The Basement Yard
Original podcast
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18,565 words · 7 speakers
Now streaming on Paramount Plus.
I'm Dexter Morgan. I've been killing killers for half my life. It gets to you. You're having a midlife crisis. I'm not ready for this.
He's back.
I'm older. I'm wiser.
And sharper than ever.
Things are gonna get messy. But if I can't believe in myself, I can't believe in anything.
Dexter Resurrection. New season now streaming on the Paramount Plus Premium Plan.
Welcome back to the ba-
Welcome back to the Basement Yard. There he is.
There I am.
What are you doing?
Do I do this? Is this the cool thing?
What is that hat?
The new era logo.
You got a hat of a hat? Company hat?
Yeah. Yes, I did.
Team Hat.
I mean, to be honest, it was free. They sent it to me, so... But I do like it. It's also, it's like a British one.
I was, I thought it was like New England for a second. I was like, what are you doing?
Because the British-
What's British?
The hat? I'm not even really that quite sure. Shetland.
What's that?
Was that a curse?
It sounded like a slur.
It sounds like-
For someone Scottish?
Oh, where the fuck you from? Shetland, you fucking crock. I don't know. I, I, I'm still learning. And then it says moon. So this could be from many places.
Yeah.
But it does say woven in England. So that's cool. I like it. It's gold.
Don't look at me. I'm not asking you about your hat. I know what it is.
I didn't say anything. I didn't say anything. How many, can I ask, how many Yankee hats in different colors do you have?
Four.
What are the colors? So brown, blue?
Brown, black, blue, and I have a beige one.
Wow, that's a good, that's, I mean, just commit now and they got the only hat that you wear.
I mean, it's, it's a, it's, I think, the best hat.
I agree.
And you're from there, so you, you know, you gotta take advantage when you can.
I remember when, uh, uh, remember the song Empire State of Mind? Jay-Z, Alicia Keys.
Why did you say her name like that? Alicia Keys?
Alicia.
Alicia. Alicia.
Okay. Sorry, word, the word police are out today.
That's where the syntax grammar police are out today. I forgot about that.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, but in the song, he says like, "I made a Yankee hat more famous than a Yankee can."
When that song came out, first of all, that song came out when the Yankees won the World Series. Impeccable timing.
Do you think that's true?
No, and when that song came out as a seventeen-year-old, I would actively, during that part of the song, I'd say like, "No, he didn't."
You would do that.
I did.
He would boycott and probably just be like, "I made a..."
Yeah, well, like-
And then come back in.
And like, change the lyrics up myself.
You know, I, I just, I don't agree with that. I think that there was decades of Yankees greats before-
Maybe he did bring it to like, hip-hop and like, the culture of wearing it. I don't know.
What, well, did he have that hat on the cover of an album? Was that, like, is that a Yankee hat or is it just an, the Black Album?
Isn't that an all-black hat?
I don't think that he's worn a hat that isn't a Yankee hat, so it could be. Back then.
I mean, I would hope that he commits to it.
I know that he's like, the Black Album's like him, it's probably a Yankee hat.
I don't remem- I don't remember.
It's a great album, too.
That was the last album from Jay-Z that I had.
The Black Album?
It's a good one.
Oh, wait, was the Blueprint after that? The Blueprint 3?
Yeah, I can't remember the-
Remember dates of albums, Joey.
I can't, my, me and dates are so, we're bad, we're bad. I can't have dates.
You're our rap correspondent.
I can't, I can't.
You need to know this.
I don't know dates, I don't know anything.
Uh, so, oh, we're all wearing hats today. This is big hat day.
Big hat day.
We know your hat, you don't need to fucking tell us about it.
Keep bringing up your hat, dude. We get it.
Enough with your hat.
We get that, we get your hat, we get it and stop talking about it into the microphone so loudly.
Enough, enough. All you like to do is just keep it going.
Mm-hmm. Talk about your hats.
Take the hint, baby.
By the way, the other day I realized on my Wikipedia, it says that I am featured in Santa Gotta Studios and the Picky Boys. Did you do that?
No, I didn't.
Because, literally, in my Wikipedia, it says that I'm featured in the Picky Boys.
Oh, that's so funny that you bring that up. First of all, good. I mean, you know, give him, give him a little something.
I didn't give him anything. I was wondering if he was like...
Oh, well, I mean, he definitely, if, if it's you...
It's also locked, so no one can change it.
If it's you that's doing this, fuck you, because someone sent me a screenshot of like, what's the Google AI assistant, Gemini?
And it was like the Je- you know how you like Google a question and it'll be like Gemini gave you an auto answer? It was like Frank Alvers openly spoke about the fact that he's four foot ten.
See, now AI is coming back around.
It's coming back around.
Fucking, fucking you, because you're...
No one's fucking me.
Yeah, you did a couple, you did too many jokes.
No, the jokes, the jokes were on you. So AI, listen, hear me out. He's four ten. You've seen the pictures of him. Look at you. That's four ten.
Unfortunately, AI is never wrong, right?
Alright. No, I don't, let's not open that can of worms. Uh, but yeah, so are you controlling our Wikipedia pages?
I didn't even know, I wanted to learn how to do that for my own reasons, and I couldn't figure it out, so now...
I think you can just go and edit it, can't you?
You can create an account, but the, I know that one specifically, like, I made the mistake of posting about it. Um, because you could go in and like change things.
At, like, to a regular page, like, whatever. Not that I'm ill reg- ill regu- come on now, irregular. Um, but I made a video because someone put, like, you know how you have a picture and you, under it, you like describe it? And it says Joe Santagato is four, or like five foot two or some shit like that. So I'm, so I made a TikTok and I was like, who did this? And then people kept going in and making it shorter and shorter. So then Wikipedia locks it. And they're like, you know, clearly there's a lot of traffic going to this thing, so they just lock it. So now it says, "I'm featured in the Picky Boys and I can't change it."
So it just stuck with that? Yeah, that happens, that happens a lot with like athletes, like if... Someone will like, you know, i- i- if fucking Terrell Suggs like sacks Dak Prescott a ton. I know different times. I know, I understand. I understand. I know, I know there are different times.
Not in the league.
I know, I know, I know, I know. I'm just saying like, they'll put like, you know, Dak Prescott, mother's name this, father's name Terrell Suggs.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, like, they do shit like that. So I could see why they have to lock it at a certain point.
I just noticed that the other day. I was laughing though. By the way, Spotify Raps just dropped.
Ah.
And you posted on your story that your listening age, which my listening age was 25.
I don't know if I should be happy about that, but it is what it is. Yours is 83.
That's very, very high, brother.
What are you listening to?
Like ragtime songs?
The storming of the, of Normandy? What are you listening to?
I haven't.
Glenn Miller Band.
I haven't seen someone with a higher age. I'm really embarrassed.
Now that I think about it, I mean, how much higher could you get that's available on music apps?
You're just listening to the Johnny Carson Show on Spotify?
Actually, probably younger. Johnny Carson was popular in the 70s, so.
It's a lot of Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra.
So then I get that, because I listen to that a lot too.
What are you doing over there?
What was it?
Just chilling. With like a cigar and a smoking jacket?
It's the best time to do it, isn't it?
Yeah, that does sound, that used to, honestly, that used to be my playlist when I would write papers in college and grad school. Is it was all Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin. Because there's something about their voices, just like, get it on the paper.
You know? If I didn't follow me here?
They're like sexually getting you to write?
No.
Get it on the paper.
Sexually is not what I said at all.
Get it on the paper, Frank, and we'll rub your back for you.
No, no, no. Dean Martin had his hands far away from me.
Frankie, blue eyes, and you're writing your paper?
No, I used to sit there with a, I remember my mom, when I was in grad school, I was 21, let's make that abundantly clear. Uh, who cares?
Not me.
What did that have to?
My mom would, got me a crate, literally a crate of Two Buck Chuck. Do you guys remember Two Buck Chuck?
A crate of two Buckchucks, it sounds like Crash Bandicoot, what is that?
Basically, it was the like, award-winning wine from Trader Joe's, but they were two dol- it was like,
This, this wine won all the awards at the wine party.
And it, they're two dollars a bottle. So my mom got me like, a crate for like, eighty bucks. And I would sit there.
Was that, is that, literally is that forty dol- forty bottles?
Yeah. And I would sit there.
How would that ever be necessary?
I was probably having a bit of a problem at the time. Yes, Anne.
How long did it take you to get through that crate?
A semester.
Oh.
That's not that bad.
Alright.
I mean, when you're-
Yes, it is.
No, it's not when you're twenty-two years old, and in prime drinking time, that's the amount of-
Forty bottles of wine?
In-
Six months?
Four months?
Six months, he didn't go to college, he didn't.
He did, but he went to Big Dick College, that's where he went.
Did you?
I did a, no.
I don't think that's that bad. The last week in August is when it started, and the second week in December is when it finished, so, four months, roughly.
You could go through four bottles in a weekend, as a young Frankie.
That's what I'm saying, like, I was, when I-
Every weekend, though?
No! But some weekends are, or some weeks, it's like casually with writing a paper. Some, it's like, three, four bottles in a weekend, like, it all fucking-
Six, sevens out.
Wow. Were you just the wine guy, then?
I was not.
You drank wine for the whole semester?
I was not. I did drink like, you know, like Natty Lights, and Bush Lights, and-
You know, Milwaukee's Best. I, I, I didn't have-
Old Milwaukee.
Yeah, I didn't have like, high taste, but, I would, the point I was getting at is I'd open up a bottle of Two Buck Chuck.
I'd throw on some Frank Sinatra, you know, uh, Isles of Capri, you know what I'm saying? Summer Wind?
I like this kinda music in like the Christmas time kinda like that's when it feels like it definitely in the winter but in the summer is crazy.
I'm in, I'm in the summer, babe.
Song is called the summer.
Frank Sinatra in the summer to me is bananas. But it's kinda like flowy bossa nova shirt open drink in your hand like.
What's bossa nova?
It's like a style of music.
Oh, I'm not familiar.
It's, you know what it is, right?
Bossa nova?
Oh, bossa nova?
No, bossa nova.
Yeah. Is that just cool?
Yeah, I don't. I, I don't, I didn't make it. Let's make that very clear.
What does it mean?
I didn't name it, but there's something like kinda like hanging at the beach.
I guess, I mean, I just don't picture it in that way. I picture it in like a, you know, pajamas around the fire and it's cold out kinda thing, like maybe a little glass of whiskey. It's like somewhere. I was, I was about to say, I, I've listened to that as well. I think there's an argument that that might be the best song ever made.
Beyond the Sea is the best song ever made?
That's a crazy.
It's a good song, but like.
I think there's an argument for it.
I, I don't think that there's an argument for it at all.
I mean, you know what?
Somewhere. Whatever. You can have it if you want. I, I wouldn't put it even in my top fifty.
Oh, come on.
Fifty, brother.
Come on.
Fifty.
It's just, I was thinking that and then you sung it. I'm like, wow.
But that's a great, listen to what he's saying. Beyond the Sea, like it's like an outside song. Like, yes, don't get me wrong. I love them fireside. But like, you know, there's something about like Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, you know, it's just like a little like outside.
That's kinda wild though. That's like all you listen to.
Your listening age being eighty-three is fucking crazy. I'll be honest, that it shocked me.
What was your top song?
My top song was actually Father Figure, John Bellion.
That was your top song?
That was my top song.
Oh, wow. So then how the hell does that bring you to, so you must have listened to so much Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin. You beat out your top song?
Dude, I don't.
That they were like, listen. This guy, that must've been a fluke. He must've passed out and accidentally listened to John Bellion for five hours.
So my top songs are Father Figure, Club Husband, T-Pain, obviously that was.
That just came out like a month ago.
That was playing a lot.
What?
And then Valar, Valare, right? Dean Martin and then Beyond the Sea.
Valare?
Valare.
I mean, this is-
Do you spend your time in a delicatessen? Where the fuck are you going?
This is such an interesting mix of songs.
Alright, so alright, so give us your top 10 songs.
It only does five.
What does that mean, it only does five?
Oh, okay, well, I, I, I got mine on Apple Music.
Yeah, what was yours?
And my top 10 songs.
Do you have top artists?
I do have top artists. So, my top artists, it's basically just four artists. But, it's just like, they're categorized in different ways. So, my top artist is Billy Joel.
Uh huh.
Big Billy Joel guy. I watched the documentary, crushed it, I've been crushing some Billy Joel.
Okay.
Number two, four, and five are, oh, yeah, number two, four, and five are all Hamilton-related.
They're Hamilton adjacent.
So, anytime there's music going, like, happening around you, like, there's an 80% chance it's Hamilton?
That's crazy.
Well, four out of my 10, so 40% chance.
Uh, and then the other, uh, oh, Ozzy Osbourne was on there, coming in at number three. R.I.P. Ozzy.
You gotta, you gotta put him, you know, send him out on his-
Send him out on, on a fucking, on his chariot, riding high. And then the others were all K-pop Demon Hunters-related.
Nice.
Because of the kids.
Yeah, you gotta-
I don't hate that music.
Right.
But I also don't listen to it in my own time.
You know, but my nu- my number, so wait, your number one song was Father Figure by John Bellamy. What was your number one song? Oh, let me guess, let me guess, it's fucking, uh, uh, uh, uh, White Man With A Beard, Who Was Vegan?
Wow, and I mean, the crowd goes wild, and we're gonna have to call the police, people are rioting.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Uh, no, my top song was, uh, Olive Tree by Quinn92.
What's wrong with that?
No, he's, his face just like morphed. Um, yeah, it's, it's a, it's a song that he dropped this year called Olive Tree.
Oh, for someone that hates olives.
I know it probably has-
This song is-
I know it probably has nothing to do with olives.
I'm not tasting olives while I'm listening to the song.
Hear me out.
But that's called synesthesia, buddy. People have that.
Uh, sure. Uh, but-
What you're describing.
I know what you're saying. I'm just saying like, imagine if you were listening to Olive Tree with a cup of olives in your hand. That would be kind of nice. And if you were listening to Volare while chowing down on a fucking cannoli or something. My top song, and it's not, I guess it's, I have 561 top, total songs that I listen to. My top song
was Yakko's World from Animaniacs.
I don't even know what that is.
You do.
You know, where he does all the countries of the world?
Sing it.
He?
Yakko. One of the Warner Brothers from the Animaniacs.
Is that one of the, like, the little, um-
In the water tower?
The little, like, cats or whatever?
Yeah. Yeah, I mean, don't, please don't do this thing where you're like, what are, Animaniacs, what are they? You know who the fuck they are.
I, it's been 25 years. I'm like, I don't remember.
30.
I'm saying you know the song I'm saying.
Yeah, United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama, Haiti, Jamaica, Peru, Republic of Dominican, Cuba, Caribbean, Greenland, El Salvador too. Come on. I'm not gonna do the whole song. I can. Let's make that very clear.
Why is it your top? They just list countries?
Yeah. Because I was trying to learn it.
For why?
For me.
Just to get, it's every country in the world?
Well, it was in 1993 when the song came, when the show came out. I think some of these countries either no longer exist or they are now one country or something.
Uh, but I set a goal for myself, a little challenge to test my, test my discipline.
And I did it.
So what are you gonna do in 2026?
What's the, what's the big thing for 26 then?
The sky's the limit.
That is so crazy.
But then my second biggest song is Golden. Duh.
Yeah, it's gotta be.
I mean, again, it's with the kids. Uh, Mama, I'm Coming Home, Ozzy Osbourne, great song. My shot from Hamilton and then Strategy from, from Huntrix.
From what?
Huntrix.
Uh, K-pop Demon Hunter.
Oh, okay.
I'm trying to think if there's-
I haven't really gotten into K-pop, K-Tupac Demon Hunter. I've never gotten into that.
If you watch it, you'll be on board. I'm knowing you, I think you'll really enjoy it.
I'm sure I would. I mean, everyone sings its praises. I just haven't like, I haven't seen it.
I think Joey would be a soda pop. He'd be a Saja boy. You know what I'm saying?
Massage?
No, a Saja boy.
Saja boy?
I don't know what that means, but...
You'll be happy about this. There is a hip hop song in my top 10.
What year?
It's the International Players Anthem, UGK.
That is like, the Frank song.
That song is...
You love that song.
That might be one of the greatest hip hop songs of all time.
I'll give you that.
I don't know how you...
There's different genres?
Yeah, they are different genres.
I feel like your age would have been pretty high if it wasn't for the demon...
Shh, certainly.
The demon hunter's really dragging you down there.
I mean, no!
Well, he's got this going on. Yeah. You know, so he's probably like, really old and really young. Yeah. So he'd probably be 50.
So, I mean...
Still 30 years old.
I mean, you could make the argument, is Hamilton old?
Have you been to a show?
That's not a part of the question.
When was, wasn't it from like...
It came like 2015. It's like 10 years old.
Isn't that from the 1700s? I would, I would hate it.
Hamilton, the person, is from the 1700s.
I don't think that the people who enjoy Hamilton, an overwhelming majority of them are, are like, under 30.
Yeah, I mean, I, I would think, I would like this to be closer to my actual age. I think, I think if we're looking at it, the Ozzy Osbourne and Billy Joel put me up there.
But everything else keeps me pretty where I am.
I would say that Hamilton and Broadway for the most part is probably like, you know, like, I'm sure there's younger people that enjoy that. I mean, I enjoy it too, but it feels like a middle aged type of thing.
I think it depends on the show. Now, if I'm singing stuff from fucking Hello Dolly, I could understand why...
It's a show.
Dolly Parton?
Oh, I don't know. I've never seen it.
Got it.
Oklahoma. Never seen that one either, but I'm, I, I thought you'd know it. I, that's an older crowd, because it's an older show. But I think Hamilton is relatively younger.
Maybe.
You don't think so? And where, where do you sit with this?
Barbra Streisand.
I'm, I'm sorry, one more time.
How is that an answer to his question? Oh, that's the Hello Dolly, Barbra Streisand.
Oh, Barbara.
Barbbara.
One of the...
Actually, I think she spelled Barbara.
Cause Barbara is Barbara, but she's Barbara.
You're right.
I think she's Barb-rah.
Yeah, something like that. But like, when I saw her name, I was like, that's not how you spell Barbara. But she spells it Barbara, like, which is like, to me, the correct way.
But mu- musicals? I like musicals.
What's your favorite musical?
Hmm, Wicked, probably. I've seen it four times.
I just saw Wicked yesterday.
Oh, that's right, you went to the movies?
Went to Alamo Drafthouse.
How was the movie theater going experience?
Um, it was cool. I mean, they, you know, I had a beer.
Alamo Drafthouse doesn't count as a movie theater.
Why?
Why? I mean, you're sitting there in a theater, watching a movie.
If anything, they count more than movie, like, as a movie theater, because they're like, very into like, indie films and like, pu- putting, showcasing stuff that wouldn't otherwise get showcased.
Yeah, when I walked in, there was a lot of posters of things I have never seen before in my life. But, saw Wicked, I thought it was good. I saw a lot of people online being like, this movie sucks, this is kinda blah blah blah. I thought it was, I thought it was good for what it was, I mean.
Arivo can sing, dude.
Bro, Cynthia Arivo can sing her fucking ass off. Also, Ariana Grande can also sing her ass off. And I remember, I was watching the movie, and I started laughing, cause I had this feeling of like, wow, I'm so happy for her. And I was like, what am I doing?
Who's this?
For Ariana Grande.
That's that parasocial relationship that you were talking about.
Well, there's been like, interviews of her, like, when she was younger, being like, oh, like, all she's wanted to do was like, do Wicked. And then she ends up doing it, and she's in the movie, and I'm like, this is a big moment.
Yeah, absolutely.
To be in this thing, like, you know, like, Wicked and The Wizard of Oz is like, a giant cultural thing. So for her to actually be in the movie, I was like, I'm so happy for her. And then I was like, what am I doing?
Yeah, that is a bit, that is a bit.
But it was good.
I mean, it, it, like, she, after I saw, cause I haven't seen the second one yet, after I saw the first one, I was like, yo, she really is like, just has natural talent for like, seemingly anything she does.
I guess the only two things I've seen her do are sing and act, so.
Those are big ones.
Those are very big ones. She's also great on SNL, and like, her appearances on SNL, she's been really, really good.
You know, but it was good, I liked it, I thought it was cool. Fucking Four Good, dude, that song is a fucking slapper.
Yeah, I, I'll probably, not that I'm like, boycotting it, but like, I don't know if the second part of Wicked, I heard that it's not as strong as the first part.
I honestly don't. See that.
There's some other stuff coming out. You should, Joey, you should go to the movies once a month and you should let me pick what you go see.
Why can't I live my life?
Because it's not how this works.
You can go to the movie. You go.
Okay. But let me pick your movie.
But I don't even enjoy movies in the same way that you do.
I think you should go back this weekend and go see Five Nights at Freddy's 2.
Oh, I'm not, I have no interest in seeing that.
Why not? You're not a FNAF guy?
FNAF.
No, I, I mean, I played the game. That's the game. They made a movie now?
You did play it.
They made two movies.
Spoiler, the fucking bears kill.
Well, there's a bear, there's a fox, there's a cupcake, there's a duck.
They all kill.
There's a, what else is there? There's an alligator.
Chicken.
Chicken. Well, I, I thought I said duck. I guess chica is technically a chicken.
It could be a duck.
Could be, yeah, I'm not really that sure.
I'm not really into movies like that.
Scary ones?
No, just in general. Like, I mean, I, I, I'm more into TV shows than I am movies.
Was that the first time you've had an alcoholic drink at a movie theater?
Yeah, I think so. When else am I gonna drink at a movie theater?
Never mind.
Oh, you sneak it in?
I'm gonna sneak in vodka?
Here's the big bad guy.
Yeah, like-
Here's the big bad guy. Instead of going and buying a $12 drink, you have to sneak in and be a criminal?
No, you still buy that as well.
Oh, so you're doing double take?
No, you just-
I, no, I've never had a, an alcoholic drink at a thing. I just had a beer because I was like, oh, I'm a little bitter. They had it. I was like, I'm not gonna order nothing. We're at Alamo Drafthouse. This is what you come for.
Here's what, here's the only way I would bring a drink into a movie theater. Is if it could be like the good old days of like high school when you just put vodka in a Coke bottle.
That's when you would do it? That's disgusting.
You know what I'm saying?
I got, yeah.
Like, there's something about like not knowing how to mix drinks that makes it taste better. Maybe it's just the nostalgia part of me, but like.
I think it's, it's been disgusting. I also never did that. Like, I never put vodka in a water bottle and just like drank a little bit of just raw vodka.
Dude, what?
It's gross.
The lines waiting to get into Remy Teen Night? That's what everyone did. They passed around a Poland Spring bottle filled with all the way alcohol.
I never did that, dude. I, I mean, we would go to clubs, but I would just get hammered at the, like, the pre. And then I'd be good. I'd be online freezing and kinda like. I'm warm cuz my heart rate's one twenty right now.
Not saying I did, but if I had a fake ID, I would have used it in those places.
I would have let that shit.
What, at the club?
I've never ordered a drink at a club, like when, at that time, when we were clubbing.
Like I never, I never did that.
Oh, I remember the first drink I ever ordered at a club.
It, I thought I was a fucking genius, by the way.
This should be good.
This is when, this drink in particular was huge.
I went to, it wasn't DNA at the time, it was Studio Thirty Four.
And it was, uh, tequila, Patron Silver Sprite, no ice, filled to the top.
That's what you said? And you were probably seventeen.
Yeah, yeah, it was.
You said Patron, you remember when you thought Patron was like the fucking, like best, most expensive thing in the world?
I'm gonna fucking blow your mind. Do you remember Nuvo?
Look up Nuvo. It was like the pink bottle. It was like after, like, there was like a falling out with Cristal. Cause remember Cristal was like the liquor that people talked about. And then they were like, Nuvo.
Oh shit.
Do you remember this shit?
What's the other one? Hypnotic?
Hypnotic, well Hypnotic is disgusting. It was never as big as Nuvo.
Fifteen percent alcohol.
It was, it was basically like.
That's wine, baby.
Yeah, it was like rosé in a bottle.
This looks like shampoo. Yeah, it does. Yeah, honestly, it looks delicious.
Yeah, I'll, when, when it's like bright colors like that.
I want it.
I'm in.
What would you do with this? I wouldn't get it, but I'm saying like, there was like, when we were growing up, there was always like the cool alcohol.
And it was always like, first it was Cristal, then it was Patron.
Do you know Hypnotic?
I do, it looks very cool.
Yeah, it does.
Hypnotic looks cool. Remember Hypnotic in Hennessy? Incredible Hulk.
Of course.
You know? But yeah, I thought I was the coolest kid in the world.
Meanwhile, I was over there being like, let me get a Red Bull vodka. I was just like, I'm sorry.
I don't mean to trigger you, but.
Hypnotic.
Red Bull and vodka, and this is not a diss to Red Bull or a diss to Mr. Vodka.
Not a good combination.
Oh, man. I think that it gets the job done. Might be the best. If you're exhausted and you get in there and you're like, alright, I still wanna go, but I'm really struggling. You do one, you're fucking sad.
Just do Coke, dude.
Wrong.
Just, just do Coke at that point. If you're going to the club tired. I mean, don't do drugs, but like.
That's literally the opposite of what you said. I also don't think I even have it in me to be able to do that.
Yeah, neither do I, hence why I haven't.
I mean, I've seen you snort Coca-Cola.
You can get stuff up there is my point.
I'm saying like, there's more to life than.
When I started saying that, your eyes lit up like this.
Cause I was like, what is he gonna say? I have, to be very clear.
I have never done any drug.
We are, and that's you being fucking honest.
I'm being honest, okay.
However.
If someone were to come to me and be like, I need to wake up, so I'm gonna have a Red Bull and vodka, I'd be like, dude, just do the, just do drugs.
But I don't do drugs either.
I know.
So I'm doing the next best thing.
I just, a Red Bull and vodka to me is so like, I just, I just think like, there's a very specific clientele that has it.
What does that mean?
Psychopaths.
I mean, I've done it and it works and you have it, that doesn't help me, but.
But you know, it gets, it gets the job done.
But yeah, I thought I was a fucking genius.
What was it again?
It was Patron Silver Sprite to the top, no ice. Cause I was like, oh, I'm basically getting a cup of Patron, at least a half cup of Patron.
You told them to fill it to the top?
Is that, are you even allowed to say that?
And you're right, it was warm, brother. It was warm and gross.
Oh yeah, why no I, oh, cause you want it all, yeah.
I thought I was getting more alcohol.
Okay, gotcha, yeah.
This was before like.
Fill it up to the top. That means that they put the same amount of alcohol and just filled it with Sprite, yeah.
That's so good.
I mean, it was a pretty shitty club that let, and kids underage all the time.
So like, they might've.
I don't even, I still to this day kinda have a difficult time with like, what drink do I order? At a place that doesn't have a menu, like if you're gonna get a cocktail. Cause I'm always just like margarita, but like, I don't, I don't want that all the time, cause it's like so Bernie. You know, like the lime is so like, it gives you a burn.
Uh, I was like Bernie, who's Bernie?
No, I just meant like, you know what I mean? It's so like, sometimes it's too crazy.
Next, you should have like, a like a rolodex of like, drinks you wanna try that are like, standard drinks. I'm not saying go in there and be like, let me get a, you know, a, a green screen double carpet.
Well, I, there was one time that I went to a, this was when I was probably twenty-four years old. And I wasn't really into cocktails at this time. And I went to this restaurant that when I walked in, it seemed pretty fancy. And I guess we were there a little early and they were like, you can go to the bar and order a drink and just wait for your table. I was like, alright, cool. So I go to the bar, but I'm like, looking around and everyone's like, drinking out of martini glasses, but I don't like martinis and, you know, kinda this thing. And I'm like, I don't know what to, cause the only drink that I knew was a Jack and Coke. And I was like, I can't order that here.
Yeah, it's not the right place.
Like I just, I just can't be like, yo, Jack and Coke, do it up, like fucking.
Yeah, that doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't work. A Jack and Coke, like, when you're young, you're like, yo, that's like a grown drink. And then you get grown and you're like, this is for children.
It was not, I, I'm with you. There is, I do believe there's a certain etiquette behind getting certain drinks, like, you can't get a Jack and Coke at like, a nice restaurant.
There's like an, there's like an in-between too, because there's places that like, I would order a cocktail, but I wouldn't order, cause like, there's a cocktail called The Last Word that I really like. But I wouldn't order that at every place. You would order that at a cocktail place. You know what I mean?
I, I mean, I think that there are certain cocktails that are like, classic, that everyone should know how to make, that you can order wherever you go.
Yeah, I guess, I don't know.
Like, I don't think it speaks about the like, the cocktail, it speaks more about the person, like, if they make it well.
It's less about the cock.
It's less about the cock, more about.
The tail.
The tail, you know what I'm saying? So like, you could get a, a Manhattan or you could get a, you know, Old Fashioned anyway.
Manhattan?
I'll be right with this kid, his listening age, they're ordering Manhattans.
Manhattans are delicious, Joey.
Old Fashioned's delish.
I like Old Fashioned's. Manhattan's.
What was that place that did, uh, Uncle, Uncle Jack's? Is that still there in Astoria?
I haven't been over in that way in a while. Did you see the Pomeroy? It was just like, come on in.
Did they?
You didn't see that?
I did see that, yeah.
They posted our clip and they were just like, "We got a cold one for you."
Very cool.
I haven't been to the Pomeroy in a minute. Um, oh fuck.
But like, they used to do an old fashioned, but they would smoke.
They would smoke the glass. So it was like a smoky old fashioned. If you smoke my drink, I'm telling you right now.
It'll smoke your cock.
No, no, no, no.
There was a place on Dipmars that's not there anymore, but on their menu, I went there one time. It was like a new restaurant at the time, and they had a bone marrow old fashioned.
Like, come on!
That's getting a little out there.
The bone was like cold, so it acted as kinda like the ice cube, and they put that shit in the cup, and then they did the whole thing. I was like, "That's pretty cool."
I'm not. When it's like food like that, like if they had like a chicken wing spritzer, you would get that?
I mean, one of, I had a great drink and it was a shishito pepper margarita.
Peppers are different.
Unbelievable.
Peppers are different. That's a vegetable. I'm talking like, bone marrow is like...
It's a meat, I guess.
Meat adjacent. It's meat adjacent.
It's a, it's a ligament.
Do they have like buffalo chicken alcohol?
I pray every day that they don't.
That sounds disgusting. It sounds like something you guys would drink.
I don't wanna look it up, 'cause I'll buy it.
Yeah. It does sound like something you would, you know, drink and throw up.
If they did, oh, hear me out.
I love Frank's Red Hot. Okay? What if they, because everyone's looking at, like, we're finally coming back around. Joey, I don't know if you know this. Back in the day, companies used to be a lot more playful with their branding and marketing.
Frank, it's, it's becoming, like, you just say the same things. Hear me out. What if? Insert company, more playful. Here's my horrible idea.
What if, as we're coming back around to that place where companies are becoming more playful, Frank's Red Hot partners with a vodka company? And they make a buffalo flavored vodka? And the challenge, because you love alcohol challenges, you love it. You love it.
I don't.
If the challenge is a buffalo flavored vodka mixed with a chaser of blue cheese.
Oh my god. That probably would offset the burn.
That's what I'm saying. This could be a billion dollar idea.
Now we're getting ahead of ourselves.
This could be an absolute billion, bro, a viral trend.
I mean, I'm pretty sure there's spicy, there is spicy, like, alcohol.
I know there's spicy alcohol, I've had spicy alcohol. I'm saying, though, like...
There's an easy way to stop this.
Seeing if it exists?
Oh, perfect, they can partner with Buffalo Trace.
So Frank's Red Hot partners with Buffalo Trace.
And they make the buffalo, it doesn't exist! Dude?
It's, it's fine.
Dude?
No, they, it doesn't exist.
You know what? Instead of all of these ideas, instead, why doesn't everyone who's listening just have a nice happy Thursday?
It's a happy Thursday!
That's a really good point.
Happy Thursday, guys. These are, and yes, we are getting into the sponsors right now with Happy Thursday.
Full commit.
But Happy Thursday, these are great, okay? These are spiked refreshers, okay? Because they're spiked, you gotta be 21, there's some alcohol in here. How much? 4.4%. That's a good little middle ground right there. Um, but they have 4.4% alcohol and they're bubble free. So it doesn't get you, you know, anything too crazy going on in here. It doesn't get you all bloated, um, and it tastes really good, it's refreshing. Um, but they're delicious, they go down easy. Obviously, you gotta be 21 to have it. But you know, this holiday season, if you're going over your friend's house, or you're going over, you know, for a family party, BYOB situation, how about you bring a pack of that Happy Thursday? And be like, "Here, try this grandma. I bet you didn't have this back in your day." You know what I mean? Get her some bubble-free stuff.
Get her off the bubbles, okay? She can't handle it at her age. They have strawberry, pineapple star fruit, raspberry dragon fruit, mango passion fruit. They're delicious. So if you're feeling thirsty this holiday season, have a Happy Thursday. Visit drinkhappythursday.com/basement, okay? That is drinkhappythursday.com/basement. Celebrate responsibly. Non-carbonated, naturally flavored with other natural flavors. 21+, contains alcohol, okay? So go get yourself a Happy Thursday and enjoy that. We also have FitBod. FitBod is a company that's gonna help you create a personalized workout routine based on your goals, fitness level, and your available equipment. A lot of people are, you know, they're all over the map as far as that goes. They don't have a lot of experience.
They don't have access to an actual gym. And their fitness goals are obviously very different. So everyone's fitness goals are very different. So based on the ones that you want, you will create a personalized workout routine for that. And even if you don't have any experience, that's okay, because it also could be a learning experience for you as well. They have over 1,000 demonstration videos. So they're gonna walk you through how to do all of the movements so that you can be in good shape and doing these things correctly and safely. They also track your muscle recovery, so you can avoid burnout and keep up, you know, your momentum. So right now, you can level up your workouts. Join FitBod today and get your personalized workout plan. That is FitBod. You get 25% off your subscription
or try the app for free for seven days at fitbod.me/basement. Okay, that is F-I-T-B-O-D.me/basement. So go to fitbod.me/basement to get started today.
And you know what? Whether you're drinking a Happy Thursday or you're using Fitbod, I wouldn't recommend those two things at the same time. But you know what I would recommend pairing either of those with? Basement Yard Patreon, folks. Go to patreon.com/thebasementyard and take a look. Gander around. Take a peek underneath the skirt of our studio and you'll find that there's more of the Basement Yard there. Okay, then you could find that this first tier, you sign up for that first tier, you get these weekly episodes, seven whole days in advance, ahead of schedule. Okay, that's kinda nice because a lot of people like to post clips ahead of schedule and you could be in it on the joke. You know exactly what we're talking about. That second tier, well, that's where you get exclusive episodes, every single Friday. So you'll get more of us twice a week. Who doesn't like that? Huh?
So go check it out. Patreon.com/thebasementyard. And if you want to sign up, you can also give this as a gift during the holiday season if you so choose to play around. And use the URL. Go to Patreon.com/thebasementyard, use it in a web browser, you know, Encarta, MS, MSN, I don't know, whatever one you want to use. Go check it out and you will be able to save yourself a couple bucks. If you use the smart app and you sign up that way, they're gonna ask for a couple extra bucks because they gotta pay their technology overlords. So go to a web browser, type in Patreon.com/thebasementyard and check out if you want to join us. We thank you guys for helping us continue to break records. Move, move, move in the right direction, man. That's what I'm talking about, you know, move
that way. I don't want to do the hand gesture because it's, it's close. So go check it out. Patreon.com/thebasementyard. Thank you. What were we talking about right before we did this? Oh, my incredible billion dollar idea. You don't think that has any merit?
A buffalo.
A buffalo flavored alcohol.
Paired with a shot of blue cheese.
I mean, it's gimmicky. I think that it could catch on for that, but.
Gimmicks make.
It's not billions now.
Gimmicks make money.
Not all of them.
Quick money, maybe. Did you see the, the trend on TikTok, the Johnny Whoop thing? Did you see that or no?
Johnny Whoop?
Yeah, Johnny Whoop.
I don't know who's Johnny Whoop.
It kinda looks like this, like. Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop.
Oh yeah.
Have you seen that?
No, but I know it.
You know it?
Yeah, I, but like, it's on TikTok now?
Yeah, it's on TikTok.
I remember that from like our childhood, like my sister used to Johnny whoop. I've never been whooped by Johnny.
Have you ever done it? Like you know how to do it?
Did you not just hear what exactly I just said?
I've That's because you keep talking about your hat. Yeah, Jesus Christ. For one second, put the hat down.
I've never Johnny whooped.
You've never Johnny whooped?
What is it?
So, it's like, you just gotta do this, and you're doing it right.
Should we do it?
Yeah, we're gonna do it.
Do what?
So you just gotta do this. I'll do it first, then you do it. That's all you gotta do. Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny, and that's it.
Uh, something seems suspicious about this.
That's it.
Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny.
Is that it?
Yeah, yeah, you got it.
I'm gonna do it. Something feels off.
No, you didn't do it right.
Yes, I did.
No, you didn't, no, you didn't do it right.
You didn't.
Not even close.
Does it matter? Do I have to start at the pinky?
Well, that would be helpful, yeah.
I mean, that's, yeah. Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny.
No. You guys are fucking with me at this point.
I, I, you wanna do it?
No, no, no. Wait, what?
Show him again.
Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny. How did he do anything different than I did?
He got it right.
This, no, this is one of these fucking, you're just fucking with me for the sake of it.
No. Yep. You just gotta listen.
To what?
Well, don't, not only listen, but also Yeah, also see, you know?
See.
Yeah. Alright. Go.
Johnny whoop.
Johnny fucking whoop.
Well, that's at this point, I did it twice the exact way that you both did it.
It was not the exact.
Alright, so tell me, tell me what the fuck I'm doing wrong, because this is starting to piss me off.
You got it, one more time, I'll do it, I'll do it.
No, no, no, no, don't, don't show me again, I'm not an idiot! And enough for your hat!
It does help if you wash them.
Alright. Johnny whoop, nope, sorry, I messed that up.
See?
I messed it up. Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny.
You added an extra whoop in there, he's, now he's fucking with me!
Yeah, he did.
Too many whoops. I tried to go fast, but there was too many whoops. That wasn't the important part, the whoops aren't even important.
Well, you know that's wrong.
I don't know! I maybe added an extra syllable, but I think that was good.
Gee, I mean...
No. Unfortunately, no.
Alright, if you do it again, I swear to god I'm launching this Happy Thursday at your head.
I'm just saying, so you gotta go through it all and back.
And then an extra Johnny on the top of the John.
And then, and then, and then that's how you would finish.
I'm not, hold on a sec. What am I doing at the end there?
You go through them all.
Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, and you're going back, and then you land on Johnny, and that's how you would finish.
So, so say it, so, so, hold on.
Do it, do it, do it!
You got it, you got it.
No, no, no! No! Do it, you bitch!
No!
You got it. No, nice try!
Nice try, I see what you're doing.
Oh, I thought you were in and now I think you're out.
Oh, I don't think you know it, actually.
Oh, wait.
Please do it, what do you think?
You got it.
Yep.
Johnny whoop. Johnny whoop. Johnny whoop. Johnny.
Guys, I'm not kidding.
When you fit, when you finish, Johnny whoop, that's how you finish.
I know what you're trying to get me to say, and I'm not fucking buying into this.
What are you talking about? Frankie.
Alright, I'll play around. You want me to finish on Johnny?
Who's asking you to do that?
So, when you, when you finish, when you end?
Yeah, when I, when I finish, when I finish on Johnny. It has nothing to do with jizz income!
When you complete this riddle, when you come back and you land on Johnny, this is how you finish.
Now, now do it.
I fucking hate this so much.
Should we just tell him?
Sure, I guess so. Well, he should try one more time, probably.
One more time?
Just one more time, just one more time. Alright, so, so you, you, you watched, but you watched.
Yes.
You watched the whole thing?
I watched everything.
How do you finish?
Nice try.
No, no, no, I'm trying to help you.
How do you complete it?
I'm trying to save time. I, I'm not saying it. I, I complete-
It's not about gay!
Complete the riddle on-
Johnny.
And then this is how you finish?
This is how?
It's not gay. I know!
Wait, is it though?
It isn't gay, I swear.
Just do the finish part. Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop, Johnny whoop. Johnny, this is how you finish.
Guys, I'm gonna fucking flip this table, I swear to god.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna do the last part so slow.
Johnny, wait, is Johnny on top?
Johnny's on top.
Okay. Whoop, Johnny.
I fucking did that. Johnny.
Who's this whoop? That's Johnny.
Frankie.
Hey!
I'm-
Johnny!
Johnny. You fold your arms! You're gonna fold your arms after!
It was his idea!
I knew Johnny Whoop, you actually have to know Johnny, I said, "I know Johnny Whoop", he goes, "You think Frank does?", I'm like, "I don't know."
This is how you finish, we did it every time.
That's true.
Should we go to the ads or something, you wanna take some time, or?
Yeah, I, yeah.
But, but, but big him.
Small me.
I fucking hate those things so much. We did that video for Santa Gato Studios where we did like the bar tricks. Where it's just like, "I'm bringing, um, a pen", and I wanted to bash my head through the wall. Not as a bit, not as like, "Let me spruce this up and make this funny", I'm not kidding, if I lived the rest of my life, and you asked me to do one of those things, or eat a spoon of fucking mustard, I think I found something I hate more than mustard.
Wow, wow. That means we gotta do more of them.
No! No, no, I won't be doing either of them, let's make that abundantly clear. That sucks. That is so sucky. Johnny Whoop, I did it, fuck you, you smug bastard. And whoever the hell made this up...
Well, him, me, not me, me small.
I did also, I did also think it was a gay thing, if I'm being really honest.
Yeah, it wasn't like Johnny-
Cause you were just like, "This is how you finish", and then my response would be like, "So I finish on Johnny?", and he was like, "Whoa!", that's what I thought it was. One of those schoolyard got you gay things, you know?
Got you gay!
That's what I thought it was.
Dead to rights gay!
Dead to rights dick.
Dick to rights.
Yeah, we've exercised that a little bit too much.
Something I saw.
God, I hate those things so much.
There's that other one that you did one time where it's just like...
Whoop.
Oh, it's like finger stuff?
Well, Joe, you have done finger stuff before on camera.
There was like, yeah, there's, there's one, I've seen, there was this one guy that was like, here's how to test your brain. And I would do them and be like, yo, I'm, I'm literally, my shit is not working correctly.
Well, that's why I like to, like, test my discipline and learn Yakko's world from the Animaniacs, to really test how disciplined I am.
That's how.
I mean, that's, it's cool that you choose to do that, because I really do think that's like, a unique experience. Like, I don't think anyone else is testing their discipline in that way.
Wow, wait a sec. You know what? You kinda gave me something there.
So I mean, I'm serious.
I am one of one.
Like, I did that thing, no one else has done that but me. Except maybe the voice actor that did it for the show.
I'm sure people have memorized that before, but not for the intention that you are.
One of one.
You kinda made me feel better about myself there.
I wasn't trying to put you down. Um.
Yeah. I, I'm, yeah, yeah, one, one of one. End the show.
Also, this? What, you fucking Mary Kate and Ashley on a box set of a VHS cover? Who does this still? I know we've done it.
Fold their arms?
I know we've done it in pictures a lot.
Human beings?
Yeah, but like, I, as like a gotcha thing.
I mean.
You know? It was like a, hmm, seems like I've got you cornered.
Very anime.
Very, not just anime, but like, it's like a 80's movie school bully, you know what I mean? It's like, whoa, you have lunch money, guess who's hungry?
I love the give me your lunch money thing, and in the movies, it was like, they would hold them upside down and shake it out of their pockets.
I don't know what pants these kids were wearing, you could hold me upside down and shakes me for hours, nothing's coming out of my pockets.
That's what I mean. Like, what, what are we talking about here?
Did you guys have lunch money?
Yeah. Growing up, yeah, when we were like, younger.
Yeah, I, I don't, but like, it wasn't like a, they gave me cash. Like, it was like an envelope that we like gave our teacher. And the teacher would give it, like, for whoever needed it.
Yeah, I mean, now, look, thinking back, like, I don't remember.
I mean, we definitely had cash when it was Pretzel Day.
Well, yeah, that, but we, did we give? We didn't pay cash?
I didn't, so my.
Oh, you'd have to pay ahead of time.
Um, I asked my mom about this recently, because I was like, I never remember paying, and she's like, it, we paid, but I would, because she was always close with all the schoolteachers and all the schools.
Oh, nepotism.
Sure, she would pay them directly, like, she would go and like, give it, like, oh, this is for Frankie today.
I thought that, like, there would be these payments, like, I vaguely remember handing an envelope of money, and then they would like, mark your name, so that they knew, like, you would go on that line or something.
Why do, why, and, you know, like, they even still do this a little bit to kids. Why give kids that much responsibility with something? Like, we've had to for, like, our kid's school, like, they had the holiday shops around this time of the year.
Where, you know, it's like, you know, you could, you know, buy something for your whole family, and it's like, a scholastic book fair amount of stuff. But like, it's like, send your kids in with cash, like, why haven't these schools, like, set up something where it's like, I can, like, load it on to my kid's account, and they use it that way?
Yeah, I don't know. But, I mean, I think, also, it was like an income thing, because I think some people got free lunch.
Yes, correct, it was. But, I'm saying, like, giving your seven-year-old a fucking envelope of money and be like, go give this to your teacher.
Yeah, I don't know.
I'd be like, no. I think that's why my mom didn't let me, because I'd just take it and go to sip, surf, and play.
Yeah. Yeah, I think it was just like,
I think that's what it was, it's like an envelope you hand it to your teacher, and she marks your name, and then you're good. But there were some children that I guess their families were below a certain amount of income, so they got free lunch. But, um.
You know, I think my, well, my mom didn't work in the school at that time, but she worked in a school. And my dad was a fireman, so.
Did you have to pay?
Didn't get no free lunch.
Well, we know someone didn't have to pay. Fucking yellow was rolling in it.
Definitely not. He was paying double over there probably.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They made him pay for the whole class.
He's a, he brought in filet mignon.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Play Dean Martin, give me filet mignon. Yeah, yeah. I need my espresso. He's a six-year-old with his fucking vodka, uh, Red Bull and having a lobster tail at lunch. He's just fucking, everyone's eating rectangle pizza.
And enough, we know you had that hat in elementary school too. Enough with the hat, dude.
Yeah, he's like, I used to, at lunch at the table, I would eat chicken piccata.
Wait, so, I know we're, we got completely off track. Back to you going to the movies. You had a good time at the movies?
Would you go back to the movies?
If I was compelled to watch a movie, yeah.
Has there been nothing that has come out where it's just like, I should go see that in the theater?
I think I'm just spoiled by the way that we consume now, like, it'll, it'll, like, these things will be available at, in my living room. In a couple of months.
Yeah, that doesn't.
But like for me with movies, it's like if I see a movie and I'm like, oh, I want to see that, that, the time that that lasts is probably much shorter than it lasts for you. Cause if it did last longer of like, no, I really want to see that movie, then I would be compelled to go.
Dude, the last week has been trying because we haven't finished Stranger Things. And I was just like, let's watch them all right now. Let's do it all, which I know we can't because of just like, they're very long episodes. But like, Becca's just like, we'll watch an episode tonight and then we'll wait a couple of days. And then we'll watch, which we haven't done this time, but like, she's much more, I'm like, I'm like the binge now model.
I'm like that too, once I get started. Like, I'm not, I, I don't like taking days off. Like, if, especially if we're sitting here and we're not really doing anything, like, why are we gonna watch anything but the show we decided to watch?
So I'm kinda like that too. Um, Nicole's like.
She can do like two, but then it's like, uh.
Are you guys into Stranger Things?
She's never watched any of it. I've, I've watched it, I just haven't watched the new season.
Just watch it.
And it's tough to be like, I'm gonna put on this fu- like, imagine having no context. I'm like, oh, there's these kids and there's aliens. It's like, it's hard to explain.
Technically not aliens.
I mean, we, so we just had, we just showed Miles. So that's why we waited as long, cause he had to finish season four before we started watching season five. And he's like, I got like three episodes left. And I was like, get in your room.
I'll do your homework.
And go watch the show. And he was just like, no, I wanna enjoy it.
You're, you're sick tomorrow. Because you're gonna be home wa- watching fucking Stranger Things.
Yo, I'm not kidding. Last, I think it was Monday, he came home and we hadn't started watching it yet. And on the way home, I called Becca and I was just like, is Miles home from school? And she's like, no. I was like, the minute he walks in, take his backpack, send him to his room to watch Stranger Things. I'm not playing around, dude.
I, when I, like, let's watch it.
It's getting increasingly tougher not to, like, already parts of Stranger Things were spoiled for me, so.
If you say anything, either of you, cause I haven't finished this batch of episodes yet. That gun that I brought up a couple of episodes ago, I'll use it to shoot the hat off his head.
Can't have that.
Hmm.
Not that hat. Not that one.
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Every time I look over at you, I just see Nicolas Cage.
I know, he's just sitting on his butt.
And a raccoon.
Ugh! That's a cute raccoon. I don't wanna...
I've, I'm in a feud, I'm currently in a feud with a raccoon in my house.
You have raccoons?
We...
They eat your garbage?
Dude, so I went out there the other night to throw out garbage and there it was, just on my garbage can.
It was standing on my recycling, lifted it up and was fucking...
Isn't that so cute how they have hands and they can just do stuff that we can do?
Not cute dude, cuz it was a mess. There was garbage everywhere. I found pieces of ham and turkey all over the place.
I'm surprised you let that go to waste.
I mean, we ate most of it. It was, it was, it was pieces that like were scraps.
Yeah, I didn't think it was a full hunk of ham out there.
Well, I was fucking, and then, we got, we went to get our tree the other night, and I got home, as I pull up, guess who's in the garbage can?
Elvis Presley.
Sure. I got out of the car and I literally like, and I was like, everyone get out that side of the car, cuz I didn't want this thing to attack my family.
Do they attack?
They can.
They got teeth, they got hands, as you said, they got, they got claws.
You know?
I mean, unfortunately you can't trust them right now, but we, I feel like we've gotten to a, a good place as far as, um, rabies.
Well...
I'm serious.
What do you mean? Like, me specifically has gotten to a good place, or like the world?
No, like the, well, I can't speak for the world, but the US.
Yeah, we, rabies, we have all but eradicated its effects on humans if you act swift.
Once we officially be like, yo, it's eradicated, I'm gonna be like, alright, I'm gonna start hugging some fucking raccoons then.
Um, I mean, let's be very clear about something.
You can do that.
Yeah, it's a risk.
You can't, but like, you could also go hug a raccoon, they scratch you, they bite you, you just go right to the hospital and you should be good.
Yeah, I don't wanna, I don't like going to hospitals.
I mean, a lot of urgent care clinics in the northeast carry it because ra- rabies is way more prevalent over here. As you could tell, I am the utmost fucking expert on rabies vaccine availability.
I had to go to the fucking, when we were in...
When we were in Phoenix, I had to go to the hospital there to get my rabies vaccine.
Did it hurt? Did it hurt?
The first one wasn't fucking cool.
Can you feel it go in ya?
Like, oh, I'm, I'm now anti-rabied.
I like to imagine that, I wish, cuz like I've gotten IVs before, like whatever, but like...
I wish I could just feel it going everywhere. Like a shield.
Oh, it's killing everything.
Oh, like you leave there and you feel stronger or something?
I feel like we did talk about this, but it. I can't remember, but I just saw a video online about it, but. When I got an IV and there were some bubbles and I'm like watching the bubbles in the thing and I'm like, am I gonna die?
Oh, yeah, there was a movie I saw that was like if you pump. Air, if air gets in the person's bloodstream or something, their heart will explode.
It's definitely not good, but I, I, uh. I also, I saw it coming from the bag and I was just like, oh, God. And it wasn't big. It was just like these two bubbles.
Oh, but if it's an IV, the air doesn't get into you.
Oh, no, it does.
In an IV?
Cause the way the IVs are set up, like the air won't travel through.
At least in my experience.
Well, there's like these little bubbles. Cause they also have to inject these things into the bag.
Gotcha, gotcha. Okay, yes.
So a little bit of air gets in there.
When the saline solution goes in, it makes a little frothiness.
No, no, no. So like the bag is the bag and there's no air in that. But there's a part of the bag that you can inject things into. And in this case, it was like vitamin B and like some other shit.
Uh, and I guess during that, maybe that causes some sort of whatever, but I'm watching the bubble and I'm like, oh, God. And then it goes into my arm and I'm just like.
Yeah, um. What's that like, what's that thing with like bubbles, you know, like the bubbles in the thing, like it's dangerous? And he's like, oh. Yeah, I was like, yeah, cause I just saw it to go in.
Probably should've said something before you saw him go in.
Yeah, I, I, I, I didn't think that was polite. To, yeah, I thought my life was in danger and I thought it was impolite.
Yeah, let me, uh, yeah.
But he explained, like the, the dude who was doing it, he explained that like, it's okay if like little bubbles, cause your body can handle that. He's like, this would have to be like a lot of air. And then that gets in like that would be a huge issue.
Like if someone like put one of those old timey like fire starters, you know which one I'm talking about?
You know what I'm talking about.
The accordion ones?
Yeah, the accordion looking one that
Oh!
Has like the tip of an umbrella.
Oof!
If they put that in you and just started going off, I could see that being a problem.
I mean, of course that, but they, but he was like, it would, he's like, these bubbles, these little bubbles are not a big deal. Even if they like attach and made one little bubble like that, then like, that's not really a big deal. Like your body can kind of filter that out, but, um, or your lungs or whatever, I don't know. But, he's like, if they, if, he's like, I, he's, I primed the line, meaning that the fluid goes through it first to get all the air out there and then you kind of clip it so that, you know, whatever. But if you don't do that and like, a decent amount of the line is air and that gets in you, now you're fucked. So it kind of eased my anxiety about that because...
Don't tell me this, because now I'm gonna be very bubble observant next time I go get like...
Well, the mini bubbles are fine, it's supposed to ease, like, those are okay.
Death by bubble would be so, so rough.
But you know what I thought about? I'm like, there's a lot of people on the street that are addicts who, uh...
Oh, you're making this, you're making this serious.
No, no, they, but they inject themselves. I'm like, if a bubble would, would kill someone like that, you would think that would happen more often, like, and that would be the reason.
Sure.
So I, I guess when he was saying that, it kind of like, made sense, because that was always something I thought about. Because I always thought a bubble in the line would be a big deal.
I don't know why, I obviously know about like, you know, addicts using needles and stuff on the street and stuff. The first time I saw an actual syringe on the street, I like ran.
What, where?
I was, uh, by Astoria Park, on the strip.
You ran in the opposite direction?
Yeah, I was like, oh, like, like it was gonna like grow legs and chase me.
It like, I don't know why, but it's been like such a spoken of like vilified situation of like, needles, if you see a needle, that I was just like, I just need to get as far away from this thing as I can.
That's so funny.
And I fucking sprinted, brother.
Do you want to hear a funny story that like is similar to that, like how it doesn't really make sense why you would run away? Keith one time was hammered and got a sandwich and was walking home, I believe it was my like 23rd birthday or something, and he's walking home from the bar by himself and he heard the cops.
They were doing something else. He heard the cops and just got so scared and, and for some reason ditched his sandwich and then ran home.
If anything, the ditching of the sandwich ma- that's littering.
And I was like, what did you thi- like, did you think that they were after you and your sandwich?
They could have been.
And he's like, I ditched the sandwich and I got home.
No, but it-
Hammer telling us.
It was a thing growing up in Astoria that like, if you saw the cops, it was like, uh-oh, they're here. Like, what are we doing? You know, not that we were, well, there were times where we were doing stuff, we could have gotten in trouble for it, but like, I remember, I remember that same sentiment. Just like, walking down the street and the cops rolled by and I'm just like, oh, fuck.
They're after me.
Yeah, like, what did I do now? Fully knowing I did nothing.
There was also not a lot of cops in our neighborhood growing up.
Yeah, I feel like they, and if they cared about anything, it wasn't us.
You know, like, they were a hundred percent like, more busy with other people or other things.
Were you there when they came up to us in the park? I don't know if you were there. I know Josh was there. But, this is when Josh, Josh used to be mad small dude. Like, he was like, tiny. And, we were at the park and we were at this, this was probably around the age that you would be like drinking in the park or doing something, but we weren't doing that. And the cops just pulled up, like a DT pulled up in like a unmarked car and then just like came right into the park, like, would have caught us if we had shit on us. And just like came up to start shining a light and be like, what are you guys doing? And then, I'll never forget, we're there and the guy flashes a light towards Josh, he goes, what are you, ten? And he was like eighteen years old.
Yeah, no, that same thing happened at the lake. Do you remember that?
What are you fucking, ten?
Do you remember the same thing happened at the lake where they saw Josh and they were just like, oh, you're twelve? You know, he did look very small for his age.
Now, now he's huge and kick our heads off, so.
He's pretty big, but also I could still kick his ass. I will do anything, Josh, for you to take two rounds with Frank in the gym. Let's be very clear. Josh would kill me, revive me, and then kill me again.
I can't wait, dude. He's gonna hit me up and be like, yeah, we should get a video.
Yeah. He said that to us before, like, yo, like, standing out of studio sparring. Just us sparring Josh.
He would take that very seriously. And he'd win.
What about you two at the same time?
Nah, we getting him.
You getting him?
Two people at the same time.
In what kind of fight? It's a goo- it's a good question.
Well, cause he does all kicks.
No, he, no, he punches.
He strikes?
Alright, so one of us-
He does Muay Thai.
I, I, I thought Muay Thai was kicking.
There is kicking. There's also punching.
Plus punching?
If Frank like tackles him, and like if we both like just tackle him, you know what I mean? Get our paws on him.
You're right. I think I can, I can withstand like two or three punches. And I think you can withstand two or three punches.
Yeah, maybe.
If they're not in certain areas, you know, like if it, if it was just like bang here.
In my nose, I'd be like, "Oh."
I think that we could get and corner him and get him down together as a unit before, like, two on one. I mean, we're two grown men.
Yeah, no, it's hard, it's hard.
It wa- the best athlete in the world would have a difficult time with that.
I really wonder what he's thinking while he's editing this.
He's editing this like, "These fucking-
There's no fucking way. It's like, "You fucking ding ding ding, I kick Frank's head off."
Here's what I fully expect, is that we're gonna get a text going through how he would whoop our ass.
He's gonna give me a fucking right cross, knock my fucking mouthpiece out.
Well, he'd probably, he'd probably go for my knee first because I had my knee surgery 15 years ago.
I don't think that he has a scouting report on you.
He knows that. We've known the kid forever. We've known him for like 20 years. He probably knows our weaknesses. He's probably mapping this out right now. And I would say though, he should be more worried about me than you. No, no offense.
I'm just, I think I'm in a bigger weight class than him. So I just have more-
Bro, do you know how much Josh weighs?
The kid looks-
I know what he looks like.
I would say he weighs 170.
I think he probably does.
Yeah, and it's all muscle.
But it's not, he doesn't look like that.
He looks like-
He might be less, but he's big.
Well, because he's-
Why are we doing this?
He's still, well, it's because you could be as muscular as you want and go to as much Muay Thai as you want. He's still four foot six.
I mean, I don't know that, now you're four foot six? Now we're gonna have to do the video.
Now, he's still-
Now we're gonna have to do the video, dude. Josh, we're gonna rent out a gym, we're gonna see what happens.
He's gonna text me, he's like, "I have to defend my family's honor."
Um, yeah, I can't really imagine that.
We'll be alright.
Well, how do we get from raccoons to that?
Do you think you and I tag team could beat up Ant?
Yeah, alright, good, as long as you know.
We're, we're saying that we could beat up Josh.
Wow.
What do you think, he's gonna beat Josh up?
You don't think so?
I'm not beating Josh up.
You sure about that?
Josh trains to fight!
So I'll just start grabbing.
What's that? Was that tits, tits or balls?
No, it was both of you.
Oh, my artnax?
No, by the balls.
What were you grabbing that you were going like?
No, it was the balls, it was the balls.
Oh, you're a dirty fighter?
Oh, there's two of you. You're not, you're not-
I just meant in general, like are you a dirty fighter? They all grab your fucking ball, I don't give a shit.
Sure or yes, brother?
Don't try it.
Sure or yes, for once, talk about something opposite that, that has nothing to do with your hat.
It depends. It depends what, what they're doing.
But I'll, I'll grab your balls.
Who's they?
Both of you.
Like your opponent?
I'll grab your balls.
I mean, if so, if we don't go for balls, you're not going for balls?
Oh my god.
It really depends-
No, there's two of you. I'm going for balls. You have no chance. I'm going for rifle balls.
How do I defend my balls? Jeans? Jeans.
No, you can get, you can, you can do-
Be tougher though.
Also, if I'm like, spread?
If anything, if anything, sweatpants, you're better off. Baggy or sweatpants?
How's that make sense?
Your shit will get lost in the cloth.
Am I insane? Jeans are like tougher to like get through.
The denim material, sure. But I'm saying like, if you wear like really baggy like JNCO jeans or something.
I can go right up to your balls, right?
No, there's a lot of cloth in between them.
Okay. You wear sweatpants, I'll wear jeans.
I'll, I'll wear, I'll wear leggings.
That's actually worth-
Have you ever worn leggings?
No, I don't think so.
I mean even, nah, you could wear leggings. You've never worn like leggings for-
Thank you for giving me-
No, no, no, I meant like, like, uh, like I don't mean like women's leggings.
Yeah, like, like long johns or, or like, for like football or something.
Long johns. Mormons? What are we doing?
I don't know, I'm just saying, like, or like for like football or something.
Do you know Mormons wear like a full one-piece long john, like Tibet? The, the, the like, the top of the, like as Mormon as you can get? Look that up, Mormon bedtime. Mormon bedtime clothes.
Mormon bedtime clothes.
Mormon bedtime clothes. Um, I forgot what it's called, but it's like a thing and it, and it's not like-
Does it have the ass flap?
It may. It's not like a bedtime garments. That's probably a bad way to say what I wanted to say. But there's like a full, yeah, like that.
Like this?
Yeah. Yeah, it's like a whole thing.
Come on dude.
Yeah. And I'm not sure why, but I this, I sweat too much. I can't, I can't go full.
I mean, I could sleep in that, but like, the fact that I would have to would upset me.
I'll say this, it's kinda crazy that it's white. We're talking about stains. We don't know what's going on.
Well.
I'm Dexter Morgan. I've been killing killers for half my life. It gets to you.
You're having a midlife crisis.
I'm not ready for that.
Things are gonna get messy, but if I can't believe in myself, I can't believe in anything.
Let's unpack that a little bit. What do you mean stains of what? What are you doing in your sleep that you're staining your clothes?
Dude, I don't know. You're fucking sweating and like your butt and your balls and like, I don't know.
You're, are you and I on the same page here?
I feel like this would be more a concern for you.
For me?
For him.
Why? Yeah, I mean, I've spoken, you guys talk about sleeping naked all the time. And I'm like, no, like that's crazy.
But you're not worried about sweating in that thing and just making it look like, eh?
You sweat more than I do, so sweating is not an issue for me.
Not at night.
Are you not a sweaty boy?
No, not really.
Frank doesn't really sweat.
I don't really sweat.
You're Pitt's sweat though. Like sometimes you got a white tee that like the corner is like.
That was the deodorant. That was the deodorant. I'm telling you right now, there was a deodorant that I was using and I'm not gonna name the name of the company.
But I, I'm not kidding, they ruined several shirts because it like turned my underarms black.
I'm serious, dude, I have shirt, you've seen them.
I've seen, I'm like, yo, someone take a shit in your armpit?
Yeah, and, and that was fully the deodorant because I've, I've used other deodorant and that doesn't happen.
So even if that is true, we don't know alleged, but even if that's true. You putting the shirt back on is, that counts?
Yeah, I have detachment issues. I'm sure, that's fair.
You have detachment issues even with white t-shirts that have shit armpits?
Yeah, because I remember where and when I got those shirts.
A pack of white tees?
Yes. Some of them I don't.
Do you really not, like, I know that, like, you don't, like, for things, but like. What's, what's like a? A ridiculous thing that you, like, that you can acknowledge is ridiculous, but you don't throw those things out?
Uh, I mean, I, I have boxers from when I was in like, middle school.
Yeah, I know that, but like, is there like, a weird item?
I mean, I have shirts, you know, that I, that, that no longer fit me. You know, at a point in time, I was a medium.
What the hell was that? I have, you know, but they're like, nice shirts still, that I'm like, I'm just gonna keep this. And I don't do the whole like, if I go to be a medium again, but just like, I'm not getting rid of this.
Cause, cause if those threads could talk, they'd tell the story of my life.
They can't.
I know, but if they could.
But what does that mean? What does that count towards?
I think that there's-
Wait, so, hold on. I, I, this is interesting to me, honestly.
A shirt, a shirt that you have that's a medium, and it's not a particularly like, it's a, it's a blue shirt.
It's a nice shirt. I got some nice shirts.
No, no, I'm saying just like, a shirt though, that's like a blue shirt.
There's like, nothing crazy about it.
Hanes, blue shirt.
You wouldn't throw it out, even if though it doesn't fit you, there's not this like, pattern on it, that's like, whoa, it's just that, it's your shirt.
And you won't throw that out?
So you haven't thrown out a shirt, ever?
No, of course I have. There are some shirts I make exceptions, and if I throw a shirt out-
What, what?
That is non-donatable, like, it's like, no one's gonna take this, I rip it like Hulk Hogan.
Um, also, when I say throw out clothes, I mean donate.
I donate most of the clothes that I, that I get rid of.
I donate every single piece of clothing.
Well, no, there are certain ones that you like, shouldn't.
Do you know I donated that Gucci shirt?
Yes, you told me that, and good for whoever got that.
Whoever got this-
I'll, I'll donate literally anything.
I will too, but like, a white, like, raggedy t-shirt that has fucking pit stains and shit like that, I'm not donating that.
Well, yeah.
I'm, I'm tearing it like I'm Hulk Hogan.
Yes, I, I think that's a great way to kind of go about that. But what separates a shirt, so it's only a shirt that's like- Why are you willing to part with some and not the other?
Did I wear it for something specific? Like, does there something about it that I can remember? You know, like, for instance, I have an old pair of, like, Nikes. But they're like, like, I use them for like mowing the lawn and stuff like that. And I recently got a new pair of shoes. And I went to go throw these out and I looked at the shoes and there is a little paint stain on it. And it was from when I painted Ruby's first nursery. And I was like, oh, well, now I have to keep these forever. Cause it ties it back to something.
If that wasn't there, yes, all the times I wore it, all the times I did this and da, da, da, da, da.
It would still be meaningful. But now that I see the thing and it brings it back to a specific, I'm like, oh, well, now these are mine forever.
Okay, which I understand. Let's talk about the potential situation of you throw it out anyway.
Like, I don't want to say that someone did that because I can see how you'd be upset by that. But like, what happens if you do throw them out? If you're like, you know, I'm just gonna throw them out, they're shoes. And like, I get it, there's like an attachment to the paint, cool, whatever. But you kind of let them go. Like, what is that, how does that make you?
I think that there just, there's a time where you just feel like it's time to let them go. And you let them go. I mean, eventually, in theory, like, they will forever be energy in the universe. And that doesn't take that from that. Because let's say I throw out a pair of shoes. Let's say they're donated to somebody else. Somebody else has them. Eventually, through time, they'll get melted or burnt down through, you know, a landfill or something. That energy goes out into the air and it's forever in the universe, in our ever-expanding universe. So, there is a time where I can allow it to continue its process into being a part of it around us.
Or, I could light it on fire myself and I can inhale the fumes. I'm not saying I'm doing that because that might not necessarily be good for me. But it's something I could do.
It is.
Inhaling shoe fumes?
Yeah, no. I wouldn't, I wouldn't suggest you do that.
I haven't and won't.
So what is the, so what is?
The reason why, because this, this thing that you just said, where you give something away, or you donate it, it becomes garbage, it gets melted, the energy is still, you talk about the energy, whatever. Why do you need all of that in your, on your personal, if, if that's something that you believe?
I don't need all of it, I don't.
I mean, you, you keep a lot.
I keep a lot, not all of it. There are stuff, like, literally, like, as time passes, I get rid of other stuff. I just did it when, when we moved to our new house, like, I took the time to go through my old stuff. And literally, like, I was, alright, it's time for this to go. Alright, it's time for this to go, it's time for this to go.
Is it a time thing?
It is. I think it is a time thing, and it's also a relevance thing. Like, I'm probably way more inclined to get rid of something about, like, from my own personal life than, like, from, like, that has to do with, like, the kids and Becca. You know, because, like, that is more relevant and meaningful now, like, compared to a fucking, you know, a empty beer bottle I had for my 21st birthday.
Because that thing, that, it's just one of those things I find, like, if I'm going to be sentimental about this stuff, I'd rather now be about-
You're less sentimental about yourself.
Yes. I'm more sentimental now about the family that I have, and like, stuff like that. So, like, stuff that I have of my own, I'll be like, oh yeah, okay.
But it's a time thing. It's a time and relevance thing.
That's interesting.
You're just throw it out. You just get rid of it.
No, I don't, I don't, it's not like that. I mean, I think that the way my mind works is if I found these shoes, and it was like, there was a piece of paint on there from a thing. To me, there's not enough of an attachment to the overall, like, there has to be something else. Like, I don't need every single thing that reminds me of that to
exist in my, I, I, like, I would want something, of course.
Yeah, I, I mean, it's just, I, I think it's obviously subjective person to person, like, in that moment.
If paint got on six things, would you keep all of them?
Probably not.
You would pick one?
I would say, yeah. But, um, cause as you're like, alright, the paint splatter.
Yeah, because, because.
One paint splatter. Because the one paint splatter puts me, it reminds me of everything included in that, you know what I mean?
So like.
Did you throw out the brushes? That's a big pain.
No, I still got the brushes.
I cleaned them out, so they're still the brushes that I use to paint all the kids' rooms.
So eventually I'll be like, this is the brush.
And your kids are gonna go, dad, please.
Get rid of it.
We do not do that.
I'm like afraid, as an example, here's an example.
My god, you're gonna have a museum of your own life in your house.
Yeah. I mean, is that not what houses are? When you move out, like, don't your parents give you like, here's all your shit that I kept, you can do whatever you want with it?
No, your mom, your parents do that?
My mom has stuff, but not, not like a lot of things. She has like folders of like, you know, shit and like old like, uh, school projects maybe.
That's fair. We have like some clothing.
But there's nothing like, oh, this is the wallpaper from your room growing up.
I'd be like, what the fuck am I gonna do with that?
I'm also, let's be very clear. I acknowledge that I'm probably a little too intense about this stuff.
I, I, and I'm like, that's totally fine. I'm just trying to understand the, the, the mentality behind it.
The mentality is just like, I, I am very much so into the idea of like, you know, like, you tell stories and like, you're basically right now, like, if someone were to meet you, like, you don't know that person, but you have a collection of stories and things that you've been with and been through and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, that makes and contributes to who you are.
And to me, these relics, these items that I hold on to, allow me to kind of bring myself back to those moments, back to those memories. Where was I? What was going on? What was our life like? Oh my god, we were expecting Ruby and then like, we were, oh, do you remember how, you're like, it just, it kind of fuels the fire of the story and then eventually that fire gets dimmer and dimmer and dimmer and then maybe you pick up something and you're like, oh my god, and it comes back again.
It re-jogs your memory.
Yeah, sometimes. I mean, think of how many stories you've probably stopped telling that you just forgot about.
So, you gotta keep that candle burning.
I don't think that, I, I, I personally don't feel like I need to.
I think that like, that's, that's probably okay.
Yeah, I don't think there's any right or wrong way to do it.
Yeah, no, it's not about that.
I also think, I, I, I know I've always-
Are you worried? Is that like the worry though? You're worried about you'll forget something?
Sometimes. I mean, I, I, but that's not why, that's not like propelling me to do this stuff. Sometimes there is the worry of like, oh man, like what if I forget? Let me tell it again to like, but then also it's just like, I don't know, there's like, uh, for instance, I have, you know, one of Ruby, I, I don't have one, I have five of Ruby's pacifiers from when she was a baby. Eventually I'll only have one, cause I know eventually I'll be like, I don't need all five of these. But like, when I have a physical object, it's like, to me, it's like a sense of like time travel. Like I can go back, be like, oh my god, like this was the thing that she and, and us and at the ti- like, it just, to me, it feels like there is more
to this item. It's like the idea of like, if you were to go and buy a dinosaur bone. You know?
You go buy a dinosaur bone, it's just like, yo, this is from this time?
Think of the time that it's lasted, where was it? All that, like, there's more to it.
So I definitely understand that, I guess, the, I, like, I, I, I get what you're saying and I agree with you.
The part that I think that makes you stand out as far as that goes is maybe the amount and the,
I guess the items, like very specific niche items.
Sure, yeah.
So it's like, that's why I'm wondering the mentality behind that, because I, of course, like, the pacifiers, like, I wouldn't be surprised if you kept all of them. Like that to me, you know, especially with like, your young children, they're young ones, keep everything, like, like, you know what I mean, obviously. But, the, uh-
But the like, you know, your, your shirt that, that was a size medium that of course would never, you know, like you're, you're never gonna like wear it again. And it's just like a shirt or whatever. It never reminds you of something like, still the idea that I have to keep this too. That's what I'm interested in.
It's also with clothing in particular. It's also like, I can offer it to my kids one day, like Miles, maybe one day he'll want the shirt. And if he doesn't, then we can get rid of it. Cause then there's no point for me to have it like.
But is that the reason you're keeping it? Or why you chose to keep it like at that time?
I would say 50 50.
But you probably kept that shirt at a time where Miles didn't exist.
Uh, uh, I mean, I, I see what you're saying. No, but I see what you're saying, but my mentality is just like, oh, it's an old shirt. I've had this shirt forever. I'm gonna keep it. Maybe one day he'll want it. If he doesn't, then basically the clock expires on both of those things and it, it could be time to get rid of it.
And do you, do you have anyone in your life that's like that too?
Hmm. Probably not to the extent that I am. I think I definitely have people in my life, like, I think it is a part of my family. Like we all like took things from our, our childhood home and stuff like that, but I think I am probably the most intense.
Like when you were younger, like, did you, did you see anyone doing this? And you're like, oh, I like this.
I don't think so. I really do think, and as all things tend to with me, it all comes back to my mega swords. I really do think that seeing Toy Story three and realizing like, oh, those toys that I played with at that age are now gone.
Put me more in probably a concentrated position to just be like, let me hold on to it as long as I can. And then I want to get rid of it at my time. I'm not blaming my mom, but I am blaming my mom.
Pixar is to blame, really?
And my mom.
Okay. Interesting.
And Joey's just like, oh, what's this? My kid's birth certificate? Fuck this.
No, I'm not like that.
And he'll burn it and rip it.
No, I know. I know. I'm busted chops.
Um, do you do that? Do you keep stuff?
No, I, I feel like I'm good at detaching from it unless someone like give gifted me something maybe. Like if it's their time and their money and their thought, I'm more likely to save it. I suppose than anything I have.
Yeah. I think also.
Like, there's been times, like, in the past five years, that, like, I do a secret Santa with my friends, and, like, sometimes you get a gift, and you're kinda like, "I'm never gonna get this." And I'm okay with getting rid of that pretty suddenly. Not like, that day, but like, I'm just, it's just not for me, and like, I just don't... I don't even think that the gift was given with this, like, "This is all of me here, this item." So I'm, like, okay with kinda detaching from stuff like that.
Yeah, I guess I get that, but I'm like you. If someone gives me a gift, I am, like, even if I'm not crazy about it, like, I'm gonna keep it, I'm gonna wear it, I'm going to, like, that's just, because it, it's a representation of what that person thinks of me. Now, if they get me something like, "Oh, here, whatever," you know, like, it's clearly like a, you know, like a non-thought-out thing, bit different. Still gonna keep it, though.
Like, I don't know, like, I guess I don't know if this is weird, but like, so like, when people send things to my P.O. box, like, I'm more likely to keep that than something like a family member got me as a gift.
Yeah, that is, if anything, it would be opposite.
Yeah, I know, but it's like, I don't know, I just feel like, it feels like an extra thought, and like, an extra purpose.
Did that hat come in the P.O. box?
No, this, well, no, no, it did not.
Yeah, I really wonder what it is. I don't know if there's something wrong with me, but like, I only keep stuff that really, like, moves me. Like, if I got something and it felt like it really, like, moved me, then I'd keep that, but I don't know that I have that many moments.
We just gotta get him more things, Frankie. That's what he's saying, we wanna get him more things, is what he's saying.
This is my issue around his birthday and Christmas, I'm like, "What do you get the guy that fucking got it all?"
"I don't know."
I don't, but I don't, I don't even like items.
Yeah, he doesn't like things.
I don't like items.
So we gotta get him experiences?
No, you gotta get him time.
Get him time?
You, you're, you've, you've always said that, like, one of your love languages is, like, quality time.
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah.
Bring it, bring a sleeping bag and just show up to his place, be like, "This is your gift."
I'll do that.
"I'm gonna stay here for a week and a half."
I'll tell you what. You wanna talk about a gift that'll get thrown out immediately?
Here's my sleeping bag. What?
Sleeping bags are cool. I used to have a ton.
Dude, I used to sleep in a sleeping bag in my own home.
That's sad.
No, it was fun. It was like camping.
But you can't, you know, I had a bed.
I thought you were doing the whole like, I slept on the floor for the first six years of my life.
No, no, I would just go, I would sleep in the basement.
I was gonna tell Liz, be like, he's spreading lies about you.
No, no, I had a bed, but I would be like, oh, this is fun, I'm camping, and I'd fucking sleep in a sleeping bag in the basement.
Oh, everyone used to do that.
The only difference between us is I kept the sleeping bag.
Probably.
Or a shred of it.
You know what this is? This is a feather that was in the sleeping bag.
I have. I was just texting my brothers and sister about this yesterday.
You know what? I actually got a text from my sister the other day. She sent a photo of this, of this like, uh, poster. Of, do you remember like, the first time that I ever hosted like, a club night?
Probably, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was the night before Thanksgiving, wasn't it?
Yeah. Oh, no, my mom sent it to me and she goes, I just found this. And she's like, do you want to keep it? I was like, no.
I pulled this out of my, uh, one of my keepsake boxes the other day. It's my childhood pillowcase.
I can't see, there's a glare.
Send me that.
Oh, it's just a pillowcase?
Yup.
Send me that quick?
It's a Toon Squad pillowcase.
She's gonna send it to Josh.
It's, and, and, and, uh, like, I think-
That's a cool pillowcase.
Yeah, it was. The other side is the Monstars. And, uh-
Did your blanket be Monstars 2? What did my, what was that sentence?
Look at my blanket be Monstars 2, yeah.
Did your blanket be Monstars 2?
Dude, look up the, the Space Jam bed spread.
I remember that. Did you have that?
Yeah, that's what that is! That's what that is!
That's why I'm thinking about it, because I remember that.
But like, I think about like, oh, my little childlike head-
Laid on this.
Like, like, oh my god, this is a relic of time. I could put my head on it and am I a kid again?
It's so funny because I, I don't have that because it's me. Like, I would have that if it was like, oh, this is Abraham Lincoln's pipe. But you're like, this is mine.
I'd care less about it if, honestly, honestly, honestly, I'd care less if it was Abraham Lincoln.
Really?
Yeah. Because I don't give a fuck about him. I'm not him. He's not me. I am him. Let's be honest about that.
I'm not him, though.
Yes. You're not capital H him.
No, no, no, I am capital H him.
No, because God is him.
He is risen.
They.
It's 2025.
I don't know.
That is fair. Well, there's no real way to get out of that conversation. We just kind of have to hop out of that. We went from Mormon bedtime garments to this.
Right, we did.
There's a lot of range in this episode, but thank you so much for watching. Frank, where can they find you?
United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama, Haiti, Jamaica, Peru, Republic of Dominican, Cuba, Caribbean, Greenland, El Salvador II, Puerto Rico, Colombia, Venezuela, Honduras, Guyana, and still Guatemala, Bolivia, then Argentina, then Ecuador, Chile, Brazil, Costa Rica, Belize, Nicaragua, Peru, New Bahamas, Tobago, San Juan, Paraguay, Uruguay, Sierra Nevada, and Argentina, Barbados, and Guam.
I think he took up my time.
Yeah, I think he did too.
Thank you guys so much for listening.
I wish you would cut me off sooner.
We hope that you guys are able to hear this episode over Ant screaming about his hat the entire time, but we appreciate it.
God, give us a time to talk.
Uh, thank you so much for watching, and we'll see you next time.
Page updated October 31, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated