Session 91: Renee Rapp Returns

Christianity is to Catholicism what American Eagle is to Abercrombie... Thanks to Cozy Earth for sponsoring this episode! Go to “COZYEARTH. COM/JAKE” for 40% off your first purchase, or use code “JAKE”! Thank you to Booking.com for sponsoring this episode, Find exactly what you’re BOOKING for on Booking.com! Tell Me What's Wrong at ⁠ passthatpuss.com Follow Me! Instagram | @passthatpuss TikTok | @octopusslover8 Follow Renee & Stream "BITE ME" Out Now! https://shop.reneerapp.com/ Listen to "THERAPUSS" Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1BHDdC0OVuHqZ706FobfOF ⁠⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/therapuss-with-jake-shane/id1723626781⁠⁠ Amazon Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/93117357-1f23-46e1-8f26-88f5182a68b8/therapuss-with-jake-shane⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@octopusslover8 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short, and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 0:40Speaker 01

  Hi pussies, welcome back to Therapuss. Tonight, we have on the queen herself, Renee Rapp. Her sophomore album, Bite Me, is out now. It is incredible. And she's just the greatest. She was the second guest I ever had on this podcast and is one of the reasons I am able to do this. Really and truly, I just, I die for her. I love her. And to be able to have her come back on to promote her second album was really, really, really cool. And if you haven't heard the album, you please listen to it. It is unbelievable. She's unbelievable. And yeah, this episode is really funny. It made me laugh. She makes me laugh really, really hard.

• 1:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm really excited for you guys to hear it. To submit Tell Me What's Wrong, go to passthatpuss.com and click Tell Me What's Wrong. Leave a name and number if you're feeling fancy. And enjoy the episode. Love you pussies.

• 1:36Speaker 01

  Hi pussies, welcome back to Therapuss. Today, we have one of my best friends, superstar, incre- I don't even- Take it away Renee Rapp.

• 1:48Speaker 02

  Oh my God, okay, don't mind if I take.

• 1:51Speaker 01

  Take.

• 1:52Speaker 02

  Wait, taking. Taking and talk.

• 1:54Speaker 01

  So last, so Renee, last time I saw you was two days ago.

• 1:59Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 2:02Speaker 02

  How do you feel?

• 2:03Speaker 01

  Not great.

• 2:04Speaker 02

  Me neither.

• 2:05Speaker 01

  But you know what?

• 2:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:06Speaker 01

  There's no better people to blackout around than you and your friends.

• 2:09Speaker 02

  Oh my god, the lesbians do it right.

• 2:12Speaker 01

  Dude, they fucking do it right.

• 2:15Speaker 02

  We sort of do everything really right.

• 2:19Speaker 01

  It was just, like, it was like the safest place to blackout. I woke up, everyone just texted me, "You're good."

• 2:24Speaker 02

  No, like, no sweat.

• 2:26Speaker 01

  And I was like, "Great!" "Great!"

• 2:28Speaker 02

  You wake up the next morning to like a bunch of texts, they're like, "You were amazing last night, by the way."

• 2:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I was like, "Oh my god."

• 2:33Speaker 02

  Girl, that performance was a 10 out of 10, there's Oscar buzz everywhere.

• 2:36Speaker 01

  Everywhere!

• 2:37Speaker 02

  Everywhere, girl!

• 2:38Speaker 01

  Speaking of Oscar buzz, or maybe Grammy buzz.

• 2:41Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 2:42Speaker 01

  Your new album, Bite Me, comes out August 1st.

• 2:44Speaker 02

  Thanks, baby.

• 2:44Speaker 01

  I'm so excited, I just listened to it.

• 2:46Speaker 02

  Thank you. Did you listen to the whole thing?

• 2:48Speaker 01

  The whole thing.

• 2:48Speaker 02

  Oh, okay, you have the whole thing.

• 2:50Speaker 01

  Front to back.

• 2:51Speaker 02

  Oh wait, duh, you have Sometimes.

• 2:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, Sometimes was my favorite. And you were saying, who had to convince you to put that one on?

• 2:58Speaker 02

  So many people. Sometimes was...

• 3:04Speaker 02

  I was like, I really like it, but I wasn't...

• 3:09Speaker 02

  I was like, I don't know. Some songs, like, come to be a part of projects really late, like, which I've found, I guess. And Sometimes was one that, like, had been around for a minute, and I was like, "I mean, I fuck with her, but I don't love her." And then we changed a bunch of the, like, verses. Okay, there's only two, so we changed, like... We changed, like, we changed, like, all seven. We changed some of the verses, and then I started to like it a whole lot more.

• 3:41Speaker 01

  It's really fucking good.

• 3:42Speaker 02

  Thanks, baby.

• 3:43Speaker 01

  The chorus, what I like about it is the chorus goes somewhere that I didn't think it was gonna go.

• 3:47Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 3:47Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? Like, it goes, and then the notes change, and I was like, you know? That's how I felt. And then I listened to it back again, and then I played it for everybody in the house for a third time.

• 3:56Speaker 02

  Love. No, the hook does make you like, "Oh, my clit just jumped."

• 4:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's good.

• 4:04Speaker 01

  And Good Girl, but you said I love Good Girl, because I'm...

• 4:06Speaker 02

  You love Good Girl because you're a straight white woman.

• 4:09Speaker 01

  Yes, I am.

• 4:10Speaker 02

  Like, you at your core is a straight white girl.

• 4:13Speaker 01

  I am.

• 4:13Speaker 02

  You are!

• 4:14Speaker 01

  I am.

• 4:14Speaker 02

  That's totally fine, by the way. I'm about two out of the three.

• 4:18Speaker 01

  Right.

• 4:18Speaker 02

  But I like, when you said I like Good Girl, I was like, "Of course you do." That's like, that's, of course. The straight girls love Good Girl.

• 4:25Speaker 01

  And I do.

• 4:26Speaker 02

  I do too, by the way.

• 4:28Speaker 01

  The album itself is just... Phenomenal.

• 4:31Speaker 02

  Thank you, baby.

• 4:31Speaker 01

  It really is phenomenal.

• 4:33Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 4:33Speaker 01

  Why is she still here? Unbelievable.

• 4:35Speaker 02

  Oh, why is she still here?

• 4:36Speaker 01

  It's just like, fuck, you know how to rock a ballad.

• 4:39Speaker 02

  Thanks, bitch. I really, one thing about me, I love a little ballad.

• 4:43Speaker 01

  Where's that, what, like, how long did the album take to make, though? Like, when did you start working on it, post-Snow Angel?

• 4:51Speaker 02

  We started, like, recording new songs in this, nope, November of 2023.

• 4:59Speaker 01

  Wow, so two years.

• 5:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, two years. Um, long ass process, long ass process, but I also just like, I, you know, well, you know, like, I feel like you understand this, being so close to me, everybody's always like, ooh, wait, like, when are you putting out the next thing? Like, what are you doing next? Like, when's, like, your next song? Like, what's your next da-da-da? I'm like, you bought yourself another fucking six months. Never asked me to put out shit ever again. Which is not that anybody's doing anything wrong. I just hate being told what to do. So it took a long time because I'm stubborn, but it also took a long time because I really, I was like, I don't want to impress anybody but myself.

• 5:41Speaker 01

  Right.

• 5:41Speaker 02

  And so, like, if I'm impressed with it, then I can put it out. Um, cause, like, impressive is like, I think it's, I think it's, it can be easy to do something impressive. It can be easy to sound impressive. It can be easy to, like, make a big, like, singy hook that's fun, or like, something, like, catchy. Obviously, it's hard, but I think it's easier than you actually loving something. That's much harder.

• 6:08Speaker 01

  And do you feel like when everyone was like, well, when's the next thing? You're like, okay, well, now I'm just gonna push it back just to push it back?

• 6:13Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 6:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, it just pisses me off so bad. Not necessarily, like, like, fans of mine, more so just, like, other people being like, okay, and this is what you're gonna do now, and this is what you're gonna do now.

• 6:24Speaker 01

  Right.

• 6:24Speaker 02

  And I'm like, and what are you doing?

• 6:27Speaker 02

  And so what the fuck are you doing? Do you want to write it?

• 6:29Speaker 01

  Right, exactly.

• 6:30Speaker 02

  Do you want to write it? Oh my god, wait, go! How fucking no? How fucking no? So, yeah. It definitely made me a bit stubborn. But again, I did just, I wanted to be so obsessed with what I was doing.

• 6:41Speaker 01

  And you're obsessed with it?

• 6:42Speaker 02

  I'm so obsessed, I love it.

• 6:44Speaker 01

  I love it too.

• 6:45Speaker 02

  I love it. I used to think that was like an egotistical thing to say. To be like, I love my shit. But like, I genuinely, I love this album so much, it's so important to me.

• 6:53Speaker 01

  Who told you that that is an egotistical thing? You're supposed to love your work.

• 6:57Speaker 02

  I guess so.

• 6:58Speaker 01

  Right?

• 6:58Speaker 02

  I just, I never used, contrary to popular belief, I never used to be good at complimenting myself or thinking that anything I was doing was good enough. And I still, as I was just saying, like, I don't feel like anything is good enough, ever. But this is probably the closest I've felt to that.

• 7:13Speaker 01

  Do you, do you, would you remember the final song you put on it? And you were like, it's done?

• 7:20Speaker 02

  Bro, the final song that we put on it was "You'd Like That Wouldn't You"? Because I was like...

• 7:29Speaker 02

  I don't know, we made it when I was in Nashville and it was like the last like writing trip that we took. And I was just kind of like pissed the whole time. Just, I was just depressed and I was like, fuck, I like want to be done with this. But I feel like we need something else. And so then I had that song for...

• 7:46Speaker 02

  Months, bro. And I'd never even heard it. And then Julian sent it to me and was like, this is kind of gas. And I was like, bro, shut up. Like, pack it up, like, no way. And then I was like...

• 8:01Speaker 02

  This is kind of gas. I was like, wait, this is kind of good! So I think that was the last one. And then the last one we wrote was "I Think I Like You Better When You're Gone".

• 8:10Speaker 01

  I love that one. I love the whole album.

• 8:12Speaker 02

  Thanks.

• 8:13Speaker 01

  It's really, really just...

• 8:14Speaker 02

  Thanks, sweetie.

• 8:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:16Speaker 02

  Me too. I'm very, I'm very, um...

• 8:20Speaker 02

  I'm really happy with it. It makes me like excited to go and... Go and like sing it. Like, I actually really enjoy singing the songs that I've made, which is nice.

• 8:29Speaker 01

  So you're excited for tour?

• 8:30Speaker 02

  Definitely excited for tour.

• 8:33Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah. We're depressed on tour, right? You and I.

• 8:40Speaker 01

  I was texting you like it's crash out number four today.

• 8:43Speaker 02

  Of course. And I'm like, yeah, absolutely. Like, it's the most like, it's, you're so incredibly surrounded and you feel so simultaneously lonely.

• 8:52Speaker 01

  I think it's just also like you, I feel like you and I are similar in the sense that like, you are so honest, right? So like, if you are feeling a type away, like you want to get up on stage and just be like, I don't feel good right now.

• 9:07Speaker 02

  I want to kill myself.

• 9:08Speaker 01

  I want to kill myself. I'm mad.

• 9:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:10Speaker 01

  And sometimes on tour, you can't do that.

• 9:13Speaker 02

  Well.

• 9:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, you should, you shouldn't.

• 9:20Speaker 01

  You could.

• 9:21Speaker 02

  I might. I might, I may have an all right again.

• 9:25Speaker 01

  But you know what? I think that's the issue. And it's like, you want to make sure everybody's having fun and happy. And sometimes you feel the weight of everyone wanting to have fun. And you're like, oh, my God. Do I just kill myself?

• 9:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're like, maybe.

• 9:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:38Speaker 02

  Probably even a wire.

• 9:40Speaker 01

  How long is the tour?

• 9:42Speaker 02

  Not that long.

• 9:45Speaker 02

  Not that long.

• 9:45Speaker 01

  But it's big. It's like, it's big.

• 9:48Speaker 02

  Yeah. It's not that long, though. I think it's only a couple of weeks.

• 9:51Speaker 01

  That's not that bad.

• 9:53Speaker 02

  My other, my first tour.

• 9:55Speaker 01

  That was long.

• 9:56Speaker 02

  Bitch.

• 9:56Speaker 01

  That was long.

• 9:58Speaker 02

  I was on the road for about like ages. I was like, oh, God.

• 10:02Speaker 01

  I was like, wait, where's the, they're like on tour. I was like, still?

• 10:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're like, wait, wasn't that like five years ago? You're like, isn't she 30?

• 10:08Speaker 01

  You were on tour.

• 10:08Speaker 02

  I, bitch, I was on tour. But you were on tour.

• 10:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, and.

• 10:11Speaker 02

  Are you even done?

• 10:12Speaker 01

  I'm done.

• 10:13Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 10:13Speaker 01

  I'm done.

• 10:14Speaker 02

  Woo!

• 10:14Speaker 01

  I need a break. And I want to write and live my life.

• 10:17Speaker 02

  I also think touring is a, touring is a talent. Like, you have to have a lot of stamina, mental and physical, to go through tour. Because I think like what you're saying, it's like, you are absolutely allowed to like feel how you, ever you want to fucking feel at every show whilst also knowing that like people are be there. Okay, God bless me. People, no, okay, go, yeah, go off. People are gonna be there and they want, this is maybe their first time seeing you.

• 10:47Speaker 01

  Right.

• 10:48Speaker 02

  So you want to give the best.

• 10:53Speaker 02

  Performance for a concert goer that you possibly can. It's, people also like when you fuck up.

• 11:01Speaker 01

  They do.

• 11:02Speaker 02

  So that's my point being is like, people like when you bring some bullshit to the table.

• 11:06Speaker 01

  Right.

• 11:07Speaker 02

  I, the worst shows of mine somehow internally somehow always end up being someone's favorite. And somebody's like, oh my God, I absolutely love that show. I'm like, interesting. I was like really considering taking myself out with a rifle two minutes before. I'm so glad that you had fun, but genuinely I am glad you had fun. I was like, how on God's green did you?

• 11:26Speaker 01

  Enjoy that.

• 11:26Speaker 02

  Enjoy that.

• 11:27Speaker 01

  Right.

• 11:28Speaker 02

  But that's like, okay, take it. People like when you fuck up. People like when you're like.

• 11:32Speaker 01

  See, that's, the opposites happen to me. I've left the stage and been like, that's bad. And somebody will DM me and be like, rough one.

• 11:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, but also like,

• 11:43Speaker 02

  I'm sure that people are doing that to me too. I just don't look.

• 11:46Speaker 01

  Right, okay.

• 11:47Speaker 02

  Ayo.

• 11:48Speaker 01

  Right.

• 11:49Speaker 02

  I just don't look at that shit. Cause if I see it, then.

• 11:52Speaker 01

  Out of sight, out of mind.

• 11:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:54Speaker 01

  Are there any songs that you're retiring from last tour that people are gonna be like pissed off about?

• 12:00Speaker 02

  Oh my God.

• 12:01Speaker 01

  Cause you would.

• 12:02Speaker 02

  No, of course, of course. I would and I will. I, um, damn man, I don't know.

• 12:13Speaker 02

  I feel like I always say too well is done for and then I bring it back.

• 12:17Speaker 01

  You hate that one.

• 12:17Speaker 02

  I hate that fucking song.

• 12:18Speaker 01

  Why? I love that song.

• 12:20Speaker 02

  It's so like, uh, to me. It's just like, I don't know. It's so like, uh, yeah, like, uh.

• 12:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:26Speaker 02

  I don't know, but I, that was never my favorite. That was never my favorite song.

• 12:32Speaker 02

  The only fun part about it now is that people know how much I dislike it.

• 12:37Speaker 01

  Right. So you go like, this is the worst. I hate this song.

• 12:39Speaker 02

  Yeah. And then they're like, ah.

• 12:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, cause they know what you're gonna do.

• 12:42Speaker 02

  Oh my God, she fucking hates it. Well, this is my moment to shine.

• 12:44Speaker 01

  Right, right.

• 12:45Speaker 02

  And right you are.

• 12:46Speaker 01

  Right.

• 12:46Speaker 02

  Right you are. But I don't know. I'll prob, I, I don't know. I don't know, man. Everybody's like, what's this checklist for tour? Like, what are you thinking? I'm like, I fucking know. I don't fucking know.

• 12:57Speaker 01

  Have you started rehearsals?

• 12:58Speaker 02

  Absolutely not.

• 12:59Speaker 01

  Of course. And cheers to that.

• 13:02Speaker 02

  Absolutely not.

• 13:03Speaker 01

  Absolutely. And when does tour start? September?

• 13:05Speaker 02

  Uh, yeah, I think it's, oh, no, I know when it starts. It's my best friend's birthday, September 23rd.

• 13:09Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 13:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:11Speaker 01

  Where? LA? Where does it start?

• 13:12Speaker 02

  Colorado.

• 13:13Speaker 01

  Great. I love Colorado.

• 13:15Speaker 02

  I love Colorado.

• 13:17Speaker 01

  Are you going to Seattle at all? Seattle was my favorite stop on tour.

• 13:22Speaker 02

  I'm like, whoa, I'm confused. Have you never seen me do that?

• 13:25Speaker 01

  Whoa.

• 13:27Speaker 02

  I do it a lot.

• 13:29Speaker 01

  That is intense.

• 13:30Speaker 02

  It's like, ooh, let me take a beat. Oh, but I, yeah, it is drawing, I'm sure, to the naked eye.

• 13:37Speaker 01

  I wish I could do something like that. You have gorgeous eyes.

• 13:39Speaker 02

  Thank you, sweetie. So do you.

• 13:40Speaker 01

  Thank you. It's my favorite part about myself.

• 13:43Speaker 02

  Isn't it your eyes? You do have a really good eye.

• 13:45Speaker 01

  Thank you so much.

• 13:45Speaker 02

  But you know what you have, dare I say even better?

• 13:48Speaker 01

  What?

• 13:49Speaker 02

  Brows. You have such a nice eyebrow.

• 13:51Speaker 01

  I used to take razors when I was a kid and shave the middle of my brow and break out.

• 13:55Speaker 02

  Naturally, so did I.

• 13:56Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 13:57Speaker 02

  But no, you have a really nice brow. It's like a honey blonde.

• 14:00Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 14:01Speaker 02

  Loving it.

• 14:02Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 14:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, loving it.

• 14:03Speaker 01

  What is Toa's favorite on the album?

• 14:05Speaker 02

  Toa's favorite? Okay, I don't know. No, it's probably At Least I'm Hot.

• 14:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, I love that one.

• 14:13Speaker 02

  Given her star moment. Um, I don't know. Toa's favorite is Why Is She Still Here?

• 14:22Speaker 01

  I love that one.

• 14:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, no, yeah.

• 14:27Speaker 01

  Speaking of that song, how did you perform Sunday?

• 14:30Speaker 02

  Oh my God, because we were out the night before.

• 14:31Speaker 01

  Yes, and Julia was like, Renee has this acoustic set at the Nice Guy. I looked at Julia and I said, "Sorry?"

• 14:38Speaker 02

  Right.

• 14:38Speaker 01

  We were out till 5 a.m.

• 14:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:41Speaker 01

  And you did it.

• 14:42Speaker 02

  I mean, it was at 8 the next night at least, but I was shaking like a whore in church. I was shaking like a whore in church. Yeah, I was definitely, uh, DB. I was DB. But I actually, no, you know, I come to think, I don't know how I did that. I wear sunglasses when I perform a lot.

• 14:59Speaker 01

  Right. Do you like, do you, do you feel like, like, well, I was about to say, I don't think you ever had stage fright. I was like, because you grew up on the stage.

• 15:09Speaker 02

  I have had, I actually, well, interestingly enough, I was really nervous on Sunday, but I think that was just me being hungover. Or it could have been the fact that I just hadn't, like, sang any of those songs before.

• 15:24Speaker 01

  Right.

• 15:26Speaker 02

  Which was maybe it, because I feel like also this album is like much harder vocally for me than the other one.

• 15:32Speaker 01

  It's, you go on runs.

• 15:34Speaker 02

  Yes, there are like a lot of tiny little like acrobatics and intricacies that I don't, I didn't have in my first album, which I think my first album was like louder and higher and bigger and more of these like singy hooks. And this is, um, smaller in a way, the hooks are smaller, which I think is actually more difficult.

• 15:51Speaker 01

  But they're a little more intricate?

• 15:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, definitely, definitely. So I'm like, I'm thinking.

• 15:56Speaker 01

  Right.

• 15:56Speaker 02

  I'm fucking thinking.

• 15:57Speaker 01

  It's like you're going on these runs, but they're softer, which sounds to me harder.

• 16:02Speaker 02

  Oh no, it's a hundred percent harder.

• 16:03Speaker 01

  Was it hard to record?

• 16:05Speaker 02

  Oh, death was on my mind every, every fucking, every fucking day.

• 16:09Speaker 01

  Right, absolutely.

• 16:10Speaker 02

  Death was on my mind every day. I like, I was like, woo, we just, we did, we cut every song so many times. Every song saw so many different, e- e- every key that you could even possibly think of in music. Jesus fucking Mary and Joseph, it was everything, everything. So yes, it was literally so hard to record.

• 16:33Speaker 01

  You know what moment I remember you that you knew you were in over your head?

• 16:36Speaker 02

  What?

• 16:36Speaker 01

  Do you know what I'm gonna say?

• 16:37Speaker 02

  No, I don't know.

• 16:38Speaker 01

  The beach trip.

• 16:39Speaker 02

  Beach trip?

• 16:41Speaker 01

  Tell her how the baby.

• 16:43Speaker 02

  Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, that was everything, that was everything.

• 16:47Speaker 01

  You called me tweaking, tweaking. I know, and I just brought you back there.

• 16:53Speaker 02

  I'm having heart palpitations thinking about it. That was fucking crazy.

• 16:57Speaker 01

  Yes, I was like, oh, she's down bad.

• 16:59Speaker 02

  No, I was like, this is...

• 17:01Speaker 01

  And she wouldn't text you back?

• 17:02Speaker 02

  No, she was, she was playing with my fucking mind.

• 17:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, she wouldn't text you back.

• 17:06Speaker 02

  I was like, I'm sorry, we just held a newborn together. What's your fucking prob- I was like, oh my god, I love you. Hello? I was like, wait. And now I'm like seeing you hold a fucking kid on the beach and I'm about six months pregnant myself. And biologically, how? His grace, bitch. His grace. I was so whacked out. I forgot about-

• 17:28Speaker 01

  I know, and I'm really happy I could just bring you back to that feeling.

• 17:31Speaker 02

  Oh my god. Leave it to a baby.

• 17:35Speaker 01

  Right?

• 17:35Speaker 02

  Woo, leave it to a baby.

• 17:37Speaker 01

  I remember the photo too.

• 17:38Speaker 02

  I'm light-headed. I'm thinking of the photo.

• 17:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:41Speaker 02

  I was like, wait, we look so good with a kid together. Are you trying to make one?

• 17:44Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 17:47Speaker 02

  Let's try harder, but we're almost there.

• 17:48Speaker 01

  We're almost there.

• 17:49Speaker 02

  Almost there, yeah. Whoa, I was whacked the fuck out.

• 17:53Speaker 01

  And then, and then it just, all I remember is, I called you and you were like, yeah, we're together.

• 17:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was like, I was like, no, no, no. So we like, we gave in.

• 18:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, we gave in.

• 18:01Speaker 02

  We gave in. We gave in, because I was so anxious.

• 18:04Speaker 01

  You were so anxious. You were so much, okay, you're gonna laugh at me. I think you are so much less anxious now than you were a year and a half ago.

• 18:10Speaker 02

  Oh no, I'm, I will not laugh at you. I could not fucking agree more.

• 18:14Speaker 01

  You were so, not, I mean, like, I was so anxious as well too, but like, you were, like, you were so much less anxious than you were.

• 18:21Speaker 02

  I hated being alive, genuinely. Like, genuinely hated being alive. Like, every single day, I was like, damn.

• 18:29Speaker 02

  I don't really think I like this at all, which is so sad.

• 18:33Speaker 01

  Right.

• 18:33Speaker 02

  And, like, genuinely so scary, and like, especially for you and I, like, I think we do a really good job, the two of us, of, of making everything like hee-hee.

• 18:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course.

• 18:42Speaker 02

  And laughing it off.

• 18:43Speaker 01

  Because that's how we deal.

• 18:44Speaker 02

  Of course, because what else are we gonna do?

• 18:46Speaker 01

  Right.

• 18:46Speaker 02

  Like, just sit and stare at a wall, probably.

• 18:48Speaker 01

  Probably.

• 18:48Speaker 02

  We might. But, um, yeah, like, there was, oh my god. It was like, really...

• 18:56Speaker 02

  Like, I was white-knuckling every fucking day, second hour, everything. I was like, yo, I...

• 19:07Speaker 02

  There was, you're gonna laugh, because of course I'm making kind of a joke out of this. There was a line in Mr. Robot last night that I like, I like, looked at Toa and I was like... That is so accurate. It was like, it's something that, um, the drug dealer says to, uh, Elliot, where he's like, "You have no idea what it's like to hate someone until you hate yourself so much."

• 19:32Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, I remember that line.

• 19:33Speaker 02

  And I was like...

• 19:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, like there's nothing, like no matter what kind of conflict or anything you get into with, with anybody, hating yourself and hating being alive is the pinnacle of hatred and sadness. I was so insanely down bad. And it's not to say that like, I'm not like, you know, still anxious and like such a tweaker now because I definitely am, but like, I definitely am so much happier. Yeah, there's, there's really, there's no hate, like hating yourself, just period. There's no hate, like hating yourself. That's the most deep, deeply rooted kind of bitch.

• 20:21Speaker 02

  But yeah.

• 20:21Speaker 01

  How did you feel yourself like get out of it? Like, what did you do to take yourself out of that?

• 20:27Speaker 02

  I mostly just started realizing that like,

• 20:32Speaker 02

  well, okay, first shift was like, I started enjoying my personal life more than I enjoyed, more than I enjoyed my work life. I started being like, wait, I have amazing friends who love me and make me happy. I started being like, wait, I can take a vacation? No way.

• 20:52Speaker 01

  Right.

• 20:52Speaker 02

  Oh, that's amazing. I started having a partner who didn't take advantage of me, wanted me to win, loved being around me, loved supporting me for no benefit of her own. And also isn't like secretly keeping me from my personal life and all of my friends. And also who isn't like preying on my downfall? Wow.

• 21:20Speaker 01

  Right.

• 21:20Speaker 02

  That makes a fucking massive difference. And then also I just started being like, damn, no one is ever gonna look out for me the way I'm gonna look out for myself. So why am I listening to so many people that will never value my life?

• 21:36Speaker 02

  As I value my own.

• 21:37Speaker 01

  Right.

• 21:39Speaker 02

  And I stopped listening.

• 21:41Speaker 01

  Like, like, everybody's like, you used to take everybody's input like so heavily and then you're like, wait, stop?

• 21:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was just like, I don't, I don't want to impress you. I want to impress myself. Also, like, you know, it's no matter, like, you are, I think it's very easy, especially in like entertainment, to feel like everyone else kind of has control over your life.

• 22:03Speaker 01

  Right.

• 22:03Speaker 02

  Like, I didn't feel like I had any control over my life, even though I think I was probably acting like it. I'd be like, damn, I'm so sad. I don't want to do this. Or, oh, my God, I'm so burnt out and I'm so tired. I don't want to do this. And somebody'd be like, oh, my God, well, like, just like, say no. And I'd be like, no, I like, I don't want to say no.

• 22:20Speaker 01

  Right.

• 22:21Speaker 02

  Obviously, I want to work. But truth be told, I did want to say no. I just felt like I like, couldn't, and I had to do everything. And I just started being like, damn, like, my life is so much more full without me bending over backwards for bitches who don't give a fuck about me.

• 22:35Speaker 01

  Right.

• 22:36Speaker 02

  Whoa, my life is so much more full if I'm not trying to appease Tom, Dick and fucking Harry.

• 22:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:41Speaker 02

  Like, I don't care.

• 22:43Speaker 01

  Also, I feel like at the place you were in your career, like, you felt like you had to say yes and do absolutely everything, or else it was gonna go away.

• 22:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:50Speaker 01

  Because it was so new.

• 22:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:52Speaker 01

  And now it's like, now I'm here.

• 22:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, now I'm like, ah, girl, take it or leave it. I don't, come on now. I like, like, literally take it or leave it. It's, it is all good. Again, like, I'm doing things to impress myself now.

• 23:07Speaker 01

  And you know what? That's fucking awesome.

• 23:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:09Speaker 01

  And congratulations.

• 23:10Speaker 02

  Thanks, sweetheart.

• 23:11Speaker 01

  I love you.

• 23:12Speaker 02

  Thank you. I love you.

• 23:13Speaker 01

  You make me so happy.

• 23:15Speaker 02

  I can't tell you how happy I get every time that I see you and whenever you come out with us. It's like a breath of fresh air.

• 23:22Speaker 01

  You're mommy to me.

• 23:23Speaker 02

  You're my baby. And like, I, we hate boys, but I like, absolutely need you there. Like, I need water.

• 23:31Speaker 01

  Me, Julianne Payton have our best nights with you.

• 23:34Speaker 02

  I gotta say, I agree.

• 23:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:38Speaker 02

  I gotta say, I agree, because also our nights are infinitely better when you guys are there. We're always so excited. Yes.

• 23:43Speaker 01

  It is the best, and you know you are my lucky charm for catching a dick.

• 23:48Speaker 02

  Come on.

• 23:49Speaker 01

  Have been, always will.

• 23:50Speaker 02

  Which is so insane to me, because I'm like, what the fuck about me is attracting dick?

• 23:55Speaker 01

  It's the antithesis.

• 23:56Speaker 02

  Ayo. It's so crazy.

• 23:59Speaker 01

  But it works for me. I don't know what it is. Every time. You know what? I think you make me feel so good and confident that I'm just like...

• 24:07Speaker 02

  That it brings it in.

• 24:08Speaker 01

  That it brings it in.

• 24:08Speaker 02

  That actually fully tracks. Because one thing about it, we are not, um... We're not going out to like, look cute and have fun and be seen. Actually, we're trying to maybe not do that.

• 24:22Speaker 01

  Right.

• 24:23Speaker 02

  We're trying to be seen as little as we possibly can, because we're dancing on tables on crutches.

• 24:30Speaker 01

  Is she okay?

• 24:31Speaker 02

  No, she's not okay. No, she's fine. She's fine. She's fine. She like, God bless her.

• 24:36Speaker 01

  I kept saying, "Where's Toa? Where's Toa?" And Renee said, "Oh, you haven't heard? Look for the crutches."

• 24:40Speaker 02

  Literally, look for the crutches. She sat in the corner like, "Babe, get up."

• 24:47Speaker 01

  Do you guys know that one place in your home that you just think about all day? For me, it is my bed. And I don't know if you guys know, but I recently moved into a new room, and I got a new bed, and so I needed new sheets and new blankets and new pillows. And I got them all from Cozy Earth. I got bamboo sheets, and they are the softest sheets I've ever had in my entire life. I literally, I'm not even kidding, the entire day I spend thinking about my bed, I never want to leave my bed. I just, it's like one of those things where it's like, I can't believe I used to not sleep in these sheets. Do you know what I, it's like, and I'm being so serious, and like, I really have never felt this way about a bed before.

• 25:30Speaker 01

  It's the bamboo sheets and the duvet and the duvet insert. Like, they have everything to make your perfect bed. Not only that, but they also have loungewear. So they have hoodies, they have t-shirts, they have pants. So like, think about it, like, a bedding company making clothes, like, obviously, they're gonna be comfortable. Do you know what I mean? Like, you're, you're wearing a bed. I do have a 40% off discount code. It is right here. You can use it. I'll also put it in the description. Trust me, it is worth it. I bought my sheets the other day, and I'm now, while I'm telling you this, realizing I had a 40% off code that I forgot to use for my own sheets. So I'm honestly a little frustrated, so please use it for me.

• 26:10Speaker 01

  And Cozy Earth knows that, like, picking bedding is very difficult, and it is a really important decision. So they have an 100-night sleep trial. If you do not like it, you can return it free of charge. So head to cozylearth.com and use my code for 40% off. Thank you, Cozy Earth, for sponsoring tonight's episode.

• 26:29Speaker 01

  This episode of Therapist is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking dot, yeah! We are approaching Labor Day weekend, which means last-minute vacations are about to happen. And if you are dealing with a big group, you know that everybody has different needs for where they want to stay. Lucky for you, Booking.com makes that easy. You can put in exactly what everybody wants, and you can find the perfect room, or vacation rental, or wherever it is you need to stay. Like, when I was, I always tell the story, but when I was on tour, we would come to a city. We wouldn't know where we're staying, and it was a big group, and we would all have, like, some would want walking, some would want a tub, some would want, you know what I mean? And Matt would have to put it all in morning of, because he would forget to book it.

• 27:10Speaker 01

  But we would never worry, because Booking.com would immediately show us something that was perfect for everyone. You can also rent cars on it, like, you can really round out your vacation. And it's, it just makes going on vacation so easy, when going on vacation can become so daunting. Everybody's idea of vacation is different, so when you're able to put everyone's needs into one thing, and everybody can get what they want, going on vacation becomes easier. Find exactly what you're booking for on Booking.com. Booking dot, yeah!

• 27:44Speaker 02

  You know what, can I be so honest? So many people have been asking me about it.

• 27:48Speaker 01

  About Buddy?

• 27:49Speaker 02

  Yeah. So many people have been asking me about it.

• 27:52Speaker 01

  And you're like, "I just don't know or care."

• 27:54Speaker 02

  I'm like, "What on God's green earth?" I'm like, "Ho."

• 27:58Speaker 01

  That's one of my favorite moments of you of all time.

• 28:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's very, it's very, it was jarring for me to see those interviews back. Because I was so, there's really nothing like a movie press cycle. There is nothing like a movie press cycle. It is, it's kind of crazy, I gotta be honest. Like, you sit in one room for like, eight hours, and like, the lights are so bright, and you're just kind of sat there, and you've also just been doing like, so, so much. And it's not that I would've said anything differently had I had a break. However, I like, yeah, it's, it's like, it's just like, you know, it's like looking at, at someone who is like, "This is my 18th interview of the day,

• 28:44Speaker 02

  and you've asked me something that I actually have a lot to say about, and now you're gonna hear it, and I'm really not sorry about it."

• 28:53Speaker 01

  Good for you.

• 28:54Speaker 02

  Literally at all, I gotta be honest. I just, I just, I just, if you're a man and you're gonna say some bullshit, please expect me to come back with fast fucking fists.

• 29:06Speaker 01

  Right.

• 29:07Speaker 02

  Please expect to get your shit rocked. I don't understand it. I'm like, "If you wanted to go and fuck with little bo people, go and do it, but like, that's not me."

• 29:16Speaker 01

  Right.

• 29:18Speaker 02

  That's not me.

• 29:18Speaker 01

  Never has been.

• 29:19Speaker 02

  No, so why? Why, I'm like, "You should've picked somebody else."

• 29:22Speaker 01

  Right.

• 29:23Speaker 02

  Pick somebody else to pick on. I beg you, there's plenty of bitches. Pick somebody else to pick on, it's not me.

• 29:28Speaker 01

  And he, yeah.

• 29:30Speaker 02

  It's not me.

• 29:32Speaker 01

  Are you ready for me to ask you what I know is your favorite question?

• 29:35Speaker 02

  Oh my God, please.

• 29:36Speaker 01

  What are you therapist about?

• 29:39Speaker 02

  God, what am I therapist about? Fucking motherfucking bullshit. I know it's something. I know it's something. No, I've actually been really happy recently. Oh, let's go. No, of course not, bitch.

• 29:52Speaker 02

  What am I pissed about recently? Or what am I therapist about recently, shall I say? Okay. Let me think of a good one, because there's so many. They just like pop up like, um, that, okay, they pop up like something. What pops? Puss. Puss. Um, something I'm pissed about recently.

• 30:14Speaker 02

  Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. There's so many. Give me like two seconds. Let me just sift through everything in my brain. I used to really just let it rip. I know. I used to really let it rip. I'm trying to be thoughtful. I'm trying to be thoughtful. God bless my mother. She's like, please, I don't want to deal with any more like suing threats. I'm like, ah, fuck it. No, I'm thinking about it. But you're gonna have to AOK this one. Okay. This is something you're gonna have to AOK. Why?

• 30:46Speaker 02

  You know what I'm therapist about? What? You can cut this if you, if you're not okay with it. Fuck me. You can cut this if you're not okay with it. Who the fuck was that man the other night trying to get your friend in the car? Oh, my God! I was like, wow, like, why are we sat here? Do you remember that? Yes, I remember just you and me going up to the car and me being like- Saying you have to leave. Being like, you have to go. Like, what's going on? Like, you have to leave. Why are you, like, you're tall, leave. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. And like, God bless her. God bless her. She's such a cutie. But I was like, we've got bigger fish to fry, certainly, right? Right.

• 31:30Speaker 02

  That, that was therapist, but that was theraphunny. That was theraphunny. That was so funny, because you walking up to the car, like, literally all like five feet of you, like this.

• 31:43Speaker 02

  Shuffle. And then you're like, window down. Window down. Window down.

• 31:50Speaker 02

  Hi, what's going on?

• 31:54Speaker 02

  And I was creasing, bro. I'm creasing. And you're like, you have to leave. You have to leave. Like, I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. You have to leave. You have to leave. I'm done.

• 32:07Speaker 01

  I did this.

• 32:08Speaker 02

  I was like, that is... That's my baby. She's iconic. No, I was like, that is so fucking good. That's so fucking good.

• 32:16Speaker 01

  I did use that.

• 32:17Speaker 02

  Yeah. No, that was awesome. And then before that, there was my, my first, here's how I got there. Right before that, the, the B to that C, shall I say, was we didn't have any tequila. We just had mezcal. And I don't like mezcal.

• 32:30Speaker 01

  I hate mezcal.

• 32:30Speaker 02

  Why are we shooting mezcal like freaks? Okay. I was, I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't like mezcal and I don't like vodka shots. And so that was my B. And then my A was when we were out. And there was this lady who was, I'm sure, probably really drunk, whatever, whatever, you know.

• 32:48Speaker 02

  And we, when we were sitting in like the thing outside, there were just like, there were purses outside. But like, I didn't know who was sitting there. And so we sat like next to the purses and like she, some lady like came over and gave Isabel like attitude for us like sitting near where the purses were. I was like, bitch, no one wants your fucking little like fucking Louis Vuitton bag. Get the fuck out of here. I was like, nobody's coming to jack your shit, Madame Capri. Get the fuck out of here. That pissed me off. So that was my A to B to C.

• 33:18Speaker 01

  And that was so beautiful.

• 33:20Speaker 02

  I'm sorry to take you on that journey.

• 33:21Speaker 01

  No, that was an amazing journey to, to be on.

• 33:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:26Speaker 01

  God, you are so funny.

• 33:27Speaker 02

  I, I couldn't, couldn't be more obsessed with you.

• 33:30Speaker 01

  I love you.

• 33:31Speaker 02

  I love you very bad.

• 33:32Speaker 01

  Are you ready to do the tell me what's wrongs?

• 33:35Speaker 02

  Girl.

• 33:36Speaker 01

  I know you are.

• 33:37Speaker 02

  Girl, believe you me.

• 33:40Speaker 01

  My boyfriend said, you remind me of my dog.

• 33:42Speaker 02

  First problem right there, boyfriend.

• 33:44Speaker 01

  I knew it.

• 33:45Speaker 02

  Yeah. Sorry, go ahead. I didn't interrupt you.

• 33:47Speaker 01

  My boyfriend said, you remind me of my dog. I meant it as a compliment.

• 33:52Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 33:54Speaker 01

  I don't know what that means.

• 33:55Speaker 02

  He just called you a bitch, by the way.

• 33:56Speaker 01

  Right?

• 33:57Speaker 02

  Like, that's literally him calling you a bitch.

• 33:59Speaker 01

  So move on.

• 34:01Speaker 02

  Um,

• 34:03Speaker 02

  can we be real for a second?

• 34:06Speaker 02

  There is such thing as an ugly dog.

• 34:11Speaker 01

  And you know what? You're right.

• 34:12Speaker 02

  We gotta stop playing like the ugly dogs are cute.

• 34:15Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 34:16Speaker 02

  We gotta stop playing. Sometimes that bitch is ugly. So take a peek at the dog.

• 34:22Speaker 01

  Right.

• 34:22Speaker 02

  First. And um, second of all, he just called you a bitch. But if that is like a white crusty dog, then like, you need to, you need to let that hoe go.

• 34:32Speaker 01

  Right. Remind you of your dog.

• 34:36Speaker 02

  You agree that like dogs can be ugly. Just like,

• 34:38Speaker 01

  Of course I agree.

• 34:39Speaker 02

  Let's say it. Babies can be ugly.

• 34:41Speaker 01

  And Renee, that was on the tip of my tongue.

• 34:43Speaker 02

  Sorry.

• 34:44Speaker 01

  That was on the tip of my tongue. And it's like, how awkward when someone shows you a baby and you're like,

• 34:48Speaker 02

  Fugly.

• 34:49Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 34:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, hate it. Hate it. I, and trust me, I'm seeing him.

• 34:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:54Speaker 02

  I'm seeing him. My friend has an ugly baby.

• 34:57Speaker 01

  They do?

• 34:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:58Speaker 01

  And have you told them like, this baby is ugly?

• 35:01Speaker 02

  No, I just don't really go around it. I'm hoping that in, in some later years, you know, I, by the way, I was ugly when I first came out.

• 35:10Speaker 01

  You were?

• 35:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:11Speaker 01

  You've never been ugly.

• 35:12Speaker 02

  No, no, I, when I was first born, I was overcooked, red and crispy. Cause I came out about a month late.

• 35:17Speaker 01

  I thought you meant as fucking lesbian.

• 35:18Speaker 02

  No.

• 35:21Speaker 02

  When I came out, I was being fine as fuck. No.

• 35:24Speaker 01

  I was like, you looked really good when you came out as lesbian.

• 35:27Speaker 02

  Pretty sure I've known you for a while.

• 35:29Speaker 01

  What are you talking about?

• 35:31Speaker 02

  No, when I came out, like boom.

• 35:33Speaker 01

  Got it.

• 35:34Speaker 02

  Um, yeah, I wasn't cute at first. Going to myself, right? There's hope. I'm not saying there's not hope.

• 35:40Speaker 01

  But like if the baby's ugly, I think it's good if the parents are just like, I know.

• 35:44Speaker 02

  Ugly babies, ugly dogs, leado.

• 35:48Speaker 01

  That was biblical, what you just said.

• 35:50Speaker 02

  Yeah. I saw it in Bible. Saw it in the Bible. Read it there. You know, they were fucking on each other. Everybody.

• 35:58Speaker 01

  I think so too.

• 35:59Speaker 02

  Bethlehem bitch, come on.

• 36:00Speaker 01

  What's Bethlehem?

• 36:01Speaker 02

  That's gotta be where Jesus lived.

• 36:05Speaker 01

  I don't know anything.

• 36:06Speaker 02

  Can I be honest? I actually don't either, but I know a couple of names. Jesus, Adam, Eve, Mary, God.

• 36:12Speaker 01

  Joseph.

• 36:13Speaker 02

  Hmm. Is God Jesus? Can we settle this once and for all?

• 36:19Speaker 02

  Is God Jesus? Somebody tell me yes or no.

• 36:21Speaker 01

  No, so basically, I don't know who God is. I thought Moses and Jesus were the same people. They are not.

• 36:29Speaker 02

  Moses is a saint.

• 36:31Speaker 01

  I don't know who it is. All I know is that Jesus.

• 36:40Speaker 01

  I don't know who God is.

• 36:41Speaker 02

  The three blind mice are at Christmas, the three blind mice, but they're not three blind mice. It's like three, they bring Mer and Moses and Frank.

• 36:50Speaker 01

  Wise men.

• 36:50Speaker 02

  Wise men, right, not the three blind mice.

• 36:54Speaker 01

  It's like, wait.

• 36:55Speaker 02

  I was like, there's kind of three blind mice somewhere.

• 36:57Speaker 01

  So God...

• 37:00Speaker 02

  Is God Jesus's dad, biological by the way?

• 37:03Speaker 01

  Well, no, because God and Mary never did the deed. It was immaculate conception.

• 37:08Speaker 02

  I'm so over that. I'm so over that. The only immaculate conception you can have is if you're gay.

• 37:14Speaker 01

  Agreed.

• 37:16Speaker 02

  Uh, okay, so God's not Jesus.

• 37:18Speaker 01

  I don't think so.

• 37:20Speaker 02

  And did they have an ugly baby?

• 37:23Speaker 01

  I've never seen Jesus as a baby.

• 37:25Speaker 02

  Me neither.

• 37:25Speaker 01

  But I know that the baby doll that they have at all the like Christian parties are cute.

• 37:29Speaker 02

  Oh my God, like mangers.

• 37:31Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 37:31Speaker 02

  They have, my dad actually has a manger.

• 37:33Speaker 01

  Really?

• 37:33Speaker 02

  I think my dad's Catholic.

• 37:35Speaker 01

  What, now what's the difference there?

• 37:40Speaker 02

  Isn't it like American Eagle versus like Abercrombie? Kind of the same thing, huh?

• 37:46Speaker 01

  You are so smart.

• 37:49Speaker 01

  It's crazy.

• 37:50Speaker 02

  Dare I say? It's gotta be.

• 37:52Speaker 01

  It's crazy.

• 37:53Speaker 02

  But it's not eriostal American Apparel. Do you know what I'm saying? It's much closer to Abercrombie American Eagle.

• 37:59Speaker 01

  They're like close.

• 38:00Speaker 02

  Yes, I think they're scissoring even.

• 38:03Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 38:03Speaker 02

  Yeah. I don't even remember the question we just answered.

• 38:07Speaker 01

  Neither do I.

• 38:10Speaker 01

  My sister's boyfriend talks in a baby voice around us.

• 38:13Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 38:13Speaker 01

  And I want to throw myself into traffic every time.

• 38:16Speaker 02

  Oh, okay. Just let, uh... Let them be. I think that everyone in a relationship kinda does that. I think we act like it doesn't happen, but it does.

• 38:30Speaker 01

  It happens.

• 38:31Speaker 02

  Right?

• 38:32Speaker 01

  I've, well, I'm asking, like, I've never, still, never been in a relationship, in case anyone was wondering.

• 38:37Speaker 02

  You're, you're avoiding...

• 38:39Speaker 01

  I know.

• 38:39Speaker 02

  You're avoiding harm. That's okay.

• 38:41Speaker 01

  I know.

• 38:42Speaker 02

  You're avoiding harm. You don't need to be until you like, really like, find a good person to be in a relationship with, because let me tell you, bitch, I did some test runs, not worth it.

• 38:50Speaker 01

  Right?

• 38:51Speaker 02

  Woo, not worth it.

• 38:53Speaker 01

  Right.

• 38:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:57Speaker 02

  What was the question?

• 38:58Speaker 01

  I don't know, something about a baby voice?

• 39:01Speaker 02

  Oh, I guess if it's a guy and he's doing it, pack that shit up.

• 39:06Speaker 01

  Right, but if it's a girl, it's fine.

• 39:07Speaker 02

  If it's a girl, it's kind of okay.

• 39:09Speaker 01

  That's always what I say at my shows.

• 39:10Speaker 02

  That's usually just kind of like bible for everything.

• 39:13Speaker 01

  That's always what I say at my shows. My best friend's girlfriend winked at me, and I haven't stopped thinking about it for three weeks.

• 39:23Speaker 02

  Is the question like, should I fuck on her, or no?

• 39:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think.

• 39:26Speaker 02

  Okay, um, what do you think?

• 39:30Speaker 01

  Like, how close is the best friend?

• 39:32Speaker 02

  What, my best friend's girlfriend? Hang on, this is like doing the alphabet backwards. My best friend's girlfriend...

• 39:38Speaker 01

  Winked at me? I think they're saying like, my best friend's girlfriend is like flirting with me, and I want to know.

• 39:42Speaker 02

  Side note, do you know that I can do the alphabet backwards?

• 39:45Speaker 01

  Right now.

• 39:45Speaker 02

  Z Y X W V U T S R Q P O N M L K J I H G F E D C B A. So my best friend's girlfriend winked at me.

• 39:53Speaker 01

  How did you do that?

• 39:55Speaker 02

  Science. Believe science.

• 39:57Speaker 01

  How did you? When did you learn that?

• 39:59Speaker 02

  Just like believing science, and like covid, I was like, wait. You have to believe scientists.

• 40:06Speaker 01

  You really do. And no one does anymore.

• 40:10Speaker 02

  No one believes science, except for me.

• 40:13Speaker 01

  And thank god for that.

• 40:15Speaker 02

  Yeah. My best friend's girlfriend...

• 40:19Speaker 02

  It's Jesus.

• 40:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's probably Jesus.

• 40:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, it depends on how close the best friend is, and also...

• 40:29Speaker 02

  In a way, I'm winking at people.

• 40:32Speaker 01

  I knew you were gonna, because you do, you're a winker.

• 40:34Speaker 02

  I love to wink, I love, I love like a, I, wink, flirt, fun, play, that's all fun, as long as there's nothing underneath it.

• 40:44Speaker 01

  Right, so maybe this person's projecting because they have a crush on their girlfriend.

• 40:48Speaker 02

  I mean, yeah, like if you want to fuck on the girlfriend, just say so.

• 40:51Speaker 01

  Right.

• 40:52Speaker 02

  Heyo.

• 40:54Speaker 01

  I don't know how I'm supposed to please my parents when it comes to college and careers. They shut down every path I suggest. What do I do?

• 41:01Speaker 02

  Oh, this is a, this is the first like genuine question I've gotten in this category. Wait, okay, hang on, tapping in. What's the question? I'm scared. This isn't like ugly babies.

• 41:11Speaker 01

  No, no. I don't know how I'm supposed to please my parents when it comes to college and careers. They shut down every, sorry, it's not funny.

• 41:18Speaker 02

  No.

• 41:18Speaker 01

  You were funny.

• 41:19Speaker 02

  No, it's hilarious.

• 41:20Speaker 01

  They shut down every path I suggest. What do I do?

• 41:23Speaker 02

  I've said it before, I'll say it again, euthanize your parents and move out.

• 41:32Speaker 02

  Do you like that?

• 41:34Speaker 01

  You know, the first research, the first research paper I ever wrote was on euthanasia. Legalize that.

• 41:41Speaker 02

  What did you just say?

• 41:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, the first research paper I ever wrote in eighth grade.

• 41:45Speaker 02

  Was on?

• 41:46Speaker 01

  Euthanasia.

• 41:47Speaker 02

  Can I be so dead ass about what I thought you just said?

• 41:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:52Speaker 02

  The first research paper I ever did was on youth in Asia. And I was like, hell, yeah. And you know what? Yeah, it was. Yeah, it was. And I was like, how did you get that from euthanasation? Euthanasia is what you call.

• 42:09Speaker 02

  Oh, bitch, I was like.

• 42:11Speaker 01

  Did you mean emancipation?

• 42:13Speaker 02

  About what?

• 42:14Speaker 01

  The parents, or did you mean?

• 42:15Speaker 02

  Oh, no, I meant euthanasia.

• 42:16Speaker 01

  Okay, okay.

• 42:17Speaker 02

  No, I did mean euthanasia.

• 42:23Speaker 02

  But emancipation would do as well.

• 42:25Speaker 01

  Right.

• 42:25Speaker 02

  Close second.

• 42:26Speaker 01

  Close second.

• 42:27Speaker 02

  Close second, yeah. I don't know, get really good at something and then prove them wrong. My parents thought that I was gonna crash and burn and be dead in a ditch somewhere by the time I was seventeen. And then at eighteen, I got a job, so.

• 42:38Speaker 01

  Was that when you booked your first job when you were eighteen?

• 42:41Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 42:42Speaker 01

  And it was Mean Girls?

• 42:43Speaker 02

  Well, I was in callbacks for Mean Girls when I was eighteen. I got my first, like, job, like, of, like, a reading for something when I was... Okay, when I was eighteen. And then I, like, officially, officially, officially, like, contracted paper and money in my fucking pocket in 2019, beginning.

• 43:01Speaker 01

  What did your parents want you to do before that?

• 43:04Speaker 02

  Anything. They were, they were begging. They were looking for a prayer. They were, they were sweating like a whore in church. Woo, they were sweating. They were like, please do anything, we're begging. They wanted me to be

• 43:18Speaker 02

  professional golfer.

• 43:19Speaker 01

  What?

• 43:20Speaker 02

  Because, yeah. Do you know this part of my lore?

• 43:22Speaker 01

  You were a golfer?

• 43:24Speaker 02

  My whole life.

• 43:27Speaker 02

  My whole life. I was on, I was on every team.

• 43:30Speaker 01

  Did you enjoy it?

• 43:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, I love golfing. I still love golfing. You've never seen my custom golf bag?

• 43:36Speaker 01

  No.

• 43:37Speaker 02

  Initials and all, girl.

• 43:38Speaker 01

  Wait, what is golfing now?

• 43:42Speaker 02

  Golf is similar

• 43:47Speaker 02

  to, okay, let's go. Okay, beginning here.

• 43:52Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 43:54Speaker 02

  You have a lot of straight friends. You know what pickleball is.

• 43:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:58Speaker 02

  Pickleball is to golf as Catholicism is to Christianity, as American Eagle is to Abercrombie.

• 44:12Speaker 02

  Golf is so fun. It is such a mental game and it is, contrary to popular belief, a very athletic sport in the dome. It's so fun.

• 44:26Speaker 01

  So, did you play? How lo- how old were you when you started?

• 44:29Speaker 02

  I started playing when I was probably six or seven.

• 44:35Speaker 01

  So, you remember the Tiger Woods scandal?

• 44:38Speaker 02

  Do I remember? It was all the rage.

• 44:40Speaker 01

  Was it like the biggest deal ever for you?

• 44:42Speaker 02

  Girl, it was all the rage. I was like, what's going on?

• 44:44Speaker 01

  It was the cra- and then I'm pretty sure she hit him with her car.

• 44:50Speaker 02

  Did she?

• 44:51Speaker 01

  Didn't she?

• 44:52Speaker 02

  I just remember because it was the drama of my household. Like, it was the drama.

• 44:56Speaker 01

  And everyone was like, did you hear?

• 44:58Speaker 02

  Of course. And at the time, I was like, hello, this is like me, seven years old, like not believing women. Hello. I'm like, I'm like, but it's like Tiger Woods. Like, I was like, wait, like, he's kind of like my everything.

• 45:12Speaker 01

  Right.

• 45:13Speaker 02

  I'm like, oh, okay. Um, but yeah, that was like massive drama, massive drama. And then there was a DUI.

• 45:19Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 45:20Speaker 02

  F-U, I think.

• 45:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, they tie- it was a whole to do.

• 45:24Speaker 02

  I know.

• 45:25Speaker 01

  It was a whole to do.

• 45:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:27Speaker 01

  I hate all my friends.

• 45:29Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 45:29Speaker 01

  They're immature and constantly shut people out. But I'm at the age where it's hard to make new ones. If I leave them, I'll be alone. What do I do?

• 45:36Speaker 02

  What's your age, babe? It's never too late to make really good friends.

• 45:39Speaker 01

  I also agree, you know, and what's always so reassuring is whenever I'm with someone that's like forty and I'm like, yeah, you know, I've known him since, for like ten years and this is my best friend. I'm like, oh, and you can always meet new people.

• 45:51Speaker 02

  You can always meet new people. My, you know, my friend group so well.

• 45:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:55Speaker 02

  We've all been best friends for...

• 46:01Speaker 02

  I mean, honestly, that like massive group has only been like really best friends in this specific iteration of everybody, like all of like T's friends and my friends have all only been together since, I guess, January, really, of this year.

• 46:18Speaker 01

  What?

• 46:19Speaker 02

  Like, in that way, I mean, like, we've been best friends for years, but like, all of us, like, in the specifics, like, if you include, like, everybody, even from like my friends who you've known for forever, have only been all super tight since, since around January. And like, we are so inseparable.

• 46:36Speaker 01

  Right.

• 46:37Speaker 02

  And like, they're the greatest group of people that I know.

• 46:41Speaker 01

  And also, my best friend, Will, I didn't know until last year.

• 46:44Speaker 02

  I know. Do you know what I remember?

• 46:47Speaker 01

  What?

• 46:48Speaker 02

  Oh, you're so cute, you're so cute, because you were like, I have a gay friend. And I was like, woo! I was like, shit! I was like, oh, I'm so fucking glad. Yes, I remember when you guys met, because I was so excited. I was like, you need more gay people in your life, and I love your straights, you know, I ride for your straights down, but I was like, you need more gays in your life, and like, like, queer gays, not just people who are like, like, there's a difference, you know?

• 47:15Speaker 01

  There is a major difference.

• 47:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course, you and Will just met each other like a year.

• 47:19Speaker 01

  Year ago, and we're best friends, vacation together.

• 47:22Speaker 02

  And he's so sweet.

• 47:22Speaker 01

  He's the greatest.

• 47:23Speaker 02

  He's a good, he's a good one.

• 47:24Speaker 01

  He's a good one.

• 47:25Speaker 02

  He's a good one.

• 47:26Speaker 01

  And he, you know, he makes gay country music?

• 47:29Speaker 02

  Excuse me?

• 47:29Speaker 01

  Yes, I have to play it for you, it's amazing. Louise, you just heard it, right? Yeah, it's amazing.

• 47:33Speaker 02

  Wait, get out.

• 47:34Speaker 01

  He makes gay country music.

• 47:36Speaker 02

  Hello?

• 47:37Speaker 01

  He's the voice of an angel. Yes?

• 47:40Speaker 02

  Will Talented unlocked.

• 47:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, unlocked.

• 47:44Speaker 02

  That's very Will Alert.

• 47:47Speaker 02

  That's so, Will Alert, yeah.

• 47:48Speaker 01

  Will Alert.

• 47:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:50Speaker 01

  My ex-situationship and I have a very hard time staying away from each other.

• 47:53Speaker 02

  Oh my fucking god, that's so tired, sorry. That was a tick, sorry, that was a tick, that was a tick, I shouldn't have said that.

• 48:01Speaker 01

  We're so, so bad for one another, but I think that's why we still hook up. Help me, how do I grow up?

• 48:07Speaker 02

  Stand up and grow up. No, I'm sorry, I know that it's much more difficult than that.

• 48:15Speaker 02

  You take this one first, I don't have anything nice to say.

• 48:17Speaker 01

  I mean, I've never, the only situationship I've ever had was a guy I hooked up with twice over the course of six months, and I'm still down bad over him, so I have nothing to add for that. Godspeed to you.

• 48:27Speaker 02

  I hear you, but like, you're kind of that girl, so why? I just like, my mom was always like, dude, like, you're the shit, like, you're that bitch, like, if somebody doesn't want to be around you, then like, okay, they're lost, and like, they can be the shit to somebody else, but like, clearly that person's not the shit to you.

• 48:46Speaker 01

  Right.

• 48:47Speaker 02

  I hear you.

• 48:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:48Speaker 02

  I hear you, but please know that from my perspective, I can't even understand it at all.

• 48:54Speaker 01

  And that makes me feel better. We literally only hooked up twice five years ago.

• 48:58Speaker 02

  Five years ago. Love. Can you show me a picture of this person, because there's no way-

• 49:02Speaker 01

  I don't even have one.

• 49:03Speaker 02

  Jake, there's no way he's good-looking.

• 49:05Speaker 01

  He, you, he's not, he is, to me.

• 49:09Speaker 02

  Talking about dicks never makes me feel good, I'm sorry, I didn't have anything to say, because it always just makes me question, I'm like,

• 49:16Speaker 01

  And I did do it.

• 49:17Speaker 02

  Good, though, good, good, you needed that.

• 49:20Speaker 01

  Well, Renee.

• 49:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:22Speaker 01

  What did we learn today?

• 49:25Speaker 02

  Well, we certainly didn't learn who God and Jesus are.

• 49:30Speaker 02

  Still not sure if they're the same person. Can't tell if they're related. We learned that-

• 49:38Speaker 01

  You're excited for tour.

• 49:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 49:41Speaker 01

  We learned that you are excited.

• 49:42Speaker 02

  We learned I'm excited for tour, I think we learned that like,

• 49:48Speaker 02

  we probably shouldn't go on like four-day vendors again. It's getting to the point where I'm like, woo.

• 49:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, but like, let's go out next weekend, if, well, you're gone.

• 49:56Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm gone, but then I'm home.

• 49:58Speaker 01

  When you're back?

• 49:59Speaker 02

  I'm home the following weekend. Actually, party on Saturday, I'm home the following weekend, genuinely, deadass.

• 50:03Speaker 01

  I will be here.

• 50:04Speaker 02

  Okay, done. What did you learn?

• 50:09Speaker 01

  That I think you're gonna be in my life forever. And I really love you so much.

• 50:12Speaker 02

  I love you so bad. You'll be in my life forever whether you like it or not. I'll chain you to something before you try and go somewhere.

• 50:19Speaker 01

  And you are everything to me, and I love you. And I'm so proud of you.

• 50:22Speaker 02

  Love you.

• 50:23Speaker 01

  Wanna give a little "Bye pussies"?

• 50:26Speaker 02

  Hey puss.

• 50:29Speaker 02

  Wait, did you say to say bye?

• 50:31Speaker 01

  Say bye pussies.

• 50:40Speaker 02

  Bye pussies.

• 50:51Speaker 00

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short, and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long-distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola, for everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.