#490 - The Worst Ways To Propose

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• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 0:27Speaker 01

  Welcome back to the basement.

• 0:34Speaker 02

  Welcome back to the basement yard. Frank, you're here with your Hawaiian shirt. Dead of the winter. I appreciate the dedication.

• 0:40Speaker 01

  I'm also here with Fred Durst, apparently.

• 0:43Speaker 02

  It's a backwards hat, let's relax.

• 0:44Speaker 01

  Fred Durst owns backwards fitted hats.

• 0:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 0:48Speaker 01

  If it's not a fitted hat, it's owned by somebody else.

• 0:50Speaker 02

  But it's usually red, okay?

• 0:51Speaker 01

  Is it only? No, he's had some black ones in there, right?

• 0:55Speaker 02

  Now he's just white. I mean, he's been white. I'm talking about his facial hair.

• 0:59Speaker 01

  I was gonna say.

• 0:59Speaker 02

  White as snow.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  His hair?

• 1:01Speaker 02

  His facial hair.

• 1:02Speaker 01

  You're Fred Durst it out right now. But that's not a bad thing. I mean, you did it all for the nookie. We've discussed this already.

• 1:10Speaker 02

  We've discussed it in grave detail.

• 1:12Speaker 01

  Dude, I think that's what you should go as this year for Halloween.

• 1:15Speaker 02

  Fred Durst.

• 1:16Speaker 01

  Fred Durst. Why not?

• 1:20Speaker 02

  I'm just gonna wear a backwards hat.

• 1:21Speaker 01

  Backwards hat, just start, you know, telling people, "Brake yourself!"

• 1:25Speaker 02

  I can get a little, what's that called?

• 1:27Speaker 01

  A soul patch?

• 1:27Speaker 02

  A soul patch. No, no, no, it's like a, not a goatee. It's like a landing strip, but on your face.

• 1:33Speaker 01

  Landing strip? Remember when the landing strip was popular with vaginas? Yeah, I did it one year.

• 1:38Speaker 02

  You don't have a vagina?

• 1:39Speaker 01

  I know, I don't.

• 1:42Speaker 02

  Wait, you had a landing strip?

• 1:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:45Speaker 02

  For your pussy?

• 1:46Speaker 01

  I don't, let's make something very clear.

• 1:48Speaker 02

  I know, your man, your...

• 1:49Speaker 01

  My boy, my, no.

• 1:50Speaker 02

  Boy pussy, your pussy.

• 1:51Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, no. That's a different, that's your asshole. Yeah, when I was like, at like 18, I would like shave, like a landing strip. I don't know why.

• 2:01Speaker 02

  I know that you've done other stuff, so what else have you done?

• 2:03Speaker 01

  I did an F.

• 2:05Speaker 02

  You shaved an F into your pubes?

• 2:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, a long time ago, long, long, long, long.

• 2:10Speaker 02

  That doesn't help, I mean, it doesn't matter when it happens.

• 2:12Speaker 01

  Yes it does, yes it does. If my younger self did it, I'm not held responsible.

• 2:16Speaker 02

  Wrong. Uh, you shaved an F?

• 2:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, and it was...

• 2:20Speaker 02

  Did someone enjoy the site? Cause I never saw that.

• 2:24Speaker 01

  Would you have enjoyed that site?

• 2:26Speaker 02

  Not enjoyed, but I'm assuming you fucking shaved an F into your pubes and you're like, "Joe, look."

• 2:31Speaker 01

  I mean, I, maybe I showed you my pubes.

• 2:34Speaker 02

  I mean, I feel like I've seen your landing strip.

• 2:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, probably the landing strip, but I remember when I, whether it was the landing strip or the F, I got a physical and my doctor saw it. And he was just like, "Yeah?" And I was like, "Yeah, man." He was like, "Good for you." He was an old Greek man. He was like, "You know, it is good for you, my friend." You know?

• 2:53Speaker 02

  You put an F in your pubes and went to the doctor?

• 2:55Speaker 01

  I didn't realize, I honestly forgot that I had a doctor's appointment. And I did.

• 2:58Speaker 02

  What about remembering the pubes? I would've ran to the bathroom and maybe little...

• 3:02Speaker 01

  Did what? Did what in the bathroom?

• 3:03Speaker 02

  Shave your pubes?

• 3:04Speaker 01

  Hey, do you think I'm carrying around, this is...

• 3:06Speaker 02

  I'm talking about before you get to the doctor!

• 3:08Speaker 01

  2010, Joe, you think I'm carrying around fucking micro touches? No, this is before...

• 3:12Speaker 02

  I mean, honestly, you could've been, because back then you had a drawstring backpack that had like, everything in it.

• 3:17Speaker 01

  It did, but that was a couple of years prior. That was a, that was a weird time. We don't look, we don't...

• 3:21Speaker 02

  You were razor pubing. You were razor-ing your pubes that time.

• 3:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, like, against the grain, too. It was not...

• 3:26Speaker 02

  You would against the grain razor your pubes?

• 3:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 3:29Speaker 02

  You probably sliced that thing up.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  I remember I had the Gillette Fusion, uh, razor. And it was the one that you turned on and it, it just had a vibrating thing in it, like...

• 3:39Speaker 02

  Wait.

• 3:41Speaker 02

  You had a vibrating razor for your pubes?

• 3:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:45Speaker 02

  You're a horny little girl.

• 3:47Speaker 01

  Was that weird? You get horny for your pubes?

• 3:49Speaker 02

  No, I mean, I...

• 3:50Speaker 01

  Someone plays with your pubes, you're horny?

• 3:51Speaker 02

  Someone plays with my pubes?

• 3:52Speaker 01

  Like, plays with your, like, fat...

• 3:54Speaker 02

  What do you think, I'm getting embraided? What do you mean?

• 3:56Speaker 01

  Fat!

• 3:57Speaker 02

  What are you saying?

• 3:59Speaker 01

  What are you talking about? Well, like, what do you mean horny? I'm not like, you think I'm holding my razor to my penis?

• 4:05Speaker 02

  Why does it need to vibrate?

• 4:06Speaker 01

  It was like what the Gillettes did at the time. It was the Gillette Fusion, and I thought it was like, well, this must be, cause I see commercials for it, this must be a really good razor. And it was just a razor. That just vibrated.

• 4:18Speaker 02

  Yo, you, did you shave your balls?

• 4:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:21Speaker 02

  You know, I never shaved my balls in my life.

• 4:23Speaker 01

  So, your balls, you just have like a Gandalf beard on your nuts?

• 4:27Speaker 02

  No, no, no. I mean, it, it like, no. That's not what happened.

• 4:30Speaker 01

  So then what happened?

• 4:32Speaker 02

  I don't know. Like, I mean, back in the day, I never shaved them with like a razor.

• 4:37Speaker 01

  Oh, alright, yeah, I did. Well, I know like certain-

• 4:39Speaker 02

  How'd you do it? You like pulled it taut and then you-

• 4:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course, baby. Hold it tight, go, you know, go around. I have a very delicate sack. I was gonna say, like, I can like navigate the area well. Also, by the way, just remember not Patreon.

• 4:55Speaker 02

  Right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're pulling your sack taut and you're shaving it.

• 4:59Speaker 01

  Well, um, sure. I mean, I haven't done that in a long time. Let's be very, very clear.

• 5:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, now we're just buzz boy trim boys.

• 5:08Speaker 01

  There are certain parts of your body where the hair is like

• 5:13Speaker 01

  chemically or like engineered basically that it will only grow to a certain length. That's why you've never like shaved your legs, right?

• 5:22Speaker 02

  Right.

• 5:23Speaker 01

  That's why it doesn't get like wildly long. It stays the length that it is. And when new hair comes in, it gets that length and it's like, we're good.

• 5:28Speaker 02

  Right.

• 5:29Speaker 01

  Pubes, I think pubes, facial hair-

• 5:31Speaker 02

  Pubes will just go, pubes will go.

• 5:32Speaker 01

  Pubes, facial hair and head hair are the ones that'll just, just, just, just.

• 5:37Speaker 02

  And if you're old and white, then your ear hair, because I've seen some crazy-

• 5:41Speaker 01

  Ew, are you scared about that when you become an old dumb white man?

• 5:44Speaker 02

  I mean, I'm gonna just clean out my ears. I'm gonna get the shavers.

• 5:48Speaker 01

  Ew!

• 5:49Speaker 02

  What do you want me to do? Let it grow out of my fucking ears like potato, like a potato?

• 5:53Speaker 01

  I don't know if I've seen someone live and like in person with like, you know, like hair-

• 5:58Speaker 02

  Oh, I have.

• 5:58Speaker 01

  Jetting out of their ears.

• 6:00Speaker 02

  You've never seen like an old white man in brown pants and suspenders with just ear hair?

• 6:04Speaker 01

  Oh, no, no, no.

• 6:05Speaker 02

  And it's like, bro, how could you even possibly hear with that?

• 6:10Speaker 01

  I don't, no, you know, I-

• 6:11Speaker 02

  What's the grossest hair? What's the grossest hair? You're like, ew, bro, come on.

• 6:15Speaker 01

  I think nose is worse. Like when it's coming, if you see nose hair like coming out, like it's like fucking like a stalactite, that's miserable.

• 6:24Speaker 02

  Stalactite is crazy. Um, I, I don't mind that because I feel like I don't see like really bad nose hair. You'd have to cut that because it would make you sneezy.

• 6:35Speaker 01

  Well, no, I think it's there and it's not making you sneezy. It's when something gets in there that makes you sneezy.

• 6:41Speaker 02

  I hate back of the neck hair.

• 6:43Speaker 01

  Really?

• 6:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, like when people are wearing t-shirts and it's like, dude, it's coming out the back of your neck.

• 6:47Speaker 01

  Really?

• 6:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, I hate that.

• 6:49Speaker 01

  Oh, I don't really care. I don't know how else to say that. Like, hair doesn't really bother me, but like, nose would suck.

• 6:56Speaker 02

  That's hair.

• 6:56Speaker 01

  I know, I'm saying like, nose would be the one that I'd be like, alright, this kinda sucks a lot.

• 7:00Speaker 02

  So if someone walked up on you with a hairy ass nose, you'd be like, bro?

• 7:03Speaker 01

  I'd get this fucking nose out of my face. That's what I would say, honestly. Is that what you want?

• 7:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:08Speaker 01

  But-

• 7:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, I just wanna know.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  You got the Fred Durst thing going on?

• 7:12Speaker 02

  I do, I guess.

• 7:13Speaker 01

  I mean, it's not a bad thing, just live it up, you know?

• 7:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  You also, I could've swore you went to a Camp Rock trivia because Nick Jonas and you, you've resparked the conversation of looking like twinsies.

• 7:26Speaker 02

  Because we have the same jacket.

• 7:27Speaker 01

  And you guys have the same face.

• 7:29Speaker 02

  So I've heard.

• 7:30Speaker 01

  Can you sing like him? Cause he's very like, you know, like-

• 7:33Speaker 02

  He's got a falsetto on him that I don't think that I have.

• 7:36Speaker 01

  Oh, you're saying species of singing. I'm not, I'm not-

• 7:39Speaker 02

  High, high pitch?

• 7:40Speaker 01

  Is that, is that alto?

• 7:43Speaker 02

  No, baritone is-

• 7:46Speaker 02

  And then falsetto is like- Yeah, exactly.

• 7:51Speaker 01

  Like, he's got-

• 7:53Speaker 02

  I don't know why I put an accent on that.

• 7:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't know who the hell that was. That was like, the Croatian version of Nick Jonas.

• 8:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:01Speaker 01

  Nikolaj Jonezkov!

• 8:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, wow, okay.

• 8:03Speaker 01

  There we go. Everyone like that joke?

• 8:05Speaker 02

  Let's wait for the laughter to die down.

• 8:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, I saw that, cause someone tweeted me. They were like, you're never gonna like, beat the allegations, cause we're both wearing the same Nick's jacket.

• 8:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I always forget that they're from Jersey.

• 8:21Speaker 02

  Are they from Jersey?

• 8:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, originally they're from Jersey.

• 8:23Speaker 02

  The Jonas Brothers are Jersey trash? That's awesome.

• 8:26Speaker 01

  Well, why do you have to do that, Joey? That's how you're speaking about my children, too.

• 8:30Speaker 02

  They also-

• 8:32Speaker 01

  And my wife! I'm pissed for everyone!

• 8:35Speaker 02

  They, and you, let's not forget.

• 8:37Speaker 01

  Well, technically, I'm not Jersey trash.

• 8:38Speaker 02

  I mean, you're grandfathered in, I think.

• 8:41Speaker 01

  Oh, I've only been there a couple of years, and now you're grandfathering me into the trash?

• 8:44Speaker 02

  How long have you been there?

• 8:46Speaker 01

  This, September, it'll be seven years.

• 8:48Speaker 02

  Okay, once you get to 10, you're officially-

• 8:50Speaker 01

  10 years, I'm fully in the trash.

• 8:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, wait, do you have a Jersey license?

• 8:54Speaker 01

  Yeah. Where have you been?

• 8:56Speaker 02

  You're, that's treason.

• 8:57Speaker 01

  I wanna be very clear about something. I wasn't happy when I had to switch it over.

• 9:01Speaker 02

  Right.

• 9:01Speaker 01

  But like, I had to switch that and my, like, the plates on my car and everything, because like, didn't I ever tell you when my license got suspended during the pandemic?

• 9:10Speaker 02

  For what?

• 9:12Speaker 01

  Some fuckery and chicanery, but I want to make it very clear, I was very upset about it. And you know me, I like to keep an even keel when I'm talking to like people in like customer service. I don't like being, I have, I feel too bad because I know they have a hard job, but like I was, I was letting them have it.

• 9:27Speaker 02

  Why did your license get suspended?

• 9:28Speaker 01

  Something to do with insurance where like I had, before the pandemic started back five years ago, I had switched, like started the process of switching my insurance over, but then the DMVs and everything just shut down. Like New York, New Jersey, like you couldn't get in touch with anyone.

• 9:46Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 9:46Speaker 01

  So they just suspended my license without telling me.

• 9:49Speaker 02

  That's fire.

• 9:51Speaker 01

  Was it?

• 9:52Speaker 02

  No.

• 9:52Speaker 01

  It wasn't. And I was really fucking pissed off.

• 9:55Speaker 02

  You got pulled over and they were like, "Your license is suspended."

• 9:57Speaker 01

  No, I don't-

• 9:58Speaker 02

  Get the fuck out!

• 9:59Speaker 01

  I don't know, that's, you know, I like how, because I'm a brown man, that, that's the first place that you would go.

• 10:03Speaker 02

  Uh, brown is crazy.

• 10:04Speaker 01

  Uh, tan, tan!

• 10:06Speaker 02

  Well, it's the winter, so you're more just like-

• 10:08Speaker 01

  I'm darker than you.

• 10:09Speaker 02

  How hard is that? I'm, I'm fucking-

• 10:11Speaker 01

  You're Fred Durst!

• 10:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:15Speaker 01

  No, it, it was, uh, I don't remember how I found out. I think I called them, because I got a letter in the mail or something like that.

• 10:22Speaker 02

  And it was like, "Yeah, you're suspended."

• 10:23Speaker 01

  I don't, I don't remember, but I remember I was-

• 10:25Speaker 02

  Have you ever been suspended from school?

• 10:27Speaker 01

  Almost. I almost got suspended. That whole you smell thing, remember I told you that story where my dad had to come in? I told, this is a famous, my father's story.

• 10:36Speaker 02

  You told someone they smelled?

• 10:37Speaker 01

  No, so-

• 10:38Speaker 02

  Give us the abridge.

• 10:39Speaker 01

  The abridge. Here's the abridge.

• 10:43Speaker 02

  What is it?

• 10:44Speaker 01

  Don't laugh at that bitch. Um, I was in our like tech class and what we had to do was we had to like use, like we were learning coding and like building websites and shit like that. And we were in a group and you can look at people's stuff from other groups and comment on it, like feedback and shit like that.

• 10:59Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 10:59Speaker 01

  And I-

• 11:00Speaker 02

  Recipe for disaster, go ahead.

• 11:03Speaker 01

  I will say this.

• 11:04Speaker 02

  You're terrorizing everyone?

• 11:05Speaker 01

  At the time, I didn't have a good reputation.

• 11:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, this is the pinnacle of prank Frank, probably.

• 11:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, prank Frank was out in full force.

• 11:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:13Speaker 01

  Um, and I had gotten up to go to the bathroom and I left my computer open, because it was one of those things where like they'd wheel in the laptops and you'd-

• 11:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:22Speaker 01

  And I left it open. I went to the bathroom, but my defense was, it was when you had to sign out. Remember our teachers made us do that? They were just like, "You have to sign your name- when you're leaving and when you're coming back." Like they fucking police us.

• 11:32Speaker 02

  It's prison shit.

• 11:33Speaker 01

  Yeah. It made sense though, because people were pissing all over the toilet paper in the bathrooms.

• 11:40Speaker 01

  But.

• 11:40Speaker 02

  Yo, I have thrown toilet paper soaking wet at the ceiling.

• 11:43Speaker 01

  We used to do that together in elementary school.

• 11:44Speaker 02

  That's a fun thing to do.

• 11:45Speaker 01

  Oh, wet, wet paper is so sick.

• 11:48Speaker 02

  When you're younger and you're walking into the boys bathroom and then you're like, yo, let's just have fun. And you crumple up a bunch of paper, you soak it and you throw it against the ceiling, nothing better.

• 11:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:57Speaker 02

  And then it just starts dripping.

• 11:58Speaker 01

  That's how we had, that's how we had fun.

• 12:01Speaker 02

  It was fun.

• 12:01Speaker 01

  In boys bathrooms as kids.

• 12:03Speaker 02

  I never shit on the ground or pissed all over the soap.

• 12:05Speaker 01

  No, no, no peeing in soaps. I knew people that did that. That's why I was very upset about it.

• 12:09Speaker 02

  I never pissed in the sink. I spit in the sink.

• 12:12Speaker 01

  I, uh, spit in the sink. I didn't piss in the sink. I used, I didn't piss in the soap.

• 12:16Speaker 02

  You ever shit in a urinal?

• 12:17Speaker 01

  I've never crapped in a urinal.

• 12:18Speaker 02

  Me either. I just wanna get that.

• 12:19Speaker 01

  That's just mean, dude. Like, people have to piss in that.

• 12:21Speaker 02

  Well, people have to clean it. I'm not worried about peeing on stuff.

• 12:24Speaker 01

  Oh, you just piss the crap away?

• 12:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, I mean, eventually, yeah. If no one's gonna clean it up, that's what you have to do.

• 12:30Speaker 01

  You piss the crap away.

• 12:31Speaker 02

  Right, yeah.

• 12:33Speaker 01

  But I went to the bathroom and while I was gone, someone on my computer wrote to somebody else, "You smell." And came back.

• 12:41Speaker 02

  That's it?

• 12:42Speaker 01

  Yeah. Came back, the girl ran out and was like really upset and the teacher like immediately was just like, "You downstairs, principal's off." I was like, "Fuck." And they had to like set up a hearing. My dad had to come in the next morning.

• 12:52Speaker 02

  Because of "you smell"?

• 12:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:55Speaker 02

  Geez, dude, that's pretty like...

• 12:57Speaker 01

  It's what, I don't know what this says about me.

• 12:59Speaker 02

  Who was the girl? Did she stink?

• 13:03Speaker 01

  She must have stunk if she's like...

• 13:05Speaker 02

  I don't remember her smelling. "You smell"?

• 13:08Speaker 01

  I don't remember if she smelled.

• 13:11Speaker 02

  I mean, clearly she's self-conscious about that.

• 13:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't...

• 13:14Speaker 02

  I'm not trying to victim, I mean, I, I guess I am. I'm victim blaming here, but like, that seems pretty light.

• 13:21Speaker 01

  Yeah. And that was my argument. It's during the hearing.

• 13:24Speaker 02

  Your argument wasn't, it wasn't me?

• 13:25Speaker 01

  My argument, my argument was multifaceted. One of them was, "Hey, listen, I was out at the bathroom. Here's when I signed out, signed in. You, you know, whatever." The other one was, um, "If I'm going to insult someone..."

• 13:39Speaker 02

  "You said that?"

• 13:41Speaker 01

  She's like, "Yo, I can do much better than you smell." I swear to god. I said, I was just like, yeah, if I insulted someone, it would be a little bit more elaborate than you smell.

• 13:50Speaker 02

  Elaborate?

• 13:51Speaker 01

  It would!

• 13:52Speaker 02

  What grade was this?

• 13:52Speaker 01

  Eighth, seventh, eighth grade, one of those two.

• 13:55Speaker 02

  Okay, yeah.

• 13:55Speaker 01

  And, uh, and they, my dad came in, it was a whole big ordeal. I've told the story probably on the show, but...

• 14:01Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 14:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was, uh, it was something. But you smell, you know, like that's-

• 14:05Speaker 02

  But they let you stay. Bro, eighth grade is too late in life.

• 14:09Speaker 01

  Wait, were you ever like, did you get like in-house suspension?

• 14:12Speaker 02

  Yeah. That I got, I got in-house suspended a few times, which is just, they sit you in a room and they put like, uh, these like walls, so you can't like look at anyone, and then you have to do, uh, like work the entire day. And they let you go to the bathroom twice a day.

• 14:25Speaker 01

  Sounds like solitary confinement.

• 14:27Speaker 02

  Basically.

• 14:27Speaker 01

  Yeah. They only let you go to the bathroom twice a day.

• 14:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:30Speaker 01

  Yo, I never fucking got that. I never fucking understood that.

• 14:34Speaker 02

  Teachers hate when you go to the bathroom.

• 14:36Speaker 01

  I mean, granted, that's where shit goes down, let's be honest. Like, literally and figuratively. But...

• 14:43Speaker 01

  But like, teacher would be like, you have one trip to the bathroom per day, and it's like, "Bro, what if I'm just, you want me to piss and crap everywhere?"

• 14:51Speaker 02

  I wonder what it's like in schools now, because you remember it's like, "Oh, I gotta go to the bathroom," and they're like, "Here, take this." And it was like a fucking-

• 14:58Speaker 01

  A full chair, attached to a key. And I'm like, wh- why does it have to be a giant box? And I hope they still don't do this. Even worse, they would be like, "All right, pick someone to go with you."

• 15:09Speaker 02

  What is that?

• 15:10Speaker 01

  And then we'd get up and we'd go, "Hmm," and obviously every time, we picked each other.

• 15:15Speaker 02

  Right.

• 15:15Speaker 01

  But like, and you never, and if you did pick somebody else, I was pissed about it.

• 15:18Speaker 02

  I was gonna hear about that for a year.

• 15:19Speaker 01

  For a couple fucking months.

• 15:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:21Speaker 01

  But like, go, like, we were in a school, dude, I-

• 15:25Speaker 02

  I could totally handle this by myself.

• 15:26Speaker 01

  The bathroom's down the hall, it's not like fucking across the street, yeah.

• 15:30Speaker 02

  I don't, I don't get that.

• 15:32Speaker 01

  It made no sense.

• 15:32Speaker 02

  It's like, take someone with you in case you fall in? Like, why am I taking a spotter? I'm taking a shit.

• 15:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:38Speaker 02

  I don't want anyone there.

• 15:39Speaker 01

  I don't know, schools were crazy back in the day.

• 15:42Speaker 02

  Never dumped in school.

• 15:43Speaker 01

  We really should get one of our old teachers on this show and see if we can ask them like, "Why did you do this?"

• 15:49Speaker 02

  I don't think that any of our teachers will remember specific things about us.

• 15:52Speaker 01

  I hope they do. I would, I would like to think they did.

• 15:56Speaker 02

  Fucking 25 years ago, basically.

• 15:58Speaker 01

  I mean, you know, they, they tend to remember memorable students, and I think that,

• 16:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:03Speaker 01

  Not only were we memorable at the time, but like, look at us now.

• 16:13Speaker 01

  You know?

• 16:14Speaker 02

  Do you know that like, when I was in middle school? In like 7th and 8th grade? I was cool with our vice principal.

• 16:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was cool with my, the staff too.

• 16:24Speaker 02

  I, I like, I would get sent to her office all the time and she was like very nice to me. And, uh, I thought that we had like a good rapport. And, I just, like, I wasn't emotionally stable back then. So, I like, would just get like very angry very quickly.

• 16:42Speaker 01

  What was, oh, like you had like a temper?

• 16:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:45Speaker 01

  I wouldn't define you as ever having had a temper.

• 16:48Speaker 02

  I did then, and I don't, I don't even know why.

• 16:49Speaker 01

  It's a circle, because you were also the smallest, little puniest, little baby boy at the time. So like, who were you scaring, bitch?

• 16:55Speaker 02

  I wasn't trying to scare anyone.

• 16:59Speaker 02

  What the hell was that?

• 17:02Speaker 02

  One more time, one more time. Do me, this is me in 7th grade.

• 17:04Speaker 01

  Alright, what are you mad about? Give me, give me the scene, give me the scene.

• 17:07Speaker 02

  Someone's accusing me of something, but I didn't do it.

• 17:09Speaker 01

  Oh, accusing you of what? I need to know exactly what.

• 17:11Speaker 02

  Uh, stealing someone's backpack.

• 17:13Speaker 01

  Stealing someone's backpack? Oh, smaller, something that you might like-

• 17:16Speaker 02

  Pencil.

• 17:16Speaker 01

  Okay, alright.

• 17:21Speaker 02

  Go ahead.

• 17:26Speaker 01

  It'd be like-

• 17:30Speaker 01

  I don't know why you're-

• 17:31Speaker 02

  Go ahead.

• 17:32Speaker 01

  Yo, I ain't stealing no money, punk, soon, yo!

• 17:36Speaker 01

  That was so- Yo, I ain't doing anything, eh?

• 17:41Speaker 01

  As you were wearing your fucking Etnies, and you were listening to Good Charlotte.

• 17:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, probably not back then.

• 17:47Speaker 01

  You had Good Charlotte on your, on your MP3.

• 17:49Speaker 02

  Good Charlotte came a little later, but, yeah.

• 17:51Speaker 01

  Middle school, that was Good Charlotte, that was prime!

• 17:53Speaker 02

  Uh, whatever, I mean regardless, you know?

• 17:56Speaker 01

  He took, he took the, the, your butt out of his head, and you just hear like in the background like-

• 18:03Speaker 01

  I did fuck it.

• 18:06Speaker 02

  That is a South Park voice.

• 18:07Speaker 01

  That might be. But you were just like, you had like, and you had big teeth at the time, I remember, like you were so small. You were like a little-

• 18:15Speaker 02

  I had big teeth.

• 18:16Speaker 01

  You were like a hairless, big-toothed, little white rodent.

• 18:20Speaker 02

  You're not very nice.

• 18:22Speaker 01

  A hairless, big-toothed, white, little rodent. I mean, it's, but like-

• 18:26Speaker 02

  What were you?

• 18:28Speaker 01

  I was a big-nose, skinny, lanky, dumb, brown kid.

• 18:33Speaker 02

  I feel better now.

• 18:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, there you go. You were Rufus.

• 18:38Speaker 02

  Did you just Google that? You scumbag. Fired.

• 18:41Speaker 01

  Honestly, honestly.

• 18:42Speaker 02

  Fired.

• 18:43Speaker 01

  Honestly.

• 18:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:44Speaker 01

  Not that far off.

• 18:46Speaker 02

  I don't have big buck teeth.

• 18:48Speaker 01

  He does not. He doesn't have big buck teeth.

• 18:50Speaker 02

  But that, but the rest of it probably is accurate.

• 18:53Speaker 01

  Yo, I recently watched Kim Possible. Holds up. Still good.

• 18:58Speaker 02

  Never watched an episode of that.

• 18:59Speaker 01

  What?

• 18:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:00Speaker 01

  No way. Yes, you did.

• 19:02Speaker 02

  No, I didn't.

• 19:02Speaker 01

  It was on like, like before even Stevens or something.

• 19:05Speaker 02

  I mean, I just didn't watch it.

• 19:06Speaker 01

  What? Why?

• 19:07Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 19:08Speaker 01

  Aw, man.

• 19:09Speaker 02

  I also wasn't in.

• 19:09Speaker 01

  She was your basic average girl. She was just here to save the world. You can't stop her because she's.

• 19:14Speaker 02

  Kim Possible.

• 19:16Speaker 01

  No, it's Kim.

• 19:18Speaker 02

  I had a crush on her, though. I liked the pants.

• 19:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're wearing them right now.

• 19:31Speaker 02

  I am wearing Kim Possible pants right now.

• 19:33Speaker 01

  You're dressed basically like Kim Possible right now. You just need the red hair.

• 19:36Speaker 02

  I just need gloves.

• 19:37Speaker 01

  Oh, you're dressed like Ron, her boy. That's who you look like.

• 19:41Speaker 02

  Who's Ron? Wasn't there a guy in the show who was trying to fuck her the whole time?

• 19:43Speaker 01

  Ron Dangerously? Is that what his name? Ron Stoppable.

• 19:45Speaker 02

  Ron Stoppable.

• 19:46Speaker 01

  That's, you kind of look like that if you had a little bit lighter hair.

• 19:50Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 19:52Speaker 01

  You don't think so?

• 19:52Speaker 02

  No.

• 19:53Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 19:54Speaker 02

  Anyway.

• 19:55Speaker 01

  I can see it.

• 19:55Speaker 02

  But anyway, the reason why I brought that up is because I would go into her office all the time. And we had a good rapport and I thought that we were cool, whatever. And I remember like two years out of middle school, I had sent an email to her. Like, hey, it's Joe. She had no idea who I was. Two years afterwards. I'm like, bro, we had like a thing. We knew each other.

• 20:13Speaker 01

  Well, that's not a way to speak about your race principle.

• 20:14Speaker 02

  That's not what I meant. We didn't have a thing. There was nothing like that.

• 20:17Speaker 01

  Aw, were you upset?

• 20:18Speaker 02

  She let me play with her dartboard. That sounds weird, too.

• 20:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's also.

• 20:22Speaker 02

  She had a legitimate dartboard that I would play, that I, never mind.

• 20:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, you honestly just buried, you buried yourself a little bit. What was her name? Say it. So everyone knows the potential criminal.

• 20:32Speaker 02

  Ms. Del Valle.

• 20:33Speaker 01

  Well, there you go.

• 20:34Speaker 02

  Yeah. Ms. Del Valle is her name.

• 20:36Speaker 01

  Damn, so she just forgot you. I like to think that there are teachers that remember me.

• 20:39Speaker 02

  I know you like to think. Well, people will probably remember you because your mom worked in the school.

• 20:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:47Speaker 02

  But like.

• 20:48Speaker 01

  Bro, they were, they were like, people loved my mom.

• 20:50Speaker 02

  You think Ms. D. Filippi remembers us?

• 20:52Speaker 01

  I hope so.

• 20:52Speaker 02

  No way.

• 20:53Speaker 01

  Well, she can't because she's probably.

• 20:55Speaker 02

  She's probably.

• 20:56Speaker 01

  Six feet deep in her sleep, no pajamas. You know what I'm saying?

• 20:58Speaker 02

  I know exactly what you mean.

• 21:00Speaker 01

  I just, I like to think, well, like, my mom had like a lot of friends, so like, they'd know me as Nancy's son.

• 21:05Speaker 02

  Right.

• 21:05Speaker 01

  Bro, I had one teacher who was never my teacher. I never did a class with him, anything. He was like, I want to write you a letter of recommendation. I was like, I don't know you.

• 21:14Speaker 02

  Who? Oh, in high school?

• 21:16Speaker 01

  I'm gonna say, yeah.

• 21:17Speaker 02

  I've, I've just said every name.

• 21:19Speaker 01

  Uh, Montalvo. He was a nice guy, but like, never once.

• 21:25Speaker 02

  Wanted to hook you up?

• 21:26Speaker 01

  Never once, I thought he was just Googling Montalvo.

• 21:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's like, go to LinkedIn.

• 21:31Speaker 01

  I never once, like, had a class, he just knew me through my mom, and he was just like, I want to write you a letter of recommendation. I was like, go nuts.

• 21:36Speaker 02

  For who?

• 21:37Speaker 01

  For college.

• 21:38Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 21:39Speaker 01

  And it was just.

• 21:39Speaker 02

  See, I don't know about that.

• 21:40Speaker 01

  I know, because you never.

• 21:41Speaker 02

  I forged all my, like, re- re- hello.

• 21:44Speaker 01

  Wait, what?

• 21:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, I wrote a, a, a letter of recommendation for college, but I made it up.

• 21:49Speaker 01

  Who is it from?

• 21:51Speaker 02

  I made up a name.

• 21:53Speaker 01

  Wait.

• 21:53Speaker 02

  I was like, there's no way they're gonna look into this, so I just wrote something.

• 21:55Speaker 01

  So you just made up complete nonsense? And what, I mean, obviously, it was not very good because you didn't get in any cool schools.

• 22:02Speaker 02

  I was actually good at writing, so I was able to like, I, I didn't want to go to college.

• 22:07Speaker 01

  It's hysterical.

• 22:08Speaker 02

  So I, I, I remember, I told my parents, you're supposed to apply for college in like, November, December of your senior year, right?

• 22:17Speaker 01

  Uh, around then, yeah, like, maybe a little earlier.

• 22:19Speaker 02

  And I told my mom I did, and she was like, which schools? And I just like, I was like, oh, I like, you know, like, I just started naming like SUNY schools and shit that I'd like heard of. And I was like, yeah, they're.

• 22:29Speaker 01

  And your mom worked at a school, so she's like.

• 22:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, she probably had some sort of like inkling. Um, and I remember being like, I haven't done any of that. I never applied for a school, and then when it came to like. Fucking April or something.

• 22:43Speaker 01

  Really?

• 22:44Speaker 02

  I went to my guidance counselor and she was like, you should, are you gonna apply? Cause I was honest with her. I was like, I haven't applied to anything. And she's like, apply to Queensborough Community College and they'll accept you, but you need a letter of recommendation. So I just wrote one.

• 22:58Speaker 01

  Bro, without exaggeration, I had like, probably like six or seven letters of recommendation written.

• 23:03Speaker 02

  Well, you also had a plan to actually go to college. I was just like, I'm just trying to get into this school. I'm gonna lie about this. If they say this is fake and I can't go, total, I don't care.

• 23:11Speaker 01

  I wrote a letter of recommendation a couple of times and one of them was not a recommendation for the job. It was a...

• 23:18Speaker 02

  You're a piece of shit. Someone asked you for a letter of recommendation and you wrote a bad one?

• 23:21Speaker 01

  And I told them very clearly, like, listen, like, uh, cause they, it was when I was a, a, a, like, a supervisor. And I made it very clear, like, I don't think you would be right for this position. And they said, like, I, can you still, like, I need a letter of recommendation. And I was just like...

• 23:35Speaker 02

  Do you, do you know the word recommendation is like the big part? And you didn't recommend?

• 23:40Speaker 01

  Well, you, a recommendation doesn't need to be in the affirmative. It could be in the, like, I am not recommending this person.

• 23:49Speaker 02

  That is astounding.

• 23:50Speaker 01

  Of cour- I mean-

• 23:51Speaker 02

  You told them, like, I'm going to write something negative?

• 23:53Speaker 01

  Bro, as a supervisor, oh, let me, let me, let me, let me! As a supervisor, I had to be fucking honest and I said to them-

• 24:01Speaker 02

  No, you don't!

• 24:02Speaker 01

  Yes, you do!

• 24:02Speaker 02

  That'd be fake!

• 24:03Speaker 01

  No!

• 24:04Speaker 02

  Yeah!

• 24:04Speaker 01

  No way, Jose.

• 24:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:07Speaker 01

  I was very clear. It was someone that I did not have a good working relationship with. I also did not like this person as an individual.

• 24:14Speaker 02

  Did you tell them that it was gonna be negative?

• 24:15Speaker 01

  I told them very clearly, like, I don't think you're right for this position. I, I don't, I think you should ask somebody else. And they were just like, I have nobody else to ask. And I was just like...

• 24:25Speaker 02

  That's so sad.

• 24:26Speaker 01

  I agree, but also like, bro, it's your reputation that you're putting on the line.

• 24:30Speaker 02

  Why were they bad? What were they bad at?

• 24:31Speaker 01

  Not everyone is fucking Quincy the Beep Bop or whoever you, you know, wrote as your fake letter of recommendation. Like, these are real people. This was my represent, you know, like, it was representing me.

• 24:40Speaker 02

  Right.

• 24:41Speaker 01

  And why were they bad? They were just like, you know, I, I-

• 24:44Speaker 02

  Not a good, uh, like, a, not a good person? Or they were just like, late to stuff and...

• 24:49Speaker 01

  Like, just didn't know how to work with people well, like, couldn't read a room, like, in-

• 24:55Speaker 02

  They just couldn't read or write and be like, what's going on?

• 24:57Speaker 01

  No, no, no, but like couldn't, like just didn't mesh well and people generally didn't like them because they were too intense. And that was all feedback I'd given this person during the year. And I had to like-

• 25:09Speaker 02

  That's so fucked.

• 25:10Speaker 01

  Why is it fucked? It's honest!

• 25:12Speaker 02

  What if you found out they're homeless?

• 25:14Speaker 01

  Um, if the reason is because of the letter of recommendation?

• 25:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:19Speaker 01

  I would feel bad.

• 25:20Speaker 02

  You know that writing that letter means they are not getting the job. Like you are solidifying the fact that they're not getting a job.

• 25:26Speaker 01

  Uh, I mean, maybe, but also it's not entirely on letters of recommendation. Like if they went out there and they crushed the interview.

• 25:37Speaker 02

  That was my thinking. I'm like, no one's even going to read this letter of recommendation.

• 25:41Speaker 01

  I mean, yes, they will.

• 25:42Speaker 02

  No, they won't.

• 25:43Speaker 01

  Yes, they will.

• 25:44Speaker 02

  It's a community college. No one's reading this.

• 25:46Speaker 01

  I mean, maybe. They see Joe Santagato, future YouTube star. Joe Jonas look-alike, lover of Mac Miller. They'd say, yeah, let's read this. Absolutely.

• 25:56Speaker 02

  No one's going to read that. And if they did read it, like, like, wait, hold on. Let me go verify that this person actually exists before I, like, bro, it's community, like, take it easy.

• 26:05Speaker 01

  Jobs do that. Like, they do.

• 26:07Speaker 02

  I'm sure they do. I just didn't think that like a community college would.

• 26:10Speaker 01

  I imagine that. It's, it's like, you need to like, you don't know if they're gonna do it. So like, what if they, what if they pick you as the person to do it to?

• 26:17Speaker 02

  I was like, in my head, I'm like, I have good grades. Like I'm, like, overqualified, I guess, to get into this school. I could definitely get accepted to the school because my grades are good. And I'm writing a letter of recommendation, whatever, who cares? I just kept it very vague in general. I didn't put anything like specifically like, top of his class, scholar. I just said like, yeah, cool.

• 26:36Speaker 01

  Joe was hardworking and-

• 26:37Speaker 02

  Basic shit. I don't remember exactly what I wrote, but I remember being like-

• 26:40Speaker 01

  The irony that they prop, what if they did read it and they were just like, wow, this kid sounds like a really good kid? And then you just don't go back.

• 26:47Speaker 02

  Well, that's what happened.

• 26:47Speaker 01

  I know.

• 26:49Speaker 02

  That's what happened, but-

• 26:50Speaker 01

  Ant, did you go to college?

• 26:51Speaker 02

  I did.

• 26:52Speaker 01

  Where?

• 26:53Speaker 02

  Baruch, in the city.

• 26:54Speaker 01

  Oh, nice. So it's a school of business. That's a big school of business, right?

• 26:56Speaker 02

  Finance, yeah.

• 26:57Speaker 01

  Did you get your, you got your four-year degree?

• 26:59Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 26:59Speaker 01

  Good for you. So we're, we're right here, you know, you and I. All their dummies.

• 27:05Speaker 03

  We all ended up here.

• 27:06Speaker 02

  I do want to make one comment. I want to make one comment about that.

• 27:09Speaker 01

  We all ended up working for him.

• 27:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, we all, yeah. You guys happy with your degrees?

• 27:14Speaker 01

  I don't know the point you're trying to make.

• 27:16Speaker 02

  Oh man, I wish I cared more, but we do have, uh, we do have sponsors for today. The first one being, how you doing Sea Geek, okay? You guys want to go to a Broadway play? You want to go to a, a little sports game or something like that? You can do so with Sea Geek. I have been using them for years. It's the only marketplace that I buy my tickets, okay? And, uh, the basement yard, when we went on tour last year, I saw the tickets on Sea Geek. That was kind of like a full circle moment for me. I'm like, wow, look at this, it's so nice. Uh, but right now you can get your tickets. Uh, they got Kendrick Lamar is, is going on tour with SZA, Tyler, the Creator, Shakira. That would be awesome. Um, Dua Lipa?

• 27:57Speaker 02

  Everyone else, you could go to their, their, uh, concerts or whatever. You can do so with Sea Geek, like I said. Um, but yeah, uh, go to, go to Sea Geek. Um, and I came through for you guys, you know that, all right? We're going to save you 10% on tickets. So you can use the code basement2025 for 10% off your next set of tickets at Sea Geek, okay? So that's 10% off any tickets with the promo code basement2025. So if you plan on going to any sort of, uh, show that, um, you know, requires a ticket and it's on Sea Geek, save that 10%. Use the code basement2025, all right? So go download that, um, go download that app and, uh, yeah, you're welcome, folks. Uh, we also have Skims, okay? Skims, unbelievable underwear, folks.

• 28:41Speaker 02

  Uh, Skims is, is the best thing that I've ever put in my body. Frank loves Skims. I remember when he came in and he started talking about it. He was like, this is the most comfortable thing that's ever set foot.

• 28:50Speaker 01

  Confirmed.

• 28:51Speaker 02

  Not set foot, that's not what I meant to say.

• 28:52Speaker 01

  That has ever, uh, bestowed my bottom.

• 28:55Speaker 02

  That has been a, bestowed my bottom. Um, but it's very comfortable, breathable underwear. Um, I don't think I'm going back, okay? I'm just going to wear Skims for the rest of my life. Put them on, and you thought they were only for women. And honestly, when they first came out, I think they were just for women. And I was like, that looks very comfortable and I enjoy the colors. Unfortunately, I'm not going to put pantyhose on my body because I think that would look a little strange. But you know, it's an insecurity thing. But then when they have a men's line now, and it's very comfortable, I've had it, so any fellows out there, or any women out there that want to buy it for their fella, you guys can do so, go to skims.com, alright? Go to skims.com/basement, and yeah, go shop, and then after you purchase everything, after you place your order, select Podcast in the survey, and select our show in the dropdown menu that follows.

• 29:40Speaker 02

  So let them know that we sent you to Skims, alright? Like I said, for women out there, if you want your guy to have nice underwear, or for fellows out there, you want a nice pair of underwear, which I know as guys, it takes a long time for us to throw underwear away. It's hanging on by a thread, and you're like, "No, these are my lucky pair." It's time to upgrade, okay? Go to Skims, get yourself a pair of nice underwear there. Skims.com/basement, click on the, select Podcast in the survey, and select our show. Let them know that we sent you, alright?

• 30:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, and if you want something that's not only feeling warm and cozy around your bottom, you want something that's making you feel warm and cozy in your heart, right here in your chest, go to patreon.com/thebasementyard, where we're gonna have more shows for you! There's gonna be us and you, and it's gonna be a warm cozy hangout sesh, okay? Join Patreon, and join that first tier, and you get these weekly episodes, one week in advance, and in that second tier, you get exclusive episodes, every single Friday. So you could start your week and end your week with The Basement Yard! That makes me so happy! Thank you so much! You know, we are so appreciative and grateful, you guys have seen by now, I hope, we are in a new studio, and a huge reason we're getting the opportunity to do this is not only the love and support we get from everyone across the board, but our friends over on

• 30:52Speaker 01

  Patreon. So patreon.com/thebasementyard, thank you guys so much, we love you, and guess what? Again, if you didn't see, we're going over to Europe. We have some shows in Scotland, London, and Dublin, and if you're coming to any of those shows, make sure you go to thebasementyard.com/submit, let us know what show you're coming to, and submit responses to the questions we have there. A big part of these shows that we did last year, and we want to do it again this year, is they're interactive. We talk to you, you talk to us, crazy stories, bing, bang, boom, it's insane. It's, uh, maybe not. But, if you go and you submit it, maybe we'll pick your card, maybe we'll talk to you, about you, we can also, if you ask to be kept anonymous, put that in there, whatever.

• 31:35Speaker 01

  But go to thebasementyard.com/submit, let us know what show you're coming to, submit your response, and you never know, maybe we'll talk at the shows, alright? Back to Joe. That was my transition noise.

• 31:47Speaker 02

  I figured.

• 31:48Speaker 01

  That was it. Did you like that?

• 31:50Speaker 02

  Someone's calling me.

• 31:51Speaker 01

  Oh, who is it?

• 31:53Speaker 02

  Don't know the number, not picking it up. Never pick it up.

• 31:55Speaker 01

  Scary, scary, scary, scary. I'm all-

• 31:57Speaker 02

  Scary?

• 31:57Speaker 01

  Did I even tell you I used to like, like, mess with those scam callers?

• 32:02Speaker 02

  Uh, I've done that.

• 32:03Speaker 01

  I've keep, I've kept them on the phone for like five, 10 minutes.

• 32:05Speaker 02

  We were like Hall of Fame prank callers back in the day.

• 32:09Speaker 01

  I stand by, I was a great prank caller. Prank called one of our friends as a girl saying I wanted to get intimate with them. And-

• 32:16Speaker 02

  I'm sure you didn't use that language.

• 32:18Speaker 01

  Oh, no, yeah, no. And do you remember?

• 32:20Speaker 02

  Um, I remember you-

• 32:22Speaker 01

  Do you remember?

• 32:24Speaker 02

  I know that, I don't, I don't know that specific story about that, but I do remember you, uh, cyber prank calling one of our friends. Meaning you created a screen name and were like flirting with one of our friends via like-

• 32:34Speaker 01

  Ah, catfishing, catfishing. You can call it that.

• 32:37Speaker 02

  Uh, and I remember the screen name was skeet on my face XX.

• 32:40Speaker 01

  X?

• 32:42Speaker 02

  Oh, was it? Three X's.

• 32:43Speaker 01

  Was it?

• 32:43Speaker 02

  It was skeet on my face. That I know for sure.

• 32:47Speaker 02

  And you were like, "Oh, hey, how you doing? You're so hot." And they were like, "Whoa, what?"

• 32:50Speaker 01

  Really?

• 32:51Speaker 02

  And then the screen name was literally skeet on my face XX.

• 32:54Speaker 01

  I remember skeet, the skeeting. Uh, like in the screen name. Let's make that very clear.

• 32:58Speaker 02

  We did, yeah.

• 32:58Speaker 01

  But it was all fun. It was just bros hanging in-

• 33:01Speaker 02

  It's just prank, prank, prank, and the guys.

• 33:03Speaker 01

  Pranking guys and having fun.

• 33:05Speaker 02

  Right.

• 33:05Speaker 01

  I remember one time I prank called one of our friends and I was just like, "Um, like, can I like come and like touch your balls?" And like, he was like with other friends of ours and he was just like, "Yo, she wants, she's, she's down." You remember everyone would always say like DTF?

• 33:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:19Speaker 01

  You know? And then I would like pretended like my boyfriend took the phone and he was just like, "Oh, alright, come through. Like, let's fight." And then you could hear, I remember hearing our friend, two of our other friends say like, "Yo, you got the hammer?"

• 33:33Speaker 02

  Stop.

• 33:34Speaker 01

  I swear. And then he said like, "They're in the cut." Cause I said like, "I'm coming to get you."

• 33:40Speaker 02

  Got it.

• 33:40Speaker 01

  And we showed up.

• 33:42Speaker 02

  And it was you.

• 33:43Speaker 01

  And it was me.

• 33:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. You're an idiot.

• 33:46Speaker 01

  It was so fun.

• 33:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:48Speaker 01

  So fun to be a kid and mess around with your friends, have a little bit of good times. You know?

• 33:54Speaker 02

  Yeah. I do know exactly what you mean.

• 33:56Speaker 01

  But I was a good prank caller. Maybe we should do episodes of prank calling people.

• 33:59Speaker 02

  I'm not gonna prank call anyone.

• 34:00Speaker 01

  Why not?

• 34:01Speaker 02

  I mean, I'm, cause I'm, you know-

• 34:02Speaker 01

  An adult?

• 34:03Speaker 02

  That's part of it.

• 34:04Speaker 01

  That's part of it.

• 34:05Speaker 02

  That's a big part of it, I would say.

• 34:07Speaker 01

  When's the last time you prank called someone?

• 34:11Speaker 02

  A very long time.

• 34:14Speaker 01

  Man, well, that was the time. Remember there was that show Crank Yankers?

• 34:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:18Speaker 01

  And then, you don't remember that?

• 34:19Speaker 02

  It was like puppets that were like...

• 34:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, prank calling.

• 34:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:22Speaker 01

  And then there was the infamous prank call that you kicked my dog. That's like twenty, almost twenty-three or twenty-four years ago.

• 34:28Speaker 02

  That is a white guy doing a seemingly Indian man's accent.

• 34:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:34Speaker 02

  Problematic.

• 34:35Speaker 01

  A little bit, and, you know.

• 34:37Speaker 02

  You know.

• 34:38Speaker 01

  But a classic!

• 34:41Speaker 01

  But a classic! It's not, it was, it definitely was.

• 34:45Speaker 02

  That was the funniest thing in the world at one point.

• 34:47Speaker 01

  No, the funniest thing in the world was the Arnold Schwarzenegger's Pizza Shop.

• 34:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, but not many people know that.

• 34:52Speaker 01

  I'm shocked.

• 34:54Speaker 02

  If you want something crazy like pineapple, I'll kill you.

• 34:57Speaker 01

  I recently brought that up to someone, and they were just like, "Arnold's Pizza Shop", and I was just like, "Sit down."

• 35:03Speaker 02

  Frank, you lived on that, whatever fucking website that was.

• 35:06Speaker 01

  Don't even pretend you don't remember funnyjunk.com.

• 35:08Speaker 02

  Funny Junk.

• 35:09Speaker 01

  Okay?

• 35:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:10Speaker 01

  There were some problematic ones on there too, like the...

• 35:12Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 35:13Speaker 01

  There were some ones that were not nice.

• 35:14Speaker 02

  Right.

• 35:15Speaker 01

  We know which one we're referencing.

• 35:17Speaker 02

  Are we referencing the one where someone works in a drive-thru?

• 35:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:20Speaker 02

  And they clearly have some sort of issue?

• 35:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:22Speaker 02

  And we're just exploring that?

• 35:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:25Speaker 02

  Yeah. Do you remember the Numa Numa video?

• 35:28Speaker 01

  Why was that so...

• 35:29Speaker 02

  What is that guy doing? This guy, he's just doing this.

• 35:31Speaker 01

  He did, I mean, I gotta say, incredible karaoke skills.

• 35:37Speaker 02

  A lip syncing, you mean?

• 35:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:38Speaker 01

  I mean, oh yeah, that's not karaoke.

• 35:40Speaker 02

  He wasn't singing.

• 35:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're right. I mean, he crushed that lip syncing.

• 35:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, he did a great job on that.

• 35:44Speaker 01

  Where is the Numa Numa guy? Can you look that up for me?

• 35:46Speaker 03

  You could try.

• 35:48Speaker 01

  Numa Numa guy.

• 35:50Speaker 02

  Man.

• 35:51Speaker 01

  Man. The Numa Numa guy.

• 35:53Speaker 02

  Numa Numa. Oh, he's on stage singing!

• 35:55Speaker 03

  He's in a band.

• 35:56Speaker 01

  Good for him!

• 35:56Speaker 02

  His name's Gary.

• 35:58Speaker 01

  Uh, is he, go to Wikipedia, that's always a trusted source.

• 36:01Speaker 02

  Where's he from? Norway or something?

• 36:02Speaker 01

  No, that looks like that is, uh...

• 36:04Speaker 02

  What do we think here?

• 36:06Speaker 01

  He's in movies?

• 36:08Speaker 03

  No, one movie.

• 36:09Speaker 01

  Oh, it's like a student film or something?

• 36:12Speaker 02

  Where's he from?

• 36:13Speaker 01

  Uh, Newgrounds. It was on newgrounds.com.

• 36:16Speaker 02

  The fuck is Newgrounds?

• 36:17Speaker 01

  You never remember Newgrounds? And you remember Newgrounds, right?

• 36:20Speaker 03

  I do, I do remember Newgrounds.

• 36:20Speaker 01

  Yeah. Just go to like where he is now. I don't care about all this stuff, like seeing like...

• 36:24Speaker 03

  I'll just type in his name.

• 36:26Speaker 01

  Just scroll to the bottom of that, it wouldn't tell you?

• 36:28Speaker 02

  We'll figure it out, yeah.

• 36:30Speaker 01

  I'll, I'll look.

• 36:30Speaker 02

  You look that up. But the Numa Numa guy, if he like went viral now, you probably become an internet celebrity and make a bunch of money, that's your career.

• 36:38Speaker 01

  And then start a coin and then take everyone's money and then disappear and people are thinking, where are you?

• 36:45Speaker 02

  I'll let everyone who's watching this know right now, if we create a, I'm, I'm giving you the heads up. If we create a meme coin, I will rug pull it. So if we create a meme coin, don't give us the money.

• 37:01Speaker 01

  At least you're being honest about-

• 37:03Speaker 02

  That's what I'm saying, I am going to rug pull it.

• 37:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:05Speaker 02

  And you will lose money, so do not give it.

• 37:07Speaker 01

  This is what is going to happen. If we, like, the coin will be called like BSMT.

• 37:13Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 37:14Speaker 01

  It'll be called Basement Coin.

• 37:15Speaker 02

  Right.

• 37:16Speaker 01

  Don't buy it.

• 37:17Speaker 02

  Don't.

• 37:17Speaker 01

  If we release it, things have gotten real tough here.

• 37:20Speaker 02

  But I'm rug pulling it. I'm rug pulling.

• 37:24Speaker 01

  And let us crash and burn. If it gets to a point where we release that coin, let us, like, you know, like, oh, man, like, things are not going well, let it go.

• 37:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:33Speaker 01

  Let it go right where it deserves to be.

• 37:35Speaker 02

  But I'm letting you know right now, the rug.

• 37:38Speaker 01

  Yeah? How much, do we know, we're obviously-

• 37:42Speaker 02

  I think millions.

• 37:43Speaker 01

  We're referencing Haley Hocktua Welch. Uh, and we're not accusing her of orchestrating anything, but the evidence doesn't look great.

• 37:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think that, uh, there's a-

• 37:55Speaker 01

  How much did they make off of that coin?

• 37:58Speaker 02

  Millions, I assume.

• 38:00Speaker 01

  Bro, she, like, I'm not even kidding, if it comes out like she does get like in trouble criminally, the movie about the July to January part of her life is going to be insane, dude.

• 38:14Speaker 02

  Movie is crazy, maybe on Netflix?

• 38:16Speaker 01

  Netflix doc?

• 38:17Speaker 02

  Maybe.

• 38:18Speaker 01

  But like-

• 38:19Speaker 02

  It's kind of crazy, though.

• 38:20Speaker 01

  Oh, you gotta do this. How much did they-

• 38:24Speaker 02

  It does say that her coin reached a market cap of around 500 million.

• 38:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I don't know what that- What?

• 38:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, but that doesn't mean that it's worth 500 million.

• 38:31Speaker 01

  A market cap, dude?

• 38:32Speaker 02

  I don't know what that means, though, to be honest. I don't know how much she like walked away with. I also don't even know what a rug pull is.

• 38:38Speaker 01

  I'm sorry, maybe, maybe we do do this. I mean-

• 38:41Speaker 02

  Well, I'm, I'm saying-

• 38:42Speaker 01

  Let's be very clear, it is a crime. We're, we-

• 38:45Speaker 02

  Yeah. I'm admitting to a crime that I may or may not commit in the future, I'm just letting you know that-

• 38:50Speaker 01

  No, that's literally how people get in trouble, don't do that, say you're not gonna do it.

• 38:55Speaker 02

  I'm not gonna create a meme coin.

• 38:56Speaker 01

  Okay, just wanna make sure that the lawyers watch this.

• 38:58Speaker 02

  I'll just go make pizzas before I did that.

• 39:00Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 39:01Speaker 02

  Well, I'm just letting everyone know, be smart. But if you, if you see me making a meme coin, it's not going to the moon.

• 39:09Speaker 00

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• 39:36Speaker 02

  It's getting a third of the way there and then I'm, ha! And I'm leaving.

• 39:40Speaker 01

  I mean, 500 million, that's, that's to the moon.

• 39:43Speaker 02

  I don't think that means it's worth 500 million.

• 39:46Speaker 01

  Bro, if, if, if, if it was, I'm pushing you to create a coin tomorrow.

• 39:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, well Frank, if I'm rug pulling, I'm, I'm pulling the wool as well. The rug's getting pulled.

• 39:59Speaker 01

  The wool?

• 39:59Speaker 02

  The wool over your eyes. You think I'm giving you $1? I'm rug pulling innocent people. So you're not getting 500 million.

• 40:07Speaker 01

  You're, why, why does?

• 40:08Speaker 02

  I'm getting 500 million and I'm running away.

• 40:10Speaker 01

  Is the rug made of wool? I don't get it.

• 40:12Speaker 02

  No, you're, a rug pull is what that's called.

• 40:14Speaker 01

  But why, why are there, why is there wool over me?

• 40:17Speaker 02

  Pulling the wool over your eyes. You've never heard that expression?

• 40:19Speaker 01

  No.

• 40:19Speaker 02

  Okay, well, welcome to adulthood and planet Earth, because that's an expression everyone's been using for years.

• 40:25Speaker 01

  Pulling the wool over someone's eyes? Uh, how many sheep? How many sheep are you talking to that you can just regu- like, that doesn't make sense. What does that mean?

• 40:32Speaker 02

  Frank, you know that exists. Pull the wool over your eyes, it's a phrase. It's means to fool you.

• 40:36Speaker 01

  Oh, okay, okay, no, no, no, no, no. It does sound familiar. To trick or deceive, okay. I'm sorry, I was confused, cuz you were talking rugs. I'm thinking you have rugs of wool.

• 40:44Speaker 02

  No, well, can you do that?

• 40:47Speaker 01

  You can make rugs of anything, human skin, wool.

• 40:49Speaker 02

  Human skin?

• 40:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:52Speaker 01

  You don't think so?

• 40:53Speaker 02

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• 40:57Speaker 01

  Really?

• 40:57Speaker 02

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• 42:22Speaker 02

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• 43:07Speaker 02

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• 43:35Speaker 02

  And, uh, you know, I, I think we'd be remiss if we didn't talk about the pilot. You know, we had talked right before we started recording, there was a pilot that like, got engaged or some, or proposed.

• 43:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, during the flight, the pilot came out into the main cabin, and proposed to his girlfriend.

• 43:54Speaker 02

  Why was she on the flight that he was flying?

• 43:56Speaker 01

  I don't know, I think it's like a horny thing, maybe, right? You know how people like to do like, I'm at your place of work and I'm here, you know, like they do stuff like that? No, am I crazy? Is Becca here or something? What are you talking about? I wish.

• 44:13Speaker 01

  I wish.

• 44:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, now that I'm thinking about it, that's kind of like, um,

• 44:18Speaker 01

  Like role playing a little bit, like, oh, wedding singer.

• 44:21Speaker 02

  Remember he like, he get, he's playing the guitar on a plane?

• 44:25Speaker 01

  I don't remember that part. I don't remember that part, or care for it. Um, no, yeah, he's so, I think it's, it's funny because like, I think the story came out and she said yes, but,

• 44:34Speaker 02

  Imagine she said no.

• 44:35Speaker 01

  Imagine, bro, imagine being on that flight.

• 44:38Speaker 02

  Wait, did he propose over the PA?

• 44:40Speaker 01

  No, he like walked out to her. Planes can like fly themselves, like now, there's like autopilot and shit like that, and there's two pilots.

• 44:46Speaker 02

  Now, bro, of cour-, for years. You're acting like it's 1901.

• 44:52Speaker 01

  I mean, I don't know, when, when did they, when did they bring out autopilot? When did they roll it out?

• 44:57Speaker 02

  I, I'm, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say the 70s.

• 45:01Speaker 01

  Seventies.

• 45:02Speaker 02

  Hundred percent.

• 45:03Speaker 01

  I'm saying nineties, brother.

• 45:04Speaker 02

  No way.

• 45:05Speaker 01

  Two thousand.

• 45:06Speaker 02

  They've been doing that forever.

• 45:07Speaker 01

  Really?

• 45:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, autopilot.

• 45:09Speaker 01

  Autopilot?

• 45:10Speaker 02

  You lock the steering wheel and you just go, baby.

• 45:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, but like, it's way smarter now.

• 45:15Speaker 02

  No, it's probably older, if anything.

• 45:17Speaker 01

  Nineteen?

• 45:18Speaker 02

  Nineteen tw- no, bro, that's-

• 45:19Speaker 01

  Come on now, you dumb idiot.

• 45:20Speaker 02

  That says nineteen twelve.

• 45:21Speaker 01

  Now, you almost- If, bro, if we've had that since nineteen twelve.

• 45:24Speaker 02

  Bro, what kind of question did you type in?

• 45:26Speaker 01

  What does it say?

• 45:27Speaker 02

  Just type in-

• 45:27Speaker 01

  When were planes able to automatically fly?

• 45:30Speaker 02

  Okay, okay.

• 45:33Speaker 02

  When was planes automatically flies?

• 45:37Speaker 01

  When was autopilot invented?

• 45:40Speaker 02

  Same answer.

• 45:41Speaker 01

  Was invented in nineteen twelve by the Sperry- The people that made my boots?

• 45:45Speaker 02

  I don't know why I'm- Sperry Corporation?

• 45:48Speaker 01

  Designed to reduce the pilot's workload? This doesn't make sense.

• 45:51Speaker 02

  You said the nineties.

• 45:53Speaker 01

  I mean, it is the-

• 45:53Speaker 02

  Nineteen twelve?

• 45:55Speaker 01

  That, what?

• 45:56Speaker 02

  Also, I made the joke of being like, this ain't nineteen oh one. Well, ten years later, they had it. An apology, maybe?

• 46:02Speaker 01

  No, fuck you.

• 46:03Speaker 02

  For what, you?

• 46:04Speaker 01

  You, you did type that like, an idiot, to be fair.

• 46:08Speaker 02

  Also, I just fired you back there for pulling up a picture of a naked mole rat.

• 46:12Speaker 01

  That's true.

• 46:13Speaker 02

  Saying that looked like me.

• 46:13Speaker 01

  That is right, you were, technically, you were-

• 46:15Speaker 02

  You're off the clock.

• 46:16Speaker 01

  You're off the clock. Wait, no, no, this can't be right. Like, alright, look up, like, now planes can fly by themselves, when did that happen?

• 46:25Speaker 02

  What?

• 46:26Speaker 01

  Is that, no, no, like, there's a, autopilot, like, it might like, lock the thing, but like, now, like, basically, they click a button and it follows a path. Like, when did, when did, uh-

• 46:37Speaker 02

  Autopilot? You're describing autopilot, I think. That's, might, that might be what you're doing here.

• 46:44Speaker 01

  When, when, when?

• 46:45Speaker 02

  And there's no other way to ask this question, we're gonna get the same page.

• 46:49Speaker 01

  Alright, type this.

• 46:50Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 46:50Speaker 01

  When did planes become as smart as they are?

• 46:56Speaker 02

  Yo Frank is AI's worst nightmare.

• 47:01Speaker 01

  Aircrafts are the 21st century. There we go.

• 47:04Speaker 02

  That's just a big white guy.

• 47:06Speaker 01

  This big ass white guy.

• 47:08Speaker 02

  We're not reading that. Frank, the answer is 1912. That's astounding to me.

• 47:11Speaker 01

  That's not, that doesn't make sense.

• 47:12Speaker 02

  But you know, think about it. Amelia Earhart, that was so long ago.

• 47:15Speaker 01

  When was that?

• 47:16Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 47:17Speaker 01

  When was Amelia Earhart?

• 47:19Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 47:19Speaker 01

  The 30s?

• 47:21Speaker 02

  Oh, it was. It was like 29 or something like that?

• 47:23Speaker 01

  That was the Great Depression.

• 47:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, so people were upset, but she was flying planes and that made her happy. Which is nice. You should find a hobby in the dark times.

• 47:30Speaker 01

  Oh, I have some bad news for the people that... Something happened on that plane that she took.

• 47:35Speaker 02

  Well, no, she had some good flights.

• 47:36Speaker 01

  She did, but then she had some one really not, one really not good one.

• 47:40Speaker 02

  Unfortunately, if you have one really bad flight, there's no more good ones.

• 47:44Speaker 01

  Let's not talk about this as we're about to fly to Vancouver. Please, God almighty.

• 47:48Speaker 02

  It's totally fine. But anyway, asking, like getting, like, hello? Proposing to your wife on a plane?

• 47:54Speaker 01

  Well, you're not proposing to your wife. You're proposing to your girlfriend or partner.

• 47:58Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 47:58Speaker 01

  You know?

• 47:59Speaker 02

  Technical Frank, here he is. But, but, Technical Frank?

• 48:02Speaker 01

  Not just technical, not just technical. That's just, it's a correction.

• 48:05Speaker 02

  Technical Frank. Um, one of the worst places to get engaged. What is the worst way to propose to your girlfriend?

• 48:14Speaker 01

  I mean, that's pretty bad because like, what if you're, what if the person being proposed to says no? This pilot needs to go fly this plane?

• 48:21Speaker 02

  I'm creating a clip, Frank. What is the worst way to get engaged? Like, what's the worst way to propose to your girlfriend?

• 48:28Speaker 01

  Ah, ooh. It's gotta be flash mob.

• 48:34Speaker 02

  That's a bad one.

• 48:34Speaker 01

  That's so bad, dude.

• 48:36Speaker 02

  Can we group together?

• 48:37Speaker 01

  I just hate collections of people dancing.

• 48:38Speaker 02

  I hate that too. Well, unless they're on a stage.

• 48:40Speaker 01

  Uh, but...

• 48:41Speaker 02

  But don't be on the floor.

• 48:42Speaker 01

  Yes. If you're on level ground that I am like, I can stand face to face with you and you're dancing, get the fuck out of here.

• 48:47Speaker 02

  Or you're on hardwood. Like, if you're like a Nick City dancer or something like, that's fine. But like, yo, you're in Grand Central Station and you're all dancing?

• 48:56Speaker 01

  Bro, if I walk, they, I got recruited to be in a, in a flash mob once and I respectfully declined.

• 49:02Speaker 02

  How do you get recu, was it like a cult?

• 49:04Speaker 01

  Someone reached out to me and says, "I want to do a flash mob. Do you want to be in it? We're going to make it go viral."

• 49:08Speaker 02

  Did it go viral?

• 49:09Speaker 01

  No, Joey.

• 49:11Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 49:11Speaker 01

  Of course not, because that was the thing that people said, just to like, get people excited in 2010.

• 49:16Speaker 02

  You know what?

• 49:17Speaker 01

  It was just like, "We're gonna make something and it's gonna, it has all the key components to go viral."

• 49:21Speaker 02

  So, would you have to show up to practice? Cause I'm assuming everyone has to learn the dance.

• 49:26Speaker 01

  You know, I, I, I said no, so I don't, I didn't go that far. But like, I remember it was like, in like, the cafeteria, like where people, like the food hall on campus.

• 49:36Speaker 02

  Oh my god, they wanted to do a flash mob in campus?

• 49:38Speaker 01

  And bro, they had a big stairwell coming down, so like, everyone could see them, like, it was, it was bad.

• 49:45Speaker 02

  So that everyone can clearly see the people that they don't wanna have sex with.

• 49:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:53Speaker 01

  Yes, absolutely.

• 49:54Speaker 02

  Flash mob is pretty bad, can you imagine it's like, "Will you marry me?"

• 49:59Speaker 01

  Me, me, me, me. I'll tell you this, if the song "Marry You" by Bruno Mars is involved at all.

• 50:05Speaker 02

  Pretty bad.

• 50:06Speaker 01

  Just say no.

• 50:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 50:07Speaker 01

  And if you're getting proposed to.

• 50:08Speaker 02

  What, Disney proposals are pretty bad.

• 50:11Speaker 01

  That would be bad.

• 50:12Speaker 02

  Like, "Oh, here's Mickey Mouse, just kidding, he's got the ring, like, what are we doing?"

• 50:15Speaker 01

  "I want you to make me the hu hu, hu hu, happiest boy ever, hu hu."

• 50:18Speaker 02

  Yeah. You're just trying to show off.

• 50:20Speaker 01

  Anytime, anytime, I can get it in there.

• 50:22Speaker 02

  Anytime I get it in there!

• 50:24Speaker 01

  No, yeah, like, just make it like, absolutely like, you know, like, "Here comes Goofy, what's in Goofy's hand?"

• 50:29Speaker 02

  Where did you propose?

• 50:31Speaker 01

  Uh, there was a little beach, uh, by where we lived.

• 50:34Speaker 02

  But not public, like, there wasn't people around, right?

• 50:36Speaker 01

  No, no, no, it was just myself, Becca and Miles.

• 50:38Speaker 02

  Cool.

• 50:39Speaker 01

  And there was a, a wild.

• 50:40Speaker 02

  Did you tell Miles?

• 50:41Speaker 01

  No, because he would've immediately, like.

• 50:44Speaker 02

  Told her?

• 50:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:45Speaker 02

  Also, you proposed to both of them?

• 50:47Speaker 01

  Of course, yeah, because that's, that's what my life was going to become, you know? Uh, but like.

• 50:52Speaker 02

  Was he shocked? Did he say yes?

• 50:54Speaker 01

  Uh, I didn't ask.

• 50:55Speaker 02

  Does he say yes?

• 50:56Speaker 01

  I didn't ask him, he was very excited.

• 50:58Speaker 02

  Okay, cool.

• 50:58Speaker 01

  You know, uh, but it was, it was, I was like, I had the ring, I had asked her father, and I looked outside and it was the craziest sunset I've ever seen in my, to this day, the craziest sunset I've ever seen in my entire life. Like, neon pink and purple and orange.

• 51:12Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 51:13Speaker 01

  And I, and I was just like, "Oh, fuck, like, this is, this, there's no better time." So I was like, "Why don't we go walk down to the little beach to see the sunset?"

• 51:22Speaker 02

  Oh, you slick devil.

• 51:23Speaker 01

  I was a slick little bitch.

• 51:25Speaker 02

  How, how much time, how long did you hold on to the ring?

• 51:28Speaker 01

  A couple of weeks, maybe a couple of days, but it wasn't very long.

• 51:32Speaker 02

  A couple of weeks and a couple of days are astronomical.

• 51:34Speaker 01

  Alright, maybe a couple of weeks, but um, it wasn't very, very long.

• 51:38Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 51:38Speaker 01

  You know, and I, cause I know like, once I have a gift, I wanna give it to that person.

• 51:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:43Speaker 01

  You know what I mean?

• 51:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:44Speaker 01

  So, uh, yeah, and then I, I, I, I asked, and she, uh, her response was, "What babe?" Miles made fun of her after that, like, he would always make fun of her for it.

• 51:55Speaker 02

  Was there any rules leading up to that, where she was like, "Yo, don't do it at a restaurant," or anything like that?

• 52:00Speaker 01

  Not that I remember, you know?

• 52:03Speaker 02

  I don't know that I would, like, a restaurant?

• 52:06Speaker 01

  I think, I think the public aspect of it puts a lot of pressure on people.

• 52:10Speaker 02

  I'll tell you this, if anyone's clapping, I am not comfortable.

• 52:15Speaker 01

  If I hear, "Oh my god, look," you know, like, "Oh my, look, hold on."

• 52:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, if you're like, in Central Park, and then getting down on the knee, and then everyone stops, and they're like, clapping, and there's way, I'd be like, "Oh, too much."

• 52:25Speaker 01

  Dude, sports games?

• 52:26Speaker 02

  Sports games.

• 52:27Speaker 01

  When they pull it up on the Jumbotron, and it's just like, "Happy birthday to Sue and Ben, and Leslie..."

• 52:35Speaker 02

  Ben's got, Ben's got a question, Leslie.

• 52:38Speaker 01

  "Michelle, will you marry me?" And it cuts to them, and, and everyone's like, "Ahh."

• 52:43Speaker 02

  And it's like, there's a guy in the corner, and he's got a popcorn and a hot dog, and he's like, "Ohhh."

• 52:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's like, "Oh shit, oh shit," and, and like, everyone's just like, "Look, look, look," and like, "What is it?" That is, that is, that seems, but honestly, like, it's individual, like, some people want the pomp and circumstance, like, they want it to be big and insane.

• 53:01Speaker 02

  No, it's so...

• 53:03Speaker 01

  Would you, have you ever thought about any ways of proposing?

• 53:07Speaker 02

  I mean, I would, just, I know, I've only thought about things that I would not do.

• 53:11Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 53:12Speaker 02

  Like, I've only thought like-

• 53:13Speaker 01

  So you're not going to Disney, I think we can confidently rule out a flash mob?

• 53:18Speaker 02

  We can confidently rule out, I saw a video recently of a guy filming a proposal, but he was like, not like, part of it. He was just like, seeing it happen, cause it was like, on the beach, and there was, like, a whole thing, and this like, rug, and, and the woman's there, and she's just sitting there, or standing there, and the guy has, it's him and two background dancers, and they're doing a choreographed dance. And I'm like, "I've never been more certain that a marriage is not gonna last."

• 53:45Speaker 01

  I'll be honest with you- Choreo- out of place choreography terrifies me. It makes my skin crawl.

• 53:52Speaker 02

  If the- if there's not stage lights on you.

• 53:54Speaker 01

  Like, why are you dancing so intensely in a park? You shouldn't be doing this.

• 53:59Speaker 02

  Too much, dude.

• 54:01Speaker 01

  And like, like, over, like, intense choreography, I just see it and I wince a li- a little bit.

• 54:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, and it's like, you can tell that this dude, like, took classes for this.

• 54:11Speaker 01

  Like, he- oh my god. Oh, he was in on the choreography with the dancers?

• 54:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:15Speaker 01

  That's bad.

• 54:16Speaker 02

  It's like, "Will you marry me?", and then backing up and being like-

• 54:18Speaker 01

  He's like, "Will you marry me right now?"

• 54:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, and it's like, bro, just say no, before he starts.

• 54:25Speaker 01

  You know why? I think, like, the current internet age has, like, ruined choreography for me. Like-

• 54:31Speaker 02

  Oh, like TikToks?

• 54:32Speaker 01

  TikToks, and like, you know, like-

• 54:35Speaker 02

  Even that kind of, like, came and went, though. Like, I think people are over the choreographed dance on TikTok.

• 54:39Speaker 01

  I think maybe it's just our algorithm. I- I have a feeling it's probably still very popular amongst a certain age range of people.

• 54:46Speaker 02

  It could be, but-

• 54:47Speaker 01

  Like, bro, people got famous off of that. Like, the, um- What's the girl that had the- the McDonald- not the McDonald's-

• 54:54Speaker 02

  Oh, Charli D'Amelio.

• 54:55Speaker 01

  Yes, the- the Dunkin' Donuts drink.

• 54:57Speaker 02

  She's the most followed person on the app, I think.

• 54:59Speaker 01

  There you go. She got famous doing those dances, right?

• 55:02Speaker 02

  Well, she- yeah, she's like a da- she's on Broadway, I think.

• 55:05Speaker 01

  Yes, yeah, I saw her at the Thanksgiving Day- not at there, I wasn't there, I saw it on TV. But like-

• 55:10Speaker 02

  Yo, what a psychotic thing to go to.

• 55:12Speaker 01

  A Thanksgiving Day Parade? And if you propose to someone at a parade-

• 55:16Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 55:17Speaker 01

  Like, if there's a parade float?

• 55:19Speaker 02

  Come on.

• 55:20Speaker 01

  If there's like a big inflatable, like, Elmo making its way down, and you're like, "Quick, I need to ask for your hand in marriage", you fucked up.

• 55:28Speaker 02

  I do wish that I lived in Manhattan on the path, so that I could just see, like, a giant, like-

• 55:35Speaker 01

  If you lived in Manhattan on that path, that's, like, it goes a very specific route, like, it's very expensive to live there, no?

• 55:42Speaker 02

  I thought it was just- I don't- I don't know where it goes, to be honest with you.

• 55:45Speaker 01

  Doesn't it go down Sixth Avenue?

• 55:48Speaker 02

  The fuck knows? But like, I mean, I don't know, people live there.

• 55:51Speaker 01

  I mean, that's crazy. If I- bro, if I- whoa-

• 55:54Speaker 02

  Imagine a big balloon pass your window, that's awesome.

• 55:57Speaker 01

  That'd be scary.

• 55:58Speaker 02

  It'd be like Godzilla.

• 56:00Speaker 01

  And is that not scary?

• 56:02Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 56:04Speaker 01

  Let me answer for you. It is scary.

• 56:07Speaker 02

  You know how some people have like a fear of gigantic things? I feel like I have the opposite.

• 56:12Speaker 01

  You have a ske- you have a fear of little, little baby, little babies?

• 56:15Speaker 02

  No, no, no. I mean like, I, I like a giant thing, but I'm not... I don't mean like, cause there's some people that are like, "Oh, I want a big giant woman to step on my head." That's not what I mean.

• 56:24Speaker 01

  I, I wasn't even going that route. I was going with big giant dongs.

• 56:27Speaker 02

  Oh, no, that's not what I mean either. I don't like big giant dongs.

• 56:31Speaker 01

  So you like little dongs?

• 56:32Speaker 02

  I don't like any dongs, dude. I like my own dong and that's where I draw the line at dong.

• 56:35Speaker 01

  The only dong you've ever liked?

• 56:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:37Speaker 01

  No other dongs in the world that you're just like, "This isn't the worst dong."

• 56:40Speaker 02

  Ding dong ditch, I like that.

• 56:41Speaker 01

  That is. Yo, I saw a tortoise dong recently. Have you seen this thing?

• 56:46Speaker 02

  A tortoise's penis?

• 56:47Speaker 01

  Yes, dude.

• 56:49Speaker 02

  They're like 800 years old. They gotta have crazy ones.

• 56:51Speaker 01

  Dude, this thing looks like an alien. Look up tortoise cock.

• 56:54Speaker 02

  You want me to look up tortoise penis?

• 56:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:57Speaker 02

  I mean, I...

• 56:57Speaker 01

  And search for videos. Yo, this thing-

• 56:59Speaker 02

  Don't search for videos.

• 57:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, no, no, no. That's where you saw- where I saw it and it was crazy, dude.

• 57:02Speaker 02

  What website were you on?

• 57:03Speaker 01

  I don't remember where it was, but I saw it.

• 57:06Speaker 02

  Tortoise? He's typing in, well, uh, here's the thing-

• 57:09Speaker 01

  First of all-

• 57:09Speaker 02

  We just found out that ant can't spell.

• 57:11Speaker 01

  Can't spell. And you guys went to the same high school?

• 57:14Speaker 02

  Well, this is not gonna be able to be shown if we're gonna put-

• 57:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, no, no. This is just for us.

• 57:19Speaker 02

  This is...

• 57:20Speaker 01

  Look up videos?

• 57:21Speaker 02

  Is that? Is that what you want? Is that his leg?

• 57:23Speaker 01

  No, well-

• 57:24Speaker 02

  Oh my god, is that his... That looks like a hoof.

• 57:26Speaker 01

  Dude, look up the video, dude.

• 57:28Speaker 02

  You really? Okay.

• 57:29Speaker 01

  Look up the video.

• 57:30Speaker 02

  What's happening in the video?

• 57:31Speaker 01

  It's just, it's doing its dong.

• 57:34Speaker 02

  What does that mean?

• 57:34Speaker 01

  It's do- being a dong, dude. It's scary.

• 57:37Speaker 02

  Don't, I don't wanna watch it.

• 57:39Speaker 01

  Oh!

• 57:40Speaker 02

  Nope. Get that off the screen.

• 57:42Speaker 01

  That's gross.

• 57:42Speaker 02

  Josh, don't put this in. Don't, don't put this in. First of all, that title said WTF exclamation point, wanking tortoise? What are you looking at?

• 57:52Speaker 01

  I didn't see that video. Just to make it very clear, that's not the video that I saw.

• 57:56Speaker 02

  Oh, you saw a different one of a tortoise's weener?

• 57:58Speaker 01

  A different, eh, different, eh, yeah.

• 58:00Speaker 02

  That is way bigger than I thought it was gonna be, by the way, just saying.

• 58:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, but- What other ways are bad to pro- you know, Disney is bad because like, you're both wearing Disney ears and like they're trying to do it with like the fucking castle in the background.

• 58:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:14Speaker 01

  And listen, if you gotten proposed in any of these ways and it's special to you, that's on you. We're just speaking for everyone else.

• 58:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm happy for you, but I-

• 58:22Speaker 01

  But I hate you.

• 58:23Speaker 02

  I would, I would say no to you is what I mean. So that, you ever see the video? I mean, this is very like progressive, I guess. But they were in Disney and it was a, a, a, um, I-

• 58:38Speaker 01

  Don't, don't, just say it, a, a person.

• 58:40Speaker 02

  Two people.

• 58:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:41Speaker 02

  Uh, you know, but they were proposing to each other.

• 58:46Speaker 01

  Good for them.

• 58:47Speaker 02

  I was like, what are the chances of that happen?

• 58:49Speaker 01

  Well, any, any proposal, there's, you imagine there's been, I shouldn't say any. The ones that are going to probably say yes, there's been conversation about like, what kind of ring do you want? What kind of, do you want a ring? What do you think about this? Like, bro, the people that just like say like, you know what? I'm just gonna propose. With no conversation, one, good on you. Two, you're an idiot.

• 59:10Speaker 02

  Dude, people who get a no, I, I, I would literally, if I'm on a knee and the woman that I'm asking to marry me says no, I'm just gonna stay there until I-

• 59:24Speaker 01

  Is the relationship over or do you like-

• 59:25Speaker 02

  The relationship is definitely over. One, two, I may not get up. I'm just probably gonna sit-

• 59:33Speaker 01

  Just gonna lie down right there?

• 59:35Speaker 02

  I'm just gonna sit, crisscross applesauce and just wait for the wind to take me.

• 59:38Speaker 01

  Smart, honestly.

• 59:39Speaker 02

  Clean that up.

• 59:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:41Speaker 02

  Don't worry, I'm on top of it. Uh, yeah, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not getting up. I'm just gonna be like, okay, I'm gonna stay down here. You can go. Uh, you're free to go. I'm gonna stay-

• 59:52Speaker 01

  Would you even ask why? Like, would you want, you wouldn't want any, cause honestly, if I had proposed to Becca and she said no, I'd be like, why? That would be the first thing out of my mouth, like huh?

• 1:00:03Speaker 02

  I would, uh-

• 1:00:05Speaker 01

  Or ma- yeah, definitely maybe the, what?

• 1:00:07Speaker 02

  You just did the most like anime, like huh? Like, you know? I, I, I would immediately think that I'm an idiot. Because I'd be like, I should have known this.

• 1:00:20Speaker 01

  You'd go into like full Dobby mode, like, Dobby's a bad elf! And like hit your head on the fucking floor. No!

• 1:00:29Speaker 02

  You know what I've been doing recently from Harry Potter? Just in my apartment, just going, "He's back! Voldemort's back!"

• 1:00:40Speaker 02

  I've just been firing those off randomly.

• 1:00:43Speaker 01

  It's been real fun in your apartment lately, huh?

• 1:00:45Speaker 02

  It has dude, I have a lot of fun. First of all, don't talk to me, the person who talks to himself more than anyone I've ever met.

• 1:00:50Speaker 01

  First of all, yes. Second of all, you know what I've been doing? You know what I've been doing?

• 1:00:55Speaker 02

  Tell me, I love these.

• 1:00:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, this is a good one. He's like, "Fame isn't everything."

• 1:01:01Speaker 02

  I take it back, that's alright. Well, you do that to your children, don't you?

• 1:01:05Speaker 01

  I do, I do this to Miles all the time. "He's back! Voldemort's back!" Yo, did you ever hear Ariana Grande's impression of fucking Emma?

• 1:01:15Speaker 02

  Watson.

• 1:01:15Speaker 01

  Watson. Where she's like, "Ron's been splinched."

• 1:01:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:19Speaker 01

  You know, she does a really good impression.

• 1:01:22Speaker 02

  I feel like we're going a little crazy.

• 1:01:23Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:01:24Speaker 02

  I think I'm more of like a... Like it's an impression.

• 1:01:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:28Speaker 02

  I wasn't like, "Oh my god, that sounds like Emma." Like, you know?

• 1:01:30Speaker 01

  I thought it was pretty good, but, okay. But, yeah. Proposing at theme parks, uh, uh, uh, uh, flash mobs, bad. Sports.

• 1:01:41Speaker 02

  Very bad.

• 1:01:42Speaker 01

  Bad. Any, any like choreographed dance?

• 1:01:45Speaker 02

  Horrific.

• 1:01:46Speaker 01

  That's just, that's just bad.

• 1:01:47Speaker 02

  I don't like that at all.

• 1:01:48Speaker 01

  Because then how do you dance your way out of a no?

• 1:01:50Speaker 02

  You know? You must know by the look in your girlfriend's eyes, as you're dancing and being like, "Oh fuck, she's not into this." "I've made a grave mistake." You know? Like you're like dancing and she's just like horrified and you're like-

• 1:02:08Speaker 01

  "What do you mean, we're not ready?"

• 1:02:10Speaker 02

  She's like, "I feel like she's not into this the way that I thought she was going to be."

• 1:02:15Speaker 01

  "I think we could work on it if that's something you want to do."

• 1:02:20Speaker 02

  "If you're not ready, say that, but it feels like a hard no."

• 1:02:23Speaker 01

  "Are you, is this the end of us?"

• 1:02:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, I feel like-

• 1:02:29Speaker 01

  Bro, I've seen in-

• 1:02:30Speaker 02

  You would have to know, bro.

• 1:02:31Speaker 01

  I've seen in movies, people just being like, proposing and they're like, "What? Why? When? We should've talked about this." Bro, that's-

• 1:02:37Speaker 02

  You know, bro.

• 1:02:38Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 1:02:39Speaker 02

  I think that if you propose and you get a no, you're an idiot. You have to know that.

• 1:02:44Speaker 01

  I mean, there are- no, there are people that are so stupid, that they just don't get it. You know?

• 1:02:51Speaker 02

  I just feel like you have to have some sort of inkling, like, "This isn't the time."

• 1:02:54Speaker 01

  If you have proposed to someone and they said, "No," I'm not calling you stupid, but there are people that are stupid.

• 1:02:59Speaker 02

  I am not saying stupid, I'm saying more, either you're purposefully being oblivious, or you're purposely ignoring signs.

• 1:03:06Speaker 01

  Well, that- that is what a lot of people, like, a lot of people find it easier to just live in the delusion and world of the relationship in their own head than the reality of what it is.

• 1:03:16Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:03:17Speaker 01

  That's what, I mean-

• 1:03:17Speaker 02

  Which is what you do, but not with your relationship, but with everything else, probably.

• 1:03:20Speaker 01

  What the fuck is that? What does that mean?

• 1:03:22Speaker 02

  Do you remember when we had that conversation where you're like, "If I'm driving, and my engine's making a lot of noise, but no light turns on?"

• 1:03:29Speaker 01

  I'm just kidding. That's right, that's right, because it's a car-

• 1:03:32Speaker 02

  That's kind of the same thing.

• 1:03:33Speaker 01

  It is, and-

• 1:03:34Speaker 02

  There's no issue until you find out there's an issue.

• 1:03:36Speaker 01

  Hey, man.

• 1:03:37Speaker 02

  That's what I'm saying.

• 1:03:38Speaker 01

  Dancing through life, skimming the surface, gliding where turf is smooth, life's more painless for the brainless, you know what I'm saying? Why think too hard, when it's so soothing? Dancing through life, no need to tough it. When you can slough it off, I- I do. Nothing matters, and knowing nothing matters. It's just life. So keep dancing through.

• 1:03:58Speaker 02

  I'm gonna have to hold up a Shazam, what's that from, High School Musical or some shit?

• 1:04:01Speaker 01

  That's from Wicked, bitch.

• 1:04:02Speaker 02

  Got it. That's not good, people are not gonna like that, I didn't know that.

• 1:04:07Speaker 02

  Can you-

• 1:04:08Speaker 01

  And you're the king of wicked!

• 1:04:09Speaker 02

  The worst ways to get engaged, can you zoom in on this a little bit, 'cause I can't see?

• 1:04:13Speaker 01

  Um- Where's- oh, are these other ones?

• 1:04:16Speaker 02

  I think during the recording. Can you zoom in a little bit? I can't hear, I could- I could-

• 1:04:21Speaker 01

  Oh, what about- what about people that do it-

• 1:04:23Speaker 02

  What about getting fired for the second time in one episode, how about that? Zoom in!

• 1:04:27Speaker 01

  What about people that do like, the proposal in the champagne glass, or like, in a cupcake, or a cookie, or something like that?

• 1:04:32Speaker 02

  If I have to dig, first of all, if I'm buying a ring for thousands of dollars-

• 1:04:36Speaker 01

  It's not going in-

• 1:04:37Speaker 02

  I'm not go- I'm not putting it in a champagne!

• 1:04:39Speaker 01

  It's going in someone's mouth.

• 1:04:40Speaker 02

  It's not go-

• 1:04:41Speaker 01

  It's not.

• 1:04:42Speaker 02

  I'm not running the risk of someone eating it accidentally. Like, "Oh, it's in your steak."

• 1:04:46Speaker 01

  How funny would that be?

• 1:04:48Speaker 02

  If they ate it, I'm sure that's happened.

• 1:04:49Speaker 01

  I mean, of course, I'm sure it's happened, bro. You're like, the person's like a dog, like you have to put the pill in the steak and then give it to their dog.

• 1:04:57Speaker 02

  Or like you put it in the champagne, it's like, now I have to fish this out?

• 1:05:01Speaker 01

  Of crap. Oh, of champagne. I thought you meant like if they swallow it.

• 1:05:05Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:05:06Speaker 01

  Bro, could you imagine you buy an engagement? Also, what is the amount you should spend on an engagement ring? Is it, is it still three months' salary? Or three months' pay?

• 1:05:14Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 1:05:15Speaker 01

  Because like-

• 1:05:15Speaker 02

  Just get a lab.

• 1:05:16Speaker 01

  Let's say, alright, you're obviously doing well for yourself, Mr. Durst. Roland just came out, you know? You just relieved, released your new album, Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water.

• 1:05:28Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:05:29Speaker 01

  Things are going well for you.

• 1:05:30Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:05:30Speaker 01

  What if in three months, you make a hundred thousand dollars?

• 1:05:34Speaker 02

  No, I'm not.

• 1:05:35Speaker 01

  You're gonna spend, if I'm spending a hundred thousand dollars on a ring?

• 1:05:39Speaker 02

  I'm not-

• 1:05:39Speaker 01

  It's not going near anyone's mouth.

• 1:05:43Speaker 02

  Right. But I also like, I mean, I think you have to weigh the options. Like, if you're gonna get like an egregious ring, you're making your wife a Target. Oh, okay. We were talking about eating cupcakes. This one says,

• 1:05:58Speaker 02

  "My best friend swears he proposed by pretending to find a ring while eating out his girlfriend and asking her whose ring it was. He has never wavered from this story."

• 1:06:06Speaker 01

  If, first of all, you could ask the person that he's allegedly did this to, did this actually happen?

• 1:06:12Speaker 02

  That's so fire because for-

• 1:06:14Speaker 01

  He'd just be like, "Oh."

• 1:06:17Speaker 01

  "What the hell is this?"

• 1:06:22Speaker 01

  What is that? Like, what, how do you?

• 1:06:25Speaker 02

  It's like, look behind your ear.

• 1:06:27Speaker 01

  And also ripping you out of the moment, like where's, the magic is gone.

• 1:06:31Speaker 02

  Not only that, but I'm such a hypochondriac that I could be convinced that something came out of me and then I'd be like, I'm going to the doctor. A fucking ring was in me.

• 1:06:39Speaker 01

  If someone ate you out and they found a ring, right?

• 1:06:40Speaker 02

  If someone was eating my butt and was like, I, I would think that someone like put a ring in my food. And I ate it. Like, that's what I would-

• 1:06:47Speaker 01

  And you shit it out?

• 1:06:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:49Speaker 01

  In their face?

• 1:06:49Speaker 02

  Yeah. I'd be scared dude.

• 1:06:52Speaker 01

  At the we- at the wedding you threw them?

• 1:06:56Speaker 02

  At the surprise wedding?

• 1:06:57Speaker 01

  Oh, that's another one. When people propose at someone else's wedding?

• 1:07:00Speaker 02

  That is so insane.

• 1:07:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, I would be a little, I'd be, I mean, listen. If someone came to me and said like, "I'm thinking about doing this," and I thought on it, I was like, "All right, go for it." That's different. But if they didn't tell anyone and they just did it?

• 1:07:13Speaker 02

  First of all, I'd be like, "You, I'm gonna hit you. Don't it, don't it. Get engaged at my wedding."

• 1:07:17Speaker 01

  I know, I'm saying, I would say no, but like, maybe it's like a real thoughtful moment where, you know.

• 1:07:24Speaker 02

  I mean, wait 24 hours, do it at the brunch. How about that?

• 1:07:27Speaker 01

  I mean, but some people, I'm just saying, some people do allow it to happen.

• 1:07:30Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:07:30Speaker 01

  But if they, if they just don't even say anything and they're like, "I'm just gonna do this."

• 1:07:34Speaker 02

  That's insane.

• 1:07:35Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 1:07:36Speaker 02

  What else have we got?

• 1:07:37Speaker 01

  Show her the ring, then put both hands behind your back, say, "Pick a hand now." Oops, wrong hand, no proposal this time? I, I, if someone ever does that.

• 1:07:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's, that's not good. That's way too long. I'm not reading that.

• 1:07:53Speaker 01

  What, what is wrong with people? They don't have, they don't have jobs writing fucking essays?

• 1:07:56Speaker 02

  This hunting where you're miles away from anybody else, that's a little tough.

• 1:08:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's a little scary. I don't wanna get engaged when there's guns around.

• 1:08:03Speaker 02

  Or out on a boat where there's no one around.

• 1:08:05Speaker 01

  Ooh, but I mean, if it's just you two and like, it's, like, you, you've talked about it, that's sweet. Like, then it's magical for your moment, but like.

• 1:08:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:12Speaker 01

  What if, then you, yeah, then you're putting the person in the position of like, if they say no, they might end up over.

• 1:08:17Speaker 02

  I think that everyone, my actual opinion is that everyone should get engaged in a way that is special as a couple. Don't do anything that's like, "Well, I like this, so we're gonna do it here." Like, find something that works for you, and if that's fucking Disney and you're both holding churros, and that's what it is, fine. Not for me.

• 1:08:34Speaker 01

  I, I, honestly, a proposal, like, the moment it's going to happen should be a surprise, but like, the way it's happening should be discussed. In my opinion. You know, like, at least.

• 1:08:46Speaker 02

  Get a, get an inkling, an idea.

• 1:08:49Speaker 01

  Listen, every couple, I don't say this, I, I'm not gonna say every couple. The way Rebecca and I did it, when we were approaching, like, that's the next logical step, is getting propos- you know, getting engaged, getting married, having a family. There's a lot of conversation that goes into it. Like, at least on our end, like, we were, we're open, so we were just like, rings, and we talked all that out. Then, the, like, then the little minute details, you could figure out, but like, the larger stuff, like, bro, if I was, could you imagine? Becca doesn't like, the idea of her getting on a stage would maybe scare her a little bit. Could you imagine if I proposed to her onstage at like, Radio City? Like, the pressure you're putting on that person-

• 1:09:31Speaker 02

  That's kind of bananas.

• 1:09:32Speaker 01

  Is crazy!

• 1:09:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, at that point, I would, if I'm, see, that's why I think that's a bad idea, because I would never want to put someone in a position where they feel like they can't say no, if they needed to say no.

• 1:09:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly!

• 1:09:47Speaker 02

  Because it'd be like, "Oh, so many people are watching." Like, I'd rather just like-

• 1:09:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:51Speaker 02

  Actually, now that I'm thinking about it- But-

• 1:09:54Speaker 01

  Well, we also did, we also did have someone propose at one of our shows, and we kind of toured news with him.

• 1:09:59Speaker 02

  Yes, and she said yes, thank god.

• 1:10:00Speaker 01

  She said yes, thank god, and also, the, he, I think he told us, like, in communication, like, we've discussed weddings and marriage as a, as like, "It's going to happen, she just doesn't know when."

• 1:10:09Speaker 02

  Got it.

• 1:10:09Speaker 01

  You know? But-

• 1:10:11Speaker 02

  Dude, can you imagine? First of all, selfishly, if she did say no, the show would've went probably a lot better.

• 1:10:18Speaker 01

  This is real. When we were planning it, we said like, "What if..." We like, stopped for a second, we were like, "Oh my god, what if she says no?" And then, me, you, and Greg at the same time went, "That would be hysterical."

• 1:10:30Speaker 02

  That would be awesome.

• 1:10:31Speaker 01

  That would be awesome!

• 1:10:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, it'd be not good for the dude, and I would feel really bad for him, but...

• 1:10:37Speaker 02

  That would be crazy.

• 1:10:38Speaker 01

  It'd be funny, because we'd be like, we still had the graphic ready to go, you know?

• 1:10:42Speaker 02

  Congrats.

• 1:10:42Speaker 01

  You know, like, she said yes-

• 1:10:44Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:10:45Speaker 01

  She didn't, and then like, the champagne was coming out.

• 1:10:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, we're like, "Oh, I got champagne." Man, that's tough.

• 1:10:51Speaker 01

  Good times.

• 1:10:52Speaker 02

  I would feel really bad.

• 1:10:53Speaker 01

  Really good times.

• 1:10:53Speaker 02

  This just says "at a funeral," bro. You're not getting engaged at a funeral, that's insane.

• 1:10:58Speaker 01

  Um...

• 1:10:59Speaker 02

  Dead body in the room, and you're gonna be like, "Hey, you wanna do this?" Till death-

• 1:11:03Speaker 01

  Do, do what's hot? I could see something romantic about it.

• 1:11:08Speaker 02

  About getting engaged at a funeral?

• 1:11:09Speaker 01

  Yeah. Like, if it's like, you know, me ma went down, and it's just like-

• 1:11:14Speaker 02

  When one, when one door closes-

• 1:11:15Speaker 01

  When one door closes, another one opens.

• 1:11:18Speaker 02

  I can't, I cry at everyone's funeral.

• 1:11:20Speaker 01

  Really? Everyone?

• 1:11:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, people I don't even know, like-

• 1:11:22Speaker 01

  Will you cry at mine?

• 1:11:25Speaker 01

  Bonasque.

• 1:11:26Speaker 02

  That's crazy.

• 1:11:27Speaker 01

  Well, I don't, like, will it be a point where, like, are you gonna do the old man route? Like, "We had a lot of good memories, and I have nothing to cry about because we have a lot."

• 1:11:34Speaker 02

  Well, I don't sound like that.

• 1:11:35Speaker 01

  Well, you might. Hopefully, we're gonna live very long.

• 1:11:38Speaker 02

  Right. You don't, your accent doesn't change.

• 1:11:40Speaker 01

  I mean, "Old bag, you know." And now you're so cold. "Hell yeah!"

• 1:11:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, right? Yeah, I don't know. Um, yeah, that'll be sad, dude.

• 1:11:50Speaker 01

  What's an old man voice? "I remember back in my day."

• 1:11:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:11:54Speaker 01

  You know?

• 1:11:54Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:11:55Speaker 01

  Are we doing the show at that age?

• 1:11:57Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:11:57Speaker 01

  Seventy years old?

• 1:11:58Speaker 02

  No, no, no.

• 1:11:58Speaker 01

  "Oh, come back to the basement, I'm Frank."

• 1:12:00Speaker 02

  Can you imagine we're seventy doing the show?

• 1:12:02Speaker 01

  I take off my oxygen mask. "Hey, Joe."

• 1:12:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't know, but...

• 1:12:07Speaker 01

  I mean, keep this, keep this fucking horse galloping until the crows come singing, you know?

• 1:12:11Speaker 02

  And it will be twenty-four then? That'd be crazy.

• 1:12:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:15Speaker 02

  Doesn't age?

• 1:12:15Speaker 01

  It will be singing over there. I'd be like, "I got fired nine times this month."

• 1:12:19Speaker 02

  I would never, I would never be able to, like, I've been at, like, our friends' grandparents, who I've never met, like, wakes, and I've been crying.

• 1:12:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, I get, I get choked up.

• 1:12:32Speaker 02

  Choked up is a better, like, I'm not, like, sobbing, but I'm definitely like, "Pip, pip, pip." Like, I have to, like, I have to breathe more to, like...

• 1:12:38Speaker 01

  "Up, mm, yeah."

• 1:12:40Speaker 02

  Fighting a cry in your face?

• 1:12:43Speaker 01

  It's one of those.

• 1:12:43Speaker 02

  You fight your face when you, like, don't wanna cry, and you're like...

• 1:12:46Speaker 01

  I, I, there's a weird part of me that likes the back-of-the-throat cries coming feeling.

• 1:12:50Speaker 02

  I do that when I can feel it.

• 1:12:51Speaker 01

  Like, it's back there, I was like, you know?

• 1:12:54Speaker 02

  I also like collecting tears in my eyes, so that when I blink, it just goes.

• 1:12:58Speaker 01

  Oh, you like to engineer your cries?

• 1:13:01Speaker 02

  Uh, only when I'm watching movies.

• 1:13:04Speaker 01

  Oh, just like, "Let it go, let it go, let it go, bang," and then, like, at the right time?

• 1:13:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, I'll stop myself from blinking, 'cause I know if I blink, it'll probably get, like, a tear, but like, a whack tear. Like, I'm trying to get a big fuck-

• 1:13:13Speaker 01

  I'm more, listen, I, I love crying. I'm more afraid of being accused of crying when I'm not, because it's like, "No, this doesn't deserve a cry right now." Like, we were watching something, Beck and I were recently watching something, and like, I, like, wiped my eye, 'cause I was tired and yawning, and it wasn't a cry tear. You think I, you think I'm not, I'm, I'm very comfortable to say if it was a cry tear.

• 1:13:32Speaker 02

  Clearly not. You just said you hate when people say, "I'm not crying, this doesn't deserve a cry."

• 1:13:36Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, when it's not a cry, I'll say it's not a cry.

• 1:13:39Speaker 02

  Why is that offend you so much? Toxic masculinity.

• 1:13:41Speaker 01

  No, that's not, bitch, my masculinity is so sweet and, and, and, and supple. It's not toxic at all. Drink it, and it'll be good for you.

• 1:13:48Speaker 02

  Ew.

• 1:13:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was actually kinda gross.

• 1:13:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, that was kinda disgusting.

• 1:13:51Speaker 01

  Mm.

• 1:13:52Speaker 02

  Just sounds like sweat.

• 1:13:54Speaker 02

  I haven't cried in a while.

• 1:13:55Speaker 01

  If masculinity were to taste like something, what would it taste like?

• 1:13:58Speaker 02

  Uh.

• 1:14:02Speaker 02

  Trees? Tires.

• 1:14:04Speaker 01

  Tires?

• 1:14:05Speaker 02

  Like toxic masculinity?

• 1:14:07Speaker 01

  To- I didn't say toxic.

• 1:14:08Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:14:09Speaker 01

  Masculinity, what does it taste like?

• 1:14:10Speaker 02

  Wood?

• 1:14:12Speaker 01

  I would say, yeah, it tastes like, like, uh, like-

• 1:14:14Speaker 02

  Wood.

• 1:14:14Speaker 01

  Wood, wood, like, the way that wood chips smell.

• 1:14:18Speaker 02

  Like sawdust?

• 1:14:19Speaker 01

  Sawdust, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:14:21Speaker 02

  If sawdust wouldn't kill me, I'd probably eat it.

• 1:14:25Speaker 01

  I don't think it will kill you.

• 1:14:26Speaker 02

  If you eat enough of it.

• 1:14:27Speaker 01

  I mean, you eat enough of anything, it'll kill you, but like, I think you can eat wood.

• 1:14:31Speaker 02

  That's deep, but I don't think you could eat wood.

• 1:14:34Speaker 01

  Can you eat wood?

• 1:14:35Speaker 02

  Do not look that up.

• 1:14:36Speaker 01

  Please look that up.

• 1:14:37Speaker 02

  But I don't know that you can eat wood.

• 1:14:38Speaker 01

  I think you could take a little, like, a spoonful of sawdust and be okay.

• 1:14:41Speaker 02

  You probably could, but it would be very dusty. It would be like doing the cinnamon challenge, but with wood.

• 1:14:45Speaker 01

  I mean-

• 1:14:46Speaker 02

  And also, I don't wanna shit wood. Cut my butt?

• 1:14:49Speaker 01

  What if it's really good for you?

• 1:14:51Speaker 02

  Eating wood?

• 1:14:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, what if it's really good?

• 1:14:53Speaker 02

  There's no question, it's not.

• 1:14:55Speaker 01

  Why not?

• 1:14:55Speaker 02

  Because we've run tests, we're humans.

• 1:14:57Speaker 01

  Are you sure?

• 1:14:58Speaker 02

  I'm positive of that.

• 1:15:00Speaker 01

  Tell me about those tests then, Ben.

• 1:15:01Speaker 02

  Frank, you don't think I've read all the clinical trials of eating wood?

• 1:15:04Speaker 01

  I do not think you have read all the clinical trials about eating wood.

• 1:15:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't think there's any, but-

• 1:15:09Speaker 01

  I mean, honestly, just look up can you eat wood?

• 1:15:12Speaker 02

  Have you ever put dirt in your mouth?

• 1:15:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:15:15Speaker 02

  Is it bad?

• 1:15:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:15:17Speaker 02

  It doesn't taste good?

• 1:15:18Speaker 01

  It tastes like dirt. It tastes like, just like, sediment and sand and-

• 1:15:22Speaker 02

  I've put rocks in my mouth when I was younger.

• 1:15:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, rocks taste good, I can't lie.

• 1:15:27Speaker 02

  Whoa, I don't know about good.

• 1:15:28Speaker 01

  No, you should not eat wood because it's difficult for humans to digest. Okay, so maybe we shouldn't eat wood.

• 1:15:34Speaker 02

  He needed Google to tell him that, he couldn't believe me. Rocks, though.

• 1:15:37Speaker 01

  Rocks, I love how rocks-

• 1:15:39Speaker 02

  Don't eat rocks.

• 1:15:39Speaker 01

  Don't eat them, but they look delicious.

• 1:15:41Speaker 02

  But when you're younger, and you put a rock in, like, a little lip, like a zen?

• 1:15:46Speaker 01

  Like a rock- You're packing lips of fucking pebbles?

• 1:15:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, I used to roll up roly-poly-olies, I have a rock in my face, like, yeah.

• 1:15:55Speaker 01

  The, the late 90s, man, what a good time to be alive.

• 1:15:57Speaker 02

  Sniffing markers, licking markers.

• 1:16:00Speaker 01

  And glue.

• 1:16:01Speaker 02

  I, when I was younger-

• 1:16:02Speaker 01

  You were just doing drugs for kids.

• 1:16:04Speaker 02

  Basically, yeah.

• 1:16:04Speaker 01

  You were doing kid drugs.

• 1:16:05Speaker 02

  I remember-

• 1:16:06Speaker 01

  Markers and glue.

• 1:16:07Speaker 02

  I remember being young and being in the bathroom and looking at myself in the mirror and holding out my tongue and, and taking an orange washable marker and drawing on my tongue.

• 1:16:15Speaker 01

  And?

• 1:16:17Speaker 02

  Uh, nothing.

• 1:16:18Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:16:18Speaker 02

  I mean, it had like a whack taste.

• 1:16:20Speaker 01

  You recently put paint on your mouth. Did you get any with that?

• 1:16:23Speaker 02

  I, I put it on my lips.

• 1:16:25Speaker 01

  Did you?

• 1:16:26Speaker 02

  Uh, I didn't like that. It wasn't a good feeling. It wasn't a good feeling, but I did it.

• 1:16:31Speaker 01

  And, and you regretted it?

• 1:16:34Speaker 02

  You live and you learn.

• 1:16:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:16:35Speaker 02

  The, the important thing is, is that we're learning and that's it.

• 1:16:38Speaker 01

  That's it.

• 1:16:39Speaker 02

  That's it.

• 1:16:40Speaker 01

  Live and learn.

• 1:16:42Speaker 02

  You're singing more songs than I don't know.

• 1:16:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's from Sonic Adventure 2.

• 1:16:48Speaker 02

  Well, we're gonna leave you with that, folks. Uh, Frank, where can they find you?

• 1:16:53Speaker 01

  Everywhere. Go find, go find the Patreon, patreon.com/thebasementyard. Find me at the Frank Alvarez all over the place. Find the Patreon, find the Basement Yard all over the place. Do I get another sign off?

• 1:17:02Speaker 02

  All over the place?

• 1:17:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, all, all social media.

• 1:17:05Speaker 02

  You guys go follow me at Joe Santagato. Go follow the show on TikTok and Instagram at The Basement Yard. And if you're coming to any upcoming shows, uh, the ones in Vancouver or the ones in, uh, the UK and Ireland, those are different things. Uh, which I've been told in my DMs, a little bit surprised by angry Irish people. Um, you guys can go to thebasementyard.com/submit. Uh, if you want to be a part of the show, submit your stuff. And, uh, we like to get a bunch of, um, responses so you can pick the best ones and have a good time, so.

• 1:17:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, I'm excited.

• 1:17:33Speaker 02

  So go ahead, hit them with your sign off.

• 1:17:34Speaker 01

  All right, all right, all right. Um, hey, it's warm down here. Come back sometime. Am I bad?

• 1:17:43Speaker 02

  I thought you were signing off.

• 1:17:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's it, that's it.

• 1:17:45Speaker 02

  So we're staying in the basement and they're going upstairs.

• 1:17:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, we'll be here in the ba- we'll be here in the basement. Come on down when you want to talk again.

• 1:17:53Speaker 01

  No?

• 1:17:54Speaker 02

  All right.

• 1:17:54Speaker 01

  No, we'll be, we'll be playing in the basement.

• 1:17:56Speaker 02

  Say, what did you say?

• 1:17:57Speaker 01

  We'll be playing in the basement. It'll be just us and you.

• 1:18:00Speaker 02

  We're thirty. Three. So that's crazy to say.

• 1:18:03Speaker 01

  I'm gonna get the right one and it's gonna hit like a ton of bricks, but until next time, see you later.

• 1:18:10Speaker 02

  See ya.

• 1:18:22Speaker 00

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