Tough Love, Parenting And The Marvel Universe

Is Romesh really the weakest link? In this episode of Wolf & Owl, Romesh questions whether he's the "dud" in his various projects, but Tom is having absolutely none of it. The pair discuss Romesh's success, behind the scenes at BBC Radio 2, and whether he's giving himself enough credit. Elsewhere, Romesh and the boys get into parenting, tough love and pets, while Tom finds himself struggling with household duties while his wife recovers from surgery. But it wouldn't be Wolf & Owl without a tangent. The boys digress into a big debate on The Marvel Universe. Plus, there's a discussion on the power of having a growth mindset and chat of haircuts, plugs, and a surprising AI French crop moment. Another week, another collection of questionable decisions from Wolf & Owl. A Ranga Bee Production in partnership with Platform Media. If you've been thinking about therapy, BetterHelp can help you take the first step. Sign up and get 10% off at https://www. BetterHelp.com/wolfowl Chapters 00:00 Intro 01:35 Who’s the best on Radio 2? 04:51 What’s up at Tom’s house 06:36 Rom’s family situation 13:40 Parenting and pets 17:40 A Marvel movie digression 21:36 Tom’s autobiography 22:05 Rom explains Marvel 26:28 Growth mindset 28:55 Sweet Bobby Freeman 31:00 Rom’s new addiction and hair maintenance 33:20 Tom's Outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Yo!

• 0:01Speaker 01

  Hey, what's up?

• 0:02Speaker 00

  What's up in the house, yo?

• 0:04Speaker 01

  It's Wolf and Al, baby. Tom's got Stetson on.

• 0:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 0:09Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 0:09Speaker 00

  Really found myself into this country music.

• 0:11Speaker 01

  You're really into country, aren't you?

• 0:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 0:13Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 0:28Speaker 00

  How are you feeling?

• 0:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, good, thank you.

• 0:30Speaker 00

  What's going on?

• 0:32Speaker 01

  Nothing, I'm just sort of thinking, how...

• 0:35Speaker 01

  Has this got legs going forward?

• 0:37Speaker 00

  With the podcast?

• 0:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:38Speaker 00

  What, you think I'm gonna vent off and do my own country music one?

• 0:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, if you were to do a solo podcast, because obviously I've got one, which is not really solo.

• 0:46Speaker 00

  I don't know what I'd do, yeah.

• 0:47Speaker 01

  People prefer Mum to Me and people prefer You To Me on this.

• 0:50Speaker 00

  That's not true.

• 0:51Speaker 01

  And people prefer Rob To Me on Rob and Roche Versus. I'm starting to wonder if I am the dud in everything I do.

• 0:56Speaker 00

  No, you're not. No, you're not. That's what you're doing at Amazon with all the influencers, you're the best thing.

• 1:02Speaker 01

  I'd be lying if I said it hadn't crossed my mind. That I'm... I basically do a number of projects in which I'm the weakest link in all of them.

• 1:09Speaker 00

  Literally, yeah, wow. You're not the weakest link in the weakest link. You're the strongest thing in that show, by a long way.

• 1:16Speaker 01

  Well, I'm the host. It's not, it's not a huge compliment.

• 1:24Speaker 00

  Depending on who's on, I guess.

• 1:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26Speaker 00

  That episode with Kate Garraway.

• 1:29Speaker 00

  Garraway's.

• 1:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, the Radio 2 special.

• 1:35Speaker 00

  How is Radio 2, you're the best thing on that?

• 1:37Speaker 01

  No, not by a long shot.

• 1:39Speaker 00

  Well, you think Sally's better than you?

• 1:40Speaker 01

  I think Sally's better than me on my show, yeah.

• 1:42Speaker 00

  Sally Traffic is very funny, actually.

• 1:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, there you go.

• 1:44Speaker 00

  She's really sweet, isn't she? What a lovely person.

• 1:46Speaker 01

  Yes, yeah, we all know about your fetish.

• 1:49Speaker 00

  Um, she's always got a gift with her, hasn't she?

• 1:51Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 1:52Speaker 00

  Well, she's, every time I've been there, she's got a gift, which is nice.

• 1:54Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 1:55Speaker 00

  She's always given me a gift, like some food or a little drink or something.

• 1:58Speaker 01

  Does she?

• 1:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 2:00Speaker 01

  Sally Traffic always gives you a gift?

• 2:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, when I, when I asked her, she got some doughnuts.

• 2:05Speaker 01

  Right, that wasn't her.

• 2:07Speaker 00

  I wasn't, no, she's just taking credit.

• 2:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was from the head of Radio 2.

• 2:11Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 2:12Speaker 01

  And it wasn't, they weren't for you.

• 2:14Speaker 00

  I had three.

• 2:14Speaker 01

  So, so your interpretation of that is that Sally gave you some doughnuts?

• 2:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, they were for the presenters.

• 2:22Speaker 00

  Well, she offered me the doughnuts.

• 2:24Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 2:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:24Speaker 01

  And you had three?

• 2:25Speaker 00

  Yeah, because I was waiting for ages.

• 2:27Speaker 01

  That was for the whole of the Saturday team?

• 2:31Speaker 00

  I was so hungry, I had breakfast before I got there.

• 2:34Speaker 01

  Right.

• 2:35Speaker 00

  I got there and also I get quite anxious that I'm gonna sort of, you know, it's a lot to live up to when I'm on Buddy Ray.

• 2:40Speaker 01

  By the way, I haven't told you this.

• 2:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:42Speaker 01

  Because I know you don't listen to the show. Do you listen to the show?

• 2:45Speaker 00

  No, yeah, Saturday mornings, I'm playing football, taking Grace to football.

• 2:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. So, do you know you did a jingle?

• 2:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:50Speaker 01

  I start every show with that jingle now.

• 2:52Speaker 00

  You're joking?

• 2:53Speaker 01

  I'm not.

• 2:54Speaker 00

  Are you?

• 2:54Speaker 01

  No, I'm not joking.

• 2:55Speaker 00

  Well, the Bridges one, that Bridges one is insane.

• 2:57Speaker 01

  I wonder if I can...

• 2:58Speaker 00

  The Bridges one is one of the best.

• 3:00Speaker 01

  It got produced up, let me see if I can find it.

• 3:02Speaker 00

  Produced up, that's the worst thing you can hear.

• 3:04Speaker 01

  No, we used all your vocals, but we added a bit of...

• 3:16Speaker 00

  Wow!

• 3:24Speaker 01

  Every week we start the show like that.

• 3:25Speaker 00

  Wow, that is pretty, that's pretty...

• 3:26Speaker 01

  So, thank you very much, Tom.

• 3:28Speaker 00

  Well, no, thank, I'm gonna be quite honest with you, that's the head of a legacy.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:32Speaker 00

  I bang that together, that was one take.

• 3:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:34Speaker 00

  The Bridges one is, was a highlight to follow, by the way.

• 3:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, but we start the show every week, don't we?

• 3:40Speaker 00

  Well, that's an incredible thing.

• 3:41Speaker 01

  So, thank you very much.

• 3:41Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 3:42Speaker 01

  Uh, what were we talking about?

• 3:42Speaker 00

  Slightly need to talk to Flo about, sort of, if there's money in that.

• 3:46Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 3:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:47Speaker 01

  Well, do you, are you owed money when I really had to convince people that you were big enough to come on?

• 3:56Speaker 00

  You get some big hitters on there, I will say that. I will say that, you got some big hitters. Um, you have that place at your disposal.

• 4:03Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, the point is, I'm not the biggest thing at Radio 2.

• 4:07Speaker 00

  You're not the, no, but no, you can't.

• 4:09Speaker 01

  I'm the...

• 4:09Speaker 00

  You're actually, no, you've got to be close now.

• 4:11Speaker 01

  I'm the dud.

• 4:12Speaker 00

  You're not the dud.

• 4:13Speaker 01

  I'm the dud, I'm the duds, I'm the duds.

• 4:16Speaker 00

  No.

• 4:16Speaker 01

  In fact...

• 4:17Speaker 00

  Can I say?

• 4:18Speaker 01

  You know I'm retiring?

• 4:19Speaker 00

  You're like, you're playing it a little bit there. You're playing it there.

• 4:23Speaker 01

  I'm not playing it, you know I'm retiring soon?

• 4:25Speaker 00

  You're not retiring, there's retiring there.

• 4:27Speaker 01

  The dud, the dud would be a good tour show, no?

• 4:30Speaker 00

  That would be a good tour show, because it won't be a dud.

• 4:32Speaker 01

  The dud.

• 4:33Speaker 00

  Can I, I think you're very harsh on yourself. I think you're, you're an incredibly talented person.

• 4:37Speaker 01

  You're very harsh on yourself.

• 4:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, but rightly so. I have to be.

• 4:41Speaker 01

  Why?

• 4:42Speaker 00

  Because I'm fucking...

• 4:43Speaker 01

  Look at how good you look.

• 4:45Speaker 00

  I'm not eating enough, because at the moment, I'm fucking, I'm literally, I'm like, I'm like Cinderella at my house.

• 4:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, what's going on at your house now? So, obviously, we've heard about...

• 4:53Speaker 00

  Well, I've not been able to foray into my, my journey of becoming like a country music, like, country file.

• 4:59Speaker 01

  You've always been a country file to me.

• 5:04Speaker 00

  Um, I've not been able to slip inside that quite as much, I'd like, just because...

• 5:08Speaker 01

  Are you doing it on purpose?

• 5:09Speaker 00

  No, um, because at the moment, Catherine, Catherine's had her operation, completely feet up, bed bound.

• 5:18Speaker 01

  Her toe will return to completely normal, then?

• 5:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, well, no, never completely what it was. Tendons, yeah, if she's really lucky, but there's a lot of rehab to do.

• 5:27Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 5:27Speaker 00

  No driving, so, um, I'm doing everything.

• 5:30Speaker 01

  So, you're really gonna have to learn to drive, aren't you?

• 5:31Speaker 00

  I think I might have to, actually, by the way, yeah, that's a shout out, if anyone is out there who could, I, I, so, I've looked into it a bit, and being a giant, it's almost impossible to get a car that I can fit into to drive.

• 5:42Speaker 01

  You're not a giant, though, are you?

• 5:43Speaker 00

  I am, actually, by the way, can I say, I was with Rob Beckett the other day. He measured me. I've said for years, I'm six foot seven, I'm six foot eight.

• 5:52Speaker 01

  It's funny you say that, because I had to have a medical the other day, and they tell me I was five foot nine.

• 5:55Speaker 00

  You're not five foot nine, no way.

• 5:57Speaker 01

  That's what they told me.

• 5:58Speaker 00

  You're taller than that. You always feel really big to me. Yeah, but I've always, I always thought you were like six three or six four.

• 6:04Speaker 01

  I thought I was six foot dead on, anyway.

• 6:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, but I've always had you down, because people used to call you Big Rom, so I've always been like...

• 6:11Speaker 01

  Who called me Big Rom? Nobody called me Big Rom.

• 6:12Speaker 00

  Jay used to, Jay Redneck, who used to call you Big Rom, or he'd call you Big Man, like, yeah.

• 6:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, Big Man, he calls everyone Big Man, if he couldn't remember, he didn't remember my name for the first four seasons.

• 6:24Speaker 01

  That's where Big Man comes from.

• 6:25Speaker 00

  Um, six eight, yeah.

• 6:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:27Speaker 00

  So, I've shut up a bit.

• 6:29Speaker 01

  You're six eight?

• 6:29Speaker 00

  That's good, yeah, yeah.

• 6:30Speaker 01

  That's probably all the exercise you're doing and the diet.

• 6:33Speaker 00

  No, I think it's, I don't know what it is.

• 6:36Speaker 01

  Uh, I'm getting into a very tricky situation where the boy is now.

• 6:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, Theo is bigger than you.

• 6:40Speaker 01

  I've been holding off, and I've been denying it.

• 6:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:44Speaker 01

  We're now getting to the stage where both, not just Theo, Alex now.

• 6:48Speaker 00

  And Charlie's gonna be a big one.

• 6:49Speaker 01

  I am gonna be like that, talking to my sons.

• 6:52Speaker 00

  And you lose any kind of...

• 6:54Speaker 01

  Fucking, it's over, man.

• 6:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:56Speaker 01

  Any kind of...

• 6:57Speaker 00

  By the way, Theo's got a cornice about him.

• 7:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, he gets it from his dad.

• 7:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, he does, because you have got a cornice about you, you have, you have got a cornice. It's probably 90% from Lisa, but you have got a cornice about you. Alex has got, Alex, by the way, I adore Alex, but Alex is like a bit more, he's got, he could be chippy, which I adore.

• 7:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:15Speaker 00

  I've heard his voice notes.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:17Speaker 00

  Alex is gonna be very hard when Alex gets taller than you. Yeah, Alex. Yeah, you'll have to hope that that respect holds on. Charlie, an absolute saint, by the way.

• 7:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:27Speaker 02

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• 8:09Speaker 01

  Um, here's a little story about Alex.

• 8:11Speaker 00

  Hit me, I, you know, I can't have favourites.

• 8:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:14Speaker 00

  I love these boys. Alex has just got something about him that makes me...

• 8:17Speaker 01

  So, we've got a bit of a situation at the moment.

• 8:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:20Speaker 01

  Where Alex is, um, on his electronics till late into the night. So, he waits for us to go to bed, and he's like doing TikToks and stuff like that, which, there's a social media ban coming, so I don't know what he's gonna do about that.

• 8:32Speaker 00

  Social media ban?

• 8:32Speaker 01

  For under 16s.

• 8:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, oh my gosh.

• 8:35Speaker 01

  So, anyway...

• 8:36Speaker 00

  How old is he now, 14?

• 8:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:37Speaker 00

  Two, two tough years coming.

• 8:39Speaker 01

  So, every night, when it's bedtime, he brings in his phone and his iPad, and he puts them in our room, right?

• 8:46Speaker 00

  Right.

• 8:47Speaker 01

  And then he goes to bed.

• 8:50Speaker 01

  Two nights ago, Lisa wakes up, because she hears what she thinks is an intruder. Alex is crawling on the floor.

• 9:00Speaker 01

  Past the bed to get his iPad back.

• 9:04Speaker 00

  Oh my gosh.

• 9:05Speaker 01

  I know, so now we don't know what the hell to do, because...

• 9:07Speaker 00

  That's addiction.

• 9:08Speaker 01

  Well, he...

• 9:10Speaker 00

  By the way, her protocol wasn't to wake you with you, and we talked about this the other day on the podcast, so she didn't wake you, she checked to see if it was an intruder or...

• 9:17Speaker 01

  Well, no, she didn't, no, she, she discovered it was Alex pretty quickly, otherwise I think I would have been woken up.

• 9:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:23Speaker 01

  But, the point is...

• 9:24Speaker 00

  Did she wake you up about Alex?

• 9:25Speaker 01

  No.

• 9:26Speaker 00

  That's good of her.

• 9:27Speaker 01

  No, she told me the next day. So, um...

• 9:29Speaker 00

  Lisa is a saint, by the way.

• 9:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:31Speaker 00

  She didn't wake you up and go, guess what Alex has done, she's like, I'll let him sleep.

• 9:37Speaker 01

  I think she prefers me when I'm a sleeper, actually.

• 9:39Speaker 00

  You're a lovely sleeper, by the way.

• 9:41Speaker 01

  We've got one of those marriages where actually being unconscious, that's when it gets really charming. It's the waking hours.

• 9:48Speaker 00

  Who talked to you about this? You or Lisa?

• 9:51Speaker 01

  Well, we're trying to figure out what to do about it. I said to Alex, we now are in a situation where we can't trust you.

• 9:56Speaker 00

  Oh, you didn't say that.

• 9:58Speaker 01

  I did.

• 9:59Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 10:00Speaker 01

  Well, it has broken our trust, hasn't it?

• 10:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, it has.

• 10:02Speaker 01

  Yeah. So I said to him, we can't trust you. So now I'm thinking to myself, I said to him, now I don't know what to do because I can't hold you.

• 10:09Speaker 00

  You should never say that.

• 10:10Speaker 01

  Well, no, this, hear me, let me hear me out. I said, I don't know what to do because I can't hold you to your word now. Right? Because you.

• 10:18Speaker 00

  It's like he's living in Game of Thrones. You're like, by the way, I love this side of you. This, this is quite sexy.

• 10:24Speaker 01

  No, but I just said it.

• 10:26Speaker 00

  Sexy. By the way, I, now, by the way, with this tone, Alex, you've got a good care of years of Alex respecting you. You're using words like, yeah. I don't know if I can trust your word. It's like fucking being in a Scorsese movie.

• 10:36Speaker 01

  I know, but what I'm saying is.

• 10:37Speaker 00

  You know what? Um, I'll tell you, Alex, yeah. I don't know if I can trust your word anymore. I don't think, um. I don't think I can hold you to what you say, kid.

• 10:48Speaker 01

  It was sort of like that.

• 10:49Speaker 00

  Yeah. Alex is like, hey, hey, pop, pop, pop. Come on, pop. I make one mistake, huh? I make one mistake. You gotta hold me to that? You hold me to that? I ain't got no other options.

• 11:00Speaker 01

  Shut up. Shut the fuck up.

• 11:01Speaker 00

  Shut up, huh? Your mother wakes up in the dead of night. She thinks we got an intruder in the home. She's too scared to even wake her father, her husband.

• 11:10Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 11:10Speaker 00

  She's too scared to wake me. Then she, she's you slithering across the floor. You think that makes her feel? How do you think that makes me feel? Pop, pop, one more try, man. One more try. That's great.

• 11:23Speaker 01

  Yeah. Do you need me for the rest of this?

• 11:25Speaker 00

  No, I do. Cause yeah, without, yeah.

• 11:27Speaker 01

  Um, anyway, so I said to him, now I'm in the thing where I've got to physically separate from this stuff, like by putting it in a safe. I said to him, like, this is mad.

• 11:36Speaker 00

  We all know you've got four or five big safes in your house for your money.

• 11:39Speaker 01

  Yeah. I don't, this is something I should tell people. It's probably a dangerous thing to say. I don't believe in bank accounts. And so we just, we have this big sort of money vault and I jump into it at the end of the day like Scrooge McDuck.

• 11:53Speaker 00

  The house of actor and comedian Romesh Ranganathan was burgled last night.

• 11:58Speaker 01

  We, we keep it in Sri Lankan rupees because it's more notes.

• 12:02Speaker 01

  It just looks more impressive. It's a nightmare getting to go to the obu of a shawn.

• 12:06Speaker 00

  Every time you go to the test. Why don't you just get loads more of this? Yeah, but I jump in at the end of the night.

• 12:12Speaker 01

  I'm sorry. I can't. I know it's inconvenient, but I like to jump in at the end of the day.

• 12:16Speaker 00

  I've got what is called a money room and I know that makes me inaccessible to a lot of the people in Crawley.

• 12:20Speaker 01

  Yeah. Oh my God. Guys, guys, isn't it a nightmare when you're trying to pick which currency to keep your money room in? Am I right?

• 12:29Speaker 01

  You know, when you pick your swimming trunks that you're gonna wear to the money room?

• 12:31Speaker 00

  Tell us a joke about trainers.

• 12:36Speaker 01

  So, yeah, it's a bit of a, it's a bit of a tricky one, actually.

• 12:38Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 12:40Speaker 00

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• 14:51Speaker 01

  What's going on at your, so at your house?

• 14:53Speaker 00

  Can I say, but we've had a bit of this with Grace.

• 14:55Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 14:55Speaker 00

  But, but well, more of the, so at the moment, it's, it's full on. It's, it's, you know, cleaning, cooking all the meals. Making sure everyone's okay. Um, and, and so then I said to Grace, like, you know, but she's, she's got, she's got a very silly side to her. Yeah, no, she's, she's a, she's a Mickey taker.

• 15:15Speaker 01

  Right.

• 15:15Speaker 00

  So the other day, I was giving her a bath. She's messing around in the bath and then she tries to throw water on Catherine's cart, foot cast. I said, we can't do that. You shouldn't do that.

• 15:25Speaker 01

  But she did it on purpose?

• 15:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:26Speaker 01

  Right.

• 15:26Speaker 00

  And then she just sort of looks at me like, oh, whatever. And then, um, I was like, so then I had to pull her aside and say, look, while mommy's ill and while mommy's.

• 15:34Speaker 01

  Look, your mother's ill. Your mother's fucking ill, you know? Hey, we got a problem with your mother here. We don't know if she's gonna make it.

• 15:41Speaker 01

  Her foot comes off over shut.

• 15:46Speaker 01

  Daddy's gonna go and find her wife with two feet.

• 15:50Speaker 00

  So I said, look, we need to, you know, to help daddy out and not, but you know, when I say to you not, cause she was trying to do a thing where she was dropping into the bath and slipped and nearly fell over.

• 15:58Speaker 01

  Right.

• 15:59Speaker 00

  In the bath. So I'm like, look, I'm all up for you having, you know, but you've got to be careful because mommy can't get you out if you fall in the bath.

• 16:05Speaker 01

  We're all up for you having a good time, sweetheart.

• 16:08Speaker 00

  Well, this is a good time for a good time.

• 16:10Speaker 01

  I know you've seen dad do it a lot.

• 16:12Speaker 00

  Your dad makes his money from being an idiot.

• 16:14Speaker 01

  This is how, you know, if you can monetize it, you do it. But until then, you're gonna be a good girl.

• 16:20Speaker 00

  Alex is, Rob is his boy Alex. He's got himself a phone and he's making money out of being a wallet. Um, but she, and she just sort of shuns it up. I had an awful, recently the cat even, you know, like you realise that nothing, no one in the house has any respect for you. So. Our cat doesn't like me. He loves Grace. He loves Catherine. He's, it's like an alpha thing. I don't, do you have this with Reggie, the dog?

• 16:42Speaker 01

  So in our house, Reggie prefers Lisa, Ivy prefers me.

• 16:47Speaker 00

  Yeah. Well, Mary won't, like, you know, he'll sometimes walk behind me on the side. I love him and he'll give me a little scratch on the net. You know, he, he just, he's not having me. So a couple of nights ago.

• 16:59Speaker 01

  You think it's your musk or something?

• 17:01Speaker 00

  I just think it's an alpha thing.

• 17:02Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 17:03Speaker 00

  And I'll be sitting with Catherine.

• 17:04Speaker 01

  He believes he's the husband and father of the house.

• 17:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. And in a lot of ways, he's a lot more respected than I am.

• 17:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:10Speaker 00

  Um, he gets out, he's, he's a house cat and he gets out there, like, he snuck out through the window. And I'm trying to reason with him at midnight.

• 17:19Speaker 01

  What sort of things are you saying?

• 17:21Speaker 00

  I'm going, come on, mate, come on, come on, come back through. He's just sat there staring at me like that.

• 17:26Speaker 01

  Sophisticated an argument.

• 17:26Speaker 00

  No, no, no, no, no. And then I'm going, come on, like, please, please, mate, please don't run off. There's foxes down here. You don't want to get in. You don't, you know, it's pathetic. You don't want to get in a row with a fox. Fox is horrible. Come on, mate. Come in, come in. And he literally just walks like he's gonna jump off the edge and then walks back. Then I try and grab him and he ju- jumps out and now I'm half out the window. Um, and I had to wake Catherine and go, Mary's crying out the window and he won't listen to me. And she's like, oh, for crying out loud. Literally she walks out like, goes into the window in her crutches and goes, Mary, come here. And he literally comes running and jumps in the window. I'm like, you little fucking prick.

• 18:05Speaker 01

  That's a bad look for you.

• 18:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, he's got no respect for me. Yes, completely emasculating. He's like, he did.

• 18:11Speaker 01

  You look pathetic in that.

• 18:12Speaker 00

  Yeah. Well, I spend most of my life.

• 18:14Speaker 01

  It's sad, actually.

• 18:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, it is. Yeah. And that's what I'm saying.

• 18:17Speaker 01

  Like Catherine's got up onto a crutches.

• 18:18Speaker 00

  I wish to God I was as brazen as you to like sleep through this ordeal that Lisa went through and then the next.

• 18:25Speaker 01

  I don't think brazen's the right word.

• 18:27Speaker 00

  Right. And no, but the next day, you, you garnered so much respect in that house because of your speech. That speech you do.

• 18:34Speaker 01

  But no, but that, that, that's.

• 18:35Speaker 00

  Your wording to the, you said to Alex, by the way, is laying no fucking, there's no mistake in the house, who the, who the, who the alpha is in that house.

• 18:43Speaker 01

  No, there is, there is.

• 18:43Speaker 00

  No, there's not.

• 18:44Speaker 01

  No, because.

• 18:45Speaker 00

  You say things like that.

• 18:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I've not done any, I've not done anything to back it up.

• 18:48Speaker 00

  You don't need to when you use dialogue like that. The most terrifying characters you see in films, the best characters, the best villains, right? Are the ones who can just say it with words and a look. Yeah, you can have Thor or whatever you call, you know, the big one with the big hand out of the Marvel movies, right?

• 19:04Speaker 01

  Thanos?

• 19:04Speaker 00

  Yeah. Right. Yeah. He's smashing.

• 19:07Speaker 01

  I wouldn't say that, look, I don't want to get too nerdy, but I wouldn't say Thanos with the glove and all the infinity stones could be beaten by somebody with a harsh word.

• 19:15Speaker 00

  Oh, you, you don't, so you don't think Don Corleone would turn around and go?

• 19:18Speaker 01

  Do I think Don Corleone would beat Thanos?

• 19:20Speaker 00

  Not in a fight, but in, in, I think Don Corleone, if, if they're standing there together, Thanos is questioning his fucking, his motives. If he's up against Don Corleone and a look.

• 19:30Speaker 01

  I mean, there's no point having this conversation.

• 19:32Speaker 00

  But it is.

• 19:33Speaker 01

  With the fact that you're saying this, you've got no idea what Thanos' motivations are.

• 19:36Speaker 00

  Well, I know the Marvel characters all beat Thanos in a fight, right?

• 19:41Speaker 01

  Right.

• 19:42Speaker 00

  Is that, did that not go down like that?

• 19:43Speaker 01

  Well, it depends which film you're talking about.

• 19:45Speaker 00

  I've not watched any of them.

• 19:46Speaker 01

  Okay, so.

• 19:49Speaker 01

  Why, why are we having this discussion?

• 19:51Speaker 00

  Cause I've watched clip, like little clips.

• 19:52Speaker 01

  Right, and what's your take from the clips?

• 19:54Speaker 00

  All that Thanos, like all the superhero films, it's like, fucking hell, we can't beat this guy. I got an idea, and that's pretty much every superhero movie.

• 20:03Speaker 01

  He wipes out half the universe's population.

• 20:06Speaker 00

  Oh, okay, I didn't know that.

• 20:07Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 20:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, but that's not, yes.

• 20:09Speaker 01

  He beats them?

• 20:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, he beats half of them, but then the Marvel.

• 20:12Speaker 01

  Well, half the, half of the universe is dead.

• 20:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, but then the, yeah, but then.

• 20:16Speaker 01

  They weren't going, fucking hell, got away with that one.

• 20:18Speaker 00

  No.

• 20:19Speaker 01

  Half the universe is dead.

• 20:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, but the, the half that live are going, thank god for the blooming marbles.

• 20:23Speaker 01

  Spider-Man turned to ash and disappeared.

• 20:25Speaker 00

  Spoiler, for Christ's sake.

• 20:27Speaker 01

  For Infinity Wars, if you've not watched it by now, fucking get a grip.

• 20:30Speaker 00

  I, that is what I'm thinking about doing when I've got a bit of time to myself.

• 20:33Speaker 01

  Right.

• 20:34Speaker 00

  Is watching all the marvels.

• 20:35Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 20:36Speaker 00

  Well, now that the end of Spider-Man, I'm going, fucking hell, yeah, this bit was ruined.

• 20:40Speaker 01

  That's not the end of Spider-Man.

• 20:41Speaker 00

  Oh, is he gone? Well, now, it's even fucking ruined twice now, isn't he?

• 20:44Speaker 01

  Why?

• 20:44Speaker 00

  Well, he gets ash and then he comes back.

• 20:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, you should have watched this by now. There's a blip, five years, they're off. And then they figure out a way to defeat Thanos.

• 20:55Speaker 00

  What, they're five years off?

• 20:56Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 20:56Speaker 00

  That's fucking tech, what, they're essentially emergency services. Oh, fucking hell, this guy's gonna destroy the universe. When they come back, yeah, thanks for saving us, we lost our cousins. Jizz, when you were having five years off.

• 21:07Speaker 01

  They didn't have a sabbatical.

• 21:08Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 21:09Speaker 01

  The, the, the, half the universe.

• 21:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, gets wiped out.

• 21:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, and then they just go, we've lost, right?

• 21:14Speaker 00

  And then they go away for five years.

• 21:16Speaker 01

  They can't figure out what to do, it's happened.

• 21:18Speaker 00

  So what, they're planned for five years?

• 21:20Speaker 01

  No, the, the whole world, the whole universe goes into state of depression.

• 21:22Speaker 00

  But I'm looking actually forward to watching this because is there a bit where one of them, like Captain America is like, I'm gonna get the old group back together?

• 21:29Speaker 01

  No.

• 21:29Speaker 00

  Oh, okay.

• 21:31Speaker 01

  That doesn't happen.

• 21:33Speaker 00

  How does, how do they come back together? Bump into each other?

• 21:36Speaker 01

  Ant-Man's.

• 21:36Speaker 00

  That Thanos thing was a pain in the ass. You know, I've been thinking about something, actually.

• 21:40Speaker 01

  No, Ant-Man's in the quantum realm, uh, and a rat walks past a piece of equipment, brings him back from the quantum realm. And then Ant-Man.

• 21:47Speaker 00

  A rat has, splintered?

• 21:48Speaker 01

  No, no, just a rat.

• 21:53Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 21:53Speaker 01

  And by accident knocks the equipment. Ant-Man comes back from the quantum realm. Sees what's going on and has an idea to try and, and then he, then he.

• 22:03Speaker 00

  And Thanos is living it up at this point.

• 22:05Speaker 01

  No, Thanos is retired because his whole mission was to save the universe by just, by getting rid of half the population. And, and then he goes off, he goes off to like his like little retirement planet and he's sitting there sort of just chilling, he's done what he's supposed to do.

• 22:19Speaker 00

  What's the actor who plays Thanos called again? He's a really good actor.

• 22:22Speaker 01

  Josh.

• 22:23Speaker 00

  Brolin.

• 22:23Speaker 01

  Brolin, yeah.

• 22:24Speaker 00

  He was, he's fucking, he was in The Goonies, you know?

• 22:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, look, this isn't a Marvel podcast. I don't really like what they did with Thanos visually.

• 22:32Speaker 00

  What, you think Josh Brolin wasn't?

• 22:34Speaker 01

  No, I think Josh Brolin was great, but like Thanos looked a more, no.

• 22:37Speaker 00

  Incredible book.

• 22:37Speaker 01

  Really? You love Hollywood actors' books, don't you?

• 22:40Speaker 00

  Hmm, certainly.

• 22:41Speaker 01

  Well, you've mentioned two of them, that one and Matthew McConaughey.

• 22:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like a redneck who can write.

• 22:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. What other, what other autobiographies have you written?

• 22:49Speaker 00

  Written, I've written my own.

• 22:51Speaker 01

  What's yours called, by the way? But we should announce it, excuse me, Rob, uh, Rob, Tom's bringing a book out.

• 22:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, well, we've talked about this for two years and it's, I'm still no.

• 22:59Speaker 01

  What's it, what are you calling it?

• 23:00Speaker 00

  I've got no idea at the moment.

• 23:01Speaker 01

  It's currently called Work in Progress.

• 23:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, Whip, Tom Davis Whip.

• 23:05Speaker 01

  Tom Davis Whip's not actually a bad.

• 23:06Speaker 00

  Tom Davis, a work in progress.

• 23:08Speaker 01

  It's good.

• 23:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, there we go. Weirdly, we've pushed the book further on in the last 25 seconds than we have in the last two years.

• 23:16Speaker 01

  Um, anyway, at the beginning of Thanos's, uh, that he, that you catch glimpses of him in the, in credits and he looked really like full on. And then they sort of humanized him and they actually brought him into the thing.

• 23:28Speaker 00

  Oh, right. I really need to see these films.

• 23:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, you do. Anyway, the point is eventually they defeat Thanos when, uh, they bring in Loki and Loki talks him into.

• 23:38Speaker 00

  Is that Tom Hiddleston?

• 23:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, he talks him into taking, into taking the glove off.

• 23:43Speaker 00

  He talks him, that, by the way, is soul destroying for the others.

• 23:47Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 23:48Speaker 00

  He talks him into it.

• 23:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:50Speaker 00

  That can't be much of a good end to a film.

• 23:51Speaker 01

  No, I made all that up. It's because you said that Don Corleone could turn up and just chat him into it. So, so what happened, let me explain to you what happened. You said you don't think that even though Thanos.

• 24:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, kind of says a big difference between Loki and fucking Don Corleone.

• 24:09Speaker 01

  Well, you've not watched any of, it's no point talking about Loki, is it?

• 24:12Speaker 00

  Well, yeah, but Loki is not gonna be as fucking good as Marlon Brando playing Don Corleone. Just in the, just in the very fabric.

• 24:18Speaker 01

  I don't think, look, I, I don't, I think, I don't think Marlon Brando would have made a great Loki.

• 24:22Speaker 00

  I think Marlon Brando could have done anything in his pomp.

• 24:26Speaker 01

  Well, as long as he's got his pomp on, then yes, I guess.

• 24:28Speaker 00

  He's.

• 24:28Speaker 01

  But, uh, no, I'm joking, I.

• 24:30Speaker 00

  Tom Hiddleston as Don Corleone, I'm not having.

• 24:32Speaker 01

  No, but you're not having Tom Hiddleston as anything, eh?

• 24:34Speaker 00

  I don't mind, yeah, he's all right. He's, yeah.

• 24:37Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 24:39Speaker 01

  What's your problem with him?

• 24:40Speaker 00

  He's not in my, yeah, he's not in my top few actors, I don't, you know.

• 24:43Speaker 01

  Well, that, that's the thing, isn't it? People don't have to be in the top, your top few actors.

• 24:46Speaker 00

  No, no, no, but I, I don't think, I, I think.

• 24:49Speaker 01

  He's a great actor, there's no denying that.

• 24:50Speaker 00

  He's a good actor, yeah, he's a good actor.

• 24:51Speaker 01

  So you don't think he's a great actor?

• 24:52Speaker 00

  No.

• 24:53Speaker 01

  No.

• 24:54Speaker 00

  I don't think he's a great.

• 24:55Speaker 01

  He was great in Night Manager.

• 24:57Speaker 00

  He's good in Night Manager.

• 24:59Speaker 01

  He was great in, uh.

• 25:01Speaker 00

  I think in the scheme of like who he's up against is very half of him.

• 25:04Speaker 01

  He was great in Kong.

• 25:05Speaker 00

  Kong?

• 25:06Speaker 01

  Is it Kong on Skull Island or whatever?

• 25:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, actually it was quite a good film.

• 25:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, he, I'd look, he does what he does well, he's not, he's not great, he's not De Niro and he's not Marlon Brando.

• 25:15Speaker 01

  But he's not De Niro, he's like, I don't think.

• 25:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, but they're great.

• 25:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, sure.

• 25:19Speaker 00

  It's like, I'm not a great comedian, I'm a good, I'm a half decent comedian. I'm not a great, like the greats.

• 25:24Speaker 01

  Well, I, I actually think there's two ways you can say great, right?

• 25:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, but this is, we got into this with legend.

• 25:29Speaker 01

  Now, now we're having a difference between great and a great. I think those two things do not mean the same thing. If he's one of the greats, I'm not saying he's one of the greats.

• 25:38Speaker 00

  Tom Hiddleston.

• 25:39Speaker 01

  You're a great comedian, there's a difference.

• 25:40Speaker 00

  I'm not a great.

• 25:42Speaker 01

  No, but those two things are different.

• 25:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, but then also I look at, I look at it and go, what is the, what is the scale and what is the, of, of the words we're using? Like, Tom Hiddleston's a very, very good actor, right? But then he's a great actor and what then goes above, cause if he's a great actor, fair enough. But then what goes above that for the people like Leonardo DiCaprio?

• 26:00Speaker 01

  What I'm saying to you is, great actor is here.

• 26:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 26:03Speaker 01

  One of the greats is, is so far ahead of that. It's like, they, these aren't the same things, do you understand what I'm saying?

• 26:08Speaker 00

  No, no, that's not the same thing. So you say he's a great actor.

• 26:11Speaker 01

  So then you're going, he's not De Niro. I'm not saying, he can still be a great actor without being De Niro.

• 26:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, but I think De Niro is a truly like, it's false nature, special, very special, like.

• 26:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:20Speaker 00

  Like comedians that we could talk, talk about who, but I, I look at him and go, he's a very good actor. If, if he's in something, I'm like, yeah, he's fucking good in it. If I'm honest with you, and I think he's a really good actor. I think he, he still needs his part of a, you know, McConaughey in Dallas Buyers Club. Or something where you go, oh fuck, that's the thing that's completely spun in his head.

• 26:40Speaker 01

  Is Matthew McConaughey a great actor?

• 26:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 26:43Speaker 01

  Right.

• 26:43Speaker 00

  Right, and any shadow of a doubt. I think what he did as well was incredible. To, to take that chance and pivot and go and do something else.

• 26:51Speaker 01

  I'm about to do that.

• 26:52Speaker 00

  Which I think you should do.

• 26:53Speaker 01

  I'm pivoting into retirement.

• 26:54Speaker 00

  You're not pivoting into retirement. You can't retire, it's, the idea of you retiring is insane. And by the way, I'm not talking you out of it, I'm not saying, if that's what you wanna do, God will, right? But I can't see it.

• 27:08Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 27:08Speaker 00

  You're too good at what you do.

• 27:10Speaker 01

  I'll disappear.

• 27:12Speaker 00

  At least you're on the phone going, fucking hell, come on. It'll be like fucking Marvel's, the, the five years off. And then, okay, you destroy half the universe, everyone's walking around sad because you're not around anymore. People love you.

• 27:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, I'm only joking. You, but I, I, yeah.

• 27:26Speaker 00

  The pivot thing I thought was that, was that was a, to take a chance in yourself and then come back. He had a run of films where you're like, okay, now you've, you're the guy.

• 27:34Speaker 01

  It's like when Michael Jordan started playing baseball, right?

• 27:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 27:39Speaker 01

  Have you heard about this theory to do with, uh, uh, what was it called? Growth mindset, growth mindset first, is, is like the concept of, of like, if you, there's two ways of thinking about something. One way is going, I'm not good at that thing.

• 27:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 27:54Speaker 01

  Or two is, I'm not good, I'm currently not good at that thing, but I could get good at that thing, right? And obviously there's limitations to that, but I remember seeing something about somebody who became a grandmaster at chess. And then, it might, I can't remember which way around this is, and then to, to show that, cause he put such dedication into doing that, he felt he could apply it somewhere else. And then he also became, then went on to become a kung fu grand champion.

• 28:20Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 28:20Speaker 01

  Because he was trying to show that if you apply yourself willingly, that you could become great at, at, at completely different things. Well, obviously with kung fu, there's kind of physical limitations, isn't there? But anyway.

• 28:32Speaker 00

  I do feel there's an element of truth to that.

• 28:33Speaker 01

  Do you think I've made that up, Ben? You've got a really cynical look on your face. I don't know what you mean by kung fu.

• 28:37Speaker 04

  Champion.

• 28:38Speaker 01

  I don't know any more than that.

• 28:40Speaker 00

  Don't you.

• 28:41Speaker 01

  Like, it could be like, it could be Sutton, for all I know, do you know what I mean? But. Or maybe he became a black belt or something. I don't know.

• 28:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, I mean, a black belt's nothing these days, though. You've got people.

• 28:51Speaker 01

  I think you get a black belt when you turn up, don't you?

• 28:53Speaker 00

  Twenty downs.

• 28:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 28:56Speaker 04

  Oh, here you go. Joshua Whites- Whiteskin.

• 29:00Speaker 00

  What's a hell of a guy.

• 29:00Speaker 04

  He's an American chess prodigy. And as a child, uh, his life inspired the book and movie Searching for Bobby Fischer. Later in life, he transitioned to martial arts and won world and national championships in Tai Chi Huan Push Hands.

• 29:18Speaker 01

  Tai- I didn't realise it was Tai Chi Huan Push Hands.

• 29:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:21Speaker 01

  Fuck, that's even more impressive.

• 29:22Speaker 00

  That, so he's won two belts?

• 29:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:24Speaker 00

  That, that is a pretty, what's his name?

• 29:26Speaker 04

  Uh, Joshua Whites- Whiteskin.

• 29:29Speaker 01

  What's going on? Why are you hesitating over that?

• 29:33Speaker 04

  What's skin? Whiteskin?

• 29:35Speaker 00

  Whites skin, white skin. White skin, Joshua Whiteskin. What did they call him in the film?

• 29:41Speaker 01

  No, he inspired the film in.

• 29:43Speaker 04

  Bobby Fischer.

• 29:43Speaker 01

  Bobby Fischer.

• 29:44Speaker 04

  Searching for Bobby Fischer.

• 29:45Speaker 00

  Josh- Joshua Whiteskin is such, Whiteskin is such a better name than Bobby Fischer.

• 29:50Speaker 01

  Do you think?

• 29:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:52Speaker 01

  Maybe because they didn't want every time somebody's going to watch the film, do you want to watch, go watch this film? What film? Searching for Joshua White- Whiteskin, Whiteskin, Whiteskin, Whites- Whiteskin.

• 30:05Speaker 00

  Do you know, that I, I, there was a comedian when we started out called Bobby Freeman. Did you ever gig with him?

• 30:11Speaker 01

  I know that name, but I don't think.

• 30:13Speaker 00

  Sweet Bobby Freeman. He was a really, he used to do the thing, right? It was one of the most impressive. So back in, when you used to do open mics, you used to go out and it'd be like, come and guard them. Literally, actually, I'd gig with him around the corner from here. About four people in the audience. But he used to treat it like, he, he used to talk it and be like, this is what I'd do if I was gonna go out at the O2. Like you have, or like fucking Apollo, right? And he'd be like, so he'd have, I predict a riot would kick in. And he'd sprint on stage and he'd do this whole, give me a B, give me an O, give me another B, another B, a Y, give me an F.

• 30:49Speaker 01

  No, he didn't.

• 30:49Speaker 00

  I swear. He'd like, but he'd be so pumped up. No, he'd be like pumped up, then he'd do his set. And at the end, he'd do this thing where he'd like go, you've got a lot of being great tonight. I really, really enjoy being here. I need you to do one last thing for me. Give me a B, give me an O. And it, I'd literally, it was one of the fun, like, it was brilliant. And I used to think, I genuinely hope that one day he does that.

• 31:12Speaker 01

  What happened?

• 31:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, he's, yeah.

• 31:14Speaker 01

  Well, I did a, I did a, I did a Murph control gig.

• 31:17Speaker 00

  But that passion to go on there.

• 31:19Speaker 01

  And they, they made us, um, come down a fire escape. Like, the fire escape was at the front of the room.

• 31:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 31:27Speaker 01

  And you'd be stood at the top. And they'd play Robbie Williams, Let Me Entertain You, as you walked down after they introduced you. This is a gig in Bournemouth. They made us do that. There were four people in the audience.

• 31:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, but this is the thing, right? To get people, this Bobby, by the way, is almost impossible to follow a guy like that. Like, he had such energy.

• 31:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:47Speaker 00

  Everything else felt flat after that.

• 31:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:50Speaker 00

  He had a flat top. I've not seen a flat top for a long time.

• 31:53Speaker 01

  No.

• 31:54Speaker 00

  It looked like a proper flat top. Shout out Bobby Freeman.

• 31:57Speaker 01

  I am.

• 31:57Speaker 00

  I love that guy.

• 31:59Speaker 01

  Okay, I keep trying to move the conversation on. And you keep adding quite inane sort of facts about him.

• 32:05Speaker 00

  I'm shocked you don't know him.

• 32:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't, I've, the name sounds.

• 32:08Speaker 00

  I'd love to have seen you two get together. That'd have been a dream.

• 32:10Speaker 01

  Um, I've become addicted to watching people get their haircut online.

• 32:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, I've, I've been there.

• 32:14Speaker 01

  It's so satisfying, man.

• 32:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's kind of like, hard for me now.

• 32:19Speaker 01

  Because you, yeah.

• 32:20Speaker 00

  As a bald guy.

• 32:21Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 32:22Speaker 00

  I, I find like, I s- I still waver on the fucking plugs and stuff.

• 32:27Speaker 01

  You're not gonna do it, are you?

• 32:28Speaker 00

  I genuinely think about it sometimes.

• 32:29Speaker 01

  But Tom, everybody knows you like this.

• 32:32Speaker 00

  That, I'd have to get over that, but the fact that, like, I, I watch those videos of people having like, fucking cool things done to their hair and like, you know.

• 32:41Speaker 01

  That's why I don't think I can have my eye corrected now, even if I wanted to.

• 32:44Speaker 00

  Why?

• 32:44Speaker 01

  Because it's just.

• 32:45Speaker 00

  It's you, isn't it?

• 32:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:46Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:47Speaker 01

  Being bald is you.

• 32:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:48Speaker 01

  And you look great.

• 32:50Speaker 00

  Your hair looks, what, what's the next step for your hair?

• 32:53Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 32:54Speaker 00

  Well, you've had some fucking cool haircuts.

• 32:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm thinking about getting less cool now. Not less cool, low and low maintenance. I was really thinking about getting cut really short. Yeah, like.

• 33:02Speaker 00

  The French crop?

• 33:03Speaker 01

  I just wanna not have to do it anymore.

• 33:04Speaker 00

  If you could bring the French crop back, have you got a French, no, I thought you had a French crop, Ben.

• 33:09Speaker 01

  What is that? What would you describe what Ben's got?

• 33:12Speaker 00

  Just like a central office haircut.

• 33:14Speaker 01

  He looks like one of those, um, they say, they have them on TikTok, don't they? The hair systems.

• 33:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 33:19Speaker 01

  It looks like a hair system.

• 33:21Speaker 04

  What, what's a hair system?

• 33:22Speaker 01

  Where you like, you glue it on.

• 33:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 33:23Speaker 01

  And then you can wash it and stuff. That's normally, you have to change it every few months.

• 33:26Speaker 00

  No, it's got like a, it's a very, yeah. It's like a.

• 33:29Speaker 01

  You know what it is? My kids would call it NPC.

• 33:32Speaker 00

  What's that mean?

• 33:33Speaker 01

  You know, one of the computer controlled characters that you walk past in Grand Theft Auto.

• 33:39Speaker 00

  That's such a harsh thing to say.

• 33:42Speaker 01

  No, it's nicer.

• 33:43Speaker 00

  Uh, you go with a French crop, though.

• 33:44Speaker 01

  Not a French crop, no, but just like closely.

• 33:46Speaker 00

  Yeah, but what, it's never come back, the French crop.

• 33:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:49Speaker 00

  Everything else about the nineties came back apart from the French crop.

• 33:50Speaker 01

  It's because it's the, it's the front, it's the front. That, that bits too.

• 33:54Speaker 00

  Yeah. What about side parting?

• 33:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, could have a side parting.

• 33:56Speaker 00

  I've never seen you with a side parting.

• 33:58Speaker 01

  No.

• 33:59Speaker 00

  That could be quite good. Or centre parting. Curtains.

• 34:03Speaker 01

  We used to have curtains.

• 34:04Speaker 00

  Oh, curtains. Yeah, that could, centre parting now could be quite nice.

• 34:06Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 34:06Speaker 00

  You've got a nice little wave to your hair as well.

• 34:08Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 34:09Speaker 00

  You've got that sort of sexy little wave. Like the parting of an ocean.

• 34:11Speaker 01

  Yeah. All right. Shall we wrap this up?

• 34:15Speaker 00

  If you've got, uh, any ideas of what Romesh could do with his hair, get in touch, send artist interpretations of what Romesh's next haircut would look like. Send them in to [email protected].

• 34:29Speaker 01

  Tom, could you take us out, please?

• 34:32Speaker 00

  I sure can. Hey, friends. Summer holidays are over and, oh no, autumn is on its way.

• 34:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, boy.

• 34:42Speaker 00

  Trees are looking a little bit more bare, Eric. I know, Sarah. I noticed that myself. As the winds of change cast their evil spell across this nation, it's easy to let your mood go the same way. Do you know what I do? I revel in that. I revel in the leaves upon the ground, kicking them and finding a crispy one to stand on. Crunch, it sounds. Feels like I'm the king of the world, like an ant who just found a little piece of food that they're going to feed his family.

• 35:15Speaker 00

  We know that winter's coming quite quickly down the chamber. And that, again, will be another season change in which you have to acaparise.

• 35:28Speaker 00

  But enjoy the cocos, the marshmallows that melt on top. Enjoy the moments. The days that seem like very much like this, summing up, are going on forever. And as darkness comes a little bit quicker, remember it won't be long before a familiar friend makes his way down your chimney. Oh, hello, Santa Claus. We've been expecting you. See you soon.

• 35:52Speaker 01

  Um, we've got an AI picture of me with a French crop.

• 35:57Speaker 00

  Oh, well, you look fit as fuck. That is, that is you, that's gotta be the next you.

• 36:04Speaker 00

  That, by the way, saves.

• 36:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, but that's a different person.

• 36:07Speaker 00

  That is, that looks sexy, bro. You've got to keep the beard as well. That is a sexy you. Yeah, that's a sexy pic. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you. And, um.

• 36:18Speaker 01

  [email protected] if you wanna get in touch. Bye.