Session 128: Madison Beer

Who’s your friend…? History. Thank you to Amazon Prime for sponsoring this episode! Shop Prime Day Deals June 23rd-26th! Thank you to Booking.com for sponsoring today’s episode! Find exactly what you’re Booking for at https://www.booking.com Use my code for 10% off your next SeatGeek order*:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/THERAPUSS⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sponsored by SeatGeek. *Restrictions apply. Max $25 discount Tell Me What's Wrong at ⁠ passthatpuss.com Follow Madison & Stream “Locket” Out Now! https://locket.madisonbeer.com/ Follow Me! Instagram | @passthatpuss TikTok | @octopusslover8 Listen to "THERAPUSS" Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1BHDdC0OVuHqZ706FobfOF ⁠⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/therapuss-with-jake-shane/id1723626781⁠⁠ Amazon Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/93117357-1f23-46e1-8f26-88f5182a68b8/therapuss-with-jake-shane⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short, and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 0:42Speaker 01

  Hi pussies, welcome back to Therapuss. We have Brett here for the intro.

• 0:46Speaker 02

  Hi.

• 0:46Speaker 01

  Hi, my hand hurts.

• 0:47Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm so sorry.

• 0:49Speaker 01

  Look, watch.

• 0:50Speaker 02

  It's like definitely not good.

• 0:52Speaker 01

  See, okay, so the tendon just went over the muscle. Great, watch, ready?

• 0:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 0:57Speaker 01

  Then watch it snap back into place.

• 0:59Speaker 02

  Ow.

• 1:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's bad. So if anyone at home knows what the fuck to do, please help me. I'm in so much pain every day of my life. Every morning I wake up in pain, every night I go to bed in pain. I'm constantly in pain.

• 1:11Speaker 02

  You're gonna have to go to physical therapy or something for that, I think.

• 1:15Speaker 01

  I, I think I might have to get the surgery.

• 1:17Speaker 02

  Oh, no way.

• 1:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, the tendonitis surgery.

• 1:20Speaker 02

  No way.

• 1:21Speaker 01

  They just, they quickly, they just, it's right here. It's like this tendon, right here.

• 1:26Speaker 02

  What's the recovery like?

• 1:28Speaker 01

  I don't have time for it, so I don't know.

• 1:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're not having time for that.

• 1:31Speaker 01

  When do you leave again?

• 1:33Speaker 02

  For Europe?

• 1:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:34Speaker 02

  Next week.

• 1:35Speaker 01

  Brett also just found a place.

• 1:40Speaker 01

  Help him.

• 1:41Speaker 02

  Jake's rolling his eyes.

• 1:42Speaker 01

  I'm not rolling my eyes because I'm mad, I'm just...

• 1:44Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:45Speaker 01

  I'm just upset.

• 1:47Speaker 02

  I'm in the same boat. Listen.

• 1:49Speaker 01

  But I know it has to happen, like, obviously, like, life happens.

• 1:51Speaker 02

  I am so sad and to move out, like, I'm so sad about it, but at the same time...

• 1:58Speaker 01

  It's time.

• 1:58Speaker 02

  It's time.

• 1:59Speaker 01

  For you and your relationship.

• 2:00Speaker 02

  And we talked about this going into this year of the lease.

• 2:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, no one is shocked.

• 2:05Speaker 02

  No one's shocked, like, I'm not springing this on Jake, like, I'm not gonna be far.

• 2:10Speaker 01

  No, seven minutes.

• 2:11Speaker 02

  I will be here literally all the time.

• 2:12Speaker 01

  All the time.

• 2:13Speaker 02

  If you're in town, I'll be here.

• 2:15Speaker 01

  Right.

• 2:15Speaker 02

  Which is when I see you anyway.

• 2:17Speaker 01

  Exactly, and I'm never in town.

• 2:18Speaker 02

  You're, you have been gone more than you've been here in the last like five months, I think.

• 2:23Speaker 01

  Do you hear how sick I sound?

• 2:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:25Speaker 01

  I'm sick. I think I need...

• 2:26Speaker 02

  I think you need to go to bed.

• 2:27Speaker 01

  I think I need to go to, I think I'm sick.

• 2:30Speaker 02

  And you know me, if like, if, like, if I'm like, if I'm feeling sick, I need to go to bed.

• 2:34Speaker 01

  Like, I feel sick.

• 2:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:36Speaker 01

  I feel sick.

• 2:37Speaker 02

  I mean.

• 2:37Speaker 01

  And so like, my eyes are like, literally collapsing.

• 2:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:40Speaker 01

  Onto themselves.

• 2:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:42Speaker 01

  But it's like, I'm out of shows to watch. But it's like, have you seen Succession? I'm like, the first two seasons, and...

• 2:46Speaker 02

  I'm watching it right now for the first time. It's so good. It's, it's so good. Greg and Tom are really just like...

• 2:53Speaker 01

  Well, you know, people call me Cousin Greg.

• 2:55Speaker 02

  And how funny that you actually know him in real life.

• 2:57Speaker 01

  I know. Nicholas Braun, Nicholas, I love you.

• 3:00Speaker 02

  Period, Nicholas.

• 3:01Speaker 01

  We did Broadway together.

• 3:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:03Speaker 01

  I miss it.

• 3:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:04Speaker 01

  I miss that era of my life.

• 3:06Speaker 02

  Well, you know, you're in another fun era right now. You've just been like...

• 3:10Speaker 01

  Summer.

• 3:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:12Speaker 01

  I'm really, like, my body is really feeling it today. Like, I really, like, I got home and my body is like...

• 3:19Speaker 02

  You need to just, like, take a chill pill.

• 3:21Speaker 01

  Like, I don't even know what I want for dinner.

• 3:22Speaker 02

  I know. Me either, honestly.

• 3:25Speaker 01

  Well, you just keep me posted on your ideas.

• 3:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:27Speaker 01

  Well, what's this new grocery store?

• 3:30Speaker 02

  Laurel Supply. It's the Erawan dupe.

• 3:33Speaker 01

  Okay, have you been? What's the vibe?

• 3:36Speaker 02

  I haven't been. I, I haven't been, but it literally is like, and I'm not just saying, like, Happy or Grocery Erawan is like, Erawan, like, copy. No, it's like, this is an Erawan dupe. Same plates.

• 3:46Speaker 01

  But what are people saying about the food?

• 3:48Speaker 02

  I don't know. I'm intrigued.

• 3:50Speaker 01

  What is the type of food there?

• 3:51Speaker 02

  It's like Buffalo Kung Fu or Korean Chor- oh, they have all the same shit.

• 3:55Speaker 01

  It's the same thing.

• 3:56Speaker 02

  Sushi counter.

• 3:57Speaker 01

  I see the sushi counter looks cool.

• 3:59Speaker 02

  They have, like, the same smoothies. It's, like, very weird, honestly. But, like, smart, I guess.

• 4:05Speaker 01

  Do people like it? Are people on TikTok liking it?

• 4:07Speaker 02

  People like it. People think that it's more chic. People think this...

• 4:10Speaker 01

  But like, what's the quality of the food?

• 4:12Speaker 02

  I don't know. I haven't been. I've passed it a few times, and it's right by Barney's, um, Beanery in West Hollywood.

• 4:20Speaker 01

  I've only been there once.

• 4:22Speaker 02

  I've never been there.

• 4:23Speaker 01

  People love it. People say on a Tuesday night, it really pops off.

• 4:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:27Speaker 01

  Did you have fun watching the Knicks here?

• 4:30Speaker 02

  So much fun. We watched the last, well, where was I watching? Oh, I was in bed at the game that you were at. That was so fucking crazy, insane.

• 4:39Speaker 01

  It was the crazy experience of my life.

• 4:41Speaker 02

  It's, uh, it's unreal that you were there.

• 4:42Speaker 01

  You didn't even need to understand how basketball worked to know that it was point for point.

• 4:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:47Speaker 01

  Was it though? No, it wasn't point for point. They were like catching up.

• 4:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, they, they, they came back from like 29 points down or something insane.

• 4:54Speaker 01

  It was crazy. I mean, I thought they were losing. I thought they, I thought it was over.

• 4:56Speaker 02

  Me too. I thought the game was over.

• 4:57Speaker 01

  Have you seen Jordan Woods' lucky bag?

• 4:59Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 5:00Speaker 01

  I'm so obsessed.

• 5:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:01Speaker 01

  I love it. And you know, it's her own brand too.

• 5:04Speaker 02

  I didn't know that.

• 5:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's her own brand and it's her lucky bag. Like it's sick. And her, and her fiance Carl.

• 5:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, Carl Anthony Townsend.

• 5:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:10Speaker 02

  Well, I'm obsessed with like, cause there's so much other like lore of like the team and like Jalen, so Jalen Brunson went to a high school right near me.

• 5:17Speaker 01

  Okay, so what's his draft story? Cause apparently it's like emotional.

• 5:21Speaker 02

  He was drafted in the second round, so he wasn't even like a first round draft pick, I think.

• 5:25Speaker 01

  You're correct. You're correct.

• 5:27Speaker 02

  And then, um, I don't know anything else.

• 5:30Speaker 01

  But there's something about his draft story that makes it so this is like even more emotional.

• 5:34Speaker 02

  To go in the first round and didn't, cause he had won like a national championship at Villanova, maybe two.

• 5:40Speaker 01

  He went to Villanova?

• 5:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:42Speaker 01

  Do they have a good basketball team?

• 5:43Speaker 02

  So good. Like when they're in their like era, they're, yeah, they, they were really good when he was there. And then like his dad is like an assistant coach. I didn't know that. Like I'm just obsessed with it all.

• 5:52Speaker 01

  Well, do you know that one of the coaches on the Knicks is like the dad of one of the players?

• 5:57Speaker 02

  Jalen's dad.

• 5:59Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 6:00Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 6:00Speaker 01

  And do you know Jalen's dad then won a championship? The last time the Knicks won was with his dad.

• 6:05Speaker 02

  No, they made it to the championships when his dad was on the team and didn't win. So he won for his dad.

• 6:11Speaker 01

  Oh, I'm sick.

• 6:12Speaker 02

  Which like gag.

• 6:13Speaker 01

  I'm sick.

• 6:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:14Speaker 01

  Are you excited for the Olympics?

• 6:16Speaker 02

  You mean FIFA?

• 6:17Speaker 01

  No, the Olympics.

• 6:18Speaker 02

  In two years?

• 6:19Speaker 01

  Uh huh. Are you excited?

• 6:22Speaker 02

  I mean, yeah.

• 6:23Speaker 01

  Are you excited for the World Cup? That's happening now.

• 6:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, I went to the opening match.

• 6:26Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, you went. How was that?

• 6:27Speaker 02

  It was actually so fun.

• 6:28Speaker 01

  Look, my thing with soccer is I, it's very slow for me. And there was like two goals throughout the entire game.

• 6:35Speaker 02

  See, so like, I kind of love it because there's no stoppage.

• 6:39Speaker 01

  What do you mean, there's no stoppage?

• 6:40Speaker 02

  Like, like, they very rarely stop the game. So I feel like there's just always something, not necessarily going on, because like, yes, I agree with you that the goals are low, but like, you know, with like hockey, there's like a whistle, like every like two minutes, like soccer's not like that. Like, the most they stop a half is like five to like seven minutes, like over the course of forty-five minutes.

• 7:00Speaker 01

  Got it. I'm really freaking out about my hand.

• 7:03Speaker 02

  I'm freaking out for you.

• 7:04Speaker 01

  If anyone has any remedies for Dequive's tendonitis, which is what I have, please help me. I'm supposed to work out tomorrow. I don't know how I'm gonna work out.

• 7:13Speaker 02

  Can you just, does it hurt to like grab things?

• 7:17Speaker 01

  No.

• 7:19Speaker 01

  Everything hurts. And my body's like creaking.

• 7:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, you just need a lot of sleep.

• 7:24Speaker 01

  Well, what else? You're moving end of July.

• 7:28Speaker 02

  I'm moving in the end of July, which is just, I'm excited about it, but I'm also like overwhelmed about all the things. But no, I'm excited. It's just like, there's so many things I need to buy. I keep like looking for furniture and I'm like, oh my God, this is perfect. And then it's like gonna be delivered in October. And like, I can't do that.

• 7:48Speaker 01

  That's the furniture market.

• 7:49Speaker 02

  I know, and I can't do it.

• 7:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:51Speaker 02

  I'm miserable about it. Like, the couch I'm getting, the couch we're getting, I guess, it's technically we, which is crazy, is gonna take like two months, probably.

• 7:59Speaker 01

  So you need a new couch then, a different couch?

• 8:02Speaker 02

  No, but like, I'm really obsessed with this couch.

• 8:04Speaker 01

  What couch is it?

• 8:05Speaker 02

  It's from Lulu in Georgia, and it's like really cute.

• 8:08Speaker 01

  Got it.

• 8:09Speaker 02

  And green.

• 8:11Speaker 01

  Oh, comfy. Have you tried it, have you tried it on?

• 8:13Speaker 02

  No, because they don't have a fucking showroom here, so I'm really going in blind, but I've heard really good things. Like, my friend has a couch from them and says it's really good, so.

• 8:20Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 8:21Speaker 02

  So, yeah, so it's just like, there's just a lot. I also just have to like show you the place.

• 8:26Speaker 01

  I know, I haven't seen the place. All of a sudden.

• 8:27Speaker 02

  I, I called Jake like literally before we even signed the lease. Yeah. You sent me the most passive emoji.

• 8:35Speaker 01

  What emoji?

• 8:36Speaker 02

  It's like the soft smile.

• 8:37Speaker 01

  Oh, that's not passive. That's just like.

• 8:40Speaker 03

  You were like wanting to die. So then I called you and I said, listen, you're the first person I'm telling you'd be pissed off if I didn't tell you for a week.

• 8:48Speaker 01

  I wasn't mad. I was just like, okay.

• 8:51Speaker 03

  You said I didn't need this today.

• 8:53Speaker 01

  No, I'm beyond happy for you. Brett's technically up in June and I was trying to string her along until September.

• 8:58Speaker 03

  So I'm excited, but it's like, it's crazy.

• 9:01Speaker 01

  Well, tonight we have on Madison Beer. Do you have a favorite Madison Beer song?

• 9:04Speaker 03

  Dear society. Oh, didn't Peyton love boy shit?

• 9:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, Peyton loves boy shit.

• 9:09Speaker 03

  Hurts like hell.

• 9:10Speaker 01

  Hurts like hell.

• 9:12Speaker 03

  Hurts like hell.

• 9:13Speaker 01

  Hurts like hell.

• 9:13Speaker 03

  Love.

• 9:14Speaker 01

  That was our college one.

• 9:15Speaker 03

  Um, Good and Goodbye?

• 9:18Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, Good and Goodbye.

• 9:19Speaker 03

  Oh my God, she has so many good songs.

• 9:22Speaker 01

  She's bangers.

• 9:23Speaker 03

  Love.

• 9:23Speaker 01

  Um, okay. Well, I love you.

• 9:24Speaker 03

  I love you so much.

• 9:25Speaker 01

  And we're gonna do a full, thank you. Even if it's just for a week. We're gonna do a full goodbye episode before everything, before Brett moves.

• 9:35Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 9:36Speaker 01

  I love you.

• 9:36Speaker 03

  Love you. Love you pussies.

• 9:38Speaker 01

  Tonight we have on Madison Beer, who just began her locket tour worldwide. It is amazing. If you have a chance to see it, please go see it. She is incredible. Enjoy the episode. I love you pussies.

• 9:52Speaker 01

  Are you ready?

• 9:52Speaker 03

  I'm ready.

• 9:53Speaker 01

  Well, we have Madison Beer on tonight.

• 9:58Speaker 03

  Yay.

• 9:58Speaker 01

  I'm so excited that we're finally doing this.

• 10:00Speaker 03

  I know. It's like every time I see you, I'm like, let me in, put me in.

• 10:04Speaker 01

  No, we're always like, we need to, because you have a very busy schedule.

• 10:07Speaker 03

  As do you.

• 10:08Speaker 01

  No, not as busy as you.

• 10:09Speaker 03

  Oh, stop it. We made it work though.

• 10:11Speaker 01

  We did make it work. Are you excited for tour?

• 10:13Speaker 03

  I was like, I'm not going on tour until I see Jake Shane. It's not happening.

• 10:17Speaker 01

  And you're about to leave for tour.

• 10:18Speaker 03

  I know.

• 10:18Speaker 01

  Are you excited or nervous or?

• 10:21Speaker 03

  Hopefully, when is this coming out? After it had already started?

• 10:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:24Speaker 03

  Okay, so future me, I hope you're having fun. I hope everything's going well. But as of right now in this moment, I'm definitely in like, I don't want to say panic mode, but this is like my biggest show. Like I have, you know, like a big, well, I guess I could talk about it. It'll be happening. I have like a big set design. Like I have props and, you know, things that are on automation that are spinning and moving. And there's just a lot of things going on this time. Like my last tour was literally just a staircase and that's it. And then my tour before that was like a tree on stage. Like I've never had a real, true like set build. So like, the set build, there's so much more lighting. I have a catwalk for the first time. I'm like, there's so many things that I've never done that are happening for the first time on this tour. And so I think I'm just feeling nervous, of course. I'm also kind of dancing, which I'm not a dancer. Wish I was.

• 11:09Speaker 01

  I feel like you are a dancer.

• 11:10Speaker 03

  No, I'm really not.

• 11:11Speaker 01

  Do you have backup dancers?

• 11:12Speaker 03

  I do, and I think I'm gonna like try my best, but yeah.

• 11:17Speaker 01

  Are you like, do you have fun on tour?

• 11:20Speaker 03

  I, okay, I feel like I've figured out how to have fun on tour. I think that I used to be, my second tour was really miserable and horrible. Like, the shows were amazing, so anyone that went, like, Love You Down, but like, the actual tour was

• 11:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:34Speaker 03

  really brutal. It was really long. I did mainly three shows in a row and then would have one day off, which I just learned very quickly is not sustainable for me. Um, and I think I was also just surrounded by people that didn't really make it fun, honestly. And so it just, I don't know, it just wasn't a good time. Um, sadly, and so that kind of made me be like, do I even want to ever do this again? Which then I thought was really sad.

• 11:55Speaker 01

  What album were you touring for that tour?

• 11:57Speaker 03

  Dude, I'm so messed up. I think that was, I'm pretty sure that was Life Support. But I loved my dancers. There was, okay, there was people I loved on the tour, but it was just like the, the scheduling of it, I think, was the worst part. Was it was just way too much and like way too time consuming and whatever. And then my spin and tour, which was the last one, was better because I feel like I was really around, like, I, like, everyone on my crew and everyone, like, everyone was just so great. And I kind of put my foot down and was like, if I'm doing another tour, it needs to be not three, no threes in a row. If there has to be like one, it's fine, but Yeah. I need to just like prioritize my sanity. Um, I was cut down on-

• 12:31Speaker 01

  You also can't give a good show if you're not feeling good.

• 12:33Speaker 03

  No, I like cut down on the meet and greets. I was doing a hundred and fifty, which also just is unfair to the fans too.

• 12:38Speaker 01

  Well, because you want to give every single person that has paid-

• 12:41Speaker 03

  And then I'm up there for six hours and I'm like, we, it's showtime, you know, and I can't, it wasn't possible. And then we did thirty on this last tour, which I thought was gonna be a lot easier, and it still was a lot, because I'm then, still spending like five, ten minutes sometimes with people and like, it just, it just was too much and I felt bad. It got, it got to the point where I was just like, I don't feel like this is fair. Like, I feel like it's, I'm, you're paying me to like, take a selfie when I could just meet you outside and like do the same thing. It just felt weird. So, this tour, I'm not doing any meet and greets, which they were upset about, but I think it will help the flow of like my day a lot more. And I'm doing a Q and A on stage with them.

• 13:14Speaker 01

  Are you doing soundcheck?

• 13:15Speaker 03

  Which I love, like, I love a Q and A, soundcheck party. I feel like it's so much more.

• 13:19Speaker 01

  Intimate.

• 13:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I can actually, I can actually sit there for two hours and just like talk to everybody.

• 13:24Speaker 01

  It's also like way less pressure. I feel like I'm more comfortable because you're like sitting there and it's almost like hanging out with a group of friends.

• 13:30Speaker 03

  I think the Q and A thing I love because it's just like I have them usually submit questions before and I'll just read off like every question and it's just fun. And like you said, it does feel like you're friends and like I'm assuming obviously most of the people that go and see me at a Q and A like know me really well. So it literally feels like we're having a big hangout.

• 13:45Speaker 01

  What do you?

• 13:46Speaker 03

  It's the best.

• 13:46Speaker 01

  What do you call your fanbase?

• 13:48Speaker 03

  No name.

• 13:49Speaker 01

  No name? Didn't they try to call themselves the Alcoholics?

• 13:51Speaker 03

  Please, I can't. I was like, you guys, you guys are 16. You can't say this. No, but there was so many names. I think I named them the Imaginers when I was like 13. With an M A D in the middle. So it was like.

• 14:04Speaker 03

  Please, and that was crazy. Um, they still sometimes will do it. They call themselves Beer Babes. I've seen like, yeah, like Alcoholics, Beer Holics. I'm just like, can we just not have a name?

• 14:15Speaker 01

  Right.

• 14:15Speaker 03

  I think that era has passed us all.

• 14:17Speaker 01

  Would you, are you doing any old music on tour?

• 14:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, I'm doing some songs from Life Support. Um, I'm doing all of Lockett. I'm doing some from Sounds Between Songs and then I have a fan song every night, which is the first time I'm doing like letting them pick one.

• 14:31Speaker 01

  How do they pick?

• 14:32Speaker 03

  Okay, again, let's see what actually ends up happening because it's still being worked out. And I feel like it's kind of right now, the, the concept is there, but it's not executing the way that it needs to be. Like every time we rehearse it, it feels really awkward. So my whole thing was like, I feel like a lot of shows that you see, especially when there's like fan interaction. It's always the people in the front, which no hate at all. Like those people obviously are like paying them whatever. But I just feel like I love when it's someone that is like, I never thought I'd be chosen and it could be someone literally in the back of the arena. Or the hot, whatever, but it'll change. Like I think I'm planning on doing, yes, some nights might be the kid in the front row. Some nights might be somebody in the nosebleeds, who knows? But I just feel like that inclusivity feels really cool to me. So then I was like, we have to think of something creative.

• 15:17Speaker 03

  So then that led me to this idea, don't know where this came from, but it was kind of like, someone, one of my dancers are gonna come on stage and give me this like locket box that I'm gonna open and it's gonna have three, we have like, I think we have about fifteen songs prepped, but each night is gonna be a choice of three. So, three different songs every night and, which I also was thinking about, sorry, you're gonna notice very quickly, I'm like,

• 15:37Speaker 01

  No, me too, I'm the same way, I'm the same way.

• 15:40Speaker 03

  Like, I wish I could figure out a way to let them choose which three of the fifteen they want that night, but then I feel like it's always gonna be the same three, so I like have to just do it by myself, or maybe I'll like sound check choose, I don't know, something. So basically it'll be three letters in the locket box, that'll be like envelopes, and they're gonna say a lyric on the front of it, so it might say like, you know, "In these sour times", and then I'll be like, "Oh, this one says that", and hopefully they'll all scream. I'm hoping they like know the songs, I'm nervous they're gonna be like, "Wait, what", and then I'm gonna be like, "Grew up in the same house", which is a lyric from my songwriter, like whatever, read the lyrics that are on the front, and then I'm gonna tell my dancer like, "Okay, you can go send these out now", and then the second she leaves stage, like a spotlight will go on to someone who will, obviously there'll be a second box,

• 16:23Speaker 03

  and someone will have delivered the letters to this person with the same box, and they will then have the three options in front of them, and I want that person to just pick whichever letter they want, open the envelope and inside the envelope to say the name, and they can like,

• 16:35Speaker 01

  Oh, that's fun.

• 16:35Speaker 03

  They can like hold it up to the camera and then we sing it.

• 16:37Speaker 01

  That's fun.

• 16:38Speaker 03

  That's the idea right now, but it just feels a little clunky, so I'm trying to smooth it out.

• 16:42Speaker 01

  Figure it out, like, the first show, you'll be like stressed and then it'll be like, it'll...

• 16:47Speaker 03

  I'm gonna be so stressed the first show.

• 16:49Speaker 01

  Always.

• 16:50Speaker 03

  Like panicking, losing my mind, I'm gonna dissociate completely.

• 16:54Speaker 01

  Do you like, take a beta blocker or anything?

• 16:56Speaker 03

  No, I've actually never taken a beta blocker.

• 16:58Speaker 01

  They don't work for me.

• 16:59Speaker 03

  I don't think anything would work for me, I'm like, I need to be sedated, actually.

• 17:02Speaker 01

  No, they don't, beta blockers like, don't work for me, I took one before.

• 17:05Speaker 03

  I saw that Rachel Sennett video, like when that first dropped, and I was like, "Oh my god, I need this", and then I was like, "I don't think this would work, what does it do"?

• 17:11Speaker 01

  It's supposed to slow the physical symptoms of anxiety.

• 17:15Speaker 03

  Please.

• 17:16Speaker 01

  And I kept saying, "I think I'm slurring my words", but I wasn't, cuz it doesn't work.

• 17:20Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 17:20Speaker 01

  It really doesn't work for me.

• 17:22Speaker 03

  To be honest, I don't get like nervous anxiety, I get more... I think because I'm, my hands are in every department, like I'm sitting in programming the lighting, I'm editing the tour content with the editors, like I, there's not one thing that I'm not a part of, so I think that it's not, it's, it's hard for me to get on stage and just be like, I have to sing good and like do my steps, I'm also like, is the LED wall on, is the lighting working, like it's, it's, I don't know, it feels like very involved for me, so I think I get strep.

• 17:48Speaker 01

  Are you Virgo?

• 17:49Speaker 03

  Am I Virgo? No, I'm a Pisces.

• 17:50Speaker 01

  Oh, right, you are a Pisces!

• 17:52Speaker 03

  What are you?

• 17:53Speaker 01

  Scorpio.

• 17:53Speaker 03

  Okay, watered down.

• 17:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, watered out, Pisces are my favorite. Pisces women are my favorite.

• 17:58Speaker 03

  We are the best.

• 17:59Speaker 01

  You guys are the best. My best friend Alice, the Pisces woman, hands down.

• 18:03Speaker 03

  The best.

• 18:03Speaker 01

  The best, the best.

• 18:04Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 18:05Speaker 01

  Pisces men kinda tricky.

• 18:05Speaker 03

  That's so funny though, people, my boyfriend is a Pisces man, so.

• 18:08Speaker 01

  Is he really?

• 18:09Speaker 03

  But, but, I would have said the same thing about Pisces men before I dated him.

• 18:13Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 18:14Speaker 03

  Would have said the same thing, would have been like, no, because I had only met, well, actually that's not true, I know a couple Pisces men that are good, but I met one man once that was the scariest person I've ever met and he was a Pisces man, and I literally was like, run from Pisces men.

• 18:27Speaker 01

  Because they can be tricky.

• 18:28Speaker 03

  They can be, but he's a really good one and he's changed my mind, of course, but.

• 18:31Speaker 01

  Is he March or February?

• 18:32Speaker 03

  He's, he's five days after me, he's March 10th, I'm March 5th.

• 18:35Speaker 01

  Oh, that's really cute.

• 18:36Speaker 03

  Isn't that so special? We can have.

• 18:38Speaker 01

  Joint birthday.

• 18:39Speaker 03

  Joint birthdays for life, I know, it's incredible.

• 18:40Speaker 01

  Or, well, no.

• 18:41Speaker 03

  It, we did, we, right, it is May now.

• 18:42Speaker 01

  It's May.

• 18:43Speaker 03

  We did have a little joint birthday energy last year, though, um, people always ask me if I'm a Virgo, though, that's weird that you ask that.

• 18:48Speaker 01

  Are you, is it in any of your chart at all?

• 18:50Speaker 03

  No, but Pisces and Virgo are like direct opposites, and so people.

• 18:53Speaker 01

  Are they really?

• 18:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, so they say they're like compatible.

• 18:56Speaker 01

  Do they clash?

• 18:57Speaker 03

  I don't know, here's my thing about astrology, I'm totally a believer, love it, I always am like finding myself, my bubble is a lot of the same signs, but I feel like there's good and bad in every sign, obviously.

• 19:09Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 19:09Speaker 03

  And so like, I think it's unfair sometimes, like to be honest with you, like, I always say Scorpio men are crazy.

• 19:14Speaker 01

  They are, well, we, we're insane.

• 19:15Speaker 03

  Crazy.

• 19:16Speaker 01

  We're insane.

• 19:16Speaker 03

  But then I'm like, I meet some, then I'm like, no, you're great, it just, it's, it's, to me, it's like, are you a healed one, or are you not?

• 19:22Speaker 01

  Right.

• 19:22Speaker 03

  Or are you trying to heal?

• 19:24Speaker 01

  Right.

• 19:24Speaker 03

  Are you trying to be better?

• 19:25Speaker 01

  None of the above for me.

• 19:27Speaker 03

  Really?

• 19:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, probably.

• 19:28Speaker 03

  I think you're lying.

• 19:29Speaker 01

  No, I, I, well, I think maybe I'm like a little healed.

• 19:32Speaker 03

  Are you in therapy?

• 19:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I always skip.

• 19:35Speaker 03

  What do you mean, so you're not? He's like, it's on the calendar, but it doesn't get.

• 19:39Speaker 01

  I always skip. Like, I have two therapy sessions a week. I skip both of them every time.

• 19:43Speaker 03

  What?

• 19:43Speaker 01

  Because it's just, I'm, talk therapy is really bad for me.

• 19:46Speaker 03

  Okay, interesting.

• 19:47Speaker 01

  I need to do, like, actual activities.

• 19:49Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 19:50Speaker 01

  Or else it doesn't, like...

• 19:51Speaker 03

  I completely understand that, honestly. I've done a lot of different types of therapy.

• 19:54Speaker 01

  Reiterating the same shit over and over and over, and I'm spinning.

• 19:56Speaker 03

  I know, for sure. Spinning out. And I'm like, dude, I feel like sometimes with me, I, I feel like sometimes I'll get on with my therapist and I'm like, I actually know the answers to this.

• 20:05Speaker 01

  Well, that's my thing too. So that's why I'm like, I need to do activities.

• 20:09Speaker 03

  I know, yeah.

• 20:10Speaker 01

  For my OCD or something, like, something to, like, actually work on.

• 20:13Speaker 03

  I have really bad OCD too.

• 20:14Speaker 01

  Do you really?

• 20:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, really bad.

• 20:15Speaker 01

  What type?

• 20:16Speaker 03

  Um, this is so random, but I feel like mine is very need-to-know type.

• 20:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:24Speaker 03

  You know what I mean?

• 20:25Speaker 01

  No, that's the thing.

• 20:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think that that's my main thing, is I think I'm...

• 20:28Speaker 01

  You need to know everything.

• 20:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like I'm, I've always labeled that as curiosity, but then I actually recently spoke to a psychiatrist who was like, no, you have, like, severe OCD. That's not normal. And I was like, oh, okay, that makes me feel better, at least, because I feel like for so long I thought that I was just maybe like an overthi... I'm definitely an over thinker. But I think, I thought, I diagnosed it as like, oh, I'm just an over thinker who, like, has anxiety and my therapist slash psychiatrist was like, no, you, this is like a real thing.

• 20:56Speaker 01

  I have that too.

• 20:56Speaker 03

  I feel like it's really, mine's really like, I, I need to know everything. There's definitely more as well, posting. This sounds so stupid, but like, posting on social media.

• 21:04Speaker 01

  It doesn't sound stupid to me.

• 21:06Speaker 03

  Spikes is like a huge trigger for my anxiety, my, my OCD. I like, I, I feel like it's been getting progressively worse as the years have gone on. Like, it's really difficult for me to just, like, post on Instagram, which sounds pathetic, but it's true.

• 21:17Speaker 01

  No, it's, I, I have, I have a hard time commenting.

• 21:20Speaker 03

  It's like, does it not, you like, sit there and you're like, I don't know what to say or do.

• 21:23Speaker 01

  If I comment the wrong thing, I'll get bad luck.

• 21:26Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 21:27Speaker 01

  So like, I go crazy over it.

• 21:28Speaker 03

  Wait, were you the kind of kid that you were like, if I don't, if I don't spin in circles three times, my parent, my parents are gonna die? Because that's how I am.

• 21:33Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 21:34Speaker 03

  That's always how I've been my whole life. Never knew that was an OCD thing.

• 21:36Speaker 01

  Magical thinking OCD.

• 21:38Speaker 03

  What? I've never heard of that. I literally used to do that growing up. I'd be like, oh my god, I have to walk back three steps or my whole family's gonna die in a fire.

• 21:46Speaker 01

  Cluck, I would like, count to two and like, cluck my, it was like a whole thing.

• 21:49Speaker 03

  Oh my god. Clearly, I don't know that much about OCD. This is a new diagnosis for me.

• 21:54Speaker 01

  It's being talked about a little more. I also discovered I have confessional OCD, which is like, I need to, like, if I lie, I have to tell you I lied.

• 22:00Speaker 03

  For sure, I have that.

• 22:02Speaker 01

  I have to tell you everything about myself, so like, someone can't like, find out about me.

• 22:06Speaker 03

  Oh my god, that is exactly how I am.

• 22:09Speaker 01

  I'm like, well, this is who I am, like, take it or leave it.

• 22:11Speaker 03

  No, I'm bearing my soul.

• 22:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:13Speaker 03

  Oh my god, I wonder, is like, oversharing a compulsion?

• 22:15Speaker 01

  Yes, that's, yeah.

• 22:17Speaker 03

  I, one time, there was a really, this is what made me actually wanna seek out help, because my, someone that was on my crew on my tour has, like, diagnosed OCD, has been diagnosed for like, ten years. And there was one day on tour, last tour, where it was like, guys, let's meet in the lobby at noon, we're all gonna go get lunch. And I was like, amazing, see you guys down there, just posting on Instagram really quick. This is at ten thirty, so like, plenty of time to get an Instagram post up and then get to lunch.

• 22:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, an hour and a half.

• 22:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, hi. And I legitimately didn't leave my room till four thirty PM. I'm not joking. And I was sitting there and I was like, this is disturbed.

• 22:51Speaker 01

  What about it scares you so much? What, what is it?

• 22:54Speaker 03

  Oh my god, I feel like, it's weird, because I think it's just something, I think I have control issues as well, like, I definitely feel like I've felt out of control a lot, like, even in my childhood, pre-all of this, like, whatever, I think I've had a lot of issues with control, I think that's also where my death anxiety comes from, a whole different conversation, anywho. But yeah, I think that, for me, social media has been something throughout such a big portion of, people don't realize that I've been on like, social media since I'm twelve.

• 23:19Speaker 01

  But you, like, start, your career started on social media.

• 23:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, like, my first ever thing was on YouTube, and then,

• 23:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:25Speaker 03

  on Twitter was how Justin tweeted about me and discovered me, so it's just been, it's been a really big constant in my life, and I think just the more time that goes on, I care less about it now, in the sense of like, I can step away, I can like, not read hate, I think I'm at peace with who I am, and I'm like, if you don't like me, that's fine, but, I don't know, I think, especially on tour, it probably has a lot to do with like, I'm putting so much work and effort into this, that I want everything to convey the right message. I also, that's like, a really big thing of mine, where I'm like, I hope that everything I do conveys the right message, which is not possible, so do it in an Instagram post.

• 24:01Speaker 01

  And also, I feel like it's more stressful on tour, cuz- You have to deal with whatever you read and then get on stage.

• 24:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:10Speaker 01

  And like still deliver the same show, even if like you read something that's like, I didn't like it.

• 24:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:15Speaker 01

  You're like, wait, what? Like, I remember when like someone was like, I hated that show and I had to get on stage the next night and do it. And I was like, I, what am I supposed to do right now?

• 24:24Speaker 03

  No, it's horrible.

• 24:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I don't know. I don't know the specifics, like why I freak out so much. I think it's just like a, it's a lack of control, lack of knowing how it's going to come across, lack of like ability to dictate the perception. It's just all of it. I think it's too much for me.

• 24:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:41Speaker 03

  I don't think I was cut out to like be in any type of.

• 24:44Speaker 01

  But you were.

• 24:44Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 24:45Speaker 01

  So many iconic moments on the internet.

• 24:48Speaker 03

  You know what? And I've accepted them now. Like, I think that for a long time I was really embarrassed by some of those like viral things. Well, because they were very much so hated on when they happened.

• 24:57Speaker 01

  They were, but now.

• 24:59Speaker 03

  Now it's like a meme and it's funny. We love it. Like, who's your friend? I was supposed to be in the video. Like, there's, these are, these are historical moments.

• 25:07Speaker 01

  Who's your friend? History.

• 25:09Speaker 03

  You know what?

• 25:10Speaker 01

  Who's your friend?

• 25:11Speaker 03

  I look back and I'm like, I was 16 and I had balls on me.

• 25:15Speaker 01

  You had a bag in a dream.

• 25:16Speaker 03

  I was like Balenciaga City bag, Converse laced to the top. I was like, I'm ready to go, you know?

• 25:21Speaker 01

  Who is your friend?

• 25:22Speaker 03

  Who's your friend? What do you mean? And, and also, what do you mean? Your friend?

• 25:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:26Speaker 03

  Who?

• 25:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:28Speaker 03

  Tell me the name. Crazy. So I look back and I, I can be proud of that younger version because I'm like, you know what? You stood on business. I really did.

• 25:34Speaker 01

  Say that like, people like really are like, no, but she asked to talk in private too. Like, it's such emotional maturity. Like, and at the time, people were not saying that.

• 25:43Speaker 03

  You know what? At the time, no one said that. You know what? Actually, I remember vividly, people were like, she wanted to talk in private because she was embarrassed. I'm like, no.

• 25:51Speaker 01

  No, no.

• 25:52Speaker 03

  She was talking private because I could, I looked around and I said, this is giving bullying and I don't like this. And so I said, we can talk in private. We don't have to talk in front of everybody. Like, come on. I, dude, but then you have to understand, this was also like peak MAGCon hell for me. Where like every single. Fan on earth wanted me dead.

• 26:10Speaker 01

  Was that, is that what happened?

• 26:11Speaker 03

  That was in the video, the girl literally says, um.

• 26:14Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, you hurt my friend.

• 26:16Speaker 03

  Or like she said something about and I remember I was like, whoa, what the hell? So yeah, people don't realize that like, that was a very intense time on the internet. Did you ever see the video of these girls standing outside of, I'm pretty sure it was like a MadCon show? And literally this girl films and she goes, scream if you hate Madison Beer. And 500 girls just scream at the top of their lungs. Swear my life.

• 26:36Speaker 01

  God, that time was like such an unpoliced era of like social media.

• 26:41Speaker 03

  Crazy. That's what I'm, that's what I'm saying is like, people don't realize that then that went viral and people were like, not being on my side at all. When I was genuinely just trying to confront someone who was being like really mean to me on the internet. And the story is me and that girl ended up talking. I see her out and about in LA to this day. She's a very nice girl. She's a very nice girl. And like, honestly, we have no, no issues at all. We squashed it that day. No issue, but yeah.

• 27:05Speaker 01

  In private.

• 27:06Speaker 03

  But even the, I was supposed to be in the video, all of my things on the internet were not received well when they happened. Now we can all laugh. I'm laughing now.

• 27:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:14Speaker 03

  But then, oof, it was bad.

• 27:17Speaker 01

  Do you like, what did it feel like?

• 27:19Speaker 03

  Well, it was just really embarrassing and I was like, am I literally queen of cringe? Like what is going on? And then it makes you also second guess everything you say. And that was my issue is then I feel like it, it negatively affected my general life because I would say something like, with really pure intentions, because even the, I was supposed to be in the video thing was so pure intentioned. I was just talking to a group of people and Thank You Next had just come out and I was like, wait, guys, like I have tea. And that's what I really thought. I thought I was telling them tea and it was like something cute. And I think that it, the hardest part of all of those types of things was having to be like, oh wait, I can do something that I think is pure intentioned and fine. And then the internet can be like, oh my God, she's so cringey and annoying. And then it makes me like, question my personality and it made me just be like, am I cringey and annoying?

• 28:04Speaker 03

  And is that who I am? And so I think that sucked and I was really young. I mean, I was 20 when the. Video thing happened and then I was like 16 when the other thing happened, so.

• 28:14Speaker 01

  And I feel like it's also like, you're then talking and you're like, and you say something and then you think about how like,

• 28:20Speaker 03

  Someone on TikTok is being twisted, yeah.

• 28:22Speaker 01

  It's crazy.

• 28:23Speaker 03

  Which that's not how we should be living.

• 28:24Speaker 01

  No.

• 28:24Speaker 03

  To me, that's just not conducive to society. Like, I feel like we should, I don't know, we should operate with a lot more like grace with people. It's, it's a scary time.

• 28:34Speaker 01

  Can you imagine if TikTok was around during the MadCon days?

• 28:37Speaker 03

  Please. I truthfully wouldn't be sitting here right now. Like, I couldn't. It was too much, even when it was just like Twitter and Instagram.

• 28:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:44Speaker 03

  The amount of hate pages I had back then.

• 28:46Speaker 01

  Hate, you had hate pages?

• 28:47Speaker 03

  You don't understand. I think there was more hate pages than there were fan pages.

• 28:52Speaker 01

  And what?

• 28:52Speaker 03

  I hate Madison Beer XOXO. I hope Madison Beer dies. It was like crazy. It was crazy. My mother used to literally, this is crazy. My mom used to find, if someone had like a hate page or had left a hate comment, my mom was so against the bullying that she would find the person and try to find their Facebook and then like reach out to their parents and be like, your child is bullied.

• 29:12Speaker 01

  Good for her.

• 29:13Speaker 03

  No, my mom was so, well, because she just would see how it would affect me and like someone, and it was always an apology and it was always like.

• 29:19Speaker 01

  Well, because of course.

• 29:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I'm like, your kid told my kid to kill herself and my mom would literally be.

• 29:24Speaker 01

  People used to say that all the time.

• 29:27Speaker 03

  And it was like 12 year olds.

• 29:28Speaker 01

  It was literally like, oh, kill yourself. What?

• 29:31Speaker 03

  Um, whoa, yeah, my mom did not, Tracy Beer does not mess around. She was like, I'm telling, she was like, I'm telling on you.

• 29:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:38Speaker 03

  Literally, that's what she said to all these kids.

• 29:39Speaker 01

  Did you get apologies ever? You got apologies, you said?

• 29:42Speaker 03

  Um, I think sometimes people have, honestly, it's been, it's been really weird. In the last couple of years, people have actually come up to me and been like, I just want to say like, I'm so sorry. I definitely like bullied you when we were kids. And I'm like, oh.

• 29:53Speaker 01

  It's like you grew up together.

• 29:55Speaker 03

  I know, it is. It really is.

• 29:56Speaker 01

  It was like school.

• 29:57Speaker 03

  It really was. Well, because I also got pulled out of school in seventh grade, so this was my like, middle, high school experience was the internet.

• 30:04Speaker 01

  Wait, you got pulled out in seventh grade?

• 30:06Speaker 03

  I got signed when I was 12.

• 30:08Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 30:09Speaker 03

  I know. Sometimes I'll meet people like in my meeting greets and they're like, I'm 12 and I'm like, it's past your bedtime and then I'm like, oh my god, I was signed.

• 30:17Speaker 01

  You were a working girl.

• 30:19Speaker 03

  What the hell?

• 30:20Speaker 01

  I feel like you're very healed from that era.

• 30:22Speaker 03

  Thank you. I try.

• 30:24Speaker 01

  I feel like you are.

• 30:25Speaker 03

  I think that like I really don't believe in carrying animosity or like being someone that just like seeds all the time. Like I really think it's not good for you and I think I'm someone who harps on things. I spin out. I'm like, it's not good for me. And I think I, there's, yeah, there's so much I can sit here and be like, this person did me wrong and this was fucked up. And even all those kids who hated on me, I'm like, I release all of that. I try really hard to like, let go and I, yeah, I just try not to hold on to things that don't really serve me. And I think I have a lot of empathy for other people too. Maybe sometimes when it's not deserved, but I'm like, well, you probably were hurting if you were commenting on my posts, these things or whatever. Um, but yeah, I do think that I've healed a good amount, as much as I can be. I try to be like thankful for where I'm at. And when I do have my moments of like,

• 31:10Speaker 03

  whatever it might be, um, I try to just be like, this is really good, given what my situation could be if I hadn't done all this work, you know?

• 31:19Speaker 01

  Right.

• 31:19Speaker 03

  So, yeah.

• 31:20Speaker 01

  So you're like happy?

• 31:22Speaker 03

  I am happy. I really am. Like I think that, I think that I have come into myself in a way that I'm really proud of. Like, yeah.

• 31:31Speaker 01

  Cheers to that.

• 31:32Speaker 03

  Right?

• 31:32Speaker 01

  Eyes. Cheers.

• 31:35Speaker 03

  I'm like trying not to whack the microphone out of your hand.

• 31:37Speaker 01

  Well, congratulations.

• 31:38Speaker 03

  Thanks.

• 31:39Speaker 01

  And the new album is fucking phenomenal.

• 31:41Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 31:42Speaker 01

  Listen in the shower. It's amazing. Wait, my favorite. Angel Wings. Fire.

• 31:46Speaker 03

  Yay, thank you.

• 31:47Speaker 01

  Are you doing it on tour?

• 31:48Speaker 03

  Yes, I'm doing the whole album on tour. Um, Angel Wings is cute too, because it has like a really sickening visual that plays before it. And then, so, okay, I have this like, it's, to me, it's like a wind up like music box. So there's a part where I come out of it like spinning for reckless. And then there's also a part where it turns like this and it has a heart cut out in the front of it. So I sit in the heart for Angel Wings and it like spins me out and I'm like cutesy in the heart.

• 32:11Speaker 01

  That's fun.

• 32:11Speaker 03

  So yeah, it's really cute. But I love Angel Wings. I'm glad you like that one.

• 32:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, fire. Do you have a favorite song to perform?

• 32:18Speaker 03

  My favorite song to sing is my song, "Envy the Leaves," which I doubt you've ever heard. It's a very deep cut off of Sounds. I'm like, which album is it on? Sounds Between Songs. And I just love it so much. Like, I don't, do you sing? Not at all?

• 32:30Speaker 01

  Like, I could, I could give a note.

• 32:32Speaker 03

  Okay. But like, I just, you know, I'm like, give a note.

• 32:35Speaker 01

  I could give you a note.

• 32:36Speaker 03

  I feel like I, I'm sure a lot of people who sing also can like relate to this, where some songs just like, take you completely out of your body and you just sing and you, almost like you blackout and you don't even know that you just sang a song. That's what that song does for me. And I feel like every time I sing it, I just, especially on tour, I'll sing the whole thing and then I'm like, oh, the song's over. I didn't, did I even just say a lyric? I don't know. Um, yeah. So I, I think that's my favorite. It's just beautiful.

• 33:00Speaker 01

  Which song has like the loudest crowd sing back?

• 33:03Speaker 03

  Ooh, um, maybe "Boy Shit," which is an old song, but they love "Boy Shit." They love "Boy Shit." Um, "Envy the Leaves," honestly, they love too, because I think it's become like a fan cult classic vibe.

• 33:17Speaker 03

  I'm trying to think of what else gets always a, a big reaction. "Reckless," I think is, it's probably, I think it's my biggest song. I'm hoping that "Make You Mine" gets a big reaction.

• 33:26Speaker 01

  It will. Yeah, "Make You Mine" will. Maybe "Bittersweet" too.

• 33:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, "Bittersweet" is ending the show, so I'm excited.

• 33:33Speaker 01

  And what's starting it?

• 33:34Speaker 03

  "Yes, Baby."

• 33:35Speaker 01

  Fire.

• 33:35Speaker 03

  Yeah. So coming out sexy mama and then ending on like a cute, sweet note. Originally, "Make You Mine" was ending the show and it just didn't feel...

• 33:43Speaker 01

  "Bittersweet" makes sense to end.

• 33:44Speaker 03

  "Bittersweet" feels like confetti in a song and I have confetti in it. So I'm just like, it needs to be something I can spin and like have a good time.

• 33:52Speaker 01

  Right.

• 33:52Speaker 03

  You know?

• 33:53Speaker 01

  I'm so excited. I'm so excited to see the show.

• 33:55Speaker 03

  Thanks. Are you gonna come to LA?

• 33:56Speaker 01

  I want to come to MSG.

• 33:57Speaker 03

  Please.

• 33:58Speaker 01

  That's what I want.

• 33:58Speaker 03

  That's the show to come to.

• 34:02Speaker 01

  This episode of Therapists is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking dot, yeah. Well, it's officially summer. It's summer and it's time to plan those trips. And planning those trips means first and foremost, finding a place to stay for those trips. If you're going to see a festival, if you're going for a weekend getaway, you need to have a roof over your head unless you're going camping. And booking.com provides the best resource for finding a place to stay because it allows every single person to put in their needs for whatever they need. Tub, like for example, in this episode of Therapist, Madison says she needs a tub in every hotel room she stays in. And you can put that into booking.com and find a place to stay.

• 34:45Speaker 01

  And you can find a place that has a tub for your friend, a shower for your other friend, a terrace, walkability. You can really make a fully well-rounded trip on booking.com. As you guys know, on tour, I'd literally end up in a city with nowhere to stay. And Matt would have to go on booking.com and type in what everyone wants. And we would find a place to stay. Find exactly what you're booking for at booking.com. Booking dot, yeah, book today on the site or in the app.

• 35:13Speaker 01

  Thank you SeatGeek for sponsoring tonight's episode. So not only is Madison going on tour, so is Ariana Grande, so is Charli XCX, everyone is going on tour again, it feels like. And the best place to get tickets for these tours is on SeatGeek. Also, the World Cup is in the US this summer. To get tickets to the World Cup, you can do it on SeatGeek. Like they provide ticketing for any live event. Comedy, sports, music, Broadway, anything, you can get your tickets on SeatGeek. When you go to the site and buy a ticket, you will know that the seat is good. And they have a rating system from 1 to 10, 1 being not the best, 10 being the best. You know if you're like getting a good deal. You can also use code THERAPIST for 10% off your order. And if you click the link in the description and download the app,

• 35:57Speaker 01

  it automatically applies the code therapist for 10% off your order. But we are seeing Ariana this week. We are so excited. I would like to make it to a World Cup game. Um, as we all know, Knicks in five, the Knicks just won. I'm a basketball fan. So when basketball season comes around again, you can get tickets on SeatGeek. Like they really are just the best place to get tickets for any event that you, any live event that you would like to go to. Um, once again, you can use code THERAPIST for 10% off. And if you click the link in the description and download the app, it automatically applies the code. Thank you again, SeatGeek, for sponsoring tonight's episode.

• 36:36Speaker 01

  Well, what are you therapist about today?

• 36:39Speaker 03

  Today? Today's a good day, but okay, let me try to channel some of my energy.

• 36:42Speaker 01

  Today is so far good. I woke up bad, though.

• 36:46Speaker 03

  What? Okay, so can you answer first then?

• 36:47Speaker 01

  I had a dream that I broke every bone in my body.

• 36:49Speaker 03

  I have the worst dreams every night.

• 36:51Speaker 01

  And so, and I woke up and my whole body was so stiff and like...

• 36:55Speaker 03

  You were like, do you ever have that thing where you're like, "Am I broken?" Was that real?

• 36:58Speaker 01

  Yes, I woke up and my back hurt and everything hurt because my dream, I had broken, I was at, I was with, I forget, the, the dream was weird, but I remember walking around with broken bones and then going to the Apple Store and like not being, it was so weird.

• 37:13Speaker 03

  What is, what are dreams is the question. What's going on?

• 37:16Speaker 01

  I feel like you're tapped into that.

• 37:18Speaker 03

  I am so confused. I feel like every time I go to bed, I'm like, "Well, we'll see what happens tonight." It's always something traumatic. It's always something horrible. I think I was like skinning someone last night in my dream.

• 37:27Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 37:28Speaker 03

  Legitimately.

• 37:28Speaker 01

  You know, it's because the full moons-

• 37:30Speaker 03

  What is it?

• 37:30Speaker 01

  It's the full moons in Scorpio.

• 37:32Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 37:33Speaker 01

  And so it's, that makes sense you're skinning someone because it's like-

• 37:36Speaker 03

  What?

• 37:37Speaker 01

  No, because you're like releasing, it's about, it's about unearthed stuff that you haven't gotten out.

• 37:43Speaker 03

  No, I think I just watched that like Ed Gein documentary and I think it just stuck with me. Yeah, so I think that might have maybe stuck with me a little too hard. I'm good usually with like scary stuff. That I told everyone, I would literally, when it first came out, this was a couple of months ago, I would literally go up to people and be like, "If you're considering watching it, don't."

• 37:58Speaker 01

  Which documentary is it? I want to watch it now.

• 38:00Speaker 03

  No, don't. Like actually, I'm being so for real. Like I don't get easily traumatized and scared of things. Well, I get easily traumatized, I guess, but I don't get like freaked out by true crime stuff. This is like Ryan Murphy, if you're watching this, I'm scared of you.

• 38:12Speaker 01

  Oh, was it the Ryan Murphy one?

• 38:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, you know how there was like the Menendez brothers and it's like, this was disturbing on a level that you, we don't need to see this.

• 38:21Speaker 01

  I couldn't watch the Jeffrey Dahmer one.

• 38:23Speaker 03

  See, I watched that one and it didn't like-

• 38:24Speaker 01

  Oh, I couldn't.

• 38:25Speaker 03

  No, the Ed Gein one is like way more, it's like way more like graphic. I can't even, like talking about it makes me feel sick. But my, to piggyback off of your dream, my, my, I'm therapist about my dream the other day. I literally had a dream that, and this is probably just like old, old stuff coming up because I, I had a dream- Tell me this has ever happened to you. I had a dream that my boyfriend was like being really mean to me. He's the night would never in a million years, but like in the dream, he was like being so mean to me. And I woke in the dream, I woke up and he was next to me and I was like, hey, like, why did you, why were you so mean to me? And he was just still being mean. I was still in the dream and then I woke up in real life. You've never woken up in a dream?

• 39:07Speaker 01

  No, has.

• 39:08Speaker 04

  Yes, and it's the freakiest feeling in the world.

• 39:10Speaker 03

  I literally was like, when I woke up actually in real life, he was, I was like, did that just happen? And I literally for 10 minutes didn't know if it happened or not. And then I was like.

• 39:19Speaker 01

  I've had dreams where I don't know if it happened, but I've never.

• 39:21Speaker 03

  Well, I was like, it couldn't have happened because he would never treat me like that. But like, this felt so real, especially because I woke up in my bed, in my room. He was next to me and I was like, why were you doing that to me? And he was just like, I don't know, like whatever. And then when I woke up in real life, I was like, do I wake him? Like I literally almost woke him. I was like, babe, like I just had a really scary dream. So I think I'm just pissed about, yeah, my dreams like sometimes ruining my day.

• 39:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, ruining my day. I'll, but I'll fight with people about the dream.

• 39:47Speaker 03

  It's insane. It's insane how dreams, like, I'm just like, where do we go?

• 39:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:53Speaker 03

  And I know there's like the scientific side of it, but I'm like, no, I'm living another life.

• 39:57Speaker 01

  I Google what the, I Googled what it meant when I broke all my bones. I do, I do. It meant, because I woke up so stiff and I knew, I'm so, there's some things that I'm like so anxious about and I know, like, I just, I knew what that dream was trying to tell me and I just was like, not.

• 40:14Speaker 03

  What was the meaning? Like, what was?

• 40:16Speaker 01

  It was just like, you are not secure with, you're overdoing it. You're overdoing the.

• 40:24Speaker 03

  Just everything?

• 40:24Speaker 01

  No, like you're overdoing the, like you're working out, but you're not doing it like.

• 40:28Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, aren't you on like a whole fitness journey? Wait, how's that going?

• 40:33Speaker 01

  It's, it's good.

• 40:34Speaker 03

  Are you loving like the way you feel?

• 40:36Speaker 01

  So, yes, but I felt really sore yesterday.

• 40:39Speaker 03

  Well, of course.

• 40:40Speaker 01

  And so I didn't realize I had so much weight to lose until I looked back at old photos and I was like,

• 40:46Speaker 03

  Wait, I feel like I've never thought that once about you.

• 40:48Speaker 01

  I'll text you photos.

• 40:49Speaker 03

  Oh, okay.

• 40:49Speaker 01

  I'll text you photos.

• 40:50Speaker 03

  Now I'm just invested.

• 40:51Speaker 01

  No, like, but so basically that, that's what my dream was about, was about like, just like.

• 40:57Speaker 03

  Dial it back a little.

• 40:58Speaker 01

  I think I'm just like, I'm overdoing it to the point where it's not healthy.

• 41:01Speaker 03

  Totally. I think that can happen for sure.

• 41:03Speaker 01

  I'm working out to the point where it's like. At this point, I'm just moving.

• 41:07Speaker 03

  You're just like exhausting yourself too. Yeah, I feel like I'm, I'm 27 now. How old are you?

• 41:12Speaker 01

  26.

• 41:13Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 41:13Speaker 01

  Oh, so you're in your Saturn return.

• 41:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, which is feeling good so far.

• 41:18Speaker 01

  Right? I feel like you're having a pretty good one.

• 41:19Speaker 03

  Well, I'm like, I don't feel that people like everything's gonna change. I feel like sometimes I read that it starts when you're 25 for some people.

• 41:25Speaker 01

  It does.

• 41:26Speaker 03

  I think that mine, like, I think my whole world shifted when I was 26. Like, everything changed.

• 41:32Speaker 01

  In a good way or a bad way?

• 41:33Speaker 03

  In a good way. I mean, it definitely was like, so much was changing and shedding and like, it felt like everything was literally like turning. But now I feel like it all was protecting me and like, it was all good things, but definitely like intense.

• 41:48Speaker 01

  I spoke to someone yesterday and they were like, it can start with something in your body. Maybe that's why I had that dream. Cause I'm like, I'm, I'm like 26, I'm like having like stomach shit. My bones are kind of starting to hurt. And so I'm like, oh, this is the start.

• 42:02Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 42:03Speaker 01

  I know.

• 42:03Speaker 03

  See, what I was gonna say is I, I'm 27 now and I thought that by now I'd be like wanting to work out. I hate working out. I'm not one of those people.

• 42:10Speaker 01

  Well, you look good.

• 42:12Speaker 03

  I appreciate that, but like I could, I could be better and I'm just like, I don't care. Well, I care.

• 42:17Speaker 01

  It really helps your mental. It helps your mental.

• 42:19Speaker 03

  People say that to me.

• 42:20Speaker 01

  It really does.

• 42:21Speaker 03

  Sitting in my bed helps my mental. I like to sit in my bed or my bathtub.

• 42:26Speaker 01

  You like a bath?

• 42:27Speaker 03

  You hate a bath?

• 42:27Speaker 01

  I hate a bath.

• 42:28Speaker 03

  You get hot?

• 42:29Speaker 01

  I get hot. I'm like, get me the fuck out of here.

• 42:31Speaker 03

  Really? Fuck, yeah. No, I'm a really, I.

• 42:34Speaker 01

  I love a shower.

• 42:35Speaker 03

  Love a shower as well. Like, it's not like, it's not like the bath, it's different. You don't take a bath to like, at least for me, I'm speaking on the, on, you know, for the bath community, but like, I don't take a bath to get clean necessarily. Sometimes I'll even shower and then take a bath.

• 42:50Speaker 01

  Right.

• 42:50Speaker 03

  The bath is really just a place for me to feel safe and secure and warm and.

• 42:54Speaker 01

  I sit in the shower. That's my thing.

• 42:56Speaker 03

  I sit in the shower too.

• 42:57Speaker 01

  I sit, I lay.

• 42:58Speaker 03

  I like, I'm aquatic. The water signs.

• 43:01Speaker 01

  Water, oh, is, it, okay, so is, or do we like water?

• 43:04Speaker 03

  I mean, I think so. Like, I love a body of water.

• 43:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:07Speaker 03

  I probably loved the womb.

• 43:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, probably.

• 43:10Speaker 03

  I like to just be in, yeah, warm, warm water.

• 43:13Speaker 01

  Well, you'll be touring in Europe.

• 43:14Speaker 03

  Like, tell me why, like, I watched The Matrix and he's in that like big like vat of goo. And I was like, oh my God, that looks so nice. You know, I'm like, I'm into it. So, yeah, I think I'm, I think I'm a little bit weird about it. Like on tour, all my hotel rooms have, have to have a bath.

• 43:27Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 43:27Speaker 03

  Not negotiable.

• 43:29Speaker 01

  Okay, you're like Meredith Marks.

• 43:31Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 43:32Speaker 01

  Do you watch Housewives?

• 43:32Speaker 03

  No.

• 43:33Speaker 01

  She's infamous.

• 43:34Speaker 03

  I don't know who that is.

• 43:35Speaker 01

  She's infamous.

• 43:36Speaker 03

  Do you watch Vanderpump Rules?

• 43:37Speaker 01

  No, I don't. That's her favorite show of all time.

• 43:40Speaker 03

  Okay, do you want to sit in his seat really quickly so we can talk?

• 43:43Speaker 01

  She's like obsessed with Stassi, like.

• 43:45Speaker 03

  Please, I can't. No, like my queen.

• 43:47Speaker 01

  Is it that good?

• 43:48Speaker 03

  Stop. If you like Housewives, forget it. To me, it blows out of the water. There's no comparison. Like, you're gonna freak out.

• 43:55Speaker 01

  Okay, but what is so good about it?

• 43:57Speaker 03

  We need to do a part two to this podcast after you watch Vanderpump Rules.

• 44:00Speaker 01

  I think I might start it tonight on my, on my flight.

• 44:03Speaker 03

  The sickest show of all time.

• 44:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:05Speaker 03

  What's so good about it? I think there's really.

• 44:07Speaker 01

  You're like, let me tell you.

• 44:09Speaker 03

  I'll sell you on this. Like, there's no show that is also following this friend group from like, they're, what, like, early twenties?

• 44:16Speaker 01

  They're like actually friends, right?

• 44:18Speaker 03

  Well, okay, so they all worked at Sir together. Sir?

• 44:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, Sir.

• 44:22Speaker 03

  Like Sir Pump, there's so many of them. They all worked at Sir, they're all like bartenders and stuff, and like waitstaff, whatever. They all work at Sir and that's Lisa Vanderpump's restaurant.

• 44:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:31Speaker 03

  So they just, it's like, the show was originally just following the kids that worked at her restaurant because they're so drama, obviously, but then it like, it totally exceeds the Sir storyline. Like, it becomes so much more about like their dynamics.

• 44:44Speaker 01

  Right.

• 44:44Speaker 03

  So many new characters come in. It's unbelievable. I've seen every episode three times.

• 44:49Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 44:49Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 44:50Speaker 01

  The only thing I've watched from it is the season with Scandival.

• 44:53Speaker 03

  Scandival. Well, that's how I originally got into it, was I watched Scandival and then I said, I need to know the whole tea. Like, obviously, it was crazy even if you don't know anything, but I'm like, I need to know, I need to watch the dynamics. I need to see, like, you can watch when Tom was cheating on Ariana with Raquel, like, in real time. Like, when they were, they, they don't like cheat on the show, but you can see them interact and you, once you know they were cheating then, you look back and you're like, oh my God, it's like obvious.

• 45:20Speaker 01

  Shut the fuck up.

• 45:21Speaker 03

  You guys are like flirting with each other, you're like looking at each other. There's one episode where Tom like grabs Raquel and is like, um, he says, he like squeezes her hand right next to his girlfriend. I'm like, you're sick.

• 45:34Speaker 03

  Are you Jewish?

• 45:35Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 45:36Speaker 03

  Okay. I'm like, I'm getting, I'm like, I'm now understanding.

• 45:39Speaker 01

  You can hear it too.

• 45:39Speaker 03

  No, it's, it's, my friends will trip out to me because I'll meet someone out in public and I'm like, "Oh, are you Jewish?" And they're like, "Yeah." And I'm like, "Oh, where did you grow up?" And they're like,

• 45:46Speaker 01

  "Here."

• 45:47Speaker 03

  "Where'd you go to camp? Where'd you go to college?" "Oh, I know four people you know." And then it always happens and if, if you don't know like the Jewish geography game, it's unbelievable to you. I love it.

• 45:56Speaker 01

  It is fun.

• 45:57Speaker 03

  I love to meet someone where I'm like, "You don't think we have a connection? We do."

• 46:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, you grew up in Jericho, right?

• 46:01Speaker 03

  I grew up in Jericho, Long Island, and yeah, all my friends either went to like Wisconsin, Michigan, or...

• 46:07Speaker 01

  Did you ever visit them?

• 46:09Speaker 03

  I went to Michigan, yeah, when I was, not went to for school, but I went to visit in their freshman year.

• 46:15Speaker 01

  Was it fun?

• 46:15Speaker 03

  Well, frat boys were really scary.

• 46:17Speaker 01

  Yep, well, yes.

• 46:19Speaker 03

  Didn't know that, you know? Really scary. There was a lot of like, um, I remember like a lot of beer being like spun.

• 46:26Speaker 01

  Oh, I love that.

• 46:27Speaker 03

  And I was like, "Whoa, this is crazy." And I was very, I've never even been to like prom or homecoming. Like, I've never done anything, so.

• 46:33Speaker 01

  You came to a few USC tailgates.

• 46:35Speaker 03

  I did go to USC a couple of times and I, I had friends that were in Lambeth High and it was fun. What was it called? The atrium?

• 46:42Speaker 01

  The atrium? Stop it!

• 46:43Speaker 03

  You know, like, it was fun.

• 46:45Speaker 01

  It was so fun.

• 46:46Speaker 03

  I was also like 19, so I was, I, well, I guess that is how old you are in college, duh. But I feel like everyone that I was friends with was older and so I was kind of like, I felt so cool and I would wear the little like USC outfit.

• 46:56Speaker 01

  And then the, the window above the atrium, you can look out.

• 46:59Speaker 03

  I have videos that are gonna blow your, your mind right now.

• 47:01Speaker 01

  I want to see them.

• 47:02Speaker 03

  Of me spraying champagne out of the window.

• 47:04Speaker 01

  It's so fun.

• 47:04Speaker 03

  The best ever. I honestly have this weird thing where I'll, are you very emotional? Like, do you cry a lot?

• 47:09Speaker 01

  I don't cry, but I'm very like sensitive.

• 47:11Speaker 03

  Okay, same. I literally can't watch college football games because I will literally cry because I feel like I really missed out on a fun part of my life.

• 47:19Speaker 01

  I barely went to any games.

• 47:20Speaker 03

  But it seemed so fun.

• 47:22Speaker 01

  It was. It was.

• 47:24Speaker 03

  I know, I know. And I feel like I really missed out on like a lot of stuff. I mean, granted, I was doing, pursuing my dreams, like I'm grateful for what I was doing, but I feel like people don't realize like that's something I'll never be able to get back. It's like those college years.

• 47:36Speaker 01

  There, it was, there are certain moments where it's like, you wake up and it's like...

• 47:39Speaker 03

  It's 8 a.m. We're pre-gaming.

• 47:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:41Speaker 03

  It's fun. Like, what the hell?

• 47:43Speaker 01

  What she got. Like, she went to Bama. And like, I never got that college experience.

• 47:48Speaker 03

  See, that sounds so fun.

• 47:49Speaker 01

  It was. Yeah.

• 47:51Speaker 03

  I know. My goodness.

• 47:53Speaker 01

  It was the best time of her life.

• 47:54Speaker 03

  Summer camp for me was that. It was the best time. But I also stopped going when I was 11. So I'm like, how many years did I really have?

• 47:59Speaker 01

  But also, like, you get to-

• 48:00Speaker 03

  I was like in L.A. at 15.

• 48:02Speaker 01

  Perform to sold-out crowds of thousands of people.

• 48:03Speaker 03

  Of course. But I'm like, I should have-

• 48:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:05Speaker 03

  I do also sometimes feel socially a little stunted because I didn't go to high school or college.

• 48:10Speaker 01

  Really?

• 48:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, I feel like I'm really awkward sometimes.

• 48:12Speaker 01

  I don't think you're awkward at all.

• 48:13Speaker 03

  Really?

• 48:14Speaker 01

  At all.

• 48:14Speaker 03

  I feel like every conversation I enter, I leave being like, oh, my god. I-

• 48:17Speaker 01

  Well, that's normal.

• 48:18Speaker 03

  Really?

• 48:19Speaker 01

  For me. We're Jewish.

• 48:20Speaker 03

  For us.

• 48:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:21Speaker 03

  I feel like I am awa- I don't know. And sometimes I feel like I am hard on myself because I don't do well, like, in party environments for a long time.

• 48:29Speaker 01

  I think you're harder on yourself, maybe. I don't know if I'm reading into this, because you grew up on social so intensely.

• 48:34Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 48:35Speaker 01

  So you, like, you view, like, conversations, like, everything feels like, was I, just what I said, like, how- normal in, like, is that, do you know what I mean?

• 48:46Speaker 03

  Nothing feels normal.

• 48:46Speaker 01

  Nothing feels normal, is what I'm trying to say.

• 48:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, and then I'm like, why is it 10 p.m. and I really want to go home?

• 48:51Speaker 01

  Always.

• 48:52Speaker 03

  Are you like an isolator?

• 48:53Speaker 01

  I stay, I stay, well, when I-

• 48:56Speaker 03

  Because that's like a problem for me where I'm like, oh, you smoke weed?

• 48:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, when I'm smoking-

• 48:59Speaker 03

  I stopped smoking weed, like, a year ago.

• 49:00Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 49:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, like, fully quit. Because it just, I had one night where I was like, oh, my god, I'm gonna die one day and be in a coffin forever.

• 49:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:07Speaker 03

  Didn't love that thought when I was stoned. So then I said, gonna put that down.

• 49:11Speaker 01

  I stopped for nine months, then I started again. I probably shouldn't be doing it, but like, there's like, five or 10 minutes where like, my creativity hits like, the biggest peak. And I'm like, I feel like the funniest person ever. When it's good, it's great.

• 49:23Speaker 03

  Or when you're also around really funny people and you're just laughing so hard, like, some of the best nights of my life. But I just think my brain is too wired. I feel like my brain sabotages itself. Well, me, I guess. Like, it, I feel like I'm always like, okay, don't think about this one thing, can't help it.

• 49:40Speaker 01

  Right, of course.

• 49:40Speaker 03

  Like, when I'm on a plane, I'm just like, picturing it going down. Like, I'm freaking out.

• 49:44Speaker 01

  Always.

• 49:48Speaker 01

  You guys, Prime Day is almost here, which means it's time to get those shopping carts ready and press Add to Cart because the savings are big, okay? If you know me, you know some of my Prime purchases have genuinely altered my life. For example, I have a beard trimmer that I got on Prime Day that saves my life when I don't want to fully close shave, I just want to do a quick little trim. I know it sounds silly, but it's really helpful. I got a new computer on Prime Day last year. I get some of my pillows on Prime Day, like some blankets, like anything that brings me comfort and convenience, I get on Prime Day. Also, my portable charger just gets me through my life that I got on Prime Day last year. So in honor of Prime Day, we will be doing a special Tell Me What's Wrong segment where I will be prescribing special Prime Day deals to help you solve all your problems.

• 50:32Speaker 01

  I love my boyfriend, but he sleeps with his eyes open and it's terrifying. Every time I roll over, I see him just staring blankly and it freaks me out to the point where I can't go back to sleep. Can I train him to stop doing this? Unfortunately, no, you can't. But what you can get him is a special silk sleeping mask that he will want to wear. And he'll put it on and he'll never want to take it off and then you'll never have to roll over to your boyfriend with his eyes open again because his eyes will just be open under a silk sleeping mask. I recently started therapy, but I have this problem where every time I go into a session, I literally forget everything that's happened to me or anything I was upset about during the week. And then I feel like I have literally nothing to talk to her about. What do I do to fix this and get the most out of therapy? I would prescribe a cute, nice journal that you can get on a Prime Day deal to write

• 51:17Speaker 01

  all those things that you might forget down so that when you go into therapy, you can come in prepared. I lied to a boy and told him I read a bunch of books that I never actually read and now I'm panicked he's gonna ask me about them. I really have a hard time reading, but now I don't know what to do because he's the hottest guy I've ever seen and honestly, I feel like I should start becoming a reader anyway. I completely understand this. I sometimes lie in courtships all the time to make the person like me. But the good thing is that what you lied about is fixable. All you need to do is get an e-reader on Amazon's Prime Day deal. It makes reading so much easier. It makes reading more accessible to a more digital-centric mind, if that makes sense. The time is now, so everyone Add to Cart because these deals were worth the wait. Shop Prime Day, June 23rd through 26th.

• 52:03Speaker 03

  Are you a bad flyer?

• 52:05Speaker 01

  No.

• 52:05Speaker 03

  I'm like, you need to give me like a dose for a horse.

• 52:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:08Speaker 03

  And it's still not working. Right. I'm like, sorry flight attendant, that's what this is. They're like, ma'am. No, yeah, I am out. I did ketamine therapy.

• 52:19Speaker 01

  Okay, please, my best friend loves it more than anything in the entire world.

• 52:23Speaker 03

  What? Really?

• 52:24Speaker 01

  She says it changed her life.

• 52:25Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 52:26Speaker 01

  Tell me, did it, is it?

• 52:27Speaker 03

  How many times has she done it?

• 52:29Speaker 01

  A lot.

• 52:29Speaker 03

  Okay. I've only done it three times, which I think is like, I thought that was a lot.

• 52:34Speaker 01

  And what, what, what's the, I'm scared to do it.

• 52:37Speaker 03

  You should be, because honestly, and okay, I'm not also, anything I talk about regarding like medicine or like therapy, you have to remember is like from my experience.

• 52:44Speaker 01

  But that's your journey. I feel like we need to allow people to like talk about their own medical journeys.

• 52:48Speaker 03

  But I'm just saying like you can't take what I'm saying and have it be like, oh, I can't do it. Like, this is what happened to me. I really enjoyed it and I feel like it was very transformative. And the women that I did it with are incredible and like so beautiful and they just like made me feel so safe. While I was in it, like loved it, thought it was amazing. I think afterwards I felt really sick and nauseated, which is fine and like that's not a huge deal. Mine, I think I had a lot of, I was going through a really intense breakup. And so I was just like, I need something like bigger than talk therapy because I just was feeling really rocked. Like in a way that I didn't feel I could recover from without some extra help. And my friend had done it and she was like, I really recommend it. And she had gone through a really traumatic like breakup and whatever.

• 53:31Speaker 03

  And so I was like, you know what, I am, I'm also really into mental health and like self-help. And so I'm like, I'll just try it. And if I hate it, I'll never do it again. Like what's the worst that can really happen? And I fully left my body. I don't know if your friend says this.

• 53:45Speaker 01

  I can't, yeah, she does.

• 53:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, like I was not in the room.

• 53:48Speaker 01

  I can't do that.

• 53:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was like.

• 53:49Speaker 01

  That bugs me out. Like she's like, oh, I travel continents.

• 53:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, for sure. Like, not even continents. Like you're not, you're not on like any type of fathomable, like you don't have an existence. Like I kept saying, I'm, it's everywherness. Like when I was really high, I would say that. And they're like, yeah, honey, it is. And like, it was just very like, the only way I could describe it is you go fully internal. So I'm like, basically here, let me paint you the picture. Also, you could do it in this room. Cause like I had plushies all on me, like weighted ones.

• 54:20Speaker 01

  The juice, did they give you juice?

• 54:22Speaker 03

  No.

• 54:22Speaker 01

  Oh, that my friend goes to, they give her little juice boxes.

• 54:25Speaker 03

  What?

• 54:26Speaker 01

  Eye mask.

• 54:26Speaker 03

  Oh, I was robbed.

• 54:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:27Speaker 03

  I didn't get no juice box, but I was laying there and I was just like, okay, here we go. And then you start to just obviously feel it and I am a talker. I just love to.

• 54:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:37Speaker 03

  Run my mouth. And so I was just talking and talking and then I didn't want to put the eye mask on. Cause I'm also a bit scared of the dark. And so I was like, I don't want to put the eye mask on. I don't want to be wearing headphones. Like I need to feel like I'm still in this room a little bit. You get to a point where you like can no longer talk and you no longer can participate in like, you can't see anything. I don't know how to explain it for me. I fully was like, okay, time to put the blindfold on because it's almost more comfortable to not see.

• 55:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:03Speaker 03

  Because there's so much happening in the room. So I put the blindfold on, I laid back and I feel like I went fully into my own like soul. I don't know how to explain it. And there was just no, I had no ability of knowing that I was in a body or that I was myself. You don't really have thoughts, but you're kind of just, I don't know how to explain it without sounding insane.

• 55:23Speaker 01

  I'm not sold.

• 55:24Speaker 03

  It's a very, I wish I was told how intensive an experience it was going to be. Cause my friend who told me it was like, oh, it's just like chill. No, I'm like, babe, I astral projected. Like, what do you mean? It was chill? Like I, that was not chill at all. And also you think it's like 10 minutes and it's three hours. So that was a, it was a crazy experience, but I do think it helped me a lot. I think it helped me specifically with my death anxiety. It made me feel like I can be detached from my body and it's not such a scary thing.

• 55:50Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 55:50Speaker 03

  Yeah. So it did help me.

• 55:51Speaker 01

  I will give it a go.

• 55:53Speaker 03

  Just be prepared. Like you're leaving.

• 55:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:55Speaker 03

  You're leaving.

• 55:56Speaker 01

  I'm letting Husham take the wheel.

• 55:57Speaker 03

  You're going.

• 55:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:58Speaker 03

  Full blown.

• 56:00Speaker 01

  All right. You ready to do the tell me what's wrongs?

• 56:03Speaker 03

  Tell me what's wrong, it's so cute.

• 56:04Speaker 01

  I started dating this guy and he's great, but he works way too much, like all the time. The only time I see him is in the evening. But the sex is good and he pays for everything. I like legit have nothing to do during the day because he takes care of me, but I'm starting to get uncomfortable with how comfortable I am, if that makes sense. Yes, it does. And you need to watch Real Housewives of Rhode Island.

• 56:21Speaker 03

  Is that all, that's all you have to say?

• 56:22Speaker 01

  That's all I have to say, because there's a girl on there. I don't know her name. I forget her name because it just started. But she has this sugar daddy pay for everything.

• 56:30Speaker 03

  So is this giving sugar daddy?

• 56:32Speaker 01

  I mean.

• 56:33Speaker 03

  It didn't sound like that to me.

• 56:34Speaker 01

  I started dating this guy and he's great, but he works way too much.

• 56:36Speaker 03

  But it sounds like he just works during the day. But my advice to this person would be, I don't think you should, like, your whole life shouldn't revolve around him. You should have like something to do with yourself also during the day.

• 56:45Speaker 01

  Well, that's what is happening on Real Housewives right now. She's like, I feel like I'm going crazy.

• 56:50Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, you need to like, your relationship should be a huge part of your life, but you should also have like, things outside of it.

• 56:55Speaker 01

  Also, you should be self-sufficient. And like make your own money and be financially.

• 56:58Speaker 03

  Well, that's why I'm like, don't, even though he's taking care of you, you don't, you don't want to rely on anybody.

• 57:02Speaker 01

  And yes, especially man.

• 57:03Speaker 03

  No, never.

• 57:04Speaker 01

  And like, you need to like, you're like, you need to, God forbid, something happens, like you need to like.

• 57:10Speaker 03

  You need to be okay to be alone.

• 57:12Speaker 01

  Alone.

• 57:12Speaker 03

  For sure, for sure.

• 57:13Speaker 01

  So I would watch Real Housewives and maybe also read, have you heard about the book, uh, what is it?

• 57:18Speaker 04

  Strangers.

• 57:18Speaker 01

  Strangers, yeah, but that happens. This woman is like.

• 57:21Speaker 03

  What's strangers?

• 57:22Speaker 01

  It's about this woman and her husband leaves her during COVID for another woman and she has to be like completely financially independent and it's like horrible, right?

• 57:32Speaker 04

  Uh, yeah.

• 57:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. It's like horrible. She has a horrible experience.

• 57:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:37Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 57:38Speaker 03

  Oh, that breaks my heart.

• 57:40Speaker 01

  I know, it's really sad. My friend read it, said she couldn't stop crying. It was like, yeah, she said everyone needs to read it.

• 57:45Speaker 03

  Is it true? Is it a true story?

• 57:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's a true story.

• 57:46Speaker 03

  Oh, my goodness.

• 57:47Speaker 01

  I know. He literally like.

• 57:49Speaker 03

  I can't watch Euphoria because I'm like, it's too, too close to home.

• 57:51Speaker 01

  I'm back in the deep end with Euphoria.

• 57:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, because isn't it, it's airing right now, right?

• 57:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I thought.

• 57:57Speaker 03

  Like Cassie and Nate's wedding just happened.

• 57:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I thought I was gone. Like, I thought they lost me. I really thought they lost me.

• 58:02Speaker 03

  I'm sure they know how to suck people back in.

• 58:03Speaker 01

  I watched the last, it was first episode, I was like, okay, the second.

• 58:07Speaker 03

  So can you give me a brief, like, what's going on?

• 58:09Speaker 01

  What's going on?

• 58:10Speaker 03

  Because I, the only thing I know, the only thing I know. Know is that Cassie and Nate were cheating on Matty like well Nate was cheating on Matty. That's like the only thing I know about the show.

• 58:19Speaker 01

  Matty goes to their wedding.

• 58:21Speaker 03

  Cheated Rivalry, sorry.

• 58:22Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 58:23Speaker 03

  But yeah, go ahead.

• 58:25Speaker 01

  Matty goes to their wedding and like it's just like really like they put the actors like really put on a good show. Like they put on a great performance in my mind like Sydney Sweeney.

• 58:36Speaker 03

  What what was she doing?

• 58:37Speaker 01

  Sobbing blood screaming.

• 58:39Speaker 03

  What blood from what?

• 58:41Speaker 01

  Nate owns Nate owes people money.

• 58:44Speaker 03

  Oh, so they came in like beat.

• 58:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, a lot. Yeah, well, they beat him up and then she gets hit in the crossfire. It's like insane.

• 58:50Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 58:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:51Speaker 03

  Are they supposed to be like adults now?

• 58:53Speaker 01

  Well, so this is my thing. They're like, this is post grads, but we left off when they were seventeen. It's like, are we ten years into the future?

• 59:00Speaker 03

  Seventeen in Euphoria? No.

• 59:02Speaker 01

  Sixteen seventeen.

• 59:03Speaker 03

  That is not how sixteen seventeen year olds act.

• 59:06Speaker 01

  I know, but now I'm like, this is not how people act post grad. So I'm confused.

• 59:09Speaker 05

  He's supposed to be twenty two.

• 59:11Speaker 03

  Now?

• 59:11Speaker 01

  It doesn't make sense.

• 59:12Speaker 03

  They should have been twenty two in the first season.

• 59:14Speaker 05

  I thought it was whack.

• 59:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, they jumped five years.

• 59:16Speaker 03

  They should have been twenty two in the first season.

• 59:19Speaker 01

  Right, or like twenty or something.

• 59:21Speaker 03

  OMG.

• 59:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I'm back. I'm like really like.

• 59:24Speaker 03

  Were you obsessed with heated rivalry?

• 59:26Speaker 01

  It sent me into like genuine psychosis.

• 59:27Speaker 03

  Me too.

• 59:28Speaker 01

  I remember life before it and after I was like, oh. But I was like, wait, my friend was like, please, please do not watch it until after New Year's because that era of like or the area between Christmas and New Year's is so dark, especially when you're like Jewish and you're like with the fuck, what am I fucking doing? And like, I was like, I watched it during that time period and I was like stoned all day and I was just like, oh, this isn't. I can't do this right now. Have you met any of the actors?

• 59:56Speaker 03

  No, but are you like more of a Connor or you've met all of them?

• 59:59Speaker 01

  I met, yeah, and they're so kind, so lovely.

• 1:00:03Speaker 03

  I think I'd like not be able to act normal around them.

• 1:00:05Speaker 01

  I did, of course, I did.

• 1:00:06Speaker 03

  I would not be able to act normal.

• 1:00:07Speaker 01

  I watched Connor in a movie before heated rivalry came out, this like gay movie called Riley. And I remember seeing it and then I saw you do rivalry and I was like, oh, this guy looks really familiar. Oh, my God, because I saw him in this movie.

• 1:00:20Speaker 03

  That's crazy.

• 1:00:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, every time I'm hungry, I want to break up with my boyfriend, but as soon as I eat something, usually Oreos, I'm fine again. This has happened with both my ex-boyfriends and I don't know what it means, help. I don't want to ruin relationships over dumb shit like this anymore. I hate Oreos.

• 1:00:33Speaker 03

  Are we being serious?

• 1:00:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:35Speaker 03

  Was that for real?

• 1:00:36Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:00:36Speaker 03

  I don't think that was for real.

• 1:00:37Speaker 01

  I mean.

• 1:00:38Speaker 03

  I think she's joking.

• 1:00:39Speaker 01

  You think?

• 1:00:41Speaker 03

  You're hungry, so you want to break up with your boyfriend?

• 1:00:45Speaker 03

  Then there's a deeper problem happening there, babe. Deeper.

• 1:00:47Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:00:48Speaker 03

  And also, I'm, I'm an Oreo, here's what, how I'll eat an Oreo.

• 1:00:51Speaker 01

  I hate Oreos.

• 1:00:52Speaker 03

  I'll only eat it if I like soak it in milk for, and it gets soft. I can't eat like a hard, raw, a raw Oreo is not for me.

• 1:01:00Speaker 01

  It makes me sick to my stomach.

• 1:01:01Speaker 03

  Are you like a chocolate chip cookie?

• 1:01:02Speaker 01

  I like a sugar cookie.

• 1:01:04Speaker 03

  You know what? I love a shortbread cookie. Have you had a shortbread cookie?

• 1:01:06Speaker 01

  No, I don't think I have.

• 1:01:07Speaker 03

  The way, okay, are you a sensory, like big sensory person too?

• 1:01:11Speaker 01

  Enough.

• 1:01:12Speaker 03

  Like I'm like, I couldn't, like my house, I'm like, I've got slime, I've got all those poppets. I love, love all that stuff. Um, anything sad, like I ordered a cat brush off of TikTok shop the other day because I was like, this cat brush looks like it's going to change my life.

• 1:01:25Speaker 01

  I did it.

• 1:01:26Speaker 03

  Oh, absolutely. And my cat loves it. It was incredible. But things like that I'm obsessed with. Why'd I bring this up?

• 1:01:32Speaker 01

  Because you were talking about Oreos.

• 1:01:34Speaker 03

  Oh, and I brought, this is also what happens to me. My brain just goes dark and I'm like, wait, wait, wait. I was talking about something. Don't do this to me right now. Shortbread cookies, they have this way of like, you bite into them and they almost get like soft between, I don't know how to explain it.

• 1:01:48Speaker 01

  I know what you mean. It's like hard on the outside, soft on the inside.

• 1:01:50Speaker 03

  You know some things that you want to just chew on? Like, are you a chewer?

• 1:01:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, sometimes.

• 1:01:55Speaker 03

  Like, is there stuff that you're like, I just need, like, I'm like that with bottle caps, like I need to chew on a bottle cap.

• 1:02:00Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:02:00Speaker 03

  Sometimes with like.

• 1:02:02Speaker 01

  I like ice.

• 1:02:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I mean more things that you shouldn't be chewing on. Like, I'm trying to think of a good example.

• 1:02:09Speaker 01

  Fleaves or like my.

• 1:02:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I chew on like plastic things that are like, you shouldn't have those in your mouth. I'm trying, I can't think of an example right now. Like there are certain slimes that like are crunchy that I'm like, oh, to bite into that would be, oof, it would change me.

• 1:02:25Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:02:25Speaker 03

  But I just can't do it.

• 1:02:26Speaker 01

  The closest you can get to biting into slime is whatever they have that at Pinkberry, the um, chocolate goo.

• 1:02:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, oh, so good.

• 1:02:33Speaker 01

  So good.

• 1:02:33Speaker 03

  I think that's just melted crunch bar.

• 1:02:35Speaker 01

  Really? That makes me like it even more.

• 1:02:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know, amazing.

• 1:02:38Speaker 01

  That makes me like it even more.

• 1:02:39Speaker 03

  Incredible.

• 1:02:39Speaker 01

  What's your favorite frozen yogurt shop in the world?

• 1:02:42Speaker 03

  In the world?

• 1:02:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:44Speaker 03

  There's a spot in Long Island called 16 Handles that I think is really good.

• 1:02:47Speaker 01

  I knew you were about to say 16 Handles, best.

• 1:02:48Speaker 03

  Best.

• 1:02:48Speaker 01

  Best.

• 1:02:49Speaker 03

  So good.

• 1:02:49Speaker 01

  16 Handles is the best.

• 1:02:50Speaker 03

  But in LA, I really like Go Greek.

• 1:02:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, they just opened in New York.

• 1:02:54Speaker 03

  Really?

• 1:02:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I'm so excited to go. I'm gonna go tomorrow.

• 1:02:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, are you going to New York tomorrow?

• 1:02:57Speaker 01

  I'm going tonight.

• 1:02:58Speaker 03

  Oh, wow.

• 1:02:59Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:02:59Speaker 03

  Thanks for doing this. Um, you know, I love a 16 Handles. I go cake batter and then I put that...

• 1:03:06Speaker 01

  The fucking cake batter at 16 Handles?

• 1:03:09Speaker 03

  It's so different.

• 1:03:09Speaker 01

  If you know, you know.

• 1:03:11Speaker 03

  You know, yeah, and then I do the little mini Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

• 1:03:15Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:03:15Speaker 03

  And they get frozen and hard.

• 1:03:17Speaker 01

  Oh, I like the Reese's M&M's.

• 1:03:18Speaker 03

  So, anything Reese's I love. I love peanut butter. And then I do the chocolate crunchy stuff on top.

• 1:03:24Speaker 01

  Oh, 16 Handles is the best.

• 1:03:25Speaker 03

  So good. Like, it's so good. I hate frozen yogurt that they're like, is, well, I guess Go Greek is that, but it's like so healthy. I'm like, no, like it needs to still taste good.

• 1:03:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, I used to not like Go Greek, and then like my taste buds changed, and I was like, oh, I really like this a lot.

• 1:03:38Speaker 03

  Go Greek I like if I'm in the mood for something like refreshing and tart.

• 1:03:41Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:03:41Speaker 03

  That's what I go to Go Greek for. If I'm in the mood for like ice cream, well, no, if I'm in the mood for ice cream, I go to like ice cream shops.

• 1:03:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:47Speaker 03

  Are you a soft-serve person or like a...

• 1:03:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, soft-serve.

• 1:03:49Speaker 03

  Love soft-serve.

• 1:03:50Speaker 01

  Soft-serve, always soft-serve.

• 1:03:51Speaker 03

  Is that an East Coast thing though?

• 1:03:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, it is.

• 1:03:53Speaker 03

  Because all of my friends from the West Coast own, like, when we walk, I, this scared me, like, I literally walked into an ice cream shop with my friend the other day, and there was a soft-serve, like, whatever the brand is that we all love, with, you can get the chocolate vanilla swirl.

• 1:04:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:05Speaker 03

  And she chose to get like the...

• 1:04:09Speaker 01

  Hard ice cream?

• 1:04:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I was like, I'm a little scared of you right now. Like, what? And she was saying the same thing about me. She was like, girl, what? Like, it's so much better than soft-serve. I'm like...

• 1:04:17Speaker 01

  No, it's objectively not.

• 1:04:19Speaker 03

  That's not up for debate. Like, I'm not having this conversation with you. Are you a sprinkles person?

• 1:04:22Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:04:22Speaker 03

  Sorry, this is, this whole podcast is me speaking like...

• 1:04:24Speaker 01

  Rainbow sprinkles. Have you been to Emac and Bolios?

• 1:04:26Speaker 03

  No, what is that?

• 1:04:27Speaker 01

  Oh, my fucking god. It's not soft-serve, it is hard ice cream, but it is the best ice cream.

• 1:04:31Speaker 03

  Some hard ice cream is good, but if I'm given the option of soft-serve or like, what is hard ice cream even called? Like, we're calling it hard ice cream. I don't even know what it's called. Just normal ice cream. I'm going soft-serve.

• 1:04:39Speaker 01

  Always.

• 1:04:40Speaker 03

  No question.

• 1:04:41Speaker 01

  Always. Why not?

• 1:04:42Speaker 03

  Like, the fact that that's debatable is sick.

• 1:04:43Speaker 01

  It's easier to lick, it's easier to eat.

• 1:04:45Speaker 03

  It's better.

• 1:04:46Speaker 01

  It's better.

• 1:04:46Speaker 03

  It just tastes better.

• 1:04:47Speaker 01

  It tastes better.

• 1:04:47Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 1:04:48Speaker 01

  I was pushing my friend around in her temporary wheelchair while she recovers from a broken leg. One day, we're out in the campus village and ran into this guy like. We started talking and kind and got kind of lost in our ways until the guy started yelling, yo, yo, yo. I turned around and she was rolling down the street hill headed for the intersection. We caught up to her in time. But now she won't talk to me because I put the guy first and almost maybe would have got her more hurt. Please give me a clever way to apologize so I can break the ice.

• 1:05:12Speaker 03

  Oh, my God, she almost like Regina George her.

• 1:05:14Speaker 01

  It's not your fault.

• 1:05:15Speaker 03

  Oh, my God.

• 1:05:15Speaker 01

  It's not your fault. I am so male centered. Like, I would have been like, ah, you're out.

• 1:05:19Speaker 03

  Right. I'm like, wait, I, I, no, I'm me.

• 1:05:20Speaker 01

  It is not your fault. Like, if you're talking to a guy, like, that becomes like, it really, it's just, it's sometimes it happens, it becomes your whole world and, like, you don't notice your surroundings.

• 1:05:30Speaker 03

  For sure. When I'm having a conversation with my boyfriend, my hair could be on fire and I wouldn't notice.

• 1:05:34Speaker 01

  Of course, of course, of course.

• 1:05:36Speaker 03

  To be honest with you, I, he's like the first person I feel that way about.

• 1:05:40Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:05:40Speaker 03

  Like, kind of. Like, I feel, yeah, like, I can be literally like, I, the world can be ending around me and I wouldn't know.

• 1:05:47Speaker 01

  Well, that's.

• 1:05:48Speaker 03

  Oh, which was kind of cute. It didn't even mean to be cute.

• 1:05:50Speaker 01

  That's cute. Do you feel like finally like secure?

• 1:05:54Speaker 03

  Totally. I think that, like, it's just so mature, I guess, if that's the right word, like, which I'm sure obviously comes with the age, but I think that I also met a point in my life where I'm like, what do I really want for my, like, future?

• 1:06:07Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:06:07Speaker 03

  And do I want to just, like, fuck around forever? Like, no, I don't. Like, I know what I want and I feel like that was also really big with us meeting. Like, it felt like he was,

• 1:06:17Speaker 03

  I don't know, like, he just came into my life at, like, the perfect time. It was just.

• 1:06:21Speaker 01

  Where was your first date?

• 1:06:23Speaker 03

  Dude, literally at my house because we were just, like, scared to go in public.

• 1:06:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:27Speaker 03

  We were nervous.

• 1:06:27Speaker 01

  When did you guys, like, debut publicly? Sounds so silly, but like, really?

• 1:06:32Speaker 03

  Our debut.

• 1:06:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:33Speaker 03

  It was like in August, which, dude, this was such a crazy situation because literally I, we were just trying, we weren't trying to keep it private because we cared. It was just more so like for us, it just is a lot to, I don't know, we just were like, let's, especially when you're first with somebody and dating them, you don't want to, like, publicly be out there and then what if it doesn't work out like a month later? So I'd rather it be really, like, serious at that point. So I think we just were like, we don't need to be out in public and like, you know, we, we have no problem sitting in my kitchen and talking for eight hours. So like, what, we don't need to, like, go do things and. That day was literally a my album photo shoot and he was just there and didn't know there was a paparazzi outside.

• 1:07:14Speaker 03

  And what's so crazy is we weren't even ever meant to go outside. We were only ever meant to shoot in the house and randomly the photographer was like that. The how the wall outside is really cute. We should just shoot there. I have these like big angel wings on.

• 1:07:25Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:07:25Speaker 03

  It's ridiculous. And so we like did it and nothing came of it. And then the next morning my I well, the next morning I see the photos and no one has clocked him yet. No one like it's all just my fans being like Madison's shooting something because I had angel wings on. So like, oh my God, she's shooting me for album. So no one had said anything. And then my friend who is in a Chargers discord, like he's literally in, he's a huge Chargers fan. He's in, he's like, what is this? And he like sends me a screenshot of it. And he's like, I just got this got put in the discord and like people just realized that that's Justin and I was like, this is. I knew any second it was about to like go everywhere. And I was just like, oh my God. And it was fine. I don't, we weren't stressed about it. And now we've like, obviously just embraced being kind of like public, but. It's just when something so sacred, you just don't want to.

• 1:08:09Speaker 01

  Ruin it.

• 1:08:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:10Speaker 01

  Not ruin it, give it in the hands of other people.

• 1:08:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm like, it's this is for us. This is our thing. And I feel like we've done a good job now of like, we go out and people see us, but we really are homebodies. And like, we don't really leave the house that much. And. I think that's been really good. But yeah, when it first came out, literally it was, he was also, um, I was gonna say rehearsing. I always say, I always say he's rehearsing and I always call his outfit his costume because that's just like how my brain is like, yeah, it is though.

• 1:08:32Speaker 01

  It is. What else are they doing? It's not, they're practicing, it's rehearsing.

• 1:08:36Speaker 03

  Rehearsing costume, it's all interchangeable. He laughs whenever I say that, but he like, he was on the field when the news broke. And so I was, I was worried he was gonna be panicked because he's, I was just like, I'm scared. And so then, yeah, he, he called me right after he got off and I was like. Hey, public boyfriend. And he was like, hey, public girlfriend. Yeah, it was fine. Like I, I think we were both nervous. The other person was gonna be like spooked by it.

• 1:08:59Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:08:59Speaker 03

  We both were like, whatever.

• 1:09:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:02Speaker 03

  We're in love, so who cares? Totally. We're very similar, which I think is also been something I've never been with. I feel like I've always been with people that I feel like I've always been like, oh, well, we balance. It's like, no, we are like so similar and it's been so awesome.

• 1:09:14Speaker 01

  Not about me, but my best friend and sister's husband was showing me, wait, not about me, but my best friend and sister's husband was showing me stuff on his phone at a family gathering. And while he was. And while he was, he opened up Snapchat and was showing me memories. Mind you, he's 32. The real red flag was like, he had hundreds, a hundred snaps and conversations with people. This freaks me out. Do I tell my sister? So she's just freaked out that he's 32 in Snapchat.

• 1:09:40Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, I'm like, I was waiting to hear that, like, he was Snapchatting other girls, but he just has memories and he was just showing you them. I'm guilty of that. I'm like a camera roll shower.

• 1:09:47Speaker 01

  Me too.

• 1:09:48Speaker 03

  If we hang out, I'm like, wait, look at this one video of me from seven years ago. It's so funny.

• 1:09:51Speaker 01

  Always, always.

• 1:09:52Speaker 03

  Or I'm like, let's look at my TikTok likes. I know you're dying to see them.

• 1:09:55Speaker 01

  Like TikTok likes, TikTok reposts.

• 1:09:57Speaker 03

  My memories on Snapchat. I'm like, I'm sorry, but we are kind of getting like to the age where maybe it is embarrassing.

• 1:10:03Speaker 01

  32 is crazy.

• 1:10:04Speaker 03

  Okay, yeah, we're not that age, but well, not that.

• 1:10:06Speaker 01

  32 man on Snapchat is crazy. Sorry, no offense to him.

• 1:10:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, you know what? Always tell me if you were like this. I don't know if this is because I didn't go to high school, but I never like communicated with people on Snapchat.

• 1:10:18Speaker 01

  Yes, I talk about this all the time. I never did.

• 1:10:20Speaker 03

  Talk solely on Snapchat.

• 1:10:22Speaker 01

  No, I was iMessage and I would send photos back and forth on Snapchat.

• 1:10:25Speaker 03

  Like streaks, whatever, fine. But like, I know, I think it's like the generation under us, like kids that are like 21 now. They legitimately talked only on Snapchat. Also, they have like 2 million snap scores. And I'm like, what?

• 1:10:38Speaker 01

  It's crazy.

• 1:10:39Speaker 03

  I've had my Snapchat for like 10 years and mine's not even like 100,000.

• 1:10:41Speaker 01

  And they all snap maps. It's fucking wild.

• 1:10:43Speaker 03

  I can't with that.

• 1:10:44Speaker 01

  And they like, I have.

• 1:10:45Speaker 03

  Mine's never been on my snap map.

• 1:10:47Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:10:47Speaker 03

  What are you doing?

• 1:10:48Speaker 01

  It bugs me the fuck out.

• 1:10:48Speaker 03

  I do have Find My Friend. Are you a tracker?

• 1:10:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I got a new phone and I can't track. Like, she keeps trying to track me and it's.

• 1:10:55Speaker 03

  Oh, it's not working?

• 1:10:55Speaker 01

  Does it work?

• 1:10:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, I love, I love a Find My, Find My Friends.

• 1:10:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, me too. I, I used to be the biggest.

• 1:11:01Speaker 03

  I have so many people.

• 1:11:02Speaker 01

  Because it doesn't work. My only, the only one that can track me is my best friend Alice. And she's like able to track me for some reason. And she keeps trying. It doesn't work. It drives her insane because she can't tell when to leave the house.

• 1:11:12Speaker 03

  I know. I, I need tracking.

• 1:11:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:15Speaker 03

  It saves me.

• 1:11:16Speaker 01

  Me and my best friend were walking home from the bar and took a shortcut only to.

• 1:11:19Speaker 03

  Wait, wait, we didn't tell that girl what to do. Tell, tell her sister. Do we tell? She, I mean, tell your sister what?

• 1:11:24Speaker 01

  I would just drop it.

• 1:11:25Speaker 03

  Also, like, tell, tell your sister that he's on Snapchat. I'm sure she knows.

• 1:11:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, she knows.

• 1:11:28Speaker 03

  She knows.

• 1:11:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:30Speaker 03

  She must.

• 1:11:30Speaker 01

  She must.

• 1:11:31Speaker 03

  Anyway, sorry. I should have said we shouldn't tell you what to do.

• 1:11:33Speaker 01

  This one's crazy. I got like.

• 1:11:34Speaker 03

  I'm scared.

• 1:11:34Speaker 01

  Take, it is really crazy. Me and my friend were walking home from the bar and took a shortcut only to stumble across a dead body laying there in the alley. We were so freaked out, we just screamed and ran. But now we're feeling hella guilty about just leaving it there and not reaching.

• 1:11:45Speaker 03

  Are we a part of a crime now that you just read this out loud? Did you just loop me into something?

• 1:11:50Speaker 01

  Do you think it's too late to call it in, or should we stay out of it? Well, by the time this episode comes out, I really hope.

• 1:11:54Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:11:55Speaker 01

  But I would have definitely, if I saw a dead body, I'd immediately call it in.

• 1:11:58Speaker 03

  Hello? I would hope any se- when I see a dead animal, I call it in.

• 1:12:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:03Speaker 03

  Like legitimately.

• 1:12:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:05Speaker 03

  I have a problem with that.

• 1:12:06Speaker 01

  Well, you call in.

• 1:12:07Speaker 03

  Sorry, now I'm just like, wait, let me.

• 1:12:08Speaker 01

  Like if you saw like a dead pigeon, you'd call it in.

• 1:12:10Speaker 03

  This is the confession thing, I like need to tell you.

• 1:12:11Speaker 01

  No, it's a thing.

• 1:12:12Speaker 03

  No, I, like, roadkill is a really, like, sensitive topic for me. Like, I am like, it ruins my day when I see roadkill. It really, really upsets me and I, I don't always call it in, but like, I saw a dog recently.

• 1:12:24Speaker 01

  Oh, I would have called that in.

• 1:12:25Speaker 03

  And I got out of my fucking car and I literally was on the side of the road, like, moving him out of the street.

• 1:12:31Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 1:12:31Speaker 03

  And I was just so upset and I, well, I called it in also because I was like, this could be, it looked like, it looked like someone's dog. It was horrible.

• 1:12:39Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 1:12:40Speaker 03

  Sorry, not to like ruin the mood.

• 1:12:41Speaker 01

  No, that makes me feel like sick.

• 1:12:42Speaker 03

  But it's so sad, like, I don't know, I just also, I think it pisses me off that I'm like, so many people just drive by and like, don't do anything. Like, I don't know, I try to give them like dignity. I've, I've buried roadkill on the side of the road before, yeah.

• 1:12:52Speaker 01

  Is there a lot of roadkill in Long Island?

• 1:12:54Speaker 03

  Um, way more here.

• 1:12:56Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:12:57Speaker 03

  For sure. I've like barely ever seen any in Long Island.

• 1:13:00Speaker 01

  Okay, interesting.

• 1:13:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, which you would think would be more because it's more like.

• 1:13:03Speaker 01

  For some reason, it just seems less si- like, this is more si- interesting.

• 1:13:06Speaker 03

  No, I see roadkill all the time in LA and it makes me really sad.

• 1:13:09Speaker 01

  Well, LA just.

• 1:13:10Speaker 03

  I buried a squirrel the other day and it was, I felt like I did a good thing.

• 1:13:13Speaker 01

  You touched it?

• 1:13:14Speaker 03

  With, I had some on my hands. Like, I had a t-shirt, like, I wrapped my hands in a t-shirt, but I fully brought him. He was, he was laying in, I'm assuming his gender, that's not cool. He was laying in the road though and he did, he looked completely untouched.

• 1:13:26Speaker 01

  Squirrels are boys.

• 1:13:27Speaker 03

  But he looked untouched.

• 1:13:28Speaker 01

  Squirrels are boys.

• 1:13:29Speaker 03

  They are, right?

• 1:13:30Speaker 01

  Squirrels are boys.

• 1:13:30Speaker 03

  There are some animals that are inherently, I think, like, obviously, do ladybugs are girls.

• 1:13:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, ladybugs are girls, butterflies are girls.

• 1:13:38Speaker 03

  For sure.

• 1:13:39Speaker 01

  Butterflies are girls.

• 1:13:39Speaker 03

  Squirrels are boys, dogs are boys usually to me, for sure. I mean, it's all the ones that like, aren't cute are the boys. What are octopuses? Octopi?

• 1:13:47Speaker 01

  I think they are gender neutral.

• 1:13:48Speaker 03

  They are.

• 1:13:49Speaker 01

  Well.

• 1:13:50Speaker 03

  What the hell are we talking about?

• 1:13:51Speaker 01

  I don't, of the dead body.

• 1:13:52Speaker 03

  Cause I feel like we got, well, that is insane.

• 1:13:54Speaker 01

  And I lie, probably.

• 1:13:55Speaker 03

  Oh, you're talking about roadkill, yeah, why did I bring that up?

• 1:13:58Speaker 01

  Well.

• 1:13:59Speaker 03

  Why do I do that?

• 1:14:00Speaker 01

  It's okay.

• 1:14:00Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:14:01Speaker 01

  Madison, what did we learn today?

• 1:14:04Speaker 03

  That we both.

• 1:14:06Speaker 01

  Suffer from OCD.

• 1:14:07Speaker 03

  That we both need help. And that's pretty much what I, that's my main takeaway.

• 1:14:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:14:14Speaker 03

  But you know what? That I'm not alone.

• 1:14:16Speaker 01

  No, you're not.

• 1:14:17Speaker 03

  But I'm not alone in this.

• 1:14:18Speaker 01

  And you're happy.

• 1:14:18Speaker 03

  You made me feel a lot more like the things that I struggle with are actually.

• 1:14:22Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:14:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:14:23Speaker 01

  Well, I'm so happy you left feeling that way.

• 1:14:24Speaker 03

  No, for real. Well, because I think sometimes I think it's a very, like, it's an isolating feeling when you're like, I, there cannot be that many people that are this like cuckoo.

• 1:14:33Speaker 01

  OCD is very isolating.

• 1:14:33Speaker 03

  Well, I feel crazy a lot. And I'm like, well, especially because I feel like I suffer with like anxiety and then all this stuff. And so you've definitely made me feel less alone in that.

• 1:14:41Speaker 01

  Wait, and also, the deluxe of your album will be out at this point.

• 1:14:46Speaker 03

  Would have been out. Yes.

• 1:14:48Speaker 01

  I'm so excited.

• 1:14:48Speaker 03

  Did you get to hear any of it or not yet?

• 1:14:49Speaker 01

  No, I didn't get to.

• 1:14:50Speaker 03

  Okay, okay. I'll send it to you.

• 1:14:51Speaker 01

  You sent it to me.

• 1:14:51Speaker 03

  I love it. It's short. It's only, it's only four songs.

• 1:14:54Speaker 01

  That's a lot for a deluxe.

• 1:14:55Speaker 03

  Well, I'm also just like, they were the four songs that I loved. So take and relieve it, honey.

• 1:15:01Speaker 01

  Congratulations.

• 1:15:01Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 1:15:02Speaker 01

  I love you.

• 1:15:03Speaker 03

  I love you. I'm so glad that we did this.

• 1:15:05Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:15:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, after you watch Vanderpump Rules, we'll do.

• 1:15:08Speaker 01

  Another one.

• 1:15:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:15:08Speaker 01

  A sit down.

• 1:15:09Speaker 03

  And I'm gonna interview you about what.

• 1:15:11Speaker 01

  Honestly, yeah.

• 1:15:12Speaker 03

  So wait, which Real Housewives should I watch? What's the most important?

• 1:15:15Speaker 01

  Salt Lake is the greatest.

• 1:15:16Speaker 03

  It is?

• 1:15:16Speaker 01

  It's the best.

• 1:15:17Speaker 03

  Like, I need a lot of drama and gossip and craziness.

• 1:15:20Speaker 01

  Promise you Salt Lake.

• 1:15:21Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:15:22Speaker 01

  Promise you.

• 1:15:22Speaker 03

  And you better trust me.

• 1:15:23Speaker 01

  I trust you because she's also like, you have to watch it. Yeah.

• 1:15:27Speaker 03

  Okay, okay. You vouched for Salt Lake too? Then I'm doing it.

• 1:15:29Speaker 01

  Salt Lake's amazing.

• 1:15:29Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:15:30Speaker 01

  Madison, good luck on tour.

• 1:15:31Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 1:15:32Speaker 01

  Congrats on the deluxe.

• 1:15:33Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 1:15:34Speaker 01

  Thank you for being here.

• 1:15:35Speaker 03

  Bye, pussies.