#532 - Decorating For The Holiday Season!

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• 0:01Speaker 00

  Pink Pantheress here. Coach and Spotify are teaming up to bring music and style together, and they want you to be part of it. Grab your friends and head to the Tabby Tour, hitting cities around the country with live performances from special artists, exclusive experiences, and personalized products. And discover custom playlists on Spotify, booked just for you based on who you are and how you listen. Live your story with Coach. Learn more at coach.com.

• 0:28Speaker 01

  Welcome back to the basement.

• 0:34Speaker 02

  Welcome back to the basement yard. Are you scatting?

• 0:39Speaker 01

  No, I'm doing like the beginning of like Christmas songs when they have like the bells, but they're like, not bells. You know what I'm talking about? It like, it sounds like it's just like.

• 0:54Speaker 01

  You know that?

• 1:01Speaker 02

  That's a great add-on to that song. Dude. The ding ding dingaling dong ding in the background? Amazing.

• 1:07Speaker 01

  Happy holidays, Seem.

• 1:08Speaker 02

  Happy holidays, got the trees.

• 1:09Speaker 01

  Merry Christmas, we got trees.

• 1:11Speaker 02

  Got a tree, they're naked.

• 1:12Speaker 01

  And they won't be.

• 1:13Speaker 02

  They won't be naked, baby.

• 1:15Speaker 01

  And decided to put them up for the fucking, for the episodes.

• 1:18Speaker 03

  I also have a tree.

• 1:19Speaker 02

  You also have a tree, yeah.

• 1:20Speaker 03

  Mine's right here.

• 1:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:21Speaker 02

  Right, exactly.

• 1:21Speaker 01

  This art is not imitating real life right now, because your tree is probably more likely bigger than both of ours combined.

• 1:27Speaker 02

  Wait.

• 1:28Speaker 01

  Remember these big fat cock guys?

• 1:29Speaker 02

  Oh, that's what you're talking about. Yeah, you got a big, what a loser with his big dick and balls!

• 1:36Speaker 01

  Oh, let me guess. Life is so great having a massive dong.

• 1:40Speaker 02

  Oh man, how am I even gonna drag this around the whole holiday?

• 1:44Speaker 03

  I am doing a perspective thing for sure, because this tree looks way bigger on there than what it is.

• 1:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, I mean, that's...

• 1:50Speaker 02

  Part of it, that's part of it.

• 1:51Speaker 01

  That's part of the game, my friend. You gotta play the game in order to win the match.

• 1:55Speaker 02

  What's your favorite Christmas song?

• 1:57Speaker 01

  Uh, you're gonna hate my answer. I've told you this a million times and you hate it.

• 2:00Speaker 02

  Is it Jingle Bells?

• 2:00Speaker 01

  No, no, no, it's Melaka Liki Maka.

• 2:03Speaker 02

  Oh, you're one of those guys.

• 2:04Speaker 01

  Well, it was my mom's and like, she always...

• 2:06Speaker 02

  Was it?

• 2:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, my mom is a big Bing Crosby guy.

• 2:10Speaker 02

  Your mom seems like a, um...

• 2:14Speaker 01

  Fucking Michael Buble guy. Michael Buble was, is only around the last 20 years. She had a whole lifetime prior to that. Yeah, but once you hear Mikey Bubs. Mikey Bu- don't get me wrong. Yo, his voice is like butter, dude. I'm telling you right now, if you can take like a s- a piece of silk and make it into a human being, that's the bubbles. This, his voice is like, I feel like he could cure me. I remember the first time I saw him, it was at like a 2003 or 2004, like they did, remember they would do like the Christmas tree lighting? And it was like a big thing people watched on TV. I'm sure they still do it, but it's not as cool anymore. Yeah. Because Whitney Houston isn't there. Okay.

• 2:57Speaker 01

  That's the first time I heard they were like, and you know, here's Michael Buble. Mikey Boobs. And I remember at the time should be like, this guy's got something. Yeah, here we go, Simon Cowell over here. Fucking Michael Buble, one of the most like easiest voices, like it sounds like he's not even trying, he's like, "I've yourself," oh my god. Whoa, you had it there. You started, you should've kept going. You started. I could do one note, but that's it. That's it.

• 3:22Speaker 01

  I know, I know where to stop. Yo, he's, the guy's good. Mikey Boobs, dude? And I'll tell you this though, but I'm gonna be honest about Mr. Boobs. Talk about the boobs. It's his Christmas stuff that is the hits. His otherwise stuff, it's okay. Oh, isn't he, that's kinda wild. Sway with me? But that's, that's a cover. What's that? Doesn't he only do covers? No. First of all, no one's disrespecting the boob in front of me. Don't, don't let him talk about boob covers like that. Don't talk about, yeah, you're not talking about boob covers, you're talking about bras. Mikey Boobs, but the, the Christmas album, absolutely ridiculous. Dude, and he is one of those people that has done the unthinkable, and he has put new Christmas music

• 4:06Speaker 01

  in the stratosphere of like iconic Christmas music, because most of the Christmas music that we like is 70 years old.

• 4:13Speaker 03

  I apologize to the boobs. What is a song that he created involving Christmas?

• 4:18Speaker 01

  Don't fucking disrespect the boobs.

• 4:20Speaker 02

  Involving Christmas?

• 4:21Speaker 01

  No, I see what he's doing. He's rage baiting him.

• 4:23Speaker 03

  No, you said you, he added new.

• 4:25Speaker 01

  I'm saying his version of Christmas songs.

• 4:27Speaker 03

  So they, the covers.

• 4:28Speaker 01

  Are so, shut up.

• 4:29Speaker 03

  So you're saying the covers?

• 4:30Speaker 01

  Shut the hell.

• 4:31Speaker 02

  Yo, you're disrespecting the boobs. I'm judging. I'll come over there and I'll fucking shove that fucking tree in your ass. You talk about the boobs like that.

• 4:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:37Speaker 03

  I like the boobs, was just asking a question.

• 4:39Speaker 02

  Yo, Mikey Boobs, you know what's funny about that Christmas album? You know the song like? Santa baby.

• 4:45Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 4:46Speaker 02

  Da da da, da da, da da da. When he does it, he goes, "Santa buddy." Cause he's not gay, dude.

• 4:53Speaker 01

  Cause he's not gay, dude. He's not gay.

• 4:55Speaker 02

  Santa buddy!

• 4:56Speaker 01

  The boobs understands. He's not like, it's not Santa baby, cause he's not trying to like.

• 5:00Speaker 02

  He's like, "Yo, I'm not calling the sh-" I'll, I'll sing Christmas songs, but I'm not calling them baby."

• 5:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, what do you think they shaved? You think they were gay people in the seventies? No way!

• 5:08Speaker 02

  I'm fucking Mikey Boobs, I'm not gay!

• 5:09Speaker 01

  Nah, Mikey Boobs.

• 5:11Speaker 02

  Santa buddy!

• 5:12Speaker 01

  I'm pretty sure he's married and has a family.

• 5:14Speaker 02

  He seems like a very nice guy. Let's get that out of the way.

• 5:16Speaker 01

  Let's make that very clear.

• 5:17Speaker 02

  I love Mikey Boobs.

• 5:18Speaker 03

  Right. To be clear, also a cover, right?

• 5:22Speaker 01

  See, like, see, what, see, what are you trying to do?

• 5:24Speaker 02

  Yo, yo, you're gonna, you're fucking, you're going down a bad way right now with me.

• 5:29Speaker 01

  You're going down the wrong alleyway, and guess what? We're the thugs at the end, ready to stick up for boobs.

• 5:34Speaker 03

  I think he would meet me in the middle, but.

• 5:35Speaker 01

  No, we'll let you get there, so you got a sense of comfort.

• 5:38Speaker 02

  First of all, it's our alleyway.

• 5:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, don't tell us how to operate our alleys.

• 5:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, we wait, you think that you're safe when you're halfway through.

• 5:43Speaker 01

  Keep your boob talk out of our alleys, you know what I'm saying?

• 5:45Speaker 03

  Got it, got it, got it.

• 5:46Speaker 01

  I just, he has done, like, his versions of Christmas songs.

• 5:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:51Speaker 01

  Hold up, I'm looking up this album now. I'm not, I'm not taking this shit. They have gone into like, it's very hard to crack into like iconic Christmas music. And he's one of, I would say, four modern artists that has done it. Obviously, Mariah Carey's the other one. Well, she, I mean, that might be the greatest of all time.

• 6:09Speaker 02

  Cr- fucking, what's his name? Beebs.

• 6:11Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 6:12Speaker 01

  Overrated.

• 6:13Speaker 02

  What's overrated?

• 6:14Speaker 01

  His Christmas music.

• 6:16Speaker 02

  It's...

• 6:17Speaker 01

  It...

• 6:17Speaker 02

  I can't, what am I gonna say to that? I mean, it's just like, it's an insane thing to say to people.

• 6:21Speaker 01

  I will say this. At least his was original. You know who has a shady...

• 6:24Speaker 02

  It wasn't!

• 6:25Speaker 01

  Was it? Yeah. Some of it was. You know who has a shady...

• 6:28Speaker 02

  There's a song called "Christmas Love"? Banger.

• 6:29Speaker 01

  Who cares? You know who has an incredible, original, I think, Christmas song that is also a big, we're big fans of here at the Basement Yard? K. Clark. Kelly Clarkson.

• 6:43Speaker 02

  She's so... Bro!

• 6:44Speaker 01

  (singing)

• 6:46Speaker 02

  That song?

• 6:49Speaker 02

  Hit the fucking desk harder, so we can all hear. Jesus.

• 6:54Speaker 02

  Yo, that song, it does, there's no lead-in, it's just like, boom, we're off to the race.

• 6:59Speaker 01

  And she's just fucking like...

• 7:01Speaker 02

  Banger.

• 7:01Speaker 01

  I love slow, like Nat King Cole, you know, like, I love that.

• 7:07Speaker 02

  There's a candle and it's snowing.

• 7:08Speaker 01

  But when you get punched in the mouth by Kelly Clarkson's vocals?

• 7:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:14Speaker 01

  Nothing is preparing you for it.

• 7:15Speaker 02

  Usually Christmas music is like more slow and it's like a cozy song and you're laying on the couch, whatever, but that song's like someone threw a present in your fucking face. Just like, bang, Christmas slut!

• 7:25Speaker 01

  Wait, you never answered, what's your favorite Christmas song?

• 7:27Speaker 02

  Oh, I, I, yeah, I didn't. Um, also, I'm looking up the, the tracklist.

• 7:32Speaker 01

  Is it all out?

• 7:33Speaker 02

  To the, to the boob. Um...

• 7:34Speaker 01

  It's all covers.

• 7:35Speaker 02

  It's...

• 7:37Speaker 01

  Most...

• 7:38Speaker 02

  Pretty much. But that doesn't matter. The thing that he's done, which I think is even more impressive,

• 7:43Speaker 01

  Is he's made him...

• 7:44Speaker 02

  He's taken these songs and been like, these are mine now.

• 7:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:47Speaker 02

  And these are better than the original versions.

• 7:49Speaker 01

  Andy Williams who?

• 7:51Speaker 02

  Perry Como? Don't think so.

• 7:53Speaker 01

  Well, hold on, Andy Williams, that one I really like.

• 7:56Speaker 02

  It's a banger, don't get me wrong, don't get me wrong.

• 7:57Speaker 01

  When you hear those bells,

• 8:01Speaker 01

  it's the most...

• 8:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:03Speaker 01

  I'm like, forget it, bro. It just, it, I hear that song and it puts me in like, holiday rush mode, you know what I'm saying?

• 8:09Speaker 02

  I'm shopping during that.

• 8:10Speaker 01

  I'm shopping, you know, and I'm running around with the bags like this, like,

• 8:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:13Speaker 01

  where are the toys?

• 8:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly.

• 8:15Speaker 01

  I, I, I'm fully in on the Andy Williams.

• 8:17Speaker 02

  It's the most wonderful time!

• 8:20Speaker 01

  Also, we gotta give credit to our girl Brenda Lee. Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree is quite frankly, just an all-timer.

• 8:27Speaker 02

  I feel like it's a little over. I think, I think, I don't know.

• 8:31Speaker 01

  Wait, what, what's your favorite Christmas song? I can see yours be, I think I know it.

• 8:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think you do.

• 8:38Speaker 01

  It's the Mariah Carey.

• 8:40Speaker 02

  No, it's not.

• 8:40Speaker 01

  Oh!

• 8:41Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, it's hard to not, like, that is a great one, but like, I really like the fucking NSYNC song. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays.

• 8:54Speaker 01

  The fact that's even in your top 10 is bananas to me. It's a good song.

• 8:59Speaker 02

  What?

• 8:59Speaker 01

  It's a good song, dude.

• 9:00Speaker 02

  It's a hit.

• 9:01Speaker 01

  I wouldn't...

• 9:04Speaker 01

  Yeah?

• 9:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:07Speaker 01

  I don't even think it deserves to be in the fucking sniffing competition.

• 9:11Speaker 03

  You could sniff it.

• 9:12Speaker 02

  Frank, that's not an expression at all.

• 9:15Speaker 02

  It doesn't deserve to be in the sniffing competition. What's your favorite Christmas song?

• 9:18Speaker 03

  Mine doesn't have a good rep right now.

• 9:21Speaker 01

  Oh, is it? Baby, it's cold outside?

• 9:23Speaker 03

  Baby, it's cold outside.

• 9:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:24Speaker 02

  That is a great song, but I...

• 9:25Speaker 03

  It's so good.

• 9:25Speaker 01

  But it is a little sexually aggressive.

• 9:28Speaker 02

  A little?

• 9:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:29Speaker 01

  A lot of sle-.

• 9:30Speaker 02

  Bro, let the girl go home.

• 9:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:31Speaker 02

  Jesus.

• 9:32Speaker 01

  But, I will say, the version in Elf, my favorite.

• 9:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:36Speaker 01

  Ooh, you're going Zooey Deschanel?

• 9:38Speaker 02

  She kills that, bro. I love hearing that. And even like, Will Ferrell be like...

• 9:42Speaker 01

  No, but like, no, but they do...

• 9:43Speaker 02

  Fuck with that.

• 9:44Speaker 01

  So he does it in the movie, but like, there's someone that does like, an official cover with her. That voice is caramel in a chocolate. I don't know exactly who it is, but, "Baby, it's cold." I can't even do it proper justice.

• 9:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:58Speaker 01

  That is a good one. It is sexually aggressive, so you're getting cancelled.

• 10:01Speaker 03

  I do think they redid it. I think they redid it and took out some of the...

• 10:04Speaker 01

  I mean, if they redid this song, it should be, "Baby, it's cold outside." I really can't say, "Okay, let me call you a cab." Or, "Okay, let me escort you home." He's just like, "No, come here. What's in this drink?" "Oh, what's that?"

• 10:14Speaker 02

  What is that about, by the way?

• 10:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's not great. It's really not great.

• 10:16Speaker 01

  Say, "What's in this drink?" He's like, "Shh, shh, shh, it's cold. Come on."

• 10:19Speaker 02

  She's like, "Why is my drink fizzing?" He's like, "It's freezing out there."

• 10:23Speaker 01

  What's that tab at the bottom of my drink? And he's just like, "It's so ice cold."

• 10:27Speaker 02

  I love that he wasn't even backing down from like, "It's cold." Like, "It's just cold outside."

• 10:32Speaker 01

  Like, that's the only thing he needs.

• 10:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, that's all he could think of was like, "I, I, it, do you not understand it's freezing?" And then he tries to like, find other ways to like, work that in, where he's just like, "It's up to your knees out there." Like, "You're not even gonna be able to make it home, dude."

• 10:46Speaker 01

  First of all, if the snow is up to my knees out there?

• 10:48Speaker 02

  I'm playing in it.

• 10:49Speaker 01

  I'm going out there. Oh, you think I'm not making a snow angel, dude?

• 10:52Speaker 02

  When's the last time you played in the snow?

• 10:55Speaker 01

  Every year. Really? Like you go out and play in the snow? What is playing in the snow? Like roll around, jump around, throw snowballs? Oh, I'm rolling. Really? I'm rolling every year. Good for you. I'm glad. That's more like me than like you. How can that be? Because you are more like, when it snows outside, I need to open my emails and talk about bottom line and gross margins. The thing is, you don't know me at all, clearly. No, I know you quite well. Oh, and I'm, oh, I'm Frank, I'm the quirky guy, so I go and I make a, shut the fuck up! You're damn right, I'm the quirky guy. Fuckin', I'm looking up songs right now. You know what sucks, dude? That song, I don't even know if it's a Christmas song, it's, oh, it is a Christmas song. War is over. War is over.

• 11:37Speaker 01

  I mean, that's John Lennon, yeah, why, oh, well, because he starts up, "Well, so is Christmas." That's fire. That part's cool. "What have you done?" Hate the rest of the song, though. I mean, I will say, the only Bruce Springsteen song that I like is his version of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." That's a good one. It's like, "We got a, a drum!" Yeah, no, Bruce Springsteen, dude, that's my favorite. He's like, "Hey, man!" "Clarence, you got a Santa Claus gonna bring you a new saxophone on round." Yeah, man. "You better good man, dude." And he's just like, "You better watch out." "Oh, you better watch out, you better not cry." It's, it's, it's the only good Bruce Springsteen song, I will go out and say that, on the record, and I'm gonna get killed in Jersey for saying that. Yeah, that's fucking crazy that you think that. I mean, what's, what's better than that?

• 12:23Speaker 01

  I don't know what's better than that. What is good? "Glory Days." He's just screaming, "Glory Days!" That's a great song, dude. Vague, who cares? What's the other Bruce song that I know of? "Born a Run!" "Born in the USA." First of all, those are all... They're really good. Yo, "Born a Run" is so good. Mid, mid, mid, mid, at most. No, it's not. "Born a Run" is unbelievable. It's just him. "Hey, we were born who, uh..." Listen. It's pretty good, an impression. I gotta be careful, because it's pretty good. Yeah, you're, honestly, you're on a, you're on a vocal hit this morning. I don't know what's happening. I am going to get some shit for my Springsteen slander. He lives like, I think like 25 minutes from where I am. He will come over here. You know what that means? No, no, no, no. The property taxes are unbelievable out there.

• 13:06Speaker 01

  No, his property taxes are way, his were in the hundreds. Frank, you don't know this song. You scared the fuck out of me right here. Sorry, I got mad excited because I saw the words right there. You don't know this song, probably. Because it's, it's a, it's like a- It's a Christmas song by Ariana Grande. Oh, I know it. Santa, baby, when you're ready, yeah. That is it, but- Never come and save us all. That's probably like my favorite Christmas song right now. I blast that song. That, I, I was talking about Miles with that song this morning. He was just like, wait, she sings too? And I was like, she's the total package, dude. Holy shit, he's like, oh, that's crazy that people don't know Ariana Grande sings. Well, he's, he's only, he's only 10. Yeah. You know, he really only knows her from Wicked. And I was like, yeah, she acted, then she sang, and now she's back to acting, and I'm sure she'll do singing again.

• 13:50Speaker 01

  Uh, but, uh- Santa, tell me if you're ready, yeah. I can't, I mean, clear, I can't hit the whistle though, you know what I'm saying? You're not Ariana Grande. Yeah, I'm not Ariana Grande. She's a pop anomaly. Let's make it very clear. She's not very grande, I will say that. She's very- She's very pequeña. Yeah. You know? She is. Uh, but, uh, what were you gonna say? Um, I don't know. Okay. Was I, was I gonna say something? I don't know. So I would say that like, modern Christmas songs, these are my top five modern Christmas songs that have broken into being all-time hits. Okay. Mariah Carey, "All I Want for Christmas Is You." Duh. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. Is that modern? Was that 92? I mean, I- Hot take. Uh, no. Hot take what? Hot take what, though? That it's old, or that it's like what?

• 14:35Speaker 01

  God, here we go. Hot take what? That song's kinda overrated now. That song kinda sucks. Joey, call the gunsmith. Ask him to fashion two guns we can brandish that shoot 100 bullets. I'm gonna call the North Pole and put you on the naughty list, you fucking piece of shit. First the Mikey boobs and now this? What, what do you like? Not much.

• 14:55Speaker 02

  Get out of there.

• 14:58Speaker 01

  I'm calling the bomb company.

• 15:01Speaker 01

  We're calling 1-800-bomb on you. Yeah, hey, bombs, bombs.com. Bombs away. Bombs, Bombs R Us? Make one for Ant. I just, I think, All I Want for Christmas Is You. Sure. Anything by Michael Buble. The Boobs. We could put the NSYNC song in there. It's not my favorite, but I could see its appeal. It's, it's, yeah. The Ariana Grande. Santa darling, whatever it is. Santa tell me. Sure. And, uh, Kelly Clarkson.

• 15:40Speaker 02

  It's a, it's just a, it's just stupid. It's a good day today.

• 15:49Speaker 01

  She's so good.

• 15:50Speaker 02

  Yo, I got gooseies. I got gooseies.

• 15:54Speaker 01

  Give me one Christmas song you like. It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas?

• 15:58Speaker 02

  It's beginning.

• 16:00Speaker 01

  Dude, you know who has a banger of a Christmas album too?

• 16:02Speaker 02

  Who is that?

• 16:04Speaker 01

  Is that, is that Andy?

• 16:07Speaker 01

  It might be Perry Como. I mean, I'm sure all of them did a version of it. Uh, but Elvis got some bangers.

• 16:15Speaker 02

  Bro, am I the only one that sees Elvis and I go, who like that?

• 16:19Speaker 01

  Dude, horny teens in the 50s.

• 16:21Speaker 02

  I know, but I'm like, I'm like, listening to him and I'm like, what is this?

• 16:25Speaker 01

  Nah, he's, he's got some, he's got some songs that I could see the appeal to.

• 16:30Speaker 02

  That's what I'm hearing.

• 16:31Speaker 01

  It, it's, it's just clearly he stole the sound from Chuck Berry, did it himself, and everyone in the music industry was just like, a white man doing it. And they're like, now we love it. Bing Crosby. Okay.

• 16:41Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, Bing.

• 16:42Speaker 01

  We've talked about him.

• 16:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, we've talked about him. Big Bang Boom Crosby, baby.

• 16:46Speaker 01

  There's some stuff there.

• 16:47Speaker 02

  With all these guys.

• 16:49Speaker 01

  Every single one.

• 16:50Speaker 02

  Any sort of white person who's singing a really good song, and it's filmed in black and white, I'm like, alright.

• 16:57Speaker 01

  And, I mean, we need to look into this. Let's just look, anyone, I would say 90% of them, pre-19...

• 17:05Speaker 01

  99.

• 17:06Speaker 02

  You know what's a red flag for me? When it's black and white and the white people are holding a skinny microphone. I'm like, look into that.

• 17:13Speaker 01

  Oh, like the Lawrence Welk show? Where they're just like...

• 17:16Speaker 02

  Just, just look into that. Cause there has to be-

• 17:19Speaker 01

  There might have been some stuff with Bob Barker too. He kept that skinny microphone to the end.

• 17:23Speaker 02

  Well, that one's extra skinny. That one was super skinny.

• 17:26Speaker 01

  No, they all had some skinny dick microphones.

• 17:27Speaker 02

  Well, the ones that are like, "heep!", and it's like a little pop.

• 17:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, dude.

• 17:30Speaker 02

  It's like a fucking, you know what I mean? Like a Q-tip.

• 17:32Speaker 01

  Alright, so the crux of this episode, which we were getting to, because we could talk Christmas music all day, is, we decided that as we were doing these Christmas trees, holiday trees, if you feel attacked by us, I know how much Ant hates that.

• 17:47Speaker 01

  Uh, we decided we were gonna bring in some ornaments to decorate them.

• 17:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:49Speaker 01

  It's the Santa Gato Studios Basement Yard way. We spread cheer. We lay it on thick.

• 17:54Speaker 02

  Right.

• 17:55Speaker 01

  Velvety.

• 17:56Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 17:56Speaker 01

  Like the silky sounds of the Michael Boobs.

• 17:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, Mikey Boob-Blay.

• 18:01Speaker 01

  Uh, so-

• 18:02Speaker 02

  Damn, let's get him on the show and have him just fucking serenade us.

• 18:05Speaker 01

  I would do a whole episode with just Michael Boob-Blay singing to us.

• 18:08Speaker 02

  I will throw an episode away to do that.

• 18:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:12Speaker 02

  Just have him stand right there and whenever he feels like it, sing. And I'll just shut up.

• 18:17Speaker 01

  Uh, he's gotta sing cool stuff. If he starts throwing out like the religious Christmas songs, I'm off.

• 18:22Speaker 02

  Bro, Little Drummer Boy?

• 18:26Speaker 01

  What is that song?

• 18:27Speaker 02

  Who cares?

• 18:28Speaker 01

  Even-

• 18:28Speaker 02

  Who cares about this little kid that can play the drums? Yo, you know what's a banger? Noel. That I actually thought of.

• 18:35Speaker 01

  Noel, Noel.

• 18:36Speaker 02

  Oh wait, no, not Noel. Not that. There's another song that I'm like-

• 18:40Speaker 01

  Noel.

• 18:40Speaker 02

  Oh, it's, it's, it's another one in Elf. At the end, the song with the, uh, fuck, what's it called? It's like, not real words.

• 18:51Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 18:52Speaker 02

  She's on the piano, like James Caan's playing the piano and she's singing it. Oh my god, I just watched Elf the other day.

• 18:57Speaker 01

  Oh, fuck, yeah, we just watched it the other day too. Now I can't, I know what you're-

• 19:02Speaker 00

  Pink Pantheress here. Coach and Spotify are teaming up to bring music and style together, and they want you to be part of it. Grab your friends and head to the Tabby Tour, hitting cities around the country with live performances from special artists, exclusive experiences, and personalized products. And discover custom playlists on Spotify, booked just for you based on who you are and how you listen. Live your story with Coach. Learn more at coach.com.

• 19:28Speaker 01

  Like, literally the end credits.

• 19:33Speaker 01

  Oh, that, there's, those are real words. I mean, they're like not, though.

• 19:54Speaker 01

  That was good. Old Lang Syne? See what I'm saying? The shit is words, but it ain't words. Old Lang Syne? It's literally, it's, that's what it's called. It sounds like a board game that's stupid. It sounds like Latin.

• 20:08Speaker 03

  Probably.

• 20:08Speaker 01

  What are the words? What are the actual words? Like pig Latin?

• 20:12Speaker 03

  No.

• 20:12Speaker 01

  Is pig Latin? Inse is the unse.

• 20:20Speaker 01

  Probably.

• 20:22Speaker 03

  Rob Stewart.

• 20:24Speaker 01

  Rod Stewart?

• 20:25Speaker 03

  Rob.

• 20:26Speaker 01

  Oh, Rob Stewart. Oh, I thought you were saying Rod.

• 20:28Speaker 03

  No, no, no, it is Rod.

• 20:30Speaker 01

  Rod Stewart? Maggie May, Rob Stewart? Ma- is, didn't you say his dad said that he had, he was filled with some stuff?

• 20:36Speaker 03

  My dad said that.

• 20:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, your dad, that's what I'm saying.

• 20:38Speaker 03

  He said they pumped a bunch of cc's of jizz out of him.

• 20:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:41Speaker 03

  In a hospital. And I'm like, I'm not even gonna listen to what you're saying.

• 20:46Speaker 01

  I was in the hospital. Also started that with, did you hear about Rod Stewart, Dad? No one has heard about him. At that point, I was in my twenties. No. No, no, no, no. I know two songs.

• 20:58Speaker 01

  Are you gonna tell us the words?

• 21:03Speaker 01

  No, the, it's Old Lang Syne.

• 21:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's, yeah, it's, it's that, and then it goes into like, Old Lang Syne, my dear, Old Lang Syne.

• 21:10Speaker 01

  What the hell is Old Lang Syne mean?

• 21:12Speaker 03

  I believe it's like an, it's a Scottish poem.

• 21:14Speaker 01

  Scottish? Oh, can't, don't fuck with the Scottish. They'll beat the brakes off of us. No one's doing that. Oh, you? I like looked into it, cause I remember hearing that song and being like, wow, I love this song so much for some reason. And then I was like, I wonder what the words are, cause I ca- you know, sometimes you hear a song and you're like, I don't know what that part, like it's, it could be anything. And then I looked it up and I was like, oh, it's what I thought it was, it's just not. It's just not real. I would love to hear like a Scottish Christmas song, or like a Christmas song sang in Scottish. Well, give me, give me one, give me one and I could, cause I know it would be just very loud.

• 21:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, probably Jingle Bells.

• 21:47Speaker 01

  Jingle bells, them fucking bells are jingling. They're doing it, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the fucking way.

• 21:57Speaker 01

  Oh, man. God damn it, I love Christmas. Yeah.

• 22:00Speaker 03

  It means old, like, old times, for old times' sake.

• 22:03Speaker 01

  Stupid. Ah, okay. Alright, so we brought in some ornaments, each of us, to decorate our trees. Yeah. Uh, and we're gonna go, and we're gonna show them, and we're gonna hang them up. And I think in true basement yard fashion, they're probably gonna be a little ridiculous.

• 22:16Speaker 02

  Yeah. Uh, I'll go first?

• 22:19Speaker 01

  Oh! I, the, (laugh) the first one I have, it's a, it's a cheeto, but it's got Danny DeVito's face, and it's a Danny De-Cheeto. That is, that's really orange. It's, and this looks like it was 3D-printed. Does it taste good? Yeah. Not edible. Not edible? That's cool, Danny DeVito, icon. Dude, he's like 80. Fuck off. He's getting up there, dude. Danny DeVito's not 80. I think he is. Oh! I think he's getting up, him, Morgan Freeman, Al Pacino, Robert De Niro. Al Pacino looks 80. He's looked 80 since he was 50, to be fair.

• 22:58Speaker 03

  81.

• 22:58Speaker 01

  Oh?

• 23:01Speaker 01

  Danny DeVito's 81? Yeah. Fuck outta here, bro.

• 23:06Speaker 03

  I tell you what, for someone his size.

• 23:08Speaker 01

  Don't bring that up. What the fuck? You are skidding on thin ice, and you're about to fall into the lake. What is wrong with you?

• 23:16Speaker 03

  It's like how, you know, they say really, really tall people.

• 23:18Speaker 01

  First you attack boobs, now you're attacking Danny DeVito? Yeah.

• 23:21Speaker 03

  I want 200 years out of him.

• 23:23Speaker 01

  Let me tell you something. I love Danny DeVito. You're fucking cruisin' for a bruzen at the end of our alleyway. Okay? Cause we're thugs. We're thugs, okay? Um. That's really cool, though. Wow, that's crazy, 81. You like cheetos? That's more of a cheese doodle, if we're being honest. I know, I don't really fuck with the puffed, I fuck with those. I fuck puffs, too. I don't really like the crunchy ones. I want some hips behind my cheetos. I wanna, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want this thing to, like, pack a punch. Sometimes I like to shove two into my mouth, like I'm at the dentist. And then, yes! I do that, and then I punch my cheek.

• 23:54Speaker 03

  Okay, that one you're doing by yourself?

• 23:56Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, you guys don't do that? Not a shared experience. Really? Yeah.

• 23:59Speaker 03

  I threw up a full cheetos puff once.

• 24:01Speaker 01

  I threw up chee- uh, chee- uh, chee- I threw up. Choo choo choo choo choo. I threw up, uh, cheese doodles in pre-k. All over the floor. Wait, what'd you do? Wow. What, what, what did you do?

• 24:15Speaker 03

  I threw up a full Cheetos puff once.

• 24:17Speaker 01

  I threw them up too. You didn't eat it, you didn't, you didn't chew it?

• 24:19Speaker 03

  I, I have a suspicion that it formed a Cheeto back in my stomach.

• 24:23Speaker 01

  Okay. What an insane. What is insane? So wildly inaccurate, my bro. I have a suspicion that, that, that science and physics. Put it back together. You think, you think your stomach is just cooler than everyone else's stomach? Regular ass stomach. Bro, imagine if you did throw up and came out with the, the full thing. I mean, that, that happens with like, I know people that have like thrown up pills and they've come out full pills still, cause they take a time. That's not what I'm saying at all.

• 24:50Speaker 03

  He's saying like throwing up, like you eat a steak, then it comes back a T-bone.

• 24:53Speaker 01

  Like a steak. That would be kinda cool, actually. A T-bone. Um, alright, Danny De Cheeto, I kinda love that. Yeah. I think that's a nice color pop. Yeah. And it's a good looking De, DeVito. Yeah.

• 25:02Speaker 03

  Alright, I'm gonna start.

• 25:05Speaker 03

  So, it's been a good year in our house.

• 25:08Speaker 01

  Great year, incredible year, but I, I, I have noticed that one of the most regular inclusions in any grocery order that we have is pickles. So that's why I have this, which is a Christmas tree made of pickles. Mmm. It's just such a pickle year, I think pickles are having a resurgence, I brought back Hawaiian shirts, I brought back the word laborious, I do think that I am slowly bringing back pickles for the world. You, okay. What? That's, why is your other hand below the desk? I don't like that. Okay, cause I didn't know if there was something going on. I mean, there's some other stuff going on. I'm sure there is. I got some other stuff. Um. Just into pickles, man. Yeah.

• 25:48Speaker 01

  Bro, we get pickles so much. Like, every order we do, it's stacked with pickles.

• 25:58Speaker 01

  What is stacked with pickles? Costco sized pickle jars. And we get the Grillo's. Where do they go? Into our mouths, brother. No, no, where can it be stored? Into the fridge, my brother. You could fit a giant jar in your fridge? It's like this. Yeah. And it's the Grillo's pickles. Are those, are those full or are they sliced? They're sliced. I do get their half sours though and I've, dude, you know I love pickles, remember at the old studio? Yeah. I'd get pickles all the time. Yeah, I mean, watching you eat a pickle, that is the interesting thing. My days of consuming pickles have changed. My previous days. Okay.

• 26:32Speaker 01

  I used to, I, it used to be a little sexually aggressive, just like that song. Yeah, it was.

• 26:37Speaker 03

  Now, instead of the full pickle at once, you take bites?

• 26:41Speaker 01

  No, he like, he sucks the pickle dry. And I'm, and I know that sounds like I'm trying to make a joke, but it, he literally would like suck the pickle. Until there was no moisture. Yeah, what I would do is I'd turn it into a raisin, which is naturally a pickle raisin. Right. And it, I would bite the top off and I would, I would literally, I can't do this. Suck it off. Yeah, you'd suck it until it's dry. I, I would, I would. You'd suck it rotten. Can you, can you take it back one fucking step? I feel like I'm not being that crazy. I think you're being a little crazy in sucking something rotten. Well, I, I think that's a, that's a nice one. It's good. I like it.

• 27:17Speaker 03

  Do you have ornaments too?

• 27:18Speaker 01

  I do.

• 27:19Speaker 03

  Oh, nice, good.

• 27:19Speaker 01

  A little bag.

• 27:20Speaker 03

  Oh! Um, I don't know if they're all gonna fit on the tree. I got one and I realized how big it was.

• 27:25Speaker 01

  Right.

• 27:25Speaker 03

  So, this is a ornament.

• 27:29Speaker 03

  That.

• 27:29Speaker 01

  Hey, Ant.

• 27:30Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 27:31Speaker 01

  What the hell is that?

• 27:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, so it's a, it's stuck here, give me a second. It's a mermaid reindeer holding a gift that looks kind of similar to...

• 27:40Speaker 01

  Wow, that does kinda look like Joey. What the fuck? Did you make that?

• 27:43Speaker 03

  I did not.

• 27:44Speaker 01

  Yes, you did!

• 27:45Speaker 03

  You wanna come see it? I need to get close to this guy.

• 27:48Speaker 01

  What do you got rattling over there?

• 27:50Speaker 03

  Why am I, why am I...

• 27:51Speaker 01

  Oh, he's stuck. Oh, you're real stuck.

• 27:52Speaker 03

  I'm wrapped up!

• 27:55Speaker 03

  Would you like to see?

• 27:57Speaker 02

  Dude, what the hell?

• 27:58Speaker 03

  I don't, I don't know.

• 27:59Speaker 01

  That is pretty...

• 28:01Speaker 03

  Can you see this?

• 28:01Speaker 02

  Wait, what did you type into Amazon?

• 28:03Speaker 01

  That is uncanny.

• 28:04Speaker 03

  Weird ornaments, and it's a mermaid, it's a Christmas mermaid, wearing a scarf with reindeer.

• 28:09Speaker 01

  You almost knocked over your tree, by the way. You sat down and it was fucking horizontal.

• 28:14Speaker 03

  Oh, there it goes.

• 28:16Speaker 01

  We're fine. The cheetos hanging. The cheeto is good?

• 28:19Speaker 03

  Um, kinda looks like you.

• 28:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, it does. Also, it's the size of your tree.

• 28:22Speaker 03

  That's the problem.

• 28:23Speaker 01

  That is a big, that is a big ornament. What's that made out of? Is it hollow? Brother!

• 28:28Speaker 03

  It's...

• 28:28Speaker 01

  How much was that? It looks like it was forty dollars!

• 28:30Speaker 03

  It was about...

• 28:31Speaker 01

  What?

• 28:32Speaker 03

  About thirty-three dollars.

• 28:33Speaker 01

  How much?

• 28:34Speaker 03

  Thirty-three dollars.

• 28:35Speaker 01

  Dude, that's a lot of money to spend on a joke ornament. We're, we're, we're, also, that was, that's out of your pocket.

• 28:40Speaker 03

  Well, this one looks like... This one looks like you. I feel like it'd be out of...

• 28:44Speaker 01

  This is unbelievable. Oh, wait, we're getting reimbursed for our purchased ornaments?

• 28:49Speaker 03

  Frank, it's a pickle ornament.

• 28:53Speaker 01

  I think it's beautiful.

• 28:54Speaker 03

  That is insane.

• 28:55Speaker 01

  That's big, dude. Oh, of course, he got little tree, big ornament. He's overcompensating for his tree.

• 29:01Speaker 03

  That's the biggest one I have.

• 29:03Speaker 01

  It's huge! It's way too big. It's the biggest one I've ever seen! Needless, yeah, honestly, that is the biggest. Outside of like the stars that go on top, which I didn't bring any, did you? I didn't bring any either.

• 29:12Speaker 03

  I forgot that.

• 29:13Speaker 01

  You would hate the star that we had on top of our tree for years. I already know what it is. What is it? Is it the same one as Espo? Which one is Espo?

• 29:20Speaker 03

  It's like the Super Mario star?

• 29:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was.

• 29:23Speaker 03

  Children.

• 29:23Speaker 01

  Okay, um... We do, let's, before we get to the rest of the ornaments here, uh, we do have, uh, some sponsors for the show. The first one being How You Doin' Zocdoc, okay? So, don't forget that during this holiday season, you also wanna be healthy, be happy. Uh, a lot of people going into the new year also, um, you know, they start doing their new year's resolutions, and they wanna be healthier and whatnot, but you should go to the doctor and get your checkup, your yearly checkup.

• 29:50Speaker 02

  But yeah, so Zocdoc, it's a free app and website where you can search and compare high-quality and network doctors and click instantly to book an appointment. So this is a website that I used when I was off my mother's insurance. You go onto the website, you put in your insurance and the area that you're in, and then you can look up doctors in your area. And it's not just primary care physicians, it's dermatologists or whatever you need. There's specialists there and you can see that they are patient-reviewed. So you find people that have a really good rating, I believe it's out of five, and you say, "Okay, I'll go to that doctor for this thing." And when their next available appointment is, which is usually within 72 hours. Sometimes it's been the next day. A lot of the times, honestly, for me, it's been the next day. So it's a great place to book all your appointments.

• 30:34Speaker 02

  So yeah, like I said, it's a free app and website, so go check it out. Stop putting off those doctors' appointments. Go to zocdoc.com/basement. That is zocdoc.com/basement, spelled Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash basement. So get your checkups, folks. We also have Rocket Money, which is an all-in-one personal finance app that is going to put money back in your pocket by finding and canceling your unwanted subscriptions. You just plug in your information there and it'll have all your stuff. And you can cancel these things that maybe you signed up for accidentally, or you didn't realize that you were paying for something, or you realize, "You know what? I haven't used this in six months. Why am I paying for this? Let me cancel that." It's the holidays.

• 31:19Speaker 02

  Put that money back in your pocket, maybe spend it on a nice Christmas gift or something like that, or keep it for yourself, who knows? There's also a budgeting tool, so it'll help you be more financially responsible and make sure you're not going over your budget. And there's also a tool that they have where you could literally upload a photo of your bill, and if they can help you lower it, they will do that. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com/basement today. And they've saved their users over 2.5 billion, including over 880 million in canceled subscriptions alone. So people out there are making mistakes and doing the stuff, but that's rocketmoney.com/basement to get started right now.

• 32:02Speaker 01

  Alright, love that. Also, what else do you love? If you're saving yourself some money and you wanna give the gift of something, why not give the gift of the Basement Yard? Patreon.com/thebasementyard is the best way to do it. So go to Patreon.com/thebasementyard and you can give the gift of the Basement Yard this holiday season, or gift yourself a little something. We're so tied up with giving other people gifts, we could treat ourselves a little bit. You sign up for that first tier, you get these weekly episodes one week in advance, and then that second tier, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday, which come out. They're just for you. And if you sign up and you've never been a patron again, you can watch every single back-cataloged episode that goes back to when we started doing them, which was, at this point, seems like decades ago. So go check them out. Patreon.com/thebasementyard. And if you wanna sign up and save yourself a couple extra bucks,

• 32:46Speaker 01

  type that into a web browser, okay? Don't use one of those smart apps, because then they're gonna take some extra money from ya. So if you go to the web browser version, Patreon.com/thebasementyard, and you sign up there, you're gonna save yourself some money, you're gonna be one of the growing amounts of patrons that we have here, continuing to break records. Thank you guys so much. And it's well worth it, I think. Don't take my word for it, take this eyewitness testimony. Whoever's editing this, put in an eyewitness testimony. Just put in something, like someone saying it's... Yeah. So there you go. You saw, you heard from that person in particular. So go check it out. Patreon.com/thebasementyard. We love you, and we'll catch you on the flippity-flop.

• 33:23Speaker 02

  Alright. We'll catch you on the flippity-flop.

• 33:25Speaker 01

  Alright, so it's your turn.

• 33:26Speaker 02

  I have to add the ribbon.

• 33:27Speaker 01

  You need to add the ribbon.

• 33:28Speaker 02

  I didn't do this part.

• 33:30Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 33:31Speaker 02

  Um, this one is a heavy hitter here.

• 33:35Speaker 01

  Heavy hitter in what regards?

• 33:37Speaker 02

  This is, uh, Thickeless Cage.

• 33:39Speaker 01

  It's Nicolas Cage on a thick girl's body.

• 33:43Speaker 02

  It's backwards, it's backwards.

• 33:44Speaker 01

  Shit!

• 33:45Speaker 02

  There you go.

• 33:46Speaker 01

  There it is, there's Thickeless Cage.

• 33:47Speaker 02

  Yo.

• 33:48Speaker 01

  Yeah. Oh wait, is that his face from Con Air?

• 33:51Speaker 02

  Um, I hope.

• 33:54Speaker 01

  Um, but yeah, that was a great movie. Dude, you know what's so funny that you say that?

• 33:58Speaker 02

  What?

• 33:58Speaker 01

  You know what is so fucking funny that you have that ornament? You know who texted me in the wee hours of the night last night?

• 34:04Speaker 02

  Nicolas Cage?

• 34:05Speaker 01

  Could you imagine? No. Hank Green.

• 34:09Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, he texted me yesterday.

• 34:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, he goes, "Joe shared your number. Sorry I didn't send you ducks." Here's a duck, and it was Nicolas Cage.

• 34:17Speaker 01

  Not as a duck. And he goes, "Oh fuck, sorry." And it's just another picture of Nicolas Cage, and he's like, "Oh shit."

• 34:26Speaker 01

  And I responded, "That's not a duck, that's a goat." Wow. That's a good one. Dude. Hank Green. Nicholas Cage, so you just have a celebrity-filled, celebrity-filled Christmas tree. So far. That's all he, that's all he wants, that's all he needs. Favorite Nick Cage movie? God, god, um... Damn, you know what? I just watched National Treasure on a plane. It's so good! It's good, man. It is so good. I really liked that movie.

• 34:50Speaker 03

  What's the one with the green, the green balls?

• 34:53Speaker 01

  Oh, that's The Rock.

• 34:55Speaker 03

  Those green balls look sick, dude.

• 34:56Speaker 01

  Is that with, uh, Sean Connery? Sean Connery, yeah, yeah. Michael Bay.

• 35:01Speaker 02

  That's about, what's it called?

• 35:03Speaker 01

  Breaking out of, or breaking into...

• 35:04Speaker 02

  Alcatraz.

• 35:05Speaker 01

  Alcatraz, yeah.

• 35:06Speaker 02

  Let's put, let's put Nicky up here.

• 35:08Speaker 01

  Ooh, you're getting Nick, Thickeless Cage right in the middle? Thicker than a fucking bowl of oatmeal, I'll tell you that.

• 35:15Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 35:16Speaker 01

  That's crazy. I saw someone recently said, "Thicker than zoo glass."

• 35:23Speaker 01

  That's great. That's a good one. Okay. Well, listen.

• 35:28Speaker 01

  I'd be remiss if I didn't bring in something from my childhood. And I had to, and I know I previously brought this up, but this was mine when I was a child. It's a skateboarding dinosaur, and now that I look at it, I have the wrong one. This is my brother's. Where is mine?

• 35:42Speaker 03

  That's not your brother, that's yours?

• 35:43Speaker 01

  It says "Sun 1994" on the, on the, on the back. Oh, fuck, okay. Wait, do you have all of your, your skating dinosaurs? I guess I have, I guess. Or have you just had this one forever? I've had this one and be like, "This is mine," and now that I see it's 94, maybe it's my brother's. It cannot be, or maybe you got it when you were two years old! Or maybe they just got it to me in two years old, yeah. Regardless, he's a skating dinosaur with a backwards cap. Which is so cool. And a pink backpack, which at the time, not ideal. Yeah. You know, but, look, he's hip, he's fly, he's got a bit of childlike wonder, and he's bouncing on his really rad skateboard. That's cute. I think it really captures my joy and happiness.

• 36:28Speaker 01

  Yeah. You don't look like it. I think I can look like it, what?

• 36:34Speaker 01

  You can't. The building's coming down, by the way. The building is on its way down. Yeah, Hagrid just got here. What was that?

• 36:42Speaker 01

  It's just, you know, this is, this is a, a family, an Alvarez family relic. And this will last forever. Nice. And if it ever gets thrown out, I will haunt any of my ancestors that have done that. I'm sure you will. That seems like on par for you. Don't say it like that. What, if people throw stuff out, I, I believe it. Alright.

• 37:02Speaker 03

  I was, I was looking at the, uh, my feed over here. The arms on this thing look great in this lighting.

• 37:07Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 37:08Speaker 03

  Just saying.

• 37:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're horny.

• 37:13Speaker 01

  Alright, what else you got?

• 37:13Speaker 03

  I have one that looks like Joe, so I thought I'd get one that looks like Frankie. I have It, Pennywise.

• 37:18Speaker 01

  Oh, fuck you! Wow. Why do I look like It? What am I looking at? Who am I? I can't even see it. Why is the balloon in front of his face?

• 37:25Speaker 03

  That's a little bit of it.

• 37:25Speaker 01

  Cause that's how he stands, dude. Oh, that's right. Ready to float? Not bad! That was pretty good. Not bad, dude.

• 37:33Speaker 03

  I don't think you look like this.

• 37:34Speaker 01

  I, I figured it was a joke.

• 37:36Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 37:36Speaker 01

  Um, although, Bill Skarsgård?

• 37:40Speaker 01

  Actually, I know what I think about it. He's got big eyes. He's got big eyes. Dude, that whole family. Bill, Alex. Bro, they can see, dude. They can see. They can see, and they can act, let me tell you. Yeah. Like a family of actors. Good for them. Uh, I... Have you seen, you've seen the It movies, right, Joey? Yeah. Um, I only saw the first one. It was, the second one was a little disappointing personally. Well. It's a little crazy, too. They took some stuff out of those books that I'm glad they took out. Do you know about the books? Ant, you know about the books?

• 38:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, they had to take out that.

• 38:11Speaker 01

  Yeah. Uh, so the- I'm not-

• 38:15Speaker 03

  Stephen King's a weird dude.

• 38:15Speaker 01

  Stephen King was clearly on cocaine for several decades. And, uh-

• 38:20Speaker 03

  When the kids get out of the tunnel?

• 38:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, when they get out of the tunnel after they defeat It in the first part of the book.

• 38:25Speaker 03

  They thought that to defeat It, they needed to grow up and not be kids anymore?

• 38:31Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 38:32Speaker 01

  So they all practice having sex with the one female member of the losers' club. He's writing these about-

• 38:39Speaker 02

  Excuse me?

• 38:40Speaker 01

  He's writing this about ten-year-olds.

• 38:41Speaker 03

  I didn't know Frankie was just gonna hammer it there, but-

• 38:44Speaker 01

  I mean, I don't think any way to describe it is any worse than the actual what it is.

• 38:49Speaker 02

  I had no idea that was part of the thing.

• 38:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:51Speaker 03

  It didn't really work.

• 38:52Speaker 01

  It didn't-

• 38:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:53Speaker 01

  I don't think that would've been green. It absolutely did not work.

• 38:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:57Speaker 01

  He ended up coming back.

• 38:59Speaker 02

  Right. Well, I got this one for Ant.

• 39:01Speaker 01

  Oh! Oh, that's just... What is this?

• 39:07Speaker 02

  This one's for you, bud.

• 39:08Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 39:09Speaker 02

  You got one from it. Thank you. Yeah, no, um-

• 39:12Speaker 01

  Is that supposed- is that Mickey?

• 39:14Speaker 02

  It is.

• 39:14Speaker 01

  It was.

• 39:15Speaker 02

  I'll be honest with you. I got this as a joke and I'm looking at it and I don't like it.

• 39:19Speaker 01

  Now you feel bad about it?

• 39:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, I do.

• 39:21Speaker 01

  You- I'm not- you have a full-on-

• 39:24Speaker 02

  What's with this? What's that?

• 39:27Speaker 01

  That's like on the things, like they have like little red things on them to like snap it.

• 39:33Speaker 02

  Oh, that's the crank?

• 39:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm sure it's just like a design thing.

• 39:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't like this anymore.

• 39:38Speaker 01

  It's kinda mean.

• 39:40Speaker 03

  Well, it has to go on your tree now.

• 39:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, now you have to put it up there.

• 39:43Speaker 03

  You have to put it up-

• 39:44Speaker 01

  Now you have to declare that you are a murdering psychopath.

• 39:48Speaker 03

  Put it in the back of the tree.

• 39:50Speaker 02

  Well, she fell.

• 39:51Speaker 01

  Is it like a good quali- that looks like a good quality ornament, too.

• 39:53Speaker 03

  Is it heavy?

• 39:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's kinda heavy. Alright, what do you got?

• 39:57Speaker 01

  Okay. Well, I also went the route. This one, uh, it's got some bells on it. So it's festive. Okay. Uh, and it says, "Go ahead, jingle my bells."

• 40:09Speaker 02

  Frank, is that- am I looking at a ass?

• 40:13Speaker 03

  I think those are balls, brother.

• 40:14Speaker 02

  What am I looking at? But what am I looking at?

• 40:17Speaker 01

  Uh, it's- yes, that's an ass and underneath those are supposed to be the bells.

• 40:24Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 40:26Speaker 01

  I just think like, you know, it's playful, it's fun, it's happy.

• 40:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:32Speaker 01

  It's like, it's like a, go ahead. Like, this is what I expect to see on the back of like a Ford F-150 during Christmas time.

• 40:38Speaker 02

  And now it's on your tree.

• 40:39Speaker 01

  And also a Punisher logo.

• 40:41Speaker 02

  Right.

• 40:41Speaker 01

  That's clearly taken out of context because people don't understand that the Punisher actually didn't like corrupt people.

• 40:47Speaker 02

  Alright.

• 40:47Speaker 01

  Uh, but yeah, go ahead. It's, it's, it's wood.

• 40:52Speaker 02

  Oh, thank god.

• 40:53Speaker 01

  I can't put this up on my tree at home.

• 40:56Speaker 02

  That's for sure. There will be questions.

• 40:58Speaker 01

  There will be questions. I just thought it was a cute little way to say like, "Hey, you don't like me? Fuck you."

• 41:06Speaker 02

  Right. This is the appropriate setting for that.

• 41:08Speaker 01

  I would think so, yeah.

• 41:10Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, I killed Disney.

• 41:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, you have a full-on murder scene on yours.

• 41:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:15Speaker 01

  And Ant has, what I can only imagine is the, how he goons over you as a merman.

• 41:21Speaker 02

  Oh, it's sex.

• 41:22Speaker 01

  What are we doing?

• 41:24Speaker 02

  I brought it in. Well, if he's going balls.

• 41:27Speaker 01

  You're going?

• 41:28Speaker 02

  Gingerbread. I told you I had it.

• 41:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's an interesting one.

• 41:31Speaker 02

  This is what I'm doing.

• 41:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:34Speaker 02

  How do you, YouTube it, it's alright. It's a gingerbread.

• 41:36Speaker 01

  Say again?

• 41:37Speaker 02

  YouTube, it's a gingerbread.

• 41:38Speaker 01

  Oh, they probably, I mean, yeah, I hope not.

• 41:39Speaker 02

  They don't know what this is.

• 41:40Speaker 01

  I mean, we got balls and now dogs. Yeah, I don't think anthropomorphic characters, like animated characters, are gonna get us into a ton of trouble, right?

• 41:49Speaker 02

  You couldn't say animated? You didn't want to say that? What was the reasoning behind anthropomorphic?

• 41:56Speaker 01

  That's not even, I don't think anthropomorphic.

• 41:58Speaker 02

  I don't even know what it means.

• 41:59Speaker 01

  Um.

• 41:59Speaker 02

  This is pretty prominent.

• 42:01Speaker 01

  Yeah. Who's, who's, and, and for some reason, the balls keep turning toward me, and I don't like that. So, we're just gonna put them, the, the, the balls yearn for you, baby.

• 42:12Speaker 02

  Alright.

• 42:12Speaker 01

  The balls just, they're attracted to me, I guess.

• 42:14Speaker 02

  Alright, what else do I got in my bag of trees?

• 42:16Speaker 01

  Whose is worse? Ant's full-on sexual intercourse happening on his tree, or mine, which is just like a little haha innuendo?

• 42:25Speaker 02

  I mean, we don't know. Um, I got-

• 42:28Speaker 01

  Maybe answer the mic?

• 42:30Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 42:32Speaker 02

  So, this one, very easy, obviously. It's very base mirror.

• 42:34Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 42:35Speaker 02

  It's the weener mobile.

• 42:36Speaker 01

  Oh, I love it!

• 42:38Speaker 02

  Yeah!

• 42:39Speaker 01

  That's a good one. Dude. Put a ween on there! Dude. Get your ween out! Come on.

• 42:46Speaker 01

  Joey's got a weener on his tree, I got balls on mine, and Ant has where both of them go.

• 42:51Speaker 01

  The sex one.

• 42:52Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 42:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:53Speaker 03

  I was like, don't talk about that.

• 42:59Speaker 01

  I didn't even think of that. Dude, when's the last time you had a hot dog?

• 43:05Speaker 03

  It's been a minute.

• 43:06Speaker 01

  I mean, obviously, it's December. Oh, yeah, obvious. Okay, so I'm gonna ask. Last week. Oh, yeah. Do you count sausage?

• 43:16Speaker 03

  No.

• 43:17Speaker 01

  Right.

• 43:19Speaker 01

  Unless they're called Italian hot dogs.

• 43:21Speaker 03

  No.

• 43:22Speaker 01

  No? You don't, you don't, you don't, you don't buy that?

• 43:24Speaker 03

  What was the occasion?

• 43:25Speaker 01

  Uh, Sunday.

• 43:27Speaker 03

  Got it.

• 43:28Speaker 02

  It was the Lord's Day.

• 43:29Speaker 01

  It was the Lord's Day, and daddy needed a dog. Let me tell ya.

• 43:34Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 43:34Speaker 01

  What are you, what are you finagling over there?

• 43:36Speaker 03

  I have to put in another ribbon for my next one.

• 43:39Speaker 01

  Oscar, Oscar Mayer, those are good dogs. Oscar Mayer, Nathans. Some good dogs.

• 43:45Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm. The only ornament I bought was the Joe as a mermaid. The rest are all, these all go on my tree.

• 43:52Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, that's insane.

• 43:53Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 43:54Speaker 01

  You put that actual one on your tree, that's insane.

• 43:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, but when, sometimes it's in the back of the tree.

• 43:58Speaker 01

  Got it. Okay, well, my next one might be a little infuriating for some people, but

• 44:07Speaker 01

  why do we confine to the, the limits, the limits that big Christmas puts on what is and what isn't an ornament? Nay, I say an ornament should be something that you want to proudly figure, uh, uh, excuse me, proudly and prominently feature on your tree. So, yes, these are all technically ornaments, sure. But an ornament that I have that will be going on my tree is Jeff Hardy. Okay? Now, yeah, sure, he doesn't have traditional ornament build. But, it's, it's, a tree should be representative of its owner. And, I am, I, if I am nothing, I am a wrestling fan.

• 44:50Speaker 01

  So Jeff Hardy is gonna be going to Swanton Bomb off the top of my tree. Frank, I know you think this is gonna piss me off, but I love it. Really? It's Jeff Hardy. I didn't think you were gonna like it. I thought you would for sure be pissed off and be like, "That's not an ornament." No, I love Jeff Hardy. Is the top of the tree in the shot? I mean, he's gotta be on the top, he's on the top rope.

• 45:11Speaker 03

  It definitely won't be in the shot, but...

• 45:12Speaker 01

  Alright, so then I'll put him where he's ready to do Swanton.

• 45:17Speaker 01

  So Jeff Hardy, man. That's a great. I mean, that, that, that's a WWE legend. Yup. You know, king of the Swanton. Right. And fishnets. Yeah. And humping the air very aggressively. Also was the reason why I bought a necklace once and it cut me, so I had to take that off. The Hardy logo necklace? The sharpest thing I've ever had in my life. My brother wore it playing basketball and it went through a kid's finger. See, yeah, it was fucking dangerous. Did you ever see, you were not a big wrestling fan back in the day, right? Hmm, not really. Did you ever see the Hardy Boys logo? Probably in passing. Dude, look it- But it's like, it's fucked and it's sharp. Dude, look it up and you're gonna see, like, this was on kids' necklaces and this was like diecasted metal, so it was like... It was hard.

• 46:02Speaker 01

  It was not- It was like that. Dude. But the, but the edges of it were so sharp, dude, and it like cut me once and my mom made me take it off. I was so upset. Those things were, not that one, that wasn't the one we had. It was just silver and it was like a beaded lo- I mean, we don't need to fucking pull it up, but it was like beaded. Yeah, dude, it was, it was not- It definitely looked sharp. It is. It's not that one, but- It's like that purple one right there. Just type in the necklace, just type in necklace.

• 46:28Speaker 03

  Gotcha.

• 46:29Speaker 01

  It was, it was, it definitely had some edges to it.

• 46:33Speaker 03

  Necklace.

• 46:37Speaker 01

  There you go. The first one. Very first one, yeah. Yeah, that thing was sharp as fuck. Dude, it looks pretty rounded in this photo. In this photo, it's not doing a justice. But it killed me. It's not doing a justice.

• 46:47Speaker 03

  This one looks sharp, this, this one.

• 46:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, it wasn't that one. And no, well, that has a beaded necklace too. Yeah. It could have been that. Well, regardless, this thing almost killed me. But I think my tree wouldn't be who I am and who I feel I am if it didn't have some wrestling on it. Frank, you're not Jeff Hardy. Oh. I'm closer to Jeff Hardy than you are. That's ridiculous. How is that ridiculous? You think you're closer to being Jeff Hardy than me? Who do you think has done more whispers in the wind, you or me? Me! I have Swanton, all I do is Swanton bop. You've done a 101 at Swanton, but I would do a lot of poetry in motions with my brothers. I ju- that's a, that's a Matt Hardy thing. That's me, dude. You don't know who Jeff Hardy is? Don't look at his mugshot. You don't know Jeff Hardy?

• 47:33Speaker 03

  No, I didn't say that, I was just trying to compare.

• 47:34Speaker 01

  Oh, I was about to freak out. I mean, if we're going based off looks, sure, it's Joey, Twinkie Boy.

• 47:41Speaker 01

  But if we're going based off of just general vibe and I'm more of a like a he kinda looks like a like a

• 47:50Speaker 01

  What's that shit called? A vampire. He could be if Jeff Hardy was a vampire, I would not be astonished.

• 47:55Speaker 03

  No, he wouldn't be able to wear this cross here.

• 47:57Speaker 01

  Yeah. That's true, it would hurt him. Also-

• 48:00Speaker 03

  It would hurt him.

• 48:01Speaker 01

  Of the two of us, you are way more likely to wear fishnets than I am. I'll give you that. I will give you that. Alright, what do you got?

• 48:10Speaker 03

  I have a resin Twisted Tea bottle cap ornament.

• 48:14Speaker 01

  Well, obviously.

• 48:15Speaker 03

  I talked about this as well, I believe. I brought this in, just, you know, just some proof here.

• 48:18Speaker 01

  That's nice. Maybe put that one over the sec- Did you make that? Did you drink the teas yourself?

• 48:22Speaker 03

  No, I bought this.

• 48:23Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 48:24Speaker 03

  On Etsy, yep.

• 48:25Speaker 01

  You could have made that. You guys are pretty handy around your house.

• 48:27Speaker 03

  I don't know how to do a resins thing.

• 48:29Speaker 01

  Yeah. Have you ever made, have, did you guys have the beer, the beer wall? Like the wall that was just like the cut out boxes?

• 48:35Speaker 03

  I wasn't in a frat. Like it's more frat-y housey.

• 48:38Speaker 01

  Bro, your life is fracked. What are you talking about?

• 48:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I gotta live. I can't just, I can't-

• 48:42Speaker 01

  They didn't give him the letters, but they gave him everything else.

• 48:45Speaker 02

  I walked into Ann's house one time and there was a contraption that like you pour a giant bottle of fucking Jameson.

• 48:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, I see that. Like the, like the wheelchair for it, right?

• 48:56Speaker 02

  It's not a wheelchair, but like, it's like, like a hand truck.

• 48:59Speaker 01

  Like what? Yeah. Yes, I hear what you're saying. I was gonna say something that probably would have upset people, but yeah.

• 49:04Speaker 03

  Well.

• 49:06Speaker 01

  That's nice. Wait, you, so you bought that?

• 49:09Speaker 03

  I bought this, yes.

• 49:10Speaker 01

  I'm gonna ask.

• 49:10Speaker 03

  Well, I, well, this was, I bought this like four years ago.

• 49:13Speaker 01

  I'm gonna ask.

• 49:13Speaker 02

  Nice.

• 49:16Speaker 03

  I think it was like thirty something.

• 49:18Speaker 00

  Pink Pantheress here. Coach and Spotify are teaming up to bring music and style together, and they want you to be part of it. Grab your friends and head to the Tabby Tour, hitting cities around the country with live performances from special artists, exclusive experiences, and personalized products. And discover custom playlists on Spotify, booked just for you based on who you are and how you listen. Live your story with Coach. Learn more at coach.com.

• 49:45Speaker 03

  Bucks.

• 49:46Speaker 01

  Yo.

• 49:47Speaker 02

  Bro, the budget you have for-

• 49:49Speaker 01

  That is crazy.

• 49:51Speaker 03

  Might have been eighteen.

• 49:52Speaker 01

  You could have made that for-

• 49:53Speaker 02

  How could might have been eighteen? It's such an in, uh, exact number.

• 49:57Speaker 03

  How does back-loading expenses work?

• 50:00Speaker 02

  It doesn't!

• 50:01Speaker 01

  What does that mean?

• 50:02Speaker 02

  He's gonna charge me for this.

• 50:04Speaker 01

  Oh, it does work. Yes, you can. You can do it, yeah.

• 50:06Speaker 03

  Thank you, Frankie.

• 50:09Speaker 01

  Comes out of somewhere.

• 50:11Speaker 02

  She was like, "Try it."

• 50:12Speaker 01

  Um.

• 50:13Speaker 02

  I'll move the sex thing.

• 50:14Speaker 01

  Okay. No, leave the sex one up. This one, because your tree tells, I'm sorry, I don't mean to cut you off, your tree tells a story. So what it is, is someone saw a mermaid and was so horned up, they drank a bunch of twisted teas and had sex.

• 50:28Speaker 02

  We could tell a better story than that. Uh, alright, my next one, I have just a cute raccoon covered in Christmas lights, because they're cute, and he's doing the rock on.

• 50:39Speaker 01

  Oh, that sucks.

• 50:41Speaker 02

  No, it doesn't.

• 50:42Speaker 01

  I hate raccoons.

• 50:43Speaker 02

  Don't be a bastard.

• 50:44Speaker 01

  I'm not being a bastard, but if I had a gun, I'd shoot your tree.

• 50:49Speaker 02

  You hate animals.

• 50:50Speaker 01

  I don't hate animals. Oh, I love animals.

• 50:52Speaker 02

  You're a little serial killer-y when it comes to animals.

• 50:55Speaker 01

  First of all, the only serial that I'm killing is Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Second of all...

• 51:00Speaker 02

  Let's call up the joke fucking master and tell him his jokes fucking getting, just someone's down here telling jokes.

• 51:10Speaker 02

  Get the fuck out of here.

• 51:17Speaker 01

  I thought that was quick and witty. I thought it was perfect. I don't hate animals. I hate raccoons because they're little fucking mongers.

• 51:28Speaker 02

  Mongers?

• 51:28Speaker 01

  I just don't like that they're so chaotic and stupid and ugly.

• 51:33Speaker 02

  Frank, this is objectively adorable.

• 51:35Speaker 01

  I did see something that you're gonna be pumped about. There's research to suggest that raccoons are becoming like slowly more domesticated, which means we can have them as pets soon.

• 51:45Speaker 02

  Talk that talk, because I'll get one in here. You think I won't get one?

• 51:48Speaker 01

  I'm letting you know, if you get a raccoon in here, I'm putting it in the trash can.

• 51:52Speaker 02

  And it'll be chilling.

• 51:53Speaker 01

  I will lock the trash can and then put it on the stove top.

• 51:57Speaker 02

  And this is where we're getting to serial killer. You're a serial killer.

• 52:01Speaker 01

  The only serial that I've killed is Apple Jacks.

• 52:07Speaker 01

  That's a great one. That one, that, I mean, it is cute. Hey, he's a little cute guy, covered in lights. But if you saw that in real life, that exact, real thing. If you can guarantee that a raccoon doesn't have rabies, I'm hugging it. Get the hell out of here. They're just a little, it's a little, it's literally a little rat. So are you. How you like that? You're not allowed to call Hispanic people rats, Joey. That's what your fucking, your parole officer told you.

• 52:34Speaker 01

  No more. What do you got over there? Alright, listen, I'm sticking with family heirlooms, okay? I like this tree to be representative of me, where I've come from. You've said this every round. And where I am going. And nothing helps me keep a humble, a, a, a, a, happy, and optimistic, playful approach to life than remembering my first love on this planet. And my first love on this planet was Barney the Dinosaur. Wow. Now Barney the Dinosaur was not only one of my first loves, but he's ice skating. That's fire. And Barney the Dinosaur, I loved him so much. Did you? Oh my god, I was a big Barney guy as a kid. Really? Big. But now that he's being festive and skating. Yeah.

• 53:18Speaker 01

  Makes me love him more. And this, when I see this, it reminds me of... Being a child. Being a child, humble beginnings. Life.

• 53:29Speaker 01

  Joy. You know, you don't need materialistic goods in order to, to, to, to find happiness. True. You could just go back to the days of Barney the Purple Dinosaur. Right. Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination. Is that the song? And what's more beautiful than that? It's good. So that's why I put Barney on my tree. That's a good one, I like that a lot. You better.

• 53:54Speaker 01

  I can't even be nice without being yelled at, it's insane.

• 53:56Speaker 03

  That one's cute.

• 53:57Speaker 01

  I like that one. What do you got?

• 53:58Speaker 03

  Those balls are staring right at me. Um, I have a little Mario Kart.

• 54:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:04Speaker 03

  One, and he's waving the checkered flag, assuming that he's one, I believe.

• 54:08Speaker 01

  Hey! I have a couple Mario Kart ones at home, too.

• 54:12Speaker 03

  This one was sent to me, it was very nice.

• 54:14Speaker 01

  Oh, oh, wait. Sent to you? What Mario, is it Mario?

• 54:17Speaker 03

  It's Mario.

• 54:18Speaker 01

  What kart is he on?

• 54:19Speaker 03

  Pipe frame.

• 54:20Speaker 01

  Pipe frame kart, standard.

• 54:21Speaker 03

  Standard.

• 54:22Speaker 01

  Standard pipe frame kart?

• 54:22Speaker 03

  Yep, yep.

• 54:25Speaker 01

  Not a lot of weight to that. Good drifting. Good drifting, but not a lot of weight, not a lot of acceleration. You need some, you need some more, you know, we know who the meta is.

• 54:36Speaker 01

  Berto. Well, no, you want to go with a heavier character. From what I believe, last time I brought in Mario Kart and we played, I think Joe beat you Frankie. Uh, I think he did. I guarantee though, if we were to play again, I would, I would smoke him.

• 54:51Speaker 01

  I am putting up, I would put up a, a substantial bet. Well, the reason why I won was because of, uh, there was like. You had the cheating RCs on. Yeah, he had the cheating RCs on. Wait, what? The, like RC tail that you can't fall off the mat.

• 55:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, I did. Which I didn't know. I didn't, I don't even know what that is, but. What the fuck is that? Like you could. You can't fall off. So you can't fall off. So you're telling me.

• 55:15Speaker 01

  I think he had it as well though. Am I bugging? I don't know, but we definitely didn't tell him you had it. And it was funny you were watching.

• 55:19Speaker 01

  I remember you being like, oh, you got the RC tail. I was like, what is that? So you're judging his victory over me based off of him cheating? I wasn't cheating. I didn't turn it on. If I can quote Joey from 2020, stop the steal. Let's play again.

• 55:37Speaker 01

  And I will absolutely beat him. Whoop his ass. Stop the steal. Absolutely. Recount the votes. The stars. Oh, that, that is a good one. Do you have any, do either of you guys have any that like make sounds or like lights or anything on your tree? Um, like in real life or today? In real life. Uh, no to both. I don't know why I even asked that. I don't know. Um, that one that I actually, uh, told you about where it's like the crib or whatever, there is a button on the bottom, but I feel like it, it broke like years ago, but it used to like sing a song. They used to have ones that you could plug into the lights. Like I remember my mom. That was, that was like that. Yeah, my mom used to have one of those. What about you? Do you have any that make sounds or lights? No. No. You?

• 56:19Speaker 01

  Yes, I do. I have a couple of video game ones. Like I have a, a Donkey Kong cabinet that you press the button and it does the song. And then I have a Super Nintendo that does Super Mario World. Nice. It is very cool.

• 56:32Speaker 02

  Super excited. Well, before we go a little further here, we do have some more sponsors. The first one being Skims, okay? Skims is a lovely company that is making underwear for the boys and for the girls. They've got stuff for girls as well, but I have a lot of Skims underwear. They sent us a couple of pairs to try out and they are honestly like my favorite underwear. They're very comfortable, they're very breathable, they don't like hold in a bunch of moisture or anything like that, so you take it off you're like, "What's going on here?" But they are extremely breathable, they're amazing, they're not too tight, but they also like are tight enough to, you know, keep everything where it should be. But they have lovely stuff for this upcoming holiday. I think this is a great gift.

• 57:15Speaker 02

  I actually bought my friend, last year, my secret Santa, I got some Skims underwear for him, so this is also a great gift to get for the holidays. So you could shop Skims men's at skims.com, let them know that we sent you. After you place your order, select Podcast in the survey and select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. And if you're looking for the perfect gift this season, the Skims Holiday Shop is now open for business, okay? So go to skims.com and yeah, let them know that we sent you and get yourself something maybe, or you know, and get your little fellow something as well. And lastly, we have Squarespace. Squarespace is going to be the platform where you're going to build your website and they're going to kind of handle everything from there, honestly.

• 57:54Speaker 02

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• 58:35Speaker 02

  So that is Squarespace.com/basement and you will save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain, alright? So get to it and then send me your website, I want to see it. Alright, how many do you guys have left?

• 58:47Speaker 01

  I have...

• 58:48Speaker 02

  I have... Dush. I have one. Alright, so how about I go and then we'll come back around?

• 58:55Speaker 03

  We can snake draft.

• 58:58Speaker 03

  Nope.

• 58:58Speaker 01

  Do you have two left or just one?

• 59:00Speaker 03

  I have two.

• 59:00Speaker 01

  Oh, okay. So then, why don't, yeah, why don't you, you, you, me, you, me, you?

• 59:06Speaker 03

  Me do that.

• 59:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:07Speaker 03

  So, uh, my, another one I have is the green frog wearing glasses from the Rainforest Cafe.

• 59:14Speaker 01

  This dude loves the Rainforest. This tree is so you, dude. This is so you. That's a good.

• 59:18Speaker 03

  And there's a big Joe in here.

• 59:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's, that's, that's not you. It is, it is by ratio kind of more Joe than him.

• 59:24Speaker 03

  It's true. I'm trying to catch up to how much Joe this tree is.

• 59:27Speaker 01

  You should put it over his face.

• 59:30Speaker 03

  No. It's too big.

• 59:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:33Speaker 03

  Put it up here.

• 59:33Speaker 01

  Dude, can I ask you, where did this obsession with the Rainforest Cafe come from? How did that start?

• 59:39Speaker 03

  Hmm, it's a good question. Probably circa 2004.

• 59:43Speaker 01

  Circa is crazy, dude. Just tell us.

• 59:45Speaker 01

  I appreciate that. Circa.

• 59:47Speaker 03

  Uh, the Animal Kingdom and Disney, we would always eat at the Rainforest Cafe.

• 59:51Speaker 01

  There's a Rainforest Cafe there?

• 59:52Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 59:52Speaker 01

  Guess that makes a ton of sense. Is or was?

• 59:54Speaker 03

  Still there. We go all the time. Not all the time.

• 59:57Speaker 01

  Is there food?

• 59:59Speaker 03

  It's good enough.

• 1:00:01Speaker 01

  What does that mean?

• 1:00:01Speaker 03

  The atmosphere is fun. You're in the Rainforest.

• 1:00:03Speaker 01

  The atmosphere is what you go for. The animatronic rubber. Would you ever go to like an actual rainforest? Does that?

• 1:00:08Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:00:09Speaker 01

  No way. You just like the cafe?

• 1:00:10Speaker 03

  I got my fill at the cafe.

• 1:00:12Speaker 01

  Right. Dude, rainforests are terrifying.

• 1:00:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're very scary.

• 1:00:15Speaker 01

  I would, I'd, that would not be fun to go to. Do you like nature?

• 1:00:19Speaker 03

  Nope.

• 1:00:20Speaker 01

  So what about it is appealing? You love fake?

• 1:00:22Speaker 03

  That it's, that it's nature adjacent.

• 1:00:26Speaker 01

  It is by definition, absolutely not.

• 1:00:29Speaker 03

  I also love an outdoor indoor. Love an outdoor indoor.

• 1:00:31Speaker 01

  What does that mean?

• 1:00:32Speaker 03

  An indoor that looks like outdoor.

• 1:00:34Speaker 01

  Oh, like a tree inside a restaurant?

• 1:00:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, an indoor-outdoor.

• 1:00:36Speaker 01

  Dude, you would have loved, I built a restaurant with my dad once that was based off of a garbage dump. You would have loved it. It, Basurello? Yeah.

• 1:00:45Speaker 03

  Built a restaurant?

• 1:00:46Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well, my dad used to do that shit all the time. Now he can't because his knees look like SpaghettiOs. His dad worked construction.

• 1:00:52Speaker 03

  Got it.

• 1:00:53Speaker 01

  But it's making it seem like him and his dad hammer nailed this restaurant together, which didn't happen. No, that is exactly what happened. You and your dad? Yes. I know there was more people involved. Of course there were more people, but like, we did most of it. Well, I'm sa- I think there's a construction company. No, my dad like, was like, it was a not big crew because my dad was doing it on the side, like. Basurello. Basurello. It's in, is it still there? Still there, yeah. Is it still there? It's on Steinway. If anyone lives in Astoria, or visits Astoria. Steinway and Broadway, right? That's the corner right there?

• 1:01:23Speaker 02

  Have you been there? I've never been in there.

• 1:01:24Speaker 01

  Oh, I've eaten there several times. It's good.

• 1:01:26Speaker 02

  Yeah?

• 1:01:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's good Colombian food. Go and touch the walls. My dad and I built that. Chances are if you touch the walls-

• 1:01:33Speaker 02

  Go and touch the walls.

• 1:01:34Speaker 01

  You're touching 2005 Frank's hands. And they were huge, dude.

• 1:01:38Speaker 02

  All the biggest hands.

• 1:01:39Speaker 01

  Big hands, dude, just big-

• 1:01:41Speaker 02

  Fat hands, yeah.

• 1:01:42Speaker 01

  Non-dainty-

• 1:01:44Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:01:44Speaker 01

  Really, really meaty hands.

• 1:01:46Speaker 02

  Alright, what do you got?

• 1:01:47Speaker 01

  I got, I think you're gonna like this one. I have a love for Christmas, I also have a love for Star Wars. That's why I got Santa-

• 1:01:56Speaker 02

  Oh!

• 1:01:56Speaker 01

  -stuck in the carbonite. And that's pretty cool, it's like from, from, uh, Return of the Jedi- And the Vampire Strikes Back, you see, you know what happens.

• 1:02:05Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 1:02:06Speaker 01

  You know, Han Solo, and she, "I love you!"

• 1:02:08Speaker 02

  I know. I used to love watching his face, like, when, when it, it's like, uh, melting or whatever.

• 1:02:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:14Speaker 02

  I was like, "Oh, that's so cool."

• 1:02:16Speaker 01

  I love when Princess Leia would like, get dressed up in like, in Return of the Jedi. And she'd be like-

• 1:02:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, some shit.

• 1:02:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't remember exactly how she sounded, but you know what I'm saying.

• 1:02:28Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:02:28Speaker 01

  So, it's, it's him, if you guys don't know Star Wars, um-

• 1:02:32Speaker 02

  Get to it.

• 1:02:33Speaker 01

  Okay, let me tell ya-

• 1:02:34Speaker 02

  Go watch the original trilogy.

• 1:02:35Speaker 01

  Let me tell ya, don't listen to like, Fox News talk about it, just watch it for yourself.

• 1:02:39Speaker 02

  I really feel like people who go back and watch stuff like Star Wars, but like, "I'm gonna watch it in the actual order." I'm like, "That sucks."

• 1:02:45Speaker 01

  So, that's a real, like, topic of, like, contention that I recently went through, because Miles and I started watching it last year.

• 1:02:52Speaker 02

  Star Wars?

• 1:02:53Speaker 01

  Yeah. What, if you were to show your child-

• 1:02:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:02:57Speaker 01

  Little walrus-

• 1:02:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:02:59Speaker 01

  Wants to watch Star Wars. Daddy, show me Star Wars. What is the, what is the order at which you're showing them?

• 1:03:04Speaker 02

  The order in which they came out.

• 1:03:06Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:03:06Speaker 02

  I think there is a magic to, like, "Oh, this is, this is a prequel." Like, that adds something. You know? Like, there's like, callbacks there, but you don't get any of that, um, if you just watch it, like, you're gonna start at like, what, the Attack of the Clones? Movie sucks, by the way. Phantom Menace is the first one, canonically, actually, Rogue One.

• 1:03:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, but like, you would start with Rogue One, that's bananas. Sorry, Rogue One is not canonically, I'm so sorry. I mean, yeah, it can't be. It can't be. But like, whatever it is, it's like, that would be so stupid to do. So what a lot of people do, and I was thinking this might be the way that I, so we started with One, and then we went to Two, and then we went to Three. What is One? Phantom Menace. You did do this. So we did that. However, I think in revisiting them, I've thought more about it, we'll do, what people do is Four, Five... I don't know the numbers. Four is New Hope, Five is Empire Strikes Back, and then they do One, Two, Three, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine.

• 1:04:06Speaker 01

  I would just watch them, and what's the point of doing that? Because, I mean, if you watch One, Two, and Three, it spoils a big part of, a big reveal. Wait, so you make all of the original ones prequels? No, so you watch Four, and then Five, and then you go back and watch Phantom Menace. Four and Five are One and Two.

• 1:04:25Speaker 03

  You gotta give titles.

• 1:04:26Speaker 01

  Alright, New Hope? Yeah, but New Hope is One. Is Episode Four. Oh, shit. No, it's Episode Four. It's the first one that came out. This is what I'm saying.

• 1:04:33Speaker 03

  What's the one that came out with Rey?

• 1:04:35Speaker 01

  Seven, Eight, Nine. Got it. Uh, Force Awakens, New, uh, uh, Force Awakens, Last Jedi, and, uh, Last Sky, or Skywalker? Who cares? Not good. I don't care. But, I think it kind of ruins one of the big reveals if you watch One, if you do Four, Five, Six, like, it resonates better, and then, I don't know. I don't think it ruins anything. I mean, they, they put it out that way, so everyone knew going in. I mean, they didn't put it out that way with the hindsight, like, they did it and they were just like, "Let's make prequels now." Yeah. I can't grab the ornament. I just, I like, I don't know, I just, I don't know. Okay, alright, well, that's my, that's my... I feel like that story is too... All over the place. It's gotten a little out of hand.

• 1:05:20Speaker 01

  Um, do I go? Yeah. Yeah, I go. You got your last one. Yeah, my last one, and, you know, I don't know.

• 1:05:29Speaker 01

  It's Nicolas Cage again. What's going on? It's just a flat Nicolas Cage. Why, what is going, why do you have several Nicolas Cage ornaments? You know, I, as I'm staring at it, this is actually freaking me out. I don't know why. I don't even, I'm not even a huge Nicolas Cage fan per se. I think if you, if you, if you like the bird, you like the cage, you know what I'm saying? Nope.

• 1:05:56Speaker 01

  So, how and why Nicolas Cage?

• 1:06:01Speaker 02

  Um, I just think it's funny.

• 1:06:02Speaker 01

  It reminds me of the Nickelodeon, remember Face?

• 1:06:04Speaker 02

  Didn't you have that Nicolas Cage pillow back in the day?

• 1:06:08Speaker 01

  That was a gift.

• 1:06:09Speaker 02

  I did have it. What the fuck is hap-

• 1:06:10Speaker 01

  What is going on with you?

• 1:06:11Speaker 02

  Who gave me that?

• 1:06:12Speaker 01

  Do you have like a spiritual connection to Nicolas Cage?

• 1:06:15Speaker 02

  I don't. I think Joey Gatto got that for me.

• 1:06:17Speaker 01

  Dude.

• 1:06:18Speaker 02

  It was like sequins and you, it would look like whatever, then you would go like this and then it was Nicolas Cage.

• 1:06:22Speaker 01

  What if, hear me out, we can make this happen, we just did MSG.

• 1:06:29Speaker 01

  What if we got Nicolas Cage on an episode? And he just sits down with us and we give him things to read and his best Nicolas Cage.

• 1:06:36Speaker 02

  You mean just his voice?

• 1:06:38Speaker 01

  Like, but like he has to give it the full go, you know what I mean?

• 1:06:41Speaker 02

  I'd rather have Mikey Boobs up here singing show tunes.

• 1:06:43Speaker 01

  What if we got Boobs singing to Nicolas Cage and Nicolas Cage is just acting out?

• 1:06:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean you haven't thought about it.

• 1:06:51Speaker 01

  I haven't, I just, well you understand, it's in its early infancy. It's in its early infancy. I'm working it out, I'm working it out, in real time here, baby.

• 1:06:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:59Speaker 01

  Alright.

• 1:06:59Speaker 02

  It's not, it's not, you said, it's not in Practical Jokers. Joe Gatto?

• 1:07:04Speaker 01

  No, no, no, my friend.

• 1:07:06Speaker 02

  Oh, Joey Gatto.

• 1:07:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:07Speaker 02

  Got it.

• 1:07:08Speaker 01

  I, I had that at first too, to be honest, but Joey Gatto's-

• 1:07:11Speaker 02

  Cause you know, I don't know who he knows, he knows everybody.

• 1:07:13Speaker 01

  No, he does, he's big, he's big, he's, he's breaking out. You saw, he was in like a fashion magazine?

• 1:07:19Speaker 02

  What? Him?

• 1:07:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, they were gooning over him.

• 1:07:22Speaker 02

  You're really pushing the goonin'.

• 1:07:24Speaker 01

  No, there was like a fashion thing where it was just like, "Look, look at Joe Santagato."

• 1:07:29Speaker 01

  I wasn't in it, by the way.

• 1:07:32Speaker 02

  No gooning.

• 1:07:33Speaker 01

  Uh, alright, my last ornament here.

• 1:07:36Speaker 01

  Again, why are we-

• 1:07:37Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:07:38Speaker 01

  -allowing Big Christmas to dictate what is and is not an ornament?

• 1:07:42Speaker 02

  Well, this is gonna be just-

• 1:07:43Speaker 01

  Who are we? Okay, this thing, I don't know if you guys feel this way, my trees are supposed to be representative of me.

• 1:07:50Speaker 02

  We know that.

• 1:07:51Speaker 01

  You know why? My childlike wonder.

• 1:07:52Speaker 02

  You said that.

• 1:07:54Speaker 01

  Imagination.

• 1:07:55Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:07:55Speaker 01

  Joy.

• 1:07:56Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:07:57Speaker 01

  Humble beginnings.

• 1:07:58Speaker 02

  More adjectives.

• 1:07:59Speaker 01

  So that's why, my last ornament. Is a boxed copy of Super Mario 64.

• 1:08:04Speaker 02

  Well, what are we doing?

• 1:08:06Speaker 01

  From the Nintendo 64.

• 1:08:07Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:08:08Speaker 01

  I think-

• 1:08:09Speaker 02

  Now we're getting crazy.

• 1:08:09Speaker 01

  Why? How?

• 1:08:10Speaker 02

  Now we're getting crazy.

• 1:08:11Speaker 01

  Why is this getting crazy? You allowed Jeff Hardy, but, but an Italian plumber from Brooklyn you don't like?

• 1:08:16Speaker 02

  Is he from Brooklyn?

• 1:08:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:18Speaker 02

  Is that true?

• 1:08:18Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:08:19Speaker 03

  Well, I like that.

• 1:08:21Speaker 02

  What do you like?

• 1:08:21Speaker 03

  I like that part.

• 1:08:23Speaker 01

  This is a relic of the past. This was released with the United States version of the Nintendo 64.

• 1:08:29Speaker 02

  This feels like you just wanna tell people you have this.

• 1:08:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:32Speaker 01

  No, I've, I've always publicized that I have this. This is not new.

• 1:08:36Speaker 02

  How much was that?

• 1:08:37Speaker 01

  Well, I bought it, I bought it several, several years ago at a steal, because this is not its price now. I got it for forty-four dollars.

• 1:08:45Speaker 02

  What is it now, you think?

• 1:08:46Speaker 01

  It's a couple hundred bucks.

• 1:08:47Speaker 02

  Really?

• 1:08:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:48Speaker 03

  So you paid forty-four dollars for that ornament? And you're judging me on mine?

• 1:08:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:08:52Speaker 03

  Crazy.

• 1:08:53Speaker 02

  Well, his isn't an ornament.

• 1:08:54Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:08:54Speaker 02

  And yours is.

• 1:08:56Speaker 03

  That's the-

• 1:08:56Speaker 02

  So that's-

• 1:08:57Speaker 03

  That's the-

• 1:08:57Speaker 02

  Go ahead.

• 1:08:58Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:08:58Speaker 02

  That's good. Yep. Now, what happens if that falls down and breaks?

• 1:09:03Speaker 01

  Uh, it's not in mint condition, so I'm not really that upset about it.

• 1:09:06Speaker 02

  It won't be in any condition.

• 1:09:08Speaker 01

  If it falls down and breaks, Joey-

• 1:09:10Speaker 02

  Have you ever, have you opened it and played it?

• 1:09:13Speaker 01

  No, I have not. It is an open copy, though, and it's, it's not in great condition. There's some tears on the edges and stuff like that, but it's just cool to have. I don't care about all that. But, again, when you look at the tree, you go, "That's Frank, baby."

• 1:09:25Speaker 03

  Can we-

• 1:09:26Speaker 02

  Did you just hear that?

• 1:09:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, that was terrifying.

• 1:09:28Speaker 02

  That was my fucking throat.

• 1:09:29Speaker 01

  What did it do?

• 1:09:30Speaker 03

  I think only I-

• 1:09:30Speaker 02

  It like barked.

• 1:09:31Speaker 03

  Only I could've heard it.

• 1:09:32Speaker 02

  That was insane.

• 1:09:33Speaker 01

  That was fucking crazy. I was just like, "Bark."

• 1:09:41Speaker 01

  I wanted to say "barked," but I almost said "barfed." And then, but I wanted to say "roared."

• 1:09:48Speaker 02

  You should roar.

• 1:09:49Speaker 01

  I don't know what's going on.

• 1:09:50Speaker 03

  Is it possible to tilt that box, like, down a little bit? I'm getting a lot of reflection here. It's a very shiny box.

• 1:09:56Speaker 01

  It's very shiny box.

• 1:09:58Speaker 03

  That's much better, actually.

• 1:09:59Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:10:00Speaker 02

  I think it's, it's, again, when someone looks at my tree, they're gonna say, "Wow, this is someone that is..."

• 1:10:05Speaker 01

  Connected to their humble beginnings.

• 1:10:06Speaker 02

  You love doing.

• 1:10:07Speaker 01

  Establishes a childlike wonder and maintains it.

• 1:10:10Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:10:10Speaker 01

  And is a lover of things.

• 1:10:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's what they're gonna say.

• 1:10:15Speaker 01

  What do you got?

• 1:10:16Speaker 03

  I think to round off my tree, that is so clearly me.

• 1:10:19Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:10:19Speaker 03

  Uh, it would be remiss to not add a, I have a picky boy's logo ornament.

• 1:10:23Speaker 01

  Oh my god, he's using it as a cheap plug for his podcast!

• 1:10:27Speaker 02

  That's fucking absolutely crazy.

• 1:10:29Speaker 03

  It's Christmas themed though.

• 1:10:30Speaker 01

  That's how, you know, this is, this is, this is.

• 1:10:32Speaker 02

  Let me guess, you're selling it in a merch store?

• 1:10:34Speaker 03

  Uh, no, this one's one of one.

• 1:10:36Speaker 01

  This is a monster of our own making though. If we had just let him plug his shows. One time, this wouldn't have happened.

• 1:10:42Speaker 03

  I have to find ways.

• 1:10:44Speaker 02

  He left a perfect space in the, in the front of the tree so that it would.

• 1:10:48Speaker 01

  I mean, it's kidding, he knows marketing. Good for you. You know what? Good for you. We'll let you keep it for this episode only, bitch.

• 1:10:56Speaker 01

  I think. How much did you spend on that?

• 1:10:59Speaker 03

  Uh, probably about thirty-three bucks.

• 1:11:01Speaker 01

  Bro, this is the most expensive tree.

• 1:11:03Speaker 03

  No, I'm kidding.

• 1:11:04Speaker 01

  You know what?

• 1:11:04Speaker 03

  It's like twelve bucks.

• 1:11:05Speaker 01

  I didn't even think of that. Trees are expen- like, once you like, put all the ornaments and lights on them, they're like.

• 1:11:12Speaker 01

  They could be like five hundred dollar. More than that.

• 1:11:16Speaker 02

  I mean, I have a fake tree, so it was more than that.

• 1:11:18Speaker 01

  How expensive was your fake tree?

• 1:11:20Speaker 02

  It was a lot.

• 1:11:21Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:11:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:11:22Speaker 01

  I think.

• 1:11:23Speaker 02

  It's a balsam hill.

• 1:11:24Speaker 01

  No big deal.

• 1:11:24Speaker 02

  No big deal.

• 1:11:26Speaker 01

  Spend it, spend it if you got it, baby. Spend, spend it. Hey, you're not gonna look back and worry about that purchase.

• 1:11:32Speaker 02

  A balsam hill?

• 1:11:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:34Speaker 02

  Oh no!

• 1:11:37Speaker 02

  Um, but yeah, I think it was like eight hundred bucks. Which is crazy for a tree.

• 1:11:44Speaker 01

  I dropped my game.

• 1:11:45Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:11:48Speaker 02

  I gotta get it.

• 1:11:48Speaker 01

  I don't have a lot of, um, I guess I have a decent amount. Of like, we ha- we have a lot of like filler, uh, ornaments too.

• 1:11:57Speaker 02

  Yep, yep, it's good. This is the issue with putting a whole box on a tree.

• 1:12:02Speaker 03

  I feel like my tree looks beautiful.

• 1:12:04Speaker 02

  It does, yours is covered, man.

• 1:12:05Speaker 03

  It's a wonderful tree. A little less space to cover, that's why.

• 1:12:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:12:09Speaker 03

  And I got you right in the middle.

• 1:12:10Speaker 02

  I appreciate that.

• 1:12:11Speaker 03

  I got you.

• 1:12:12Speaker 02

  I, I, I don't know how I feel about being a mermaid.

• 1:12:15Speaker 01

  Don't fuck around, you love the idea of being a mermaid.

• 1:12:17Speaker 02

  Oh, in life, I would like to be a mermaid.

• 1:12:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:20Speaker 02

  But not merman.

• 1:12:22Speaker 01

  A shirtless one you're not into.

• 1:12:24Speaker 02

  Well, you gotta be shirtless, I can't wear a shirt. In the pool. In the ocean, I mean.

• 1:12:30Speaker 01

  What fucking?

• 1:12:32Speaker 02

  Dude, imagine mermaids were real, that'd be fire.

• 1:12:34Speaker 01

  What was that movie where that kid slowly?

• 1:12:36Speaker 02

  Little Mermaid.

• 1:12:38Speaker 01

  You think I forgot The Little Mermaid?

• 1:12:40Speaker 02

  What are you thinking?

• 1:12:41Speaker 01

  I was gonna say, what was that Disney movie where the kid like slowly turned into, or someone slowly turned into a mermaid or something?

• 1:12:46Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, what the fuck is that?

• 1:12:50Speaker 03

  Could just be called Mermaids.

• 1:12:52Speaker 01

  Splash?

• 1:12:53Speaker 03

  Oh, that's it, I remember.

• 1:12:54Speaker 01

  That's not a Disney movie either, that's a Ron Howard movie. That's a full-on movie movie.

• 1:12:59Speaker 02

  I thought of L. Ron Hubbard, when you said that, I said, what?

• 1:13:02Speaker 01

  I, I don't watch L. Ron Hubbard movies, Joey, and we should probably be careful about bringing their lord's name up.

• 1:13:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:13:09Speaker 01

  Cause they'll be upset.

• 1:13:10Speaker 02

  Yeah. Um, you know what, that reminded me of like the movie, uh, that you were just talking about, remember those like weird Disney movies? I, the one that always stuck out to me was Lucky the Irish. The kid who played basketball? I looked like him.

• 1:13:23Speaker 01

  You looked like him as a little, as a kid.

• 1:13:25Speaker 02

  No, I didn't.

• 1:13:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, you did.

• 1:13:27Speaker 02

  But he also, his, his hair just started to get really red.

• 1:13:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, oh, he full-on started turning into.

• 1:13:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, that dude.

• 1:13:33Speaker 01

  Dude, you're gonna tell me you didn't kinda look like this kid?

• 1:13:37Speaker 02

  Nah, bro, come on, give me a break.

• 1:13:39Speaker 01

  You had the frosted tips and everything.

• 1:13:40Speaker 02

  Oh, and the, look at the, I never had frosted tips, I wish.

• 1:13:44Speaker 01

  I remember Eddie's Million Dollar Cook-Off.

• 1:13:47Speaker 02

  What was the?

• 1:13:48Speaker 01

  Smart House. Smart House was a good one.

• 1:13:50Speaker 02

  It was like, I always remember that, the scene in that movie where they had a party and then the floor just like sucked up all the garbage. And it was like, oh, it's a clean house now, I was like, damn.

• 1:13:59Speaker 01

  That, that would be nice. Uh, what was the one, there was also the one where the girls, the, the twin sisters played basketball?

• 1:14:08Speaker 01

  Have you seen, have you seen, that's why I'm doing that. Have you seen the clip from it that has like circulated?

• 1:14:13Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:14:13Speaker 01

  How bad it was done?

• 1:14:15Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:14:15Speaker 01

  Dude, it's painful to watch.

• 1:14:16Speaker 02

  Oh, is it another thing like, we hired actors that can't play basketball?

• 1:14:20Speaker 01

  Clearly.

• 1:14:20Speaker 02

  Is it basketball music?

• 1:14:21Speaker 01

  Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, they, Disney movies had some bangers back in the day. I mean, we were open lovers of High School Musical and Cheetah Girls, Cheetah Sisters.

• 1:14:30Speaker 02

  Cheetah Sisters.

• 1:14:31Speaker 01

  Lizzie McGuire.

• 1:14:32Speaker 02

  Oh, banger. Um, it's a banger. I didn't say I want a banger. I, I don't know why that's, I like, I felt the need to correct myself.

• 1:14:38Speaker 01

  We understood, no, no, no, we understood what you were saying.

• 1:14:40Speaker 02

  I want a banger, like, that's not what I said.

• 1:14:41Speaker 01

  She's coming out with new music, by the way, Hilary Duff.

• 1:14:43Speaker 02

  Perfect.

• 1:14:44Speaker 01

  If Hilary Duff does a Christmas album, dude, didn't Disney do a Christmas album?

• 1:14:49Speaker 02

  They probably did.

• 1:14:50Speaker 01

  I'm sure.

• 1:14:50Speaker 02

  Look that up.

• 1:14:51Speaker 01

  They were working those children.

• 1:14:52Speaker 02

  Look up Disney, what?

• 1:14:53Speaker 01

  Look up Disney star Christmas album.

• 1:14:56Speaker 02

  I just haven't, I, I wonder what it could be.

• 1:14:59Speaker 01

  Like, it's like Corbin Blue singing Blue Christmas.

• 1:15:03Speaker 01

  That would be incredible, but now that I said it out loud.

• 1:15:05Speaker 02

  I don't know, but incredible.

• 1:15:07Speaker 01

  I have a blue Christmas.

• 1:15:11Speaker 02

  That's my Corbin Blue impression.

• 1:15:14Speaker 01

  Disney 2000's Holidays?

• 1:15:16Speaker 02

  No. Uh, Disney Channel Holiday Hits 2016, a bunch of the stars did a short EP, November 18th.

• 1:15:24Speaker 01

  I don't care about that. I want to hear, like,

• 1:15:28Speaker 01

  the girl from Proud Family doing, you know, It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas.

• 1:15:33Speaker 02

  Isn't that Raven Simone?

• 1:15:35Speaker 01

  No, I forgot her name. Ki- Ki- Kira, I can't remember. Raven Simone was from?

• 1:15:41Speaker 02

  That's a Raven.

• 1:15:42Speaker 01

  That's a Raven.

• 1:15:42Speaker 02

  I thought Raven Simone was on that show too.

• 1:15:44Speaker 01

  No, she was on?

• 1:15:46Speaker 02

  She was, she was.

• 1:15:47Speaker 01

  The Cosby Show.

• 1:15:48Speaker 02

  She was Stephanie on The Proud Family, she was on that show as well.

• 1:15:50Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:15:50Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:15:52Speaker 01

  It was animated though, so there's no way you knew that.

• 1:15:54Speaker 02

  It was animamorphic, dude, I knew it.

• 1:15:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, as I remember, we'd be watching Disney Channel, there'd be like those like Christmas, like, the, the commercials would be like them singing a Christmas song.

• 1:16:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, but it would be like selling a CD or something.

• 1:16:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, good times.

• 1:16:09Speaker 02

  Kids, Bob, dude. Who are these kids?

• 1:16:12Speaker 01

  I don't know. I have, I, can I just, really quick, say something? My tree's the best. I know it's not a competition, but with you guys, it always is.

• 1:16:21Speaker 02

  I feel like mine is not, is not good. Like, there's a lot of Nicholas Cage.

• 1:16:26Speaker 01

  I mean, two is a lot. If we're being honest.

• 1:16:30Speaker 02

  This is cute. This is the cutest we have, everywhere. Ah, the Barney one might be cuter.

• 1:16:35Speaker 01

  Again!

• 1:16:36Speaker 02

  Oh, well, that's the problem. See, if you don't follow the rules, there's consequences, Frank.

• 1:16:40Speaker 03

  I don't want to be this guy.

• 1:16:43Speaker 03

  My tree blew. Size, good things come in small packages, is what I proved here today.

• 1:16:49Speaker 02

  Your tree blew?

• 1:16:50Speaker 03

  You guys out of the water.

• 1:16:51Speaker 02

  Oh. I don't know about all that.

• 1:16:54Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 1:16:55Speaker 02

  I think that you could have possibly, it's, it's like, you got, you got it there, which is a different holiday.

• 1:17:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's true.

• 1:17:05Speaker 01

  I, I, I think that, you have a good tree.

• 1:17:08Speaker 02

  It's a good tree.

• 1:17:08Speaker 01

  It's nowhere near the quality of mine.

• 1:17:10Speaker 02

  Frank barely followed the rules. I thought he was gonna pull out, like, food or something and put it on there, like something.

• 1:17:17Speaker 01

  You know what's funny?

• 1:17:18Speaker 02

  Like, an actual pickle.

• 1:17:19Speaker 01

  You know what's funny is I was on the drive-in looking for a hot dog stand, and I was gonna bring a full, actual hot dog.

• 1:17:26Speaker 02

  We, that wouldn't have lasted on your tree.

• 1:17:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, it would've.

• 1:17:29Speaker 02

  No, I would've walked over and ate it.

• 1:17:30Speaker 01

  Oh, really?

• 1:17:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:17:32Speaker 01

  That would've been yummy.

• 1:17:34Speaker 02

  That would've been yummy. Um, well, there you have it, folks. It's a very Merry Christmas. The Christmas season's officially here. Wanted to decorate our trees, because the trees are staying for, for December, alright? So, thank you so much to everyone, uh, you know, this year. We're feeling very thankful and grateful. Um, but it's the Christmas season, trying to get some joyous memories with you families, alright?

• 1:18:00Speaker 03

  Oh, I actually do have one more for you, if you want.

• 1:18:02Speaker 02

  What is that?

• 1:18:03Speaker 03

  Here, it's for you.

• 1:18:05Speaker 02

  I already, I saw what it was in the air. And it's a, you know that meme with the guy with the giant dick? That's what it is.

• 1:18:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, oh.

• 1:18:18Speaker 01

  You can't show that.

• 1:18:20Speaker 02

  Well, here it is.

• 1:18:21Speaker 01

  Why, why did you have that, like? You spent money on that too, didn't you?

• 1:18:27Speaker 03

  That was 12 bucks.

• 1:18:28Speaker 01

  Well, now Joey's has a lot of phallic imagery, by the way. The cheeto, the hot dog.

• 1:18:35Speaker 02

  At this point, I'll take anything that is a Nicolas Cage.

• 1:18:38Speaker 01

  You got it. If anything could be more of the opposite of Nicolas Cage, it's that. Um, I also, I have one more thing. If I could.

• 1:18:48Speaker 02

  What, what's going on? You sneaky, sneaky ornament guys. Oh, God, okay.

• 1:18:53Speaker 02

  Alright, alright, well.

• 1:18:56Speaker 02

  And a very Merry Christmas to you guys too. And holidays, happy holidays. They almost got me just now. You gotta throw the holidays in. Um...

• 1:19:06Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 1:19:07Speaker 03

  You got, you got him. So good. So good.

• 1:19:11Speaker 02

  I've been gotten.

• 1:19:13Speaker 01

  Chris Mahana Kwanzeka, for whatever you celebrate. How about that?

• 1:19:16Speaker 02

  Sure. Where can they find you?

• 1:19:21Speaker 02

  And?

• 1:19:22Speaker 03

  I'm not getting this one.

• 1:19:22Speaker 01

  No, you are not! Just look at his tree!

• 1:19:25Speaker 02

  We will see you guys next time!