The Basement Yard
Original podcast
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18,547 words · 6 speakers
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Welcome back to the basement.
Welcome back to the basement yard. How's it going Frank?
I'm good. How's it going lead singer of Weezer?
I fucking got him, so good by the way.
That's not very, that's not very Christmas season like.
Hey, how's it going?
Give me some more. Hassan Piker? That's a good one. You look like him right now.
Yeah.
You know?
I can see you searching for more.
You can see the gears turning here, right?
I fucked up my eye. I put lotion in it 3 days in a row.
What?
Mistakes were made.
How? How did you put lotion in your eye?
I have this lotion that I put underneath my eyes and it was getting into the corner of my eye and then it kept burning it and I thought it was my contacts but then I realized I'm getting lotion in my eyes. So my eye's been red for like 3 days.
What, like you were like squirting lotion?
No, no, no. It's like a cream that goes underneath right here. It's just for this part of your eye.
Oh, it's like...
And then it was like seeping into the corner and it like fucked up. You see how my eye's like a little red? Like it was, it was a lot more red.
So you're applying lotion to your eye? And then it just gets in your eyeball and it fucks up your, your whole vision?
Yeah. I was getting too close to the corner.
You were getting too close.
The corner was sucking in all the lotion.
So you were like... Getting lotion in your eye?
So far, two for two.
Come on.
Come on, I mean, that's easy. That's low hanging fruit there, baby. The fruit's just right in front of your face, low hanging and batting you around in the eyes.
I don't know about that, but that's why I wear my glasses, because...
Um...
That's what Google told me.
Is, like, that's, like, that's, what's that, what's that style? There's like a, that's, that's a style, it's like horn-rimmed? Or something like that?
Whoa, dude.
Is that not it? Uh-oh. What did I say?
Horn-rimmed?
Horn-rimmed glasses, is that not...
You're gonna make a joke about lotion, but not horn-rimmed? Come on.
Yeah, yeah, that's fair. That's fair. But do you, like, is that like the only, like, style that you have? Because I feel like I've only seen you with that style glasses.
No, these are new.
Really?
I got these like, a couple months ago, but I was, I wore the same pair for so long.
Your employer got that vision insurance too, right?
Yeah, hell yeah, I'm talking about that shit.
Um... But, uh, you don't even wear glasses, really.
What, the right, yeah.
Those are fake.
You look like...
Why do you?
You, you, your glasses look like your name was Curly and you were beat up at the local uh, uh, diner in the 50s.
Three for three. Three for three. Um...
I'm, I'm...
See?
Yeah, my body...
I'm putting a spell on you now.
My body, my body gave up.
Putting a spell on you now.
Um, but, no, you, you look, you look, whatever.
Appreciate it. Um, it's the Christmas season also, and it's got some gifts over there.
Uh, what?
I was gonna say, those are immacul...
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...
Now, is there one for me and one for Frank, or both for me?
Do you want both?
Yes, now, for some reason he, you said that in a way that makes me think that one of those things is offensive. So I would say give them both. Oh, are they offensive? Or are they gonna hurt?
No, no, no, they're real gifts. I just wanted to say like, thank you guys for everything.
Wait, hold on, is this real? Oh shit. Are you being sweet or are you being asshole? Yeah, no, no, no, I don't know here. Is he being real nice guy? Are you setting up asshole?
No, I'm not, I'm not.
Stop showing asshole here.
I'm just like, I'm coming up on, like, producing here for a year, like, in like a couple months.
What? Yeah, dude, where are you?
Yeah, dude, my, like, ba- my year birthday is coming up.
Yeah, in a couple months.
One year of Ant on camera. Am I crazy? Yeah, I mean. Not, not camera, though, right? Yeah.
No, that's probably, that's probably.
I think it started at the exact same time.
At least my voice, my voice on here for about a year, at least, like.
At first, I feel like it was very light. Now, we can't get you to shut up.
I.
You see how, and I get in trouble. First of all, you're trying to dig yourself out of a hole. You're in timeout. Second of all. I'm not in timeout, I'm breaking out. I'm, I'm broken out of timeout.
He's doing that while I have, I'm presenting gifts.
Yeah, this is very sweet. So this is a seriously sincere thing. Like, you're not being like, ha, ha, here's a fucking. We'll shut up now. And you do your, say.
No, no, it was just.
Say how great we are.
It was just thank yous. Thank you to you two and thank you to everybody who accepted me here. I have gifts.
What did you say to the people that didn't accept you? We also don't know if they have accepted you technically. Yeah, that's true.
We kinda, yeah, we kinda forced it upon everybody.
In theory, you kinda just shoved, you got, you got shoved down the throats of these people. It is true, yeah.
Would you like the gifts?
I would love them, yes. Oh, sure. I, so. Who's gonna get the bigger one? I, I imagine you. Oh, I got the big one! Yeah, I saw that coming. Oh, it feels like a book. You need to overca- if that's a book, what, brother? Like a big Santa book. Can I just say this? Exceptionally well wrapped, great. Whoa, this is. Thick wrapping paper. Yo, the wrapping paper here is crazy, dude. And something tells me. Oh, this is framed. It's a frame. You didn't wrap this.
No, I didn't.
You absolutely didn't wrap this. Um, I gotta say, congrats on the wrap. It looks great. This is expensive wrapping paper. That's how you know it's been a good year. This is good, yeah. This isn't some, like, you can't poke a hole in this, baby. No, I mean, you can, uh, but is there, like, a specific order as to who should open theirs first? I love that question, cause it's, that's how you open gifts.
Um, I guess you, I guess you should open it first. I don't even know.
I don't like that.
I don't know how, how much you'll like.
Wait, I'm smelling a Christmas tree. Is this scented?
Yo, am I, am I bugging?
Mine smells like, like chemicals.
You have to scratch it first, scratch and sniff.
Nah, nah, now you're fucking with me.
I was.
But it, but, yo, am I bugging?
Yo, it low-key smells like pine.
Uh, and we know he doesn't have a real tree, and that ain't one.
That ain't, yeah.
Well, if you have a fake tree, you put the pine-scented sticks in it.
I know, and I hate it so much. I think that's so me. Alright, so I'm supposed to go first.
Pop it open.
You go first. Imagine it's just...
Oh, he's one of these. You know, it's interesting, we're gonna see how people open gifts.
Frankie, you could, you could...
You, you can, it's okay.
I'm kidding, I'm not that person.
Yeah, okay, you're taking her dress off, very slow. Oh, what is it?
Oh, that's cool!
What is it?
It's Smokey Eats an Electronic Cocktail Smoker Kit.
Whoa!
Smoke 'em if you got 'em, and boy, do I got 'em.
You talked about how you like a smoky whiskey and a...
Hell, I said that recently, you're good!
Wow, he pays attention.
Yep, I do.
Oh! So we got different smokes.
So we got...
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Peach. Is this like hookah? Oh, it's just wood.
Yeah, you put the wood in the machine and it...
Oh, hell yeah, you know, I love that peach one.
That's a great gift!
Can I start smoking stuff now? Pecan? Oak? Apple?
Wow.
Cherrywood?
Tell him that he has to have a glass of whiskey tonight and send you a video.
Oh, that'd be cool.
Oh, in the bath?
You don't have to, though.
I mean, I, I will.
I mean, you shouldn't electronically smoke in the bath. Just in case.
I mean, I imagine these are battery-operated?
Yeah, yeah, you just, you put it in the top, you, you, and then it does it automatically on your glass.
That's beautiful.
I'm breaking things already. This is really thoughtful, thank you so much, man, I, I really, really appreciate that, that's... I fucked that up.
It's very sweet.
Uh, it is incredibly kind. Now, see, what the fuck, Ant? Why can't you be like mean?
Why can't you be mean?
I wanna start smoking shit now!
Smoke up.
Oh, and it comes with some recipes.
The Godfather.
What's that?
Oh, it sits like this.
On the glass.
On the glass, so it's...
Yeah, and then it spits out the smoke.
Amaretto, sorry, you lost me, not a big amaretto guy. Scotch, back in.
Whoa.
And that's it.
Nice. Yeah. Yeah. That's all you need.
I guess so. Dragon's Breath?
Excuse me? Is that illegal?
Bourbon, Saint Germain, triple sec. Hell yeah.
Who's having a glass of triple sec?
And a smoked espresso teeny. You're in.
Alright, what's going on over there?
That's really cool. Thank you, man. That's very thoughtful.
That's nice.
Very appreciative. Thank you so much.
Hmm, alright, let's find out what's in here. I'm gonna get right under her dress.
Wait, did you ask?
Oh shit.
Oh, I'm opening this perfectly because it's the back.
That's smart.
So I get two surprises.
I mean, a good wrapper is going to put it on the right way, too.
Oh, and there's some hanging material, there's some...
Ready?
Oh, I think, I thought you were supposed to show the crowd first.
I got you some wall art. It's called "The Perfect Martini."
That is awesome. I love that.
I am putting, I know exactly where this is going in my apartment.
Does the colorway work?
I got it in an apartment space? Yeah. Oh, I love that. I have like a little, like a thing, and now I can put this above it. That's what I thought. It's perfect. You got a lighter? Anyone got a lighter? I'm about to light this bitch. You know how perfect this is, actually? I do have like these color accents in my apartment, so it's...
Works in, transition, seamless transition into the colorway.
Thank you, man. Yeah, of course.
That's awesome.
You're thoughtful. I'm a big fan of shit like this, that's like, I feel like sometimes with people with gifts, it's like very, very personalized, and there's not a lot of utility. Mm-hmm. This is nice. That is nice. These are great gifts. Yeah.
You're a good gift guy.
You're a gift, gift, good gift.
Good gift guy.
You're a good gift, good, good gift.
Good for you for being a good gift guy. You know?
I'm glad you enjoyed.
I am gonna smoke the shit out of this bitch, let me tell ya.
It's good.
I'll smoke it right now.
You should take it, and don't put it on a glass, just put it in your mouth.
I think that'll be harmful to my health.
You're drinking scotch, dude.
That's, you know what?
It's not healthy.
I mean, be honest with me. Have you ever like not felt great, and you had a little whiskey or something?
No.
Because you think it's gonna like destroy the bad stuff? I've done it.
I've like heard that.
I've done it.
It definitely feels like it when it's in your mouth.
Frank, you can't go, you can't keep doing this.
I can let you go. I can just let you, I can let, I can let the world digest that. No, I, I've had like a tickle in my throat and just be like, I'm gonna blast it with something. So why not be Scotch?
Is that wrong?
I think it's, I think it might be incorrect. I think, well, I have seen videos on TikTok of like, here's bacteria underneath a microscope, and then you add like some whiskey or Scotch, and they all die.
Well, like, that's what they used to do back in the days of the Civil War. And they, they, where they were on to something. Well, half of them were on to something.
Let's be very clear.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They would be, half of them would be like, ow, my leg hurts. Let me, you know, clean it with, you know, whiskey.
The other half would be like, ow, I wanna keep my slaves, let me clean it with whiskey.
Yeah, yeah.
One of those sentiments, the, the good one, the northern one, I agree with.
Right, yes, exactly.
Just be very clear.
Okay?
I also got myself something.
I got a little Christmas tree trophy, because I won the Christmas tree decorating poll on Instagram.
Oh, fuck you.
This guy's having a week.
See, you-
Good gift giver, got a little tree, won a contest, also's got just a big fat mess of a dick.
Yeah, just like a stupid dick.
Apparently.
Just an absolute-
I just wanted to toss that in there.
Yeah, you, you and Frank Sinatra, who apparently has a 19-pound cock, wasn't that you said that?
Dude, yeah.
19-pound dick?
Fucking Paul Anka, who's like an old-timey singer.
Paul Anka?
Paul Anka. Paul?
Anka.
Oh, isn't Palenka somebody?
Palenta is a, like-
Isn't that like a-
It's like an Italian, like-
It's a mushy rice?
It, it's, it's almost like, uh, grits.
It's like a corn paste.
Kinda like that.
I'm into, I'm into grits.
I like mushy shit.
Ooh.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, I like, like mashed potatoes when they're mushed.
Yeah, but I like a little, like on certain stuff, a little texture. Like, I think they do like Palenta cakes, but they'll like pan fry them, so you get a bit of a char-
Crust.
Crust on the outside, and then the inside is creamy.
Oh, yeah.
And mushy.
But, um-
Big fat dick, though.
Yeah, apparently, you and Frank Sinatra-
You guys share a dick. We share it. Yeah.
You also share a love for alcohol.
Ri-
You know, there's-
I think if we start naming things-
Same listening age on Spotify.
Yeah, we could, we, I think we'll be able to find a pretty consistent like-
Through line?
Through line between Frank Sinatra and Aunt Prisco.
What was the story with his big?
Well, Paul Anka came out and said like, it was true, he had just like too much dick.
Damn.
And like the joke was if he was a hundred and twenty pounds, nineteen pounds was dick. Which is-
Oh, bro, I also need the assumption that he actually had a nineteen pound penis. I'd be like, bro, you can't use that.
I mean-
There's no way.
I will say this, regardless of size, if people are measuring your girth, your cock, in weight, you've won.
How much do you think your penis weighs without it, without your balls?
Not nineteen pounds.
I was on the news two days ago and they asked me what the podcast was about.
I'm asking, right, how, how much his penis weighs?
Um, I, I can't give a number.
Grams?
Excuse you.
Do you think your penis is a pound? I don't know what a pound is.
I think-
It's not a pound.
How do you know?
Like, it can't be.
Who the hell are you?
I don't think-
Cause I'm three pounds. This guy's walking around with a dumbbell in his pants. He's like, you don't want this. It's a hu- tough life to live with a fucking heavy weener. Yeah, tell us how difficult life is while your fucking tip scrapes against the floor when you walk.
I'm getting too intense about it, yeah, I think so.
The details.
I mean, what, what do you think, can you, what does yours weigh?
Hmm, when I'm thinking about weighing it, I'm thinking about like-
Weighing a dust. And, and not because-
Like a food scale?
Yeah, like I'm thinking about like how much sugar. You ever see those videos about how much sugar-
Yeah, where it's just like you're drinking a Coca-Cola. Here's the 50 grams of sugar that's in it.
That's what I'm thinking about. Um, that's a great, great question.
Tell us, buddy Holly.
Well, the thing is, uh, it's a great song.
So, he was also a person?
Was he?
Yeah, dude. I don't know. It's one of the people that died on the plane.
The plane?
Yeah, the, the day the music died.
The song, "American Pie."
"I buy Miss American Pie, no..."
You don't have to sing that, I know.
And then that's the day the music died. It was like a plane crash. It had like the dude that sang "La Bamba."
I, I honestly did not know this. I know Lynyrd Skynyrd died and, didn't they die in a airplane?
I believe they did as well. I'm, I mean, I'm not gonna, well, am I gonna start using my phone during the show? Look up, look up the plane crash, the day the music died.
Okay. Uh, at first I Googled what the average weight of a penis is.
This is good.
I don't know if that is helpful.
Thank, you know what? You've earned your spot right there, baby.
Um, would you like to guess what the average weight of a penis is? Flaccid. What, what do we-
Give us, give us the unit of measurement.
Right. It's ounces.
Ooh, 16 ounces in a pound.
That's a glass of water.
Or is that fluid?
That ain't happening.
Wait, no, no, no. Fluid ounces and weight ounces are different things.
Okay.
16 ounces is a pint. A fucking pint!
But what's, 16 ounces is a pound now?
Uh, I think, is it 8 ounces is a pound?
Isn't it 12?
Oh, fuck.
We're all over the place. Well, regardless, it's not 16.
Um!
I'm gonna say 7. 16 ounces in a pan.
16 ounces is a fucking pound.
I'll say 7 ounces is the average.
I'm going bigger than that, baby. I'm going-
The average? I'm going ten point two five ounces.
The average weight of a flaccid penis.
Is two point five, three point five ounces.
Oh, wow, okay, cool.
Are you sure? Cause mine is averaging his fucking.
Doesn't feel, right?
It feels huge and heavy, dude.
Two point three ounces.
I mean, what's the point of weighing it at that point?
Let's use some simple math here. Simple math. Okay, we got this. We're, we're, we're.
I'm already nervous.
We're not stupid. So if the average length of a penis is.
Five?
What, five inches? Two point five ounces.
Right.
So that means that whatever the length is, half it for the ounces, the ounceship.
So if it's five inches, two and a half ounces.
So if we're going and using that, this guy had a thirty eight. Thirty eight pin.
Thirty eight inches. I see the math.
That's crazy.
You see it, which is like.
There's no way. There's no way.
I mean, you never know, dude.
It's crazy.
That was Frankie Blue Eyes. You think you got a small dick?
Frankie Blue Eyes? I love when we pick the blue eyes. Frankie Thick Hawk. Frankie's fucking massive nuts.
Climb me to the moon, riding on his fucking fleshy rocket ship.
Rocket ship of a car.
Yeah, that's exact- I mean, you know.
What a, what a guy.
What, I mean, I think we, we just deduced.
Average, so.
You're probably rocking, you're probably rocking like nine ounces.
Whoa, that would be insane.
I can't. I would, I would.
I can't.
I would act very differently, probably.
What, you did?
Elaborate on that.
The weight of your penis is, is in correlation with your personality?
Probably, yeah.
What would you be more of? Like, just a cocky? Well, you would be more cocky, for sure.
Inherently, yeah.
Uh, so you would just like, if, I guess cocky is the word, yeah.
But I, but, but like, you know, we all know it's well documented, he's gonna hate it, but Pete's got a big wiener. And, uh.
He goes, he'll know we mentioned him because his follower count goes up.
Well, the other day too, he was like, yo, did you say something about me? Because all of a sudden I got a bunch of followers. I was like, I don't think so.
We did.
And it, probably.
Yeah, we absolutely did.
Or maybe a clip went viral and it, you know.
They called wind of the penis.
I will say, he is the rare exception.
He doesn't like talking about it. Apparently that was Frankie Blais too, he didn't like talking about his massive wiener.
I mean, because back then, everyone was afraid of being gay back then.
Having a big wiener makes you gay?
If you talk about a dick, you wanna kiss it, probably. That's their mentality.
Oh.
You know, I, I imagine, I, I didn't live at that time.
Yeah, I mean.
But I imagine he'd be like, hey, why are you, why do you care? You know?
Just always singing.
I imagine, Bill Hader, uh, and.
I mean, I feel like, oh for five it feels though.
Richard Tozier.
What am I supposed to know who that is? Who's that?
Richie Tozier, Loser Club?
Loser Club?
Oh, come on.
It. It? Yeah. Oh, the kid from the movie.
Yeah, come on, baby.
Okay, cool.
You should know.
Alright.
I was gonna say, Pete is one of the rare examples of people that is like.
I don't wanna, I'm humble about my, my fucking hose.
Well, think about that. He doesn't talk about it at all. So the fact that it even has.
Which is normal, if we're being honest.
Right, and I mean, yeah. Uh, the fact that it has grown into an urban legend is magical.
It's like, it's like Sasquatch, in some ways, but also like the urban legend sense. You know, like, it's like, like, like the, like the Jersey Devil, like El Chupacabra, like, there's other things, the Mothman. You know, everyone has a story about it, but no one can sit and confirm like.
Medusa type shit.
Well, Medusa is mythological, I, I think, you know. Mine were a lot more closely tied to reality than yours.
Well, you know, those are your gods, you're Greek.
You see what he does?
I feel like.
You see how he did that?
Also, who are your gods? Picasso? You fucking Italian bitch?
First of all, that's not even a religion, Italian.
Greek isn't a religion.
Greek Orthodox, isn't that a religion?
Orthodox is the religion, Greek is the sect.
But I don't think Greek Orthodox is like, yo, Zeus, Aphrodite.
Yeah, I think so.
I don't think they are.
When you guys go to church, it's like, yo, Hercules and shit.
I only, I think the only difference is like, they believe in Jesus, but like, Jesus was eating Spanakopita instead of fucking, you know, bread.
Honestly, one of the best contributions that the Greeks have made to society is Spanakopita.
Spanakopita, Thaziki.
Bro.
I don't know if I've ever told you this. Nicole thought that was Spina Capita.
I mean, I mean, she's, she's white, so I mean.
Spina Capita?
I mean, I guess the Greeks are white too.
It sounds like Lois, like from Family Guy, Spina Capita.
Yeah, I mean, that's like such a like.
Spanakopita.
I could see that. I think Becca recently also did the same thing, where she was just like, Spanakopita. And I was just like, I get what you're trying to do.
We're gonna have to just say it quicker.
At that point, just call it spinach pie.
Yeah, right.
Like, you know, like, if you can't say it with the accent, you know, like.
Me and Frank grew up in a, in a Greek neighborhood and sometimes, like, it would be around, I believe it's Greek Easter, and all of a sudden, the neighborhood, it felt like there was like a cult in town, because they do, like, they do like a fucking.
The chair, like, holding the fucking, like.
Yeah, and everyone's dressed in white and they have candles, and I was like, yo!
Yo!
I was like, what's going on?
Have you seen the inside of a Greek Orthodox church?
I've peeked, I don't know if I'm allowed.
Dude, I mean, you can walk in, what are they gonna say? Get out?
They're gonna, I mean, the gods will.
I mean, the gods are like.
They smite, dude, they might be smited.
Say sorry.
Well, I don't know, but I, I've peeked in.
Yo.
St. Irene's, it looks nice.
Greek Orthodox church, they're into the pomp and circumstance, the flash, let me tell you.
They don't throw a bad fair either, that's a good fair.
I mean, Italians throw a pretty good fair.
The Italians throw a good fair, but a lot of rats.
I mean, that's just the, that's just the place. That has nothing to do with the fair.
Well, I know it's the food.
I, I, for a split second, I thought you might have been talking about like the people.
Rats.
The Italian people, like they're fucking wretch.
No, that's not what I meant. I meant actual animal rats.
Dude, pull up a picture of the inside of a Greek Orthodox church. There's gold everywhere. I've, I've been to a Christian church. I've been to a Catholic church. It's like, you know.
It's fine. A lot of wood.
A lot of wood.
Some stained gla- stained glass is cool.
Stained glass is really cool, but my guy, you walk in and you see this shit.
Which one are you feeling? This one?
I mean, yeah, throw it up, babe. Look at that shit.
You're standing up there with the Father, Son, and the Holy and the Spirit.
That's St. D's?
Uh, St. George and St. Demetrius Greek Orthodox Church. Yeah, you know what? That might be the ones that we went to.
I mean, I've never, what the motherfuck is that? Look at this thing. It's got a whole chandelier.
Yo, the Greeks love their churches, dude.
Got three chandeliers. I've been in some churches and I'm like, holy shit.
Yeah, man. They, they go to, and you walk in and they're, you know, it's sick. They're using olive oil.
Can I ask you a question? Like, when you, so if I'm near St. Patrick's Cathedral around Christmas, like it's usually around Christmas time, I'll go in and they have like a nativity set and whatever, but in any regard, I guess that doesn't matter why I'm bringing that up. When you get close to a statue, or not super close, but you see a statue, right? Does a part of you ever just stare at the statue and go, move?
Yes.
And just go, I know you could fucking move.
I forgot what movie it was, but I remember staring at a statue and I got it from the movie and I was just like, I wonder if they're just gonna start crying blood. You know, just like, wonder if this, wonder if this like, you know, Mary, Statue of Mary.
Part of me feels like if I stare at a statue long enough, like it will give me a sign.
Well, there's, what's the name of the character? I think they're called like the Weeping Angels or something like that from Doctor Who. And they're statues. They're like stone statues, but they only move if you like blink or look away. So like, that's what I do. I'll just be like.
This is like fucking Five Nights at Freddy's now. Sorta.
I mean, definitely, you're gonna upset people comparing Doctor Who to Five Nights at Freddy's.
No, that's not what I'm saying. He's tr- he's getting it. I mean, like, if you look away, then they move. You know what I mean?
I mean, I think they move when you look at them in Five Nights at Freddy's, too.
Uh, when they get close enough and kill ya, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, I do that. And it went specifically in St. Patrick's Cathedral. That's like, I've been in churches and I, you know, I'm like, for some reason, St. Patrick's Cathedral is the most uncomfortable I've ever been because I know that like, twenty feet below me, there's a pope just lying there, dead.
Not a pope, popus.
You pope, the popus?
There's, there's a ton of pope.
How do, what is multiple pope? Is it popes? Or is it popeye?
I think it's pipes.
Pipes?
I think it's pipes. There was, there's multiple pipes.
The floor is just fucking.
Covered in pipes.
And if you walk to the back of the church, so if you ever, if anyone is visiting New York, or you're from New York and you haven't been to St. Patrick's Cathedral, you walk in, you go to the left, and then the nativity set is like right on your left. And you go, wow, oh, the, it looks, and then you walk past it, and you get into the back, behind the stage altar, and there's, there's a bunch of, like, tombs. They're like, yo, down below.
Catacombs.
Bunch of pipes.
Yo, the pipes are laid out and like, they'll tell you, too. They'll be like, yo, there's, there's St. John Paul, there's Ringo. Like, they, like, they name, they'll tell you all the pipes that are down there.
Yeah, they're like, this one's Federico, or like, some Italian name.
Let me be very.
John Paul, John Paul two, John Paul four, five.
There's, there's like fifteen John Pauls.
Every season of John Paul.
It is very, like, jokes aside, it's breathtaking.
It is.
St. Patrick's Cathedral, it's, the architecture is, like, the fact that you could see that, like, those were made by human hands, it's, it's fucking crazy.
Crazy. And when I went to France, and I went to Notre Dame, I was like, bro, this is insane that people built this.
Bro, even when we were in Ireland, there was like, two or three churches that, I forgot who I was with, but we walked into.
And I was just like, yo, this is like a thing that people made by hand? Bananas.
Absolutely bananas.
I remember thinking when I was, when I was in France, of being like, is there French pipes down here? You know what I mean? Below the surface. Have you got some, we got some bones?
Have there been any French, French?
They're ma- French. Any fucking French toast.
Any French toast. Have there been any French popes? I feel like they've all been Italian.
Oh, yeah. Oh, well, I guess priests.
From the south side of Chicago? Yo, this guy's on to something crazy. I'm just telling you, he's set a new standard with popes that are also like baseball fans and also like eat hot dogs. Is this possibly the first pope that we've had that's ever had a hot dog?
Nah. Can you get a hot dog in Italy?
I'm sure it'll be like, this is an American restaurant.
Yo, what do you think the pope does for like fun? Or is it always just the books? Like, is it always just the book? Or can you just go chill?
Stay, stays prayed up.
Yeah, but like, that's it? Like, you wake up and pray and like, you ever like, take a pottery class or some shit?
Um, you know, that's a great question. I am not super up to date with the daily activities of the pipes.
Dude, or like, do they go to restaurants? Like, imagine you're sitting at a steakhouse and all of a sudden the fucking pope walks in and is like...
I imagine, I imagine they wouldn't. I mean, if, if we're being honest, from a security standpoint, probably a bad idea to do that.
I mean, just hire security.
I mean, I think it's still like, there's still a level of...
I would love to see the pope pop out and like pop...
What, you go to like Four Charles and like, they'll be like, oh, Aaron Boone is here. Oh, fucking, you know, like, Steve Cohen and right in the back room, the pope is crushing a ribeye.
Dude, that'd be so fire. The idea of like, oh, Pope eating steak is funny.
It is funny because they need to go about ordering it. Like, how would you take that? Uh, rare.
Yeah, like, what? And then like, just the idea of them, I don't know, this is probably just me, but the idea of them eating food that isn't the little hosts is funny to me.
Yeah, like the idea- Like a pope eating french fries is like- The idea of the pope having a hot dog is inherently hysterical. You think a pope is just sitting back and drinking a Bud Light? I'm just saying, like, I think now more so than ever, we're finding the opportunity is like coming that the pope is like watching a baseball game with a Bud Light and a hot dog and he's just like, "Jesus, we need to run here." You know, just like kicking, kicking his feet up. Yeah, like, just, just like, you know, the pope at one point in his life, like Scott Posadnik got thrown out at home and he went, "Are you fucking kidding me?" at his TV, you know what I'm saying? And that was the pope, and then when he dies, he'll be with the pipes. He's like, "Thank God for Jermaine Die," you know?
Yeah. That's got, I mean, hey, man, they, they haven't really been that successful since then, so, I mean, we can't say it's not because of the pope. He must have loved Angels in the Alfield. I mean, he must have been a co-writer, they must have been like, you know how movies will like, contact people in the industry as like a, "How authentic is this?" or something like that. He's an executive producer. Danny Glover's talking to the pope and just like, "What do you think I should do for this movie?" Yeah, how do we, how do we get the angels? Honestly, you're pretty on point with the way it's going so far.
That's so far. Damn, I think, can we find any pictures of the pope having like pizza or a cheeseburger? I found one, uh- Look up pope's eating shit. I found one, uh- Don't, don't look that up. Don't say shit.
I, I saw one, uh, "The Day the Pope Drank Beer."
No! Dude, if, if you're about to pull up a picture of the pope with a pint, I might convert. What is "the day"? Like, it's only been one time?
That's what they called it.
Oh!
Get the hell out, oh, but wait a sec, that was, that was- He's having it out of a fucking pint!
Careful, careful, careful, that was the Nazi. Careful, he was tied to Nazism. Who? Alright. That pope. He's just having a beer. Yeah. Yo, you're gonna let a guy that old hold that big beer, dude? His arm's gonna fall off. Well, he's got the power of the spirit with him. That is true, yeah. I mean, it's not like the force. Uh, I mean, we don't know.
This picture I saw.
Damn, that's crazy! That, unless I'm mistaken, that's Benedict, yeah, Pope Benedict. He was one of the, he, I think he resigned because like, they were like, "Yo, you're cool with the Nazis or something?" Uh, Frank?
I'm not saying that all the popes have not done anything wrong, but to, to, to say tied to the Nazis and then to add or something, you should be sure about what you're saying.
I'm a little fuzzy on the details, but.
Go to that picture of those two popes eating. Up to the left. Up to the left. Right there, to the left, up left. What are they eating?
I mean, I think that's Pope Leo.
Oh, that's Leo.
That's Leo. Oh, Leo. Oh, that's our current guy.
First of all, he's got to be careful with the sleeves on the table there. It's a big white sleeve. We got some ketchup around. You gotta be careful, Pope. It looks like a beer.
I mean, it's just funny to imagine. They're just people, obviously. Is this a screwdriver? What is this?
Imagine the popes be like, let me get a vodka tonic. Two limes, please.
Bro, that's what I'm saying. Like, the popes pull up to restaurants and they're like, yo, hit us with the bottomless. It's kind of fire.
Yo, if there was ever, like, the Pope at, like, a bottomless brunch, I think I would lose my fucking mind.
All right, that's, that's gotta be fake.
This made me laugh.
I will say, and I don't wanna, I honestly don't wanna offend people, but I hope people don't think that we're being offensive. One thing I also wanted to point out is that, do you remember when I brought up J.J. Hairston? The gospel singer? And I was like, yo, this fire gospel singer.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bro, he posted a clip from the podcast and followed me.
I know, and like.
I just think it's funny now. He's gotta tune in.
And it's like, if he's hearing this now, it's like, am I saying something bad?
See if you can hit up J.J. Hairston.
Just have him come in and just belt one out.
I'm not even saying that, but like, get you, you know, on the track. You know, one. You know, back in your days.
I'm not getting on the track with J.J.
Why not? Back, I'm saying, you don't need to sing, but like, you could have like a, a brief intermission, like, your days is like, you know, back in the day, I was confirmed by the God. Back in the, you know.
Oh, I'm gonna drop a.
I think you could write a quick sixteen.
Sixteen?
You could write a quick sixteen about your days in the church.
My days in the church? Yeah, man, I've been confirmed. Were you confirmed? I was. Yeah.
Yeah, you confirmed.
There we go. Oh, thank you.
It's a confirmed ten ounce wiener.
Brother, you just got a red solo cup?
Amen, brother. It's a Diet Coke.
What time is it, kid?
If, if.
The answer's already yes, but go ahead.
Uh, uh, no, that's not the question I was gonna ask. If you were a pope.
And you were to go out, what would be your drink of choice? I know it's red wine, give me something else. What feels like a holy dr- a holy spirit?
That's a good joke. That was actually a good joke.
That's incredible.
Um.
Shit, I don't know.
Gin?
I was gonna say gin because of the floral botanicals and everything.
What does that have to do with anything?
It just feels more connected to nature.
Yeah. Well, the wine that they had in church was white wine, actually. In my church.
What? Huh?
Yeah. Scooby Doo, welcome to the show.
Could be making this up. Isn't it white wine until a specific day and then it's red wine because that's when Jesus?
Oh, you're asking me?
No, no.
Oh, like they like, like that's when he turned it to.
Oh, like when he like was just like, yo, now it's my blood.
Oh, well, no.
No?
Made that up?
Well, no, and not in my church, growing up, it was always white.
So you're, you guys were just like throwing rosé in the cup and shit like that, be like, yo, this is.
No, that would be fire. I mean, no, it was like a shard.
I, I mean, but.
I guess why? Why is it white?
Maybe it was just preference?
I mean, but that doesn't make sense.
Yeah, cause it's always like the blood of my, you know.
It's the blood of Christ is like.
Yeah, but it's not, it's not like the blood. It's like a metaphor.
I know, but if you're gonna present the blood of Christ, it should look most closely resembling blood.
Maybe our priest just fucked with the white.
That could be taken out of context. We're gonna go straight to the ad for that.
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Beautiful. And you know what?
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What the fuck are we doing here?
What the fuck is happening?
Why did you go with that?
I want to make sure I specify the gravity and the emotional weight.
We love you. We're so thankful.
Patreon.com/thebasementyard.
You got a new ring?
Yeah, Becca got that for me.
Let me see.
He held it up like the Green Lantern.
You're big on rings these days.
I'm, I'm, I'm feeling rings, honestly.
You showed up with a double pink the other day. I was like, bro.
Double pinked out?
Yeah, you were pinked.
I mean.
Two pink.
First of all, don't say that. I don't like you were pinked.
Yeah, you got pink.
I don't like that. I think, that, that sounds a little intense.
It does sound like porn, kinda.
Listen, I mean, I think I saw, I, I've, I've said this before, my, my entry into rings was seeing someone with pinky rings and rings eating a sandwich. And I go, that looks awesome.
Mm-hmm.
The sandwich, and they're eating it with rings. Cause now, when I eat sandwiches, I'm rock and roll for sandwich.
Why do you eat like that?
I mean, huh, well, how do you eat a sandwich?
I don't even.
Alright, you got, I'm gonna give you two types of sandwiches. Flat white bread sandwich.
Flat white bread sandwich.
Don't sit here, don't sit here and say like, give me a, a, like a one with wheat.
I can't even remember the last time I had white bread. Isn't that crazy?
Yeah, I mean, okay, so like, but like, they make like sliced Italian bread or, or, or something like that, but like.
I just hold it.
You know what I'm, uh, like, it looks like this. You know, it's got, it's got, it's got hips.
I'm gonna save you time. I just hold it.
Okay, now a sub.
I mean, how?
The same method of.
You hold like this?
But why?
Doesn't everything fall out of the butt?
No, baby.
Yeah, you gotta like, close that fucking ass.
First of all, I keep my butt pinched.
I mean, it's clearly not, clearly not. Your butthole's wide open.
On my sandwiches, on my sandwiches, dude.
Your butthole's wide open and ready for dinner.
What, do you rather me eat it like this?
No, I mean, dude, that's crazy.
Yeah, I fucking did that to myself.
How big is a sandwich and you?
I mean, I've eaten some big sandwiches. But like, the reason, I'll be honest with you, the reason I do that is because I have wet sandwiches. And if I do eat them like this, this area right here gets wet with like oil and vinegar and stuff like that. So if I open it up.
You eat with like antennas.
Damn right I do. I want the world to know this incredible sandwich I'm eating. I don't eat bad sandwiches. Let's make that very clear.
I'm not saying that.
I wanna make sure you know and you know.
None of us were concerned.
But you're like, you're, do you have like a, like a thing with your hand, like your fingers and hands?
I have openly spoken about, I hate my dainty fingers.
No, no, I meant like a.
If I can dress them up with rings, oh, I am a very tactile person, absolutely.
Which is, but, but I feel like you're, I don't know, there's something with your fingers.
You're throwing up gang signs now.
Yeah, I'm going crazy now.
You gotta be careful, baby. You gotta be careful.
But you're, you're, you're like this, you know?
And then also, we've talked about how you point is kinda like Voldemort. Where you're like, you do that?
Well, I think a lot of it is my dainty fingers. So like, what I can do to
combat the daintiness is add some weight, rings, you know?
But they're dainty because of use. It's not because they're dainty, like.
Use what?
Like the way that you use them.
I think the way, but like, the, like, I can't point like this anymore if I got a ring on. Now I, now it's like this.
Okay, so you need, you need help?
You know, and when I have my pinky rings on, if you notice, I do things more like this.
Do you?
Oh, God.
It's because it's sick.
It's because it's sick. Do you put your fingers up?
Try this on, try the ring on.
Do you put your finger, you, you put your fingers up? I don't think so.
I'm gonna toss it.
That one, maybe? He goes, I don't think so.
Yep. Got it.
We've established that you have small fingies.
Yeah, well, nineteen pound fingers.
Whoa, that's on your pinky?
No, that's on, that's on my, uh.
Oh. Bro, this fits easily on my thumb.
That's crazy. You have small fingies.
This feels holy.
Uh.
It feels gee, uh, like priesty.
It might be priesty. I love it. I love it so much.
You pipe?
I'm not piping!
It fits on every finger. Well, nope, it only fits on this finger.
Oh, like, fits, it can fit on all your fingers.
But like.
I could probably fit this around my leg.
Now, now talk about my dainty fingers. Come on, dude.
You're not very dainty, I guess. It's like, bro, this is, bro, this is a thick.
What's up?
You got thick fingers.
Hell, yeah.
How'd you put the accent? Hell, yeah. Ready?
Hit your other ring.
Yeah, you like that, right?
You're ranged.
I do feel like, I just, I like.
Powerful.
I feel powerful when I'm wearing it. I really, really do. It feels good.
Are you gonna get into rings? No. Oh, you wear a ring? I have an aura ring. Ah.
I've thought about getting one of those, just for general health helping.
Health helping? And you would wear it, which one?
I'd probably wear it here. I have no ring right now for my, my index. I have rings for these two right here.
Thanks for showing us. You could've just told us. We know them. We have little fingers.
But, okay, so no rings for you?
Uh, maybe. You're not a ring guy?
Um, I've experimented.
I got you a ring.
You did get me a ring?
I got you a ring, a pinky ring.
A pinky ring?
Throw that bitch on there. You know? It was crazy. I asked about your size and I was told that your ring was like the size, basically of a child's finger.
I mean, I don't have huge fing- like, they're not like big fingers. I think my hands are normal, but my fingers-
Oh my god, you have such big hands.
No, my hands aren't like big hands, but they're not like bitch hands.
You remember when like hands had to do with dicks back in the day?
Do I? I still think that.
Yeah. Where it's like, you ever have someone, like when you're growing up and a girl's like, "Let me see your hand," then I'm like, "Oh god."
That was, I, I learned from Becca that that was like a thing that girls did to flirt.
The hands?
I mean, I assumed, anytime that I was touching skin with a girl, I was like, "Oh my god, we're having sex."
It, it was the closest thing at the time.
Yeah, it was.
Sometimes it was better. Because you didn't have anything to compare it to.
Oh, when you had no clue-
When I had no sex.
When you hadn't drank from the, you know, from the, the, the, the-
When I haven't had sex yet, that's what I was gonna say.
We were having a conversation in freshman year of high school once, and it, just the topic of what, like, something like that, like what gesture like equals the size of a penis, or how big do you think it is? And this girl went like this, "What, aren't they normally..." "Here to here?"
She thought elbow to wrist?
She thought elbow to wrist was like, that's how you judge the size of a-
I, I don't think that's all of our dicks together.
Well.
Forget about the hammer.
We all looked at each other like.
I, I mean, I don't even know how, I mean, I, I don't know what this per- I'm not gonna speak about this person's sexual history.
Well, they didn't like, they didn't know like, yeah, like it was freshman year, like it was just an assumption, like that's what they thought.
But where do you even get that assumption from?
I think there's a confusion. I mean, I thought it was like.
It was from, it was like the tip.
Here to here, here to here.
Yeah, it was like, at one point, they said it was like, when you hold your hand normal, it's like pinky to thumb.
You know, or, or, you know, I don't know. I remember, I remember being like, middle school and someone said that and I'd be like, really?
Go home and like, stretch my hand.
Really? You know?
I've never like, you know.
It was such, like, there was, they were all the, I mean, foot size was another one that was like, you know, that was, that was a big one.
But there were all these little like, cool, not cool.
I wouldn't call them cool.
Yeah, I wouldn't, I know, I, I recanted that.
Everything was about like, figuring out what your penis size was via weird ways.
Can you, do you know of any other ones?
I didn't keep tabs on it.
Here to here is such a crazy thing to even think. I'll go on record, that girl's an idiot.
That's fine.
Imagine, how old were you?
Freshman year high school, fourteen?
Fourteen years old. Bro, what are we doing?
I, I mean, yeah, I don't think even, you know.
We, we were, we were appalled, a little.
Now, it was Catholic school also, this is ridiculous.
Yeah, I, I, I don't wanna speak more about this because.
Self-conscious also, from that one.
See, and when I was in sixth or seventh grade, I remember a girl being like, you're a virgin? And like, laughing at me, and I was like, oh my god, like, am I a?
You had to go out there.
Am I a loser?
You had to, you had to figure it out.
And then looking back, I was like, the fuck, you fucking people in sixth grade?
There were people that I knew that were actively having sex in sixth grade.
Me too.
Which is.
Like in the stairway?
So fucking disgusting.
Disgusting is such an intense word. I mean.
I didn't think you were gonna say that. I thought you were gonna say like crazy or something.
I mean, yes, crazy too, but like, I knew, like, just like looking back in like hindsight and just be like, oh my god.
Like, what the fuck was happening?
People were having sex in, in the stairway in my middle school.
Yeah dude, it was a thing in our middle school. It was like, people would hook up in like the back staircase.
I like made out with my girlfriend at the time once.
Hell yeah.
Yeah dude, she made out very fast.
I remember back then also, I was still so afraid of being good at making out and then me and her made out and she, she like, she was just in fast forward, it felt like. Oh, oh, oh, oh. And I was like, it just fell back. And I was like, damn, have I been doing this thing wrong the whole time?
What is that?
But like, you know when you're making out with someone and your mouth opens?
But, and hers was just opening and closing very quickly, at a speed that I wasn't prepared for. So I was kinda like a step behind, so I was like, I probably fucked that up.
Oh yeah, I can see that. I remember when, when I was in middle school, cause that was like the stressor back then. It was just like,
Making out.
Are you a good kisser?
And if I'm not, everyone's gonna know.
Everyone's gonna know it. No one's gonna kiss you because of it.
Right. Ever again.
Ever.
I will die alone after this.
If you're a bad kisser at that age, it's gonna follow you until you're like a member of the workforce.
You know, on your resume it'll be like, wow, graduated magna cum laude and, oh boy, heard you were a bad kisser.
Heard you were a fucking dweeb.
But I remember I had like a seventh grade girlfriend and there was like pressure, it was also like you got a girlfriend and then you had to like, kiss, and then you had to like kiss in front of your boys and your, like their friends. And I remember I went for like a kiss once and I went for a tap kiss.
Oh no.
She went for a make out kiss.
And, or, or vice versa, whatever it was. I went for make out, she went for tap. And it was just like a.
It was a consuming.
It was an all-consuming and it was like, you'd never come back from that.
It looked like a cobra eating a mice. A mouse is what I wanted to say.
It was just like, yeah, it was like exactly that. It was like, you know, the way that like anacondas consume.
Bro, do you remember when you were younger and like same thing, like you had a girlfriend and then it was such a big deal and everyone knew they're like, oh, they're gonna kiss. And like, no one kissed back then. So it was a big deal if there was a couple. And it's like, oh my god. It was almost like a fight. It was like, yo, they're gonna meet up after school and they're gonna kiss each other. And I feel like you would kiss and everyone would go, oh!
Well, I re- I remember at the time, like kissing my, like going like down the block, kissing my then girlfriend and walking back and everyone's at the corner like, Did it hap- did it happen? Like, like celebrating it. And it was just like, uh, you know, it's like, yeah. So what? You know, we're boyfriend and girlfriend now. Like, that's what they, that's what boyfriend and girlfriends do.
Yeah. You guys will learn one day.
Just like an insane, just an insane time to live in.
Such a funny time to look back on.
Yeah, and it's even weirder now that I have children.
Oh, well, yeah. They're gonna have to go through that.
And it's like, weird.
Yeah. You know, very, very weird.
Kissing is so strange. Isn't it weird that we kiss each other on the lips and the mouth?
I get it, like-
Other places.
Dude, what are you doing?
What are you doing? Once it gets close to the holidays, I feel like you're just like horny.
What's in that cup? You sure it's just diet coke or is it diet coke and horny goat weed?
I thought you were going there. I just tried to jump in front of it, but- No, I was going very normal, like kissing on, like, just from a, just think about kissing on the lips. Like, does any other animal do that? They kiss each other on the mouth?
That's a great question. I don't know.
Like, why are we kissing each other on the mouth?
I don't know. That's a really, really good question. To show like affection, because that's what we do it. It's to show affection.
And I like it. I like kissing on the mouth. But like, how?
I, well, do you think more people kiss on the lips or on the cheek?
Cheek.
What do you mean?
You think cheek?
Of course.
When's the last time you kissed someone on the cheek?
All the time.
When's the last time you kissed someone on the lips?
All the time, dude. But less people.
I'm not saying-
There's one!
But I'm saying, in my lifetime, how many people you've kissed on the lips and cheek are like, it's astronomically-
I'm not saying, like, the quantity of people, I'm saying the amount of individual kisses.
Oh, ooh. It's like wheels or doors.
Wheels or doors. Are there more mouth kisses, or are there more cheek kisses?
In a, in an average lifetime?
In an average lifetime.
Oh, definitely lip.
That's a, but that's a, that's a, I don't know!
No, but what about, what about like newborns, you kiss them on the cheeks? We're talking about quantity of kisses, right?
It could also be cheeks slash foreheads, because that's a big one, too.
We're talking about quantity of kisses? Yeah, the number of times you either kiss a lip or kiss a cheek.
Lip, or elsewhere on the head, because people do like, top of the head, forehead, cheeks.
I think it's lip. In, in the span of a lifetime, I think a person kisses someone on the lips more than they kiss any other-
The average person, though.
Yeah, because like, if you are in a relationship, that's a lot of lip.
Sure, that's a lot of lip, but you think about all the cheek kisses you had before that relationship.
Yeah, I ju-
And then like, within that relationship-
You make up ground, though.
Within that relationship, there are cheek kisses, too.
That's true, oh man. That's what I'm saying, like, in a lifetime, though, like, if you get to live seventy-five, eighty years, it's a lot of lip.
It's also a lot of cheek, because then you have kids, you kiss them on the cheek, you have grandkids-
Not if you're Tom Brady.
Oh, we'll take Tom Brady out of this one. He's an outlier in this situation. He's a, he's a, everyone he knows has kissed him on the lip.
You think it's cheek? I don't know, it probably lips, but Tom Brady's definitely on the lip side.
He's, he's on the lip. I mean, he's probably never kissed someone on the cheek before.
He's the GOAT of lip kissing, probably, yeah.
He's the GOAT of a couple things, you know?
I'm gonna go lip, though.
I, I'm more inclined-
Bro, think about this, when you're in a young relationship, how many times you kiss? Because when you're younger and you have a girlfriend, it's like, we're just gonna kiss twenty-four seven.
Yeah, but when you're, let's say, alright, let's say you're fifteen, and you have a partner.
You're going to kiss, but the ability to sometimes to kiss is not always readily available. But how many times do you see your family? There are friends that people kiss their friends on the cheek.
I don't kiss my family on the cheek.
And I'm not just talking on the cheek, I'm talking.
Do you kiss your mom on the cheek?
Like when you see your mom?
Absolutely.
I don't know if I do that.
My brothers.
I kiss my mom goodbye, but I'm more into hugging.
I mean, it's a, it's a, it works in tandem, brother. It's a.
Not always.
Double, double.
You know what it is? My mom's like.
Oh, you double it up. You're a very Italian family.
Your, your double arm kiss?
Oh, Italy? Those are cheek people. They're kissing cheeks.
I'm saying the average person, whether they're Italian.
Or they're anything else.
I don't know. If we're throwing the Italians in there, that, that really bumps up the cheek. Cause they love the ma, ma. That's two. And they do it everywhere.
Damn. That's tough. I didn't know we were including Italians.
I think this is.
This is a good argument.
Very good argument.
This is a good debate. I like it a lot.
Now, if you're horny like Ant.
Are they kissing above the chin or below the chin more?
Let's not get rich.
Let's get this guy. This guy's over here.
There's a lonely male epidemic, Frank. No one's kissing below the belt anymore.
Uh, it actually says here that chimpanzees, bonobos, wolves, polar bears, albatrosses. I didn't know that was plural. And even insects kiss on the lips.
That's so cute.
You're telling me that praying mantis smooch?
I don't know which ones, but maybe.
Dude, if I saw a praying mantis go up to its partner and just be like. I would be so pumped.
Yeah, that'd be crazy.
Wait, which other? Also wolves. I've never seen a wolf kiss.
And they don't, they don't have like lips. They have mouths.
They have like.
So what are they doing? Are they just going up and they're just like?
They gotta like side kiss?
I imagine.
Or like they smoosh noses? That's cute.
Smoosh noses and they give one of these.
Like beak touching?
I mean, we're one of the few animals on the planet that have like usable lips.
Dude, if a parrot landed on me and went, that's, I'm counting that, I'm counting that as a kid.
That's what they would do. They'd go.
You ever think about if you had a parrot, what would it say? Like, what do you say a lot of that it would say?
I basically have one with my daughter Maeve, and we have seen some of the stuff that she has said.
Fuck, apparently is what you're saying.
You are my fucking daddy.
That's great.
I'm like, I'm trying to tone it back now because it's getting bad.
Yeah, I'm, I'm still going lip, I think.
Dude, Ruby the other day, like, she, she goes, daddy, you are dramatic. And Becca started dying laughing. I was like, where'd you get that from? Uh, but I, I think...
What do you think you're gonna be?
I would, that's so tough. Because I kiss Becca a lot.
And a lot of it is on the lips.
Are we sup- The way you said that? It was like you were talking to your boys when you were like 12. Like, I kiss her a lot, and a lot of it is on the lips. I'm like, oh!
I've been, uh, like, before Becca, like, I'm a very affection- I come from a very affectionate family. I am a very affectionate person. Like, most of my friends that I see get a kiss on the cheek. You know?
I've never seen you kiss the boys.
Well, when you put it like that. I'm not, hey, look at this!
Yeah, but when we see each other, you don't kiss me.
No, but I have.
I mean, it doesn't stand out. We dap and like hug.
He says your kisses aren't memorable. Crazy.
That is bananas.
That is bananas. He's trying to kissbait me. He's trying to be like, your kisses don't even mean much to me.
They don't even, I don't even feel them.
No one's trying to kissbait.
He's trying to kissbait me, you see that? Fucking crazy. I don't even know-
First of all, you're fucking horny over there, alright?
I don't even know if you're a good kisser, you know? That's what he's saying.
I can't even remember the last time you kissed me.
Yeah, like, people say you're not a great kisser.
Do you kiss your mom on the cheek hello?
I don't even know if I do.
I kiss my, my, you know how my dad is. My dad's still throwing out heavy cheek kisses.
I mean, your dad would use tongue if he, if you let him.
Alright, let's be, let's take it back.
I, I think I don't because my mom is like, like, very short. So she's like here.
Yeah, but do you kiss her on the, like, on the ma- on the head? I almost said mouth. On the head?
It's fine. Uh, yeah, sometimes. Like, I don't, I don't really- I don't know if I ki- like I definitely don't kiss like my brothers hello.
I do.
Keith would, literally I would end up in a tornado like the Tasmanian Devil if I did that.
Yeah, you would.
I don't think I kiss Shannon hello. Like we hug, we're huggers.
Okay, that's fine.
Why does that sound like a slur?
We're huggers.
That dirty, that dirty hugging family.
He's a hugger, like instead of a kisser. Kisser sounds way nicer than hugger.
You're a hugger. It's like, whoa dude.
I think, uh, I, I think there, I'm not saying that I am sa- like it's cheek or, or mouth for me. But it is a really good argument to have that like, you also gotta think of the average family, like, not everyone is as affectionate as my family. Not everyone is as affectionate as your family, like.
So like, there are people also, as you were, as you always tell Aunt and I, we're in the middle of a male loneliness epidemic.
So like, you think of all those people that have never kissed someone on anything.
You wanna hear something weird? I have heard through vines of the grape or great?
Grape.
Grape, uh, that some people who are in long relationships, when they have sex, they don't kiss. That's so weird.
That's weird.
Yeah, that doesn't feel right.
Those gotta be cheek people. That's weird. And also, are we counting, when you do that thing, when you see your aunt, and you guys, your cheeks touch?
I just said that. Yeah, I just said that. That's a cheek kiss. Yeah.
You count that, you count that.
Oh, you.
You're making a sound. You're not kissing.
I mean, the sentiment is as close to kissing on the cheek as, I'm, you thought I was just saying like, you know, on the person's.
I mean, if I'm kissing.
No, this is, I'm counting this as a cheek kiss.
Cheek to cheek.
You gotta count that.
I wish I could, don't you wish you could just dap people up? There's some people that like, I wish I could just dap up my like aunts and uncles.
I like hugging because I'll never know if I'll hug that person again.
That's so morbid.
It's like, it's nice and sweet, but it's also like.
I mean, I'm not saying they're gonna die, but like, I just may never see them again.
Yeah. Why?
People go their own route in life and they move away, or they have like, you just don't get to see people for years.
Yeah. I mean, I, I just, you know. I'm not big on the, on the. I'm, I'm down to do it to a small group. Once we start, you know, if I'm walking into Christmas Day and there's fucking thirty people there, I'm like, here we go.
Oh, I say hi to every single person.
Of cour- I have to too, but like, I gotta hug and kiss everyone. This is crazy now. I wish I could just be like, yo.
Feel like my aunt and shit, just dap her up.
Yeah. Make it quick.
I, I, I like, I like, I like it. A nice embrace.
I'm more of a, as much as I like to Irish goodbye, I feel like I'm.
Actually, no, that's not true. I guess it's, it's different. With friends. I don't care if we say hi to each other, really. Uh, no, I'm sorry. I care if we say hi to each other. I do not care if you say bye. Like I, you can leave. I, I don't, it doesn't matter. But I would like you to acknowledge when we see each other, but just go, do your thing. But with family, it's more of like, a hi, oh no, it's, it's less about a hi and more about a bye.
You know who has?
Same reason you're saying.
You know who has that same mentality? The Undertaker. I'm dead serious. I saw an interview, I think, I think it was Bill Simmons and John Cena. No, I think it was Bill Simmons and John Cena, or John Cena and someone. I don't remember exactly who it was, but he's like, was talking about. Uh, he was like, the, I never drank alcohol. The first drink I ever had was with the Undertaker.
That's a good first drink.
That's a great first drink.
Mine was with a, it was in a, was a Heineken in a backyard and it sucked.
Mine was, like, are we talking like accidental, took a sip, you didn't know what it was, or like, I'm gonna have an alcoholic drink?
I think, I think you, you're purposeful.
I think it was with my sister. Maybe not, maybe earlier, maybe.
Throw her in the slammer.
I mean, it is alright. It might have been with you. I don't remember. Nonetheless, uh, he was like. The Undertaker gave me words of advice and it was like. Never say goodbye. And he's like, that stuck with me. Like, you, like, big Irish goodbye guy, just never say goodbye to someone.
Why?
I don't know.
I'm trying to find the profoundness in that.
I'm not the undertaker?
A lot of people say like, don't say goodbye, say like, see you later, because goodbye is final.
Talk about morbid, I'm, you know, fucking.
That's a, that's a technical Frank thing, like, well technically.
Well, that's what I.
Technically, I will see you later in life.
Yeah, that's what I've heard.
I mean, that's pretty dramatic to me.
Ruby gets it.
So Ruby gets it.
Yeah, Ruby does, yeah.
But yeah, I, I mean, I, I'm more of like, yo, I'll say bye to like my aunts and uncles when we're leaving and stuff. I don't really care about saying hi, like, because I don't like the, the formality of it, like, when I, when I get there, it's like, now I gotta do the circuit. Like, I can, I'll talk to everyone at a certain point, like, if we lock eyes, like, oh, hey, and I'll come over and, you know, but the, the circuit.
I love, I, I, I like the circuit. One, it's, I mean, depending on who it is, if it's close friends and family, I'll do the circuit. But if I'm somewhere where I'm not crazy about some of the people there, I'll, I'll, I'll sit back a little bit, you know?
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Yeah, okay.
Oh yeah, where'd you go?
I gotta clear my throat.
Goddamn.
Is that one of the most famous, like, I feel like that song is up there with like, Ave Maria as one of the most famous songs ever made.
Ave Maria.
You know what I'm saying? Like Ave Maria.
Well, I just asked, I think I asked you guys this too, but I asked Twitter, and I was like, what do you think is the best song of all time? And for me, bro, I think it's Landslide.
I mean, that's up there, absolutely.
I love that song.
That song, it got, I mean.
It's so good.
Do you want me to just talk and like a human being here, or you want me to be technical about it? Like, how are we describing what the best song is?
In your opinion?
Personally, I would go either,
Bohemian Rhapsody, you know I'm a little, you know I'm a bitch for that song. Landslide's up there. I also love, uh, Sympathy for the Devil from the Rolling Stones.
That's a great song.
I'll see what other people said.
I mean, there's, you could make an argument for any song that's like a classic, you know?
I like listened to Landslide the other day and I was like, dude, this song is so good.
Dude, the song, and specifically the version from Shrek of Hallelujah, is such a fucking banger dude.
Someone said Unwritten. That is like, probably the most recent song that I think is like.
I think, but someone is saying that just because they're, they wanna keep in line with the Basement Yard stuff. Like, we could sit here and say like, Since You've Been Gone.
No, no. I think that the world loves Unwritten.
I think the world loves Unwritten too. I don't know if I'd put it in top 10 songs of all time. We also gotta take songs that are like old ones, you know, like, I'm sure there's someone that's gonna argue like a C. Jaunty, what is it? Like a C. Shanty?
Yeah, I didn't.
Shanty, shant, C. Shanty, what are they called again, guys? Help me.
Sea shanty.
There it is.
They'll be like, oh, really? The greatest song ever is, you know, there once was a ship that put to sea. And one was a, was a billion tea.
A couple of people said Iris by the Googledolls. It's a good song, too.
How does that one go again?
Oh, you know what song I really like?
Never gonna answer me, okay.
Wait, what?
I said, how does that song go again? And then he just went.
And I don't want the world to see me.
Alright, that's good.
You know what song that I really like? Champagne Supernova by Oasis. That's a great song.
You know which song is so intensely slept on? Drops of Jupiter by Train.
That is such a good answer, too. That song's phenomenal.
Like, a- and not even just like the words, because I don't know what they mean, but also like just the.
Yeah, it's like a space.
And I see back in, like, the way he sings it, like, uh, you know, like, Jupiter in a, eh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's a great song. That's a good point. Oh, yo, you know what? Low key, I mean, I don't know how low key it is, but, um,
God Bless a Broken Road by the Rascal Flatts. What a great song.
Is that Life is a Highway?
Same band, different song.
Oh, okay.
What about the, the Gambler?
Oh, oh, you, I, I think I know. Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. Hold on, hold on, I got it, I got it, I got it.
No one's talking. You gotta.
You gotta know when to hold them.
Know when to fold them.
Know when to walk away, know when to run.
It's mad good.
You gotta count your money.
Hey.
And you're sitting at the table. Alright, uh, I mean.
Oh, you know what I did? When I, when I thought of this and I tweeted that landslide, I was like, you know what? I'm gonna watch this. And I watched the landslide scene from Jack Ross.
Don't do that.
I mean, I did.
Yeah, but don't do that, though.
I mean, Stairway to Heaven. Led Zeppelin has some absolute bangerangs on there.
Someone said Layla.
Layla, I mean.
That's a great song, too.
Layla's a great song, but I kinda like the, like, the, like.
The piano part.
The piano part of it more than I do the actual song.
But like, that's.
My dad used to play that all the time.
They're saying Imagine by John Lennon?
But those are people. Overrated. No, it's a good song, but those are people that are just like, I, they're, they're like, you better say it's Imagine by John Lennon. If not, like, you're a piece of shit.
I think it's just like an overrated song. Like, I think that it's a great song and I understand that it probably at that time it was like way more impactful for that time than it was for me. I listened to that song and I'm like, this is a good song. It's not the best song ever.
I mean, it is also like, it is now being tied to one of the most like secondhand embarrassing moments of the last like decade, where those celebrities sang that during the pandemic, as they're sitting in their multimillion dollar mansions and they just open up with, "Hey, imagine there's no heaven." Coming from Gal Gadot of all people, Gal Gadot. You know, it's just, uh, Going to California by Led Zeppelin is one that not a lot of people know of. Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd.
Someone said, "Truly madly deeply." Remember that song?
No, what's that one?
I don't know. If, if you don't know it by name, I don't really know how to sing. Oh, it's a, it's a, "I wanna stand with you on a mountain."
"I wanna live with you in the sea." "And I wanna live like this forever." "Until the sky falls down on me."
I see Respect here by Aretha Franklin.
R E S P beats T.
It's a hard song to do for karaoke if you're hammered, dude.
I mean, we know one per, Ange is like.
Oh my god. "I speed as the sea."
Yo, this girl, I don't want to like, it was like the first time we were hanging out with our friend's, uh, girlfriend at the time. This is wife now, but, um, and she got drunk and we were doing like karaoke and she was like, give me the fuck, and she does, she did Respect, but she was hammered. I was like, I fucking love this girl.
Yeah, she crushed that so, so nicely.
"R P J C H E M E." Oh my, that's so good.
I'm gonna remind you of a song you probably haven't thought about in 20 years, but you know what song is still a banger? Remember the song S E X by Life Jennings?
Nothing you just said makes sense.
S E X, uh, take a deep breath.
Oh dude.
Daddy gonna go crazy.
Life Jennings?
You've never, you don't remember that song? That's a, that's a really, really good song.
Someone said, uh, Hotel California is a great song.
Banger.
They're saying, whatever it takes, who sings that, whatever it takes?
What, undo whatever it takes. I don't think you sang it. Turn this around. No.
I think that's what it is. Someone said Fast Car.
It's also, Fast Car, I mean, Fast Car is a, is a well-known one. I'm just thinking that they're talking about a car. I know it's not, but like, you got a fast car. And it's like, okay, and I, I know there's more meaning behind it. Never been my favorite song.
Someone said, Mr. Brightside, I'm gonna block her.
There are certain songs that I think people confuse popularity with being a great song.
Scenes from an Italian restaurant?
Bottle of red. Look, don't get me started on that song.
A bottle of white.
I have been obsessed with that song lately.
It's a good song. I like the animal.
Things are okay with me these days. Got a new job, got a new office, I got a new life. I got a new wife and the family is fine. Oh. Lost touch long ago. You lost weight, I did not know.
God damn it. So good.
Look, you see this, this is that? We hit it.
Hope, hopelessly devoted to you?
But now, there's nowhere to hide. Would you push my love aside?
I can't, I, I'm, I'm still a little horsey raspy. Hopelessly devoted is so fucking crazy. Defying gravity is up there as a knocker of a song.
I said this the other day too, I think the melody, there's, there's melodies in Landslide that I'm like, there's no way someone can hear that and not like it. There has to be something scientific about that melody that's so good. And I feel the same way about a certain melody in For Good.
Yeah, I haven't heard it yet, but...
You've never heard "Four Good"?
I haven't seen the second part.
You've never like, heard the song?
Are you insane? You've really never heard that song before?
Yeah, no, I haven't yet.
Oh, it's beautiful, dude.
Sure, I'm sure it is.
Oh my god, you gotta hea- you gotta, oh come on!
I'm sure it is.
People argue that's better than "Defying Gravity".
Okay, we'll see. Um, I, I, I mean, we could go on and on and on. I mean, my music taste is gonna bring out, you know, like, "Hey Jude" is one of the greatest songs of all time.
Frank, I saw a video recently, and I was like, this could be, this is like,
the greatest, maybe, moment ever. But it was, that's dramatic, but like, uh, Paul McCartney was doing a concert, and he's doing "Hey Jude", and he's playing the piano, and it's just a sea of people, and he just goes, "Nah", and then he stands up, and the crowd is nah nah nah.
That's gotta be crazy.
And nah nah nahing?
So loud.
That's gotta be-
There's nothing better than that.
That's gotta be bananas, that feeling. I mean, there's also gotta be something crazy, I mean, Paul McCartney, obviously, is a music legend and like, has a ton of songs, but like, the idea of creating something and then it lasts that long-
Crazy.
And it's like, still selling out stadiums-
Sixty years after it came out-
It's wild.
Is bananas. And then he'll throw in like, one of his modern songs, people are like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah", "Get to 'Hey Jude'", you know, like-
That's just nuts.
I wonder who does that? Like, what's the reason my songs like-
Staying power.
It's so hard to appeal to a completely different generation, and you've done it, not even the one below you, but like, continuously.
I think that there, like, at least I could, I, like, there are certain sounds and music genres that are so specifically tied to when they came out, that they don't have the legs to last forever. I mean, like, a lot of people talk about like, hair metal of like, the eighties like that, you know? Like, Whitesnake and Guns N' Roses, like, they've made songs that last, but a lot of their stuff is like, it stays right where it is. And you see that now, a lot with like, modern hip-hop, people feel that way. You know, even hip-hop from when we were kids, you know, like, the sound of like- You know, like disturbing the peace, like that Atlanta sound, or even like out west, like the hyphy sound, like people feel like it's so representative of that time that it doesn't have legs. You know, I mean, yo, like, have you ever heard like OG rap?
It's all about this.
And like, it's.
Like slick rick and shit?
Yeah, like, it's so like, it's tied to a time, so it's not going to last forever, but like, the stuff that is just like, you could play this anytime and it still works.
You know, Hey Jude's like that. I think a lot of like, classic rock is like that, like, it just, it wrote like, the standard for that genre.
I mean, I don't know. I think a lot of classic rock is like, not gonna make it to Gen Z.
I mean, I think it's already made it fifty years. If you can last fifty years.
Oh, I mean, what's the oldest song?
It's gotta be like a Gregorian chant.
It's the, like, the tiptoe through the windows, like, that era.
Oh, some shit like that?
There, I mean, there's hymns that, that come before that.
No, I meant like, like, the oldest, like, popular song that we all like.
I mean, ask fucking, you know, a brittle boy over here.
Gregorian chants is hilarious.
There's songs from like.
I used to have a, an electric piano that, one of the settings on it was Gregorian, and you could just play, and it would sound like, yeah, it was very weird.
I mean, I, I remember, I would listen to the Pandora station, like, Queen radio, and they would mix in, like, Glenn Miller Band, like, like.
I don't even, who's Glenn Miller Band? I know Steve Miller Band.
Well, Steve, Glenn Miller Band is like, an older, like, you know, like, the, they did music during, like, World War II, where it was like.
But like, they had music at that time, you know, and, I, I, that's probably like, the thirties or forties.
Do you know what the number one song of all time is? Like, the number one, uh, like, on metrics? It's the best-selling single ever. Do you know what that is?
Hmm. Would we know?
I think so.
Give us an era?
Or give me a genre.
Christmas songs.
Oh, then it's gotta be Jingle Bells or White Christmas. There's like tense Christmas songs.
It's White Christmas, Bing Crosby. It's number one.
Best selling single ever.
Dreaming of a wha- I mean, there you go. Staying Power.
That's wild. What is, does it have like the numbers?
Um, is the best selling single ever fifty million copies? It might be a different, it might be a different like, like you had to sell fifty million like.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like also.
Streaming now. Making one song and it does fifty million.
Yeah, dude. I mean.
Damn Bing. Bing, bang, boom.
Uh, there, there are other songs that like, like, do you know what the greatest, this is what I meant to say. Do you know what like, I, I'm pretty sure that, you know, the best selling album of all time?
Yeah, Eagles Greatest Hits.
Yeah. That's so like.
Eagles are great, but that's very random.
Uh, to me it is too, cause it's like the Eagles, of course they're a big band, but they don't feel like the biggest band in the world. They're bigger than fucking the Beatles?
Well, I think the second one was for a while, it was Michael Jackson. I think it was Thriller.
Yeah, you're, they're bigger than Michael Jackson?
I think Michael Jackson retook the top.
So, but it's, it's those two. I'm seeing like it's, it's pretty much.
Eagles Greatest Hits was like the top selling album ever.
Which is such a strange like, again, I love the, the Eagles.
Great album.
I, I mean, it's, it's just like, that's a cop out like.
It's a greatest hits.
It's a greatest hits album, but like a straight like hits album was Thriller because every song in there became a hit. But yeah, weird, weird, weird.
Bro, I came in and met like, even fifty cent, like coming out with Get Rich or Die Trying and then, bro, you're selling like literally an overnight success.
You literally come out, put one album out and it's like you're rich forever, basically.
But then he's, but then he also put out, you know, St. Valentine's Day Massacre, or what was it called? The Massacre?
The Massacre.
The Massacre. I think it came out around Valentine's Day.
Beg for Mercy too.
Beg for Mercy, which you know how I feel about that.
The unit album, bro.
That was, that was Beg for Mercy.
That was so good.
You know how I feel about that album. Top to bottom, all hits.
Was it you who had the poster?
Uh, I don't think I had the poster-
Might've been Dylan.
But I did have a printout of the lyrics to every single song.
Yeah, that was my favorite part about getting physical, uh-
When you'd open it and it had the lyrics in it?
Had the lyrics and I was like, oh, I can, now I know the words.
There are some, I have some old vinyls that have that too. It'll be like, you know, Steve Miller Band.
And it'll be like, The Joker, you know, uh, fucking-
Yo, Jet Airliner, that is one of my, like, that's up there for me.
Jet Airliner's a good one.
I love that song. It's so nostalgic for me. It reminds me, like, of being, like, fucking-
I think there's another one on there called, uh, oh, well, Take the Money and Run, Swing Town. Swing Town's a banger too.
That whole album is fucking crazy.
Swimming Pools by Kendrick Lamar reminds me of Minecraft.
Of what?
Minecraft.
I used to just listen to that song on replay while playing Minecraft, so now every time I hear it, I think about Minecraft.
And then you gotta go yearn for the mines.
What's, what song reminds you of, like, your parents?
I have one for each of them, obviously. Landslide is my mom.
Uh, that's the easy one.
Uh, that's like my mom's song, like-
She loves that song.
Oh my god. There's also another one, if, if we're gonna just go away from Landslide, uh, called Vahivala.
Is that, oh, I'm thinking of the Jewish-
No, no, no, you're thinking of Hava.
Um, it's like a, it's, I'm pretty sure it's Loggins and Messina.
What is it, Nahivahala?
Vahivala.
That was not-
Vahivala, oh boy, say la, vahivala, oh boy, eh, eh, eh. Uh, it's, it's really good. And then my dad, it's, uh, it's a Spanish song.
Uh, from the Gypsy Kings.
You know what song reminds me of your dad? I'm dead serious.
Oh, boy.
Party like a rock star.
Cause he probably, like, pulled up in his car blasting it.
No, I, I have a very, like, vivid memory of, uh, him picking me up.
At my house in a giant car.
And we drove to pick you up because you were somewhere, I don't even know where. And then we went to McDonald's and then we went to Connecticut for the first time. And you were blasting party like a rock star. So it reminds me of your dad because he was like.
I have a bunch of songs.
He was trying to hold your hand and shit. Like I got the whole dad experience right there.
Hotel California reminds me of your dad.
That's a good one.
I would say landslide.
Reminds me of my dad. That's my dad's favorite song.
Landslide also reminds me of your mom. Uh, but then like my dad, there's like random ones that like my dad is like obsessed with. You know, like my dad once, I remember it was like Christmas Eve and we were driving and this was like later in life. It was like 2009 and the song, We Are Young by Fun came on.
Your dad loved it?
And I remember looking over at my dad and like my sister and brothers were in the back. I was in the front seat, favorite child. And, uh, I look over at my dad and we were like singing the song and I look over and he's hysterically crying.
So like to this day, that kind of ties it.
Tonight we are young and he's like, oh god.
But like my dad, like, there's like two songs that my dad loves from the Gypsy. One's from the Gypsy Kings and one's from Jorge Celadon.
Caminando por la calle from the Gypsy Kings.
No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's actually a banger. And then, uh, Esta vida by Jorge Celadon. It's just like, que bonita es esta. Like how beautiful is this life?
You know, that's it.
What about you? I was thinking about it while you guys were talking. I think for my mom, it might be Carry On My Wayward Son.
Kansas? Yeah, it might be Kansas.
Bang. I could see your mom tearing the dance floor up to that.
And then my dad, it's like anything by Pitbull probably.
That sucks.
Pitbull reminds you of your dad? Yeah. Oh my god. Probably Pitbull.
I, listen, your dad, I've met him, he's a nice guy. I just want to say this, that sucks.
Yeah, yeah, no, it's not great.
Not great.
Anything by Pitbull.
Anything, anything by Pitbull, by the way.
Just hearing Pitbull.
Just like the idea that your dad gets in the car, puts the music on and it's, Mr. 305, and he's just like on a leisurely drive to work. The fucking Pitbull screaming at you.
Yeah. Tiere tremendo.
Isn't that Pitbull?
I don't even know what you're saying.
Oh, whatever.
Mr. Worldwide, you know?
That is Mr. Worldwide for Mr. Yellow.
Is your dad worldwide?
I don't think so.
I wouldn't say that at all.
I wouldn't say he's worldwide.
He's pretty just, alright.
Interesting, very interesting.
My dad's not worldwide either.
Yeah, that's, it happens.
Do you have any songs that remind you of your siblings?
Any songs that remind me of my siblings?
My brother, while you're thinking, my brother's is, uh, Ambition by Wale.
God, that reminds me of him too.
They were so obsessed with that song.
They loved Wale.
They were like obsessed, like it was like borderline weird. And then my sister?
That's a tough one. Like, anything from like Grease, because we loved that stuff growing up. Uh, she, she loved, uh, Usher.
Yeah. I mean, your family reminds me of that incest song. Well, it's not, the song about-
Stop, stop that, Joey.
The song isn't about-
No way.
The song isn't about incest. You guys make it about incest.
No, no, no. It is about having sex in a car, but yes, when you like the song and your siblings and parents like it, it is, it is then weird.
Well, when you're, when you're on opposite sides of the room and yelling it at each other.
To be fair, I'm not yelling it at my sister when I'm singing that song. I'm yelling it at the other, the other people that are not related to me by blood.
Yeah, I don't know. I don't think there's songs, like, all like those, like Taking Back Sunday and Dashboard Confessionals, those remind me of like Shannon Thomas.
Yeah, like Check Yes Juliet.
Yeah, well, that was like later, but it was a little older they remind me of.
Was it Banana Pancakes?
Jack Johnson. Oh, that reminds me of my brother Thomas. He was really into that.
The Remedy and You're Gonna Love Me by The Backwoods is Keith.
Oh, wow, those are good choices. Keith loves those.
I know those are big songs in the San Diego.
Semi Charmed Life, Keith knows every single word. Um, so that may be for him, but, yeah, it's funny. Man, I love music.
I got songs that remind me of everyone. Like, everyone has a song, you know?
What's Ant's song?
Give me some time. I'll come up with a good one.
It's definitely like a Flo Rida song or something.
Oh, well, yeah, it would probably be something like that. Or it would be like, you know, like, "Around the World" by fucking, because you love that song, by Daft Punk.
I'd rather that. I mean, that's not as, that's not great, I'll be honest.
Is that "Around the World"?
But Flo Rida's not great either. We'll, we'll spend some more time together.
Probably pit bull. I mean, now you're a pit bull for me.
I could see you being a Margaritaville guy.
Oh, my god, you're a Buffeter.
Yeah, you're a Bu-
That sounded like a slur. I could see you just being like a,
you know, like, watching the sun break.
If you like pina colada.
That's a good one, too.
Actually.
I have been on a yacht rock kick. Thank you, Zach. I appreciate that.
There's some, there's some, you know, banger on it. Baby, come back!
Ooh, that's a good one.
"Only a Fool Believes" by the Doobie Brothers.
What's that other Doobie Brothers song that's so good? It's like their song. What is that song? Da-dun. Da, or is that, oh, what song is that?
I mean, you're just gonna have to look up Doobie Brothers songs.
Why he's doing that? What about Beach Boys?
Too old!
Listen to the music. Listen to the music.
Oh, oh, oh! Listen to the music!
And China Grove?
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Yo, they still, like, sell shit.
Good for them. They can pu- push tickets, huh?
Nine million monthly listeners.
Good for them. I'm, I'm one of them, let me tell ya. I'm throwing that bitch on.
Kokomo? No?
Kokomo?
That's too, like, the Beach Boys were too, like, that's too back there.
Bro, wouldn't it be nice? Fucking nuts.
Yeah, it's a good song.
That's like my age group, you know?
Well, apparently, that's your Spotify age group, yeah.
That song is so fucking good.
Uh, yeah, I can't remember any other ones off the top of my head.
All right, well, we could do this all day, but we're not gonna do it all day. But thank you, guys, so much for, uh, you know, sticking around for the entire episode. We appreciate it. Uh, Frank, where can they find you?
Uh, F Alvarez, eighty-eighty-five on Twitter. Because it won't let me change it. The Frank Alvarez everywhere else. TBYTore merch dot com. If you wanna get your hands on some tour merch while it's still available, go, go, go take a gander. And then Patreon dot com slash The Basement Yard.
Ant?
Ant Prisco on Instagram.
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