The Basement Yard
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Para los grandes, para los chicos, para los bajos y los altos, los pacifistas, los valientes, para los optimistas y los pesimistas, los que valoran lo de adentro, para los que están lejos, los que no vende lejos y los que no vende cerca, para los introvertidos y los extrovertidos, para los que piensan y los que hacen, para los que nos mostraron el camino. Coca-Cola, para todos. Compra una Coca-Cola en una tienda cerca de usted.
Welcome back to the basement.
Welcome back to the basement yard. Oh, oh, oh. I was doing it and then I started cleaning and then I'm doing it back again. I should have pissed. Ah, I should have peed before. I should have pissed. While you're locked in now. I'll hold it. I'll hold it till the ads. Don't hold it physically. And did you used to do that as a kid? Did you pinch your little pee pee? Hmm, what? You would pinch your wiener?
Let me just, one minute, 10 seconds in. Okay. You would pinch your wiener? Uh, no.
Wait, is it you who said that you used to stop your pee in the middle of peeing by pinching your wiener?
Right-handed. There is a tone coming from your voice. Is that you? Not me now. I'm not like now cutting it off just to fucking for shits and gigs. Yeah.
I have at times been able to, you know. Pinch it. Close the door, you know. Close the storm drain or whatever they say. Hold door. Hold the door, you know. But, but, yeah. You didn't do that as a kid when you had to pee, you would like? I would just kind of like fiddle with it. See, that's weirder. That's weird. The pinching makes sense. No, it doesn't. I feel like when I have to pee, I can buy myself 10 minutes of not having to pee by like. Like, like, holding your breath? Like, no, like breathing the piss back into my body.
You know what I'm no, don't do this thing that you guys do sitting in your ivory tower, looking down on me like I'm a fucking idiot.
I can't breathe my piss back into my body. Sue me.
You can't like,
and then like absorb some of your pee again?
When I, when I have to pee, you know what I do? If I gotta pee really bad, you know how you get that like pain kinda?
Yeah.
The only thing that kinda relieves that pain is if I stand like this.
Just break the whole set.
Like if I, if I stand like this.
So like.
Like I have to like be bent over.
Well, because when you're standing up straight, you're putting pressure on, yeah, see like you're putting pressure.
I'm like, I'm like throwing my shit back.
You fucking throwing it back on him?
So, so, okay, I guess that kinda makes sense.
Relieve some sort of pain, but like when I'm sitting.
I do get that because like if I'm sitting and I have to pee sometimes, I'll like.
Unbuckle everything.
Pull like my, like the waist of my pants out.
Yep.
You know, so I'm in like a more natural sitting position.
Yeah, yeah.
If I wake up and I have to pee and I'm on my left side, I could by myself like five minutes if I roll around to the other side. I don't know.
Because it has to drain back into its pee position.
Yeah, something like that. I don't know.
I'm with you there. I am, I'm honestly with you.
You're like five feet from our bathroom.
How do you know his fucking bedroom?
I mean, I'm assuming there's a bathroom.
Our bathroom, like you guys are sleeping together? What? That would be crazy, right?
Yeah. I said your, I said a bathroom.
It could be eight feet, you don't know.
I, I'm sometimes.
The point, the point is that it's close.
See, I'm sometimes.
You just don't wanna get up sometimes.
When it comes to, yes, exactly. When it comes to having to piss in the middle of the night, logic escapes just for being able to sleep comfortably, longer, and in a deeper sense.
I do close my eyes and pee sitting down in the middle of the night.
Sure, whatever works for you, but what I'm saying is like, I will push, I will push having to pee in the night until like I'm getting to that, that point of a dream where I'm like in front of a urinal and I'm like, alright, now I know if I piss in this urinal, I'm gonna actually piss the bed.
I, well, I, I actually get this part because if it's the middle of the night and I have to pee, I will hold my piss until I'm like hallucinating from pain. And then I'll go.
I, I don't know if that's a good thing to do. I think we've learned from.
It doesn't happen often.
I mean, hallucinating, that seems like you're way past like the threshold for having to do that.
Exaggerating comedy show.
I didn't know if you were actually seeing stars when you piss.
No, no, no. But you know when you have to pee real bad and then you finally get the chance to pee? And your penis is like, "We're gonna let it out slower than normal."
Yeah, like, my dick blue balls me.
Yeah, it's like, "Okay."
You wanna pee so bad, don't you?
Yeah, it's like, "Here's a little bit of pee."
You're going at my pace, bitch.
Like, when you just have to pee and you go, it's like, "You get to pee in."
Dude, I could power wash some pavers with my piss.
I know, but then when you really have to pee and you've been holding it for so long and you finally get out of the Uber and then you run into your bathroom and then you take a pee, it's like, "It's gotta warm up."
I'm telling you right now, like, I would be afraid to sit when I pee because, like, at that level, when you're saying like in the middle of the night, because I would have to aim this thing straight down. Because that stream will come out the front of my fucking toilet seat. You know what I'm saying? This thing, it's like forty thousand PSI of piss.
Whose voice is that?
Forty.
Forty thousand.
Forty thousand PSI piss.
Yeah, no, in the middle of the night, I'm sitting down, I'm closing my eyes, and I'm trying to stay in a dream while I am peeing.
If you could take a pill that would guarantee you don't have to piss during the night, would you take it nightly?
I don't pee in the night often.
Really? I piss at least once a night, I would say.
I only pee in the middle of the night if like, I had drank a lot of water.
See, the thing is, like, I don't, I've gotten better with drinking more fluids during the day, but Becca, every night, has a bottle, like a bottle of ice water next to, like, on her nightstand. So I'm more likely to be in bed and drink water because she has it in this right there. You know what I mean?
You take her water.
So I'll take her water and I won't give it back and I'll say, "No water for you."
I'm gonna get up and pee this out.
It's right there. So like, I probably drink more consistently when I'm lying in bed than when I do during the day.
What was the most annoying thing you've ever knocked over on your nightstand next to your bed?
Oh, Becca, alright, this is a real story and this was a, like, one of the first arguments we got into.
What could this be?
This is a real thing and I want you to tell me where you, where, like, if you agree with me, or probably her.
I can, before we begin, I'm on her side.
Okay.
Alright.
Yeah, I'll jump on that too.
We, uh, it was when we were like first dating, we were maybe like, a little, a little over, a little under a year into dating and she like spent the night at my place. And she had gotten a nice coffee and I don't know if your partners are like this, but she takes two sips of her coffee. And then she, she needs her big coffee and takes two sips and she's like, I've had enough. And then I've had enough. I'm like, just get a smaller coffee dude. And, uh, she left it on my nightstand.
And I went to make my bed. And again, this is 24-year-old Frankie, so cut me some fucking slack, okay? And I went to make my bed and in throwing my blanket, I knocked it over and it fell on the floor.
And I was pissed at myself, but also I, I said to her, I was like, next time, don't leave coffee on my nightstand. And I, I think now that I'm saying it out loud, I realize I was a douchebag in that moment.
No, I don't, I think.
I don't think that was, I thought it was gonna be way worse.
Yeah, that was gonna be way worse. I think you're still, you're, I'm leaning you.
Oh, really?
Keep going.
So like, I knocked it over and it was my fault, but also, her fault.
Well, not her fault. I get, I get you being like, you know, like, it's not like, don't leave it on my nightstand because I like to make my bed really hard.
You know, it's not like, you know. You were looking for, to have, to cushion some of the blame.
I think I was just in a pissy mood that day and probably was just having a bad day and I was just like.
This.
And this happened because of you. I make my bed hard.
I'm ma, I'm fluffing it.
I was laying down, whipped the blanket off me.
Chocolate milk all over.
Any like.
You're a grown adult with a glass of chocolate milk on your nightstand.
It was a red.
Also, why are you drinking milk on your nightstand?
It was a red solo cup, even crazier. It was a red solo cup of chocolate milk.
Yeah, honestly, you're not helping. What is the occasion? How does that call for? Were you 12?
It was, it was just, it just, there was chocolate milk there.
Were you 12?
I was not 12.
How old were you?
It, this was like a year ago.
Bro, why are you doing? Oh, that is crazy.
This is like a year ago.
I, I understand, like you can get away. You're taking milk to bed like a kitten. Yeah. Like, what are you? You're just like, you have, oh, let me go get my warm glass of chocolate milk. Have you ever done that before bed? Like actually, because you thought it was gonna help you sleep, had warm milk? No. I've done that. Warm milk is disgusting. There were like nights in college where I like couldn't fall asleep, so I would just like microwave a cup of milk for like 30 seconds and drink it. Why wouldn't you just have tea or something? It was college, like, you know, what's on hand is on hand, you know, I didn't have much going on. Yeah, yeah. Did you drink it out of a saucer?
Yeah, lapped it up? Not a fucking red solo cup, like fucking Asher off over here.
Don't start tossing things at me.
Asher off. Yeah, no, that's kinda wild for having chocolate milk.
The coolest guys never spilled anything in your bedroom on?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. I've spilled mad shit in my bedroom. I mean, water, I, I usually try to keep water on my nightstand in the middle of the night too. Cause if you wake up and then, you know, when you like hit the middle of the night, you're just fucking thirsty. When I have like a cold fucking thing of water and then you have like freezing cold water and then you're so thirsty, you know. I'm sucking this thing down and it's, I shouldn't have done that. But like, I was sucking, I'm like drinking this thing and it tastes so good and it makes me cool. I love that. You can do it, go ahead.
Oh, no, no, you get, you get them.
No, I was just gonna say like, it's the, it's the, the like coffee, chocolate milk, those types, like that color of liquid. That is the worst because then it stains. Like if it's water, I don't give a fuck. Yeah. I never have something that isn't water in my bedroom.
Like I don't drink and eat in my bed.
Danny, uh, one time, he had body wash on his nightstand and in the middle of the night.
What is happening in the house?
What's going on in your fucking bed?
He had body wash on his nightstand in case he wanted to wash his pits in the middle of the night?
I don't know why he had it, but in the middle of the night, he was so thirsty, fully.
Stop, stop.
Fully, I, I promise. So this is his story, but-
Was he inebriated?
I don't know.
Did he have a couple two tree?
I don't know. I think he's just a kind of a weird dude, but-
I've had like, I've had beer on my nightstand where like, I'm like the night before, like, you know, having a party, having beers or whatever. And then I just like go to my bed and I unexpectedly fall asleep. I've had beer like that.
Sure.
Tea, I've had tea on my nightstand.
I've had tea also.
You know, but like-
So maybe not just water.
Chocolate milk, like you're a fucking, like a war veteran from the forties is crazy, dude.
Chocolate milk is hilarious, honestly.
That's like, like you drinking your, you drinking your Opel team?
That's like having a plate of spaghetti on your nightstand.
Oh, that would be bad. I don't like-
What is in your nightstand?
Uh, honestly, a weird collection of stuff, like charger, a charger or like an old charger.
Anything cool?
Um, there's like a, like a journal that I never wrote in, that I always said-
That's where we go.
Yeah, that, that I always said, like, I would try writing it in, do journaling. Uh, but yeah, not, not much cool.
It's kind of like a messy drawer. Mine's messy too.
But I have all the, like, you remember I said I don't throw out the funeral cards? They're all in my nightstand.
All of them now. Like, so you, when you get new nightstands, you transfer funeral cards from nightstand to nightstand?
I don't do that actively. It just ends up being there. Where else am I gonna put them?
That's spooky.
Yeah, it's like you have a bunch of people sleeping in your room with you.
Yeah. I'm, at least none of them are drinking chocolate milk.
Alright, what are we doing?
Like a fu- like an alleyway cat.
I, I, I will say like, I learned very quickly, like, I'm big now on like no eating in our bed, although Ruby ate in our bed this morning, but whatever we could do to like get her to go to school. But like, there was one night where I got home, we did, we had like a double up day and I got home late. And the girls were in my, uh, you know, our room and they were like, they both wanted cereal. So I gave them bowls of cereal and I was like, alright, you have to have it on the floor. And I walked out and I came back and Ruby spilled hers. And I, as I was cleaning that one out, Maeve spilled hers. And I was like, never again. I'm not doing this. Yeah. Because with milk, you don't need to just worry about it staining, but then the smell, if you don't like properly clean it. Stinky bastard. Oh my god, spoiled milk smell is fucking up there with the worst smell.
Those are one of those stinks that I don't even like. Like sometimes, we talked about it. We talked about it. It stinks and you kinda like it. Oh, it's a good like. Milk stink is not good. No. You know what stink is fucking so good and stinky? Basements stink. You know what I'm talking about. It's like a little wet and mildewy down there and like. Ugh. Oh, you don't like that? I don't think so. Oh, I love. You love mildew? Not currently, but like in old basements, like you're just like, oh, this is a fucking, cause they say. Rule of thumb for when you guys are buying houses, all basements get water. Which is about how you protect against it. So like when you're down there and it's like, this stinky, like a little wet mildew basement, little hole.
Yo, you're, you're scaring me. And him.
Yeah, I'm very scared.
What's in your nightstand? Do I even wanna know? Chocolate milk?
It's just nightstand things. Stuff you might need, I don't know.
Yeah, I know. Your, your answer is what I'm worried about.
Nah, it's just nothing, nothing crazy.
No?
Titten ya.
Who?
Nothing, that's really, I got nothing.
What did you just say?
Some extra batteries sometimes for a TV remote.
A TV remote? Is that, is that what you need the batteries for, Ann? Remote? Yeah. Anal bead? Yeah, yeah, there we go. There you go, you got some, you got some stuff in there, huh?
I'm pretty sure he has a picture of you in his nightstand, so.
I mean, I'm not dead yet, so he wouldn't have a picture of me, but as soon as I die, he will.
Um. Do you have a picture of me hung up in your house anywhere?
I'm trying to think if I do. I don't think I do.
It would be like a group thing.
I do.
I do?
You do?
Really?
My conscience was in your body.
Yeah, I have, um... I don't know, someone, did you give, someone, or maybe you did? Someone, oh no, it was Lynch. I don't, actually, I have no idea. It's a picture of us, uh... On stage at, in, uh, Wilmot. But it's like, when we went to shoot the promo video.
Oh.
So it's the first time we were on a stage.
Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
So it was like a picture from the back?
Huh, interesting. No pictures of me hung up and you, huh?
I, I can't think of, I, I honestly, I know I have some, but I, I don't know if I have, have them hung up yet.
We're still, we just moved in, like, ten months ago.
Come on, Joe, we've only been there for a whole year.
Well, you gotta give me some slack.
Wait, damn, so we're finding out Ant's got some shit in his nightstand. I kind of, Ant, you getting down like that, baby?
No, it's really nothing.
Yeah, I...
The nightstand is, it's very tiny.
Stop, stop me when I'm getting close to the size.
Wow. Do you have pictures up in your room?
No.
Like on the walls?
Uh-uh.
Do you?
Um, we have some art and we have, uh, an aura frame, free plug. They're actually amazing.
Nice.
Yeah, the, the, I...
Ooh, nightlight?
Uh, no, 'cause I'm an adult. I am big guy.
I'm an adult.
Do you have a nightlight? Do you have one of those in the, in the bathroom?
Um, we have like a setting on the light that you could put on nightlight mode. But like, if you could find that button, you can, you just turn the switch, you know what I mean?
At that point, you're seeing in the dark, you're...
Uh, Ruby and Miles have, like, sound machines that have lights that come from them.
Ah.
Maeve sleeps with a light on.
I think I've said, I think I've said this, but, a full light on?
Yeah, she, uh, she is a vampire, that child.
I think I've said this before, but I still have my light up, like, stars in one of the rooms.
Antonio.
No, no, not in my bedroom, not in my bedroom.
Wait, are you saying, you know, he's too old for those? Okay, yeah, Antonio.
First of all, he's sleeping in a bedroom with stars on the ceiling and chocolate milk on his nightstand.
And then fucking vibrators in the nightstand. People are gonna walk in and arrest you.
We're feety pajamas too?
It's not my bedroom. It's in like, what used to be my old bedroom. I just never took them down.
What, so who's in there now? Danny?
No, no, no. It's just like a, an office kinda thing now.
Okay, so you could be working and look up at the stars.
Dreaming, you know?
I used to have one of those.
Those things are so cool. We got them recently and then lost them.
My parents hated when we had those because they put them up and I peeled them off and there goes the paint.
Yeah, yeah, that definitely happened at our place too.
Bro, did I ever tell you about the time?
There was one time where, you know how I used to get leaks in my house?
Oh yeah, I remember that.
So my bedroom, I was sleeping on the top bunk, my room, and our room was leaking, right? And it's the middle of the night and like it's a pretty substantial leak, like it's like water's coming in. So I had to wake up my dad. He's livid, like furious that this is happening, right? So he, it's like a little drip. He's like, oh, you gotta be... And then he, I'm on the top bunk and I can see this is all happening like in the dark, but the, the light from the hallway is like casting on his face. And he takes the drill and he drills, he drills into the ceiling and water just comes down like on his face. He goes like this and then he just looks at me and I lost my mind.
Aww.
Soaking wet face, so furious. It's like 3am. There's a hole in my ceiling now. It's just pouring water.
Yeah, that was a thing that I remember. My dad, I, I don't know if it was my dad or my mom, but like seeing a leak and then like poking it with like,
You know, a pen or a drill or something to like,
So good.
Get the rest of it, I guess. I, I don't know how that makes sense.
Bro, I have it like etched in my mind of his face covered in water.
Yeah, he's soaking wet.
Oh my god, there was another time with my dad, this is a similar story, but we were redoing the bathroom upstairs. And my dad was in the kitchen, he's going, he's telling me and Keith, he's like, go upstairs with this, uh, like a jug. And he's like, pour water down the drain, I want to see if there's a leak or whatever the fuck, right? So there, but there was a leak, so he's underneath it, he's like, alright, pour a little bit, right? He's yelling, because he's trying to get through the floor, we can hear him totally fine. So we start pouring, and he starts yelling, stop, and me and Keith look at each other at the same time, and both decide, we're like,
Not gonna stop, yeah.
Yo, he's screaming at the top of his lungs, stop, stop! Dumping water on his face.
Bro, it was so funny. He's going, what?
You can't hear you. Soaking wet.
This guy. Yeah, he was though. It's his father.
It's my dad. That is, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's funny. Bro, it was so funny.
I'm just, I'm more confused and amazed at this fucking confusing, bro, if someone, if your house was on room raiders.
People would be like, what the fuck is happening here?
Danny's room, there's body wash on the nightstand.
Body wash, chocolate milk, fucking glow-in-the-dark stars in the ceiling, and then they open your side of the nightstand, and there's giant fucking vibrators.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
How many pillows do you sleep with?
Three.
You got three.
I got, normally two.
You get one in the legs, though, right?
Legs, or, or, you know.
You hook, you get one in a headlock?
Yeah, like fucking full Nelson, and then I got one on my head.
I got two.
Well, I don't have, this is probably not great either, but, uh, like mine.
Tell me you don't have sheets on your pillows and I'll come over there and.
I have sheets on my pillows, it's normal.
Sheets on the bed.
But, uh, my bed's up against the wall.
Your headboard?
I have a headboard.
Oh, you were about to get it, he was about to get it, you saw that, right?
I have a headboard, it's up against the wall, so I put a pillow to like, stop stuff from falling over, in between the wall and the bed.
Oh my god.
Wait, what?
Does that make sense?
Why would there be a giant gap?
Oh, no, no, I, I understand. We have a wedge pillow thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, I, I use a pillow as a wedge pillow.
Yeah, we have like, they sell like big, like they, it looks like a right triangle and it's a pillow. And you like, put it there so nothing falls in between your bed and the, I, I know what you're saying.
It feels like a, uh, design issue.
Well, yeah, I mean, but you can't really tell that when you're buying the bed frame or the headboard or something like that. So like.
Or if the bottom of the wall has that weird little molding, so you can't really get the bed all the way.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, correct.
Nothing you can do about it. Happens.
Nothing you could do.
Nothing you can do about it.
Oh, God.
Fucking gonna do.
Yeah, I also sleep in an ice cold room because Becca likes the fan on every night.
Same. Fan? I don't like wind, but I like cold.
Oh, I don't like sleeping in cold.
I don't like the wind on my face.
I don't like it.
Do you sleep, do you ever put the covers over your head?
No, no, I don't. I would be too afraid of that, honestly.
Sometimes I do. I put it like this and then I go like that.
I, I put.
Stick your face out?
Yeah, you gotta stick your face out a little bit.
I, I put my, like, if this is the blanket, I take my end of the blanket and I like roll it up and put it in between my legs.
So your head not even under them?
No, I am. So I'm under it, but like it comes to like up, like it, it fucking curls around me.
Oh, okay.
Like, hey, you're packed in like a sardine.
Like a little burrito.
Like a little Colombian sardine.
Yeah, I love that. Oh, my God. You know what I was thinking the other day? Because I was burning a candle. This is so out of left field.
What the fuck is wax?
Oil. Isn't it?
But it's wax, though. It's not oil. Oil is liquid. It's the liquidy.
When you harden it, it becomes wax. Like when you burn a candle and then like, it's like.
Yeah, but at room temperature, it's hard.
You could, you could freeze something really cold to make it hard.
Like, where the fuck does wax come from? I know there's beeswax, but like, is that, that's not wax wax.
Maybe there's stuff added to it that makes it hard.
Well, what the fuck is wax then?
It's, it's oil with some shit.
But they've had wax. You're talking about modern engineered candles. They've had candles from fucking the Mediterranean. No, what is medieval?
Mediterranean.
Yeah. What is that?
It's just...
Where are they getting medieval wax?
It's probably oil and some other shit and you just mix it and then it can harden.
But what?
Isn't it weird that you can melt, melt a candle, catch the oil, harden it, and there's the candle again? What's that?
Can you? Does it all... It evaporates eventually.
It's like a little bit shorter, but it's right there.
You can create a forever candle, like, if you have like, I've seen like, there are like candle dishes where it's like a stick on the top and then like a bowl on the bottom. And, once the stick melts, it goes into the bottom and it basically creates a second candle.
That's kinda cool. Honestly, like,
I love those long, white candles and when they burn and then it gets like, like on the sides.
It looks like Halloween.
It reminds me of like, oh, like, oh, there's like an old poisonous woman who lives...
Yes!
You know?
But then they would give it to us for like, our friend went missing in the neighborhood and they would be like, "Kids, sit there and don't fucking play with these candles that are in your hand." That look awesome. And we're sitting there and there's a Dixie cup on the bottom of it and we're like, "Yeah, if you..."
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Ever been to a vigil? Those are good candles.
Great candles, bad reason to light them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, I guess a good reason to light them.
To vigilize. One time I, uh, I think I walked in the Greek thing.
Oh yeah, the Greeks.
They they got good candles too.
And they they they've got a lot of candles and they smell different from normal candles. They smell like Greek church candles.
I was baptized in a Greek church, so I know.
Why did I walk in that? That was not for me.
It was like a cool thing to do, like, so what Joey's referencing is Assyria, I don't know what it is now, but growing up, it was like the biggest Greek like concentrated community outside of Greece. Uh, and we had a lot of Greek churches and what they would do for like.
Easter or something?
Easter and I'm sure there were other holidays too. They would just do straight full on fucking parades, but they would walk like a block.
And it was like in the middle of the street, I remember.
Middle of the street.
I was at a bar one time and I turned around and I was like, what's going on? I thought it was a cult.
Yeah, yeah, they were coming for you.
Yeah, I was like, there's people with candles in the street.
But they were also short. They were like two or three blocks.
And you would walk and like, if you were a part of the Greek church, they'd be like, and they'd give you a candle. And you'd walk the streets with this fucking candle for like Saint Catherine or Saint Demetrius.
Definitely wasn't Catherine.
No, they got Saint Catherine churches.
Do they?
I know Saint Dimitri.
Oh, s. Dimitrios. Dimitrio, Saint Catha- Katerina.
I mean Catherine isn't.
It's Katerina.
Katerina. Yeah, I guess so.
Uh, Saint Yorgos. Saint Jairo.
Stavros.
Stavros, Dimitri.
Dimitri Stavros.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, that was.
I was naming people we don't know.
I I'm not even kidding. Where I did not, I had like fucking 10 minutes where I was like, where in God's name does wax come from? Cause everything comes from somewhere.
I think it's like oils, but it's like, there's probably other stuff mixed in with it.
Yeah, but how did they know that back in medieval times?
They were mixing all types of shit. I mean, they figured out how much stuff. They made wine. How the fuck do you figure that out?
They just left.
Leave this thing here forever?
They left grape juice for a couple of days. They were like, whoa, wait a second.
But why would they leave it?
Cause they've forgotten. Cause they're drunk.
And then they.
They also made mead. I wanna have mead.
It sounds disgusting.
It just sounds like a sweeter wine.
It sounds like it's like. Earthy.
My friend tried to make mead in his closet once.
There's this guy.
Who you hang out with?
It happens.
There's this guy on TikTok that makes mead, but out of different, like, he'll make like a Mountain Dew mead. Or a fucking like grape juice wine, like using like store bought juices and sodas.
I bet the Mountain Dew mead is good.
I can't, I can't imagine it's bad.
It's probably extremely alcoholic.
I, I haven't had a Mountain Dew in, like, sit down, buy a Mountain Dew, have the whole thing in like 20 years. What other places you have? Like a sip, like if someone has a Mountain Dew, I'm just like, oh, let me have a sip of your Mountain Dew. But that Mountain Dew that I had that 20 years ago made quite the impact on me.
Because I to this day have not forgotten it.
Any sort of drink that has like an electric color, like an electric green or electric blue, I'm like, God, that's probably fucking fantastic.
Hmm.
Do you remember Mellow Yellow?
What's that? It was like the other, it was like the other brand drink or what was the? X, X-Blow or something like that? There was like the, cause you know how it's like Pepsi and Coke?
The like other brand Mountain Dew is called like.
Something with an X?
Something with an X. I remember seeing the bottle and there was just a big black X on it.
Are you looking that up?
Trying.
Extreme. Yeah. And they would like give it out with like Xbox, you know, at like GameStop. You're like, here, take this copy of Blink's The Time Sweeper and have an X-Blow.
Blink's The Time Sweeper?
That was a great game.
It's an X-Blow energy drink.
No. Maybe it was.
Surge?
Surge, it might've been, no, it wasn't Surge.
Wasn't Surge like a 7-Up?
Look up mid 2000s, Mountain Dew knockoff brand drink from the mid 2000s.
It's Mountain Lightning.
Mountain Lightning?
Honestly?
They should sue them. Mountain Lightning's crazy.
Close enough, but like if you got the Dew, you're not, if you got the Lightning, you got the Dew, you got the Dew, you might not have the Lightning.
I don't even know what that means, but we do have some sponsors speaking of. We have Squarespace, okay? Squarespace is a website where you're going to build your website, alright? If you have an ecommerce business, or a retail, or whatever it is, you need a professional looking website. We use Squarespace for all of our stuff because we think that they make the best looking websites. And it's very easy because they have templates, okay? I can just go onto this website, and I pick it out, and I say, "Okay, that's the one I want it to kind of look like." I switch out all the text and pictures to make sure it has all the stuff that I need on there. And then you upload the website and you're good to go. But it's very important to have a good looking website. And like I said, I've used Squarespace numerous times, and it's very easy.
I like that they have a lot of tools to let me know where the traffic's coming from, and how many people, this and that. There's a lot of metrics and analytics that you get also with Squarespace as well. So they're kind of an all-in-one. If you're running a website, or you have a business, you're going to want to use them. So you can head to Squarespace.com/basement to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain when you use that code basement. So, build your website, head on over to Squarespace.com/basement. Save 10% off your purchase of a website or domain when you use that code basement, alright? So, enjoy that. This podcast is also sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy. So if you want to see a therapist, and you want to be onboarded pretty quickly, they have a pretty quick turnaround for getting onboarded with them. And, yeah.
It is, I will say, more affordable than a lot of in-person therapy, which can be really expensive, like hundreds of dollars per session.
But yeah, so this is like more affordable than that, and there's a lot of access as well. They have over 30,000 therapists. I'm a big advocate for therapy. I think that everyone should be in it. I've been in it for years now, and I think it's great. But yeah, so go check them out, BetterHelp. And you can sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/basementyard. That is BetterHelp.com/basementyard, save 10% off. So, go do it, alright? Go get some help, go talk to a therapist, BetterHelp.com/basementyard. And if you're working on yourself, you want to have things around you that are making you happy and smile, and you know what might help with that? If you're listening to this show, you know what might help? More of us! The Basement Yard. Basement Yard. Start it, Joey.
Not going to do it. Listen, go to Patreon.com/TheBasementYard, and you get more of us, and...
He had extra of us, too. Some of us, you get a couple of extra inches, like Ant.
Jesus. You can go over to patreon.com/thebasementyard, check out the service, alright? We got different tiers, and each of those tiers have different things that you'll get if you join those tiers. That first tier, you get these weekly episodes, one week in advance, seven whole days. So when you know when you're scrolling social media and you're like, "Oh my god, this is a new clip. Frankie looks more like Jason Momoa every single day, and he looks the most like him in this episode." Whoa, what is that? That's the new episode that the Patreon members get access to for that tier one subscription, seven whole days before anybody else. And that tier two subscription, you'll also get the seven whole days thing, but then on Fridays, uh, you get exclusive episodes, every single Friday. So you can start and end your week with The Basement Yard. And then you got Standing Out of Studios videos in between there? We're all over you! We're everywhere for you!
So go check it out, patreon.com/thebasementyard. Thank you, guys, for the overwhelming amount of love and support. It is keeping the lights on here, and it's helping us get the opportunity to plan and do some cool things for you. It helps out a lot. So, thank you. And if you want to sign up, go to patreon.com/thebasementyard on a web browser. If you use a smart app, well, the tech overlords are gonna, you know, have to take extra money from us to feed their lizard mouths. I don't know what they do with it, but you could save yourself a couple of extra bucks if you go to patreon.com/thebasementyard on a web browser and sign up that way. It's kind of a no-brainer. Thank you, guys. We are so appreciative of the love and all the support. So appreciative? That doesn't sound right. We really appreciate it. How's that sound?
Thank you so much for all the love and all the support. Go check it out, patreon.com/thebasementyard. Back to you. Every bone in my body cracked when I-
I heard the crack from here.
It was Vault Soda. I looked it up when you were reading the ads.
Vault.
Do you remember that one?
It had a big V on it, and it was like, "Vault."
Yeah, "Open the vault."
I have something.
Ooh, is it-
Chocolate milk?
Is it?
Yeah. A Yoohoo that you pull out of your bag? You were the kid that-
I would love a Yoohoo right now.
I think I've said this before, you probably had the coolest school lunches as a kid, because your family is loaded and you have giant balls.
Not back. Not when I was little. I didn't have good lunches. I traded up for good lunches. I was a good little, like-
Trader.
Were you that kid that was just like, "I'm gonna trade this paperclip for this high fee?"
Paperclips weren't high commodity, but yeah, something like that. Either way, I have a question. Have you ever looked at a couple and went, hmm, are they siblings or are they dating?
Of course.
Well, I guess if you're asking if I'm looking at a couple and I know they're a couple, then I know that they're dating. So I've never done that.
I can't even follow the logic what he just.
You invite him to parties? Um, there's this Instagram, um, page that posts pictures of couples.
Oh, my God.
Or siblings. And I want you to decipher if these pairings are siblings or dating.
For example. These two, are these siblings or are they dating?
Why does that guy look so familiar? Also, why does he look like he's AI created? Wait, that guy looks mad familiar.
He does. He actually does look very.
Wait, that's Lance Stroll. Is it?
Who's, who's that?
An F1 driver?
Yeah, there's a comment that says Lance, what are you doing here?
I was like, what the hell? Am I going nuts?
Who's, yeah, well, hold on.
Oh, my God, yes. Lance Stroll, the driver.
That's, I, I knew, I knew for. It's, sorry, hold on. That's Lance Stroll.
So do you know?
And he drives for?
You know who he drives for, Joey. You don't want me to do this. And do you know who he drives for?
Brr.
Come on.
Brr?
Mrr?
Nice try, idiot.
Tell him.
We're gonna say it at the same time. I mean, come on, classic. It's a car brand.
What color?
I mean, who sees color nowadays?
Well, okay.
Um. He, can we say it together just so I know that you know? I know my fandom is con- concrete.
I'm done.
Three, two, one.
Nice try.
Um. I believe he's Canadian.
That helps.
That does. If he was from... I'm not gonna do that.
Well, I don't know what you're saying, but like, I believe he's Canadian, so her wearing a Giants hat...
Canadians can drive?
That's a little joke. I don't know why I did that. There's nothing about Canadians about them not.
I'll get it down.
So I'm thinking that these people are dating because she might be from New York, but I believe he's Canadian.
What do you think, Frankie?
Yeah, I mean, again, Joey's using context clues here, and I am very appreciative of it. Uh, the New York Giants hat, if he is Canadian, uh, they don't have football up there. Uh, but they are sitting mighty...
Like, if this is your sister, that's a crazy pose.
Yeah, I'm going to say... Dating.
I'm saying dating, too.
Whoa!
Dude, siblings.
Alright, okay.
Siblings.
Hey, man! I love my siblings. I don't know if I love them...
Yeah, that's a little...
Like that?
That's too much for me.
That's a lot.
Alright, what about these two? Siblings are dating.
These two look familiar, too. Am I crazy?
Yeah. That guy doesn't ring a bell.
Siblings are dating.
He looks like a scarecrow to me.
He looks like...
He looks like a werewolf as he's about to transform.
Look at his hands. Are his hands on his, like, bigger than his head?
I'm gonna say these people are...
I'm hoping dating, but, you know, I was thrown off by the last one.
Why are you hoping?
Again, that's like a weird pose. I would never sit with my sister like this.
Yeah, that is a very...
Hands kinda on the side butt?
They also don't really look alike.
Yeah, they don't look alike at all.
Like, normally you could see people, and you'd say like, "Okay, I could see the relation there."
The features are significantly different.
Yeah, I'm gonna say that they're...
I'm gonna say dating.
Dating.
Dating?
That's a...
I'm noticing a pattern here.
0 for 2, 0 for 2.
Okay, alright.
Jesus Christ.
Alright, what about...
These two.
I don't know what they are, dating or siblings wise, but they're fucking staring at me and I feel a hole being burnt in my forehead.
Yeah, this is kinda wild.
This is like what, when you look out and you like, when you look out of your window and you hear an owl, this is what you expect to see, those eyes.
Mm-hmm. I will say, I'm gonna say they're siblings, but if they are dating, they shouldn't. Because clearly they are related.
Got it.
I will tell you this, if they...
Yeah, they look, they, they look very similar, like, look at the, like, the lips. Yeah, like, they, they have the same face shade, lips, the eyes. Their nose is kinda similar in its build. Listen, man, I, I think, again, if they are dating, then I think they should both do like a 23andMe and then they will find out that...
Mm-hmm.
There's something going on.
Yeah, I'm gonna say siblings here.
This guy's gonna end up like Frank's family or something.
Whoa, whoa! Where's my family catching strays here?
I meant your one uncle or whatever.
There was one cousin that did marry another cousin, but he's distant enough that it has no blood bearing on me.
These two are dating.
Wow.
Yeah!
I mean, good for them!
Now I'm just gonna go with the opposite of what I think.
The opposite of what you think.
Yeah. That's crazy, wow.
Alright, so let's go... Why not...
Here. What do you think?
But now you got nine to a locking in.
Yeah, I mean, what, now that we've been wrong about every single one...
This is like, a less uncomfortable pose if you're siblings, but still not great.
There's, have you ever heard of this thing that people do, where it's like, the, the like, lean challenge in a picture or something like that?
What is that?
Where it's like, they draw a line with the person's like, posture and it's like, the person that's leaning cares for the person more or something like that. I, I, I don't...
Look like dark magic.
Obviously, I don't know it well enough to be able to describe it, but...
It actually looks like they might have multiple pictures, you wanna go to the next one?
It might not have the answer. Okay. This help, hurt?
That does look a little dating, though. Like, it looks a little like, "We're dating!"
Hey, we're dating!
Like, hey, it's us. You know us. We're dating.
Um, okay. Is there another one or no?
Um, there might be one more. I don't, here we go. Nope.
Oh, they're dating!
I was right.
There was a sneaky four down here, but I don't know what that last one's for. Oh, it was a, they got it, they got it.
Oh, got it. Interesting. Alright.
Have you ever had like a, like a a weird like, oh no, that's my sister moment, or something like that?
I think I've, I've told you the story where my sister and I were doing karaoke and we were singing Paradise by the Dashboard Light. And then midway through the song, had the realization of what the song is about and stopped and just walked off the stage.
We, it was like, okay, this is...
Yeah, we're like, ugh.
Yeah, time to, time to go.
Alright, what about here?
Oh, that kinda strikes me as siblings.
Wait, is it?
I'm gonna say siblings because...
Wait, there's no way to, what the?
There's no way to tell?
Let's, let's keep that one.
Why?
There's no like, answer.
For some reason.
I was gonna say he kinda looked like Kid Rock.
Oh. Alright, let's go here. Siblings are dating.
Ooh. That's a tough one.
Um, is that a mullet?
It's a little mullet.
Oh, that makes me lean one way a little more.
They're both very freckled.
That makes me think that there's a possible Venn diagram situation going here.
Uh...
You said freckled, like it's a...
They're very freckled.
They're freckled.
Yeah, they are.
Um...
I'm gonna say siblings. Cause they do look very similar. I'm looking at like, teeth structure.
I'm looking at all like, even the smile, there's similarities, the bone structure, the cheeks.
They look
similar.
They're under an umbrella. So that makes me feel like they're dating.
What an unbelievable...
It's the umbrella every time.
How, how would that even, how did you even get to that?
I don't know, man. What about...
Oh, man. I'm finding I'm awful at this.
Yeah, not very good at it. Some people just take photos together that are like nuts. What about here? Siblings are dating.
Well.
Uh. Oh, that's, that's really tough.
I kinda wanna say.
They're, I'm gonna say they're siblings.
Again, they do look similar.
Yeah, their eyes.
I think because I wanna say dating, I'm going to go siblings.
I wanna say siblings. This is like my sister and I. Siblings?
I, how, how am I this consistently bad at this?
How can we not get one? Yeah.
I think I got one and you got one. We both single-handedly got one.
Have you ever seen like a couple in public and like, be like, oh, they must be siblings and then they kiss or something like that?
We recently spoke about like you will see like people on first dates and you'll like imagine like what they're talking about and stuff.
These people are siblings.
Siblings?
Yeah, I can just tell. The eyes, the eye, like the structure of the forehead and the eyes.
I do noth- I, I win nothing by being contrarian here, so I will, I will agree with Joey.
Siblings, siblings. Siblings.
Great job.
Got one.
Really good job.
That never happened to me, but what did happen to me was the opposite. So one time I was at a wedding and there was this girl there. And. Uh. I was with Impy. And we were like dancing at this wedding. I mean, we, we know this girl. You know who she is too. And. First and last. Nope. Um, and, uh. Initials. If I gave you her initials, you wouldn't know who it was. Um, but we were noticing, we thought that she was like fighting with her boyfriend or husband or something. And we were like, damn, like they're like clearly like unhappy people or like whatever's going on. And then we saw them in the airport and it was like their whole family is like, oh, this is her brother.
So like they didn't look that alike, but I thought they were dating for some reason. Cause they were like fighting or something. And I was like, I thought they were like, I don't know.
Interesting. There was like, there was like a
Those people are siblings, right in the middle, those white bastards.
Here?
Nope, nope, nope. Dead center.
Yep. Those white bastards, those are siblings.
Absolutely.
Frankie?
They have to be. This, there's the bone structure is so niche and unique. They have to be siblings.
Man, that's so tough. I don't know. The eyes, the eyes are so different though.
But the jaws.
The eyes are so different.
There's no way.
I'm gonna go dating.
Get out of here. How did you find your jaw match? That's unbelievable.
There was a, growing up, I'm not gonna say, not even growing up. It was later until like my like teenage years. There was like
A, a, a family that was like tangentially around like the friend group and stuff like that. And, uh, I'm not, obviously not gonna say who they are, but like the joke was that the brother and sister were like really close.
Whoa.
Like, like
Bonjour compadre. It's the
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Know these people?
Um, yes. You've met, not, I wouldn't say know them. Like if I told you their name, you'd be like, uh, like if I Not well enough.
It was around you, not me?
No, no, no, like, they had come around like once or twice.
Uh, oh, did they? No, maybe they didn't. But like, the, the, the point of it was just like, they were very like,
Ew.
I'm leaving the room, I'm coming with you. You know, like.
A brother and sister?
Yeah, and like, just people just being like, Okay.
You know, like, well, they didn't know. It was weird.
But, mm, okay.
What?
No, no, no. Is it like, friends were making fun, or was it like, family was like, huh, you know?
I don't know who was making fun on their end. I, I can only tell you that the people that I heard from, everyone was just like, Hmm, huh, interesting.
There, there was once I saw, like,
oh, they're siblings? I was like, oh.
I mean, there, there, there's definitely like,
Ugh.
Yeah. There's like weird lines like that, that, yeah, you can't.
But also, like, if I was like, at a thing, right, and I saw,
like, if I was at your house, and your sister was there, and she was sitting on your lap, on a love seat, and had her arm around you, I'd be like, what are you doing?
Yeah, I get that.
I'd be like, ugh, like, I get it for a second, but like, come on.
It's, I, I think,
You're gonna park it there?
Listen, I'm not gonna sit there and say that you're wrong completely. I think that there is like a weird, like, there, there is an age, and I don't know what it is, where like, that becomes from like, it's just like siblings, to like, weird.
Like, into, seemingly all the people we're seeing here are into their adulthood.
That's when it gets a little weird. But like, if it's like, you know, 12, and your older sibling is like 14, like, it's, and you could, you could kind of chalk it up a little more.
Well, I also can see how an older sibling that has a very young sibling would be more affectionate. Like, if, if the older sibling was like,
18, and their younger, like, sibling was like 5.
Or like 10, or something.
Like, that's like, you know what I mean? Like, that's, that's different. But like, close in age, like, you guys are two years apart, and you're both like, in your mid twenties, and sitting on each other's laps is a little wild to me.
Yeah, I agree.
Anyway, we do have some sponsors.
We're going right.
Before we continue with the possible I word, uh, we do have some, uh,
I word?
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And lastly here, we have this guy right here, the Angry Orchard, okay? Don't get angry, get orchard. And this is a hard cider. This is a crisp apple taste. They're delicious, okay? We have some here at the studio here. I've had one or two, not today, but a different day. And they're, and they're amazing. I love them a lot. Actually, the first time I ever had one, not gonna say it because that's a big brand, but it was a theme park. You could put it together. It's the number one hard cider in the country. Uh, but it is really good. It's available at bars, restaurants, retailers. You guys will see this in stores. You'll see it in, in bars and stuff. So you can try it out. Definitely.
The basement boys are telling you angry orchard. Try it out. Delicious. It's gonna blow your mind. Okay. It, like I said, it's a hard cider. Um, but yeah, so. Go get that. Go enjoy it. You can go to their website or you, you just pick it up whenever you're out and about. There's two apple, two real apples in every cider. I like them. They're good.
I forgot to PP again.
Again?
Yeah, like I was supposed to go pee, but I forgot again.
Don't say PP.
Why not?
Thirty-four.
Whiz?
Not, not nineteen ninety-eight.
Is that better? I'm gonna go whiz.
I gotta go. I hate when people say, I gotta go take a leak. I'm like, ew.
Oh, take a leak. I, I'm fine with. I hate the one where they like tell me about their penis where they go like, I'm gonna go drain the main vein.
It's like, definitely not.
That's not your main vein.
Definitely not.
Your jugular is your main vein.
Are you telling me you're gonna go slit your throat back there?
Jug, jugular is an artery. Um. You know that?
It's a vein though.
Name one other artery.
Your carotid. Whatever that is.
Alright, good. There you go.
No, you got it. Yeah.
Carotid.
And the femoral.
Right.
I know that one because of Dexter.
And it's in the leg, the femoral.
Yeah, next to your.
Femur.
There you go.
I honestly just did that with context clues. It's just something I like to do.
I'm, I'm surprised you knew the femur was a bone.
You don't respect me.
I do respect you.
You don't respect me as a human.
I, I, first of all, I absolutely.
You don't think I'm smart?
I do, I do. I, first of all, I.
Two hundred and six. Two hundred and six.
I talk about how smart you are all the time. I think that you are incredibly smart.
Okay?
You think I don't know what a femur is? It's the most famous bone.
Who's the most famous bone?
Humorous. It's kinda funny.
I got it.
Yeah, write that down.
That's gotta be like a hundred dollar fine or something.
Why? Whoa, whoa, whoa, why am I getting fined?
I vote for the tailbone.
Tailbone is not.
Tailbone's not the most famous bone.
The worst named one is the coccyx. I'll tell you that.
Definitely not by your cock. And there's only one of them.
Mark them down again. Yeah, I got it.
What? Come on! Why am I getting marked there? That's fucked up!
Um, what is the most famous bone? Collar?
Collar's a good bone.
Skull.
Skull? Is the skull a bone or a collection of bones?
It's a skull. You know, it's a skull.
But is the, but isn't, aren't there bones?
Are teeth bones?
No, those are enamel.
It's teeth. I think it's like what our nails are also made out of, or is that? You know what? Watch, you know what, watch this, watch. I don't really know.
Yeah, I can't accept the answer of skull. Cause it's 22 separate bones.
There we go. See, I told you.
Nose.
Nose bone. There is no nose bone. Your nose is cartilage.
There's no bone.
Are you seri- so, hold on!
That's bad.
So, hold on. See, now, you think I think you're an idiot, cause I, I'm surprised that you know the femur's a bone. But there you are, spewing out, you got a nose bone.
There's no bone whatsoever, so what do people break? Still their nose.
They break the cartilage.
You ever see a skull? It has, it's not, there's nothing there.
Yeah? You know, wait.
You can break cartilage.
What do we, now, hold on.
You better hope there ain't a bone in your nose.
I'm gonna get in trouble. You better hope too.
No, but again.
Giggles?
In trouble. Is there a nose in your bone?
But yeah, well, like.
That's backwards. Is there a bone in your nose?
No, no, no. Don't, don't.
No, no, it's cartilage, it's cartilage, it's cartilage.
This is the hardest cartilage on the planet, then.
It's cartilage, it's cartilage.
Damn, so I was right. See, I knew it. You're an idiot.
There are bones in your nose.
No, no, no, don't, don't read that part.
But that's the answer.
They only make up the top part, specifically the upper third. Yeah, the bridge, bro. This is hard bone. Yeah, but it's not a nose bone.
He's kinda, alright, now I'm back on.
It's jutting out. This is your nose here, buddy.
I'm back on Joey's smart and Nancy's idiot.
The two lower thirds are made of cartilage, which is why the tip of your nose is flexible. Yeah, like this part. I didn't think this was a fucking bone, obviously. But this is a bone.
See, I'm so sorry. Do you see what, do you see what he made me do? He gave me incorrect information to gas me up. Here I am, a gas.
Well, I think that... It was a trap just to see if Frankie would jump ship, and he jumped ship right away.
I did, I did jump ship. But now I'm back swimming on your ship. Alright, swimming over back to your ship.
Swimming.
I left my ship of calling you an idiot, but now I believe that you're smart again.
The, the problem is, that, that bone isn't considered your nose.
I mean, but it makes up your nose.
I mean, this is what I'm referring to.
It makes up the structure of your nose.
But when someone breaks their nose, I'm assuming they're talking about the bone. And you can't break cartilage?
Yeah, you can.
I think that's the whole point of it being cartilage, is that it won't break.
You can't like, break this. You break the, like, the bone.
See, I'm sorry. I, I'm here to apologize. Admit my wrongdoing.
That's why you're here.
Uh, yeah, not because I get paid.
I wanna... I will bow to you if you need me to.
Ew. Actually, no, that's... Let him bow, make him bow. I would like to, I think we should, we should take that from the Japanese. We should bow, that'd be cool. Like, saying hello.
Well, I think...
How you doing?
We've, we've taken a lot from the Japanese over the last century. I think we should, you know.
Are you referring to the technology or the lives?
I'm referring to a, an all-encompassing
view of it. I, I do like bowing. And I'll do you one better. I want to like, if I ever go to Japan, I want to be told what to do. Like, I want, so like, I saw recently that there's a minor league baseball team where Hideki Matsui was there. And I was like, oh, this would be so cool if I went and got to meet him, but would I shake his hand or would I bow? Cause I wouldn't wanna be disrespectful, you know, I wanna make sure I'm being responsible and, you know, respectful.
But I want someone to say like, "Hey, by the way, you're meeting Hideki Matsui. You can bow or you can shake his hand." I just want to be told.
His nickname was what?
Yeah, I'm not-
It was Godzilla, right?
Yeah, I, looking back, it was 2003 when he made-
Hideki Matsui's nickname was Godzilla. I can imagine you being a little drunk off sake, be like, "God-"
I know, I know.
Godzilla!
Hindsight, hindsight, it was- Why give him that nickname? You know, that was bad.
Shout out to Hideki Matsui. World Series MVP, right?
2009, yeah. If you look at those numbers, boy, oh boy, did he put on a clinic.
He was slapping the thing.
He put on a clinic.
How did we get here? What are we talking about?
I thought the nose didn't, I can't believe-
Oh, what I was saying, "I am sorry."
Oh, we're back.
I am-
I don't really know how to accept it.
I am, can I?
"I'm sorry."
Okay, it's okay.
What more do you-
Let me finish.
So you know what I'm sorry for.
What's so funny, Giggles?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
No, no, wait what? I'm gonna apologize.
No, no, no.
I'm gonna fucking apologize to you.
You stop.
Yo, I'm not stopping.
Frank, you have your hands under the desk?
No, no, no, I'm sorry. I was just playing with the loop of my- What did you think I was gonna do?
Loading up something. Or the last time you did this, you had a fake wiener.
So, I don't know.
I did, I did, I did. I'm not doing either of those things. I was just playing with the loop of my drawstring.
"I am sorry."
"I incorrectly assumed"
"the status of surprise"
"thinking that you knew what a femur was, and that was diminishing your intellect." "I will never question you again." "Please don't let this" "be the end of us."
I can't even begin to explain how uncomfortable that is to sit through.
I'm not apologizing for the nose thing. I don't think it's the nose.
I know that you don't.
You're only doing that to be contrarian. Has anyone ever told you you're contrarian?
King Conch over there.
King Conch? Yeah. Whatever I got fined, triple it and fucking swallow it.
Triple it and fucking swallow it. That was bad. King conch.
Alright, I'll write it.
You know, I feel like you don't even write stuff over there.
There's a bunch of stuff. Should I start posting what I write?
No. Yeah, that would be funny.
I'll start posting.
What is with your hat, by the way? You've worn it a bunch of times. What does it mean?
Vroom?
It's the sound of carbines.
This is this-
I'm back to thinking you're a fucking idiot.
I know that!
I'm so sorry.
This is, uh... This is from the Carathon.
It's from-
Cargo Vroom.
Yeah, it's coming up. July.
You plug another thing and I will cut your head off. I will come over there-
Can I ask you a serious question? And this is like a legit question.
Wait, wait, be careful. Don't set me up here.
Let me buckle in.
Don't set, don't set me up here because-
Do you, do you like-
Do you like specifically wear Picky Boy stuff to come here and record?
It's just all you got.
I have, that's all I got. That's all I got. It's literally all I have.
It's just all I got.
It's all I have.
Alright, I was wondering.
I threw out more clothes to make space for more-
More Picky Boy stuff.
I did.
I'm with you. I love the Santa Gato Studios merch and like the show merch and all the stuff that we did. I'm dead serious. I'm not like trying to be like a "Go buy it, shop at Santa Gato Studios." I, like, we make legitimately good quality shirts and stuff. Like, those tour shirts were unbelievable.
Yeah, they were.
They were so good.
Ooh.
Like how they feel. I, I'm tactile, you know that.
Do you just pull stuff out and you touch it?
If I'm gonna buy a shirt, I need to feel it and make sure I like it first.
Are you a fidgety guy?
Did you get really into fidget spinners when they came out?
No, I, I, I, I, I don't know if I had one or if someone I knew had one and I played with it. Uh... But I, I'm sure I fidget.
I love a fidget spinner.
Fidget spinners, like, I like the ones that were like, it was like a cube and it had like a button or a-
My sister got me one of those.
Yeah, that I, that I like.
Yeah, 'cause it's got buttons and the other one's like a joystick?
Yes.
And then there's ones like a switch. You get tick, tick, tick, tick.
Yes, that one's good.
And I'm like, ooh, I like that.
I do like, I pick at my fingers, which you know is an issue that I have.
Yeah, see, you're playing some defense there.
Yeah, I'm, I mean, hey, man.
Sorry, that was good.
Whoa, you loved that one!
That was funny. I didn't expect it. 'Cause of the, 'cause of the Band-Aid. To stop yourself from chewing your thumbs off.
You didn't notice that he wears Band-Aid? Are you crying?
Yeah, a little bit.
Oh, you laugh at fucking alcoholics too, you freak?
He's a-
You fucking heartless bitch?
What are you talking about?
What's that mean?
Oh, that you're an addict for this?
I'm not an addict, but it's just, it's how I cope.
You know why he has to cope?
I don't know. Well, they could get infected, and I don't want that to happen.
Are there any teeth marks in the Band-Aid, because you forget sometimes?
That was a good question.
I gotta say, I gotta say-
Me?
I don't like what he's doing, and you're kind of fucking-
Well, first of all-
Gently pat- patting him on the back and pushing him in that fucking direction.
For the last 10 minutes, I feel like this is not my show. You guys have been- And I'm Switzerland.
He's gonna bow again. He needs to, yeah, alright, sorry.
You bow, and you bow too. Thank you so much. This is not, this is not my show. You heard him say that? Mine. And then he looked at us. I'm so sorry.
No, I'm saying that you guys are going back and forth with each other. First of all, that thing puts you in a good mood. If that's not selling you on angry words-
Yeah, I'm trying to- Yeah, Jesus Christ. You went from fucking he-he's and ah-hahs to giggles McGee over there.
Accurate.
Accurate. Gosh.
My bad.
Gosh, gosh, gosh.
What's, now, what, what are you laughing about?
Now, you gotta giggle.
Now, what are you doing? What the hell is funny with you?
I think you said it, bro. I don't even know why I'm laughing now.
Now, this is no longer my show. How's that? Bow to me.
That's not even what I meant by that.
Bow to me.
Oh, well, how am I gonna do it?
The deeper the bow, the more respectful the respect.
Oh, that was a good bow.
That was a good bow. Now he's breaking shit. This episode is getting off the rails. You're drunk, you're an idiot.
You don't know bones.
I know bones.
Can you name, how many bones can you name?
Two hundred six. No. Oh, I can't name that.
I asked you!
Collar bone. Femur.
I almost said Lima. That's Peru.
Yeah, that is in Peru.
Uh, nose, skull.
Well, the skull's a collection of-
Mandible.
The skull's a collection of bones.
It's twenty-two bones, actually, so he named twenty-two.
No, if you just say skull, that's like if I say baseball and I named all the players.
Okay. I don't think-
Finger.
Those are called the phalanges.
Elbow. Forearm.
Is elbow a bone?
No, probably not. They probably have like crazy Jurassic names and I don't know them. Do you know bones?
I know some, humerus, tibia, fibia, femur.
Tibia's a good one.
Uh, patella.
That's a tendon.
Patella tendon.
Isn't the patella your kneecap?
It is your kneecap.
Thank you.
What is the patella tendon, then?
I think it's the patelin.
Is that what attaches to the kneecap? Kind of thing?
I thought the patella was the patella tendon.
I, it says patella.
Maybe it's, it's-
Victor Cruz broke his.
Oh, no.
Years ago.
I don't care about Victor Cruz.
That's the reason why I know it.
You think I care about that?
You should.
Phalanges. Coxics. Hip.
Mm-hmm, ribs.
Rib bone.
Spine, dude, spine.
No, but isn't the spine, like, there's the thoracic spine, there's the lumbar spine? There's like different parts of it. Yo spine, the spine is fucking crazy dude.
There's fluid in it?
Bro, there's fluid, there's little like, little discs of shit in between the bones.
And then like, it has like, it, it looks like a spine, if that makes sense.
Like.
The fact that there's oil in it, not oil, like liquid, and you gotta like, like it's like mad important.
Bro, you take some of that liquid and people will like lose feeling in their legs and shit like that.
Yeah, what is that? It's like magic liquid.
Uh, I don't know what kinda liquid it is, but spinal fluid.
Yo, we're idiots.
Ocular, what's this shit called?
Uh.
Oh my god. UFC fighters break it all the time.
Ocular.
What is this shit called? Your eye bone.
Optical lens?
Why's that funny?
Orbital?
Orbital bone.
Oral.
We don't know any fucking bones dude, but we don't need to know bones.
Cheek bones. Yeah, who the fuck are we? We're not doctors, believe it or not.
Also, if a doctor, what is a doctor gonna do with knowing a bone? If I broke my bone, I wouldn't be like, "Name the bone." I'd be like, "Fix the bone."
Well, I hope they would be able to tell you which bone it was so then they can fix that bone.
But forget about knowing the bone. If I break my arm, I don't even need to be like, "Oh, you know what the, the scientific name for this is?" I'd be like, "Doctors fixed my fucking arm."
Well, it's good that they know it, but you don't need to, they don't need to show off.
Eh.
Like the waiters that sit there and remember, you know, your fucking order.
Full circle. Is that this episode?
I don't even know.
No, that was not this episode.
They all seem to fucking mend together.
It's all meshing together.
Meld together. Oh, completely random. And, it's not your show anymore.
You see the trailer for the, oh, you're bowing to me again?
No, that was to him.
How far down can you get?
Don't.
You see the trailer for Evil Dead Burn?
Wait, before you answer that, you ever try to suck your own wiener?
Wait, before you answer that.
Uh, probably.
Are you happy?
Probably?
Which one, which one to me? Happy?
Same.
I'm asking you a question.
I'm asking you a question. I said, have you ever sucked your own wiener? And you said, probably.
No, no, no, no, attempted, you, you said.
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Well, how, like?
I didn't get close. That was probably the follow-up. I kind of jumped that gun.
No, I wasn't even thinking that, but I mean, that's a fair question.
Have you?
I don't think so.
You haven't tried?
Frankie looks like a trier.
No, I have not tried because I'm flexible enough to believe that if I did try, I would do it.
Oh, you think you could get that thing there?
I, not now. Maybe like 10 years ago.
In your prime?
In, in, in prime flexibility age, yeah.
And I wouldn't want, like, I wouldn't be able, like...
How do you live with that?
It's Pandora's box.
And you know what I mean?
Once you open it. It's, once you pop, you can't stop.
You're a cursed world.
Once you pop, you can't stop.
Is it actually possible?
I can guarantee, bro, there are people bending the other way.
I mean, you could fit, you could, you know, like, if you see, like, gymnasts, they can, like, fold in half. That's true.
I mean, I don't know, because like, if you bend someone at the hip, like, just like the angle of where, if this is...
I'm not gonna use that.
No, yeah, yeah.
Can't bend that. Alright, say this is a person.
Okay? And say this, not, not drawn to scale, obviously. And this is their wiener. This is their mouth.
Like, when you bend...
Yeah, it's like, not lining up.
It's not lining up. So like, you'd have to like, bend and like curl...
To like...
There's have to be a very, very flexible and very thin person.
Yeah, I imagine.
You know, which...
No, I wasn't saying, I was saying, me.
You saw that, right?
I was saying, like, I saw that, right?
No, oh, no, now you're on his side.
I'm always on his side.
You have to be legally.
I signed something a while ago.
Employment-wise, you have to be on his side.
In the court. The court says you do. But no, no avail.
No avail?
No avail.
Well...
Maybe if you try real hard.
Get someone on OPL.
Who's like, "I do this."
"I do this to myself. I found out and I did it forever."
I'm sure that maybe will pop up one day.
Yo, that, could you imagine?
What a, like, conundrum.
Yeah. Like, and this is a, this is a serious question here.
Would you consider that a homosexual encounter?
It's masturbation, baby. Yeah, I don't. I don't think so.
If you... That's masturbation plus. That's a premium account.
Yeah, that is, to be fair.
I don't know if I'd pay for it.
There's no ads. There is no ads.
There's no ads. So what if you had a clone?
That's like Mickey 17. I didn't see the movie, but I know that was in the trailer. Robert Pattinson was fucking himself.
Well, I fell asleep in that movie. Not because it was bad, but because I was, I was a little tired.
Oh, wait, you actually watched it?
It was on.
You didn't get to the part where he had sex with himself?
I would have remembered that.
Hmm. Interesting.
I didn't get the whole, I didn't, I got like 10 minutes in.
I mean, clearly you missed the whole.
Mark that down. I feel like we're getting off the rails here, and maybe we should just...
Oh, hello.
How do you end a podcast after talking about sucking your own wiener? Yee old conversation.
I think you transition into something that's a little more palatable. Let's talk football!
Football.
Football. Are you ready for some football?
We're not even close to football season.
I know, I know, but they're announcing the schedules soon, if they haven't already by the time this comes out. I'm excited. I'm trying to clean it up for fucking the end of the episode, Joey. Forgive me here.
Yeah, we went from talking about bones to sucking our own wieners. That was completely my fault, by the way. I want to take full blame.
You should. And you know what?
Oh, oh.
Oh, that was a good one.
I'm going to, I'm gonna, I'm gonna bow to the audience as well because that one's on me, but we're gonna end that there before this gets even, even, even more, uh, uh, uh, and then it's all the time.
You!
Yo, that fucking phone gets me every time. Every, that is one of the best additions to the show outside of me.
That has ever been made. The, yes, outside of me.
What is that? What'd you write down?
Boo.
He just does nothing, but I'm letting you know, I'm letting you know, you and I are gonna have a talk solo.
And then you'll disseminate the information to him.
Ooh, what's that word? I like it.
Disseminate? Like trickle it down to him?
Oh. Seminate's crazy. That sounds like I'm doing it.
Like you're doing, like you're seminating yourself.
Yeah, it sounds like we're right back into the conversation now, fuck.
Again, my fault. Frank, where can they find you?
He looked up to make sure to disseminate, actually remember what it is, and it is, so he doesn't want to say it because I'm right.
You too? He's right?
The Frank Alvarez is all over social media. Go check it out. Check out Patreon, patreon.com slash the basement yard and the basement yard at all forms of social media.
And?
At Prisco on Instagram.
And you can go follow me at Joe Santagato. Go follow the show at Base Me Yard on TikTok and Instagram. That is all. See you guys next time.
Beautiful.
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