Session 144: Owen Thiele Returns

All... We do... Is gossip. Use my code for 10% off your next SeatGeek order*:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/THERAPUSS⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sponsored by SeatGeek. *Restrictions apply. Max $25 discount Thanks to Depop for sponsoring this episode! https://www.depop.com/ Tell Me What's Wrong at ⁠ passthatpuss.com Follow Owen! https://www.instagram.com/owenthiele/?hl=en Follow Me! Instagram | @passthatpuss TikTok | @octopusslover8 Listen to "THERAPUSS" Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1BHDdC0OVuHqZ706FobfOF ⁠⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/therapuss-with-jake-shane/id1723626781⁠⁠ Amazon Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/93117357-1f23-46e1-8f26-88f5182a68b8/therapuss-with-jake-shane⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:02Speaker 00

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• 0:42Speaker 01

  Tonight on Therapist, we have one of my dearest and best friends in the entire world, Owen Theol. He is so magnificent in adults and just as a friend and a comedian. And I was just so lucky to have him back. I, Owen, I love you. Thank you for coming on the show. He really, like, when we were shooting Adults and I, I did that episode with him. He really made me feel so comfortable in a space that I was really, really anxious in. And I will always, always, always be so grateful for that. We had, like, the best time in Toronto and, like, he's just, he's the best. Owen's the best. Owen, I love you. And in case you missed it, Sour Puss has officially launched in Target. Please let me know if you've tried it, if you like it,

• 1:27Speaker 01

  what your thoughts are. The flavors are cherry, strawberry, and blue raspberry, because you know I love berries. And each octopus has different emotions, because I thought that was important. If I was making a candy, I wanted it to be like me. So this is blue raspberry. It's sad and it is.

• 1:51Speaker 01

  I'm filming this right now during a heatwave in Los Angeles, so I'm going to keep this short, because I'm dripping sweat. But pussies, I love you so much. And also, thank you for the response to the Sandra and Nicole episode. I was so, I don't think I had ever been more nervous in my entire life than to welcome those two Academy Award-winning movie stars into my home. And the response has just made me feel so loved. And I really feel so appreciative for you guys. And I just love you and enjoy the episode. I love you pussies.

• 2:29Speaker 01

  Owen Theol. Welcome back to Therapist.

• 2:33Speaker 02

  Hi, baby. Wait, we're kind of far away.

• 2:36Speaker 01

  I, it's, I know.

• 2:36Speaker 02

  Wait, because of these, I have to tell you something. This couch, delish.

• 2:40Speaker 01

  You love?

• 2:40Speaker 02

  I'm sinking in.

• 2:42Speaker 01

  It's a little bit of a cloud couch dupe.

• 2:44Speaker 02

  Well, it's a cloud couch dupe.

• 2:46Speaker 01

  Adults is back.

• 2:47Speaker 02

  Adults is back and you're on it.

• 2:48Speaker 01

  And I'm on it.

• 2:49Speaker 02

  That's actually crazy.

• 2:50Speaker 01

  It was crazy.

• 2:51Speaker 02

  We had so much fun.

• 2:52Speaker 01

  We had so much fun. We sound like two ChatGPTs talking to each other right now.

• 2:56Speaker 02

  Of course, we had so much fun.

• 2:59Speaker 02

  No, we actually had the best time.

• 3:00Speaker 01

  But we really did. It was, we survived a blizzard.

• 3:03Speaker 02

  Okay, let's just talk about this.

• 3:05Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 3:06Speaker 02

  I don't think we were prepared for, I think, the coldest days that have ever existed, ever.

• 3:13Speaker 01

  Those were the best days of my life.

• 3:14Speaker 02

  They were the best day of mine, too. But you have to understand, we were like, that's the coldest days that Toronto has ever seen.

• 3:20Speaker 01

  I know.

• 3:21Speaker 02

  Genuinely, I went into a coffee shop and the woman was like, "Are you from here?" I said, "No, I'm from L.A." She goes, "Leave, leave, get out." She was screaming at me.

• 3:29Speaker 01

  Mind you, I was trying to get, do you remember I was trying to get this guy to go on a date with me and drive back? And he was like, "I'll die on the road."

• 3:35Speaker 02

  No, of course, I remember that.

• 3:37Speaker 01

  Do you remember? I said, "Why isn't he seeing me?" And you said, "Well, babe, the roads are ice."

• 3:41Speaker 02

  I said, "The roads are closed. You can't even drive."

• 3:43Speaker 01

  Right.

• 3:44Speaker 02

  And you were so upset. You're like, "He's using it as an excuse. He doesn't want to see me." I'm like, "No, no, no, no. He's, he's about to die for you."

• 3:50Speaker 01

  Right.

• 3:51Speaker 02

  He's, he's gonna do it.

• 3:52Speaker 01

  And we saw a hockey game.

• 3:53Speaker 02

  We saw, we saw, okay, Jake and I went to a hockey game. And during the hockey game, Jake goes, "Let's just go get merch." And I'm like, "Totally."

• 4:02Speaker 01

  Owen thinks we're getting a hat, by the way.

• 4:04Speaker 02

  I think we're, a hat, maybe. May, I thought maybe if I liked a hat, I'd buy it.

• 4:08Speaker 01

  Maybe a finger foam.

• 4:09Speaker 02

  Exactly, I thought that. I ended up, we walked out with bags of merch. Jack, a jacket?

• 4:16Speaker 01

  Oh, that jacket was so cute.

• 4:17Speaker 02

  It was adorable, but you could only wear it in Toronto. You have it, I'm dead. I'm absolutely dead.

• 4:25Speaker 02

  No.

• 4:28Speaker 02

  Okay. So, looking back at it, it's so butt ugly.

• 4:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:37Speaker 01

  Oh, fuck.

• 4:39Speaker 02

  I'm, no, no, no. But here's the deal, we can, it just is very Toronto swinter.

• 4:46Speaker 01

  Okay, let me put it on for you.

• 4:47Speaker 02

  Okay, put it on. Do a fashion show. It's cute on you, Jake. Anything's cute on you because you're a bite-sized, cute, adore. That is so cute! I love it now.

• 4:57Speaker 01

  It's cute, we'll wear it just because we filmed Adults in Toronto.

• 5:00Speaker 02

  Totally, but I also love how you're wearing it.

• 5:02Speaker 01

  Right, I'm wearing it just.

• 5:04Speaker 02

  It's 102 degrees outside.

• 5:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, by the way, it's very hot in this city.

• 5:09Speaker 02

  Very hot in New York.

• 5:10Speaker 01

  Should we talk about, okay, where do we begin?

• 5:12Speaker 02

  Well, I don't know. Where do we start?

• 5:15Speaker 01

  Owen and I have been hanging out quite frequently these days.

• 5:17Speaker 02

  We're obsessed with each other.

• 5:18Speaker 01

  Obsessed.

• 5:18Speaker 02

  Well, I'm obsessed with you. You don't have to be obsessed with me.

• 5:20Speaker 01

  I'm very obsessed with you.

• 5:21Speaker 02

  I'm obsessed with you.

• 5:22Speaker 01

  And we learned how to write a joke together.

• 5:23Speaker 02

  We, we formulated a joke together.

• 5:26Speaker 01

  And we looked at each other and we said, "Is that how people do it?"

• 5:29Speaker 02

  Is that how it's done? I go, "Oh, Quinta Bronson, you, watch out."

• 5:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, we were, we were sitting, we were talking back and forth and then the joke came and we were like, "Oh."

• 5:38Speaker 02

  Totally, we like our one joke that we wrote.

• 5:40Speaker 01

  Because we're writing a movie.

• 5:41Speaker 02

  Of course, tell, tell them.

• 5:43Speaker 01

  Should we tell them the plot of the movie?

• 5:45Speaker 02

  No.

• 5:45Speaker 01

  Or is somebody gonna steal it?

• 5:46Speaker 02

  Someone's gonna steal it.

• 5:47Speaker 01

  Wait, by the way, we were at dinner with people last night. They go, "Oh, I don't think anyone's stealing that idea."

• 5:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, they, they go, "You're fine on that."

• 5:55Speaker 01

  We go, "Oh, okay."

• 5:57Speaker 02

  I literally was so offended. I want everyone to want to steal my ideas. But I think my ideas are so mentally ill that no one would even think about them.

• 6:08Speaker 01

  What's your best idea besides our movie that you've had recently?

• 6:10Speaker 02

  I have this thing, I really want to invent it. It's an invention. It's called the, the pro file.

• 6:18Speaker 02

  Wait. An electric nail filer. You put it on your nail, it has safety features. You put it on your nail, boom, you press little, you press square, round, diamond, you take it off and your nail's filed perfectly.

• 6:32Speaker 01

  Wait.

• 6:33Speaker 02

  The pro file. The profile.

• 6:36Speaker 01

  Wait, that's amazing.

• 6:37Speaker 02

  I'm sorry, it's genius.

• 6:39Speaker 01

  So who can you pitch that to to get that made?

• 6:41Speaker 02

  Haley? I think Hailey Bieber.

• 6:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm gonna call Haley.

• 6:46Speaker 01

  I feel like she would be.

• 6:47Speaker 02

  I feel like she would be like, "No, I started the best brand in the world. I don't need to help you with your weird nail file."

• 6:53Speaker 01

  So who would?

• 6:55Speaker 02

  I don't know, I also have this, the Oe Pack. You buy.

• 6:58Speaker 01

  The Oe Pack, okay.

• 6:59Speaker 02

  You buy it at an airport.

• 7:01Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 7:01Speaker 02

  It has all things you would need to stay clean on an air, on an airplane. So you like, you have like, you know, like, you can put like a bag over the seat.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  Oh, I never do that.

• 7:12Speaker 02

  I know, but like, why don't, if you, if it was called the Oe Pack with me like this, you might.

• 7:17Speaker 01

  Right, I would.

• 7:18Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 7:19Speaker 01

  But it's just like, so like, the, I can't, I, you, I, when's the last time you changed your sheets and put your sheets on your bed?

• 7:28Speaker 02

  Wait, like, my bed at home?

• 7:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:31Speaker 02

  Very recently.

• 7:32Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 7:32Speaker 02

  Wait, why, you don't do that?

• 7:34Speaker 01

  I can't.

• 7:34Speaker 02

  You don't wash your sheets?

• 7:35Speaker 01

  No, I do wash my sheets. In college, my freshman year, I washed them once.

• 7:40Speaker 02

  Please. Were you having sex?

• 7:44Speaker 01

  Try, mm.

• 7:45Speaker 02

  Trying.

• 7:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:48Speaker 02

  So here's the deal.

• 7:48Speaker 01

  Wait, no, not like actual sex. It was like the gay everything, but.

• 7:51Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 7:52Speaker 01

  You know what I mean?

• 7:53Speaker 02

  You know what that's called? Aside.

• 7:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, like, that's like.

• 7:56Speaker 02

  Um, wait, so were you spraying perfume? You know what my favorite thing to do? Wait, I didn't say this. Okay, I'm going to. My favorite thing to do is coming home from Aloe Gym.

• 8:09Speaker 01

  Uh huh. Which, by the way, last time we spoke, you were like, "Where is my invite?" I see you there every day.

• 8:17Speaker 02

  Jake, you've changed my life. It was you.

• 8:19Speaker 01

  But no, it wasn't. It was the Aloe Gym.

• 8:22Speaker 02

  No, no, no, it was you. You got me in first. By saying that on your podcast, they were like, "Come in."

• 8:27Speaker 01

  And didn't, doesn't your body feel changed?

• 8:31Speaker 02

  I'm a new human being.

• 8:32Speaker 01

  Someone asked me if you were on peptides the other day.

• 8:34Speaker 02

  No.

• 8:35Speaker 01

  Someone said.

• 8:35Speaker 02

  Who? That's a nice, tell them to text me.

• 8:37Speaker 01

  No, they said, they said, "I, is Owen on peptides?" Like, can you, wait, can you ask him?

• 8:43Speaker 02

  I would tell you right now if I was. By the way, you know, I did take a peptide for my skin, the copper one. And you know what happened to me? Did I tell you this?

• 8:49Speaker 01

  No, was it the GHK?

• 8:53Speaker 02

  Exactly, GHK. If you can't pronounce something, you shouldn't be putting it into your body.

• 8:58Speaker 01

  But you did and what happened?

• 9:00Speaker 02

  I went into hypothermic shock.

• 9:01Speaker 01

  What do you mean? That's my dream.

• 9:03Speaker 02

  Wait, totally. I want to be cold and little and small. No, I, literally, my body temperature reached, I think, 95 or 94.

• 9:13Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, you were saying this.

• 9:15Speaker 02

  I was freezing, I turned blue. It was horrible. It's one of those things where I then called the doctor who gave it to me, that, he's not a doctor, because they're.

• 9:25Speaker 01

  They're not doctors.

• 9:26Speaker 02

  I don't think it's FDA-approved.

• 9:27Speaker 01

  It's not FDA-approved, but I went to a doctor's office to get mine. I have Rheta in the fridge. And I never took it because I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna, this is in case of emergencies.

• 9:35Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 9:36Speaker 01

  It's very in case of emergencies. And my dad keeps sending me like articles about it. But like, I do see photos of people that are on GHKCU and I'm like, "You look amazing."

• 9:43Speaker 02

  So it's supposed to really help the skin? And I called my doctor and I said to him, "Why did I go into hypothermic shock? Why am I dying?" And he said, "Just let your body regulate." He said, "Just, just keep it up." So then I'm like, "Do I die for my skin?"

• 9:59Speaker 01

  What did Jared think?

• 10:00Speaker 02

  Well, Jared thinks I'm crazy.

• 10:03Speaker 01

  Right.

• 10:03Speaker 02

  Genuinely, everything I take or do or whatever, Jared's like, "You're insane."

• 10:06Speaker 01

  Right, we were trying to leave a party the other day, us three. And I said, "Okay, well, can we go?" And Jared said, "Just pause." Owen's walking around still.

• 10:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:16Speaker 01

  Do you remember that?

• 10:18Speaker 03

  You need to allow for like thirty to forty.

• 10:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:20Speaker 02

  Thirty to forty minutes for me to say goodbye to people.

• 10:23Speaker 01

  Owen, he was not wrong. Owen, he was not wrong. We were standing at the front, sitting.

• 10:26Speaker 02

  Here's the deal. I've gotten so many fights with my friends about this. I don't like to Irish. You Irish.

• 10:32Speaker 01

  Oh, I'm, I'm out.

• 10:33Speaker 02

  See, okay, this is the thing, though. Then the next day, I can't deal with this. Where'd you go?

• 10:37Speaker 01

  Home.

• 10:39Speaker 02

  Wait, totally. It's one word.

• 10:40Speaker 01

  I went home.

• 10:41Speaker 02

  Totally. Totally. I should just do that.

• 10:44Speaker 01

  I went home.

• 10:45Speaker 02

  So instead, I have to go up to them and be like, when am I seeing you?

• 10:48Speaker 01

  Oh, you do.

• 10:49Speaker 02

  And then I have to go, wait, let me look at my sketch. And then I'm pulling it up, and then I'm calling, I'm calling people, I'm calling my agent, being like, can we just move this really fast? I'm doing everything. I just.

• 10:59Speaker 01

  Owen and I left a party with plans to go get drunk at a Mexican restaurant in a random parking lot in the valley with Shay Mitchell.

• 11:07Speaker 02

  And by the way.

• 11:08Speaker 01

  Never happened.

• 11:09Speaker 02

  Never happened.

• 11:10Speaker 01

  Shay, love you down. Congrats on base. Never happened.

• 11:14Speaker 02

  I have to be honest. Ba- is it Baze or Bahe- or Baze?

• 11:19Speaker 01

  Ba- it's base. It's, first of all, I'm not just saying this. Shay, congrats. It's the best suitcase I've ever owned.

• 11:25Speaker 02

  It's genuinely the best suitcase. I opened it up the other day. I go, okay, this is huge. It was a carry-on. I go, I can fit my life in here.

• 11:32Speaker 01

  The carry-on? The carry-on. It's very big.

• 11:35Speaker 02

  I literally go, Jared, get in here. Let me zip it up. You wanna come with me to New York? I don't wanna pay for your ticket. Get in the suitcase.

• 11:41Speaker 01

  It's very, very big.

• 11:44Speaker 02

  I genuinely don't think it fits in the, in the compartment up.

• 11:47Speaker 01

  No, it doesn't. It doesn't. I've had issues with it.

• 11:49Speaker 02

  Shit.

• 11:51Speaker 01

  But then you say like, well, what, what am I supposed to do? And then you're already on the plane and they're like, well, fuck.

• 11:56Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 11:56Speaker 01

  We can check it. And I'm like, how? The plane's closed.

• 11:59Speaker 02

  Totally. Babe, you're gonna have to hold it in your lap. You say that to the flight attendant?

• 12:04Speaker 01

  Talk about, um, a flight that should be changed is, I don't like the flight from LA.

• 12:10Speaker 02

  LA to New York?

• 12:10Speaker 01

  Toronto.

• 12:11Speaker 02

  Wait, why?

• 12:13Speaker 01

  Because, um.

• 12:14Speaker 02

  Bumpy?

• 12:15Speaker 01

  It just, it was too short.

• 12:18Speaker 02

  Okay, I'm understanding. I've never taken a flight from, I always go to New York first. Do I stop? Have I ever gone straight from LA to Toronto? I don't think I have. Maybe I have. Oh, it's on Air Canada. Which, by the way, I, I don't think, I don't think I like that, that airline.

• 12:37Speaker 01

  That's what I'm saying.

• 12:38Speaker 02

  I think that's the worst airline.

• 12:39Speaker 01

  It's the worst airline. The seats are cardboard. The people are lovely.

• 12:42Speaker 02

  Cardboard.

• 12:43Speaker 01

  Because they're Canadian.

• 12:44Speaker 02

  Well, of course.

• 12:45Speaker 01

  They're lovely because they're Canadian.

• 12:46Speaker 02

  Isn't it crazy that all Canadians are lovely? Like, that's not, like, I thought that was like a stereotype.

• 12:51Speaker 01

  I love to, do you, do you prefer Toronto or Vancouver?

• 12:54Speaker 02

  Can I be honest?

• 12:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:56Speaker 02

  I've never, no, I have been to Vancouver. Oh my God, I have a story for you.

• 13:00Speaker 01

  Tell me right now.

• 13:01Speaker 02

  But we have to bleep the name.

• 13:02Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 13:03Speaker 02

  Okay, great. So there was a band.

• 13:05Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 13:07Speaker 02

  I just gave it away.

• 13:10Speaker 02

  Do you know who I'm talking about? Yeah, okay, so bleep that.

• 13:15Speaker 02

  And my friend, who you just met, don't say the name.

• 13:20Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 13:20Speaker 02

  Who you just met.

• 13:21Speaker 01

  Lovely. If you're listening, girl.

• 13:23Speaker 02

  Lovely. Uh, we love you. Uh, she really wanted to hook up with [BLEEP] and they were texting and DMing and, wait, come to one of my shows. And so we looked on, on, we looked at the website for their, on their show, and it said Toronto. No, it said Vancouver. And we were like, kinda close to LA.

• 13:44Speaker 01

  Right.

• 13:44Speaker 02

  So we, she goes, oh my God, this is so weird. Owen's in Vancouver. I'm already visiting him. Lie. We boarded a plane to Vancouver, me and her.

• 13:52Speaker 01

  No, you did that.

• 13:53Speaker 02

  Yeah. Boarded a plane to Vancouver, lied to this man, to this rock star, and we told him we were already there. We, we get up, the plane is delayed. The, the, the show is at 8:00 PM that night, okay?

• 14:05Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 14:06Speaker 02

  We land at six. We're supposed to land at six. We end up landing at 7:30. We're like, fuck! We sprint into a car. We have our suitcases.

• 14:13Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 14:14Speaker 02

  I'm now paying the Uber driver in Vancouver. I'm like, just stay out here with our.

• 14:17Speaker 01

  Stay with us. Stay with us.

• 14:19Speaker 02

  Suitcases. Uh, please, just hold our suitcases safe. We leave, we go into the venue. I'm like, he could have just stolen our whole life.

• 14:26Speaker 01

  Right.

• 14:27Speaker 02

  Our whole life is in the car. Anyways, he doesn't. He's a kind man. We go into the venue, we have a great night, and then the worst thing ever happens. We go back, they kind of have a flirty vibe, but nothing happens. We go back to the hotel.

• 14:40Speaker 01

  So hot.

• 14:41Speaker 02

  So hot. We go back to the hotel, and we're like, cause we booked a hotel room. We're like, okay.

• 14:45Speaker 01

  Well, thank God.

• 14:46Speaker 02

  We got away with that. We're like, we got away with that. They really thought we were already here.

• 14:49Speaker 01

  Right.

• 14:50Speaker 02

  As we pull up, so do they. And we have our suitcases. Imagine that. So I am opening the door with a suitcase, and I go, and I look at the bellman, and I've never in my life, I took my suitcase and I threw it at the bellman. I said, [BLEEP] and I was like, hi, we're just coming to the bar. We're just here for the bar. We're just here for the bar. Oh, yeah.

• 15:15Speaker 01

  Like, let's have a drink?

• 15:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, let's, that's great. Let's all hang out. We were like, oh, totally.

• 15:20Speaker 01

  And did you get away with it?

• 15:22Speaker 02

  We got away with it. He had no idea.

• 15:24Speaker 01

  Until now.

• 15:25Speaker 02

  Until right now. Should I not be telling this? Just bleep it enough. I think it's fine.

• 15:29Speaker 01

  I mean, the issue with Owen and I is all we do is gossip.

• 15:34Speaker 02

  Sorry, I love it.

• 15:35Speaker 01

  It's all we do. Every, everything. We sit here when, before, but honestly, it helps our creative process.

• 15:41Speaker 02

  A hundred percent.

• 15:43Speaker 01

  We gossip for two hours, we write one joke.

• 15:45Speaker 02

  Totally. And that's what comedy is.

• 15:47Speaker 01

  I still can't believe writing jokes is that easy.

• 15:50Speaker 02

  It's, well, you're a great joke writer.

• 15:52Speaker 01

  You're a great joke writer. We're.

• 15:55Speaker 02

  We're a great.

• 15:56Speaker 01

  Well, we're like, we're, we've recently discovered that we're creative partners.

• 16:00Speaker 02

  Well, we're a dream team.

• 16:01Speaker 01

  We're a dream team.

• 16:01Speaker 02

  In many ways.

• 16:03Speaker 01

  Can we talk about when I fell down the stairs?

• 16:06Speaker 02

  Oh my God!

• 16:08Speaker 01

  When we were filming Adults.

• 16:09Speaker 02

  Jake, for, I have never in my life, her, okay, speak of, speaking of gossip, all of a sudden, we're filming, okay? We're in a scene. And all of a sudden, you hear.

• 16:23Speaker 02

  It was quiet. It was quiet. And then you heard, I think Jake Shane fell down the stairs. Jake Shane just fell down the stairs. Jake Shane fell down the stairs. Everyone was whispering. The whole set was ablaze.

• 16:33Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 16:34Speaker 02

  So what happened? I wasn't there for it. So people were behind you.

• 16:39Speaker 01

  Somebody behind me tripped, and I said, bump, bump, bump, and bumped into the wall. And I was like, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine. And I had the biggest, like, gash bump on my head. And my date had canceled on me because of the blizzard. And.

• 16:57Speaker 02

  And we were freezing.

• 16:58Speaker 01

  Well, mind you, okay, let me just like paint the picture.

• 17:01Speaker 02

  Paint the picture, babe.

• 17:01Speaker 01

  Heated Rivalry had just came out. It just came out.

• 17:04Speaker 02

  And that's why we, at a hockey game, you and I were living our damn life.

• 17:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, we were like, woo!

• 17:08Speaker 02

  We were living.

• 17:09Speaker 01

  We were like, oh, big screen. They were like, on other people.

• 17:12Speaker 02

  Totally, totally, totally. We're like, oop, we're gay and in the building, hockey.

• 17:16Speaker 01

  And they, they were like, okay. And then we were like, well, we're, we're gonna go downstairs. We're gonna go downstairs. We were sitting there.

• 17:22Speaker 02

  Well, we, I, I wanna, of course, we were feeling hot. We were feeling like Connor Story. Wait, Connor Story, I, I didn't know. I know everyone knew this. I actually didn't know that he has such a.

• 17:35Speaker 01

  Great personality?

• 17:36Speaker 02

  Great butt. Great butt.

• 17:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, it's, wait, what, did you watch Heated Rivalry?

• 17:41Speaker 02

  No, of course. I, no, I knew this, but recent, like, in pants even. I didn't realize.

• 17:46Speaker 01

  Oh, are you talking about the pop walks in Vancouver?

• 17:48Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 17:50Speaker 01

  It's outrageous.

• 17:51Speaker 02

  I was, it was crazy.

• 17:52Speaker 01

  Well, do you know he does like 300 squats every day?

• 17:54Speaker 02

  No, that's a lie.

• 17:55Speaker 01

  No, swear. He's like, I do 300 squats every single day.

• 17:59Speaker 02

  I'm gonna be honest. I go to Allo Gym. I, I only do two squats.

• 18:03Speaker 01

  I don't do squats.

• 18:04Speaker 02

  I can't. My knees. How does it hurt the knees?

• 18:07Speaker 01

  My knees hurt. I'm tired. I start sweating in my face. I'm like, I just can't. But like, that's why Connor Story is Connor Story. Did you see his YSL ad?

• 18:14Speaker 02

  So hot.

• 18:15Speaker 01

  Like, the hottest thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

• 18:17Speaker 02

  This, this?

• 18:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, he, yep. And he, and he's like, glasses. And then the best part about it is they'll cut to other people, and you're like, no, no, no, bring him back, bring him back, bring him back, bring him back.

• 18:26Speaker 02

  He's, that's a star. That's a star when, when you cut to another person on screen and then you go, wait, I actually.

• 18:31Speaker 01

  I want him back. Who else do you feel that way about?

• 18:36Speaker 01

  Cause I could tell you right now.

• 18:37Speaker 02

  Okay, go.

• 18:37Speaker 01

  Lena Dunham.

• 18:38Speaker 02

  Oh my God, when Lena Dunham's not on screen, I am craving her.

• 18:42Speaker 01

  I want her back. Lena Dunham.

• 18:44Speaker 02

  Need her. Honestly, though, you know what's weird about girls? I kinda feel that about every one of them.

• 18:50Speaker 01

  Right.

• 18:50Speaker 02

  I'm kind of like, when Jess, when Jemima's not on screen, I'm like, bring her back. When Zosia, Zosia's in Adults.

• 18:56Speaker 01

  Oh, it's my phone.

• 18:58Speaker 02

  Everyone's calling.

• 19:00Speaker 01

  Everyone is calling me this morning.

• 19:03Speaker 03

  You're a fucking asshole.

• 19:05Speaker 01

  Wait, what? Why?

• 19:07Speaker 03

  I called you 16 times and then I said, Ryan, try.

• 19:12Speaker 02

  Oh, and you answered Ryan and, and not Peyton?

• 19:16Speaker 01

  I just.

• 19:18Speaker 03

  I fucking knew it too.

• 19:22Speaker 02

  So here's the deal. Here's the honest truth. He was in the middle of a podcast episode. I'm wearing too much makeup. Whoa.

• 19:31Speaker 01

  You're not. No, you're not.

• 19:33Speaker 02

  Whoa, is that how I look on cam?

• 19:34Speaker 03

  Wait, what's wrong with your face? You look awesome.

• 19:37Speaker 02

  I, I, I almost like can't even let you see me right now. Wait, but this is about to go to Netflix? I just realized that.

• 19:44Speaker 01

  Owen's on Hulu. Like, please, I can't.

• 19:49Speaker 03

  Oh, good. Like, what are you talking? I have that shirt.

• 19:51Speaker 02

  You do. Guest in residence.

• 19:54Speaker 01

  The best.

• 19:56Speaker 02

  I'm handing you back. I love Peyton.

• 19:58Speaker 01

  Well, we're, we're going out with Peyton and Ryan tonight.

• 20:00Speaker 02

  We're going out tonight.

• 20:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, we're going out tonight, no?

• 20:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, is Owen coming?

• 20:04Speaker 03

  Yes, Owen's coming.

• 20:05Speaker 02

  Duh. Am I invited?

• 20:07Speaker 04

  Always. You're, you're always invited, Owen.

• 20:10Speaker 02

  Oh my God, I feel so at home.

• 20:14Speaker 01

  Thank you SeatGeek for sponsoring tonight's episode. Summer might have come to a close, but that does not mean live music or live events are stopping anytime soon. As we all know, Tucker, role model, is about to embark on his tour. Audrey Hubert is on tour. There are still so many festivals to be seen. And not only that, but it is about to be football season. If you are a football fan, there are comedy shows, there are Broadway shows, any live performance you can imagine is on SeatGeek, and you can use my code THERAPIST for 10% off your order. The reason SeatGeek is the best place to get tickets for these events is because it rates the tickets on a scale from one to 10, one being not the best, 10 being the best, so you know if you are getting enough bang for your buck. Also, if you click the link in the description and download the app, it automatically applies the code THERAPIST for 10% off your order.

• 21:02Speaker 01

  Kat Sai is also on tour right now, who I am desperate to see. There are so many incredible shows to be seen and so little time. SeatGeek helps you see all of them and then some. You can also add your location in so we can show you popular events near your area, whether that be music, comedy, Broadway, or sports. Again, that's code THERAPIST for 10% off your order. Thank you SeatGeek for sponsoring tonight's episode.

• 21:28Speaker 01

  Were you ever in love before Jared?

• 21:30Speaker 02

  No.

• 21:31Speaker 01

  Jared says yes.

• 21:32Speaker 02

  Only Jared. It's only ever been him. Yes, no, no, I was so in love with [BLEEP]. I was very in love. I had a boyfriend.

• 21:39Speaker 01

  What?

• 21:39Speaker 02

  In high school. Oh my god, I came out really early.

• 21:43Speaker 01

  How early?

• 21:44Speaker 02

  Like fourteen.

• 21:45Speaker 01

  Me too.

• 21:46Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 21:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:46Speaker 02

  Okay, great.

• 21:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:47Speaker 02

  And then to my parents, like eighteen.

• 21:50Speaker 01

  Really?

• 21:50Speaker 02

  Well, my parents knew I was gay the whole time.

• 21:52Speaker 01

  I mean, Ellen.

• 21:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:57Speaker 02

  No, well, I'm straight passing, of course. Uh, no, I, I was wearing like leotards and stuff. I was like super gay. I was actually gayer then than I am now.

• 22:06Speaker 01

  Right.

• 22:06Speaker 02

  And I was pretending to be straight.

• 22:07Speaker 01

  Have you listened to the new Troye Sivan song?

• 22:09Speaker 02

  No.

• 22:10Speaker 01

  What?

• 22:10Speaker 02

  I know, I know. I've, well, that's not true. I've listened. Yes, I've listened, but I haven't, I haven't dove in. I like to dive in. Like Phoebe, I dove in.

• 22:19Speaker 01

  My dad texted me about the Phoebe Bridgers album.

• 22:21Speaker 02

  Oh my god, it's unbelievable.

• 22:24Speaker 01

  It's great. What's your favorite?

• 22:25Speaker 02

  Um, right now, Bobby.

• 22:28Speaker 01

  My, me too.

• 22:29Speaker 02

  I love Bobby.

• 22:30Speaker 01

  We're very similar.

• 22:31Speaker 02

  I love Bobby.

• 22:33Speaker 01

  Bobby's the best one.

• 22:33Speaker 02

  It's, it's fun. It's beautiful.

• 22:37Speaker 01

  It's motion sickness, but a little grown up.

• 22:39Speaker 02

  Wait, totally, totally. Um, I really like it. I also like, what else do I like? I like Still Standing.

• 22:46Speaker 01

  Me too.

• 22:46Speaker 02

  Love.

• 22:47Speaker 01

  That's, I have Bobby, Still Standing, um, and then the Lost reprise.

• 22:53Speaker 02

  I like Lost Weekend, Lost Weekend reprise. Love, but I like Lost Weekend.

• 22:55Speaker 01

  I think this album might be her melodrama.

• 22:58Speaker 02

  Okay, say that.

• 22:59Speaker 01

  But I'm just saying that because there's a reprise on there.

• 23:01Speaker 02

  Totally. You see reprise, you go, okay, melodrama.

• 23:04Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 23:04Speaker 02

  Um, I really, really like the album. I haven't, I need to sit with the Troy song. I've only listened, I only saw the video, but I thought the video was amazing.

• 23:12Speaker 01

  I didn't see the video.

• 23:13Speaker 02

  Oh my god, the video is insane.

• 23:15Speaker 01

  See, that's what I heard. I heard it's amazing.

• 23:16Speaker 02

  The video's ama, and Nicole Kidman. No, the video's amazing.

• 23:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:21Speaker 02

  What are you like, I want to know. You get into bed.

• 23:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:23Speaker 02

  When do you listen to your music?

• 23:25Speaker 01

  Oh my god, thank you so much for asking. I wake up and I go to get coffee. I listen to music then. I wake up.

• 23:30Speaker 02

  Headphones.

• 23:30Speaker 01

  Headphones. I walk to my workout.

• 23:32Speaker 02

  Headphones.

• 23:33Speaker 01

  Headphones. Back from my workout, headphones. Like even if I'm with Cassidy and she sleeps over, like headphones, we'll both put on headphones and walk.

• 23:40Speaker 02

  I love that.

• 23:40Speaker 01

  Headphones on the way to the airport. And then when I'm sitting in my chair, I put on my TV show. Which by the way, what are you watching?

• 23:48Speaker 02

  Well, it's really funny. I'm not, I'm watching old things now.

• 23:51Speaker 01

  What?

• 23:52Speaker 02

  I'm like going back to Veep. I'm rewatching Veep. I'm sorry, it's the best show.

• 23:56Speaker 01

  It's the best show of all time.

• 23:57Speaker 02

  I'm rewatching Mindy Project. I think it's amazing.

• 23:59Speaker 01

  Okay, so I've never really seen Mindy Project.

• 24:03Speaker 02

  Oh Jake.

• 24:04Speaker 01

  Is it that good?

• 24:05Speaker 02

  Oh Jake, it's, it's one of the best sitcoms, I think, ever.

• 24:09Speaker 01

  What, so what's the premise of the Mindy Project? Cause I remember reading the pilot like when I was eleven, cause it like somehow like, uh, found its way on the internet.

• 24:18Speaker 02

  First of all, isn't Max?

• 24:21Speaker 05

  She's an OBGYN.

• 24:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, isn't Mac, who, who's?

• 24:24Speaker 01

  No, I know who you're thinking of.

• 24:26Speaker 02

  Who's, who's the main guy?

• 24:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, he's hot as fuck.

• 24:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, what's his name?

• 24:29Speaker 01

  He's hot.

• 24:30Speaker 05

  Chris Messina?

• 24:31Speaker 01

  Yes!

• 24:32Speaker 02

  Chris Messina is so good!

• 24:34Speaker 01

  And he's in the new season of White Lotus.

• 24:36Speaker 02

  Yes!

• 24:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:37Speaker 02

  So Mindy's an OBGYN and it just centers around her, her doctor life.

• 24:44Speaker 02

  It's so fun. It's so fun. It is beyond funny. It's genius.

• 24:49Speaker 01

  You know what I need to rewatch that I haven't seen in ages is Thirty Rock.

• 24:53Speaker 02

  I loved Thirty Rock. See, I, yeah, I loved Thirty Rock. I'm hesitant because I've only watched one season of Thirty Rock, but I love it.

• 25:00Speaker 01

  I'm watching Silo.

• 25:03Speaker 02

  I don't know this.

• 25:03Speaker 01

  Silo is about if the world ended and everyone lives in these like bunkers. But it's not like rich people bunkers. It's like bunkers, just bunkers. And like, there's like a whole system and it's been like two hundred years. And if you say, I want to go outside, then you have to go outside and you die. And then.

• 25:27Speaker 02

  Wait, what?

• 25:28Speaker 01

  No, it's cra, it's crazy. Rebecca Ferguson's in it. Have you seen Dune?

• 25:32Speaker 02

  I'm so sorry.

• 25:33Speaker 01

  Wait, neither have I.

• 25:35Speaker 02

  I think we have to see Dune. There's like five of them.

• 25:37Speaker 01

  There's two.

• 25:38Speaker 02

  Sorry.

• 25:38Speaker 01

  And we have to see them before the third comes out, cause apparently the third's just gonna be like blah blah.

• 25:44Speaker 02

  The third is gonna be huge.

• 25:46Speaker 01

  Do you know they based Star Wars off Dune?

• 25:49Speaker 02

  They based Star Wars off Dune? Dune was a book?

• 25:52Speaker 01

  Dune was a book, a very old book, and they based Star Wars off Dune. Is this true, Nolan?

• 25:56Speaker 05

  This is one hundred percent true.

• 25:57Speaker 02

  I had no, I, I, what?

• 26:00Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 26:01Speaker 02

  It's so funny. Once you put Zendaya in a movie. In, in a reboot, it'll always work.

• 26:06Speaker 01

  Always.

• 26:07Speaker 02

  Well, has she been in any other reboots?

• 26:09Speaker 01

  Nope.

• 26:09Speaker 02

  No, but, but you know what I mean?

• 26:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:11Speaker 02

  Zendaya in anything.

• 26:12Speaker 01

  Zendaya.

• 26:13Speaker 05

  Spider-Man.

• 26:13Speaker 02

  Spider-Man. Isn't it funny that if you go into the movies right now, Zendaya's in every single one?

• 26:18Speaker 01

  She's in the drama. She's in Spider-Man. She's in Dune.

• 26:21Speaker 02

  She's in The Odyssey.

• 26:23Speaker 01

  She's the movie star.

• 26:24Speaker 02

  Sorry, I want to see her.

• 26:25Speaker 01

  I think she's, um, a very modern day like Julia Roberts.

• 26:29Speaker 02

  She is, ooh, I love that.

• 26:31Speaker 01

  Do you know what I mean?

• 26:32Speaker 02

  I love that. Julia Roberts in The Odyssey, I would love to see it.

• 26:35Speaker 01

  Who would she be a modern day? Like who, like what movie star could you relate her to? That you'd be like, oh, that makes sense that they're in quite literally everything.

• 26:43Speaker 02

  Like Meryl Streep, but I guess that's like Meryl Streep now.

• 26:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:49Speaker 02

  Was Meryl Streep in everything back then?

• 26:50Speaker 01

  No.

• 26:51Speaker 02

  How old is Zendaya? Twenty-eight? I am, if she's twenty-eight, I'm, I, I'm jumping.

• 26:55Speaker 01

  How old is Zendaya?

• 26:56Speaker 05

  Twenty-nine.

• 26:57Speaker 02

  Thank, literally thank god. I'm not kidding, it changes it. It changes it.

• 27:01Speaker 01

  But have you seen a video of her from when she was like fourteen doing Shake It Up? And they're like, what are your plans this summer? And Zendaya's like, I'm gonna go work on my craft. And that's why she's Zendaya.

• 27:11Speaker 02

  Sorry, she's, yeah, we should have known.

• 27:13Speaker 01

  We should have known.

• 27:14Speaker 02

  There were telltale signs.

• 27:16Speaker 01

  She was showing up, she was showing up to everything. She was working her ass off.

• 27:19Speaker 02

  She was, you know the song Replay?

• 27:20Speaker 01

  Of course I know Replay.

• 27:22Speaker 02

  Dun dun, all on replay.

• 27:25Speaker 01

  That's a great song.

• 27:26Speaker 02

  All day. Come on. I love that. Why didn't she like pursue that? I can imagine her MSG being like, and this one's called Replay. And then the crowd goes, ah! Do you know what I mean?

• 27:40Speaker 01

  What do, in your mind?

• 27:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:42Speaker 01

  When did Zendaya become Zendaya?

• 27:45Speaker 02

  First season of Euphoria.

• 27:47Speaker 01

  I completely agree. I completely agree.

• 27:50Speaker 02

  What did, what did she do before that?

• 27:51Speaker 01

  She was in Spider-Man.

• 27:55Speaker 01

  But Spider-Man wasn't, in my, my mind, I'm sorry to every Marvel head out there, I'm, I've seen every Marvel movie. I like die for it. I wasn't like locked into Marvel really until Endgame came out. And Spider-Man for me took off with like Home, well, Far From Home, No Way Home.

• 28:12Speaker 05

  Homecoming, Far From Home, No Way Home.

• 28:14Speaker 01

  So Far From Home is, took, what took it off for me. And that was after Euphoria. So Euphoria for me is, and Euphoria was twenty eighteen, twenty nineteen. So Euphoria for me is what made Zendaya Zendaya. And when did you start working with La Roche?

• 28:27Speaker 05

  Uh, two thousand and eleven. So fifteen years. When she was fourteen.

• 28:31Speaker 01

  I don't believe that. She was working with La Roche on Shake It Up?

• 28:36Speaker 05

  Uh, the very first red carpet project together was at the premiere of Justin Bieber Never Say Never.

• 28:41Speaker 02

  Oh my god, I just saw her smiling on the, on that carpet.

• 28:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, that carpet's going viral again.

• 28:45Speaker 02

  I just saw, she was like this. I just saw it. And she kept moving.

• 28:50Speaker 01

  Oh, speaking of red carpets, I'm very upset that I can't make the adults one.

• 28:54Speaker 02

  I'm really upset. Just, uh, for, so we could hang out.

• 28:57Speaker 01

  I know. And then you texted me.

• 28:59Speaker 02

  Do you like being on a red carpet?

• 29:00Speaker 01

  I love it. Only if people are taking my photo.

• 29:04Speaker 02

  Well, they always are taking your photo.

• 29:05Speaker 01

  No, that is not true. I've been on red carpets where it's, the most humbling thing in the world is when they write your name on the thingy and the photographers, every single photographer, turns their camera and takes a photo.

• 29:16Speaker 02

  Takes a picture of the name and then goes back.

• 29:17Speaker 01

  Just to make sure, cause they have no idea.

• 29:19Speaker 02

  So I did this brilliant thing.

• 29:20Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 29:21Speaker 02

  You ready for this story?

• 29:22Speaker 01

  Tell me, please.

• 29:22Speaker 02

  Okay. So I walked onto the red carpet. This was three years ago. Obviously, no one knew, knew me. No one knows me now, but no, really no one knew me then. No, no, no, seriously. So I walk on and I'm like, you know what? This is so embarrassing that I'm just gonna make friends with these photographers. So we just start having a conversation. I'm like, oh, I love your earrings. She's like, oh, my grandma got them for me. I'm like, oh. And then she's like, she just passed. I'm like, may she rest. Uh, wait, let's talk about this. Are you feeling okay now that she's gone? She's like, you know what? It's been tough. And I'm like, totally. And then we had locked it. And the next person, I was like, ooh, I love your shirt. She was like, oh my god, this? You know what? I made that, you know? So it was like very, I really got in there with that.

• 29:59Speaker 01

  Right.

• 30:01Speaker 02

  So now, recently, I went to a carpet, actually with you, the shards.

• 30:05Speaker 01

  The shards.

• 30:06Speaker 02

  And it's so funny because every one of those photographers I know have a personal relationship with. So I'm actually the most famous person on the carpet. They're like, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, Owen, my grandma, my grandma, my grandma, ah! And they're screaming, taking photos of me. Kaia Gerber should watch out.

• 30:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:23Speaker 02

  Kaia Gerber comes on, they're like, but to me, I have a personal relationship.

• 30:25Speaker 01

  Have you ever seen Kaia on a carpet? It's not like anything I've ever seen.

• 30:28Speaker 02

  It's unbelievable what she does on that carpet.

• 30:31Speaker 01

  She walks on, there's no, there's no name that they need to take a photo of.

• 30:35Speaker 02

  Well, of course, the name is the face, babe.

• 30:37Speaker 01

  She goes, and it's.

• 30:40Speaker 02

  Of course, it's insane.

• 30:41Speaker 01

  And I'm like.

• 30:43Speaker 02

  It's insane.

• 30:44Speaker 01

  It's insane.

• 30:45Speaker 02

  I have that too, but because they think I care about their grandparents.

• 30:47Speaker 01

  But you do.

• 30:48Speaker 02

  No, I deeply care. But do you know what I mean? Uh, it's, it's, it's so fun to, to feel famous for a second. And then you realize, oh, it's because ultimately, all these photographers have a personal relationship with you.

• 31:00Speaker 01

  I don't know if you guys know this about me, I feel like you probably do. I love merch. I love concert merch. Like, when I fall in love with a band or an artist, immediately I want to own merch. Hence, my Carly Rae Jepsen merch that I'm wearing right now. And I could sell this on Depop, but I won't, because it is very special to me. But this is an example of something you could find on Depop. It is the best place to find secondhand clothing and merch. I could scroll that app for hours and hours and hours and hours. If you don't know, Depop is a fashion resale marketplace where personal taste has real value. It has really, really, really helped me hone in on my own style, which I have struggled with very much over the course of my life. And I think the reason I love Depop so much is because

• 31:45Speaker 01

  you can have this conversation with the person you're buying it from, so you have a personal connection with the buyer, and it doesn't just feel like so transactional. Like, you can share your love for the piece of clothing with the person selling it. I get overwhelmed shopping in person, and Depop, it almost feels like a for you page for clothes, like where you can like really look and add stuff and talk to people, and it feels so communicative. Also, not only just for buying, Depop is incredible for selling your clothing. There are no seller fees, which is incredible. With that being said, you can download the Depop app right now to start selling today. Listing your first item only takes about a few minutes, and someone out there is already searching for your style. Thank you, Depop, for sponsoring tonight's episode.

• 32:30Speaker 01

  If you could pick one person in the world right now to drop an album out of nowhere, surprise it, who would it be? For me, it's Taylor Swift.

• 32:37Speaker 02

  Same.

• 32:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:39Speaker 02

  Or Sabrina.

• 32:40Speaker 01

  Sabrina.

• 32:41Speaker 02

  That's tough. Tied, tied.

• 32:43Speaker 01

  Yeah. Mine's Taylor. I need, I would care the, care the most if Taylor, if I picked up my phone right now and it said, Taylor Swift, here's my 13th studio album.

• 32:52Speaker 02

  You know who I am loving so much recently that it's actually like, I'm starting to think about them like, in my unconscious?

• 33:00Speaker 01

  Can I take a guess?

• 33:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:01Speaker 01

  I'm gonna have three guesses.

• 33:02Speaker 02

  Go.

• 33:03Speaker 01

  Adela?

• 33:04Speaker 02

  Love, love, love, but no. But I love.

• 33:08Speaker 01

  Okay, okay, okay. Is it a boy or a girl?

• 33:10Speaker 02

  It's a girl, of course.

• 33:13Speaker 02

  When has there been a boy?

• 33:14Speaker 01

  Okay, okay, it's a girl.

• 33:16Speaker 02

  It's a cl- we've all been thinking of this person for a while, but it's really hit recently, really hit.

• 33:21Speaker 01

  Zara Larsson?

• 33:22Speaker 02

  Love, but no.

• 33:23Speaker 01

  Who?

• 33:25Speaker 02

  Audrey Hobart.

• 33:26Speaker 01

  Me too. I mean, Manny is Audrey Hobart's number one fan.

• 33:29Speaker 02

  I am, it's, I saw her perform in Toronto.

• 33:33Speaker 01

  It was amazing. I'm so jealous.

• 33:35Speaker 02

  You were gone at that point.

• 33:35Speaker 01

  I've never seen her live.

• 33:36Speaker 02

  I was saw- tears.

• 33:38Speaker 01

  Well, I've never felt more seen in my life by an artist, besides Taylor Swift. Like, Audrey Hobart's like literally like, I am so uncomfortable. Every photo I take of myself looks bad.

• 33:47Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 33:47Speaker 01

  I'm drunk and alone.

• 33:49Speaker 02

  Totally. This isn't Sex and the City. Sorry.

• 33:51Speaker 01

  But by the way, that's my favorite song on the album.

• 33:53Speaker 02

  No, I mean, come on.

• 33:54Speaker 01

  And Silver Jubilee. I'mma put my drink up.

• 33:56Speaker 02

  Drink up now.

• 33:58Speaker 01

  I'mma tell my sister your secrets.

• 34:05Speaker 02

  I'm, cuz I'm gonna do that. I don't have a sister, but you're my sister.

• 34:07Speaker 01

  I like the way you've been dressing recently.

• 34:09Speaker 02

  Wait, really?

• 34:10Speaker 01

  Has Jared been dressing you?

• 34:11Speaker 02

  Jared always dresses me.

• 34:12Speaker 01

  Who, did he do this?

• 34:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, he did this.

• 34:14Speaker 01

  This is phenomenal.

• 34:15Speaker 02

  This is just jeans and a tee.

• 34:16Speaker 01

  It's great. Hailey Bieber and Kendall Jenner once showed up to Coachella in leather jackets and jeans and changed history.

• 34:23Speaker 02

  Okay, but they can wear anything and look good. Genuinely, I, humble brag, I got lunch with Hailey the other day, and she was wearing just like an out, we were at ALO, and she was wearing just yoga pants or whatever. I, I've tried every day to copy the outfit, and then I realized, oh, it's a sports bra. So, I'm like, I don't think I'll be wearing that. But she just looked so effortless.

• 34:44Speaker 01

  Right.

• 34:44Speaker 02

  Effortless.

• 34:45Speaker 01

  Effortless, always effortless.

• 34:47Speaker 02

  It's crazy.

• 34:48Speaker 01

  What's your favorite road product?

• 34:51Speaker 02

  Um, probably the Glazing Mist.

• 34:54Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 34:54Speaker 02

  I have it in my bag.

• 34:56Speaker 01

  My favorite is the face wash.

• 34:58Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 34:59Speaker 01

  I like the little exfoliant thingies.

• 35:01Speaker 02

  I love that.

• 35:02Speaker 01

  Yeah. Have you used Alex's skincare yet?

• 35:04Speaker 02

  No, I have to.

• 35:05Speaker 01

  It's amazing.

• 35:06Speaker 02

  I have to. Real actives?

• 35:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's, it's, so she has this thing where it's like, um, it's a, it's like a, it's like a butter to take off your makeup, and it like, you rub it all on your face, and it starts melting all the makeup off your face. So, it feels like a painting that's melting.

• 35:23Speaker 02

  Oh, I always see this on TikTok. Everyone's obsessed with the butter.

• 35:26Speaker 01

  It's like very fun to use.

• 35:27Speaker 02

  Okay, I have to do that.

• 35:28Speaker 01

  It's like pretty awesome. And then you like, you turn it out, it's like a little like, oop, oop, oop.

• 35:33Speaker 02

  A little, oop, ah.

• 35:34Speaker 01

  Well, Owen, what are you therapist about today?

• 35:37Speaker 02

  I know what I'm therapist about.

• 35:38Speaker 01

  Okay, what?

• 35:39Speaker 02

  I've been stepping in dog shit.

• 35:44Speaker 02

  That's it. That's, that's it. And I'm just pissed about that.

• 35:46Speaker 01

  A lot?

• 35:48Speaker 02

  Okay. The other day, I'm in a flip-flop. Okay, my new thing is a flip-flop.

• 35:51Speaker 01

  My new thing is a flip-flop!

• 35:53Speaker 02

  Sorry, the dogs are out.

• 35:55Speaker 01

  Wait, and it's a French thing, by the way. I went to Paris, I saw everybody in flip-flops, and I said, okay.

• 35:59Speaker 02

  Okay, you went, okay, I'm clocking that.

• 36:02Speaker 01

  I see you.

• 36:03Speaker 02

  If Jonathan Anderson is making a flip-flop, we're wearing it.

• 36:05Speaker 01

  I saw Jonathan Anderson in a flip-flop.

• 36:07Speaker 02

  There you go, that's what I'm saying!

• 36:08Speaker 01

  And so I said, I'm wearing a flip-flop.

• 36:10Speaker 02

  I'm in a flip-flop. Okay, sue me, it's a Javiana. Really thin, okay? I am stepping through the city. Everyone already is like, my mom, I was on FaceTime with my mom, my mom's like, ew, your feet are out in New York. I'm like, oh, shut up, I'll wash them later.

• 36:25Speaker 01

  Time.

• 36:26Speaker 02

  Um, I'm in a flip-flop, I'm stomping through, uh, the park, what's the park? The Washington Square Park. I'm stomping through Washington Square Park.

• 36:33Speaker 01

  It's dirty.

• 36:34Speaker 02

  It was kinda, it was actually dirty. And thinking about it, I'm actually getting nauseous. But I'm stomping through, all of a sudden, step in something. I go, I literally, I, before I move my foot, I look up and I say, please let it be gum. At that, I, I would pray for gum. Shit, I'm like, I can't deal with that.

• 36:50Speaker 01

  And did the shit like spill out of the side of your foot?

• 36:52Speaker 02

  So then, I press a little harder, now it's goopy. I'm really making this sound really gross. It's, it's getting everywhere. Not on my foot, but on the shoe. I'm like, this-

• 37:05Speaker 01

  Did you toss them? I mean, they're Javianas.

• 37:07Speaker 02

  No, because I love a flip-flop right now, and I don't wanna have to buy other Javianas. So, I didn't toss them. I went to the grass, and I wiped my foot a lot on the grass. Okay. Actually, it was in a little bit of the crevices, but it was fine. But I was needed at a lunch. So, I found myself, I found myself in Birado, and I thought, okay, this is what I'll do. I'll, I'll get, take a bottle, and I'll spray my feet with it.

• 37:34Speaker 01

  No mistake.

• 37:35Speaker 02

  Well, mistake, it's really hard to get the bottle down to your feet without the people being like, what are you doing?

• 37:41Speaker 01

  No, what you need to do is what I would have done, is I would have taken that flip-flop, because they're like silicone, and I would have put it in the little like, uh, drinkity, the fountain, and I would have like-

• 37:54Speaker 02

  Drinkity.

• 37:55Speaker 01

  Tossed it around in the fountain, like looked around and like shaved it, and put like, went like this, and like really washed it, and then like, sat there for a second, let it dry, and then went to Birado.

• 38:06Speaker 02

  I definitely should have done that, cuz there was shit in the crevices, but I just thought, no one will see it or know it's there, but they might smell it.

• 38:14Speaker 01

  Did they smell it?

• 38:15Speaker 02

  No, because I did use summer rain on, I did get summer rain to, and I sprayed it all over my, my foot. But the woman at the store was confused why I was spraying my foot.

• 38:25Speaker 01

  Did she give a fuck?

• 38:27Speaker 02

  She looked at me weird for a second, but she was French, so I think she's fine.

• 38:30Speaker 01

  Do you like Paris?

• 38:32Speaker 02

  Paris, like France?

• 38:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:33Speaker 02

  Gorge, I thought you meant Hilton.

• 38:35Speaker 01

  Oh, love Paris Hilton.

• 38:36Speaker 02

  I mean, the best. Um, do I love France? Yeah. I don't think they like me. No one's ever that nice to me in Paris.

• 38:44Speaker 01

  I actually find-

• 38:46Speaker 02

  What?

• 38:46Speaker 01

  I was there for the heat wave.

• 38:49Speaker 02

  You're always somewhere for-

• 38:52Speaker 01

  Uh, weather-

• 38:53Speaker 02

  Weather, yeah.

• 38:54Speaker 01

  Event. I was very happy to be in Toronto for the blizzard.

• 38:58Speaker 02

  Agree. Wait, I just felt like Kareem in Subway takes. Strongly agree.

• 39:03Speaker 01

  What would your Subway take be?

• 39:04Speaker 02

  I think we should be allowed to listen to Christmas music all year round.

• 39:08Speaker 01

  That's not a Subway take.

• 39:09Speaker 02

  It is.

• 39:10Speaker 01

  But you can do that. You have your own free volition, you have your own free will.

• 39:13Speaker 02

  Why are we judged for it?

• 39:15Speaker 01

  I wouldn't judge you. If you played Christmas music right now, I'd be like, oh, yeah, it's July or August.

• 39:19Speaker 02

  Sorry, Fruitcake by Sabrina Carpenter is my year-long album.

• 39:22Speaker 01

  It's a great album.

• 39:23Speaker 02

  Whoa, Cindy Lou, I'm blasting it.

• 39:26Speaker 01

  I like the one that's like, uh, the Christmas nonsense.

• 39:29Speaker 02

  Love, wait, um, uh, Buy Me Presents.

• 39:32Speaker 01

  Buy Me Presents.

• 39:33Speaker 02

  Also, Christmas nonsense. They also do that.

• 39:34Speaker 01

  You, okay, you know what is a, I guess this isn't an underrated Christmas song, but I remember when it came out, "Nobody Moved But I Moved," Santa Tell Me by Ariana Grande.

• 39:44Speaker 02

  I mean, come on, wake up.

• 39:46Speaker 01

  Wake up.

• 39:46Speaker 02

  Wake up, Santa, tell me, what if you're really there? Come on, woo!

• 39:51Speaker 01

  Don't make me fall in love with you, and you're gonna be here, right here.

• 39:57Speaker 02

  Whoa!

• 39:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:58Speaker 02

  I'm sorry, that was mo- that changed lives. Mine-

• 40:02Speaker 01

  I mean, that, yeah.

• 40:04Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 40:05Speaker 01

  What's your favorite Christmas song of all time?

• 40:07Speaker 02

  I love Buy Me Presents so much, and I love Cindy Lou. Okay, but also, I love Santa Tell, oh, oh, oh, oh. You know what I've really gotten into recently?

• 40:16Speaker 01

  What?

• 40:16Speaker 02

  It's so funny, cuz it's August, but I really got into, in July, I got into, um, "Santa, Can You Hear Me."

• 40:23Speaker 01

  By who?

• 40:24Speaker 02

  Kelly Clarkson, featuring Ariana Grande.

• 40:27Speaker 01

  What?

• 40:29Speaker 02

  Is that it?

• 40:31Speaker 01

  It's, oh, was this from The Voice era?

• 40:33Speaker 02

  It is The Voice era, of course. It is so good.

• 40:37Speaker 01

  When was it released, Owen? Yep, Voice era.

• 40:40Speaker 02

  It's delish. Would you ever host The Voice?

• 40:44Speaker 01

  No, because I would be like, you sound great, I guess.

• 40:47Speaker 02

  Oh, you're, you're, you're completely tone deaf.

• 40:49Speaker 01

  I would just be like, sure.

• 40:51Speaker 02

  So, you would press any button?

• 40:52Speaker 01

  And I would get stressed out, and then I'd be like, wait, why are they pressing their buttons and I'm not? Like, I would have no actual ground to stand on. Would you ever host The Voice?

• 41:00Speaker 02

  Oh my God, I would die to be in a swivel chair.

• 41:03Speaker 01

  They should do The Voice for stand-up comics.

• 41:05Speaker 02

  I wouldn't do that. I'd be horrible at that. Cuz I would, I, I kind of like-

• 41:09Speaker 01

  And then if you win, you get a special on Netflix. Wow. Hi!

• 41:13Speaker 02

  Wait, hi!

• 41:14Speaker 01

  Genius. Is that not genius?

• 41:16Speaker 02

  That's actually genius.

• 41:18Speaker 01

  Sorry. Oh, really? Last comic standing. Oh.

• 41:21Speaker 02

  So you did create a show that exists.

• 41:23Speaker 01

  All right, whatever.

• 41:24Speaker 02

  But can we, that's what, that's, that's what brainstorming is.

• 41:27Speaker 01

  That's what making a joke is.

• 41:30Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 41:31Speaker 01

  We can't tell you, should we tell them our laid off joke?

• 41:34Speaker 02

  No, because we have to explain the whole thing.

• 41:36Speaker 01

  We have to explain the joke and it's not funny if we explain it, but it's really funny.

• 41:38Speaker 02

  Wait, can I just say something that I was really laughing at the other day?

• 41:41Speaker 01

  What?

• 41:41Speaker 02

  I came up to Jake's house and I'm sitting down on this exact, actually in this exact seat. And Jake goes, oh my God, I need to show you my maga, magazine collection. And then he shows me this magazine that he got when he was in New York. It's the Knicks.

• 41:58Speaker 01

  It's awesome.

• 41:59Speaker 02

  But I just love that you love it so much.

• 42:01Speaker 01

  I'm glad I love it because that magazine, this is, this magazine is in 20 years going to be like something that everyone wants.

• 42:12Speaker 02

  I agree.

• 42:13Speaker 01

  So you have Jalen Brunson on the cover. It's good to be king because at the time, I mean, right, I mean, as, he is the king of New York right now.

• 42:19Speaker 02

  He is, he is, he is.

• 42:20Speaker 01

  On the back, a Damna Gooch ad.

• 42:22Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 42:24Speaker 01

  Like, and then, I mean, at this point, should I show you my magazine?

• 42:27Speaker 02

  See, this is what I'm saying, this is what I'm saying. He shows magazines.

• 42:31Speaker 01

  And then, so this is my paparazzi book that I got at the East Saint Laurent. They have like a thrift store.

• 42:36Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 42:37Speaker 01

  Have you heard about this, Jared? Yes, they have like a, they have like a thrift, they, like, they sell like old shit there.

• 42:44Speaker 02

  Is it, is it great?

• 42:45Speaker 01

  It's cool. I got this there, it's like a book on the history of paparazzi, it's really cool. And then I also bought an old Interview magazine.

• 42:52Speaker 02

  Oh my God, that is iconic.

• 42:55Speaker 01

  And then I bought an old Interview magazine with Brad Pitt.

• 42:57Speaker 02

  That is iconic.

• 43:00Speaker 01

  Then I have the Interview magazine that I am in.

• 43:04Speaker 02

  That is iconic.

• 43:05Speaker 01

  And then I have Faye Dunaway interviewed by Andy Warhol from 1981.

• 43:13Speaker 02

  These are unbelievable magazines.

• 43:14Speaker 01

  No, they're very good.

• 43:15Speaker 02

  This is a great magazine stack.

• 43:17Speaker 01

  It's a, it's, yeah, it's, it's pretty awesome.

• 43:19Speaker 02

  It's amazing.

• 43:20Speaker 01

  And at, at the top is the Jalen Brunson one because I, I, cause, well, also if you pass any place in New York, they sell it.

• 43:28Speaker 02

  Still this, still?

• 43:29Speaker 01

  King of New York. If you go to, um, you know what I, who I saw, Gracie Abrams did like a cover of, uh, like a magazine or something and?

• 43:38Speaker 02

  I, I, I saw that and then she posted it. I literally walked by and then she posted it two minutes later and I was like, is she here? Gracie, hello?

• 43:44Speaker 01

  Gracie.

• 43:45Speaker 02

  Gracie, I love Gracie.

• 43:46Speaker 01

  Gracie.

• 43:47Speaker 02

  Oh my God, her album.

• 43:49Speaker 01

  Talk about a great album. What's your favorite song on that album?

• 43:52Speaker 02

  Well, I, I know you like minibar.

• 43:54Speaker 01

  I like minibar and I like Look at My Life. And by the way, when she, she came on the show and I heard that whole album and I heard Look at My Life and I said, this is the best song I've ever heard in my entire life.

• 44:02Speaker 02

  I love Look at My Life.

• 44:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:04Speaker 02

  Um, what else is there that I like from that album? I love Daughter from Hell.

• 44:07Speaker 01

  I love Daughter from Hell, I love, um, I love Hit the Wall, I know that was a single, but I do love Hit the Wall and I love, um, oh, you give me the tracklist.

• 44:15Speaker 02

  Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, it's the first up of my thing, of course. Um, okay, I love The Knife.

• 44:21Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 44:22Speaker 02

  Get into The Knife, baby.

• 44:23Speaker 01

  I need to get into The Knife.

• 44:24Speaker 02

  I love Good Reason.

• 44:26Speaker 01

  Good Reason, that's it.

• 44:28Speaker 02

  Good Reason, dude, you didn't give me a good reason.

• 44:31Speaker 01

  Good Reason's the best one.

• 44:33Speaker 02

  I'm listening and loving it. I love Gracie Abrams. Ooh, can I just explain one more thing and then I'll be done? Okay, there's this thing that I've invented, I actually told, talked to you about this last time, I think on your podcast, I don't remember, but it's called the front follow. And basically, if you think someone's hot, you'll be really good at this.

• 44:50Speaker 01

  Okay, tell me, tell me.

• 44:51Speaker 02

  So I was with my friend, my friend was like, oh my God, that guy's so hot. So what you do is you walk in front of them, okay? But you're kind of guessing where they're going, cause you wanna like, you wanna see them three or four times on, this really only happens in New York. But you wanna see them three or four times around Soho, bump into them at a coffee shop, bump into them in the next store. Do you get what I'm saying?

• 45:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:12Speaker 02

  So that they see your face and that they recognize you and then the next store, they're like, oh my God, this is so funny, hi.

• 45:16Speaker 01

  But how do you know where they're going if they're in the front?

• 45:18Speaker 02

  So, no, we're in the front, so you have to guess. And then if you go into the right store, it's like meant to be. It's so much fun. So I'm really bad at it, cause I, I also have ADD, so I just like go into stores that I wanna go into.

• 45:29Speaker 01

  And a long-term boyfriend.

• 45:30Speaker 02

  And a long-term boyfriend, um, which makes this whole thing hard.

• 45:35Speaker 02

  But it's really fun, you should try it. Because then you both end up in acne and you're like, wait, this is meant to be.

• 45:41Speaker 01

  There's nothing better than like a real life meet cute.

• 45:47Speaker 02

  That's exactly what I'm creating.

• 45:49Speaker 01

  The only time that's ever happened to me was on an airplane.

• 45:52Speaker 02

  Tell me.

• 45:52Speaker 01

  I was coming back from Portland and some guy dropped a thing in my lap and it was like, you're really cute, here's my number. I'm like, oh my God, I'm, oh my, Manny, do you remember this?

• 46:02Speaker 02

  What?

• 46:03Speaker 01

  And I'm like, oh my God, this is like, I am Cameron Diaz in a rom-com. Like, this is like the best day of my entire life. I'm Kate Hudson. Totally. And so I go, I get in the car on the way home and I text him and he goes, hey, are you still at the airport? Like, I have a layover. And I'm like, what? He wanted to like fuck in the airport bathroom.

• 46:22Speaker 02

  Would you have done it?

• 46:24Speaker 01

  If I had a layover, you wouldn't have had to ask me twice.

• 46:27Speaker 02

  Totally. Ass up.

• 46:30Speaker 01

  Ass up.

• 46:31Speaker 02

  Ass up, door locked.

• 46:33Speaker 01

  Locked, because I'm like, at this point, like, what else?

• 46:35Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 46:36Speaker 01

  At this point, what else?

• 46:37Speaker 02

  What else do we have to live for, other than getting railed in an airport?

• 46:40Speaker 01

  What, okay, if you had to think, like, what time, okay, so 2026.

• 46:46Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 46:46Speaker 01

  A lot of people are saying, we had a moment where it was like the 2000s are back, do you think it's like 90s era right now?

• 46:53Speaker 02

  Like fashion wise?

• 46:54Speaker 01

  Vibe wise.

• 46:55Speaker 02

  Vibe wise.

• 46:56Speaker 01

  Cause I would say vibe wise, and I wouldn't have jumped down my throat for saying this, but I kind of think we're like going vibe wise, like 70s into 80s. Not fashion wise, I just feel it a little bit, like.

• 47:11Speaker 02

  Wait, why, why, why, everyone's smoking cigs?

• 47:13Speaker 01

  Because, let me, everyone's smoking cigarettes, but I think the pop star is the modern day rock band.

• 47:20Speaker 02

  Pop star is a modern day rock band, okay.

• 47:22Speaker 01

  So like, back in the 80s and the 70s, you had a lot of like these like rock bands emerging. No, but you had a lot of rock bands emerging and a lot of groupies, like.

• 47:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:30Speaker 01

  Pop star groupie culture was also like rock star groupie culture. In my mind, it's how I view it. So, like, uh, should we just get into the tell me what's wrongs?

• 47:44Speaker 02

  No, no, but I get what you're saying, but I wanna know, so 70s, because everyone's like kind of out on the streets?

• 47:49Speaker 01

  Everyone's like a hippie, everyone's like fuck consumerism, but then like we're leading into the 80s, everyone wants to party, party, party, party, party, party, party.

• 47:57Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 47:57Speaker 01

  And Jared, what do you think?

• 47:59Speaker 06

  I couldn't agree more.

• 48:00Speaker 02

  Wait, really?

• 48:01Speaker 06

  I mean, honestly, yeah, I feel like it is late 70s into 80s.

• 48:04Speaker 02

  Wait, Jared really agrees.

• 48:06Speaker 01

  I win.

• 48:08Speaker 02

  Jared, I love when you agree. When Jared agrees, it is really gratifying.

• 48:13Speaker 01

  And you both went to NYU.

• 48:15Speaker 06

  He went to Parsons, I went to NYU.

• 48:16Speaker 01

  Oh, Parsons. Was Emma the first person, sorry, I'm talking to Jared, was Emma the first person you ever worked with?

• 48:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, ever.

• 48:24Speaker 01

  And how did that happen?

• 48:26Speaker 06

  I worked at a magazine and I styled her there and it was like pure joy and then she reached out, right, like the magazine folded and as it folded, her team reached out.

• 48:36Speaker 01

  What magazine was it?

• 48:36Speaker 06

  Garage magazine.

• 48:38Speaker 02

  Have you, do you know Garage magazine? It's amazing, so, so cool.

• 48:41Speaker 06

  You would love their. ID's sister.

• 48:42Speaker 01

  Got it.

• 48:43Speaker 06

  Hmm. And then, that was it. And she was a baby, she was like 19.

• 48:48Speaker 01

  Wow. What magazine in your both minds has stood the test of time?

• 48:55Speaker 01

  I think Interview.

• 48:56Speaker 06

  I was gonna, that's probably the only one.

• 48:58Speaker 02

  Unbelievable.

• 48:59Speaker 01

  And I'll tell you why Interview's done so well is because they've hit the social game really well. The way that like, I swipe through an Instagram or, or an interview Instagram post because it's like the way their graphics are done are very well and they, and they've had the same format, I had no idea since it started, which was like friends interviewing friends, those.

• 49:21Speaker 02

  I mean, that's brilliant.

• 49:22Speaker 01

  It's brilliant.

• 49:23Speaker 02

  That's brilliant.

• 49:23Speaker 01

  And it used, and it's like, I'm like, this magazine is like Andy Warhol interviewing like whoever.

• 49:28Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 49:28Speaker 01

  And it's always been that way.

• 49:30Speaker 06

  They kind of led the way. Like, that's, that's.

• 49:33Speaker 01

  You think so?

• 49:34Speaker 06

  Yeah, cause I feel like everyone does that now.

• 49:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, everyone does that.

• 49:37Speaker 01

  They do.

• 49:37Speaker 02

  Every magazine is like Jake Shane interviewing Owen Thiel.

• 49:40Speaker 06

  Which, by the way, wait.

• 49:41Speaker 01

  Interview Mel.

• 49:42Speaker 06

  Wait, I'm pitching?

• 49:43Speaker 02

  Mel.

• 49:43Speaker 06

  Wait, I just pitched, I just pitched that.

• 49:45Speaker 01

  Right.

• 49:45Speaker 06

  Just now. To Mel, Mel.

• 49:47Speaker 01

  Mel.

• 49:49Speaker 01

  We're, we have to do that.

• 49:50Speaker 02

  We have to do that.

• 49:50Speaker 01

  And then when our movie comes out, we'll do a joint photo shoot, but who's gonna interview us?

• 49:56Speaker 02

  I think we have to shoot for the stars, I think we gotta get Barack.

• 50:03Speaker 02

  Not kidding, us with Barack.

• 50:05Speaker 01

  Does he watch adults?

• 50:07Speaker 02

  Barack Obama?

• 50:08Speaker 01

  You, see, you, you look at me and you're like, what? Have you seen his summer playlist? There's some stuff on there that I'm like, no way.

• 50:14Speaker 02

  I don't, I don't know. I hope, but also, I hope.

• 50:21Speaker 02

  I, this season, I'm, I have some intimate scenes, so I would, I would, it feels like, it feels like my father watching.

• 50:28Speaker 01

  Are you nude this season?

• 50:30Speaker 02

  Um, I'm nude-ish, not, I'm nude-ish.

• 50:34Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 50:34Speaker 02

  I'm not nude, but I'm doing things that I could be nude.

• 50:39Speaker 01

  You could be nude. What was different about filming season two to season one?

• 50:43Speaker 02

  We were just actual, I mean, season one, we were becoming best friends and then season two, we were like, we actually just knew the dynamic and we, we sunk back into like being, you know, real friends.

• 50:54Speaker 01

  Doing things like improv easier?

• 50:56Speaker 02

  So much easier.

• 50:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:58Speaker 02

  So much easier. Because like Amitha and I in a scene, that's like my actual best friend.

• 51:02Speaker 01

  Right.

• 51:03Speaker 02

  So now we're just playing, you know what I mean, we're just having fun.

• 51:07Speaker 01

  And do you, is there an episode in this coming season that you're like, this to me, I'm so proud of like my improvisation work?

• 51:17Speaker 02

  Well, you know what's so funny? Ben and Rebecca, the creators of Adults, they write such brilliant scripts that actually sometimes I'm like, don't improvise. I'm like, I shouldn't improvise, cause this is so well-written, I would, it would actually be taking away from the joke.

• 51:32Speaker 01

  But you could do both.

• 51:33Speaker 02

  You could do both. I feel like there's a, an episode, episode four, it's called Raccoon, um, and the, there, the premise is a, a raccoon has been, has been trapped in our house with us and we're on acid.

• 51:49Speaker 01

  Ooh, have you ever taken acid?

• 51:50Speaker 02

  Never.

• 51:51Speaker 01

  Neither have I.

• 51:52Speaker 02

  Should we, right now?

• 51:53Speaker 01

  So here's my thing about acid. Acid is the one thing I get scared to touch.

• 51:57Speaker 02

  Why? Cause the brain?

• 51:58Speaker 01

  The brain.

• 51:59Speaker 02

  I'm scared to be in the constant loop of the, the acid brain or whatever it's called.

• 52:03Speaker 01

  Well, I've just heard of situations where people have taken acid and then they never come out.

• 52:07Speaker 02

  That's what I'm saying.

• 52:08Speaker 01

  Like, that bugs me out.

• 52:09Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 52:10Speaker 01

  Wait, I'm, by the way, extraordinarily excited to go out with you tonight.

• 52:15Speaker 02

  I can't wait.

• 52:16Speaker 01

  No, Owen?

• 52:17Speaker 02

  I literally can't wait.

• 52:18Speaker 01

  And I, Ryan right now, like on that FaceTime, he is on such good form and so is Peyton, like you're gonna wake up and be, and be like, I've never drank like that before in my entire life.

• 52:31Speaker 02

  I'm scared.

• 52:32Speaker 01

  No, don't be. It's fine. It's fun.

• 52:36Speaker 01

  Okay, well, let's get into the tell me what's wrongs, because talk about all over the place.

• 52:39Speaker 02

  Well, totally. Tell me what's wrong, girl.

• 52:42Speaker 01

  I have fallen out of sexual attraction to my spouse. Like, we're still genuinely best friends, but that's kind of the thing. He's giving me these weird friend vibes now. I don't want to have sex with him anymore, and that's kind of awkward, because we just moved in together and have been together forever. Um, what do I do?

• 52:59Speaker 02

  Invite a third.

• 53:01Speaker 01

  Right? Like, invite a third.

• 53:02Speaker 02

  Tot- well, you know my threesome story.

• 53:04Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, your threesome story is awesome.

• 53:06Speaker 02

  I got so bored during my threesome that I had to ultimately go and do a skincare routine.

• 53:17Speaker 01

  While Jared was-

• 53:18Speaker 02

  While Jared finished the deed. And then I walked in, skin glowing after my collagen face mask 20 minutes. And I walked in and I go, "You guys done?" He goes, "Yeah, we just finished." I said, "Great, and I'll see you out."

• 53:30Speaker 01

  Well, you know, my favorite story of yours is the first time you and Jared had sex and you had to pause to listen to the new Adele album?

• 53:34Speaker 02

  Well, of course. 25 had just dropped. I go, "Well, River Leah, gotta listen to what she's saying."

• 53:41Speaker 01

  This is Emily.

• 53:42Speaker 02

  Hi.

• 53:44Speaker 01

  Don't apologize. I love your pants.

• 53:47Speaker 02

  She's so cute.

• 53:48Speaker 01

  So I would invite a third.

• 53:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, I would invite a third.

• 53:51Speaker 01

  Because they're still your best friend. Like, that's your partner.

• 53:54Speaker 02

  Role play. Have you ever done that?

• 53:56Speaker 01

  I've never had the opportunity to do that.

• 53:58Speaker 02

  I think that's fun. Like, going to a bar, sitting in a bar, your spouse walks in, you go, "Hi, I'm Ivanka."

• 54:05Speaker 01

  Have you guys ever done that?

• 54:06Speaker 02

  We've never done that. We've never done that, but I'm gonna be Ivanka tonight.

• 54:09Speaker 01

  Do you think, do you think you, like, could do it?

• 54:13Speaker 02

  Hundred percent. Put me in a wig. Put me in a wig! I'll be anything.

• 54:16Speaker 01

  Wait, I really want you guys to do that just so I can hear about it.

• 54:19Speaker 02

  Wait, also, you can watch it.

• 54:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'll be at the bar.

• 54:22Speaker 02

  Fuck it.

• 54:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:23Speaker 02

  You're silvering us drinks?

• 54:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm like, "So what do you guys want? Do you guys know each other? You feel like you've known each other forever."

• 54:28Speaker 02

  I go, "No." I have an accent, "No, we don't."

• 54:31Speaker 01

  My best friend cheated on his fiance, and no one knows that I know. His fiance found out and is- okay, wait.

• 54:39Speaker 02

  Go back. What?

• 54:40Speaker 01

  My best friend cheated on his fiance, and no one knows that I know. His fiance found out and is staying with him. Well, that makes sense, because they are engaged.

• 54:51Speaker 02

  Engaged, yeah.

• 54:52Speaker 01

  Even though this is the second time he's cheated. I've been low-key ignoring them, because I desperately want them to break up, but don't want to give away that I know about the cheating.

• 55:01Speaker 02

  Wait, keep going. Keep reading.

• 55:03Speaker 01

  Should I just ignore them or confess and tell them to break up? Like, the wedding is soon. Why are you making this about yourself?

• 55:09Speaker 02

  Uh, leave it alone.

• 55:10Speaker 01

  Leave it alone. Never get involved in someone else's relationship.

• 55:12Speaker 02

  Because guess what? What if, what if, what if they're open? Well, they're not.

• 55:16Speaker 01

  Well, they're not.

• 55:17Speaker 02

  They're not. Um, I wouldn't do anything about that.

• 55:19Speaker 01

  I would talk shit about it with other people and be like, "Can you believe that they-"

• 55:22Speaker 02

  Totally. I'd start a group chat about it.

• 55:24Speaker 01

  I'd be like, "Can you believe that this is going on? This is so insane, but it's none of my business."

• 55:28Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 55:29Speaker 01

  Why make it your business?

• 55:30Speaker 02

  I would talk so much shit that probably it would end up getting back to, to, to her.

• 55:34Speaker 01

  Right.

• 55:34Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 55:36Speaker 01

  Has that ever happened to you?

• 55:37Speaker 02

  No.

• 55:38Speaker 01

  Oh, that's happened to me.

• 55:39Speaker 02

  Really?

• 55:40Speaker 01

  So many times, Owen.

• 55:43Speaker 02

  Wait, is it- and French bending?

• 55:46Speaker 01

  No.

• 55:46Speaker 02

  Conversation starting.

• 55:48Speaker 01

  Because, because I always say, "Yeah, I did that, and I'm sorry."

• 55:53Speaker 02

  You own up to it.

• 55:54Speaker 01

  Because really, if somebody calls you and they're like, "I heard you've been talking shit," and you say, "Yeah, I have. I'm sorry."

• 56:00Speaker 02

  I'm sorry. Also, I'm hurt by this.

• 56:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:02Speaker 02

  This thing.

• 56:03Speaker 01

  I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm. It's always I'm.

• 56:06Speaker 02

  Totally. I'm, I'm, I'm.

• 56:08Speaker 01

  If you go to them and you're like, "You, you, you," they'll be like, "I can't out of that."

• 56:11Speaker 02

  Wait. At Crossroads School, the high school that I went to, there was this, there was this thing that they used to make us do. It was-

• 56:21Speaker 02

  Wait, what was it? I don't use it clearly. But it's like, really, it's, it's a formal way to, to, to tell someone you're, they're, you're hurt.

• 56:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's, I-

• 56:31Speaker 02

  I feel-

• 56:32Speaker 01

  I feel hurt by this, because, and I learned this in volleyball, when another team was upset, that they, you, like, objectively cannot tell somebody that the way they are feeling is wrong.

• 56:48Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 56:49Speaker 01

  You can't, it's like, in a-

• 56:50Speaker 02

  Well, it's their feelings.

• 56:51Speaker 01

  It's like, you can't be like, "You're wrong. What do you mean?" That's how they feel.

• 56:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:55Speaker 01

  So like, you can't say that. So if you tell someone, "I feel this way," they can't be like, "Well, that's not true. What do you mean? Are you inside my mind? That's how I feel."

• 57:04Speaker 02

  That's actually my biggest fight with my, with my, my dad. I love you, dad. Is him being like, "You don't actually feel that way," and me being like, "I do! I swear. Go inside."

• 57:15Speaker 01

  I wonder who says that to me. Well, usually, if they're like, "You don't feel that way," they're like, they're right.

• 57:20Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 57:21Speaker 01

  Like, Zach will be like, "I know this is not-" Or he'll be like, "You feel this way, but it's about something else."

• 57:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're bearing the lead.

• 57:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:29Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 57:30Speaker 01

  I went on a date with this guy, and he asked me if Louisiana was a state.

• 57:36Speaker 02

  Wait, it sounds so hot.

• 57:37Speaker 01

  Yeah. It gave me the biggest ick. Do I give him a second chance? He also followed it up and asked if Utah was in Colorado.

• 57:45Speaker 02

  Okay, no. This, no.

• 57:46Speaker 01

  He's cute, but is this just too far removed from reality? Dash, mark with a C.

• 57:52Speaker 02

  No, it, it's not. Far removed from reality? He doesn't know anything.

• 57:58Speaker 01

  I'm gonna give him a bit of grace.

• 57:59Speaker 02

  Well, of course.

• 58:00Speaker 01

  Because like, you know, they, like, there are, like, what if, I know. Okay, so the Louisiana state thing, I can get past. Utah and Colorado is crazy.

• 58:12Speaker 02

  I actually think the other way around. I'm like, Louisiana, he could think was a city?

• 58:17Speaker 01

  Actually, yeah, that's, that's pretty crazy. Louisiana, like, in the song?

• 58:22Speaker 02

  Wait, what is that?

• 58:23Speaker 01

  Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut. You've never heard this?

• 58:29Speaker 02

  It's stunning. Who wrote this?

• 58:31Speaker 01

  Delaware, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan.

• 58:41Speaker 02

  Wait, is that in the right order?

• 58:43Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. It's like the alphabets for the states. And I don't know the rest.

• 58:49Speaker 02

  I love that. I was never taught that. No.

• 58:52Speaker 01

  Look, the only reason I have grace, and a lot of people online are like, "He truly cannot be this dim." And look, I, I'm, I'm not dim, but because I was raised between New York and LA, I, I just inherently was a tad bit out of touch with, like, the geographics of the world. So I did think Florida was at the top of the map for a very long period of my life.

• 59:12Speaker 02

  Uh-huh.

• 59:13Speaker 01

  Like, in a very real way. I thought it went like, New York, Florida.

• 59:19Speaker 02

  Oh, because, you know what? That, to me, makes sense. Because everyone here in New York is like, "Oh, my God, we'll just pop over to Florida. It seems like it's next door."

• 59:29Speaker 01

  It just feels like it's gonna go, uh, like, down feels like Alaska.

• 59:35Speaker 01

  Anything down feels like Alaska. We just need to go to the next one.

• 59:39Speaker 02

  No, but I-

• 59:41Speaker 01

  Also, like, yeah, I don't know. That to me, also, like, the only thing about this tell me what's wrong that I have a problem with is like, how hot is he?

• 59:50Speaker 02

  To- well, we need to see a pic. I always need to see a pic. If somebody doesn't sound like they can have a conversation with you, I gotta at least see a pic.

• 59:59Speaker 01

  I'm so sorry. If Connor Story was sitting here and was like, "Is Louisiana a state?" I'd be like, "Who cares?"

• 1:00:03Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 1:00:04Speaker 01

  I'd be like, "Who gives a fuck?"

• 1:00:05Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 1:00:06Speaker 01

  I'd be like, "You're Connor Story."

• 1:00:08Speaker 02

  It doesn't matter what you-

• 1:00:08Speaker 01

  So how hot is this person? It just really depends.

• 1:00:11Speaker 02

  Right, right, right. What if they're, what if they are really, really hot?

• 1:00:16Speaker 01

  Uh-huh.

• 1:00:17Speaker 02

  Um, uh, a really hot body, but a chopped face?

• 1:00:26Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:00:29Speaker 01

  Like, how hot's the body?

• 1:00:31Speaker 02

  T, t as fuck.

• 1:00:33Speaker 01

  Doesn't matter.

• 1:00:34Speaker 02

  You don't care. You don't care about Louisiana being, not being a state, they think.

• 1:00:39Speaker 01

  Wait, wait, wait.

• 1:00:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:42Speaker 01

  I thought we were saying, really great body, ugly face.

• 1:00:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, and, and dumb.

• 1:00:49Speaker 01

  That's pushing it.

• 1:00:51Speaker 01

  That's really pushing it.

• 1:00:54Speaker 01

  Would you prefer a hot body or a hot face?

• 1:00:56Speaker 02

  Hot face.

• 1:00:57Speaker 01

  Always hot face.

• 1:00:58Speaker 02

  Hot face.

• 1:00:58Speaker 01

  Always hot face.

• 1:00:59Speaker 02

  Who cares?

• 1:01:00Speaker 01

  I love that bod.

• 1:01:02Speaker 02

  Love. Give me a little stomach.

• 1:01:05Speaker 01

  Give me something to-

• 1:01:07Speaker 02

  Grab on to.

• 1:01:08Speaker 01

  Right, like-

• 1:01:08Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 1:01:10Speaker 01

  I'm slowly starting to hate my roommates. I'm single, and they live together as a couple. Oh, Jesus Christ. That doesn't bother me as much as the constant being out of the living room, cooking for every meal, so there's always dishes, and now adopting a second cat that I will undoubtedly have to take care of sometimes. I've just gone into another year lease with them. Well, that's-

• 1:01:29Speaker 02

  Well, that's on you.

• 1:01:30Speaker 01

  And can't afford a move right now.

• 1:01:32Speaker 02

  Oh, totally. That's, that's not on you anymore.

• 1:01:35Speaker 01

  I don't even really need advice. I just want to rant.

• 1:01:39Speaker 02

  Oh, I totally get it. DM me. I love a rant. DM, I love-

• 1:01:43Speaker 01

  Do you know I'm in group chat? Sometimes, like, have you ever been put in a group chat where people are talking about you? And you're in the group chat, and it's like with, like, random people that follow you, and they're like, talking about you?

• 1:01:54Speaker 02

  Wait, never in my life has this happened to me, and I need it to happen now, now, now.

• 1:01:58Speaker 01

  It's kind of awesome.

• 1:01:59Speaker 02

  Wait, obsessed. No, I love being added to group chats where people are planning things. Like, I was just added to this group chat where someone's planning their-

• 1:02:07Speaker 01

  And you're in it randomly?

• 1:02:07Speaker 02

  21st birthday, and I'm in it? They just added me to it?

• 1:02:09Speaker 01

  I read, I read sometimes.

• 1:02:10Speaker 02

  I'm re- they're getting mad at each other.

• 1:02:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's-

• 1:02:13Speaker 02

  They're like, "No, I don't want margaritas. I really want-" I'm like, "Yes, fight for what you want."

• 1:02:19Speaker 01

  The best is when they send, like, they'll, like, I'm randomly in there. Sometimes I'll randomly be in people's friend group, group chats on Instagram, and they'll like, send people that they know that I have no idea who they are, and they'll like, be talking shit about them.

• 1:02:31Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm always reading. Oh, yeah.

• 1:02:32Speaker 01

  It's very interesting. But in terms of this person and your lease, like, if you can't get out, you should force them out.

• 1:02:41Speaker 02

  Oh, interesting.

• 1:02:42Speaker 01

  Like, just be like, you, like, clean up. Start throwing fights, make new friends, and get those new friends to like, take your side and be like, clean up.

• 1:02:50Speaker 02

  I think you should just have this person here at your house. Just host them.

• 1:02:53Speaker 01

  Me?

• 1:02:54Speaker 02

  Yeah. Open up your room to them, Jake.

• 1:02:57Speaker 01

  Open your heart to me.

• 1:02:59Speaker 02

  What song is that?

• 1:03:00Speaker 01

  Baby.

• 1:03:04Speaker 02

  What song is that?

• 1:03:06Speaker 01

  Open your heart to me, baby.

• 1:03:10Speaker 02

  What song is that?

• 1:03:11Speaker 01

  Something Madonna.

• 1:03:13Speaker 02

  It's so good.

• 1:03:14Speaker 01

  Ooh, talk about good album. Confessions 2 is amazing.

• 1:03:17Speaker 02

  Amate.

• 1:03:20Speaker 02

  Sabrina.

• 1:03:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:22Speaker 02

  Madonna.

• 1:03:23Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:03:24Speaker 02

  I got something I wanna talk about. It's so hot.

• 1:03:28Speaker 01

  It's like, have you heard the song Fragile?

• 1:03:30Speaker 02

  That, by the way, no.

• 1:03:31Speaker 01

  Oh, it's the last one.

• 1:03:32Speaker 02

  What is that?

• 1:03:33Speaker 01

  Fragile. I know you've been hurt, been let down.

• 1:03:38Speaker 02

  I have to be totally honest.

• 1:03:39Speaker 01

  Have you ever heard of- Taking this is making me not want to listen to it. No, 100%. Have you ever heard, okay, so Manny has her favorite Madonna song of all time. What is it, Manny? American Life. Okay. And someone give Manny the mic very quickly, because I need you to do the rap.

• 1:03:54Speaker 07

  I don't know all of it. I'm drinking a soy latte. I get a double chate. It goes right through my body and you know I'm satisfied. I drive my Mini Cooper and I'm feeling super duper. Yo, they tell me I'm a trooper and you know I'm satisfied. I do yoga and Pilates and the room is full of hotties. So I'm checking out the bodies and you know I'm satisfied. I'm digging on the isotopes, beneficent. Shit is dope. And if this, and if all this can give me hope, you know I'm satisfied. I got a lawyer and a manager and agent and a chef. Three nannies and assistant, a driver and a jet, a trainer, a butler, a bodyguard, a five, a gardener and a stylist. Do you think I'm satisfied? I'd like to express my, I'd like to express my extreme point of view. I'm not a Christian and I'm not a Jew. I'm just living.

• 1:04:32Speaker 01

  Wait, that part's amazing.

• 1:04:36Speaker 07

  I'm just living out the American dream and I just realized that nothing is what it seems.

• 1:04:42Speaker 02

  Do you know what's so beautiful about that?

• 1:04:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:44Speaker 02

  She, that's, first of all, wow, that was a tour de force.

• 1:04:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was amazing.

• 1:04:49Speaker 02

  No, that was a tour de force. Um, there's something beautiful about her being like, I have a trainer, I have a trainer, a chef. Uh, uh, uh, this and, and, and then it ends with, do you think I'm satisfied? It's like, no.

• 1:05:03Speaker 01

  No. What's your favorite Madonna song of all time?

• 1:05:07Speaker 02

  That's really hard.

• 1:05:08Speaker 01

  I'm just gonna be basic. Mine is Like a Prayer.

• 1:05:11Speaker 02

  I mean, Like a Prayer is amazing.

• 1:05:12Speaker 01

  Because I do love like a gospel song. Like I love when a gospel choir gets involved. Talk about jealous gospel edition.

• 1:05:18Speaker 02

  I am obsessed with gospel music recently.

• 1:05:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's amazing.

• 1:05:23Speaker 02

  I am obsessed with it.

• 1:05:25Speaker 01

  It's amazing.

• 1:05:25Speaker 02

  You know, I was adopted at birth. Do you know this about me?

• 1:05:27Speaker 01

  I do know that about you.

• 1:05:28Speaker 02

  And my birth father was a preacher.

• 1:05:30Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:05:31Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:05:32Speaker 01

  Do you keep in touch?

• 1:05:33Speaker 02

  No, not at all. Um, but I think it's in me.

• 1:05:35Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:05:35Speaker 02

  The gospel music.

• 1:05:36Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:05:37Speaker 02

  The preach.

• 1:05:38Speaker 01

  I think like, I saw Jared sit up when I said jealous gospel version. Do you know what I'm talking about? With Nick Jonas? When they, he has the whole.

• 1:05:47Speaker 02

  Oh, yes!

• 1:05:48Speaker 01

  When he has the whole choir singing jealous.

• 1:05:50Speaker 02

  Of course!

• 1:05:51Speaker 01

  So let me put you onto something underrated.

• 1:05:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:54Speaker 01

  There is a band called Laundry Day.

• 1:05:56Speaker 02

  Of course, you know.

• 1:05:58Speaker 01

  And they have a song called something like, uh, Around the World or whatever.

• 1:06:03Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:06:04Speaker 01

  And they sing it with a gospel choir and it's nowhere on streaming and it is quite literally the best thing I've ever heard in my entire life. It's beautiful.

• 1:06:10Speaker 02

  I need to get into it.

• 1:06:12Speaker 01

  I'm upside down.

• 1:06:16Speaker 01

  Other side of the world. Other side of the world.

• 1:06:18Speaker 02

  Well, okay, so there's this video, but I might get cancelled for this because I, I think it is AI. But.

• 1:06:25Speaker 01

  That's fine. You know what, there's, you know what else is AI?

• 1:06:27Speaker 02

  What?

• 1:06:28Speaker 01

  First time in San Juan.

• 1:06:31Speaker 02

  Come on, hey! Capital of Puerto Rico.

• 1:06:37Speaker 01

  The whole plane.

• 1:06:38Speaker 02

  That's when we landed.

• 1:06:41Speaker 01

  Immediately was enchanted.

• 1:06:45Speaker 02

  It's so good.

• 1:06:45Speaker 01

  It's so good.

• 1:06:46Speaker 02

  Oh, I love this song. Ready?

• 1:06:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:56Speaker 02

  And it's a baby.

• 1:06:58Speaker 01

  And this is AI?

• 1:07:04Speaker 02

  I love it. Don't play with me. What? God on my side. It's sick.

• 1:07:10Speaker 01

  I'm turning 32 this year and am single. Dating apps are so fucking bleak and any cute guy I do meet is taken or gay.

• 1:07:19Speaker 01

  Everyone keeps telling me I'll find a cute one when I least expect it, but that feels like total BS. I'm considering signing up for one of those married at, married at first sight shows. Do not do that.

• 1:07:27Speaker 02

  Don't do that.

• 1:07:28Speaker 01

  At this point. Should I look into it or keep trying? I would like to ask you a question.

• 1:07:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, please.

• 1:07:33Speaker 01

  When you met Jared.

• 1:07:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:35Speaker 01

  Did you feel hopeless before? Were you like, there is no one out there for me?

• 1:07:39Speaker 02

  Well, my boyfriend had just broken up with me.

• 1:07:41Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:07:42Speaker 02

  And in a really sad way where he broke, he came here, flew here. He went to Oberlin. I went to NYU. He flew here to break up with me. We went to dinner and I.

• 1:07:51Speaker 01

  What's the point?

• 1:07:52Speaker 02

  I know. He sat with me and said, it's actually like nice in theory because I wouldn't want to text, but also he sat with me and said, I'm breaking up with you. At dinner and I was like, no, no, no, we, no, no, we haven't even gotten the bread basket. I'm like, wait, let's just wait.

• 1:08:06Speaker 01

  I don't want to sit at dinner at this point, just to fake it.

• 1:08:08Speaker 02

  I'm like, can we just fake it? So he was like, sure. So then we ended up faking it, having, having a great time. And he said, oh, maybe I don't want to break up with you. And then we went back to my dorm. We had sex. He did, he came on my face and as he was coming on my face, he said, I'm sorry, this isn't gonna work. And I was like, wait, there's, I was like, whoa, that's a lot to do. And then he left, got in a cab and blocked me on everything.

• 1:08:30Speaker 01

  Blocked you?

• 1:08:32Speaker 02

  So was I hopeless? Yeah, I was hopeless.

• 1:08:36Speaker 01

  And then Jared came into your life. My, my thing is every time I'm like, I don't give a fuck, somebody does come into my life.

• 1:08:45Speaker 02

  Oh, I love that.

• 1:08:46Speaker 01

  And so I, I don't give a fuck right now. Totally agree. I don't. I, I, it's what I like.

• 1:08:52Speaker 02

  You saying that?

• 1:08:53Speaker 01

  No, but it's like tonight I want to go out because I want to dance and party with my friends.

• 1:08:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:57Speaker 01

  Every time I go out in the hopes of a guy.

• 1:09:00Speaker 02

  It never works. It never works.

• 1:09:01Speaker 01

  Disaster.

• 1:09:02Speaker 02

  No, no, you can't be looking for it.

• 1:09:03Speaker 01

  And I'm off, the dating apps, you have to leave the house.

• 1:09:08Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:09:08Speaker 01

  I, I can't, the dating apps don't really, I've tried, I can't, it's very hard for me.

• 1:09:13Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:09:14Speaker 01

  You need to leave the house.

• 1:09:15Speaker 02

  You do.

• 1:09:15Speaker 01

  What Manny discovered is if you go to a random bar and read a book alone, someone will come up to you.

• 1:09:20Speaker 02

  A book at a bar?

• 1:09:22Speaker 01

  She did it in?

• 1:09:24Speaker 02

  To me, performative reading.

• 1:09:26Speaker 01

  She did in DC, it did in DC.

• 1:09:28Speaker 02

  I could, I, it would need to be the, a, a book appropriate for a bar. Does that make sense?

• 1:09:33Speaker 01

  And it can't be a Kindle.

• 1:09:35Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 1:09:37Speaker 01

  Can't be a Kindle.

• 1:09:37Speaker 02

  You know what it could be divergent?

• 1:09:39Speaker 01

  Always divergent.

• 1:09:40Speaker 02

  Always been divergent.

• 1:09:41Speaker 01

  You know my favorite meme of all time?

• 1:09:43Speaker 02

  What? What is that?

• 1:09:45Speaker 01

  You've never seen where Shailene's jumping from like the train tracks?

• 1:09:48Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:09:49Speaker 01

  She. Jared, you must know what I'm talking about.

• 1:09:52Speaker 02

  I love divergent.

• 1:09:54Speaker 01

  Love. What's your favorite YA thriller?

• 1:09:57Speaker 02

  Divergent?

• 1:09:58Speaker 01

  Really? Mine's Hunger Games. Because it is so well done.

• 1:10:02Speaker 02

  I mean, it's amazing. It's brilliant.

• 1:10:03Speaker 01

  It's actually like very well done.

• 1:10:05Speaker 02

  But, okay, what does this remind you of?

• 1:10:11Speaker 01

  Wait, keep going?

• 1:10:15Speaker 02

  Hold on, hold on, hold on.

• 1:10:18Speaker 01

  I'm not looking at you so you can do it.

• 1:10:26Speaker 02

  It's divergent. Okay, it's Ellie Goulding. Okay, hold on. Hold on, you guys.

• 1:10:31Speaker 01

  Well, you know that the Divergent soundtrack is the best movie soundtrack of all time.

• 1:10:35Speaker 02

  That's what I'm saying.

• 1:10:36Speaker 01

  I need you.

• 1:10:38Speaker 02

  Wait, what?

• 1:10:39Speaker 01

  You've never heard the M83 song, I Need You, where she swings on the zipline? It's beautiful. Or what else, what else is, what else is on there? There's another Ellie Goulding one on there that's like, um, here, read me the, we need, read me the tracklist of the Divergent soundtrack.

• 1:10:52Speaker 02

  What the hell is that? Okay, Beating Heart?

• 1:10:55Speaker 01

  Yeah. Beating Heart. That's the end credit scene.

• 1:10:59Speaker 02

  Hanging on, the song I just played you. I need you.

• 1:11:02Speaker 01

  She's on a zipline and they're ziplining through the city.

• 1:11:05Speaker 02

  I have chills. I actually have chills.

• 1:11:07Speaker 01

  Yeah. And then what's the, there's another one that I just need to know. Beating Heart, I get.

• 1:11:11Speaker 02

  Lost and Found?

• 1:11:12Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:11:13Speaker 02

  Stranger?

• 1:11:14Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:11:14Speaker 02

  Dream Machines?

• 1:11:15Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:11:15Speaker 02

  Dead in the Water?

• 1:11:15Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:11:16Speaker 02

  I Love You, Waiting Game?

• 1:11:17Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:11:17Speaker 02

  My Blood.

• 1:11:18Speaker 01

  Oh, Waiting Game, yeah, I know.

• 1:11:20Speaker 02

  I Won't Let You Go.

• 1:11:21Speaker 01

  Maybe I don't know the soundtrack as well as I thought. You know who has a great soundtrack is, um, what's the, what's the show? Nobody Wants This.

• 1:11:30Speaker 02

  Yes!

• 1:11:31Speaker 01

  Great soundtrack.

• 1:11:32Speaker 02

  I love that show.

• 1:11:33Speaker 01

  Uh, who's your boyfriend acoustic?

• 1:11:34Speaker 02

  Kristen Bell is amazing.

• 1:11:36Speaker 01

  Amazing.

• 1:11:37Speaker 02

  She's a light.

• 1:11:38Speaker 01

  Yeah. Jake, I need advice. I'm staying at my grandmother's for the week and she likes to sleep at 55. Ooh, love that. How do you sleep in the cold without freezing your ass off? All her blankets are really old and thin and I don't want to get claustrophobic by layering a thousand hoodies, et cetera. Am I doomed? No. And I'll tell you why. You are being a little stubborn. Your grandma, old people get, um, very, well, actually, that's quite interesting. I actually thought they get cold easier. But regardless, you can't rip the, it's better to be cold than hot because if you're, if you're sweating, sweating, sweating so hot, you can't rip your skin off. You can always add layers.

• 1:12:15Speaker 02

  I agree.

• 1:12:16Speaker 01

  Go to a local CVS, get a fucking throw blanket and figure it out.

• 1:12:19Speaker 02

  I agree.

• 1:12:19Speaker 01

  I'm sorry.

• 1:12:21Speaker 02

  I agree.

• 1:12:21Speaker 01

  I'm sorry.

• 1:12:22Speaker 02

  Also, 55? That's a dream for me. I love being cold, don't you?

• 1:12:27Speaker 01

  62.

• 1:12:28Speaker 02

  I love being cold.

• 1:12:31Speaker 01

  It is my favorite thing in the entire world.

• 1:12:33Speaker 02

  I'm upset. I want to be so.

• 1:12:35Speaker 01

  To be in the snow.

• 1:12:37Speaker 02

  100%.

• 1:12:39Speaker 01

  Where's your dream wedding?

• 1:12:41Speaker 02

  Not in the snow.

• 1:12:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:43Speaker 02

  But, um, but I, I don't know. Maybe just like, maybe let's just do it in LA. It's easy. Fuck it.

• 1:12:50Speaker 01

  Fuck it.

• 1:12:50Speaker 02

  It's easy.

• 1:12:51Speaker 01

  It's easy.

• 1:12:52Speaker 02

  Or New York even? Upstate? Upstate? Okay.

• 1:12:56Speaker 01

  Ooh, upstate, my, I'm, I, I want to do English countryside.

• 1:13:01Speaker 02

  I would love that. It's just too hard to get everyone there.

• 1:13:03Speaker 01

  No, that's the point. You're stuck.

• 1:13:05Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:13:06Speaker 01

  And everyone's like, fuck it, let's just party.

• 1:13:08Speaker 02

  That's so fun.

• 1:13:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's my idea.

• 1:13:10Speaker 02

  Okay, I'm gonna copy that.

• 1:13:12Speaker 01

  A few times I have noticed that my ex will view the first Instagram story I post, but won't click forward to the second or third. I'm not someone who posts like a hundred in a day, usually a couple every now and then. Why is he just viewing the first and swiping out? Is this for attention? I kind of miss him, so please help. I would be like, he can't keep going. He can't resist. Also, I recently downloaded Instagram Plus, so I can search who views my story. And let me tell you-

• 1:13:38Speaker 02

  I need that.

• 1:13:39Speaker 01

  It's $2.99 a month. It is the best purchase I've ever made in my entire-

• 1:13:41Speaker 02

  $2.99.

• 1:13:42Speaker 01

  I think if I remember correctly, Louise did it, and she accidentally verified herself. And she couldn't post for a month.

• 1:13:49Speaker 02

  Wait, can I just say something? I always check my ex's stories on Instagram.

• 1:13:55Speaker 01

  And I'll do it on my main. But I don't have an ex, but I'll do every situation ship, check.

• 1:13:59Speaker 02

  You don't, you don't do it on your main?

• 1:14:01Speaker 01

  No, I do it on my main.

• 1:14:02Speaker 02

  Same, I do it on my main too.

• 1:14:03Speaker 01

  I could give less of a fuck.

• 1:14:03Speaker 02

  Hello, look at my name.

• 1:14:05Speaker 01

  I'm thinking of you.

• 1:14:06Speaker 02

  Totally thinking of you, babe, heart.

• 1:14:08Speaker 01

  Have we already talked about my shaved head on this podcast yet? And you think it's a good idea?

• 1:14:12Speaker 02

  I love the shaved head idea.

• 1:14:14Speaker 01

  Okay, do I need an-

• 1:14:15Speaker 02

  It's new.

• 1:14:15Speaker 01

  Do I need an earring?

• 1:14:16Speaker 02

  No, baby, no. What, are you Eminem?

• 1:14:19Speaker 01

  Do I need a tat?

• 1:14:21Speaker 02

  Eminem? What, are you Eminem? Why are you doing that?

• 1:14:24Speaker 01

  Just shaved head.

• 1:14:25Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:14:25Speaker 01

  Jared.

• 1:14:26Speaker 02

  Come on, we can't get into Macklemore territory. Does he have a shaved head? Malcolm, Macklemore?

• 1:14:32Speaker 01

  Macklemore.

• 1:14:33Speaker 02

  Does he have a shaved head?

• 1:14:34Speaker 01

  No, well, he has everything else, though, I'm sure.

• 1:14:35Speaker 02

  To me, he has a shaved head, an earring, and a tat.

• 1:14:37Speaker 01

  Have you ever heard the song by Macklemore? "I Don't Belong in This Club."

• 1:14:43Speaker 02

  No, and I'll probably like it.

• 1:14:44Speaker 01

  I need you after this to listen to "I Don't Belong in This Club" by Macklemore. There's a part in the song where he goes, "I'm having the worst time in this club," and the DJ yells, "Macklemore in the house tonight," and I go, "Ah, shit," and the chorus starts again. And it is the best song I've ever heard.

• 1:15:02Speaker 02

  I need that in my, in my veins.

• 1:15:03Speaker 01

  And the DJ yells, "Macklemore in the house tonight." "Ah, shit." "Hey, hey, I'm faded, and..." Boom. "I don't belong in this club." "One dance, no chance." "'Cause I'm feeling awkward as fuck."

• 1:15:25Speaker 02

  Oh, wait, what? I thought it was gonna be "I don't belong in this club" again.

• 1:15:28Speaker 01

  No, you would think. Well, Owen, what, what did we learn today?

• 1:15:33Speaker 02

  I feel like we learned so much. Okay, I feel like we learned, um, that you would look great with a shaved head.

• 1:15:41Speaker 01

  Which I'm getting on August 20th, save the date.

• 1:15:43Speaker 02

  Save the date.

• 1:15:45Speaker 01

  Save the date, babe. I'm starting to talk like you.

• 1:15:47Speaker 02

  Save the date, baby. Um, I feel like, what else did we learn?

• 1:15:51Speaker 01

  We've learned that we are truly creative partners.

• 1:15:54Speaker 02

  Partners. No, I see you and I love you.

• 1:15:57Speaker 01

  I see you and I love you. I think we, well, we learned, not in this podcast, but we did learn how to write a joke.

• 1:16:03Speaker 02

  Yes, 100%.

• 1:16:04Speaker 01

  And we are really good at it.

• 1:16:06Speaker 02

  It's really fun to write a joke. That's fun.

• 1:16:09Speaker 01

  And you know what else I learned?

• 1:16:10Speaker 02

  What?

• 1:16:10Speaker 01

  You're gonna need to come over in a few hours, so we can like actually talk shit and write jokes.

• 1:16:14Speaker 02

  I feel like we've actually learned a lot.

• 1:16:16Speaker 01

  But you know what?

• 1:16:17Speaker 02

  We, we also learned that you can watch adults.

• 1:16:19Speaker 01

  We've learned that you can watch adults on August 27th. All eight episodes are premiering on Hulu. It is season two. It is fantastic. I make a guest starring role in episode two.

• 1:16:31Speaker 02

  Fabulous in episode two.

• 1:16:32Speaker 01

  Thank you very much.

• 1:16:33Speaker 02

  I actually, I, I wanna use the word fabulous. You are fabulous.

• 1:16:36Speaker 01

  I'm very excited for people to see it, but you can watch all eight episodes on August 27th. It is created by the wonderful Ben and Rebecca.

• 1:16:43Speaker 02

  They're amazing.

• 1:16:44Speaker 01

  My episode was directed by the wonderful Jonathan Kreisel.

• 1:16:47Speaker 02

  Done.

• 1:16:47Speaker 01

  I had the best time of my life filming.

• 1:16:48Speaker 02

  Oh, I have, I, I had the best time here. This is amazing.

• 1:16:52Speaker 01

  I mean, I could sit and talk to you for another hour.

• 1:16:53Speaker 02

  Same, well, this is just fun, sorry.

• 1:16:55Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:16:56Speaker 02

  Sorry we're friends.

• 1:16:57Speaker 01

  Sorry, I'm sorry that we're friends.

• 1:16:59Speaker 02

  Sorry that we're friends and we actually love to be together.

• 1:17:01Speaker 01

  All the time.

• 1:17:02Speaker 02

  Wait, that's crazy.

• 1:17:04Speaker 01

  Well, Owen, I love you, and I'll see you tonight.

• 1:17:06Speaker 02

  I'll see you tonight. Bye, pussies.