Pod Insights Wolf & Owl with Romesh Ranganathan and Tom Davis Auditions, Ranking Actors & Weird Parenting Advice About this episode What would happen if Tom and Romesh started their own Diary of a CEO?
On this week's Wolf & Owl, the boys settle into their brand new studio before taking the mickey out of some of the biggest podcasts around. From The Diary of a CEO to The Rest Is Entertainment (and even a cycling podcast nobody asked for), no podcast is safe.
Elsewhere, Tom gives Romesh some questionable dad advice, and the pair role play some bizarre audition scenarios.
As always, expect complete nonsense, the odd surprisingly wholesome moment and plenty of reasons to email us your questions, dilemmas and ideas for future episodes at [email protected]
A Ranga Bee Production in partnership with Platform Media.
Chapters
00:00 Intro
02:40 A present for Jermaine
04:48 Itchy & Scratchy vs Tom & Jerry
05:51 Auditioning
13:00 Romesh’s audition
17:16 Some Dad advice
27:14 Ranking best actors
30:16 Our own Diary Of A CEO
36:05 What can we do next?
37:10 A cyling skit
41:04 Tom’s hallmark read
42:46 Outro
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Transcript 0:00 Speaker 00 Welcome to the Wolf and I Podcast. We're in studio.
0:04 Speaker 01 Studio, but in our own studio.
0:06 Speaker 00 In our own studio.
0:07 Speaker 01 Sweet, sweet studio. A wolf and an owl.
0:10 Speaker 00 This is ours. The way things are going in six months, I could be sleeping here.
0:30 Speaker 01 Cleaned, laundered, they smell nice.
0:32 Speaker 00 There are some people that don't get under the sheets at a hotel because they don't trust them.
0:37 Speaker 01 What, what do you mean?
0:38 Speaker 00 You know, even though they've been washed, you sort of think about what's gone on.
0:41 Speaker 01 Laundry, can I say, you could eat your dinner off those beds. Shout out the laundries, the hotel washers.
0:45 Speaker 00 Yeah, but like, if you think about...
0:47 Speaker 01 That's gonna become a problem.
0:48 Speaker 00 What's gonna become from them?
0:49 Speaker 01 No, no, I quite like it.
0:51 Speaker 00 Honestly, if you think about...
0:54 Speaker 01 Everything's reassuring me, I wouldn't do that.
0:55 Speaker 00 If you think about...
0:56 Speaker 01 I'd just wipe my arse. I do, I just...
0:59 Speaker 00 I know, that's not true. If you, if you, if you think about what happens in a hotel room every night.
1:05 Speaker 01 Can I just say, by the way, a lot of times what happens in a hotel room is not that, it's just people go to sleep.
1:10 Speaker 00 I know.
1:11 Speaker 01 There's not a lot, yeah, you, you're thinking everyone's bumping uglies.
1:14 Speaker 00 Yeah, but I just think when you go into a hotel, not bumping uglies, but I mean, come on, fucking hell.
1:19 Speaker 01 I was gonna say shagging, but I felt so old saying shagging.
1:22 Speaker 00 No, but you know what, bumping uglies sounded really edgy, so well done, dodged that bullet.
1:27 Speaker 01 Who says shagging anymore?
1:29 Speaker 00 Who says bumping uglies?
1:34 Speaker 00 Anyway, how are you, Tom?
1:36 Speaker 01 I'm good, mate, I'm good, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:37 Speaker 00 What have you been up to?
1:39 Speaker 01 You know what you're like worried about, literally, this is very, very of the moment. We're sitting here, we're, I'm very much at home here, this is, this is a beautiful studio, very happy. And then I've just had this email for a part.
1:49 Speaker 00 Okay, I, I, I'm slightly... Yeah, but I'm slightly nervous for you now because this is bad. You've just received this.
1:56 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:57 Speaker 00 And now you're gonna overshare.
1:58 Speaker 01 I'm not overshare, I'm not, I'm just... I got very excited when I read the blurb. I was like, oh, this feels a bit of me, cool, like disaster stroke action movie.
2:06 Speaker 00 Movie?
2:07 Speaker 01 Yeah, very exciting, audition.
2:09 Speaker 00 You're a movie guy now, aren't you?
2:10 Speaker 01 I'm not a movie guy.
2:11 Speaker 00 You're a movie guy.
2:12 Speaker 01 I'm not, I'm not a movie guy.
2:13 Speaker 00 Well, hold on, aren't you in two films that are coming out this year?
2:16 Speaker 01 I'm in four films that are coming out this year.
2:19 Speaker 00 Is that true?
2:20 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
2:20 Speaker 00 So you're in four films this year?
2:22 Speaker 01 But not big parts.
2:22 Speaker 00 I've not been in four films in my life.
2:24 Speaker 01 Yeah, but they're not big, they're, they're, yeah, I'm, yeah, I'm a supporting actor. But this part is very, like, it's an audition, but it's very much like, I, you, I get, I get taken out pretty quick.
2:36 Speaker 00 Okay.
2:37 Speaker 01 I can't give too much, I got very excited, I read the part, I'm like, okay, I could maybe do some of this. Uh, I look at the script and I'm literally in a disaster sort of like monster movie on the first thing. I'm the, I'm like the sort of like.
2:51 Speaker 00 Well, you're not, are you? You're, this is an audition.
2:53 Speaker 01 Yeah, I'm not, I haven't got the part, I mean, yeah.
2:54 Speaker 00 So hypothetically, theoretically, if you make it through the audition.
2:57 Speaker 01 Yeah, which, by the way, I'm awful in auditions, we've covered that before.
3:00 Speaker 00 Yeah, but you're in four films this year.
3:04 Speaker 00 I'm just, I, I, well, I'm saying back to you what you said to me.
3:07 Speaker 01 Yeah, no, no, no, no.
3:08 Speaker 00 Let's not get coy now.
3:09 Speaker 01 No, no, no, but, but also, yeah, but I'm, they're, they're, I'm not like a lead actor, I'm like, I'm, I mean.
3:14 Speaker 00 All right, well, I mean, let's not, you're, you're sort of displaying arrogance in your attempt at humility here.
3:20 Speaker 01 No, I'm not arrogant, I'm just saying.
3:21 Speaker 00 You don't have to be a lead actor, you're a supporting actor in four films.
3:23 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
3:24 Speaker 00 Yeah.
3:24 Speaker 01 I'm a, yeah, I'm a, I'm a cog in a wheel.
3:26 Speaker 00 Yeah.
3:26 Speaker 01 Yeah, but I'm just saying, this one, I got very excited about, I start reading it, and then it's very much like, yeah, I'm swiped out. So there's not a lot of that, I, I thought I was gonna be a part of the, in the, in the mix of, you know, the horror of the, oh no, this thing's coming. But I just get taken out before there's any of that, so I'm the, I'm the like amuse-bouche for the monster.
3:47 Speaker 00 Yeah, but you could, is there a part of you that thinks you could turn that into an amazing, like, if you make, if you really fucking, really went for it in your cameo?
3:56 Speaker 01 How, when you go for auditions, how much do you give it?
3:59 Speaker 00 I don't really go for auditions.
4:00 Speaker 01 Because it's a really interesting thing, right? Another actor, and I won't name him, but he's a friend of mine, a friend of yours, a very good guy.
4:06 Speaker 00 Benedict Cumberbatch?
4:09 Speaker 01 He said to me, um, he never gives it too much in the first audition, because he's like, if I give it too much, and if I get, do too much stuff to it. Um, he's like, but he, he, he's like, we've done a lot of stuff.
4:22 Speaker 00 Hmm.
4:23 Speaker 01 And he's like, well, basically, we'll sometimes could become between two, like, the producer wants saying and the director wants someone, right, on a part. And so they'll usually argue over this part. They'll be like, oh, yeah, well, we think it should be Rob Beckett. We think it should be Josh Willock. They're arguing over this.
4:38 Speaker 00 Film sounds terrible.
4:41 Speaker 01 And he said, and what often happens is then you've got someone in the middle who everyone's like, yeah, he's pretty good. And they get that part. So he goes into it with this.
4:49 Speaker 00 That's how, um, isn't that how Leonardo DiCaprio got the Revenant?
4:53 Speaker 01 Really?
4:54 Speaker 00 Yeah.
4:54 Speaker 01 Oh, fuck off, what?
4:55 Speaker 00 Of course I'm fucking making it. Jesus Christ, anyway, go on.
4:59 Speaker 01 Yeah, so that he, he said he never puts too much passion in.
5:01 Speaker 00 Right, he wants to be, he's aiming to be the middle guy.
5:04 Speaker 01 He knows, but also then if he gets a callback.
5:06 Speaker 00 He, he, you're, he's auditioning to be the compromise.
5:08 Speaker 01 Also, then he also says, well, he goes in and so for your first tape, you go, well, I'm gonna give it this. And then when your second, if you get a callback, if they like, cause he said so much of it is, I mean, it's, they'll literally look and go, oh, he looks good. Yeah.
5:21 Speaker 00 Hmm.
5:21 Speaker 01 And then he'll go back in and the second time he'll give it everything. Whereas I go in with so much gusto.
5:27 Speaker 00 Okay.
5:28 Speaker 01 And then I think sometimes I probably come across too thirsty in auditions.
5:32 Speaker 00 Do you wanna do an audition now?
5:34 Speaker 01 I mean, it would be good if we had a film script that I could.
5:37 Speaker 00 Let me just find one.
5:38 Speaker 01 Okay.
5:39 Speaker 00 Bear with me one second. We can edit this out, can't we?
5:41 Speaker 01 Yeah.
5:42 Speaker 00 What film script do you want? I'm sure they're all online.
5:44 Speaker 01 Shall we do, um, Heat, the CAF, CAF scene in Heat?
5:47 Speaker 00 Okay, fine.
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7:20 Speaker 00 Remember, so I'm the casting director. So I don't have to give this anything.
7:24 Speaker 01 Yeah, you don't. Yeah, no, no.
7:25 Speaker 00 Yeah. Okay.
7:26 Speaker 01 Hi.
7:28 Speaker 00 Hello, Tom. Thank you so much for coming to me.
7:29 Speaker 01 Thank you so much for seeing me. Thank you. I love this part. I love this script.
7:33 Speaker 00 What did you think? What was your sort of take on the script?
7:35 Speaker 01 Just thought it was really, really amazing. I can see all the characters like I know them. I don't know if you've ever felt that before.
7:42 Speaker 00 Yeah.
7:42 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's really good.
7:44 Speaker 00 Oh, it's good that you feel like that.
7:45 Speaker 01 Actually, what I really love about it is like the city of LA itself is a character.
7:51 Speaker 00 Hmm, yeah, yeah, I guess so, yeah.
7:53 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah. It's really, really good. And I just hope that this gets the, if it's not me, it's someone else, but someone.
8:00 Speaker 00 Someone will get it, yeah.
8:01 Speaker 01 Yeah, but I hope it's the right person.
8:03 Speaker 00 Yeah.
8:04 Speaker 01 To bring something like this to life is an honor. So thank you so much for having me.
8:08 Speaker 00 Yeah, we've got a couple of people in the picture for it.
8:10 Speaker 01 Oh, exciting.
8:11 Speaker 00 But we're very excited to hear you.
8:13 Speaker 01 Well, thank you very much.
8:14 Speaker 00 Yeah, really interested in your take on it. So.
8:20 Speaker 01 So, um, do you wanna give me a little bit of background on the character? He's quite a cool guy, I guess.
8:24 Speaker 00 Yeah, I mean, you got it all in the notes. I imagine you read them before you arrived.
8:27 Speaker 01 Yeah, of course. I'm not off book, by the way.
8:30 Speaker 00 No, I didn't expect you would be, based on what you're wearing. Um, okay, so, uh...
8:35 Speaker 01 I have got a roll neck in my bag, if you want me to do that.
8:37 Speaker 00 No, no, no, that's fine. So, what we'll do is we'll just, what we'll do is do a read, and then I'll give you some thoughts and then maybe see if you can fold that into the second read, okay?
8:46 Speaker 01 Okay, and so basically, these two guys are in a caf, one of them's a bad guy and one's a good guy, right?
8:51 Speaker 00 Are you telling, uh, are you, yes?
8:53 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, okay.
8:54 Speaker 00 Okay. Um, all right, I'll be Hannah.
8:57 Speaker 01 Yep, and I'm Neil. I'm going for the part of Neil. Neil McCall, I believe.
9:00 Speaker 00 Yeah.
9:00 Speaker 01 Yeah.
9:01 Speaker 00 Yeah, okay, so you, I mean, you read the, the covering email, yeah.
9:05 Speaker 01 So he's cool, okay.
9:06 Speaker 00 Seven years in Folsom, in the hole for three, McNeil before that.
9:10 Speaker 01 Yeah.
9:14 Speaker 00 McNeil, was McNeil as tough as they say?
9:16 Speaker 01 You're looking to become a pedologist.
9:20 Speaker 00 So, can we just hold on one second, just stop the ca... You okay, Tom?
9:24 Speaker 01 So, yeah, no, I went with the idea that he's halfway through his fry up.
9:28 Speaker 00 No, I saw that, yeah.
9:29 Speaker 01 I actually think that he'd be drinking just a coffee.
9:31 Speaker 00 But, um, and did the fry up, um, stop him from being able to pronounce "penologist"?
9:36 Speaker 01 I didn't know how to pronounce that name, or I don't actually know what it is.
9:39 Speaker 00 You have, but you've read, I mean, I know you're off book, but you've seen the words before, right?
9:42 Speaker 01 You have, I didn't know what that was, so I was just sort of...
9:44 Speaker 00 Shall we go from the top?
9:45 Speaker 01 Yeah, okay, so I'm just gonna drink your coffee, because I actually think...
9:47 Speaker 00 Okay, fine, yeah, yeah, well, have you wanted it?
9:48 Speaker 01 Okay, cool.
9:50 Speaker 00 Okay, and let's go. You ready?
9:51 Speaker 01 Yep.
9:52 Speaker 00 Okay. Seven years in Folsom, in the hole for three, McNeil before that.
9:57 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
9:59 Speaker 00 Was McNeil as tough as they say?
10:01 Speaker 01 Wait, are you looking to become a pedologist?
10:03 Speaker 00 Okay, may I just stop again? It's "penologist".
10:06 Speaker 01 Okay, I'm so sorry.
10:07 Speaker 00 Okay, what we'll do is, um, if you mispronounce it again, we'll just carry on.
10:11 Speaker 01 Penologist, okay.
10:12 Speaker 00 But it's "penologist".
10:13 Speaker 01 Okay, let's go from the top.
10:13 Speaker 00 Okay. Uh, seven years in Folsom, in the hole for three, McNeil before that.
10:19 Speaker 01 Yeah.
10:22 Speaker 00 Was McNeil as tough as they say? We'll carry on.
10:25 Speaker 01 You looking to become a penologist, huh?
10:28 Speaker 00 You looking to go back? You know, I just chase, I chase some crews, guys just looking to fuck up, get busted back. That you?
10:34 Speaker 01 You must have worked some dipshit crews.
10:38 Speaker 00 I worked all kinds.
10:40 Speaker 01 You see me doing thrill, sick and liquor chasing holdups with born to lose tattoo on my neck or chest?
10:51 Speaker 00 No, I do not.
10:52 Speaker 01 Right.
10:55 Speaker 01 I ain't never going back.
10:59 Speaker 00 Then don't take down scores.
11:01 Speaker 01 I do what I do best. I take down scores. You do what you do best, trying to stuff guys like me.
11:09 Speaker 00 So you never wanted a regular type life?
11:12 Speaker 01 What the fuck is that, huh? Barbecues and ball games?
11:18 Speaker 00 Yeah.
11:21 Speaker 01 What, this regular life? That's your life, buddy?
11:24 Speaker 00 Okay, just, can we just stop there? Can we scroll back up, please? There's one particular line that I'd love to hear you read on again, if that's okay, Tom. I do, I, I will have to look back at the recording, but it sounded like you said, you see me doing thrill, sick and liquor, still holdups with the born to lo- lose tattoo on my neck or chest?
11:44 Speaker 01 Well, the way I see this character is like, it's easy like to read this and be really slick and cool, but if he gets a little bit tripped up in his words.
11:50 Speaker 00 Sure, but I think, should we try and find that within the line? So do you want to just give me that again?
11:54 Speaker 01 Yeah, okay.
11:56 Speaker 01 Where was I with the sandwich? Do you remember?
11:58 Speaker 00 I thought you had a coffee.
11:59 Speaker 01 I did, but then I went for a sandwich.
12:01 Speaker 00 Had the sandwich been there the whole time?
12:02 Speaker 01 I had the sandwich for this take, yeah.
12:04 Speaker 00 I don't think it, I.
12:05 Speaker 01 If you're gonna cut this take together and show Michael Mann, I really like the whole.
12:08 Speaker 00 Why don't you worry, let me worry about what Michael Mann's gonna say, okay? If, if it makes you feel better, Michael, we're not sure on the sandwich continuity.
12:16 Speaker 01 Okay, I'm just gonna have the sandwich like this, just so you know what I'm doing, so it can be cut in. You see me doing thrill seeker, liquor, star holdups with a born to lose tattoo on my chest, buddy?
12:28 Speaker 00 There's no buddy in the line, that's.
12:30 Speaker 01 Yeah, I know, but I'm trying, that's, that's my interpretation of the character, he calls everyone buddy.
12:35 Speaker 00 Okay. Can we just scroll down a bit further, please? There's a little chunk of monologue here.
12:40 Speaker 01 I need you to feed me in this, because it's quite important, yeah, okay.
12:43 Speaker 00 Okay, fine.
12:44 Speaker 01 Just give me the last few lines.
12:45 Speaker 00 Okay, fine. Uh, I got a wife, we're passing each other on the downslope of a marriage, my third.
12:54 Speaker 00 Because I spend all my time chasing guys like you round the block, that's my life.
12:59 Speaker 01 Guy told me one time, don't let yourself get attached to anything you're not willing to walk out on in thirty seconds flat. If you feel the heat around the corner. Now, if you're on me and you gotta move when I move.
13:18 Speaker 01 How do you expect to keep a marriage?
13:22 Speaker 00 Great, I think we've got everything. I think that is, thank you so much, Tom.
13:27 Speaker 01 Uh, do you think the apple, uh, the, the?
13:29 Speaker 00 The apple?
13:29 Speaker 01 No, no, no, the sandwich was, did you think the sandwich added something to it?
13:34 Speaker 00 It added something, uh, yeah, uh, certainly added a bit of confusion to your delivery.
13:39 Speaker 01 Thank you. No, it's, I always think, because it's a power move eating, so, so thank you, anyway.
13:44 Speaker 00 Yeah, thanks so much for coming.
13:45 Speaker 01 By the way, send Michael Ma- uh, man.
13:48 Speaker 00 It's Michael Mann.
13:49 Speaker 01 Yeah, my regards, please.
13:50 Speaker 00 Will do. Yeah, thank you, thanks.
13:52 Speaker 01 So, yeah, that's how I go in.
13:54 Speaker 00 Okay.
13:54 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, usually I'm off.
13:56 Speaker 00 I mean, you're taking the piss, you'd have prepped a lot more.
13:58 Speaker 01 Yeah, of course I'd be off the book, but I.
14:00 Speaker 00 Would you do the sandwich thing, do you think?
14:01 Speaker 01 Yeah, I think if I felt the thing was right. I think sometimes you need to lay down a statement, you know, in all audition. How, I mean, I'd love to see how you, how you audition.
14:10 Speaker 00 What do you mean?
14:11 Speaker 01 Well, we've done me, I'd like to see, because you're, you're pretty slick, I can imagine.
14:14 Speaker 00 Not really.
14:15 Speaker 01 Okay, well, what's your favorite, what film, what scene is your, what scene stands out that we get a real romish moment?
14:20 Speaker 00 I don't know.
14:20 Speaker 01 I think like something quite romantic, what's that one of the most romantic?
14:23 Speaker 00 Four Weddings and a Funeral.
14:24 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah, yeah, it could be nice, yeah.
14:26 Speaker 00 Now, what's, I'm just, oh no, let's do Not in Hell, okay, you can be Julia Roberts, I'll be.
14:29 Speaker 01 Yeah, let's do that. Okay, cool, you're Julia, I'm Hugh, all right, so let's just do you coming in, okay?
14:34 Speaker 00 Um. Hi, I'm Ramesh.
14:37 Speaker 01 Uh, Ranganathan.
14:38 Speaker 00 Yes.
14:39 Speaker 01 Ah, okay.
14:40 Speaker 00 Thanks, uh, thanks so much for seeing me.
14:42 Speaker 01 No, thank you for coming in.
14:43 Speaker 00 Loved it, I absolutely loved the script.
14:45 Speaker 01 Yes, no, it's a wonderful script.
14:46 Speaker 00 It sort of does that thing of like, um.
14:49 Speaker 01 Making you fall in love all over again?
14:51 Speaker 00 Yeah, no way, I guess so, yeah.
14:53 Speaker 01 No, no, no, it's beautiful, we're very lucky to have it coming across our desk. So, yeah, and we've all been very excited to see what your interpretation would be.
15:00 Speaker 00 Oh, thanks, well, I mean, I'm just honoured to be asked, to be honest with you.
15:03 Speaker 01 Yes.
15:03 Speaker 00 To read for it, so thank you.
15:04 Speaker 01 So you are reading for Julia, um, in this.
15:09 Speaker 00 Oh, okay, I, I, it's actually prepared for.
15:13 Speaker 01 Well, the part that we've got for you isn't fully written, so you are gonna, we just need to see what you can do in this situation.
15:17 Speaker 00 Okay.
15:18 Speaker 01 Okay.
15:18 Speaker 00 And, and just so I know, Julia is British?
15:20 Speaker 01 Uh, she's American, but you can play it British if you're worried about her being.
15:24 Speaker 00 Okay.
15:25 Speaker 01 You can play it in your own accent, or you can play it in.
15:27 Speaker 00 No, I can do it American.
15:28 Speaker 01 There's also a part as a wacky sidekick, we haven't got that script yet, so. We'll see what you could do.
15:35 Speaker 00 I'm sure that's going to reseep, isn't it? Anyway, okay, let's, um.
15:38 Speaker 01 But if you can imagine, you've read the whole script?
15:41 Speaker 00 Yeah.
15:41 Speaker 01 So they're in love, um, so.
15:43 Speaker 00 Well, this is, yeah.
15:45 Speaker 01 We need you, not, you're, you're in love, you're not a victim of your love, you're still very sexual, okay?
15:51 Speaker 00 That, that's not, I mean, the scene that you've, uh, the scene that we're doing isn't, doesn't feel that sexual, it's sort of a reconciliation.
15:58 Speaker 01 Yes, but you still have sexual in you, okay?
16:01 Speaker 00 Sexual in you?
16:02 Speaker 01 Yeah, sexual in you.
16:04 Speaker 00 Okay.
16:04 Speaker 01 So you're still very, yeah.
16:06 Speaker 00 Okay.
16:08 Speaker 00 What's wrong?
16:09 Speaker 01 Well, just imagine you're being sexy.
16:11 Speaker 00 Well, I've not, we've not started yet, have we?
16:14 Speaker 01 Okay.
16:16 Speaker 00 Are we going?
16:17 Speaker 01 Yeah, but remember you've got to knock on the door first.
16:19 Speaker 00 Oh, right, yeah. Knock, knock?
16:24 Speaker 01 Um, less is more, less is more.
16:27 Speaker 00 Okay, knock, knock?
16:31 Speaker 00 Hi.
16:34 Speaker 00 Can you love me again?
16:35 Speaker 01 No. I'm slowly but surely starting to figure out that you're a selfish wanker. And I can't let you hurt me again. Pugs.
16:44 Speaker 00 But I'm just a girl.
16:47 Speaker 00 Standing in front of a boy. Asking him to love me.
16:51 Speaker 01 No, no, no, no.
16:53 Speaker 00 So that's what I thought you were just doing for me to do?
16:55 Speaker 01 No, just go like you're.
16:57 Speaker 00 I'm just a girl. Standing in front of a boy. Asking him to love me. I don't think that's, sorry to, I don't know if that's how it'll be played.
17:06 Speaker 01 I just, just.
17:08 Speaker 00 That doesn't feel like how it's written.
17:10 Speaker 01 Just give me something more like that. At front, let's do it again for the top.
17:14 Speaker 00 Okay. Knock, knock. Hi. Can you love me again?
17:19 Speaker 01 No, I'm slowly but surely starting to figure out you're a selfish wanker. I can't let you hurt me again. Bollocks.
17:29 Speaker 00 But I'm just a girl.
17:32 Speaker 00 Standing in front of a boy.
17:36 Speaker 00 Asking him to love me.
17:38 Speaker 01 Love her.
17:39 Speaker 00 Her.
17:40 Speaker 01 That was really sexy.
17:42 Speaker 00 I'm just a girl. Standing in front of a boy.
17:49 Speaker 00 Asking him to love her.
17:51 Speaker 01 Thank you for coming in, mate. See, but actually, you know what? You took notes really well.
17:57 Speaker 00 Thanks.
17:57 Speaker 01 That's one of the big things at casting directors.
17:59 Speaker 00 Yeah, thank you. I mean, there is no way that this is the real script.
18:02 Speaker 01 No, but it's, this is all we've got.
18:04 Speaker 00 Yeah, okay.
18:05 Speaker 01 It's also, this feels like a sad rip off of, because they're called Julia and Hugh.
18:09 Speaker 00 Yeah.
18:09 Speaker 01 One of their characters.
18:10 Speaker 00 Yeah, I don't think in the script it says Julia and Hugh, does it?
18:12 Speaker 01 Wouldn't it be awful if you were auditioning for either of those parts?
18:14 Speaker 00 Yeah.
18:15 Speaker 01 And go, is this written for Julia Roberts and Hugh Brown?
18:17 Speaker 00 Although in Cinderella, I did play Ramesh.
18:19 Speaker 01 Did you?
18:20 Speaker 00 Yeah.
18:20 Speaker 01 Oh, wow. You know, I, um, early on in my career, I did a part and a character was called Greg. And as we were sort of doing a, like a read through.
18:31 Speaker 00 He realised it's Greg Davis.
18:31 Speaker 01 I went, uh, this is obviously Greg Davis, uh, sort of joking, and they went, yeah, yeah, no, he can do it.
18:38 Speaker 00 Oh, God.
18:41 Speaker 01 So never call a character. Yeah.
18:46 Speaker 00 All right, well that was good.
18:47 Speaker 01 Yeah, I enjoyed it. We've gone off a tangent I didn't expect to go there. How have you been, my baby?
18:52 Speaker 00 Yeah, I've been good. I am having a little bit of a thing with the, uh, the boys.
18:58 Speaker 01 Oh, it's spaghetti here for dad advice.
19:01 Speaker 00 Yeah, I'd love to get some dad advice if possible.
19:03 Speaker 01 Okay, I've got three sons, I've got a daughter, but I can help.
19:04 Speaker 00 Um, six evenings a week, I'm not at home. And the good thing is I don't bring it home and sort of start talking about how even though I'm chasing my dreams, it's not working out exactly how I wanted and Lisa listens to me talk about it.
19:15 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
19:17 Speaker 00 Oh god, she's so lucky. Anyway, the point is, she's doing a lot of running around after the boys.
19:23 Speaker 01 She's had to basically, it's almost like, if you put it in football analogy, it's a bit like when Saliba got injured for Arsenal and Gabrielle's having to do twice the work.
19:32 Speaker 00 Yeah, like when, when I'm away, Lisa's got to do the, the drop offs, she's got to do the running around, she's doing the dinners and stuff like that, whereas when I'm at home, all she's doing then is the drop offs, the running around and the dinners. But, um, so, the problem that I've got is, is that the boys, because Lisa's so good, they're not being as grateful and they're getting a little bit... Do you know that thing about where, um, it starts off with gratitude, then it moves to expectation and then it moves to resentment?
20:03 Speaker 01 Wow.
20:04 Speaker 00 I don't think they resent Lisa, but sometimes I feel like they're expecting these things to happen. So much so that it's got to the point now where I think I need to have a chat with them.
20:15 Speaker 01 Wow. This is the first time we've...
20:17 Speaker 00 And just be like a bit grateful, you know, Lisa's like...
20:20 Speaker 01 Can I say by the way, you've melted a bit already?
20:23 Speaker 00 Why?
20:23 Speaker 01 Well, because when you were doing that, even I was like, wow, this is like a dominant force in the house.
20:28 Speaker 00 And then what happened?
20:28 Speaker 01 And then you just went, and you just...
20:31 Speaker 00 Well, I don't want to keep doing that the whole fucking time. I'm going to move at some point, aren't I?
20:34 Speaker 01 No, but you can't like, you're going in there, sort of like, you're going, yeah, I'm not having... You actually, you had like Brando-esque, like...
20:42 Speaker 00 Yeah, but that's not how I want to parent.
20:43 Speaker 01 No, no, but you, no.
20:44 Speaker 00 I don't want to parent like this.
20:45 Speaker 01 Yeah, but also, by the way...
20:47 Speaker 00 This is aggressive, isn't it?
20:48 Speaker 01 Yeah, but you haven't got to, you can stroke it slowly like that.
20:51 Speaker 00 That feels sexual.
20:53 Speaker 01 What I'm saying is this, and then you sort of melt a little bit and all your bodies...
20:56 Speaker 00 Did I start to? Okay.
20:58 Speaker 01 You can't do that.
20:59 Speaker 00 All right.
20:59 Speaker 01 You know?
21:00 Speaker 00 And by the way, can I just say, before we carry on, this means a lot because I know how steely you are with grass.
21:07 Speaker 01 Oh no, can I just say? This is the most like hypocritical advice ever given.
21:12 Speaker 00 Correct. You are the chocolate fondant.
21:14 Speaker 01 I am, I am literally the biggest mug, like the level of mug that I've become in my house is. Grace and Catherine, like, I'll do something I think will be funny for a four year old that she'll laugh at.
21:27 Speaker 00 Oh, hold on a sec. Did you hear that?
21:29 Speaker 01 What's that?
21:30 Speaker 00 I think it might have been Josh and Rob panicking. Somebody's moving on to their territory.
21:37 Speaker 01 I did say that. Have you seen the Bluey episode Rug Island?
21:40 Speaker 00 No.
21:42 Speaker 01 There's a great episode of Bluey called Rug Island where Bluey and Bingo are playing with their dad.
21:47 Speaker 00 Yeah.
21:47 Speaker 01 Uh, a game on a rug where they've got felt tips and they do this imaginary game where they're catching fish. Well, I brought some, um. I brought some felt tips for me and Grace and I threw them all over the floor and then I'm like sort of, and she was playing for a little bit and then I, um. I sort of went, oh, we, we need, we need to build a bridge to the next island. So I've got loads of pillows and I was sort of throwing and leaping from pillow to pillow. And I sort of slipped a bit and Grace looked at Catherine and she went, oh, oh dad. Look at this, oh dad. Catherine just started laughing. It was really funny. It was like, you know, like.
22:23 Speaker 00 Like she thinks you're a pathetic loser.
22:25 Speaker 01 Yeah, like she thinks I'm an absolute joke. So no, I'm, I'm, but I'm giving this advice on the basis that.
22:31 Speaker 00 Yeah, do as I, do as I say, not as I do.
22:33 Speaker 01 Exactly. But what I'm saying is like, you've got three, they're three lovely boys.
22:37 Speaker 00 They're great lads.
22:38 Speaker 01 They're amazing lads, but they're all of an age now. And I think you'd agree, they, they are very, very funny boys. They love Mickey taking.
22:46 Speaker 00 They love it.
22:47 Speaker 01 Very much like their father, right?
22:49 Speaker 00 I don't like Mickey taking.
22:49 Speaker 01 You're one of the best Mickey takers. That should be an insult, what, that's a compliment. You're great, a bloody banner. But I'm just saying. I'm just saying, I'm just saying, you've got to go in there now, not as like, oh dad's our best mate, oh dad, come here, you mask, all right? You've got to go in there.
23:05 Speaker 00 They're not, my children have put me in a headlock.
23:07 Speaker 01 Yeah, okay. But sometimes, yeah.
23:09 Speaker 00 Yeah, they've tried. Fucking after about forty five minutes, I got out of it. So that shows you.
23:15 Speaker 01 I'd just say when you go in there, you've got to go in there as not necessarily doing this, the woodpecker. But go in there as, you know, have a little bit of more, like, you know, a little bit of authority, a little bit of swag, wear some of your nice clothes.
23:27 Speaker 00 Why? I'm not dressing up to speak to my children.
23:29 Speaker 01 No, but you don't wear your old, like, sort of, like, tracksuit bottoms where the waist is going, an old Arsenal shirt. It's not too, like, you know, wear something that feels like, you know, makes you feel nice and then you'll feel more, like, confident.
23:43 Speaker 00 I don't know, this feels like dating advice.
23:46 Speaker 01 No, I'm just saying if your boys are sitting there, right, they're all playing a computer and you come walking in, they're like, oh my god, dad, put it away.
23:53 Speaker 00 I'm not walking around with my dick out.
23:55 Speaker 01 No, but I mean, if you're wearing a pair of, like, they could see it through the.
23:59 Speaker 00 Tom, Tom, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know what you think I'm walking around the house in. But my chi- they're not going, fucking, oh, dad, can you put your cock away again?
24:11 Speaker 01 No, no, but you, like, but it's not that out, it's more of a figurative, like, a joke.
24:16 Speaker 00 No, they're not, there's not a suggestion of it, it's not silhouetted. They can't see it pressed against my thigh by, from a tight legging, all right? They're not seeing any of that.
24:30 Speaker 01 Okay.
24:33 Speaker 01 But when you come in, yeah, you've just got your nice, you put, wear your nice.
24:35 Speaker 00 Fine, I've got, I'll come in in a suit, what are they doing?
24:38 Speaker 01 Yeah, can't nor ask. They're playing on their PS5, right? Call of Duty or Grand Theft Auto, I'm saying, oh, you're cool, right? And they're like, oh, crips, you just bloody killed me, mate. And then, yeah.
24:51 Speaker 00 What do I say? Why are you beha- why are you behaving like you're in the beano? Who the fuck says crips?
24:57 Speaker 01 What are they swearing?
24:58 Speaker 00 Sometimes they do.
24:59 Speaker 01 Okay.
24:59 Speaker 00 They're allowed a bit of an amnesty.
25:00 Speaker 01 Oh, you fucking louse, you bloody killed me, mate.
25:04 Speaker 00 Uh, boys, can I?
25:05 Speaker 01 Oh, just in the middle of a game.
25:06 Speaker 00 No, no, no, no, no, I need to quit.
25:07 Speaker 01 We're just playing a game, mate. Dad, I've never got it. What? What are you doing? Are you silly?
25:14 Speaker 00 I know you're not talking to me like that. I need to have a chat with you.
25:18 Speaker 01 Oh my god, what's happened?
25:20 Speaker 00 Mum's dead.
25:21 Speaker 01 What?
25:22 Speaker 00 Is what I could be saying to you one day.
25:24 Speaker 01 Okay.
25:25 Speaker 00 And you'd really regret it. I've gone quite, it's really heavy.
25:29 Speaker 01 Christ.
25:30 Speaker 00 I've said, she's not, she's not, let me be, she's not, but let me try again, um.
25:34 Speaker 01 What do you even want?
25:36 Speaker 00 They, I mean, you've got to be a bit like how the kids are.
25:39 Speaker 01 Okay, okay. What do you even want?
25:45 Speaker 00 Um, you've not been, you've been a bit rude to mum. Mum's like running around doing loads of-
25:49 Speaker 01 We love mum.
25:50 Speaker 00 Sure, but you're sort of taking her for granted a little bit.
25:54 Speaker 01 In what sense? What do you even mean? Think about what you're gonna say and say it.
25:57 Speaker 00 I've not even finished the sentence.
26:00 Speaker 01 I'm so annoyed.
26:01 Speaker 00 Do you wanna let me just get this out?
26:02 Speaker 01 That was my friend Wesley from America.
26:04 Speaker 00 Okay.
26:04 Speaker 01 He's going for a lot right now.
26:07 Speaker 00 Well, I hope his son's been not as much of a prick as you are. Listen, mum's running around, she does the most of you of anyone.
26:13 Speaker 01 Yeah.
26:15 Speaker 00 And you are being rude to her, you're expecting stuff, you're not being grateful. You, you're close to a situation where she's just gonna stop doing this stuff and you can find your own way.
26:25 Speaker 01 Wow.
26:26 Speaker 00 I sometimes do not like the way that you speak to mum. Uh, so I'm actually, I actually find it embarrassing. I would not speak to mum the way you speak to mum, and I'm an adult.
26:34 Speaker 01 You're always taking the mick out of your mum.
26:36 Speaker 00 Out of my mum?
26:37 Speaker 01 Yeah.
26:37 Speaker 00 Yeah, well, I tell you what, you find a way to monetize it and you can do it.
26:42 Speaker 01 I'm sorry dad, when you're like this, you're so cool.
26:48 Speaker 01 That was genuinely, by the way, kick arse.
26:51 Speaker 00 Do you like that? Yeah?
26:52 Speaker 01 That was ki-
26:52 Speaker 00 Do you think that would work?
26:53 Speaker 01 That's what it, yes! Bro, that was, that was, it's like, that was like cool hand look kind of vibe. That was, you had an edge, bro.
27:01 Speaker 00 Right.
27:01 Speaker 01 Mate, that's serious. You go like that, I'm gonna tell you something as well.
27:05 Speaker 00 Yeah, go.
27:05 Speaker 01 Lisa's standing in the background, you doing that?
27:08 Speaker 00 Yeah.
27:09 Speaker 01 Forget about it.
27:10 Speaker 00 What does that mean?
27:10 Speaker 01 She's gonna be like, there he is.
27:14 Speaker 01 Wow.
27:17 Speaker 00 You think I'll have sex?
27:18 Speaker 01 Uh, yes.
27:19 Speaker 00 Hmm.
27:20 Speaker 01 And by the way, then that will become the character you'll probably have to become more and more in the house. Thus, in real life, you'll become that person more and more.
27:26 Speaker 00 It could be game changing.
27:27 Speaker 01 Yeah.
27:29 Speaker 00 I mean, I'd say stuff like that to the kids all the time. Not all the time, but thi- this is quite, it's not serious, but it needs an intervention.
27:34 Speaker 01 Yeah, but, yeah, but, but you do it like that, I guarantee you, now listen. Don't turn off the Playstation halfway through though, it's a big, big move. Have you done that before?
27:41 Speaker 00 No, because they, they would never continue playing the game if I had to speak to them.
27:45 Speaker 01 Wow. Yeah, by the way, you have so much respect in your head. So you're telling me, you go into the room-
27:50 Speaker 00 No, if I, if I went in and just casually started saying da, da, da, they would carry on playing. But if I said I need to have a word with you, they would-
27:55 Speaker 01 My iPad got broken the other day because I said to Grace, Grace, you need to stop playing that, I wanna talk to you. And she said, like that, and looked at me, and I went, Grace, serious? And she went, and flew on the floor.
28:06 Speaker 00 Hmm, I'm starting to wonder why I'm getting the advice from you.
28:10 Speaker 01 Yeah, I know, yeah.
28:10 Speaker 00 It sounds like you're living.
28:11 Speaker 01 When she's a bit older, I can, I can, you know, four, it's very hard.
28:14 Speaker 00 So is it broken?
28:15 Speaker 01 It's a little crack on the screen, yeah.
28:17 Speaker 00 Is it her iPad?
28:17 Speaker 01 That's mine, that's mine.
28:19 Speaker 00 So.
28:21 Speaker 01 She's breaking my things. It's like I've got a really abusive cellmate.
28:25 Speaker 00 But she didn't, I'm being a prick there. She didn't know, you know, she's not, kids don't know how much this shit's worth.
28:30 Speaker 01 No, no, no, no. No, but yeah, but it was also she could have turned it off or handed it to me and she chose to throw it on the floor. It was a little bit like, you know.
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29:44 Speaker 00 Oh God, I really like this parenting. How, what other podcast should we rip off and start doing stuff?
29:49 Speaker 01 Uh, who else is there? Rest is history, rest entertainment. Oh my God.
29:52 Speaker 00 Rest is entertainment. Okay, let's do rest is entertainment.
29:54 Speaker 01 Yeah.
29:55 Speaker 00 Um.
29:56 Speaker 01 Who are you gonna be?
29:57 Speaker 00 Well, we weren't Josh and Rob in that when we did.
29:59 Speaker 01 No, I guess, yeah, yeah. Entertainment wise.
30:03 Speaker 00 Yeah.
30:03 Speaker 01 I would say.
30:04 Speaker 00 So actually, it's um, it's interesting because uh, it's a big TV show, sure. But actually. I'm just, I'm doing a bit now. It's a big TV show, sure, but actually, anybody sort of in the know will tell you, they're not actually getting on behind the scenes. And actually, that is something that the production team have had to work around.
30:25 Speaker 01 Well, really?
30:26 Speaker 00 Hmm.
30:26 Speaker 01 Okay, who's not speaking?
30:28 Speaker 00 Why don't we do a thing where I name people in entertainment and you give them a mark out of ten based on how valuable they are?
30:35 Speaker 01 Okay, cool.
30:36 Speaker 00 Yeah, okay. Um, Tom Davis.
30:38 Speaker 01 Um, four and a half, five?
30:40 Speaker 00 Um, Idris Elba.
30:44 Speaker 01 Eight?
30:45 Speaker 00 Uh, Claudia Winkleman.
30:48 Speaker 01 Eight, nine?
30:49 Speaker 00 Okay, why is, can I just stop this a little bit for a minute? Why is Claudia Winkleman above Idris Elba?
30:54 Speaker 01 Because she is literally going like this.
30:56 Speaker 00 Okay, and what's Idris Elba doing?
30:57 Speaker 01 Oh, he's going like that. He's been steady for a long, Idris was a ten.
31:00 Speaker 00 Right.
31:00 Speaker 01 I think he look, he's.
31:01 Speaker 00 So Idris has declined?
31:04 Speaker 01 He did The Wire, arguably the best performance from an English actor I've ever seen. Like, the Stringer Bell in The Wire is one of the greatest.
31:13 Speaker 00 Have you seen Cinderella on Amazon?
31:15 Speaker 01 No, I'm just saying.
31:16 Speaker 00 I'm just saying.
31:16 Speaker 01 I'm saying everything, anything from Stringer Bell is a step down.
31:19 Speaker 00 Okay.
31:20 Speaker 01 Stringer Bell is a work of, it's genuinely one of the best performances I've ever seen from anyone.
31:24 Speaker 00 So you didn't like Luther, why?
31:25 Speaker 01 I like Luther. I just didn't think it was good to just go to Stringer Bell.
31:27 Speaker 00 Okay. So you didn't like Hijack, why?
31:30 Speaker 01 I loved Hijack, I thought it was outstanding.
31:32 Speaker 00 But you think Idris Elba's sort of been like that? You're basically.
31:34 Speaker 01 No, no, no, right, hey, hey, you're doing the Gordon Ramsay again here.
31:37 Speaker 00 I'm not doing anything.
31:38 Speaker 01 You are being, I'm saying, I'm saying, the guy's a ten.
31:41 Speaker 00 I'm repurposing what you're saying.
31:43 Speaker 01 He's Stringer Bell, right?
31:44 Speaker 00 Right.
31:44 Speaker 01 He's a ten.
31:45 Speaker 00 Right.
31:45 Speaker 01 And that is the biggest accolade I could give anyone.
31:48 Speaker 00 Hmm.
31:48 Speaker 01 Right? And he's, the things he's done, that's not an eight, it's like, who are we talking about as tens?
31:54 Speaker 00 I don't know, you gave Claudia Winkleman a nine. Who's a ten to you?
31:57 Speaker 01 Uh, Leo.
31:59 Speaker 00 Leo DiCaprio.
31:59 Speaker 01 Jennifer Lawrence.
32:01 Speaker 00 Yeah.
32:02 Speaker 01 Margot Robbie, probably an eleven if there's such a thing.
32:04 Speaker 00 That was so disgusting to watch happen.
32:07 Speaker 01 Well, Margot Robbie, no, as an actress.
32:10 Speaker 00 Yeah, I know that she did that.
32:11 Speaker 01 Margot Robbie is, I think, almost peerless now.
32:14 Speaker 00 Do you think so?
32:15 Speaker 01 Recently, yeah. I think she's incredible. Barbie, the phenomenon that is.
32:20 Speaker 00 Incredible.
32:20 Speaker 01 Right, Wuthering Heights.
32:21 Speaker 00 Yeah.
32:21 Speaker 01 Margot Robbie is literally, like, going even back to, uh, the, yeah, everything she's done.
32:28 Speaker 00 Do you know something? We, we have done two piss take, not piss takes.
32:33 Speaker 01 Yeah.
32:33 Speaker 00 We've entered into the world of two other podcasts. Both of them I enjoyed more than the regular podcasts. We actually started talking about something.
32:41 Speaker 01 Yeah.
32:42 Speaker 00 You know?
32:42 Speaker 01 Yeah, but Margot Robbie is incredible.
32:44 Speaker 00 Yeah, she's incredible.
32:45 Speaker 01 I'll tell you one we should do.
32:46 Speaker 00 Yeah.
32:47 Speaker 01 Diary of a C E O.
32:48 Speaker 00 Okay, fine. So who do you, who wants to be Bartlett?
32:50 Speaker 01 I think I could probably do Bartlett.
32:52 Speaker 00 Okay, who, who am I gonna be?
32:53 Speaker 01 Uh.
32:54 Speaker 00 Like, cause there's, there's different eras of Bartlett.
32:57 Speaker 01 Yeah.
32:58 Speaker 00 Because like, there's the one where he just sort of chats to people and makes them cry. Or there's one where he talks to some expert who says something.
33:03 Speaker 01 Yeah, and then, then there's this one now of like, this sort of almost, everyone in it is like, is like a genial sort of, it's enlightenment.
33:11 Speaker 00 Yeah, okay.
33:12 Speaker 01 All, all of them are quite, yeah.
33:14 Speaker 00 Okay, so what do you want this to be?
33:16 Speaker 01 You, you, who are you? What character do you feel comfortable portraying?
33:19 Speaker 00 My name is Jay Stromberger.
33:22 Speaker 01 Okay, well, cool name.
33:24 Speaker 00 Uh, I'm from Guildford.
33:26 Speaker 01 Guildford?
33:26 Speaker 00 Yeah.
33:27 Speaker 01 Okay.
33:28 Speaker 00 And, um, I'm an entrepreneur.
33:30 Speaker 01 And what are you selling?
33:31 Speaker 00 Happiness.
33:32 Speaker 01 Okay, cool. Well, welcome. Today I am joined, and well, one of the most outstanding human beings I've ever met in my life. Um, I met him at the Super Bowl. Uh, I was there with my friends Thierry Henry, uh, um, Robert De Niro, and loads of other really cool, famous people, because that's who I hang around with now. Um, and this gentleman was there, and he came over and he started talking to us about what he's selling. And I think it's fair to say we all brought what you're selling that day. It was incredible. It was so enlightening. So anyway, Jay, Jay Stromberger. Welcome to the Diary of C E N O.
34:11 Speaker 00 Thanks, Stephen. Thanks, Stephen. Um.
34:13 Speaker 01 Sponsored by P and O Ferris.
34:15 Speaker 00 Yeah.
34:16 Speaker 01 Um, so it's wonderful to have you here.
34:19 Speaker 00 Thank you. Thanks so much. And actually, weird one, it's a funny thing, because at the Super Bowl.
34:24 Speaker 01 Yes.
34:26 Speaker 01 I remember turning around and saying, uh, two beers, please, and you came over and said.
34:32 Speaker 00 Alcohol will end you.
34:33 Speaker 01 Yes. And then I said, actually, uh, make mine a root beer, because it's not got alcohol in, even though until I was.
34:43 Speaker 01 Fifteen, sixteen, I thought we did.
34:47 Speaker 00 So what's the question?
34:50 Speaker 01 So, as a CEO of this thing, so what are you selling? That's what I'm trying to say. So you're selling something that I wanted to buy, and I think you're incredible, by the way.
35:00 Speaker 00 Well, we, I was sitting with a friend and we were having dinner.
35:04 Speaker 01 Mind blown, mind blown.
35:08 Speaker 00 In Saint Moritz and.
35:10 Speaker 01 No, well, I've been there, I've stayed there three times.
35:12 Speaker 00 We'd just done a day skiing.
35:14 Speaker 01 Nice, I like skiing too.
35:15 Speaker 00 And I'd spent sort of my lunch kind of trying to be across emails and stuff like that. And at the end of the day, we're sort of sat having, doing a bit of après ski.
35:24 Speaker 01 When all of the best thought, thinking is done is at the end of the day.
35:28 Speaker 00 Actually, that's one of the things that the, actually, this data doesn't back that up.
35:33 Speaker 01 What? That's a, what? I don't believe it.
35:37 Speaker 00 Actually, what a lot of people don't realise is almost exclusively, people's best ideas happen between two seventeen and two thirty one AM.
35:48 Speaker 01 That makes sense.
35:50 Speaker 00 And actually.
35:50 Speaker 01 So much sense.
35:51 Speaker 00 What you find is a lot of people are getting up at sort of seven or eight, going into work, and then they are devoting their least creative time to their work. And then, Stephen.
36:05 Speaker 01 Guilty of that, I'm guilty of that.
36:06 Speaker 00 Through the night, when our brains actually have conclusively been shown.
36:10 Speaker 01 Yeah.
36:11 Speaker 00 To be at their most high, high end operational.
36:15 Speaker 01 Trying to say we should be doing.
36:17 Speaker 00 I'm saying, and the whole thing about Strom is, stop sleepwalking through your life.
36:25 Speaker 01 Oh my god.
36:28 Speaker 01 I do sleepwalk through my life.
36:33 Speaker 00 I've got to say, it's, I don't think you displayed any of Stephen Bartlett's characteristics at all there.
36:41 Speaker 01 It wasn't one of my best.
36:41 Speaker 00 I thought I nailed Jay Stromberger.
36:43 Speaker 01 You were great. No, I was trying to go.
36:45 Speaker 00 Does Stephen Bartlett do that?
36:46 Speaker 01 He does sometimes. He sometimes.
36:48 Speaker 00 Does he do that?
36:49 Speaker 01 Overeats sort of the smallest minutiae ever. I was probably adding some to it.
36:54 Speaker 00 I thought the Thierry Henry thing was very good.
36:56 Speaker 01 Yeah, but he does sometimes to get clicks. I think there's an element of what Stephen does, which he does very well, is to get people to view. There's a lot of this.
37:06 Speaker 00 No, you're right. Do you know what?
37:08 Speaker 01 So I was probably overegging that as I do. Um, yeah.
37:12 Speaker 00 Okay.
37:13 Speaker 01 So, oh, wow, this has been fun.
37:14 Speaker 00 Really good fun.
37:15 Speaker 01 Yeah, I mean, we've displayed none of what our podcast is.
37:17 Speaker 00 No.
37:18 Speaker 01 And what we have done.
37:18 Speaker 00 And why should we?
37:20 Speaker 01 Which is kind of what our podcast is.
37:22 Speaker 00 Yeah. What do you think about Stephen Bartlett? Because it sounds like you hate him.
37:26 Speaker 01 No, no, not at all. I don't really know too much about the guy. I see there's, there's a.
37:31 Speaker 00 If you were asked to do Diary of a CEO.
37:34 Speaker 01 I don't think I'd be asked.
37:35 Speaker 00 If you were asked, you would be asked. It's so legit that you'd be asked.
37:38 Speaker 01 I think if I was going to be asked, I'd probably have been asked by now. I don't know, I don't, I, I, I, do you know what I find is a little bit, there's a part of me that finds there's a lot of, there are a lot of these podcasts that you watch, there's a lot of sadness like in them.
37:52 Speaker 00 Hmm.
37:52 Speaker 01 So you sit and watch them, a lot of it is sort of, it feels that it's there to, to make people feel upset. And they're trying to get the sort of saddest moments out of people's lives. I'm not saying it's Diary of a CEO, I don't listen or watch enough of it, but when I have, like, I know you went on it and.
38:10 Speaker 00 Yes.
38:11 Speaker 01 Uh, and other friends I've had who've gone on it, and it always seems that it all roads lead to like them going, oh yeah, I ended up crying.
38:18 Speaker 00 Yeah, I mean, he does do his research, research.
38:20 Speaker 01 Very good, yeah.
38:21 Speaker 00 Whereas we don't, you know.
38:22 Speaker 01 We don't do any research.
38:23 Speaker 00 No.
38:24 Speaker 01 Um, I, I like the energy, the fresh energy.
38:26 Speaker 00 Oh, we did What Went Wrong, didn't we? We did a mock of that.
38:28 Speaker 01 Yeah.
38:28 Speaker 00 Not a mock, uh, an homage.
38:30 Speaker 01 Yeah. The amount of research they do is insane.
38:33 Speaker 00 I know.
38:34 Speaker 01 I think I'm addicted to What Went Wrong.
38:35 Speaker 00 Actually, do you know what? I think we should, we should research something and present it to each other in the next episode.
38:41 Speaker 01 Wow, that's, yeah.
38:43 Speaker 00 Is that too big?
38:44 Speaker 01 No, I think that's great.
38:45 Speaker 00 But it could be like a restaurant. It could be a film.
38:49 Speaker 01 Going to a restaurant and eating.
38:50 Speaker 00 It could be a TV show.
38:51 Speaker 01 No, no, no, we need to delve deeper. A book?
38:55 Speaker 00 Are you going to read a book between now and next time we do this podcast?
38:58 Speaker 01 Maybe, probably not. I thought we were.
39:00 Speaker 00 About a children's book?
39:01 Speaker 01 Not a children's book, I mean, fucking who's listening to two adults reviewing a children? Ah, come on. Maybe what we should do is ask for outside help.
39:10 Speaker 00 [email protected] . If you've got any suggestions for what Tom and I could present to each other on, it won't be the next episode now because we have to get the emails have to come in.
39:20 Speaker 01 Yeah.
39:20 Speaker 00 They were to read the emails and then we have to process them. We have to choose probably a discussion on the next episode. And then the episode after that.
39:26 Speaker 01 It will be what we're after.
39:27 Speaker 00 Be a presentation.
39:28 Speaker 01 Yeah.
39:29 Speaker 00 Or even if you've got a suggestion for like a, a, a podcast we could replicate. Doesn't have to be a specific one. It could be like, uh, it could be, for example, like we could do one off the top of our heads, right? Where you've got to talk about something you don't know anything about.
39:40 Speaker 01 Yeah.
39:40 Speaker 00 Uh, welcome to Cycling with Rajiv Patel. Uh, it's me Rajiv here with you, uh, once again this week as we talk about how cycling doesn't have to be for the elite. Can also just be for the recreational.
39:55 Speaker 01 Well, I've got to say, um, as an elite cyclist, um, and I'm sure you know as listeners to the podcast, my name is Colm Willstack. Um, I am, I am an elite cyclist and was for 22 years.
40:08 Speaker 00 Thank you so much, Colm, for coming to the podcast.
40:10 Speaker 01 Thank you for having me.
40:11 Speaker 00 Now, most of the people that listen to this are people who want to push on to the next level. But obviously they've got, you know, you devoted your life to it for 22 years.
40:21 Speaker 01 Yeah.
40:21 Speaker 00 We're talking about, you know, we are today talking to people who have got jobs, they've got families.
40:27 Speaker 01 Quit them if you wanna, if you wanna reach the next, if you wanna be an elite cyclist, that's all you can have. I'm talking elite. I, I rode with Lance Armstrong. I have secrets.
40:39 Speaker 00 Well, if probably the less said about that, the better. Am I right, Colm?
40:42 Speaker 01 What's that supposed to mean?
40:44 Speaker 00 I'm just saying because obviously with, uh, you know, I was just making a light joke about me.
40:48 Speaker 01 There's no joking about cycling. It's a serious sport made by serious human beings.
40:53 Speaker 00 But you can have fun with it, can't you?
40:55 Speaker 01 No. If I see somebody laughing and joking around on a bike, I'm, I will ride up to them and say, hey, you take it seriously, god damn it. And if you don't, you'll pay for something in a later life or this one.
41:09 Speaker 00 Yeah, I mean, obviously, you you followed it incredibly intensely, but I guess it's it's, you know, the question I want to get to the bottom of with you is if you are somebody who's just doing it to enjoy it rather than to, you know, to not to achieve at the top level.
41:26 Speaker 01 I got a question, friend, you want to paddle in the in the shallow end or do you want to swim?
41:30 Speaker 00 I think you can probably swim in the shallow end, can't you?
41:33 Speaker 01 No, your feet will hit the bottom of the pool and you'll.
41:36 Speaker 00 You can go across the top, can't you?
41:37 Speaker 01 No, but if you if you're giving.
41:40 Speaker 00 Because you're floating, aren't you?
41:41 Speaker 01 Gusto, you will hit the bottom. What I'm saying is go where it's deep, see what you've got in you and then make a decision. Life is full of curves, not every road is straight. Now, where are you going? Hey, that's a mountain. Can you climb it? You bet I can.
41:55 Speaker 00 So if you were to um give sort of three tips uh to to people listening that want to um just, you know, even improve against themselves.
42:05 Speaker 01 I would say earn the burn.
42:06 Speaker 00 Right.
42:08 Speaker 01 Ride on the fiber.
42:09 Speaker 00 Right.
42:10 Speaker 01 And never look back. They're the three things I say to everybody.
42:15 Speaker 00 Never look back? Yep, yep, yep. Earn the burn, a hundred percent. That's something I've said loads on the podcast is, you know, there is not nothing quite like the feeling of that lactic acid buildup.
42:24 Speaker 01 Yeah, you know it, friend.
42:26 Speaker 00 The one that I'm slightly less uh was it, what was it?
42:30 Speaker 01 Ride the fiber.
42:31 Speaker 00 Ride the fiber. What what does that mean?
42:33 Speaker 01 What's fiber to you?
42:34 Speaker 00 Like shredded wheat, stuff like that.
42:37 Speaker 01 Fiber to me is the muscles. Ride that and also the fiber in the bike.
42:42 Speaker 00 Ride your muscles?
42:43 Speaker 01 Yeah, and also the fiber that's in the bike. A lot of them may buy a fibrous foam.
42:48 Speaker 00 Like carbon fiber, fibrous foam? Have you got a foam bike?
42:51 Speaker 01 Carbon fiber is what I was meaning with. Yeah, ride that old carbon fiber until it don't ride no more.
42:59 Speaker 00 Great. Thank you so much, Carl.
43:03 Speaker 01 Thank you for having me. Ride safe, ride true, friends, and I should, yeah.
43:11 Speaker 00 It was good, I thought it was good. We just blagged a little thing. I thought it sounded fairly, you know.
43:15 Speaker 01 Again, it's more structure to the Mickey take ever. Arguably, you seem to have all the things that we've talked about in the last four years of this podcast. You seem to know more about cycling.
43:32 Speaker 00 Oh, God.
43:33 Speaker 01 What a joy.
43:36 Speaker 00 Right, okay, Tom.
43:37 Speaker 01 Yeah.
43:37 Speaker 00 It's about that time.
43:38 Speaker 01 Mickey, Mickey, there's a card for you. What? But it ain't Christmas. It ain't my birthday.
43:49 Speaker 01 Huh, that's nice. Mickey's just got a card saying, "Hope you're doing well, thinking of you."
43:58 Speaker 01 See, sometimes in life, we pick occasions over moments, occasions over just getting in touch. It's easy just to beat off a text, "What you up to, bro? Hope you're well." Sometimes it doesn't really mean much. Truth be, picking up a card from somewhere like a card shop, I can't think of any WH Smiths and such. And actually writing something that means something, putting it in an envelope and sending it to a friend can mean a lot. When we're getting it, all of a sudden, card sales peak and everybody's writing cards. The postman's locking down a big bag. "God, Davis, you bugger." What I mean by this is don't wait for Christmas or a birthday.
44:40 Speaker 01 If you get in touch with someone you miss, reach out one way or another now. Think about Mickey at the start of this talk, how much that meant to him. Be the person in a day who does something that means something to someone else, that puts a smile on their face. To make them think you're thinking about them. Why?
45:00 Speaker 01 That's a goddamn nice thing to do, and that's what makes the world go round. Keep believing.
45:06 Speaker 00 Cool. I mean, I had, I wasn't told that we had a Hallmark raid, but, um, thank you so much, Tom. Thank you so much. Any queries, questions, stories, the more detail, the better. Get them into [email protected] and we would love to hear from you.
45:26 Speaker 01 You know it, Hug, don't you?
45:27 Speaker 00 Peace out.
45:28 Speaker 01 Boom.
45:29 Speaker 00 One love. Bye.
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