Top Pastry Choices, Friendship And Beard Tips

How do the boys keep their beards so well groomed? In this episode of Wolf & Owl, Romesh and Tom tackle your listener questions, from friendship and what happens when life starts to change, to beard maintenance. Elsewhere, the boys rank their top five pastries, debate the merits of puff, shortcrust and filo, and attempt to answer the important question: how many samosas could one person actually eat? Plus, there's some holiday fashion advice, a debate about the perfect swim shorts and a deep dive into manscaping and the dangers of ingrown hairs. A Ranga Bee Production in partnership with Platform Media. Chapters 00:00 Intro 02:32 An email on changing friendships 04:42 Tom’s advice 06:40 Rom’s advice 08:57 Top 5 pastries 13:50 A question on holiday clothes 16:02 Rom calls out Tom 17:35 Holiday attire advice 21:17 A compliment from Tom 23:11 Beard questions 27:40 Outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

• 0:03Speaker 00

  Yo. Yo, what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred? Just kidding. Every word in his songs about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog.

• 0:14Speaker 01

  Yo.

• 0:15Speaker 02

  Welcome to the email special.

• 0:19Speaker 01

  It's email special time.

• 0:20Speaker 02

  It's email time. It's email time. It's email time on the world for now.

• 0:26Speaker 01

  Do you?

• 0:27Speaker 02

  It's email time.

• 0:28Speaker 01

  I don't, I don't wanna go this too much.

• 0:29Speaker 02

  It's email time.

• 0:30Speaker 01

  Do you ever think what happened to?

• 0:31Speaker 02

  It's email time on the world for now.

• 0:33Speaker 01

  Whatever happened to Chico?

• 0:34Speaker 02

  It's email time.

• 0:35Speaker 01

  Isn't he from Crawley?

• 0:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, he is. I think he's still in Crawley.

• 0:38Speaker 01

  What? I, I.

• 0:40Speaker 02

  I remember seeing a clip of him on that, what's that Jimmy Carr, is it, I'm, I literally just told you or something it's called, isn't it? That show that he did on Channel Four? And they had Chico on there and then he said, I'm sorry, you're not famous enough to be on here. On the celebrity, no, it was a joke.

• 0:53Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 0:54Speaker 02

  And then Chico walked off and I think it was like, it was a memory test or something, but that's the last thing I saw him on.

• 0:58Speaker 01

  Cause that thing when he used to do, it was.

• 1:00Speaker 02

  It's Chico time.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  It's Chico time.

• 1:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:02Speaker 01

  He used to be like.

• 1:03Speaker 02

  Did you like that?

• 1:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04Speaker 02

  There, there was an era around then where you just sort of think, what the fuck's that? What, like X Factor, when X Factor was really, you know, what was his other, Wagner?

• 1:14Speaker 01

  Oh, Wagner.

• 1:15Speaker 02

  What the fuck was going on?

• 1:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, but it was almost a more genital time.

• 1:19Speaker 02

  Like, just like people abroad go, have you seen what's number one in the UK? Chico time. It got to number one.

• 1:24Speaker 01

  Uh, and the cheeky girls. One of them brought down Parliament.

• 1:27Speaker 02

  Touch my bum. This is life.

• 1:30Speaker 01

  When we were first breaking through, these guys, Jedward?

• 1:33Speaker 02

  Yeah. I mean Jed would actually have got a bit of, you know, they got a bit about him.

• 1:37Speaker 01

  They got him on the radio this week.

• 1:38Speaker 02

  No. No, but I do think.

• 1:41Speaker 01

  I'd love you to do a single with Chico, like a rap with Chico time.

• 1:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:44Speaker 01

  Can he, can he rap?

• 1:46Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 1:47Speaker 01

  What is he doing now?

• 1:48Speaker 02

  I, I don't know why I'm getting so many follow up questions.

• 1:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, but he lives in Crawley, so do you.

• 1:52Speaker 02

  Ask me anything about anybody that lives in Crawley.

• 1:54Speaker 01

  No, but you're part, you're two of the biggest names from Crawley.

• 1:56Speaker 02

  I don't know what he's doing now. Shall we find out?

• 1:58Speaker 01

  It's insane that your paths haven't crossed.

• 2:00Speaker 02

  His name's Chico Slimani, I think.

• 2:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, Chico Slimani.

• 2:03Speaker 02

  What's it say?

• 2:04Speaker 03

  He's a fitness and wellness guru.

• 2:05Speaker 02

  There you go.

• 2:05Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 2:06Speaker 02

  So.

• 2:07Speaker 01

  Do you follow him?

• 2:08Speaker 02

  Arguably gone into, to do the only thing that you can think is worse than his music career.

• 2:13Speaker 01

  Can I just say?

• 2:14Speaker 02

  Which has become a wellness.

• 2:14Speaker 01

  It would mean a lot to him if you followed him and gave him a bit of a prop, props and tried to big him up.

• 2:19Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 2:19Speaker 01

  As someone from your area. That'll go down a lot really well, I think.

• 2:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, this, we can snip, can't we? Uh, okay, shall we do some emails, Tommy?

• 2:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:28Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 2:28Speaker 01

  I'd love one to be from Chico. I'll go first if you want.

• 2:31Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 2:32Speaker 01

  Hi, Rom and Tom.

• 2:34Speaker 02

  How do you know this is not about a bereavement?

• 2:36Speaker 01

  Okay, yeah, okay, yeah, okay. I've really got to stop that. Hi, Rom and Tom. Relatively new listener to the podcast and now I can't stop listening. I can't believe I didn't know about this podcast, I didn't know this podcast existed before. Because I was such a big fan of Murder is Successful. I reckon I do my DI sleep voice once a week. Rom is okay too.

• 2:55Speaker 02

  Why am I, so this happens to me on both the podcasts I do.

• 2:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:00Speaker 02

  I'm a punching bag on this one and I'm a punching bag on my own one.

• 3:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, because you're the big name.

• 3:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, but what, I'm not the big name.

• 3:05Speaker 01

  People think you need to be brought down to earth, I think.

• 3:07Speaker 02

  Fuck.

• 3:08Speaker 01

  And that, that's more patronizing.

• 3:10Speaker 02

  Guys, I'm a person, yeah?

• 3:11Speaker 01

  Guys, can you, all these.

• 3:12Speaker 02

  I am a fuck, no, don't, don't, no, no, no, no.

• 3:15Speaker 01

  If Rom is props.

• 3:16Speaker 02

  No, don't, don't, no, please don't, please don't, please don't.

• 3:19Speaker 01

  Things he's done that make you laugh and chuckle.

• 3:21Speaker 02

  Please don't, please don't.

• 3:23Speaker 01

  Guffaws.

• 3:23Speaker 02

  Please don't.

• 3:24Speaker 01

  Moments have made you cry.

• 3:25Speaker 02

  Anyway, let's not make this about me, carry on.

• 3:27Speaker 01

  I was hoping to get your advice about something. My best friend and I have lived together for the past five years. But over the next few months, we'll both be moving in with our girlfriends. Well, we're both excited about this next chapter. I think we're also a little nervous about what it means for our friendship. Living together has given us a nice level of, I'm adding words, given us a level of closeness that's hard to replicate when you're no longer sharing a home. I think we both care deeply about maintaining the friendship. But we're unsure what it will look like going forward. And how intentional, intentional will need to be about making time for each other. I worry if we're not careful, we'll end up letting a friendship fall by the wayside. Do you have any advice on how to navigate this transition? And maintain a close friendship after going our separate ways?

• 4:12Speaker 01

  Thanks so much, the Bumbling Bear.

• 4:15Speaker 02

  Um.

• 4:17Speaker 01

  Bumbling Bear. Have you, have you lived with a friend like that?

• 4:21Speaker 02

  Only at uni, but not since then. Um, Bumbling Bear, uh, your best friend, uh, sounds like an absolute legend and you sound okay too.

• 4:31Speaker 01

  Oh. One in the clip.

• 4:36Speaker 02

  Uh, no, I'm only joking. Um, I, well, I do have some thoughts actually. Do you wanna go first?

• 4:40Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah. I, I, I think in life naturally, these, these things as you progress. When I met Catherine, I was living with a mate. And if I'm honest, it was a very good friend, but I, I do think naturally as you change and, and, and, you know, I think you have to, normally you have to throw everything into the fact you're in a new relationship with someone, you're in a relationship with someone that you're making a home with and hopefully a home that you're gonna be staying in for the long term. Um, and I think for both of you, that has to almost be the priority. And I think if your friendship's strong enough, I think it will just evolve into being sort of a slightly different thing. If I, I think you'll actually have that space away, so, so seeing less of each other, the time that you do have together will be that a little bit more special.

• 5:23Speaker 01

  I think by the sounds of things, you've got someone that is going through the same thing as you are at the same time. So actually that's, you know, you're, you're both moving out, you're both with these new people. So I think you'll have someone to lean on and, and discuss and see how, check in on each other and see how you're getting on. Um, and I think, I, I, I think the worry about things not always staying the same isn't necessarily a thing to actually put too much emphasis. I think growth is great and I think both of you growing as young men and, and, and evolving as human beings is a good thing. And I think as long as you're always having those conversations, you're sticking around, you're, you're checking in on each other. You, I think your friendship will grow stronger, um, more than anything else.

• 6:06Speaker 01

  And that's my point, when I first moved in with Catherine, I think I lost sight of that a little bit when, with the person I've been, I got to. We both moved out, a similar situation, and I think we actually drifted away apart, uh, drifted apart. And we're sort of back chatting a lot now. Um, and that's just a nice thing, but I think you, you can fall into a trap of, of not keeping an eye on it. So whilst I think anything like you're going through now is great, I think moving forward is brilliant. It's, it's also just, yeah, always just paying dues back to your friendship.

• 6:39Speaker 02

  Uh, Bumbling Bear, um, I think that, um, like it's, it's quite, I think it's like quite a unique situation to be. It's like when you're, when you're living with somebody, you do get really super close.

• 6:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:52Speaker 02

  And then what happens is, is your friendship, and it's not, not easy, your friendship isn't going to be the same. Because you were forced together by circumstance, I mean, you chose to live together. But what I mean is then you're seeing each other all the time and that, it happens by default that you're seeing each other loads.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:10Speaker 02

  And now that's not happening. And so actually, you know, it is gonna change, inevitably it's gonna change, obviously, because you're moving on to different parts of your life. But I, I think you're right. I think you, you, if you want to keep that friendship going, then you make sure you keep in touch and, and you stay on top of those things. I feel like, cause my, my original thought was like, let it take care of itself, because if you want to meet up with each other, you will meet up with each other. But the truth is, I want to meet up with you all the time.

• 7:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:41Speaker 02

  And vice versa, and because we're not on it as much as we could be. And so it doesn't happen as often as we'd like, but that doesn't mean I don't wanna meet up with you. It's just you get carried away with other things. So I think your thing about, you know, keeping an eye on it and going, well, we haven't actually, we actually haven't hung out for a while. Sometimes I end up in friendships where the other person's much better at that than me. I don't know if you ever have this, and then they'll go, we haven't seen each other for ages, let's link up. I'm not very good at it, so I would say, Bumbling Bear, try and be on that. And if both of you sort of say to each other, let's make sure we keep in touch. So Rob and I have to do this quite a bit, because like when we're filming together, we see each other all the time. And then we don't sort of need to link up.

• 8:22Speaker 02

  And then when we've got a period where we're not filming with each other for ages, we have to make sure, not make sure, but you know, you sort of go, let's make sure we do. Not make sure, but let's make sure, fucking kill, fucking dickhead. Anyway, something for me to worry about later. Um, the point I'm trying to make is you have to make an effort, you know, to, to.

• 8:40Speaker 01

  I like it when you show those little sides of yourself.

• 8:42Speaker 02

  What little side? Yeah, I mean, it's happening, to be fair, it's happening in my head all the time.

• 8:48Speaker 01

  But it shows you're not.

• 8:49Speaker 02

  Very rarely do I let it.

• 8:50Speaker 01

  This is the thing you need to do more.

• 8:51Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 8:52Speaker 01

  Show you. You're vulnerable there.

• 8:54Speaker 02

  I will do.

• 8:54Speaker 01

  It's good.

• 8:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:55Speaker 01

  Fuck.

• 9:52Speaker 02

  Hi boys. Hope you're doing well. Big fan of the pod. I was down the pub the other day and as you do, me and my mates had a dispute over the top five pastries and things got heated. Obviously, there's puff, filo, short crust, shu, Danish flaky, all with reasons to be top of the list. The puff versus short crust decision was particularly divisive, as Tom is one of the UK's most trusted voices when it comes to food opinions, along with Romesh providing balance and reason. I believe you'll both definitely have a take on the top five ranking. Hope this isn't too controversial to air. Thanks, Matt. Have they given us their top five? Puff, short crust, shu, Danish flaky.

• 10:28Speaker 02

  So when I get this, if that's their top five, well, that's at six they've given there, isn't it?

• 10:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:33Speaker 02

  What's your top five then? And why?

• 10:35Speaker 01

  Well, I think filo they've been very, very kind to. If that is, if this is their top five in order.

• 10:40Speaker 02

  Filo's shit.

• 10:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:42Speaker 02

  Let's just get that out of the way. It's shit.

• 10:44Speaker 01

  There's a lot of, I, I, I think flaky's incredible, but I, I would be going puff pastry all day long. Great pastry. Puff pastry at the top.

• 10:54Speaker 01

  Really?

• 10:56Speaker 01

  I mean, you're, by the way, they're fucking, you've been in the baking business.

• 11:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:01Speaker 01

  Yeah. So.

• 11:02Speaker 02

  Well, I've not really been in the baking business.

• 11:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, but.

• 11:04Speaker 02

  I, a company existed for a hundred years. I got involved and it shut down.

• 11:10Speaker 02

  It's the basic summary.

• 11:11Speaker 01

  But I would say puff, look, short crust is your staple, right?

• 11:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:15Speaker 01

  That's like a good centre back. You build a team out of it.

• 11:17Speaker 02

  I like short crust.

• 11:19Speaker 01

  I love short crust.

• 11:19Speaker 02

  I love, yeah, I, I really like short crust. Like, I really like short crust.

• 11:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:24Speaker 02

  Like, I love short crust.

• 11:26Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 11:27Speaker 02

  I like, I'm a big fan of short crust.

• 11:29Speaker 01

  This is the, yeah, the most invested I've heard you in anything.

• 11:32Speaker 02

  Puff, filo, so filo can get the fuck off, right?

• 11:34Speaker 01

  Filo can fuck off. I, I'd go short crust. We can agree top.

• 11:37Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 11:38Speaker 01

  Yeah?

• 11:38Speaker 02

  I really like short crust.

• 11:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, Jesus Christ.

• 11:42Speaker 02

  Puff, number two?

• 11:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'd go puff. It's a durable, it's, it's great on the basis. I think anything with puff pastry is nice.

• 11:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm gonna go.

• 11:50Speaker 01

  Marmite puffs.

• 11:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:52Speaker 01

  Cheese and marmite puff.

• 11:53Speaker 02

  Flaky, three?

• 11:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. Danish is, Danish is good. Danish, mate. I, I would say shu and, and filo. I, I keep shuing above filo.

• 12:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:04Speaker 01

  I think shu pastry is wonderful.

• 12:05Speaker 02

  But shu is kind of.

• 12:08Speaker 01

  Shu's by the way.

• 12:09Speaker 02

  Shu's got to be on top of its game to, to mix in and amongst the others.

• 12:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, but also shu is, you know, everything with shu pastry pretty much has cream with it or something sweet and delicious. So it's, yeah, it flies up the rankings.

• 12:20Speaker 02

  Shu is helped by its partner.

• 12:21Speaker 01

  Filo is the biggest.

• 12:22Speaker 02

  As if you believe online, I am, in every partnership I'm involved in.

• 12:27Speaker 01

  Wrong, wrong.

• 12:31Speaker 01

  Can I say, by the way, what, what kind of pastry is samosa?

• 12:35Speaker 02

  Uh.

• 12:36Speaker 01

  It's flaky, no?

• 12:37Speaker 02

  I think it's flaky, yeah.

• 12:39Speaker 01

  Oh, I love samosas.

• 12:40Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 12:41Speaker 01

  Samo, I could eat, I could, I could eat a hundred samosas, let's see.

• 12:44Speaker 02

  In a sitting?

• 12:45Speaker 01

  If I sat, yeah, like biscuits.

• 12:47Speaker 02

  What the fuck are you talking about?

• 12:48Speaker 01

  I fucking love samosas.

• 12:49Speaker 02

  Some, a hundred samosas?

• 12:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, like little ones, yeah.

• 12:52Speaker 02

  You could not eat a hundred samosas?

• 12:54Speaker 01

  In a day, yeah.

• 12:56Speaker 02

  Okay, now you're, all right.

• 12:58Speaker 01

  If I'm sitting for, right, how long?

• 12:59Speaker 02

  If we keep talking about this, will this become a week?

• 13:01Speaker 01

  Right. No, in a day, easy. I reckon, no, in an afternoon.

• 13:03Speaker 02

  In a day, you can eat a hundred samosas.

• 13:05Speaker 01

  In a day, I could, easy.

• 13:07Speaker 02

  I'd be okay.

• 13:09Speaker 01

  What is it? Lovely vegetables?

• 13:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:12Speaker 02

  A hundred samosas in a day? How big?

• 13:15Speaker 01

  Those little ones, the nice little ones you get in the restaurants.

• 13:17Speaker 02

  The little ones?

• 13:17Speaker 01

  Those, yeah.

• 13:18Speaker 02

  Hundred.

• 13:20Speaker 01

  Three of those is probably one big samosa. Or four, maybe five.

• 13:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, could you eat 25 big samosas?

• 13:27Speaker 01

  Like, easy.

• 13:28Speaker 02

  In a day, probably.

• 13:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, maybe you could.

• 13:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, five for breakfast.

• 13:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:33Speaker 01

  Five.

• 13:33Speaker 02

  No, I get how the numbers work, but it's, it's more like how full up you'll be.

• 13:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I've.

• 13:38Speaker 02

  How would you tackle it? Imagine you've got a hundred, today, if, for a million pounds, you've got to eat a hundred samosas in a day.

• 13:46Speaker 01

  Uh, just put it in my bank now. You're about to fucking be amazed.

• 13:49Speaker 02

  Well, we've got to see you eat the samosas first.

• 13:50Speaker 01

  Okay, cool. I'll probably have five for breakfast.

• 13:53Speaker 02

  Five for breakfast?

• 13:55Speaker 01

  Five mid morning. Oh no, three mid morning.

• 13:58Speaker 02

  Three mid morning. Yeah, that's right. It's best to keep it down.

• 14:00Speaker 01

  Lunch, I reckon I could probably bang out seven.

• 14:03Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 14:03Speaker 01

  So how many have we eaten now?

• 14:04Speaker 02

  I think 15.

• 14:05Speaker 01

  Okay. Oh, easy, light work, boy. Three mid afternoon.

• 14:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:09Speaker 01

  Right. Uh, and then probably another.

• 14:12Speaker 02

  You've got a heavy evening ahead of you.

• 14:14Speaker 01

  No, no. Another seven for dinner.

• 14:16Speaker 02

  Right.

• 14:17Speaker 01

  25.

• 14:18Speaker 02

  No, we're talking about, you said a hundred?

• 14:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, hu, no, these are the big ones.

• 14:22Speaker 02

  Right, so how many are the small ones?

• 14:23Speaker 01

  Oh, small, I fucking know. Now you asked me to do proper maths. So, five for breakfast, five, we're saying five, so 15, yeah, 15 for, for breakfast.

• 14:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:37Speaker 01

  I think, fucking hell.

• 14:39Speaker 02

  Anyway, you could do it. Fuck, let's move on.

• 14:41Speaker 01

  It's fucking light work.

• 14:44Speaker 04

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• 15:44Speaker 01

  Dear the Wolfenow, I have been a fan of yourselves for many years and have seen you both live. I saw Ramesh when his stand-up was being filmed and whooped at a mention of Idris Elba. You love Idris Elba. You're doing a lot of the Idris Elba stuff.

• 15:57Speaker 02

  No, I, there was an Idris Elba routine in my.

• 15:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know, yeah, yeah. And now you've got the thing on the podcast, a lot of him, yeah, yeah. Good guy. You've met him. You, you've had a thing with him.

• 16:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, I met him, yeah, yeah.

• 16:06Speaker 01

  Cool, cool, cool guy.

• 16:07Speaker 02

  We, we, we saw each other regularly for a while.

• 16:09Speaker 01

  He's, yeah, by the way, every time I think of Idris, I just feel, wow, he's so fucking cool.

• 16:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, okay, um.

• 16:18Speaker 01

  In which he told me to fuck off. Oh.

• 16:21Speaker 02

  Sounds like one of my classic bits of crowd work.

• 16:23Speaker 01

  Which I hold fondly in my heart. That is, by the way, I think people like that, if you do that to them.

• 16:28Speaker 02

  I know, but it's just when you see it written down like that, you just think, what a load of shit.

• 16:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, but you were probably, you're in the weeds of it then, aren't you?

• 16:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, go on.

• 16:36Speaker 01

  My, my husband's 44th birthday.

• 16:38Speaker 02

  Happy birthday!

• 16:39Speaker 01

  And family holiday to Cornwall is coming up.

• 16:41Speaker 02

  Love Cornwall!

• 16:42Speaker 01

  And my husband desperately needs some modern attire.

• 16:45Speaker 02

  Clothing!

• 16:45Speaker 01

  When I asked him about what he already has to build upon, he told me his swimming shorts.

• 16:50Speaker 02

  Who likes short shorts?

• 16:52Speaker 01

  Decade old.

• 16:53Speaker 02

  10 years.

• 16:54Speaker 01

  You've probably answered this a hundred times over.

• 16:56Speaker 02

  Century!

• 16:58Speaker 01

  When shopping for summer ho, or holiday clothes, where do you start?

• 17:02Speaker 02

  The shops.

• 17:03Speaker 01

  I could easily go out and buy him a bunch of white t-shirts and navy shorts.

• 17:06Speaker 02

  In my white tee.

• 17:08Speaker 01

  But feel like he could do with a bit more contemporary look.

• 17:12Speaker 02

  Modernized!

• 17:13Speaker 01

  Which I know you guys must have. He actually likes all colours. That's nice. Doesn't look old before his time.

• 17:22Speaker 02

  Hello, grandad!

• 17:23Speaker 01

  Trying to be too hard or too young? Thanks in advance, the stumped serval.

• 17:29Speaker 02

  What do you think, what do you think of my little ad lib?

• 17:31Speaker 01

  I enjoyed it. I, I don't know what she'll feel, because what actually you were doing to her is heckling her email.

• 17:36Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 17:36Speaker 01

  Like she heckled you. It's almost like a bit of a.

• 17:38Speaker 02

  Oh, sorry, I didn't mean, that wasn't the reason I was doing that.

• 17:40Speaker 01

  It felt like it, it could have been a Romy revenge.

• 17:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, I wouldn't have done that if it was real serious, so.

• 17:45Speaker 01

  Everyone in comedy talks of the Romy revenge, when my friend Nathan goes, "I will destroy you!"

• 17:56Speaker 02

  Do you know, do you know the thing that you do more in this podcast more than any other?

• 17:59Speaker 01

  What?

• 18:02Speaker 02

  Which is where you said something that you think is funny.

• 18:05Speaker 01

  You, but, you know why?

• 18:06Speaker 02

  It's like, it's the equivalent of like when they say something funny on What the Week and they take a sip of water.

• 18:12Speaker 01

  You know why I do it?

• 18:13Speaker 02

  Dara O'Brien does it. Eh, after he's done like a funny run.

• 18:17Speaker 01

  Does he really?

• 18:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:18Speaker 01

  I do it because I find, I do it when, I laugh a lot when you do.

• 18:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know.

• 18:22Speaker 01

  But also your face and how you react to things always just makes me laugh more.

• 18:26Speaker 02

  I think you find it funny than anyone else does, though.

• 18:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, but it literally makes me, even when I'm watching you on TV do things, it makes me laugh so much. It's because when, when you're doing the look like you're doing now, right? For a lot of people, I just think there's so much going on that it just makes me look like you're literally, and it's a bit like, you know, like a scary dog. You don't kind of know which way it's gonna go.

• 18:47Speaker 02

  Right, yeah, I get it.

• 18:48Speaker 01

  You know, like if you're with an XL bully in a cell, you're like, oh shit.

• 18:51Speaker 02

  Tell me the, what's happened in the run-up to that?

• 18:55Speaker 01

  Well, you've both been arrested for different crimes.

• 18:57Speaker 02

  Right.

• 18:57Speaker 01

  All right.

• 18:58Speaker 02

  And they put an XL bully and a human in a cell together.

• 19:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, there's, well, it's short on space.

• 19:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:04Speaker 01

  So like, right.

• 19:05Speaker 02

  You get arrested by the dog catcher as well?

• 19:07Speaker 01

  I know what you're gonna say. This is a bloody weird situation. This is Kiefer. He's a bloody XL bully, you know, just, you know, I don't know what he's like, but he's bit three people, so, yeah. And then if he's sitting there, you're like, oh, how do I tread best here?

• 19:23Speaker 02

  Um.

• 19:28Speaker 02

  Okay, holiday wardrobe refresh. I actually think you are best placed to do this because I think your holiday wardrobe game is better than mine, actually.

• 19:37Speaker 01

  You're joking?

• 19:38Speaker 02

  No.

• 19:39Speaker 01

  I mean, it's sad I won't be able to see this year.

• 19:40Speaker 02

  It's not faux, that's not faux humility from me either, I genuinely mean that.

• 19:44Speaker 01

  Uh, I would say, I, I, no, I think.

• 19:47Speaker 02

  You like, you love a linen, don't you?

• 19:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, I do, I do. I think the crux of this email isn't really about the, the summer, it's more about finding something that works for you as a look in general. Like you have found, I've got a friend of mine, very, very fashionable guy, cool guy, loves his clothes. He's like, he was talking about you the other day, he was like, Romesh has really found a look now. He's got a really, he looks cool in everything he does, he's got a look that works for him. And I think that's the thing, with what you would wear, me and you probably is a bit more crossover because we're into similar sort of stuff, but. Like Ben has a look and it works for him.

• 20:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's good, Ben.

• 20:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:21Speaker 01

  Aren't you?

• 20:22Speaker 02

  But it's a very specific look, isn't it?

• 20:23Speaker 01

  Guy dresses really well.

• 20:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:25Speaker 01

  But a guy's got a look and I think, I think you've got to find, so, and I think the worst thing you can do is, and I've, I've been careful of doing this, is rapidly change up and just go, I, I, like Ben's look, which suits Ben, I tried this look, it doesn't look good for Tom Davis. The worst thing you can do is buy things on a basis of like, thinking, I'm gonna rapidly change everything. You have to have a look, I think, that goes across the year and it's, you have staples of like, okay, this thing works for me, that thing works for me. And I think the worst thing you can do is ebb and change all the time and then have a wardrobe that's just fast. You want bits that you can go to quite quickly and go, okay, this, that t-shirt looks well, this is gonna be, an over shirt looks not, whatever.

• 21:05Speaker 01

  And I think a lot of that is just finding people that you, similar body shapes or whatever, or how you carry yourself. And I think how you're feeling every day, day to day is a way, you, you, you portray that through your clothing. Right? I mean, at the moment, if I'm, I'm very uncomfortable because I've accidentally brought a, a box t-shirt, so it's not long enough. So my stomach keeps wanting to come out. It won't be, this will be the last time I ever wear a box t-shirt. It's something I saw someone wear and go, oh, that'd look cool. It's cool if you've got a six fact, isn't it looking very good if you've got a big hairy gut hanging out from under it?

• 21:41Speaker 01

  Looks good if you're fucking in the nineteen eighties fucking film or a remake and goes, that's a toned tummy.

• 21:48Speaker 01

  Homer Simpson wouldn't look good in that. So my point is, but you, I think, so I think it's going out, I think, and also it's enjoying the process of finding things that you like to wear and it's about feeling good in it. I think it's about feeling good for yourself, it's about feeling good for your partner and I think it's going out and just, yeah. So if it's, if he's had his swimming shorts for ten years, I think, I, you know, I would love to go out with this guy, by the way, shopping. Like I did for you with the shirt.

• 22:13Speaker 02

  For the what?

• 22:14Speaker 01

  That shirt I brought you.

• 22:15Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, it's great.

• 22:16Speaker 01

  By the way, you should wear more stuff like that.

• 22:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, I went to get Charlie from, uh, his play, his meeting thing the other day. And I was wearing the shirt you got me.

• 22:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:28Speaker 02

  You know, he said, you are gonna love this. He said to me, I think that's the favourite, my favourite shirt of yours that you've got.

• 22:33Speaker 01

  So, but, by the way, you got, you look great in that stuff. You look great in a button up with a collar.

• 22:37Speaker 02

  Thanks, bro. Um, and thank you for buying that for me.

• 22:40Speaker 01

  I love you.

• 22:41Speaker 02

  I, uh, I think people need to make more effort with swim shorts.

• 22:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:48Speaker 02

  Because I think people buy any old swim shorts and I think like lengthwise and like.

• 22:54Speaker 01

  What you wear, board shorts was the thing, we used to joke about.

• 22:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, you always used to say I wear board shorts.

• 22:58Speaker 01

  Which, by the way, have really come in now.

• 23:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm still.

• 23:01Speaker 01

  These are essentially board shorts I've got now.

• 23:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, but you, you, your swim shorts are not that length, are they?

• 23:05Speaker 01

  No, my swim, I, I'm like that.

• 23:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:08Speaker 01

  Yeah. Where are you?

• 23:09Speaker 02

  I would say mid thigh, I'm going for a mid thigh short.

• 23:11Speaker 01

  You've got good legs, by the way.

• 23:12Speaker 02

  I don't.

• 23:13Speaker 01

  You do actually have good legs. I don't, I was in the cycling the other day.

• 23:17Speaker 02

  That's very sweet of you, thank you.

• 23:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, you've, you've got good legs.

• 23:19Speaker 02

  You also told everybody that my arse crack was showing, which is sweet of you.

• 23:24Speaker 01

  Can I say, by the way?

• 23:24Speaker 02

  Luckily, he said it on camera.

• 23:27Speaker 01

  Can I say, by the way?

• 23:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:29Speaker 01

  Your shoulders are insane. You have phenomenal shoulders.

• 23:33Speaker 02

  Right, thank you.

• 23:34Speaker 01

  You should really.

• 23:35Speaker 02

  Do what with them?

• 23:36Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 23:37Speaker 02

  Wear more off the shoulder stuff?

• 23:39Speaker 01

  Why, but why can't guys wear off the shoulder stuff? That's a choi, right? Women wear, like, you've got really sexy tattoos, right? You've got really nice shoulders. Why can't Romesh Ranganathan have a little drop shoulder number? That is the thing we should bring in the Wolf for Now. A shoulder, like, like a shoulder cut off, where you show a little bit of shoulder. It's not too sexy, it's a bit relaxed, it's chilled.

• 24:01Speaker 02

  I don't think, I think, I don't think we have to worry about it being too sexy.

• 24:04Speaker 01

  No, but you in a little off shoulder number and all of a sudden everyone's walking around, you go, oh, fucking hell, Beckham's all of a sudden an off shoulder number. That is something, we've, we've, we've slept on this.

• 24:14Speaker 02

  Are, are there any off the shoulder men's clothing, please?

• 24:18Speaker 01

  This is, this is an idea if it isn't. Next, next episode of Wolf for Now.

• 24:22Speaker 02

  If I wore that, are you fucking crazy?

• 24:24Speaker 01

  No, that, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm gonna make it for you.

• 24:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's the bit, okay, great.

• 24:30Speaker 01

  Okay, it's, it's gotta be a nice t-shirt. I'm not talking about it being all tight. A nice t-shirt, little zip, little cut there. So you see your tattoos and you see your bulging shoulders, your traps, great traps. People, I genuinely think this could be the, a new dawn. We should patent this, I'm saying now.

• 24:48Speaker 02

  I don't think we need to, I'm saying now.

• 24:50Speaker 01

  Okay. Well, when, when, in the next episode, the shoulder drop t-shirt.

• 24:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:55Speaker 01

  Everyone's like, honey, I'm home. It's a new you.

• 25:01Speaker 02

  Great, thank you.

• 25:04Speaker 02

  Pals and hoots to the Wolf and Owl and John.

• 25:07Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 25:08Speaker 02

  John's actually not here today, is he?

• 25:09Speaker 01

  We've got Ben and Guy.

• 25:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, and they're doing really well.

• 25:14Speaker 01

  They're doing, they're doing great, Ben and Guy.

• 25:16Speaker 02

  They're doing great. It's been a different, I would say it's a different vibe in the room, isn't it?

• 25:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, John gives off a cheeky sort of.

• 25:20Speaker 02

  And we don't know if any of this is actually recording.

• 25:24Speaker 01

  We do with Guy at the wheel.

• 25:25Speaker 02

  Uh, in an effort to keep myself attractive enough for my wife to keep me around, I've been going to the gym, getting haircuts and moisturising. But my Instagram is awash with hundreds of different ways to improve myself further, from body hair trimmers, beard, beard spiky rollers, creams and potions. I want to advise the very dapper Wolf and Owl would have for head to toe manscaping for model gentlemen. Also, those spiky rollers, the same thing seems to be advertised as a beard growth stimulator for men or a face plumping wrinkle remover for women. Smells fishy to me. Whoever used it. Have you used one? Which one did you get? Peace, Matt the Bakkenico. I don't know what that is. Um, okay, well, we talked a bit about grooming routine, we talked a lot about it.

• 26:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, we have. I, you know, I've had to shave down my arms.

• 26:08Speaker 02

  How come?

• 26:08Speaker 01

  Because of the thing we had to, when we were in France.

• 26:11Speaker 02

  We did the waxing, yeah.

• 26:12Speaker 01

  They was, they looked ridiculous. I actually quite liked the fact that it was hairy now.

• 26:15Speaker 02

  Yeah. What would you think about going completely hairless?

• 26:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, you, you're not, you're not very hairy though.

• 26:20Speaker 02

  No, that's true.

• 26:22Speaker 01

  I mean, I've, I've been waxed all over.

• 26:24Speaker 02

  Um, Ben has mocked up a

• 26:28Speaker 02

  what I might look like with a French crop and an off the shoulder number.

• 26:37Speaker 01

  You look, you look quite, you look sexy.

• 26:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, it needs more grey probably, doesn't it?

• 26:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unless we, unless we, that's the, that's the model picture we use for sending them. Anyway, anyway, to our friend, I've, I'm like, I, I myself have tried most things. I'm a real fucking, I'm an easy mark. For the, any, anything online.

• 26:58Speaker 02

  Me too. Anything where they go, this will de-age you.

• 27:01Speaker 01

  What are you shaving your pubes with now? Or are you cutting the back of your scissors still?

• 27:05Speaker 02

  Uh, I've got a.

• 27:07Speaker 01

  Like clippers?

• 27:08Speaker 02

  Pubis clippers.

• 27:09Speaker 01

  Pubis? Are they called pubis?

• 27:11Speaker 02

  No, they're not, I'm just saying.

• 27:12Speaker 01

  What are you, what are you doing? Are you cutting them?

• 27:14Speaker 02

  I'm not, a lot, I'm just taking, I'm just, I'm weed whacking, basically.

• 27:27Speaker 01

  You have to put something down on those. You know, your, your pubic hairs like bamboo. I'll come back, come back stronger. Um, do you use that? No, but do you use like?

• 27:41Speaker 02

  No, it's not like, I'm not fading it.

• 27:43Speaker 01

  No, yeah, I've, I've started trying to do that a bit more.

• 27:45Speaker 02

  Right.

• 27:45Speaker 01

  Like, I was like, otherwise you're having like, you're going down to skin level, right?

• 27:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't go to skin level, no.

• 27:50Speaker 01

  All right, okay, okay. Yeah, I've, I've been using like clippers, so I've got like proper clippers for it.

• 27:55Speaker 02

  So, at some points since I've known you, you've been completely bald down there.

• 27:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:00Speaker 02

  And how, how do you find that?

• 28:01Speaker 01

  Uh, it's when it starts growing back is the problem.

• 28:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:05Speaker 01

  I knew a guy, actually you knew, you know Ross Lee, the comedian?

• 28:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:08Speaker 01

  He got really bad ingrown hair on the back of his balls.

• 28:12Speaker 01

  It was biblical, he showed me once.

• 28:15Speaker 02

  He showed you the back of his balls?

• 28:17Speaker 01

  Because he was in so much pain. He had to go to the doctors, I think, and get it out, they had to get it out. In-grown hairs can be savage in the back of your balls.

• 28:24Speaker 02

  No disrespect to you, but I don't think I'd be going, oh fucking, you know what this needs? Tom Davis to have a look at it.

• 28:30Speaker 01

  No, but you've got to be really careful when you're shaving anywhere. I've got an ingrown hair, I've got one here, I think.

• 28:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, I, yeah.

• 28:38Speaker 01

  On my side.

• 28:38Speaker 02

  Yeah. So what are you gonna do about it?

• 28:40Speaker 01

  Well, I was gonna show you after.

• 28:42Speaker 02

  I, I got an ingrown one here.

• 28:44Speaker 01

  They're savage.

• 28:45Speaker 02

  It was like, just when I started the play.

• 28:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:47Speaker 02

  And I had to just have a tash. And so I hadn't used like just a razor and like wet shave for such a long time. And I did it and then like a day later, I started to get this horrible, like, it was really angry bump. And then they gave me some sort of like.

• 29:01Speaker 01

  Witch hazel?

• 29:02Speaker 02

  Some sort of cream or something to sort it out. It took a while.

• 29:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's awful.

• 29:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:06Speaker 01

  But they're really satisfying when you get them out.

• 29:08Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 29:09Speaker 01

  I also had a friend, Justin, who got a, he had like a thing on the back of his ear. I don't know if it was ingrown hair or just a spot. And we, for ages, like, you need to squeeze that thing. His ear was just like blowing up more and more. We were in a pub one day, he squeezed it and I've never seen pus and blood like it. It's not, it was just pouring down his neck. It was just, I loved that stuff. I live for it.

• 29:34Speaker 02

  Thank you so much for listening to and watching another episode of the Wolf and Owl Podcast email special.

• 29:41Speaker 01

  Thank you, John.

• 29:41Speaker 02

  Wolfalpod at gmail dot com if you want to send us anything at all.

• 29:44Speaker 01

  Any pictures of spots or blemishes?

• 29:46Speaker 02

  Actually, it doesn't bother me, I don't look at them. Uh, thank you so much.

• 29:57Speaker 06

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• 30:28Speaker 00

  Does anyone know where the bass is?

• 30:31Speaker 05

  Hey, Bose here. When your next track starts, listen for the decisions that the artist makes. The vocal pushed right up front. The bass that waits half a beat. That sample from a 70s underground gem. Every choice deliberate. With Bose, you'll hear it all. Your music deserves Bose.