The Basement Yard
Original podcast
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Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. Frank, why don't you go ahead and repeat what you just said?
I said, I tried bringing my beard to a point.
What, do you think you're Scar from The Lion King? That would be fire.
Honestly, now I have to do it all the time.
Yeah.
He is such, that's so weird you bring that up.
It's the Scar.
I mean, his name was originally Scar.
What?
There's actually a movie that just came out a couple of weeks ago that it's like the origin of Scar and Mufasa. Like, he's like, Mufasa was like adopted by Scar's family, but his name isn't Scar. It's something else. And then he just like called him Scar, like a slur. Fucking Mufasa.
Oh, so then it stuck?
I guess so. He was like, "Oh, you got a scar, Scar, bitch, nerd." Yeah, basically.
And it's like, now we're just gonna call you that.
Yeah, but...
It's a cool name, though.
I gotta admit.
I always wanted a scar when I was younger. Opened my eye.
I mean, people bring it up all the time. I didn't think it was gonna become that popular of a quote from our show, but my legs are mostly scars.
Right, yeah.
You know? I do have a scar on my eyebrow.
You do, don't you?
Yeah, I do. I believe it's this one right around, like, right here.
Yeah, I can see it.
And it's from when I was a baby. Not a baby, I was like a toddler and I ran into the wall, like, the corner of the wall, and it cut me up.
Dumbass.
You know what's funny is I made a vow to myself on the way here, like, I am gonna open the show...
And be nice?
And be very nice and joyous and calm and happy.
I feel like we're doing that, though.
You just called me a dumbass.
Yeah, but like, we weren't yelling.
So if I don't yell my insults at you, it's not mean?
I mean, it's better. It's a step forward for sure.
You're a white devil.
Okay, you were gonna say bitch. You have a gold flake.
Oh, this fucking-
The other way, other way, other way. Other cheek. Is it gone? Is it gone? Look at me, look at me. Move your face.
Oh, you have one. You have one on your face.
No, I don't.
Where is it?
You have one right here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Frankie gave me this fucking wrapping paper that has dust all over it.
My beautiful wife-
She likes pixie dust.
She knows. She knows, like, I hate glitter. So after she, and I asked, I was like, did you wrap my gifts in this? She's like, yeah. And I was like, thank you? Big mistake, though.
Me and Frank exchanged Christmas gifts in the parking lot.
Yeah, like a drug deal.
It was like, alright, put this in your trunk, put it in my trunk. It's so weird.
Why do we do that? And I, Becca, we made, and we got and made like a cute little thing for, for you-
For Greg.
And also for Greg and Brittany. And I pick it up, and it falls out the bottom and just falls onto the-
Porcelain chipped it hard.
Yeah, but it's just a chip.
Chip, chip.
Chip.
And it's underneath.
Yeah, who cares?
Color it in.
Honestly, bitch, color it in.
It adds some, like, flavor.
I don't know if coloring it in is a good idea, because then if they use it to bake, then like the fumes of whatever you're-
Is that a baking dish?
Yeah, they're baking, they're baking safe, ceramic, babe.
Yeah, I didn't know-
What I gave you, you can bake in that shit?
Yeah, but what would I bake in it? Oh, bread, maybe.
You can do-
I mean, I'm not baking bread, dude. What am I, Betty Crocker?
I mean, there's, it's 2025. You have the opportunity, the opportunities are endless. You could do anything you want. You can pick up a new hobby tomorrow, and knowing you, be very good at it within, uh, ten years.
No, but like, dude, maybe this is the year of Joey Bread Bowl Boy.
I don't-
Joey the Bread, Bread Boy.
Okay, see, see, we're highlighting-
Why not?
The weakness that you have.
This is the thing that-
Coming up with names.
This is the, this is the thing that big celebrities are doing now, is they're getting into like food establishments. Bradley Cooper just opened a Philly cheesesteak place. That bread looked exceptional.
The cheesesteak?
That looked okay.
It did.
It didn't look that great.
I was like, this could use more cheese.
Yeah, less steak, more cheese.
Yeah, there's a lot of steak.
But- This could be the year of Joey getting into the venture of restaurants.
Of breads?
Restaurateur.
I don't think so.
Joey the bread boy.
Where I ju- it's a restaurant, it's just bread?
Oof.
Bakery. I'll tell you what.
Every di- every dish. Those are called bakeries, Joe. Every dish has bread infused in some capacity?
How about this, no plates, only bread bowls. I don't give a fuck what we serve.
Listen, yes.
Side of fries?
Bread bowl. It would be a little expensive though, like to have that many bread bowls.
Is bread expensive?
Uh, nah, no, but like, for the person to like, consume it. Like, the idea of getting a whole loaf of bread is crazy. And you'd be in, you'd be going up against Panera, and you and Panera, that's, that's a fight you don't know if you'll win.
Yeah, no, I mean, I, I've definitely lost before. I had it one time. I've only had Panera one time, diarrhea, didn't go back. Swear to God, I thought I was like, I definitely-
Can I ask you a serious question?
How many places?
Establishments, food establishments have given you diarrhea?
I don't even know how to answer that.
This was over ten years ago.
Okay.
It wasn't ten years ago. It doesn't matter. I used to crush Panera, and I will tomorrow, if I wanted to, bitch.
I don't know, someone was asking me that, and I feel like this has gotten blown out of proportion, it was like, I feel like you always get food poisoning. I get food poisoning like, once every three years.
Joey.
Everyone chill out.
I have gotten food poisoning zero times in my entire life.
I'm, I'm pretty adventurous.
With food? You didn't get it from like, a fucking like, run to the, like-
I go, I go out to eat-
Under, like cupboard under the stairs restaurant, you went to a jazz club and got a burger, Joey.
That's not adventure, that's-
Well, I'm saying adventurous in the sense of like, I probably am at a higher risk of getting food poisoning if like-
Well, you're going-
I'm going out to restaurants and stuff all the time.
But you're going to like, well-regarded restaurants that-
People make mistakes.
People do make mistakes, but they don't, they don't make mistakes at that level, clearly.
Well, that place is also like, a nice place that I went to. There was an E. coli outbreak, you know, don't eat the fucking carrots and stuff, I'm not tapped into the-
Maybe, maybe it was E. coli.
I think it was E. coli.
So you got colide?
I got colide in my E.
Yeah. Yeah, that's crazy, but yeah, I think, hear me out. You know, I'm in the business of like really having great ideas lately.
I don't know that, but go ahead.
You, just you, Greg, when Greg hears this, he's gonna be fully on board. Just get into being a restaurateur. You have, you have.
What do I have?
The hot sauces.
Right.
One of them has already been released, but one of them, well, I don't know when the release for that one is officially, but.
Yeah, me neither, honestly.
But you have, you have your own line of hot sauces. You have a keen eye to become a, a, a sommelier. You're on your way, baby steps. And you could be the, you could be the hot sauce provider, sommelier and bread boy for Joe's Big Bread Boy.
Place.
Good bits. I mean, the ideas are just unbelievable coming out of you over there. And I really, really appreciate the, the faith that you have in me. Um, but that's not going to happen.
I mean, why not?
Because?
Because why? Restaurants are a really difficult like avenue to get into in terms of.
Making money.
I think that most, I think that all of them lose money in their first year.
I think it's in like.
Something like that.
I, I, and, and don't ask me where I learned this because the answer is the office. But I think most businesses in their first five years like don't turn a profit. They need to like prove that they're sustainable after that in order to, I've been watching a lot of Shark Tank too. So.
So what does that make you get at?
You seen any good ones, any good inventions? Was there anything that like growing up, like you heard about and you're like, I had that idea?
The word biznatch.
Frank, I'm talking about like businesses, inventions and like Post-its or something. The word biznatch?
Yeah, honestly.
Who even made it up? Limp Bizkit?
I don't know, prob, honestly?
Wait, you heard the word biznatch and you said, yo, I said.
Yeah, I was, so, um, my sister, uh, had a friend who was a couple of years older than, you know, than I was, or than we were, because our sister's the same age. And, um. She came home one day, and I had been using BizNatch relatively, uh, isolated in my own, with amongst myself.
In your room, just BizNatching to yourself?
To myself, playing video games. Calling our friends, but also like amongst our friends.
Calling our friends BizNatches.
And then she, one day, said it, and I was like, "Where the hell did you hear that?" And she's like, "I heard, uh, some people at school were saying it," and I was just like, "I coined BizNatch."
So you think that you saying BizNatch, probably on Xbox, at us?
Well, no, it was before Xbox Live, like, it was like 2002, 2003.
So then the streets carried BizNatch.
So, you, I mean, you remember, there were certain rumors that were powerful enough to travel the world, pre-internet, you know, fame and, and monstrosity that it is now.
Marilyn Manson, taking out a bunch of his ribs.
So he could suck his own dick.
So he can suck his own dick.
Sierra, penis.
Sierra penis, Olivia penis.
Who's Olivia?
She was from G-Unit, she was the other...
Oh, she had a penis?
That, there was rumors that she had a penis.
Oh, okay.
You know, um, but, like, stuff like that.
So I thought, when I heard someone use BizNatch, I, I felt, a part of me felt excited, for like, maybe someone heard me and was just like, "I'm gonna go spread this." Then I was a little worried, I was like, "Am I not gonna get the credit for..."
Right, 'cause that's what it's all about.
You wanted Merriam and Webster to call you.
This is, this is not a joke. I legit, at the time, believed that I came up with the word BizNatch.
My brother Thomas believes that he brought the v-neck back. He believes that.
I also believe I brought back Hawaiian shirts. That's not a joke.
I, I firmly stand by I brought back floral patterns and Hawaiian shirts.
Well, I think retired law enforcement brought that back.
No, they were the ones that killed it. It, let me tell you, Hawaiian shirts used to be cool in like, the 70s and 80s. Is it?
Coach probe. Coach a probe. Is it?
Well, I don't. Care. Um.
I was, I wa- wait, in regards to the white, the old white cops?
No.
Oh, you mean Hawaiians?
Who else would I be talking about?
Cops?
No. I meant, I meant the Hawaiians.
Oh.
Why is it Hawaiian?
I think it was just like a. I don't know.
Yeah?
I don't know. I'm not even gonna try.
But. I do know that it was cool at one point. Like, I'm talking like Magnum P.I. You know?
Tom Selleck. Dude, Tom Selleck could have shit on a shingle and people would have thought it was the coolest thing on the town.
Yeah, but we're young, dude.
We weren't even alive when that show was on.
But that's what I'm saying, like. How did you bring it back?
Because there was no Hawaiian shirts anywhere. Like.
But you found them.
But, but, I went and I saw one at Ralph Lauren. At a, at a Ralph Lauren outlet. Let's be very clear about something.
I was gonna say, how much did you pay for that?
It was a Ralph Lauren outlet. And I was like, you know what? Hell yeah. Like, this was, this was me. I felt it. It felt good to me.
Hawaiian.
Yes.
Exactly.
When you look at me, if you don't think Hawaiian, what do you think?
Nothing else.
Yeah. But.
This is me. This is who I wanna be now.
And then I just kept buying Hawaiian shirts. And like, then I saw. Like, at first, and you were a part of this too, people made fun of me.
I was definitely a part of that.
I do remember that.
And people were just like, what are you wearing? And I was like, I like it. Who gives a fuck? You know, and I still take that mentality to this day.
I agree, you do.
Uh.
I'm not trying to be offensive.
Okay, alright, okay.
As soon as it left my mouth, I was like, that could be misconstrued.
Misconstrued. And you know.
Yeah, well, I'm teetering.
I'm teetering right now.
A line right now. Yeah, yeah.
And then I was just like, then I saw other people starting to wear, and then some of our friends started getting floral pattern stuff. And I was like. I, I brought back Hawaiian shirts and floral patterns.
Do you think that Hawaii should be thanking you for something like that?
I don't know if, it's like.
The answer is no, Frank. Don't do this.
Don't offend the Hawaiians.
I was just gonna say like, I don't know. Or the origins of Hawaiian shirts. I don't know, like, were they legit, like? Like, it's like french fries. They don't come from France.
Belgium?
Oh, yeah, I don't know, but I know they don't come from France.
French toast, is that from France?
I don't know, but if it is, then they scored a point in my book. Love French toast.
French kissing?
I imagine around before the French.
I do too, but I do think that like, for some reason, French people are probably really good at making out. I don't know why.
The ancient Greeks were fucking each other in the butt. You think they weren't fucking slipping a little bit of tongue in on some kisses?
I mean, they're probably the best at anal then, but like, I don't know about French kissing.
Well, that's why they call anal, like, other, like, the colloquial term for anal sex is Greek dogging.
Frank, I have never heard that term before in my entire life. Did you make that up?
Okay, I was gonna say, if that's real. Greek dogging.
That's a good one, though, right?
Yeah, I mean.
Oh, you're trying to coin a phrase now.
I'm trying to start something here.
I lost out on biz match, now I'm getting Greek dogging now.
Oh, man, fucking guy got Greek dogged last night.
Speaking of biz match, which I'm not gonna speak about that, but, like, Limp Bizkit, because it makes me think of Limp Bizkit.
Mm-hmm.
Remember when he said he did it all for the nookie?
What it? The nookie.
So you can take their cookie?
Oh. And stick it up your...
Yeah! What is that? Is that puss?
Nookie has gotta be.
Puss?
Duh, duh, yeah. I did it all for the nookie. What? The nookie.
So you can take that cookie and shove up your ass?
What is the nookie? Now?
I thought the nookie was puss, but I'm not sure.
I think so, but I don't know how motivated Fred Durst was by nookie.
By the nookie.
Because he seems like he'd be more motivated by Monster Energy Drinks.
Skateboarding.
Definitely.
Those beanies that have a brim.
Stuff like that.
You got me bitch. Janko jeans.
You know? Uh, chain wallets.
Yelling into...
Yelling at your parents.
And then hitting them with one of these.
You know? Um, what is the nookie?
What is the nookie song about?
I think it's, it's Puss, I think.
Um...
What's this cookie that he's talking about?
Songfacts! Uh, which is a website, apparently. Uh, is here to tell us, as it's loading. Goodness gracious, why is it taking so long? Um...
Really cut...
Here we go, ladies and gentlemen.
Really cut some corners on the fucking...
Frankie phones is back at it.
Apparently here, the small blurb that I could see is that the song is about an old girlfriend of Fred Durst's, who betrayed him. When Durst was getting his career started in Los An- Los Angeles, he was, and then it cut off.
So he did it all for, for her, Puss? And then he, and then you see he's gonna shove a cookie in her?
I, I mean, that part...
She could take that cookie and stick it up her...
Stick it up her...
Yeah, dude.
I can't even begin to explain the love I have for Limp Bizkit.
You love the song "Rollin'"? Uh, literally, when it comes on... Dude, you guys have to see Frankie. He legitimately can't help himself and transforms like a werewolf in the night. Like, you put on the song "Rollin'" by Limp Bizkit, and he's just like... (mimicking werewolf) And he's just so hyped.
Well, first of all, let's back up a little bit. Werewolves don't transform in the night, they transform underneath the light of a full moon. So we'll make sure, we make sure that is correct.
When's the full moon out? You wanna do semantics?
Nighttime.
Yeah. But... Wait.
If there's a full, because sometimes I see the full moon out during the day. Werewolves, they don't.
I guess, I guess they like wait until the, because the, the, the sun, it gets rid of it.
But I thought they like can't help it. They like break all their clothes.
Yeah, but at night they do that.
It's expensive being a werewolf.
Hell yeah dude. Just ripping up all your shit. Just be naked, just be naked.
For real, I would never wear like good clothes because I'm like, I'm gonna rip this.
Yeah, uh, but. What were you, what were you saying? The nookie. The no, uh, no, uh, Roland.
Roland.
It has, I have a very, uh, uh, strong connection to the song Roland by Limp Bizkit. Mainly because of The Undertaker. That was The Undertaker's theme song for, oh man, what seems like the better part of two, three years. So anytime The Undertaker came out, I heard Roland and it was sick. And, and don't even fuck with me. Listen, I know there's jokes about Limp Bizkit and like their, their audience and kind of who they were at that time of their popularity.
But, listen to that song and tell me it doesn't fucking smoke your shit. You know what I'm saying?
Move in and move out.
Hands up and hands down. Back up, back up. Cause there's a dance to it, which I remember from the video.
Dude, you gotta see, I, I forgot. I think it was a wedding that this song came on.
Why was it on at a wedding?
Uh, no, but no, I don't know if it was a wedding, but it was a party that I was at with you where it was like, there was a lot of people around on a dance floor. And this song comes on and you should have seen the look in Frankie's eyes. I, I legitimately got started to get scared. And then when the chorus hits and it's like, move in and move out, this kid's throwing his body around. And then he's like, back up, back up. And he's pushing people out of the way. And I'm like, yo, we need to get out of here before Frankie flips out.
Well, the, the spirit of Fred Durst went inside of me.
You're the biscuit.
I am the limpest biscuit you can find, dude.
Dude, he's the limpest biscuit.
I am limp, I am a limp biscuit.
Yeah, you are.
Bizkit, by the way.
Yeah, not biscuit.
Not biscuit, bizkit.
Although I would love a biscuit.
Ooh, a very limp one, meaning a very buttery.
Soft?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But when that song comes on, like you need to, you know, you need to move in and move out, your hands up and hands down. And then back up, like you need to fucking.
Make some space.
You know, and then.
Rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'. There, there's only one way to go. To this day, I am not even kidding when I say this. One of the greatest pieces of produced media I've ever seen is the WrestleMania 17 promo package between The Rock and Stone Cold.
Over the song My Way by Limp Bizkit.
I'mma do it my way.
Yeah, that's exceptional.
Chick, chickaww yawby, chickaww yawby yawby. Chickaww yawby, chickaw my melody. That's what, you don't remember that part?
And Stone Cold or like, Stone Cold and The Rock are talking and Stone Cold's like, "Uh, uh, it's my title, you ain't having it." And The Rock is like, "I will do anything." And then finally, they start punching. And it's just like, "This time, I'mma let it all come out." And then with the beat, they're hitting Stone Earth and Rock Pot.
It loves Limp Bizkit.
Dude, it is, do me a favor, jokes aside, everyone here, go fucking watch that.
I know what you're talking about.
And it is so good. It is so, and it's like five minutes long.
Is Seventeen the one that we used to go to David's house and watch all the time?
Yes, but the, you'd watch it at my house before school with the TLC Mac.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know?
It's a good one.
All those wrestling pay-per-views, like the songs that were associated with them, were unbelievable.
I watched WrestleMania Seventeen probably like six years ago.
When I was in, uh, Long Island Ci-
When I was in Long Island City, I like, I legit went on the WWE app and made an account just so I could watch that whole pay-per-view.
And it still holds up.
Yeah, I was like, what am I doing?
Now it's all on Peacock.
Did Kane throw someone through a glass?
Yeah, there was the triple threat for the hardcore title between-
It went backstage?
Kane, Big Show and Raven.
Yes!
Yep, there was the, there was the gimmick battle royal that was won by the Iron Sheik.
I don't remember that.
You don't remember that at all? Oh, man, there's so many-
TLC, I remember obviously.
TLC, there was, then you had China vs. Ivory for the women's title. Uh, you had TLC-
China vs. Ivory.
You had The Undertaker and, uh, Triple H in a match. Yeah, I don't, oh, man.
No, I know, it's crazy.
Oh, and then you had Stone-
Stone Cold and The Rock.
We had Stone Cold and The Rock, but then you also had Vince vs. Shane McMahon. And you remember the whole storyline?
He kicked him in the face?
Well, he did the coast to coast, but then the whole storyline where like, fucking Linda McMahon was like- A vegetable, basically, and like Vince was making out and like sucking on Trish Traddish's titties in front of her and shit.
And then she stood up and kicked him in the nuts and the place went ape shit.
I remember that.
Do you know what I'm saying?
What a, what a pay-per-view.
What a, what a time to be alive.
Did you think there was gonna be five minutes of, of WrestleMania 17 on this episode? I bet you didn't, viewers.
Whatever this is gonna add to the Limp Bizkit talk, the song is about an old girlfriend of Fred Durst's who betrayed him. We all, we've all been there.
Classic story.
Hey, Mr. Durst.
We've all been betrayed.
Okay, um.
Well, you, one day you think you're doing it all for the nookie and then you get betrayed.
And then, and then suddenly it's all for the cookie.
And shove it up your ass.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you still close to the Durst family? Or that was just Robert Durst? Um, when.
The serial killer?
Yeah, yeah. When Durst was getting his career started in Los Angeles, he was sending money home to his girlfriend to pay the bills. Instead, she used the money to treat her and another man to drugs and hotel rooms.
That sounds crazy.
In this song, Durst explains that he knew what was going on, but stayed with her for the sex. That's the nookie.
He's like, I did it for the nookie.
Wow.
I mean, uh, can I say this?
No, he didn't.
No one would make that decision.
I mean, kinda, on Mr. Durst, he was writing from a, a place of pain and anguish.
But Mr. Bizkit.
Betrayal.
You could, you could find another woman in that Los Angeles.
I'm sure he had access to other nookies. I don't mean to use that as a terminology to, to just completely, you know.
Dehumanize women to just being.
A nookie.
You did, but.
No, no, Mr. Durst did.
Okay?
We're reporting.
Frederick Durst. You know, he's like a movie director now?
Is he?
He's got the whole white beard look. It looks cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, man, maybe it's time to throw on some, throw on some Creed. Limp Bizkit. Puddle of Mud. Just throw them on. Who are you? Just who are you?
Let the bodies hit the floor. Let the bodies hit the.
Dude, it still fucking hits.
Yeah, you love that. I, I didn't hate that song either, but.
You shouldn't.
You know what?
How much can we talk about Limp Bizkit in this, like?
Do you think we could stretch it for the whole time?
There's also the song Break Stuff.
That song is a legitimate fear of mine to hear.
In public?
In a, in a crowded area. I, I feel like it makes white people psychotic.
I, I used to like appreciate that song, but then someone said to me, I forgot who it was, but they were like, "That's the type of song you would have heard played at January 6th." And I'm just like, damn, like now, now you can't hear it.
Which song is, "I'll take a chainsaw and skin your ass raw."
That's what he says.
"I'll take a chainsaw and skin your ass raw." You know how?
Oh, that's Break Stuff.
You know how expertly? You need to maneuver a chainsaw to just skin someone slightly?
I mean, I think if you just like hit them in the ass with a chainsaw.
But that's not gonna skin them, that's gonna, that's gonna.
Cut them.
Lacerate them.
Right, lacerate.
Yeah, that's not so, you, like, it's like a, like a chef, you need to like.
Wait, I wanna, I don't wanna forget this, and I'm sorry that we're jumping to a completely different topic now, but you just reminded me when you said lacerate.
You ever see, like, a doctor use a scalpel and just cut open a person?
How the fuck?
Those things are sharp, dude.
A fucking apparently.
Yeah, those things are really sharp.
I, this is gonna sound so insane, and YouTube may never forgive me for this. But I, something about watching someone getting surgically cut open is cool.
You know what I mean?
And I don't think that I'm by myself, because sometimes they make the little gallery.
You know what's scary is that I know you're not by yourself, but you should be, in a padded room, behind a very, very securely locked door.
You don't think it's cool, for, for a doctor to just like?
Dude, dude, dude, dude, don't, don't, don't, don't do it there, dude.
What, oh, yeah, ew. Yeah, no, that's not what I was.
Can I go here?
Go here. Go top.
Top. Well, I don't know what they would be fixing.
To be fair, I don't know what they'd be fixing. Yeah, what the fuck? Well, whatever. Or like Tommy John, like here.
Sure.
Go in the elbow.
But just like, opening up a person is crazy.
It is crazy that we have gone to a place in science and the medical world that like, we can do that and just like, "Yeah, I'm confident."
Okay, this is gonna be, but I need you to be honest, right?
And I know...
I know that you're you, so you probably will be on my side. I don't know what side I'm on yet.
Just ask the fucking question.
Do you think, and now just, hold on, I have to preface this with some more information though, but like, after the schooling and all that, right? Do you think performing surgery is hard?
Are you crazy?
No, no, hear me out, hear me out. Are you absolutely out of your mind?
Hear me out, hear me out, hear me out. How many organs are there?
A lot, Joey.
How many?
There's a lot.
Do you know?
Can you give a roundabout? I have no idea. How many organs in our body?
Guess.
How many organs do we have?
Organs, organs, organs, organs, organs. I would say like, 88.
Oh dude, I was way below that.
Yeah, I was gonna say like...
Because there's like little ones that you don't know about, like the pituitary gland is an organ, skin is an organ.
Skin is an organ. I was gonna say like, 40 something?
Forty?
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Oh my god, this thing is blue balling me right now. Why is the wifi in here so tr-?
I know, I was just wondering that.
Uh, I don't know the answer yet. You know bones, though, how many bones the human body has?
Two hundred and six.
Two hundred and six, yes. I don't know why I know that one. But the organs, you never hear the organ question.
Yeah, because maybe people have some, some have more, some have less.
People get organs removed for different reasons and-
Bro, we're not talking about-
General, fine, fine, fine, fine.
Gall- bro, gall- gall-
And then some organs might have organs in them.
What does that mean?
Think of your intestines.
Wait, how many did you say?
Eighty-eight.
There's seventy-eight.
Oh!
Damn!
If you would've said seventy-eight, I would've just thrown a wild-
You would've thought, well, you would've thought that I was, that I had known and I wasn't telling you.
Oh, you would have, in my mind, been cheating, yes. Uh, but yeah, yeah.
Seventy-eight!
Let me, let me-
More than I thought! Very, very, very clearly and concisely-
Yes, I believe surgery is difficult.
I'm not saying it isn't. I'm just considering the possibility that maybe
it might be easier than we think.
Do you know, no. I mean, I'm sure if you go to fucking a dozen years of school in order to do a very specific surgery, like, there are obviously certain surgeries that are easier than others.
Like, you, you don't think that you could funnel the camera into a butt for a colonoscopy? Like, how hard is that?
I mean, if I was the butt funeller, I would just need someone to make sure I'm not, like, fucking anything up. Like, make sure I'm going the right way and shit like that, you know?
No, I thought that's-
If I'm doing the surgery, I should make sure, no, I'm not fucking anybody. Oh, no!
Yeah, no.
No, no, no, no, I like, I mean, I think-
I'm not trying to put down doctors. I know they're way smarter than me, and I know that.
What a sentence!
I think if anything, I think if anything-
I'm trying to put down-
I don't, I think if anything, this is me, I have such a, like, a- Have such a respect for doctors and I think that it's probably so difficult that now I'm like, maybe it's, maybe I'm making it way more difficult than it actually is.
I think it's probably more difficult because of the level of understanding that you have.
Right, but I'm thinking about like, open up a body, right? And I'm looking at intestines.
What kind of, but like what kind of surgery, like that's the thing.
Stomach, stomach.
Because like, brain surgery, can you imagine that shit?
Brain surgery, that's very difficult.
That's crazy dude.
That's a good one, that's a brain, that's hard.
Brain surgery is tough. Put, write that down.
Write that down, we cracked it.
We cracked the code.
Hey, but doctors, we're on your side.
We know that it's hard.
We're standing up for you.
If you're not a brain surgeon, uh, you know.
Yeah, someone that's like a foot surgeon.
Alright, dentist.
They're technically surgeons?
They are doctors and they are surgeons. Fill in a cavity though.
That's not surgery babe. That's just, you're just playing, you're playing around.
You're in there and you've got like a-
You're shaving ice.
You're shaving ice, that's exactly what you're doing. You're drilling into holes.
Just aimlessly.
Yeah, you're Bruce Willis.
I know that, I know that we're wrong.
I'm-
But I refuse to believe that it's anything other than-
Dentistry is, I-
Cause yeah, there's nerves and shit like that.
It's tough, only because the mouth only opens up so much.
Yeah, and also, there's only so-
We got big mouths.
Honestly, honestly, finite area, the mouth.
Like, this is, this is what dentists are concerned about. Right here.
Crazy.
Because you gotta include the gums.
And you gotta include, not even the tongue. Dentists don't care about the tongue, do they?
I have, I-
I'm sure they gotta learn about it.
I'm sure they've read about it.
But, such a finite area, you know? If you tell me that there's a, you know, a pin hidden somewhere in this room, I'll find it because it's not that big of a room.
Same thing with dentists.
I just think it's hard to get in there. Especially, some people have tiny mouths.
Some people do have tiny mouths, but that's when you put that like mouth jacker in there and then you-
Hmm, what's going on with you?
The mouth jacker.
Yep, what's that?
It like opens the mouth and keeps it open. I don't know what it's called.
I don't think I've ever had that.
You've never, you've never had your mouth jacked?
I've never been jacked in the mouth, no.
You got mouth jacked by your dentist?
I-
You got jacked. Say you got jacked.
I know-
That's why you don't exist. You got jacked? He jacked your mouth?
I ca- no, ta- take it easy, you're getting real-
You got jacked in your mouth!
By your dentist.
Real close, to where it could be questionable territory.
It's crazy.
I think, I think there have been, uh, there's been equipment placed by a doctor in my mouth.
But like, uh, they're not full on jacking my shit.
I mean, neither. You brought the jack, I didn't even know the jack-
I'm just saying, like, I know it exists. There are mouth jacks out there.
So funny.
Oh my god.
I'm just saying!
The other day-
Or this one. Did you ever get the, the, plastic?
That's kind of a jack!
No, cuz it's not really like, in my mouth. I don't know why that exists. Like, what's that for?
To see the teeth. I had one of those recently. I got my teeth whitened.
And they jacked you?
And they ja- well, they didn't jack me, they-
You got jacked!
We got him!
No!
They like-
Oh, they do the thing?
They do the thing, yeah. The thing with the, the, what'd you say, thing?
Cool.
Did they do the little light?
Yeah, I didn't like it very much.
What is that? UV?
And it just, what, it burn- it makes it-
It, so you put like, uh-
Like a paste?
It's like a paste on your teeth, but she was explaining that it's like a hydrochloric... Or like, some- something that like reacts with the light and it just like burns away like a layer or two of enamel?
Huh. Ooh.
It-
Is that good?
Becca, uh, my teeth, I, I, like, right at the end, I got like a fucking sting.
Ooh.
Oh yeah, it didn't feel good.
Dude, one time, I went to the dentist and I was getting Novocain. And he must've hit a nerve, because I felt a string of fire go from here, around my forehead, and through here. Like, shoo! And I was like, oh!
And the guy was like, oh, sorry!
I was like, dude, you just set my face on fire.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because right, right before he jacked it.
Frank, you're not getting out of this. You're not beating the jacking allegations.
You're, someone jacked it into your mouth.
Frank, first of all, now you're getting way too graphic. Second of all, no one was talking about jacking mouths until you showed up.
Cause there are mouth jackers, Joey, there are. That's like mouth jacks.
You seem very aware of the jack mouth.
Because I have eyes that have seen past my own human experiences, Joey. Maybe that's something you should understand.
Yeah, no, it's fine. It happened to someone else, a friend of mine. You were about to say you got jacked.
First of all, I don't think they need to jack you if they're whitening your teeth. I don't know what kind of dentist you're going to. We do have sponsors for today, by the way.
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You're back on your phone. Yeah, sorry, I was... Uh, and then make sure, "Hey, it's 2025, folks!" So maybe you're seeing this a little early and it's not, but it is to us. Patreon, Patreon.com/thefacemanyard. Thank you guys so much for the continued love and support that you give us on Patreon, and all over. Even if you're unable to be a patron, we completely understand. But, if you are a patron, thank you so much. Uh, you, you guys, your support has gotten us the opportunity to do some really, really cool stuff, and we're making some strides in a completely bigger and grander direction in order to give you guys more of what you love, which is us. So, in the time being, go to Patreon.com/thefacemanyard. You sign up for that first tier, you get weekly episodes, one week in advance. And then that second tier, well, you get exclusive episodes every single Friday,
where they're a little, they're kinda just a little off the walls and off the rails. Uh, we just did our, uh, if you're seeing this...
Uh, uh, live on YouTube, we did our yardies where it was like our, you know, our yearly awards that we do. And if you're seeing this on Patreon, well, then it's going to be out this weekend. So go check it out. Thank you so much for all the love, all the support. We're really excited for 2025. We want to thank you guys so much for everything from 2024 and before that and, you know, let's keep on rocking and rolling and keep this party going. You know what I'm saying?
I do know what you're saying.
I have no idea what you're saying.
We gotta keep the party going because we, who knows what's gonna happen, you know, because the, the bird flu is back.
Birds.
When was it here originally?
It was like a, it was a pandemic.
I remember swine flu that started in my high school.
Bird flu, yeah, that's right. Started in your high school.
I love telling people that.
That is a weird, that is a very strange.
A weird flex, right?
Isn't it? It oddly is.
Like swine flu, if you guys remember in this country, swine flu, it literally started at my high school.
They were the epicenter.
It was, that was the one that it, it was transmitted by.
Pigs.
Yes, but in particular, it was transmitted from human to human when like men of a certain older age would kiss people on the butt.
No, that's not how it happened, Frank. Apparently some of the seniors in my school, I don't remember what year.
Like kiss the pastors.
Like spin the bottle.
I think they went on vacation. I can't remember where they went, but then they picked up swine flu and brought it back to the state.
That's crazy.
Yeah, I don't, well luckily never got that.
Do you, did I tell you this? That like swine flu is when I started swallowing pills? That sounds insane to say.
That is crazy.
But like, no, but like that was when I first was like, okay, like an Advil or Tylenol.
I, I couldn't take them. Like I couldn't swallow pills. I'm still not great at it.
Yeah, that is, well, that, that actually, that makes sense because everyone in high school said that you were never good at swallowing. Uh, I, I used to be like that too. Um, but then I grew up.
You grew up and then your dentist jacked your mouth.
No, but seriously, apparently California, like the governor, like issued a state of emergency over.
What does that mean, by the way?
Everyone!
Like, what is a state of emergency?
I'm sure there's like-
I'm sure, I'm sure.
There are actual things that accompany that.
Of course, you can't just like say-
You can't just say it.
Like, there's an emergency that we know.
We, yeah, but like, there's like, I'm sure like certain protocols that like if you declare a state of emergency, like you have like the autonomy, you like give up power to certain agencies to like do some stuff.
That was the big conspiracy, which is a big word nowadays, behind, uh, like COVID. Is that people believed it was just a way to transfer power to the CDC. So the CDC can just like do whatever they want and the CDC is, you know, funded by the lizard people. And the lizard people are sucking the butts of, you know, like it's-
And if it is true, uh, then the lizards won. And like, what are we gonna do?
Yeah, you wanna fight a lizard person?
I had lizards when I was younger. They're gross.
I did too. My cat ate them.
I watched them. Your cat ate lizards?
Yep.
Wait, you had lizards and your cat ate your pets?
Yeah. Yeah.
First I'm hearing about that.
No, I think I've told you this before. Yeah, our neighbor had two iguanas, gave it to us.
Wait, ate an iguana?
Two of them, yeah.
Frank, an iguana?
They weren't that big yet. They were little iguanas.
Iguanies.
You know, they were, they were-
Iguanillos.
Yeah, because they're one of those animals that like they'll adapt to their habitats, or if they're in a bigger environment, they'll get bigger.
But they were both like this big. And my cat, we, we kept them in like that back computer room. You remember that room downstairs?
We kept them down there. We always made sure we closed the door before going in.
You kept your iguanas in a back room in a basement?
Yep. Yeah.
Thank god they're dead.
Well, they had a heat lamp, they had food, like they were great, they were hanging out. But my cat would just sit there at the door, patient.
He's like, I'm gonna eat a lizard.
She was fucking ready.
And one day, I was woken up at like 3 a.m. by my mom screaming. Then I went upstairs and she like, she goes, look over there. And it was my cat with one of the tails hanging out of her mouth.
Wait, how'd your mom know this happened at 3am?
Because, uh, the, so cats have a thing that they do, and I think dogs do this too, is like, when they do something like that, like they'll kill an animal or something, they'll like, present it to you.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Like, yo, like, for you!
Oh, so you, your cat ate an iguana, then put the other one in its mouth, and was like, check this out.
And brought it to my mom, yeah?
Disgusting.
Yeah, no wonder that cat got mouth cancer.
Yeah, that could've been it.
That could've been it.
It was either the cigarettes or the iguanas.
I can confirm one of those were in her mouth.
But, can you eat iguanas?
Hmm, I wouldn't.
Maybe if you boiled it.
Have you eaten, I've eaten snake and crocodile. Have you?
If this is a jerky thing, this doesn't count.
I've eaten crocodile.
With jerky?
No, snake with jerky, and, and kangaroo with jerky, and crocodile with jerky.
Yeah, I've had all the jerkeys in the world too. I'm not gonna be like, oh, I had kangaroo.
No, no, but when we were in, um, when we were in, uh, uh, Key West, I had conch.
You had an alligator?
I had conch and I had gator.
I remember conch.
Yeah, I had conch and gator.
How was the conch?
Uh, chewy. And the gator was fine, honestly.
What is conch? I thought, is that like a sea dwelling?
It's the shell, it's the shell phone, you know?
You mean a shell?
It's not the shell, but like, what's in it. All those shells have like, animals in them, dude.
Yeah, yeah. Oh, was this you I was having this conversation with?
I think so.
About shells?
Yeah, what the hell are shells?
Yeah, and you're like, they're just houses.
They're houses for animals.
We still don't know if that's true or not, but he was right.
It, it is true.
I got big shells.
Where'd you get big shells? Where did that come from? What do you mean you got big shells?
Remember my mom's house, out on the deck, they had those two big white shells?
Yeah, yeah.
I used to hold them up.
That's a conch!
I'll tell, yeah, yeah, I'll tell you this. You know what they're like, you can hear the ocean? I learned that that wasn't the ocean.
But it sounds like it.
Well, into my late teens, which is extremely old for that.
I'll be honest with you, I, I think I was like, later than that. I might've been like, 24 when I figured that out.
And it's just like, no, that's sound just bouncing around the shell.
Well, not even just sound bouncing around the shell, but like, it's the sound of like, your blood in your head.
You've never been like Frankie?
Let me tell you something right now. I'm gonna look it up after this conversation is over, but I'm telling you with my whole ass that I'm pretty positive that is not it at all.
No, I think, I mean, I'm sure it is a collection of sounds, but you can hear the, the, the blood in your body if you, if it's quiet enough.
You think I'm crazy?
Yes, no! You can hear the blood in your body? What are you, a bat?
Uh, uh, no, Joey, can you hear your own blood rushing?
While most people don't normally hear their blood rushing, a condition called pulsatile tinnitus, uh-oh.
We're, uh, we're finding something out about Frankie, maybe?
No, you're just, you're just, you just thought that that's what it was.
It can cause individuals to perceive a whooshing or thumping sound in their ears that aligns with their heartbeat, essentially allowing them to hear their blood flowing, but it is, uh, not.
But Frank, this is not what we're looking up. What we're looking up is when you lift a shell to your ear, you think, oh, it's not just sounds, it's your own blood that you're hearing.
But it's a collection of other stuff, too.
You know what you do when you're younger? You have an idea, where you're like, this must be that. And then, something as stupid as like, holding a shell, you haven't thought about that in so long? So what was true to you when you were probably 12, is now what you're going with? Like, it's blood that I'm, I'm hearing my own blood in a shell.
You know what, then, I'm gonna revert back to hearing that it is the ocean. Because of its-
That'd be nice.
That would, that would be, let me live, like, we brought it up last time, Shutter Island, babe.
Yeah!
Let me think I'm a cop playing dress up and chew, chew, pew, pew, you know what I'm saying?
I agree.
Like, let me believe it's my, my, the, what I hear is the blood rushing within my head.
You know, one time, I thought I heard a whale in a shell?
Yeah, I, no, I do, I do believe that.
I'm just like, yo. Like, I'm thinking it's connected!
Well, that's what the magic is, dude. Is that the ocean is always with us.
How much greater was life when you believed in magic stuff like that? This shell is what, connected to another shell in the middle of the ocean? I'm just hearing it? I believe that.
I have to say this.
Why can't we just believe the things that we believed as kids into our adulthood?
Why do we have to know stuff?
Why do we need to grow up? And like, people need to like, beat it into us, like, "You need to know the truth." Like, "No, I fucking don't."
Why do we need to know anything?
We don't need to know a damn thing.
We need to know some things, but maybe we could know way less.
Do I really need to know where conch shells come from?
Do I really, do I really need to know that's not the, that's that, that it's not an actual horn that I'm blowing? When I put my mouth to it?
Did I tell you about my dad with the horn?
My dad! I was, I shot a vlog years ago, mad long ago.
I don't think the video is still up on YouTube.
Thank god.
Uh, but, I was in, on the deck, at my mom's house, and they had, they had a baby next door, in the yard. You could hear the baby crying in the background. My dad called me, dude. You don't know this story?
My dad called me, and he goes, "Do you know what that is?" And I was like, "What are you talking about?" He's like, "That sound, at this point in the video, you hear that?" I go, "Yeah." And he goes, "Do you know what that is?"
It's a baby!
I said, "It's a baby." And he goes, "No, it's not." And I go, "Go ahead."
And he goes, "Joe, that's an ancient horn. They've been hearing it all over the world." I said, "Dad, it's a baby crying." I looked at the baby and its face.
Why, why did your dad think this?
He, it was just conspiracy rabble.
Oh, oh my god, is he-
An ancient, dude, can you imagine how excited I was to hear that my dad thought an ancient horn made it into my fucking YouTube vlog? I was like, "It's a baby!"
Do you hear that?
He's like, "You hear that?"
That's the, that's the horn that's signaling the fogs of Fimblewinter.
Basically, and then, I love that as soon as I was like, "Oh, it's this, I have all the information, I saw the baby," I become dumb. No.
That's what, I can't keep up with it.
No, it's not.
I can't, I don't know.
It's a horse.
When this comes out, I don't know if they're still around. If we have an answer yet to what those drones in New Jersey are.
Ah.
But I, I can't, I can't anymore. I cannot. The new one, the new one is that it's, they're plasma balls and plasmoids that they're chasing. I can't, I can't, I can't. No, they're balls. The drones are just looking for fucking balls. I'll show you some balls.
Hey.
Yeah, yeah. Lee shit, he's all, hey!
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I think we would be remiss to not talk about Luigi.
Ha!
We haven't talked about Luigi.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Not that Luigi.
I know, I know, but he probably has said that since this haul has went down.
Luigi's such a funny name to me.
I love it because the only Luigi people know is just like Luigi, Luigi, Luigi, you know what I'm saying? Like Luigi Mario from the Mario Brothers.
What's this guy's name? His name's like?
Luigi Mangione.
Mangione.
It can't, it could not be.
More Italian.
You know, and...
This guy has, like, this is a pizza making.
If you told me that was the name of that pizza, that plump pizza guy that's outside of every pizza place, you know, that's holding, I'd be like, yeah, of course that's who, that's who that is. Luigi Mangione.
I almost stole one of those from my house once. I didn't though, because it was too heavy.
You should have, honestly.
I know, I was in, this was my klepto phase.
Are you, from what, age eight until 28? What do you mean, my klepto phase?
No, I didn't steal in my twenties, that was literally just a teenage thing.
Try to think if I stole.
I mean, I've watched you steal candy.
Yeah, when we were kids.
That's what I, that's what.
It's a rite of passage.
I was stealing.
It's a rite of pa- oh.
Oh, yeah, no, that one, yeah, I was driving a car, so I was at least eighteen.
Yeah, do you remember the night, I don't know if you remember this, but it was our, our friend Danny's nineteenth birthday. We went out to a place in a store that's no longer there called Rapture.
What the fuck, what is that?
It was on, it was on like, man, it was on like thirty, it was like twenty-eighth Avenue and like thirty-third Street or something like that. Uh, but we went, it was Halloween, we all, yeah, everyone was like dressed up, drinking, Danny got really, really, really drunk. And me, you, who are, are, one of our DDs, like whoever the DD was for the night, and another one of our friends who I will not name to not self-incriminate. Not, not self-incrim- not incriminate them, we drove around like Whitestone and stole all those lawn signs that were just like so-and-so for senate. And so-and-so for city council, and then we put them all in our friend's front yard.
Yeah, it was a good old time.
I actually missed that, I wasn't there for that.
Yeah, you were.
No, I wasn't.
Yeah, I wasn't there that night, I was so mad.
Damn.
Yeah, I did see the aftermath.
You fucked up.
I know.
That was a good night, but, uh, yeah, this guy Luigi Manjone, the only thing he's stealing right now is the hearts of some people.
Some, I would say pretty much all.
There's a couple people that are pretty.
People are showing up free Luigi.
Which is hysterical, you know.
I don't know why the word Luigi is so funny to me, Luigi. By the way, the way that I spelled Luigi over there.
L E W I G I?
Okay, no, L U I G I E.
I mean, that's not that.
It was right there.
That's not that bad.
I mean, it's not right.
That's Luigi. That's multiple Luigi's.
Or it's Luigi, but different.
Manjone.
I will say this.
The photo of him like he like he's getting arrested like a fucking Marvel villain.
Like he's on a dock. Oh, didn't you say like, yo, why are all the police over there when you drove here, remember? Didn't you say that to me?
That's where he was. When you're like, yo, why are they all about the docks?
Really?
Yeah, that's what he was on the, you didn't see the picture?
He was on the dock like walking in and it was like would look like a hundred police officers behind.
Yeah, which doesn't make any sense.
Too much.
It's also funny that like people are saying, you know, like the NYPD is like taking all the credit for catching this guy when he didn't get caught by the NYPD.
Yeah, we should be thanking McDonald's.
Uh, or the-
For catching this guy and for killing us slowly for this many years.
Yeah, well.
No, uh-
I think the, the, I think it was Altoona, Pennsylvania, the police over there, maybe they should get some praise, Joey? Give it to us normal folks for once. That's why, that's why they voted, you know, they didn't vote for big business Dems this year, Joey. Get them, guys. Come in. Uh, he's right here.
You love doing that.
Doing what?
You just pointed your expensive watch at me while trying to make it like-
What? No, I didn't.
Um-
Shut the fuck up, Joey.
Shut the fuck up. Uh. You know what I thought was interesting? When I'm like, ooh, this is kinda crazy. They're, uh, charging him with like terrorism?
Yeah, I mean technically, yeah.
Demonetized?
Uh, yeah, before when you talked about-
What did I talk about?
Cutting open humans was cool, wasn't the demonetization?
Yeah, I mean, I was dancing around it. I didn't say it so, you know, crazy like use of the algorithm to pick it up. I was trying to like throw in some other words.
Oh, you were throwing it unaliving and you know?
Yeah, corn.
Yeah, corn, lacerating. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I feel, I hear you.
Um, but yeah, I thought that was interesting because then people were like, yo, someone like fucking kills like five people. And then it's like, alright, this person's going to jail, but now you're getting charged for terrorism.
Yeah, I mean, it, it is absolutely crazy. I will say though, that's one of the hardest pictures I've seen in a while.
It's a really cool picture.
Where this guy, and did you hear who is his prison mate? He's in the same prison right now in Brooklyn.
Oh, yeah, with, um, Diddy.
Shit, I didn't know that.
Dude, someone, I can't take credit for it. Someone quote tweeted that, like, part of the article. I'm just like, they really are making this fucking Arkham Asylum, like, just like, all of New York's worst. I think it was the same one that, like, I think, uh, what's his name? Not Harvey, uh... Your boy Epi. I don't like those, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Who's Epi?
Epstein.
He was there?
I think he was.
I don't even know where this is.
Maybe not, but nonetheless, like, it's becoming like Arkham Asylum. Created by Amadeus Arkham, obviously, and then, you know, the raft, which is the, basically, the, uh, Marvel equivalent, which is the super, well, no, the raft, yeah, so the raft is like the superpowered prison, no?
Too much, too much, yeah.
Come on.
The raft is the prison on water.
Name five Batman villains that would be in Arkham Asylum.
The Penguin.
You immediately lost.
He wouldn't?
Penguin, actually, in the comics, historically, doesn't go to Arkham, because he's not insane, he's just a criminal. Yes, there you go.
Come on, you're right there.
Who, oh, uh, uh, what's her name?
Who's the, who's Margot Robbie? Fuck, what's her name?
Are you kidding me?
Give me the first letter.
No, it's too easy.
Oh, something...
What's her name?
This is crazy.
This is actually bad, because I do know who it is.
Alright, so go other ones then, forget her.
I copped to fixated now, now I can't, I can't leave this thing.
You've committed.
It's two words.
Fuck, what is that woman's name? She's...
Riding a motorcycle.
Riding a motorcycle. She's riding a motorcycle?
Well...
Harley, Harley Quinn.
There you go.
That would have hurt me a lot.
Yeah, I saw the pain, honestly.
So that was two?
Yeah, there you go, it was two.
Then we have...
And Harley Quinn, actually, Harleen Quinzel, who is the character, was a doctor at Arkham Asylum first, you know, but, well, I gotta tell them that.
I wasn't even listening.
Uh, I kinda.
Penguin.
I fucking said Penguin!
I know, you're wrong. Two-Face. Killer Croc. Mr. Freeze.
Who's Killer Croc?
Killer Croc, Waylon Jones? You don't know Killer Croc? He looks like a big-
You thought giving me his government name was going to help me? Is this a crocodile man?
Uh, he has a skin condition and-
Oh, that's mean.
Yeah, and he was like part of- it is actually pretty mean, like the actual story of it, yeah.
Yeah, well, they all are, aren't they? It's like, oh, just try to understand the villain.
He became like a full-on villain, you know, and then, you know.
Killed a bunch?
Yeah, there's a ton of people you could put in there.
When you really think about, like, in the grand scheme of like Ark- or Gotham, what's the difference?
Yeah, well Gotham is the city, Arkham is the place, like the, the, the mental institution.
The asylum.
Okay, so Gotham, uh...
I, you fe- I feel terrible for these people who live there, there's always just some crazy-
Yeah, there's always like, it's like tomorrow, there's a clown putting gas in your makeup.
And it's like, we've just held-
Just get out, guys!
The whole city is held hostage? Bro, soon as this is over, move.
Well, a lot of people don't have that opportunity, but after the sixth attack by a supervillain-
I'm moving.
Get out!
Like, I'm sorry.
Yeah, no, I'm with you there, but the prison is currently holding Luigi and Diddy.
That is wild.
You know, and if any of the potential allegations and rumors about Diddy are true, they might be having a good old time in there.
Frank, they're not gonna be able to see each other.
You think they're in solitary confinement?
Not in like some like gen pop?
No, they're not gonna let them pop.
You don't think so?
No way.
Uh, I will say, there should be like, you should pay for a photo op like that one that he got.
Yeah, that was a crazy photo, uh, which is crazy, cause it, it beat out, uh, the Trump one.
Yeah, Frank. What a year for pictures, dude.
I mean, there's two.
Can you name good pictures from any other year?
That's a good point.
That's what I'm saying, you know, and this isn't a joke.
One of the last pictures I really remember was twenty-three years ago.
Frankie.
Um, it's not a joke, like that's the like, I can't think of any like famous pictures after that.
Something with Obama.
He was all video.
No, he was the poster.
The poster, but it's not a picture.
It said, "Hope."
Oh, maybe some sports stuff, there were some sport pictures.
I'm sure there were.
Yeah, there, there were pictures.
Do you think Luigi's photo is better than Trump's photo?
Man, there, I gotta admit, both of them are pretty sick.
The Luigi photo is a banger, though.
The Luigi one is sick because it's-
It's more contrast.
Like, that's what you would see as like the cover of like, a really good hip-hop album. You know what I'm saying, like a really good debut album? And then there's just like, you know, it's like, oh shit. And he's got like all the people behind him, Eric Adams is back there trying to get whatever goodwill he can out of this whole situation. Yeah, it ain't gonna, it ain't gonna work.
It gonna happen, cuz.
Um, but then the Trump one was pretty sick cuz he was bleeding.
I wish he was bleeding more.
Joey. There goes that third monetization strike.
Damn it, no, but I mean like, it would look cooler if it was like, really gone.
If we're talking like-
By the way-
Ric Flair-
Speaking of Trump. Did you see he has a new haircut?
It's somehow worse than his previous haircut.
Someone said that he looked like Max's mom from It's Always Sunny.
I, I, I'm not kidding, I don't think that there's ever been a more accurate joke to be made.
He does, he does look like her, he's got like-
He's got the mullet.
He's got like, it's like here, like it's, uh-oh, well, there goes the Illuminati reference.
Oh, you're like, oh, it's like here.
Like doing everything. I don't even know how to do.
What are you doing?
Why do the Illuminati have triangles? Come here, come on, give us back triangles, guys. Fuck.
By the way, have you looked at a dollar bill? The triangle and the I are on it.
Yeah, that's where it all, like, everyone is, it's on every dollar.
I think, right?
Do you remember the, the?
I do, I know what you're saying.
Tits of Erica?
You don't remember that?
Who's that?
Uh, there was like, if you fold, like, the back of a twenty dollar bill, instead of saying, "United States of America," it'll say, "Tits of Erica."
And then, like, the one where it's like, "Oh, look, if you fold it this way, this isn't a joke. If you fold it this way, it looks like where the towers got hit."
Yeah, like the towers burning. I've done that.
That's, yeah, and then you've seen Batman and the, and the Batmobile on a five.
Yeah, there's a bunch of those weird ones.
I know the, the Lando Lakes butter, you fold it so it looks like her boobs are out.
On what?
The butter package?
On Lando Lakes.
Yeah, when they had the, uh,
Native American. Which one? I don't know if that's bad.
Wow, you guys, hold on, Joey's getting cancelled for saying Native American.
Indigenous?
Buy Lando Lakes, buy Lando Lakes butter.
Indi-
The one with the biggest knockers.
The fattest titted butter you could find.
She's on her knees, and like, presenting the title of Lando Lakes. I think they took her off.
Uh, I hope, yeah.
But then you fold it, and it looks like her boobs.
Actually, I might. I mean, chances are, if it was around when we were kids, I did it.
And was pumped about it.
You know? I, I remember all those. I remember, I remember the one that I used to do was in, and it's weird that this is just right here for this, but like, the, I would put right on the board, the L A O Club. And I would like, ask teachers, like, "Are you in the L A O Club?"
And they'd say, like, "What, what do you mean, L A O Club?"
You would do this to your teacher?
The L A O Club?
Yeah, the L A O Club.
What is it?
And they'd be like, "What?" And I'd be like, "Are you in the L A O Club?"
Oh, she's gonna say.
And then they'd be like, "No?" And then they'd be like, "All right, well, the joke's ruined." But if you turn it upside down, it's like a person jerking off.
You did that to your teachers?
You were, and you sho- and you-
I wouldn't know, I wouldn't show them that. I would just, I would just leave and they'd say no. It was like an inside joke with the boys. Like, the boys knew what it meant.
Yeah, you wanted to know if your teacher was in the jerk-off club.
Unbelievable stuff.
Well, I'm sorry. What did you do in school that was so cool? Fucking twelve Hail Marys? Pray to your daily bread?
That's not how the-
Get fucking-
Don't, don't do that. We can't handle another demontoration. L A O Club. That's so stupid, but it's so funny.
Oh, man. See, I can tell you this right now. If you were doing that in front of me,
I'd be losing it.
You'd be laughing hard, dude. It would be so funny.
You know, that's, that was back when teachers were allowed to teach and laugh.
Do you remember?
Now, that would be a fucking-
You'd go home early that day.
Go home early. I'd go home forever and then get home and go to the big home upstairs forever.
Oh, man. I was just gonna say something and now I forgot. Fuck!
Yeah, too bad, bitch. There it goes. See you later.
I will say that I, I, if-
Oh, sorry. It was gonna, I was gonna say like, that kinda shit, or when you were younger, and someone came up to you and was like, "Yo, do you like this or that?" You always knew. You're like, "One of these answers means I'm fucking gay." So like, which one is it?
Well, someone did that to me once when they were like, "How do you look at your nails?" And I was like, "What do you mean?" And I was just like, how, they're like, "How do you look at your fingernails?"
Yeah, like, "Look at your nails."
And there's either this way, or there's this way, and both were-
Gay.
Gay. I got called gay for both of them.
So-
What's the straight way to look at your nails? You don't and you let them get dirty?
But it's like, yeah, I remember that one too. It was like, "Oh, I don't know, I like that." And she's like, "Yo, you're gay!" And you run away. And I'd be like, "Wait. I'm not gay."
Yeah. Joey was the type where someone would like, send him a note that says, "Do you like me, yes or no?" And he would circle "or."
Frank, I did that a lot.
I know you did.
Or.
You would probably do that too. No, no one ever sent me a note asking me if I liked them.
It's true. It is true. I never real-
No one's ever handed you a note? I don't believe that.
No, they've handed me notes a hundred, a hun- thousand times. But like, I wasn't-
Take it easy, Brad Pitt. Thousand notes.
No, I need, I'd get notes 'cause I'd talk to people. I'd talk. I was a talker. Okay?
But like, no, like, and this is seriously true.
And I say this to Becca too, and you kinda know this, like, there weren't girls that like had crushes on me, and made it known. If they did, they, but like, I had like, a girl that I liked, and someone liked me, and then...
We were the most passionate, you know, uh, boyfriend and girlfriend in sixth grade.
Frank, tons of people had crushes on you.
Not, especially in middle school. Especially. I don't think so, dude. I really, and I'm not, I'm not joking around. Like, I really don't think so.
You heard his voice.
I'm not joking around. No. I, stop now.
I'm getting fucking, like I'm a child now.
And how would you know? You didn't know any of the people I went to middle school with.
Bro, what do you mean? I would show up there, I'm on AIM. I get the lowdown from you.
You were, you were on AIM. You were on AIM.
We went to a few parties.
You did, that's right.
Like, three.
One of our favorite, one of my favorite memories with you, because it is the dumbest thing in the world.
Oh, God.
The dumbest, dumbest, dumbest thing in the world, and I know you'll remember this.
Is it dumber than the LA O'Clough?
It's, it's, it's up there. Is, um, you and I went to, there was a girl in my middle school that had a crush on me, and one of her friends had a crush on you. We went to her birthday party at her house. We took the train there on like a Saturday evening at like 5pm or something. And as a birthday present, we got an empty shoebox, and we filled it with just like, five slices of white bread. And we gave it to her.
I remember this vividly.
Because at the time, we, we would just say bread at random points in time, and we thought it was the funniest thing ever.
Yo.
And, uh, we gave it to her. And she opened it, and we went, "Bread."
And no one laughed, probably.
We laughed.
We, probably.
And we made, we made a living making each other laugh, so I think we're okay.
Yeah, that was a...
I'll tell you who did not laugh. I'll tell you who did not laugh.
Her?
Hmm.
Who was it?
I remember. I'm not gonna say the person's name.
I don't know that if you know how questions work.
What was her name? I know it.
I'm, I'm not gonna say the person's name.
Is it like a...
It's a very common name.
So then, is it Mohammed?
It is Mohammed. It was Mohammed.
Uh, the most common name.
Yeah, well, you know.
I'm gonna give you...
Do you have any more clubs?
Not that I can remember.
You know what I do remember going through a phase of Lana?
Yeah Lana was a big phase.
Lana was one where it's like yo, you do you like Lana? Oh.
You know who it is now?
Uh, I don't know why you're hiding.
There was a girl in my high school, her name was Lana.
And you're like, oh, your name is Anal Back.
Way to go Lana!
Do you ever look at your name in the mirror and then realize it says Anal?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Stupid.
Yeah, whatever.
Being a kid is fun.
It is the most fun.
And we-
It's when the magic was.
Are really appreciative that we get to remember how much of being a kid we were.
Yeah, what?
Such a random thing to say.
I'll be honest, I don't even know how I formulated that sentence.
Yeah, me neither. I think it's starting to get to that point.
Yeah, but.
Anyway.
I, I, you, you have made a good point and we'll leave the episode on this. What is the better picture, the Trump picture? Regardless of how you feel about Trump's politics and personal and everything that tells you that he may not be-
His record.
Yeah, every, everything, uh, to suggest he's not a good person. Also Luigi.
Regardless of how you feel, he is a murderer allegedly.
Mm-hmm. We don't know.
We don't know there yet. He, he pled not guilty.
My favorite honestly is seeing those comments, "This doesn't even look like him." I'm like, "It looks something."
It looks, honestly-
Even if it's like-
Yeah. But the eyebrows, they're different and it's like, okay, alright.
This is a security camera.
Yeah, so. Go, uh, what's the better picture? I think that's a really good question to leave people on.
Really gets crazy. I think the better question is, do you think Limp Bizkit holds up as much as Frankie thinks it holds up?
The music?
Did you do it all for the nookie?
The nookie.
Huh?
So you could take that cookie.
And?
And we'll see you next time.
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