Pod Insights Wolf & Owl with Romesh Ranganathan and Tom Davis Toy Story 5, Celebrity Gladiators & Brain Training About this episode Is it okay to check someone else's underwear?
This week, Tom and Rom debate whether Toy Story should have stopped at three films, reveal their cinema snack choices and debate Master Of The Universe and Celebrity Gladiators.
There's also a conversation about brain training, Tom's memory, the impact of pornography, and dating an Only Fans creator.
Plus, some unfortunate stories about suspicious underwear... Maybe we need a part two.
A Ranga Bee Production in partnership with Platform.
Chapters
00:00 Intro
04:04 On Toy Story
08:51 Ciinema food discussion
11:20 Character ranking
12:35 Is Tom pranking Rom?
15:13 Rom’s Master Of The Universe review
20:05 Tom’s memory and Sudoku
22:26 The p*rn effect
31:50 OF and relationships
35:09 Celebrity Gladiators
37:18 Underwear and fart tech
40:26 Tom’s outro
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Transcript 0:00 Speaker 00 Hello everybody.
0:01 Speaker 01 Welcome.
0:02 Speaker 00 To.
0:02 Speaker 01 A.
0:03 Speaker 00 Podcast.
0:04 Speaker 01 With.
0:05 Speaker 00 Ramesh.
0:05 Speaker 01 And.
0:06 Speaker 00 Tom.
0:07 Speaker 01 Who are also known as.
0:09 Speaker 00 The Wolf.
0:09 Speaker 01 And.
0:10 Speaker 00 The.
0:10 Speaker 01 Owl. Hi guys.
0:12 Speaker 00 Hi guys.
0:28 Speaker 00 How are you Tom?
0:29 Speaker 01 I'm alright mate, yourself?
0:30 Speaker 00 Very good, thank you.
0:31 Speaker 01 Yeah.
0:32 Speaker 00 I'm just gonna ask some questions based on how you look. How is, how is life in the woods?
0:40 Speaker 01 This beard man. Well like, yeah.
0:43 Speaker 00 It makes you look.
0:44 Speaker 01 Disgusting.
0:45 Speaker 00 No, it doesn't make you look disgusting.
0:47 Speaker 01 A vagrant. I look like I'm the before moment of any Jason Statham film, just before he's about to get stuck into what the actual movie's about.
0:54 Speaker 00 You look like an anonymous henchman in one of those films.
0:57 Speaker 01 Collateral damage.
0:58 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah, something like that. But actually it makes you, it takes the edges off you a little bit.
1:02 Speaker 01 What do you, in what sense?
1:04 Speaker 00 I thi- I consider you quite a cuddly man, full stop. I think this sort of fuller beard makes you cuddlier.
1:09 Speaker 01 Yeah, I think that's, I think that's true.
1:11 Speaker 00 What's Little G saying about it?
1:12 Speaker 01 She do, well.
1:13 Speaker 00 Has she noticed the difference? Because kids, it takes a while, doesn't it?
1:15 Speaker 01 Yeah, she's undecided, she doesn't, yeah.
1:19 Speaker 01 She made a joke the other day, because obviously it's getting.
1:22 Speaker 00 Oat in the lap.
1:23 Speaker 01 It's got a little bit of salt and peppering now.
1:25 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:26 Speaker 01 She made a joke that daddy's beard was a bit, coming like Santa Claus is. Which is a, yeah.
1:32 Speaker 00 I'm almost, I'm almost all peppered out now, man.
1:34 Speaker 01 Yeah, no, you've got some peppering, you can sprinkle, yeah, yeah.
1:37 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:38 Speaker 01 Would you go with a beard again?
1:39 Speaker 00 I would do, but it'd be very grey now.
1:41 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:42 Speaker 00 It's gone grey quick.
1:44 Speaker 01 Yeah, your hair is so.
1:45 Speaker 00 No, I don't dye my hair. Look, can you, like, there is grey in it, can you see?
1:50 Speaker 01 There's a little bit of grey.
1:51 Speaker 00 But my beard's gone grey quicker than my hair. I'm thinking about going, I actually dabbled with the idea of going completely clean. If I went clean shaven.
1:59 Speaker 01 Oh man, I don't know, I've seen you clean shaven.
2:01 Speaker 00 We talked about this on the podcast before, but just hear me out.
2:03 Speaker 01 Well you did it to stop being noticed on holiday that year.
2:06 Speaker 00 Yeah, but what I'm saying to you is, it will take 15 years off me.
2:10 Speaker 01 But you have a 15 years you want back?
2:16 Speaker 00 Well, I look so much younger if I shave it off.
2:18 Speaker 01 I think you look good now. I think the moustache has been one of the best things you've done in your life.
2:21 Speaker 00 Thanks very much.
2:22 Speaker 01 I think you've really, I think you've levelled up. Uh, I saw some old footage of you the other, actually, I put it out, the King Gary scene where you've got your before beard.
2:30 Speaker 00 Yeah.
2:30 Speaker 01 Yeah.
2:31 Speaker 00 They like it.
2:32 Speaker 01 I think you look better now. I, I wouldn't have this. This isn't my choice. This is just my work.
2:36 Speaker 00 I think you look great.
2:37 Speaker 01 I don't like it. I've got, I got away from the beard. The beard had become like a crutch for me for a long time. And now I'm back in Beardsville.
2:44 Speaker 00 Yeah.
2:45 Speaker 01 I'm not sure if I like.
2:45 Speaker 00 What do they call it? The wonder bra of the men?
2:48 Speaker 01 Yeah. Yeah. I worry as well, don't you? Once you take it off.
2:51 Speaker 00 The wonder bra of the men, anyway, so.
2:53 Speaker 01 Yeah. That would surely be like, oh man, yeah, that was in Ladies First, like a cock sort of.
2:57 Speaker 00 Oh, ladies first. God, I didn't know they were doing plugs.
3:00 Speaker 01 No, I mean, yeah, yeah, I think that, I think that horse is, the stable is.
3:04 Speaker 00 It's still up, isn't it?
3:04 Speaker 01 Yeah, and I think it's, it's a bit tragic if you, I mean, to be fair, that and Wonka are both on Netflix now. If I'm shouting out two films.
3:11 Speaker 00 Actually, I got very, sorry, let me say that. I got very excited when I saw Wonka's on Netflix.
3:14 Speaker 01 Thank you. I mean, yeah, it's still something I'm living off the back of.
3:18 Speaker 00 Yeah, as you should.
3:20 Speaker 01 The work's been quiet since.
3:21 Speaker 00 As you should. Has it?
3:23 Speaker 01 No, no, it's not. No, I'm, I.
3:25 Speaker 00 You've had the busiest year of your life.
3:26 Speaker 01 Talking about films.
3:27 Speaker 00 According to reports.
3:28 Speaker 01 I, according to reports. Flo?
3:31 Speaker 00 Not Flo. I don't ask Flo about you. Are you joking?
3:34 Speaker 01 I ask her about you all the time.
3:35 Speaker 00 Yeah, but we've got so much stuff to talk about with my career.
3:37 Speaker 01 Yeah, I suppose, yeah, yeah.
3:38 Speaker 00 Uh, no, I do ask her about it. I, I, I actually, I don't ask her about if you're busy. I just go, how's Tom?
3:43 Speaker 01 Yeah.
3:43 Speaker 00 Even though I've spoken to you, I might have spoken to you five minutes before.
3:46 Speaker 01 Yeah.
3:47 Speaker 00 But I wanna know how professional, how professional Tom is, do you know what I mean?
3:51 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
3:52 Speaker 00 Not how professional Tom is, I know that.
3:54 Speaker 01 Yeah.
3:54 Speaker 00 I know how professional you are. But how the professional Tom is. Does that make sense?
3:59 Speaker 01 Yeah.
3:59 Speaker 00 Yeah.
3:59 Speaker 01 How close am I to a breakdown?
4:01 Speaker 00 Yeah, cause I care about you.
4:02 Speaker 01 I know you do. You're a lovely boy.
4:03 Speaker 00 Hmm.
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5:33 Speaker 01 Talking about best friends and films, I went to see the new Toy Story, Toy Story 5.
5:38 Speaker 00 Okay, before you get into this review, sorry to interrupt. I'm very concerned about Toy Story 5.
5:44 Speaker 01 Why?
5:45 Speaker 00 I'll tell you why. I think Toy Story 1, 2, and 3, one of the greatest ever movie trilogies, ever, in the history of cinema, all right?
5:53 Speaker 01 Yeah.
5:53 Speaker 00 The perfect story.
5:54 Speaker 01 Yeah.
5:55 Speaker 00 Okay?
5:55 Speaker 01 I'd agree.
5:56 Speaker 00 Perfect ending. When they announced Toy Story 4, I was concerned, nay worried.
6:02 Speaker 01 Yeah.
6:03 Speaker 00 Did you like that?
6:03 Speaker 01 No, I thought you were going to come out with more articulate, more sort of like in-depth words and worried.
6:08 Speaker 00 I was concerned, nay befuddled.
6:10 Speaker 01 Pensive?
6:12 Speaker 00 Yeah.
6:12 Speaker 01 I think you were probably pensive.
6:13 Speaker 00 Yeah, I was pensive, yeah. Okay, so, okay, let me try again. I was worried, nay pensive.
6:20 Speaker 01 If we could do you an Arsenal shirt this year.
6:21 Speaker 00 I was worried.
6:22 Speaker 01 You've, you're not worn the banner cannon one. If we do you another Arsenal shirt, or an England shirt, we should have Pensive Pete on the back.
6:29 Speaker 00 No, let's not try and make that a thing. Anyway, because I was worried about four and four was.
6:35 Speaker 01 Oh, God.
6:36 Speaker 00 It was fine.
6:37 Speaker 01 I enjoyed four.
6:38 Speaker 00 Yeah, but it did, did it, did it, was it necessary?
6:42 Speaker 01 Uh.
6:42 Speaker 00 I mean, what film, were, were any of them necessary, I suppose. But what I mean is, the story was done. And then they have like, what's his name, Sporky. Was that his name?
6:52 Speaker 01 I think it was, yeah, yeah.
6:53 Speaker 00 Or Forky, Forky, Forky, that little prick.
6:56 Speaker 01 I thought, look, let me, Forky took up a lot of screen time and he did. He actually's got two of the funniest moments in that film.
7:01 Speaker 00 Yeah.
7:02 Speaker 01 He's very funny. Yeah, but he's, yeah.
7:04 Speaker 00 I liked, I liked, I liked the sinister doll.
7:07 Speaker 01 Yeah, that was great. And I liked the two here, I, um, the, the cuddly toys from the fair.
7:12 Speaker 00 Yeah, and I liked Woody and Bonnie, is it Bonnie, Little Bo Peep, whatever.
7:16 Speaker 01 Yeah, the love, yeah.
7:17 Speaker 00 Yeah, I liked, I did like that. Actually, do you know what? Toy Story four was great.
7:20 Speaker 01 And can I just say it's got the best ending. When they're driving away, spoiler here, but I hope you've seen it, spoiler.
7:25 Speaker 00 You can't, you shouldn't have to give spoiler warnings now.
7:27 Speaker 01 And, and when she goes, is he joy, is he, is Woody lost now?
7:31 Speaker 00 Yeah.
7:31 Speaker 01 And Buzz goes.
7:32 Speaker 00 By the way, it's all in the delivery, isn't it?
7:33 Speaker 01 Yeah. I can't do Jesse. I can do Buzz.
7:36 Speaker 00 No, but you went, is he, but, is it?
7:38 Speaker 01 She goes, um, is he last now? And Buzz goes, no, he's found to affinity. And then the camera goes to Woody and goes, and beyond. That is, even though I get goosebumps.
7:51 Speaker 00 Yeah, really nice.
7:52 Speaker 01 That's a beauty. And five, I enjoyed five. Look, I'm gonna say, by the way, for some of the voice actors, it must have been a kick in the teeth. There's a few people have been kicked to the curb a little bit on that, who had big parts in the originals, who are now essentially SAs. Yeah.
8:06 Speaker 00 Okay.
8:06 Speaker 01 That's who you feel for.
8:07 Speaker 00 Can you rank them for me?
8:09 Speaker 01 What, who, who?
8:10 Speaker 00 Not, not, not the actors. No, no, fucking hell, don't do that. I'm asking you to write, I'm asking.
8:15 Speaker 01 What's his name, that fucking helmet who works for Talksport?
8:18 Speaker 00 Adrian Durham.
8:19 Speaker 01 Yeah, I'm not gonna become the Adrian Durham of fucking Toy Story.
8:22 Speaker 00 Let's not start again. I, I don't wanna start a war with Talksport now.
8:25 Speaker 01 I'm not starting a war with Talksport, I'm just gonna start a war with.
8:27 Speaker 00 They're much bigger than us for a start.
8:28 Speaker 01 They're a lot bigger than us. But I'm gonna, I'm gonna say now, uh, it's akin to like some sort of weird bullying. Like his reviews of the, his critical analysis of football. I, I don't get it. I'm gonna tell you now. It's the, it's the thing that I'd just constantly, I mean, I suppose you've been a bit like it with Toy Story five and then the end four and then going, oh, actually it was an all right film. You, you've, you've looked for the easy way out.
8:50 Speaker 00 How have I looked for the easy way out?
8:52 Speaker 01 You've gone, you've gone to give Woody an absolute shoo-in and realised that it's a very poignant, beautiful bit of storytelling.
8:57 Speaker 00 Woody is shooing. Right, I I thought I eventually said, I think four.
9:02 Speaker 01 No, you were like, you had the first three and my favourites ever, they had the perfect film.
9:08 Speaker 00 They're great, they are great.
9:09 Speaker 01 Four, and then actually by the end of it, you talk yourself into it, realise that actually they've made a great movie again.
9:15 Speaker 00 Four has got some redeeming features, it's not as good as any of the first three.
9:19 Speaker 01 Everything's slightly on a scale, I mean, let's not get into Shrek then, Christ.
9:23 Speaker 00 First of all, mate, Toy Story three, better than two and one.
9:27 Speaker 01 Yeah, exactly.
9:27 Speaker 00 Yeah, but so it's going up and then four's not as good as any of the three, see, your trend thing doesn't work.
9:32 Speaker 01 By the time they get back to six, boom.
9:34 Speaker 00 A date better not do a six.
9:35 Speaker 01 I wouldn't be surprised.
9:36 Speaker 00 They will fucking rue the date they do a six.
9:38 Speaker 01 Five, I nearly cried twice during, in five, I was sitting there with Grace, little G.
9:43 Speaker 00 Yeah.
9:44 Speaker 01 Every man sitting in cinema, I have my burger.
9:47 Speaker 00 And then sit watching the film.
9:49 Speaker 01 No, every man, and I had a lovely ice cream sundae.
9:52 Speaker 00 I don't like, look, just watch the, people have worked hard to watch the film and then you go and get.
9:58 Speaker 01 Everyone's eating in there all for a tea time showing.
10:00 Speaker 00 And look, I think.
10:01 Speaker 01 Do you know what, by the way, it's lovely, everyone's eating, you're nudging someone, hey, what have you bloody got there? It's like.
10:09 Speaker 01 It's like going to someone's house for tea, it's like being at Woody's house.
10:12 Speaker 00 I don't like it.
10:14 Speaker 01 Because. It's like being at Bonnie's house or Bonnie's.
10:17 Speaker 00 You put together a film.
10:18 Speaker 01 Yeah.
10:19 Speaker 00 Work hard on it, right? I think a bit of popcorn where you don't have to look down, that's what's great about popcorn, is you don't have to pay any attention to it at all, you're ingrained in the film.
10:28 Speaker 01 You eat a burger like you're driving a car, do you?
10:31 Speaker 00 Yeah, I'm steering it and everything, yeah.
10:33 Speaker 01 No, but you're looking at it the whole time. I go, right, I've got the analysis, this is how big the burger is, and I'm pretty, I'm very good with my bites. I know exactly how many bites a burger will take.
10:42 Speaker 00 I think sometimes you forget you're saying these things out loud and this is going out on a podcast. I've completed the analysis and I'm very good with my bites. You just said that.
10:51 Speaker 01 I know, what, what's wrong with you? Well, I look at a burger and go, okay, this is what I'm gonna, I'm gonna give it a turn at that point. So I'm not, look, I can go, I can watch a film and eat a burger at the same time seamlessly.
11:02 Speaker 00 No, I know, you're really good with burgers. Didn't you have a whole routine in your last tour about eating a burger and the stick got stuck in the back of your throat?
11:08 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's happened.
11:08 Speaker 00 And it had to be pulled out. And you weren't even watching a fucking film then, were you?
11:13 Speaker 01 Once bitten, twice shy. I don't know. By the way, that's one of the first ports of call. If I found a stick in a burger, that would be in, in a cinema. I'd go, what are you thinking? Get the team together, let's have a chat. It's insane, it's dark in here.
11:25 Speaker 00 It's all happening while the film's still running. People are absolutely furious.
11:28 Speaker 01 A little ice cream sundae.
11:30 Speaker 00 Okay, so you had a burger, ice cream sundae?
11:31 Speaker 01 Yeah.
11:32 Speaker 00 Okay.
11:32 Speaker 01 Um, would say that that was.
11:34 Speaker 00 So I've never been, I've never been to one of these cinemas, so how does it work?
11:37 Speaker 01 Every man, so there's food delivered, you get food.
11:39 Speaker 00 And have you got a little table in front of you?
11:40 Speaker 01 No, no, no, but you've got a little table to the side.
11:42 Speaker 00 Okay, and then when, how do you order?
11:44 Speaker 01 Well, you can order on the app, you can order this.
11:46 Speaker 00 So you were getting your phone out during the film?
11:47 Speaker 01 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You order before the show, they bring your food in before the film starts, sometimes just as the traders are going on. And then you run out and you can grab like a sundae for dessert.
11:57 Speaker 00 So you left the film to go get a sundae?
11:59 Speaker 01 Yeah, I went for a wee and grabbed a sund, a couple of sundaes on the way back.
12:01 Speaker 00 Okay.
12:02 Speaker 01 That was about it.
12:02 Speaker 00 I hope there was some sort of hand washing at some point during the whole process.
12:05 Speaker 01 Can I say, by the way, that's, I will say that when I came out, Crefin was like, Catherine, there's chocolate all over your top. And I'd misjudge, that was a silly move. Eating a sundae in the dark, I've not got the weather all to do such a thing.
12:17 Speaker 00 You didn't, you do round analysis and you're like.
12:19 Speaker 01 No, no, I, I looked at it, thought, no, I've got this. And what I'd say is the spoon created a lot of, there was, sometimes I overheat the spoon, there was a little bit of debris that fell off.
12:27 Speaker 00 I feel very, because I don't know if you noticed, I was drinking something and I've spilled it on my face.
12:31 Speaker 01 It's a little stain there. It's like your microphone chains.
12:34 Speaker 00 No, it's, it was actually, I was drinking a blueberry smoothie.
12:37 Speaker 01 Is this for your influence stuff, that you've got a little microphone that you can?
12:40 Speaker 00 This actually is actually a working microphone.
12:42 Speaker 01 But you do, now you're doing your.
12:43 Speaker 00 Just in case, I've got a camera in my little finger.
12:46 Speaker 01 You do your vox, anyway.
12:47 Speaker 00 Anyway.
12:48 Speaker 01 I'm not gonna go around, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna fall into the trap of being like, because I, I would hate for sort of Rex or someone to see, or the voice actor of Rex. I'd say Rex were one of my favourite characters. Slinky, their roles have been really reduced. Slinky, Slinky's for, for, yeah. Mr. Potato Head, yeah. There's bigger parts that have come in for other characters.
13:09 Speaker 00 Okay, so there's new characters?
13:10 Speaker 01 Yeah, there's a lot, a lot of it's about tech.
13:12 Speaker 00 Yeah, I've heard that, about tablets and screen time and stuff. Did you feel, did you feel as a parent, there was any kind of message there for you?
13:18 Speaker 01 If, if there was, it went over my head.
13:24 Speaker 01 I, uh, yeah, my favourite, I just loved the Buzz and Jessie line. That stuff with them, that whole arc is just, yeah, it's lovely. Buzz is the most vulnerable Buzz Lightyear we've ever seen.
13:35 Speaker 00 Have you watched Tim Allen talking about it at all?
13:37 Speaker 01 No, no, no. I, I don't really like to think of them as actors now. I like to think of them as characters.
13:42 Speaker 00 Okay, well, so Buzz has been doing some press for the film. And he said they've, they've had some issues with his voice sounding too old.
13:56 Speaker 01 I actually think Jessie sounds a lot older, yeah. I didn't really notice it with Buzz. Also, he's an older toy now.
14:03 Speaker 00 Yeah, cause I, I was watching some footage, footage, kill me. I was watching a video of the kids when they were a bit younger and obviously their voices are completely different.
14:13 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
14:14 Speaker 00 And then, I, I don't know if you've watched any stand up from a long time when you first started.
14:18 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
14:18 Speaker 00 I think my voice has changed since, even since I've started doing stand up.
14:22 Speaker 01 I think your voice has changed since you've, you've done the play.
14:25 Speaker 00 No, you're placing, this, you're playing like a long game with it. You're playing a long game here. This is like one of the longest pranks of all time. I think, I think you have decided, I think you've sat down with Kat and you've gone, I'm gonna make, it's gonna take a while for this to fully bed in, but I'm gonna make it out to Rom that I think this play is gonna be life changing for him. So I'm gonna start, I'm gonna start with a phone, I'm gonna start with a phone call on the night. And then I'm just gonna keep on reinforcing my gun. That's one of the most, and then one day, if he says to me, he's thinking about a step about, I'm gonna say to him, you're gonna do Hollywood films in the next couple of years. I, I just wanna nudge away, nudge away, nudge away.
15:05 Speaker 01 No, how dare you. You know much I love you. That, look, I, I stand by everything, but I do think your dictation's got better since the play.
15:12 Speaker 00 Hmm.
15:13 Speaker 01 You did, like, look me in the eye. Did you do vocal exercises?
15:15 Speaker 00 A bit harsh.
15:16 Speaker 01 Did you do vocal exercises while you were doing that vocal training?
15:19 Speaker 00 Yeah, but I didn't do them for this podcast.
15:20 Speaker 01 No, no, no, but.
15:21 Speaker 00 La, la, la, la, la.
15:22 Speaker 01 No, no, no, but.
15:23 Speaker 00 Yeah, I did.
15:23 Speaker 01 That, your voice has changed because of the algorithm of your voice has changed.
15:26 Speaker 00 Okay, don't, don't, don't do this.
15:28 Speaker 01 It has. I think it is. I think, I think you said, your dictation.
15:31 Speaker 00 No, no, no, I don't use.
15:32 Speaker 01 Your pacing is slightly different as well.
15:34 Speaker 00 In what way?
15:35 Speaker 01 It used to be, it used to be a bit more like snappy. I, I don't think I can hear that voice anymore for you. I, I think you've lost that, that sort of, it's not as naisely.
15:44 Speaker 00 I think this is a psychological.
15:44 Speaker 01 No, I'm not being honest.
15:46 Speaker 00 Okay.
15:47 Speaker 01 Okay, that's.
15:48 Speaker 00 Okay, okay. Oh, that was a bit.
15:51 Speaker 01 That was a bit. No, but also I like the thought that you think that me and, mine and Catherine's sort of like dynamic is me laying in bed and going, uh, you're going to bed now both. Yeah, I'm just gonna be there in a minute. Uh, I've got the next part of the plan to take Ramesh down. Oh, God. Can't you say something sexy?
16:08 Speaker 00 Oh, make love to, make love to busy, tell me the next stage.
16:11 Speaker 01 I think it is sexy. Um, yeah, it was, it was good. I, I'd, I'd implore you to go with Lisa and watch it, Toy Story Five. There's a couple of romantic bits in there.
16:20 Speaker 00 Oh, lovely.
16:20 Speaker 01 Yeah.
16:21 Speaker 00 Um, I'm sure, I'm sure the families will enjoy Lisa and I absolutely blasting the shit out of each other.
16:29 Speaker 01 Open mouth kissing in the front row.
16:31 Speaker 00 Toy Story Five. Oh, come here, little bow.
16:35 Speaker 01 Is that rummage frankenachin? It doesn't sound like it.
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18:11 Speaker 00 Lisa and I did go to the cinema recently.
18:13 Speaker 01 Wow, where did you go to watch?
18:15 Speaker 00 So it was a Sunday.
18:16 Speaker 01 Okay.
18:17 Speaker 00 Charlie had Oliver.
18:20 Speaker 01 Yep.
18:21 Speaker 00 So Lisa and I went to drop him off at the theatre.
18:24 Speaker 01 Nice.
18:25 Speaker 00 And then, I'm just qualifying this because it's very difficult to, we wanted to go to the cinema because it's really hot.
18:31 Speaker 01 Yeah.
18:31 Speaker 00 And we've got cinemas that's got air conditioning.
18:32 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, of course, of course.
18:34 Speaker 00 The difficulty is, you've got to pick a film that starts and finishes within the time that Charlie will be at the theatre.
18:39 Speaker 01 Yeah, because you can't have him waiting outside London at night.
18:41 Speaker 00 So that's tricky.
18:43 Speaker 01 Yeah.
18:43 Speaker 00 We had like three, four hours window. So that rules out most of the films.
18:48 Speaker 01 How long is he there for then? He's there for four hours.
18:50 Speaker 00 They do warm-ups and all that shit.
18:51 Speaker 01 Of course, yes. So I've been a footballer.
18:54 Speaker 00 A little bit, yeah.
18:54 Speaker 01 Yeah.
18:55 Speaker 00 Yeah, a little bit.
18:56 Speaker 01 It's good, good for Charlie.
18:57 Speaker 00 Yeah, not the same pay unfortunately, but um, so anyway, I'm saying all that to qualify.
19:05 Speaker 01 Yeah.
19:06 Speaker 00 What it is we went to see.
19:08 Speaker 01 Go on, what did you go and watch?
19:09 Speaker 00 Obviously it's got to fit in that slot.
19:10 Speaker 01 Yeah, of course, of course.
19:12 Speaker 00 So you've just got to, you've got to go with what's.
19:14 Speaker 01 What's on at that time.
19:15 Speaker 00 What's on at that time and you've got to finish before.
19:17 Speaker 01 Yeah, you're, yeah, you can't be, yeah, he can't be, yeah.
19:20 Speaker 00 Yeah, and you know, obviously you want it to be a date experience, but it can't always be because you've got to, anyway, Lisa and I went to watch Masters of the Universe.
19:27 Speaker 01 What, without any of the kids?
19:28 Speaker 00 Yeah, without any of the kids.
19:30 Speaker 01 I mean, it's a kind of quite a sweet in this way because it's like retro, right?
19:33 Speaker 00 I used to like, I used to really like He-Man.
19:36 Speaker 01 Favourite character?
19:37 Speaker 00 Favourite character? Well, that disappointed me, my favourite character is probably Orko, who doesn't actually feature that much in the film.
19:42 Speaker 01 Really?
19:43 Speaker 00 Yeah.
19:43 Speaker 01 That's a shame.
19:44 Speaker 00 Who's your favourite?
19:44 Speaker 01 I'm a classicist, I love He-Man.
19:47 Speaker 00 Right, okay.
19:48 Speaker 01 And did he, it was his goofy sidekick, did he have a goofy sidekick?
19:51 Speaker 00 He had a cat.
19:52 Speaker 01 Yeah.
19:53 Speaker 00 Cringer, he became Battle Cat.
19:54 Speaker 01 Yeah. Battle Cat, though, wasn't that the whole thing, if you know, when you watch the making of the toys for Mattel? That was only, that was because they had loads of these tigers left. So before the cartoon got done, they basically were like, we've got loads of these tigers that aren't selling. So Mattel were always in front of the actual cartoon. So they painted this in green and yellow.
20:13 Speaker 00 Is that true? I mean, that would not surprise me.
20:15 Speaker 01 That is, yeah, it's in the, it's on Netflix, there's a documentary about it. Not just about Battle Cat.
20:19 Speaker 00 No, but what you realise from watching that film is, uh, first of all, look, I respect anybody that makes a film.
20:26 Speaker 01 Yeah.
20:27 Speaker 00 It's very hard to get a film onto screen. And so anybody that manages to get the financing together.
20:33 Speaker 01 What I'm gonna think is, yeah, arguably that it's not as hard as it probably should be.
20:38 Speaker 00 No.
20:38 Speaker 01 In some situations.
20:39 Speaker 00 Well, I'd say they should have made this more difficult to make. Uh, no, the, the, the truth is, um, I think they had a, a diff, uh, they had a difficult job.
20:47 Speaker 01 Yeah.
20:48 Speaker 00 Because they wanted to make a tongue in cheek Master of the Universe film.
20:52 Speaker 01 It was always very camp, right?
20:54 Speaker 00 It was always camp. I'm gonna say something quite controversial here. I, I, I've watched all of the Kevin Smith Master of the Universe cartoon on Netflix.
21:03 Speaker 01 Okay.
21:03 Speaker 00 And it's brilliant.
21:04 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
21:05 Speaker 00 I, I, I would thoroughly recommend that, right? If you, if you even got a passing interest in He-Man.
21:10 Speaker 01 I've never watched it.
21:11 Speaker 00 It's really good. They, and they, and they've made it for the people that watch it as, as kids. Yeah, yeah. So it's an adult, it is an adult show. It's amazing. I think it's unbelievable. This, I don't think they knew what to do with it. So they didn't know how serious to go with it or how tongue in cheek to be. So they've sort of fallen between two stools.
21:31 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's, that's the worst thing you can do.
21:32 Speaker 00 And in watching the film, what I realised was is actually He-Man as like an IP is a bit shit.
21:42 Speaker 00 That that is the truth of it.
21:43 Speaker 01 Who's Skeletor?
21:45 Speaker 00 Jared Leto, Jared Leto.
21:46 Speaker 01 Oh, okay.
21:47 Speaker 00 He plays it a bit like, uh, Jack Sparrow.
21:50 Speaker 01 Really?
21:50 Speaker 00 Yeah, that kind of.
21:51 Speaker 01 But Skeletor was a bit like.
21:54 Speaker 00 Yeah, Skeletor's kind of straight down the line evil. I I mean, He-Man is a prince who raises his sword and becomes kind of hench.
22:03 Speaker 01 Yeah.
22:04 Speaker 00 That's He-Man.
22:05 Speaker 01 Is he hench-hench, or is he?
22:06 Speaker 00 Uh, he's hench all the time in this, cause like, you know, in the in the cartoon, he sort of beefs up.
22:10 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:11 Speaker 00 That doesn't happen.
22:12 Speaker 01 Is Idris in it?
22:13 Speaker 00 Idris plays man at arms, yes.
22:14 Speaker 01 Wow.
22:15 Speaker 00 Slash Duncan.
22:19 Speaker 00 And that's his name.
22:21 Speaker 01 That'll be the only time that Idris ever plays anyone called Duncan, I'd imagine.
22:24 Speaker 00 I expect so, yeah.
22:25 Speaker 01 Is is is Idris good? He's always good. He's always cool, right?
22:29 Speaker 00 Yeah, he's good. He's good, yeah.
22:30 Speaker 01 Yeah?
22:31 Speaker 00 Yeah, he's good in it. Yeah, he's good in it. I mean, uh, nobody's particularly bad in it. I I just.
22:35 Speaker 01 Just the to- tonally, it's just a little bit.
22:37 Speaker 00 I think they they're try- they're sort of taking the piss out of He-Man.
22:41 Speaker 01 Yeah.
22:41 Speaker 00 But they're not completely taking the piss out of it. So some of it, you've got to believe that that in the jeopardy of the storyline. And then some of it, they're undermining it. And it, do you know what it reminds me of a lot? The last Thor film.
22:53 Speaker 01 Okay.
22:54 Speaker 00 Love and Thunder. It like, where they're trying to be funny. It's not as funny as Love and Thunder. But they kind of end up, you know, they they just don't do either job particularly.
23:03 Speaker 01 You know with Deadpool?
23:04 Speaker 00 Yeah.
23:05 Speaker 01 So Deadpool had the fight, it did it perfectly, right?
23:07 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah.
23:07 Speaker 01 Both Deadpool movies were undercutting it, breaking the full form. But you've got, yeah.
23:11 Speaker 00 And the third one.
23:13 Speaker 01 The the, oh shit, yeah, yeah, I forgot. I went to see that as well. That's Deadpool Wolverine, right?
23:18 Speaker 00 Yeah.
23:18 Speaker 01 Oh, fuck, my my brain. I swear I've had some kind of episode.
23:22 Speaker 00 Do you think you have?
23:23 Speaker 01 Yeah, I think at some point. My memory is is like, bum, overnight.
23:27 Speaker 00 It happens.
23:28 Speaker 01 Yeah.
23:28 Speaker 00 Have you have you tried, um, any kind of supplements?
23:32 Speaker 01 I'm trying a couple here and there.
23:34 Speaker 00 I think you should start doing Sudoku's.
23:36 Speaker 01 Really?
23:36 Speaker 00 Yeah.
23:38 Speaker 01 I don't even, wouldn't even know where to start with Sudoku.
23:41 Speaker 00 Well, first would be pronunciation. Sudoku. Second.
23:46 Speaker 01 What is, what is it? Like numbers and pictures and stuff?
23:48 Speaker 00 It's not pictures.
23:54 Speaker 00 Sudoku is like a little number puzzle.
23:57 Speaker 01 Right, okay.
23:58 Speaker 00 And you've got to fill in the digits according to like a sequence. Can't remember what the exact rules are. It's got every line and every column has got to have all the digits one to nine in.
24:08 Speaker 01 Okay, I mean, I'm already bamboozled. I've not even started.
24:10 Speaker 00 Yeah. Well, it's difficult to solve a Sudoku when you don't have one in front of you. I, I, I, I think hypothetically talking about solving.
24:20 Speaker 01 Yeah, but for you, it's like, as an ex maths teacher, that's like taking candy from a baby. It's that's probably like you are probably quite hot and sexy when you're doing it.
24:30 Speaker 00 I'm not, I've not done one for ages, but I started, I became really worried about my mental degradation as I got older.
24:36 Speaker 01 Right.
24:37 Speaker 00 So I started like downloading brain puzzles and stuff like that. And every now and again I do them and you feel like it, um, it kind of activates something. It makes your brain.
24:48 Speaker 01 Do you think it works?
24:49 Speaker 00 I think, it feels like it does. Like if you keep those neural pathways going, apparently you stop the kind of inevitable. It's not inevitable, actually. You can stop it being inevitable by your actions, but like apparently if you don't do those things, like even stopping doing mental arithmetic, which we all stop doing after school. Most of us do, then those pathways get shut down. You know, your brain becomes worse at those things. And then you stop thinking about, so when you're constantly doing that, it actually is meant to be really good.
25:17 Speaker 01 I, I've downloaded SimCity. I've been playing that quite a lot.
25:20 Speaker 00 Yeah, I think that's exactly the same as what I've been talking about.
25:23 Speaker 01 Like, cause there's some sort of problem solving.
25:25 Speaker 00 Yeah, and you've also, you've downloaded a VPN app, haven't you as well? So you can access Pornhub without having to.
25:31 Speaker 01 I've not fallen into that trap.
25:33 Speaker 00 Okay.
25:33 Speaker 01 That's a grotty old trap, isn't it?
25:35 Speaker 00 What is?
25:35 Speaker 01 Oh, porn.
25:37 Speaker 00 Porn? You've never used porn?
25:38 Speaker 01 I've used it before, yeah, but I think now, I think, yeah, I think it's akin to being a bit.
25:43 Speaker 00 Yeah, I agree. I think you have to, I think you have to go off memory.
25:46 Speaker 01 Yeah.
25:46 Speaker 00 Or if you, if you're into arts, a drawing that you've done.
25:50 Speaker 01 A drawing? I can imagine you drawing sexy pictures.
25:55 Speaker 01 Skit.
25:58 Speaker 00 I'm just, I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna, Lisa, just go to the toilet. First of all, I need to give myself some kindling.
26:05 Speaker 01 What have you been drawing on the back of that bag of kettle chips?
26:09 Speaker 00 Actually, I found quite convenient just to draw it on the back of your hand and it's always there for when you need it.
26:13 Speaker 01 You can have it as a tattoo.
26:15 Speaker 00 After a shower, I'll often get a bar and I'll have a little tattoo of a masturbation stimulus.
26:22 Speaker 01 Yeah, porn's, porn's, porn's grotty.
26:25 Speaker 00 Yeah, it's grotty, yeah.
26:26 Speaker 01 You've got to be careful of that stuff.
26:27 Speaker 00 Actually, the more you read about it, the more you realise that it's not just grotty.
26:31 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
26:32 Speaker 00 It's bad.
26:33 Speaker 01 It's really bad.
26:33 Speaker 00 It's really bad.
26:34 Speaker 01 Yeah.
26:35 Speaker 00 And.
26:35 Speaker 01 And what it's doing to your, yeah.
26:38 Speaker 00 Go on, what's it do to you?
26:39 Speaker 01 What it's doing to your mental health and your, yeah, your space, aside the darkness and all the horrible stuff that goes on in the making of it.
26:46 Speaker 00 Yeah.
26:47 Speaker 01 It's a very, very.
26:47 Speaker 00 Well, look, the, the truth of it is, is it stops you desiring your partner as much.
26:51 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
26:53 Speaker 00 That's Lisa, that's what Lisa tells me.
26:55 Speaker 01 Lisa's always watching porn.
26:56 Speaker 00 Yeah, constantly. That's my problem.
27:00 Speaker 01 Just, just going to work, how long are you gonna be?
27:02 Speaker 00 No, it's really bad. And then apparently young men are like learning how to have sex from porn.
27:06 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:07 Speaker 00 The whole thing's a shit show.
27:08 Speaker 01 Yeah.
27:09 Speaker 00 Anyway, that's why I only keep it twice a day.
27:12 Speaker 01 You're watching of porn?
27:13 Speaker 00 Yeah.
27:13 Speaker 01 You like ones with long storylines as well, right?
27:15 Speaker 00 Do you know what? I, I will watch it for the narrative arc and then when they start getting a bit frisky, I'll often switch off.
27:22 Speaker 01 Oh, that's a shame. Let's see what happens to Devon.
27:25 Speaker 00 I wanted to see where the conversation went and then he grabbed her tail.
27:31 Speaker 01 I thought the way you rubbed your penis when you said that.
27:34 Speaker 00 Uh, for people that are only listening, I'll be rubbing my penis the entire time.
27:43 Speaker 00 But you're right, I'm glad, I'm glad that we, uh, have the same views on porn.
27:46 Speaker 01 Yeah, no, I, I, I'm pretty judgmental on, on people who watch it now.
27:50 Speaker 00 Are you?
27:51 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:52 Speaker 00 But I don't, I don't think you can be judgmental, uh, I'm being judgmental of you saying that, but what I mean is sometimes people don't know, do they? Or they've got, they're making different life choices to you.
28:02 Speaker 01 But then I think there's enough stuff out there to read about it.
28:05 Speaker 00 Yeah.
28:06 Speaker 01 And think, you know. It's a mad thing now even to think that it was ever really okay.
28:11 Speaker 00 Hmm.
28:11 Speaker 01 Actually, talking about this.
28:13 Speaker 00 We are, yeah.
28:14 Speaker 01 Poor old Giant from the Gladiators. I don't want to plough in on him because he's had a rope, ropey or something. He split up with the woman that he was seeing.
28:20 Speaker 00 Let's, let's talk about this because first of all, I'm not going to name names.
28:25 Speaker 01 Yeah.
28:26 Speaker 00 But after we talked about Giant last time, I got a text message.
28:30 Speaker 01 Yeah.
28:30 Speaker 00 From somebody in the know.
28:32 Speaker 01 Same.
28:32 Speaker 00 Saying we were right about what we were speculating.
28:36 Speaker 01 Yeah.
28:37 Speaker 00 That actually what we said was correct.
28:39 Speaker 01 Yeah.
28:40 Speaker 00 So Giant was going out with this OnlyFans model.
28:43 Speaker 01 Yeah.
28:44 Speaker 00 The producers and the channel found out about this. And that basically it was incompatible with him being on, I guess, a family TV show.
28:53 Speaker 01 Kid's show, right?
28:54 Speaker 00 And for the sake of his girlfriend, he said, well, we want to go public with this. I think they would have been fine if he hadn't have gone public with it, right? It like, because you can have.
29:03 Speaker 01 I think the thing was that he said they were going to shoot content.
29:05 Speaker 00 That's right, because, because if you, if you've got a partner who's in the, who's not in the public eye.
29:10 Speaker 01 Yeah.
29:10 Speaker 00 Then I think that's sort of fine, right?
29:12 Speaker 01 Yeah, I actually think even, to be fair, even if he'd gone, this is what I'm going out with.
29:16 Speaker 00 Yeah.
29:17 Speaker 01 But the fact they were shooting.
29:17 Speaker 00 They want to shoot content, yeah. And then, and then a kid's going to watch, oh Giant, let me see what Giant's girlfriend's up to.
29:23 Speaker 01 Yeah.
29:23 Speaker 00 Oh, Dad, can I have your credit card? And then suddenly, you know, they've got a subscription. So that, that's the issue, right? So Giant basically didn't get renewed for the next series of Gladiators.
29:36 Speaker 01 Yeah.
29:37 Speaker 00 Because of this relationship.
29:39 Speaker 01 Yeah.
29:40 Speaker 00 And then what happened?
29:41 Speaker 01 Now they've split up, right? It's, it's a sad state of affairs for him. Because he had actually worked hard to get to a place where he was, and he was the big star, right, of Gladiators? He was the.
29:50 Speaker 00 Well, physically, I don't know, I don't know who, I don't know who the popular.
29:54 Speaker 01 I think he was the.
29:55 Speaker 00 Gladiators.
29:56 Speaker 01 I think he was very much the Hulk Hogan of.
29:57 Speaker 00 Right. I know Giant is one you hear about a lot. Saber.
30:01 Speaker 01 Yeah.
30:01 Speaker 00 It's another one.
30:02 Speaker 01 Saber's kept his, his nut down. He's, he's kept it, yeah.
30:04 Speaker 00 I mean, Saber's a woman, but thank you for, thank you for not pretending you knew what I was talking about.
30:24 Speaker 01 I don't watch the show, I'm quite honest with you.
30:26 Speaker 00 Why did you say Saber's kept his nut down?
30:32 Speaker 01 I don't just thought Saber, just felt like.
30:44 Speaker 00 Yeah, so Saber's kept his nut down.
30:48 Speaker 01 Saber's kept her nut down.
30:49 Speaker 00 Yeah, sure, sure. No, that's right. Don't say that you don't know who Saber is. Just change the gender of the observation you made about the person you're talking about.
31:00 Speaker 01 But Saber's not started dating like HS Tik Tok or something.
31:03 Speaker 00 No, but a few of them are like, I would say Saber's one of the more active ones.
31:07 Speaker 01 Yeah.
31:08 Speaker 00 On Instagram and stuff like that.
31:09 Speaker 01 Yeah.
31:10 Speaker 00 Like they're, obviously gladiators will not come to an end, but they'll cycle gladi-, you know, I don't know how long gladiators are gonna last for.
31:16 Speaker 01 Well, it's probably gonna be like strictly, isn't it?
31:17 Speaker 00 Yeah, so they're gonna, but they'll cycle gladiators, won't they?
31:20 Speaker 01 Yeah.
31:21 Speaker 00 Gladiators will come and go, right? I see him. So obviously it'd be foolish to not, foolish?
31:26 Speaker 01 Wow.
31:27 Speaker 00 Fool.
31:28 Speaker 01 You've lost your ways since you sort of, yeah.
31:30 Speaker 00 Foolish. Is that, that was foolish. Foolish. Foolish.
31:33 Speaker 01 Foolish, yeah.
31:34 Speaker 00 I said foolish, didn't I?
31:35 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, you went, again, theatre. That's very Chris Biggins.
31:39 Speaker 00 I didn't like, I didn't like what happened.
31:40 Speaker 01 That's very Chris Biggins of you.
31:42 Speaker 00 Sorry, fucking foolish.
31:43 Speaker 01 Foolish.
31:44 Speaker 00 Be fucking foolish.
31:46 Speaker 01 Foolish.
31:46 Speaker 00 Be foolish, uh, to not try and think about what your other, you know, what else you're gonna, how are you gonna use that?
31:53 Speaker 01 So you don't think like the sort of like leaning into pornography was necessarily, oh, you didn't make any pornography, right?
31:58 Speaker 00 I don't think he was, they weren't gonna make OnlyFans content, were they?
32:00 Speaker 01 What's her content?
32:01 Speaker 00 No, I know that's her content, but I don't think they were gonna make OnlyFans content. I think, not even he would be, I don't think he's gonna do that.
32:08 Speaker 01 Yeah, but can I just say?
32:09 Speaker 00 I think they were just talking about like.
32:10 Speaker 01 This is very much the He-Man situation.
32:12 Speaker 00 In what way?
32:13 Speaker 01 Well, you've got one, that's where, that's where her content and that's when people subscribe to watch her. That's where that is, right? Nothing wrong with that. That's her vibe. And that's where he sits, right? So what, the two, the two can't really mix. What, what do they become? You know?
32:29 Speaker 00 What's that, sorry, what's that got to do with He-Man?
32:31 Speaker 01 Because He-Man, you were saying that tonally, you didn't, it was a bit off.
32:34 Speaker 00 Oh, I see, right, okay, yeah.
32:34 Speaker 01 Was it tongue in cheek or was it a fool?
32:36 Speaker 00 Yeah, everything doesn't have to tie with something else, do you know what I mean?
32:38 Speaker 01 Kind of if you can make it tight, it's all fun.
32:41 Speaker 00 We've all seen it all show.
32:46 Speaker 00 Some of the most tenuous callbacks in the industry.
32:50 Speaker 01 Sometimes a callback to the last tour.
32:54 Speaker 01 Sometimes I call back to a joke that I just did in the pub three weeks before.
32:57 Speaker 00 A couple of times, you did a callback to my tour.
33:04 Speaker 01 I love a callback. It doesn't have to be about me. Yeah, but then, yeah, I feel for him though. I do feel that it's a lesson learned.
33:12 Speaker 00 Well, you just, obviously, when you first get together with someone, you think it's gonna last forever.
33:17 Speaker 01 Of course.
33:18 Speaker 00 So he's gone all in.
33:20 Speaker 01 Yeah.
33:20 Speaker 00 And unfortunately it's not worked.
33:21 Speaker 01 By the way, you can't knock him for his commitment in a relationship.
33:24 Speaker 00 No, yeah. We don't know what's gone on there though.
33:27 Speaker 01 No, but I'm telling you, if you're out there looking for love and you think, well, bloody hell, a giant, he loves commitment. You know, he's, you know, it feels like as a single guy, he's, yeah. He's got.
33:40 Speaker 00 What's going on with you now?
33:41 Speaker 01 I'm just saying.
33:42 Speaker 00 No, but I've not done anything and you're sort of losing confidence in what you're saying.
33:45 Speaker 01 Cause you, you, you know what you'd be really good at?
33:47 Speaker 00 What?
33:48 Speaker 01 You like, you know, those legal dramas like JFK?
33:50 Speaker 00 Right.
33:51 Speaker 01 You'd be really good like.
33:52 Speaker 00 Those legal dramas like JFK?
33:56 Speaker 01 You'd be really good at being like the, um, the attorney.
34:00 Speaker 00 Right.
34:01 Speaker 01 The one that, yeah, for the look.
34:04 Speaker 01 Actually, as a jury member, you'd be a fucking nightmare. I'd never know what you're thinking.
34:08 Speaker 00 No, but I don't think you, I don't, well, no, you didn't.
34:10 Speaker 01 Oh, you do. Something, you know what I was thinking? Well, if you were fucking, if you.
34:19 Speaker 00 Definitely did it.
34:21 Speaker 01 He did it, mate. He did it. Um, yeah, but I think you'd be, you'd be one of those people, I could imagine everyone's going, we gotta break down that guy.
34:28 Speaker 00 Hmm.
34:29 Speaker 01 Yeah.
34:30 Speaker 00 His name's Jamie, isn't it? Giant.
34:32 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think, how long can he go with the name Giant for?
34:36 Speaker 00 Yeah, I don't know who owns that.
34:37 Speaker 01 Oh, you know what? Wolf still calls himself Wolf from the old gradators. Well, there's a new wolf in town, so fucking mind yourself.
34:44 Speaker 00 Oh, fuck me. Do you wanna do that down the barrel of the camera?
34:47 Speaker 01 No, I'm learning my lesson from that. Yeah.
34:50 Speaker 00 So if you're in a relationship with somebody and you've just started going out with them.
34:53 Speaker 01 Yeah.
34:53 Speaker 00 And then that becomes a national news story.
34:55 Speaker 01 Yeah.
34:56 Speaker 00 Cause they had to quit their job. I wonder if that's that helpful in a relationship? Cause it's like, that sort of thing must be, I mean, she, I know she's an OnlyFans person. I forgot, I don't know what the name was. OnlyFans performer, content creator?
35:13 Speaker 00 So publicity is good, but that's quite, I mean, that's a lot, isn't it? You know, in a new relationship to go, uh, uh, we're now on like Good Morning Britain, talking about.
35:23 Speaker 01 Yeah, but I think for both of them, they didn't have to do that, did they?
35:26 Speaker 00 No, they didn't, but.
35:27 Speaker 01 But that's, no, but I'm like, if you're, if you're in a situation where you're like, okay, this is about the relationship and about us moving forward as a couple. You probably very much put your nut down, get your.
35:39 Speaker 00 Yeah, lightsaber.
35:40 Speaker 01 Lightsaber, dude.
35:41 Speaker 00 Bless his soul.
35:42 Speaker 01 You get your head down and go, okay.
35:44 Speaker 00 Yeah.
35:44 Speaker 01 Yeah, but in the hatch, it's just, you know, just get, that's the, the storm, probably another gladiator called Storm, there used to be. That storm ride over and then will pop up for air when, when things have died down, but instead they went, they went on the front foot.
35:56 Speaker 00 Well, I think they saw it as a launchpad for a potential.
35:59 Speaker 01 Exactly.
35:59 Speaker 00 You know.
36:00 Speaker 01 So, so what's happened is it became, you know, a thing for idiots like us to talk about.
36:04 Speaker 00 Yeah, listen, and I'm just gonna say from both of us, thank you.
36:09 Speaker 00 You know, we could still be talking about Toy Story five were it not for this story.
36:14 Speaker 01 Yeah, I, I, I, I might reach out to the giant now and just make sure.
36:17 Speaker 00 What are you gonna say?
36:18 Speaker 01 Hey, man, hope you're okay, um.
36:19 Speaker 00 I actually do hope he is okay.
36:21 Speaker 01 I do, yeah.
36:21 Speaker 00 Cause I feel.
36:21 Speaker 01 I've actually, he reached out to me on the last time we talked about this.
36:24 Speaker 00 Did he? What did he say?
36:25 Speaker 01 It's a very gentle message, very sweet and, and he's a lovely man.
36:28 Speaker 00 Yeah.
36:28 Speaker 01 So I, and I'll, I'll reach back out to him.
36:29 Speaker 00 He did reach out to me and I've met him.
36:32 Speaker 01 I've met him once, but yeah.
36:33 Speaker 00 I've met him as well, twice.
36:34 Speaker 01 What is your vibe with him?
36:36 Speaker 00 I thought we would get, I thought we'd got on quite well. Comic relief, we met at.
36:40 Speaker 01 Oh, okay, yeah, yeah.
36:41 Speaker 00 Wha- wha- what's that mean?
36:42 Speaker 01 Well, comic relief is there's a lot going on. There's a lot going on.
36:45 Speaker 00 So where did you meet him?
36:46 Speaker 01 At the, the Royal Variety.
36:48 Speaker 00 Oh, right, no, that's much more down to earth place than, you know, you're right. What a stuck up prick I am.
36:56 Speaker 00 Sorry, I forgot you met him at the real Salt of the Earth event, the Royal Variety.
37:03 Speaker 01 No, but I can't believe everyone's doing a bit.
37:05 Speaker 00 Right, got you, yeah.
37:06 Speaker 01 You've got your stuff.
37:07 Speaker 00 But he didn't reach out to me, is what I'm saying.
37:09 Speaker 01 Yeah, but then, yeah, I don't know.
37:11 Speaker 00 Yeah.
37:11 Speaker 01 To be fair, I had reached out to him before this happened and asked for tickets to the Gladiators.
37:15 Speaker 00 No, you hadn't, is that true?
37:16 Speaker 01 Yeah. He actually said, bless him, he said, probably can't get your tickets anymore. And then we started chatting.
37:23 Speaker 00 Oh my god, Tom, that's so bad.
37:26 Speaker 01 No, it was before this happened.
37:27 Speaker 00 Anyway, I do, I do feel bad for him.
37:30 Speaker 01 Yeah, I do, yeah.
37:30 Speaker 00 I do feel bad for him.
37:31 Speaker 01 It's hard enough to get in.
37:32 Speaker 00 Because that's difficult, first of all, to, to come out of the job like that.
37:35 Speaker 01 Yeah.
37:35 Speaker 00 And he's done it for decent reasons and the relationship's gone wrong.
37:38 Speaker 01 Yeah.
37:38 Speaker 00 Not gone wrong, broken up. That doesn't mean, that's the wrong word, gone wrong. If you break up, it's probably the right thing to do.
37:44 Speaker 01 Yeah.
37:44 Speaker 00 If you stay together, it's the right thing. What I mean is, just because somebody's broken up doesn't mean it's, it's just a shame that you've walked, that you've lost your job for this relationship that ended up not being the one.
37:54 Speaker 01 Yeah, I feel for him. I do feel for him.
37:56 Speaker 00 I feel, I do feel sorry for him. Not sorry, that's patronising. Sad for him.
38:00 Speaker 01 Yeah.
38:01 Speaker 00 Yeah.
38:02 Speaker 01 That's quite sweet the way you said that.
38:04 Speaker 00 Why do I, I don't know.
38:05 Speaker 01 You're very, I like the nuance, do you?
38:08 Speaker 00 Do you?
38:08 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's very nice.
38:09 Speaker 00 Would you ever do Celebrity Gladiators?
38:11 Speaker 01 Beckett did it and he said it was one of the best things he's ever done.
38:13 Speaker 00 I know, but I don't, I don't think you can go by what Rob says.
38:15 Speaker 01 I always, a lot of jobs that I look at, I'll get a.
38:18 Speaker 00 Yeah, a lot of people say that your careers mirror each other almost perfectly.
38:21 Speaker 01 No, but Beckett, I think Beckett, Beckett always gives a very honest opinion.
38:24 Speaker 00 He's got a good, he's got a good radar.
38:26 Speaker 01 Yeah, he's got a good gauge.
38:27 Speaker 00 Yeah, sure.
38:27 Speaker 01 And when he did Gladiators, he said it was one of the most fun things he's ever done.
38:30 Speaker 00 Yeah.
38:31 Speaker 01 What would your Gladiator name be?
38:37 Speaker 01 Heartman?
38:37 Speaker 00 No, that was it, I've just done it, that exhale.
38:39 Speaker 01 Really?
38:40 Speaker 00 Uh, no, I, uh, what did you say?
38:43 Speaker 01 Heartman.
38:44 Speaker 00 Heartman?
38:46 Speaker 01 Yeah, like Heartman. Not Heartman, like it's your surname. Not like Romesh Heartman.
38:51 Speaker 00 Right.
38:52 Speaker 01 Like Heartman.
38:53 Speaker 00 Heartman?
38:54 Speaker 01 Yeah. Now coming to the arena, Heartman!
38:58 Speaker 00 I don't think, uh, aren't they supposed to be like, um, like, the names are like.
39:03 Speaker 01 He shows compassion, but takes no mercy.
39:07 Speaker 00 I always, I always say sorry for that kid in Captain Planet who had heart.
39:14 Speaker 00 So what a shit ring to have. One of them's got fire, one of them's got earth, water, wind, heart, you fucking sad little prick.
39:24 Speaker 01 You probably don't need to come on this mission.
39:25 Speaker 00 Yeah, do you know what, actually, we had a look. We've, we've looked at the plan, we don't need heart, turns out.
39:32 Speaker 01 We'll be okay with that, yeah.
39:33 Speaker 00 Do you need the other guys? Yeah, the guy that can create a tornado, yeah, turns out is a bit more useful.
39:39 Speaker 00 The one that produces flame, yeah, we'll be needing them. Somebody that makes people feel a bit sorry for everyone, no, we don't need them, alright?
39:48 Speaker 01 This is a new insight, by the way, on Romesh's new tour, this is about.
39:54 Speaker 01 Such an incredible reference by Captain Planet.
40:00 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, the Heart Man.
40:02 Speaker 00 I think you should be, you could be.
40:04 Speaker 01 The Ogre?
40:05 Speaker 00 Oak.
40:06 Speaker 01 Oak?
40:06 Speaker 00 The Oak.
40:07 Speaker 01 I'll take Oak, yeah.
40:07 Speaker 00 The Oak, like a big mighty tree.
40:09 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's nice, I like that, yeah.
40:11 Speaker 00 And then Brandy Walsh sort of going, oh, okay, will the oak be felled tonight?
40:15 Speaker 01 Yeah.
40:17 Speaker 00 It's about that time, my Jake, could you do us the honours of, very casually dressed on this one? This might be the most casual you've been on a face to face.
40:26 Speaker 01 I'm a little bit worried about doing a Sharon Stone.
40:27 Speaker 00 Oh, you've got underwear on there, right?
40:29 Speaker 01 Yeah, of course, I'm not that bright. It'd be a big move to come here with no pants on.
40:34 Speaker 00 Have you bought more boxer shorts, by the way?
40:35 Speaker 01 Yeah, by the way, I've got absolutely, that's one of the biggest controversies of my life.
40:39 Speaker 00 Surely Catherine agreed with me on this?
40:42 Speaker 01 Look, my whole thing was like, I wash them constantly, they're on a constant cycle.
40:46 Speaker 00 I get it, that's my flex, that you wash your underwear, man. The point is.
40:52 Speaker 01 If I lose a player in a football team, right, if you lose a player, then I bring a couple, bring a couple of players in.
40:57 Speaker 00 Right.
40:57 Speaker 01 Do you know what I mean? But I don't want a pant or a ram for the pants I'm never gonna wear.
41:02 Speaker 00 Got you.
41:02 Speaker 01 I like to keep, I like everyone to feel like, oh, okay, I've got my chance.
41:06 Speaker 00 Sure.
41:07 Speaker 01 You know, that's the thing, but yeah, I have bought some more pants.
41:09 Speaker 00 So how many pants have you got total now, do you think?
41:11 Speaker 01 Uh, I think I'm probably rolling twenty-three, maybe twenty-four.
41:13 Speaker 00 Okay, now it's.
41:14 Speaker 01 I actually got sent some, people were worried about the fact that, you know, I was sort of, yeah.
41:19 Speaker 00 Did Saks send you some?
41:20 Speaker 01 No, Saks didn't, no.
41:22 Speaker 00 No.
41:22 Speaker 01 No. Do you know what, Lululemon, that's a great pant.
41:25 Speaker 00 Are they good?
41:26 Speaker 01 Yeah.
41:26 Speaker 00 Expensive though, aren't they?
41:27 Speaker 01 They're quite chumpy if you buy them, yeah.
41:29 Speaker 00 Yeah.
41:32 Speaker 01 Be good.
41:33 Speaker 00 Lululemon sent you free underwear.
41:35 Speaker 01 Can I say by the way, there's an, no, they didn't send me free ones. I got gifted them. Someone gave them to me. Um, there's actually a millipede pant now that when you fart, it stops the smell of the fart.
41:43 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah, they've got charcoal in the.
41:45 Speaker 01 Yeah.
41:46 Speaker 00 Gussit.
41:46 Speaker 01 That's incredible, right?
41:47 Speaker 00 Yeah, it is incredible.
41:49 Speaker 01 Catherine reminded me, I don't know why, I'm literally about to finish, but Catherine reminded me, on the first time that we went away together, like, uh, our sort of first sort of naughty weekend, I brought charcoal dabbits because of my guffin. And she found them. She was like, what are these for? And I was like, oh, heartburn. And then it's like, years later, I had to tell her that, yeah, just I didn't want to trump in bed.
42:10 Speaker 00 Yeah, I, I had, um, I was in bed with a girl I was seeing.
42:14 Speaker 01 Yeah.
42:15 Speaker 00 And I woke up to find her checking on, inside my underwear. And I said.
42:20 Speaker 01 What, did you still have your underwear on?
42:22 Speaker 00 Yeah, this, we're asleep, we're asleep.
42:24 Speaker 01 She, what, she'd gone under the covers to check inside your underwear?
42:28 Speaker 00 Yeah, so she checked my underwear and I said, what's, I woke up, I said, what's going on? She said, your farts were so smelly, I thought you'd shat yourself.
42:39 Speaker 01 Oh, fucking god. Oh, it's good. Sorry, I know women have, how long have you been going out, this woman?
42:46 Speaker 00 Uh, a few months.
42:47 Speaker 01 A few months. The thought, fuck, the thought that, by the way, we've been doing this for six years and this is, uh, the thought that you're lying in bed with someone who's doing such heinous blow offs, right? That at some point you take the fucking step
43:04 Speaker 01 to get a torch and go, he's gonna shat himself. And peel them back.
43:11 Speaker 00 I got so close to doing this podcast without telling that story. And right before, I've already said, Tom, take us out. And then I've chosen to tell that story.
43:20 Speaker 01 That's one of my favourite ever stories you've told.
43:22 Speaker 00 Okay, go for it.
43:23 Speaker 01 Okay.
43:25 Speaker 01 Where's life? Is it the cherry blossom on the trees that give you hay fever? Or the sunny sun that beats down and makes you sweat? Is it the sand that gets in your toenails and your toes and in your arse cracking? Makes you itch all day? Hey, big fella, what's going on? You're talking about all negative things? Yeah, I guess I am because they're negative to me. But the spin of a dice, it could be someone going, look at that cherry blossom, Agnes. Isn't that beautiful? Oh, ooh, this sun feels nice as I lay there, tanning. Or, hmm, just built the best sand castle ever. Thing is, there's two sides to every coin. There's two sides to every story. What you have to find is a narrative that's your own. I'm not just talking about sand, the sun and cherry blossom.
44:10 Speaker 01 I'm talking about the day to day things that happen. Telling people things that although might feel negative, they're actually positive. Turning around and saying, oh, that lunch sucked, I had a chicken bone in there and it wasn't supposed to be in there. Going, actually, the chicken was delicious. But there was a chicken bone in there. Trying to find the positives in any different situation can make your day go a little bit better. Always looking at the sunny side of the sky instead of the moon and the stars and the night that's coming. Always remembering this. You've got two ways to walk the walk of life. One with a smile and one with a grimace. Try and smile as you can and remember, there's gonna be someone looking for a smiling friend around the corner.
44:55 Speaker 00 Absolutely right. There's always gonna be someone.
45:00 Speaker 01 There we go.
45:00 Speaker 00 That's really good.
45:02 Speaker 01 Yeah, thank you.
45:02 Speaker 00 Really great. Uh, thank you so much for listening to the Wolf and I podcast.
45:06 Speaker 01 By the way, can I just say?
45:07 Speaker 00 Yeah.
45:08 Speaker 01 That I was gonna do, that story's thrown me so, that's insane story to hear at the end of a podcast.
45:13 Speaker 00 Sorry.
45:14 Speaker 01 I don't think there's any way in the world that we can't start the next podcast. That has blown my mind.
45:19 Speaker 00 Checking someone and shat themselves. Did I say at the wrong, did I say at the wrong point of the podcast?
45:23 Speaker 01 Yes, because I've got so many questions.
45:25 Speaker 00 Okay, well.
45:26 Speaker 01 I think this is gonna have to be a part two.
45:28 Speaker 00 Well, join us for the email special where we'll be looking into emails and getting to the bottom of my bottom. See you next time.
45:37 Speaker 01 Like and subscribe. Cheers, guys.
Previous Pet Problems, Bad Neighbours & Forest Etiquette Next Fart Stories, SNL Opinions And Mooning Page updated October 29, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated