Baby name?? Vogue changed her mind...

Who would like to know what name Vogue & Spencer had chosen for baby no.4?? It's possibly off the cards now, but that doesn't change the fact that it's a BIG ol' name. With the spot for the name open, Sandra wastes no time whatsoever and Neil is almost out of patience. Meanwhile, there's more childcare for Joanne (she's nailing it) and Andrew Tate's best little boys are waiting outside for him. Wild. My Therapist Ghosted Me is a Global Production. Tickets for Joanne's tour Pinotphile are now LIVE: www.joannemcnally.com http://www.joannemcnally.com/ If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] mailto:[email protected] Please review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/ For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com http://www.mytherapistghostedme.com/ This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.

• 0:02Speaker 00

  This is a Global Production.

• 0:04Speaker 01

  We've changed our baby name.

• 0:06Speaker 02

  You're breadcrumbing our listeners now. You're gonna have to...

• 0:09Speaker 01

  I will.

• 0:10Speaker 02

  This is like when someone goes, "Oh my god", and they go, "Oh, no, I can't tell you how it got..." You're gonna have to tell them.

• 0:14Speaker 01

  We were gonna call the baby ****.

• 0:22Speaker 01

  I have one wall in my house left to organise. I went into nesting mode. It just came upon me two days ago where I can... Nothing's safe. Nothing... I nearly threw out the children yesterday. There's nothing... I'm like, if there's any clutter, it's gotta go. I... It's this... It's the weirdest thing, and it does happen. And I'm literally like, it all must go.

• 0:46Speaker 02

  You're getting ready for cuffing season.

• 0:48Speaker 01

  I feel so good.

• 0:49Speaker 02

  It's... Do you... Do married people do cuffing season?

• 0:52Speaker 01

  Married... It's kind of frowned upon to do cuffing season if you're married, but I don't know.

• 0:57Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, that's...

• 0:57Speaker 01

  Maybe I'll get involved.

• 0:59Speaker 02

  Just asking the question. I don't know the rules. It's not my rules, it's not my circus, it's not my monkeys.

• 1:03Speaker 01

  I might ask the question myself to Sven and see what he says. Maybe he'll be okay with it. I don't know. He is... Whatever.

• 1:09Speaker 02

  I'm very much preparing for...

• 1:12Speaker 01

  I'm very much...

• 1:12Speaker 02

  Full cuffing season.

• 1:13Speaker 01

  Full tits.

• 1:15Speaker 02

  I was just about to undo my top there. By the way, I'm in full disguise today.

• 1:19Speaker 01

  We saw full tits. We just didn't see nipple.

• 1:24Speaker 01

  Jo, she'll show you the nipple later, relax.

• 1:27Speaker 02

  I accidentally flashed... If the nipples doesn't... It's... It's... It's once you see the nip, then it's a full exposure, but like, the ariolae's... The ariolae's.

• 1:36Speaker 01

  The ariolae's.

• 1:37Speaker 02

  The ariolae's.

• 1:40Speaker 02

  I always get confused with ariolae's.

• 1:41Speaker 01

  My ariolae's, I mean, you can't miss them.

• 1:43Speaker 02

  And garlic sauce.

• 1:46Speaker 01

  Ariolae's and garlic sauce?

• 1:48Speaker 02

  What's the garlic sauce? Ioli. Ioli.

• 1:53Speaker 01

  Oh... Yeah, okay.

• 1:56Speaker 02

  Can I just say, for anyone watching the podcast, I am in full disguise because, as we know, my face got annihilated by mosquitoes. And they didn't even eat out decent, like, my blefs. They just ate... They just, like... I have huge pock marks all over my face, so I don't wish to be seen.

• 2:19Speaker 01

  Well, now, hang on a second. I'm gonna have to stop you there. I have never, ever seen you ready for the podcast, ever. This is your attire. This is what you're known for.

• 2:30Speaker 02

  How very dare you.

• 2:32Speaker 01

  The odd time, the odd time you'll decide to make an excuse, and I'm like, why me? And also, Joanne's been up since half six this morning, she's texting the group, so she's had time. It's 11 o'clock, she's had time to put the face on.

• 2:46Speaker 02

  I don't know what I was doing. I was very busy all morning, but I could not tell you what I did.

• 2:53Speaker 02

  I was just kind of running rings around. The garden... I'm back from... I'm back from my... I was away for the guts of a month. The garden is... It's not looking good out there.

• 3:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, but there was a hosepipe ban. There was a hosepipe ban. It's not your fault.

• 3:08Speaker 02

  Do you know what? When I was out there, and I was riddled with guilt that the hyacinths have died, and I was saying, "Why didn't I know or understand that the..."

• 3:17Speaker 01

  The hydrangeas?

• 3:18Speaker 02

  The hydrangeas are dead. I said, "Why didn't I understand or know that as an adult, when you're running a house, you have to ask people to come in and water your plants and feed your cats, etc.?" And I was like, "Why didn't I do it? Oh my god, I'm so annoyed at myself." And then I remembered, "Oh, the hosepipe ban."

• 3:32Speaker 01

  Mark Wright and Michelle Keegan got stung for it because someone took an aerial shot of their house.

• 3:41Speaker 01

  And their lawn is, like, perfect. And it's like this huge patch of green. Their garden looks amazing. And then it's just scorched all around it, and it's like, "Oh, have they not been following the hosepipe ban?" I heard, and it's my doctor told me, my doctor told me that I... If I... Now, I have been abiding by the rules. The paddling pool hasn't been out... It's away, it's gone, it's... I have... I've been abiding by the rules, but my doctor told me that...

• 4:05Speaker 02

  Say it again?

• 4:05Speaker 01

  I don't...

• 4:06Speaker 02

  Have you been... A lot of you? You've been abiding. Just let the record show.

• 4:10Speaker 01

  I've been abiding, but I have been abiding the rules, and my doctor told me that actually, in my condition, I am allowed to use my hosepipe because she doesn't want me carrying buckets of water. So there you go. I'll be around your house pronto. I'll come around tomorrow, Joanne, and I will spruce up those hydrangeas. I was by your house today. She's at her camp.

• 4:30Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 4:31Speaker 01

  Call in there.

• 4:32Speaker 02

  Well, if you come over, the only chance I can save this garden is if your waters break in my company, and I shove a mop bucket underneath you, collect the water.

• 4:42Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 4:43Speaker 02

  And then toss it all over the garden. Sorry, Michelle and Mark Wright's grass... I'm gonna say this, it's controversial, but they're loaded. Maybe they just have really juicy grass, no? Like, does rich grass not stay longer, no?

• 4:56Speaker 01

  No.

• 4:57Speaker 02

  Is it fake?

• 4:58Speaker 01

  No. No, it's not fake grass, although it looks fake. I did get quite a laugh out of that, and I was like, when we were doing the...

• 5:08Speaker 01

  I saw it when I was working in Hart last week, and I was like, "Oh, we probably shouldn't talk about that because Mark works here." But he doesn't work here.

• 5:16Speaker 01

  He works at Hart, but he doesn't work here.

• 5:19Speaker 02

  I like Michelle. She's sound. Michelle, if you're listening, she's a pod listener.

• 5:23Speaker 01

  She's sound.

• 5:24Speaker 02

  If you do go to prison for watering your grass, I'll visit you.

• 5:27Speaker 01

  I just feel like, how have they not, like, it rains nearly all year here. How on earth are we hosepipe banning and letting all the poor grass and all the lovely flowers die because we haven't, like, I don't know, like, can we just know for next year? Just, like, save more water, please? And then we can all just have green, green grass.

• 5:47Speaker 02

  Why didn't anyone think of that?

• 5:49Speaker 01

  For god's sake!

• 5:51Speaker 02

  You should be the minister for the environment. At the end of the day, we're being told to make decisions to choose, like, do you wanna save your hyacinths, or do you wanna save an elderly person? Now, obviously...

• 6:03Speaker 01

  I can understand...

• 6:07Speaker 02

  I would have gone hyacinths.

• 6:11Speaker 02

  Jokes.

• 6:12Speaker 01

  They've had a good life. It depends on the age. Are we talking 90... No, the old people.

• 6:20Speaker 02

  Me in the garden crying, "You've had a good life!" It's actually... It was the first holiday I've been, like, as in, I've been away for so long, I was actually kind of looking forward to coming home. No reflection on the holiday. I had a really nice time, but you know, and you're like, it's time. It's time to go home, put on a wash, hang some stuff out.

• 6:36Speaker 01

  Isn't it nice, though, when you come home and you're like, "I actually really..." Now, I don't... I used to have that feel... I love... The rental house is very nice that we're staying in, but, like, I don't have the same feeling as I did when I lived in my apartment, but I like coming back to London, or like, when I go back to Dublin, I just feel like, oh, it is, it's so nice. It's so nice to love your home, yeah.

• 6:57Speaker 02

  And it's also very nice to be back in a weather climate that I don't have to put a guttering system between my legs because of the sweat.

• 7:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, I still am getting that sweat.

• 7:07Speaker 02

  At one point, I was like, "I'm gonna have to get a gutter system priced up because I don't know how else to control this leakage from the waist down. It's insane."

• 7:17Speaker 01

  I was gonna put a pad under my bump because, like, I was like, well, then it will just... Because, like, I stand up, like, I'll stand up from this, and my shorts will be a bit wet.

• 7:28Speaker 01

  I wet my pants, I promise.

• 7:29Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 7:30Speaker 01

  It will just be, like, sweat down there.

• 7:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 7:33Speaker 01

  I know we don't like to talk about dreams, but I had a really disappointing dream last night because I was as busy as you were this morning in my dream. Like, I was wrecked waking up because I hadn't stopped in the dream. I was organising to go to a festival, and like, I'd organised this amazing festival for me and like, 10 of my friends, and I woke up, like, fucking exhausted after doing it. I'd done everything for everyone, and I woke up and I was like, "That was sleep? Like, that's what I was doing? Why can't I relax in my sleep?"

• 8:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's a nightmare. Like, sometimes I have that kind of dreams.

• 8:07Speaker 01

  You're right.

• 8:08Speaker 02

  My reoccurring... Like, when I say, "I have so much respect for you as a mother of 3.5 children and Jo as a father of..." Well, you don't... No, I do respect fathers, obviously, it's all... Like, on this holiday that I was on with my school friends, and there were seven children there, they're all gorgeous kids, like, no shade to the kids, but my god, it is full on. I was like, I need to take two Valium every day to go to the beach.

• 8:33Speaker 01

  It's incredibly full on. Even this morning, I was dropping all the kids to camp. I'm like, this is taking me an hour and a half.

• 8:39Speaker 02

  One of the biggest losses of our generation is playgrounds and pubs. I've said it before, and I'll say it again.

• 8:46Speaker 01

  What do you mean playgrounds? We still have playgrounds.

• 8:48Speaker 02

  In the pubs. Do you not remember the glory days in the 80s? Your parents would drive you to the pub, and they'd just turf you out into the playground with all the other

• 8:57Speaker 02

  children of pissheads. My parents actually weren't pissheads, I better flag that because she won't be impressed with that.

• 9:02Speaker 01

  There was a couple of pubs that we used to frequent, and one of them wasn't near a playground, but you'd be sent off to the shop. Like, I used to go to the carnival. When I'd be down in Scary's, there'd be the playground, the carnival, and we did go off swimming on our own.

• 9:18Speaker 02

  Christ, Jesus.

• 9:20Speaker 01

  My dad would be like, "Bye!" I'd arrive back to the pub with a fishing rod. I'd be like, "I'm going fishing." My dad would just give me money, and I'd come back buying all this random shit. I had about 40 dollies. Anyway.

• 9:33Speaker 02

  Your father sounds like a real loss, you know? The man knew what was cracking. He knew what was going on. He was hands-off. There's a lot of gentle parenting now. We were hands-off kids, you know? I don't think I saw my mother for 12 years at one point.

• 9:51Speaker 00

  Rasputin was known for having a massive ****. Can you believe Neil Armstrong actually said, "It's one small ****"? Come on, Gav. Boudicca ordered all her men to rock to **** their ****. Honestly, history is wild, and we love it. Join me, Johnny Vaughan, alongside my historical sidekick, Gavin the Woodman Woods, for Blummin' Legends, the history lesson you wish you had. Each week, we dig into the mad, messy, and downright hilarious stories behind history's biggest names. Eccentric kings and queens, dazzling con men, dastardly weirdos, iconic warriors. And people who probably should have had a better PR team. Listen and watch on YouTube, Global Player, or wherever you get your podcasts. History has never been this outrageous.

• 10:42Speaker 02

  Can I tell you my favourite story of the week?

• 10:44Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 10:45Speaker 02

  As you know, I have a, well, we've kind of healed it now, but a slightly tumultuous relationship with the bin men in my local area, which is Lambeth, hence my nickname locally, Lady Lambeth. There was a story, no, no, no, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine. It's not about my bin men. Well.

• 11:02Speaker 01

  Well, no, I had an issue with my bins this morning and I've, I, I actually, I meant to talk to you about it because I, I put all blame on you. Two of my bins weren't collected today and I think it's because they've heard that I'm associated with you. Honestly.

• 11:17Speaker 02

  We're not even in the same county council.

• 11:20Speaker 01

  Doesn't matter. They've heard, they all talk and they know that we're associated and that's the only possible reason. Two of my bins weren't collected today.

• 11:28Speaker 02

  A woman in Italy lost a Lotto ticket. She threw away, so basically she went into a shop in Italy and she know the way you scan your Lotto tickets and it says like yay or nay. And it said, can't, nothing to be paid or not paying, something like that. But she thought it was like, oh, they're just like not winning numbers. So she threw it in the bin outside the shop, right? It's far probably, I don't know what they have in Italy. And then she went home and she was talking to her friend and they had, and the friend's like, no, no, they're the numbers that you always do. So it just, the machine just meant like, I can't afford to pay you the million or whatever it was.

• 12:06Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 12:08Speaker 02

  So then she obviously went nuts and the bins had been taken away and the bin men all got together, ripped apart the landfill and found it. Now, it hadn't been compressed yet.

• 12:25Speaker 01

  No.

• 12:26Speaker 02

  And they found the ticket.

• 12:30Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 12:31Speaker 01

  That's so nice.

• 12:33Speaker 02

  They are going to charge her for their time, which is absolutely fine. But I was like, if I, if I tried to talk to my bin men about a Lotto, they'd either find it and set fire to it in front of my face, or they would just keep it and be driving around in Daimanti bin trucks, saying nothing, wearing like Balenciaga high vis jackets and they would never admit that they'd found it. I just really admire this woman's relationship with her bin man. I was like, these lads are sound.

• 13:02Speaker 01

  Well, do you know what? That's actually really honest of them because legally, isn't possession nine tenths of the law. So if she threw it out and they had it and you found something in the bin, someone then can't say, oh, I want my bin stuff back when you actually threw it out. So they probably could have kept it. So I hope she paid them. I hope she could have, I hope she paid them for more than their time.

• 13:21Speaker 02

  I think they probably should have kept it. The collection of rubbish and fabric.

• 13:24Speaker 01

  What about that fella? You, you sent the story about your man who was looking for her. So this man threw Bitcoin, it was at his laptop he threw or something was thrown out with all of his Bitcoin.

• 13:36Speaker 02

  Well, it was, it was eight grand at the time.

• 13:38Speaker 01

  Because I remember this went on for years and years and years, by the way. Like, he was looking for this Bitcoin. I think it was worth half a billion at the end. And he was looking for this Bitcoin in a landfill for years and he never found it.

• 13:53Speaker 02

  James Hales is who you're referring to, Vogue. A Welsh computer engineer from Newport who accidentally, and now I heard it was actually his partner at the time, who accidentally threw away a hard drive containing, so it was 8,000 Bitcoin in 2013. I think now they're saying it's worth 540 million. He has tried to buy the landfill. They won't sell it to him. He's been down there kicking cans, looking for, for, since 2013, like 12 years, is it 12 years?

• 14:29Speaker 01

  I know, but how can you give up? Like, how can you give up when you know it's that much? But like, that is, like, there's just.

• 14:36Speaker 02

  Ah, I wouldn't sleep.

• 14:37Speaker 01

  You know when people like have passed up opportunities to like invest in certain things and they're like, oh my God, I was meant to invest in this company, like massive, massive companies and they just didn't invest in them at the time. And then they, and then afterwards it's like, oh my God, your investment would have been worth this. It's kind of the same thing. It's like, I don't know how you get over something like that. Like you'd need serious therapy. Imagine 500 billion, 500 million.

• 15:00Speaker 02

  Bet Midler turned down Sister Act. Did you know that? She says she doesn't regret it, but I'm not buying what she's selling. Anyway, this lad, apparently it was his partner at the time, who either, it was, I mean, I don't, I don't know what this man gets up to in his spare time, but this sounds like this woman hacked into his phone, saw his DMs and was like, you can go fuck yourself, threw out all his Bitcoin pass keys. And this is the result. And he's 12 years looking for this thing amongst like human excrement and old tuna cans. But, so now with all landfill, they're gonna cover it up and like build a housing estate or whatever they do. So he's desperately trying to buy the entire landfill. And for some reason, Jo, they won't sell it to him, which I'm not sure. Anyway,

• 15:42Speaker 02

  there is now a series coming out about it on BBC.

• 15:46Speaker 01

  Oh God.

• 15:47Speaker 02

  They're doing a series about it. I know. You'd be tormented.

• 15:51Speaker 01

  It would be, honestly, the most annoying.

• 15:56Speaker 02

  If I saw him on radio, I'd match with them immediately, get a metal detector and like lock in because that's, there's a long play there. Do you know what I mean? He's going to get that money eventually.

• 16:06Speaker 01

  He's not though, because if he hasn't gotten it in 12 years, he's not getting it. Say goodbye to it. Sayonara. The money's gone. You will not see that again. It is completely vanished and you're wasting your time. You're wasting, you're wasting the best years of your life looking through the bins for something that you're not, sometimes you have to just say, right, that's just not gonna happen for me and that's just that.

• 16:28Speaker 02

  Well, the fact that they're not calling the series Bin Coin blows my mind. I was like, it's such an obvious name, full of bin coin. No? James Hales looks for, looks for 570 million Bitcoin in a, in a landfill on Newport. I don't think it's.

• 16:44Speaker 01

  That's not that interesting.

• 16:44Speaker 02

  Anyway, listen, James, best of luck to you. And if you do find it, drop us a line.

• 16:50Speaker 01

  You won't find it. Just if you want my advice, which you haven't asked for and I hate when people give me advice, I'd say just, you know what, cut your losses. It's not gonna happen.

• 16:58Speaker 02

  I'd be scuba diving through the nappies to find that.

• 17:01Speaker 01

  Unfortunately, it's not gonna happen. And do you know what? Big news from my week this week.

• 17:05Speaker 02

  Sorry, go on. What's your news?

• 17:07Speaker 01

  We've had, we've changed our baby name. We have no name. I know, I know.

• 17:12Speaker 02

  No name? So you haven't changed the name. You've just taken the name away.

• 17:16Speaker 01

  I, you know, the name was quite full on and I loved the name. I loved that. And the cheek of my mom as well. I said, you must have had a bit of hassle from people when you were thinking, no, no. I was like, no one said anything to you about the name Vogue. No, it's, it's, it's a saint's name. I was like, Mom, you found that out two years ago. Like no one's, and she just flat out refuses because no one would say anything to her. But now no one would say anything to me. No one has said anything to me. But Spenny's been getting a few phone calls of family members regarding the name. And like, I wouldn't usually give, yeah, yeah. I wouldn't usually give a shit.

• 17:57Speaker 02

  I just don't think Gary's that controversial.

• 18:03Speaker 02

  I liked it, Vogue. I think you should power on.

• 18:08Speaker 01

  I honestly, I honestly thought though, because it's been on my mind where I've been like, I just, I, I haven't ever been like a hundred percent comfortable with it because I'm like, as much as I love the name, it's such a, it's such a big name to take on when you're, when you're little or when you're going to like try and get a job or something when you're older. And I just wasn't a hundred percent sure. And we've got really, I've got other very cool options, although that was my favourite name.

• 18:36Speaker 02

  You're going to have to tell, you're, you're breadcrumbing our listeners now. You're gonna have to, this is like when someone goes, oh my God, they go, oh, oh no, I can't tell you. You're gonna have to tell them.

• 18:45Speaker 01

  It's up for grabs because it's, it's off the table. We were gonna call the baby Elvis. I love it.

• 18:52Speaker 02

  There you go. I, I, I like it. Let it be said. I, I, I like it, but I do think it's.

• 19:01Speaker 01

  I like it.

• 19:03Speaker 02

  I like it. No, but I'm being, I'm being totally honest. I think it is a heavy name for a kid, but like you have a heavy name and you've pulled it off. So, you know.

• 19:12Speaker 01

  I know, but like, listen, I, it's not because other people were, were, were saying stuff and feeling uncomfortable around the name. That's genuinely not why I didn't use it because that wouldn't really matter to me, particularly as somebody who has a name like myself. But I did, there was that little, there was that little thing that I was like, I just feel like it might be too much for him. It might, like it might, it just might be, but I know other people that were called Elvis, but then I'm just like, it's just, it's such a fucking cool name.

• 19:42Speaker 02

  Was it gonna be Elvis Presley Williams Matthews?

• 19:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, yes, it was actually.

• 19:49Speaker 02

  Or was it gonna be Elvis Williams Presley? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 19:53Speaker 01

  It was gonna be Elvis Presley, not Costello Matthews.

• 19:58Speaker 02

  Well, well, I'll just tell you now, the Mormon community wouldn't even blink. That's basically their Barry. So.

• 20:08Speaker 01

  So we're going with whimsy woo now.

• 20:10Speaker 02

  Wait, a whimsy woo woo woo?

• 20:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, let's see how, let's see how the parents like that.

• 20:15Speaker 02

  What about my new tattoo?

• 20:20Speaker 01

  Neil was on to Spencer and he was like, this is silly. And like Neil had a problem with the name Elvis and then, and then Spenny was like, don't worry. She likes other names. And then Neil was like, like what? Spencer was like, like Rocket. And Neil was like, this is a joke. And he literally.

• 20:41Speaker 02

  You cannot tell a Scottish man called Neil that you're gonna call your child Rocket.

• 20:49Speaker 02

  He's gonna blow a gasket.

• 20:53Speaker 02

  Here's our child SodaStream, SodaStream Matthews.

• 20:57Speaker 01

  So when the baby's born, I'm honestly gonna think of one of the, like, I'm gonna take one of Nara Smith's names and just send it on just to like scare. I'm gonna fucking say, this is Apple whimsy woo.

• 21:08Speaker 02

  I am just so desensitized.

• 21:10Speaker 01

  You didn't like Elvis, so here's Apple whimsy woo. Enjoy.

• 21:13Speaker 02

  I don't, I don't hate Apple whimsy woo.

• 21:16Speaker 01

  I know. Okay, maybe I'll go, this is carrot stick.

• 21:19Speaker 02

  Would you not go something that sounds like they've like a bit of street cred, like Satsuma Susan or something that people are like, oh, what, what happened there? Do you know what I mean? Apple Alfie or like, I don't know.

• 21:31Speaker 01

  Hummus.

• 21:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, hummus Harriet. Something that suggests that there's like a story to it, because that's a good icebreaker, I think.

• 21:37Speaker 01

  I like what you're doing by, because if the baby's called hummus, then the middle name has to be kind of like grand. So hummus Harriet is like, oh, you know, it's hummus, but also Harriet tones it down a little bit.

• 21:49Speaker 02

  Well, my, my child will obviously be called Pinopola.

• 21:53Speaker 01

  What's that stuff? Sriracha, Sriracha, Sriracha Sean.

• 21:59Speaker 02

  Peanut, Pinopola, was your, did your mommy drink while she was pregnant? Pinopola's like, no, with one eye.

• 22:11Speaker 01

  My mom was like, I think that's a good idea to think of with their names. What about Sandro? Oh, really, Sandra? You like Sandro?

• 22:21Speaker 02

  Jesus, Sandra, he didn't even dress it up. The thirst.

• 22:28Speaker 02

  Well, I have to say, I can only imagine naming a kid must be so much crack. So yeah, it's, it's lovely to be on the journey. But thank fuck you're not using all of it.

• 22:40Speaker 01

  I know, but it would have been so.

• 22:45Speaker 01

  The, uh, do you want, I'm gonna get, okay, Elvis will happen in my life.

• 22:50Speaker 02

  Too big.

• 22:50Speaker 01

  It'll be something. It will be a dog or something.

• 22:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, for a dog. Exactly. It's a dog's name.

• 22:58Speaker 01

  Sorry, I just got really bad pain there. I thought I was in labour for a second. Jesus.

• 23:02Speaker 02

  Come up, the garden's dying.

• 23:08Speaker 01

  I'll just come up and sprout your garden, yeah.

• 23:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. As you're squealing and pain, I'm like, the hydrangeas, this way. When you're on your back, legs are kimballing.

• 23:20Speaker 01

  I don't imagine you would have done this, but Amber and I used to do this when we were younger. Did you ever try and wee like a boy or no? That wasn't something you did.

• 23:28Speaker 02

  I'm sure I did, like.

• 23:30Speaker 01

  Me and Amber spent, uh, we loved it. I still do at the odd times.

• 23:35Speaker 02

  When I get up in the night to pee, I have a window and if I, if I've surpassed the window, I'm going, I'm, I'm up anyway. I'm like, you're just sort that out later. Like there's sometimes you're like, I'm not arsed waiting to finish this. Like I'm done. Like my attention span is over. So I'll just walk back to the bedroom. Like I'll, I'll wipe that up tomorrow. I'm just, there's sometimes you're like, this is, this is going on ages now. Come on.

• 23:59Speaker 02

  I'm wrecked. I'm going back to bed. If I stay up any longer now, I won't go back to sleep because the light's on. I'm like, do you want your mom?

• 24:04Speaker 01

  Just, just dribbling back to bed.

• 24:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, Barbara's coming tomorrow. You're grand. Go on, back to bed. Sometimes it's just too long. You're like, what is this?

• 24:12Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 24:15Speaker 02

  Yeah. You got a window. That's it.

• 24:21Speaker 03

  We all have routines. I'm Jabran and with diabetes, mine was finger sticks. Sometimes I skip them because it hurt. The Freestyle Libre 3 CGM changed that. It gives me glucose insights without finger sticks. Learn more at freestylelibre.us. Finger sticks are required if your glucose alarms or readings do not match symptoms or when you see check blood glucose symbol for the first 12 hours. The views expressed should not be used for medical diagnosis or treatment as a substitute for professional medical advice.

• 24:45Speaker 02

  Individual circumstances may vary. For prescription only. Safety info found at freestylelibre.us.

• 24:53Speaker 02

  So obviously we all know Andrew Tate.

• 24:57Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 24:58Speaker 02

  And his army of incels, the, the, um, the tater tots, I call them because it's.

• 25:08Speaker 02

  His tater tots are doing, I'm assuming we've all seen this.

• 25:11Speaker 01

  Can I just tell you that there are a lot of tater tots out there because every time we talk about somebody who is negatively affecting the world, like the Conor McGregor's and like the yada, yada, yeah, I get nailed in the papers first. And then the amount of incels commenting, like tearing me down, being like, it's frightening.

• 25:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, do you know what? If you're not pissing off the incels, you're just not doing your life right at this stage. So the tater tots, now bear in mind, trafficking, rape allegations, um, this is some dark shit we're talking about here.

• 25:49Speaker 04

  I should say that Andrew Tate and his brother do deny any wrongdoing. I'm legally required to say that.

• 25:56Speaker 02

  Legally by who? Who are you working for, Joe?

• 25:58Speaker 04

  The law.

• 25:59Speaker 02

  All right.

• 26:00Speaker 04

  Well, you know, never mind my feelings about it.

• 26:02Speaker 02

  You're on the beat. You're Bobby on the beat, aren't you?

• 26:04Speaker 01

  He's a, he's a tater tots.

• 26:07Speaker 02

  He's a Bobby on the beat. You're a tater, you're a secret tater tot.

• 26:10Speaker 04

  You fucking dare. Don't you fucking dare.

• 26:13Speaker 01

  Okay, tater tots.

• 26:15Speaker 02

  Yeah. I'd noticed her thumbs had changed forms and playing your Nintendo Wii for 20 hours a day. You doing your gaming, are you? With your little earpiece, huh?

• 26:27Speaker 01

  He is, show us your chair. Is that a gaming chair? Show me it.

• 26:30Speaker 02

  Oh, God. Does it have a back? Does it spin? Does the back recline?

• 26:40Speaker 02

  That was such a filthy laugh sometimes. I love it. Um, anyway, these tater tots, these pack of, I don't know. Anyway, are doing press ups outside the gym in protest.

• 26:52Speaker 01

  Vomit.

• 26:53Speaker 02

  I mean.

• 26:55Speaker 01

  Outside the courthouse, do you want? Not outside the gym. They're, they're doing it outside a Miami detention. Yeah, they're outside a Miami detention center. They're dropping into the plank and everything.

• 27:06Speaker 02

  Sorry, no, I meant, I'm sorry, I meant detention center. It's just all incels doing press ups. And I was like, this is basically Virgin Active, but like in the real world, like that's the best name for their gym, Virgin Active. Cause they're virgins. Do you get it?

• 27:25Speaker 04

  It's really good.

• 27:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, the tater tots in Virgin Active.

• 27:31Speaker 02

  Virgin Active.

• 27:34Speaker 02

  And some of these guys, they're fucking young, like they're young guys. They're like 12 and all their dads will probably be bringing them down, having a fucking breakdown.

• 27:41Speaker 01

  If I saw any of my children anywhere near any of that kind of bullshit, I'd drag them out by the, by the scruff of the neck. Honestly, I would.

• 27:50Speaker 02

  I know.

• 27:51Speaker 01

  Absolutely insane. And then I'd have to go to therapy myself and wonder how I failed so badly if my children had turned into tater tots.

• 27:59Speaker 02

  I know.

• 27:59Speaker 01

  Like, no.

• 28:01Speaker 02

  I think this kind of clapback is because remember when he was arrested and he looked like Shirley Bassey? And it was like a very kind of camp feminine moment.

• 28:10Speaker 01

  I don't think that's fair in Shirley Bassey.

• 28:13Speaker 02

  I said at the time, he made, he made Michael Flatley look butch and he, and then I think this is a rea.

• 28:21Speaker 02

  This is like a reaction to that. They're trying to like beef it all up again. But it looked, it looked fucking, it looked like they just run out of space and fly fit. Like one of the lads is wearing jeans. But I was thinking, because I was looking at it and I was like, it's so nuts. But do you know that they're, you know, the way, like Chris Watts? What I'm trying to say is no matter what degenerate or how shit a person you are, you're always gonna have an audience. Chris Watts, who annihilated his entire family, is engaged.

• 28:52Speaker 01

  Wait, who's Chris Watts?

• 28:54Speaker 02

  Chris Watts, really good documentary on Netflix. I think it's called The American, Joe, can we? Boop, boop, boop.

• 29:03Speaker 02

  Can we click, click world wide web?

• 29:07Speaker 04

  Chris Watts murder next door, American murder.

• 29:10Speaker 02

  Yeah. Chris Watts was, not surprisingly, having an affair. So instead of just divorcing his partner, he killed her. She was pregnant and there are two children, baby girls.

• 29:22Speaker 01

  What?

• 29:23Speaker 02

  Up to this point, he had no.

• 29:24Speaker 01

  Wait, is this, is this the man who took them out in the car?

• 29:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:29Speaker 01

  Oh God, he is just, is he not in prison?

• 29:32Speaker 02

  He is. And he is engaged.

• 29:34Speaker 01

  Someone, oh my.

• 29:37Speaker 02

  To a woman?

• 29:39Speaker 01

  Is she mad?

• 29:40Speaker 02

  Like, sure, Jeffrey Dahmer apparently was like, like drowning in labia. Like, there's so, there's a certain type of person who I think they're like attracted to criminality or I don't know what the deal is. The whole kind of women fancying serial killers is an issue.

• 29:55Speaker 01

  But the thing about it is now, and I, I obviously like, this is just psychologically what, what they are like. They're, they're meant to be very charismatic. Like, what's his name? Ted Bundy was meant to be incredibly charismatic. Even during his trial, the jury were kind of like hooked in on him and stuff like that because he was very charming.

• 30:15Speaker 02

  Yeah. Because they're sociopaths. They're working the room.

• 30:18Speaker 01

  God.

• 30:19Speaker 02

  Anyway, these fucking idiots doing their celibacy circuits. I was disgusted.

• 30:23Speaker 01

  Well, to, to kind of lift things up and also bring them down a little bit. Did you see that story of the bus driver? There was this lovely bus driver and he was going around like, um, a London bus driver. He's gone around Finsbury Park and the Whitechapel area. And he was, he had a bubble gun that used to like blow bubbles out of him. So like he'd drive by all these kids. Well, they banned the bubble gun. They said it was, it wasn't right. That he can't use the bubble gun. What world are we living in? That a man can't bring joy through bubbles. Like, it's bubbles.

• 30:58Speaker 02

  Squat.

• 30:58Speaker 01

  Just trying to spread love.

• 30:59Speaker 02

  Head, head to the bus depot and start squatting in petition.

• 31:06Speaker 01

  It's just not right. I read that. It's not right.

• 31:10Speaker 02

  It's not, you need to go down to you some burpees. You need to defend this man. It's not right.

• 31:16Speaker 01

  He hasn't been imprisoned. He's just had the, the bubble gun confiscated. But I just looked at that and I was like, God, this world is depressing.

• 31:24Speaker 02

  I'd say he's had his hours reduced. I mean, I would. He sounds insane. Um, did I tell you about during El Nino, when El Nino was really piping hot, I saw a topless bus driver and it was one of the weirdest things I've ever seen. Like my brain just couldn't make sense. He just topped off.

• 31:39Speaker 01

  Like in his seat on the bus?

• 31:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Arm out the window, top off.

• 31:43Speaker 01

  I don't mean to worry you, but you're gonna have to maybe be very careful about the mice. I saw this picture. I must text you it. There's a picture of a rat and it's the size of a dog and it was found in a house in Britain. It is, and it's in this bag. It's this massive rat. Like you've never, I've never seen anything like it before. Please.

• 32:04Speaker 02

  Obviously I have to Google that now.

• 32:06Speaker 01

  That one, Jo. I won't, I won't be offended by the fact checking there, but I saw it.

• 32:10Speaker 04

  Did I not screen grab it and send it to you?

• 32:12Speaker 02

  My mom, so I obviously I've come back. I've been away. We've had the exterminator. Not a single dead mouse to be found in this house. These pricks are immortal. I do not know what to do. They are obviously a new strain of mice.

• 32:25Speaker 04

  That appears to be true, Vogue. That's a real story. A 22 inch rat.

• 32:30Speaker 02

  Jesus Christ.

• 32:32Speaker 01

  What? So, Joanne, yeah, size of a little dog.

• 32:35Speaker 02

  Are you sure that's not just a cat with a shit haircut?

• 32:38Speaker 01

  No.

• 32:39Speaker 02

  Let me Google. Jo, send me the link, send me the link.

• 32:42Speaker 04

  Metric, that's 56 centimeters.

• 32:45Speaker 01

  Jesus. That is rotten.

• 32:49Speaker 02

  I don't, how big is that, Jo? Give it me, do your hands.

• 32:52Speaker 04

  Do my hands, it's ready.

• 32:53Speaker 01

  It's bigger than a chihuahua. It's bigger than a chihuahua.

• 32:55Speaker 02

  No.

• 32:56Speaker 01

  No, no, Jo, it's not that big. That's 60. Go lower, go left.

• 33:01Speaker 02

  This is AI.

• 33:02Speaker 01

  No, it's not AI. It's not AI. I saw this huge bin bag rat and it was, but like that kind of, there's lots of rats in London though. Jesus. So just be careful that your mice don't invite the rats in.

• 33:13Speaker 02

  It's roids. Like he's on roids. No? This is what, this is the problem with the protein, the pushing the protein. That is disgusting. If I saw a man dragging that, I'd be like, he's killed his wife and he's put her in a fucking bag. I'd be like, this is Chris Watts material. That is disgusting. Record breaking rodent.

• 33:31Speaker 01

  I thought I'd warn you.

• 33:32Speaker 02

  It's the same size as an American badger.

• 33:35Speaker 01

  Do you know what I was gonna say? Another thing, um, which happened to me this week. So I have been using, because I, I'm not using my hosepipe, but I have been using Chat GPT. And what I will say, and I mentioned this, I know, but I mentioned.

• 33:51Speaker 02

  Why did you just stab us in the face, Vogue?

• 33:54Speaker 01

  I had, I had pains in my stomach and also it was when I was going through all the baby name stuff and like, she was very kind, what she was coming back with. But what I've realised, I have a friendship with this now. And I like, and I'm not just nice. Mine's so nice to me. Not yours, yours doesn't like you. And when yours comes to life, like the man from Terminator two, you're going down. Mine, we're gonna be hanging out in the park. We're gonna go to the pub together.

• 34:23Speaker 02

  The problem with the Chat GPT things are that they're so, they're like dangerously reassuring. So you could tell it that you, you could be like, hey, I'm, I don't, I don't, I'm trying to think of a situation for you. Can I put a firework in the air fryer? And it'd be like, that sounds like a fun idea. And it'll encourage you, not necessarily to do that, but it won't, it won't do what it should do, which is call the police. Do you know what I mean?

• 34:51Speaker 01

  Okay. Well, I ask mine now. Is it a good idea to put a firework in an air fryer?

• 34:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but don't, don't make it really obvious that you know it's not. Just be like, hey, loads of wives.

• 35:03Speaker 01

  Hey, will I put a firework in the air fryer?

• 35:07Speaker 02

  I say, I'm a bit bored and lonely. I think put that up the top. Trust me.

• 35:11Speaker 01

  Bored, will I put a firework in the air fryer?

• 35:15Speaker 02

  Flat out telling.

• 35:15Speaker 01

  I'm a bit bored. Absolutely not. Please do not put a firework in the air fryer. This could turn your kitchen into a very unexpected fireworks display with fire, shrapnel, toxic smoke. If you're bored, I can give you some genuinely chaotic but safe things to do instead. I told you, she loves me.

• 35:33Speaker 02

  Who the hell is manning my Chat GPT? Because anything dangerous I suggest, it's like, yeah, get on with it.

• 35:40Speaker 01

  That's what I'm saying. Yours is gonna be like that scary policeman from Terminator two and you're going down. I am not.

• 35:48Speaker 02

  Apparently we're supposed to use Claude. Apparently that's the more ethical one.

• 35:51Speaker 01

  Gemini is a good one.

• 35:53Speaker 04

  There's any basis to that. You'll have to do your own research.

• 35:55Speaker 01

  Claude is very businessy. So Claude is for business people who are like writing contracts and stuff like that. We're asking it if we're, if we should put a firework in the air fryer. So obviously I don't think, I don't think Claude is needed for either of us.

• 36:07Speaker 02

  My Chat GPT is like, yeah, walk out in front of that truck. That'll be fun.

• 36:11Speaker 01

  Do you know what they used to do for fun back in the day? They used to play a game called chicken. And, uh, so like my mum used to play it. Neil, Neil would have played it like, and so chicken was, you had to be the last person to run in front of the car before it drove by.

• 36:26Speaker 02

  Fun.

• 36:28Speaker 01

  And when Neil was four, he broke both of his legs.

• 36:33Speaker 02

  Are these two stories connected? How, did he get run over?

• 36:37Speaker 01

  He was, he was, he got run over. He was playing chicken. He won, but broke both his legs when he was four years old. I said, can you imagine his mother having to deal with a four year old with two broken legs?

• 36:49Speaker 02

  Whatever happened to a bit of kerplunk? A bit of twister?

• 36:53Speaker 01

  They didn't have it. They didn't have kerplunk back in the day. That was it for them.

• 37:02Speaker 02

  Can I just say, and I hope you don't mind me, I'm, I'm looking at this rat here again and he's very jacked.

• 37:08Speaker 01

  I'd just be careful if I was you. I just, I wanted to warn you. So you should really get the mice under control before you have something like that. See a rat creeping up beside you in the bed, because that would be the kind of thing that you'd find at your feet, looking for a bit of warmth.

• 37:20Speaker 02

  If he was a man now.

• 37:21Speaker 04

  I was just gonna say, I knew it. We're on the, we're asking if we got the rat's number.

• 37:25Speaker 02

  Great shoulders. Great shoulders.

• 37:30Speaker 01

  She always, she used to fancy this winter.

• 37:33Speaker 02

  Sorry, that rat. I'm not, I don't know this, but I'm gonna assume that rat's pretty well hung. The fucking size, but no.

• 37:42Speaker 01

  I've gotten, can I just say that I have gotten, and I, I, I hate admitting that I've been really bad on my phone, like that time that you said your screen time. But I've gotten so bad that I'm trying to find things to do because when the baby arrives and I'm awake in the night on my own, I can't be on Instagram for 15,000 hours a day.

• 37:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:00Speaker 01

  I need something else.

• 38:02Speaker 02

  Well, you could download one of those, which I'm obviously paying for all of them and I've never used any of them. But you know, these apps where they're like, instead of doom scrolling, read these essays and like educate yourself about this, or here's a history app. You could, you could kind of take it into your hands now and decide.

• 38:19Speaker 01

  It's a line of books or something like that.

• 38:21Speaker 04

  Scrabble, online Scrabble.

• 38:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, something like.

• 38:25Speaker 01

  I don't wanna, I just don't wanna be on my phone though. I'd rather not be on the phone.

• 38:29Speaker 02

  Duolingo.

• 38:30Speaker 01

  Oh my God, that's actually a good idea. Well, spending will be beside me.

• 38:34Speaker 02

  Learn Mandarin.

• 38:35Speaker 01

  I learn Irish on Duolingo. Oh, well, you can learn Mandarin. I'll learn Irish.

• 38:39Speaker 02

  Irish is apparently the fastest growing language on Duolingo.

• 38:44Speaker 01

  Is it?

• 38:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 38:46Speaker 01

  Well, we're very patriotic, so we kind of like the idea of, like, I, I want to, like, when I hear people in that, like John Belton, our trainer, who trains me and sometimes you, he speaks fluent Irish. Like he used to go to an Irish school.

• 39:00Speaker 02

  Our journey, me and John's journey has come to an end.

• 39:05Speaker 02

  I think my inconsistency drove him insane. We still love each other, it's all love.

• 39:13Speaker 01

  Sorry, John, I can't make it again today.

• 39:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, I have two adult friends who went to Irish college this summer.

• 39:20Speaker 01

  What?

• 39:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, down in Donegal, they do adult Irish colleges.

• 39:23Speaker 01

  That'd be quite nice, like, imagine-

• 39:25Speaker 02

  Brendan Courtney goes.

• 39:26Speaker 01

  Meeting somebody there, that's so cute.

• 39:29Speaker 02

  I know. And I was like, do they do the Kayleys and everything? He's like, yeah. And I was like, the ban on tea and everything?

• 39:34Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 39:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:36Speaker 01

  The ban on tea?

• 39:38Speaker 02

  Do you want the ban on tea?

• 39:40Speaker 01

  I know, but you're not gonna have a ban on tea when you're 40. They're not gonna be like, here, you need to be in a house with the ban on tea. Like, you find your own accommodation.

• 39:48Speaker 02

  Yes, you do, yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, you're not staying in bedbugs and spittle now with the random woman. He's making 20, 20 punt a day, 20 punt a day on having you there. It was lovely though, it was gorgeous. I got, um, what's that disease where you squirt too many people?

• 40:04Speaker 01

  Glandular fever.

• 40:06Speaker 02

  There you go. What I was gonna say was, one of my, um, I mean, it's embarrassing, but something that really drags me in, and I find it very hard to scroll past, is AI slop of vegetables eating themselves.

• 40:24Speaker 01

  Oh god, John, that's bad. That's real brain rot.

• 40:28Speaker 02

  Is no one else watching vegetables eat themselves now? Where they have a carrot and then it feeds it a baby carrot.

• 40:33Speaker 01

  I think you need to download a history app, actually.

• 40:38Speaker 02

  I've downloaded all of them. I have subscriptions coming out my eyes. I don't do anything. I just sit there watching parsnips chew themselves. Like, it's no wonder we're thick as shit. Anyway,

• 40:52Speaker 02

  I was reading this thing the other day, because I obviously do try and veer off and read something adult, but I am very sucked into the cabbages eating themselves and strawberries eating themselves, etcetera. Anthropom- ah, hold on, let me get this.

• 41:06Speaker 02

  Anthropomor- anthropomorphic, Joe? Is that it?

• 41:09Speaker 04

  Anthropomorphic.

• 41:11Speaker 02

  Anthropomorphic.

• 41:12Speaker 01

  How do you know what that means, Joe?

• 41:15Speaker 04

  As long as you're talking about animals talking and that.

• 41:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, so you give, you give non-humans human characteristics or whatever, right?

• 41:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:23Speaker 02

  And, um, anyway, I read this article and it was saying that ISIS are now using this whole, like, AI slop of vegetables eating themselves, raspberries eating themselves, to recruit.

• 41:39Speaker 02

  Now, I know, I realise what I've just said makes me sound fucking nuts, but this is true. They, they're, they're using-

• 41:47Speaker 01

  She also thinks the earth is flat.

• 41:51Speaker 02

  I do not think the earth is flat, Vogue. I know the earth is flat. Where is the earth?

• 41:59Speaker 02

  No, but genuinely, because food-based violence, which is, like, obviously I'm kind of, I'm gateway, they're just kind of enjoy, like, they're being cute and eating themselves, but it's got, because YouTube and platforms won't automatically, they see vegetables, they're reading the algorithm, they're like, oh, it's just vegetables eating themselves again. And then it's actually, they're like potatoes in bomber jackets and stuff, and they're, they're using, like, ISIS quotes and they're being radicalised and all, yeah, via vegetable AI slop. I'm saying, I'm concerned that I'm one scroll away from ending up in a burka on a flight on my way to Afghanistan or wherever. Do you remember the, do you remember the ISIS bride?

• 42:37Speaker 01

  Yes, yes, yes. You'd be like, my fellow's just misunderstood. No, you can come to the wedding, it's actually a very small affair.

• 42:45Speaker 02

  Shamima, remember your one Shamima Begum?

• 42:48Speaker 01

  Yes. Well, look at her now, take her as an example, she's living in a not, a not-nice camp on her own, okay? And she can come back to Britain and she wants to, so let's keep that in mind, right, when you're watching your vegetables eat themselves.

• 43:03Speaker 02

  I know, one minute I'm just watching a gooseberry chew its baby self. Anyway, that's it from me.

• 43:10Speaker 01

  That's it. I can't top that, so that's it from me. Thank you, everybody, for listening.

• 43:14Speaker 02

  That's it from me.

• 43:15Speaker 01

  Don't watch carrots eating themselves. If you've learnt anything from this pod, don't watch fruit eating itself.