#525 - The Hardest I Have Ever Cried

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• 0:01Speaker 00

  Pink Pantheress here. Coach and Spotify are teaming up to bring music and style together, and they want you to be part of it. Grab your friends and head to the Tabby Tour, hitting cities around the country with live performances from special artists, exclusive experiences, and personalized products. And discover custom playlists on Spotify, booked just for you, based on who you are and how you listen. Live your story with Coach. Learn more at coach.com.

• 0:28Speaker 01

  Welcome back to the basement.

• 0:34Speaker 02

  Welcome back to the basement yard.

• 0:37Speaker 03

  I was gonna... I'm starting to run out of ideas of what to do at the start of this. Should I just...

• 0:42Speaker 02

  I feel like that's what our show is. People always ask, "How do you guys prep?" I'm like, "We definitely start the show without knowing where we're gonna go."

• 0:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, I think you need to just like...

• 0:52Speaker 02

  Get the jitters out, the cobwebs.

• 0:55Speaker 03

  I don't know if the jitters are what I'm getting at.

• 0:56Speaker 02

  I know, you're gonna say jizz.

• 0:58Speaker 03

  I'm not gonna...

• 0:58Speaker 02

  You're gonna start, you're gonna get the jizz out.

• 1:00Speaker 03

  What would you do?

• 1:01Speaker 02

  If you got the jizz out?

• 1:02Speaker 03

  If I legit was... No, I can't even say that. I wouldn't do that.

• 1:07Speaker 02

  Do what?

• 1:07Speaker 03

  Jerk off right now.

• 1:10Speaker 02

  On the show?

• 1:10Speaker 03

  No, like...

• 1:11Speaker 02

  Why are you crying? What are you doing? My dog's here. He's already causing a scene.

• 1:14Speaker 03

  He's beating... Oh, look at him, here he goes!

• 1:15Speaker 02

  He's beating me up.

• 1:16Speaker 03

  This fucking little rat.

• 1:17Speaker 02

  Come up here, buddy.

• 1:18Speaker 03

  He's crying because he...

• 1:20Speaker 02

  Who's this? Say something to him. Say, "Go." Okay.

• 1:24Speaker 04

  What if he just started talking?

• 1:27Speaker 03

  That would be pretty cool.

• 1:28Speaker 02

  He started talking?

• 1:29Speaker 03

  That would be pretty cool.

• 1:29Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:30Speaker 03

  That would be pretty cool. What would be the first question you'd ask him? "Do you love me?" A thousand percent, right?

• 1:34Speaker 02

  Obviously.

• 1:34Speaker 03

  A thousand percent.

• 1:35Speaker 02

  Yeah. Honestly? Okay, so... It's funny that this actually happened just now, because this is a real thing I wanted to talk about. Yesterday, I cried for the first time in a while, so hard, sobbing, tears coming down my face, because I saw a video of something with a dog.

• 1:50Speaker 03

  You gotta stop with these dog videos.

• 1:52Speaker 02

  I'm gonna make...

• 1:52Speaker 03

  You gotta stop with these dog videos. You need to go see the horror movie.

• 1:55Speaker 02

  What I need is a... Like, I don't even know. I need to find a medicine that will make this thing live forever, because I'm not gonna be the same.

• 2:02Speaker 03

  This thing, he doesn't even view it as a person.

• 2:04Speaker 02

  I definitely do. So, this is the thing that made me cry. I saw this video yesterday, and it's a video of this couple and their dog, and they're sitting on a bench, and there's a sign next to them, and it says, "It's our dog's last day." Give us some advice and him a treat. We brought lots. And it's like the sad music and they're sitting there and the dog is like whatever and then people are coming over and sitting with them. And like they have other dogs that come and they're just like hanging out and I'm like, and then at the end of it's like the dog they killed. I mean, they, I don't wanna say they killed the dog, but they had to put the dog down, right? And I'm like, oh my God, and I just started like welling up. I'm like, this is so fucked up. It's so sad. The next video that I swiped to and I, I'm gonna try and get through this without crying again. Because every time I read it, it fucking kills me.

• 2:46Speaker 03

  I mean, we'd probably do pretty good if you started crying on the show, Joey.

• 2:49Speaker 02

  This says to all other, I can't even fucking read it.

• 2:53Speaker 03

  You got it. Alright, you want me to read it?

• 2:54Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no, no, you got it, you got it, you got it. It says, to all the other doggies in heaven. Please be kind to my baby, Jesus Christ. And it's a little dog. And it says, he doesn't like being away from his mom and is scared of other dogs.

• 3:10Speaker 03

  So then he should probably not go to doggy heaven. He should go to like regular heaven then.

• 3:14Speaker 02

  Shh. Don't. Oh, that would be nice.

• 3:18Speaker 02

  And then the comments are pictures of other people putting pictures of their dog. And this one, it's. This one is another dog and it says, my girl arrived on Wednesday. She loved little dogs. She's got him. And I was literally like, fuck that bitch, bro. Like she knows I'm reading Charlie is her name. And then this one, my big boy's got him. He always looked after his little pug. Bro, if you go in the comments, it's all.

• 3:42Speaker 03

  Oh, that's sweet. It's a sense of community. See, that's what social media and the internet should be.

• 3:47Speaker 02

  Crying.

• 3:47Speaker 03

  Is like a big hug. Instead, it's a big.

• 3:50Speaker 02

  I agree.

• 3:51Speaker 03

  It's a big this.

• 3:52Speaker 02

  Bro, the thing that.

• 3:52Speaker 03

  Yeah! That's the internet.

• 3:58Speaker 02

  What? The thing that made me like start crying or whatever in this first video is like, look at this. These are random people coming and they're like sitting down and with their dogs. Like this is so sweet.

• 4:08Speaker 03

  That's acts of kindness. I, I'm, I'm gonna tell you this. Uh, what is it called on TikTok? I think it's called like Hope Corps? It's like Hope Corps videos?

• 4:15Speaker 02

  Yes, yes.

• 4:15Speaker 03

  Hope Corps videos get me every single time.

• 4:18Speaker 02

  I fucking love it.

• 4:18Speaker 03

  And they have that same song over it that gets me every time. When I'm.

• 4:25Speaker 02

  It's called A Thousand Years.

• 4:26Speaker 03

  Colors and things.

• 4:30Speaker 03

  Booby doo, babe.

• 4:32Speaker 02

  You know what else I saw? Cause I was also, that was like Hope Corps, all this whole shit.

• 4:35Speaker 03

  Hope Corps.

• 4:35Speaker 02

  It was just all videos that were gonna make me cry. I saw a video.

• 4:40Speaker 02

  And it was a guy and he's doing something with his daughter. They're like mixing something like they're about to bake or some shit. And then the girl out of nowhere just goes daddy, you're my best friend.

• 4:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:49Speaker 02

  And the dad's like-

• 4:49Speaker 03

  Those fuck me up.

• 4:50Speaker 02

  And I literally was like, I'm not gonna survive children at all.

• 4:53Speaker 03

  Dude, you are not.

• 4:54Speaker 02

  I'm not, I'm terrified.

• 4:56Speaker 03

  You are not. I was putting Ruby to sleep yesterday.

• 4:58Speaker 02

  Oh god.

• 4:59Speaker 03

  And it's, first of all, the little parts of life are the most beautiful with kids. Because like, you don't realize, like you're like, oh I love you, blah blah blah, but then you hear it from them, like unprompted. You'd be like, oh, do you love daddy? Yes, I love daddy. Oh, that's nice. That means something, but also I ask you, like, give it to me real. I'm putting her to sleep and she's like, can you scratch my back and sing me a song? Of course, absolutely.

• 5:23Speaker 02

  My god, this is your daughter. You would ask me to do that?

• 5:27Speaker 03

  Of course, I do it every, yeah. And then she, and then I go, alright, you know, I say my, my, my, like bedtime words to her and whatever. And she goes, no, please stay for twenty fifty minutes. That's what she thinks of like- When she thinks of things in like big numbers terms, she goes twenty fifty. And I'm like, you want me to stay? And she goes, yeah. And I go, why? And she goes, well, it's because I love you so much.

• 5:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, not that long.

• 5:50Speaker 03

  I-

• 5:51Speaker 02

  I'm sleeping in the room.

• 5:53Speaker 03

  I'm not kidding. I would have stayed there until now.

• 5:57Speaker 02

  The year twenty fifty.

• 5:58Speaker 03

  The year twenty fifty.

• 5:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:00Speaker 03

  It's not that long. That's only, that's only twenty seven years, Joey.

• 6:03Speaker 02

  It's a long time, friend.

• 6:04Speaker 03

  I definitely didn't add right. It's twenty five.

• 6:06Speaker 02

  Bad, man.

• 6:08Speaker 03

  But like-

• 6:08Speaker 02

  Twenty seven years.

• 6:09Speaker 03

  Dude, Hope Corps.

• 6:10Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 6:11Speaker 03

  Hope Corps, because like-

• 6:12Speaker 02

  Need more of that.

• 6:13Speaker 03

  That's what the internet should be. It should be the community set- Because the internet, here we go!

• 6:20Speaker 02

  Negative.

• 6:20Speaker 03

  You ready?

• 6:21Speaker 02

  It's negative.

• 6:21Speaker 03

  You ready, fucking internet? The internet

• 6:26Speaker 03

  has just become just a fucking dirty diaper of a place.

• 6:32Speaker 02

  A dirty diaper.

• 6:33Speaker 03

  Like, you, you see that, you know it's there and you see that it's a diaper. And then you're just like, oh, it's sagging. I know what's making it sag. Shit and piss.

• 6:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think we're focusing on the diaper too much. It feels like you have like, you deal, did you deal with a big dirty diaper today or something?

• 6:51Speaker 03

  Oh, every day, baby.

• 6:52Speaker 02

  Every day.

• 6:52Speaker 03

  Every day, maybe fills those bastards up. Bastards up.

• 6:56Speaker 02

  Blow out of the pack.

• 6:57Speaker 03

  I'm just saying like, the internet was supposed to be a communal place that is representative. I genuinely believe, genuinely believe that normal people within our society are kind-hearted. Most people.

• 7:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:14Speaker 03

  Are kind-hearted, are vying and looking for a sense of belonging and acceptance and community. So when the internet does that? Why did I go with Maniscal?

• 7:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't know.

• 7:26Speaker 03

  When the internet does that? You hear what I'm saying?

• 7:33Speaker 02

  I follow some pages that do that.

• 7:34Speaker 03

  I get so fucking frothed up. Dude, there's one page.

• 7:38Speaker 02

  That's a crazy way to describe.

• 7:39Speaker 03

  We're back to comment.

• 7:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, I guess.

• 7:41Speaker 03

  There's one page that does the whole like, this streamer had no views.

• 7:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:46Speaker 03

  And they're like, I donated a dollar. And then they were like, oh, thank you so much. And then they get thousands of views.

• 7:53Speaker 02

  I fucking love it.

• 7:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, I love that shit.

• 7:56Speaker 03

  So how long did you cry?

• 7:58Speaker 02

  Uh, a good fifteen.

• 8:00Speaker 03

  That's it?

• 8:01Speaker 02

  That's it. Well, I was going through, like, I'm talking about a real fifteen, by the way. I, I was laughing because I'm like, I'm crazy. Like, I'm crazy, I'm laughing. And I liked it because I hadn't cried in a while, so I was like. Yeah, no, I, Frank, I was bursting out laughing.

• 8:16Speaker 03

  Like laughing crying?

• 8:17Speaker 02

  Laughing my ass off and crying.

• 8:19Speaker 03

  Were you alone?

• 8:20Speaker 02

  Like, you fucking bitch.

• 8:21Speaker 03

  Were you alone?

• 8:22Speaker 02

  No, Nicole's videotaping me like I'm a fucking psychopath. Like, and I'm like, yeah, it's great. I mean, she was crying. Anyone who's watching those kinds of things, you're gonna cry.

• 8:34Speaker 03

  Well, I think it's also good to reset your emotional balance.

• 8:37Speaker 02

  You gotta get it out. And as it was coming, like, as I was crying, because then I was crying and I like, that's what made, made it so funny to me. Because I'm crying and then I can still feel that I have still, I still have more crying in my face and neck.

• 8:51Speaker 03

  In your throat. I love feeling cry in my throat.

• 8:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, you know, when you start crying, you're like, I got more because it's all packed in right here.

• 8:57Speaker 03

  And you feel it, you're like, there it is, it's right there. I could, if I like shoved my fingers down my throat, I'd touch the cry.

• 9:03Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 9:04Speaker 03

  Because it's so palpable.

• 9:05Speaker 02

  I want to just, just scream. I just want to go, ah!

• 9:09Speaker 03

  Well, a good.

• 9:10Speaker 02

  And cry.

• 9:10Speaker 03

  A good cry.

• 9:13Speaker 03

  Scales, okay? The scales of our emotions. Every now and then, you need to reset them. You need to rebalance, recalibrate your emotional stability.

• 9:22Speaker 02

  You just gotta let it out.

• 9:23Speaker 03

  So it's good to find a little hope and love and joy.

• 9:28Speaker 02

  On the internet.

• 9:30Speaker 03

  Because you don't know where it is. Bro, you don't know, you gotta find it sometimes.

• 9:34Speaker 02

  You know what's interesting?

• 9:37Speaker 02

  And I know this is probably very obvious, but I'm gonna say it anyway.

• 9:40Speaker 03

  Happiness is interesting.

• 9:41Speaker 02

  No, I was gonna say that when you, especially like a day like today. It's a fall day. It's nice and breezy, it's kinda cool, the sun is out. There's some clouds in the sky. It looks like the Toy Story fucking bedroom or whatever the fuck. And you're walking around and you're like, this is better than anything. But we spend all our time online. And online, a lot of it is just negative. And it's like, oh, if we just... And I know a lot of people say it as like a diss. It's like, yo, go touch grass. But yo, really think about that.

• 10:07Speaker 03

  Dude, I am not kidding.

• 10:09Speaker 02

  It's nice to be outside.

• 10:10Speaker 03

  I spent the last two days just kinda getting stuff done around the house. Not on my phone. And at one point, I just sat in the yard.

• 10:18Speaker 02

  Yeah!

• 10:19Speaker 03

  And I just sat there and I looked up at the sky and I saw the moon. And I was like, when's the last time I did this?

• 10:27Speaker 02

  You know what my sister said to me this morning? Cause I went to my mom's. And she said that, she's like, the other day, I just laid on the grass.

• 10:37Speaker 03

  Yeah!

• 10:37Speaker 02

  And just like, was just watching the clouds.

• 10:39Speaker 03

  Yo, one of my favorite things, Becca taught me this. One of my favorite things, she saw a study once. And, and it makes sense. She's like, there is a, whether it be correlation or, or what, but a link between like, a feeling of serotonin, like, not serotonin. No, serotonin, yeah, happy, dopamine, whatever. And getting your hands dirty. Like, in the grass, like planting.

• 11:03Speaker 02

  Or in meatballs.

• 11:04Speaker 03

  Like meatballs!

• 11:06Speaker 02

  Oh my god, I'm squishing meatballs!

• 11:08Speaker 03

  When I fucking grab ground beef.

• 11:11Speaker 02

  And it poops through your hands?

• 11:12Speaker 03

  And I see it shit through its fingers.

• 11:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, it starts pooping through your fingers. There's nothing better than that.

• 11:16Speaker 03

  Dude, it's so nice.

• 11:18Speaker 02

  Just getting on them.

• 11:20Speaker 03

  Meatballs in your hand.

• 11:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what you need to do soon? You know what I do with the kids every now and then?

• 11:26Speaker 03

  Make meatballs with your hands?

• 11:27Speaker 02

  We get, we get, we cook down, we cook fresh tomatoes, put them in a bowl.

• 11:34Speaker 03

  Smush them, smush them.

• 11:35Speaker 02

  Fucking smush them. You know what I like?

• 11:37Speaker 03

  Avocado.

• 11:38Speaker 02

  But I don't, I don't like to.

• 11:39Speaker 03

  No, no, no, avocado is too soft, like baby shit.

• 11:42Speaker 02

  Wait, but if you have the, the masher and you're like. I like that.

• 11:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, I do like that a lot.

• 11:49Speaker 03

  I'm just.

• 11:50Speaker 02

  I like the. With like pepper, you know what I mean? Like.

• 11:54Speaker 03

  Oh, you like to ground like.

• 11:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:56Speaker 03

  Who's that guy? He's like a, he does like the meat, he's a meat guy on. Back up, back up.

• 12:02Speaker 02

  What site?

• 12:02Speaker 03

  He's on TikTok, but he like, he grabs, I'm gonna use this Happy Thursday here.

• 12:09Speaker 03

  He like grabs the pepper mill and he like spins it in his fingers and then he just fucking catches it. Hey, cranks that shit.

• 12:17Speaker 02

  Oh, is that the guy who's like, oh, he's got a toothpick in his mouth?

• 12:19Speaker 03

  He's got, and he's just like, today we're making the wagyu of every bird.

• 12:23Speaker 02

  Wait, does he talk?

• 12:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:25Speaker 02

  Well, how else would he? Well, I think there's a guy that I've seen on TikTok and he like always has a tank top and a, and a toothpick.

• 12:30Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no, no, it's another guy. He's got, this guy's got meat.

• 12:35Speaker 03

  He's got meat.

• 12:35Speaker 02

  They all got meat.

• 12:36Speaker 03

  They all got him. But like, he's like, today we're cooking the wagyu of every, of like, like three different types of brisket. And it's like, cheap, middle, A5.

• 12:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 12:47Speaker 03

  And he fucking spins it and he's just like, ooh. Listen, I'm gonna help you, I'm gonna, this is what Dr. Frankie's gonna order for you. I got a prescription for you, okay? RX more of what I'm gonna give you.

• 12:59Speaker 02

  Don't.

• 13:01Speaker 03

  Go home tonight. Whoever's watching this, today, tonight, or in the next couple of days when you have the availability. Stay home.

• 13:12Speaker 03

  Put music on and cook a meal that requires you to get your hands a little dirty. Fresh pasta.

• 13:19Speaker 02

  Let's make this easier.

• 13:20Speaker 03

  Fresh on. Get your hands in a bowl of meat and.

• 13:26Speaker 02

  Just give it a little swish.

• 13:27Speaker 03

  Or even better, go collect dirt.

• 13:31Speaker 02

  Put your hands in the dirt. I don't mind.

• 13:33Speaker 03

  A bowl of dirt?

• 13:34Speaker 02

  I don't mind.

• 13:34Speaker 03

  And put a little water in there and just mix around in it.

• 13:37Speaker 02

  You know what I don't mind? A worm. I don't mind a worm.

• 13:40Speaker 03

  You like worms?

• 13:41Speaker 02

  If I'm touching the earth, I don't like it if it's like.

• 13:45Speaker 03

  What else are you getting them?

• 13:46Speaker 02

  I don't know. If I had like a bag of like Miracle-Gro and there's like a worm in there, I'd be like, "The fuck are you doing here?" But if I'm in the earth, I'm touching the earth, I don't mind a worm.

• 13:53Speaker 03

  Listen.

• 13:54Speaker 02

  Or a roly poly.

• 13:55Speaker 03

  Oh, I love a good roly poly.

• 13:56Speaker 02

  I used to kill them, but I don't do it anymore.

• 13:58Speaker 03

  Good for you.

• 13:58Speaker 02

  But I used to be like, "Hey."

• 13:59Speaker 03

  I just think like, there is, I know we're saying the most obvious thing in the world.

• 14:04Speaker 02

  Well, that's what I was gonna say before.

• 14:05Speaker 03

  And we're trying to like, hijack it as like, "It's our idea now."

• 14:09Speaker 02

  No, I know. And I was like, "That's how you know we're fucked," because I'm over here being like, "Oh, it's so nice to go outside." That's how fucked we are. Think about it in 10 years. What I just said will probably be like profound.

• 14:21Speaker 03

  I can almost guarantee.

• 14:22Speaker 02

  And I'm saying, "Go outside."

• 14:23Speaker 03

  It will not be profound.

• 14:26Speaker 03

  I can almost guarantee that. I just think like, there is, and listen, this is coming from a person that like loves to unwind. What, playing video games and like, just kinda like, puzzle. Beck and I started a puzzle recently.

• 14:37Speaker 02

  What kind of puzzle?

• 14:39Speaker 03

  He said like a 2,000-piece puzzle.

• 14:40Speaker 02

  Oh, jig?

• 14:42Speaker 03

  Yeah. What other puzzles are there?

• 14:46Speaker 02

  3D? What is that?

• 14:47Speaker 03

  Fuck you.

• 14:48Speaker 02

  What's a 3D puzzle?

• 14:48Speaker 03

  It's like you build it up.

• 14:51Speaker 02

  I've never even heard of that.

• 14:52Speaker 03

  Really? They're really hard?

• 14:53Speaker 02

  I thought, I don't know, like a puzzle, I figured it could be like, I don't know, I don't say I don't know.

• 14:57Speaker 03

  Look, what do you think I'm doing?

• 14:59Speaker 02

  But a puzzle is kind of like a general, a jigsaw puzzle makes sense.

• 15:02Speaker 03

  Where do you put it? Uh, uh, I had to set up like a table in my room.

• 15:05Speaker 02

  That's the worst.

• 15:06Speaker 03

  I know, I know, it sucked, but, but like, just like something where you can just kinda like, aimlessly do nothing.

• 15:12Speaker 02

  Tap out.

• 15:13Speaker 03

  And tap out. And like, if you wanna go outside and you wanna just walk in the park, collect a pine cone.

• 15:19Speaker 02

  Go find a pine cone.

• 15:21Speaker 03

  Go find a pine cone.

• 15:22Speaker 02

  Can you eat pine cones?

• 15:23Speaker 03

  I don't know. Acorns you can, but you gotta boil the tannic acids out, the tannins.

• 15:28Speaker 02

  Oh, okay, yeah.

• 15:31Speaker 03

  But.

• 15:31Speaker 02

  Remember we used to decorate pine cones?

• 15:33Speaker 03

  We did. I did it with the kids the other day. We got them.

• 15:35Speaker 02

  Rhinestones?

• 15:35Speaker 03

  They brought them home, they painted them.

• 15:37Speaker 02

  Painted them?

• 15:38Speaker 03

  Painted them. But like, see, like this is, we are so inundated with just like, entertainment, your phone, and over here, and streaming, and, and fucking, Apple Music. Just do something that is so low lift.

• 15:56Speaker 02

  Let the wind hit ya.

• 15:57Speaker 03

  Let the wind hit your fucking ass, dude.

• 16:01Speaker 02

  Yo.

• 16:02Speaker 03

  When's the la- I'm not saying, dude.

• 16:03Speaker 02

  No, I'm being dead serious though.

• 16:05Speaker 03

  Listen.

• 16:05Speaker 02

  No, no, no.

• 16:05Speaker 03

  Don't threaten indecent exposure. I'm not gonna tell people to do that.

• 16:09Speaker 02

  Bro, when was the last time the wind has hit your ass, though?

• 16:11Speaker 03

  Recently. We got an outdoor shower.

• 16:15Speaker 02

  You have an outdoor shower?

• 16:16Speaker 03

  Hell yeah, babe.

• 16:17Speaker 02

  And you got out there and you dumped it?

• 16:18Speaker 03

  And I was in that shower.

• 16:20Speaker 02

  That's fun.

• 16:20Speaker 03

  Showering, brother.

• 16:21Speaker 02

  Is it, is it surrounded?

• 16:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, it is.

• 16:23Speaker 02

  Nice.

• 16:23Speaker 03

  You step out, you got your, I, I step out, I, I got my, my, uh, my towel on. Where are you guys gonna go?

• 16:29Speaker 02

  I thought you were gonna be just like, holding your shit.

• 16:31Speaker 03

  No, I step out, I got my towel on, and I just.

• 16:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:34Speaker 03

  Wow, the breeze.

• 16:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:37Speaker 04

  Why did you use the shower outside?

• 16:39Speaker 02

  For, for fun and sport and outdoor fun.

• 16:42Speaker 04

  Just for fun?

• 16:43Speaker 03

  Because I like to see the sky when I wash my fucking balls, dude.

• 16:47Speaker 02

  Wouldn't that be ni- that would be nice, though.

• 16:48Speaker 03

  When's the last time you looked and saw the clouds while washing your cock?

• 16:53Speaker 02

  Do you have a window?

• 16:54Speaker 04

  No, I don't have a window. Oh, yes, I do have a window.

• 16:56Speaker 03

  You do have a window.

• 16:58Speaker 04

  Well, how do you know if I have a window?

• 16:59Speaker 03

  I've been to your bathroom. While you're in it and your shower.

• 17:02Speaker 02

  I've showered in your bathroom with my ass out.

• 17:04Speaker 04

  Frankie, get outta here. No, I've seen, I've seen, um, a cloud.

• 17:07Speaker 02

  It's nice.

• 17:08Speaker 03

  Do me a favor.

• 17:09Speaker 02

  I like an outdoor shower. You know what I would do if I was you?

• 17:11Speaker 03

  Don't point.

• 17:11Speaker 02

  I would, if it rained, I would go into my backyard and roll around in the mud like a pig.

• 17:17Speaker 03

  Listen, it poured. It poured yesterday. Guess what we said to the kids?

• 17:22Speaker 02

  Go play in a pond!

• 17:23Speaker 03

  Door open. Get the fuck back there.

• 17:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:26Speaker 03

  And Maeve and Ruby were sitting there, walking back and forth, just singing.

• 17:31Speaker 02

  I love being in the rain. I love the rain.

• 17:34Speaker 03

  Dude, I love being in the rain because, because, lot of R&B music videos I've watched. You best believe anytime I get in the rain, I find a puddle and I kick like Usher.

• 17:44Speaker 02

  I like to be out in the rain because it just, it makes me feel like...

• 17:49Speaker 03

  Usher.

• 17:50Speaker 02

  It makes me feel like the song Unwritten. You know what I mean?

• 17:53Speaker 03

  Release your inhibitions.

• 17:54Speaker 02

  And I'm like, "Oh, I'm just out here and I don't even care, I'm so wet. What am I gonna do with my phone?"

• 17:59Speaker 03

  I'm taking this, we're taking, the basement yard is starting a fucking movement. We're taking back the world.

• 18:08Speaker 02

  No, we're not.

• 18:08Speaker 03

  Oh, no, we're not doing it.

• 18:09Speaker 02

  We already know.

• 18:10Speaker 03

  But like, listen.

• 18:10Speaker 02

  What we're saying is obvious.

• 18:11Speaker 03

  Just make a mess. Go somewhere and just make a fucking mess. That's what I'm talking about. This is what we're calling the fall.

• 18:20Speaker 02

  We're saying make meatballs.

• 18:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, make a mess. You need to make a mess.

• 18:24Speaker 02

  Now that the fall is coming, make a big giant thing of leaves and jump in it.

• 18:28Speaker 03

  Messy fall.

• 18:32Speaker 02

  You have to coin everything. We're not coining this.

• 18:35Speaker 03

  Well, we did it.

• 18:37Speaker 02

  You make a giant triangle of leaves and you jump in it and you get a couple ants on you, you get a couple bug bites, whatever.

• 18:45Speaker 03

  Listen.

• 18:49Speaker 03

  You know how I feel.

• 18:50Speaker 02

  About leaves?

• 18:51Speaker 03

  About life. I hold on to... I hold on to a childlike imagination, sense of wonder, playfulness. You know that. You know that about me. And I'm not just talking to Megazords. I'm talking just like in the way I go about. I like pranking people, making hobbies.

• 19:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:08Speaker 03

  It's fun for me.

• 19:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:10Speaker 03

  Let's bring that back. Let's reestablish... Let's reestablish a sense of just joy and wonder, hope core.

• 19:21Speaker 02

  Frank, you're prefacing a conversation that we are 18 minutes into.

• 19:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:26Speaker 02

  We're already deep in the pool, baby.

• 19:28Speaker 03

  But like, I'm establishing, we're gathering, the basement yard, our fans and our supporters are so fucking incredibly supportive and they get behind us with the movement. Get behind us with this movement. It's gonna be called BY Joycore.

• 19:43Speaker 02

  You know what I think about? You know that scene in, uh, what's it called? Fucking Shawshank Redemption where he's outside and he just escaped prison and it's raining?

• 19:52Speaker 03

  No, I got a better scene.

• 19:57Speaker 02

  What is it? If it's a fucking Marvel movie?

• 19:59Speaker 03

  No, you're gonna like this one. The remake of The Longest Yard, where they're practicing in the rain.

• 20:06Speaker 02

  Oh!

• 20:07Speaker 03

  And they're just having fun.

• 20:08Speaker 02

  And it's CCR playing, "Have you ever seen the rain?"

• 20:15Speaker 03

  And they're like, boom, boom, boom.

• 20:17Speaker 02

  Grown men playing in a puddle? What's better than that? That's weird coming out of my mouth.

• 20:21Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 20:22Speaker 02

  But it's, but you get what I mean.

• 20:22Speaker 03

  They could play in puddles, but when they make puddles, that's when it's a problem.

• 20:26Speaker 02

  Now I'm confused.

• 20:26Speaker 03

  It's come.

• 20:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, that's great. Oh my god, I wanna go jump in a puddle right now.

• 20:33Speaker 03

  Listen.

• 20:33Speaker 02

  I saw a dog yesterday, I went for a walk and there was a dog walking over and there was a puddle because it rained. And he was drinking out of the puddle.

• 20:40Speaker 03

  And you like that filthy little fucker.

• 20:42Speaker 02

  And I was like, that's disgusting.

• 20:43Speaker 03

  That's a filthy fucker.

• 20:45Speaker 02

  I think it's a, yeah.

• 20:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:47Speaker 02

  I kinda like when dogs like don't listen and they just jump into like mud and shit.

• 20:51Speaker 03

  Well, because in their nature. Hey, hey, hey! But Joey, in their nature?

• 20:55Speaker 02

  Are you gonna explain the nature of a dog to me now?

• 20:57Speaker 03

  No, no, but like, in their, like you, like this happens with kids all the time. When the kids see a puddle.

• 21:02Speaker 02

  They wanna jump in it.

• 21:03Speaker 03

  Go. Because there's a beauty in that. You see water and it's just like, you just wanna jump in a puddle, watch it fucking splash out.

• 21:09Speaker 02

  You're preaching to the choir here.

• 21:11Speaker 03

  Dude, messy fall. That's all I'm saying. I know you getting on me for having a coin terms.

• 21:16Speaker 02

  I'm not saying messy fall, I'm saying just in general, I think for all of the seasons. Like even in the winter, even in the summer. In, in the spree.

• 21:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, but the summer's tough. The summer's tough.

• 21:28Speaker 02

  No.

• 21:28Speaker 03

  Summer's tough.

• 21:29Speaker 02

  It's cuz yo, get out there and slip and slide.

• 21:31Speaker 03

  You can't, you can't get messy in the winter. Because the ground is fucking rock solid.

• 21:36Speaker 02

  Dude, it's talking, it's, it's, it's making snow angels. Getting some snow in your boots.

• 21:41Speaker 03

  You don't get messy.

• 21:42Speaker 02

  It still counts. You get snow everywhere.

• 21:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, but, so, I don't consider snow everywhere to be a mess cuz it, it cleans itself.

• 21:49Speaker 02

  It's a metaphor. I don't know if it's a metaphor.

• 21:52Speaker 03

  I don't think so, but I'll, I like it.

• 21:53Speaker 02

  But you know what I mean.

• 21:54Speaker 03

  Ah, well, see, you see what happens? You rebalancing your emotional well-being.

• 22:00Speaker 02

  Crying?

• 22:00Speaker 03

  Crying. Brought out what is going to be the movement that sweeps the nation.

• 22:07Speaker 03

  We are gonna be at the forefront. We're gonna be at the forefront of it.

• 22:11Speaker 02

  We aren't. We're not gonna be at the forefront. It's very nice. I like... I definitely wanna jump in a puddle at some point this year. That's going on my bucket list.

• 22:22Speaker 04

  I don't like how it ruins my shoes.

• 22:24Speaker 02

  What, water? Rain?

• 22:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, like jumping into a puddle and rain.

• 22:26Speaker 03

  Let me tell you something.

• 22:27Speaker 02

  But like, it won't ruin them.

• 22:29Speaker 03

  Guess what?

• 22:29Speaker 02

  Just throw them in the dryer.

• 22:30Speaker 03

  Or, guess what, brother? Rough, rough. Let the fucking doggies out. I'm talking Baja men.

• 22:38Speaker 02

  I don't agree though.

• 22:39Speaker 03

  Who let the dogs out? You should.

• 22:41Speaker 02

  I don't agree, cuz I think there's something fun about letting your shoes just get wet.

• 22:46Speaker 03

  Let me ask you a serious question.

• 22:49Speaker 02

  Me?

• 22:49Speaker 03

  You guys spent a lot of time outdoors in the summer.

• 22:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:52Speaker 03

  You guys, you live, you live in New York City, so there's not many times that you get to do this. When's the last time you were on grass, good grass, barefoot?

• 23:02Speaker 02

  I do that a lot when I go to my mom's. She has a little bit of grass.

• 23:05Speaker 03

  Just, just, just go and let the doggies bark on the lawn.

• 23:09Speaker 02

  Are you one of those people that don't let, like, they don't like their feet out?

• 23:13Speaker 04

  I'll have my feet out, but I don't wanna like ruin my shoes.

• 23:17Speaker 03

  Leave your shoes inside. This is not that complicated.

• 23:22Speaker 04

  He keeps saying jump into mud and puddles and...

• 23:24Speaker 03

  Okay, but, but do it barefoot with mud and puddles.

• 23:26Speaker 02

  Well, you have shoes, certain shoes that are like, oh, these are beat up, so I can just wear them wherever.

• 23:31Speaker 04

  These are my puddle jumping shoes?

• 23:32Speaker 02

  I mean, they could be.

• 23:33Speaker 03

  That's literally called galoshes. You can literally buy gal...

• 23:36Speaker 02

  What is that?

• 23:37Speaker 03

  Galoshes.

• 23:37Speaker 04

  I thought that was a soup.

• 23:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, goulash.

• 23:39Speaker 03

  No, that's goulash. Galoshes are...

• 23:41Speaker 02

  What's the Russian prison?

• 23:43Speaker 03

  Gulag.

• 23:44Speaker 02

  We're getting close now.

• 23:45Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 23:45Speaker 03

  A galosh. Galoshes are...

• 23:47Speaker 04

  Wait, now you said goulash again.

• 23:48Speaker 02

  You said goulash.

• 23:49Speaker 03

  Galoshes.

• 23:51Speaker 02

  That's multiple goulash.

• 23:52Speaker 03

  No, that's, no, that's goulash.

• 23:55Speaker 02

  Goulash.

• 23:55Speaker 03

  Galosh.

• 23:56Speaker 02

  So what's goulash plural?

• 23:57Speaker 03

  If you... Four seconds of your time, I'll get there.

• 24:01Speaker 02

  He said it.

• 24:02Speaker 04

  I think you're saying it twice.

• 24:02Speaker 02

  Say it again?

• 24:03Speaker 03

  Galoshes.

• 24:05Speaker 04

  That was better, I think.

• 24:06Speaker 03

  Goulash is soup.

• 24:08Speaker 04

  Wait, now he said goulash. Oh, okay.

• 24:09Speaker 03

  It's a stew?

• 24:10Speaker 02

  Is it a sewer soup?

• 24:12Speaker 03

  Whatever, I don't know, cuz I've never had it, because I'm not Russian.

• 24:15Speaker 02

  First of all, I've had it. My mom made it.

• 24:17Speaker 03

  And?

• 24:17Speaker 02

  It was, alright, yeah.

• 24:20Speaker 03

  Thanks.

• 24:22Speaker 02

  It's kinda like meat and...

• 24:23Speaker 03

  Gulag.

• 24:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:24Speaker 03

  Russian prison.

• 24:25Speaker 02

  Call of Duty, right.

• 24:26Speaker 03

  Galoshes are rain boots.

• 24:30Speaker 02

  Oh. I don't know if I have a...

• 24:33Speaker 03

  You don't need them.

• 24:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:34Speaker 03

  Go put your dogs in the fucking, fucking earth. That's what I'm talking about. Release your little feeties, feel the grass in your toes. You can do it in your front yard. You can do it in your backyard. Cut me off.

• 24:52Speaker 02

  Come on. Come on. Cut me off.

• 24:55Speaker 03

  Cut me off.

• 24:55Speaker 02

  Cut him off, cut him off.

• 24:56Speaker 03

  You got it.

• 24:57Speaker 02

  Cut his mic.

• 24:58Speaker 03

  This is where I needed to step in and take over.

• 25:00Speaker 02

  I mean, once you said something, I was like, oh, we're getting somewhere. I didn't know where it was gonna end.

• 25:04Speaker 03

  It was going really good. If you rhymed at the end, I feel like we would've gotten applause.

• 25:08Speaker 02

  Alright, alright. Yeah, that would've, that fell off a cliff, I will say.

• 25:11Speaker 03

  Let, let your...

• 25:12Speaker 02

  Don't try, don't try.

• 25:13Speaker 03

  ...out in the yard.

• 25:14Speaker 02

  You're already burning and crashed.

• 25:15Speaker 03

  Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

• 25:16Speaker 02

  You can't drive a car crash.

• 25:17Speaker 03

  You can't dr- you can drive a car crash if there's still a little bit of life left in it.

• 25:21Speaker 02

  There isn't.

• 25:21Speaker 03

  And I'm still, I'm still...

• 25:22Speaker 02

  There isn't.

• 25:23Speaker 03

  I'm just saying, like, just go and just step outside. I know you, you don't have grass.

• 25:29Speaker 02

  It's not that hard.

• 25:31Speaker 03

  What?

• 25:31Speaker 02

  That's what would rhyme with yard.

• 25:37Speaker 03

  I don't know what you're... Yeah, let's, let's write...

• 25:41Speaker 02

  Why are we hyping on this song?

• 25:43Speaker 03

  You know what? You know what? You know what? Let's, you and I, let's write the messy fall anthem.

• 25:49Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 25:49Speaker 03

  Natasha Beddingfield, this, this is getting out of hand. She will allow us...

• 25:53Speaker 02

  Frank, you know this isn't gonna happen.

• 25:55Speaker 03

  She will allow us the creative freedom... To write our own song loosely based off of unwritten. But it's about walking barefoot on grass in the fall when the soft grass is out still and the dirt is soft.

• 26:12Speaker 02

  Yeah. Okay. We do have sponsors for the show today.

• 26:17Speaker 03

  I wonder who one of them is.

• 26:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:21Speaker 02

  I wonder who it could be. We have Happy Thursday here, folks, okay? Happy Thursday, how you doing, right here, right on the desk? Uh, but they are bubble-free, so they're non-carbonated spiked refreshers, and they taste amazing. Which one is this? This is strawberry. This one is delicious, actually. I've had that one, raspberry dragon fruit. And, uh, what's that one?

• 26:40Speaker 04

  Pineapple star fruit.

• 26:41Speaker 02

  Pineapple star fruit? These are not, I mean, that is not a common flavor that you have anywhere, so... Uh, they have that. They also have mango passion fruit. Two things that if I see them in a drink, I am getting it, okay? Uh, but they're smooth, they're easy, 4.4% alcohol, uh, naturally flavored, and like I said, non-carbonated, so they taste really good and they go down easy. It's not gonna make you all, like, bloated or whatever, you know what I mean? So, no fuss, no fizz, uh, delicious. Um, but to find out more, and to find a Happy Thursday near you, visit drinkhappythursday.com/basement. That is drinkhappythursday.com/basement, okay? Celebrate responsibly, non-carbonated, naturally flavored with other natural flavors.

• 27:25Speaker 02

  21+, contains alcohol, um, so yeah. Can't have it unless you're 21+, uh, because these are alcoholic, but they are delicious, non-carbonated Happy Thursdays. So, enjoy that. And, we also have, uh, BetterHelp, BetterHelp. This, this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, which is online therapy. Uh, you can get in contact with a therapist in just under 48 hours, so it's a quick turnaround. They make the onboarding process very easy. Uh, it's also very easy to switch from therapist to therapist until you find the right fit for you. Someone who meshes with you, that you vibe with, that's a very important part of therapy. Can be very awkward if you kinda feel like this person doesn't understand you, so... It's very helpful.

• 28:04Speaker 02

  But yeah, there's a lot of people that signed up with BetterHelp that have reached out and said that it's helped them. And the biggest thing about it, in my opinion, is that they make it more affordable than in-person therapy, which is very expensive, even with the right insurance. But even, a lot of therapists don't take insurances, so it's very expensive. But BetterHelp is more affordable, and you can save 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/basementyard. So that is BetterHelp, spelled B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash basementyard, to get 10% off of that first month. So, get to it, folks.

• 28:38Speaker 03

  And whatever journey you're on, whether it be personal wellness... What?

• 28:41Speaker 02

  What? Personal wellness?

• 28:44Speaker 03

  Whatever journey you're on, thank you for being along the ride with us here at Sandig Out of Studios and The Basement Yard. And if you want to continue to contribute and maybe get a little more bang for your buck, go over to patreon.com/thebasementyard. I tell you about it every single week. And honestly, now is the time to join. Why? Because every time is the time to join. What do they say? When's the first ti... when's the best time to plant a tree? 20 years ago. The second best time today. When's the best time to join the Patreon? Years ago. When's the next best time? Right now. So go check it out. Patreon.com/thebasementyard. You sign up for that first tier, you get these weekly episodes one week in advance. You get exclusive content if you sign up for that second tier every single Friday. So you get two episodes of The Basement Yard every single week, and one of those episodes is a week in advance. We're trying to do what we can to make you

• 29:26Speaker 03

  happy, and you seem to like us. Thank you for getting us over 34,000 paid patrons. It means so much to us. We are consistently moving in the right direction, and your help and support is allowing us to do some cool things here. So thank you so much. Go to patreon.com/thebasementyard if you want to sign up. And if you want to save yourself a couple bucks while you're doing it, go to the web browser version of it. Go onto a web browser, whatever, Internet Explorer, uh, uh, Chrome, well, give me another one, Safari.

• 29:56Speaker 02

  You don't need more.

• 29:57Speaker 03

  Yeah. Go to the web, go to, type in patreon.com/thebasementyard and sign up on there. If you use the smart app, whether it be on the Google Play Store or the Apple Store, they're going to charge you a couple extra bucks. So save yourself money. Patreon.com/thebasementyard. Thank you. We love you. We appreciate you. Now, also, if you're coming to any of The Basement Yard shows... There's not much left. I don't know. I don't know. Honestly, by the time this comes out, I'm not sure exactly what is left, but go check out thebasementyard.com, see if there are any tickets left. There might be some available still for MSG, maybe some of the other shows, but check it out. We'd love to have you there. The shows have been so incredibly fun. We are so excited for the upcoming shows. As of recording, we have a couple and then, you know, MSG is right around the corner.

• 30:39Speaker 03

  And if you're coming to any of those shows already, you already got tickets, go to thebasementyard.com/submit. There's a portion of our show that we'd like it to be interactive. We talk to you, about you, with you. You submit cool, interesting, crazy, insane stories, and if we pick them, we talk at the end of the show about them, and they're nuts. They've spawned some of the coolest, you know, conversations and funniest moments of these shows. So go check it out. If you're coming to any of the shows, thebasementyard.com/submit. Let us know what show you're coming to, and then submit your responses. All right? We love you. We appreciate you. We miss you. Yeah.

• 31:12Speaker 02

  All right, fellas. It's that time of the week again.

• 31:27Speaker 03

  Who made that?

• 31:28Speaker 02

  Shout out to... His name is Jacob Ullery.

• 31:32Speaker 03

  Dude, that's awesome!

• 31:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's great. He's the one who always makes the, like...

• 31:36Speaker 03

  The singing ones?

• 31:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:37Speaker 03

  That's incredible!

• 31:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's the man.

• 31:38Speaker 03

  That sounds like... That sounds like something.

• 31:42Speaker 02

  Magic is what it sounds like.

• 31:44Speaker 03

  It does sound like magic.

• 31:45Speaker 04

  So does that mean I have a theme song?

• 31:46Speaker 03

  Technically, yeah. We don't even have one.

• 31:48Speaker 02

  What's the ant question?

• 31:49Speaker 04

  I'm supposed to have a question?

• 31:50Speaker 03

  Yeah! Well, if we play ant question...

• 31:53Speaker 02

  You have an ant question!

• 31:54Speaker 03

  If we play ant question, you need to have ant question.

• 31:56Speaker 04

  I'm kidding, I have it. So it's a little more of a scenario, but let's say this. You're in a pitch black field 40 meters away from a gunman.

• 32:04Speaker 02

  Can we go American feet?

• 32:07Speaker 03

  120.

• 32:08Speaker 04

  120 feet away from a gunman.

• 32:10Speaker 03

  And change.

• 32:11Speaker 04

  And change. He can't see you, he can't hear you, and he's gonna fire a...

• 32:15Speaker 03

  Well, it's gotta be an American, because he's got a gun.

• 32:18Speaker 04

  That's fair. Um, he can't see you and he's gonna fire off one bullet at a time. You get a million dollars for each bullet he shoots. How many?

• 32:25Speaker 02

  It's just me and him out there?

• 32:25Speaker 04

  Just me and you.

• 32:26Speaker 03

  Can I lay down?

• 32:27Speaker 02

  Me and you? Oh, you're the gunman?

• 32:28Speaker 04

  I guess it's me. No, yeah.

• 32:30Speaker 03

  Can I lay down?

• 32:31Speaker 04

  You could only stand. You can't crouch or lay down.

• 32:33Speaker 02

  Oh, can I turn sideways?

• 32:35Speaker 04

  No, you gotta face him. You gotta face him head on.

• 32:37Speaker 02

  Okay, fine.

• 32:37Speaker 03

  You gotta be face to face.

• 32:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 32:39Speaker 03

  Can I, I have to be within, I have to be exactly 120 feet away from him.

• 32:45Speaker 04

  You could get-

• 32:46Speaker 02

  You could be closer.

• 32:46Speaker 04

  You could get closer, but just not further.

• 32:48Speaker 03

  Why would I do that?

• 32:49Speaker 02

  Well, it depends where he's standing. Maybe I'll get behind him.

• 32:53Speaker 04

  You can't see him either.

• 32:53Speaker 03

  I imagine that you've got to set up within like 180 degrees, straight line.

• 32:57Speaker 02

  I mean, I'm letting him fire off a couple.

• 33:00Speaker 04

  Really?

• 33:00Speaker 03

  Wait, how much do you get per bullet?

• 33:02Speaker 04

  A million.

• 33:05Speaker 02

  I'd let him shoot one. There's no way.

• 33:06Speaker 03

  Do I have to stand in the exact same spot every single time?

• 33:09Speaker 04

  Um, let's say you can move around after each round, or you could stay there.

• 33:13Speaker 02

  Ooh. Am I also not able to hear? Cause if he shoots in a direction, can I be like, I'm gonna go stand over there now?

• 33:19Speaker 03

  You can, you- I mean, I don't think you're gonna be able, it's 120 feet, like a shot's gonna sound like a shot. You're not gonna hear it like whizz by and be like, zzzwoop, oh, it was over there.

• 33:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's fair.

• 33:28Speaker 04

  If you heard it whizz by, I think it's better to stay in that spot, probably.

• 33:31Speaker 02

  Um, it would be hard to-

• 33:33Speaker 03

  Well, no, I think the, the rule of like, if you, I mean, there's an unlimited amount, unlimited. There's an unlimited amount of-

• 33:45Speaker 03

  Why the face? You don't know that?

• 33:46Speaker 04

  Cause now I don't know if you said unlimited or-

• 33:48Speaker 03

  Unlimited. Miss unlimited.

• 33:53Speaker 03

  There's an unlimited amount of places that he could shoot, but in theory,

• 33:59Speaker 03

  on the second one, it would be minus one. So unlimited minus one.

• 34:04Speaker 02

  Well, he could still shoot in the same area.

• 34:06Speaker 03

  He could still shoot in the same area.

• 34:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:07Speaker 03

  But you are banking on the possibility that like, if I shoot here, my next shot will not be there again. It'll be anywhere else.

• 34:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean-

• 34:18Speaker 03

  Yep, that's, just so you know, what I just said contributed nothing-

• 34:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, to any part of this. You like doing that.

• 34:25Speaker 03

  I do a little bit.

• 34:28Speaker 02

  I, I, I think I would like, if, I can't see.

• 34:33Speaker 04

  You let's, I mean, it's pitch black, so you know, you can't.

• 34:35Speaker 02

  Okay. I think that if I survived one shot and I felt like that wasn't even near me, it would be hard not to let one more go. I'm not going over three shots though.

• 34:45Speaker 03

  Well, a million dollars, tax free.

• 34:48Speaker 04

  Sure, you could have your taxes.

• 34:49Speaker 02

  What if I get shot and survive? I get that mill?

• 34:50Speaker 04

  You, you get that mill.

• 34:51Speaker 02

  Oh, you do?

• 34:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, sure. And, and you could keep going, I guess, if it's not fatal, if you really want.

• 34:55Speaker 03

  I mean, I, I imagine, once you get shot once, you're done.

• 34:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, I stub my toe and I'll be down. So, I don't know. Hmm. I'd probably let one go.

• 35:05Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 35:05Speaker 04

  I think I'll do the clip.

• 35:07Speaker 02

  I don't know if I know how far a hundred and twenty feet is.

• 35:11Speaker 04

  Do you, should we look it up, like a range?

• 35:12Speaker 02

  No, no, no, I'm saying, I'm saying like, in, like, right now, like, how far is that wall?

• 35:16Speaker 04

  I would say that's maybe like twenty.

• 35:19Speaker 00

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• 35:45Speaker 04

  Five feet?

• 35:46Speaker 03

  Oh, really?

• 35:47Speaker 04

  Oh, that's far.

• 35:48Speaker 03

  You think that's twenty?

• 35:49Speaker 04

  Oh, how wide are we going? It's a field. Let's say it's a football field. He's in the center.

• 35:54Speaker 03

  Oh, dude.

• 35:54Speaker 04

  Oh, football field? Let's say he's in the center.

• 35:57Speaker 02

  He's at half field? Why am I saying that? Midfield?

• 36:00Speaker 04

  Cause I think that's, that's close to a hundred, to a hundred twenty each side, right?

• 36:05Speaker 02

  Uh.

• 36:06Speaker 04

  A football field is a hundred twenty yards. Yeah, so.

• 36:08Speaker 03

  A cross?

• 36:09Speaker 02

  Well, if you include the end zones.

• 36:10Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no, no, he means, it's like, I think it's fifty-two yards, yeah.

• 36:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:14Speaker 03

  So, he's got twenty-six yards on either side.

• 36:17Speaker 02

  Oh, God. I mean, that's pretty big, dude. Definitely letting him shoot.

• 36:21Speaker 03

  Hundred twenty feet, so what, that's what, how many, uh, forty, so he's on the sixty-yard line?

• 36:26Speaker 02

  Regardless, I'm letting him.

• 36:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, we don't, it doesn't have to be on a football field, but like, but like, yes, that range.

• 36:30Speaker 03

  Helping me understand it, man.

• 36:32Speaker 02

  I think, I, I think I'm, hmm, I'd probably shoot twice and be like, okay, I'm getting out of here. But like, two.

• 36:38Speaker 04

  I think, I think.

• 36:40Speaker 02

  He would also have to get me in the face for it to be like, and then like then like that's bad luck.

• 36:43Speaker 03

  There are other parts of your body that if he shoots you that you will die instantly.

• 36:47Speaker 02

  Not if we have EMS on site.

• 36:49Speaker 03

  Nope, it will get ya.

• 36:51Speaker 02

  What's the stuff, you ever see movies where like they take um?

• 36:54Speaker 03

  Like tampons?

• 36:55Speaker 02

  Oh, no, no, no, it's like a, a black, uh, powder and they shove it in there and they like kinda hold it in.

• 37:00Speaker 03

  I've never seen that.

• 37:01Speaker 02

  And it's like, alright, get it, hold it. And like, uh, what's the word that coagulates it? No.

• 37:06Speaker 03

  I don't, I don't know what movies you're watching Joey, I've ne-

• 37:08Speaker 02

  War movies.

• 37:10Speaker 04

  You talking about when they put gunpowder in it?

• 37:12Speaker 02

  Does that help?

• 37:13Speaker 04

  Corderizes it?

• 37:14Speaker 03

  I-

• 37:14Speaker 02

  No, that's like with hot.

• 37:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, they light it on fire.

• 37:18Speaker 02

  Ooh.

• 37:18Speaker 02

  Is that what they're doing?

• 37:19Speaker 04

  You're not supposed to do that though. Rambo did that once.

• 37:22Speaker 03

  Oh, well, yeah, if Rambo did it.

• 37:24Speaker 02

  It's gotta work.

• 37:25Speaker 03

  It's gotta work. I think, because I'm not a gambling man, especially with my life.

• 37:31Speaker 02

  Right.

• 37:33Speaker 03

  I think I'm letting two shots off. Two million dollars?

• 37:36Speaker 02

  That's gambling with your life.

• 37:37Speaker 03

  I know, but like, that's, like, I would definitely do one.

• 37:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:42Speaker 03

  I would definitely do one because it's just, that's a million dollars. And the chances of me getting hit are so-

• 37:47Speaker 02

  Very slim.

• 37:48Speaker 03

  So slim. I think after two, I would be like, I already have two. Like, I, I'm good. Like, I don't need more than that.

• 37:58Speaker 02

  I already know your answer. It's gonna be hot.

• 38:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, he just said he's gonna let the full clip go.

• 38:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, sixteen?

• 38:03Speaker 03

  Sixteen, is that how much it is? A handgun is six.

• 38:05Speaker 02

  I thought it was nine. We don't know guns.

• 38:09Speaker 03

  There you go.

• 38:10Speaker 02

  I, I thought a clip was sixteen. I mean, if you're doing like a fucking Dirty Harry, it's like six shots.

• 38:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, I would, I would imagine we would go a standard, like, it doesn't matter how many shots it is.

• 38:21Speaker 04

  Oh no, it matters three.

• 38:21Speaker 03

  Because they can reload.

• 38:23Speaker 04

  No, no, yeah, but I'm just saying one.

• 38:24Speaker 02

  What about like a three fifty-seven mag- magnum?

• 38:27Speaker 04

  Oh, that would do me. That'd be it.

• 38:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:29Speaker 02

  Any of the bullets would be it.

• 38:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, but that's a big one.

• 38:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, three, Joey.

• 38:33Speaker 04

  Just empty the clip on me.

• 38:34Speaker 03

  Well, not on you, I think that's the idea.

• 38:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's fine. It's a cool story too. Like dude, he had, he had nine bullets, couldn't get me once.

• 38:42Speaker 03

  No, I-

• 38:42Speaker 02

  Who's that a cool story for?

• 38:44Speaker 03

  The grave?

• 38:45Speaker 02

  No.

• 38:46Speaker 03

  The obit?

• 38:46Speaker 02

  No, if I-

• 38:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're gonna tell God that when you're dead?

• 38:48Speaker 04

  No, he'd probably make fun of me.

• 38:50Speaker 02

  That's true.

• 38:51Speaker 03

  Who, God?

• 38:51Speaker 04

  If, if I got up there, it's like this.

• 38:52Speaker 03

  I mean, I was gonna say, there might be some other reasons you might not even get to talk to the, the corporeal form.

• 38:57Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 38:57Speaker 04

  It could be true.

• 38:59Speaker 03

  I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm right there with you bud.

• 39:02Speaker 02

  I'll be up there.

• 39:03Speaker 03

  You think so?

• 39:05Speaker 02

  Heaven?

• 39:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:06Speaker 02

  Bro, I went to church until 8th grade. He knows me.

• 39:08Speaker 04

  So did I.

• 39:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, Joey. There's things that happened while you were going to church that I think would have disqualified you.

• 39:15Speaker 02

  What did I do?

• 39:16Speaker 03

  There were things that you did?

• 39:18Speaker 02

  That I'm going to hell?

• 39:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:19Speaker 02

  Oh, you're talking about like premarital?

• 39:20Speaker 03

  Sure, that's one of them.

• 39:22Speaker 02

  I didn't have sex before 8th grade.

• 39:23Speaker 03

  I didn't say then, Joey.

• 39:25Speaker 02

  He knows that I'm, he knows that I'm doing it.

• 39:27Speaker 03

  I'm saying now.

• 39:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:29Speaker 03

  You're doing sex, dude.

• 39:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's bad.

• 39:31Speaker 03

  You've done sex before.

• 39:32Speaker 02

  He forgives that. We're all doing it.

• 39:34Speaker 03

  Yeah. I mean, you have to apologize.

• 39:38Speaker 02

  Sure, I'll say Hail Mary.

• 39:40Speaker 04

  Probably too.

• 39:41Speaker 02

  Did you do your confession? Oh, not confession. What's that called? Confirmation?

• 39:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm confirmed.

• 39:45Speaker 02

  What was your confirmation name?

• 39:46Speaker 04

  James.

• 39:49Speaker 02

  And did you, like, when you, you know, you go, uh, I don't know if that's communion or confirmation where you have to go and then it's like you do confession and they, they give you homework and they're like, say, 10 Hail Marys or something like that?

• 40:01Speaker 04

  That's confession.

• 40:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know, but I don't know which one that is a part of, but like, have you done that?

• 40:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:06Speaker 02

  And what did they, do you know, do you remember how many prayers you had to do?

• 40:09Speaker 04

  I think I did two Hail, two All-Fathers and one Hail Mary.

• 40:12Speaker 02

  Which is such a funny thing. There was one, it's called the Act of Contrition. No one knows it. It's a long one, and I don't know it. It's not one of the popular ones. You know the Our Father, probably.

• 40:21Speaker 03

  Our Father, who, we've, we've got.

• 40:24Speaker 02

  We've established that it's not who does art.

• 40:26Speaker 03

  In heaven, Halloween be thy name.

• 40:28Speaker 02

  You know that's not it either.

• 40:30Speaker 03

  Hallowed be thy name, my kingdom come.

• 40:33Speaker 02

  It's thy kingdom come.

• 40:34Speaker 03

  Thy kingdom come.

• 40:35Speaker 02

  Cause you don't have a kingdom.

• 40:36Speaker 03

  I mean, technically I do.

• 40:37Speaker 02

  Technically, you have a house.

• 40:38Speaker 03

  I have a home and a family. That's my kingdom.

• 40:40Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 40:40Speaker 03

  Okay?

• 40:41Speaker 02

  So my kingdom come.

• 40:43Speaker 03

  My will, thy will be done, I will be done.

• 40:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:46Speaker 03

  On earth as it is in heaven.

• 40:48Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 40:49Speaker 03

  Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses. As we forgive those who trespass against us.

• 40:55Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 40:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:56Speaker 03

  And deliver us to temptation, but not from evil or something like that?

• 40:59Speaker 02

  Why would we go to temptation?

• 41:00Speaker 03

  Or remove us from temptation.

• 41:02Speaker 02

  Deliver us from temptation.

• 41:04Speaker 03

  Deliver us from temptation.

• 41:06Speaker 02

  Wait, what is it? Now I, now you got me.

• 41:07Speaker 03

  I honestly, I'm shocked I got here.

• 41:10Speaker 02

  The only reason why you know this is probably because you were in my house, right?

• 41:13Speaker 03

  No, you guys weren't doing a lot of hail mary. The only reason I know Catholic grace is because of you.

• 41:17Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, yeah.

• 41:18Speaker 03

  You know?

• 41:18Speaker 02

  But how do you know our father then?

• 41:20Speaker 03

  I went to Sunday school for a couple of years.

• 41:21Speaker 02

  Did you?

• 41:22Speaker 03

  Yeah. Not many.

• 41:24Speaker 02

  Were we in the same class? We had to have been in the same class.

• 41:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:26Speaker 02

  Really?

• 41:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, not many.

• 41:27Speaker 02

  I don't remember that.

• 41:28Speaker 03

  You were the poster boy dude of Sunday school.

• 41:30Speaker 02

  No, my Sunday school teacher hated me.

• 41:32Speaker 03

  No, they loved you.

• 41:33Speaker 02

  She heard me say fuck at Alex's house.

• 41:34Speaker 03

  Well, she was upset with you, but you apologized.

• 41:36Speaker 02

  I, I didn't. Why would I apologize?

• 41:38Speaker 03

  You apologized?

• 41:39Speaker 02

  Well, I didn't even know that she was talking about me. I got to class and she was like, some people in here have a potty mouth.

• 41:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, Joey, people love... You were the poster child for Sunday school.

• 41:48Speaker 02

  Frank, you weren't even there.

• 41:51Speaker 03

  I was there for like two or three years. I hated it.

• 41:54Speaker 02

  Two or three years?

• 41:55Speaker 03

  I'm just letting you know. Listen, church. I know you're listening.

• 41:59Speaker 02

  Now you're speaking directly to the church.

• 42:01Speaker 03

  I'm speaking directly to the church.

• 42:02Speaker 02

  The Catholic church.

• 42:03Speaker 03

  The Catholic, oh, any church.

• 42:04Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 42:06Speaker 03

  No, actually, it's the Catholic one I'm speaking to. I should probably not talk to them.

• 42:09Speaker 02

  You're gonna talk to all the other churches?

• 42:10Speaker 03

  I probably shouldn't.

• 42:11Speaker 02

  Why shouldn't you talk to them?

• 42:12Speaker 03

  Well, it, I, it's...

• 42:16Speaker 02

  Say it.

• 42:17Speaker 03

  I just, I'm not qualified. I don't wanna, I don't wanna...

• 42:20Speaker 02

  You're not qualified to talk to the church?

• 42:21Speaker 03

  I don't wanna insult anybody.

• 42:23Speaker 02

  It feels like you're about to.

• 42:24Speaker 03

  Please, please, please stop. No. School on a Sunday morning is nuts.

• 42:30Speaker 02

  Well, the idea...

• 42:31Speaker 03

  I understand. It's, it's, it's the Lord's day. I understand.

• 42:34Speaker 02

  But everyone's going to church anyway.

• 42:35Speaker 03

  I understand who, the, the Lord's day. You gotta understa- you gotta know that that's, like, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're setting, you're setting yourself up for failure. Well, Sunday, 8 a.m., be there.

• 42:47Speaker 02

  What time was Sunday school?

• 42:49Speaker 03

  It was like 10 to like 12.

• 42:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. But I would much rather be in Sunday school than church back then. I was like, church sucks.

• 42:56Speaker 03

  Couldn't do it. Couldn't do it. What were we talking about?

• 43:00Speaker 02

  I don't know. We're on Ca- Catholicism.

• 43:02Speaker 03

  How did we get to Catholicism from Ant shooting a gun into a room at us?

• 43:07Speaker 02

  Something about God, you were meeting your maker and stuff like that.

• 43:10Speaker 04

  Oh yeah, no, I wouldn't be or something, but you would let us in. You would give us, you would give a, put a good word in for us.

• 43:15Speaker 03

  Oh, you'd be like, you'd be like the, the promoters at like the team clubs. I'd be like, yo, he's with me.

• 43:20Speaker 02

  Say, say, say my promo code at the door.

• 43:22Speaker 03

  Say my, say promo code Joe Spotlight.

• 43:25Speaker 02

  Joe Spotlight?

• 43:26Speaker 03

  The Spotlight, Spotlight Entertainment Joe.

• 43:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, um, I would probably let off two shots, get that two mil and then I'm out of there.

• 43:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think-

• 43:37Speaker 02

  We should film this video though, with like a paintball gun.

• 43:39Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 43:40Speaker 03

  I was gonna say.

• 43:42Speaker 02

  Well, none of us have a gun. Um, but, uh, I think we should film that video. I think that'd be cool.

• 43:49Speaker 03

  What would we use?

• 43:50Speaker 02

  I haven't shot with a, yeah, I haven't been shot with a paintball gun in a while.

• 43:52Speaker 03

  A BB gun.

• 43:54Speaker 02

  A BB gun?

• 43:55Speaker 03

  A BB gun.

• 43:56Speaker 02

  I haven't even like seen a BB gun, since like 2000.

• 43:59Speaker 03

  I've seen BB guns.

• 44:00Speaker 02

  Where?

• 44:01Speaker 04

  We would all be in a pitch black.

• 44:03Speaker 02

  We, well, it's not gonna be pitch black.

• 44:05Speaker 03

  Blindfolded shooter. We should get the Orbeez guns.

• 44:09Speaker 02

  What is that? Oh, I know what Orbeez are, but like-

• 44:11Speaker 03

  They're, they're, they look like-

• 44:13Speaker 02

  Will they hurt?

• 44:14Speaker 03

  Guns.

• 44:14Speaker 02

  I want it to hurt.

• 44:15Speaker 03

  You want it to hurt?

• 44:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:16Speaker 03

  Oh, alright, so then we'll, I guess we'll do-

• 44:18Speaker 02

  Paintball.

• 44:20Speaker 03

  This is scary.

• 44:21Speaker 02

  You need some fear.

• 44:22Speaker 03

  This is, you need some fear?

• 44:24Speaker 02

  I mean, you're gonna wear a he- well, you're gonna hear, well, you're gonna wear a helmet, a face mask and shit.

• 44:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:28Speaker 02

  And cover your little Polinos.

• 44:31Speaker 03

  Don't talk about my Polinos, okay?

• 44:36Speaker 04

  What is the-

• 44:36Speaker 03

  But if it's a, see, here's the thing, if it's a real gun, that's different than a paintball gun. Bro, if it's a paintball gun, you can shoot me in the fucking face.

• 44:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, okay, so we'll do, each shot is a hundred dollars, like, whatever.

• 44:54Speaker 03

  I'm not leaving that room, brother.

• 44:55Speaker 02

  Okay, but if you, if you get shot, like if you were like, oh, like you, three shots, and now you're like, I have 300 bucks, like I'm chilling. But if you eventually get shot before you cash out, then you owe the gunman that money.

• 45:08Speaker 03

  So wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. So, let's say, I get, I'm in the room and someone lets off six shots, 600 bucks. On the seventh shot, if I get hit, I owe them 700 bucks?

• 45:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:19Speaker 03

  I'm not doing that.

• 45:21Speaker 02

  Well, this is the dilemma.

• 45:22Speaker 03

  I'm not doing that.

• 45:23Speaker 02

  Ever? Like, nothing?

• 45:25Speaker 04

  You were about to sacrifice your life for two shots.

• 45:28Speaker 03

  For $2 million?

• 45:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:30Speaker 04

  I guess so.

• 45:31Speaker 03

  But I don't want to pay someone. Pay me.

• 45:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, that's why you gotta be strategic.

• 45:37Speaker 04

  I'll get a thousand, get out of there.

• 45:40Speaker 04

  How do I tap out? Just tap out?

• 45:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're just like, I'm done, I'm done.

• 45:43Speaker 03

  If it's a paintball, if it's paintballs, I, I'm staying in that room for a while.

• 45:47Speaker 02

  I think if you get shot in the face, that's double.

• 45:49Speaker 04

  Who's shooting?

• 45:50Speaker 02

  I think that whoever wants to shoot.

• 45:53Speaker 03

  I'm a good shot, although I'll be blindfolded, doesn't matter how good of a shot you are.

• 45:58Speaker 04

  I'll do it.

• 45:59Speaker 02

  You'd do what?

• 46:00Speaker 04

  Whichever.

• 46:03Speaker 04

  I think we should do this video, I think that would be cool. Okay, we can set it up.

• 46:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:07Speaker 03

  This is gonna be hysterical, because who are you gonna get in that room?

• 46:11Speaker 04

  We should just do a metal baby.

• 46:13Speaker 02

  I feel like that's worse.

• 46:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, exactly.

• 46:16Speaker 03

  You gotta be careful with metal baby.

• 46:17Speaker 02

  Dude, you're into BDSM, aren't you?

• 46:19Speaker 04

  No, I'm just saying, I wouldn't be-

• 46:20Speaker 02

  You're a little masochist, you wanna be taped up?

• 46:22Speaker 03

  He has to turn it up. He has to, he has to bring it to the-

• 46:25Speaker 02

  How about we chain up our, our wrists and then slap some duct tape on our tits?

• 46:30Speaker 03

  What if we use an actual gun?

• 46:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:32Speaker 03

  That's what I can see you saying.

• 46:33Speaker 02

  No, that's too much.

• 46:34Speaker 03

  What if we do it shirtless? That's what you would say.

• 46:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:37Speaker 03

  That, that's what you would say. And then you would say like, "The loser has to eat this fire cheese ball."

• 46:42Speaker 04

  Or we tape those squeaky chickens to your feet, and you have to run around.

• 46:46Speaker 03

  That'd be funny. Oh, no, no, no.

• 46:48Speaker 04

  So the gunman can hear it.

• 46:48Speaker 03

  They have to hold it in their mouth. They have to hold it in their ass, so if they get hit, it's like, "Argh!"

• 46:54Speaker 04

  I meant more as a-

• 46:54Speaker 03

  That's the worst-

• 46:57Speaker 03

  I'm not kidding.

• 46:59Speaker 02

  What is happening?

• 46:59Speaker 03

  That's the worst contribution I've ever had to this show, ever.

• 47:02Speaker 02

  Are you talking about like, the, the rubber chickens?

• 47:04Speaker 04

  Like the, the yellow chickens? Yeah, if you tape them to your feet, and when they run around, the gunman can hear them, and then they stop, it's like-

• 47:11Speaker 02

  But why, then why would you run?

• 47:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, why would you move at all?

• 47:14Speaker 04

  Well, let's say you have to move every time.

• 47:16Speaker 02

  No, no, then I'm not doing it.

• 47:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, that would make it too easy for the gunman.

• 47:20Speaker 04

  Too easy, it's blindfolded.

• 47:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, but if you hear a general direction of where they are-

• 47:25Speaker 04

  But there's six of them.

• 47:27Speaker 03

  Then you're-

• 47:27Speaker 02

  Six, one what?

• 47:28Speaker 03

  Someone's getting hit.

• 47:28Speaker 04

  There's six of us in there.

• 47:29Speaker 02

  Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not doing this.

• 47:31Speaker 04

  Alright, fine, we'll, we'll, we'll workshop it, but we'll do it.

• 47:34Speaker 03

  I think-

• 47:37Speaker 02

  Figure it out.

• 47:37Speaker 03

  Realistically, if we were to do something like that, like paintball in a room or something like that-

• 47:44Speaker 03

  Ten shots.

• 47:45Speaker 02

  That's what you said, thousand dollars.

• 47:47Speaker 03

  I think I'm sticking around for ten.

• 47:49Speaker 02

  Might get clapped though.

• 47:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:53Speaker 02

  Where's the money come from? Also the gunman?

• 47:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:56Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 47:59Speaker 02

  Maybe Joe just shoots.

• 48:00Speaker 03

  Maybe I just shoot?

• 48:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I might get paid that. Oh, I have to pay the people? Like if I'm the gunman, like it's like I owe you?

• 48:07Speaker 02

  If they, if they get out, yeah.

• 48:09Speaker 03

  Oh, then why?

• 48:11Speaker 02

  I mean, you don't have to be the gunman. He's setting himself up to be the gunman and we just pay him. It's just a video, we're just paying him.

• 48:19Speaker 03

  He just wants to shoot us.

• 48:20Speaker 02

  No.

• 48:21Speaker 03

  I just take it off. Idiots. When's the last time you went paintballing?

• 48:26Speaker 02

  Uh, like right after high school. And it was a lot of fun. I love paintball so much.

• 48:30Speaker 03

  I like it too. Didn't we just have the conversation about paintball?

• 48:32Speaker 02

  Oh, we were in like somewhere talking about it. That like there's this place out in Long Island that has like a fucking plane.

• 48:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's just sick.

• 48:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, that would be fucking dope.

• 48:40Speaker 03

  That would be really, really cool. I was really good at paintball.

• 48:43Speaker 02

  Here we go.

• 48:44Speaker 03

  I'm no, I'm serious. I was really, really good. There was that, there was that, that paintball place in Long Island City, the indoor one, the speedball one?

• 48:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:50Speaker 03

  And like, I would go often with my brothers and like, cause it was like, if you only showed up with like two or three kids, they'd just put you with another party. And we got put with a group of like, like semi-pro players.

• 49:03Speaker 02

  And then you killed all of them and then you went to the president and you went to the White House and you like, you, you just, they built a monument of you in front of the whole thing and put your picture on the wall? And you were only eight years old and everyone else was like thirty-two?

• 49:16Speaker 02

  Paintball legend was sitting way here.

• 49:19Speaker 03

  You see what I gotta put up with? You see, I can't even tell a story without him fucking jumping down my throat.

• 49:25Speaker 02

  I used to go to the big game, they called it. And it was at Deer Park and there was helicopters and tanks. And it was like a hundred V a hundred.

• 49:32Speaker 03

  The big game? You wanna hear a story? Oh, this is a good one. Okay. We went once at the lake. We went, we did like the, like the kids versus the parents. We were like twelve at the time. And it was like me, my brothers, the Espos, Pat. And we played like six, so it was literally like, I think it was like eight on, seven or something like that, but like, there, there were two, two girls at the lake. I don't wanna say who they are, if I don't wanna give them away, but like you know who they are.

• 50:03Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 50:04Speaker 03

  Of an Irish family.

• 50:05Speaker 02

  I, yep.

• 50:06Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 50:08Speaker 03

  I couldn't stand them at the time.

• 50:09Speaker 02

  Irish people playing paintball is a dangerous game because they bruise like peaches.

• 50:13Speaker 03

  Dude, I couldn't stand them at the time. Not both of them, one of them I couldn't stand at the time because she was just annoying and mean and rude. So I said that day, I was a 12 year old. I said, I was like, yo. If this person is on the other team, like, I'm going to shoot them. Like, I'm going to, like, I'm going to get them.

• 50:31Speaker 02

  Well, that's the...

• 50:32Speaker 03

  I know, but like, it was like, I'm going to go out of my way to find this person. And I didn't. And we played like five games, and on the last game, they were just like, alright, how many ball, you guys have like 20 minutes left, so just play until you're done. But if you run out of bullets, put your hands in the air with your gun and just say, I'm out, and let them like walk across.

• 50:51Speaker 02

  Feel like I know where this is going.

• 50:52Speaker 03

  I'm behind a fucking log or a bunker or something. And I see them walking by with, it was the two of them and then one of our friend's moms.

• 51:03Speaker 03

  And I see them walking by and I look at my buddy Brian and I go. Now or never. And I fucking.

• 51:14Speaker 02

  Were they out of ammo?

• 51:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, they were out, yeah.

• 51:19Speaker 03

  I was, but shot an innocent civilian.

• 51:22Speaker 02

  Technically, that's what's happening.

• 51:24Speaker 03

  This person's dad was on the other team also and found out. He ran up to me. He got as close as you could get. And he shot me right on the inner thigh.

• 51:37Speaker 02

  Hell yeah.

• 51:39Speaker 03

  Like, I, I don't bruise or welt very easily. That was like the worst of the worst that I've ever gotten in my entire life. It just missed my Polino.

• 51:48Speaker 02

  Did he say something cool?

• 51:49Speaker 03

  Fuck you, probably, you know.

• 51:51Speaker 02

  I'm back, bang!

• 51:54Speaker 03

  Something like that.

• 51:54Speaker 02

  Big mistake.

• 51:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 51:56Speaker 02

  You're toast. You're toast.

• 51:58Speaker 03

  You're toast is a good one.

• 52:00Speaker 02

  That's a, I don't even know why.

• 52:01Speaker 03

  Here's daddy.

• 52:03Speaker 02

  That feels, now you're making it like a different kind of video.

• 52:06Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 52:08Speaker 02

  Here's daddy, here's this welt on your thigh. Jesus, take it easy.

• 52:11Speaker 03

  You did that.

• 52:12Speaker 02

  I know.

• 52:13Speaker 03

  You just did that.

• 52:13Speaker 02

  And we also have sponsors that I'm sure are gonna love that. Uh, but we do have, whoop, I just opened up FaceTime there for a second. Uh, we have some sponsors here. We have Simply Safe, okay? Simply Safe, this is a home security system. Um, but it's a game changer. They, uh, the agents that, you know, will monitor your house. They will take action while the intruder is still outside, not just before, you know, not just, uh, you know, while they're inside your place. Like if people are snooping around your house, they will know and they will take action, get the proper authorities there. There are no long-term contracts or hidden fees and you can cancel at any time, but they were named the best home security system,

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• 53:38Speaker 02

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• 53:58Speaker 02

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• 54:43Speaker 02

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• 55:27Speaker 02

  that there's like alien DNA and people that have claimed to be abducted. Does that, I mean, and this is like, you've heard the stories that people get abducted and then they get probed and, you know, for whatever reason, we don't know if it's for sport or if it's for research purposes, I have no idea.

• 55:46Speaker 03

  I mean-

• 55:47Speaker 02

  But that's a common thing.

• 55:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's like one of the well-known things about like alien abductions is like they're probing.

• 55:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:54Speaker 03

  Which, for those of you guys that don't know what that is, it, most of the time, it's sticking things in butts.

• 55:59Speaker 02

  Anally, yeah.

• 56:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 56:01Speaker 02

  But finding DNA, what is that?

• 56:04Speaker 03

  I mean, that's good.

• 56:05Speaker 02

  I know.

• 56:06Speaker 03

  Come on.

• 56:07Speaker 02

  There's traces of-

• 56:08Speaker 03

  What do you mean, what is that?

• 56:09Speaker 02

  But what is that? You, how do you know it's alien DNA? I guess it's like-

• 56:12Speaker 03

  I guess it's just like they can't, they can't tell. I'm, I'm, I mean, DNA is, you can tell if it's like from a, an animal, a human or something. So like if they're just like, what is his DNA? This person was abducted. The animal, the alien is...

• 56:28Speaker 02

  It feels like something happened.

• 56:29Speaker 03

  It seems like something is going on.

• 56:31Speaker 02

  I would, I mean, we actually spoke to someone on OPL that claimed to have been abducted. And the way that they talked about it, I found to be a little fascinating, actually, because it's... They were like, it feels so real to me, but in a logical mind, you're kind of like, that couldn't have happened. But it feels so real to them.

• 56:51Speaker 03

  Here's the thing, I have had, not recently, but like in my lifetime, I have had dreams where I've been like, whoa. Like, that felt...

• 57:01Speaker 02

  Real. But when you wake up, you're like, that was a dream.

• 57:05Speaker 03

  Or, or was it? You know, like, I...

• 57:07Speaker 02

  You've had that happen?

• 57:08Speaker 03

  I have, yeah, I've had, I've had that happen.

• 57:10Speaker 02

  Like, you're still unsure, I mean?

• 57:11Speaker 03

  No, I know it was a dream now, but like, to the benefit of hindsight now, like, of course, there wasn't a face in my wall looking at me and laughing while spitting up blue ooze. But like...

• 57:20Speaker 02

  That was it?

• 57:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, man, that, that episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark fucked me up.

• 57:25Speaker 02

  You were a child.

• 57:25Speaker 03

  I was a child.

• 57:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:27Speaker 03

  And I had it as a little, but what I'm saying, though, is that like, it takes me a couple of minutes, but like, I could imagine that there are people that have had dreams that have been so intense, to the point where it's like, they can't make the distinction whatsoever.

• 57:41Speaker 02

  Yeah. I mean, that happens to me sometimes, but I, I think that's just me being like paranoid. Like, sometimes I'll have a dream of like, this is a stupid example, I can't think of an example off the top of my head, but if I, if I had a dream that like, my leg got cut off or something, right? I would, sometimes I wake up and I like, just check my legs. You know, even though I wake up and I'm in my bed, I'm like, obviously that was not real, but I check...

• 58:04Speaker 03

  But like, but you got demons, right?

• 58:07Speaker 02

  I have demons?

• 58:07Speaker 03

  Like, what, sleep paralysis demons?

• 58:10Speaker 02

  I don't have that. That's not my experience with sleep paralysis. I do have that sometimes.

• 58:13Speaker 03

  There are people that have, it's, it's a well documented phenomena that like, people experience sleep paralysis demons.

• 58:19Speaker 02

  Has that happened to you?

• 58:20Speaker 03

  No, thank God.

• 58:20Speaker 02

  You get sleep paralysis?

• 58:21Speaker 03

  I've never, I have, I, I consider myself quite lucky, and I'm gonna knock on as much wood as I can. I have never experienced sleep paralysis, and I consider myself very lucky.

• 58:30Speaker 02

  It's happened to me three times. You have, but do you have like a figure that you see? Yeah, it was an old woman.

• 58:34Speaker 03

  Oh, oh, fuck that!

• 58:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:36Speaker 03

  I get, I get...

• 58:39Speaker 02

  Wait, hold on. You were, so what?

• 58:40Speaker 04

  I was, I was laying down on my back. And I was just like, my eyes opened. But I couldn't move.

• 58:47Speaker 02

  Right.

• 58:47Speaker 04

  And then like, this old woman was just like floating right here on top of me. And then like-

• 58:52Speaker 03

  What she looked like?

• 58:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, she was, it was very scary. And I couldn't-

• 58:56Speaker 02

  That was a dog.

• 58:57Speaker 04

  It makes sense. And I couldn't move, so like slowly, I was just like, "Uh huh."

• 59:05Speaker 04

  "Bitch."

• 59:07Speaker 02

  You used all your strength to call her a bitch?

• 59:09Speaker 04

  It's the only thing I could get out. It's the only thing I could get out.

• 59:12Speaker 03

  The only thing that you could think of as this old sleep woman demon is hovering over you is to insult her.

• 59:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's the only thing-

• 59:18Speaker 02

  Was she flying, or she was kinda leaning over?

• 59:20Speaker 04

  I don't, that part I don't know, but it felt like she was floating.

• 59:23Speaker 03

  Did she look like, did you watch the, the, the, what movies are those? Not The Conjuring, the other ones, the-

• 59:28Speaker 04

  Insidious?

• 59:29Speaker 03

  Insidious movies. She looked like that woman? Valick, I think is the name of that demon?

• 59:32Speaker 04

  No, no, she was old, like older. Valick's like a nun thing. She just looked like an old scary woman.

• 59:38Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 59:38Speaker 04

  And I just like, the only thing I could get out was like, "Bitch."

• 59:41Speaker 02

  What does it feel like when you come out of that? Cause that's not my experience with it.

• 59:45Speaker 04

  You like, finally, it doesn't, it's not all at once, but like, I can move my arm and then like, then, as soon as you could get one body part out, like, everything comes out. Your brain turns on.

• 59:54Speaker 02

  Got it. Well-

• 59:55Speaker 03

  That's crazy.

• 59:56Speaker 02

  For me, I, I, I never see anything, but it feels like I'm awake. But my eyes aren't open. Like, I can't see my room, but, but my mind is awake. And I can't see anything cause my eyes are closed, and I can't move. So then I start panicking and I feel like I can't breathe, so I'm trying to like, regulate my breathing, and then I'm trying to like move my leg like so hard. And it feels like I'm moving it like a, like a tiny bit. And then eventually when I come out of it, I come out of it all at once. And I'm like, "Oh god, thank you."

• 1:00:26Speaker 03

  I, I can, like I said, I consider myself very lucky that I never experienced that. I, I have during my life, experienced two things. One more frequently, this is gonna make sense to nobody, and it's so stupid sounding, but like, it's a very weird, one is like, I feel like I'm, this happened to me like a couple days ago. I feel like I'm moving at the speed of light. Like I feel- I'm not kidding.

• 1:00:49Speaker 02

  In your sleep?

• 1:00:50Speaker 03

  It, like, as I'm laying there, like, if I like blink or roll over or something, it feels like it's happening. At literal superhuman speed, like super speed.

• 1:01:01Speaker 02

  Super speed like you rolling over?

• 1:01:03Speaker 03

  Like whether I, like if I were to like do this, or like blink, or roll over or something, if I'm not.

• 1:01:08Speaker 02

  It's like you're.

• 1:01:09Speaker 03

  It feels like to me, like it is happening like The Flash.

• 1:01:14Speaker 02

  What the hell?

• 1:01:15Speaker 03

  Very weird. The other one, which is so weird, and I remember I used to get this as a kid, and it like very randomly happens. This is gonna make no sense, but it's called the sharp rounds. I call, it's not called that. I call it the.

• 1:01:30Speaker 02

  I was just about to.

• 1:01:32Speaker 03

  It's not called that. I call it the sharp rounds, where like, there's this feeling, and I can't, it's not like I'm touching anything. I'm not moving. It's just this feeling of like, things are round, but sharp at the same time. And like, if I were to like rub, rub my hand around like a pillow, it's a rounded pillow, but it feels like it's cutting my hand. It's so weird.

• 1:01:57Speaker 02

  But this is happening in your dreams?

• 1:01:59Speaker 03

  In my sleep, as I'm trying to fall asleep. I'm very, I consider myself very lucky. I fall asleep very easily.

• 1:02:05Speaker 02

  The sharp.

• 1:02:06Speaker 03

  I call it the sharp rounds, and I remember as a kid, and I, and, and like very, very randomly, rarely happens. I don't know the rhyme or reason.

• 1:02:13Speaker 02

  When's the last time you had the sharp rounds?

• 1:02:15Speaker 03

  Within the last like month.

• 1:02:17Speaker 02

  And, and.

• 1:02:18Speaker 03

  But like before that, years.

• 1:02:20Speaker 02

  But is that like in a dream, you're walking around and touching stuff?

• 1:02:23Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no. Like, I am, I know I'm actively trying to like, you know like.

• 1:02:27Speaker 02

  Fall asleep?

• 1:02:27Speaker 03

  You, you have to like pretend you're sleeping in order to fall asleep.

• 1:02:30Speaker 02

  Like you're, yeah, you're like in twilight.

• 1:02:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, there's just this feeling of just like, there's round things.

• 1:02:36Speaker 02

  Like your pillow?

• 1:02:38Speaker 03

  Whether it be the pillow, or just like, I can feel that there's something over there that's round but sharp. It's, it sounds so crazy.

• 1:02:44Speaker 02

  Oh, so you don't actually have to touch it?

• 1:02:45Speaker 03

  No, but like then I think about touching it, and I'm like, that's a sharp round, hence the name. It's so weird.

• 1:02:52Speaker 02

  What I was thinking was, maybe like, you don't realize that your hand's asleep, and you're touching something?

• 1:02:56Speaker 03

  But like, it's also, it is, but isn't a tactile thing. Like, I can imagine touch, touching something, and it, and it is that, but then I can also just think about it.

• 1:03:05Speaker 02

  You've never looked up this?

• 1:03:06Speaker 03

  I've never looked, I've never, I've also never shared this with anyone outside of Becca before.

• 1:03:11Speaker 02

  Oh, I had the sharp rounds last night. I feel honored, thank you.

• 1:03:15Speaker 03

  And now, all of the.

• 1:03:17Speaker 02

  Well, that's, that's. Interesting. I don't know if I have anything like that. When I, when I do have sleep paralysis though, and I get out of it, my body is so tired. It's almost like what I imagine anesthesia is like where I'm so tired and I-

• 1:03:34Speaker 00

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• 1:04:00Speaker 02

  Know that once I fall back asleep, it's gonna happen again. So I wake up and then I like can feel myself like, I'm like, I just, it's gonna happen again. I have to fall back asleep and I get it again.

• 1:04:09Speaker 03

  I'm gonna tell you something, not what anesthesia is like. Literally anesthesia is just like,

• 1:04:14Speaker 03

  like it's the blink of an eye.

• 1:04:15Speaker 02

  Well, I just imagine like, you know, the feeling of like you're getting tired and you're going. Like that's what it feels like.

• 1:04:21Speaker 03

  At least my experience with anesthesia was not like, oh, I'm getting sleepy here. I'm getting sleepy. It's literally like here, there, there. Like it's, and I know everyone's is different. Let me make that very clear.

• 1:04:33Speaker 02

  But it was like, I, I hate that. Cause I know it's gonna happen again.

• 1:04:36Speaker 04

  I had another one where I was facing the wall and just like this shadow was coming up the wall very slowly. And I was like, it just didn't feel right.

• 1:04:44Speaker 03

  You watched a lot of Goosebumps and horror movies.

• 1:04:46Speaker 04

  I'm a big horror guy.

• 1:04:47Speaker 03

  I love horror.

• 1:04:48Speaker 04

  But that one, I came out of like, oh no. Like that one, I was like, oh, that one was bad. Like that, like I had to get out of that one like now.

• 1:04:53Speaker 02

  You know what happens to me a lot because I'm blind, I have to take my contacts out and then I go to the bathroom and sometimes I'll walk out into my room and certain things look like other shit. Like it looks like a person standing there. If it's like a plant or like a jacket hanging or whatever and like, it, sometimes it like really freaks me out. Like I'm like, oh shit. And like it just gets me cause I'm just seeing like shapes. Like it's dark. I can't see like-

• 1:05:19Speaker 03

  But what do you think would be there?

• 1:05:21Speaker 02

  I, I, I don't know. Like it's just, sometimes it looks like someone bending over, like grabbing something or like, yeah, I don't know.

• 1:05:29Speaker 03

  Like you guys, well, you're in a house, you're in an apartment, but like you have one way in and out of your apartment. I have

• 1:05:36Speaker 02

  I'm not thinking about that, though.

• 1:05:38Speaker 03

  Oh, I am.

• 1:05:38Speaker 02

  In the middle of the night.

• 1:05:39Speaker 03

  I, well, once you have a house, you will, because you have front door, back door windows.

• 1:05:43Speaker 02

  Well, then, that's when I'll like, probably be like, oh, this really could be something.

• 1:05:46Speaker 03

  That's when you get simply safe.

• 1:05:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, exactly.

• 1:05:49Speaker 03

  Um, but yeah, all this stemming from the possibility that aliens are coming in people.

• 1:05:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's a tough one.

• 1:05:56Speaker 03

  That's insane. I, like, now that that information came out.

• 1:06:01Speaker 02

  Have you ever?

• 1:06:02Speaker 03

  I'm not telling anyone I got abducted.

• 1:06:03Speaker 02

  I, I mean, well, people were saying, when they get abducted, that they do get probed, they're like, it was a real thing. And the guy that we had talked to on Other People's Lives said that he vividly remembers being like, on a ship. Like, a door opening up and him being and like, seeing people around.

• 1:06:21Speaker 03

  Can I ask you a serious question?

• 1:06:22Speaker 02

  Can you imagine that?

• 1:06:23Speaker 03

  If you could opt into being abducted, probing is in there, you're gonna have to.

• 1:06:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:29Speaker 03

  Are you doing it?

• 1:06:31Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:06:32Speaker 04

  Do they give me a goodie bag?

• 1:06:34Speaker 02

  Like, here's, here's some merch on your way out.

• 1:06:36Speaker 03

  Here's some cum in your butt.

• 1:06:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:38Speaker 03

  Here's some alien cream pie.

• 1:06:40Speaker 02

  Yeah. No.

• 1:06:41Speaker 03

  That's the fucking goodie bag, is you get cream pie'd by an alien.

• 1:06:44Speaker 02

  It would be interesting to know that it's like, a real thing.

• 1:06:49Speaker 04

  I, I pulled up the article.

• 1:06:51Speaker 02

  Like, getting beamed up.

• 1:06:52Speaker 03

  I would like, I would like to not be beamed up.

• 1:06:55Speaker 02

  What?

• 1:06:56Speaker 03

  If I would like, if I were to be abducted, I would like the technology to be kind of close enough to what we have here on Earth. Because if I got beamed up, I'd be like, yo, that was so cool, I need to have that happen again. Like, I'd like it to just be like, they guide me onto a ship.

• 1:07:10Speaker 02

  You'd be begging for another deduction.

• 1:07:12Speaker 03

  I'd be like, yo, beam me daddy!

• 1:07:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, probe me again. What's it say in the article?

• 1:07:16Speaker 04

  Um, I don't know how true any of this is, but so, this person, Dr. Max Rempel, just went to the people who claimed to have got abducted, sampled their DNA, and out of that, at least 11 families had large chunks of DNA that didn't belong to either parent or their immediate family, when they came back from the deduction.

• 1:07:36Speaker 02

  See, this is interesting.

• 1:07:38Speaker 03

  It's possible, man, it's possible.

• 1:07:40Speaker 02

  Do you think that eventually, that means that they can, like, their child will have more of that DNA?

• 1:07:46Speaker 03

  Ooh, that would be cool.

• 1:07:47Speaker 02

  And now eventually we'll all be aliens, but we're all aliens.

• 1:07:49Speaker 03

  We're all aliens, isn't it? It's like sleeper cells. You remember that, the idea that like, they can like, maybe like, activate it, like, what movie was that? Guardians of the Galaxy, Volume 2. Where like ego goes and like puts his seed in different planets and then he can just be like, got it? And they fucking start. Like what if the aliens are doing that? So then when the time comes, they just be like, yo, by the way, we've been inseminating.

• 1:08:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:13Speaker 03

  For lack of better terms, people on your planet for the last 500 years. And it's DNA that follows down.

• 1:08:21Speaker 02

  Maybe.

• 1:08:21Speaker 03

  So like, there's like a, they can activate like a sleeper cell, alien supporters.

• 1:08:27Speaker 02

  Or maybe they're just like, you know, the sailors of the intergalactic world and they're just stopping at fucking.

• 1:08:34Speaker 03

  Any port and banging a fish?

• 1:08:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, like they're just like stopping at like, wait, what?

• 1:08:38Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:08:39Speaker 02

  What'd you say?

• 1:08:40Speaker 03

  And like, you said banging a fish.

• 1:08:41Speaker 02

  And like banging a fish?

• 1:08:42Speaker 03

  No. No sailors, any, any port in a storm, baby.

• 1:08:45Speaker 02

  Like sailors, they, back in the day, they would show up to places and like, they would have sex with women because they're leaving.

• 1:08:50Speaker 03

  Ever heard the song Brandy by Looking Glass?

• 1:08:53Speaker 04

  Oh, I thought you were saying we were the fish.

• 1:08:55Speaker 03

  No one is having sex with fish.

• 1:08:56Speaker 02

  Why are you bringing up fish?

• 1:08:58Speaker 04

  Cause you said sailor.

• 1:08:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:59Speaker 04

  I thought to the aliens coming in our butts, we were the fish.

• 1:09:03Speaker 03

  Alright.

• 1:09:03Speaker 02

  No one's a fish!

• 1:09:04Speaker 03

  And also let's take.

• 1:09:05Speaker 02

  Talking about human beings! Like a sailor, so the, the idea is like a sailor back in the day would get to like New York, for instance. And they would go out to the bars and stuff and, and they would hook up with girls. But then they'd just leave, but they wouldn't use protection. It's like, I'm never gonna see this woman again, because it was back in the day.

• 1:09:22Speaker 04

  So we're the girls.

• 1:09:23Speaker 02

  We are the girls.

• 1:09:24Speaker 03

  We are the girls.

• 1:09:24Speaker 02

  And they would show up and be like.

• 1:09:26Speaker 03

  Brandy, Brandy, you're a fine girl, what a good wife you would be, but my life, my love and my lady is the sea. They gotta get out of there, baby.

• 1:09:32Speaker 02

  You know, like, so they, they're just showing up and being like, ah, you know, we'll probe a couple of these bastards and get the hell out of here. They'll never see us.

• 1:09:39Speaker 03

  Or what if it's like?

• 1:09:40Speaker 02

  That's kinda funny to think about.

• 1:09:41Speaker 03

  What if it's like the equivalent of like, uh, fucking like people on like stag parties? You know, where like, there's like, oh, we're gonna go for like, we're going to Vegas for a stag party and it's like the aliens are just like, yo, we're going to Earth for. Bachelor party.

• 1:09:56Speaker 02

  What's a stag party?

• 1:09:57Speaker 03

  I don't know, I've heard of it, don't care. Bachelor party is what I meant.

• 1:10:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't know.

• 1:10:02Speaker 03

  But you know what I mean, like, we're going for uh, uh, uh, King Sion's, uh,

• 1:10:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:10:08Speaker 03

  Uh, bachelor party, we're going to Earth, wait till you see what they got down there. And they show up and they land in like Alabama.

• 1:10:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:10:15Speaker 03

  And it's just a racist old white man.

• 1:10:18Speaker 02

  I mean, it's such a crazy thing, man. And I, I honestly sympathize with those people because imagine something like that happening and feeling like, no one's believing that this happened. Like, that would be so tough, to have something that like you know is real, and you're like, I know that it's unusual, but I know it's real.

• 1:10:33Speaker 03

  That would be very isolating and I, and I, and I, in that,

• 1:10:36Speaker 02

  That would be terrifying.

• 1:10:36Speaker 03

  In that regard, I am sympathetic to people that that has happened to because I can imagine the feeling of isolation and, and, and loneliness. But, I, I, I don't know. I, I don't, I think a part of me just doesn't want to think it happened because it's scary.

• 1:10:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't want to accidentally talk my way.

• 1:10:54Speaker 03

  What if they're listening right now? What if the alien is just like, yo, we picked up?

• 1:10:57Speaker 02

  They're gonna get ya.

• 1:10:58Speaker 03

  No, they're gonna get you. If they're, if they're fucking, they're, if they're going for anybody, they want you, Joey.

• 1:11:04Speaker 02

  I don't know about that.

• 1:11:05Speaker 03

  You think so?

• 1:11:06Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 1:11:07Speaker 03

  Tell me more.

• 1:11:08Speaker 02

  About what?

• 1:11:09Speaker 03

  Me.

• 1:11:11Speaker 02

  You're probable.

• 1:11:13Speaker 03

  That's not what I wanted.

• 1:11:14Speaker 02

  That is what he wanted.

• 1:11:15Speaker 03

  I don't want it, I didn't want that.

• 1:11:17Speaker 04

  If, if Alien would choose anybody to probe, I think they'd choose you.

• 1:11:20Speaker 03

  Why?

• 1:11:20Speaker 04

  You're very desirable to probe.

• 1:11:22Speaker 03

  Well, see, yeah.

• 1:11:24Speaker 02

  Probe.

• 1:11:25Speaker 03

  But, why though?

• 1:11:26Speaker 02

  Where do you think you rank?

• 1:11:28Speaker 04

  Out of us three to probe?

• 1:11:29Speaker 02

  Just in, out of ten?

• 1:11:31Speaker 04

  I think I'm probable.

• 1:11:33Speaker 03

  But what level is probable? Cause technically all of them are probable.

• 1:11:36Speaker 02

  A technicality, technical Frank, technical Frank.

• 1:11:39Speaker 04

  Um, s- seven and a half.

• 1:11:42Speaker 03

  Out of ten?

• 1:11:44Speaker 04

  Six and a half? Nine and a half.

• 1:11:46Speaker 03

  Nine, dude, that's,

• 1:11:47Speaker 02

  Nine and a half? That feels like the real answer.

• 1:11:48Speaker 03

  You're begging for the probe.

• 1:11:49Speaker 02

  Seven and a half and you're like,

• 1:11:51Speaker 03

  Please probe me, Dad.

• 1:11:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:11:54Speaker 02

  Um,

• 1:11:54Speaker 03

  I think,

• 1:11:56Speaker 04

  I think it'd be cool.

• 1:11:56Speaker 03

  No, I'm not probable. I'm a four.

• 1:12:00Speaker 04

  Oh, you're way higher than a four.

• 1:12:01Speaker 02

  I really wonder, have you guys ever seen like a UFO or something like that?

• 1:12:05Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 1:12:05Speaker 03

  I don't think so. Becca like recently like looked through like an old video and she's like, there's a UFO in the back.

• 1:12:14Speaker 02

  Well, how old was the video?

• 1:12:15Speaker 03

  Four years ago.

• 1:12:16Speaker 02

  Oh, that's not that. I thought it meant like an old video. I'm like, oh, maybe it was a camera or something.

• 1:12:19Speaker 04

  You guys had a UFO problem, right? Or something?

• 1:12:21Speaker 02

  What?

• 1:12:22Speaker 03

  The drones last year. That feels like that was decades ago, dude.

• 1:12:26Speaker 02

  That does, and like that was-

• 1:12:27Speaker 03

  Remember when someone was freaking out because of the drones?

• 1:12:29Speaker 02

  I do, yeah. I mean, that was an interesting thing. Bro, I also one night was laughing so hard because

• 1:12:39Speaker 02

  there were people saying that there was a, uh... Bro, and maybe this is true, but it's just funny to, like, I don't know. Someone's like, there's a mothership off the coast of New Jersey.

• 1:12:48Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:49Speaker 02

  And the drones are coming from the mothership.

• 1:12:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:12:51Speaker 02

  And I was laughing so hard at that. One, at that, like, if you're just speculating that, to me, that's hysterical. And if that's real, even funnier.

• 1:13:02Speaker 03

  Even fun- it is funny.

• 1:13:03Speaker 02

  Even funnier because it's like, we are fucked. Mothership?

• 1:13:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:13:07Speaker 02

  Mothership!

• 1:13:07Speaker 03

  It is, it is kinda like-

• 1:13:08Speaker 02

  Mothership!

• 1:13:09Speaker 03

  That's my approach with all these, like, scary things is like, I have to find something to laugh at about them because if not, I will be terrified and I will crumble.

• 1:13:17Speaker 02

  Can you imagine, like, yo, there's, there's a ship the size of Puerto Rico?

• 1:13:21Speaker 03

  Like, who cares?

• 1:13:22Speaker 02

  Imagine?

• 1:13:23Speaker 04

  Like Independence Day?

• 1:13:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, bro, I think about that a lot.

• 1:13:27Speaker 03

  I do too.

• 1:13:27Speaker 02

  Whenever I see clouds that, like, look like a line, I'm like, imagine the coming out.

• 1:13:33Speaker 03

  I do that anytime I go- I said this. I do that anytime I go over, like, a bridge. I, like, look out in the horizon and, like, imagine I see something just, like, coming over the horizon and I'm just like-

• 1:13:42Speaker 02

  Like a big monster or a ship?

• 1:13:43Speaker 03

  Either or.

• 1:13:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like to imagine-

• 1:13:46Speaker 03

  I would like to imagine nothing.

• 1:13:48Speaker 02

  I do imagine a lot.

• 1:13:49Speaker 03

  I do too, but I would like not to.

• 1:13:52Speaker 02

  Okay. Well, that's the paranoia. That's the-

• 1:13:55Speaker 03

  That's, that's against me.

• 1:13:56Speaker 02

  It's a vicious circle.

• 1:13:57Speaker 03

  It is a little bit vicious.

• 1:13:58Speaker 04

  If you're the one that saw it, it'd be very unfortunate that it's like, oh, this had to happen here. Like, why is it so close? Like, I would much rather see it on TV somewhere else.

• 1:14:05Speaker 03

  I would like to think that I'd be able to drive away from it.

• 1:14:09Speaker 02

  That ain't happening.

• 1:14:10Speaker 03

  Did you hear what I said?

• 1:14:11Speaker 02

  You would like to think.

• 1:14:12Speaker 03

  Like to think is the key word there.

• 1:14:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, you would need everyone else to drive away, traffic, you get stuck behind a car, now you have to run. I don't think you could outrun it.

• 1:14:19Speaker 02

  I will say, I think that the idea of like, you know, like Godzilla, like there's something very deep in the water, that's like a big monster or whatever. I kind of enjoy it.

• 1:14:31Speaker 03

  You lose Frankie, you lose Frankie in this conversation.

• 1:14:34Speaker 02

  What about if it was like a giant squid, but it was fucking massive?

• 1:14:37Speaker 03

  You lose me. I'm not contributing to this conversation.

• 1:14:41Speaker 02

  That would be so cool.

• 1:14:42Speaker 03

  That is, I'm not kidding, I am not, I really don't think I'm like afraid of much, like, much like actual stuff. Like, actual stuff.

• 1:14:51Speaker 02

  You're afraid of a lot!

• 1:14:52Speaker 03

  No, like, actual things, like, I'm not afraid of like snakes or bugs, or, you know, like, it's, it's theories that I'm afraid of.

• 1:15:00Speaker 02

  You could do that all day.

• 1:15:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, but, that, the ocean, like, the idea, like, we saw those videos.

• 1:15:08Speaker 02

  A giant squid.

• 1:15:09Speaker 03

  Where it's just like, a giant something under the ocean?

• 1:15:13Speaker 02

  That wouldn't really scare me that much, because like, I'm not going out on the open ocean, anyway.

• 1:15:17Speaker 03

  You'd fly over it.

• 1:15:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's a squid.

• 1:15:21Speaker 03

  I mean, what if it, but, what if it's a big one?

• 1:15:24Speaker 04

  Dude, if, if a kraken, let's say, can, is so big it could reach a plane, it's over, anyway.

• 1:15:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, I mean, they're not gonna pull it out of the sky.

• 1:15:34Speaker 03

  They might.

• 1:15:35Speaker 02

  Something that big also is kind of like, they probably can't even see the, what are we doing?

• 1:15:42Speaker 02

  I'm like the thing so big it probably can't even see the plane!

• 1:15:46Speaker 02

  Oh, man, it will never get the Delta flight. I will say,

• 1:15:53Speaker 02

  I'm not trying to, you know, shit all over a Spirit, because they've had a rough go, but those are bright yellow planes, the kraken would see those. They would see the bright yellow ones.

• 1:16:01Speaker 03

  Alright, we gotta stop talking about planes, we're about to start flying soon.

• 1:16:06Speaker 02

  I think we're safe from the kraken.

• 1:16:08Speaker 04

  I think it's more likely, maybe it'll throw a boat.

• 1:16:10Speaker 02

  What about a megalodon? That's cool. Big fucking shark.

• 1:16:16Speaker 04

  That's a big shark.

• 1:16:17Speaker 03

  Listen, when it comes to stuff under the water, because guess what, you look out, you see the ocean, you don't see underneath.

• 1:16:24Speaker 02

  But you don't have to go in. You're protected by the land.

• 1:16:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, but.

• 1:16:28Speaker 04

  Why does that bother you?

• 1:16:29Speaker 03

  Because what if, if it like, could like walk, like Cloverfield monster?

• 1:16:33Speaker 02

  A shark?

• 1:16:34Speaker 03

  Or a Cloverfield monster.

• 1:16:36Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, that's not good. I mean, we have, I mean, we shoot some rockets at it or something.

• 1:16:39Speaker 03

  And then what? What happened to the Cloverfield monster?

• 1:16:42Speaker 02

  I don't remember how that movie ended.

• 1:16:43Speaker 04

  It wasn't great.

• 1:16:44Speaker 03

  I could spo- that movie's incredible.

• 1:16:46Speaker 02

  No, I'm saying. You can spoil it? It was a hundred years old.

• 1:16:48Speaker 04

  I'm saying how it ended.

• 1:16:48Speaker 02

  Seventeen, but who's counting? Did they kill it?

• 1:16:54Speaker 02

  That feels like not a yes or no?

• 1:16:55Speaker 03

  There's a little stinger at the end where there's a little voice note that goes, "It's still alive."

• 1:16:59Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 1:17:00Speaker 04

  So they wasted.

• 1:17:00Speaker 03

  I love Cloverfield so mu- don't even get me started on my Cloverfield love.

• 1:17:04Speaker 02

  I know, you loved that.

• 1:17:05Speaker 03

  I love Cloverfield. And then all the adjacent stuff, most of the adjacent stuff. Cloverfield paradox, big disappointment. 10 Cloverfield Lane?

• 1:17:12Speaker 02

  Was that John Goodman?

• 1:17:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:17:14Speaker 02

  That was a good one.

• 1:17:14Speaker 03

  That's a goodie.

• 1:17:16Speaker 02

  Yeah. Ooh, I would like a bunker one day. That'd be fun.

• 1:17:19Speaker 03

  I mean, you're, you're, you're big billionaire Joe, you'll have one.

• 1:17:22Speaker 04

  I think you'll get invited to one. I don't think you need to make one.

• 1:17:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, they don't wa- you don't need to make it, they'll just be like, "Oh, yeah, yeah."

• 1:17:27Speaker 04

  And that's the cool one.

• 1:17:28Speaker 03

  Come here, come here.

• 1:17:30Speaker 04

  You get a couple invites, though.

• 1:17:31Speaker 02

  I'll tell you what. For a bunker invite, I might go to the Illuminati.

• 1:17:36Speaker 03

  Yeah?

• 1:17:36Speaker 02

  Okay. All right, that's fair.

• 1:17:39Speaker 03

  They, they heard that. Them and the aliens. The aliens are getting ready to cream you, and the Illuminati's like, "Wait, us first."

• 1:17:45Speaker 02

  I don't think you're making this plus one.

• 1:17:47Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no. I would like to stay with my family.

• 1:17:51Speaker 02

  Yeah. You gotta go down with the ship.

• 1:17:54Speaker 02

  Well, you do.

• 1:17:54Speaker 03

  I will go down with this ship.

• 1:17:58Speaker 03

  And I will turn my love and surrender.

• 1:18:03Speaker 02

  I don't know that song.

• 1:18:04Speaker 03

  There will be her, her, her from my door.

• 1:18:08Speaker 02

  Oh, what's that?

• 1:18:09Speaker 03

  I'm in love, now I'm in, I'm in. I don't, I don't remember. I don't remember the name of it, but I remember the song.

• 1:18:16Speaker 04

  You definitely know the song.

• 1:18:17Speaker 03

  Is that Fiona Apple?

• 1:18:19Speaker 04

  Oh, I don't know.

• 1:18:21Speaker 03

  And I will go down with this ship.

• 1:18:24Speaker 02

  Is that the name of the song?

• 1:18:25Speaker 03

  And I will turn my love and surrender, look at that.

• 1:18:33Speaker 02

  I mean, you can't play the song.

• 1:18:34Speaker 03

  I know, I know. You gotta, but if you, if you look up the name of the song, just type, "I will go down with this ship" song lady.

• 1:18:40Speaker 02

  Song lady.

• 1:18:43Speaker 04

  Uh, Ditto, White Flag?

• 1:18:44Speaker 03

  Ditto.

• 1:18:45Speaker 04

  Ditto.

• 1:18:45Speaker 02

  Ah.

• 1:18:46Speaker 03

  Ditto.

• 1:18:47Speaker 02

  Who's Fiona Apple?

• 1:18:48Speaker 03

  She was another singer.

• 1:18:50Speaker 02

  Is she?

• 1:18:50Speaker 03

  You remember Fiona Apple?

• 1:18:51Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:18:52Speaker 03

  She was a singer.

• 1:18:53Speaker 02

  What does Fiona Apple sing?

• 1:18:55Speaker 04

  Let's see.

• 1:18:56Speaker 03

  Top Fiona Apple songs.

• 1:18:58Speaker 02

  Oh, Criminal, I Want You To Love Me, Pure Imagination Limp.

• 1:19:04Speaker 03

  Limp.

• 1:19:07Speaker 02

  I don't, I don't know. Fiona Apple. It does sound familiar. I thought it was like a cartoon character, though.

• 1:19:14Speaker 03

  Remember Nelly Furtado?

• 1:19:16Speaker 02

  Hell, yeah.

• 1:19:17Speaker 03

  Promised you was girl.

• 1:19:19Speaker 02

  That's Timbaland.

• 1:19:20Speaker 03

  Well, but it's him and her.

• 1:19:21Speaker 02

  I know, but you did his voice out of the song.

• 1:19:23Speaker 03

  I know. Promised you was boy.

• 1:19:30Speaker 03

  Don't be mad, don't be mean.

• 1:19:32Speaker 02

  Don't be mad, don't be mean.

• 1:19:36Speaker 03

  Damn, wow, throwback. I can see you with my t-shirt on.

• 1:19:39Speaker 02

  I can see you with my t-shirt on. Wait, she can see us with her t-shirt on?

• 1:19:44Speaker 03

  I don't know. I don't remember.

• 1:19:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't.

• 1:19:47Speaker 03

  You know what I mean, girl, I'm a freaking shouldn't say no to this.

• 1:19:50Speaker 02

  What was the song with Jessica Simpson? Oh, where she's like, "Nothing but a t-shirt on."

• 1:19:54Speaker 03

  Nothing's so beautiful, baby, as I do now. Now that I'm with you, with you.

• 1:20:02Speaker 02

  I remember when that song came out, I was like, oh, that's the hottest thing a girl can wear.

• 1:20:06Speaker 03

  Of course you did, yeah.

• 1:20:08Speaker 02

  I was so...

• 1:20:10Speaker 03

  Who did more for like, like that song? Or like when Drake was just like, "Sweatpants, heads are chillin' with no makeup on."

• 1:20:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:20:18Speaker 03

  That one was, oh my god, dude, I...

• 1:20:20Speaker 02

  Yeah. I do, I do like a sweatpants look.

• 1:20:24Speaker 03

  Hair tied, chillin' with no makeup on. That's when you're the prettiest. I hope that you don't take it wrong.

• 1:20:30Speaker 02

  I don't know how that's taking it wrong, but I don't know why he said that. Anyway, um, we went all over the place today. I hope you guys enjoyed that.

• 1:20:38Speaker 03

  Yep, we started with Joey crying, we ended with Drake.

• 1:20:41Speaker 02

  Right. So, there you go. Uh, but yeah, guys, uh, go check out the Patreon, patreon.com/thebasementyard. Uh, and yeah, we have some shows, I guess, coming out. There might be a couple of tickets left to some, certain places, so go check that out, thebasementyard.com. Frank, where can they find you?

• 1:20:59Speaker 03

  Uh, the Frank Albers everywhere. Make sure you go check out the Halloween merch. There's still some time to get some, I think, right?

• 1:21:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think some time, so go check it out. And then the Patreon, patreon.com/thebasementyard.

• 1:21:10Speaker 02

  Shop.santigatastudios.com to get that merch. Ant? Ant? Ant Prisco on Instagram?

• 1:21:22Speaker 02

  I wanted to see how fast you tried to say it. I was gonna, I was, I was just gonna bait you for stopping and then...

• 1:21:27Speaker 03

  You gotta, you gotta feint a little bit.

• 1:21:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, I feinted, just in case he did it.

• 1:21:31Speaker 03

  You know?

• 1:21:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, don't get used to it.

• 1:21:35Speaker 02

  Ant? Ant Prisco!

• 1:21:38Speaker 03

  Uh, but alright, that is all for this week's episode. Thank you, we'll see you next time.

• 1:21:55Speaker 00

  Pink Pantheress here. Coach and Spotify are teaming up to bring music and style together, and they want you to be part of it. Grab your friends and head to the Tabby Tour, hitting cities around the country with live performances from special artists, exclusive experiences, and personalized products. And discover custom playlists on Spotify, booked just for you, based on who you are and how you listen. Live your story with Coach. Learn more at coach.com.