The Problem With The London Eye

The major flaw in the London Eye experience, can you be allergic to big cats and what is the best s*x position are all comprehensively covered in this weeks podcast supposedly about facts... GET IN TOUCH: Whatsapp us - wa.me/447822034330 http://wa.me/447822034330 Fill in our Fact Up Form - https://forms.gle/uzF6XWPqaA5aNTtN7 Subscribe on Youtube - www.youtube.com/@JoeandJamesPod/videos http://www.youtube.com/@JoeandJamesPod/videos Follow us on Instagram - www.instagram.com/joeandjamespod http://www.instagram.com/joeandjamespod Follow us on TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@joeandjamespod http://www.tiktok.com/@joeandjamespod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:33Speaker 01

  Hey, I'm Pablo Torre, host of Pablo Torre Finds Out, and I have chased down a lot of strange stories, but nothing quite like what's inside a McDonald's Quarter Pounder with cheese. Hundred percent fresh beef, cooked right when you order it, hand-topped onions, plus cheese and pickles in every bite. And right now, you can get one with medium fries and a drink for just eight dollars, only at McDonald's. For a limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska and California. And for delivery, fresh beef not available in Alaska and Hawaii. Offer not valid for delivery.

• 1:13Speaker 02

  Oh, right, right. Well, go on then, Queen Lily Mae.

• 1:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:18Speaker 04

  Genius, genius, queen Lily Mae.

• 1:20Speaker 02

  Seems like your podcast.

• 1:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, but the thing is, I could just edit out anything.

• 1:26Speaker 02

  You're the genius.

• 1:26Speaker 03

  I don't want to keep in, so.

• 1:30Speaker 02

  Do you edit yourself out?

• 1:32Speaker 03

  I try, well, I don't actually have the say on the edit as much as I used to, but I would edit myself out more.

• 1:39Speaker 02

  You've been demoted.

• 1:40Speaker 03

  I've not been, I've been promoted, actually.

• 1:42Speaker 02

  Oh, now you're too good, you're too big, good, good for us. Is that what's happening? You've outgrown us.

• 1:46Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:47Speaker 02

  So you've used us.

• 1:51Speaker 03

  No, I used to edit the podcast.

• 1:53Speaker 04

  So now you're sort of phoning it in a lot more now, are you?

• 1:55Speaker 03

  Yes, exactly.

• 1:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, okay.

• 1:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:57Speaker 04

  Not as bothered.

• 1:58Speaker 02

  She's got bigger and better things to be getting on with.

• 2:00Speaker 04

  Sort of more of a paper captain now.

• 2:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:02Speaker 02

  Do you work on Sextid?

• 2:05Speaker 03

  I don't work on Sextid, no.

• 2:06Speaker 02

  Oh, you're not got that big yet then.

• 2:07Speaker 03

  No, exactly. They're keeping me humble.

• 2:09Speaker 02

  Jesus Christ.

• 2:10Speaker 03

  Yeah. I think it was a trial when the boys came in.

• 2:14Speaker 02

  It's a completely different atmosphere down the corridor, by the way.

• 2:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, they like each other, don't they?

• 2:17Speaker 02

  They're all running around making sure that they've got everything that they need.

• 2:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:21Speaker 02

  But yeah, oh my God, they're, they're, honestly, they were, I was surprised there wasn't a red carpet rolled out the front of their studio.

• 2:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:30Speaker 02

  They just had that whole new studio built and everything.

• 2:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're, they're having a real.

• 2:35Speaker 02

  Is that the, um?

• 2:36Speaker 04

  I suppose they're, they're making serious money though, I guess. So that's, that, do you know what I mean?

• 2:42Speaker 02

  Are they?

• 2:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:43Speaker 04

  Well, they've been.

• 2:44Speaker 02

  From where?

• 2:45Speaker 03

  From podcasts.

• 2:46Speaker 04

  Well, they, well, so, well, well.

• 2:48Speaker 03

  They made a board game.

• 2:49Speaker 02

  They made a board game?

• 2:50Speaker 03

  Yep. And they, and they've done some really big live shows and they livestreamed the show within the cinema. They did a cinema release of an episode.

• 2:57Speaker 02

  Imagine if we had that sort of support.

• 2:58Speaker 04

  Tragic.

• 2:59Speaker 02

  How big this could be.

• 3:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:01Speaker 04

  Yeah. I just hope, because I mean, they are, are they overspending? I mean, are they?

• 3:07Speaker 02

  Are they, um, Guns N' Roses on tour?

• 3:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, and I mean, is it, because is it actually coming out of their pot or is it coming out of our pot? Do you know what I mean? Like.

• 3:16Speaker 02

  Are we propping them up? That's the question.

• 3:18Speaker 04

  I mean, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, yeah, I'm not, I'm, I wouldn't use, I wouldn't, you know, I wouldn't use that language, but.

• 3:26Speaker 02

  Yeah. But are we down here working?

• 3:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 3:30Speaker 02

  While they're getting fat off the profits is what I want to know.

• 3:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 3:33Speaker 03

  And all they could afford with the petty cash as a producer is me. And they don't even trust me to edit anymore.

• 3:39Speaker 02

  Right.

• 3:39Speaker 03

  Yeah. So I just wanted a bit of praise in the last episode, because.

• 3:44Speaker 04

  Well, no, you made that clear and again, it was so, it was subtitled genius.

• 3:48Speaker 03

  Well, that's, that's going to be the name of the episode, I think. Yeah. The real genius behind, backed up, yeah.

• 3:53Speaker 04

  Yeah. The Grey Eminence.

• 3:55Speaker 02

  Look at you. Are you vying for the job? Are you vying for the Sextid job? Is that what's going on here?

• 3:59Speaker 03

  I've been trying to get off this from day one.

• 4:00Speaker 02

  We're just a stepping stone.

• 4:01Speaker 04

  I don't, yeah.

• 4:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, hundred percent. And some of the comments are.

• 4:08Speaker 04

  Well, you don't.

• 4:09Speaker 02

  Can you take me with you?

• 4:10Speaker 04

  Well, no, hold on.

• 4:11Speaker 03

  But it's, it's going to be enough of our job getting me on there.

• 4:14Speaker 02

  It's every man's for himself a little bit, Joe. It would be nice.

• 4:17Speaker 04

  No honor among peas.

• 4:18Speaker 02

  To be fair, and I slagged them off, it would be nice to be on a podcast that people listen to.

• 4:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:24Speaker 04

  I don't, I mean, I quite like, I don't want a large audience.

• 4:28Speaker 02

  No.

• 4:34Speaker 04

  I, so it was my daughter's fourth birthday party.

• 4:37Speaker 02

  Four?

• 4:38Speaker 04

  Four, yeah, can't believe it.

• 4:40Speaker 02

  That's nuts. I'm supposed to be your mate and I've not met your daughter. That's really bad for me.

• 4:45Speaker 04

  No, it's slack from me. I feel like we've been a bit overwhelmed with the move and just everything else.

• 4:52Speaker 02

  I thought you were going to say the moon.

• 4:54Speaker 04

  The moon, well, the moon overwhelms me. I mean, I just honestly, that crater.

• 4:57Speaker 02

  Just don't know. It's there every night.

• 4:59Speaker 04

  You know what? I was having a thought about how like, craters on a planet are like, like, they're like young trauma. They're like, if you have trauma early in your life, it has time to become a feature of your personality and to become beautiful.

• 5:15Speaker 02

  That's too deep.

• 5:16Speaker 04

  Whereas if you get cratered later in life, there's nothing you can do. You're like, well, it's too, do you know what I mean? So like, like.

• 5:22Speaker 02

  No, Joe, that's, that's far too deep and thoughtful.

• 5:25Speaker 04

  You want to be, you want to be, you want to be an old Galapagos Island, not a newly formed one. Because if it's a newly formed one, it's just loads of lava and it's all raw. And like, if you haven't got the time to, to grow some greenery over it, it's just going to look like that until you die. Whereas if you have, so I always think all these planets, they all have craters in them,

• 5:42Speaker 04

  which is when something hit them and the moon has it and, um, so does Earth, I think, was hit by something.

• 5:50Speaker 02

  Yeah. I'm sorry to have brought up the moon.

• 5:54Speaker 04

  It was funny, you brought up the moon and actually what's funny, it did, I think it actually, it sort of did, it sort of did overwhelm me.

• 6:02Speaker 02

  Anyway.

• 6:03Speaker 04

  But, but, yeah, yeah.

• 6:04Speaker 02

  Talk about your daughter's birthday.

• 6:05Speaker 04

  So, um, so, um, my daughter's birthday was, um, in the park and.

• 6:18Speaker 02

  I thought you were going to say in the past then.

• 6:21Speaker 04

  In the pub, it was in the pub, in the past, it wasn't in the past.

• 6:24Speaker 02

  I was just doing another thing to see if you'd go off on a.

• 6:26Speaker 04

  Oh, no.

• 6:27Speaker 02

  Talking about the past. What I think about the past is.

• 6:30Speaker 04

  No.

• 6:31Speaker 02

  Gone, little daughter's birthday in the park.

• 6:34Speaker 04

  And.

• 6:35Speaker 02

  Would you play rounders or something?

• 6:36Speaker 04

  No, we had some people who came and did like, uh, essentially like a play.

• 6:43Speaker 02

  Hang on a minute.

• 6:44Speaker 04

  And entertainers, we had some like actual.

• 6:47Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 6:47Speaker 04

  Drama.

• 6:48Speaker 02

  So it wasn't just like you and your family and stuff and just like.

• 6:51Speaker 04

  No, we actually had some, we had some people.

• 6:53Speaker 02

  You used the park as a venue.

• 6:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:55Speaker 02

  To stage your daughter's.

• 6:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:58Speaker 02

  The public park?

• 6:59Speaker 04

  The public highway, yeah. No, I, I did, um, and.

• 7:04Speaker 02

  That's a bit cheeky.

• 7:05Speaker 04

  Well, no, I, lots of people.

• 7:07Speaker 02

  What if I wanted to walk my dog or something?

• 7:08Speaker 04

  We were just off in one corner. You, it wouldn't have been in the way of anything. We were like in, and there were only about like six or seven other children there.

• 7:18Speaker 04

  I was, quite a lot of people couldn't come, but then actually it turned out that.

• 7:24Speaker 02

  It was the kids putting them off.

• 7:30Speaker 02

  So that little boy stopped staring at me.

• 7:33Speaker 04

  No, it was, it was, um.

• 7:35Speaker 02

  It'd have the opposite effect.

• 7:39Speaker 04

  Oh, it was, um, it was, it was really good. And we had some people they put on, so we, what they, the, the group that did it, they, they do like a play, like they're like, probably they're like actors or something.

• 7:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:58Speaker 04

  And they, you, you give them a theme and my daughter's theme was monkeys.

• 8:03Speaker 02

  Right. She loves the zoo.

• 8:05Speaker 04

  Loves the zoo, obviously. I mean, yeah, I've sort of almost, I've sort of forced that down her throat.

• 8:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:12Speaker 04

  It's monkeys, it's.

• 8:12Speaker 02

  One day she'll realise there's other things apart from the zoo.

• 8:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:16Speaker 02

  That's going to blow her mind.

• 8:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:20Speaker 02

  So.

• 8:20Speaker 04

  But I don't want that day, I don't want that day to come.

• 8:23Speaker 02

  So.

• 8:24Speaker 04

  So, and then they, they put on a little, and so what they say, what they do is that they, they then build an adventure around, around that theme.

• 8:34Speaker 02

  Right.

• 8:34Speaker 04

  And it was really, it was really, and it was to do with a lost monkey. And the children kind of participate in the play and they, they go around different areas and like, there's different activities.

• 8:45Speaker 02

  So it's like a little immersive.

• 8:46Speaker 04

  It's like a little immersive play.

• 8:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:47Speaker 04

  It was lovely. It was really good.

• 8:49Speaker 02

  It does sound sweet.

• 8:50Speaker 04

  And, um, we made a cake.

• 8:54Speaker 04

  Hannah, Hannah's recipe for the cake had two kilograms of butter.

• 9:01Speaker 04

  She didn't actually use all of it. I think she might have overestimated or something, but we had lots of butter left over, which is good.

• 9:10Speaker 02

  My God, Joe.

• 9:12Speaker 04

  Is this all right?

• 9:14Speaker 02

  The wheels fell off of that quite quickly, didn't they?

• 9:17Speaker 03

  Oh, God.

• 9:18Speaker 02

  And what, did you throw away a ladder that day as well?

• 9:23Speaker 04

  I'm not good when I, when I, when I plan to talk about something.

• 9:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know, you wanted to talk about it.

• 9:28Speaker 04

  Well, no, let me mainstream you because you said, is there anything you want to talk about in the cold open? And I said, all right, I'll talk about my daughter's birthday party. But actually, what did you want me to say? It was a children's birthday party.

• 9:37Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 9:38Speaker 03

  Oh, and it's my fault as well.

• 9:39Speaker 04

  It's not your fault. I'm just like, I felt like it was a, you asked me to talk and I'm saying it was a hospital pass.

• 9:46Speaker 03

  I'm never going to get to Sextid now, am I?

• 9:48Speaker 04

  Oh, Jesus.

• 9:50Speaker 02

  No, you're down it.

• 9:51Speaker 03

  Shot me right in it.

• 9:52Speaker 02

  You're not allowed to go anyway. I'm going to make sure.

• 9:58Speaker 02

  Can you give us anything to jump off of? Have you got any questions? Have you got anything like, oh, from last week or whatever? I don't know. I thought that's what you were going to do. I thought you were saying, have you got anything you want to talk about? And then Joe went, I'll talk about my daughter's birthday. Because I thought you were going to go, because.

• 10:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:17Speaker 04

  Oh, I see.

• 10:17Speaker 02

  You can talk about this, but that wasn't the case.

• 10:19Speaker 03

  No, because that's.

• 10:19Speaker 02

  You're never, you're never going to Sextid.

• 10:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly.

• 10:22Speaker 02

  You're never getting to Sextid. Sextid, you'd be chewed up and spat out up in Sextid.

• 10:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, because they've got the follow-up questions. That's your feedback, is it?

• 10:33Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 10:33Speaker 04

  I think basically it was, it was.

• 10:35Speaker 03

  Well, have you got any?

• 10:36Speaker 04

  No, basically, okay, so I would say, the reason, the reason I wanted to talk about it is because it's almost the first thing that Hannah and I have actually like successfully organised. It was, it was.

• 10:45Speaker 02

  Sounds like you had too much butter left over though, Joe.

• 10:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, you had loads of butter, Joe.

• 10:48Speaker 04

  Well, that's not really, that's, you know, that.

• 10:50Speaker 02

  What did you do with all the butter? That's all, that's what we want to know.

• 10:52Speaker 04

  Well, I'll get through it, I'll get through it. I mean, it's gone now. I mean, so, I, I, so, um, no, I suppose it was just, I think we were just quite pleased with the fact that we'd managed to actually organise something. It was, it honestly like almost killed us for like the week we were trying to organise it. It was like trying to get some people together to go to a place where there's going to be a bit of food and a cake.

• 11:19Speaker 02

  When did you start organising this?

• 11:22Speaker 02

  The week before.

• 11:24Speaker 04

  I'm gonna say 10 days is maybe not enough. And also, this was actually, I mean, a lot, a lot of people were away.

• 11:34Speaker 02

  You waited until 10 days before the fact. The venue was just the park.

• 11:38Speaker 04

  Mm hmm.

• 11:39Speaker 02

  That's the main bit.

• 11:43Speaker 02

  How was you overwhelmed, Joe?

• 11:47Speaker 02

  Was it the butter? Was it, there was a cake, you made a cake, made a cake, went to the park.

• 11:52Speaker 04

  I, I, I don't know. I, I am.

• 11:57Speaker 02

  I'm on your side here. I'm just playing devil's advocate, but it sounds to me.

• 12:01Speaker 04

  I find it hard, I find, I find organising things.

• 12:04Speaker 02

  I know that.

• 12:05Speaker 04

  Difficult and, and, and so does Hannah. And so there's nowhere.

• 12:08Speaker 02

  You're not organised.

• 12:09Speaker 04

  No, I'm not, no, I'm not organised. Um.

• 12:14Speaker 04

  Uh.

• 12:16Speaker 02

  And I'm not having a go.

• 12:17Speaker 04

  It, it, it was, it was a nice, it was a nice afternoon.

• 12:22Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 12:22Speaker 04

  Um.

• 12:25Speaker 04

  But afterwards, we almost had to take like a week off because it drained us so much.

• 12:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, finding the park.

• 12:31Speaker 04

  Well, the park, so the venue was just a place. It was just like, go here at a certain time.

• 12:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:36Speaker 04

  Trying to organise, I don't know, seven or eight kids and like their parents.

• 12:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:42Speaker 04

  To go to the park at a certain time. I felt like I'd organised Glastonbury or something. I really, it was.

• 12:51Speaker 02

  That says a lot about you.

• 12:52Speaker 04

  It does. I know it does. Um, we, the cake seemed to, the cake seemed to take Hannah about like two full days.

• 13:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:02Speaker 04

  To make. And it was like, we'd chosen like the simplest cake recipe. It was just a, like a pink cake.

• 13:08Speaker 02

  Right.

• 13:08Speaker 04

  Um. I wasn't even there. We were late. We were late. And my, but all my, all my brothers came, which was really nice because they obviously, they know my daughter as well. They're her uncles.

• 13:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:21Speaker 04

  And, um, that's how families work. And, um, we say uncle in my culture.

• 13:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:28Speaker 04

  An uncle is a brother of the child's father.

• 13:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:32Speaker 04

  Um, so for example, my brothers are her uncles. And before I got there.

• 13:41Speaker 04

  Uh.

• 13:42Speaker 02

  Honestly, you sound like you're trying to explain upstairs, downstairs.

• 13:46Speaker 02

  New game.

• 13:48Speaker 04

  There's, there's, there is, there's a tendency in my family to explain, and it comes to my dad, to explain things that don't need to be explained.

• 13:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:57Speaker 04

  I don't know why my dad does. He's very sweet. He's, he's a teacher, he's a retired teacher. So I think he's quite used to people not listening to him and having to explain, re-explain every concept every single time. But he does it to his sons. And in my culture, the son is, the son is the word we give to the male children of, of the father. And, um.

• 14:18Speaker 02

  Or mother.

• 14:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, or mother.

• 14:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:21Speaker 04

  In my culture, we, we, we just say.

• 14:25Speaker 02

  There are no mothers.

• 14:26Speaker 04

  There are no mothers. No, we say.

• 14:29Speaker 02

  They're sacrificed.

• 14:30Speaker 04

  Yeah. Um, uh. So he, so, so, um, he's explained like Greg.

• 14:38Speaker 02

  They keep living in the middle.

• 14:39Speaker 04

  My brother Greg said that, um.

• 14:40Speaker 02

  Marmite.

• 14:43Speaker 04

  My brother Greg said that the other day, my dad explained to him, um, how to, sort of how to deal with a mango. Like Greg's 40.

• 14:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:55Speaker 04

  And, and, and dad said, um, the thing about mangoes is that they've got a, they've got a pretty big stone in the middle, but actually the, the flesh outside is lovely and sweet. And Greg was like, yeah, I know what a mango is.

• 15:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:07Speaker 04

  Um, and, um, another time, me and, me and Greg, again, one of my brothers, we were visiting some people in London. And my dad was telling us like where they lived. And he said, okay, so when you get to the address, um, the front door, the front door, boys, it's not on the,

• 15:30Speaker 04

  it's not on the street level. You have to go, there, there, there are some stairs. It's one of those houses where there's stairs up to the door. We were like, okay.

• 15:36Speaker 02

  Steps.

• 15:37Speaker 04

  Steps, yeah. We're like, okay. And he went, so obviously when you get there, just, just go up the steps. We were like, yeah, no, yeah, yeah, we know. Yeah. So it's that.

• 15:46Speaker 02

  All right. So I see. I get it now.

• 15:48Speaker 04

  Do you see what I mean? He, so he will, he will explain things.

• 15:50Speaker 02

  I get it now.

• 15:50Speaker 04

  He, yeah.

• 15:51Speaker 02

  Your brother's got any kids?

• 15:53Speaker 04

  Yes, so.

• 15:54Speaker 02

  So you're an uncle as well?

• 15:55Speaker 04

  I'm an uncle too. So Greg, Greg has, um.

• 15:58Speaker 02

  No, it's fine.

• 16:00Speaker 04

  Greg has a son.

• 16:01Speaker 03

  You know what? It's really hard planning things, isn't it? Like parties, podcasts. It can be really hard.

• 16:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:06Speaker 04

  Right, Lily, mate, I'm not, sorry.

• 16:11Speaker 04

  This, this is unbelievable. We're like.

• 16:13Speaker 03

  I'm symp-, I'm, I'm sympathising.

• 16:15Speaker 04

  Thank you and everything.

• 16:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:17Speaker 04

  Thank you and everything, I guess.

• 16:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:20Speaker 04

  But.

• 16:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, I'm just saying it's hard sometimes. And sometimes you don't say follow up questions and then you learn for next time.

• 16:27Speaker 02

  I will say.

• 16:27Speaker 04

  Oh, God.

• 16:28Speaker 02

  I don't know, um, I don't know if.

• 16:30Speaker 04

  Anyway, the point is I wasn't there when the party began.

• 16:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:33Speaker 04

  So another one of my brothers, Adam.

• 16:36Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 16:37Speaker 04

  Uncle Adam. So that's the name. When he was born, he was given a name. In this case, Adam.

• 16:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:43Speaker 04

  And normally the parents would choose that. And then that stays with them for life then.

• 16:49Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 16:50Speaker 02

  Unless they want to change it.

• 16:51Speaker 04

  They can change it if they want. Um, so he was there. So it was a bit embarrassing because by the, so by the time I arrived, basically the, the sort of the, the, the entertainers, the people doing the, the play thing.

• 17:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:04Speaker 04

  They were already just setting up. They'd already decided to, they'd actually taken a decision to not do it in the area where I thought they'd do it. They'd moved into the shade. Went over my head.

• 17:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:13Speaker 04

  But good, good decision.

• 17:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:16Speaker 04

  Um, and Adam, my brother Adam, he's actually better at organising things than me. So it felt as though he'd, first of all, he turned up on time.

• 17:22Speaker 02

  I don't think there's anyone worse at organising stuff than you.

• 17:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:26Speaker 02

  Um, yeah, but this really, it was, it was 10 days of pure slog. You had to take a week off afterwards.

• 17:34Speaker 04

  I actually gen- genuinely.

• 17:35Speaker 02

  Because you planned to meet at a park and you turned up late.

• 17:38Speaker 04

  I literally once forgot where I lived.

• 17:41Speaker 02

  I forgot my age once.

• 17:44Speaker 04

  What did you think it was?

• 17:45Speaker 02

  I couldn't remember. I couldn't remember. It was, it was around my birthday and I couldn't work out.

• 17:54Speaker 02

  I couldn't really work out. I. So I do this thing. So I'm 39. I've just turned 39. But if I'm, if I'm making a, if I'm making a point about something, if I'm talking to Claire or something.

• 18:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:05Speaker 02

  I'd be like, come on, look, I'm 40. Don't like, I'm always sort of adding to my age to, to make some sort of point that I'm trying to make. And it got to the, it got to the point where I was, I was at an opticians, this was years ago, and, um, I was filling out a form and it said age. And I was like,

• 18:24Speaker 02

  I can't.

• 18:25Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 18:26Speaker 02

  I can't remember if I've already turned that or if I just keep saying I'm that.

• 18:30Speaker 02

  And so I had to Google myself.

• 18:32Speaker 03

  That's handy.

• 18:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:35Speaker 04

  Don't ask AI though, because that gives different answers, it turns out.

• 18:38Speaker 02

  Can do.

• 18:39Speaker 04

  For example, can you recycle the pump part of a soap dispenser?

• 18:45Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 18:46Speaker 04

  In Haringey?

• 18:47Speaker 02

  Right. Can you?

• 18:49Speaker 04

  Well.

• 18:50Speaker 02

  Still don't know.

• 18:50Speaker 04

  Last week you could, today you couldn't.

• 18:52Speaker 02

  Today you can't.

• 18:53Speaker 04

  Okay, so.

• 18:56Speaker 04

  Just saying. What sources are they?

• 18:58Speaker 02

  Should we do this? Have we got anything?

• 19:01Speaker 03

  I don't know if I've got any authority anymore. Shall we do, should we do it?

• 19:04Speaker 02

  You're the ultimate authority.

• 19:06Speaker 03

  Thanks, guys.

• 19:12Speaker 02

  Um, welcome to Joe, James and Lily Fact Up, a podcast loosely about Joe and James.

• 19:18Speaker 04

  Lily, Lily, Lily, Joe and James.

• 19:20Speaker 02

  A podcast loosely about Joe and James, but it was more about Lily May.

• 19:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:24Speaker 03

  This is my dream podcast.

• 19:27Speaker 02

  If you want to get in touch, please email us. We're gonna have to change this, aren't we?

• 19:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:30Speaker 02

  Hello at joeandjamespod.com. Our WhatsApp is 07822034330. If you do want to leave any voice notes saying how great Queen Lily May is, that will definitely end up on the show.

• 19:42Speaker 04

  They'll go in. Don't bother saying something else because it will go down the old memory hole.

• 19:46Speaker 03

  I'd love to say that. I hate this, but I love it.

• 19:49Speaker 02

  You can also follow us on socials at joeandjamespod. And if you, if you, and you can, not if you, you can. Might be blind, but you can watch all our episodes in four on YouTube and Apple Podcasts. Just search for Joe and James Fact Up. Now, let's get fucked up.

• 20:14Speaker 05

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• 21:18Speaker 06

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• 21:56Speaker 04

  You've been sending in some Fact Up stuff for us to discuss. This is Paul via Fact Up WhatsApp, and it's subtitled Toilet Poll. Hi, Joan James. Brilliant pod. I'm nowhere near close to my actual lived experience in both perspectives, which is worrying, but please keep it up. Okay. Anyway, as we all know, James enjoys a good, old-fashioned and very masculine sit-down wee.

• 22:17Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 22:19Speaker 04

  So I was very intrigued to see this live poll conducted on the cubicle wall of a local night spot. This was on my 44th birthday night out, which also coincided with A-level results day. So now I understand what the oldest object known to mankind feels like.

• 22:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, that would put it into perspective. Anyway, the brilliantly analog poll encouraged its cubicle users to use a coin to select wank, piss, or shit as their reason to visit.

• 22:43Speaker 02

  Wank?

• 22:44Speaker 04

  Wank's first. It's probably not first. He's put it first, which Freudian slip. Alternatively, select star, which I took to mean miscellaneous. But my fiance, whose hometown this is, laid the challenge to inform me was a snowflake to indicate drug use. Okay, okay.

• 23:04Speaker 02

  So they're encouraging that in the... Where is he, in a pub or something?

• 23:08Speaker 04

  No, no, no. I think it's just been written on the...

• 23:09Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 23:10Speaker 04

  I think it's just been...

• 23:11Speaker 02

  Oh, it's graffiti?

• 23:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, I've got a picture if you'd like to see it.

• 23:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:14Speaker 02

  Yeah?

• 23:16Speaker 04

  Oh, okay.

• 23:17Speaker 03

  Now, now the message will break down what your... the stats.

• 23:20Speaker 04

  Okay. Sit-down piss a clear winner, but a worrying amount of public shitters and drug enthusiasts using the same disgusting space for their own enjoyment slash health. Cheers, guys. Paul.

• 23:29Speaker 02

  You're taking drugs

• 23:32Speaker 02

  off of a dirty... Yeah, no, I'm not really into drugs, to be honest with you.

• 23:37Speaker 04

  No, I'm not really into drugs. I realized the other day that

• 23:42Speaker 04

  that Oasis lyric, "All your dreams are made when you change the mirror and the razor blade", it's about cocaine.

• 23:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:48Speaker 04

  But growing up, I thought it just meant like when you're having a shave and like you're getting yourself ready to go out. It's just, oh, yeah. When you shave.

• 23:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:57Speaker 04

  And you look in the mirror.

• 23:58Speaker 02

  It's superhands, isn't it? Was it long weekend looking into the mirror? Doing a bit of soul searching? No, coke, not cocaine.

• 24:07Speaker 04

  Well, there used to be a poll on the...

• 24:12Speaker 04

  It's called the Shitometer in the history faculty toilets at university, where you could talk about what sort of shit you'd done.

• 24:20Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 24:21Speaker 04

  Like color and consistency. And then it got painted over by some woke cleaners.

• 24:30Speaker 02

  Right.

• 24:32Speaker 04

  And then someone after... Someone has written on top of that, "Oh, Shitometer, how we mourn thy loss."

• 24:39Speaker 04

  So it reminds me a bit of that. I know I'm a fan of... I'm a fan of stuff written on toilet walls. I think it's good. It's a nice...

• 24:45Speaker 02

  They've been doing it for years, haven't they? It's a lot of...

• 24:47Speaker 04

  I just... I leave it up. I just didn't leave it up. Like, I don't...

• 24:52Speaker 04

  It's part of...

• 24:53Speaker 02

  It becomes part of the culture and the fabric and...

• 24:57Speaker 04

  It's better to write it... If somebody said you can either read stuff on the walls of toilets or you can read stuff on social media, I would choose the toilet walls.

• 25:05Speaker 02

  All right, let's move on.

• 25:06Speaker 04

  All right. But now that... So what's he saying here? So basically...

• 25:10Speaker 02

  Sit-down piss...

• 25:11Speaker 04

  Sit-down piss a clear winner. So it's a cubicle, so yeah, so it's... Well, probably, you know, sometimes you gotta... Oh, shit, publicly. I don't... But you know, I'll tell you what. You need to back yourself if you're shitting publicly. You need to know that it's gonna be a high-quality shit.

• 25:27Speaker 02

  Sometimes you don't know.

• 25:29Speaker 04

  I know more or less now because I'm taking my psyllium husk and it...

• 25:34Speaker 02

  I've got into some situations when I've been out the house and I'm like, this really was a home shit. This was one that I needed to do at home. This wasn't... This wasn't textbook.

• 25:44Speaker 04

  The other problem I have, I don't know whether this is... What it is, too much information. But like, my asshole is not... It's not one discreet hole. There's stuff round it. So when I'm trying to clean up, it's like, sometimes, honestly, I will lift up a bit and find there's a little bit of shit under there.

• 26:08Speaker 04

  That's honestly true. I'm just telling you that's true.

• 26:09Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 26:10Speaker 04

  What I mostly need is a bath. Sometimes even a shower.

• 26:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:14Speaker 04

  What I need is a bath.

• 26:16Speaker 02

  Beady.

• 26:17Speaker 04

  I'm not allowed to use it!

• 26:19Speaker 02

  There's another little message here from Georgie. This is via the Fact Up WhatsApp.

• 26:25Speaker 02

  And it's called missionary position. The sexiest of all the positions.

• 26:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:31Speaker 02

  Hi, my name's Georgie. I'm a big fan of the podcast and would love to hear your thoughts about this. Do you know the missionary position was named after English and American Christian missionaries? When missionaries traveled the world, they encountered indigenous cultures where different sexual positions were more common. The missionaries were associated with promoting the face-to-face, man-on-top position as the proper or morally acceptable way to have sex. Essentially, everyone was doing doggy before the English got involved.

• 27:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, it doesn't surprise me. I mean, it's like... Yeah, like what... Who are they? Who the fuck are Christians to tell people how to have sex? That is not your wheelhouse. Believe you me, that is not your wheelhouse.

• 27:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're better...

• 27:26Speaker 04

  All right?

• 27:26Speaker 02

  You're better off getting sex tips from me or something.

• 27:28Speaker 04

  You take sex... Yes, quite. Quite.

• 27:31Speaker 02

  And mine would be missionary.

• 27:34Speaker 04

  Okay. If you favor it.

• 27:36Speaker 02

  I feel it's the most intimate.

• 27:38Speaker 04

  It is a nice one. You can kiss, you know?

• 27:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:45Speaker 04

  Hannah? Hello?

• 27:47Speaker 02

  Hello.

• 27:47Speaker 04

  Hannah? Hannah, do you like it when we're having missionary sex? And I kiss you? Hannah? Hello?

• 28:00Speaker 04

  No, but I just... Yeah, I mean, again. Yeah.

• 28:06Speaker 02

  I think all the positions are fine. I'm happy, just whatever. I really am.

• 28:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 28:11Speaker 02

  I can't... Do you know what? When I was...

• 28:14Speaker 04

  But as if there's a moral way to have sex.

• 28:16Speaker 02

  When I was younger, like with the lads, with my mates and stuff, and they were out shagging and stuff.

• 28:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 28:24Speaker 02

  Right? When they were out and they were on it and they were being jacked, the lads. And they'd all talk about their conquests. I'd be very quiet during those conversations. And they'd be like... One... I remember one of my mates was like, "Yeah, we made a video. Yeah, we set up a camera and we made a video and..."

• 28:43Speaker 04

  Oh, actually, your mate and there and his girlfriend.

• 28:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. They're like, "Yeah, we made a video. It was really sexy" or whatever. And I just was thinking... Do you know what? Like, I thought... Like, any time I've ever been in that situation, I've always just felt so grateful and lucky that I've never wanted to go, "Oh, hang on, one minute, let me get the camera."

• 29:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:04Speaker 02

  Or stop anything. Even the Johnny can ruin what I'm trying to... If I take too long putting a condom on or something, that will completely... It will just stop whatever's happening. How are these people doing more moves than missionary? Getting cameras? Doing it more than once a night?

• 29:25Speaker 02

  Weirdos. Absolute weirdos.

• 29:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, the video...

• 29:31Speaker 02

  Everyone's living in a James Bond film.

• 29:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:37Speaker 04

  Would I want a video?

• 29:38Speaker 02

  Oh, god, no.

• 29:40Speaker 04

  I'm in it.

• 29:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's it.

• 29:45Speaker 04

  I don't like watching my acting. I mean, I'll say that much.

• 29:50Speaker 02

  Well, we know, yeah.

• 29:50Speaker 04

  This'll just be that, but.

• 29:52Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 29:53Speaker 04

  Even worse. Something else to wince at. Oh, my God.

• 30:00Speaker 03

  What about like a little key ring, like a, like a theme park where you just get a little snapshot?

• 30:06Speaker 02

  All right, you can go to a booth afterwards.

• 30:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:08Speaker 02

  And you have to find your one.

• 30:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:12Speaker 04

  I'll tell you what's pointless. They do that on the London Eye, but they do it as you getting on.

• 30:19Speaker 04

  Oh, that's good.

• 30:20Speaker 02

  Is that true?

• 30:21Speaker 04

  It's you, it's you, it's you at the queue. Oh, do you remember when we went on the London Eye? No? Well, look at this. Do you remember now? No. Because that's not a picture of the London Eye. It's a picture of me in front of a wall. That is mental. I can't believe anyone's buying that. That is genuinely.

• 30:36Speaker 02

  I don't know. I can't believe anyone's buying the London Eye.

• 30:39Speaker 04

  I know.

• 30:39Speaker 02

  I've never been on it. I've never, I've.

• 30:42Speaker 04

  It's okay. I'll tell you what'll make it a lot better. You know what I'm gonna say? Speed that fucker up.

• 30:46Speaker 02

  It, that's another thing as well.

• 30:47Speaker 04

  Speed it up.

• 30:48Speaker 02

  It looks so long.

• 30:49Speaker 04

  Stretch her legs a bit. Stretch her legs. See what she can do. See what this bitch, see, I'm gonna say bitch. See what this bitch can do.

• 30:56Speaker 02

  She's unsinkable. She's made of iron, sir.

• 31:00Speaker 04

  The Titanic can't sink. She's made of iron, sir. I assure you, she can.

• 31:04Speaker 02

  She will.

• 31:05Speaker 04

  These boats were tested in Belfast with weight of 60 men.

• 31:09Speaker 02

  Joe, we need to do fact check. Better than us, me and you.

• 31:13Speaker 04

  No, America.

• 31:14Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 31:14Speaker 04

  America's better than Britain.

• 31:16Speaker 02

  If Britain's me and you.

• 31:17Speaker 04

  No, it depends where you are. Depends.

• 31:21Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 31:21Speaker 04

  Case by case basis.

• 31:22Speaker 02

  It's a fact check. It's time for fact check, sorry.

• 31:27Speaker 04

  It's a fact check.

• 31:28Speaker 02

  I was just trying to move on really quickly. Uh, this is the part of the, uh, podcast episode where we read a fact or a question that you'd like us to get to the bottom of. And then we're gonna have a good old think during the ad break. And we'll come back and let you know how true it feels to us to decide whether it passes our fact checked.

• 31:43Speaker 04

  Okay, so.

• 31:44Speaker 02

  Shall I do, shall I do this?

• 31:45Speaker 04

  You do it.

• 31:47Speaker 02

  All the stuff is in your name.

• 31:49Speaker 04

  I know, they put it all, yeah.

• 31:50Speaker 02

  It's all flipped over to you now.

• 31:51Speaker 04

  I know, it's weird, isn't it? I don't know what's going on.

• 31:53Speaker 03

  Well, you do the intros so often. I'll put Joe later on.

• 31:56Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 31:56Speaker 03

  And you do the outro. So it's like a James Sandwich.

• 31:59Speaker 02

  Well, this. Talking about our film again. This week's fact, my balls have just dropped.

• 32:08Speaker 02

  I've been waiting, waiting for that to happen. This week's fact check comes from Christie, who has sent us this. Hi, Joe and James. Love the pod. Thanks for the many laughs. It's not a fact, but a question. I am severely allergic to cats and I've always wanted to know if that means I'm also allergic to big cats. Lions, jaguars, tigers, et cetera. I assume that I would be, but not sure how I could ever check. I've also heard from several people, get a kitten and it will cure your allergy, which I think is absolute bollocks. Thoughts? Um, thanks from Christie. So we're gonna have a little break and we'll be getting to the bottom of this in, in a moment.

• 32:56Speaker 07

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• 33:40Speaker 07

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• 34:09Speaker 02

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• 34:40Speaker 02

  Hi, this is Mark Bittman from the podcast Food with Mark Bittman. Cheers to fall savings at Whole Foods Market, home of the higher ingredient standards. This Halloween, share chocolates and candies made without that spooky high fructose corn syrup. Throwing a party? Make it easy with a berry chantilly cake. Ready to cook pizza? No antibiotics ever chicken wings? And sushi made fresh daily? Fall gatherings never tasted better. Save through November 3rd at Whole Foods Market.

• 35:17Speaker 04

  I just want to say I love this, uh, fact check.

• 35:20Speaker 02

  This is brilliant. This has made me think.

• 35:21Speaker 04

  It's absolutely.

• 35:22Speaker 02

  Because I don't know the answer.

• 35:25Speaker 02

  I don't know the answer.

• 35:26Speaker 04

  Yeah. And, and.

• 35:29Speaker 02

  I should probably just say, welcome back to Joe and James Fact Up. We were just fact checking on behalf of Christie who wanted to know, um, that if, if she's allergic to cats, if she'd be allergic to big cats.

• 35:41Speaker 04

  Lions, et cetera.

• 35:41Speaker 02

  Brilliant.

• 35:42Speaker 04

  Great thought process. Love how you're thinking. And, and I mean, uh, it, it.

• 35:49Speaker 04

  And, and also there's a separate part about if she gets a kitten, will it cure her allergy?

• 35:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:53Speaker 04

  She's been told it will. Seems like it wouldn't.

• 35:56Speaker 02

  I don't know. Is it like that thing, you know, when you used to get your TB jab at school?

• 36:00Speaker 04

  Okay, yeah.

• 36:01Speaker 02

  And they'd give, they'd basically, is it?

• 36:03Speaker 04

  Well, vaccination, so, so. Well, the smallpox vaccination is that Louis Pasteur, I did this in junior school, if I remember it. He noticed that, uh, French, uh, like, well, he was in France, but like the women who.

• 36:18Speaker 02

  I'd assume so with a name like that.

• 36:21Speaker 04

  Yeah. The women who milked the cows.

• 36:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, he came up pasteurisation, didn't he?

• 36:25Speaker 04

  They, they never got smallpox and he realised that they were getting given a, a version of the disease by the cows that was a bit like smallpox. And that the body learned to fight that condition. And having kind of battle hardened itself against this cow disease was then able to win the fight against the smallpox.

• 36:48Speaker 02

  So.

• 36:48Speaker 04

  And, and it's called pasteurisation. It's named after her, hi, him, sorry.

• 36:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, didn't his wife have something to do with something or another as well? Maybe not. But, um.

• 36:59Speaker 04

  Um.

• 37:00Speaker 02

  What you're saying is, is that they were given a, a weaker version of.

• 37:03Speaker 04

  They were given, they were given.

• 37:04Speaker 02

  Something similar to smallpox that then made them, so they were like the, you know, those fake metal men that they have over at football training grounds to act as the, to act as a wall for a free kick.

• 37:22Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 37:24Speaker 02

  You know what I'm talking about?

• 37:25Speaker 04

  Fake metal men?

• 37:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, those, those, you know what I'm talking about.

• 37:28Speaker 04

  I know what you mean. I do. I don't know what they're.

• 37:30Speaker 02

  So that when.

• 37:31Speaker 04

  Are they metal?

• 37:32Speaker 02

  Or whatever, plastic, I don't know. But they, um, but they use those in practice so that when it comes to the real game at the weekend, they're better at scoring from a free kick.

• 37:43Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Sorry, of course. No, I, I was, I was just, I just like the phrase.

• 37:48Speaker 02

  I'm sure they're made of metal.

• 37:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, I know. I just like the phrase fake metal men.

• 37:53Speaker 02

  Be a good name for a band.

• 37:54Speaker 04

  Oh, my goodness. Fake Metal Men is, yeah.

• 37:58Speaker 02

  I don't know where to, uh, what.

• 38:00Speaker 04

  I'd buy their, I'd buy their CD.

• 38:02Speaker 02

  I don't know where to come at this, what position to take on this one.

• 38:07Speaker 04

  I mean, the, the, the, um, the big cats thing is, is fascinating because it's like, it probably, obviously it wouldn't be your main concern if a lion was coming at you. Like, oh, I'm gonna start sneezing now.

• 38:18Speaker 02

  Achoo, yeah.

• 38:21Speaker 02

  I sort of think that they are, that big cats and your domestic cat are different enough that you would, just because you're allergic to the small cats, you'd be allergic to a big cat. I sort of think that's probably true, but I, I, I think that's the boring answer. I'd love it if it was just to go Keegan on you for a second. I would love it. If, um, you were also allergic to big cats. Because it was, it would be this weird, magical connection that you've got to tigers.

• 38:53Speaker 04

  Yeah. Well, I, I, yeah, yeah. And, and I mean, it is.

• 38:58Speaker 02

  And I don't know whether having a.

• 38:59Speaker 04

  And I do, I do like watching the, the, um, the local cat. There's a cat that, um, is, belongs to our neighbours and if you watch him in action, it is just a mini lion. Like, it's the same thing.

• 39:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:12Speaker 04

  Like, they are, uh, he's an absolute boy, this cat. I love watching him out. He's, he's always on the trail of a, of a, of a bird or a fox or something.

• 39:24Speaker 02

  If they could, um.

• 39:25Speaker 04

  And he goes out all night and he comes back and he's lost his collar and his tag.

• 39:29Speaker 02

  If they could have bred. Cats with lion manes, imagine that.

• 39:35Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 39:35Speaker 02

  They, how popular they would be.

• 39:37Speaker 04

  Oh, my goodness.

• 39:38Speaker 02

  Like your domestic cat, it could, like, it doesn't, it could be like a black and white cat or, you know, a ginger tabby cat or something, but it's just got, it's just got this head of hair.

• 39:48Speaker 04

  Why, why has, why, yeah.

• 39:50Speaker 03

  You've got like Maine Coons that are like similar, they're not, they're not quite the lion effects, but they've kind of got a similar sort of vibe.

• 39:55Speaker 02

  You get those savannah cats as well.

• 39:57Speaker 04

  And the ones with the, the very pointy ears, up here, I could see it on your screen there.

• 40:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:02Speaker 04

  They're good.

• 40:02Speaker 02

  What are those cats, um, they've, they've, they've got a weird name, like Cargos or something, or.

• 40:09Speaker 04

  Cougars?

• 40:10Speaker 02

  No, there's a, there's a, an Instagram account that keeps coming up on my, on my feed. And it's just an account about this, it's like some sort of savannah cat, it's like, it's some sort of domestic mountain lion, basically.

• 40:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:27Speaker 02

  And all the cat is ever doing is growling and hissing, and they're like giving it food and it's like punching the food and it's so terrifying. And all the captions are like, oh, I don't know what they called it, Jeffrey or something, it's like, oh, Jeffrey's happy today, and all, all the comments are like, that cat is fucking gonna eat you at some point.

• 40:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:47Speaker 02

  And it's got these huge fangs and all the cat is ever doing is being really aggressive and angry and showing its fangs. And they're like, oh, that's, that's, um, that's cat language for like, I love you and stuff, that's, and I'm going, I don't think it is.

• 41:03Speaker 04

  No, no, it's just the best you're gonna get from a cat. So that's what you have to say.

• 41:08Speaker 02

  And it's huge as well, it's, it's, it's, it's the size of a large dog, it's about the size of like an, an elation or something. It's mental that they've got this cat living in their house and they think it's a pet and the cat does not realise it's a pet at all whatsoever.

• 41:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. I think if the animal doesn't think that it's a pet,

• 41:29Speaker 04

  that, that is, that should be part of what, that's part of what a pet is.

• 41:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:32Speaker 04

  A dog knows it's a pet.

• 41:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:35Speaker 04

  Probably just don't have cats as pets, cause it's not, they're, they're not really.

• 41:41Speaker 04

  Well, some are affectionate. Some are.

• 41:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm not a cat guy.

• 41:46Speaker 04

  I wasn't.

• 41:46Speaker 02

  You're not allowed to slag off cats.

• 41:48Speaker 04

  Why not?

• 41:49Speaker 02

  The internet doesn't like it. I watched a whole TV show called Don't Fuck With Cats.

• 41:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, but that was, that was a guy who was like being horrible to them.

• 41:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, no, he was a, he was a serial killer, that everyone was like, oh, there's a serial killer, and then didn't he kill a cat? And then everyone, whoa, hang on a minute.

• 42:02Speaker 04

  That's, that's too far.

• 42:03Speaker 02

  Fucking killed a cat.

• 42:05Speaker 03

  Then the cats came first.

• 42:06Speaker 02

  Oh, was that what it was?

• 42:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:08Speaker 02

  It was years ago, I watched that.

• 42:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 42:10Speaker 02

  It was a good show, that was. It was really, it was like up in Canada or something, wasn't it?

• 42:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:14Speaker 02

  And then you've got all these internet nerds that basically control the narrative of the world these days.

• 42:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:20Speaker 03

  Stooped it, yeah.

• 42:23Speaker 02

  They can, they can decide whether you wanna, whether they wanna cancel you or not, even though like 99% of the world are like, what do you think about this? And they go, I don't really give a fuck. As soon as those internet nerds start, I'm not a cat guy, I'm a dog guy. I prefer dogs to cats.

• 42:38Speaker 04

  Now, now that, now that I have a child, I realise I wouldn't be able to manage a dog, whereas I think I probably could manage a cat, so I've shifted slightly. So I actually, I now appreciate the slight self-sufficiency of a cat.

• 42:50Speaker 02

  I get that.

• 42:51Speaker 04

  But I think, I think if the main, I think if the main thing that you're getting from your pet is that it's not really there, maybe you just don't really want a pet? Or I could just say, oh, the birds are my pets, but they just live in the sky and they do their own thing. Like, do you know what I mean?

• 43:03Speaker 02

  You should go out into the street and start saying stuff like that.

• 43:06Speaker 04

  The birds are my pets. Just see if people follow me.

• 43:10Speaker 02

  In between the Star Joe Thomas section today.

• 43:14Speaker 03

  Birds are my pets and parks are my venues.

• 43:16Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

• 43:21Speaker 02

  That's annoying that Queen Lily May's come up with the funniest joke on the show today.

• 43:25Speaker 03

  I'll edit that out.

• 43:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, some, somebody, somebody has to.

• 43:28Speaker 02

  We're gonna lose her, she's gonna sext it, I'm telling you, mate, we are this close to losing Queen.

• 43:32Speaker 04

  They, they always, they always start performing when they wanna transfer, have you noticed that?

• 43:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 43:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, oh, she's doing a good performance today.

• 43:38Speaker 02

  Well, she's performing now.

• 43:40Speaker 04

  What a coincidence.

• 43:41Speaker 02

  Wait until she down toes and forces a move.

• 43:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, I suppose we should be thankful that she's turning out at all for us.

• 43:48Speaker 02

  All the listeners, all the listeners will be like, no, just keep her on the payroll and just let, let her sit there and watch. And we go, we can't, we can't afford it, we'll have to sell her so we can get someone else in.

• 43:56Speaker 04

  Yeah. She's got us over a bloody barrel.

• 43:59Speaker 02

  She's got us by the testicles, Joe.

• 44:01Speaker 04

  She's got us by the shortened curly's.

• 44:08Speaker 02

  What are we talking about?

• 44:09Speaker 04

  This cat thing.

• 44:10Speaker 02

  This cat thing. I don't know, honestly, I'm excited.

• 44:12Speaker 04

  The kid, yeah, I mean.

• 44:13Speaker 02

  I'm more excited, um, I'm more excited to throw this over to Queen Lily May and get an answer, because I don't know what the answer is, but I know I'm gonna love it e- e- either way.

• 44:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:21Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 44:21Speaker 02

  Queen Lily May.

• 44:22Speaker 03

  So I've done a little bit of looking around and, um, it is possible.

• 44:27Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 44:29Speaker 03

  So basically there are sort of proteins that, um, are allergy prone called a Felde One. There's also Feladi and Gan, uh, I think it's called, oh, danda, which are like microscopic, uh, skin flakes. Um, and then you also have things like, uh, saliva and things like that. So that's what you become allergic to with cats. And there's certain proteins within those that cause the allergy. So small cats and big cats both contain those same proteins.

• 45:01Speaker 02

  That's brilliant.

• 45:01Speaker 03

  However, they say that it, in research, it seems like there's differing levels of, um, allergy reaction based on how allergic you are. But it also seems that people, uh, tend to be, um, have weaker reactions to bigger cats.

• 45:17Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 45:18Speaker 03

  So it seems less, um, potent with big cats. But I would say there's not loads of research, but from some of the research I've seen and Vox have done an interesting, um, article about that. And then I've also looked into whether a kitten, um, can help you with your allergies. There's a, a good bit on allergies on the cats protection website, which I've been looking at. And they essentially say that it probably won't cure you. However, some people try and spend a bit of time around cats. They don't specifically say, um, kittens, but they say that sometimes you might feel like it's less severe, but there's no evidence to support it.

• 45:55Speaker 02

  Right.

• 45:56Speaker 03

  Um, but some people sort of take that sacrifice or maybe keep a little bit of distance, even if it's in their, in their own house. But you should, you can take antihistamines and things like that, which will ease your symptoms. So you can live with cats, but there's no proof that kittens will cure it.

• 46:10Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 46:10Speaker 02

  I'm trying to find that thing on Instagram. I wanna show you a video. Massive cat that keeps hissing on Instagram.

• 46:22Speaker 04

  I was just thinking that a good person to have investigated this question would have been, um, the Tiger King.

• 46:27Speaker 02

  The ca- the carac- Pumba, Pumba the caracol, that's it.

• 46:31Speaker 04

  Oh, caracol, all right. Okay, so this is just some.

• 46:33Speaker 02

  It's nuts.

• 46:35Speaker 04

  Some sort of bastard aggressive cat that's just like, sort of swiping at people.

• 46:41Speaker 02

  Pumba the caracol, yeah.

• 46:43Speaker 04

  Oh, how charming.

• 46:44Speaker 02

  3.1 million followers.

• 46:45Speaker 04

  Okay, well.

• 46:46Speaker 02

  This is all it does.

• 46:47Speaker 04

  Is this his own page? Oh, okay, god.

• 46:54Speaker 02

  They just go up to it and it's just pissed off all the time.

• 46:56Speaker 04

  Who's, who's his mate though? He's next to another cat.

• 46:57Speaker 02

  That's just a normal cat.

• 46:58Speaker 04

  A normal cat.

• 47:03Speaker 02

  What are they getting out of this?

• 47:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 47:06Speaker 02

  Uh, like apart from.

• 47:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:08Speaker 02

  Sleeping with one eye open.

• 47:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's basically, so I live with a bloke who's just going fuck off all the time.

• 47:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, that cat is gonna eat you.

• 47:17Speaker 04

  Oh, fuck yeah.

• 47:18Speaker 02

  As soon as he gets a chance.

• 47:20Speaker 04

  As soon as he gets organised with a few other caracals.

• 47:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:23Speaker 04

  Nice ears though.

• 47:24Speaker 02

  Lovely ears.

• 47:25Speaker 04

  Lovely ears and so we'll let him off.

• 47:27Speaker 02

  Um, Joe, have you got a fact for us this week?

• 47:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, I do. So, uh, it's that, oh, god.

• 47:39Speaker 02

  If you're bored of it.

• 47:40Speaker 04

  No, no, I think, I think it's all right. Uh, so I was looking at the, the Georgian, uh, alphabet, cause it's a really beautiful alphabet and it's like the most unique, like no one else, no one else uses it. And, um, they've also got a number system, just to be even more difficult, they've got a number system that is in base 20. So it's called, um, uh, oh, god.

• 48:05Speaker 04

  Vigi, vigis, vigisimal, rather than decimal, so it's in base 20.

• 48:10Speaker 02

  Right.

• 48:10Speaker 04

  So they don't use tens. So with our numbers, always we go.

• 48:17Speaker 04

  One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

• 48:19Speaker 02

  Joe was just counting on his, just looking at his hands for a second then, if you're, if you're listening to this and not watching this. Joe was confused by his own hands.

• 48:28Speaker 04

  No, I wasn't. I was confused by what I am. I was, I didn't want, I didn't know. We obviously go one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.

• 48:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, and then.

• 48:39Speaker 04

  But then we don't have a 10th symbol.

• 48:43Speaker 02

  We have a one and a zero.

• 48:44Speaker 04

  We say we'll move a place. So we'll go back to the symbol we started with, but we'll move it over here. And then let that signify the fact that we would have.

• 48:52Speaker 02

  You're doing the thing again, Joe.

• 48:54Speaker 04

  You'd have to watch for this.

• 48:55Speaker 02

  Where you explain what an uncle is and stuff.

• 48:58Speaker 04

  You know about numbers, right?

• 48:59Speaker 02

  I do.

• 48:59Speaker 04

  You do. Okay. So base 10. So they don't do that till they get to 20. And obviously we don't, we don't use that system, but you can find sort of vestigial traces of it in such

• 49:14Speaker 04

  um well-known sort of epithets as three score years and seven.

• 49:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:21Speaker 04

  Which is Abraham Lincoln.

• 49:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:23Speaker 04

  And of course, David Brent, we live for three score years and 10.

• 49:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:27Speaker 04

  And it's, did I affect people?

• 49:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:29Speaker 04

  Yes, you did. Are you going to pay me for it? Yes, lots. Thank you. Not why I do it, but thank you.

• 49:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:35Speaker 04

  Um, that's it. That's my fact.

• 49:36Speaker 02

  Yeah. Should remember to thank him.

• 49:38Speaker 04

  Should remember to thank him. Um, so.

• 49:42Speaker 02

  There goes David Brent. I should remember to thank him.

• 49:44Speaker 04

  There goes David Brent. So yeah, that's, that's it. Is that, is that good?

• 49:52Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 49:54Speaker 04

  Base 20.

• 49:55Speaker 02

  Luckily for you, Joe, um, we do have an extra bit of chat.

• 49:58Speaker 04

  So we're just not going to do anything with that.

• 50:00Speaker 02

  I don't know what you want me to do with that, man.

• 50:04Speaker 04

  Okay. We're just, okay.

• 50:06Speaker 02

  Last week I brought anus back. I brought us back to anus.

• 50:09Speaker 04

  I have done some good ones.

• 50:11Speaker 02

  Who are you trying to convince?

• 50:12Speaker 04

  I don't know. I don't know.

• 50:16Speaker 02

  Right. So they went up to 20. Right. Here's my question then, and dare I ask. So what comes after nine in the Georgian?

• 50:24Speaker 04

  Well, another symbol. So, so we have, so instead of, so what it would mean is that there's, we have a total of 10 symbols.

• 50:34Speaker 02

  Yeah. Nine.

• 50:36Speaker 04

  No, you have zero.

• 50:37Speaker 02

  10, including zero.

• 50:38Speaker 04

  So it's not, it's not 10, one to 10. It's 10, zero to nine.

• 50:43Speaker 02

  Zero to nine.

• 50:44Speaker 04

  Those are the 10.

• 50:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:45Speaker 04

  10 isn't a symbol. 10 is two symbols that you've already seen.

• 50:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:48Speaker 04

  So you shouldn't say, there goes a 10.

• 50:50Speaker 02

  I should remember to thank him.

• 50:52Speaker 04

  I should remember to thank him. Don't thank 10. Thank one, zero, and the decimal system.

• 50:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:00Speaker 04

  Um, I suppose it's clearly based on hands, isn't it?

• 51:03Speaker 02

  Stop looking at your hands.

• 51:04Speaker 04

  Well, no, I'm just thinking like clearly that's what you'd.

• 51:08Speaker 04

  But maybe, I don't know why, I don't know why 20 would be. I mean, I don't know whether it's toes or something.

• 51:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:15Speaker 04

  Might be involved. Um.

• 51:16Speaker 02

  So have you got the symbol? Could you show me the symbol that comes after nine?

• 51:22Speaker 02

  This is the stuff that would make the.

• 51:24Speaker 04

  Well, they can kind of put on there.

• 51:25Speaker 02

  They won't remember.

• 51:29Speaker 02

  But when people, when you do, but Joe, when you do your fact on the podcast, when people ask you to show them the symbol, they won't, they won't remember.

• 51:38Speaker 04

  They don't remember. They don't need to see it.

• 51:40Speaker 02

  Aren't they going to be more disappointed when you, when you tell them there's a fact? But, but you don't have it.

• 51:47Speaker 02

  Right, we do.

• 51:49Speaker 04

  That's a fact anyway.

• 51:50Speaker 02

  We do have some extra chat. Um, Claire has got in touch with us via the Fact Up WhatsApp. Who says, hey, guys, love the pod. Keep up the good work. Not really a fact, but I was wondering if you guys would discuss funny sayings that exist. E.G. not my cup of tea.

• 52:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:07Speaker 02

  Does it mean that someone picked up a cup of tea and it was the wrong type of tea? So it wasn't something for them? Or is it actually another person's tea they mistakenly took? Other sayings would be cool, like chocolate fireplace. What?

• 52:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:23Speaker 02

  Uh, what's the deal there? Who decided it was made out of chocolate and not other things that melt? Thanks again, Claire.

• 52:31Speaker 04

  Um. Yeah, so.

• 52:35Speaker 02

  Not my cup of tea. Famous British saying.

• 52:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:40Speaker 02

  Um, but yeah, I assume it, um, it lends itself to lots of, that.

• 52:45Speaker 04

  No, I mean, I suppose it's a way of, it's a polite way of saying that.

• 52:49Speaker 02

  It's not really for me.

• 52:49Speaker 04

  That it's not for me.

• 52:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:51Speaker 04

  But I guess in a kind of low stakes way.

• 52:55Speaker 02

  But Claire wants the specific.

• 52:58Speaker 04

  Where did it actually come from?

• 52:59Speaker 02

  You know, did they, did they pick up someone else's cup of tea? Did they pick up someone else's cup of tea? Well, it was just, it was out of time.

• 53:07Speaker 04

  I don't, I don't, I don't.

• 53:09Speaker 02

  Well, Britain's been obsessed with tea.

• 53:11Speaker 04

  I don't think it was literally that, because I feel like that would be, that, that would be a different sort, that would be an analogy for a different sort of thing. That, that's, that, that's more like, I'm, I'm really sorry. That, that would be an analogy for saying, I'm really sorry. It, it was an innocent mistake or something like that.

• 53:27Speaker 02

  Do you think there's, there's something else to, um, the fact that tea was so important and so universally loved in Britain for a long time? That you could be saying, I know this, I know everyone loves this, but this is, it's just not. It, it's a polite way of saying, listen, I appreciate that this is good, but it's just not for me. I think it's just manners, isn't it? It's just a polite way of saying, I don't like this.

• 53:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, this is just not really my, well, I, yeah, I guess what it is, is it's like, um, it's, it's, yeah, you could say like that, that, that's not really my pint of beer.

• 54:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:04Speaker 04

  It's, it's something that I like.

• 54:06Speaker 02

  And that lots of other people like.

• 54:07Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 54:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:08Speaker 04

  And, and, and, and what you're really saying is, um, it doesn't, it, it, it doesn't kind of meet my appetite. But that's, but you know, that's, that's on me, you know, our appetite, we can't really, we can't really help our appetites. It's just that, that isn't something that I would look forward to per se.

• 54:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:27Speaker 04

  Where, and presumably a cup of tea is something that you would look forward to. You'd say like, it's not really.

• 54:31Speaker 02

  I think the saying used to be, that is my cup of tea, and if you don't give it to me, I'm going to get you hooked on heroin.

• 54:38Speaker 04

  Yes, that was, that was what they, yeah, that was what they would say.

• 54:40Speaker 02

  Satire.

• 54:41Speaker 04

  Pretty good, actually.

• 54:42Speaker 02

  Political.

• 54:43Speaker 04

  Pretty good. Pretty good. The opium wars, of course. Take our opium. We don't want it. You, you're bloody having it, mate.

• 54:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:52Speaker 04

  Never mind Pizza Express. What about Opium Express? I don't want your opium. You bloody are. Office and satire. Um, yeah, I mean, chocolate fireplace. Yeah, yeah, other things do melt, but I, but I suppose it's like.

• 55:04Speaker 02

  Chocolate teapot.

• 55:05Speaker 04

  I thought it was chocolate teapot. Yeah, chocolate fireplace is, well, also other things get hot. So it's basically, um, one, column A is something that melts. Column B is something that's going to get hot.

• 55:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:15Speaker 04

  So, I don't know, chocolate scrotum. I don't know why it's gone there, but, but like, that's as much as a chocolate scrotum.

• 55:22Speaker 02

  Because the scrotum's hot?

• 55:24Speaker 04

  Scrotum gets hot.

• 55:25Speaker 02

  Oh, right. Hang on a minute.

• 55:27Speaker 04

  No, not, not hot as in.

• 55:28Speaker 02

  What melts?

• 55:29Speaker 04

  The chocolate melts.

• 55:30Speaker 02

  The scrotum?

• 55:32Speaker 02

  When does, oh, Joe.

• 55:34Speaker 03

  So a scrotum wouldn't ordinarily melt when hot?

• 55:37Speaker 02

  No.

• 55:37Speaker 03

  But chocolate would?

• 55:38Speaker 04

  But choc, but chocolate would. Yes, exactly. Exactly. Thank you.

• 55:41Speaker 02

  And scrotum.

• 55:42Speaker 04

  Nor the, nor the fireplace is melt.

• 55:44Speaker 02

  Hang on.

• 55:44Speaker 04

  But.

• 55:45Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 55:46Speaker 02

  But when does scrotums get hot?

• 55:48Speaker 03

  Sex.

• 55:49Speaker 04

  Sex.

• 55:50Speaker 02

  Do they?

• 55:51Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 55:53Speaker 02

  Me neither.

• 55:53Speaker 03

  I don't know yet.

• 55:55Speaker 04

  No, I suppose, I don't, I don't know why my mind went to that. Possibly, possibly because my scrotum feels quite hot at the moment.

• 56:03Speaker 04

  If I'm honest, I suppose that, and it was, you know, it's been a long.

• 56:06Speaker 02

  Should I check?

• 56:08Speaker 04

  Yeah. And check the, check the penis as well. Check the anus as well.

• 56:14Speaker 02

  Well, no, if I'm going, yeah, if I'm going to be there, I might as well.

• 56:15Speaker 04

  You're going to be there.

• 56:16Speaker 02

  Might as well get it all done in one day.

• 56:18Speaker 04

  Have a good look around.

• 56:18Speaker 02

  Because I'll only have to come back and check it in a few months' time anyway.

• 56:22Speaker 04

  And wear the, and wear the doctor's uniform as well.

• 56:24Speaker 02

  Okay. Um, on that note.

• 56:26Speaker 04

  Have we finished that?

• 56:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm all fact out.

• 56:28Speaker 04

  All right.

• 56:28Speaker 02

  Um, we hope that you've learned something or had a nice time. Um, Queen Lily, mate, are you going to still be with us?

• 56:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, we'll have to wait and see.

• 56:35Speaker 02

  Really?

• 56:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, I've got a meeting and we'll just see.

• 56:37Speaker 02

  Is that true? No, you've been serious. You've been serious?

• 56:40Speaker 03

  No, they're not interested in me.

• 56:42Speaker 02

  You're not going anywhere, are you?

• 56:43Speaker 03

  I'm not going anywhere.

• 56:44Speaker 02

  Because we're not recording for a while.

• 56:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm not going, I'm not, I've got no plans.

• 56:48Speaker 02

  All right.

• 56:48Speaker 03

  I'm just going to be waiting. I'll still, I'll still be editing the episodes and listening to them.

• 56:52Speaker 02

  I don't want your, I don't want your agent putting out stories that sex did are interested and stuff and.

• 56:58Speaker 03

  Well, negotiations will have to be had.

• 57:00Speaker 02

  Trying to disrupt the, the dressing room.

• 57:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:04Speaker 03

  You have to keep me sweet, I guess.

• 57:06Speaker 02

  Um, well, we hope that you've learned something or had a nice time. Uh, we'll be back next week. I'll do more facts chats and massive cats.

• 57:15Speaker 03

  Not bad.

• 57:16Speaker 02

  Don't be.

• 57:18Speaker 04

  If it's going to have to be every time, it's like, honestly.

• 57:21Speaker 02

  If she does say so herself.

• 57:24Speaker 03

  I thought, I thought, you know, you said you want to keep me and then I thought maybe I'd get a reaction and then silence.

• 57:30Speaker 02

  I did. I gave it, I let it land. I gave it the time it needed.

• 57:35Speaker 03

  I've lost.

• 57:36Speaker 02

  You need a name check, don't you? You need the name check.

• 57:38Speaker 03

  I've lost all my confidence. I can't like.

• 57:39Speaker 02

  Um, I don't think you have.

• 57:44Speaker 02

  I think you're getting a bit too big for your boots, sweetheart.

• 57:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:46Speaker 02

  Right. Don't forget, you can get in touch with us if you'd like us to fact check something that feels true to you or whatever nonsense you'd like us to tell us. Uh, our email is [email protected]. Our WhatsApp is 07822 034 330. And you can follow us on social media, at @joandjamespod. Head to the podcast description if you've already forgotten those details. We'll be back next week. Bye, guys.

• 58:08Speaker 04

  Bye.

• 58:13Speaker 07

  Joe and James, Fact Up.

• 58:23Speaker 06

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• 58:53Speaker 07

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• 59:35Speaker 07

  Whether you have 200 employees or 20,000, your team should be building what's next. Start a free pilot and we guarantee you can automate 50% of your IT tickets during it. Go to serval.com/automate. That's S E R V A L dot com slash automate. serval.com/automate.

• 59:54Speaker 06

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