#511 - The Biggest Show We've Done

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• 0:00Speaker 00

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short, and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long-distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola, for everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 0:30Speaker 01

  Welcome back to the basement.

• 0:36Speaker 02

  Welcome back to the basement yard. There he is with the Baltimore, but, come on. The Baltimore Orioles.

• 0:44Speaker 01

  You can't, you gotta.

• 0:44Speaker 02

  I can say it, it's fine.

• 0:45Speaker 01

  You gotta.

• 0:46Speaker 02

  I can say it.

• 0:46Speaker 01

  It's not bad, right? It's a nice hat.

• 0:48Speaker 02

  What's the top, what is that? Is that fatigues? That's not what I meant to say. Camouflage?

• 0:52Speaker 01

  I was gonna say, what's fatigues?

• 0:54Speaker 02

  It's like an army uniform.

• 0:56Speaker 01

  They wear fatigues?

• 0:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's what they call them.

• 0:58Speaker 01

  I, the only, only time I've ever heard the phrase fatigue was like, if you're tired, if you're a sleepy boy.

• 1:03Speaker 02

  You've never heard fatigues?

• 1:04Speaker 01

  No, what is it?

• 1:06Speaker 02

  It's like the uniform. It's like an.

• 1:08Speaker 01

  But isn't that camo? Camouflage is like that. Have you ever, remember when we would play Call of Duty games and it would be like, digital camo, red camo? When would that ever be used?

• 1:19Speaker 02

  Red camo?

• 1:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, when would like, it was like red camo, blue camo, I guess, because like, if you're doing like water operations.

• 1:26Speaker 02

  And white, cause like, snow.

• 1:28Speaker 01

  Snow, yeah. Arctic, I think, is what it was called.

• 1:31Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:32Speaker 01

  That makes sense, but like, digital? What is that for, bro? I guess cities. Oh, figured it out.

• 1:40Speaker 02

  I don't, I don't know. I'm not tapped into the army. How about you?

• 1:43Speaker 01

  Um, I'm not, but you know what? I feel like I.

• 1:47Speaker 02

  Can I ask you a question?

• 1:49Speaker 01

  You're gonna anyways, so.

• 1:50Speaker 02

  What, have you in the last couple of months looked up how old you have to be to get drafted?

• 1:58Speaker 01

  Uh... I have. I just wanted to know. I think it's, I think we're cool. I think we're good. We're all farts. Yeah, I think no one wants us. Yeah. Mainly because... I got a bad leg. You got a bad knee. Well, I do have a bad knee. You have a bad knee. Ride that home, baby. Right, yeah, yeah. Because if that, if the draft people come real quick... You get drafted. But you got a gun, right? But you got a gun. Would you shoot your foot? What do you mean, Mike? So you don't have to go? Someone else shot my foot. But would you do it? I would, someone else did it. Okay, would you have your wife shoot your foot? I would, yeah. I love how, I remember when... Would you shoot your foot? Yes! Really?

• 2:41Speaker 01

  I'm shooting myself in the, probably not the foot, the knee.

• 2:46Speaker 01

  That would be so much infinitely worse. Exactly. Why would you do that? They'd be like, foot's not that bad. I have a hole in my foot. You want me to go there with a hole in my foot? Yeah, we'll fix it, we'll patch it up, you're good. You want to blow out your kneecap? Uh, I would rather, just to like, I love how people, because I remember, we're, we're gonna get political, but like, I remember when Trump was like first running and, and he was a draft dodger, like that was the story about him. I don't know how accurate it is, might, it might be accurate. But like, people were talking about that as if they wouldn't do the exact same shit. I probably would have been hop skipped. Let me tell you something. I'm too scared, I would be good. If they come knock on my door tomorrow and they're like, alright, you're Alvarez, you're at the top, we need you. They go by last name? I, I hope not. Like a classroom?

• 3:31Speaker 01

  I was gonna say, I hope it's not like elementary school lunch.

• 3:35Speaker 01

  That was so... Wait, what? We had assigned seating in elementary school lunch? No, but like for elementary school lunch, the lunch line was by last name. Was it? Yeah, I remember I was so hype and I would always yell at Dixon, because I'd be like, how's it going back there? Yeah, his last name was Y. Yi. Um, and I mean, I was back there too. Uh, but there was, yeah, you were, you were pretty far back there. S is shady toward the back of the alphabet.

• 3:59Speaker 02

  It's not shady at all, it's pretty back there.

• 4:01Speaker 01

  I remember there was one kid that was before us though, and I was so pissed, cuz I would've been first in the lunch line. First to get your lunch, dude, you get first dibs on all the-

• 4:09Speaker 02

  Who was before you?

• 4:10Speaker 01

  Mohammed Alam. I went first and last, too, you know?

• 4:14Speaker 02

  Uh, I remember that kid.

• 4:16Speaker 01

  He was a cool kid, yeah, what I remember, wherever he is.

• 4:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, Mohammed Alam, I'm gonna look him up on Facebook and see if I can find him. Don't look him up, I don't want anyone to fucking look him up.

• 4:26Speaker 01

  You did it!

• 4:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, you guys are weird with that.

• 4:29Speaker 01

  Uh, but, I will say, if they, if they come and they knock on my door and they're like, "Hey, look, we need you, over in... Uh, wherever the war is, we need you at war."

• 4:40Speaker 02

  I'd be like, "I'll be right out," and I would close my door and I would go into my kitchen, I would cut my hand off.

• 4:45Speaker 01

  I mean, I feel like they wouldn't want me.

• 4:50Speaker 02

  They're like, "Hey, we need-" Nevermind.

• 4:52Speaker 01

  You wouldn't even want someone like me.

• 4:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, they'd be like, "Hey, we need-" Nevermind, and just shut the door.

• 4:57Speaker 01

  They'd open the door, they'd see a Megazord in the background, and they'd be like-

• 5:00Speaker 02

  No.

• 5:01Speaker 01

  "We're looking for someone else."

• 5:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:04Speaker 01

  I just, I don't think, I also think for my, whatever tummy issues I have, I would just be more of a headache for the Armed Services, whether it be the Navy, Marines, Army, then I would be an asshead.

• 5:14Speaker 02

  Right.

• 5:15Speaker 01

  What would I really contribute? What would you contribute to the Army?

• 5:18Speaker 02

  Not much, not much.

• 5:20Speaker 01

  "Hey, we need someone to go out there and distract, you know, women that find, like, white men attractive."

• 5:28Speaker 01

  That would be your role.

• 5:29Speaker 02

  Who are we going to war with? That's the strategy. See, this is why you can't work in the office either, because that's a bad strat. "Hey, let's just distract them."

• 5:37Speaker 01

  I would, they'd be like, "Alright, we need a title for this plan," and I'd be like, "I'm not ideas- Alright, we're gonna call it Operation- Operation Good Plan, you know, I, I wouldn't be able to come up with anything that was like legitimately like halfway decent.

• 5:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, that would not be great. Um, anyway, today is a, uh, it's a magical episode, this is the craziest thing that's ever happened to us, but- Uh, we are announcing our New York City show, finally.

• 6:06Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 6:06Speaker 02

  Uh, and we know we've been teasing this, we've been blue ballin', we've been...

• 6:11Speaker 01

  Well, we haven't been blue ballin'.

• 6:12Speaker 02

  Over the pants, just kinda brushing it and letting the blood fill up and then running away. That's what we've been doing. We've been doing that.

• 6:19Speaker 01

  We have not been doing that.

• 6:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, we've been doing that thing.

• 6:22Speaker 01

  We've been, we've been edging, we've been edging our fans.

• 6:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:25Speaker 01

  Getting them there.

• 6:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:27Speaker 01

  You be like, "You want that New York date? It's at..."

• 6:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, you get, you get right to the cusp, but then you're like, "No." And then you're like, "Well, we'll pick this back up tomorrow."

• 6:35Speaker 01

  Just to be clear, we've been doing that.

• 6:36Speaker 02

  We've been doing that.

• 6:37Speaker 01

  Okay, alright.

• 6:37Speaker 02

  We have been doing that. We've been doing it, all of us have been doing it.

• 6:40Speaker 01

  Well, I think it's, it's a little fun, you know.

• 6:42Speaker 02

  To edge? You ever edge? You ever edge?

• 6:45Speaker 01

  I'm not an edger, no.

• 6:46Speaker 02

  You've never edged?

• 6:47Speaker 01

  I don't edge. I don't have the patience for it. I just be like, "Come on, come."

• 6:55Speaker 02

  You be like, "Alright, let's get, let's get this done already."

• 6:57Speaker 01

  I would just be like, I don't like to do, like, if I buy, that's why I don't like shopping online. Cause once I'm buying something, I wanna have it in my hands. I wanna have it, take it home, feel it, use it.

• 7:07Speaker 02

  So, once you have a boner, it's like, this, this...

• 7:09Speaker 01

  Now. Now, now, now.

• 7:10Speaker 02

  Now, now, now.

• 7:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 7:11Speaker 02

  I'm not putting this off.

• 7:13Speaker 01

  Well, this is, what are we gonna do with this thing now? You know what I mean?

• 7:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  Where, I, I just, I can't like, do the whole, I don't think it's horny, or like sexy, to like, bring someone to the edge and then just...

• 7:27Speaker 02

  And then pull them back?

• 7:28Speaker 01

  Pull them back?

• 7:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, you wanna push them off the edge?

• 7:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly. If I'm going to the edge of that cliff, you best believe I'm diving straight off. Um, I, I, I've, I've heard of people edging for like a month. Are you an edger?

• 7:43Speaker 02

  No, I'm not, I'm, that's crazy.

• 7:45Speaker 01

  I mean, I, I wouldn't like, be against it. Hold on.

• 7:48Speaker 02

  What? What did I say?

• 7:51Speaker 01

  I wanna make sure I understood what you said, because you probably said it right, but I misinterpreted it.

• 7:55Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 7:56Speaker 01

  They edged for a month.

• 8:00Speaker 01

  Oh, I thought when you said I heard people have, uh, edging for a month, like the last month you've heard more and more pe- like, stories of people edging. No, no, no. So like, one person will go a month, just like, oh, no. That's crazy. I feel like, you're messing up the pipes. Yeah, I mean, that's, it's, you're, you're, you're gonna destroy, you know, there's gonna be a pipe burst somewhere. Yeah. You know, that's why you need to bleed the system dry. I'm talking plumbing now, now that I'm talking. Yeah, I'm not familiar with that term. Yeah, yeah, bleeding the system. I don't know what comes out of you, but I don't have blood. Not blood, yeah, I wanna make that very clear. Alright, I was about to call the doctor. Uh, uh, yeah, that would've been a good move. Fake time. But, edging for a month? Crazy.

• 8:42Speaker 01

  How do people do thi- like, and I'm not even meaning like, I think it would fall off. Mentally, yeah, like, my, my balls would be the size of fucking medicine balls. Yeah. And, they would be painful. Two big grapefruits, two moons. There's gotta be a scientific, like, you fill the, like, But think of that explosion. No. I imagine it would hurt. I think that it would feel like a giant release. Like, have you ever had to pee so bad that, Yeah, but I love that. When you pee, you get the relief, but also it's just like, I waited too long.

• 9:18Speaker 01

  No, I think that like, you know, sometimes I hold my pee if I'm in my apartment? Just to like, play around? Just to be like, oh, I get so close, and then I pee, and I'm like, oh. That's what I do too, you made fun of me for doing this. For doing? I said that I pee when I'm like, almost pissing myself, I like, I let go, just to see if I'm gonna piss myself. Cause you know that feeling, Well, that's the part that I'm talking about. That when you have to pee, it's like, you're holding your, your pee, like, you don't realize it, but you're holding it. It feels like a muscle strain. Yes. So like, just to see if I need to pee bad enough, I'll let go of that to see if I start to piss myself, and then I'll go pee. Right, that's an interesting strategy there. I mean, you do the same thing, you just don't almost piss yourself. Right. That's the part. That's the only part that I'm talking about. The tagline? Yeah, you make it an emergency, just like, "Oh, finally, I'm out there."

• 10:02Speaker 01

  You know, there's incredible irony in the fact that we have just spent the last three and a half minutes talking about edging. And we're edging. When we're edging people. We're edging again. Guess where it's gonna be, guess when it's gonna be, you already know the date. Yeah. Guess where, it's, it's gonna be, it's gonna be. Hey, Joe, what? Guess when tickets are going. What did you eat for breakfast this morning? What did you eat for breakfast? Yeah. I didn't eat breakfast. You haven't ate thus far? Yep. Cool, okay. Yep. Not great, I think. Um, I don't really love eating breakfast. We're gonna keep going? Oh.

• 10:37Speaker 01

  I feel like, once we get to a, a, another conversation, uh, it's just gonna edge even further, and then they could get, then they could get like, the opposite edge. Azul huevos. I was gonna say. Asshole eggs? Azul. Oh, I said.

• 10:54Speaker 01

  Azul huevos. Azul. Oh, azul.

• 11:00Speaker 01

  Blue eggs. That's what I was referring to. Asshole eggs? Ew, that sounds disgusting. It does. I guess, if you edge someone too much, will they shoot it out of their ass? Like, it's like, you know how like, when?

• 11:16Speaker 01

  You know how in like, those like, old like, Elmer Fudd? Uh, duck season, rabbit season, when they put the fingers in the barrel and then it blows out the back end? Yo, I honestly think that, probably. I wonder if like, I'm not gay. Um, but. Thank you. But like, say this is a penis. Probably shouldn't do this with the sponsor for this episode.

• 11:37Speaker 01

  Say it is, though. Say, say there's a penis right here. And you cover it. If you edge it by grabbing the tip and closing it like that, will it then like, the old cartoon Looney Tune commercials like, blow out the back end? I certainly don't know what would happen if like, you duct taped the tip of your wang. I'm not saying even duct tape, I'm saying just grab it. Let anything get out, you know? Like, if it was mine, just like, grab it? Yeah, I'm sure.

• 12:02Speaker 01

  Grab it like a cigarette.

• 12:06Speaker 02

  Just like that.

• 12:07Speaker 01

  I just have to.

• 12:09Speaker 02

  We're getting.

• 12:09Speaker 01

  Grab, grab it.

• 12:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, 100%. Put it in a headlock. Uh, alright. The edging's over.

• 12:16Speaker 01

  No, it ain't.

• 12:17Speaker 02

  Now it's time to.

• 12:20Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 12:21Speaker 01

  No, we have to for, uh, editing purposes.

• 12:23Speaker 02

  We do.

• 12:23Speaker 01

  We do need to do this.

• 12:24Speaker 02

  What did I even say just now?

• 12:25Speaker 01

  We do.

• 12:26Speaker 02

  Alright, listen. Uh, biggest show of our lives. Also, let's just come out and say it. This is probably gonna be like the last show we do for a very long time.

• 12:37Speaker 01

  Uh, this is it. If we're quoting Michael Jackson. Yeah, I know you often like to quote.

• 12:41Speaker 02

  If we're quoting Michael Jackson, beat it.

• 12:44Speaker 01

  Well, that's for the edging. If we're quoting.

• 12:46Speaker 02

  They made it up.

• 12:47Speaker 01

  If we're.

• 12:47Speaker 02

  It's BS.

• 12:49Speaker 01

  Come on. We're gonna, we're gonna talk about our New York show and do Michael Jackson impressions? I mean, what are we doing? People get upset about the Michael Jackson impression?

• 12:56Speaker 02

  100 years ago. I don't, I'm not even thinking about it.

• 12:58Speaker 01

  Is the, eh? Uh, should I do it?

• 13:00Speaker 02

  It's BS.

• 13:00Speaker 01

  It's BS.

• 13:01Speaker 02

  They made it up.

• 13:02Speaker 01

  I love that clip. Um, but if we're, yeah, if we're gonna quote Michael Jackson here, this is it.

• 13:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:08Speaker 01

  Uh, for the.

• 13:11Speaker 01

  Who knows if we ever will again, you know?

• 13:13Speaker 02

  Like, next year, we're not doing Basement Yard shows. We did two years of shows. You know, like, there's stuff that I wanna do. Frank just moved into his house. He wants to spend time with his family. And like, you know, we're, we're, we're kind of adjusting to everything, so like, next year, there's not gonna be any Basement Yard shows. Um, so this is the big one. Uh, it's happening in New York, and I've seen online a lot of people speculating about where it's gonna be, but on November 13th, the boys are gonna be at fucking Madison Square Garden, dude.

• 13:47Speaker 01

  The world's dumbest podcast on the world's most famous arena.

• 13:52Speaker 02

  It doesn't make any sense to us.

• 13:54Speaker 01

  It doesn't make any fucking sense.

• 13:57Speaker 02

  We are.

• 13:58Speaker 01

  Two boys in a garden.

• 14:00Speaker 02

  This sounds like a gay version of the, of the, of Adam and Eve.

• 14:06Speaker 01

  Sure, yeah, we could go with that.

• 14:08Speaker 02

  Weird way to promote the show.

• 14:09Speaker 01

  Absolutely a weird way to promote the show. I think, uh, you know, we have openly spoken about the fact that like, I don't know about you, I don't know if I've still completely grasped the Radio City of last year. So the fact now that we are doing, what is, it literally is named the world's most famous arena.

• 14:30Speaker 02

  Right.

• 14:32Speaker 01

  Doesn't make sense.

• 14:32Speaker 02

  The Knicks play there.

• 14:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, dude.

• 14:35Speaker 02

  The Rangers play there.

• 14:36Speaker 01

  Yes, they do. Billy Joel.

• 14:39Speaker 02

  Billy Joel. Harry Styles.

• 14:40Speaker 01

  Harry Styles. You know?

• 14:42Speaker 02

  Others.

• 14:43Speaker 01

  So many others. But like, the fact that we are getting the opportunity to do that is, um...

• 14:49Speaker 02

  It's crazy.

• 14:50Speaker 01

  It's crazy. It's a lot to mentally deal with. Um, but yeah, we're excited. We're hoping to fucking pack that place out and make it one big, beautiful

• 15:04Speaker 01

  bitch of a show.

• 15:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:06Speaker 01

  You know?

• 15:06Speaker 02

  I, I, it's crazy because, um, like last year when we did Radio City, it was like, this is so far out of possibility. And then we sold out those two shows very quickly. And that was the, the only reason why they're letting us do Madison Square Garden because, you know, our fanbase showed up like that to those two shows. And, I mean, we want this shit so bad. Like, we would love to be able to say that we sold out Madison Square Garden. And we're hoping that we can do that. We're working really hard this year on making the best show possible. And that show specifically is gonna be different than, it, it, it different in certain ways than all the other shows.

• 15:50Speaker 02

  And like, there'll be more information that comes out about that, but like, Madison Square Garden, it's fucking Madison Square Garden, dude. I went to Noah Khan at Madison Square Garden. And I'm sitting in the stands and I'm like, there's no fucking way that we're doing this. Like, there's no fucking way this is happening, dude.

• 16:10Speaker 01

  We, when we went for the promo, uh, like filming and stuff like that, just like...

• 16:20Speaker 01

  Just sitting there, so I, I worked there years ago, which is something I alluded to in a previous episode. I worked there years ago, and like, even just like, in a non, like, you're not anything, you're just a worker in this building, it feels special.

• 16:35Speaker 02

  To work there.

• 16:36Speaker 01

  To work there, like, I remember, I felt like it was such a flex, that I worked there for the summer, like, oh, I walked the back halls, you know what I mean? I touched the walls, you know how I feel about touching walls.

• 16:45Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 16:47Speaker 01

  What?

• 16:48Speaker 02

  People say that's fucking.

• 16:50Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 16:50Speaker 02

  Touching walls.

• 16:51Speaker 01

  Touching walls is having sex?

• 16:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:53Speaker 01

  I'm fans of both of them, man.

• 16:54Speaker 02

  Me too.

• 16:54Speaker 01

  You know, but, uh, the fact that like, that is, like, for what, for that night, it is going to be our, like, we are performing there, we are the attraction, we are the people that other people will be coming to see in there, bananas.

• 17:10Speaker 02

  Every time that I go to like a Rangers game, cause I have season tickets, and I walk out of the fucking, like, you walk up the little stairs, and then you walk out into the seats, it's always, it always, it's like, whoa, like, it's so cool. And bro, people are gonna do that, and it's gonna be us up there, what the fuck is happening?

• 17:29Speaker 01

  It's, it's, like, it just doesn't make sense, because I put myself in the mentality of just like, last year at Radio City, like, not only are you doing something that nobody else has done, but like, the way in which we did it, like, the two nights, because of everyone that showed up and supported us. So like, getting the chance to even be considered for this is crazy to me.

• 17:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:53Speaker 01

  And then getting the chance to go through with it and do it is, it's bananas.

• 17:58Speaker 02

  I can't, I can't, I can't even wrap my mind.

• 18:00Speaker 01

  I don't know if I even physically, like, have the capacity, like, mental capacity where I am today to comprehend it.

• 18:08Speaker 02

  Bro, the place is fucking big too, and like, when I walked into Radio City, I was like, wow, this is fucking crazy, but the feeling of walking into MSG was like, what? This isn't happening.

• 18:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, Radio City is-

• 18:20Speaker 02

  This is not happening.

• 18:21Speaker 01

  They're, they're both, I mean, they're, they're world famous venues, for a reason, and in terms of like, you know, we said it previously, like, last year in the dock. Those are, like, everyone thinks of New York City as like, when you come here, this is where you come to make it. If you make it in New York, like, you're good. And we've always, as growing up in New York, like, those are the two places of like, you know, one A, one B, of like, the biggest places, like, venue-wise, most historic. So like, the fact that we're going to now

• 18:53Speaker 01

  do Madison Square Garden is just...

• 18:56Speaker 02

  Bro, they put us on the side of the building, like, we saw our faces on the side of fucking Madison Square Garden.

• 19:02Speaker 01

  Yeah. And the fuck, they had an episode playing in the, in the dome, in the, in the arena.

• 19:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's kinda funny that like, the first time I've ever been on that Jumbotron was the podcast playing, because I've never been on the Jumbotron.

• 19:18Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, when else would you have been on the Jumbotron?

• 19:20Speaker 02

  It's like, you're at a game, and you're like, "Hey!"

• 19:21Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 19:22Speaker 02

  I've never been on the Jumbotron before, so like...

• 19:24Speaker 01

  Okay, yeah.

• 19:25Speaker 02

  The first time was when they put our podcast up there.

• 19:27Speaker 01

  I think it makes sense that this would be the first time, Joey. I think most people...

• 19:30Speaker 02

  I mean, I've been to a lot of games. You would think at some point...

• 19:34Speaker 01

  But do you do, like, do you play to the camera when there, it's like, "All right, it's air guitar minute", you know, "Are you doing air guitar?"

• 19:40Speaker 02

  I mean, I move my shoulder. If, if they put me on, I'll fucking shred.

• 19:44Speaker 01

  I think you probably need to do something a little more in order to get on the, the Jumbotron.

• 19:47Speaker 02

  It's for the kids.

• 19:48Speaker 01

  And now, now you have.

• 19:50Speaker 02

  Now I have.

• 19:50Speaker 01

  It was just funny because the clip that was playing, I forgot what we were talking about, but it was obviously stupid. Just the fact that that is playing for the people in Radio City.

• 20:01Speaker 02

  Radio City?

• 20:02Speaker 01

  I mean, uh, Madison Square Garden.

• 20:04Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, because they were doing tours.

• 20:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:07Speaker 02

  They were doing tours when we went and shot, like, the promo stuff for MSG. And, uh, they had our podcast up there, and I was like, "I wonder if these Swedish people are like, who the fuck are these guys?"

• 20:16Speaker 01

  Probably, yeah. I mean, I, I, I, you know how I am. I'm the one that's just like, "Let's, if we're keeping it secret, let's fully keep it secret." So when I saw those tours, I was just like, "Oh shit, it's gonna leak."

• 20:26Speaker 02

  It's gonna leak in Norway.

• 20:29Speaker 01

  Now fucking Finland knows.

• 20:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:32Speaker 01

  Um, but, yeah, so, um, the show is, uh, Thursday, November 13th.

• 20:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, and guys, listen, the most important thing, July 16th, so...

• 20:43Speaker 02

  It's coming up, July 16th, uh, at 11 a.m. Use the code NYCF at thebasemyard.com for tickets. Alright, so that's gonna be the pre-sale, July 16th, 11 a.m. Eastern. The code is NYCF, and that's how you're gonna get your tickets, alright? That's the pre-sale, the general sale will be July 21st at 11 a.m. But as you guys know, like, for these bigger shows and whatever, a lot of the times, they go quickly, so I suggest everyone kinda jump in there on the pre-sale date, Wednesday, July 16th at 11 a.m. Eastern. Use the code NYCF, thebasemyard.com, you'll get all your tickets, okay?

• 21:26Speaker 01

  Are we allowed to say why it's NYCF?

• 21:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:30Speaker 02

  It's part of the New York Comedy Festival.

• 21:32Speaker 01

  Okay, I just wanted to make sure I know that they were like-

• 21:34Speaker 02

  That's why the, yeah, that's why it's NYCF and not Basement or something.

• 21:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, I figured, I just wanted to make sure, uh, they understood.

• 21:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, so I would, I would use code NYCF, I'll try to make them be like, yo, do Basement also.

• 21:47Speaker 01

  I mean, it, it is what it is. That's another layer of this, like, the fact that we're doing the New York Comedy Festival, which is also crazy.

• 21:55Speaker 02

  And that's why also we need our fans to really show up for this one, just because, like, there's so many- During the New York Comedy Festival, there's a lot of comedy shows that are happening in New York, so there is that sort of competition. The fact that we even got MSG is fucking crazy. And, uh, yeah, so, July 16th, 11 a.m., fucking code NYCF, thebasemyard.com. Come to fucking Madison Square Garden, watch the fucking biggest show that we'll fucking probably ever do.

• 22:24Speaker 01

  Unless we were to do the moon.

• 22:26Speaker 02

  Which isn't happening.

• 22:27Speaker 01

  Because it's not on this planet.

• 22:28Speaker 02

  Right, because I'm not getting in a rocket ship, and I know you're not either.

• 22:31Speaker 01

  Absolutely not, yeah, no, I'm staying on land, wherever I choose to go for a show.

• 22:36Speaker 02

  And I will say, uh, like I said, this is, like, we're not doing any shows next year, and who knows what the future holds, so- We don't, we don't know after MSG when the next Basement Yard show will be, so if you haven't been able to come to a show and you're thinking about it or whatever, like Dude, this is the one. Like, we're gonna try and go all out for this thing and like Just make it as special as possible, cuz it's like the most important and special thing in the world to us. To, to do this, like, our entire friends and family will be there. It'll just be like a fucking crazy night, so, uh, you know, everyone who showed up last year, You're getting a completely different show, so don't feel like, you know, "Oh, I went to Radio City, so I already saw it." It's, it's a completely different show now.

• 23:19Speaker 02

  Um, I, I think it's a lot better than, than where it was. Um, and, yeah, so just come on out, November 13th, get your tickets, July 16th at 11 a.m. Eastern. Code NYCF at thebasementyard.com. Come support your boys. Let's fucking sell this fucking bitch out.

• 23:37Speaker 01

  That'd be crazy.

• 23:38Speaker 02

  Let's fucking do it. I need it.

• 23:43Speaker 02

  I need it!

• 23:44Speaker 01

  Edge 'em, edge 'em. Say you're gonna buy the tickets and then take 'em out of your cart.

• 23:47Speaker 02

  You're just like, "Oh, I got 'em, I own got 'em, though."

• 23:50Speaker 01

  Edge 'em!

• 23:52Speaker 02

  Edge 'em.

• 23:53Speaker 01

  Edge 'em.

• 23:54Speaker 02

  Edge 'em.

• 23:54Speaker 01

  Um, yeah, crazy.

• 23:56Speaker 02

  Insane, dude, insane.

• 23:58Speaker 01

  Don't know where to go from there.

• 23:58Speaker 02

  Um, well, to From there, obviously, we have to talk about

• 24:03Speaker 01

  Naturally.

• 24:04Speaker 02

  The biggest thing on my radar right now Is that I've been seeing that red pandas are in the news.

• 24:10Speaker 01

  They're back!

• 24:11Speaker 02

  That's a top-five animal for me. I don't know how you feel about red pandas.

• 24:14Speaker 01

  Definitely not top-five. No, I wouldn't even say top-ten.

• 24:17Speaker 02

  Red pandas?

• 24:18Speaker 01

  Yeah! I don't really care much for them.

• 24:21Speaker 02

  What's your top-five animals?

• 24:22Speaker 01

  Well, lions, tigers, and bears, interchangeably. Um I really like dogs And cats. So there's five.

• 24:30Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 24:31Speaker 01

  Um

• 24:32Speaker 02

  Do you like anything, like, exotic? Like, not these boring ones?

• 24:35Speaker 01

  Cheetahs.

• 24:36Speaker 02

  Cheetahs are cool.

• 24:37Speaker 01

  Leopards. Panthers.

• 24:40Speaker 02

  Leopards are cheetahs to me, dude.

• 24:41Speaker 01

  No, they're not, though.

• 24:42Speaker 02

  Different coat, but like, come on. They're the same thing!

• 24:45Speaker 01

  Eh.

• 24:45Speaker 02

  Leopards aren't cheetahs?

• 24:47Speaker 01

  And Panthers.

• 24:48Speaker 02

  Elephants.

• 24:49Speaker 01

  Pretty cool. I like an elephant. Pretty cool. You like giraffes? I do like a giraffe. I love giraffes. I think they need to chill the fuck out, though. They're a little much for my liking. I think they could use a smaller tongue. I was gonna say, either be that, like, pattern or tall. You can't be both. Like, figure out. Like, you're taking, you're hogging up a really cool pattern that could be given to another small animal. And your height, you could also give to another animal and just keep the pattern. The pattern and the height combo, too much. I hate their knees. Yeah, I wanna hit their knees with a bat. Bro, a flamingo's knees? I could throw up right now. Bro, I, I've seen... Disgusting. I hate flamingos. Like, they just, I, I- I like that they stand on one leg. I think that's cool.

• 25:34Speaker 01

  I, like, recently, like, remembered that they're real animals, and I was just like, fuck, that sucks. Flamingos are actually a sight to see. They're so pink. Yeah, I would, but like, seeing one flamingo, I'd be like, alright, cool, where are we? A flock of flaming though. Ah, if I saw a flamboyance of flamingos? Yeah. Then I'm on board. Really cool. You've just distracted me from my whole thing. Red pandas, dude. They're okay. They're beaut- they're the cutest little things, and- I like lemurs more than them. Get the fuck outta here! Lemurs are way cooler. Than red pandas? Yeah! You're an idiot. What about that other one? They have the giant eyes. It's, it's called like a pygmy mar- mars- marmot? Even worse! No, they got big eyes, they're cute! No, they're not. Owls.

• 26:19Speaker 01

  Owls. Cooler than a, than a red panda. You're making me sick with owls. Is it 'cause of the edging, or is it just because I don't like the red pandas as much? No, I just think that red pandas are like adorable, and like- They're cute! When they try to, like, when they like get scared or something, they try to appear big, so they hold their paws up like this. Yeah, fine. Meerkats. You're, you're heartless and soulless. I'm not heartless and soulless. You don't like cute things. I love cute things! You like le- lemurs. Lemurs are so cute. Leemos are so cute. Spider monkeys, way cooler. Love gorillas, love all monkeys over- I love gorillas. I love over a fucking red panda. No, chimpanzees, get the fuck out of here. Uh, that's not, not the- Chimpanzees are like- Not the baboons, not the one that have the asses that look like they just got sat on a hot stove.

• 27:03Speaker 01

  What is with baboons' asses? I don't know, and, and quite frankly, like, they, also the ones with the, like, the big honker noses. Aren't those also baboons? Uh, quite possibly. How could you have two of those going on? You know what I'm saying? I don't know, but- Like, Rafiki was a baboon? He's a fucking assholes out? No, I think he was a, um, I don't think he was a, was he a baboon? I don't know. There's another name for him, but they're vicious, I'll tell you that. Yeah, dude. What movie was that? Tarzan. Yeah. They fucking- They're scary, dude. They got after him. Yeah, dude. Oh, the, the monkeys are fucking strong as hell. They'll rip your head off. I struggle to believe that, but- Dude, like a chimpanzee will literally rip you in half. Gorilla will, I get that. A chimpanzee? No.

• 27:49Speaker 01

  Won't rip you in half? No. I guarantee you. I'll get a chimpanzee in here- Put me in a room with a chimpanzee, I could wrestle it and win. It will literally detach your head from your spine and kick it across the fucking- Bro, chimpanzees are, what, at most? Four feet tall? There's no four-foot animal on the planet that could beat me up. Frank. What? A chimpanzee. Chimpanzee size.

• 28:17Speaker 01

  What do we got here?

• 28:19Speaker 01

  They're typically standing four to five and a half feet. Five and a half, now, that's closer to your height and you'd put up a fight, but-

• 28:29Speaker 01

  Four feet, I'm sorry. They're strong as fuck. How strong? How strong are they?

• 28:35Speaker 01

  A chimp would likely lift or pull 200 pounds. I can lift and pull 200 pounds as well, Joey. You can't lift 200 pounds over your head. Did it say over its head? It said lift. It says lift. I could lift 200 pounds too. Beat the shit out of you. No way. See, I just proved you wrong, live, large, and in public on this episode of- No way. The Basement Yard Podcast.

• 28:59Speaker 02

  Chimp muscle is 1.35 times as powerful as human muscle.

• 29:03Speaker 01

  Okay, so here, what you're saying is, a chimp is-

• 29:07Speaker 02

  And they have fast twitch muscle fiber.

• 29:09Speaker 01

  Okay, cool. A chimp is 1.35 times stronger than the average muscle fiber. So all I need to do is make myself stronger than the average man in order to have a better chance against a chimp? I think I can do it. I already think I'm stronger than the average man. I think that with consistent working out, weightlifting, uh, proper diet, I could be stronger than a chimp.

• 29:31Speaker 02

  This thing is also like way more agile than you would be.

• 29:34Speaker 01

  It will grab my wrists with its feet, and that's a problem.

• 29:37Speaker 02

  That is a problem. And it'll slap you in the face with their hands, and their hands are probably like my dad's hands.

• 29:44Speaker 01

  No, that's gorillas. Chimps are us.

• 29:48Speaker 02

  Chimps?

• 29:51Speaker 02

  Am I thinking of orangutans?

• 29:53Speaker 01

  Orangutans will beat the brakes off me.

• 29:55Speaker 02

  Is that the orang- those are the orange ones?

• 29:57Speaker 01

  Those are the orange ones.

• 29:57Speaker 02

  That's the one I'm thinking of.

• 29:58Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, orangutan. Bro, a chimp is like a smaller one, that's why you're saying like-

• 30:02Speaker 02

  I mean, this one's still fucking you up.

• 30:03Speaker 01

  Nah, it's not. An orangutan, those are the ones like-

• 30:06Speaker 02

  They just like sit and they're like, "What?"

• 30:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, the ones with the big face that are just like, "Fuck it, what's up bitch?"

• 30:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly.

• 30:11Speaker 01

  It looks like-

• 30:12Speaker 02

  Like an old guy.

• 30:12Speaker 01

  It looks like, uh, like, uh, like, uh, like, like it's been filled with like, water.

• 30:20Speaker 01

  Does that make sense?

• 30:22Speaker 02

  The, the orangutan?

• 30:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:23Speaker 02

  Why is it, what do you mean?

• 30:24Speaker 01

  It just looks like a waterbed feels.

• 30:28Speaker 02

  I've never been on a waterbed before.

• 30:30Speaker 01

  I have. Completely like, not great.

• 30:33Speaker 02

  Is it like, water?

• 30:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:35Speaker 02

  How is that comfortable to sleep on?

• 30:37Speaker 01

  Bro, if you've been on one of those like- There's a big ass fly in here. If you've been on one of those like pool floats, like, you know like the foam blue ones that are like mats that you lay on?

• 30:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 30:47Speaker 01

  That have the pillow on it?

• 30:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:48Speaker 01

  If you've been on that, you've in theory been on a waterbed.

• 30:52Speaker 02

  That's what it feels like?

• 30:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, it feels like you're on water. So every time you would like roll over or move in the slightest, it's-

• 30:58Speaker 02

  I don't like that.

• 30:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's why no one uses them anymore. They're also expensive, prone to breaking.

• 31:05Speaker 02

  Wasn't it like, uh- It was like a luxurious thing?

• 31:10Speaker 01

  It was, I remember-

• 31:11Speaker 02

  It was like a sexy thing, like, "Oh, let's have sex on my waterbed."

• 31:14Speaker 01

  Sex on waterbed? No!

• 31:15Speaker 02

  What?

• 31:16Speaker 01

  The, no, why, why?

• 31:17Speaker 02

  Like, imagine trying to have sex on a waterbed and the waves are clapping back at you.

• 31:22Speaker 01

  You're clapping cheeks while the waves are clapping your cheeks.

• 31:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:25Speaker 01

  That's basically what it would be.

• 31:26Speaker 02

  That would make it way harder.

• 31:28Speaker 01

  I imagine you would have to, like, tone down sex to some degree on a waterbed.

• 31:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:34Speaker 01

  Because if you're going at it hard, like-

• 31:36Speaker 02

  It really depends on what kind of moon you got. If you got a full moon, it's probably real wavy in there.

• 31:41Speaker 01

  I don't think the tides of a waterbed are affected by the moon, Joey.

• 31:45Speaker 02

  Listen, man. I think they are. The moon controls more than you think.

• 31:50Speaker 01

  It does, but I don't think it controls waterbeds.

• 31:53Speaker 02

  It just depends.

• 31:55Speaker 01

  I thought you meant like the moon because they say that, like, people react differently under a full moon.

• 32:00Speaker 02

  That too.

• 32:00Speaker 01

  That I think is true.

• 32:01Speaker 02

  They're hornier, they-

• 32:02Speaker 01

  Oh, I don't know about horny, but just different because our bodies are 75% water.

• 32:07Speaker 02

  Right. Oh, are you bought into that?

• 32:10Speaker 01

  A little bit.

• 32:11Speaker 02

  Really?

• 32:12Speaker 01

  I mean, it would make sense.

• 32:14Speaker 02

  You don't believe that the moon has any sort of effect on a waterbed, which, by the way, that was a joke. But like, but you believe that the water within you is affected by the, and it changes your mood or something?

• 32:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:31Speaker 02

  Got it.

• 32:31Speaker 01

  I do. I mean, I'm not like fully bought into it, but like, I don't disagree with it. You know, Becca like suggested the idea to me once, and I was just like, "That's crazy." And then there have been days where I've just been having off days and I look and be like, "Oh shit, it's a full moon." Maybe it's not crazy. I'm not saying I'm fully 100% bought in.

• 32:47Speaker 02

  You know what I don't get? Like, this idea that a full moon is like something to look at.

• 32:54Speaker 01

  It's beautiful. I-

• 32:55Speaker 02

  But it's like, it's not like rare.

• 32:58Speaker 01

  I mean, it's once every, what, 60 days or something like that?

• 33:01Speaker 02

  I mean, I feel like I see the moon, like, in its entirety a lot.

• 33:08Speaker 01

  I think numbers, just, just numbers will show you that you're wrong. I think it's one every-

• 33:12Speaker 02

  I'm not saying that I'm right. I'm just saying that like, it doesn't feel like, "Oh my god, it's a blue, it's a blue moon." It's a fucking, I would love a blue moon right now. But like, "Oh, look, it's a fucking, what's it called? It's a, it's a full moon."

• 33:24Speaker 01

  I think, I think it's pretty. I think-

• 33:25Speaker 02

  You think you get in a bad moon, you look up and you go, "Oh, of course, it's the moon."

• 33:29Speaker 01

  No, no, no. I, I'm not, like I said, I'm not entirely bought in on that idea. It's possible, but in terms of like, the full moon being like something to look at in the sky, I think it's pretty to look at. It's appealing.

• 33:39Speaker 02

  I think the moon is cool.

• 33:40Speaker 01

  I'll tell you this-

• 33:41Speaker 02

  I don't, it doesn't make sense that I could see craters. I, I'm wearing contacts.

• 33:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't know why, my eyesight is better looking at the moon-

• 33:47Speaker 02

  Than looking at a street sign?

• 33:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, I guess that kinda makes sense though, because it's so detailed and far away.

• 33:52Speaker 02

  Bro, but that would make it harder to read. It's, it's...

• 33:59Speaker 02

  Mad far! I was gonna look it up, but it's mad far.

• 34:02Speaker 01

  It's a far away.

• 34:02Speaker 02

  The moon is so far away and you can make out, like-

• 34:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:06Speaker 02

  Previces.

• 34:07Speaker 01

  We have a telescope.

• 34:07Speaker 02

  The fuck?

• 34:08Speaker 01

  We have a telescope every, you know, so often we'll, like, when it's a full moon, we'll go outside with the kids and we'll just look at the moon through the telescope.

• 34:14Speaker 02

  Hell yeah.

• 34:15Speaker 01

  And it's crazy, the detail that you could see on that bitch.

• 34:17Speaker 02

  What is that?

• 34:19Speaker 01

  The moon.

• 34:20Speaker 02

  That's not what I mean. Like, how can we see that? Even during the day, you can still see stuff on the moon. What the fuck? That doesn't make sense!

• 34:29Speaker 01

  It has to do with light.

• 34:34Speaker 01

  Pretty sure.

• 34:35Speaker 02

  Appreciate your input. Yeah, the, the sun is like reflecting off of it or something, I don't know, but like-

• 34:41Speaker 01

  Well, we always see the same side of the moon.

• 34:44Speaker 00

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• 35:13Speaker 01

  Regardless, I'm like, I'm just thinking about-

• 35:16Speaker 02

  What's the back look like?

• 35:16Speaker 01

  The, the-

• 35:18Speaker 02

  Dark. And icy.

• 35:21Speaker 01

  Definitely.

• 35:22Speaker 02

  Right?

• 35:22Speaker 01

  Because it never gets sun, ever.

• 35:24Speaker 02

  Let me ask you this. Do you believe in the moon landing?

• 35:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:31Speaker 02

  The video, like you're like, yep, they were there.

• 35:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:34Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 35:35Speaker 01

  You don't.

• 35:35Speaker 02

  I'm not saying that.

• 35:37Speaker 01

  So say it.

• 35:38Speaker 02

  Say what?

• 35:38Speaker 01

  Do you believe in it?

• 35:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:40Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 35:41Speaker 02

  Why, why?

• 35:43Speaker 01

  That was close.

• 35:44Speaker 02

  Of what?

• 35:44Speaker 01

  I thought you were gonna say that you're like one of those conspiracy theorists that thinks it was like staged by fucking.

• 35:50Speaker 02

  Um.

• 35:51Speaker 01

  Who's the, who's the director they said did it?

• 35:53Speaker 02

  I don't know. I think that it's not outside the realm of possibl- like I think that we went there. I don't, I think it's not outside the realm of possibility that that video is fake.

• 36:03Speaker 01

  Okay, that's fair. Stanley Kubrick was the one they said directed it, by the way.

• 36:06Speaker 02

  Stanley Kubrick?

• 36:09Speaker 02

  Really?

• 36:10Speaker 01

  Stanley Kubrick.

• 36:11Speaker 02

  He did the moon landing?

• 36:13Speaker 01

  The, the conspiracy theorists say that he directed it and then the movie The Shining is all basically an admission of guilt in having staged it.

• 36:24Speaker 02

  That's not what I got from that movie, but okay.

• 36:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, neither did I.

• 36:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:28Speaker 01

  But, no, that's, that's what, uh, like the conspiracy theorists say. Uh, yeah, no, I'm with you. Now, having known like.

• 36:36Speaker 02

  God, I wanna see the earth from space so bad, but I don't wanna go up there, bro.

• 36:39Speaker 01

  I'm very good.

• 36:40Speaker 02

  Like imagine being on the moon, you're standing on the moon and you're looking at earth.

• 36:43Speaker 01

  Well, I think there was, there was some astronaut that said that like, he's like, it completely fucked with my mind. Because every experience that has happened on our planet, every thought, every, every, everything, he's like, it's right there.

• 36:58Speaker 02

  That's so.

• 36:59Speaker 01

  That's fucking crazy.

• 37:00Speaker 02

  That's so!

• 37:01Speaker 01

  That is so.

• 37:02Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 37:03Speaker 01

  It is so.

• 37:03Speaker 02

  Oh my god, what the fuck?

• 37:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:06Speaker 02

  I, I don't even like.

• 37:06Speaker 01

  I don't, I don't like the idea of that because like, you know how I feel about like. Visualizing the concept of something, like for instance, the concept of time.

• 37:15Speaker 02

  I think what you're referring to is thinking.

• 37:19Speaker 02

  Visualizing the concept of something.

• 37:21Speaker 01

  No, no, no, but like, the concept of time is crazy to me, but then when I have something that I could see like a child. Like, oh shit, like, three weeks ago, you, you know what I mean? Like, that fucks me up.

• 37:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:33Speaker 01

  So like, the idea of sitting on a rock.

• 37:36Speaker 02

  And you're looking at earth.

• 37:37Speaker 01

  And you're looking at earth and you know that every single thing about you that we know about advanced life. Right, right there. You could do one of those pictures, you know how when people go, yeah, exactly.

• 37:53Speaker 02

  Black Earth!

• 37:54Speaker 01

  When people go to like the Leaning Tower of Pisa and they take the picture like holding it up?

• 37:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:59Speaker 01

  You can do that with Earth.

• 38:00Speaker 02

  It's gonna make me sick. Uh, we do have some sponsors, uh, for today, ladies and gentlemen. Uh, the first one being BetterHelp. Uh, BetterHelp is online therapy. It's going to help you. All right? Um, uh, you can start talking to a therapist in just under 48 hours. They have a very quick onboarding situation and they also make it very easy to jump from therapist to therapist so that you can find the right fit for you. Even if you don't have anything traumatic going on in your life, I still think it's very helpful to talk to a therapist. I talk to one every single week. It's great, but you don't have to talk to one every single week with BetterHelp. It's customizable, so you can talk to one, you know, once every other week or sporadically, like one time here, a couple of weeks there, or whatever. Uh, they make it very easy to kind of like cater to your needs as far as that goes.

• 38:42Speaker 02

  So, uh, if you haven't done therapy, but you've been thinking about it, take this as your sign to get into it. Um, you can get 10% off of your first month at betterhelp.com/basementyard. Okay, that is B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash basementyard and you will save 10% off of that first month. Okay, so go and enjoy BetterHelp, uh, and, uh, yeah. Um, and we also have FitBod, okay? It's never too late to, you know, get into exercise, go on your fitness journey and keep healthy and FitBod can help you do that because they create a personalized workout routine based on your goals, uh, your fitness level and your available equipment. So even if you have no experience in fitness, it's actually very educational because they

• 39:26Speaker 02

  have over a thousand HD, uh, demonstration videos, they can teach you the movements. So it's actually very educational and, I mean, I don't even think I know a thousand movements and I've been training for very long. So this is a, a great thing. Also, it's cheaper than going to a gym and doing a, a personal trainer. Sometimes that can be very expensive. Also, some people don't even have access to a gym, they don't have a lot of equipment. Even if you have all of those issues, uh, they will still create something that you can just do in your living room at whatever frequency you want. Um, you know, just body weight stuff or whatever. So it really is your fitness level, your goals and your available equipment. Um, and right now you can save 25% off of your subscription or try the app for free

• 40:09Speaker 02

  for seven days at fitbod.me/basement. Okay, that is F-I-T-B-O-D dot M-E slash basement. So. Go get into shape. Fitbod.me/basement.

• 40:21Speaker 01

  And listen, while you're on this mental health journey, physical wellness journey, whatever journey you're on, allow the basement yard to be a part of that journey. And how can you do that? Going over to patreon.com/thebasementyard. Thank you guys for the continued support. Uh, it is honestly mind blowing to us and we are, uh, over 34,000 paid patrons, one of the top podcasts on Patreon in the world, if you could believe it. Uh, and, uh, it's all because of you guys. So thank you so much. So, uh, if you want, if you have not for some reason heard, or you're just want to get a nice little quick reminder in here, go to patreon.com/thebasementyard. You sign up for these, uh, you know, that first tier, you get these episodes, these weekly episodes, one week in advance.

• 41:02Speaker 01

  You get it on the conversation before anyone else. You see a clip from on Tik Tok and you're like, what episode is that from? And you're like, it's a week ahead. That's how you can be in on that conversation. And then if you join that second tier, that's where you get exclusive episodes. Every single Friday that are a little more off the rails, a little crazier. We go after it a little bit. It's a little more fun. Not a little more fun. It's all fun. Everything is fun. Equal levels of fun. Uh, but you get those episodes exclusively every single Friday at 7:00 AM. So you could start your week and end your week with the basement yard. Thank you guys again. So make sure you go to patreon.com/thebasementyard. And if you want to save yourself a couple bucks, okay, go to, uh, that website on a web browser, whether it be Chrome, Safari, whatever,

• 41:43Speaker 01

  uh, and avoid using the app because the app charges you extra money because it needs to pay out, you know, whoever is owning the rights to that app or whatever. I'm not even sure how it works, but you can save yourself money by signing up for Patreon by doing it exclusively on the web browser version. So again, that's patreon.com/thebasementyard. And as we are recording, we just, uh, got back into shows. We did our first shows in Kansas City and St. Louis, uh, last week. It was a ton of fun. The crowd was incredible. The people were very nice. Uh, they, they were so kind and courteous to us and, uh, we had a really, really fun time. So, uh, one of the reasons those shows were so fun is because we liked them to be interactive. And how could you be in on the conversation if you're coming to any of these shows? Go to thebasementyard.com/submit.

• 42:29Speaker 01

  You're going to input what show you're coming to, and then you're going to answer a series of questions, prompts, uh, which The crazier or more interesting, maybe it'll get picked, maybe we'll talk to you, about you, with you at one of these shows, okay? So, we got shows coming up, San Diego and San Francisco, we'll be there next as of recording, and then after that, Atlantic City, and then we're going all over the place. So, go check it out, thebasementyard.com/submit. We love you, we thank you, we're excited to see ya.

• 43:01Speaker 02

  Alright.

• 43:02Speaker 01

  Back to the way, what, wait. So, I know what story you're referencing with the red pandas.

• 43:07Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 43:08Speaker 01

  Basically, that there was a hotel in China that is now in trouble because they were allowing people to pay money to be... Was it woken up by?

• 43:18Speaker 02

  Woken up.

• 43:19Speaker 01

  Woken up by red pandas during their stay?

• 43:21Speaker 02

  Yep. I absolutely would visit this hotel. I mean, if I could get woken up by red pandas anywhere, that's what I'm doing.

• 43:29Speaker 01

  But like, how, here's my question, and this is me just splitting hairs here, but like, how do they confirm that the thing is gonna wake you up? Because like, if I could put a red panda in this room, or, and by this room, I just mean like, our podcast set.

• 43:42Speaker 02

  I don't think it like, physically wakes you up. It's just like, first thing in the morning.

• 43:46Speaker 01

  If I'm paying my hard-earned money, I want this thing to get in bed with me.

• 43:51Speaker 02

  It's gonna.

• 43:52Speaker 01

  Or it may not.

• 43:54Speaker 02

  No, it's not gonna like, do the act of waking you up. What are you expecting a red panda to do for you?

• 43:59Speaker 01

  If I'm-

• 43:59Speaker 02

  Set off your alarm for ya? You wanna make it-

• 44:02Speaker 01

  Scratch my head, "Good morning."

• 44:04Speaker 02

  No, it's like, first thing you wake up, they put a red panda in your room, and he like, hangs out with you in your bed, and rolls around, and fucking laughs and shit. It's fucking fire, dude.

• 44:11Speaker 01

  Do red pandas laugh? Wait a second, that might be a game changer.

• 44:13Speaker 02

  I have no idea if they laugh, but I have seen them smile.

• 44:16Speaker 01

  I think they just like... Also, they look more like a raccoon than they do a panda.

• 44:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:22Speaker 01

  Which, you couldn't pay me to get a raccoon.

• 44:25Speaker 02

  Raccoons are very cute. They just have ugly hands.

• 44:28Speaker 01

  Raccoons suck, dude.

• 44:30Speaker 02

  They don't, I mean, they suck because they eat garbage and whatever, but like, if you held one and domesticated it, it'd be very cute.

• 44:37Speaker 01

  You sure about that?

• 44:38Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 44:38Speaker 01

  No, fuck that thing.

• 44:40Speaker 02

  Raccoons are definitely cute.

• 44:41Speaker 01

  First of all, they're built like a member of the Insane Clown Posse. I don't like this. I want this thing, it's not proportionately cute. It's got cute hands and a whatever-

• 44:51Speaker 02

  It has ugly hands.

• 44:52Speaker 01

  And a whatever face.

• 44:53Speaker 02

  No, they have very cute faces.

• 44:55Speaker 01

  The rest of his body looks like it's wearing JNCO jeans. I don't want that shit. Do you even know what a raccoon looks like? I do know what a raccoon looks like. Janko jeans? Do you know what a Janko jean looks like? Yes, I do. Well, then, that's what the raccoons look like they're wearing. How? They're baggy. They're not baggy. They're baggy. Raccoons? Yeah. Dude. I don't think you've seen a raccoon in your life. They're fat off trash. They're not fat off trash. I'm not gonna sit here while you talk about a raccoon like that. I saw, while you're pulling that up, I saw that the- Look how cute this thing is. Are you fucking kidding me?

• 45:32Speaker 01

  Frank. I don't like it. You don't like that? It's so fine, dude. And, and where's the Janko jeans? What are you talking about? Well, that's a great picture of a raccoon. That's all of the pictures of the raccoons. When's the last time you saw a raccoon- Look at this thing! That's not real. That's a stuffed animal. That's a real raccoon. It's just wet. No, no, no, bullshit. It's wet because he was outside playing in a fucking puddle, probably because it's so cute. Playing in a puddle. First of all, it looks like there's daylight out there, so you guess what that means about raccoons? Rabid. Look how cute. That's- That's three of them. That is three. In numbers, they do better. All these pictures are raccoons in the daylight, which lead me to believe that they're rabid because they're naturally nocturnal animals. I'll punch that thing in the face. Frankie.

• 46:12Speaker 01

  I could cry my eyes out looking at this. Are you kidding me? You don't like this? You're being contrarian. I'm not being contrarian. It's okay- This isn't cute? Because I know what's behind that little look. Rabies, a foaming mouth, dirty, grubby hands that go through- Not all raccoons have rabies. If it's out during the day- That's racist. If it's out during the- Don't, don't, don't! That's racist what you just did. No, don't you dare! You're racist against them. I'm not racist-ing. Oh, look, they're like, "Oh." The chances are, if a raccoon is out during the day, it has rabies. What you're looking at is sickly, on their basically deathbed raccoons.

• 46:47Speaker 01

  A raccoon being active during the day doesn't automatically mean it has rabies or is sick. I know, I didn't say automatically. I didn't say all the time. I said, "most likely." A preponderance of the evidence, 51% of the chance. You, you, but you're saying most likely and you're basing that on nothing. No, I, I'm basing that off of statistics. How much raccoon info do you have? Where's the data? Show the data. Joey, I've seen a lot of raccoons in my time. I'm sure you do. I've seen a lot of raccoons. I've seen more wildlife than you. No, you haven't. While raccoons are typically nocturnal, they can be out during the day for several reasons, including, including foraging for food. So you think just because raccoons are out there trying to make do for their family? They're also idiots. If I'm gonna forage for food and I'm afraid of people, I'm gonna do it when they're most sleeping at night. Dumb asses. I mean, they're hungry. They have to go get food.

• 47:31Speaker 01

  We sleep, they could sleep during the day. They need to regulate their cycle here. Okay? That's not how it works. That's exactly how it works. Sleep during the day, wake up at night when everyone is sleeping, forage for food. I mean, I think that's what they do. They're nocturnal. Not if they're going out during the day. They're working double shifts. They're trying to help their family. I am sympathetic to people that have to do that because that's a hard, that's hard. Okay? But I, I just have a thing against rodents, opossums. You just said a hard R right there and I didn't like the way you said rodents. I didn't like it, honestly. Rodents! Like, they're cute. I'm talking about raccoons, Joey. They're eat, they eat garbage, which isn't great. Technically, we eat garbage too, but it's just not garbaged garbage.

• 48:19Speaker 01

  What's an example? Well, garbage is subjective, Joey. I think you understand that. One man's trash is another man's treasure. But what do you eat that's garbage?

• 48:29Speaker 01

  I mean, people would call some of the food that we as Americans eat garbage. I'm asking for an example. Cheeseburgers. How is that garbage? Hot dogs. Same question? Some people might use their definition of garbage to define American cuisine as garbage. Yeah, in a, in a facetious kind of way of like, that's garbage. There's, there's a, there's facetious about. We're talking about waste. Yep. Is water not the waste of the earth? Nope. Are we not drinking the piss of earth? We aren't. Is our, our, uh, plants? I don't know what you're about to ask, but no is the answer.

• 49:08Speaker 01

  Are plants not the acne of our, of our planet?

• 49:15Speaker 02

  Your mind works in mysterious ways.

• 49:17Speaker 01

  Why?

• 49:17Speaker 02

  But, uh, pandas. Pandas, panda bears are like my favorite animal right now.

• 49:24Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 49:25Speaker 02

  I go in and out.

• 49:25Speaker 01

  So I saw that the number was like, it was like between basically like $250 and $500 to get this done.

• 49:31Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 49:32Speaker 01

  At a hotel in China.

• 49:34Speaker 02

  That's an easy add-on.

• 49:35Speaker 01

  You're doing that?

• 49:36Speaker 02

  Easily.

• 49:37Speaker 01

  Really?

• 49:37Speaker 02

  Easily. What the fuck?

• 49:39Speaker 01

  It's between the minibar or getting woken up by a panda?

• 49:42Speaker 02

  It's both. Also minibar in the morning. Who do you think I am?

• 49:46Speaker 01

  I mean, they have like breakfast stuff in there. They have like canned coffees and teas.

• 49:50Speaker 02

  I never do any of that.

• 49:51Speaker 01

  I don't either, but I've seen them.

• 49:52Speaker 02

  No, no, no. I'm getting the panda, dude, every time. Every time it's the panda. I mean, if every hotel had like animals that could wake you up, I would do it.

• 50:01Speaker 01

  Would you wear your panda while you're playing with a panda?

• 50:06Speaker 02

  I wouldn't. But a panda bear, I would, I wanna get my fucking arms around these things and like wrestle them a little bit.

• 50:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, and then it's gonna get its arms around your neck and choke ya.

• 50:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, it will kill me 100%. I think they bite too, which isn't great.

• 50:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, aren't they the only animal on the planet that eats bamboo?

• 50:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, they love bamboo. I've watched a video of a panda eating bamboo for so long, cause they like strip it and then eat like the inside part of it. I've watched one so long that I didn't realize it started over. And I don't even know, and like I can't even, I can't tell you how many times I watched it.

• 50:43Speaker 01

  You were, you were just mesmerized by a panda eating bamboo.

• 50:47Speaker 02

  It's so good.

• 50:48Speaker 01

  I will say, I, I haven't seen, as far as I can recall, any live videos of pandas eating bamboo.

• 50:57Speaker 01

  The crunch probably sounds incredible.

• 50:59Speaker 02

  Oh, it's the best.

• 51:01Speaker 01

  It's like, you know what I like? You ever get Chinese food and they have the water chestnuts in there? And you bite through it and it's kinda like, like a, like a harder apple?

• 51:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:09Speaker 01

  Is it like that? Or is it like a?

• 51:13Speaker 02

  Dude, I, I don't even know how to describe it. It's like a softer PVC pipe.

• 51:20Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 51:20Speaker 02

  It's kinda, it's kinda what it's like.

• 51:23Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 51:23Speaker 02

  It's crazy.

• 51:24Speaker 01

  I'm kinda bought in.

• 51:25Speaker 02

  Oh, it's, it's so good. There's an ASMR video on the internet that I've watched multiple times and it's of a horse eating like apples and like random shit.

• 51:32Speaker 01

  Love when horses eat carrots and apples and stuff.

• 51:34Speaker 02

  Fucking, nothing better than those big fucking stupid teeth chomping down on some apples, baby.

• 51:39Speaker 01

  What about the one, I always get nervous watching it, cause I'm like, oh no, it's gonna choke, but it doesn't. Where they throw a fucking full watermelon in a hippo's mouth.

• 51:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:49Speaker 01

  Or like a full pumpkin, or like a series of gourds.

• 51:53Speaker 02

  Bro.

• 51:53Speaker 01

  And this thing bites down and it, whatever was in its mouth.

• 51:57Speaker 02

  Explodes.

• 51:58Speaker 01

  Into billions of pieces.

• 52:00Speaker 02

  Dude, I always think about that when I watch like trainers feeding killer whales. I'm like, yo, you're throwing that fish in the back of his throat, give him a second to chew it.

• 52:08Speaker 01

  Well, a lot of those animals, and like I remember, if you look at like alligators or crocodiles, one or the other, if not both. They, like, their tongue like...

• 52:20Speaker 01

  Like, I'm sorry. But like...

• 52:22Speaker 02

  Apology not accepted, by the way, keep going.

• 52:24Speaker 01

  It like rests, so it like closes its throat.

• 52:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:30Speaker 01

  It's not like us. Like, ours is just like, eh, and it's just there, like...

• 52:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're just like throwing this thing like...

• 52:36Speaker 01

  Like they'll throw them in the back of their mouth and then they'll close their mouth and then open their tongue hole.

• 52:41Speaker 02

  It's crazy.

• 52:42Speaker 01

  Throat, I guess is the word that I'm looking for here.

• 52:44Speaker 02

  That's what you're thinking of as well.

• 52:45Speaker 01

  And then that's how they eat it. But like, I get nervous for these animals sometimes.

• 52:48Speaker 02

  I do too, cause it's like, oh, I want a little like treat. And then they fucking, Roger Clemens shows up and fires one in the back of this whale's throat. You know what I like watching? Seals go like this.

• 53:00Speaker 02

  They, when you see, if you watch videos of seals, they just go like this.

• 53:04Speaker 01

  Or I love when like, I've been...

• 53:06Speaker 02

  Great.

• 53:06Speaker 01

  Like, there's like a video I saw, I showed the girls once of like, a cat next to a seal and it does that thing where the cat like swats at it and the seal like dramatically like... And like rolls on its back and rolls over.

• 53:18Speaker 02

  Seals are fucking up there for me.

• 53:19Speaker 01

  Seals are up there, better than red pandas.

• 53:22Speaker 02

  What are, seals are, not seals. Yeah, I like seals, but what's the other one? That's like a seal, but bigger, walrus?

• 53:27Speaker 01

  Walr- walr- those are the ones with the tusks.

• 53:29Speaker 02

  Sea lions is what I mean.

• 53:30Speaker 01

  Sea lion, manatees.

• 53:31Speaker 02

  No, well, those are completely different. I love manatees though. Manatees and seals, dude?

• 53:38Speaker 01

  A sea. Manatees are sea cow, I'm sorry.

• 53:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 53:41Speaker 01

  Go ahead.

• 53:42Speaker 02

  Manatees are like the white pillowy things.

• 53:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right, I'm sorry.

• 53:45Speaker 02

  Which like, you can be in the water in Florida and they just pull up on you, you're not allowed to touch them, but I would.

• 53:51Speaker 02

  I'd give them a little like, hey.

• 53:53Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 53:53Speaker 02

  But they're like nice, they're like chill, they like eat like grass, like no one fucks with them.

• 53:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, there's like videos and like, like firsthand accounts of people getting like helped by these animals. Like, they'll be like, they drop their phone and it'll go grab their phone for them and shit like that.

• 54:09Speaker 02

  That's one of the craziest videos I've ever seen in my entire life. It was, I think it was like a, was it a manatee or a dolphin?

• 54:14Speaker 01

  One, prob, one of them.

• 54:16Speaker 02

  It's, the phone is on the fucking animal's face and it's coming up to the surface.

• 54:23Speaker 02

  I would have threw my phone, I would have played fetch all day.

• 54:26Speaker 01

  Fetch with your phone, yeah.

• 54:26Speaker 02

  I would have been like, fuck my phone, I'm taking this thing home.

• 54:30Speaker 01

  I just, here's my, here's the reason I don't want to go like swimming with dolphins or like befriend like aquatic animals. Or a lot of animals, I should say, is because.

• 54:39Speaker 02

  It does sound like you have something against animals.

• 54:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'll get my feelings hurt if they don't remember me. Because like.

• 54:45Speaker 02

  If they don't remember me?

• 54:47Speaker 01

  Yeah. If I'm go, if I'm spending time and vibing with this animal, if I go swimming with a dolphin, we have a beautiful, magical time. And then I just see, like, I go back in like two years and I'm like, remember me? And they're just like, who the fuck are you?

• 55:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:01Speaker 01

  That would hurt my feelings.

• 55:02Speaker 02

  So that's the reason?

• 55:04Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 55:05Speaker 02

  Okay. You do that with humans?

• 55:08Speaker 01

  I, I care less about humans.

• 55:10Speaker 02

  Right. I mean, it sounds like you don't, but you don't like animals?

• 55:14Speaker 01

  I like animals, but like I don't want to get too attached to them. Because then.

• 55:18Speaker 02

  Who's asking you to get attached? You're fucking swimming with a dolphin.

• 55:21Speaker 01

  Me.

• 55:22Speaker 02

  Right.

• 55:22Speaker 01

  I'm asking myself to get attached.

• 55:25Speaker 02

  Um, yeah, I don't know. I would, I haven't swi- swi- swi-

• 55:30Speaker 01

  Two?

• 55:31Speaker 02

  I think I struck out, that might have been three. Swi- swi- swi-

• 55:35Speaker 01

  Here's my question for you. Is there any animal that you could spend a night with that you're opening up the checkbook and it's just like blank check?

• 55:44Speaker 02

  What's blank check? Cause I'm not.

• 55:45Speaker 01

  Okay, a thousand dollars.

• 55:49Speaker 02

  That was way higher than that.

• 55:50Speaker 01

  Oh, five thousand dollars.

• 55:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm paying five thousand dollars to like, if you can guarantee that a panda won't hurt me and like we'll just cuddle, five Gs could get me for more, depending on like the day.

• 56:04Speaker 01

  And I don't want, like, I've seen people like in rooms like.

• 56:07Speaker 02

  One night, me and him, in a yurt.

• 56:10Speaker 01

  I've seen in a yurt.

• 56:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude.

• 56:12Speaker 01

  You're putting this thing outside of its natural habitat, it's gonna be dying in that thing.

• 56:16Speaker 02

  Don't they sleep outside? They're fucking animals.

• 56:18Speaker 01

  What are you gonna put them in, a hotel? Isn't a yurt like meant to be like a hotbox?

• 56:23Speaker 02

  It's like a teepee.

• 56:26Speaker 01

  Can we say that?

• 56:27Speaker 02

  What?

• 56:27Speaker 01

  Teepee?

• 56:28Speaker 02

  I don't know. Why are you saying that?

• 56:31Speaker 01

  I've heard people say that before that like.

• 56:34Speaker 02

  Don't say that?

• 56:34Speaker 01

  Don't say teepee.

• 56:36Speaker 02

  Yurt?

• 56:37Speaker 01

  Sure, yeah, you did the right thing.

• 56:38Speaker 02

  Going glamping with a panda, fine.

• 56:40Speaker 01

  Ooh, in a rainforest.

• 56:43Speaker 02

  Okay, you're talking about taking them out of their natural habitat now.

• 56:47Speaker 01

  Aren't there, aren't there rainforests in Japan?

• 56:50Speaker 02

  I actually have no idea what habitat they live in.

• 56:52Speaker 01

  I'm just thinking of, like, what's the movie? Tropic Thunder.

• 56:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:57Speaker 01

  Where he's like in a rainforest and then he fights a panda and kills it.

• 57:02Speaker 02

  Right. If you can guarantee my safety, I would pay.

• 57:07Speaker 01

  I'm gonna run through a couple animals and you tell me like, if you would pay the five thousand dollars, a night.

• 57:13Speaker 02

  Alright.

• 57:14Speaker 01

  Instance.

• 57:14Speaker 02

  I'm only doing one night, one magical night.

• 57:17Speaker 01

  Alright.

• 57:19Speaker 01

  A giant wolf.

• 57:23Speaker 01

  And by the way, none of these animals will hurt you.

• 57:26Speaker 02

  Right, right, right. Uh, wolf, no.

• 57:29Speaker 01

  Velociraptor.

• 57:31Speaker 02

  No, ew. Dinosaurs are fucking gross.

• 57:37Speaker 01

  Stegosaurus.

• 57:39Speaker 02

  Gross.

• 57:40Speaker 01

  Triceratops?

• 57:41Speaker 02

  All of them.

• 57:42Speaker 01

  Wow, okay, um.

• 57:46Speaker 01

  A baby elephant. Big elephants too much.

• 57:49Speaker 02

  No, I'm paying that, yeah.

• 57:50Speaker 01

  You're paying that?

• 57:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 57:51Speaker 01

  Grizzly, polar, black.

• 57:53Speaker 02

  Dumb question, don't even.

• 57:55Speaker 01

  All of them.

• 57:56Speaker 02

  Of course, all of them.

• 57:57Speaker 01

  Lion and or tiger?

• 57:59Speaker 02

  Without question. A tiger is so up on my list, dude.

• 58:03Speaker 01

  Dude, I love tiger. I also, like, in addition to like-

• 58:06Speaker 02

  I just wanna look at tiger and its fucking face.

• 58:07Speaker 01

  In addition to being cool animals, the design?

• 58:10Speaker 02

  Ahhh.

• 58:11Speaker 01

  Top tier animal design. Whomever, whomever created these animals.

• 58:15Speaker 02

  I wanna take a tiger by its head and just stare at it and have it look at me.

• 58:22Speaker 02

  For like, an afternoon.

• 58:23Speaker 01

  That picture of the tiger, like, fishing underwater, you know that picture?

• 58:29Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 58:29Speaker 01

  That's one of the greatest pictures I think that has ever existed in human existence.

• 58:35Speaker 02

  I'd let a tiger kill me. I think I'd let a tiger kill me.

• 58:38Speaker 01

  If you were to ask me, like, how could I go out?

• 58:41Speaker 02

  Let the tiger eat the fuck out of me.

• 58:43Speaker 01

  But like, sedate me. I don't wanna be awake, cuz that thing, that would be bad.

• 58:48Speaker 02

  I would just shoot Novocaine into all my extremities and then like, let it chew on my arm.

• 58:52Speaker 01

  Again, I said that, sedate me.

• 58:55Speaker 02

  Oh, I was thinking sedation, like, you're kind of like, out of it.

• 58:59Speaker 01

  Oh, sure, yeah.

• 59:00Speaker 02

  I just, I wanna be there, I wanna watch.

• 59:02Speaker 01

  Oh, you wanna, you wanna watch this thing gnaw on your jugular?

• 59:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:05Speaker 01

  Gotcha.

• 59:05Speaker 02

  Not my jugular, like, get my arm.

• 59:07Speaker 01

  So, we're on the same page?

• 59:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:08Speaker 01

  Novocaine is mostly for like, external, you know, like, skin level stuff, like, this thing bites you, you're gonna suffocate and die.

• 59:17Speaker 02

  It's gonna be a lot of Novocaine.

• 59:20Speaker 02

  We're gonna have to break the bank on Novocaine. Yeah. But it would be cool to, to have, just the last thing you see is just a lion, just, a lion, a tiger staring at you, and then just, rawr.

• 59:32Speaker 01

  I don't know, I don't know.

• 59:33Speaker 02

  Bites your head off.

• 59:33Speaker 01

  We have a different, if you were to say like, yo, listen, you're, you're on your way out, but we want, you wanna go out in a cool, like, radical way? Tiger fight.

• 59:44Speaker 02

  Tiger fight?

• 59:45Speaker 01

  Yeah. Like, put me with like the Liam Neeson like, glass bottles around my fists and let me fist fight a tiger. I'm dying every single.

• 59:55Speaker 02

  You know what I think about a lot? The scene in Tarzan where he, where like the tiger comes or like the cheetah, whatever. And was like fucking with the, the apes and then Tarzan shows up and he like wins or whatever fuck he's fighting or blah blah. But I think about the opposite, right? I think about if I'm walking around. And a fucking, uh, like a leopard is, is trying to attack me and then a gorilla saves my life.

• 1:00:23Speaker 01

  Super sick.

• 1:00:24Speaker 02

  First of all, that gorilla would, would have wasted its time. Because that is the greatest thing that would ever happen. I would just walk over and kill myself. Cause like, it's not gonna get better than that.

• 1:00:33Speaker 01

  Also, how fucking strong was Tarzan? He fucking full on clean, like this fucking leopard, cheetah, whatever it was. Over his head, like from a squat position.

• 1:00:46Speaker 02

  Unbelievable stuff.

• 1:00:48Speaker 01

  Strong, strong.

• 1:00:49Speaker 02

  Guy's, guy's strong.

• 1:00:50Speaker 01

  Guy's strong. I guess it makes sense, the swing from the vines, this guy's lats are probably.

• 1:00:54Speaker 02

  Oh my god, dude.

• 1:00:55Speaker 01

  Sculpted out of marble.

• 1:00:57Speaker 02

  The calisthenics.

• 1:00:58Speaker 01

  Yeah. And then, I mean, like you just think about like the amount of leg strength he needs to just swing.

• 1:01:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:03Speaker 01

  You know?

• 1:01:04Speaker 02

  First of all, you're holding on to a vine, your whole body with your toes, get the fuck.

• 1:01:07Speaker 01

  And he's just like, bro, and like swing.

• 1:01:10Speaker 02

  His core, his core.

• 1:01:12Speaker 01

  This guy is probably shredded. Of all the Disney characters, Tarzan's gotta be the most shredded, right?

• 1:01:16Speaker 02

  He's beating the shit out of all of them, dude.

• 1:01:19Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:01:20Speaker 02

  Who's beating the shit out of Tarzan?

• 1:01:22Speaker 01

  You could argue Gaston.

• 1:01:24Speaker 02

  Gaston's getting his ass handed to him.

• 1:01:27Speaker 01

  The beast? I'm talking the human ones. I guess beast technically was a beast.

• 1:01:32Speaker 02

  I mean, that would be a close one.

• 1:01:34Speaker 01

  What other human Disney?

• 1:01:35Speaker 02

  Gaston's getting his fucking little fancy asshole whooped.

• 1:01:40Speaker 01

  It's crazy thought about Gaston's asshole enough to call it fancy.

• 1:01:44Speaker 02

  I'm just seeing who wears those little fancy pants.

• 1:01:46Speaker 01

  I think they were just traditional like pants for the time.

• 1:01:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's what I mean.

• 1:01:52Speaker 02

  Tarzan doesn't even have pants. Doesn't need them.

• 1:01:54Speaker 01

  Probably shouldn't.

• 1:01:55Speaker 02

  Slap the dog shit out of Gaston.

• 1:01:56Speaker 01

  Probably wear pants. That's the other thing is like, you're in the jungle and this thing is swinging and you look up and you're just seeing Tarzan's fucking coin purse and dingle gong.

• 1:02:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're just, yeah, you're getting the whole fucking thing.

• 1:02:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:09Speaker 02

  Hey, you gotta think about the bugs. Alright, we're, we're off track now. Um, anyway, uh, we should probably talk about something pretty important and that is- Light Strike!

• 1:02:24Speaker 02

  That hurt. I don't even know what you said.

• 1:02:27Speaker 01

  It hurt my throat.

• 1:02:28Speaker 02

  Guys, uh, Light Strike, okay, this is a hard refresher. You've seen it on the show before, okay? You've been stricken by the light. If you guys haven't been stricken by the light actually yet, I don't know what you're waiting for because this is a hard refresher, it is refreshing, and it's hard, meaning that it has some alcohol in it, okay? It's 5% alcohol, so you gotta be 21 in order to get it, but it's a, is a, is a hard refresher, um, and it is lovely, okay? Uh, it's got, it's gluten-free, non-carbonated, sea salt, 10% coconut water, so it is good, man. I like this stuff on a hot summer day. It is beautiful, alright? Uh, it's an excellent source of 5% fucking alcohol.

• 1:03:11Speaker 02

  So go, uh, follow at Drink Light Strike, alright? Um, and get stricken. Get stricken by the light there, alright? So go follow them, at Drink Light Strike, or go to drinklightstrike.com, uh, and get yourself a little bottle. Go get yourself a hard refresher and enjoy that, alright, folks? And lastly here we have SeatGeek, okay? SeatGeek is a, uh, ticketing app. So you go on the App Store, you download SeatGeek, and then it will get you tickets to anything. You wanna come to a Basement Yard show? We're probably on SeatGeek. I actually ended up looking up the Basement Yard, uh, and there were some tickets on there and I was like, that's kinda crazy that we're on this app that I've been promoting for years, but- Anyway, if you want to go to anyone's concert, you want to go to a baseball game,

• 1:03:54Speaker 02

  or whatever this summer, you can get those tickets through SeatGeek. It's the number one rated ticketing app on the App Store, and it's just great. So, you know, go on their, on their, on their app, and you will see they're also transparent with the pricing. If something's labeled dark green, that means it's a good price. If it's dark red, they're like, ah, this is probably too expensive for, you know, the ticket. Like, whoever's listing it is asking for too much. So, I like the transparency, but right now, we can save you some money. You can get 10% off of any tickets that you get on SeatGeek with the code basement2025. All right? So, if you're gonna buy tickets to something, you might as well download SeatGeek and use basement2025 and save that 10%. All right? There you go.

• 1:04:36Speaker 01

  Very good. Um, I don't know if you saw, congratulations are in order.

• 1:04:42Speaker 02

  To whom?

• 1:04:43Speaker 01

  Us. Kinda more me than you, but we're a package deal.

• 1:04:51Speaker 01

  We take a lot of pride, if I can be serious for a sec. We take a lot of pride in what we do here.

• 1:04:58Speaker 01

  We often have people tell us, you know, the difference we've made in their lives, making them smile, happy, you know, get, help them get through tough times and stuff like that. So, being able to do something that is going to make a difference to just one person is a luxury, and it's beautiful, it's very meaningful to us. Getting to save something that is a staple of the community.

• 1:05:23Speaker 02

  I know where this is going now.

• 1:05:25Speaker 01

  Is.

• 1:05:26Speaker 02

  How many times are you gonna bring up Red Lobster? You didn't even go to a Red Lobster. You didn't buy any Red Lobster.

• 1:05:34Speaker 02

  Silence, crickets, crickets even. I can hear crickets and gnats flying out of your mouth, because you haven't gone to Red Lobster.

• 1:05:42Speaker 01

  I had not gotten the opportunity to go yet, but I have a gift card that they sent me waiting in my, waiting amongst my gift cards.

• 1:05:49Speaker 02

  Also, discrediting the 35-year-old CEO that's actually doing all the work, that's fucked up.

• 1:05:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, by the way, let's make this very clear.

• 1:05:54Speaker 02

  He's a very successful black man, also racist then.

• 1:05:56Speaker 01

  Wait, how the hell did?

• 1:05:57Speaker 02

  Racist, racist, racist.

• 1:06:00Speaker 01

  This guy clearly did a very, very difficult thing. While other of these, like, chain restaurants are failing, he brought Red Lobster out of bankruptcy, but we also helped save the company.

• 1:06:16Speaker 01

  We also help. I mean, if you think it's just me that's saying this, look at the dozens of people tweeting at us saying like Frank did it.

• 1:06:25Speaker 02

  The dozen, yeah.

• 1:06:27Speaker 01

  Dozens, a baker's dozens of people tweeting at us saying like, wow, you guys actually did this. It's this, good word of mouth helps promote support.

• 1:06:37Speaker 02

  I do want to get one of those seafood boil bags. They have like bags.

• 1:06:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, why did you say seafood at first?

• 1:06:45Speaker 02

  I don't even know. It's just sea foil was what I was gonna say.

• 1:06:47Speaker 01

  Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Yeah, I would, listen, Red Lobsters remain a staple in my family.

• 1:06:52Speaker 02

  Do you know what I saw? He did an interview recently. Out of the whole lobster,

• 1:07:00Speaker 02

  lobster, the whole crab, like, industry or whatever the fuck, like, the market, Red Lobster purchases a quarter of that.

• 1:07:10Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 1:07:11Speaker 02

  That is buh.

• 1:07:13Speaker 01

  Nanas. Well, you also have to think about the fact that there are, at this point, dozens, you know, how many do you think are left in the United States?

• 1:07:22Speaker 02

  Red Lobsters?

• 1:07:22Speaker 01

  Seventy?

• 1:07:24Speaker 02

  I don't even know how to, I would even come up with a guess.

• 1:07:27Speaker 01

  I mean, because remember they had to close down a bunch.

• 1:07:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I don't even know how many there were.

• 1:07:31Speaker 01

  Let's say.

• 1:07:32Speaker 02

  Are you making up numbers?

• 1:07:33Speaker 01

  I'm guessing. I'm guessing at least one per state, some states having more than one, you know?

• 1:07:39Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:07:40Speaker 01

  So let's, let's say for roundabout, you could look this up, honestly. Yeah. But let's say there's 70 Red Lobsters left in the United States. Think about the amount of lobsters that they have, and they're open seven days a week. So let's say they sell five lobsters a day. Thirty-five lobsters per location.

• 1:08:03Speaker 02

  That's not even crab and shrimps.

• 1:08:05Speaker 01

  Times 70.

• 1:08:08Speaker 01

  Thirty-five times 70 is what? Two hundred?

• 1:08:13Speaker 02

  They have 520.

• 1:08:15Speaker 01

  That's a couple.

• 1:08:16Speaker 02

  That is so many. As of July 2025, Red Lobster operates approximately 520 restaurants across the United States.

• 1:08:24Speaker 01

  Okay, so 520, they sell, let's, let's use more round numbers. 10 lobsters a day.

• 1:08:33Speaker 02

  It's way more than that.

• 1:08:35Speaker 01

  That's 5,200 a day, times 7, which is...

• 1:08:40Speaker 02

  Something.

• 1:08:41Speaker 01

  That's a lot.

• 1:08:42Speaker 02

  It's something. I know it's a number.

• 1:08:43Speaker 01

  It's, it's, it's a number, for sure.

• 1:08:45Speaker 02

  It is a number.

• 1:08:45Speaker 01

  So let's say 40,000 lobsters a week.

• 1:08:49Speaker 02

  That's nuts.

• 1:08:50Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 1:08:51Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 1:08:52Speaker 01

  I imagine that...

• 1:08:53Speaker 02

  You like lobster tail?

• 1:08:55Speaker 01

  Listen. You listening?

• 1:08:58Speaker 02

  I've got no choice.

• 1:08:59Speaker 01

  Crab?

• 1:09:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:09:01Speaker 01

  Shrimp?

• 1:09:06Speaker 02

  Lobster's that low?

• 1:09:07Speaker 01

  Lobster's low. I like a lobster roll, but like these people...

• 1:09:11Speaker 02

  Yeah!

• 1:09:11Speaker 01

  I've never in my life...

• 1:09:12Speaker 02

  Cold or hot?

• 1:09:14Speaker 01

  Either or. I'm fine with both.

• 1:09:16Speaker 02

  Make a decision.

• 1:09:17Speaker 01

  Hot?

• 1:09:19Speaker 02

  Yeah. I like hot, too.

• 1:09:22Speaker 01

  With parsley and butter on top?

• 1:09:25Speaker 02

  Not just butter. All of the butter.

• 1:09:29Speaker 01

  But like, hear me out...

• 1:09:30Speaker 02

  And mayonnaise sometimes.

• 1:09:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah! I, I like when they butter the, like, the, the bread, the bun is mayoed up.

• 1:09:39Speaker 01

  But like, I have not in my life done like the whole like, you get a lobster on a platter and it comes out like full lobster? I need to do that before I die.

• 1:09:46Speaker 02

  And start like breaking its hands and shit.

• 1:09:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, like you take a hammer and you crack open a claw.

• 1:09:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, I saw someone, uh, like boiling a lobster the other day and I, I don't have that in me. I wouldn't be able to cut its head off or whatever they do.

• 1:10:00Speaker 01

  I don't think they cut his head off. They, they...

• 1:10:01Speaker 02

  Well, they like cut his head in half.

• 1:10:03Speaker 01

  Do they?

• 1:10:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, they like take the, the knife and they put it like down and then they come down on its face.

• 1:10:09Speaker 01

  I saw that with a crab. I didn't see that with a lobster.

• 1:10:11Speaker 02

  With a lobster, yeah.

• 1:10:12Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 1:10:12Speaker 02

  No, it was a crab.

• 1:10:13Speaker 01

  I thought the thing that they do with, with crustaceans to make it more humane, you're still killing them, by the way.

• 1:10:19Speaker 02

  You have to kill them.

• 1:10:19Speaker 01

  Well, uh, no, the one that I saw is that they'll put them in like...

• 1:10:23Speaker 02

  Freezing cold water.

• 1:10:24Speaker 01

  Ice water, yeah. Like an ice bath first and it basically brings their... Like, heart rate to like, as close to zero as you can get without killing it. And then you throw them into hot water.

• 1:10:35Speaker 02

  Oh, I think you gotta kill them and then do that.

• 1:10:36Speaker 01

  Oh, maybe.

• 1:10:38Speaker 02

  Otherwise, you just heat them up.

• 1:10:39Speaker 01

  Then you just heat them back up.

• 1:10:40Speaker 02

  It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

• 1:10:41Speaker 01

  Oh, God. Yeah, no, fucked up, dude.

• 1:10:43Speaker 02

  Like, I wouldn't be able to, and I, I watched the video of someone doing it, and they were crying. So, it was pretty funny.

• 1:10:48Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:10:49Speaker 02

  But like, yeah, they were crying, uh, and I would-

• 1:10:51Speaker 01

  Have you ever taken, not a bug, an animal's life?

• 1:10:57Speaker 02

  Do you count putting down my dog? I mean, I didn't do it.

• 1:11:01Speaker 01

  I'm, I'm counting like, with your own hands and free will.

• 1:11:04Speaker 02

  Have I killed an animal?

• 1:11:06Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:11:07Speaker 02

  What are, what's an a- like, uh-

• 1:11:08Speaker 01

  An animal, not a bug.

• 1:11:11Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:11:12Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 1:11:13Speaker 02

  Have you?

• 1:11:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, um, that mouse, years ago.

• 1:11:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, I, I haven't killed a mouse. That was, that scared me that you did that.

• 1:11:22Speaker 01

  I was protecting my family.

• 1:11:23Speaker 02

  Uh, you were spiking the mouse, and like, your family was well protected once you had it in custody.

• 1:11:29Speaker 01

  I can't explain, I, I, I, in hindsight, fully acknowledge that that was ridiculous of me. Just so we're on the same page.

• 1:11:37Speaker 02

  We are.

• 1:11:37Speaker 01

  But, without it even being a bit, at the time, I felt this intense need to protect my family.

• 1:11:47Speaker 02

  From a mouse?

• 1:11:48Speaker 01

  Yeah. They can spread disease, which could be very harmful, and at the time-

• 1:11:51Speaker 02

  I'm aware of that.

• 1:11:52Speaker 01

  Ruby was very young, that first year of a child's life could be very, very, very detrimental to their health.

• 1:11:58Speaker 02

  Oh, okay. None of this is an excuse for when you grab a mouse, and you spike it.

• 1:12:05Speaker 01

  Well, we were playing a good old fashioned game of, you know, Mouse Hunt. Remember that movie, Mouse Hunt?

• 1:12:11Speaker 02

  Great movie.

• 1:12:12Speaker 01

  Underrated, Nathan Lane and Crispin Glover, I think?

• 1:12:15Speaker 02

  It was Nathan Lane, I don't know the other guy.

• 1:12:16Speaker 01

  Good movie, go watch it. I bet some of the kids had, I think they'd like it.

• 1:12:19Speaker 02

  How the fuck did they get that mouse to do shit?

• 1:12:22Speaker 01

  It was a CGI mouse.

• 1:12:26Speaker 01

  Was it? You think it was a real mouse making sandwiches on a toothpick? No, that kinda shit's sure, but like, there was like a real mouse in a lot of those scenes. Oh, like they get him to run from one area to another? I dunno. They've been training animals in Hollywood for years. You kidding me?

• 1:12:41Speaker 01

  They made a sandwich. Ratatouille, how did he do it? Well, that movie, it's, that is a cream of the crop. Remind me, I gotta tell you something after we're done recording. Cream of the crop, but like, yeah, they trained the mouse. It's not that hard. I'm not even kidding, like, at the time, I didn't feel, like, it felt like this was the thing I needed to do to protect my family. And I understand, protection for family is not necessarily like, "I'd kill someone for you." It's also like, mental, physical, you know, emotional protection. But in that moment, I saw red, I reverted back to whatever caveman I have been a descendant of. And I spiked that mouse into the garbage.

• 1:13:23Speaker 01

  That's so crazy. But you had it, you could've like, let it... No, no, no, it was on a glue trap. It was dead. If anything... That's even worse. No, if anything, I did it a favor.

• 1:13:35Speaker 01

  Oh, you're a hero. For psychotically spiking a mouse. First of all, this thing would've died the worst death in the world. Oh, so you are a hero. I, I don't know if hero is the right word, if that's the terminology you wanna, you know, label it as. Hey, man. Yeah. Your words. Oh, I saved this mouse. No, I didn't save it. I put it out of its misery. You like it, you are blood lusted. You are out for blood, you wanted to hear it crack. That's you. Um, I, there is no difference between you having put your dog down and out of its misery so it didn't suffer, and me spiking that mouse into the garbage. One is done in a humane way, the other is done in a spiking motion.

• 1:14:21Speaker 01

  While it's already trapped! We could sit here and pick- Your family is saved. We could sit here- No, because then he calls to his mouse boys.

• 1:14:30Speaker 01

  What would you rather me do?

• 1:14:31Speaker 02

  Text him?

• 1:14:32Speaker 01

  What would you rather me do? Shoot it with a gun?

• 1:14:34Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:14:35Speaker 01

  Inject it with a sleeping agent?

• 1:14:39Speaker 02

  That would be nice.

• 1:14:40Speaker 01

  I didn't have any sleeping agents on me that day.

• 1:14:43Speaker 02

  I, I, I, I don't know. I can't do it.

• 1:14:48Speaker 02

  I just don't look.

• 1:14:50Speaker 01

  I've thought about like, what happens if like, a dog like bites one of my kids and like won't let go?

• 1:14:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, you gotta, you gotta like kick it.

• 1:15:00Speaker 01

  I will kick it, hold it, Becca grab the kid and, and I will have to...

• 1:15:06Speaker 01

  I will have to prove my, my fatherhood.

• 1:15:10Speaker 02

  What does that mean?

• 1:15:12Speaker 01

  I don't know how I'm gonna react in those moments. I hope it never happens, knock on wood.

• 1:15:16Speaker 02

  Were you gonna like rip its head off or something?

• 1:15:18Speaker 01

  I don't know. Let's see what happens if it were to...

• 1:15:20Speaker 02

  I think you're a sick man.

• 1:15:21Speaker 01

  I don't think I'm sick.

• 1:15:22Speaker 02

  I think you're sick. I think you're sick.

• 1:15:24Speaker 01

  You really think I'm sick?

• 1:15:25Speaker 02

  Sick.

• 1:15:25Speaker 01

  You really think I'm sick?

• 1:15:26Speaker 02

  Yes. You're a sick man.

• 1:15:28Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:15:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:15:30Speaker 01

  Seriously, like?

• 1:15:30Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:15:32Speaker 01

  Like not a bit?

• 1:15:33Speaker 02

  Sick.

• 1:15:35Speaker 01

  Like?

• 1:15:36Speaker 02

  The sickest I've ever seen.

• 1:15:39Speaker 01

  I think you know-

• 1:15:39Speaker 02

  Disgusting.

• 1:15:40Speaker 01

  I think you know that I have a good heart, like I'm not a sick person.

• 1:15:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's your head that I'm worried about. Your heart's there, your head is interfering with the heart-

• 1:15:47Speaker 01

  Joey, let me ask you a question.

• 1:15:48Speaker 02

  And making sickness.

• 1:15:50Speaker 01

  You have a beautiful child.

• 1:15:51Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, you asked me this recently.

• 1:15:53Speaker 01

  Little walrus.

• 1:15:55Speaker 02

  You asked me this and I said that I would, I would fight the dog off. I would kick the dog.

• 1:15:59Speaker 01

  You'd kick the dog, but then it gets off and it comes back.

• 1:16:01Speaker 02

  And it comes back?

• 1:16:02Speaker 01

  And it comes back for more.

• 1:16:03Speaker 02

  I get in the way and I fight it again.

• 1:16:07Speaker 01

  And then it keeps coming back.

• 1:16:08Speaker 02

  Once it's off of my child-

• 1:16:09Speaker 01

  And then it keeps coming back.

• 1:16:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, and I keep fighting it.

• 1:16:12Speaker 01

  Until?

• 1:16:14Speaker 02

  Till I can get away from it.

• 1:16:15Speaker 01

  But you can't get away.

• 1:16:17Speaker 02

  Why not?

• 1:16:18Speaker 01

  It's coming after you.

• 1:16:22Speaker 02

  It's what I, I don't, I can't, I'm not gonna kill a dog with my hands. What are you, what are you expecting me to say here?

• 1:16:26Speaker 01

  I don't know. I'm not expecting you to say that.

• 1:16:28Speaker 02

  I think you are. You have a, you see, you have a sick look in your eyes-

• 1:16:31Speaker 01

  No, no, no.

• 1:16:31Speaker 02

  And you tried to make me jump in the sick tank.

• 1:16:37Speaker 02

  Sick tank.

• 1:16:38Speaker 01

  Take a swim. The water's nice.

• 1:16:41Speaker 02

  How do you swim? Take a swim.

• 1:16:46Speaker 02

  I haven't swam at night in a while and I really like that.

• 1:16:48Speaker 01

  Come on over, baby. That was way too sexual. I meant like, come hang out.

• 1:16:53Speaker 02

  You are sick, aren't you?

• 1:16:54Speaker 01

  Come hang out.

• 1:16:55Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:16:55Speaker 01

  We'll have wine by...

• 1:16:58Speaker 01

  There'll be a lot of people.

• 1:17:00Speaker 02

  We'll have wine, we'll skinny dip at night.

• 1:17:03Speaker 01

  There will be a lot of people around and we'll make it a big night swim.

• 1:17:06Speaker 02

  Is there lights in your pool?

• 1:17:07Speaker 01

  There are. I haven't figured out how to turn them on yet.

• 1:17:11Speaker 02

  Figure it out. Is there not a switch?

• 1:17:12Speaker 01

  There might be. I haven't found it.

• 1:17:14Speaker 02

  Got it. Okay. Does it, is it like a bunch of colors? I hate that.

• 1:17:19Speaker 01

  No, it's just...

• 1:17:20Speaker 02

  White.

• 1:17:20Speaker 01

  Yeah. I know your favorite.

• 1:17:22Speaker 02

  I know, yeah. I set myself up for that. Yeah.

• 1:17:26Speaker 01

  You don't like the mix of all those...

• 1:17:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:17:29Speaker 01

  Different colors, right?

• 1:17:30Speaker 02

  When some people, "Yo, come over", like, and their pool light's on, it's like red. I'm like, "The fuck is this?"

• 1:17:35Speaker 01

  Yeah, no. I mean, maybe I would do that.

• 1:17:39Speaker 02

  Is it heated?

• 1:17:40Speaker 01

  It's heated. I mean, it's the hottest fuck out. But it's not getting, it's not boiling water, Joey.

• 1:17:46Speaker 02

  I know, but I don't wanna swim at like ninety degrees.

• 1:17:48Speaker 01

  I think my heater is currently set to eighty.

• 1:17:53Speaker 02

  Too hot.

• 1:17:55Speaker 02

  You're sick.

• 1:17:57Speaker 01

  It needs to be at a certain temperature for the salt to kick in.

• 1:18:00Speaker 02

  Salt?

• 1:18:01Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 1:18:02Speaker 02

  Quick, you bounce.

• 1:18:02Speaker 01

  I don't know. I will say this, though, like...

• 1:18:06Speaker 01

  It is like, it feels like salt water. When I go in the water and like my hair dries up, it feels like when you're at the beach.

• 1:18:12Speaker 02

  Oh, like it's like a little coarse?

• 1:18:13Speaker 01

  A little, a little more coarse and grainy. You know, a lot of people, and I didn't know this until recently, a lot of people use salt water to like style their hair.

• 1:18:21Speaker 02

  I used to.

• 1:18:22Speaker 01

  I didn't know that.

• 1:18:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:18:24Speaker 01

  That's cool.

• 1:18:25Speaker 02

  It's like a, I think, yeah, like you, you just, I, I mean, that's what it says, like sea salt. I don't know if it's just that. I think there's other shit in there too.

• 1:18:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't know.

• 1:18:34Speaker 02

  They just sprayed. It's like, oh, you just like, a surfer just got back from the beach. It smells really good, too.

• 1:18:39Speaker 01

  I do like this smell, cause it smells like the beach.

• 1:18:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:18:43Speaker 01

  Have you ever heard the saying that apparently the beach makes you crap your pants?

• 1:18:47Speaker 02

  What?

• 1:18:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:48Speaker 02

  Why would that?

• 1:18:49Speaker 01

  I don't know why, but there's a, there's a, there's a-

• 1:18:52Speaker 02

  Like a saying?

• 1:18:53Speaker 01

  Like an old wives- Old wives tale, yeah. That like, if you're constipated, go to the beach, like, the salt water in the air will like, cut through you and it'll make you shit your pants.

• 1:19:05Speaker 02

  I mean, I've never had that happen.

• 1:19:07Speaker 01

  Neither have I.

• 1:19:08Speaker 02

  I've never been at the beach in like, yo, big trouble.

• 1:19:11Speaker 01

  Neither have I.

• 1:19:12Speaker 02

  Thank god.

• 1:19:16Speaker 01

  Dig a hole. I mean, go find a bathroom, but if you can't, then you just dig a hole.

• 1:19:21Speaker 02

  That's so crazy.

• 1:19:22Speaker 01

  Have you ever seen the people that bring like, bathroom, like, stand-up tents to the beach?

• 1:19:28Speaker 02

  Bro, get it together, these people. What are we doing?

• 1:19:32Speaker 01

  Some people need, need the convenience of a bathroom right there.

• 1:19:35Speaker 02

  So nuts. You're taking a crap, I'm right here. I'm right here on the beach, you're taking a crap.

• 1:19:41Speaker 01

  What's the difference between someone going behind a, a door and taking a crap, and going in a tent and zipping it up and taking a crap?

• 1:19:47Speaker 02

  It's not on the beach.

• 1:19:49Speaker 01

  Whether it be on the beach or right next to you, what's the difference?

• 1:19:51Speaker 02

  There isn't a bathroom right on the beach. It's like on the boardwalk.

• 1:19:55Speaker 01

  Correct.

• 1:19:56Speaker 02

  That's the difference. The difference is I'm laying out here in minimal clothing and you're taking a shit into the wind, and it's hitting me in the face.

• 1:20:04Speaker 01

  I guess.

• 1:20:05Speaker 02

  That's not great. Also, those little outhouses-

• 1:20:07Speaker 01

  Well, not in the wind, they're in, they're in a tent.

• 1:20:09Speaker 02

  Dude, when I was in, uh, Washington, we stayed on this dude's property, and he had to provide a bathroom, and he had one of these zip-up things. And it was just two buckets.

• 1:20:22Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 1:20:23Speaker 02

  And like, one bucket had like, a toilet seat on it, and then a bag in it, and then the other had a bag and a bunch of sawdust.

• 1:20:32Speaker 01

  For-

• 1:20:33Speaker 02

  And he's like, yo, you go in, you shit in this thing, and then you throw sawdust in it, and you close it, and then you wrap it up and throw it out.

• 1:20:39Speaker 01

  That's actually really smart, because that, that guy probably uses that as fertilizer.

• 1:20:45Speaker 02

  I don't, I don't know if he does.

• 1:20:47Speaker 01

  I imagine-

• 1:20:47Speaker 02

  But that would be kind of bananas.

• 1:20:49Speaker 01

  If, I'm not doing this, but if I were to have, like, some form of human shit collection.

• 1:20:58Speaker 02

  Some sort of collection.

• 1:21:01Speaker 01

  That would be the smart thing to do. Mix it with a material like sawdust or, or leaves.

• 1:21:07Speaker 02

  Is, so, I've heard that before, that human shit is like a fertilizer, but like, is it just that? Like, you don't have to like, like, there's not other ingredients in fertilizer, it's just straight?

• 1:21:18Speaker 01

  I mean, manure is manure, it's just cow shit.

• 1:21:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, is it?

• 1:21:24Speaker 01

  Yeah. People fertilize their lawns with cow shit. It's been happening for hundreds of years.

• 1:21:29Speaker 02

  But that don't make the whole hood stink?

• 1:21:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, it does. You smell that shit, but you have real-

• 1:21:34Speaker 02

  I don't hate it. I really don't hate cow, horse shit.

• 1:21:37Speaker 01

  Horse shit, cow shit, I love it.

• 1:21:39Speaker 02

  Horse shit's the greatest shit. I love the smell of horse shit.

• 1:21:42Speaker 01

  Honestly, even like, any, any animals crap at a farm, because that's what you're smelling.

• 1:21:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:48Speaker 01

  You're smelling their shit.

• 1:21:49Speaker 02

  I like the smell of shit at a farm. And I don't, I don't wanna smell like horse shit, but I want to smell horse shit.

• 1:21:56Speaker 01

  I don't want, uh, but also, I'm fine that it's contained to a farm. Like, I don't need to smell it all the time. Like, if they had like, horse shit candles?

• 1:22:05Speaker 02

  I would light it.

• 1:22:07Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:22:07Speaker 02

  Not all the time, just on special days.

• 1:22:09Speaker 01

  I wonder if they have like, a farm candle?

• 1:22:12Speaker 02

  Like a farm candle that smells like an old sheep and like a pile of horse shit, dude. I'm lighting that up. On my birthday, for sure. Like, definitely on my birthday.

• 1:22:23Speaker 01

  They have like, I'm only finding ones that are like, they smell, like, they're made at a farm. Farm smelling candles is what we want.

• 1:22:33Speaker 02

  And I don't think it's that, that hot of a take, because people like the smell of fresh cut grass.

• 1:22:39Speaker 01

  Look, that's one of the five greatest smells on the planet.

• 1:22:42Speaker 02

  I like that too.

• 1:22:44Speaker 01

  I heard sometime, one time recently though, that, something that like, made me sad, is that what you're smelling is like a scent that the, that the grass is giving off to like, warn its other grass friends that it's being attacked.

• 1:22:56Speaker 02

  Bit late for that.

• 1:22:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:59Speaker 01

  Um-

• 1:22:59Speaker 02

  Wait, what? Is that real?

• 1:23:01Speaker 01

  That's what I've heard, yeah.

• 1:23:03Speaker 02

  Damn dude.

• 1:23:05Speaker 01

  Um, Homesick Candles. Free plug for them, I guess. I'm trying to find, I don't see any, they have a Harry-

• 1:23:12Speaker 02

  Spend more time looking it up.

• 1:23:13Speaker 01

  They have a Harry Potter collection of candles. That's all for you, Joey.

• 1:23:16Speaker 02

  Are they gonna smell like Hermione?

• 1:23:19Speaker 02

  Smell like Ronald Weasley, like an old boot?

• 1:23:20Speaker 01

  You could smell like the Gryffindor common room. You wouldn't want to.

• 1:23:24Speaker 02

  I wouldn't even know what it smells like. It could be anything.

• 1:23:27Speaker 01

  Old books, leather.

• 1:23:29Speaker 02

  Love an old book smell.

• 1:23:30Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 1:23:31Speaker 02

  I wish I could smell the first bible. Oh, it probably stinks. It probably stinks so good. The first bible, an old bible? Oh my, I would just

• 1:23:46Speaker 02

  Oh, it'd be so good, dude.

• 1:23:47Speaker 01

  First of all, if you did that to one of the pages-

• 1:23:49Speaker 02

  They'd explode.

• 1:23:50Speaker 01

  Dust. I would, I would-

• 1:23:53Speaker 02

  I've put my nose up against the s- not the spine.

• 1:23:56Speaker 01

  Like the inside, the ass crack.

• 1:23:57Speaker 02

  Like the, yeah, well, no, yeah.

• 1:23:59Speaker 01

  You've eaten the ass of a book.

• 1:24:01Speaker 02

  You know what I've done before?

• 1:24:02Speaker 01

  That's underrated?

• 1:24:04Speaker 02

  You open a book and there's this little gap that forms at the spine.

• 1:24:08Speaker 01

  Ooh!

• 1:24:09Speaker 02

  Put your finger in and you slam the book on your own finger. It's great. It's a great exercise. I love it.

• 1:24:15Speaker 01

  My gasp was because I thought that was going in a really different direction.

• 1:24:19Speaker 02

  What?

• 1:24:20Speaker 01

  I thought you were gonna like smell the book there.

• 1:24:24Speaker 02

  I've done that. I've, I've literally put my nose against like all the pages and then like

• 1:24:30Speaker 02

  smashed the book on my nose. Dude, I'm an idiot with books. I swear to god, I'm a weird fuck with books. I don't know why.

• 1:24:36Speaker 01

  You've spent more time smelling them than reading them.

• 1:24:39Speaker 02

  Without question. Without question.

• 1:24:42Speaker 01

  But I hear what you're saying, like, bro, and if it's like, I'm telling you right now, here we are in book porn, by the way.

• 1:24:47Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 1:24:48Speaker 01

  If it's like a book from like the sixties and the pages have like browned and they get like, you know what color I'm talking about? It's like a manila browning of the pages.

• 1:24:58Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 1:24:58Speaker 01

  And then you open, and it's a paperback book and you open it and you just shove your fucking, you eat the ass of that fucking book and you're just like Oh!

• 1:25:07Speaker 02

  I do, I, I'd like that a lot. It's so good.

• 1:25:11Speaker 01

  Book smell? You know what smell?

• 1:25:13Speaker 02

  What is that? What is the smell? What is it?

• 1:25:16Speaker 01

  Who cares? Don't fi- don't try to figure it out, because then someone's gonna try to make it and they're gonna fucking ruin it for everyone. Textbooks, though? You're not a real book.

• 1:25:23Speaker 02

  Textbooks suck.

• 1:25:25Speaker 01

  That have that like shiny.

• 1:25:27Speaker 02

  Ew.

• 1:25:28Speaker 01

  Shimmering. You know what I'm talking about, right? It's like a sheen on the pages. It's paper, but it's like plastic.

• 1:25:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like, ugh.

• 1:25:35Speaker 01

  Fuck you, textbooks.

• 1:25:36Speaker 02

  I hate that.

• 1:25:39Speaker 02

  Oh, you know what I like? You know when books have like a painted edge of the page like gold? And it's kind of like they li- and then they all lines up?

• 1:25:47Speaker 01

  You know what's really good? You know what's really good? By the way, do you remember Ricardo's mom used to write his name?

• 1:25:54Speaker 02

  On the pages?

• 1:25:55Speaker 01

  On the pages in the spine and he'd go like that and like, it was like magic. They would like, both ways it would say his name.

• 1:26:01Speaker 02

  Oh, and you would bend it and say Ricardo and then it'd say his last name. Almost at it, but like, it would do that.

• 1:26:05Speaker 01

  You could say it. We, we, we let Muhammad's name go earlier.

• 1:26:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:26:09Speaker 01

  One of those names is significantly more common than the other. Go find a Muhammad.

• 1:26:15Speaker 01

  But, uh, you know what smell also gets me? New shoes.

• 1:26:22Speaker 02

  Tennis balls, new shoes.

• 1:26:24Speaker 01

  Tennis ball!

• 1:26:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, tennis balls are good.

• 1:26:28Speaker 02

  I like, I like, I, I like, what do I like?

• 1:26:38Speaker 02

  But like, it's not glue. It's just the collection of

• 1:26:46Speaker 02

  school supplies.

• 1:26:48Speaker 01

  Mostly crayons.

• 1:26:50Speaker 02

  It's crayons, but it's mixed with the glue and it's mixed with the inside of a pencil case.

• 1:26:56Speaker 01

  Guys, you got to get, you, you beat me to it. If you were to take 2001, let's go 2002, there were some other.

• 1:27:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was a rough year.

• 1:27:07Speaker 01

  Jo- Little Joey's

• 1:27:10Speaker 01

  five-star pencil case. And you were to zip it open, hold it open, and then just sniff in there?

• 1:27:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:27:19Speaker 01

  Crack cocaine, folks.

• 1:27:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, it is.

• 1:27:21Speaker 01

  Let me tell ya.

• 1:27:21Speaker 02

  I love that shit.

• 1:27:22Speaker 01

  I, a million ti- if they made pencil case flavored candles.

• 1:27:29Speaker 02

  I also have chewed on a bunch of erasers my whole life.

• 1:27:31Speaker 01

  We've talked about that, we've talked about that a lot.

• 1:27:33Speaker 02

  Love that.

• 1:27:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, you, you, you, you're a big fan. I used to poke, I used to sharpen my pencils and like, poke the eraser and then break it off in there. So I was just like, it's like I stabbed it.

• 1:27:45Speaker 01

  Not helping the whole I'm sick thing.

• 1:27:50Speaker 01

  And then I would, like, I was fucking Dr. Frankenstein. I would break the eraser and then staple it together.

• 1:27:57Speaker 02

  What do you get out of that? You would rip the eraser apart and then staple it back together?

• 1:28:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:28:04Speaker 02

  I've never done that.

• 1:28:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:28:05Speaker 02

  I didn't even know you could do that.

• 1:28:07Speaker 01

  Or what about those fucking fancy erasers that came with like the paper sleeve around it?

• 1:28:13Speaker 02

  Like the big pink ones?

• 1:28:14Speaker 01

  No, the big white ones.

• 1:28:16Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:28:17Speaker 01

  The pink ones are peak human design.

• 1:28:20Speaker 02

  Love them.

• 1:28:20Speaker 01

  Absolutely incredible.

• 1:28:21Speaker 02

  Love them. Still, like, how does it, how does it work? Every so often you would get a pencil and the eraser is like, covered in like this like, weird.

• 1:28:31Speaker 01

  Yesterday it happened to me.

• 1:28:32Speaker 02

  And you're like, and then it starts do- putting pink on the, and I'm like, bro, what the fuck is this?

• 1:28:36Speaker 01

  Yo, that happened to me yesterday. I was hanging something up in the house and I put a line and I went to go erase it. And it was like a fucking wet eraser. Like, it was like melted.

• 1:28:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:28:46Speaker 01

  And it was all over the wall, so I had to go fucking clean the wall. I was pissed off.

• 1:28:49Speaker 02

  Hate this shit, dude. But, anyway.

• 1:28:52Speaker 01

  Folks.

• 1:28:53Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no.

• 1:28:53Speaker 01

  There you have it.

• 1:28:54Speaker 02

  Let's keep talking, let's just keep going.

• 1:28:55Speaker 01

  About what?

• 1:28:56Speaker 02

  Eh, whatever, whatever you wanna talk about.

• 1:28:57Speaker 01

  What do you, what? You watching anything good?

• 1:29:02Speaker 02

  Love Island.

• 1:29:02Speaker 01

  Oh, so no?

• 1:29:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:29:04Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:29:06Speaker 02

  I think, yeah.

• 1:29:07Speaker 01

  I used to watch Ironheart. I used to watch it. It's pretty good.

• 1:29:12Speaker 02

  What is that?

• 1:29:13Speaker 01

  Ironheart. It's the new Marvel show.

• 1:29:14Speaker 02

  Oh. I thought you were talking about Iron Claw. Watched that.

• 1:29:18Speaker 01

  That was good. Different reasons.

• 1:29:20Speaker 02

  Lot of Sue in that.

• 1:29:21Speaker 01

  That got ya, that got ya a couple times.

• 1:29:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:29:25Speaker 01

  What else?

• 1:29:29Speaker 02

  I have nothing Frank. And it seems like neither do you.

• 1:29:32Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 1:29:34Speaker 02

  Well, there you have it folks.

• 1:29:34Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:29:35Speaker 02

  Um, look, like we said, fucking biggest show of our lives. The boys are at Madison Square Garden, uh, fucking July 16th, 11 a.m. at thebasementyard.com. The code is NYCF. Go get your tickets. We need everyone to show up for us. Fucking sell this bitch out. Go out with a bang. You know what I mean?

• 1:29:58Speaker 01

  Bang!

• 1:29:58Speaker 02

  Oh, this is gonna be- Go out with a ba- and do the background. We're gonna go out with a bang!

• 1:30:05Speaker 01

  I thought you were gonna say bang!

• 1:30:06Speaker 02

  Oh, I'll do it again, go ahead. All right, Madison Square Garden, July 16th, uh, pre-sale at 11 a.m. Code is NYCF at thebasementyard.com. Get your tickets. The boys are going out with a bang.

• 1:30:18Speaker 01

  Bang!

• 1:30:19Speaker 02

  Bang!

• 1:30:20Speaker 01

  Bang!

• 1:30:21Speaker 02

  Bang!

• 1:30:25Speaker 01

  That was a good explosion!

• 1:30:26Speaker 02

  That was the best explosion I've ever done with my mouth.

• 1:30:30Speaker 02

  I can't believe I said that.

• 1:30:31Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 1:30:32Speaker 02

  I can't believe, I often-

• 1:30:33Speaker 01

  That's where we're gonna end.

• 1:30:34Speaker 02

  No! No! Guys, basementyard.com, July 16th. Fucking get 'em, alright? And that is all. See you guys next time.

• 1:30:44Speaker 01

  Next time.