MTGM EXTRA! "THIS should be Vogue's new baby's name..."

This week, Vogue has some interesting revelations on the name for baby no.4... Meanwhile, Joanne is on holiday (agaaaaain) but she's paying the price this time, with more childcare duties and a horrendous relationship with the local insect population. Plus, a listener who needs a confidence boost to put herself out there and make friends at 35 years old... YES SHE CAN. My Therapist Ghosted Me is a Global Production. Tickets for Joanne's tour Pinotphile are now LIVE: www.joannemcnally.com http://www.joannemcnally.com/ If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] mailto:[email protected] Please review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/ For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com http://www.mytherapistghostedme.com/ This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.

• 0:02Speaker 00

  This is a global production.

• 0:04Speaker 01

  And one of my partners at the time was like, actually, I'm not in the mood. I was like, excuse me?

• 0:10Speaker 02

  Loads of people fancy pregnant people.

• 0:13Speaker 01

  I was like, you'll ride me if it makes you sick. You'll gag through us.

• 0:17Speaker 02

  What's wrong? What bitch you not fancy?

• 0:25Speaker 02

  Do you like my Hail Mary?

• 0:27Speaker 01

  I don't know what's happening. Why do you look like a virgin?

• 0:32Speaker 00

  So for the, for the audio listeners only, what are we seeing?

• 0:36Speaker 02

  So I bought this thing. It was actually off a collab from H and M of this amazing girl. Now, it looked probably better on her, but it's like a balaclava, a lace balaclava without the front being the balaclava. What are those things called that you get? You know, that you wear over your head? A hood, it's like a hood, but a lace hood. And I feel as...

• 0:58Speaker 01

  I mean...

• 1:00Speaker 02

  Growing up in packed apartments.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  For whoever has, it's beautiful craftsmanship. So I feel you should correct the balaclava comparison because it's very much not like a balaclava. It's like a...

• 1:11Speaker 00

  It's like Little Red Riding Hood, but more Virgin Mary.

• 1:14Speaker 01

  Lacy. It's what I imagine kind of like the head of Gucci would get married in.

• 1:19Speaker 02

  Kind of could be sexy.

• 1:21Speaker 01

  It's not kneecap vibes, it's more like royal vibes, yeah.

• 1:24Speaker 02

  Are you saying I look sexy? Because that's what I'm hearing.

• 1:29Speaker 01

  That's like wearing a hat and saying I've got mittens on. There's nothing like a balaclava.

• 1:34Speaker 01

  You've lost your way completely there now. Did she sell it to you as a balaclava?

• 1:38Speaker 02

  I'm... Well, that's what I thought it was. I have a great way of describing things, as you know, so that's what it is. It's a balaclava and it's got a little...

• 1:45Speaker 01

  It's a balaclava.

• 1:46Speaker 02

  It looks lovely. I'm just trying to look good looking today because I don't think Spenny fancies me anymore.

• 1:51Speaker 01

  It's, it's absolutely beautiful. Of course he doesn't, you're married for ages now, come on.

• 1:58Speaker 02

  No, because I think our fun times, our fun times are over, if you get me. I'm too pregnant now. I was like, and listen, I know... I don't want to, I don't want to. I was just being a, like, a nice wife, a good participant. But then when he was like, yeah, well, you're really pregnant. I was like, excuse me? Sorry, are you not, are you not into it anymore or what? And he's like, Vogue, you're, you're giving birth like any minute now, it's probably...

• 2:25Speaker 01

  Suddenly now he's respectful and leaving you alone. I, the second, like, I've been in relationships where, when they're at you all the time and you're like, do you know when you have, like, with someone who, the menus, you have a higher sex drive? I'm sorry, stereotype, whatever, blah, blah, blah. But I remember one time when some, when one of my partners at the time was like, actually, I'm not in the mood. I was like, excuse me? Excuse me? Oh, it was Chernobyl carnage. I was like flipping tables over and all. I was like, you'll ride me if it makes you sick. You'll gag through us. How dare you?

• 3:01Speaker 02

  I have the balaclava for you, my friend, if that happens again. You could put that over the head.

• 3:06Speaker 01

  It's a lace hood, Vogue.

• 3:08Speaker 02

  That's what it is, it's a lace hood.

• 3:09Speaker 01

  I know what you're doing, you're trying to be the Madonna, not the whore. Good play.

• 3:15Speaker 02

  Listen, it's amazing when you've no interest yourself, but if somebody says, oh no, you're probably, it's probably time to, and then you're like, sorry? And what part of me don't you fancy? I was sitting on the toilet last night for the 90th time, doing a wee, and I'm like, what's wrong? What bitch you not fancy? And he's like...

• 3:33Speaker 01

  It's my blasts, isn't it? It's my blasts. It's my blasts. I knew it.

• 3:38Speaker 02

  Is it because of Vogue, don't you just want it?

• 3:40Speaker 00

  I can't speak for the, I can't speak for the whole male population, but I suspect on his part, there comes a point where you're sort of thinking more about the, the fact, the presence of a baby than...

• 3:52Speaker 02

  Well, do you know what, Jo? People are mad for pregnancy porn.

• 3:55Speaker 00

  There's a baby just sort of there, you know?

• 3:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, but people are mad for pregnancy porn. Loads of people fancy pregnant people.

• 4:02Speaker 00

  I'm not kink shaming, not kink shaming, each to their own, if you want to smash on to it.

• 4:06Speaker 01

  There's a concern you'd like knock it out at this late stage, really, isn't there?

• 4:10Speaker 02

  Oh, I mean, well, then, then last night, he was like, actually...

• 4:12Speaker 01

  Dent the head.

• 4:14Speaker 02

  But last night, then he was like, actually, I'm kind of, I'm in the mood now. And I was like, oh no, no, no. That's backfired, no.

• 4:20Speaker 01

  Oh, that ship is sail, buddy.

• 4:21Speaker 02

  No, what are you talking about?

• 4:23Speaker 01

  That went, I was close. That one night that I was rejected, now I still remember vividly. I slept in, and I slept in the spare room.

• 4:34Speaker 02

  In a rage?

• 4:37Speaker 01

  I went up puming and I slept in the spare room in the attic, in this, in a single bed. I was like... Because I, and like the amount of times I would have rejected them, but the one, I was like, oh, who is she? Huh?

• 4:51Speaker 01

  Who, show me your... Who is she? Yeah.

• 4:56Speaker 02

  It's actually so bad, it is such a, it's like, you can't win. Sometimes, I, I do have to say, sometimes they can't win. And that's fair enough, and that's our prerogative.

• 5:05Speaker 01

  They can't.

• 5:06Speaker 02

  We will decide when you win.

• 5:08Speaker 01

  I've always said, it's one real for them and another real for us. And I make no apologies for it.

• 5:14Speaker 02

  I know, and it is, it's different. God, you're poor doubts. You're poor little things.

• 5:21Speaker 01

  Silly billys, huh? Silly little billys.

• 5:25Speaker 02

  Oh, God.

• 5:26Speaker 01

  Silly billys.

• 5:28Speaker 02

  Anyhow.

• 5:28Speaker 01

  Sorry, can I, can I talk to you about my medical emergency, please?

• 5:33Speaker 02

  Yes, you can, it's...

• 5:35Speaker 01

  One, do you even know, do you even know where I am? Does anyone care where I am?

• 5:39Speaker 02

  I know, I know exactly where you are. Like, I could, I was there myself, I know exactly where you are.

• 5:45Speaker 01

  Oh, that's fair, yeah, yeah.

• 5:46Speaker 02

  And I know exactly what you're up to, okay?

• 5:49Speaker 01

  Am I on Find, do you have me on your Find Your Friends?

• 5:52Speaker 02

  No, but I'd love to have you on that.

• 5:54Speaker 01

  Why don't you have that?

• 5:55Speaker 02

  Because I know where you are. I know where you are.

• 5:59Speaker 01

  I don't know where I am.

• 5:59Speaker 02

  I have, I have...

• 6:01Speaker 00

  You told us that you were going to Marbella.

• 6:04Speaker 02

  Yeah. And I know the hotel you're in.

• 6:08Speaker 01

  Okay, fine.

• 6:09Speaker 00

  Not only do we know, all the listeners also know where you are. Everybody knows where you are.

• 6:13Speaker 01

  Fine, fine. Well, God.

• 6:15Speaker 02

  Mrs. Lamb, Lady Lambert.

• 6:21Speaker 02

  You know, she, she's right beside your house today at an art camp.

• 6:24Speaker 01

  Is she?

• 6:25Speaker 02

  She doesn't like going anywhere on her own. And I said, you know what? Joanne lives just over there, so if you get upset, I'll get Auntie Joanne to come over and get you. You'll be fine.

• 6:34Speaker 01

  Did she, and would you, would I, could you tell me what the reaction was?

• 6:39Speaker 02

  She was very happy, she was pleased.

• 6:40Speaker 01

  Was she?

• 6:43Speaker 02

  The bag lady. It's the bag lady, so...

• 6:45Speaker 01

  There you go, the bag lady. Well, I am in Marbella with two school friends who are here on their family holiday. So there's kids, there's seven children, husbands, it's like a whole rigmarole. And so they were like, would you come over and join us? And I said, you know what? I will, I will.

• 7:03Speaker 02

  This sounds eerily familiar to what I asked of you in July, but I won't go there.

• 7:08Speaker 01

  I'm gonna get, remember in July, now I was trying to bed into the new house?

• 7:12Speaker 02

  Eerily familiar, but that's okay.

• 7:14Speaker 01

  Remember I was trying to bed in?

• 7:15Speaker 02

  I know. Listen, I know where I am in your list of priorities.

• 7:18Speaker 01

  Trying to bed in.

• 7:19Speaker 02

  I hope their children are monsters.

• 7:22Speaker 01

  Well, they're actually not.

• 7:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, but they're older, right, they were monsters, okay?

• 7:27Speaker 01

  So they were like, would you come over? And I said, you know what, I will, I'll dip in and dip out. And my friend Ash was like, you can stay in R. And I said, no, no, no. No, no. No, no, no, no. I'll stay up, I'll up the road in the hotel.

• 7:42Speaker 02

  Where you have your own piece of quiet.

• 7:42Speaker 01

  Yeah. And I'll dip in and out, and I have been dipping in and out. And it's very domestic, there's like beach chairs and sandy sandwiches and, you know, kind of like lilos and like crying. And it's all very family orientated. But a couple of things I've noticed with kids, you cannot take your eyes off them.

• 8:01Speaker 02

  I know.

• 8:02Speaker 01

  Especially when they're on lilas and the sea. Two, they love to be buried.

• 8:08Speaker 02

  Yes, they do.

• 8:10Speaker 01

  It's like a fucking construction site. I was gonna bring a cement mixer down today. And parents love them being buried because then they're, I was like, and the kids just want to be buried. And then they sit there and they're just, they're just delighted to be buried. And they can't go anywhere. And then the parents like wet the sand, it makes it heavier. And it's actually been really, really lovely, but I'm dipping in and dipping out.

• 8:30Speaker 02

  I know, but digging holes is really good exercise. And when you're out there digging holes, no one ever really lies on their stomach to somebody, they just don't. So when you're digging the hole, your back's getting tanned. So you're actually, they're enjoying it, you're enjoying it, we're all happy.

• 8:44Speaker 01

  But I had to be careful because I tend to take things a little too far. So when the kid was like, bury me, bury me, and I, I didn't want the parents to come back and there'd just be like six straws coming out of the sand. No, like six straws, and I've just like buried them up and they're like trying to breathe through the sand through like scuba gear. So I was very respectful, I just put them into their necks. But then they're just happy sitting there in mounds, it's gas. Anyway, go on, were you gonna say something about beach life?

• 9:05Speaker 02

  Sorry, I was gonna go grief gazetti, but I'm not going to tell you that story. Continue, it's much happier what we're talking about.

• 9:11Speaker 01

  Is it about someone getting buried alive? Good morning.

• 9:14Speaker 02

  It's about...

• 9:16Speaker 01

  Good morning.

• 9:16Speaker 02

  An accident, an accident that occurred. Once you're far away from the shoreline, doesn't matter. You're far away from the shoreline, it's okay.

• 9:24Speaker 02

  Well, the sea, if the sea comes in, it's a real issue.

• 9:26Speaker 01

  Oh, sorry, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I had an eye, I had an eye. I was, you know, I was parenting, like I have been all summer.

• 9:35Speaker 02

  All summer, yeah.

• 9:36Speaker 01

  All summer. But the other thing I was gonna say was, I have been, and Vogue, you'll know this,

• 9:44Speaker 01

  bitten alive by mosquitoes. Like, I look like Braille, like my entire back, stomach, legs, places. I don't even know how they got in there. Like, I look like Pebbledash, right? And, because I woke up one night and I heard this zzzz in my ear, and I, I thought it was a blue bottle, because I'm from Ireland. And so I was just like, sort of swatting it away, and I didn't realise I was an all-for-one, like, all-you-can-eat buffet for the entire night. I'd say they were bringing in friends and family, they're like, this bitch won't wake up. So I went to the chemist, and I mean, like, it's actually kind of bad. And, um, I said to the chemist, like, what's the crack? Like, why am I getting eaten?

• 10:25Speaker 01

  And he's like, oh, well, it's usually to do with, um, alcohol or, uh, scent.

• 10:33Speaker 02

  Alcohol, but if you have gin and tonic, the quinine in the tonic is meant to stop them, so you should switch drinks to gin and tonic. That's what Gina says, my Auntie Gina.

• 10:42Speaker 01

  It's not the drink. I'm Ryan Victoria Beckham, that's what it is. It's nothing to do with the booze. I was like, the fucking booze? Everyone drinks on holidays. They're just like, I'd say they're all pissed. Also, it's only the women that bite, and then they use the blood to lay eggs. So I am basically like that Dutch guy who fucking had 2,000 kids on, remember the sperm downer guy?

• 11:03Speaker 02

  Yeah. No, I think he was from...

• 11:06Speaker 01

  Germany?

• 11:07Speaker 02

  Copenhagen, now? Well, you wish.

• 11:09Speaker 01

  Jonathan Jacobmeiger.

• 11:10Speaker 02

  Once they get one bite out of you, they kind of go back for more and more and more. And are you leaving your window open or something?

• 11:16Speaker 01

  They're on the tip of my nose. They're like, they're up my ass. They're on my ass cheek. I mean, I was being spun around like a spit roast pig.

• 11:25Speaker 02

  I think that's something else.

• 11:28Speaker 01

  But they're not like up my, you know what I mean? They're just like on the cheeks, I would say. On the cheeks.

• 11:33Speaker 02

  Oh, no. There's nothing worse than being a spot bomb.

• 11:36Speaker 01

  I'm scratching like a child with the mumps. It's so sore.

• 11:42Speaker 02

  I wouldn't like that myself now.

• 11:43Speaker 01

  No, and I'm worried it's gonna scar now.

• 11:46Speaker 02

  Do you know what's worse than mosquito bites? Imagine you had bedbugs or something. Oh, they are like, they are torturous. I got them once in Paris.

• 11:55Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 11:55Speaker 02

  But not the time, not the time that there was an outbreak in Paris, another time in Paris. It's like crabs, if you get crabs, but crabs are not, um, they're not really, you don't hear much about crabs anymore. And it's because of our grooming, I think. So like, everyone's grooming so much that the crabs have nowhere to live. So you, you...

• 12:13Speaker 01

  They're dying out.

• 12:15Speaker 02

  I haven't heard of a case of crabs in, well, I suppose nobody would tell you really, would they? I've got crabs.

• 12:20Speaker 01

  I like the name Gary.

• 12:21Speaker 02

  That's my baby name. We're having a boy. I, I said it on my vlog, we're having a boy, and his name is gonna be Gary. Gary Keith. Gary Keith Neil.

• 12:31Speaker 01

  Noel.

• 12:32Speaker 02

  Batter, uh, Battersea, I meant.

• 12:36Speaker 01

  Gary Keith Noel, scratch cooker.

• 12:41Speaker 02

  Gary, Gary Keith Noel, what was that? When you said cooking videos?

• 12:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, Gary Ke, Gary Keith, scratch cooking videos.

• 12:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's his name.

• 12:50Speaker 01

  Would you not just fuck it up and call him Brendan? Do you know what I mean? Or like Kevin?

• 12:54Speaker 02

  What's wrong with Gary? I'm trying to bring Gary back.

• 12:56Speaker 01

  Sorry. You're such an activist.

• 13:06Speaker 02

  Would you like to do an email?

• 13:08Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 13:09Speaker 02

  Dear Joan and Vogue, I'm looking for a bit of big sister advice from both of you. I'm a 35-year-old female, chronically single, with the ongoing misfortune of being attracted to the male species.

• 13:19Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 13:19Speaker 02

  I know. I, I, I'm currently feeling the onset of a bit of a midlife crisis, because although I know I've been successful in life, I have a good career, my own house, my own car, I'm financially independent, et cetera. I somehow still feel like I failed at achieving the one thing that actually matters to me: human connection. Somehow, oh, somehow I have managed to maintain the grand total of zero friends, which when written down, I know, that's really sad, which when written down feels slightly more concerning than when I say it out loud. I do have an amazing family who I love dearly, but they're all on a completely different life trajectory to me. They've settled down, have young families and very busy lives. I love spending time with them, but I also quite enjoy going back to my own house afterwards

• 14:02Speaker 02

  and enjoying the peace and quiet. So it's not that I'm sitting in a dark room crying into a glass of wine every night. I actually really enjoy my own company. But then there's this horrible little thought that creeps in. What if I end up being a lonely old woman? No friends, no kids, no husband. Nobody calling around for a cup of tea, nobody to take me to hospital, nobody to wipe my arse when I'm 87, and I've finally reached the stage where dignity has left the building. And that thought genuinely scares me.

• 14:31Speaker 02

  I've been pretty certain that children weren't for me. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore my nieces and nephews. I'm very happy being the cool, fun auntie who can return them when they become annoying. In fact, they've probably been the best form of contraception I've ever needed. Cross my legs, time I choose, absolutely no, thank you. But recently, I've found myself thinking about it a little more. I've even considered the surrogacy route, because the thought of actually being pregnant terrifies me. But there is this tiny part of me that wonders what a little mini me would be like. And Joan, I swear, some of the jokes you make in the pod feel like I'm somehow climbed inside, you've somehow climbed inside my brain and started reading out my inner monologue.

• 15:09Speaker 01

  I was gonna say, I could have literally written this email myself. This is word for, this is like, this is exactly how I feel.

• 15:19Speaker 02

  Okay, I'll finish it and then we'll, yeah, see what we can say. Okay. Because beneath all the jokes, there is a genuine sadness that I've spent so much of my life missing out on things I'd love to experience, simply because they're more enjoyable or sometimes just more socially acceptable with two people. Holidays, concerts, nice dinner, nice dinners, random weekends away. I've been dying to go to the penophile tour, for example, but then I think, who am I gonna go with? And the reality is, if I want to experience these things, I'm probably going to have to go by myself. And perhaps that's what I'm struggling with most. I don't want to spend the next 35 years waiting for a partner or a friendship group to arrive before I allow myself to actually live my life. If I want to go somewhere, I need to go. If I want to see something, I need to see it. If I want to go on holiday, I need to book the bloody holiday. But here's the voice in my head saying, going alone is a bit sad, isn't it?

• 16:04Speaker 02

  So Joan and Vogue, I don't think so. I suppose the advice I'm looking for is, am I a weirdo? Or more importantly, how do I make peace with the fact that my life doesn't currently look anything like I thought it would at 35? Without convincing myself that I've somehow failed at life, how do I stop waiting for the husband, the friendship group, the two-person life to arrive before I give myself permission to enjoy the one I've actually got? And please tell me, I'm not the only 35-year-old woman contemplating going to a penophile tour alone and wondering, is this where my life has gone? Love, a chronically single woman. Let me try and get this, I can't, I can't see the end.

• 16:40Speaker 01

  I don't think that's any reflection on you.

• 16:41Speaker 02

  No, I'm not. No.

• 16:43Speaker 01

  The way you're saying it, there's like, could it get, could I get any lower? And here I am, on my lower dead.

• 16:48Speaker 02

  Wanted to go to penophile on my own. I mean, could it ever have had any worth?

• 16:54Speaker 02

  Um, I obviously am coming from a different position, because I have a family and a husband and all those kind of things. But if I'm really honest with you, sometimes I feel like other people are outliving their life and doing all these amazing things. Like, I even look at you, Joan, and I'm like, God, she's always doing so many fun things, she's always got so many people around her, she's always, and like, and I just don't have that, because, like, and with my friends, I'm always like, are you guys just always hanging out with each other? Like, do you see each other all the time? Because they're in Ireland. And they're like, no, we don't see each other all the time. And the reality is that not everybody is spending these huge amounts of time together that you think they are. And you always think that you're missing out on something. Like, I feel like sometimes I'm missing out on stuff, because

• 17:37Speaker 02

  I have so much stuff around the kids and everything like that, that they just kind of take up my whole life. And sometimes I worry that when they grow up, or when, like, who am I gonna ring? That's why I always say to you, who am I gonna ring? I look at my phone, I ring Amber all the time, I ring my mom all the time.

• 17:50Speaker 01

  You can't ring me. I started, I, I answer calls now.

• 17:54Speaker 02

  I know you do. But when you come back...

• 17:56Speaker 01

  I do.

• 17:57Speaker 02

  But it's not even just that. It's because, like, you're busy, though. Like, you've got work.

• 18:01Speaker 01

  I just need a, I just need a heads up. Just need a heads up, because you were getting...

• 18:05Speaker 02

  I'll be calling, I'll be calling you 15.

• 18:06Speaker 01

  You were just raw dogging it regularly, and I, I said, I just need a little warning.

• 18:11Speaker 02

  This bitch has got to back up. But I'm just trying to say that, like, you probably think that you're doing, like, missing out on things and doing less than other people, when actually, people are doing less than you think that they're doing. Because everyone's life is so full of other things and work and, and different

• 18:29Speaker 02

  things that they have going on, whether it be family or friends or anything like that, that you, that you're actually not. And people aren't doing as much as you think that they're doing.

• 18:36Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well, I, having been away, even where I am at the moment, with my friends, who've got kids and stuff, so obviously, this email, I mean, like I say, I could have written them myself. No, I am, I am lucky in the sense that I have managed to keep friendships. But that hasn't, that hasn't always been easy. Like, I've had to kind of work at friendships. I've had to try and bring people back in, or I feel I've drifted. People have brought me back in that think that I've drifted. There is a very much an intentional, um, what would I say, work going into friendships now, about nourishing friendships and keeping friendships and all that kind of stuff. Because I was actually speaking to someone about this the other day. When I first moved to the UK, my friends from home felt a little bit abandoned. And I was like, I totally understand that. But like, when you're in a new city, you kind of have to put your time into making new friends. Like, you can't be

• 19:20Speaker 01

  relying on your community with people who live in Dublin, you know?

• 19:24Speaker 02

  Hundred percent.

• 19:25Speaker 01

  The friendship thing, I do think the friendship thing is easily fixed. You obviously are a sound, intelligent, fun, smart woman, because you sound like you are.

• 19:32Speaker 02

  Wanna go to penophile.

• 19:34Speaker 01

  And you're ghost, and you're ghost a gal, and you wanna go to penophile. So you're obviously, you've got that going for you. I think there is a, there is, there comes a stage in our life, you're like, okay, I have to actively pursue friendships. And as wanky as this sounds, genuinely, like, it's as simple as, even I am like, I need more friends, friends in my local area, so I'm gonna, you know, that ceramics course, that I did sign up to, but then I couldn't go to class, because I was away.

• 20:00Speaker 01

  And I don't want any judgement for that, because I didn't even get the money back.

• 20:05Speaker 02

  We wouldn't have even, we wouldn't have even known, Joanne, we would have, I assumed it would have been after you'd done the tour.

• 20:11Speaker 01

  Well, I realised when those words were coming out of my mouth, I was like, fuck balls, bollocks.

• 20:14Speaker 00

  You've still got the DIY course that we were gonna sign you up for as well, you were gonna go.

• 20:18Speaker 01

  The what? DIY, there was also another dinner app that came up, this kind of app came up before and I signed up where you go for dinner in your local area with five people you don't know. And I was like, that's a great idea. I signed up for that. I couldn't go in the end.

• 20:35Speaker 01

  Something came up, I had to work.

• 20:36Speaker 02

  But, but it is, there is, and do you know what, and I know this sounds ridiculous, and it's, but it is a different kind of thing to do. Like park run and things like that to get involved in and to, because having friends is great, but also don't think that like, when you have a group of friends, that your life is automatically gonna be stuffed to the brim full of like loads of different things to do, because nobody does anything. Everybody is so busy all the time as well.

• 20:58Speaker 01

  Do you know what I think? And I think it comes down, like as a 43 year old woman, there is, there's a, I think purpose plays a big part in everyone's life at this stage. And you feel like, when you don't have a partner or kids, you feel like people with partners and kids, that they have a bigger sense of purpose or a more, a stronger sense of community or a bigger sense of belonging and they're not as lonely. In the same breath, like shit goes wrong in families all the time. And like, there's that saying, which I'm a big believer in, where if you can find out a way to fill your own cup and then you won't feel, you have to fill your own cup and then whatever comes in around that

• 21:39Speaker 01

  is a bonus and a benefit. But it's not easy. You have to do the fucking work. You have to sign up for the fucking pottery class. You have to do the park run. You have to go and hang out with your mates and their kids on the beach and bury them in the sand and do all that stuff. So you do have a community and belonging, but it doesn't just happen organically anymore. We're not living in little stone villages anymore. And we're apparently we're lonelier and more isolated than ever before in human history. So you have to make a really concerted effort.

• 22:05Speaker 02

  You've gotta get, yeah, you've gotta get yourself out there. But as well as the thing that you were saying about doing things in, in couples and how they should be done in couples. Like my auntie used to feel like that, like, oh, well, I'm not in a couple, so I shouldn't do, like, but my aunties, two of my aunties are single. They come away at me all the time. They're always out for dinner with us. Like, it's just, no one thinks like that. It doesn't matter if you're in a couple or not. Like, it's, it's you who people wanna hang out with. It's not like, oh no, we need a two, we need a two. No one needs a two.

• 22:32Speaker 01

  I'm past that.

• 22:32Speaker 02

  I'd rather not have a two, please.

• 22:35Speaker 01

  I used to have that feeling of like, oh, I, you know, if I'm on my own, I felt with spare, because it does feel like the world is wired for pairs. I've moved past that now. I had to, because otherwise I would just sit in my house the whole time. Now I take great pride in it. I'm like, you can sit me in the middle of the restaurant. I don't actually give a shit anymore. Before I'd go to a restaurant, but I'd like sit me at the wall. Do you know what I mean? Or like sit me in a corner. Now I'm like, you can sit me on the counter if you want. A fucking strip. Do you know what I mean? Now I don't care anymore. But like, I had to work through that to get to this point, because otherwise life is gonna pass you by. And like, think of the people that spot you in a restaurant, and even if they are like, oh, that woman's on a, they're never gonna think about you again for the rest of their, their lives.

• 23:16Speaker 02

  I'd never walk into a restaurant and see somebody on their own and think, oh, they're on their own. I'd never consider that.

• 23:22Speaker 01

  It's all about the confidence of it all, you know? And as well, like you said, Vogue, there's people looking at this woman's life going, God, she's such, all the freedom that she has. Like, I have that, these conversations with friends of mine with kids, I've had them with you, Vogue, and it's like, everything always, like, it's like, choose your heart. It's hard being, it's hard being in a relationship. It's hard having kids. It's hard not being in a relationship. It's hard not having kids. Just choose your heart and make, make the most of it.

• 23:45Speaker 02

  No. It sounds like you will. It sounds like you will make the most of it, though.

• 23:50Speaker 01

  I also have, I've, I've said this for so long, and also I have, I do struggle with actually getting stuff across the line. But I wanted to set up a single section at tour shows where, and we should do it for our tour as well, Vogue, and, and Penophile, where we sit.

• 24:01Speaker 02

  I love this idea.

• 24:03Speaker 01

  There is like a single section. Look, we won't call it that, because that has a kind of a depressing brand, but it's like, solo goer. Now, that's a bit lame, but you know what I mean? Look, it's a work, I'm brainstorming.

• 24:13Speaker 02

  We're working on the name. A what?

• 24:15Speaker 00

  Mingle section.

• 24:17Speaker 02

  The Mingles, the Minglers. That sounds like the Mingers. It sounds a bit like the Mingers.

• 24:21Speaker 01

  Mingle Pringles, single Mingers, yeah.

• 24:24Speaker 02

  The Mingers.

• 24:29Speaker 01

  No, you're right, Jo, something like that. Because I do get a lot of people asking about going to shows on their own. And while I have no bother doing it, I know that a lot of people do feel self-conscious. You feel self-conscious. But like, without being really depressing about it, we're all gonna be dead really fucking soon.

• 24:46Speaker 02

  Don't worry, that wasn't, that actually wasn't depressing at all. Thanks, Joanne.

• 24:49Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 24:49Speaker 02

  Lovely course. Thank you.

• 24:50Speaker 01

  I said it with, I said it with, I said it with light.

• 24:54Speaker 02

  You did say it with light.

• 24:56Speaker 01

  Like, try not to, you know, try not to reduce your, your life experience, because you're worried what other people will think about what you're doing with your life. Because they'll all be dead soon as well. And all those couples you're seeing, they're probably having affairs.

• 25:07Speaker 02

  Dead. All of them dead. Yeah, dead. Dead, lonely.

• 25:12Speaker 01

  Or dead.

• 25:15Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 25:16Speaker 02

  Well, everyone, thank you so much for listening. That was fantastic.

• 25:18Speaker 01

  Also.

• 25:21Speaker 02

  Are we gonna leave her again on her own for a while?

• 25:23Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, you've had a, I've had a third free arena.

• 25:28Speaker 01

  We're gonna start putting the shit up.

• 25:29Speaker 02

  Fucking Che, Jo, fucking Cheek, or who does she think she is? I don't know. And as you, Joanne, I'm gonna be coming in, I'm coming in, I'm coming in to ask for my tickets. It's happening soon. I'm just gonna pick a date.

• 25:41Speaker 01

  Vogue, you can fuck off with tickets. You're doing the lights at this point. If you think you're getting tickets for all three gigs.

• 25:47Speaker 02

  I don't, I only want one.

• 25:49Speaker 01

  No, you'll be, you'll be pumping me out of the can, because I'm gonna get, I'm gonna get, I'm gonna get shot out at the end. It's gonna be you with the foot pedal.

• 25:57Speaker 01

  Oh, she goes, woo.

• 25:59Speaker 02

  Oh, it's so exciting. So they're on sale now. They went on sale on, I think it's the.

• 26:06Speaker 01

  So, third arena, 4th of December, 2026. Tickets on general sale now. When does this come out, Jo?

• 26:12Speaker 00

  On Wednesday, the 19th of August.

• 26:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're on sale.

• 26:15Speaker 00

  They are on sale on Thursday, the 20th of August.

• 26:18Speaker 02

  I'll be selling the, I'll be selling the merch out front.

• 26:23Speaker 01

  You'll be doing, there is no more.

• 26:24Speaker 02

  She's, she's, I know, there's not, well, I'll be selling the bags.

• 26:27Speaker 01

  You're selling your tan.

• 26:28Speaker 02

  I'll be selling, I'll be selling bags, bags and bear out front. It's called the Bags and Bear Stand. So I'll see you there.

• 26:34Speaker 01

  Doing a tanning display on Gigi.

• 26:40Speaker 02

  I'm just gonna come up on stage and just try and get my tan in somehow. It's, you just need a little bit of hydrating mist, hydrating mist.

• 26:45Speaker 01

  Pop up like Katy Perry in the middle.

• 26:48Speaker 02

  For fuck's sake. Well, we're very proud.

• 26:50Speaker 01

  I can have nothing. Whack a mole, just like whacking her back down.

• 26:55Speaker 01

  I just want a bit of time by myself.

• 26:57Speaker 02

  Oh, okay. Goodbye, everybody.

• 27:04Speaker 03

  This has been a global production.