#504 - Lifting The World's Heaviest Mug!

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• 0:01Speaker 00

  Pink Pantheress here. Coach and Spotify are teaming up to bring music and style together, and they want you to be part of it. Grab your friends and head to the Tabby Tour, hitting cities around the country with live performances from special artists, exclusive experiences, and personalized products. And discover custom playlists on Spotify, booked just for you, based on who you are and how you listen. Live your story with Coach. Learn more at coach.com.

• 0:28Speaker 01

  Welcome back to the basement.

• 0:34Speaker 02

  Welcome back to the basement yard.

• 0:37Speaker 01

  Sexy love, girl, the things you do.

• 0:41Speaker 02

  Ooh, baby, baby.

• 0:42Speaker 01

  Keep me sprung.

• 0:43Speaker 02

  That was so good, I can't even continue.

• 0:45Speaker 01

  Keep me running back to you.

• 0:46Speaker 02

  Running back to you.

• 0:47Speaker 01

  Know my love, making love to you.

• 0:52Speaker 02

  That song's been in my head for like a year.

• 0:53Speaker 01

  You just sang it before we started recording, and I figured I might as well start with that.

• 0:56Speaker 02

  I literally, like, for a year, this has been in my head.

• 0:58Speaker 01

  You know what I completely forgot about until I was recently listening to my 2007 hits?

• 1:04Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:05Speaker 01

  Remember the dream, the American dream?

• 1:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude.

• 1:09Speaker 01

  Love your girl, lil mama so fly. Love your girl.

• 1:12Speaker 02

  Radio killer.

• 1:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, you remember?

• 1:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude, this is great.

• 1:17Speaker 01

  It was a bootleg ass Neo, though. Neo's stuck around because...

• 1:21Speaker 02

  Fedoras. They keep them in.

• 1:23Speaker 01

  I think the dream wore a fedora.

• 1:24Speaker 02

  You remember when it was like a huge deal that were like, "Yo, Neo took the fedora off, he's bald."

• 1:29Speaker 01

  Oh, I don't remember that.

• 1:30Speaker 02

  You don't know that?

• 1:31Speaker 01

  I remember, this is, see, this is something that I'm glad you brought up.

• 1:36Speaker 02

  Neo being bald?

• 1:37Speaker 01

  Fedoras.

• 1:38Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm not.

• 1:39Speaker 01

  You are.

• 1:40Speaker 02

  I'm not talking.

• 1:40Speaker 01

  We're gonna. Fedoras were like a thing at one point. And then, no, no, no, not just me.

• 1:46Speaker 02

  To you.

• 1:47Speaker 01

  They were across the globe a thing. Like, people were wearing fedoras like...

• 1:50Speaker 02

  With old Cuban men in Miami.

• 1:52Speaker 01

  No, Jason Mraz was doing it.

• 1:54Speaker 02

  Oh, and, yeah, them.

• 1:55Speaker 01

  Like, Ashley Tisdale, you know?

• 1:58Speaker 02

  Ashley Tisdale, and then like, also like Lumineers, people who dress like Lumineers.

• 2:02Speaker 01

  Yes, exactly. Like, the band Fun.

• 2:05Speaker 02

  And then you.

• 2:07Speaker 01

  I'm just saying, like, people look back on it, and now fedoras have come to a place where they're a joke, where it's like, "M'lady," you know, like, you know, hmm. You know, like, a redditor.

• 2:18Speaker 02

  I think, if I'm looking at a fedora, I don't think they're that bad.

• 2:25Speaker 02

  I think it's like when it's, when it's the accessory to the rest of the outfit, it's like, what are we doing?

• 2:29Speaker 01

  Well, I think, well, that's what a fucking hat literally is.

• 2:33Speaker 02

  No, but that's what I'm saying, but like as a, as a single thing I'm looking at, I'm like, oh, okay, this is like a hat.

• 2:37Speaker 01

  I think we have come to a place now where like fedoras found their lane and it's an older Hispanic men. Like, I think we can all agree that people in their late teens,

• 2:52Speaker 01

  like me.

• 2:53Speaker 02

  Wearing fedoras is a mistake.

• 2:55Speaker 01

  It was a mistake, but it also worked well for me. Like I was past my fitted phase. I was in a weird, it was right before the snapback phase.

• 3:03Speaker 02

  You were trying to find your footing.

• 3:04Speaker 01

  I had to reestablish, you know, Joey, we've talked about this openly and honestly. I've been a trendsetter. I am at the forefront of most fashion trends by design. Not even by design, by coincidence is what I'm trying to say. I start wearing something and then it gets popular.

• 3:25Speaker 02

  Fedoras.

• 3:25Speaker 01

  Fedoras. Hawaiian shirts, snapbacks. It was me.

• 3:31Speaker 02

  You are credited with the snapback. Are you insane?

• 3:34Speaker 01

  I think, I, and why are you looking at me like that? I think I deserve a lot of credit for the comeuppance of snapbacks.

• 3:41Speaker 02

  Comeuppance. I do like that word. You can transcribe that.

• 3:43Speaker 01

  2011, 2012.

• 3:45Speaker 02

  Did you make that up? Cause I like it.

• 3:47Speaker 01

  I didn't come up with comeuppance. Comeuppance had its comeuppance prior to me.

• 3:51Speaker 02

  Is it a word?

• 3:52Speaker 01

  I'm just continuing the comeuppance.

• 3:54Speaker 02

  I feel like I'm not getting an answer.

• 3:56Speaker 01

  Now, laborious, I fully take credit for that and I think you can attest that laborious was only made, it was brought back into the stratosphere of popularity.

• 4:05Speaker 02

  To annoy me and it worked. And it did work.

• 4:08Speaker 01

  Why does it annoy you? Why did it annoy you? I should say, cause I think at this point you've not annoyed by it.

• 4:16Speaker 02

  Hold on, before we go any further, by the way, guys, tickets are on sale right now. Go to thebasementyard.com, go get yourself some tickets, come to one of our shows. We are very excited to get out there on the road. It's gonna be a fun year. Okay, we have a lot of cool stuff planned, but yeah, go get your tickets at thebasementyard.com. If you already bought tickets also, go to thebasementyard.com/submit and submit to those prompts because, you know, that's like a little section of our show where we like to do some interaction with you guys. And usually, there's a lot of psychos out there, which is great. It's good for us.

• 4:51Speaker 01

  We, you know, we had so much fun last year and in Europe, and now we're excited because...

• 4:59Speaker 02

  We're back in the States.

• 5:00Speaker 01

  We're back, boom, back in the, not New York, but...

• 5:04Speaker 02

  What are you doing?

• 5:05Speaker 01

  Wherever the city is.

• 5:06Speaker 02

  What song are you singing?

• 5:07Speaker 01

  Back in the groove.

• 5:08Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 5:09Speaker 01

  We're back. There's so many songs we could sing. Boys are back in town.

• 5:13Speaker 02

  Right. Back in black.

• 5:15Speaker 01

  Back in, well...

• 5:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, no.

• 5:17Speaker 01

  I don't think that works.

• 5:20Speaker 02

  I just think of back.

• 5:21Speaker 01

  Motown Philly back again. We can walk out to that in Philly.

• 5:25Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 5:26Speaker 01

  You know what I'm talking about.

• 5:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:27Speaker 01

  Is that Boys to Men?

• 5:29Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 5:29Speaker 01

  Okay?

• 5:30Speaker 02

  Backstreet's back?

• 5:31Speaker 01

  Backstreet's back.

• 5:32Speaker 02

  But we're not Backstreet.

• 5:34Speaker 01

  We're basement.

• 5:34Speaker 02

  Base, the basement.

• 5:35Speaker 01

  Base Streets Back, come on!

• 5:39Speaker 02

  Doesn't hit as well.

• 5:40Speaker 01

  Can I make one suggestion? And I'm not gonna say when it might be, but if you guys come to the show, maybe, maybe if this works, you'll see it.

• 5:48Speaker 02

  This should be good.

• 5:49Speaker 01

  What if the walk-on and walk-off song is a song, a popular song, but I sing it?

• 5:56Speaker 02

  Why don't we do Ant's little outros on the Santa Gotta Studios?

• 6:05Speaker 01

  Alright, so like, give me...

• 6:06Speaker 02

  Do you still do that? Yeah, copyright.

• 6:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, he still does. Give me a really, like, a walk-off song or walk-on song that we've used that you like.

• 6:15Speaker 02

  Uh, what did we just walk on to?

• 6:17Speaker 01

  Well, TV off, which I, I don't think I'm the right person to do.

• 6:22Speaker 02

  Frank, do that.

• 6:23Speaker 01

  No, no, no.

• 6:23Speaker 02

  Do a Kendrick Lamar song, Frank.

• 6:24Speaker 01

  I don't think I'm gonna do that one.

• 6:26Speaker 02

  Um, I don't know.

• 6:27Speaker 01

  Um.

• 6:27Speaker 02

  But do you do like a rendition?

• 6:28Speaker 01

  Disco Inferno. I could do Disco Inferno.

• 6:30Speaker 02

  One, two, three.

• 6:32Speaker 01

  Let's go. Little mama, show me what you're movin'.

• 6:35Speaker 02

  Can you imagine hearing?

• 6:36Speaker 01

  Get your back in two, wit.

• 6:38Speaker 02

  Hearing that? Hearing that would be hilarious.

• 6:41Speaker 01

  How funny would it be if it's like, Ahmed is just like, you know, doing his, getting us ready?

• 6:45Speaker 02

  Or we do it for a med song, we don't tell him.

• 6:47Speaker 01

  Oh, my god. He's like, yo, uh, you know, whatever song he's been going out to. If, if like, he's, cause he walks out to like.

• 6:54Speaker 02

  I don't even know.

• 6:55Speaker 01

  You know.

• 6:56Speaker 02

  Last year was like.

• 6:56Speaker 01

  Last, he did like Not Like Us a couple times.

• 6:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:59Speaker 01

  He did a, he did a Drake song once or twice. Um, but like, imagine if like, he's like, ready to get hype, and then it's just like, ooh, ah, ooh, ah.

• 7:13Speaker 02

  A song like that?

• 7:14Speaker 01

  This would be great.

• 7:15Speaker 02

  We should get him every single show, just do a different song.

• 7:17Speaker 01

  We should do, but like, what song? Like, what would be a good song?

• 7:20Speaker 02

  Some whack ass like.

• 7:22Speaker 01

  Uh, it could be like.

• 7:23Speaker 02

  Not hype song.

• 7:24Speaker 01

  The Chicken Dance.

• 7:29Speaker 02

  That's a good one.

• 7:30Speaker 01

  Or, um, like an actual song that he would pick.

• 7:33Speaker 02

  Sarah McLachlan.

• 7:34Speaker 01

  Uh.

• 7:34Speaker 02

  The Lights Are Going Crazy.

• 7:35Speaker 01

  The Lights Are Going Crazy.

• 7:40Speaker 01

  But he'd come off and he'd get pissed off. He'd be like.

• 7:43Speaker 02

  Hundred percent.

• 7:43Speaker 01

  It's, it's tough.

• 7:44Speaker 02

  Fucked up.

• 7:46Speaker 02

  Your set starts in ten minutes.

• 7:47Speaker 01

  I needed, I needed like an actual song that he would walk off, walk onto.

• 7:50Speaker 02

  And then you would redo it?

• 7:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:52Speaker 02

  It'd be a toughie.

• 7:53Speaker 01

  I think it'd be really funny, though.

• 7:54Speaker 02

  It'd be funny. Not, not as funny as me getting a, a front row seat to the greatest interaction I've ever seen in my life. I was so proud of my dog this morning.

• 8:03Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 8:04Speaker 02

  Frank, one of the greatest.

• 8:07Speaker 01

  Charlie did good.

• 8:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:08Speaker 01

  He did good boy.

• 8:09Speaker 02

  Listen to the morning that my dog had. My dog goes outside.

• 8:12Speaker 01

  Yep. Any of this involve bodily fluids, Frank?

• 8:17Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 8:17Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 8:18Speaker 02

  Of course it does.

• 8:19Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 8:20Speaker 02

  Here's what this dog does, right? I take my dog out for a walk this morning. There's a little white dog, like, around him and they're sniffing and blah, blah, blah. They're sniffing the same tree.

• 8:30Speaker 01

  Hate little dogs.

• 8:31Speaker 02

  My dog lifts his leg. And is peeing and then the white dog gets in the stream, gets pissed on. My dog has pee that's like radioactive. It's yellow as, yellow as hell. And like, then it's a clear streak. And I was like, oh my god, I'm so sorry. And she goes, it's okay, whatever, the owner. Then he walks over, gets in a pooping position, farts like a fat man. And then diarrhea comes out, the color of a Timberland boot. It was an electric morning. It was insane, dude. Just gets down, pisses on a dog, walks over, farts, and then water fountain of shit. It was nuts. It was crazy.

• 9:18Speaker 01

  That's the whole morning.

• 9:20Speaker 02

  Dude, had, dude had a blowout. You've been there, you're a dad.

• 9:24Speaker 01

  With humans, of humans.

• 9:26Speaker 02

  That's what I'm saying.

• 9:27Speaker 01

  You've been around diarrhea. Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on.

• 9:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:30Speaker 01

  Before we started recording, Joey goes.

• 9:32Speaker 02

  Before you ask, by the way, I put the bag on my hand and I walked over and it went to the air. I was like.

• 9:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:39Speaker 02

  So it looked like I.

• 9:40Speaker 01

  So I was getting up.

• 9:41Speaker 02

  And I didn't pick anything up.

• 9:42Speaker 01

  That's a great question. What do you do if your dog like spray shits?

• 9:46Speaker 02

  That's just part of the earth now. Like, what am I gonna get? A fucking turkey baster and pick it up?

• 9:50Speaker 01

  Oh god, fuck.

• 9:52Speaker 02

  I can't do that. I just walk away.

• 9:53Speaker 01

  That's disgusting.

• 9:54Speaker 02

  I go over and I make it seem like I'm picking something up. So I'm like, oh.

• 9:57Speaker 01

  I mean, at least, yeah, at least show the effort. I mean, you know, the, the, the, the mens rea there is the idea that like, you're trying. Like, you didn't have the wrongful mind. I get it. I, I hear what you're saying.

• 10:06Speaker 02

  I didn't want anyone who's looking at me from like a balcony or something being like, this guy didn't even make it.

• 10:10Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, now you're, you know, our show is popular. People know you anytime you go out. What if someone sees like, oh my god, Joe Santagato. He didn't pick up his dog's shit.

• 10:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, I gotta get over there.

• 10:20Speaker 01

  He didn't pick up, bro, you'd be done for.

• 10:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:22Speaker 01

  Then you'd be known as Joe Santagato podcaster, male model, slash not picker-upper of shitter.

• 10:30Speaker 02

  I also complain about that a lot for other people. Like, I don't like.

• 10:33Speaker 01

  You can't, you can't be part of the problem.

• 10:35Speaker 02

  No, I can't. But, I mean, if it's.

• 10:37Speaker 01

  I'm pretty sure.

• 10:39Speaker 02

  I can't do anything about that.

• 10:40Speaker 01

  Gandhi said, be the change you want to see in the world. He was specifically.

• 10:43Speaker 02

  I thought that was Will Smith.

• 10:44Speaker 01

  Mentioning.

• 10:47Speaker 01

  People that don't pick up their dog shit.

• 10:48Speaker 02

  I mean, he probably wasn't not.

• 10:51Speaker 01

  I mean, it's a very universal, it's a blanket statement. It could mean anything. So it could be about, you know, philanthropic work. It could be about, you know, just being kind human beings, loving, passionate, compassionate, empathetic.

• 11:05Speaker 02

  And then die doodle.

• 11:06Speaker 01

  And then your dog absolutely just painting the fucking sidewalk brown.

• 11:11Speaker 02

  It was a, it was a grass patch, but he also painted that dog with radioactive yellow piss. It was crazy.

• 11:17Speaker 01

  How does, how does that owner let that dog get there? Like, was he on or off the leash? Bro, if I saw a dog pissing, my dog's going there. I'm, I'm, I'm pulling the reins.

• 11:25Speaker 02

  Well, they were both just like, like interacting and like, I take them off the leash and like, usually people around there do, cause it's like off the street. So it's like, they would have to just take off in order to get to the street. So they let dogs interact and stuff like that.

• 11:38Speaker 01

  That dog takes off, it's gone. Your dog.

• 11:40Speaker 02

  My dog? Yeah, no, he's not going anywhere though.

• 11:42Speaker 01

  He's got too much anxiety.

• 11:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:45Speaker 02

  I hear you. My sensitive stomach, I can't run too much.

• 11:47Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, I mean.

• 11:48Speaker 02

  It's, it's sensitive alright.

• 11:50Speaker 01

  I was gonna say.

• 11:50Speaker 02

  I saw that this morning.

• 11:52Speaker 01

  Here's the thing. Anytime you bring up this dog on this show.

• 11:56Speaker 02

  His, his, his, uh, stomach is a Pisces, just like me, sensitive.

• 12:02Speaker 01

  Yo.

• 12:03Speaker 02

  Thank you for laughing.

• 12:04Speaker 01

  We've said some dumb things on this show. That's by far my least favorite thing you've ever said.

• 12:10Speaker 02

  The horoscope?

• 12:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:12Speaker 02

  What's the difference between a horoscope and a zodiac?

• 12:14Speaker 01

  I think the horoscope is like the messaging that goes along with the zodiac sign.

• 12:19Speaker 02

  I thought they were different signs?

• 12:21Speaker 01

  Well, no, I think the zodiac is the sign and then the horoscope is just like, today a Pisces is gonna show their real power. And it's like, okay.

• 12:32Speaker 02

  You're gonna meet someone and you just gotta be open to receiving what you are meant to receive, because otherwise you won't.

• 12:39Speaker 01

  Look, look, if you're into it, I support you, do your thing, but just like, if, a- and I, I'm pretty sure we've brought this up before, but like, if you meet someone new and they, don't ask their sign within, if you're, listen, I'm gonna give you guys, here we go, dating advice with Frank.

• 12:56Speaker 02

  Here we go.

• 12:57Speaker 01

  Okay. Take it from me. I don't know how I secured my wife. I didn't secure her, she's not my possession. Maybe she is, I don't know.

• 13:11Speaker 01

  I don't write the law.

• 13:13Speaker 02

  Maybe she is, I have no idea.

• 13:15Speaker 01

  But, if you're, if you are into horoscopes.

• 13:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:20Speaker 01

  You don't bring it up until third date. Third date. If I'm on a, bro, if I'm on a first date with someone.

• 13:29Speaker 02

  And they want to know your horoscope?

• 13:30Speaker 01

  And they're like, immediately like, what are you? I mean like.

• 13:33Speaker 02

  Hispanic?

• 13:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, like what, there's, either way you're asking, I don't like here. But like, if they're just like, you're Leo, ugh, like whatever, there's no, like, I, I just, at, at a first impression, I think like, it's a little intense.

• 13:47Speaker 02

  Is Becky into horoscopes? I feel like she would be.

• 13:49Speaker 01

  Um, not really. I mean, like, I think, like, super passively.

• 13:54Speaker 02

  Religion.

• 13:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, no, like, if she read something and she's like, oh, that's interesting, but like, she's not gonna like, on a daily occurrence, read it.

• 14:01Speaker 02

  I'll be honest with you about this, right? When it comes to horoscopes, or whatever the fuck. I'm like, this is obviously a crock of shit, but then.

• 14:10Speaker 01

  When they fit?

• 14:11Speaker 02

  When they, when they fit to like, ooh, Pisces, they're creative. I'm like, okay, that's vague.

• 14:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:17Speaker 02

  And it's like, and they're very sensitive and I'm like, what the hell?

• 14:20Speaker 01

  What the fuck? How the fuck does it know me? And the reason I hate it is because, and I don't hate it, I don't want to say that, that's a bit strong. The reason I really, really, really dislike it.

• 14:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:33Speaker 01

  Uh, is, I remember, anytime I've met someone that's into it, and they find out I'm a Leo, it's a giant reaction from them. They're just like, oh yeah. Oh yeah. And I'm just like, take it back with the oh yes.

• 14:46Speaker 02

  Now you know, you can just hit them with that roar.

• 14:48Speaker 01

  Bro, do you?

• 14:49Speaker 02

  If someone asks you, you just roar in their face.

• 14:51Speaker 01

  Do you remember, yeah, right? Do you remember? This was like, 2015. Which is 10 years ago, isn't that crazy?

• 15:01Speaker 02

  Oh my god, that's a decade ago.

• 15:03Speaker 01

  Isn't that crazy? Isn't that bananas? Bro, 2020 was five years ago.

• 15:08Speaker 02

  That's insane.

• 15:09Speaker 01

  So, do you remember when we went out to McCann's? And I just like struck up a conversation with a girl at the bar and she was like, reading my energy. Do you remember that?

• 15:23Speaker 02

  Wait, was this like an old woman?

• 15:26Speaker 01

  No, she was a younger woman.

• 15:27Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 15:28Speaker 01

  But like, then she was like, "I'm gonna read you my poetry."

• 15:32Speaker 02

  Now I remember.

• 15:33Speaker 01

  Do you remember that? Bro, we were sitting and like, it was not like a conversation like, "Oh, let me go get this girl at the bar." That was, you know that me, that was never my like, approach.

• 15:43Speaker 02

  Right.

• 15:45Speaker 01

  But, she was like, at one point in conversation, she was like, "Um,

• 15:52Speaker 01

  do you mind?" And I'm like, "Mind what?" She's like, "Just like, do you mind just putting your hand out like this?" And I was like, "Like that?" She's like, "Yeah." I was like, "Okay." And she goes,

• 16:10Speaker 01

  I was like, "What was that?" She's like, "I'm reading your energy." And then I-

• 16:16Speaker 02

  She takes her hand away, she's like,

• 16:21Speaker 01

  And then, I was fully bought in. I was just like, "Did you feel it?" You know, just like-

• 16:28Speaker 02

  Oh, she started-

• 16:28Speaker 01

  So then I, I mean, come on.

• 16:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:30Speaker 01

  Frank Frank was back.

• 16:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, if an opportunity like that presents itself.

• 16:33Speaker 01

  And then I have, like, I'll, ah, I don't think I have it, but like, I had the conversation, like, in our group chat, I told you guys about like-

• 16:43Speaker 02

  What she said?

• 16:43Speaker 01

  What she was saying, and she was like, "Do you mind if I read you my poetry?" And she-

• 16:48Speaker 02

  This is a pretty intense first meeting.

• 16:50Speaker 01

  Bro, but like, that's what I'm saying. If you're into it, good for you. I support you, it's your thing, have it, to yourself.

• 16:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:59Speaker 01

  Wait until a couple dates to introduce it.

• 17:01Speaker 02

  Dude, do you remember, this is also funny, because this happened at bars that we would go to when we were like underage.

• 17:07Speaker 01

  McCann's, by the way, which was-

• 17:09Speaker 02

  R.I.P. It's gone.

• 17:12Speaker 01

  But also, the last place you would expect-

• 17:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:16Speaker 01

  Someone to read your energy.

• 17:17Speaker 02

  It's just a divey Irish pub.

• 17:19Speaker 01

  Where our friend fell down the stairs and cracked his skull open.

• 17:22Speaker 02

  On my birthday!

• 17:23Speaker 01

  Yeah. And that was when my grandmother died, around that time.

• 17:26Speaker 02

  Oh, good for her.

• 17:27Speaker 01

  A lot to celebrate.

• 17:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:30Speaker 01

  I'm kidding, oh god.

• 17:33Speaker 02

  To celebrate.

• 17:33Speaker 01

  So close to Mother's Day.

• 17:35Speaker 02

  I remember one time I was at Dittmar Station. And I ordered sliders. And the place is called Dittmar Station, also RIP.

• 17:44Speaker 01

  I loved that place.

• 17:46Speaker 02

  It was a pretty cool spot. Hated how the bathroom was up forty flights of stairs. What the fuck was that about? Jesus, I just wanna take a piss, I don't need to work out. It's ridiculous. But anyway, I ordered sliders and they bran the top of them with this logo that says DS. And I like was, I was eating one of them, the other one was on a plate, and this older woman walked by and just went, "Dicks suck." And I went, "What?" And she goes, "Dicks suck, DS, dicks suck." And then walked away. What was that?

• 18:16Speaker 01

  Crazy.

• 18:17Speaker 02

  And I was like, "I'm literally twenty."

• 18:20Speaker 01

  Bro, like, Astoria now is kind of known as a pretty young hip, like vibrant nightlife spot. But like, the bars back in like 2011, 2012, before it like boomed into what it is now, it was like McCann's, Dittmar Station,

• 18:37Speaker 02

  Rockies.

• 18:37Speaker 01

  And Rockies. And they were the biggest pieces of shit. I can, in hindsight, listen, I hated Rockies, because it was like where like the worst of the neighborhood went. But like, I can also fully acknowledge that Dittmar Station was that, but just slightly, it had karaoke.

• 18:56Speaker 02

  Also, this pla-

• 18:57Speaker 01

  That's the only difference.

• 18:58Speaker 02

  Karaoke. And it was, you would get characters there because you would, you would get a fucking, it's right below the train. So people before they got on the train or after the train, they would just come in there, it was like you get creatures in there.

• 19:13Speaker 01

  And they didn't card, so we were going there at like seventeen, eighteen, nineteen.

• 19:19Speaker 02

  I went on a double date there one time and I walked in-

• 19:21Speaker 01

  Yes, I did, and I'm there with my mom.

• 19:26Speaker 01

  Sitting with, and here's the funny thing, the way that the place was set up is you walk in, the bar is right here and it's skinny and it's all bench seating. And then there's like a back area, there's like a back area, but that's like toward the back of the place.

• 19:40Speaker 02

  You have to go through the whole runway.

• 19:42Speaker 01

  You have, it's literally a runway. So I'm sitting there underage with my mom.

• 19:50Speaker 02

  Alright, we'll say that. You already said it.

• 19:52Speaker 01

  I already said it.

• 19:52Speaker 02

  You were with your mom.

• 19:53Speaker 01

  No, no, I, I actually think at the time we were underage because I remember it was, we, yeah, the girl, the girl I went to high school with.

• 20:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:00Speaker 01

  Yes, okay. So I was underage. Got you, ma.

• 20:05Speaker 01

  But I remember it was like the only place to sit was directly across from where you guys were. So I saw you and these two girls and then the other person that was with you on the date and it was just so funny because I'm talking to my mom. And then across, and it was crazy. By the way, that girl also tried to fight me in sixth grade.

• 20:25Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 20:26Speaker 01

  And there was, uh, not gonna say that. It was, she was a character.

• 20:32Speaker 02

  I have a story about her that I will not say. Also, not the person that I was having a date with. Also, want to say this, never saw either of them again.

• 20:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, I wonder whatever happened to them?

• 20:41Speaker 02

  I have no idea. I really was into the girl, I don't know, I, this is the first time I ever met her.

• 20:47Speaker 01

  It was her friend.

• 20:48Speaker 02

  Her friend. The not the one, the one you went to high school with.

• 20:51Speaker 01

  I know, it was the crazy one.

• 20:52Speaker 02

  Yeah. Uh, and her friend was very quiet and like, she was cute.

• 20:55Speaker 01

  I think her, her friend was like, was her name like something with like a precious stone or something like that?

• 21:00Speaker 02

  No, it was an interesting name though. I, I remember the name.

• 21:04Speaker 01

  I think it might have been because the, the other girl, I'm sorry, this is, this is.

• 21:10Speaker 01

  I think she was Egyptian.

• 21:12Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 21:13Speaker 01

  Okay, alright, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 21:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, that was an interesting date.

• 21:17Speaker 01

  Aw, man. The good old days.

• 21:19Speaker 02

  The good old days.

• 21:20Speaker 01

  Can I ask you a serious question? And a lot of people have said this, like, I remember I said this out loud, which doesn't surprise you because you often hate what I say. When you hit 21, did it kind of make drinking less fun?

• 21:34Speaker 02

  Um, that's a wild thing to say. Um, I don't think so. I think it was fine, cuz like, I feel like you could only go to like a few places when you're underage that you're like, oh, do they card or do they have a little?

• 21:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, but like it was so much cooler.

• 21:52Speaker 02

  It was cool to be like, oh man, yeah.

• 21:53Speaker 01

  It's just like, yeah, got in, they're not asking at the door.

• 21:55Speaker 02

  But I was also afraid to order drinks.

• 21:58Speaker 01

  Never, never in a million years. My mentality was always like, walk in, act like you own the place.

• 22:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:04Speaker 01

  And it worked.

• 22:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, once you're in, you're like, alright, I'm good.

• 22:08Speaker 01

  I was like, young, going to bars.

• 22:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:12Speaker 01

  And like, the mentality that I always had was literally like the idea of like, walk in, pretend like you own the place, and then eh, you know.

• 22:24Speaker 01

  You know, be a regular.

• 22:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:26Speaker 01

  And.

• 22:26Speaker 02

  How you doing, chief?

• 22:27Speaker 01

  It's like, you're 14, get the fuck out of here, dude. In hindsight, looking back on it, I've seen pictures of me at 15, 16 years old. I thought I was the coolest person in the world cuz I was just like, they believe it.

• 22:40Speaker 02

  Were you in bars at 16?

• 22:42Speaker 01

  I can with confidence say I was.

• 22:44Speaker 02

  I don't know if I was.

• 22:45Speaker 01

  Not like, every weekend, but like, on the occasion.

• 22:49Speaker 02

  I think, I think 18 is when I started going to places.

• 22:53Speaker 01

  Well, my sis, our sisters are, are several years older than us. Your sister didn't really drink.

• 22:58Speaker 02

  No, she still doesn't.

• 22:59Speaker 01

  My sister drank enough for both of them.

• 23:01Speaker 02

  Got it.

• 23:03Speaker 02

  So you would go to places with her?

• 23:04Speaker 01

  So like, I would go to places and she would always, she would get in, and then she'd say I was her twin brother. And it was, like, I remember when she, remember she worked for the karaoke company?

• 23:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, oh yeah, that was an easy one.

• 23:16Speaker 01

  That was an easy one. Eh, we're getting off topic. Speaking of drinking, Ant brought another little trick. You know him, he's got his tricks up his sleeve.

• 23:24Speaker 02

  It's Antonio's Bag of Tricks.

• 23:27Speaker 01

  Well, he keeps them in his pockets that he wears, um, and all those.

• 23:31Speaker 02

  Just in case a truck flips over with all those dimes.

• 23:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly.

• 23:34Speaker 02

  By the way, I saw that clip, I'm reminded again where you thought you could carry 50 grand or whatever the fuck.

• 23:41Speaker 01

  Well, listen.

• 23:42Speaker 02

  No, 5 grand, sorry.

• 23:43Speaker 01

  We all have moments where we make mistakes.

• 23:46Speaker 02

  So true.

• 23:47Speaker 01

  It happens, brother.

• 23:48Speaker 02

  What's the new trick this week, Frank?

• 23:50Speaker 01

  So the trick this week, oh, I should probably put these up here first. Here, you can.

• 23:57Speaker 01

  You can have these.

• 23:59Speaker 02

  What is, we need towels?

• 24:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:00Speaker 02

  Are you spraying me with something? Cause I don't wanna be sprayed.

• 24:03Speaker 01

  So, get on your knees.

• 24:05Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 24:08Speaker 02

  What was that?

• 24:09Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 24:14Speaker 01

  It's the...

• 24:16Speaker 02

  Holy shit.

• 24:18Speaker 01

  It's the world's heaviest mug. I think, right? Is that what it is?

• 24:24Speaker 02

  World's heaviest mug, and I wanna know if you can drink from it.

• 24:27Speaker 01

  Well, here's the thing, how heavy is it?

• 24:29Speaker 02

  I think it's around twenty to twenty-two pounds.

• 24:32Speaker 01

  I think that's bullshit, this feels way, bro, I can, I've lifted...

• 24:37Speaker 01

  This is at least like thirty pounds.

• 24:40Speaker 02

  I mean, the way that you're holding it makes it look heavy.

• 24:42Speaker 01

  But also, but also like, you know when you do like kettlebell presses and stuff like that? Cause you have to hold it in a weird angle?

• 24:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:50Speaker 02

  Oh wow.

• 24:52Speaker 01

  So...

• 24:54Speaker 02

  You're gonna drink out of that?

• 24:55Speaker 01

  We are gonna drink out of it.

• 24:56Speaker 02

  We're gonna smash our teeth out.

• 24:59Speaker 01

  I think we'll be okay. Uh, we're gonna get wet.

• 25:03Speaker 02

  Why'd you say? We're gonna get wet.

• 25:06Speaker 01

  So I wanna see who can drink better out of it. Uh, can you try first?

• 25:10Speaker 02

  I mean, it's by you.

• 25:13Speaker 01

  And it might take a couple minutes to get it over there. So we're just gonna add a little beep beep of water.

• 25:17Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 25:18Speaker 01

  Fill it up, fill it up. Fill it up.

• 25:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, fill it up. I like the wet t-shirt contest shirts as well.

• 25:23Speaker 01

  I, I'm letting you know.

• 25:24Speaker 02

  God damn it.

• 25:25Speaker 01

  I'm letting you know right now.

• 25:26Speaker 02

  My nipples are coming. That was crazy.

• 25:29Speaker 01

  I'm letting you know, if it cuts, then I'm in a different shirt. We know what happened.

• 25:34Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 25:35Speaker 01

  So...

• 25:36Speaker 02

  You got it.

• 25:36Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 25:37Speaker 02

  Be careful. Don't blast your teeth out.

• 25:42Speaker 01

  Can I use?

• 25:43Speaker 02

  Do a strong lip, do a strong lip so it doesn't hurt your teeth.

• 25:45Speaker 01

  Hey, the handle, the handle, the handle. You got it. Can't use the other hand.

• 25:55Speaker 02

  Be careful of your teeth.

• 26:00Speaker 02

  Is it that heavy?

• 26:01Speaker 01

  Yo, it is heavy, brother. Let's try this hand, because this wrist-

• 26:04Speaker 02

  That's what it is.

• 26:05Speaker 01

  Almost went.

• 26:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:08Speaker 02

  Yep. Easy.

• 26:09Speaker 01

  Yep. Yep.

• 26:14Speaker 01

  All I see is him going like this.

• 26:17Speaker 01

  Go on, just a little sip. You can do it.

• 26:19Speaker 02

  By the way, if you're listening on audio, this is going exactly the way that you think it's going.

• 26:24Speaker 01

  Just get a little sip.

• 26:25Speaker 02

  Are you going two hands? Oh, he's double handing it.

• 26:27Speaker 01

  I got it double handed.

• 26:28Speaker 02

  Oh, he's got it. Now he's doing, this looks like it's not gonna work out at all. Oh, it's good. You're good.

• 26:35Speaker 02

  He's got two hands on the mug.

• 26:36Speaker 01

  No, I got it one handed.

• 26:37Speaker 02

  Yeah. You can do it?

• 26:39Speaker 01

  You got it.

• 26:40Speaker 02

  Are you giving up?

• 26:40Speaker 01

  No.

• 26:41Speaker 02

  Alright.

• 26:42Speaker 01

  The more you try, the-

• 26:43Speaker 02

  I'm gonna get wet. Here we go.

• 26:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, hype yourself up. Hype yourself up. Who's the man?

• 27:02Speaker 01

  Yo, good job! He did it! He did it!

• 27:05Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 27:05Speaker 01

  Thank you so much.

• 27:06Speaker 02

  You just had to hype yourself up and scream a lot.

• 27:08Speaker 01

  Brother.

• 27:09Speaker 02

  It's heavy.

• 27:09Speaker 01

  That's a heavy guy.

• 27:11Speaker 02

  Now I'm worried I'm not gonna be able to do this.

• 27:12Speaker 01

  Hold on, I'm gonna clean, clean the mouth off.

• 27:13Speaker 02

  You're cleaning it like a priest.

• 27:16Speaker 01

  Oh, I'm not, I probably shouldn't do that, right?

• 27:18Speaker 02

  What'd you say?

• 27:19Speaker 01

  I was gonna be a priest.

• 27:20Speaker 02

  Oh, you can be a priest.

• 27:23Speaker 01

  No, I shouldn't.

• 27:26Speaker 02

  Was I supposed to understand what you were about to do?

• 27:28Speaker 01

  I was gonna say something crazy.

• 27:30Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 27:32Speaker 01

  Too much?

• 27:32Speaker 02

  No, no, I think you should do more, honestly.

• 27:34Speaker 01

  Shut up! Here. Alright, give it a shot, because this is a heavy, this is a heavy baby.

• 27:41Speaker 02

  What the fuck?

• 27:47Speaker 02

  Holy shit.

• 27:48Speaker 01

  Yo, that is-

• 27:49Speaker 02

  I don't know if I can pick that up.

• 27:50Speaker 01

  I, I don't think, like, I think 20 pounds is not accurate, because that feels like a 35 pounder.

• 27:55Speaker 02

  There's no way this is 20 pounds. I could throw 20 pounds into-

• 27:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, I agree. 20 pounds is light work.

• 28:00Speaker 02

  Ozone.

• 28:01Speaker 01

  Can you look it up while we're doing this?

• 28:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, look up how heavy it is.

• 28:04Speaker 01

  It's 22 pounds. Get the fuck out of here! There's no way that's 22 pounds.

• 28:07Speaker 02

  It's just an awkward weight.

• 28:09Speaker 01

  Bro, I can curl 40. No, it doesn't, yeah, that doesn't mean shit. It's, I'm telling you, that's heavier than 20 pounds. 22 pounds. Look at you! Well, you have to put this down so it doesn't smash on the table, so take that.

• 28:22Speaker 02

  Okay. This is, I would've brought bibs.

• 28:29Speaker 02

  Fuck you dude.

• 28:30Speaker 01

  You got this.

• 28:31Speaker 02

  I know.

• 28:31Speaker 01

  Bro, that could kill someone.

• 28:33Speaker 02

  Yeah. Easily.

• 28:36Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 28:37Speaker 01

  Alright, go, go one hand.

• 28:39Speaker 02

  This is gonna be hard.

• 28:40Speaker 01

  Bro, I, I'm not even kidding, I could see someone breaking their wrist trying to do that.

• 28:44Speaker 02

  Let's go, motherfucker!

• 28:50Speaker 02

  Where should I put my, hmm, I'm giving up on that.

• 28:53Speaker 01

  Just go.

• 28:56Speaker 01

  Come on, baby. Hey, look at me!

• 28:57Speaker 02

  Yeah!

• 28:57Speaker 01

  Yeah!

• 28:58Speaker 02

  Yeah!

• 28:58Speaker 01

  Yeah!

• 29:07Speaker 02

  It's so hard to get it like this way.

• 29:09Speaker 01

  You have to, cuz here's the, here's the hard part, you could, you could pick it up.

• 29:12Speaker 02

  Ooh!

• 29:13Speaker 01

  You need to this.

• 29:14Speaker 02

  My wrist!

• 29:14Speaker 01

  I know, I told ya.

• 29:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, you need to tilt.

• 29:18Speaker 01

  You need, the tilt, or you gotta, you gotta crouch yourself.

• 29:24Speaker 01

  You got this. Hey, hey, hey!

• 29:35Speaker 02

  It's hard, okay, let me try again.

• 29:36Speaker 01

  You got it.

• 29:36Speaker 02

  I go left now.

• 29:38Speaker 01

  We're going left! We'll do it live! I don't think left is gonna work for you, man. A! C!

• 29:55Speaker 02

  I can't do it, dude! I'm afraid he's gonna smash my teeth in!

• 29:59Speaker 01

  Here, you could do two.

• 30:00Speaker 02

  This shit is healthy!

• 30:01Speaker 01

  You could do two.

• 30:02Speaker 02

  Healthy?

• 30:09Speaker 02

  Okay, the body of Christ, amen, he did it like a priest. Oh, easy then.

• 30:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, alright, alright, so that's not fun. How about this, how about I try to lift it with one hand and pour it in your mouth?

• 30:20Speaker 02

  Are you insane?

• 30:23Speaker 01

  Mama!

• 30:26Speaker 02

  It's not gonna happen, it's not gonna happen.

• 30:28Speaker 03

  Not for me.

• 30:29Speaker 02

  Bro, were you able to do that, Ant?

• 30:30Speaker 03

  I could sorta do it.

• 30:32Speaker 02

  Sorta do it?

• 30:33Speaker 03

  Like how you can do it.

• 30:33Speaker 01

  Yeah dude, he's got the biggest dick in the west, you can do it.

• 30:40Speaker 00

  Pink Pantheress here. Coach and Spotify are teaming up to bring music and style together, and they want you to be part of it. Grab your friends and head to the Tabby Tour, hitting cities around the country with live performances from special artists, exclusive experiences, and personalized products. And discover custom playlists on Spotify, booked just for you based on who you are and how you listen. Live your story with Coach. Learn more at coach.com.

• 31:06Speaker 02

  Aw man, well, I guess good on ya, my friend.

• 31:10Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 31:11Speaker 02

  Oh my god, it's healthy.

• 31:15Speaker 02

  Okay, get serious, alright, because there's that.

• 31:21Speaker 02

  Brand new laptop.

• 31:23Speaker 02

  We do have, eh, I'm fucking tired, dude. We have some ads.

• 31:35Speaker 02

  What is this show? I don't know. What is it? I'll tell you what, it isn't a Harry show. Well, no, I meant it is Harry's. We're not hairy, is what I meant. Oh, well. Because of Harry's razors. They're the best razors on the market, folks, okay? They're German engineered blades, made in their own factory, that stay sharp longer. Also, wanna go out on a limb and say this, not part of the ad read, some of the best packaging I've ever seen in my life. Love it, love their stuff. But they have extra, extra strength, high quality, amazing smelling deodorant for just $5. They have hair and other grooming products as well. But yeah, so you have customizable, customizable delivery options for scheduled refills as low as $2,

• 32:17Speaker 02

  half of what you would pay for other big brands, so saving some money there. And it's also nice, you get new razors, because you can't just keep using the same razor. Eventually, they just get, you know, dull, and then you start cutting yourself, you get razor burn, trust me, look at my neck. But yeah. You have a no-risk trial. If you don't like your shave, no worries, it's on them. There's a convenient subscription option, like I said, you can cancel that at any time, whenever you want. But their normal trial set is $10, but right now you can get it for just $6 at harrys.com/basement, okay? That is harrys.com/basement for that $6 trial set. So, go jump on it, folks. Harry's Razors, the best razors in the game. Alright, so, and then we also have Squarespace.

• 33:01Speaker 02

  Squarespace is where you're gonna build your website. You can go on their website and you can build a professional looking website in a day, in an afternoon. Honestly, I've done it before. So their templates are amazing, they make it very easy to make a professional looking website. Websites are very important, and you know that if you have, you know, an ecommerce business, or, you know, you make content or something like that and you need a website, this is your first impression, so it's important that you have a good looking website. So, Squarespace is gonna help you do that. They also have a lot of tools that will help you optimize all of your traffic, get everything, you know, in one place. Okay, you can build your website, and then you can have these tools to help you grow your website and your traffic, all in the same place, so, it is great. So you can hit the Squarespace.com/basement,

• 33:44Speaker 02

  use that offer code basement, and you will save 10% off of your first purchase of a website, or a domain, okay? Again, the offer code is basement, so Squarespace.com, the offer code is basement, and you will save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain, so get to it, folks. And you know what? Whatever journey you're on, whatever you're doing with your life...

• 34:05Speaker 02

  Sorry. You know why I coughed? My body is literally bursting with excitement to tell you about Patreon. Patreon.com/basementyard, folks, that's where you get more of us, more of us a little early, and you know, everyone always says, "Joe, why are you always, you know, premature?" Well, this is why. I'm sorry, that was stupid, right?

• 34:25Speaker 01

  It's fine, I get it, I get it.

• 34:26Speaker 02

  It was alright, alright, go to Patreon.com/thebasementyard. You sign up for that first tier, you get these weekly episodes, one week in advance. That second tier, you get exclusive episodes, every single Friday morning, so you could start and end your week with the Basement Yard. And those episodes on Friday, they do get a little crazy. I was just talking to Ant about doing one, and they're, they're a little nuts. And Ant was just like, "What if I just like whip my dong out?" And I said, "Don't do that, Ant." And he's like, "I'm gonna show you anyway." And I said, "Please don't." And then Joe said, "Please do." Maybe you'll find that on Patreon, you're definitely not gonna. But, thank you guys so much for getting us to finally over 34,000 paid patrons. Unbelievable, the support and love is, is something that we often talk about, and it is...

• 35:04Speaker 01

  Supporting us directly, so thank you and do yourself and us the favor. If you go to patreon.com/thebasementyard on a web browser, if you actually type in that URL and you don't use an app, you actually save yourself some money signing up that way. So, you wanna save yourself some money, you wanna give the gift, Father's Day, birthdays, Arbor Day, whatever, I don't care, whatever you want, go check it out. Patreon.com/thebasementyard. And, as Joe said at the top of the show, the live shows are back, baby. And, boy oh boy, are we excited for them. So, if you have not been able yet to secure your tickets, or you're just waiting to figure out, like, let's put a fun time together with me and some friends, go to thebasementyard.com,

• 35:48Speaker 01

  check out the live show schedule, there's tickets available in some places, some are not, you know, just go check it out, alright? And if you're coming to any of those shows, go to thebasementyard.com/submit. A portion of the shows is fan interaction and we talk with you guys, about you guys, to you guys, it's kinda crazy. So, so many links, so many URLs, I'm sorry if I'm just like spewing all this nonsense at you, but, you know, that's the way it goes. So, go check it out. Thank you, thank you, bye.

• 36:18Speaker 01

  This is why he doesn't let me do ad reads.

• 36:20Speaker 02

  What was that, dude?

• 36:22Speaker 01

  Thank you, bye. This is why he doesn't let me do ad reads, he's a little upset with how I do them.

• 36:28Speaker 02

  Let's get a moment of silence, though, for porn.

• 36:35Speaker 01

  A moment of silence for porn?

• 36:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's being, it's being, apparently, isn't it being?

• 36:41Speaker 01

  Oh, I was like...

• 36:43Speaker 02

  It's like, there's a chance that it could get banned.

• 36:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, okay, yes, I love how you said moment, moment of silences are like...

• 36:50Speaker 02

  For dead.

• 36:51Speaker 01

  For dead, like, people, like, oh, let's have a moment of silence, they do it on like, you know, like, the anniversary of D-Day, and I guess now you wanna do it on behalf of, I mean, the potential of porn getting banned?

• 37:03Speaker 02

  Not.

• 37:03Speaker 01

  I saw that.

• 37:04Speaker 02

  On the heels of D-Day.

• 37:05Speaker 01

  There are some lawmakers, there are some lawmakers that are...

• 37:12Speaker 02

  They wanna ban porn.

• 37:13Speaker 01

  Potentially trying to ban porn. You know, you know my feelings on porn.

• 37:18Speaker 02

  You love it.

• 37:21Speaker 01

  I'm just saying, like...

• 37:24Speaker 01

  Is this a bad thing? I mean, this is a weird... Like, how do you argue on behalf of this?

• 37:30Speaker 02

  Of Behorn?

• 37:31Speaker 01

  Like, who is gonna-

• 37:32Speaker 02

  What did I say? Of Behorn?

• 37:35Speaker 01

  Like, who's gonna be the person who's gonna be like, "We shouldn't ban pornography"? That's a weird thing to defend, even if you're like, pro porn.

• 37:43Speaker 02

  I think it's more of just like-

• 37:45Speaker 01

  Who's gonna be the congressperson-

• 37:49Speaker 02

  Good job.

• 37:49Speaker 01

  Like that, that's going to come forward and just be like, "Wait a second, guys."

• 37:54Speaker 02

  Take it easy.

• 37:54Speaker 01

  Being a little hard on porn.

• 37:56Speaker 02

  I think it's more about like...

• 38:00Speaker 02

  Freedom to do-

• 38:02Speaker 01

  Well-

• 38:02Speaker 02

  If you want.

• 38:03Speaker 01

  Sure, but there's, I think that the way that they are approaching it is like, they wanna protect against like, obscene material.

• 38:11Speaker 02

  What's obscene?

• 38:13Speaker 01

  I think porn is obscene.

• 38:15Speaker 02

  What is obscene? To me obscene means like...

• 38:19Speaker 02

  Like, a next level of like, whatever. Like, two people having sex is not obscene.

• 38:23Speaker 01

  No, correct. I don't think porn is just like, "Here's two people just having regular sex."

• 38:29Speaker 02

  It's two people in love.

• 38:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, no one is being like, "Oh, this is a loving couple." It'll be like, you know, like, "Oh, my stepmom is such a dirty slut today." It's like, what the hell is going on? Or like, someone walks-

• 38:46Speaker 02

  I got stuck in the dryer!

• 38:48Speaker 01

  How? It's circular, there's nothing to get caught on.

• 38:51Speaker 02

  What the hell? I didn't order 12 pizza pies by 12 different people! That's the obscene parts.

• 38:59Speaker 01

  But like, who's gonna defend that?

• 39:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't know.

• 39:02Speaker 01

  Who's the person that's gonna be like, "You know what, I'm gonna stand up for porn"?

• 39:05Speaker 02

  Well, I think that like, people who work in the industry obviously are gonna be like, "Bro, we should be able to fuck each other."

• 39:10Speaker 01

  I don't think anyone is taking that right from them.

• 39:12Speaker 02

  You know what I mean, on tape, for monies.

• 39:15Speaker 01

  Well, like, here's, I guess, how do you, like, do you draw the line then, at like, OnlyFans?

• 39:20Speaker 02

  Why don't we do this? I think a good compromise is that we just change the titles. Like, why don't we make it so like, we just write like, "Two young people really in love are having sex", and even if they're going crazy on each other-

• 39:35Speaker 01

  I don't think anyone's in love to shove their dick in a pizza pie and then open a box and show it.

• 39:39Speaker 02

  No, but you know, you don't, you don't-

• 39:44Speaker 01

  What is the show?

• 39:45Speaker 02

  Love makes you do crazy stuff. You know, like, put that, like, down there and, like, try to... You know what I mean? Maybe that softens the blow.

• 39:51Speaker 01

  So you think, so you think it's just the, the, the title that might be the obscene part, not the content?

• 39:57Speaker 02

  I think that, I honestly, I think maybe. Like, sometimes the obscene part is the title, where it's like, "Big white pole in little bedit", and you're like, "Bro, chill", like, take it easy. Like, why can't we just say, like, "A nice, a nice guy, nice girl meet, and have a good time"?

• 40:13Speaker 01

  Do me a favor. When you guys submit this to get uploaded, just let me know the moment at which it got demonetized.

• 40:18Speaker 02

  Right, yeah.

• 40:18Speaker 01

  If it was not during this conversation, I would be astonished.

• 40:21Speaker 03

  It'll give us a time shift.

• 40:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, what, like, she can't just be like, "Oh, she's a scientist, she's always a filthy, pig-tailed, like, what are you doing"?

• 40:31Speaker 01

  You think whoever's job it is to come up with the titles, they should just be like,

• 40:34Speaker 02

  Take it easy.

• 40:35Speaker 01

  Take it easy. So like, if it's, you know,

• 40:37Speaker 02

  Make them love.

• 40:38Speaker 01

  Just be like, "You know what",

• 40:39Speaker 02

  Be in love!

• 40:40Speaker 01

  "Woman had a har- hard work week",

• 40:43Speaker 02

  And wants a hard-dicking.

• 40:44Speaker 01

  Well, see, even that...

• 40:46Speaker 02

  Well, that's a compromise.

• 40:47Speaker 01

  Well, I think, no, I think you could pull it back more. Listen, also, I, I, I kind, I have to admit, like, it's a weird thing to defend, but like, just be like, go like the, the, the, the non-obscene route. Just be like, "Tough week at work, someone just needs a little R and R", you know?

• 41:07Speaker 02

  What's that?

• 41:08Speaker 01

  A, a, R and R could be like,

• 41:10Speaker 02

  What is that?

• 41:11Speaker 01

  Like Ronnie and Ryan, you know what I'm saying?

• 41:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, but what is R and R?

• 41:15Speaker 01

  I don't know what it actually stands for, but it's like rest and relaxation, is that it?

• 41:18Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 41:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, people use that term.

• 41:20Speaker 02

  Okay, yeah.

• 41:21Speaker 01

  But like, make it something like that. But then also, the context, like, the actual substance that it is, is probably the obscene part, too.

• 41:30Speaker 02

  I just think that it's probably better for, you know, if, if, like, especially with the younger men of the world who are kind of psychotic at the moment, I will say.

• 41:44Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 41:44Speaker 02

  And, uh, I don't think there needs to be more of this aggressive, like,

• 41:49Speaker 02

  "Bent over, fucking, hammer-style" type of shit. You know what I mean?

• 41:56Speaker 01

  I mean,

• 41:56Speaker 02

  Soften up the titles.

• 41:57Speaker 01

  I've said this before, and I know you, you, like, it's a joke at this point, but like, I wonder how many people, like, in the world today ha- like, their view of sex is what they've seen in porn.

• 42:12Speaker 02

  An overwhelming majority.

• 42:14Speaker 01

  So like, there might be an argument for it, because like, how many like unhealthy relationships have come out of that? Maybe also there's something to suggest that there have been healthy relationships that have come out of it.

• 42:23Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 42:24Speaker 01

  But, I, I think the funniest part of this is that someone's gonna have to go up there and defend it.

• 42:29Speaker 02

  I don't think that they're defending porn as, as like, I love porn, chill out. Like, I don't think it's like that. I think it's more of like, if, how can you stop people from wanting to have sex on camera for money if people are willing to pay for it? It's more of like a freedoms thing, as much as, I, I think it's more of that than it is like,

• 42:50Speaker 02

  I need Jack Everporn!

• 42:52Speaker 01

  Well, there's a, there is a duty to protect what media can and can't be out there. So that's the approach they're taking, is that like, if it's absurd, obscene material, we, we cannot allow it to be, you know, peddled to the masses.

• 43:08Speaker 02

  I think that we should probably just start, if we're gonna, if we're gonna get to a compromise, we should start dialing things back. So I don't think that anyone needs to be stretching open anything, you know what I mean?

• 43:21Speaker 01

  Like, what if they just started adding in like,

• 43:23Speaker 02

  No more stretching!

• 43:24Speaker 01

  Like, they take out like, certain, like, audio tracks and put in like, sound effects, you know?

• 43:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:32Speaker 01

  Bo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo.

• 43:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, something like that.

• 43:34Speaker 01

  Ah-gha!

• 43:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, what happened to that? What happened when the tongue would fall out of the mouth?

• 43:38Speaker 01

  And the eyes would pop out, and it would be like a wolf?

• 43:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, but we don't need any of the stretching, and the like.

• 43:44Speaker 01

  You're sticking on the stretching.

• 43:46Speaker 02

  Because that's obscene to me.

• 43:47Speaker 01

  I, I mean, all of it is, yeah, I get, I get that.

• 43:50Speaker 02

  But no, that specifically is like, no, no two girls, one cup. Like, you can't have that.

• 43:56Speaker 01

  Do you even consider what that was to be pornographic?

• 44:00Speaker 02

  There was two naked women.

• 44:01Speaker 01

  I feel like that was just nightmare-ish.

• 44:05Speaker 02

  I heard that was like a movie, and like, it was a scene in a movie.

• 44:10Speaker 01

  I don't, I don't.

• 44:12Speaker 03

  Oscar winner.

• 44:14Speaker 02

  And the academy goes to.

• 44:15Speaker 01

  And the academy goes to.

• 44:17Speaker 02

  Two goes one cup.

• 44:18Speaker 01

  Uh, I was. So.

• 44:21Speaker 02

  I got it.

• 44:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know what I was.

• 44:23Speaker 02

  But yeah, they're gonna, they're gonna ban the, the Pern. Which is fine.

• 44:27Speaker 01

  Where do you draw the line? Because the new Grand Theft Auto game is coming out next year. And like.

• 44:33Speaker 02

  I'm sure you could do stuff in that, yeah. Can you do stuff in the last one?

• 44:39Speaker 01

  Grand Theft Auto, I mean, you could like.

• 44:41Speaker 02

  I've like went to a strip club and I beat up the owner and took some cash, I think in the last one, but I don't know if you could like.

• 44:47Speaker 03

  You could pick someone up on the side of the road.

• 44:49Speaker 02

  And what, the car just like rocks?

• 44:49Speaker 03

  And the car kinda shakes.

• 44:51Speaker 02

  And then you lose 50 bucks?

• 44:52Speaker 01

  And you lose 50 bucks and then they walk out of the car, they're like, "Thanks daddy!", you know?

• 44:56Speaker 02

  And then you shoot them and then you take it back, yeah. Everyone did that.

• 44:59Speaker 01

  Yeah. This is crazy.

• 45:00Speaker 02

  Everyone did that. I've also.

• 45:05Speaker 01

  What a wild game, dude. It's such a crazy game, my mom bought it for me.

• 45:10Speaker 02

  That is crazy. But she did, she was like, "I didn't know", I was like, "The name of the game is crime."

• 45:15Speaker 01

  You ever like, think of like how naive your mom was and just be like, "It was kinda cute"?

• 45:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, the game is named after a felony.

• 45:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, but that's only one part of it, like.

• 45:23Speaker 02

  And there's a guy with a, a dog and a gun.

• 45:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, but that's not like.

• 45:28Speaker 02

  She probably didn't know I was gonna be.

• 45:29Speaker 01

  You didn't know, like, yeah, you can run around and shoot and stuff, but also like, they didn't know that you can go and like, you know. Get back alley hand jobs and shit like that.

• 45:37Speaker 02

  I never did any of that. I, I would just do like weapons cheats and I would fight the police and I would like drive through crowds of people.

• 45:44Speaker 01

  What I would, okay.

• 45:45Speaker 02

  I would do that too.

• 45:46Speaker 01

  And this is when I played Grand Theft Auto V, which was the one that came out.

• 45:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:50Speaker 01

  What, 12 years ago at this point, almost 13 by the time the next one comes out? I would, my, my thing was I would drive through the airport to try to steal. A plane and see if I can get away, cause when you drive into the airport, instantly the most amount of stars, like, the police are after you.

• 46:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:08Speaker 01

  So like that, I always felt like, how long could I, you know?

• 46:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's usually how I played that game too, would just do shit like that.

• 46:13Speaker 01

  Have you seen the trailer for the new one?

• 46:15Speaker 02

  I, yeah. I have.

• 46:18Speaker 01

  The internet's quite a buzz for it. Because the main, for the first time ever, one of the main characters is a woman.

• 46:25Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 46:26Speaker 01

  And it's in Miami.

• 46:27Speaker 02

  Right.

• 46:28Speaker 01

  So like, people are like, could you go and get like a BBL for this thing? You know?

• 46:32Speaker 02

  Doctor Miami's in the game?

• 46:34Speaker 01

  But like, bro, in Grand Theft Auto V, like, you could do some, like, you could put them in, like, underwear and run it around and shit like that.

• 46:41Speaker 02

  Really?

• 46:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:43Speaker 02

  I forget how that game went.

• 46:44Speaker 01

  It was three guys, though, that's what I'm saying. Like, you can run around in underwear as three guys. Like, you think the pervs are gonna be out in full force for this?

• 46:52Speaker 02

  Frankie.

• 46:53Speaker 01

  You think so?

• 46:53Speaker 02

  Obviously, they're going to be out.

• 46:56Speaker 01

  They're gonna be in full, like...

• 46:59Speaker 02

  When does this game come out?

• 47:00Speaker 01

  Next May, May 2026.

• 47:02Speaker 02

  I mean, if they ban porn...

• 47:05Speaker 01

  So there's a good question, it's like,

• 47:06Speaker 02

  That's what's going on.

• 47:07Speaker 01

  You remember the whole thing with Grand Theft Auto San Andreas, the whole coffee, cup of coffee thing?

• 47:12Speaker 02

  No.

• 47:12Speaker 01

  You don't remember that? Hillary Clinton was, like, big on that. It was a, a, a, I think it was a, a mission in the game that, like, you could only get to with a cheat code? And it was like, you go on a date and then you go home, and you fuck.

• 47:28Speaker 02

  What?

• 47:28Speaker 01

  I don't think you can, like, I don't think you can, like, control during the sex, but like, it'll be like a-

• 47:33Speaker 02

  There's a scene?

• 47:34Speaker 01

  There's a scene where it'll be like, outside. You, you know what I'm talking about.

• 47:37Speaker 02

  I don't, there was a joke going around, like, we convinced my friend that you had to go on a hundred bowling dates with your girlfriend to, to have sex with her? That's, that's-

• 47:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, like, you couldn't-

• 47:48Speaker 02

  That's not true.

• 47:49Speaker 01

  But I remember in, like, Grand Theft Auto San Andreas, it was like a big, it was a big thing. People were using that to, like, ban video games.

• 47:57Speaker 02

  That there was like a sex scene in it.

• 47:59Speaker 01

  Can you look it up while we're talking?

• 48:00Speaker 02

  That's so weird, though. Like, why even put that in there?

• 48:03Speaker 01

  I kind of agree. Like, it's weird, like, at what level is it, like, bro, in Red Dead Redemption 2, you can go, like, hunting and fishing, which, like, there are video games specifically for that. Do you?

• 48:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:16Speaker 01

  You could play darts and poker.

• 48:20Speaker 01

  Like why do I, why am I gonna play a video game to play darts and poker and fish?

• 48:25Speaker 02

  So I, I agree with you, but then there's something in my mind. I remember I would watch, this was a while ago when I would stream on Twitch. So I would watch some people playing and there's a game where it's just power washing? And like shit is dirty and you're just power washing it. And I was like, alright, I could like, like-

• 48:45Speaker 01

  But those are different games. I'm saying like that doesn't need to be in Grand Theft Auto.

• 48:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:49Speaker 01

  Like in Grand Theft Auto, I shouldn't be able to open a fucking like-

• 48:53Speaker 02

  You shoot an innocent person in the head and then you power wash them?

• 48:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, like a lawn mowing business. I did play that game. That game was incredible.

• 49:00Speaker 02

  What's that?

• 49:00Speaker 01

  It was like lawn mowing simulator or something like that.

• 49:03Speaker 02

  It was on your phone?

• 49:04Speaker 01

  No, it was on Xbox. If you have Game Pass and you have Xbox-

• 49:07Speaker 02

  You played a lawn mowing?

• 49:09Speaker 01

  Bro, you open, you start off, you like open your own like-

• 49:14Speaker 02

  Lawn mowing?

• 49:14Speaker 01

  Landscaping company and like you need to do a certain amount of lawns well to like get better equipment.

• 49:20Speaker 02

  Hell yeah.

• 49:20Speaker 01

  And like hire people and shit like that. I was in it.

• 49:23Speaker 02

  Did you have an empire?

• 49:24Speaker 01

  No, I only played like two or three times and then I deleted it. It was free.

• 49:27Speaker 02

  Right.

• 49:28Speaker 01

  Um, but like, that should be its own game. Like don't put that, you don't need to put that in Grand Theft Auto.

• 49:34Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 49:34Speaker 01

  But like people, I'm telling you, the perv, I'm calling it now.

• 49:38Speaker 02

  Pervs are out.

• 49:38Speaker 01

  The pervs are coming out for Grand Theft Auto 6.

• 49:40Speaker 02

  I mean, the pervs are always out.

• 49:42Speaker 03

  Um, it was in the game, but they scrapped it. So it was backdoored and then a hacker essentially released it. But it was a hot coffee minigame. You were right.

• 49:51Speaker 01

  I told you. I told you.

• 49:52Speaker 02

  That's what the mission was called, like hot coffee?

• 49:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:54Speaker 01

  And it was basically that like you-

• 49:56Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 49:56Speaker 01

  CJ meets a girl and like they go home and have sex. But I don't think it was like you can like, you know, like-

• 50:03Speaker 02

  Press A to thrust.

• 50:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, like Parappa the Rappa, like on beat, press circle, circle, circle, circle.

• 50:09Speaker 02

  Kick, punch, block.

• 50:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:13Speaker 02

  I used to fuck with that game.

• 50:15Speaker 01

  That game was pretty sick.

• 50:16Speaker 02

  Parappa the Rappa, oh my god dude, that just brought back some.

• 50:20Speaker 01

  Listen, you know how I feel about video games.

• 50:21Speaker 02

  Do you remember the game that I had? I loved this game. It was called Fighting Force?

• 50:27Speaker 01

  No, I remember you playing and loving the hell out of Jersey Devil.

• 50:31Speaker 02

  You know what's funny? I did love that game and then one day, I don't know why I did this. I started looking up gameplay from all those old Playstation games like. I was about to say Johnny Bravo, but that's not what I meant. Blasto. Blasto, that, Jersey Devil, both of them are trash.

• 50:47Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, with today's, with today's eyes, sure. Bro, I loved Blasto.

• 50:52Speaker 02

  I loved Blasto.

• 50:53Speaker 01

  That was Phil Hartman.

• 50:55Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 50:56Speaker 01

  He did the voice of Blasto. There was all those games like.

• 50:59Speaker 02

  Medieval.

• 50:59Speaker 01

  Mid, bro, they made a remake.

• 51:02Speaker 02

  Was it good?

• 51:02Speaker 01

  On the Playstation. People were like, yo, this is incredible. But like, um, remember Gex, the Gecko?

• 51:09Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 51:09Speaker 01

  Krok.

• 51:11Speaker 02

  Now you got me.

• 51:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, that shit was.

• 51:13Speaker 02

  Now you got me. Now I gotta, I, I just wanna look up old Playstation one games. Playstation games from the early 2000s?

• 51:21Speaker 01

  Late 90s was probably, cuz Playstation one was from 1995, I wanna say.

• 51:26Speaker 02

  Also Metal Gear Solid, let's not even go there.

• 51:29Speaker 01

  Siphon Filter, Joey was on it.

• 51:31Speaker 02

  Siphon Filter, bro, you get a taser, you start tazing people until they like, set on fire.

• 51:35Speaker 01

  We've, we're noticing a trend here, Joey. We're noticing a trend with you.

• 51:39Speaker 02

  I'm just saying, that's a weird thing to put in the game.

• 51:41Speaker 01

  Cool Borders.

• 51:43Speaker 02

  Here we go. Cool Borders, wow.

• 51:45Speaker 01

  Bro, you know what game I went so fucking hard on, dude? You remember SSX Tricky? The snowboarding game?

• 51:51Speaker 02

  I never had that.

• 51:53Speaker 01

  Dude, that game was so fucking good. And then you could fucking like, do the worm on your board and shit like that. And then like, you know, do like a fucking triple backflip in Garibaldi. Good times.

• 52:09Speaker 02

  All the Crash Bandicoots.

• 52:10Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, those are, I mean, the first, I should say the first three. After, after Warped, they got like, bad.

• 52:17Speaker 02

  Did you ever fuck with, uh, Final Fantasy?

• 52:20Speaker 01

  No, dude.

• 52:21Speaker 02

  I played one.

• 52:22Speaker 01

  People love Final Fantasy, and like, cool, but like.

• 52:25Speaker 02

  I played one because I got it in a cereal box. Bro, cereal? What's good with you? There used to be like legit shit in boxes.

• 52:34Speaker 01

  You mean back when companies were more willing to be open to collaboration with their intellectual property?

• 52:39Speaker 02

  That's what I'm saying.

• 52:40Speaker 01

  Bro, cereal boxes, I used to open up and there used to be five fucking cool like lightsaber spoons in there. Now what's in there? Cholesterol? Fuck you, cereal.

• 52:50Speaker 02

  MLB... What's the one where you can like, someone hits a double, then you go to second base and you beat the shit out of them and then they're out?

• 52:57Speaker 01

  Uh, Slugfest?

• 52:58Speaker 02

  That's it.

• 52:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:00Speaker 02

  Yeah. Where you just fight people?

• 53:02Speaker 01

  I love when video games like didn't take themselves too seriously. Now, it's like a video game comes out and it's like, "Art." And like, "We're gonna tackle conversations about mental health." Which, cool, love that. Honestly, I do. Being able to do that in a medium like video games where a lot of people feel comfortable to express themselves and live in that little world? Love that. But also, give me a game where I can run as fucking Jeremy Shockey down the field, stiff-arm someone's face, and then they hit a brick wall and go through it.

• 53:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, touchdown. You know what I mean?

• 53:31Speaker 01

  Sport games. Madden, sports simulators. I don't want this shit. "Oh, you need to work hard to sign your rookie contract." Fuck you.

• 53:41Speaker 02

  Put me in the NFL, dude.

• 53:42Speaker 01

  Put me in the NFL.

• 53:43Speaker 02

  Now the NFL games are like, "You wanna play in college? What do you think I'm here for?"

• 53:48Speaker 01

  If I wanted to, I'd get the college game.

• 53:50Speaker 02

  You want me to earn it? I bought the game, put me in the league.

• 53:53Speaker 01

  Bro, and also, you remember that game that came out, it was called Blitz the League? And it had like Bill Romanowski and Michael Irving on the cover?

• 54:01Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 54:01Speaker 01

  And it was like, "Oh no, your guy broke his leg, you're out six to eight weeks, or take steroids, and you're back in the game next play."

• 54:09Speaker 02

  I was like, "Steroid, steroid, steroid."

• 54:11Speaker 01

  I understand that we wanna promote people remaining healthy and responsible and not promote drug use, but like, six to eight weeks, that's too long. If I'm trying to become a star...

• 54:26Speaker 01

  In the FLN, the Football League Nation, I should, because they can't legally use the NFL.

• 54:33Speaker 02

  Got it.

• 54:34Speaker 01

  Like-

• 54:34Speaker 02

  You just did, we're done.

• 54:36Speaker 01

  Well, no, no, no, no, no, no.

• 54:37Speaker 02

  I get it.

• 54:37Speaker 01

  The game.

• 54:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 54:39Speaker 01

  But like, now video games are just like, that's why I love, you've never played it and you never will, Doom.

• 54:45Speaker 02

  I played Doom.

• 54:46Speaker 01

  You played Doom 64.

• 54:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:49Speaker 01

  Doom Eternal and then Doom, The Dark Ages, I haven't played Dark Ages yet, but like, bro, it's just like, you're put in a room with a thousand demons and you have a chainsaw fist and a shotgun with a chain. And it's just like, yeah! Or you go play this game where you're Tiger Woods and you need to pick the right fucking iron. Fuck you, Tiger Woods.

• 55:13Speaker 02

  Sorry. I love Tiger Woods.

• 55:14Speaker 01

  I have no issue with him. He did some stuff that was a little questionable at points, but like-

• 55:19Speaker 02

  Cheated on his wife.

• 55:20Speaker 01

  Cheated his wife.

• 55:22Speaker 02

  With a thousand people.

• 55:23Speaker 01

  Yeah. He numbered them, didn't he?

• 55:26Speaker 02

  What?

• 55:27Speaker 01

  Wasn't there like-

• 55:28Speaker 02

  That's a detail that I don't know.

• 55:32Speaker 01

  Maybe I'm wrong.

• 55:33Speaker 02

  Happens.

• 55:34Speaker 01

  Could be wrong.

• 55:35Speaker 02

  Things happen, people are wrong.

• 55:36Speaker 01

  But wasn't it like, they were listening to his phone, it's like-

• 55:38Speaker 02

  One?

• 55:38Speaker 01

  Number fourteen, number twelve.

• 55:41Speaker 02

  That's insane if that's true. Also, you could just, it could have been, you got a golf joke right there.

• 55:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, par twelve.

• 55:49Speaker 02

  Hole three.

• 55:50Speaker 01

  Oh, there it is, yeah. Also, par twelve? You shooting on the moon?

• 55:56Speaker 02

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• 58:42Speaker 01

  One last thing I want to bring up to you.

• 58:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:44Speaker 01

  We've been all over and good luck naming this episode.

• 58:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:49Speaker 01

  KFC's back. They didn't go anywhere.

• 58:52Speaker 02

  They didn't.

• 58:52Speaker 01

  They didn't go anywhere.

• 58:53Speaker 02

  Aren't they not, they're just KFC, right?

• 58:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't think they can call them-

• 58:56Speaker 02

  They changed their name?

• 58:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, there was like that whole thing that came out.

• 58:59Speaker 02

  It's like it's not Kentucky Fried Chicken.

• 59:01Speaker 01

  Well, something, something came out. I don't wanna, I don't wanna say it. Cause I don't know it.

• 59:05Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 59:08Speaker 02

  Some, something came out and I'm not aware of it.

• 59:11Speaker 01

  Uh, but, we talked recently that they were doing the fried chicken toothpaste.

• 59:17Speaker 02

  Oh, we never ordered any of that.

• 59:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, and do me a favor, on the company card, order every flavor of toothpaste on that website.

• 59:24Speaker 02

  Tiramisu toothpaste.

• 59:25Speaker 01

  Tiramisu, we're gonna try it for a Patreon episode.

• 59:27Speaker 02

  Honestly, if that's good.

• 59:28Speaker 01

  I mean, maybe hit them up and see if they'll send them, so we don't have to pay.

• 59:32Speaker 02

  Remember we thought the name of that place was like Hism- Hismile or something? It's I Smile.

• 59:37Speaker 01

  I Smile, yeah.

• 59:40Speaker 02

  What is KFC, they're back?

• 59:41Speaker 01

  They're back. So KFC decided that not only was fried chicken toothpaste where they wanna-

• 59:47Speaker 02

  It's disgusting.

• 59:47Speaker 01

  You know, I guess, support marketing, or a brand, or whatever, they now have an ice cream flavor.

• 59:55Speaker 02

  Fried chicken?

• 59:56Speaker 01

  Nope. So they're releasing an exclusive ice, ice cream flavor in the UK. They're gonna, "Davy."

• 1:00:01Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:00:02Speaker 01

  And you're gonna, "Fucking Davy."

• 1:00:06Speaker 02

  Alright.

• 1:00:07Speaker 01

  Uh, but it's not fried chicken flavor. Ant, any guesses? When's the last time you went to a KFC?

• 1:00:12Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:00:13Speaker 01

  I don't hate KFC.

• 1:00:14Speaker 02

  Years. I like KFC.

• 1:00:15Speaker 01

  I like KFC, I like Popeyes, I like Popeyes a little more.

• 1:00:17Speaker 02

  Oh my god, I love Popeyes.

• 1:00:19Speaker 01

  I'm like, I love Popeyes.

• 1:00:20Speaker 02

  I haven't been to either in a very, like, over a year.

• 1:00:23Speaker 01

  Oh, that was, that's recent. I thought you were gonna say like, eight years.

• 1:00:28Speaker 02

  Um, I probably went like three years ago.

• 1:00:30Speaker 01

  Can we do an episode where we just bring in-

• 1:00:32Speaker 02

  Popeyes?

• 1:00:33Speaker 01

  If we just bring in Fast Food for Joey, and he eats it at the very beginning, and we see what happens to his stomach as the episode goes on.

• 1:00:39Speaker 02

  This just keeps growing.

• 1:00:42Speaker 01

  Because, chances, chances would be that you would end up pissing your butt at some point during that episode.

• 1:00:50Speaker 02

  Just like my dog. That's full circle, folks.

• 1:00:51Speaker 01

  That's right. Call back, what do you think the flavor is? Not fried chicken.

• 1:00:56Speaker 02

  It's not fried chicken.

• 1:00:57Speaker 03

  What's it mashed potatoes? It kinda, it already looks like ice cream.

• 1:01:00Speaker 01

  That would be kinda good.

• 1:01:02Speaker 02

  Mac and cheese.

• 1:01:03Speaker 01

  No, hold on, like a mashed potatoes, but it's like a creamy garl- I mean a, a ice cream, but it's a creamy garlic?

• 1:01:10Speaker 02

  It sounds disgusting.

• 1:01:12Speaker 01

  Why? It sounds good, just savory ice cream, not sweet ice cream.

• 1:01:15Speaker 02

  Garlic ice cream?

• 1:01:16Speaker 01

  I kinda wouldn't hate that.

• 1:01:17Speaker 02

  You ever take vanilla ice cream and then put a olive oil on it? It's good.

• 1:01:22Speaker 01

  I think we did that somewhere, like one of the desserts we had at a restaurant.

• 1:01:26Speaker 02

  Maybe it's.

• 1:01:26Speaker 01

  Might have had that.

• 1:01:27Speaker 02

  It's good though.

• 1:01:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't, I don't hate it.

• 1:01:29Speaker 02

  Wait, so what the fuck is this thing? Is it like corn?

• 1:01:31Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no.

• 1:01:33Speaker 03

  Popcorn chicken.

• 1:01:34Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:01:34Speaker 03

  Love the popcorn chicken.

• 1:01:35Speaker 02

  It would definitely be chicken.

• 1:01:36Speaker 01

  The flavor that they're releasing, the exclusive flavor they're releasing.

• 1:01:39Speaker 02

  Is it, is it a menu, is it a menu item?

• 1:01:41Speaker 01

  It's with their food, yeah.

• 1:01:42Speaker 02

  So it's like one of those things?

• 1:01:44Speaker 01

  It's something that is like synonymous with like fast food chicken.

• 1:01:47Speaker 02

  Loaded wedges.

• 1:01:50Speaker 01

  Not where I thought you were going, no, no, no.

• 1:01:52Speaker 02

  Give me a letter.

• 1:01:53Speaker 01

  It'll give it away.

• 1:01:54Speaker 02

  Give it, give it, go.

• 1:01:55Speaker 01

  G.

• 1:01:59Speaker 02

  Green beans.

• 1:02:00Speaker 01

  Unbelievable that you can't get this.

• 1:02:03Speaker 02

  KFC?

• 1:02:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:06Speaker 02

  Gr- oh, green, green?

• 1:02:08Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:02:09Speaker 02

  Ger, ger, ger, ger, ger, gerd?

• 1:02:15Speaker 02

  Gers? Gravy, gravy?

• 1:02:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:19Speaker 03

  Oh, I'm a fucking idiot.

• 1:02:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, we know.

• 1:02:21Speaker 03

  I'm a fucking idiot.

• 1:02:22Speaker 01

  We know.

• 1:02:23Speaker 02

  Gravy flavored.

• 1:02:24Speaker 01

  Gravy flavored ice cream.

• 1:02:25Speaker 02

  That's probably fire. I love gravy.

• 1:02:28Speaker 03

  Is it?

• 1:02:28Speaker 02

  It's better than fucking mashed potato flavored.

• 1:02:31Speaker 01

  I mean.

• 1:02:32Speaker 02

  Well, actually them together would be very good.

• 1:02:33Speaker 01

  I was gonna say. You would eat gravy flavored ice cream?

• 1:02:37Speaker 02

  I don't think so, now that I think about it.

• 1:02:38Speaker 01

  Oh, remember when people would be like, they'd call like semen man gravy?

• 1:02:47Speaker 01

  Disgusting.

• 1:02:48Speaker 02

  Did your mind go there?

• 1:02:50Speaker 01

  Because you said I love gravy.

• 1:02:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:02:52Speaker 01

  Um.

• 1:02:53Speaker 03

  Baby batter. It's a better one.

• 1:02:54Speaker 01

  That's way worse dude.

• 1:02:56Speaker 03

  Really?

• 1:02:56Speaker 02

  We knew a kid named Batter back in the day. Remember him?

• 1:02:59Speaker 01

  Holy shit.

• 1:03:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:03Speaker 01

  We also knew a kid named Seven.

• 1:03:05Speaker 02

  Who?

• 1:03:06Speaker 01

  We knew a kid named Seven.

• 1:03:07Speaker 02

  Oh, someone's like little brother.

• 1:03:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:09Speaker 03

  Their actual name?

• 1:03:10Speaker 01

  Was Seven.

• 1:03:12Speaker 02

  But there was Batter. Someone beat the shit out of him. I forget.

• 1:03:15Speaker 01

  One of, one of, someone we know. One of our friends. It wasn't me or you. We were pacifists. Man, we, we chose love and beating up people only in video games.

• 1:03:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was too small for that.

• 1:03:24Speaker 01

  Yeah. There was no way. I was, I was whooping ass at Def Jam Fight for New York.

• 1:03:28Speaker 02

  Tell you that?

• 1:03:28Speaker 01

  But in real.

• 1:03:29Speaker 03

  50 Cent was laying smackdowns.

• 1:03:31Speaker 01

  Redman was kicking people in the nuts. But in real life.

• 1:03:35Speaker 02

  Uh, gravy flavored.

• 1:03:37Speaker 01

  Would you actually, like, how, like, here's my question. How do you even eat that? Like, you'd have to eat it by itself. What are you gonna put sprinkles on it?

• 1:03:46Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:03:47Speaker 01

  What are you gonna put, chocolate?

• 1:03:48Speaker 02

  Ah, ew. Sprinkles? I love sprinkles.

• 1:03:52Speaker 01

  I love the little nonpareilis. Is that what they're called?

• 1:03:55Speaker 02

  What's that?

• 1:03:56Speaker 01

  The little circle ones that are crunchy?

• 1:03:59Speaker 02

  Oh, the chocolate ones?

• 1:04:01Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:04:02Speaker 03

  The tiny little?

• 1:04:03Speaker 01

  The tiny little balls.

• 1:04:04Speaker 02

  Oh, like on, on snowcaps, basically?

• 1:04:06Speaker 01

  Yes. Yes.

• 1:04:07Speaker 02

  I hate them.

• 1:04:08Speaker 01

  Why? They're crunchy.

• 1:04:09Speaker 02

  Because they get in my teeth.

• 1:04:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, and then you're an adult and get them out.

• 1:04:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I don't like them. I don't like them.

• 1:04:16Speaker 01

  You like the long, waxy ones?

• 1:04:18Speaker 02

  What's that?

• 1:04:19Speaker 01

  Like the, the, the, the, like oval shaped?

• 1:04:21Speaker 02

  Oh, oh, yeah, like rainbow sprinkles, bro.

• 1:04:23Speaker 01

  Nah, those are, those are subpar.

• 1:04:25Speaker 02

  Yo, can I say something too? Chocolate sprinkles are like way worse than rainbow sprinkles. Like, rainbow sprinkles are way better.

• 1:04:32Speaker 01

  Rainbow sprink- well, chocolate sprinkles, you get sprinkles sugar neat.

• 1:04:40Speaker 02

  Sugarny.

• 1:04:41Speaker 01

  You get sugary, sprinkle sugary, and you get chocolate flavor. With rainbow sprinkles, you just get, it's just additional sugar. There's no rainbow flavor.

• 1:04:50Speaker 02

  It's fun, there's colors.

• 1:04:51Speaker 01

  It is fun, it is fun. Chocolate, ch- cookie crunchies though. The crunchies? Not cookies, the ones that are in the Carvel cake? You know what I'm talking about, that they layer the Carvel cake with?

• 1:05:02Speaker 02

  Those are the best.

• 1:05:03Speaker 01

  Oh my!

• 1:05:04Speaker 02

  Yo, why don't we put that shit on top too, bro?

• 1:05:06Speaker 01

  We put it everywhere.

• 1:05:07Speaker 02

  That's what I'm saying.

• 1:05:08Speaker 01

  There's a, there's, there's, there's, um, ice cream places by me, that has those as a topping.

• 1:05:13Speaker 02

  Dirt? Don't they call it dirt?

• 1:05:16Speaker 01

  No, that's like a whole separate...

• 1:05:18Speaker 02

  Oh shit.

• 1:05:18Speaker 01

  Like, thing.

• 1:05:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, tho- dirt's good though.

• 1:05:21Speaker 01

  Dirt, well, like, the dessert?

• 1:05:23Speaker 02

  Dessert.

• 1:05:24Speaker 01

  The cup of dirt?

• 1:05:25Speaker 02

  Dirt's pretty cool too, but I'm not gonna eat it.

• 1:05:26Speaker 01

  Uh, I'll be honest with you, dirt smells good, I would not eat it.

• 1:05:30Speaker 02

  Soil I would eat.

• 1:05:32Speaker 01

  What's the difference?

• 1:05:33Speaker 02

  That's a great question too.

• 1:05:35Speaker 01

  What are those little white balls that are in soil dude? I love those, can you get them and you crunch them with your fingers?

• 1:05:41Speaker 02

  I know I'm not supposed to eat soil, but you got these little white things in there that look like marshmallows.

• 1:05:46Speaker 01

  Like, why do they make the things that will kill you if you eat them look so delicious?

• 1:05:50Speaker 02

  I don't think it'll kill you, I think it's like they, they hold water.

• 1:05:52Speaker 01

  Bro, eat enough soil.

• 1:05:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't eat, don't eat the whole earth.

• 1:05:56Speaker 01

  You're dead dude.

• 1:05:56Speaker 02

  Yeah dude, you can have a handful though.

• 1:05:58Speaker 01

  Bro, eat a cup of soil, you're a goner.

• 1:06:00Speaker 02

  Nooo.

• 1:06:01Speaker 01

  Yes!

• 1:06:02Speaker 02

  I could put down a cup of soil.

• 1:06:04Speaker 01

  You're gonna be in a world of trouble.

• 1:06:07Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:06:07Speaker 01

  Let's, let's have this, let's have an eating episode where Joey...

• 1:06:09Speaker 02

  What's wrong with soil?

• 1:06:11Speaker 01

  I just think that like, it's like compost, which is like molded, not good, biodegraded food.

• 1:06:16Speaker 02

  Is it?

• 1:06:17Speaker 01

  And like, I think there's shit in there too, manure.

• 1:06:19Speaker 02

  I can't eat soil, I can't eat soil?

• 1:06:21Speaker 01

  I think you would...

• 1:06:22Speaker 02

  I've gotten soil in my mouth, for sure.

• 1:06:24Speaker 01

  I'm good, yeah, you sure, you've gotten small amounts, but if you had a cup?

• 1:06:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:28Speaker 01

  Of soil?

• 1:06:28Speaker 02

  I could eat that. I'm not dying.

• 1:06:30Speaker 01

  Joey, you could eat it, you would be in pain.

• 1:06:34Speaker 02

  I don't think so. As long as there's no like, big sticks in it.

• 1:06:38Speaker 01

  If... Ooh, what if we mix it with ice cream? Soil ice cream.

• 1:06:43Speaker 02

  I mean... Kinda would, I would eat that.

• 1:06:48Speaker 01

  I guess. I love soil dude.

• 1:06:51Speaker 02

  What's your, what's your like ultimate ice cream? Order?

• 1:06:57Speaker 01

  You're gonna make fun of me. Traditionally, I've said this.

• 1:07:00Speaker 02

  I know, you said it's Breyer's.

• 1:07:01Speaker 01

  You know what?

• 1:07:03Speaker 02

  Do you have no to? You have no toppings though?

• 1:07:06Speaker 01

  I've experimented a little bit.

• 1:07:07Speaker 02

  Like if you had to get your dream ice cream, it's no toppings?

• 1:07:10Speaker 01

  I've experimented a little bit. Here's where I've gone. You ready? There's an ice cream spot by me that makes the dumbest cherry vanilla I've ever had in my entire life. It has giant ass pieces of cherry in it.

• 1:07:22Speaker 02

  Ugh.

• 1:07:23Speaker 01

  So good. That with those chocolate crunchies.

• 1:07:28Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:07:30Speaker 01

  In a cup? I mean, I'll do cone too if we're getting nasty.

• 1:07:34Speaker 02

  Wait, what kind of cone though?

• 1:07:35Speaker 01

  The sugar cone.

• 1:07:36Speaker 02

  I like sugar cones.

• 1:07:36Speaker 01

  The one, the waffle cones? Fuck you.

• 1:07:39Speaker 02

  I only like waffle cones if they're gonna stick it in the side of my cup.

• 1:07:43Speaker 01

  Huh?

• 1:07:43Speaker 02

  You know how like you get a cup and they put like a little piece of waffle?

• 1:07:47Speaker 01

  Oh, where it's like lines the cup with a?

• 1:07:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:50Speaker 01

  No, but those are crunchy. Like, I'm talking the waffle cones that like, once the ice cream melts a little, they get like soft and chewy.

• 1:07:57Speaker 01

  You know which ones I'm looking like, the ones that look like it's like a?

• 1:07:59Speaker 02

  Sugar cones are the best. I love sugar cones.

• 1:08:01Speaker 01

  Sugar cones are so good. The ones that they like dip in chocolate and like? Sprinkles?

• 1:08:06Speaker 02

  I've never had any of that, you whore.

• 1:08:07Speaker 01

  I get, fuck it, I'm into it.

• 1:08:09Speaker 02

  So wait, no sauce?

• 1:08:11Speaker 01

  Caramel, maybe. I'm not like choc- like hot fudge.

• 1:08:16Speaker 02

  I'm okay on hot fudge.

• 1:08:17Speaker 01

  You're sacrificing the integrity of your ice cream. You're literally adding heat to it.

• 1:08:21Speaker 02

  I don't fuck with hot fudge.

• 1:08:23Speaker 01

  Fucking hate.

• 1:08:24Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm gonna love this.

• 1:08:25Speaker 01

  The people that dip it in that like magic shell, like the red magic shell and it comes out and it gets hard?

• 1:08:31Speaker 02

  The cherry dip? I used to order that.

• 1:08:32Speaker 01

  Fuck you, bro.

• 1:08:34Speaker 02

  There was a summer when I was like 11, like, I was like, yo, give me the cherry dip.

• 1:08:37Speaker 01

  Ew.

• 1:08:38Speaker 02

  I just liked that it chipped. And it made it like I was, it like added this crunchy element.

• 1:08:43Speaker 01

  Oh, but that's why I get those little balls.

• 1:08:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know.

• 1:08:49Speaker 01

  Ooh, you ever do a, a double?

• 1:08:52Speaker 02

  You know, you get ice cream and it's like two of them?

• 1:08:54Speaker 01

  Oh, no, I'm not double.

• 1:08:55Speaker 02

  What am I doing?

• 1:08:58Speaker 02

  This is like some probably Illuminati shit.

• 1:09:00Speaker 01

  It looks like, it's, it's a weird looking one because I know what you're talking about. It has like the two spots and it's just like a pitchfork.

• 1:09:06Speaker 02

  Bro, and I would go to Sky, I'd be like, "Bro, if I had enough money for it, I'd be like, "Just give me two vanilla with rainbow sprinkles." I wouldn't even mix the shit up.

• 1:09:12Speaker 01

  You were getting nasty with it, dude.

• 1:09:14Speaker 02

  I wouldn't even go crazy.

• 1:09:14Speaker 01

  I also hated the people that got like, like the cherry dip and stuff because they were always like two fifty compared to the one dollar ice cream cone and I was just like, "You rich bastard."

• 1:09:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, take it easy.

• 1:09:24Speaker 01

  Fuck you.

• 1:09:25Speaker 02

  Yo, also, if you had money for ice, the ice cream truck and you got like a, a snow cone or some shit, I should slap you, dude.

• 1:09:34Speaker 01

  Don't you dare speak disrespectfully.

• 1:09:36Speaker 02

  My nephew got a snow cone, I was like, "Bro."

• 1:09:38Speaker 01

  Dude, don't you dare speak disrespectfully of snow cones.

• 1:09:43Speaker 01

  Whack!

• 1:09:45Speaker 02

  Frankie, whack. My nephew's birthday was recently and my brother got like a, a, a like a Mr. Softy to pull up and like whatever. And my nephew was like, "I'll take a snow cone" and I was like, "You idiot."

• 1:10:00Speaker 01

  I love snow cones.

• 1:10:01Speaker 02

  Chipwich.

• 1:10:03Speaker 01

  Oh, too much.

• 1:10:04Speaker 02

  Too much what?

• 1:10:05Speaker 01

  Too much chipwich.

• 1:10:07Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:10:08Speaker 01

  The cookies and the ice cream? The only acceptable form of an ice cream sandwich is the one that has the chocolate on the butt and the top. The long one that has the buttons in it, you know what I'm talking about?

• 1:10:20Speaker 02

  I have those in my freezer as we speak. And I know how Joe used to eat them. I know exactly how Joe used to eat them.

• 1:10:26Speaker 01

  He used to lick around the side like a freak, dude. He would hold this thing?

• 1:10:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:10:31Speaker 01

  And he would

• 1:10:34Speaker 01

  and this dude was a whore.

• 1:10:35Speaker 02

  Hey, he still is.

• 1:10:37Speaker 01

  He's still in the whore.

• 1:10:38Speaker 02

  I'm on my fucking couch, it's like

• 1:10:41Speaker 01

  Oh, god, you're just licking the pussy of this ice cream sandwich.

• 1:10:44Speaker 02

  I really am, honestly.

• 1:10:45Speaker 01

  That's crazy, good for you.

• 1:10:46Speaker 02

  It really is the way to eat it though, but then I, I don't go.

• 1:10:48Speaker 01

  No, it isn't. The way to eat it is, "Um."

• 1:10:50Speaker 02

  Nah, it's boring. This shit is over with in like two seconds.

• 1:10:53Speaker 01

  It's great. So you lick, you, you suck all the cream out of that thing?

• 1:10:57Speaker 02

  Not all of it. I leave some and then I start biting. This is getting crazy now. Even I'll admit, that one sounded wild.

• 1:11:04Speaker 01

  There's parts of the internet that are watching that are just like, "Keep going, Joe."

• 1:11:07Speaker 02

  Hey, keep fighting. Yeah, but then I, I mean, you just eat it? That's like, the, you know?

• 1:11:13Speaker 01

  I, you know, you know my, my, my ice cream truck orders? Priority?

• 1:11:19Speaker 01

  Tweety Bird? Ninja Turtle? Or Bugs Bunny?

• 1:11:22Speaker 02

  Have you ever gotten a? The banana split from one?

• 1:11:26Speaker 01

  No. Who do you think I was, Warren Buffett? Come on! Those were like five bucks back in the day.

• 1:11:33Speaker 02

  Remember, yo, milkshakes? I used to get milkshakes and then I would be hurting for like a year. I spilled a milkshake in my dad's brand new truck and he never found out.

• 1:11:42Speaker 01

  Where did you spill it?

• 1:11:43Speaker 02

  Under the seat.

• 1:11:44Speaker 01

  The front seat?

• 1:11:45Speaker 02

  Backseat. Never found out.

• 1:11:48Speaker 01

  Really?

• 1:11:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:11:49Speaker 01

  And he won't now, because he doesn't watch the show and we're an hour and ten in, baby. He ain't watching now, he ain't watching that.

• 1:11:56Speaker 02

  Hour ten in? We could be ten in. He ain't watching that. So it don't matter. But wow, that's fucked up. You didn't even pay for it. Dude, those, I remember those were like four bucks? And everything else was like a dollar? And then one day, this dude pulled up and milkshakes were like eight bucks. I was like, what do you think this is?

• 1:12:15Speaker 01

  We can track the trajectory of our nation and its greatness by what has happened to ice cream trucks. When ice cream trucks would pull up and they were at the most expensive thing on there, two dollars? And you knew that the drivers were slaying bricks of coke out of them?

• 1:12:32Speaker 02

  Ugh.

• 1:12:32Speaker 01

  Country was a great place.

• 1:12:33Speaker 02

  Nothing better.

• 1:12:34Speaker 01

  Now?

• 1:12:37Speaker 02

  Fifteen dollars?

• 1:12:38Speaker 01

  Oh, five dollars for this fucking?

• 1:12:41Speaker 02

  It's a Yankee Stadium margarita or a milkshake?

• 1:12:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:44Speaker 02

  Fifteen?

• 1:12:45Speaker 01

  What do you think he's gonna pick? Margarita.

• 1:12:48Speaker 02

  Yeah. It comes in a shaker now. Those are great.

• 1:12:51Speaker 01

  That's cool.

• 1:12:53Speaker 02

  You noticed that the last time you went out?

• 1:12:54Speaker 01

  I did. I was there with you.

• 1:13:00Speaker 02

  That's all I got.

• 1:13:00Speaker 01

  Alright, yeah, that's all, alright, bye.

• 1:13:03Speaker 02

  Um, anyway, guys, uh, thank you so much for watching all the way through, uh, we're gonna reiterate again, go to thebasementyard.com, get yourself some tickets to the live shows, it's gonna be a lot of fun, we're very excited to get out there on the road, and, uh, it's always a, it's always a party, it's always a great time at the show, so, come through, and if you, uh, already have your tickets, we appreciate ya, and we'll see ya out there, and also go to thebasementyard.com/submit, be a part of the show, alright, fill it out, let us know, and, uh, yeah, we'll see ya. Frank, where are you gonna be at in your...

• 1:13:30Speaker 01

  They'll find me at the Basement Yard shows.

• 1:13:32Speaker 02

  They'll find me at the Basement Yard shows, because that's where we're gonna be.

• 1:13:36Speaker 02

  You understand? Anyway. That's all for this week's episode.

• 1:13:42Speaker 01

  What is this show?

• 1:13:43Speaker 02

  I don't know what to title this.

• 1:13:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't know, we're gonna title this, alright, let's, let's spitball these now.

• 1:13:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, let's do it here.

• 1:13:49Speaker 01

  Let's spitball these now, we'll spit, we'll title this, uh, uh, Bon Voyage Porn? With a question mark?

• 1:13:57Speaker 02

  Can't do porn on, you can't, you can't write porn in a title.

• 1:14:00Speaker 01

  You can't write porn in a title?

• 1:14:01Speaker 02

  It's bad for the SEO, no.

• 1:14:02Speaker 01

  Um, how about, uh, uh, Bye Bye Bye To Sex? I don't know.

• 1:14:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:14:11Speaker 01

  And it could be us as the marionette, like, instinct.

• 1:14:13Speaker 02

  What else did we talk about? What was the beginning of this?

• 1:14:15Speaker 01

  Uh, your dog, once again, crapping its pants, that thing is...

• 1:14:19Speaker 02

  Dog Story, Horoscope, Heavy Mug, Cereal, Snow Cone. The heaviest mug in the world?

• 1:14:26Speaker 02

  Is that clickbaity enough?

• 1:14:27Speaker 01

  I don't think, I don't think people care about that.

• 1:14:29Speaker 02

  It's like, the heaviest mug in the world, I'm like, cool.

• 1:14:31Speaker 01

  And the title, it should be, uh, like, what's gonna happen next, and it's our face.

• 1:14:36Speaker 02

  We'll put Mr. Beast in the corner.

• 1:14:37Speaker 01

  We'll put Mr. Beast in the corner.

• 1:14:39Speaker 02

  With his dead eyes.

• 1:14:45Speaker 01

  Go check it out, we love you guys, we'll see ya next week.