The Basement Yard
Original podcast
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Welcome back to the basement.
Welcome back to the basement yard. Frank, welcome back. I haven't seen you in like two weeks.
Yeah, isn't that kooky?
Yeah, well, kooky's not the word.
I'm leading 2025 with positive vibes. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
Are you asking me? I don't know what you're leading with.
I don't know, like, just like, just...
You want to be more lovey.
I want to, well, I am a very lovey person.
You want us to be less combative. I just said ush.
Yeah, I mean, ush, I guess too, but not combative, because I think people like the combat- combatiation.
They like when we combat.
They like our combatiation.
They like when we bat each other with cum. Well...
See, like that?
Yeah, that was... No, are we flipping roles here? Are you going full on like...
I didn't mean to do that.
Questionably...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I wasn't, no. First of all, it's not questionable. If you go on TikTok and anyone who makes an edit of us, it's like they find any time that we've touched each other.
Yeah.
Like, we're like touching...
I meant like, if I laugh and I like touch your hand, people are like, they zoom in on my hand touching your hand, they're like, they're in love. I'm like, bro.
Yeah, I'm gonna give, I'll give props. I think the one, the one girl that makes a lot of the, I don't know if they're a girl. Uh-oh, there we go. Cancel 2025.
Idiot. What was that?
Uh, who, who, who do you know?
My brain.
Frank, I gotta be honest, it's not a good, you're starting the year with hiccups? There he goes. I just eat wind, would you say?
Are you okay? What's the TikTok? Yeah, he's laughing with his tongue out now. You know what's funny? I've known Frank my entire life. He just started doing that like two years ago. You started sticking your tongue out when you left.
You you just you you get to a point in your life where you just you you gotta stick that tongue out, you know?
I don't I I don't know.
Yeah, you do.
Uh.
Buck.
Why'd you say buck?
My body is just, hold on, I'm gonna get rid of them. You ready?
Oh, yeah. We've seen this before. He takes breaths on breaths on breaths.
He ate that last one hard.
And now he's letting the air out slow. That's what you're hearing, if you're listening.
Better.
And they're gone.
I think her name is Maya.
Maya. I see that one too.
I think and it's like basically like it'll be like a cheesy song where it's like I always needed you, you, you, you. And it's like different moments of us like laughing at each other.
You know, or like hugging on stage or something like that.
You know, but.
It's fine.
Guys, 2025, hug your bros, dude.
Yeah, dude.
Hug, it's bro hugging season.
Can't just do another season.
Yeah, we can, bitch.
I guess we could.
Because we got dog sucking season.
But seasons end. You should brug your you should hug your bros for life.
Seasons end only.
I was gonna say you should brug your hose.
Brug your hose and hug your bros.
And hug your bros, that's it.
Don't forget to brug your hose.
2025, the year you brug your hose and hug your bros.
I kinda like that.
Me too.
What does brug stand for, though?
Athena, make a shirt. Shirt it! She's not, she lives in Arizona, I think.
She's.
She might be in the UK.
She's across the pond, as far as I know.
She's always moving.
Yeah, she's she's all over the place.
Um. I I think that this should be the year that people like stop this like, you know, like feeling uh uh weird about showing affection for their bros.
You know, make this the year of brugging your hose and hugging your bros.
That's it.
Mm-hmm. I agree. I'm in agreement. Uh, what were you just talking about?
I will say, I don't know why you showed up looking like Dexter Morgan, but it's kinda working.
See, this is last year energy that you're doing here.
No, no, no, no, bitch.
Yeah, you are.
No, no, no, bitch, because I love.
See, alright, alright, I'm back, I'm backpedaling a little bit. Some people, their resolutions go out the window in a week.
Frank is.
Immediately.
Well, you mistook me calling you Dexter Dexter Morgan for a bad thing. One of my favorite shows of all time.
I will say, this is a very Dexter Morgan shirt.
And people absolutely love Dexter Morgan. I mean, the way he like.
You love him. You had a poster of him in your college dorm room.
I did, not for gay reasons, for just because it's a good show.
Was it the one where he's covered in plastic wrap?
Or it was the one where it's like he's holding a fake hand.
Right.
And it's it's like doing it like, oh, he's just like us, but a killer.
But it's a killer. It's a dead hand.
Yeah, I mean, not a bad thing. I think that, you know.
I would never let a dead hand touch my face. It's disgusting.
Trying to think of where dead hands have touched.
Isn't it weird? So there's two examples of things, right?
Yeah, of things, just things.
No, no, yeah, of what I'm about to say.
You know, you shake someone's hand, you know, whatever. You love your grandma, you know, whatever the fuck. As soon as they're dead, it's like, ugh.
Yeah, well.
I would never touch a dead body unless it was like.
Go ahead.
I I realize that's a weird place to pause, but it's like if your loved one just died, it's like, you know, whatever, but like. You know, like three hours after a body dies, I'm kind of like, oh, that's gross.
So there's like a real, there's like a timeframe at which you're touching dead dead bodies.
Yeah, you have to be like very newly.
Freshly dead.
Fresh off the press dead.
Freshly dead or after the embalming fluid is kind of doing its thing.
No, but I don't even want to touch bodies then.
Really?
No, what do you want? I want to lean over into the casket and give it a hug?
I'll be honest with you. Every every wake that I have been to, I have to touch the body.
I know, but.
Just to make me feel something.
I know. Well, that's insane.
But I but you also like love to touch stuff. You touch the street. I am a very tactile person. I have explained this anytime one of my. I remember this, uh, you know, younger, my sister and I would like go to the mall or like she'd go shopping. We'd like hang out or whatever. And anytime she'd go clothing shopping, I would. She'd be like, do you like this? I would immediately touch it because so much of what I enjoy about life. Is right here, you know what I mean? Like, it could be a beautifully, like, a really nice shirt. And if it feels like shit.
I don't care for it.
Yeah, I don't like shirts that feel like construction paper.
Yeah, oh my god, listen, I'm all about saving the planet, but like recycled shirts? Fuck you.
Yeah, I'm all set on that.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, I'd rather the turtles go on that one.
Yeah, like, if you're gonna feel icky on my skin, I don't wanna save the planet.
I agree.
I don't want that.
Mm-hmm.
You know, and now what they're doing with like Snapple bottles and shit like that?
Yeah, now we're going...
Now we're going back.
Wait, with plastic? Isn't plastic worse than like tin or whatever the fuck that's in?
Yeah dude, people are just like, glass is bad for everything, like, save the turtles. And it's like, now everything's-
Wait, glass is bad? When is glass bad?
I guess glass is bad? I think it's also probably from the company's perspective, more expensive to create-
That's what it is.
Glass bottles.
And they're just like, this is a hundred percent recycled material, wh- wh- wh- where'd you get it from? That floating island of recycled non- nonsense? I'm on to you recycle thing.
I don't even know what plastic really is. I don't know how you make that.
It's a polymer.
What's that, a Pokemon? I don't know what that is, Frank.
Well, poly is like, it's like a bunch of materials, you know, like, put together.
Right, but I, but like, which?
Exactly.
Yeah, that's why I'm saying, I don't even know what plastic is. Like, I, I know that you know, it's plastic.
I will say, you know, there is some credit to be, cuz you know, all these old people that is like, I lived in the greatest time of the universe and you know, my time, the greatest generation. I will say, things were better when everything was made of metal and plastic. Ju- I mean, metal and glass, just saying. Just saying, things were better.
I love glass.
Glass is so cool, dude.
Glass is great.
I feel important when I have something in my hand made of glass.
Like, I feel like, you know, like a glass bottle of Coke?
Yes, those are cool.
Those are real cool.
Yeah. Did I tell you, I already told you the story about the guy who like showed me this place was like always ordering a glass Coke every time I saw him, I was like, this is so weird.
I, I think you are vastly underplaying how popular Coca-Cola is and like-
I'm not, it's the fucking biggest drink in the world.
Uh, there's a new study that came out that apparently every you know, can of Coke you have takes like twelve minutes off your life.
I haven't drank a lot of soda in my life.
Oh, I have, and I'll tell you this, we know someone that might be dead in a week from the amount of Coca-Cola they have.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And his name starts with A and it ends with Ahmed.
Yeah, med, med's going down if that's true.
Just, you know, bring, bring back glass.
I'd like some glass.
I also like fucking doing that, you know what I mean?
Mmm.
What's your favorite way to drink a beer? Draft, can, glass, funneled.
Draft?
Rank those. Draft, can, glass. You don't need to put funneled in there because that's not a real way.
Draft is.
Or keg, keg, keg.
Certainly lasts keg. Uh, keg is certainly lasts. I would say...
I know, I know what my answers are. Easily.
I thi- I think that mine is, is, is glass, can, draft, keg. I don't love draft.
I do like draft.
But it's so, it's so big.
I was gonna say glass, draft, can, keg lasts for me.
I don't mind a can because you kinda like, you can do this.
I don't know what that is.
Like you can kinda move around and talk a little bit.
How are you talking? How are you talking like you're firing off a shotgun?
No, like sometimes I get really into a story and I gotta move a little bit, you know what I mean? Or it's like, it's just nice to stand there like, yay, you know?
Uh, uh, uh, you can't do that with a bottle? If anything, you could do it more with a bottle than a can.
A bottle's first.
Uh, that's what I'm saying. But you said I like cans because I can just shove them around.
More than a draft because I kinda have to balance that.
That is true, but most of the time when you're having a draft, you're at like a bar or something, you can put it down, tell your story, go like this.
There's also not a lot of beers that are like on draft that are really good. It's like light beers and like some fucking bullshit.
Yeah, I mean.
I went to the dive-iest bar I've ever been to this past weekend.
Let me tell you, it smelled like people died in that bitch.
Well, I'll tell you this. You kinda liked it.
Why? What are you, gaslighting me into having an opinion? What was that?
You liked it.
You did like it. No, I mean, I didn't, I didn't. I was like, it's, because it smelled like a basement, but we were above ground.
But there's something that, that, that's actually probably the black mold coursing through your lungs right now.
100% there's black mold.
I, I.
There was a hole in the ceiling. Unexplainable.
Asbestos, that's what that probably was.
No, I don't know if you know what asbestos is.
Yeah. It doesn't make holes.
I know, but it was probably in the hole.
Oh, it was probably in, it was probably in that hole.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You know?
It was probably filled with that.
Yeah. I'm just, I, I think... A dive bar is such a, first of all, you live in Brooklyn now, people are trying to make dive bars. Second of all, there is something so heartwarming about it because it's just like, it's a relic of the past. Like, pre-corporatization of everything. It was just like a little mom and pop place that was owned by an old guy that wore a newsy hat. And anytime you walked in, he's cleaning the glasses. He's like, "What do you want, hon?"
Yeah, and he makes inappropriate comments at women. See, that's the kind of bar you want to go to.
Exactly, yeah.
You want a bar?
I went to a bar one time where it was called like Jerry's. I walked in, the guy's like, "You guys aren't from here." And I was like, "What's your name?" "Jerry." "He's Jerry."
"He's Jerry."
"You met Jerry." "That's what I'm talking about, dude."
Love that.
This is gonna sound so fucking insane, but one of my favorite like places, because during college, we'd go out. House parties, there was like, kinda like, up, not upscale, like, half-bar, half-clubs, but like...
Okay.
My, one of my favorite places, there were two bars in West Haven. One was called Spectators, AKA Specs.
That sounds like a voyeurism bar.
It basically was. The other one was called The Brick. And they were the dive-iest of dive bars, but there's just such a, like, a comfort and camaraderie in that. Like, you walk in, and they're just like, "Oh, yee-hee!" Cheers. We have lost, Cheers doesn't exist anymore.
Haven't even seen a frame of that show.
Neither have I, but I know what it's about.
It's about a bar.
Where everyone knows your name.
Why do you think that show is so timeless?
No, there's only been one bartender in my entire life that has ever, like, remembered my name.
And was it the Irish guy from, uh, fucking, what's it called?
Joe's Garage.
Joe's Garage?
No.
What was his name, like Cormac?
It was, it was, it was something, oh, it was like a, yeah, it was something like that.
Like McLernan?
Yeah, it was mad Irish. It could have been Connor, to be honest.
It might have, yeah.
It could have been MacIntosh, he did have red hair. Uh, but, no.
Red Delicious.
It was the dude...
I'm just naming apples.
His name is not Red Delicious, that's what I know. Uh, no, it was the bartender at McCann's.
Oh yeah.
His name was Richie.
But that's what I'm talking about, like a nice dive bar and that place is gone now.
I know.
You know, now it's like a fucking like salon or some stupid shit.
No, it's a, it's a wine bar, I think.
Also stupid.
I went and it was pretty cool, but.
Okay, but also stupid.
Yeah, yeah.
But like I went to these places like Specs and the Brick and you'd go and they'd be like, what do you want? I'll be like, whatever you got on draft. You'd get a dollar draft beer. And I remember this for a fact. I went in October and they still had green beer from St. Patrick's Day.
That's insane.
Yeah, but it was home.
Yeah, I mean, there is something, you're right. Like when you go to a, when I go to a dive bar, I want it to not be good in a way. Like I wanna get my drink and like I want the beer taste good, but I want there to be a spider in it.
Well, here's the thing is that what a lot of people.
What, what a lot of people are not understanding in today's society where it's like, oh, it's like a small hole in the wall restaurant like. What we are missing out on now.
Is the actual hole in the wall.
Yes, and everything is too polished.
Like there was a certain amount of just dingy, grungy.
Yes.
Dirtiness.
That made things feel more human like.
And now when you go into a dive bar, they have forty dollar cocktails.
Can't have that.
And a fucking toilet gin that is made by a Norwegian immigrant. That is too expensive.
I don't know what a toilet gin is.
Bathtub gin, excuse me.
Toilet gin, toilet wine, bathtub gin.
That's bad funny.
You know what I'm saying though?
Um, what's toilet wine? Is that prison?
It's a real thing. Toilet wine is a real thing and so is bathtub gin.
Well, I don't, not familiar with either of those. Uh, I will say though, I, I agree with you because this was like a real one. This was upstate, you know? They had a giant beer list. So I go up and I'm sitting at the bar and I'm talking to the bartender and I'm like, oh, uh, can I just get this? And he goes.
Looks to the sides of, on the ground by the way. It wasn't like the taps, it wasn't the fridge behind him. He looks on the ground, he's like, "I don't think we have that anymore." I'm like, "Oh, I don't have it." So I, I did three beers that they didn't have.
Not a single one.
And the second one, he was like, "Uh, Jess, do we have that?" We just got rid of the last one.
Ordered a beer, the one that he did have. He's like, "Got the last one," brings it out to me, "One." When someone says that, it's not gonna be good, okay?
It's the last one.
You know why they call it bottom of the barrel, right?
Yeah. Handing me it, it looked like he slammed it against his head. There was a giant dent in like the top of it. I don't even know if I can open this, chief. What are we doing?
But, but I drank it.
But you drank it and you enjoyed it. That is what is so wrong with society.
Here, you know what? I often reintroduce trends. We've often spoke about giving me credit for reintroducing Hawaiian shirts. The, the re-establishment of, uh, Red Lobster. A lot of people understand the power of words on this show. So, 2025 is gonna be the year we get dirty.
Dirty and stinky.
Dirty and stinky again, because, listen. Hey, big Dems, you're watching, right? We're getting political, bitch.
Who? Oh, Democrats.
Democrats, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're speaking to the Democrats.
To all of them.
Got it, got it.
The libs, the Dems, everyone in between.
You know why, you know why you lost? Because you're appealing to not the real Americans in this country, alright?
Oh, say, can you see?
You have lost your way.
You're singing?
Shut up, shut up. You have lost your way.
Oh, it's background music is what you're doing.
Yes, yeah, yeah. Do you mind doing it for me?
Um, nope.
Please.
You're supposed to talk.
Oh, sorry. You have lost your way. This country was built off of the dirty grimy greasy hands of those that have come over and sought asylum. So guess what, America? Guess what, okay? Guess what, big Dems? I know you're listening, Bernie.
Can you imagine that if Bernie Sanders listened to this show?
Make this year, let's get back to our roots. Let's be a little grimy. I want to see someone hand me a beer like this.
I want to see someone wipe their mouth with a cup and then fill it up with water and ask me to drink from it. Let's get back to our roots.
What the hell are you talking about?
Us as a society, we feel we need to be too clean, cut and prim and proper. Let's get back to being dirty, grimy and grungy. And that's when we re-establish America.
That, I, I'm not gonna, I'm being serious when I say this. Eight percent of that made sense. Eight.
I think most of it did, honestly.
I, I, I don't, I don't think that.
But...
You think the election was won and lost with the amount of like, that we need to be at dive bars more, that's what you're saying?
Yup, yes, absolutely.
The dive bars need to be really divey.
I imagine if you ask people that voted a very specific way during this last election, if they want more dive bars, bring it back to, you know, to old, old, old, you know, screaming, screaming Steve down the block, give him his establishment back, they'll say, "Yeah."
Here's one thing that I will say I'm cool with bringing back. I think that we need to have more saloon doors.
Uh huh.
I'd like to kick open some saloon doors.
Yeah, we've lost the ability to do that with like, and people turn around and like anytime, it should be a-
You walk through a saloon doors, you got, people gotta look at you.
Anytime, it should be a law. Bars need to have saloon doors.
And it's like a, you know, like remember that guy that was screaming, the, the white guy that was screaming questionably racist Japanese at that restaurant we went to, anytime someone walked in?
Oh, yep.
He was screaming actual stuff, but-
He wasn't, he wasn't screaming racist remarks.
Yeah, no, he would, but he-
He was saying, "Welcome," I think.
Yeah, but also, it was a Japanese restaurant without a single Japanese person working there.
It should be a rule that anytime someone walks in and one just does one of these.
I think they do.
Look back, you know, no?
Dive bars though, if you go to places where there's not a lot of people, everyone looks at you. I don't know if I love that.
I don't, but that's because of who we are.
What is that? You like attention, but you're like, "When I walk into a room, nobody look at me."
Pink Pantheress here. Coach and Spotify are teaming up to bring music and style together, and they want you to be part of it. Grab your friends and head to the Tabby Tour, hitting cities around the country with live performances from special artists, exclusive experiences, and personalized products. And discover custom playlists on Spotify, booked just for you based on who you are and how you listen. Live your story with Coach. Learn more at coach.com.
You know, I think that's the complex in the world that we live in, having made Frank, you have, you have referenced society in the world that we live in 400 times, and I'm done, I'm sick of it already. It's 2025, Joey. I know, I'm trying to be more positive. Stop talking for society!
I, listen, we are a mouth for society. Society's asked us to be their mouths. Okay?
We, we, we have a responsibility on this platform. This is the year, Joey, where we, we start shutting mouths and opening mouths.
This is what, what? You know? This is why I hate New Years. Okay? Resolutions, and it's like, this is what this year is gonna be about. You're gonna forget this. You may have already forgotten it, right now.
I'll be honest with you, most of what I say on this show, immediately out the window, the second I walk through that door.
Right. That just goes to show how much thought goes into the things that we say on this show.
But, it is the new year. Thank you, we, Christmas was here, we exchanged gifts.
We exchanged, we talked about it, where we exchanged gifts in the parking lot here, which looked very not safe.
Yeah, it was, it was a questionable drug deal.
I did make a grave mistake when giving Frank gifts for him and his children and his wife.
Uh, and, uh, Miles, the oldest one, which is the one that you shouldn't mess up, because he knows what's going on.
He gets it.
Uh, I got him a miniature hockey net, because he's into hockey now, and he's a Devils fan.
Ugh, I, I, trust me, it's been, it's been a topic of contention in the house.
Uh, but it was like branded as like the New Jersey Devils, and there's like two little sticks, so, you know, Frankie can get on his knees and they play hockey in the basement, or something like that, you know what I mean? Uh, and I...
Wrapped it. Well, I took some stuff out of the box because I was like gonna put it in a bag, but then the the box was like this big, so it didn't fit in the bag. This is a very long-winded explanation here, uh, but I took some stuff out of the bag, forgot about it, wrapped the box, then gave him the box, and on Christmas morning, I think.
No, actually, uh, Christmas Eve morning.
Christmas Eve morning, uh, Miles opened it up and it was just the pipes. And it was missing the sticks, the balls, the net, and the the part that says New Jersey Devils. He literally opened up a box from old Uncle Joey that was white pipes. And Frankie didn't know what I got him either, so Frankie, I'm imagining, when I got home, I was like, oh shit. Everything that makes this a gift, I still have.
You still had it, yeah.
So I opened the box, or or I'm thinking, I'm like, they just opened up a bunch of white pipes.
Yeah, yeah. Well, it's weird because when kids get to a certain age, like Christmas is, you make it as magical for your kids, but it can be often overwhelming. Like, it is like.
Lot of gifts.
Lot of gifts. Kids wake up at the crack of dawn and like you just start bombarding them with shit.
Do you guys go in order? Like, everyone opens their?
No, we try to like one at a time it, you know, but.
But it's not a free-for-all is what I'm saying.
No, correct. It's not a free-for-all because we want to see the kids, you know, open their gifts from Santa and stuff like that. But it's it's overwhelming, so like at a certain age, and you'll see this when you have kids, like you kinda need to like train them when opening gifts from loved ones, because like, kids are very honest, and they'll open something and they'll go like, oh, I don't, you know, like, they'll say, like, there have been times in the past, maybe not with Miles, but I've seen other kids being like, opening something, just being like, oh, okay.
Whack.
You know, basically.
So like, Miles is really empathetic, and he's really good at being like, even if in the moment he's not excited about it, he's like, wow, this is awesome.
I may have stumped him with pipes, though.
He opened that, and like.
I was laughing so hard.
He was just like, uh, whoa, um, and like, you know, like, I, the parent in me, like Beck and I are sitting there, we're just like, oh, what is that? Like, oh, this, could that be, you know, and like,
it's no gift.
It's just white,
just pipes.
indiscriminate PVC pipes.
There's, yeah, yeah.
It's literally just PVC. And we're just like, oh, okay, you know, and then,
yeah.
we're like, and I didn't, I didn't, cause you had texted me laughing about this, like, I didn't wanna reach out to you and be like,
what the fuck did you get?
What the hell is this? Because it comes off as insensitive, you know what I mean? Like, you're not gonna be the one to get a gift and just be like, hey, by the way, what the fuck was that?
So like, we just like, we're just like, oh, okay, we just like, let it do its thing, and then you texted me.
No, the best part about this is that,
you're trying to do a nice thing, so when he was opening it, Frankie was taking pictures, but Frankie didn't send me those pictures. He, he sent them to me after I was like, dude, I fucked up and I didn't put all this shit in there, and then he sent me the pictures.
He sent you the pictures of the girls opening their gifts?
No, he sent me a picture of Miles opening my gift, but he had just started opening it, and I was thinking about this after the fact. I was like, you probably didn't send that to me, cause you were so confused that I gave your son pipes.
Yeah, he was, he was a little confused.
Like, I don't, I just,
He was confused, I just, you know, like, again, like, you want,
That's so funny.
It was a very, it was very funny.
Oh, pipes.
It was actually, you know, like, Joey's being honest when he said we hadn't seen each other since the day before, so the 23rd.
And now, the day we're recording, it's after New Year, so, almost two weeks.
Um, but it was an adventurous break, I did almost, I, I told you this right before we started recording, I did almost pass out in the shower.
Hold that thought, we have sponsors, we will find out what happens to you in the shower, right after this. Uh, this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, how you doing, some therapy for the folks. Uh, if you would like to dip your toe into the world of therapy, you can do so via BetterHelp, okay? BetterHelp is online therapy, best part about it, customizable, okay? Also, more affordable than in-person therapy, so it's, It's nice there, but it's customizable. You can go once a week, or once every other week, or once a month, or whatever you are comfortable with. You can do talk on the phone, FaceTime, text, whatever you want. They make it very easy to connect you with a therapist. It just takes like around 48 hours. Also make it very easy to switch from therapist to therapist so that you can find the right fit for you and start your beautiful journey of therapy.
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And you know what you can do if you have a little bit more money in your pocket and you're feeling generous? Why don't you support the Patreon, patreon.com/thebasementyard. I tell you guys about it every single week and I'm very appreciative that you guys have helped us amass almost 33,000 patrons. Thank you guys so much. It has been an incredible ride and 2025 is here and we are excited and gearing up to see what the next phase of Patreon looks like. So go over to patreon.com, sign up today for that first tier. You get these weekly episodes, one week in advance, seven whole days in advance, one week in advance. And then that next tier, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday morning. That's right. The sun may rise, the sun may set, and the Basement Yard will be there for the entire time. On Mondays and Fridays at least. So go check it out.
Thank you so much for all of our, to all of our patrons and you know, if you're unable to, we still appreciate the love and support anyways. So patreon.com/thebasementyard. We're excited for a real fun year. This is the year, Joey, we've spoken about openly, we've gotten a new studio, so this may be the last episode, we're in this one. You never know, you never know. I don't know. Do you know?
It's just about, I think.
Okay, alright, so go check it out, patreon.com/thebasementyard. Back to you.
Well, back to you. You said you were gonna pass out. What'd you say?
Back to you. You don't remember what I said? Back to you.
Back to you.
Don't, you know?
You don't like pointing.
You know what? Point away, babe. 2025, you can point at me.
That one felt... When you twist a point...
That felt a little mudblood.
This is so much worse than that. This, actually, which is worse? This. This is kind of bad.
That's like, that person. That's like, get that person. Like, the minute, the minute it turns, it's just like, get him!
Yeah, it's like, you're a person and it's like, now you're a target.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The, you know, turning it makes it like, yeah.
Oh, dude.
It's crazy. Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy. We're starting off this year hot.
Hot, steaming.
But, speaking of steaming, I was in the shower.
Mmm, you like it real hot in the shower, don't you?
I kinda do.
You know, that's probably why my skin is so dry.
Why? Cause you have really hot water?
Yeah, baby. Look, I'm a little dry right now.
I know. Here we go.
What?
I thought you were gonna lick your hands like a cat.
No, no, no, they're not that dry right now. Actually, this one. Um, I, so.
Mm-hmm. Yep, I know.
So, uh, but I'm in the shower and I was, like, I guess on TikTok or something, I saw that guy that I always talk about that annoys me.
Hmm.
Yep.
You're in the shower on TikTok?
No, no, no, no. Before the shower.
Got it.
I saw that guy on TikTok that's just like, "The water is a putrid zero degrees today and it's minus three outside. We're gonna..." You know, that guy that takes fucking cold, cold plunges all the time.
Cold plunges every day, yeah.
Fuck him. Also good for him. But then I was thinking about, as I do in the shower, if I were to verbally berate someone that would take cold showers, which I have gotten very close before, because there's a family member who, like, tried to, like, push me toward cold showers once. And then I was just like, I kinda like started hyping myself up.
And I was like, wait, no, I could do this if I wanted to, but I don't want to.
You don't want to because someone's telling you to do it.
Basically.
Yeah. Nope. Not basically.
Yes. Okay.
Yes, is the answer. But I was getting to the point, like, how many, and honestly, be honest with yourself, how many times have you just put yourself in the mindset of just like, "I have no reason to do something, but like my own determination wants to see if I can do it, so I'm gonna do it."
All the time, I think.
That was what it was. It's just like, I, I'm not gonna be one of those cold shower people, but like, I could do this if I wanted to.
So I turned the shower, at the end of my shower, I was like, I'm gonna count in my head.
How long were you planning to do the cold shower?
Until I couldn't take it anymore.
I was like, I'm just gonna count in my head and turn the water cold and see what happens.
And you were in a steaming hot?
Yeah. I, this is not an exaggeration. I,
I started hyperventilating and almost passed out. Could you have imagined if I passed out face down in a cold shower? Ass up.
Frank.
Could you imagine?
I, I, I'm not kidding.
This is gonna sound fucked up.
I'm ready for it.
I wish that happened.
How funny would it be? If that happened? If you were like,
shower and she found me.
Your asshole. Open. Can you imagine she had to find you with your bunghole wide open? Yeah, that would, well, first of all, I don't know how you think I shower. I don't shower with my asshole agape.
No, I, I know that, but I'm saying like, you just go down. So now you're just kind of like, tutted up.
I, I have openly thought about how bad it would be because Becca is, without exaggeration, half of my size.
So like, she can't get you out of there.
Just imagine.
Yeah, no.
You know, like.
She's gonna have to call someone. Maybe she could put a, like a little towel over.
Here's the thing. It would be bad if, Becca found me. But I imagine that she would have to call her father, my father-in-law, to rescue me.
Bro.
That's way worse than Becca.
Yep. First of all, I'm hoping she would call 911 before she would call her dad. Let a fireman or a paramedic handle this.
But also bad, dude.
Yeah, I mean, at least like they've seen a bunch of butts in the shower.
I don't need to add something to that one.
And now I love my butt.
But I don't want, like, I feel like a passed-out butt wouldn't look as good as like a well-lived, living butt.
Let's also not forget the space between. Which is a great song by, uh, Dave Mann. The space between. I was talking about that.
I forgot that song existed.
It's such a good song.
That's all I know.
Yeah, I, I think that's all their songs though.
The space between.
Oh, I can't hide. Hope to keep safe from the pain.
That's a great song.
I don't remember.
I'm gonna listen to that shit as soon as I get in the car.
You might have to.
Um, but.
So you almost went down.
I, yo, legit, like, I shut the water off, by the way. Five seconds.
It took you five seconds?
Five seconds, I went, what? And I felt my heart rate and I was just like, yo, I'm gonna go down. And I just shut the, I shut the water off as quick as I could.
Did you sit down? Like, yo, let me just?
I stayed like breathing, like, like, like.
So do you have a newfound respect for people who cold plunge?
No, they're still stupid to me. They're still dumb to me.
I don't know.
No, because like, I've heard it all. I've heard the, oh, like the brown fat, you know, and all that shit like, you know, you know what I'm talking about.
Not only have I, I, I still think they're dumb. I probably have less respect for them.
But I secretly have a lot of respect for them.
I can tell.
That's what, that's what the, the joke is here.
The joke.
Uh, yeah, I've done it before and almost passed out. Uh, the last time I went to the bath house, they have a freezing cold plunge. Like, like a pool. And I was like, oh, let me try, cause I had never done a cold plunge before. That was the only time in my life that I've done it. And I got in like up to here and I'm just like.
How cold are we talking?
Uh, I believe it was thirty, forty, or thirty-nine degrees.
The water?
That's not bad.
It's very bad.
It's bad?
Way colder than the water that you were in.
Oh, thirty-two is freezing.
I thought, I thought we were going Celsius here. I was just like.
Oh, so you thought I was in ni- a hot tub?
Yeah. I was just like, wait a sec. That's not that hot?
No, it was, it was very cold and I just like stood still and I was like, fuck, fuck. And like I couldn't breathe.
You were counting in German?
Well, I was. Nein, nein. No, I was, then I was staring at the clock and, uh, then I, when I, looking up made me dizzy. So I was like, I'm not gonna look up. And I was just standing there and then eventually I had to walk out of steps to get out. Uh, and I was holding the pole. And then once I got out, I was like, oh shit, I might go down.
I think that's the closest I'll ever get to understanding like what the people in Titanic went through. Cause can you imagine?
What was, how cold was that?
I think the same.
They probably lost a lot of brown fat in that cold plunge.
Uh, yeah, all of their life, a lot of them have lost because of the hypothermia.
Correct.
You know, Jack, dude, Jack froze, dude.
You know, I will say.
Honestly, I'd probably rather be dead than like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna float on a fucking door and become a brick. I'm not, I'd rather be swimming with a fish.
At a certain point, this is probably not true.
But you know, when you go in a pool and then you go outside, you're like, oh, it's so cold. I'd rather stay in the water. This is the water. Is the water better than, yeah, the water has to be better than being outside.
I mean, I imagine the combination of the two is not good.
You know, like if they were dry on that door, she might have, like, I mean, she's, you know, we're also talking about a fictional movie.
She might have been good, but like the combination of being wet and then on that door.
Not a good combination.
I would, I would imagine. I would imagine that would suck.
I don't like that.
How cold is the Arctic Ocean? It was the Arctic, correct?
No, no, no. It was the Atlantic.
It was the Atlantic.
If they were in the, yeah.
Well, the, the Arctic, I tell you this right now, very cold.
Well, it was January too, right?
Wait.
When did, go look up when the Titanic went down.
When it dipped.
How cold, how cold?
Why are you Christopher Walken now?
How cold?
How cold is the Atlantic?
How cold is the water?
Did you hear what I did? That was the worst.
How cold was the, what, no, how cold was the water when the Titanic sank? Here we go.
Ooh, baby.
Hmm?
Twenty-eight.
How is it not icy cold? Oh, it's salt water, baby. That's right.
But also, there was, I mean, there was a berg.
Yeah, but.
That they hit, it was ice.
It's salt water, so that's why it doesn't freeze over.
I didn't even know that was true.
Salt water doesn't freeze at the same temperature as regular water, baby.
This near freezing temperature would have led to rapid onset of hypothermia for anyone in the water.
Oh, yeah.
Impact on survi-
That's why when people do those polar plunges, I'm just like, yo, you guys are crazy.
I've done a polar plunge.
Crazy.
I did it, uh, when my brother lived in Long Beach. They do one, uh, on Super Bowl Sunday, so I went and did it. Hey, man, I jumped in that water and I came out, look at me, white.
Red.
Yeah? My body immediately was like beet red.
Well, it's funny because the way that the earth is moving, if you believe certain scientists, polar plunges are like not like as bad because you'll go, the day of the polar plunge, it'll be like sixty degrees out.
Oh, yeah, maybe.
That's crazy, though.
Twenty-eight degrees Fahrenheit. Dude.
That's a little chilly.
I would have not done well on the Titanic.
Yeah, you probably would have died.
I would have hated the Titanic. I would have hated being on the Titanic.
Yeah, I imagine for a couple of reasons you would have hated it.
Yeah, you know, how do you drive into a iceberg, bro? Like, be responsible.
Well, no, that's the thing is there have been scientists that have come out and said like if they had hit the thing head on, there would have been damage to the hull, but they would have been able to complete the journey. But the fact that they tried to like, maneuver away from the iceberg is what ended up doing them in.
So basically, they're like.
Like, don't be a fucking, don't be a fucking bitch, dude. Like, hit that shit head on, dog.
So it's kind of like when you see a deer, it's like, yo, speed up, hit that fucking deer.
I've never heard that one.
Yeah, they're like, yo, you're supposed to speed up.
Apparently.
Oh, alright, cool.
They're like, and I, I just, I wouldn't do that. Like, I would see a deer and I'm like, I, I would do anything but hit this deer, so.
Dude, speaking of, Becca and I watched a movie and I'm not gonna spoil it. Have you seen Juror Number Two?
With Nicholas Halt? It's on Max. Dude, watch it.
It's good.
It's really good.
Does he kill a deer in it?
Dreamy guy. No, no, just watch the movie.
Dreamy dude, yeah. You don't think so? He does look like a pinky with eyes on him, but like, he's got like.
He reminds me of, uh, Benedict Cumberbatch a little.
And they both remind me of Gumby, which is not a bad thing. You remember Gumby?
So why are you saying dreamy?
Cause he's not like, he's got good eyes. He's a good looking dude.
Maybe, maybe the show is making you attracted to this man.
But also directed by Clint Eastwood. How?
How's that guy alive?
How, dude?
How is Clint Eastwood alive?
And like, this is the thing.
He looks like, a cigarette.
Or, or.
He looks like a worm from Men in Black.
Legitimately a lizard is what I was gonna say.
Yeah, he looks like those worms from Men in Black.
And his face has looked old from the day he was born, too.
Yeah, he's, uh, he's looked at least seventy his whole life, but now he looks double.
You ever think about that? Where it's like, yo, my entire life, our entire life, that's a long time.
We're like, we're not super young.
Snap of a finger for him.
Morgan Freeman and Clint Eastwood.
Dude, Jack.
You guys have fucking been old fr- Regis Phil- I mean, I know he's dead now.
He's gone, he's been gone.
Regis Philbin too, I was like, bro, this guy's been fucking old as fuck forever.
Dude, Jack Nicholson.
Jack Ni- well, he's looks like, oh, you know what Jack Nicholson looks like? There's a certain type of penguin that I don't know, but you know the ones that kinda look like they have hair? It's a little blonde?
Yeah dude!
They're all like, kinda like, they're big and fat and they're like-
I know what you're talking about, because of that movie Surf's Up. Where like, John's seen as a penguin and surfs with penguins in the Bahamas or something.
And the surf is up.
Yeah, and kinda like, that's what he looks like to me.
He does, he does a little bit, but like, that always fucks me up because I'll, I'll be like, they had a whole career before I was even-
Born.
And then now, they're just like, who they are, you know? Jack Nicholson, he's probably, he's probably it for him this one.
Who?
Jack Nicholson?
Oh my god, by the thread he's hanging.
He's, he's up there dude.
Yeah dude, yeah, I mean, not only is he up there, but he's visually up there.
Oh, I haven't seen him, because I don't watch a lot of basketball.
He-
I feel like-
That sounds like he's playing in the game.
I imagine that the most like, recent photo of him has been of him in a Lakers game.
Well, apparently he-
Which also, traitor, bitch, from Jersey.
I typed in Jack Nicholas, Jack Nicholas. Who is still alive? What the fuck?
How do you spell Jack?
N-I-C-H.
I got it, I got it.
Big guy's 87.
He's got a, maybe you know what, maybe, maybe you know what, like, maybe-
Finish the sentence before I flip out.
Maybe like, maybe four or five more years at him.
Dude, he's born in 1937.
Yeah dude, isn't that weird?
I feel like that's when they invented the coin. Like, that's how far away that sounds.
Coins were a little before that, uh, but like, he might have existed before like sliced bread.
When was sliced bread? When was sliced bread invented?
1928.
Okay, basically, the same time?
First of all, the person who invented sliced bread, their name is Otto Rowetter.
Here's the thing about back in the day.
Go for it.
People were named dumb shit.
You know, and not just their first names. Their last names were dumb.
How did we get rid of... No one's named that.
I hope not.
No one is named that.
I hope they aren't, and if they are, I hope that they get rid of the last name.
And how do you invent something like sliced bread and your family just isn't well-known?
Here's the thing that, and this is a legit question. How the fuck did someone not think of sliced bread before him?
I think they just were just like, just, "I'd just rip it."
But like, I, there is, I will say, ripping bread is way cooler than slicing bread.
You know, just being like, "Yo, you want?" Like, when we did that shoot, I don't want to say where or when, but keep your eyes out.
We did, we were ripping bread.
We were ripping some bread.
I like ripping bread.
I like it because then you wipe it, and you're a big food wiper. We know that about you.
Yeah, I like wiping it.
Yeah, I know. Remember all those times you said that you didn't and you tried gaslighting me?
No, you made up a story.
No, I didn't.
That for some reason you believe, and I'm willing to say.
I didn't make it up. I remember as, I remember so clearly you putting duck sauce on a plate and wiping chip, chicken through it. I remember. I remember.
Wait, wiping, what do you, wait, that's not the story that I remember.
What, what do you remember?
Wait, what are you talking about, wiping chicken? You talking about dipping chicken?
Yeah, but you wouldn't, you wouldn't just dip. You would put.
Cause it's, it's flat on a plate.
Criminal. You put dips in something round and deep, whether it be a shot glass or...
Frank, I'm in my house. In a sh, Frankie.
You eat di, at, at home, and if you have a side, like a thing of ketchup, you put it in a shot glass?
Yes, if I need to, because here's the.
What do you think that's normal?
Here's the laws of sauces. The laws of sauces. Losses. If you don't have the proper container to dip, or a lot, a lot of sauces now will come in dippable containers that you can just toss out.
Frank, I'm in my house.
You drizzle on top.
Those are the rules. Yes, bitch.
Yes, bitch.
No, I put my sauce on the side, and then after a while, cause it, it like, it like, spreads.
Criminal. Exactly. That's what happens. Then that's why, that's why you were a wipe master general with your food. That's why it was so stupid.
People wa, people dip that way.
It's stupid. I'm telling you they do, but I know it's dumb.
Judgmental.
Bitch!
That hits so perfectly.
That was a really good bitch. That was a really good bitch.
Nothing's better than a bitch that hits really hard.
Dude, a well-placed bitch is so great.
So great. Go get to these ads. I know that-
When you could just be, when the B comes out so good, bitch!
That was bad, see? The last one was good.
Well, the B needs to pop a little.
You know, like a, like a, like a real good, like, bitch!
Like a Harry Potter, like that, yeah.
Oh, you wanna get racist like Malfoy, don't you?
Potter!
Chill, bro, it's a hard P. Can't be doing that.
He, he was dropping hard Ps.
Yeah, he was.
And his dad, forget about it.
We're almost, me and Miles are almost done with our re-watch. We're on the very, very last movie.
Yeah. His dad who looks like his mom from behind.
Yo, I'm gonna say something crazy here.
Is this gonna piss me off?
Maybe, but get to the ads first.
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There you go, folks, and Frank, what the heck were you about to say that was going to make me pissed?
So I was talking to our buddy Scott recently, and we were talking about... Harry Potter and all that Hogwarts Legacy, the game, which I haven't finished. I'm actually gonna go back and read like-
There's a new one coming, right?
I think they said that they're gonna make the second one, but there's been a bunch of like weird stuff about like when it's actually coming.
But, he said, and this is not an exact- he said that he prefers Slytherin over Gryffindor.
And I was like, you- so you prefer-
That kid's an asshole.
Thank you so much, god damn it!
Piece of shit, yeah.
Like, you prefer, like, just be like, you-
What- what about it is cool?
Well, the green and black? What was your- the color scheme, dude?
Yeah. You got those two guys, their names are like Barf and G- Gargo- what was the name?
Crab and Goyle?
Crab and Goyle-
That sucks.
Barf and Gargoyle, yeah. Yeah, that's a- I'm confusing that with Spaceballs, but-
Yeah, close.
His name is Barf, but, yeah, like, what the fuck is cool about that?
And he's just like, he's got- and then he was just like, also Malfoy's the coolest. I was like, bro, get the fuck out of here.
Mal- Malfoy is a fucking dweeze, bro.
He's a little bitch.
Malfoy would be cooler if he was just like an asshole through the whole thing, but he turns into a puss!
And here's why he said this, because he named his character in, uh, fucking Hogwarts Legacy.
Oh, let me- Mean- Mean Guy 129? What is it?
Scott Malfoy.
Scott, what are you doing? And I'm like, I was like, that's like naming yourself Eva Braun, you know what I mean?
What are we doing here?
You remember Eva Braun, obviously.
I don't know how that is.
She was the girlfriend to Hitler. Uh, and he goes, nah, don't disrespect Draco. And he goes Slytherins were the flyest. Yo!
Scott Malfoy?
That's insane, dude!
That, I- I- I- I'm trying to, like, I don't even know. That's an insane thing.
Just like, Gryffindor's cool. And like, people are gonna say, well, like, well, if you go on Pottermore, and like, you- you get your, like, you get sordid by the hat. Bro, Gryffindor's, first of all, cool animal, lion.
Yeah, lions.
You know, color scheme, Harry Potter.
Ron Weasley.
Coolest robes, easily. Also Slytherin's like third. I would say-
Hufflepuff sucks. Yeah, Hufflepuff is bad.
Yo, if I played that game-
Number two is Ravenclaw. The name is so sick.
Sick!
Ravenclaw!
Yeah, I love that. What color are they?
Purple.
Like that, and that's your favorite color?
Yeah!
I'll tell you this right now, when I played the Harry Potter video game and the sorting hat went on my head, I'm like, if this isn't Gryffindor, I'm gonna cut my own head off. And if it puts me in, uh, Hufflepuff, I'm gonna cut my head off and I'm gonna step on it with the last few seconds.
I'll be honest with you, I'll be honest, cuz, so if you don't get placed in the proper house, you can ask to move.
Like, in the game, they put me in Ravenclaw, the hardest switch, dude. The hardest switch to Gryffindor.
Damn, I'll go back and play that game now.
Go, go, do it, go and do it.
I'll just get on a hippo Gryffindor and be like,
love that game, fuck.
Yeah, but, I couldn't believe when he was just like, Slytherin's got the most drip. I think he was just going off the color scheme, which, don't get me wrong, I like the color green, purple, if we're going off color scheme.
If we're going off color scheme? Ravenclaw is the coolest.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Ravenclaw's cool.
But, we could all agree across the board, I'm sorry if there are any Pottermore nerds out there, Hufflepuff sucks, dude.
Sucks, dude.
And your founder's name was Helga?
Ugh.
Ravona.
What's that?
Ravona Ravenclaw.
Oh, yeah, yeah, that's a s- yo, that's a sexy name.
Hell, yeah.
Ravona?
Yeah, and even Gryffindor's name, Godric?
Ooh. Yeah, that's kinda cool.
His, yo, his nickname is God, bro. Or Rick. That's so less cool than God, Frank.
Or Rick.
I think you have the option to have the nickname, God or Rick?
And you go with the name that sounds like you work in an off- like, a just a office space.
I think that speaks to who me and you are internally, uh, but,
you're Rick and you think you're God.
I don't think I'm God, my name's God.
Oh, people can call me God.
Call me God, everyone. Oh.
Or-
That's so sick, people can call me God.
Your name's Godric and you're like, mm, just call me Rick.
Alright dude, or Godrick, just call me my full name, you don't need to, you know.
But full names are losers. Remember all those losers we knew that grew up on Long Island that would just be like, anytime they talk about someone, they'd be like, "Oh, that's Stephanie Miller?" It's like, just use the name, Steph, Steffi, Lil Steph.
Yeah, I, well, I'm trying to think of if we know anyone who goes by their full name.
I don't know anyone who goes by their full name.
I mean Greg, whenever he walks into a room, he says, he's like, "I am Gregory Diebeck."
Yeah, oh no, Greg's a nickname, yeah.
Yeah, but he, he reminds us, like, whenever he talks, because a lot of people don't know this about Greg, he speaks in the third person.
So like, we'll be like, "Yo, like, anyone hungry?" And he'll say, he'll be like, "Greg, Gregory Diebeck," he'll say, "Gregory Diebeck wants some white rice."
Gregory, also Gregory Diebeck, uh, left a bunch of little snacks in my backseat. Um, which I just found today, I looked behind me, and there's a little packet of cashews, and there's another little packet of crushed pretzels.
Yeah, he also left me garbage in my backseat the last time he was there.
He's very garbage leaving.
He ate sunflower seeds and just spit the shells on the seat.
No, he didn't.
Bro, there were shells everywhere where he was sitting.
What a pig.
What a fucking pig.
Yeah, and honestly,
it's, it's really weird. I don't know if you guys have friends like this, but Greg legitimately can't go anywhere without having, you would think it's medical, it isn't, it's just...
Psychopathy.
Props.
It's honestly...
He always has little snacks on him, dude, he's like a bird, he's like a bird.
He is like a bird, and like, they're not like snacks that would get someone to like a satisfied level of hunger, it's just like, a little like...
Yeah, like, and that's the thing too, so if he eats cashews, he's usually eating them with both hands.
And, and he takes...
He takes them, and he'll literally be like this, he'll be like...
It's like, yo, bro, it's just a pretzel, my guy.
Like, he's a fucking raccoon or something. He eats, Greg eats like a raccoon. No dairy, little, little claws.
And he speaks in the third person.
But instead of eating garbage, he leaves it in your backseat.
Yes, that is correct.
So, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's our friend Gregory the raccoon.
2025 is gonna be the year we expose Greg for the fucking raccoon he is.
Stop talking about the year, I'm over it.
25.
See, you don't understand, Joey.
Here we go.
Here's what you don't understand.
Tell me.
You don't understand that 2025, whether it be, you know, like, the, the, the reason that people like doing that toward the beginning of the year is because it is a, a, a passing of the torch from your former self to your future self, whom you've wanted to be and who you are currently trying to become.
Can I say, I am shocked that you subscribe to that?
I, I don't subscribe to it as much, like, I, but I, I am aware that people use it as kind of like a spiritual, like, restart? And I, I respect it, because I respect people.
So do you or do you not?
You wanted to be called God.
No, I didn't. See, now he's, see, see?
No, I do, I'm saying, I, I, I, I am not, although I don't subscribe to that, I, I'll, I understand people do it.
You just said.
I let them do it. I let them do it, those filth.
If you don't, if you, if you don't.
Those dirty raccoons that eat with both hands.
If you, if you don't subscribe to it, and I don't, then we're on the same team, and then you're telling me, here's what you don't understand.
Because I.
But you don't even subscribe to it, you know why?
You know why?
No opinions!
We flipped, I don't know why that, we flipped.
I don't know why that.
I, I'm leaving, I'm leaving.
I'm leaving 2025 with love. You can't say that, but I haven't seen it. Love and joy and happiness.
Just not for Slytherin.
Just not for Slytherin. Scott Malfoy?
Dude, use a condom, just be safe when you're fucking, fucking Draco, alright? Jeez. Scott Malfoy.
Boy, do I have a fun text message going out as soon as this episode is done. Just let him know, like, hey.
We talked about you a little bit.
We might have talked about you a little bit. God, Malfoy.
It's alright, it's okay.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, that would be like Joe Potter, which is nuts.
Which I'll, I'll say, Scott, I'll do you a favor here. Scott Malfoy, although it's probably a little worse, it's not that much worse than me just making my name Joe Santagato.
Yeah. I remember my guy's-
What was your name?
My guy's name was like Frank, uh, something. Like, it was a fun whimsical name. Not Joe Santagato.
Oh, you were like Frank Twisters? Whoa. Not really good off the top of my head.
Twenty twenty-five, a hot start for Joe. No, it was like-
A wizard's name.
It was like Jingleforth or something. Like, something like-
Frank Jingleforth?
Something whimsical and fun, you know? And my guy was hot.
He had cool stuff?
Just, I wanna show you a picture, cuz I, I recently sent this.
You, you have a picture of your Harry Potter character on your, like, handy?
Good-looking dude. Come on. You're telling me this guy doesn't got the fucking drip? Look at that, baby. What do you think?
You know what's funny to think about?
I like my outfits drippy, bruh.
I'm still digesting what you just said, dude. That was really bad. What's going on?
I'm gonna fucking pass out.
You wanna try that, say it again?
No, no, no, no, no.
Say it again, and we won't laugh. Say it again. Say it in a straight face, and I'm not gonna laugh. Go.
Well, you gotta, you gotta stop laughing. Okay, go.
I'm not laughing.
Me neither.
I'm hip. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm in, I'm in, I'm, I'm in lockstep with what the kids are laughing about nowadays.
What is that?
You know? Lockstep.
What's lockstep?
You know? When you're, when you're, like, you're with them. You're walking together.
That's how I walk.
Hey, hey, kids.
Walk like we're in High School Musical.
We should end there, right?
Uh, no.
I think that we should bury that a little bit, if anything. I like my outfits drippy, bruh. How much time, be honest, did you spend on your Harry Potter character's outfit?
All the time.
Yeah, all of the time. Because you can get really cool. Because here's the thing, the cool gear that you could get,
You gotta...
It looks stupid. So like, what you could do, as I figured out, is that you can put, you can like equip the cool gear that gives you all the buffs, But you can make it look like noth- something else.
Frank, I did that.
Yeah, bitch. So I got like, you know, like a legendary mythical Godric Gryffindor hat, And Ravone Ravenclaws high heels. Don't ask me why my guy's in high heels. Maybe it's just something that he wants to do, you know? But, I'm like, alright, you know?
But you, you make it just like black boots, though. Make it look chill.
Hell yeah.
Be like, yo, this gives me plus thirteen health.
But they just look like black boots.
Hell yeah. You know? I might, you know what? I'm gonna, I'm gonna restart that game. As soon as I'm done, I'm still on my cod wave right now.
Yeah, I wanna, I wanna get back into that. But, isn't it funny how like,
I'm picturing some like dude being like, "Oh, don't play with dolls, like accessorize, accessorizing dolls is fucking gay," and like whatever. But then you get on Harry Potter and you're like, "Ooh, I hope I have a nice cape."
Yeah. Yup, you know? Yeah.
Which is exactly what I did.
That's what I'm saying.
Need a really nice cape.
Good capes. Twenty twenty-five is the year of just exposing hypocrisy of that, you know, Classification of people that think that it's like not cool to collect toys, or drink a lot of tea.
Hmm, yeah. You're the perfect mascot to be defending that.
Thank you.
Yeah. What?
Hmm. I wonder how much crossover there is between people who love tea and people who love collecting toys. There's probably a lot of people.
The world may never know.
Could just ask ChatGPT, which I've been heavy on asking of things.
Well, maybe don't ask artificial intelligence because it could not be accurate sometimes. You know, maybe just do your own research, Joe.
I'd just be typing into Google, which was technically also like.
You can find peer reviewed articles, you know, there's.
Peer reviewed articles about tea?
Metadata searches and stuff like that.
Metadata searches.
You know, really understand like the, you know,
quantitative way that they were able to decipher this data and, you know, apply it to real life. Make sure that the study was done with a well represented group of members of the society and stuff like that.
Oh, society again. That was about the 14th society you dropped to this episode. I appreciate you being here.
You know, I have already explained, I'm, I'm leading 2025 with love. You seem like you have a lot of animosity today.
Uh, you called me a bitch earlier and I gave you a bitch back.
You gave me, you gave me the hardest bitch anyone's ever given. You bitched me hard.
I wasn't planning on bitching that hard, but it, I didn't, I don't regret it because it was really cool.
Honestly, it was a good one. Don't regret it. I would don't, I'm allowing you to not regret that one.
Bitch.
All right.
Anyway, uh, that's all for this week's episode. Sorry, folks. Frank, where can they find you?
Uh, Hogwarts Legacy, Gryffindor common room.
Look up Frank Jingle Bust. What was it?
I don't remember. I'll have to like look up my name, but it was whimsical.
It was fun. But, uh, yeah, and then you go find me elsewhere. Go to Patreon, patreon.com slash the basement yard. Thanks. Love you guys. 2025. Let's, let's rock and roll, baby.
You had to throw in one more 2025. Uh, you guys can go follow me at Joe Santagato. Go follow the show on TikTok and Instagram at the basement yard. Uh, and that is all. See you guys next time.
Page updated November 5, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated