Joe and James Are Nearly 50

The boys address the latest James Bond casting rumours... Joe's back with another rant and they boys delved into the 'real' story behind the nursery rhyme of Jack and Jill... GET IN TOUCH: Whatsapp us - wa.me/447822034330 http://wa.me/447822034330 Fill in our Fact Up Form - https://forms.gle/uzF6XWPqaA5aNTtN7 Subscribe on Youtube - www.youtube.com/@JoeandJamesPod/videos http://www.youtube.com/@JoeandJamesPod/videos Follow us on Instagram - www.instagram.com/joeandjamespod http://www.instagram.com/joeandjamespod Follow us on TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@joeandjamespod http://www.tiktok.com/@joeandjamespod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:58Speaker 01

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• 1:34Speaker 02

  Oh, something I meant to ask, actually.

• 1:37Speaker 02

  I saw recently that Theo James has counted himself out of the the Bond race.

• 1:44Speaker 03

  Doesn't even need Bond?

• 1:46Speaker 02

  And well, I what I had thought is you guys have been suspiciously quiet about your projects upcoming. So I wanted to know whether this is something you wanted to talk about, whether you can.

• 1:55Speaker 04

  If you do want to be Bond, you never ever talk about it publicly.

• 1:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:00Speaker 04

  You never do. That's a rule.

• 2:02Speaker 02

  Is it?

• 2:03Speaker 04

  It's a it's an unwritten rule.

• 2:04Speaker 02

  Right.

• 2:05Speaker 04

  So any actor that seriously

• 2:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:09Speaker 04

  is coveting the role of Bond.

• 2:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:12Speaker 04

  They don't speak about whether they want to do it or not.

• 2:15Speaker 03

  And also, if you're in the running for Bond, one of the ways you know you're in the running is that no one has approached you.

• 2:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:22Speaker 03

  And and like if it comes up, it's dismissed. It's actually treated as a derisory notion. Like they people will literally go, are you fucking kidding? Of course he couldn't do it. He's not capable of doing it.

• 2:34Speaker 04

  And it's always

• 2:35Speaker 03

  And that's how you know.

• 2:35Speaker 04

  Someone that the the press or whoever haven't even bothered to think of.

• 2:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:42Speaker 04

  Or considered.

• 2:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:43Speaker 04

  They probably think he's too little and we're looking to do it. We won't.

• 2:50Speaker 02

  Right.

• 2:50Speaker 04

  We won't, you know.

• 2:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, but don't you think in this modern era?

• 2:57Speaker 03

  It has got a little bit.

• 3:00Speaker 03

  There's a bit of a prejudice that it's always a man who's an impressive man.

• 3:03Speaker 04

  Good looking.

• 3:04Speaker 03

  Good bod.

• 3:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 3:05Speaker 03

  Like, good brain.

• 3:07Speaker 04

  Good GB.

• 3:08Speaker 03

  GB.

• 3:08Speaker 04

  GB.

• 3:09Speaker 03

  Double GB.

• 3:09Speaker 04

  Good bod, good brain. It's got it going on up here.

• 3:12Speaker 03

  And down there.

• 3:14Speaker 02

  Well, congratulations to your mum, Jo.

• 3:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, that was weird. Yeah. No, so last, um, the one that went out.

• 3:22Speaker 04

  Recently.

• 3:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, recently, uh, my brother was, one of my brothers, he was like, let's all listen to it as a family because I was with my family in in Glasgow.

• 3:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 3:31Speaker 03

  All my brothers were there. Um, my mum and dad, he was like, I think he kind of thought it'd be like listening to the Queen's speech or something because he knew it was about mum.

• 3:39Speaker 04

  Or just, uh, yeah. Oh, did he know it was about?

• 3:41Speaker 03

  He knew it was about the mom, right? Because he'd been, he'd also been there when it had happened. So this is my family kind of following along. Um, and I just didn't want to sort of listen to it because it was just us talking about how my mum's like fit and stuff and like, we've just got it going on down there.

• 3:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 3:54Speaker 03

  That'll be a bit weird. So, yeah.

• 3:57Speaker 04

  Did you listen to it?

• 3:58Speaker 03

  I have listened to it.

• 3:59Speaker 04

  No, with them?

• 4:00Speaker 03

  No, no, I didn't. No, no, I'm not. No, no, no, I'm, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's it's not, um, it's it's, um.

• 4:07Speaker 04

  What, um, how is the foot?

• 4:11Speaker 03

  Well, it has actually healed, thank you.

• 4:12Speaker 04

  You're all good.

• 4:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, it's all right now.

• 4:14Speaker 04

  No more foot problems. All right, good. But Theo's out, Theo's out the running, is he?

• 4:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, he said, I'm not doing it. I'm not interested.

• 4:22Speaker 04

  That's a shame. That is a shame. I'm a fan. I'm a Theo James fan.

• 4:27Speaker 03

  Why, why does he not want to?

• 4:28Speaker 04

  I think he'd be a really good Bond.

• 4:31Speaker 03

  Why does he, um?

• 4:32Speaker 04

  I suspect as a Bond fan and there's a lot of Bond fans like me that are genuinely really worried about this next Bond. Uh, it's going to be the first sort of official. There's that, you know, there was the other Sean Connery one and whatever. But when I say Bond films, I just mean the proper Bond films, right? I can't be bothered to get, go down that rabbit hole.

• 4:57Speaker 03

  No, I don't.

• 4:57Speaker 04

  With people in the comments.

• 4:58Speaker 03

  I don't know what that rabbit hole is.

• 5:00Speaker 04

  Right.

• 5:00Speaker 03

  Okay. Is it that the Indiana Jones films, they don't count as Bond films?

• 5:03Speaker 04

  They don't count as Bond films.

• 5:05Speaker 03

  Things I I count them as.

• 5:06Speaker 04

  I think it's Never Say Never Again.

• 5:08Speaker 03

  The dress apart films as Bond films.

• 5:10Speaker 04

  Basically, the film, right, I will get into it now.

• 5:12Speaker 03

  Go on, that's right. Well, I don't know what it is. I don't like.

• 5:14Speaker 04

  The film, the.

• 5:15Speaker 03

  Some of them are not based on books.

• 5:16Speaker 04

  So the film Thunderball, one of the Bond films, Thunderball.

• 5:20Speaker 03

  Go on.

• 5:21Speaker 04

  Uh, someone, there's, I, I, I can't, it's so boring, I can't even remember exactly. Somebody else outside of the people that own the James Bond franchise owned that film or something, or that script.

• 5:36Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 5:36Speaker 04

  So, um, they, they basically.

• 5:39Speaker 03

  To do, if I at this point say the word broccoli.

• 5:43Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 5:44Speaker 03

  This is something to do with that, isn't it?

• 5:45Speaker 04

  The Broccolis, yes. So.

• 5:47Speaker 03

  Who are they?

• 5:49Speaker 04

  So you.

• 5:49Speaker 03

  Why are they called Broccoli?

• 5:50Speaker 04

  You had Cubby Broccoli, who, who was.

• 5:52Speaker 03

  No such thing as Cubby Broccoli, unfortunately. That is, that is a joke. That is, that is literally just a joke.

• 5:58Speaker 04

  You had Cubby Broccoli, who, um, used to produce the, the Bond films. I think he produced them up until GoldenEye? And then I think his daughter took over. So it's basically Bond, Bond.

• 6:12Speaker 03

  Betty Broccoli.

• 6:14Speaker 04

  Uh, Barbara.

• 6:14Speaker 03

  So it's Happy Families, basically. So they're the gardeners family from Happy Families, Barbara Broccoli, um, the garden's daughter.

• 6:19Speaker 04

  Basically, the Bond film franchise, as big and giant and as blockbuster-y.

• 6:24Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 6:25Speaker 04

  It was essentially a family business and it still had people that truly deeply cared about it, that was making it.

• 6:33Speaker 03

  I see.

• 6:33Speaker 04

  Um, that felt like they understood what fans wanted and made just fucking devoted their lives to to making these films, basically.

• 6:43Speaker 03

  It's a bit, to me, it seems a bit like if you go to like

• 6:48Speaker 03

  a National Trust property, a lot of those stately homes are now owned by like a big body.

• 6:54Speaker 04

  Right.

• 6:54Speaker 03

  Like the National Trust or English Heritage.

• 6:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:56Speaker 03

  And sometimes you go to one.

• 6:57Speaker 04

  It's privately owned.

• 6:58Speaker 03

  And you're like, oh, it's just a family house still. You know, that's funny.

• 7:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's a bit like that.

• 7:03Speaker 03

  A bit like that.

• 7:03Speaker 04

  So now Amazon own Bond.

• 7:06Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 7:07Speaker 04

  Um, not only, they, they bought MGM Films that make the Bond films.

• 7:13Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 7:14Speaker 04

  And then, but Barbara Broccoli for, up until a point, was still at the helm.

• 7:20Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 7:21Speaker 04

  It was still her.

• 7:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:22Speaker 04

  Even though, uh, Amazon owned the studio, she still owned Bond, the film franchise, right? The family, the Broccoli family still owned it.

• 7:30Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 7:31Speaker 04

  Barbara Broccoli is quoted as saying, they're a bunch of fucking idiots. That's her quote or something along those lines, right?

• 7:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:40Speaker 04

  She got so fed up that she just sold it to Amazon.

• 7:44Speaker 03

  I see.

• 7:45Speaker 04

  Listen, if you're going to keep fucking around with this and everything, then you just do it, buy it off me. And now she's washed her hands of the whole thing. So there's a lot of Bond fans that are really worried about what the direction of Bond, how it's going to go.

• 7:58Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 7:58Speaker 04

  There's a genuine fear because obviously it's cost Amazon a lot of money and they're going to want to return on Bond.

• 8:05Speaker 03

  Final Amazon.

• 8:06Speaker 04

  Uh, if, and I do.

• 8:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:09Speaker 04

  Um, they.

• 8:09Speaker 03

  They're not uninterested in money.

• 8:11Speaker 04

  No.

• 8:11Speaker 03

  Fair enough.

• 8:12Speaker 04

  So.

• 8:12Speaker 03

  You know, you do need it.

• 8:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:14Speaker 03

  For the rockets and everything and.

• 8:15Speaker 04

  Yeah. Sending Katy Perry to space.

• 8:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're going to get Perry into space.

• 8:20Speaker 04

  That don't come cheap.

• 8:20Speaker 03

  She's not going to go into space for free.

• 8:22Speaker 04

  No. So we're in a situation now where, where there's a lot of uh, lifelong Bond fans that are very worried about the next film, very worried about the casting, very worried about what Amazon are going to do with the franchise because they own the IP now. And there's a, there is a, there is a, uh, a possible.

• 8:40Speaker 03

  Good Bond, become an American.

• 8:42Speaker 04

  Well, not even just that, but will they go down the Star Wars road? Where, you know, Disney bought Star Wars, which was this very special thing.

• 8:51Speaker 03

  Now.

• 8:51Speaker 04

  And now there's a new.

• 8:52Speaker 03

  There's all the different.

• 8:54Speaker 04

  Now there's a cartoon and there's about four different TV shows of Star Wars and there's another movie about, I don't know, they'll start.

• 9:05Speaker 04

  That bloke that said it's a trap. Like they'll do an origin story of him soon, wouldn't they?

• 9:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, but that's fair.

• 9:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, would you see, would you want that?

• 9:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'd watch It's a Trap.

• 9:14Speaker 04

  It's a trap. Um, but it it's a. We're we're worried.

• 9:19Speaker 03

  What's it's a trap?

• 9:21Speaker 04

  It's just, it's quite a fact.

• 9:22Speaker 03

  It's it's some, somebody says.

• 9:24Speaker 04

  Turn into a meme.

• 9:24Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 9:25Speaker 04

  You know, when the, um, when the X wing fighters are, what is it? No, it's when they're.

• 9:29Speaker 03

  I love how they ruin everything.

• 9:32Speaker 04

  It's that little weird alien guy, guy. And out of nowhere, there's all this sort of stuff going on and out of nowhere, it just cuts to him and he goes, and he just goes, it's a trap. It's just become quite a funny thing.

• 9:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:44Speaker 04

  That's it. That's all he's famous for. But you know for a fact that Disney are gonna, um, do his story at some point.

• 9:51Speaker 03

  Have you seen, um, have you seen the studio?

• 9:54Speaker 04

  No.

• 9:54Speaker 03

  It's really good. And there's this, there's this whole running storyline through it that they're gonna make Call Aide the movie.

• 10:00Speaker 04

  Right.

• 10:00Speaker 03

  Cause it's like, it's like anything that anyone's ever heard. It's like t-shirts, the movie. Who knows what t-shirts are? Come on, you know what they are? Movie.

• 10:10Speaker 04

  But you know what, like, life is becoming a parody, or has been a parody of itself. I mean, Pirates of the Carri- of the Caribbean. That's my, that's the sort of, my, the famous example.

• 10:21Speaker 03

  It was a ride, wasn't it?

• 10:22Speaker 04

  It was a ride.

• 10:22Speaker 03

  It was a ride.

• 10:23Speaker 04

  And they were like, can I buy the, I, the intellectual property of that ride and turn it into a film?

• 10:29Speaker 03

  One of my favourite Simon Bird memories is, we were with Simon Bird once and he, he just looked, um, he was just sort of, um, scratching his head and he went, oh, what is Angry Birds the movie gonna be about?

• 10:45Speaker 03

  It just seemed to sort of, you know, genuinely worry him. It was.

• 10:49Speaker 04

  No, but it will, it will be, it will be phones, the movie and stuff like that soon. Bunch of animated phones.

• 10:55Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, yeah. It must be, but it's interesting because it's like in that, in the studio, the Seth Rogen character, like, the whole thing about his character is like, he, he genuinely loves film, almost like in a kind of slightly tragic way, like he's a fan and he's always wants to be on the set and he's like, wants to meet the actors. And actually they just find him a bit embarrassing because he's like a suit and they just kind of wanted to go away. But then even he is like, it's a condition of him taking the job as head of the studio that he has to get this Call Aide movie off the ground because they think it's gonna be like the next Barbie or something.

• 11:30Speaker 04

  Yeah. But yeah, no, we're, we're worried. Bond fans are worried. Listen, maybe it all works out. Maybe the next Bond film comes out and it's brilliant and there was nothing to worry about and it was all good. But at the moment, just looking at trends and looking at how people operate and the money side of things and the fact that none of the broccolis are involved and it's, uh, there's no broccoli at all.

• 11:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:56Speaker 04

  Amazon don't have.

• 11:56Speaker 03

  Was there not, the thing is, was there not a new? Is the broccoli line now at an end? Is there, is there no, there no little baby broccolis or even brother broccolis? Who can?

• 12:07Speaker 04

  Um, well, it was, it was Barbara broccoli and she's, she's still with it, man. She's not, she's got a long, she's, she's.

• 12:14Speaker 03

  Okay, no, but okay, I see. So it's not that she's, yeah, I'm treating it as though.

• 12:19Speaker 04

  She still had work to do, Barbara.

• 12:22Speaker 03

  Is she gonna go and do other things, you think?

• 12:24Speaker 04

  But I think, I don't, ah, I, I, no, I assume, I assume, and I don't know anything about anything, Joe.

• 12:30Speaker 03

  It's a top notch name. I'll say that. It's up there with, it's better than The Sopranos. It took about eight years to realise that Sopranos wasn't just about some singers.

• 12:39Speaker 04

  Right.

• 12:40Speaker 03

  Everyone would just be going, are you watching The Sopranos? Be like, what? Shit, well, that threw me. That was enough.

• 12:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:46Speaker 03

  You've got to choose titles carefully.

• 12:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:48Speaker 03

  Cause that counted me out for year, many, many years.

• 12:50Speaker 04

  Sorry, what ti- what title did I say? Just their names broccoli? Does that freak you out?

• 12:55Speaker 03

  I can't take it seriously.

• 12:57Speaker 04

  Right.

• 12:57Speaker 03

  I know that's my, that is my problem. But as soon as you say broccoli, I'm like, I can see the florets.

• 13:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:05Speaker 03

  It's just true. I don't know. I, I don't, I cannot, I can't be alone in that. I know I'm not the only one.

• 13:09Speaker 04

  But what adds?

• 13:11Speaker 03

  But I'm the only one who's saying it publicly.

• 13:12Speaker 04

  Just go back, just go back on what we're talking about.

• 13:15Speaker 02

  So brave.

• 13:16Speaker 03

  Necessarily, but.

• 13:17Speaker 04

  Um.

• 13:19Speaker 04

  But if people like Theo James are publicly going, no, I don't fancy being Bond, that's not a good, that's not a good thing, is it?

• 13:28Speaker 02

  Well, he said, he said he's too old to be Bond. He thinks he's too old to be Bond.

• 13:32Speaker 04

  I think he's older than me.

• 13:32Speaker 03

  If they need, look, if, if they need someone who has no integrity.

• 13:36Speaker 04

  By the way, sorry, can I just quickly, yeah, I, I'm too old as well. That's why I can't do it.

• 13:40Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 13:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, I see. Yeah, yeah.

• 13:43Speaker 04

  If I have to spend the next fifteen years, like I'll be in my late fifties.

• 13:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:51Speaker 03

  I had one of those moments this morning where

• 13:55Speaker 03

  I thought in eight years I'll be fifty and just like white panic filled my body and head.

• 14:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, that, that's.

• 14:02Speaker 03

  And I thought, I've got to fucking get on it every day now. I don't know what, like, but just something. Mount, climb mountain every day. Beer, yeah.

• 14:10Speaker 04

  No, um.

• 14:11Speaker 03

  I've only got like, like eight good drinking years left.

• 14:16Speaker 03

  Got to get, get it into me.

• 14:18Speaker 04

  Well, you know, I'm forty next year, which I'm not too fussed about, to be honest with you. But now that you've said it.

• 14:25Speaker 03

  Forty's fine.

• 14:26Speaker 04

  Fifty sounds way worse than forty.

• 14:27Speaker 03

  Horrendous. Fifty's horrendous. Fifty's like, book the clinic.

• 14:33Speaker 04

  Yeah. Head over to Dignitas.

• 14:37Speaker 03

  Put your affairs in order. Nobody wants to see somebody north of fifty wandering around as though nothing's wrong.

• 14:45Speaker 04

  Put everything in a trust.

• 14:47Speaker 03

  Get it in a trust, get, tie it up, get the government's dead cold hands off it.

• 14:58Speaker 03

  Statues. Get that name chiselled into your child's college or whatever.

• 15:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:04Speaker 03

  Legacy.

• 15:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:05Speaker 03

  Whose music room is this? It's the Joe Thomas music room.

• 15:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:10Speaker 03

  Cause you're on the way out.

• 15:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:13Speaker 03

  Um.

• 15:14Speaker 02

  What sort of stuff have you been doing then to get on it since?

• 15:16Speaker 04

  Well, this was only this morning, wasn't it?

• 15:18Speaker 03

  Panicking.

• 15:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:20Speaker 03

  Um.

• 15:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's, give him a chance.

• 15:23Speaker 02

  I'm just checking.

• 15:24Speaker 03

  Well, no, nothing. No, nothing. No, what it is, is, no, there's nothing I can do. There's nothing I'm.

• 15:28Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 15:29Speaker 03

  Everything's turned up to max. Everything I'm capable of doing, I'm already doing.

• 15:34Speaker 04

  Right.

• 15:35Speaker 03

  I haven't got any inventions on the go. I'm not like, I've got to get the patent for that. I'm not sitting on a big theory like, you know, the theory like Darwin was, where he was like, I've got a brilliant theory, but I'm too scared to, haven't got any of that.

• 15:47Speaker 04

  I think we, I think you're looking at this the wrong way around. I think you could put a positive spin on this.

• 15:52Speaker 03

  Okay, okay.

• 15:53Speaker 04

  We've, me and you, we've done quite well. We've had, we've, we've nothing.

• 15:58Speaker 03

  You're right about that.

• 15:59Speaker 04

  We don't provide a service.

• 16:01Speaker 03

  No.

• 16:01Speaker 04

  We're completely unnecessary.

• 16:04Speaker 03

  I'm embarrassed. Frankly, I'm embarrassed.

• 16:05Speaker 04

  We've not contributed anything. There is nothing we do.

• 16:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:11Speaker 04

  That we, that should be monetised.

• 16:14Speaker 03

  I agree, I agree. I, I know.

• 16:16Speaker 04

  And yet here we are, baby.

• 16:17Speaker 03

  Here we are, look at that. Sitting pretty.

• 16:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 16:21Speaker 03

  New shoes on my feet.

• 16:22Speaker 04

  Exactly. Fucking expensive ones as well.

• 16:25Speaker 03

  Too expensive, given, um, I've got, the fact that I spent the money I did on these shoes is genuinely an economic and social problem.

• 16:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:34Speaker 03

  Worthless.

• 16:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 16:36Speaker 03

  I'm gonna go, um.

• 16:37Speaker 04

  But we're benefiting.

• 16:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 16:39Speaker 04

  The, the whole world is upside down. People like me and you shouldn't be, shouldn't be, be able to make money.

• 16:45Speaker 03

  I agree.

• 16:45Speaker 04

  We should have been left in a ditch.

• 16:50Speaker 04

  We shouldn't have been able to have children.

• 16:53Speaker 04

  We should have been sterilised, left in a ditch and then fitter people. And I mean that both physically.

• 17:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I mean fundamentally, just better looking people.

• 17:03Speaker 04

  Better looking people, yeah, that's what I meant. Yeah, fit, fit people.

• 17:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, we couldn't even do like pornography. People were like, turn it off.

• 17:09Speaker 04

  No.

• 17:10Speaker 03

  If they wanted to get people, if they wanted to get people, like, if they wanted to cure people of a pornography addiction, they could make them watch me and you.

• 17:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:17Speaker 03

  They'd be like, I'm cured, I'm cured. Get me, god, god. They'd be like, get me out of the room. I'm cured. I'm already cured. Already, yeah, I'm cured.

• 17:24Speaker 04

  I've genuinely thought about whether I could do pornography or not. There's the first stumbling block.

• 17:29Speaker 03

  Do you know why I can't do it? Genuinely, I've got too many hemorrhoids.

• 17:32Speaker 04

  Right, that's a problem. My, I, here's my, the, the first.

• 17:35Speaker 03

  Unless, uh, some people probably want that.

• 17:37Speaker 04

  The first stumbling bo- block is that you need, um, uh, you need a big penis if you want, if you're gonna be a guy, yeah. So I can't do that. But let's, that's fine. Don't worry about that. Say if that wasn't a problem. Then you've got to, um, like get an erection in front of a load of people. Then you've got to maintain that erection for an amount of time without you just

• 17:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:58Speaker 04

  going off too quick and stuff.

• 17:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:00Speaker 04

  There's loads of hurdles there that I'd never be able to.

• 18:02Speaker 03

  Whenever I think about me doing pornography, it's always gay pornography. Can I just say, that is just genuinely true. I'm like, I've found, I feel that there would be men

• 18:13Speaker 04

  You'd be going for both.

• 18:14Speaker 03

  Interested. I'd be going for men. That'd be my audience. I'm not, I've, I've, I don't know what, that is just, I've never ever thought.

• 18:21Speaker 04

  Straight women will wa- wanna watch you plough a woman. It'd be gay men that wanna see you.

• 18:27Speaker 03

  Of course it would be.

• 18:28Speaker 04

  Ploughed.

• 18:29Speaker 03

  Probably, yes.

• 18:30Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. Would you be a top or a bottom? Have you thought about that?

• 18:32Speaker 03

  I think I'm probably a bottom.

• 18:34Speaker 04

  Do you think so? I'd top from the bottom. That was a thing.

• 18:36Speaker 02

  A pa- power bottom.

• 18:37Speaker 04

  That was what I learned the other day.

• 18:39Speaker 03

  Power bottom, yeah.

• 18:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:40Speaker 03

  I agree. Of course the bottom's got power.

• 18:42Speaker 04

  You weren't here. I was talking about topping from the bottom.

• 18:44Speaker 03

  Yeah. If you're desired, you've got power. I mean, I, I don't, I really don't understand this kind of, this Sopranos thing about like, oh, if you're the one, what is it? You've got to be the one receiving the, what is?

• 18:55Speaker 04

  Well, it was Ralph Siffaretto, whatever his name is.

• 18:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, he used to go down on his girlfriend or wife or something.

• 19:01Speaker 04

  No, he would, he would top from the bottom. So he would like Tony's sister to like.

• 19:07Speaker 03

  Oh, okay.

• 19:08Speaker 04

  Stick a dildo up his arse and call him a bitch.

• 19:10Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 19:11Speaker 04

  She'd be behind him and going, I'm gonna put you out back on the, on the street whore. And he'd be like, yeah, I'm your whore. But those were his rules.

• 19:19Speaker 03

  Yes, oh, I see, okay.

• 19:20Speaker 04

  Her to do that. So it's not like.

• 19:22Speaker 03

  I understand, yeah.

• 19:25Speaker 02

  Hmm, I think I was here when you mentioned this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 19:28Speaker 03

  But there was also Junior.

• 19:29Speaker 02

  That makes you not compatible if you're both bottoms.

• 19:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:32Speaker 03

  No, we, yeah, we'd need to, we'd need to, but it'll be all right. I think, I'm sure we could find, I just don't know whether there's a market for it.

• 19:40Speaker 04

  No, there isn't, is there? That was the point we were making. Sorry, we moved on to whether we should actually do gay porn together or not.

• 19:48Speaker 04

  An original conversation. Yeah, we pivoted. We started off going, there's no way I'd be able to do porn. And now we're sitting here going, could we?

• 19:59Speaker 04

  Could we? Joe, Jay and Simon. Jay and Simon.

• 20:03Speaker 02

  There is a market for that.

• 20:05Speaker 03

  Of course, there's a market for that. Of course, there's a market for that.

• 20:09Speaker 04

  I don't know if that can go in, the podcast. I feel like we've gone even weirder than what we usually do.

• 20:14Speaker 03

  Gone too weird.

• 20:15Speaker 02

  I think that's fine.

• 20:15Speaker 04

  I don't have a problem with it going in.

• 20:16Speaker 03

  But the other one I want to mention with the Sopranos is the, is the,

• 20:21Speaker 03

  uh, Junior Soprano, he used to get in trouble because he used to perform fellatio on his wife or girlfriend and they were like, you shouldn't be doing that because it's gay or something.

• 20:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:33Speaker 03

  And like, that's.

• 20:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:36Speaker 03

  Whereas if you get a blowjob from another man, that's not gay because it's like you're in.

• 20:43Speaker 04

  This can't go in.

• 20:49Speaker 03

  That's what you'll say, that's what you'd say on the, that's what they'd be saying about your penis on the set of the porn movie.

• 20:55Speaker 03

  Well, that can't go in.

• 20:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:00Speaker 03

  Um, okay.

• 21:02Speaker 04

  I assure you, it can and it will, sir.

• 21:11Speaker 04

  Uh, welcome to Joe and James Fact Up, a podcast loosely about facts, but is more about the chats. If you want to get in touch, email us, hello at joeandjamespod.com. Or you can WhatsApp us, 07822 034330, or you can follow us on socials, at joeandjamespod. And you can watch all our full episodes on YouTube and Apple Podcasts. Just search for Joe and James Fact Up. Now, let's get fact up.

• 21:41Speaker 01

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• 22:15Speaker 05

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• 22:48Speaker 06

  1965, London. The world's largest uncut diamond has been stolen from the Natural History Museum. Shortly after, a young London window cleaner is arrested. They said, you're nicked, you're in a lot of trouble. But was he set up? Wanted ad led to fall of two cops. His family say he is guilty, but of a totally different crime. You're not going to end up going to prison, do you, kidlet? I'm JC Long and this is Rough Diamond. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts.

• 23:24Speaker 03

  Straight in, Joe. Unbelievable. It's time to go through the puns you didn't realise were puns. I think the band Boyzone is a pun on Boy's Own. Of course it is. Match of the Day is a pun on Catch of the Day. Fucking hell. I didn't realise that Girls Aloud was a pun for a while, as in girls are allowed in this club too. And people say, you know, there's no new land left to discover. Well, in the mind there is, is, is.

• 23:49Speaker 07

  Unbelievable, Jeff.

• 23:53Speaker 03

  This is from Scarlett on WhatsApp. Hi fellas, love the podcast. I have something that I think fits into your unbelievable section. It's not really a pun, but it is really fucking stupid of me. I always thought the saying trying to make ends meet was trying to make ends meet, as in M E A T.

• 24:10Speaker 04

  Right.

• 24:10Speaker 03

  I thought ends meet was the shit bits of me. I can see where you might get this. And you couldn't make enough money to even buy those.

• 24:20Speaker 04

  Trying to make ends meet.

• 24:22Speaker 03

  I see. Ends meet. Yeah, okay. Like a bit like burnt ends. Yeah. Or sausages, famously that ends meet. Anyway, someone said it to me a couple of years ago and I suddenly heard it the right way for the first time. I'll be 35 this year. Thanks, guys. Love Scarlett. Well, you know, these things happen and, um.

• 24:38Speaker 04

  What she thought, she thought she had a unbelievable, but she's just an idiot.

• 24:44Speaker 02

  Yeah. And she did follow that up with a second message. If you just scroll a little bit further down.

• 24:47Speaker 04

  Go on.

• 24:48Speaker 03

  Oh, sorry. Follow-up message. Yes. I've just had the thought that I don't actually think this is a pun. Still funny though? Yeah. I think that's, I think that's, um.

• 24:56Speaker 04

  Well, it's enough. It's enough to make it onto this podcast.

• 24:59Speaker 03

  I mean, it's more than enough and it stops us from talking about doing gay pornography together. So.

• 25:06Speaker 02

  That's not the point.

• 25:08Speaker 03

  But no, I mean, I think I can see, but there's, there's a lot of ones like that. And I mean, I've had ones where, you know, I've been quite, um, you know, quite late in life, only realising for the first time, you know, what they really mean. And I'll tell you what, people, there are other ones that people just still get wrong. Like for example, the proof is in the pudding is not the phrase.

• 25:30Speaker 04

  Right.

• 25:31Speaker 03

  The phrase is the proof of the pudding is in the eating. So what it means is don't judge a pudding by what it looks like, judge it by what it tastes like.

• 25:39Speaker 04

  Right.

• 25:39Speaker 03

  And time and again, time and again, I hear the proof is in the pudding. That is meaningless.

• 25:48Speaker 04

  I really hope I've not said that saying around you.

• 25:50Speaker 03

  You haven't said it.

• 25:51Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 25:51Speaker 03

  Because I would remember. People who are, I'm talking about people who are high up in society as well.

• 25:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:59Speaker 03

  Saying that.

• 26:00Speaker 04

  Yeah. Idiots.

• 26:02Speaker 03

  They are idiots really because it's like, it's like, you know, the phrase is, it's like saying instead of don't judge a book by its cover.

• 26:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:10Speaker 03

  The, the meaning being don't judge a book by like the picture on the front, judge it by what's inside. It's like if you were just trotting around going, as I always say, judge a book.

• 26:20Speaker 04

  Right.

• 26:21Speaker 03

  Like is that, it's like, just say the proof, the proof, the proof is in the pudding.

• 26:26Speaker 03

  You haven't even, you haven't got to the point of the saying where you're actually saying something useful.

• 26:31Speaker 04

  I've got a similar thing to you in this. There's a thing now where people on social media and stuff go, oh, that is so aesthetic.

• 26:42Speaker 04

  And I just don't think that's grammatically, grammatically correct.

• 26:46Speaker 03

  It's so aesthetic.

• 26:47Speaker 04

  Isn't it weird? I got the word grammatically wrong there.

• 26:52Speaker 03

  That's so aesthetic.

• 26:53Speaker 04

  Something can have an aesthetic.

• 26:55Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah. You're right. Yeah.

• 26:57Speaker 04

  Something can't be aesthetic. That's like saying, that's so look.

• 27:01Speaker 03

  Yeah. Or that's so height.

• 27:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:04Speaker 03

  Well, it's the same thing when football commentary, when they always say that's quality. That's like saying that's height, that's weight. You're like, what quality? You can't just say.

• 27:13Speaker 04

  Could be poor quality.

• 27:13Speaker 03

  Could be poor quality. Like I'm a quality footballer.

• 27:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:18Speaker 03

  You know, it's me.

• 27:18Speaker 04

  Certainly.

• 27:19Speaker 03

  Yeah. It's meaningless.

• 27:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:21Speaker 03

  Um.

• 27:22Speaker 04

  We've got some more, Joe.

• 27:23Speaker 03

  Okay. But that is good. Yeah. I mean, trying to get make, trying to make ends meet. In a way, that's actually not the worst one I've heard because it's sort of your sausages, et cetera. I mean, that was.

• 27:29Speaker 04

  Has Scarlett been saying, saying it like this with the?

• 27:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:34Speaker 04

  Connotation, what do you call it?

• 27:35Speaker 03

  I'm trying to make, I'm trying to make ends meet, as in.

• 27:37Speaker 04

  I'm trying to make ends meet.

• 27:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:41Speaker 03

  I was trying to end meet. Oh, okay.

• 27:42Speaker 04

  God, I'm struggling so much. I can't even make ends meet.

• 27:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:47Speaker 03

  It's a shit, for her, it's essentially, it's like saying, um, I haven't got a pot to piss in. It's like, I haven't even got the, I haven't even got the basic.

• 27:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:56Speaker 03

  Like.

• 27:57Speaker 04

  Yeah. Uh, never mind good meat.

• 27:59Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 28:01Speaker 04

  Can't even get end, end meat.

• 28:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:05Speaker 04

  Um, we got one here from Marcus, Joe.

• 28:07Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 28:08Speaker 04

  Go on.

• 28:08Speaker 03

  Okay. Um, Marcus, again on WhatsApp, I've just noticed something and not sure if it's a coincidence or a clever hidden pun. With the new Spider-Man recently released, I've come to notice his name, Peter Parker, meant to be a nod, possibly is, or is meant to be a nod to parkour. Basically how Spider-Man moves around, jumping from building to building. Marcus from Cornwall sent that in. That's very clever. Again, I'm not sure it is.

• 28:33Speaker 04

  We can get to the bottom of this super quickly. All we need to do is find out when parkour was.

• 28:41Speaker 03

  It's very clever. I'd say, I mean, I really.

• 28:43Speaker 04

  That came into existence.

• 28:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:45Speaker 04

  And then we can look up when Spider-Man first came out.

• 28:49Speaker 03

  Is it a pun on completed parkour? As in, I've, I'm Peter Parker. I've completed parkour. Cause he has completed it.

• 28:56Speaker 04

  I don't think any of this is true.

• 28:58Speaker 03

  I don't think it's true, but it's very clever.

• 28:59Speaker 04

  I think that Spider-Man came out in the sixties or something like that.

• 29:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:03Speaker 04

  And I don't think anyone was, I think people, back in those days, people had shit to get on with, didn't they?

• 29:08Speaker 03

  They actually had some things to do in the sixties. Yeah.

• 29:10Speaker 04

  So they weren't just fucking around.

• 29:11Speaker 03

  Civil rights movement, get to the moon, et cetera. They're not just trying to put stuff on fucking TikTok.

• 29:15Speaker 04

  They're not just like hopping off of.

• 29:17Speaker 03

  Just everyone, everyone do something with your life.

• 29:20Speaker 04

  Brick walls and things.

• 29:21Speaker 03

  Do something meaningful. I don't know why I could say that.

• 29:24Speaker 04

  Yeah. We all should. We should, we should all.

• 29:26Speaker 03

  Do something. What though? And that's where it runs out. That's where it run out.

• 29:30Speaker 02

  And we're back here again.

• 29:31Speaker 04

  Go on, what have we got?

• 29:32Speaker 02

  So we've got Spider-Man was created in 1962.

• 29:36Speaker 04

  Right.

• 29:36Speaker 02

  And parkour, it says it was started around the mid 2000s.

• 29:41Speaker 03

  Yeah. Okay.

• 29:43Speaker 03

  Sorry, Marcus.

• 29:43Speaker 04

  There you go, Marcus.

• 29:44Speaker 02

  So there we go.

• 29:45Speaker 04

  I feel like you could have done that, Marcus.

• 29:47Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 29:47Speaker 04

  But we wouldn't have got a message.

• 29:49Speaker 02

  Better on my time than his.

• 29:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:51Speaker 03

  Killed a, killed a couple of minutes.

• 29:53Speaker 04

  We've got one more from Donny.

• 29:54Speaker 03

  Good bird killer.

• 29:58Speaker 03

  Um, Donny, WhatsApp. Hey, Joe and James. Love your work. Do you know what? By Bird Killer. Do you know what that means? It's a way to kill time in prison because it's like riding the bird.

• 30:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. You do a bit of bird, don't you?

• 30:10Speaker 03

  Yeah. And, um, you know, the other, the other week, somebody said, I was trying to describe what this podcast is like to my friend. I think this podcast is a bit like what two blokes in a prison cell would talk about.

• 30:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:25Speaker 03

  I just think that's, to me, that's what it sort of is.

• 30:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, two guys with too much time.

• 30:28Speaker 03

  Two guys with too much time in the house.

• 30:29Speaker 04

  And not enough things to do.

• 30:31Speaker 03

  Exactly. But in that scenario, society actually has done the right thing and said they've got nothing to contribute. So just.

• 30:36Speaker 04

  Put them in prison.

• 30:37Speaker 03

  Put them in prison. Anyway, uh, Donny, WhatsApp. Hey, Joe and James. Love your work. Inspiring stuff. I've got an entry here for unbelievable, which might just get you questioning what does and does not qualify as a pun. Britney Spears once released a song called If You Seek Amy, which actually spells out fuck me.

• 30:59Speaker 03

  If you see.

• 31:00Speaker 04

  F U C K.

• 31:03Speaker 03

  If you see.

• 31:04Speaker 04

  K me. If you, if F. So if you said it in like a New Zealand accent or a.

• 31:11Speaker 03

  If you see K me.

• 31:15Speaker 04

  F U C K me.

• 31:16Speaker 03

  If you see K me. Oh, come down to Johannesburg. If you see K me.

• 31:21Speaker 04

  How are South African accents?

• 31:24Speaker 03

  Oh, why don't you come to Auckland? You can surely do New Zealand.

• 31:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:28Speaker 03

  You can do South Africa as well.

• 31:30Speaker 04

  If you see K me.

• 31:32Speaker 02

  That's nice.

• 31:35Speaker 04

  That is F U C K.

• 31:37Speaker 03

  It's like a hidden, um, pun.

• 31:39Speaker 04

  It's a South African hidden pun.

• 31:41Speaker 03

  We hide the puns.

• 31:42Speaker 04

  God left this place a long time ago.

• 31:48Speaker 03

  Very nice.

• 31:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:50Speaker 02

  I think Britney does it just in American, but yeah.

• 31:53Speaker 03

  She's not South African, is she?

• 31:54Speaker 02

  No.

• 31:54Speaker 04

  She's not.

• 31:55Speaker 03

  Not yet. If you see K me.

• 31:58Speaker 04

  I think that works, Donny.

• 32:00Speaker 03

  So it actually says like, fuck me. In order to get around some age restriction malarkey, says Donny.

• 32:05Speaker 04

  I don't think that's age restriction. I don't think, I don't think you have to be a certain age to be like.

• 32:10Speaker 03

  No, but maybe, no, no, no, but, you know, when you'd go on your friend's house at school and they'd have a rap album and it would say parental advisory explicit lyrics.

• 32:19Speaker 04

  I remember my, my mate had a T-shirt that said that.

• 32:21Speaker 03

  Oh my God. Probably meant that he was about to say something.

• 32:24Speaker 04

  He, uh, he would, he'd had a skateboard and stuff. He really didn't give a fuck about society.

• 32:29Speaker 03

  He didn't care. He didn't care. He didn't care. He didn't care for buildings unless you could skate on them.

• 32:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:34Speaker 03

  Or grind on. Is it grind?

• 32:35Speaker 04

  I think he's a sports journalist now.

• 32:37Speaker 03

  Is he?

• 32:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:38Speaker 03

  Does he work in, in, in, um, in skateboarding? Just sport generally?

• 32:43Speaker 04

  Sport generally, yeah.

• 32:45Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 32:46Speaker 04

  Went to, I think he went to.

• 32:47Speaker 03

  Well, I'd love to watch his language if he's in. He went to Cambridge.

• 32:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, because he hated society so much. He was so against it.

• 32:52Speaker 03

  Yeah. So what I'll do is I'll get on the social conveyor belt as possible. Um.

• 32:56Speaker 02

  Do you want to hear the bit of the Britney song?

• 32:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:59Speaker 03

  Yeah. Anyway, he's put, I hope this is of interest and generates plenty of tangents for Joe. Love, Donny, aged 34 and 10 months.

• 33:04Speaker 04

  Thanks, Donny.

• 33:05Speaker 03

  We have asked for ages.

• 33:05Speaker 04

  We have, yeah.

• 33:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:07Speaker 02

  Okay. So I think I can get this here.

• 33:09Speaker 03

  Redacted due to copyright infringement.

• 33:14Speaker 02

  So context wise.

• 33:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:15Speaker 03

  Are they begging to F U C K me? Yeah, it does. You know, to be honest, Donny, having heard it, I think you're right.

• 33:23Speaker 04

  Oh, he's absolutely right.

• 33:24Speaker 03

  He's right.

• 33:24Speaker 04

  Um, I will say this.

• 33:26Speaker 03

  Is it, what's the one, what's the one about like, um, E's are good, E's are good.

• 33:30Speaker 04

  He's Ebenezer good.

• 33:31Speaker 03

  He's Ebenezer good.

• 33:32Speaker 04

  Yeah. Naughty, naughty, very naughty.

• 33:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:38Speaker 04

  Is that EMF? E's are good, E's are good.

• 33:42Speaker 03

  He's Ebenezer good. Yeah. Um.

• 33:47Speaker 04

  No, EMF was Lager, Lager, Lager, Lager. Wasn't that there?

• 33:51Speaker 03

  Lager, Lager, Lager.

• 33:52Speaker 02

  The Shaman?

• 33:53Speaker 04

  The Shaman, of course it was. Ebenezer good.

• 33:57Speaker 03

  Is Lager, Lager, Lager, was it Lager, Lager, Lager Shout? What's that?

• 34:00Speaker 04

  Lager, Lager, La. I don't know.

• 34:03Speaker 03

  There was a lot of Lager stuff, wasn't there? There was, what's some?

• 34:05Speaker 04

  Oh, it was the nineties, man. It was all.

• 34:06Speaker 03

  But is it what Born Slippy has got Lager, isn't it?

• 34:09Speaker 04

  He drinks a drink.

• 34:10Speaker 03

  No, no, no. The one, Born Slippy by Underworld, the one that's in, um.

• 34:14Speaker 04

  Oh, is that Lager, Lager, Lager then? I'm getting my nineties dance. Do, do, do, do, do. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Who sang the song about Lager, Lager, Lager, Lager?

• 34:30Speaker 03

  There was so much Lager stuff.

• 34:32Speaker 04

  That was Chumba Wumba, what I was.

• 34:33Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, that, oh, that, yeah, the World Cup 98 computer game music. He drinks a Lager drink, he drinks a cider drink, he drinks a whiskey drink, he drinks a vodka drink.

• 34:42Speaker 04

  He sings songs that remind him of the good times. He sings songs that remind him of the bad times.

• 34:46Speaker 03

  Are those good lyrics? I'm going to say no.

• 34:48Speaker 04

  Danny boy.

• 34:49Speaker 02

  Uh, the song that's coming up is Born Slippy by Underworld. Is that right?

• 34:53Speaker 04

  Right. Is that the Lager Lager song?

• 34:55Speaker 02

  I think so.

• 34:55Speaker 04

  And who, and who's that by?

• 34:57Speaker 03

  Underworld.

• 34:57Speaker 04

  Underworld. What was the EMF song?

• 35:01Speaker 02

  EMF.

• 35:02Speaker 04

  Well, because this is going to drive me nuts and everyone listening. If you want.

• 35:06Speaker 03

  It's a funny episode so far. This is really.

• 35:08Speaker 04

  If you want good audience engagement, by the way, and I've done, I've, I've learnt this and I'm sure I've said this as well. Get a, um, music fact slightly wrong because people cannot help but jump in the comments straight away. And you end up with loads of comments because I've done stuff, I did stuff with Claire. I think I said like a Bee Gees song when I meant Dr. Hook or something like that. And it was like, oh, um, you said a Bee Gees, you said this was by the Bee Gees. Uh, if you, when you're in love with a beautiful woman, you know that song? And I was like, oh, that's the Bee Gees. And then they were like, oh, that's actually Dr. Hook. And I was like, leave it in.

• 35:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:43Speaker 04

  And everyone, everyone was like, oh, that's actually Dr. Hook.

• 35:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:47Speaker 02

  Dr. Hooked him in. Nice.

• 35:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:49Speaker 02

  Um, I think you might be thinking of, um, Unbelievable. Is that what you think?

• 35:53Speaker 04

  Unbelievable. Yeah, that's it.

• 35:55Speaker 02

  Which people have suggested for our unbelievable jingle, which.

• 35:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 35:58Speaker 02

  It's always in my mind, but for copyright reasons, that isn't why it's, that's why it's.

• 36:02Speaker 04

  EMF, I think they're from Basildon.

• 36:04Speaker 02

  Well, George, should we ask him?

• 36:05Speaker 04

  I think they're Essex boys.

• 36:07Speaker 03

  Oh, right. Okay.

• 36:08Speaker 04

  Again, might be wrong.

• 36:11Speaker 02

  I'm not going to check that.

• 36:13Speaker 04

  Maybe double check. I've got, they're, all the knowledge is in there somewhere, but it's all just over the years. It's my head, I've shaken my head too much.

• 36:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:23Speaker 03

  Well, that's all right. I mean.

• 36:24Speaker 02

  They're from Gloucestershire.

• 36:25Speaker 04

  They're from Gloucestershire. Right. The Peshmoat. They're from.

• 36:28Speaker 03

  The Peshmoat are from Basildon. They're from Basildon. Someone's from Basildon.

• 36:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, someone's got to be.

• 36:33Speaker 03

  If it was the case that no one was from Basildon, then I feel like, you know, you'd, but someone's from Basildon.

• 36:38Speaker 04

  Chris Rea is from Newcastle.

• 36:41Speaker 03

  Um, Keener from Battle.

• 36:43Speaker 04

  They're from Battle.

• 36:44Speaker 03

  Okay, just take that. Keener from fucking Battle.

• 36:47Speaker 04

  Right. It is time for fact check, Joe.

• 36:49Speaker 03

  Right.

• 36:50Speaker 04

  This is where we read a fact or a question that you'd like us to get to the bottom of. And then we're going to have a good old think during the break and we'll come back and let you know how true it feels to us to decide whether it passes our fact check.

• 37:01Speaker 03

  Okay. So this week's fact check comes from Liam.

• 37:04Speaker 04

  You're doing a lot of the heavy lifting this.

• 37:05Speaker 03

  I'm doing a lot, aren't I? I, I am actually. I don't know.

• 37:08Speaker 04

  When I said to you, we should do a podcast together, I said, you'll never have to read anything. I'll do all this. I'll do all the admin.

• 37:13Speaker 03

  And I don't know how I've ended up, but it's not, it can't be a good thing. Anyway, Liam sent us a WhatsApp. Uh, why do people sound so bored? Anyway, um, this Liam is a WhatsApp, um, why do people say bless you when you sneeze? Where did that come from? Why am I being blessed for firing snot out of my facial orifices? Don't get it, never have and can't be arsed doing any of my own research. All the best.

• 37:39Speaker 04

  Easy one. We'll be back after the break.

• 37:48Speaker 01

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• 38:22Speaker 05

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• 38:54Speaker 06

  Hello, I'm Luke Jones.

• 38:56Speaker 05

  And I'm Poppy Damon.

• 38:57Speaker 06

  We love all the strange true crime stories that you might flick through on a newspaper and think, hang on a minute.

• 39:05Speaker 05

  And this is Strangely, a podcast where every week we bring you the weirdest, wildest stories ripped straight from the headlines or our notebooks from both sides of the Atlantic.

• 39:13Speaker 06

  From the stories that you almost certainly missed in the headlines.

• 39:16Speaker 05

  To the ones you did see and thought, that's odd, but never got to revisit again.

• 39:20Speaker 06

  If you like strange news.

• 39:22Speaker 05

  Unexpected twists.

• 39:23Speaker 06

  And stories that linger on way longer than they should.

• 39:27Speaker 05

  Listen and subscribe now. Search for Strangely wherever you get your podcasts.

• 39:36Speaker 04

  Welcome back to Joe and James Fact Up and we were just fact checking on the behalf of Liam who wanted to know why do people say bless you when you sneeze? I believe this is from the Middle Ages where it's something to do with the devil trying to get into your body or escape or something like that and saying bless you sends the devil back to wherever it was supposed to come from.

• 40:01Speaker 03

  Yes, I heard a similar thing.

• 40:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:03Speaker 03

  It's.

• 40:03Speaker 04

  It's superstition, it's silly superstition.

• 40:06Speaker 03

  But no, but also.

• 40:07Speaker 04

  I don't say bless you, I can't stand it. Saying bless you to someone, and I know that people think I'm rude. You get strangers saying bless you.

• 40:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know.

• 40:17Speaker 04

  Sometimes if you sneeze on the train and someone will lean over and go bless you. I go, what do you fuck, what do you want?

• 40:23Speaker 04

  Fuck do you want, mate?

• 40:25Speaker 03

  I get a little bit like that when people tell me my shoes, shoelaces are undone. I'm like, just stay out of it.

• 40:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:30Speaker 03

  You're fine. Don't you worry about me. We're not very sociable, are we?

• 40:36Speaker 04

  No, but I do think it's, it's an old, it's a superstition. It's an old sort of archaic, very outdated, silly nonsense. Saying bless you is like the happy birthday song for me. I can't stand, I can't stand having a happy birthday sung to me. I can't stand singing it. I've got kids and I've got to do it twice a year.

• 40:56Speaker 03

  I have to say, I don't agree with you on that one.

• 40:58Speaker 04

  I don't like the happy birthday song.

• 40:59Speaker 03

  I just think at some point you have to honour some conventions, otherwise, and I, you know, you, some ritual can be good, I think. Just because it, it, it just provides a bit of structure for what might otherwise just turn into.

• 41:18Speaker 04

  I think you end up being in a situation where everyone feels awkward during the happy birthday song.

• 41:23Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 41:24Speaker 04

  And nobody comes out of it clean.

• 41:28Speaker 03

  No one comes out clean, yeah.

• 41:30Speaker 04

  I just, I would like to get rid of it, the happy birthday song, but it's fine. If you like it, that's fine.

• 41:36Speaker 03

  Okay, well, no, I mean.

• 41:37Speaker 04

  The worst thing is when it's your birthday and you, and you're working that day. It's awful.

• 41:43Speaker 03

  You don't like that?

• 41:44Speaker 04

  I don't at all.

• 41:45Speaker 03

  I quite like being given a, you know, whatever, bottle of champagne or something or.

• 41:50Speaker 04

  Hmm, I'd rather just not, I'd rather, don't like it. This is a good one though, because this is, this is different to our usual format in that we're not deciding whether something's true or not, we're getting to the bottom of something.

• 42:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:04Speaker 04

  For someone.

• 42:05Speaker 03

  We know people say it.

• 42:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I've, I've done it, I've done it for you.

• 42:09Speaker 03

  Do you think it's also to do with that, that was a time where there would be lots of, you know, you might be.

• 42:18Speaker 04

  Plague, plaguey.

• 42:18Speaker 03

  Plague, yeah. So basically it's like, like that looks like you might be getting the Black Death or something.

• 42:26Speaker 04

  That makes more sense.

• 42:27Speaker 03

  You didn't get the Black Death, it was, the whole thing was called the Black Death, wasn't it?

• 42:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:30Speaker 03

  It wasn't, it wasn't the diagnosis, you've got Black Death.

• 42:32Speaker 04

  No, I think they did, I think they did go, what's happened at number 12, Black Death? Um, but I do think, um.

• 42:42Speaker 03

  So it might have been a.

• 42:44Speaker 04

  That makes sense.

• 42:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:45Speaker 04

  What you said, that makes some sort of logical.

• 42:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:48Speaker 04

  Sort of thing, but what I've heard is that it's the devil, the devil's trying to do something. The sneeze has something to do with the devil.

• 42:56Speaker 03

  Well, I'm, I'm, I'm very willing to believe that they probably did think it was the devil.

• 43:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:01Speaker 03

  Who made you, who made you ill.

• 43:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:04Speaker 03

  It was.

• 43:04Speaker 04

  I hate the way Americans do Ringa, Ringa, Ringa Rose's song.

• 43:09Speaker 03

  What do they do?

• 43:10Speaker 04

  Well, because famously that song is from the plague.

• 43:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:15Speaker 04

  Ringa, ringa roses, a pocket full of poses. That's what the doctors, those, um, with the big beaks, what were they called?

• 43:22Speaker 03

  They're Venetian plague doctors.

• 43:24Speaker 04

  Plague doctors.

• 43:24Speaker 03

  And presumably the.

• 43:27Speaker 04

  Go on.

• 43:29Speaker 03

  Just what are they doing?

• 43:31Speaker 04

  Well, no.

• 43:31Speaker 03

  People must be freaked out enough as it is. Don't worry, everyone calm down, the doctor's here, fucking hell.

• 43:37Speaker 04

  They are terrifying, aren't they? They are really terrifying.

• 43:39Speaker 03

  Honestly.

• 43:40Speaker 04

  But didn't they keep herbs and flowers and stuff?

• 43:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, they had something in there, yeah.

• 43:45Speaker 04

  But they, uh, but yeah, so, but Ringa, ringa roses, pocket full of poses, a tissue, a tissue, we all fall down.

• 43:51Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 43:52Speaker 04

  Sneeze, sneeze, we all die, right? Americans go, ring, ring of roses, a pocket full of poses, ashes, ashes, we all fall down. What the fuck does that mean?

• 44:03Speaker 03

  Ashes is, yeah, yeah. Um, I thought that you were gonna say that, because another thing that I think Americans are a bit prone to doing is they don't like it if there's a sad or in some way horrifying ending to a, a lot of nursery rhymes are quite, kind of gory and brutal, the way that they, like.

• 44:26Speaker 04

  It's always about people getting their head bashed in and then.

• 44:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, and lots of stuff about like, lots of stuff about like babies, like, what is it? Like when the wind blows, the cradle will fall.

• 44:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:36Speaker 03

  And down, I mean, that's not even a bad one.

• 44:37Speaker 04

  Down will come baby, cradle and all.

• 44:39Speaker 03

  There's a Victorian saying, I assume it's Victorian, that I always thought was unbelievably harsh, where a kid says, I don't care. Um, and it goes, don't care was made to care, don't care was hung.

• 44:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:52Speaker 03

  It's a bit much, isn't it?

• 44:53Speaker 04

  It's always lessons, isn't it?

• 44:56Speaker 04

  Those, those songs are, those nursery rhymes are always lessons and the lesson is you'll die. So I assume Jack and Jill were having relations, right?

• 45:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know.

• 45:07Speaker 04

  Jack and Jill went up the hill.

• 45:10Speaker 03

  To fetch a pail of water, right?

• 45:12Speaker 04

  Why does, why did, why did, why did Jack and Jill both need to go? We know what they're up to.

• 45:17Speaker 03

  Why is a well at the top of a hill?

• 45:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, it should be low to the ground if anything.

• 45:22Speaker 03

  There's no well up there.

• 45:23Speaker 04

  Jack fell down and broke his crown, so that'll teach him.

• 45:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, I think that's it. And Jill came tumbling after.

• 45:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:30Speaker 03

  I don't know why she fell down as well.

• 45:31Speaker 04

  Because they were both getting up to no good.

• 45:33Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 45:34Speaker 04

  The lesson there is.

• 45:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:36Speaker 04

  To, to, don't.

• 45:37Speaker 03

  Keep your cock in your pants, basically. Say that then.

• 45:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:43Speaker 03

  Say that then.

• 45:43Speaker 04

  It's that his head that he broke, do you think?

• 45:48Speaker 04

  Broke his crown.

• 45:49Speaker 03

  Crown, is a crown now one of those words like gooch, where we don't really know? Jack fell down and broke his gooch.

• 45:56Speaker 03

  And Jill fell down and broke her cooch.

• 46:00Speaker 03

  Is that what we're saying?

• 46:01Speaker 04

  Maybe. What's the, what's the bless you thing, Lily, mate? Let's put this, let's put this to bed once and for all.

• 46:08Speaker 02

  Okay, so I've done a little bit of looking.

• 46:11Speaker 04

  You were exorcising demons.

• 46:13Speaker 02

  And you're kind of both in the right sort of ballpark. So I've, I've looked at the, got this from the Reader's Digest and they say there's sort of two accepted explanations that have come, so, so they could be two things that have come together to make our understanding, or it could be one of the two that have been floating around. So one of them is a shortening of the phrase, may God bless you, um, which is a sign that if you were ill or whatever, maybe you were ejecting an evil presence from your body. So you're blessing that, that, um, occurrence, but also, it also comes from the sixth century when there were things like the plagues and illnesses happening and they were considered to be a fatal symptom. So you were being blessed because you were cursed with a fatal symptom.

• 46:57Speaker 03

  I understand, so actually, so, so in that first variant.

• 47:00Speaker 04

  The second variant makes more sense to me than the first one.

• 47:03Speaker 03

  Yes, but the first one is interesting because it's almost like they're saying, oh, well done, like you've got, something's, right? No, but no, but it's right. But what's interesting is I do think that like in, in, um, in Ghostbusters.

• 47:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:18Speaker 03

  They're a bit devilish, aren't they? Ghosts, they're kind of from, you know, the other side a bit.

• 47:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:23Speaker 03

  And they are quite snotty, aren't they? So they are, they are a bit like snot.

• 47:26Speaker 04

  Slimer?

• 47:28Speaker 03

  Slimer, yeah, I'm, I'm sort of heavily leaning into Slimer really. They're not, they're not all like Slimer.

• 47:32Speaker 04

  Also, is it true Slimer was based on Belushi? It was like a homage.

• 47:39Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 47:39Speaker 04

  Because he died not long before they started making.

• 47:44Speaker 03

  Is that a good tribute?

• 47:45Speaker 04

  That's what I was thinking.

• 47:46Speaker 03

  Slimer?

• 47:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, big fat fucking greedy.

• 47:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:50Speaker 04

  Slimy thing.

• 47:50Speaker 03

  Yeah. It's kind of, you know.

• 47:53Speaker 04

  That was our mate.

• 47:54Speaker 03

  It's quite blokey, it's quite a blokey tribute, it might be all right. But I don't know if I was remembered as, as, you know, if I was honoured by, we've come up with a character that's sort of loosely based on you and it's a sort of, sort of snot goblin.

• 48:08Speaker 04

  It's the sort of thing Monty Python would have done.

• 48:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:13Speaker 04

  Well, whose funeral was it? Have you seen footage of, who was the bloke that played Brian?

• 48:19Speaker 03

  Yes, um.

• 48:21Speaker 03

  Uh, Jesus Christ.

• 48:23Speaker 04

  His name's gone for me, but that guy, I think it was his funeral, or it might have been one of the, one of the other ones, but.

• 48:30Speaker 03

  Who the fuck's that?

• 48:30Speaker 04

  I've seen footage of that funeral and it was just them lot all getting together, trying to be the funniest.

• 48:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're all sort of dicking about. Graham Chapman.

• 48:38Speaker 04

  Graham Chapman.

• 48:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:39Speaker 04

  Um, and I was just a bit like, oh, this is great. This is great comedy.

• 48:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:44Speaker 04

  But even I was a bit like.

• 48:45Speaker 03

  Come on.

• 48:46Speaker 04

  Come on.

• 48:47Speaker 03

  I mean.

• 48:48Speaker 04

  You're not on now.

• 48:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:50Speaker 04

  And I, and I just thought, God, you lot must have all been unbearable to have been around. I remember I went to, um, what was it? Was it improv? I know there's one in New York. Is there an improv in LA as well?

• 49:06Speaker 04

  It was one of the big, um.

• 49:08Speaker 03

  Is it Upright Citizens Brigade? They're not improv, are they?

• 49:11Speaker 04

  I don't know. I went to, I went to a, a, one of the big comedy, famous comedy places in LA once with a guy who I was working with at the time. He was a comedian.

• 49:20Speaker 03

  Right.

• 49:21Speaker 04

  So I went to see him and then they all do their bit. They all do like 15 minutes or 10 minutes or whatever. And then they come off and they all just hang out by the bar and everyone there was just on.

• 49:34Speaker 03

  Oh, dear.

• 49:35Speaker 04

  And I was just like, guys.

• 49:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:37Speaker 04

  This is my night off.

• 49:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:39Speaker 04

  I just wanted to have a beer, watch a bit of comedy or whatever. And now we're hanging out with you lot. Relax. I get it. You're all fucking comedians.

• 49:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:45Speaker 04

  And they're all like, all sort of bitching and slagging each other off when one of them leaves or something, but then all trying to be, it was a weird night of my life that was. It was very bizarre.

• 50:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:00Speaker 04

  I'm, I'm not a stand-up comedian.

• 50:02Speaker 03

  You were caught in a gun battle, basically. Well, no, you know, you're very, you're very funny, but, but you presumably hadn't gone there for a sort of battle of wits.

• 50:11Speaker 04

  No, yeah, it was, it was, yeah, it was everyone battling.

• 50:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:15Speaker 04

  It was like a fight. It was like, it was like a really weird.

• 50:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:19Speaker 04

  Silly fight.

• 50:20Speaker 03

  But no, I think it's hard. I think comedy and in a way, I think competitiveness and comedy are two things that, that just don't belong together. The whole point about comedy is that, that isn't competitive. It's like, there isn't a winner. I don't, I just don't think there, like, it's.

• 50:36Speaker 04

  The thing I love about comedy and working in comedy is that it's, um, all that stuff. So specifically thinking about when, when we were making the in-betweeners and, and us four boys together and.

• 50:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:51Speaker 04

  There was something so, so it was like therapy. It was like therapeutic. Cause you sort of go, all those things in your life that you should never, that happened to you and you go, right.

• 51:05Speaker 04

  I don't think anyone saw that happen to me, so let's never bring that up again.

• 51:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:09Speaker 04

  They become sort of badges of honour, these sort of weird.

• 51:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 51:13Speaker 04

  And we'd, all four of us, like, we would, we would have a battle in the complete opposite way. It would be like, oh, if you think that's tragic.

• 51:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:22Speaker 04

  Here's what happened to me.

• 51:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 51:24Speaker 04

  And it becomes this thing, and then you end up laughing about it.

• 51:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:27Speaker 04

  And it becomes a thing in your life that you, that maybe should be embarrassing and should, you shouldn't, you know, that should keep you awake at night into something that is just fun. Like, I love that about comedy.

• 51:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, me too. I, me too. It's what I, is what I love about it. It's, it's like, it's kind of the inverse of trying to be impressive.

• 51:45Speaker 04

  Yeah. Cause that's not funny, being a winner and being impressive and being good looking. There's a few good looking American comedians knocking about at the moment. I'm like, you're too good looking, mate.

• 51:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:55Speaker 04

  You can't be a comedian. There's nothing funny about you.

• 51:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:03Speaker 04

  Shall I do a?

• 52:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, do your fact.

• 52:04Speaker 04

  Shall I do my fact?

• 52:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:05Speaker 04

  It's written on my phone because it's a screenshot of a, of a Instagram post.

• 52:10Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 52:11Speaker 04

  That I screenshotted straight away because, um, it was Sunday morning at 20 past eight when I screenshotted this.

• 52:17Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 52:17Speaker 04

  Uh, because, and I, and I don't know how to get a screenshot into a brief.

• 52:24Speaker 02

  I can, I can show you how to do that.

• 52:26Speaker 04

  It's fine. I'll read it off my phone.

• 52:28Speaker 02

  There's a fun way you can get text from an image. It's pretty clever.

• 52:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, I know. I can just copy and paste it, can I? Couldn't be bothered.

• 52:34Speaker 02

  That's all right.

• 52:35Speaker 04

  Um, but listen.

• 52:36Speaker 02

  Don't start putting in an effort now.

• 52:38Speaker 04

  This is, um, I watched a video. Um, and it's amazing. And it, it, it, it is real fact up. It is, this is classic fact up. When a predator tries to eat a sea, a sea cucumber, it can expel part of its internal organs through its anus as a defence. But back to anus. But the video I saw was amazing. It basically like its stomach and fucking intestines and stuff. He just shat it out and the fish is looking at this thing going, what the fuck is that? And the sea cucumber's halfway to China. I don't know. Um.

• 53:18Speaker 04

  Although this looks like a fatal injury, the animal survives and begins regenerating the organs it lost. Over the following weeks, it rebuilds much of its internal system.

• 53:27Speaker 03

  So it does lose, it does wave goodbye.

• 53:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:31Speaker 03

  To this bit of its internal organs. It doesn't.

• 53:33Speaker 04

  I suppose it's like a lizard.

• 53:34Speaker 03

  It doesn't scoop it out and then suck it back in again.

• 53:35Speaker 04

  You know, when lizards, their tails drop off and stuff.

• 53:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:39Speaker 04

  I saw one of those when I was in America.

• 53:43Speaker 04

  I saw a lizard's tail on the street and it was like flapping about.

• 53:48Speaker 03

  Just the tail?

• 53:48Speaker 04

  Just the tail. Yeah. I don't know where the lizard had gone.

• 53:52Speaker 03

  My goodness.

• 53:53Speaker 04

  Isn't it great? And, and world amazing.

• 53:56Speaker 03

  It is amazing just to see the tail.

• 53:57Speaker 04

  I just thought, I thought.

• 53:58Speaker 03

  No, that's, that's, yeah, it's good. I mean, again, it's.

• 54:00Speaker 04

  Saw the word anus and I thought, God.

• 54:01Speaker 03

  No, good. Again, it's good. I mean, oh, yeah, genuinely, the, the fact, having, going from just having one exit point that's also the entry point and everything just kind of going in and out of that membrane, to going to having a mouth and an anus is a significant step forward for animals.

• 54:22Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 54:23Speaker 03

  Uh, and.

• 54:24Speaker 04

  One small step for animals.

• 54:26Speaker 03

  It's one small step for animals and one giant leap for Joe and James Fact Up.

• 54:29Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 54:30Speaker 03

  Um, because also it means you've got a front and a back. And it, it, it makes it possible to do that joke about worms. Where you say, how do you tell which end, which end is the head? And you put it in flour and wait till it farts.

• 54:41Speaker 04

  Yeah. What if it coughs?

• 54:43Speaker 03

  And Bill can just say, what if it coughs?

• 54:46Speaker 03

  But, you know, if it wasn't for the anus and the mouth, he wouldn't be able to, wouldn't even have a shot.

• 54:50Speaker 04

  Hey.

• 54:50Speaker 03

  Wouldn't have a hope in hell.

• 54:51Speaker 04

  Life would be fucking boring without the anus and the mouth.

• 54:54Speaker 03

  It, it certainly would.

• 54:55Speaker 04

  That's going to be the title of our film, Joe. Um, we've got a, before we go, Joe, we've got some, we've got an extra little voice note from someone, and I believe I'm pronouncing this correctly, called Soru.

• 55:08Speaker 02

  Soraya.

• 55:09Speaker 03

  Soraya.

• 55:10Speaker 04

  I worked with, okay.

• 55:11Speaker 03

  Okay. Well, maybe James is.

• 55:13Speaker 02

  Well, we'll find out.

• 55:15Speaker 04

  I worked with someone who has that name and she told me how to pronounce her name. The way she described it to me, it's like saying you're apologising to someone.

• 55:24Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 55:25Speaker 04

  She's like, it's like you're saying, sorry, you.

• 55:26Speaker 03

  Sorry you. That's good. That works for me. Cause I'm constantly, constantly saying that. So, yeah.

• 55:33Speaker 06

  Hi, Joe and James. It's Soraya from Norfolk here. I was just wondering, um, this might be a bit of a peek behind the curtain, but is the little bit at the end where you say facts, chats, and for example, vampire bats, is, is that Queen Lily May listening intently throughout the episode and desperately trying to find something to put at the end?

• 55:55Speaker 04

  This is desperate.

• 55:55Speaker 06

  Is she doing that?

• 55:57Speaker 04

  This is desperate.

• 55:58Speaker 06

  Cause if she is, I feel like that is the only option. I'm, I'm really impressed. So could you just let me know?

• 56:05Speaker 03

  Okay. I don't know. Sorry.

• 56:06Speaker 02

  Let it go, let it go.

• 56:08Speaker 06

  And then you say facts, chats, and then something that you just randomly mentioned earlier, uh, that clearly isn't scripted most of the time. I just wonder how, you know, the genius sort of happens. So if you can let me know, that'd be amazing.

• 56:23Speaker 03

  Right. That's pretty, that's pretty shameless that you made to put in.

• 56:26Speaker 04

  This is really tragic.

• 56:28Speaker 03

  Um, so it's.

• 56:32Speaker 04

  You've created a whole section of the podcast just so that we could just.

• 56:36Speaker 02

  I wanted her question to get answered and I, I had to take an unbiased view.

• 56:40Speaker 04

  You could have replied. You could have just replied.

• 56:42Speaker 03

  Reply privately.

• 56:43Speaker 04

  You could have replied privately.

• 56:44Speaker 02

  She asked you.

• 56:46Speaker 04

  Uh, yes, Queen Lily May does come up with those.

• 56:48Speaker 03

  Yes. She has to listen. And I will say, I couldn't do it. Cause I can never remember anything we've said.

• 56:54Speaker 04

  No.

• 56:54Speaker 03

  By the end.

• 56:55Speaker 04

  We don't, we have had to cut out a part of the script where we go, what have we learnt this week, Joe? Because I couldn't remember what we'd been talking about. So we've just done away with that.

• 57:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:07Speaker 04

  Um, but yes, those bits at the end.

• 57:09Speaker 03

  Yes, she does. She does do that.

• 57:12Speaker 04

  She does do that and more. Queen Lily May does a lot of stuff. If there's anything good about this podcast, it's because of Queen Lily May. Is that what you wanted?

• 57:20Speaker 02

  Yeah. Actually, I listened to an episode that I wasn't here where you were talking about the award.

• 57:24Speaker 03

  Having a go at the other fucking people.

• 57:26Speaker 02

  No, no, no. Whoa.

• 57:27Speaker 03

  Just wait a minute.

• 57:28Speaker 02

  You hold your horses right there.

• 57:30Speaker 03

  This better start making sense.

• 57:32Speaker 02

  Yeah. And it will, will, you were talking about how the production are good on the podcast.

• 57:39Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 57:40Speaker 02

  Which is lovely, but I did think I was going to get a name check.

• 57:44Speaker 04

  You weren't here.

• 57:45Speaker 02

  I know. And I was forgotten about and I was, and I was upset.

• 57:48Speaker 04

  You were fucking about with cows or something.

• 57:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:51Speaker 02

  Am I not allowed a break?

• 57:54Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 57:55Speaker 04

  Girls allowed a hobby.

• 58:03Speaker 03

  Um, right. Can I just say, thank you.

• 58:06Speaker 04

  I know. It feels forced now.

• 58:08Speaker 02

  Yeah. It is forced. You got a problem with that?

• 58:12Speaker 04

  Could I? Yeah. Say it. Say thank you, Queen Lily May.

• 58:16Speaker 03

  Thank you, Queen Lily May, for everything you do.

• 58:18Speaker 04

  Right, on that.

• 58:19Speaker 03

  You happy now?

• 58:19Speaker 02

  And it shouldn't have taken Soraya to make that happen.

• 58:22Speaker 04

  On that note, we'll call it a day, shall we? We hope that you've learned something or at least had a nice time. We'll be back next week armed with more facts, chats and snotty, doesn't work in my accent.

• 58:34Speaker 02

  Give it a go.

• 58:36Speaker 04

  You want me to go northern?

• 58:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:38Speaker 04

  We'll be back next week armed with more facts, chats and snotty blasts.

• 58:45Speaker 02

  Bit of fun.

• 58:46Speaker 04

  And don't forget.

• 58:46Speaker 03

  Quite Scouse that. Snotty blasts.

• 58:50Speaker 04

  And don't forget, you can get in touch with us if you'd like us to fact check something that feels true to you or with whatever nonsense you'd like to tell us about by emailing us, [email protected], WhatsApp us, 07822 034330, or you can follow us on social media, at Joe and James Pod and head to the podcast description if you've already forgotten those details. We'll be back next week. Bye, guys.

• 59:12Speaker 03

  Bye.

• 59:25Speaker 01

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• 59:59Speaker 04

  Help I Sexed My Boss is the podcast where manners meets mayhem.

• 1:00:02Speaker 01

  I'm William Hanson.

• 1:00:03Speaker 04

  I'm Jordan North.

• 1:00:04Speaker 01

  And together we take on the hilarious challenges of modern life. William's the arbiter of etiquette. And Jordan's the chaotic yin to my perfectly polished yang. So if you want laugh out loud stories and brutally honest moments, then you'll love Help I Sexed My Boss. Watch and listen every Tuesday and Friday. On YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts. Just search Sexed It. Be warned, it's a bit rude.