Pet Problems, Bad Neighbours & Forest Etiquette

Should we do a mukbang? Tom and Romesh are back tackling your listener dilemmas, and this week things get surprisingly heated over a neighbour who took it upon themselves to give someone else's cat a haircut... with disastrous consequences. Expect a debate on dog poo etiquette, a tangent about squirrels and a discussion on unsolicited photos. Plus, after talking about it for years, could the Wolf & Owl mukbang finally be happening? A Ranga Bee Production in partnership with Platform. Chapters 00:00 Intro 02:25 A flashing question 04:50 A side note on squirrels 06:17 Pet advice 14:45 Pet poo etiquette 18:53 Outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

• 0:14Speaker 00

  Welcome to the Wolf for Now email correspondent special.

• 0:22Speaker 01

  It's a beautiful thing.

• 0:23Speaker 00

  Doing that thing. Um, our first email. Are you ready? Shall we get straight into it? Do you want to do some pleasantries?

• 0:29Speaker 01

  Uh, hey, I'm Tom Davis.

• 0:31Speaker 00

  Romesh Ranganathan?

• 0:32Speaker 01

  Welcome to the bonus.

• 0:33Speaker 00

  Romesh Ranganathan, actually. It's correct pronunciation.

• 0:36Speaker 01

  What?

• 0:37Speaker 00

  That's the correct pronunciation.

• 0:38Speaker 01

  Why do you all like, I'm so like, we get into these ones, right? And Ranganathan?

• 0:43Speaker 00

  Ranganathan.

• 0:44Speaker 01

  Ranganathan?

• 0:45Speaker 00

  Ranganathan.

• 0:46Speaker 01

  Ranganathan?

• 0:47Speaker 00

  Ranganathan.

• 0:47Speaker 01

  Ranganathan?

• 0:48Speaker 00

  Ranganathan.

• 0:49Speaker 01

  Ranganathan?

• 0:50Speaker 00

  There you go.

• 0:51Speaker 01

  Ranganathan?

• 0:52Speaker 00

  Yeah. What do you think? Do you think I'd have had a different career if I'd have called Romesh Ranganathan?

• 0:56Speaker 01

  I just think Romesh Ranganathan is just about the coolest name I've ever heard.

• 0:59Speaker 00

  Do you think so?

• 1:00Speaker 01

  Fuck yes.

• 1:00Speaker 00

  Great.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  It's definitely better than Jonathan Ranganathan.

• 1:03Speaker 00

  Hmm. Thank you. Okay. I'm more of a Jonathan person, though, don't I?

• 1:07Speaker 01

  You are the, yeah, yeah. And this is nothing because I've got Jonathan's in my family who I enjoy, but you've got real Jonathan tendencies.

• 1:13Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 1:14Speaker 01

  Romesh, by the way, you are, you're in elite fucking company because most people just call you Romesh, right?

• 1:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:20Speaker 01

  That's like Ronaldo or Pelé or fucking great Brazilian footballer.

• 1:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:25Speaker 01

  That you have one name that you're known by.

• 1:27Speaker 00

  Yeah. I mean, people do just call you Tom, though, don't they?

• 1:29Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:30Speaker 00

  Well, people don't call.

• 1:31Speaker 01

  Big Tom.

• 1:32Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 1:32Speaker 01

  I don't think many people would just call me, I can't remember how many.

• 1:35Speaker 00

  You can't remember the last, what does Kat call you?

• 1:37Speaker 01

  Uh, Dungus.

• 1:42Speaker 01

  I don't know. She calls me Tom. Babe or whatever. Yeah.

• 1:44Speaker 00

  Babe?

• 1:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:45Speaker 00

  Oh, what's your, what's, do you have nicknames for each other?

• 1:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:47Speaker 00

  What are your nicknames for each other?

• 1:49Speaker 01

  She calls me, she calls me Pooh Bear.

• 1:55Speaker 01

  That's very cute.

• 1:59Speaker 00

  And what do you call her?

• 2:00Speaker 01

  Uh, I call, I call, I used to call her Goober.

• 2:04Speaker 00

  Goober?

• 2:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, uh, and then I just call her, yeah, Bab, Bubby.

• 2:07Speaker 00

  I call Lisa Bubby?

• 2:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, Lisa, yeah, Bubby's nice. What's, what's Lisa call you?

• 2:12Speaker 00

  Um.

• 2:13Speaker 01

  Jonathan.

• 2:17Speaker 00

  No, she calls me.

• 2:17Speaker 01

  Jonathan, John, Johnny.

• 2:23Speaker 00

  Let's get to the first email, shall we? Uh, this is from the laid back dog.

• 2:28Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 2:28Speaker 00

  Afternoon, Wolfhouse Swan and Cat. Do, do, people don't need to address Swan and Cat any more, do they?

• 2:33Speaker 01

  I think it's quite nice to say that. I think, I mean, neither of them listens to it.

• 2:37Speaker 00

  They don't contribute or listen. Can you settle a dispute with my wife and I? Listening to your live show episode, my wife is convinced that you'd have multiple women flashing their boobs to you at the shows. I don't think this would be the case. Could you help us out and let us know? Do you ever get flashed or receive unsolicited tit pics?

• 2:54Speaker 01

  What?

• 2:54Speaker 00

  I, I don't know where this has come from. I mean, it's come from the laid back dog.

• 2:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, the laid back dog is, I don't know.

• 3:00Speaker 00

  Why would your wife think that?

• 3:02Speaker 01

  Also, like, it's, like, it's, like, it's two very niki men talking, talking about what losers they are.

• 3:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:10Speaker 01

  At what point do you think, well, I think it would be like really a strange thing for.

• 3:14Speaker 00

  Yeah. I mean, look, let's get it out there. We'd love it if it happened.

• 3:17Speaker 01

  I, I don't, I think I'd be.

• 3:19Speaker 00

  I'm joking, I'm joking.

• 3:23Speaker 00

  Um, no, it doesn't happen.

• 3:24Speaker 01

  No.

• 3:25Speaker 00

  No.

• 3:25Speaker 01

  No, no. It would've been insane thing.

• 3:28Speaker 00

  I, I, I can't think of the last pair of boobs I saw that weren't Lisa's.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  Mine, mine.

• 3:31Speaker 00

  I can't think of Lisa's. Yeah, yeah, I guess so.

• 3:34Speaker 01

  My boobs.

• 3:35Speaker 00

  Uh, do you ever get, um, propositioned?

• 3:37Speaker 01

  I did actually get like quite a lot of dick pics.

• 3:39Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 3:40Speaker 01

  I think it happens to, like, you know, grossly quite, you know, I think actually, I don't know, I've had, like, had more, like, I think men are more in, men, men seem more inclined to send that sort of.

• 3:49Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 3:50Speaker 01

  Grope.

• 3:50Speaker 00

  I mean, Catherine Ryan gets sent some pretty grim stuff.

• 3:53Speaker 01

  Really?

• 3:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:54Speaker 01

  Um.

• 3:54Speaker 00

  Have you ever sent a dick pic?

• 3:56Speaker 01

  Nah.

• 3:57Speaker 00

  If you were to.

• 3:57Speaker 01

  I haven't got that much confidence in them.

• 3:59Speaker 00

  No, I don't understand.

• 4:00Speaker 01

  I just don't understand it.

• 4:01Speaker 00

  I do not understand it.

• 4:03Speaker 01

  It's just the thought of sending it, like, like, I get anxiety sending you a text.

• 4:09Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 4:09Speaker 01

  It's a very like, you know.

• 4:10Speaker 00

  But you always sign off with a dick pic, don't you? That's why you probably get worried.

• 4:13Speaker 01

  If I sent you a text just going. Oh, you're okay, bro. Um, what are you up to today? Right? I then go, I was a bit thirsty. I worry about that text. The thought of sending someone a picture of your fucking phallus, of your dick, and then just going, and then sending it, and that must be agonising, right?

• 4:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, the weight. Three dots for ages.

• 4:36Speaker 01

  Read no reply.

• 4:37Speaker 00

  Too much to even think about.

• 4:38Speaker 01

  Have you sent one?

• 4:40Speaker 00

  Loads of times, yeah.

• 4:41Speaker 01

  Some of the teachers at the boys' school.

• 4:49Speaker 00

  Um, okay, thank you so much. Question two. Do you wanna read this one?

• 4:53Speaker 01

  Greetings, you sweet, sweet souls from the red squirrel. I'm after your advice.

• 4:59Speaker 00

  They're the ones that we need to protect.

• 5:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 5:01Speaker 00

  Because of the immigrant grey squirrels.

• 5:05Speaker 00

  I just, that's a fact, by the way.

• 5:06Speaker 01

  Is it, really?

• 5:07Speaker 00

  Well, you know, grey squirrels have taken over.

• 5:10Speaker 01

  Have they?

• 5:10Speaker 00

  Yeah. I mean, London's not London anymore, is it? You look around. What's happened to our culture? What's happened to our red squirrel culture?

• 5:17Speaker 01

  I just think squirrels are such little nobeds.

• 5:20Speaker 00

  Why?

• 5:20Speaker 01

  They've just got so much, like, what are they? What, you know, they're just.

• 5:23Speaker 00

  What are they?

• 5:24Speaker 01

  No, they're just like, what's the point?

• 5:27Speaker 00

  What's the point of anything? For things that don't have to have a point.

• 5:30Speaker 01

  Foxes are assholes, but they've got an edge to them. Screw, like, have you ever seen squirrels running around trees? Do you know what I think this is, by the way? Um, I used to get so annoyed by the chipmunks.

• 5:41Speaker 00

  Well, they're not squirrels either.

• 5:42Speaker 01

  No, but they're like cousins, right? Squirrels and chipmunks.

• 5:46Speaker 00

  I mean, I imagine they're the same.

• 5:48Speaker 01

  Yeah. And those little chipmunks.

• 5:56Speaker 01

  I used to, as soon as that came on, even as a kid, I was like, I can't have this.

• 6:00Speaker 00

  I thought the film was quite good.

• 6:01Speaker 01

  No. Oh, but do you know what I watched? It was incredible. SpongeBob SquarePants, the movie.

• 6:05Speaker 00

  The new one?

• 6:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:06Speaker 00

  Was it good?

• 6:07Speaker 01

  Oh my gosh. Shout out SpongeBob.

• 6:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, big shout out, yeah.

• 6:10Speaker 01

  Amazing film.

• 6:11Speaker 00

  And definitely has a point as well. Do you want to carry me to the scene now?

• 6:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, so beautiful. Uh, I'm after your advice on a genuinely bizarre incident involving our cat and her neighbour. A few nights ago, we got a call from a local vet saying our 11-year-old cat had been brought in. I mean, he needs, needed to come down urgently. When my wife arrived, she found one of our neighbours in reception, clearly distressed, waiting for news about our injured cat.

• 6:34Speaker 00

  This is weird.

• 6:36Speaker 01

  Some context, our cat is extremely friendly and has a habit, much my annoyance, of wandering into other people's houses. As he's got older, he's also become less diligent with his grooming, leading to some cosmetic lumps of fur. We've discussed this with the vet who advises us not to cut them ourselves. Despite this, our neighbour decided, without asking us, to take clippers to his fur. In the process, she caused a three inch gash in his side that needed stapling. He's now stuck in a cone for ten days. She's offered to cover the vet bills and feels awful. What? While I know this came from a place of good intentions, I'm struggling to understand how anyone thought this was a sensible idea. She's repeatedly said how much she loves having the cat in her house.

• 7:19Speaker 01

  But now we're considering getting him a proper collar that stops him from entering her property. On one hand, this feels harsh, almost punitive, when she was trying to help. On the other hand, it feels more like a preventative, a boundary to protect the cat and avoid any future helpful interventions. I'm also unsure how we're meant to handle things going forward. Do we explicitly ask her never to do anything grooming or health related again? Or quietly put measures in place and avoid an awkward conversation altogether? I don't want to make her feel guilty, but I also can't deal with any more completely avoidable drama. All the best, the red squirrel. Wow.

• 8:00Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 8:02Speaker 01

  That is genuinely insane. What are you thinking to start shaving someone else's cat?

• 8:06Speaker 00

  Well, you know, I'm sort of inclined to play devil's advocate on this.

• 8:10Speaker 01

  Okay, I'd love to see where you, where you.

• 8:12Speaker 00

  Well.

• 8:13Speaker 01

  It's not your cat.

• 8:14Speaker 00

  No. Look, I'm not saying it's right, she shouldn't have done that. I mean, that that much is clear, but, you know.

• 8:19Speaker 01

  Also, like, if you've got no idea what you're doing with a pair of clippers, stand away. Like, they can be brutal clippers, you get them wrong. I've had loads of nicks and bumps and grazes.

• 8:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, no, I mean, they're dangerous, you know, you can tell the cat got a three inch gash in the side.

• 8:33Speaker 01

  What's that, that? That's three inches.

• 8:34Speaker 00

  You think that's three inches?

• 8:36Speaker 01

  What's three inches, that?

• 8:37Speaker 00

  That's like, that's like an inch there, that's two inches, that's three inches there.

• 8:40Speaker 01

  What, there, yeah?

• 8:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:43Speaker 00

  Yeah. So what are you? Double that.

• 8:47Speaker 01

  Well, I'll say you're a big.

• 8:50Speaker 00

  Um, but, so she shouldn't have done it.

• 8:53Speaker 01

  No.

• 8:53Speaker 00

  It's a big mistake.

• 8:54Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 8:54Speaker 00

  But she thought she was doing the right thing. I mean, that's, she's not done it in a horrible way.

• 8:58Speaker 01

  The only thing I'd say in this, right?

• 9:00Speaker 00

  The cats going round to her house, she, she would have thought, I imagine, what a nice surprise it would be for them. That I managed to sort their cat out.

• 9:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, but also, I, I, there's a part of me, we don't have much context on the age and stuff of the neighbour.

• 9:14Speaker 00

  No.

• 9:15Speaker 01

  So if it's someone who thinks they're doing a good deed and they're a little bit older, but I do think, I think number one, it's like, the red squirrel was con-. Like, obviously been quite concerned about the fact that the cat's off.

• 9:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:26Speaker 01

  Gallivanting.

• 9:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:28Speaker 01

  And realises that that's not cool. But now it's taken something like this for him to put preventative measures in place. So now you're in a situation that, it, for anyone, this is a sign to go, look, go with your gut. Don't wait for your cat to get shaved before you put those.

• 9:42Speaker 00

  Right, right, right.

• 9:42Speaker 01

  He wasn't happy about it going from door to door.

• 9:44Speaker 00

  But then he can't do it now, can he?

• 9:46Speaker 01

  Well, by the, by the same thing, by the way, this neighbour has got very attached to his cat, so much so that.

• 9:52Speaker 00

  Like, there's an argument that.

• 9:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:54Speaker 00

  She's become dependent.

• 9:55Speaker 01

  Did I tell you about my friend Wayne and the staff?

• 9:57Speaker 00

  No.

• 9:58Speaker 01

  So my friend Wayne Jones, he had, um, he looks after a friend's staff.

• 10:01Speaker 00

  Full name.

• 10:04Speaker 01

  And, um, he basically, like, when these people went on holiday for two weeks, I think it went Cyprus, but it's not important to the story. They, when they got back, the staff was all like a bit strange and a sort of a bit like, it wasn't quite as himself. And Wayne was like, oh, you know, we've been, I've loved it. It's been sleeping in my bed. Um, like coming into the shower with me. I've been making sure, like. So the staff had sort of like, he, they've become very attached in two weeks, like really attached. And then my friend was like, and Wayne was saying, I really miss that the staff, I can't remember the staff's name. And then.

• 10:36Speaker 00

  Well, as long as you've got Wayne Jones's full name.

• 10:38Speaker 01

  No, and the staff was constant, like Wayne would be like, is you all right if I pop round and, and see the staff and, and. Whenever they'd come around, the staff was so obsessed with Wayne that they sort of had to say, look, you know, it's our dog, like it's, he's pining for Wayne. So it's like very, once you've got a pet, you've got to be very careful that other people, you know, with that kind of vibe.

• 10:58Speaker 00

  I don't, I mean, it, you, everything about this story is just sort of you dancing around the fact that you think Wayne fucked the staff.

• 11:05Speaker 01

  I think you fucked the staff, I'm just, I don't know.

• 11:08Speaker 00

  No, but you were sort of doing things with your eyebrows and going, oh, you know, it's like. It's the way you're telling it, it's like, you're making it like it's a sexual thing.

• 11:15Speaker 01

  No, no, it's not a sexual thing. Wayne was really, really obsessed with his staff.

• 11:18Speaker 00

  Right, okay.

• 11:18Speaker 01

  He was like his best little friend.

• 11:19Speaker 00

  But don't tell the story like that then.

• 11:21Speaker 01

  I wasn't trying to tell that. My point was Wayne and the staff got on really well. They'd eat dinner together, they'd get in the shower together, they'd get laid in bed together, right?

• 11:27Speaker 00

  Right.

• 11:28Speaker 01

  Like, and sleep and whatever, and go out for long walks, and they do nice things together, right? Is that the staff loved that life because Wayne was on his own at the time.

• 11:35Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 11:36Speaker 01

  That they got so accustomed to him, to each other, that Wayne fell in love with the staff and the staff fell in love with Wayne. So when, like, when the staff had all of Wayne's attention, he got back and it was the family were there. That they didn't give the staff, the staff wasn't getting that love and commitment, but also Wayne missed the staff. And that's what I'm saying about the elderly neighbour.

• 11:53Speaker 00

  Because they've been fucking.

• 11:54Speaker 01

  Because they've been fucking. I don't know, you know, who knows? Look, my point is this, right? Is that the neighbour has clearly built up enough affection to this cat that there was a time that they felt they could shave it for them because they felt that that was the right thing.

• 12:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:10Speaker 01

  So what I'm saying is you, you, you can't just sever a bond like that. Like, you know, or maybe you should, I don't know, but I'm just saying that you've got to really go to, I think going to the neighbour and having a conversation and going, look, this is our cat, we feel a little bit thrown by the fact you decided to shave it. It's slightly, you know, um, maybe like you should have a break from each other for a while, see how you both get on. And then like, after a while, it's just like once, you know, the cat's fully healed, maybe start like, you know, little integrating you back into each other's lives slowly, but with boundaries.

• 12:39Speaker 00

  This sounds insane. It's like the most high maintenance, the most convoluted, difficult way of doing this.

• 12:45Speaker 01

  What would you do?

• 12:46Speaker 00

  I think they should have a chat, but they just go, look, don't, you know, the, the problem isn't going to shave the cat, what else is she going to do to the cat?

• 12:52Speaker 01

  Well, you don't, but also, by the way, by the way, that's the shape, that's the stuff you can see. Like Wayne was giving him McDonald's.

• 12:58Speaker 00

  So now she's fucking the cat.

• 12:59Speaker 01

  No, I'm saying Wayne was giving this staff McDonald's. He was having like, like lovely food and whatever. His diet's changed, so then he's getting the two by bits. What I'm saying is, right, you've got to be careful because you don't know, she's, it's, the cat's going around there, he's having like a big old gut full of sardines. You don't know.

• 13:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, sure. Look, the truth is, it's your cat. So if you want to put a collar on it and stop it going around there, that's well within your rights.

• 13:22Speaker 01

  By the way, that, that means you've had to go put a thing on the door that they, the cat, that so that you'd have to go to the neighbour and go, we'll put this thing, so it's an electric bolt that hits the cat as it comes through your door. That's how those work.

• 13:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, I don't know. I mean, they might have, the bread squirrel might have some other version of this.

• 13:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, okay, I'm just saying.

• 13:39Speaker 00

  But, um, but the compromise position is to sort of agree a set of rules, really. I mean, it sounds like the woman really likes the cat. She made a mistake. Do you know what I mean? I feel a bit sorry for her in a way. She's not done it to be vindictive.

• 13:50Speaker 01

  No, but I'm saying that she thinks.

• 13:51Speaker 00

  It's, don't get me wrong.

• 13:52Speaker 01

  By the way, we're saying it's a shit, could have been a girl, we don't know.

• 13:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's a mad fucking thing to do.

• 13:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I'm just saying that if, but if there, there's a world where that the bond between this woman and the cat is so enriched now, that it's like, they won't calm down.

• 14:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:08Speaker 01

  But then you don't want like, some sort of like, you know, you're going to have a stalker thing, like they start meeting up and like, the, yeah, down the back of the, like, alley.

• 14:17Speaker 00

  Okay, we're actually trying to give real advice.

• 14:18Speaker 01

  I'm just saying.

• 14:19Speaker 00

  Like, what are you talking about? They're gonna have an affair?

• 14:22Speaker 01

  I'm just saying, if she's so, this person, I keep saying this, if this person is so obsessed with the cat, we have to be careful that, you know, that everyone knows what they're, let's all lay our cards.

• 14:34Speaker 00

  Or she kidnaps her.

• 14:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, that's the thing I was gonna get at, but I didn't wanna.

• 14:37Speaker 00

  Oh, okay. Anyway, good luck. I hope that helps.

• 14:42Speaker 02

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• 15:59Speaker 00

  Shall we do one more?

• 16:00Speaker 01

  Let's do one more.

• 16:01Speaker 00

  One more. Shall we give them one more?

• 16:04Speaker 01

  Oh my god, look, look at this.

• 16:05Speaker 00

  Opinion, do you wanna read it or shall we?

• 16:07Speaker 01

  No, you read it.

• 16:08Speaker 00

  Opinion please. Was walking with family, we had seven dogs between us, as I'm also helping out a lady who's not coping with her puppy. We were ambling along and chatting in the middle of Epping Forest while the dogs sniffed and played, so far so normal. Suddenly I became aware of a screaming posh voice from very far away. I asked the couple to repeat themselves and they shouted, "Your dog has done a poo!" in a disgusted tone. A bit confused, I said, "Thanks" and we walked out on, only to hear shouts of, "Pick it up now!" I politely replied that the forest is full of feces, including cowpats, horse manure, deer poo, rabbit poo and many more. And we're off path and the poo eventually dissolves into the ecosystem. But they were so angry and demanding, I asked them to report it and see how they got on. I'm sure it's not an offence mid-forest, please discuss. Well, I don't know about this, mate.

• 16:50Speaker 01

  I've got to say, if a dog poos, what I can't work out is it's definitely their dog's poo. Because I think if your dog poos-

• 16:57Speaker 00

  Well, it would be one of the, there were seven dogs.

• 16:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, so, I mean, I'm like, I'm of the opinion if your dog poos, you pick it up, it doesn't matter.

• 17:06Speaker 00

  Listen, I think it's fair to say that cow shit, horse shit-

• 17:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:11Speaker 00

  -seems to be given a different ranking to dog shit.

• 17:15Speaker 01

  Well, you know why, right?

• 17:16Speaker 00

  We've talked about, I'm sure we've talked about this before.

• 17:17Speaker 01

  But you know-

• 17:18Speaker 00

  Why?

• 17:19Speaker 01

  But you know why?

• 17:20Speaker 00

  Why?

• 17:21Speaker 01

  Well, because it's what the cows and horses eat.

• 17:22Speaker 00

  Oh, they eat grass?

• 17:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:24Speaker 00

  Whereas dogs eat meat.

• 17:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, they eat meat and processed food. So their shits are more-

• 17:29Speaker 00

  Disgusting.

• 17:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, toxic.

• 17:31Speaker 00

  So does that mean I could shit in the-

• 17:32Speaker 01

  No, because you eat, you probably eat more processed food than me, well I know.

• 17:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's true actually.

• 17:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:37Speaker 00

  Than anyone you know?

• 17:38Speaker 01

  No, because you're a vegan, so loads of vegan stuff's ultra-processed.

• 17:42Speaker 00

  Well, you don't know my diet.

• 17:44Speaker 01

  Well, no, actually, to be fair, I'm being a bit presumptuous there. I do apologise. But I do know, you like, you like your faken and stuff like that.

• 17:50Speaker 00

  I have it occasionally, it's not my staple diet.

• 17:53Speaker 01

  Love it when you get annoyed about the smallest things. The last episode, I questioned you as a farmer so vigorously. And you just went, oh, of course, I can take this. This is literally the hill you're gonna die on. You don't know my diet! You don't know my fucking diet, mate!

• 18:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, sorry.

• 18:14Speaker 01

  Literally, flushed cheeks. Fucking hell, mate.

• 18:18Speaker 00

  Anyway, I'm gonna be, uh, uh, look, I, I, thank you for listening to the podcast. I'm saying this as a preempt, you gotta pick up dog shit, mate.

• 18:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, I do.

• 18:27Speaker 00

  It has to be.

• 18:27Speaker 01

  And I will say this as well, just on the base, and it is like,

• 18:32Speaker 01

  the kids playing in the forest.

• 18:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, my kids are always playing in the forest.

• 18:36Speaker 01

  Do your kids run through the woods?

• 18:37Speaker 00

  Always.

• 18:38Speaker 01

  Really?

• 18:39Speaker 00

  Yeah. Nine times out of ten, if they're not in the house, they're in the forest. Anyway, go on.

• 18:45Speaker 01

  So, no, do you go for a family walk on it?

• 18:46Speaker 00

  Mate, they're like little fucking fairies. Constantly in the forest.

• 18:49Speaker 01

  But you go for a nice walk in it on a Sunday with the family, you go through some woods.

• 18:52Speaker 00

  That's what I'm saying to you, that's why you keep asking me to. They're always in the woods, go on.

• 18:57Speaker 01

  And if there's poo out there, you gotta be careful.

• 18:59Speaker 00

  You've got really careful.

• 19:00Speaker 01

  Because that can blind a kid.

• 19:01Speaker 00

  Yeah, it can do.

• 19:01Speaker 01

  Blind an adult, maybe.

• 19:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, one episode of That's Life.

• 19:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, is that what it is?

• 19:07Speaker 00

  Is that what it's called? That's Life with Esther Ranson?

• 19:10Speaker 01

  What, is that what she talks about?

• 19:11Speaker 00

  I'm sure she talks about dog poo.

• 19:12Speaker 01

  Shout out Esther Ranson, we should do a special on her, by the way. Incredible human being.

• 19:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, I mean, we, we couldn't remember what the programme was or what she said.

• 19:22Speaker 00

  But we, we wanted to do an entire episode.

• 19:24Speaker 01

  Shout out Esther Ranson and all the crew.

• 19:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, big love to Esther Ranson. Anyway, the point is, uh, you should pick up your dog shit.

• 19:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, you should. And your cat poo.

• 19:33Speaker 00

  And also, sometimes, it, it doesn't matter if something's in a fence or not mid-forest.

• 19:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:39Speaker 00

  It's, don't, don't do it.

• 19:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:41Speaker 00

  You, I think you should pick up, mate, dog shit.

• 19:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think you have to pick up dog shit.

• 19:44Speaker 00

  Similarly, I think if people's horses shit, they should pick it up.

• 19:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, but.

• 19:47Speaker 00

  And cows.

• 19:48Speaker 01

  You can't be chasing cows around.

• 19:49Speaker 00

  And rabbits. I'm joking, I'm joking.

• 19:51Speaker 01

  By the way, rabbit poo is disgusting, you get that under your nails.

• 19:54Speaker 00

  It's only the little pellet, under your nails?

• 19:55Speaker 01

  Yeah. Like if you've got it in your shoe and you scratch your shoe.

• 19:59Speaker 00

  Oh, okay, Jesus Christ, I think you're smearing it on someone's back.

• 20:04Speaker 00

  Uh, okay, there you go, thanks so much.

• 20:08Speaker 00

  Thank you so much for listening and watching to another email episode of The Wolf For Now. The Wolf For Now. We are The Wolf For Now. Enjoy the boners! Wolf. It sounded like you said, enjoy the boners. Did it itself?

• 20:21Speaker 01

  Folks.

• 20:23Speaker 00

  Wolfalpod at gmail dot com.

• 20:25Speaker 01

  For all of your inquiries.

• 20:27Speaker 00

  Not inquiries, yeah, inquiries.

• 20:28Speaker 01

  Inquiries, questions. Anything you want us to do, like silly tasks or forfeits, let us know.

• 20:34Speaker 00

  Oh my god, do you know what, it's just occurred to me.

• 20:37Speaker 01

  What?

• 20:37Speaker 00

  We can do the mukbang.

• 20:38Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 20:39Speaker 00

  We have been talking about mukbang.

• 20:41Speaker 01

  For three years.

• 20:42Speaker 00

  For three years. It's back in fashion, baby.

• 20:45Speaker 01

  Hit us with mukbangs.

• 20:46Speaker 00

  Mukbang suggestions, bearing in mind one of us is plant based.

• 20:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I'm not going to allow that process stuff, but anyway.

• 20:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. So just, I guess, I'll be, I'll be eating some tofu and he'll eat an elk.

• 20:58Speaker 00

  Mukbang, baby.

• 20:59Speaker 01

  Mukbang.