#185 - Sydnee Washington and Marie Faustin

Sydnee Washington and Marie Faustin return to the pod to discuss where the snacks are at in the new Stavvy Baby HQ, not having the lighting optimized for Stav's skin tone when he did their pod, speculations on how Stav hurt his back, random childhood crushes on niche microcelebrities, foot fetishes, checking the Instagram message requests, Mase's viral advice to just give up, and much more. Sydnee, Marie and Stav help callers including a woman who's wondering if she should tell her mom that her dad may not be who she thinks he is, and a girl who's wondering if she was in the wrong for telling a guy from Hinge that his bathroom was disgusting. Buy tickets to see Sydnee Washington perform her show "My Black Barbie Story" at Edinburgh Fringe on August 10-11: https://www.edfringe.com/tickets/whats-on/sydnee-washington-my-black-barbie-story Check out Sydnee Washington and Marie Faustin's podcast MESS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mess-with-sydnee-washington-marie-faustin/id1160606309 https://open.spotify.com/show/4vCgiF2E6Wo35ZkzcoedC3 Follow Sydnee Washington on social media: https://www.instagram.com/justsydbw/ https://twitter.com/Justsydnyc https://www.tiktok.com/@justsydbw20 Follow Marie Faustin on social media: https://www.instagram.com/reeezy https://x.com/MsReeezy Thanks to our sponsor! https://www.twistedtea.com/locations Keep It Twisted!! ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Patreon-only episodes at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Stavros Halkias?

  Welcome everybody to Stop This World 904-800-STOP. Call in, we'll solve all your problems. That's awesome, I love what you guys are doing there. This is how we get, this is how we get interest in Greek folk dance back up. We gotta get hot black girls dancing to it.

• 0:18Speaker 01

  We gotta get blacks, the blacks, it's work.

• 0:21Speaker 02

  We will be twerking.

• 0:23Stavros Halkias?

  That is honestly a dynamite strategy. Culturally speaking, that is how you get something successful. And then, everybody else steals it.

• 0:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, and then it's no longer cool.

• 0:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, exactly, that is true.

• 0:33Speaker 02

  Then your people will just be doing an offbeat and an ugly white sneaker rundown, drinking a matcha on the glory side.

• 0:41Stavros Halkias?

  I've never fucking had a matcha in my life, alright? Stop lumping me in with every type of white person, I'm a very specific type.

• 0:48Speaker 01

  Specific type of white.

• 0:49Stavros Halkias?

  Greek, Greek people are not, we're not the, look, we're white, obviously, but we got a little, we're a little strange in comparison.

• 0:56Speaker 02

  Y'all had a little struggle too?

• 0:58Stavros Halkias?

  A little bit, I would say.

• 0:59Speaker 02

  Not like the Irish, but...

• 1:01Stavros Halkias?

  No, the Irish, the Irish probably are, in terms of ranking, white people, probably the Irish do tend to be the coolest ones. Um, they went, just because of, anytime, anybody who's over, who has strife, I think, ends up being cooler and has to create art to get through it and becomes more, a more empathetic group. And so the Irish, the fact that the British were fucking them up for so long, that's, I give them that. Greeks, the Ottoman Empire took over us, but that was 1300 to 1821. Nobody I knew was around during that shit, you know what I mean?

• 1:33Speaker 01

  13, honey. Hey, y'all need to let that go. Y'all still talking about that?

• 1:40Stavros Halkias?

  You're a Turkish supremacist? You're taking the side of my oppressor?

• 1:45Speaker 01

  You gotta let that go. Too much time has passed.

• 1:48Speaker 02

  Ain't nobody wanna hear nothing about that.

• 1:50Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, we're, we're the indigenous population and the Turks came over.

• 1:54Speaker 02

  Indigenous, is that what you're calling them now?

• 1:58Speaker 02

  Even the indigenous can't handle a word. I don't know a single Turk. I know Turks and Caicos. I know two part Caicos.

• 2:09Stavros Halkias?

  We have, as you've noticed, Sidney and Marie are back. You know, we got the new studio, we're trying it out. We wanted some of our favorites here to help open it up.

• 2:18Speaker 01

  So you want us to work? It's incomplete.

• 2:21Stavros Halkias?

  Come on, I don't expect you to be on time or to prepare. I've learned, and that's not racist, that's how you are. That is you personally.

• 2:29Speaker 01

  High five, babe.

• 2:32Speaker 02

  Oh, I thought it was me. Oh, that was for style, wasn't it?

• 2:34Speaker 01

  When you know, you know.

• 2:38Speaker 02

  You were like, hey, we just working out some kinks. Can y'all black bitches come on up through? Come on through, I know you in the area.

• 2:45Speaker 01

  Stop, man, let's take the service entrance.

• 2:48Stavros Halkias?

  Girls, please, the freight elevator.

• 2:52Speaker 02

  You know, my doorman can't see ya. Weird, it's crazy. You know what? I'm glad that you've upgraded. This is an upgrade, because we didn't want to come to the Bronx.

• 3:02Stavros Halkias?

  You were dug. Queens, thank you very much.

• 3:04Speaker 02

  You changed, you changed. And, you know, we had to come in and season this up.

• 3:07Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 3:08Speaker 02

  Because the walls are just too white.

• 3:10Stavros Halkias?

  Listen, we're getting there.

• 3:11Speaker 02

  I'm kicking shit over, making it lived in.

• 3:14Stavros Halkias?

  We're gonna paint them, we're gonna do the mural all the way through. We just, we're gonna make that front like a fun lounge zone. We just bought a sick couch to go with our 100-inch TV. It's not L-shaped, it's one of those, it's just like a, every seat reclines. It's a sofa where all three of them go all the way the fuck back. Zero G.

• 3:35Speaker 01

  That is beige culture right there.

• 3:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 3:38Speaker 01

  A bunch of recliners that go straight back.

• 3:39Stavros Halkias?

  100%. That, I will, that, I will admit, that is suburban, white, type of like den.

• 3:46Speaker 02

  Dad, it's dad culture, for sure.

• 3:48Stavros Halkias?

  And I would argue, I would like to say it's dad, it's also uncle.

• 3:52Speaker 02

  Uncle, yeah.

• 3:53Stavros Halkias?

  Because I'm very much in the, in the unk phase of my life now. I am an uncle officially. My brother has a cute little, you know, little fucking fat 18-month-old running around right now. So I'm very unkt up. I want to get...

• 4:05Speaker 02

  Unkt up, that's a good one.

• 4:06Stavros Halkias?

  I want to get, you know, big... Big ass couches, big TV, watch a bunch of dumb action movies in here.

• 4:11Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 4:12Stavros Halkias?

  That's where I'm at in my life. I'm the, I'm gonna be the, I'm gonna be this kid's fun uncle. I wanna get like a couple arcade machines in this motherfucker.

• 4:19Speaker 01

  I was gonna say, we need some machines in here.

• 4:21Stavros Halkias?

  What are you thinking? I'm thinking maybe time crisis.

• 4:23Speaker 02

  What about the snacks?

• 4:24Stavros Halkias?

  Dude.

• 4:25Speaker 02

  I can't believe you came here, no snacks.

• 4:27Stavros Halkias?

  Sid, I apologize actually, because that is a great, I actually am embarrassed to have a, uh, believe me, the next time you come here, the snacks are gonna fucking knock your socks off.

• 4:36Speaker 02

  Okay, cuz I'm weak.

• 4:39Speaker 01

  What snacks you gonna have here? It's gonna be pop chips?

• 4:41Stavros Halkias?

  No, I'm not, this is a corporate office. That's the beauty of it. We have all the trappings of one of those like early 2010s.com like, you know, I used to work for, I had a writing job in one of those, but I'm, I'm the fucking boss, so it's like, we're gonna have probably, we'll probably have one of those big cheese balls. We'll always have one of those big things of cheese balls, always. We'll have the-

• 5:03Speaker 02

  You're gonna go to Costco for all the snacks?

• 5:04Stavros Halkias?

  We're going to Costco, babe, absolutely. We were just, we were just, me and Elders just, actually my shirt, the New York Sumo Club. We went to Industry City to buy our big ass recliner, and they had like a fucking little sumo match in there. Um, and there's a Costco right there, so I foresee another trip to Industry City, stock up on snacks.

• 5:23Speaker 02

  Let me come through with y'all. Like, can y'all get a couple, you know, for our studio that we got going on?

• 5:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I would like, yeah, that's-

• 5:29Speaker 01

  I'm not stocking our studio. I don't work there. I pass through there barely. I do one or two episodes a week anyway.

• 5:38Speaker 02

  When I say studio, I meant my place.

• 5:41Stavros Halkias?

  You mean your studio apartment?

• 5:42Speaker 02

  Yeah. Too bad, too bad.

• 5:45Stavros Halkias?

  You mean that when you pull the curtain to, uh, separate from Dwayne's room? That's what you call your studio?

• 5:50Speaker 02

  First of all, that's my first apartment, the one we're at right now.

• 5:56Speaker 01

  And that is culture, okay?

• 5:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, how dare you?

• 6:02Speaker 02

  That is also uncultural.

• 6:03Stavros Halkias?

  That is a beaded curtain, absolutely. That's auntie.

• 6:06Speaker 02

  That's auntie for sure.

• 6:08Stavros Halkias?

  And that is the phase of life we're in, whether you like it or not. But, you know, and that is also another reason I wanted you guys here because I think I might have been the first episode in your new studio.

• 6:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:18Stavros Halkias?

  And it's, there was literally like Polish motherfuckers sawing and hammering outside while we were recording.

• 6:23Speaker 01

  I knew he was gonna bring this up.

• 6:26Speaker 02

  Not gonna be something that just happened. You're like, forget about it. You wanted to bring us here to drag us. About unprofessional women.

• 6:34Stavros Halkias?

  No, I didn't say that.

• 6:35Speaker 02

  He was over there telling me, he said, well, maybe you need to move it to the right.

• 6:38Stavros Halkias?

  No, I literally was.

• 6:39Speaker 02

  He was actually literally helping them with the lighting.

• 6:41Stavros Halkias?

  I was telling them how to light it. It was hilarious, but I've seen, uh, episode, our episode, lighting's a little harsh, but we did some bangers, right?

• 6:49Speaker 02

  Well, the lighting was harsh for you.

• 6:51Stavros Halkias?

  It's true. Listen, what do you want from me? What the fuck do you want from me? You, you want me to say, yeah, you got a white balance for certain skin tones. We need a different, I needed a different gel on my shit. You should have made me orange or a little more tan or some shit.

• 7:05Speaker 02

  We had the Oprah Winfrey studio lighting that made Oprah look good and all the guests look dry.

• 7:12Stavros Halkias?

  That is true.

• 7:12Speaker 02

  Glowing, glowing from the bottom is always up, you know?

• 7:15Stavros Halkias?

  That is true. Next time I do the pod, I'm gonna come with just straight from grease, fresh tan. I think that'll help a lot. It was winter, I was a little pasty, I wasn't outside very much.

• 7:25Speaker 02

  Your hair was long, that's all that mattered.

• 7:27Stavros Halkias?

  My hair was long, that's true.

• 7:28Speaker 01

  You were just gotten back from Arizona, I think.

• 7:30Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's right, you called me on my pho, oh man, you called me right before my life fucking, uh, went in the, down the tubes.

• 7:37Speaker 02

  I know, you told us about this, how do you feel?

• 7:39Stavros Halkias?

  I'm, I'm pretty bad right now, to be honest with you. Cause when I saw you guys, I just, I was like, damn, I'm gonna completely change my life. I'm skipping the holidays, I'm doing a health retreat.

• 7:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:49Stavros Halkias?

  And I come back from that, and maybe like right after I do your pod, I fuck my back up, and so.

• 7:54Speaker 02

  How you fuck your back up, stop, you was trying to pick up a quarter?

• 7:59Stavros Halkias?

  Since when am I fucking cheap?

• 8:02Speaker 02

  I was about to make a joke and I said, you know what?

• 8:04Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe something else.

• 8:04Speaker 01

  How you hurt your back, man?

• 8:06Stavros Halkias?

  Pick up, how about this, pick up some wings, let's keep it fat at least. You know what I mean? What did you, did you drop your fucking Twix bar? Something like that.

• 8:12Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 8:13Stavros Halkias?

  I don't appreciate-

• 8:14Speaker 01

  That's my second rule, ah!

• 8:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, exactly, exactly. I don't appreciate being called cheap. Call me fat, that's fine, but...

• 8:19Speaker 02

  Okay, okay.

• 8:20Stavros Halkias?

  No, I was, I was fucking, I was lifting weights and I just fucked it up.

• 8:24Speaker 02

  Oh, is that, is that what you're telling the people?

• 8:26Stavros Halkias?

  First of all-

• 8:26Speaker 01

  That was a-

• 8:27Stavros Halkias?

  I told you I fucking broke my arm on a scooter. Why, I, I told you the truth about that.

• 8:31Speaker 01

  That was a skateboard!

• 8:32Stavros Halkias?

  No, I was lying to you.

• 8:36Speaker 02

  We can't keep up.

• 8:37Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 8:40Speaker 02

  And you know what's wild, Stavi? He was on the pod and towards the end, he was kinda like gloating about all the good things that was happening in his life.

• 8:48Stavros Halkias?

  I wasn't gloating.

• 8:49Speaker 01

  I don't know about using words.

• 8:49Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know about-

• 8:50Speaker 02

  Okay, okay. I'm obviously-

• 8:52Stavros Halkias?

  Gloating means, yeah, you fucking idiots, I'm doing movies, what are you doing? I didn't do that. I said, hey, I'm having a good ti- you know, my shit's going good.

• 8:59Speaker 02

  Oh, that's what you did when I was on your pod with Dwayne.

• 9:02Stavros Halkias?

  That's true.

• 9:03Speaker 02

  You were like, you don't know about filmmaking, you don't know about being on TV, you don't know about getting an apartment on your own. That's what you did when I was on your- My bad, I'm sorry.

• 9:12Stavros Halkias?

  Me and Dwayne were double teaming you for a while, that was awesome.

• 9:15Speaker 01

  Can I get a, can I get a part-

• 9:16Speaker 02

  Double teaming?

• 9:16Speaker 01

  Oh. Tell people that's how you hurt your back.

• 9:21Speaker 02

  You're DPing Sid. Two guys, one girl, that's what-

• 9:25Stavros Halkias?

  The only straight, that's a hilarious threesome, a gay guy, let's meet on a straight guy. No one's having a good time.

• 9:31Speaker 02

  No one's having a good time.

• 9:34Speaker 02

  Actually, it was so fun, so-

• 9:36Stavros Halkias?

  That was a great pod.

• 9:37Speaker 02

  No.

• 9:37Stavros Halkias?

  Um, yes, I was, I was just remar- things were going well and I was kinda like, something bad's gonna happen, and it did.

• 9:44Speaker 01

  That's usually how these things go.

• 9:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. But, it's alright.

• 9:47Speaker 01

  You're feeling good, something bad is gonna happen.

• 9:49Stavros Halkias?

  It's alright, we're rebuilding, we're okay, we're doing alright. What's up, what's up with you gals? I haven't seen you in a while. I like Maria, I love the denim on denim. You both look great today.

• 9:57Speaker 01

  Yeah!

• 9:58Stavros Halkias?

  What do you got going on? Just, this just your everyday look?

• 10:00Speaker 01

  Well, I did take a microdose of a, of a mushroom gummy today.

• 10:04Stavros Halkias?

  Ooh, respect.

• 10:05Speaker 01

  It felt like a good day to do that.

• 10:06Stavros Halkias?

  It's a beautiful day, it's like eighty degrees. Degrees out this motherfucker?

• 10:09Speaker 01

  Nine degrees outside.

• 10:10Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 10:10Speaker 02

  You know, Marie is the only person that I kinda get FOMO from like drugs and alcohol.

• 10:18Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 10:18Speaker 02

  I won't lie.

• 10:19Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 10:20Speaker 02

  You always make it like so chill and it's never like you're having it.

• 10:24Speaker 01

  Well, cuz I'm not doing crack.

• 10:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:25Speaker 01

  I'm not Lamar Odom with it.

• 10:28Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know. Some of those weekends in Nevada sounded pretty cool to me.

• 10:34Stavros Halkias?

  Doing a bunch of crack and running up an eight hundred, you know, like a ten thousand dollar whatever tab at a, at a high end, uh, uh, uh, cat house.

• 10:41Speaker 01

  Wasn't he on like Viagra or something and they were like, you're only supposed to take one and he took twelve?

• 10:45Speaker 02

  He got it from the bodega though. He didn't even get like the real Cialis. Like what'd you get from a pharmacist?

• 10:52Speaker 01

  What's that called? The stuff you get at the gas station?

• 10:54Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, there are a couple of different variants. There's, uh, I believe Rhino is one of them. There's, um, uh,

• 11:01Speaker 02

  Which one you use?

• 11:01Stavros Halkias?

  Street Overlord. Not Street, Stre. And it's two, it's two characters from, um, I believe Street Fighter having sex with each other. That's what's on there.

• 11:11Speaker 01

  Okay, okay. Uh, Chun-Li and?

• 11:13Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and I think it was Ryu. No, no, no. She wasn't getting, she wasn't getting shit rocked by Blanca.

• 11:20Stavros Halkias?

  Although I bet if, yeah, certain style of lovemaking, if that's your thing, I bet you Blanca would put you through the mattress, no problem. Let's rank Street Fighter characters on who fucks the best.

• 11:31Speaker 02

  The one who's got all the, oh, he's.

• 11:32Stavros Halkias?

  The long arms.

• 11:33Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 11:35Stavros Halkias?

  Dalzim can stretch his dick out.

• 11:38Speaker 01

  Dalzim is the best.

• 11:42Speaker 02

  I would take, I would take him, but you're the main person.

• 11:46Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, yeah. An Indian, an Indian sexy Indian lady Dalzim, that would be nice.

• 11:50Speaker 02

  I would love that.

• 11:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I would like to get my, uh, head crushed by, uh, Chun-Li. I think that would be cool.

• 11:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:55Stavros Halkias?

  Those big thighs wrapping around.

• 11:56Speaker 02

  I'll take her toes right in my coochie. She is really dope.

• 11:59Stavros Halkias?

  Now we're talking.

• 12:02Speaker 01

  Right on the clip, right on the clip.

• 12:08Speaker 01

  You know, when you said it, I didn't get it, but now I'm done.

• 12:11Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yes, absolutely. Her finisher would be a... It's kind of a clit tickler if you think about it.

• 12:18Speaker 01

  Her finisher would be Sid's finisher.

• 12:20Speaker 02

  Yeah. You finish her, I'm finished.

• 12:24Speaker 01

  I'm standing in the corner like this.

• 12:28Speaker 02

  Round three.

• 12:31Speaker 01

  I'm like, girl, my car here, I gotta go.

• 12:33Stavros Halkias?

  I'm tired. Yeah. Round two, no thanks, I need to take a nap.

• 12:38Speaker 02

  Round three, I'm already asleep.

• 12:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. I'm already... The Uber Eats is almost here.

• 12:44Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, I'll eat your pussy until the wings are here.

• 12:46Speaker 02

  Whoa, okay, keep going.

• 12:47Speaker 01

  Talk to me now, stop.

• 12:50Stavros Halkias?

  But then I'm done. Then I'm throwing on 30 Rock and smoking a joint.

• 12:56Speaker 02

  30 Rock is your nightcap?

• 12:58Stavros Halkias?

  Nothing wrong with... Yeah, it actually is. Funny show.

• 13:01Speaker 01

  Is that on Hulu or Netflix?

• 13:02Stavros Halkias?

  It is now on Amazon, actually. They move it around a lot.

• 13:05Speaker 01

  It's too many streaming services.

• 13:07Stavros Halkias?

  I know, dude, it's fucking crazy.

• 13:09Speaker 01

  I don't wanna check HBO and Disney and Hulu.

• 13:12Stavros Halkias?

  I'm with you.

• 13:13Speaker 02

  And pay for all of it.

• 13:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 13:14Speaker 02

  They want us to pay for all of it, then we can't pay for all of it.

• 13:17Stavros Halkias?

  That's why, truly, I made a joke in our text thread, but I do believe Tubi is the people's streaming service. I fucking love Tubi.

• 13:23Speaker 02

  It is, it is.

• 13:23Stavros Halkias?

  I fucking love Tubi.

• 13:24Speaker 02

  Speaking of things on the horizon.

• 13:26Speaker 01

  Tubi's for free.

• 13:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:27Speaker 01

  And that's why it's for the people, the people ain't got no money.

• 13:29Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 13:30Speaker 02

  And Marie's show is gonna be on there.

• 13:31Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, I thought you were dragging me.

• 13:33Speaker 02

  No, no, no.

• 13:34Stavros Halkias?

  No, I literally was saying... I was literally saying Tubi's awesome, but is that, is that real?

• 13:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:39Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck yeah, that rules, dude.

• 13:41Speaker 01

  I'm shooting three episodes a year.

• 13:42Stavros Halkias?

  Hell, yeah.

• 13:43Speaker 01

  Of my dating show.

• 13:44Speaker 02

  You just assumed because she's black, but...

• 13:45Stavros Halkias?

  No, I would've said Zeus Network.

• 13:47Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 13:49Stavros Halkias?

  If I was being racist, I would've said Zeus.

• 13:51Speaker 01

  Is Zeus your god?

• 13:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I know. How about, oh, a little cultural appropriation the other way? Nice change for, nice change of pace.

• 13:59Speaker 01

  Well, black people's Zeus is spelled with a dollar sign instead of an S. Zeus or extra asses.

• 14:06Stavros Halkias?

  I love that. Yeah, that's fucking awesome. So, uh, uh, why, why are you single?

• 14:12Speaker 01

  Why are you single? Three episodes.

• 14:14Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck yes, dude.

• 14:15Speaker 01

  That's what they bought.

• 14:16Stavros Halkias?

  Dude, that rules. That's fucking awesome. Yeah.

• 14:18Speaker 01

  Thank you. I wish I could fast forward through the whole process.

• 14:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 14:22Speaker 01

  I was talking to my homegirl and she was like, you only get one first time to do it the first time.

• 14:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 14:26Speaker 01

  Savor it.

• 14:27Stavros Halkias?

  That's perfect. That show is fucking awesome. You're great at it. And I honestly, I think I was shocked it took this long to get you on TV because that's a great idea.

• 14:34Speaker 01

  I'm also shocked.

• 14:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 14:36Speaker 01

  I can't believe it. It's long.

• 14:38Speaker 02

  They're saving the best for last. You know what I'm saying? Because the whole thing is about to be shut down. So you might as well put.

• 14:43Speaker 01

  What's about to be shut down?

• 14:44Speaker 02

  I mean.

• 14:45Speaker 01

  Zeus?

• 14:45Speaker 02

  No.

• 14:48Speaker 01

  You talking to Natalie Nunn?

• 14:49Speaker 02

  No. But I do what I want. No, I think like, you know, the government, the world, all that. Yeah. It's just like, they're talking about another, what is it? A kunamata virus, like something.

• 15:03Stavros Halkias?

  The Hunter virus.

• 15:04Speaker 01

  A hickory smoke.

• 15:07Speaker 01

  Hunter Tanta.

• 15:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but that's all shit. I think that's all cruise ship stuff.

• 15:12Speaker 01

  They let them off the ship.

• 15:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:13Speaker 01

  They walk amongst us now.

• 15:15Stavros Halkias?

  That's tough.

• 15:15Speaker 02

  They went on a plane right after.

• 15:17Stavros Halkias?

  That sucks. Yeah.

• 15:17Speaker 02

  And then they went to grandma's, you know, birthday.

• 15:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's fucked up.

• 15:21Stavros Halkias?

  It was like that one, remember like when COVID was starting and there was like one lady who like got on a flight, went skiing, went to like a soccer game. Like this bitch was like doing everything. They worked at a soup kitchen. You know what I mean? Like did everything.

• 15:34Speaker 01

  She's coughing on the grill cheeses.

• 15:35Stavros Halkias?

  It was fucking hilarious.

• 15:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, um, I feel like I've watched enough of those movies, like 28 Days Later.

• 15:42Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 15:43Speaker 01

  You know, it's always one person that's like, I haven't been bit and then they got bit.

• 15:46Stavros Halkias?

  The person who's always hiding. Yeah, of course.

• 15:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, just the lady in the soup kitchen.

• 15:49Stavros Halkias?

  Well, you know, I think we'll be all right. I think we'll survive Hunter virus. I don't even know what the fuck it is. I just can't even think about it. Would you, what would you do if you had to lock down again?

• 16:00Speaker 02

  Oh, we're not. I'm not. I'm not locking down. I locked down before.

• 16:04Speaker 01

  I went to Atlanta.

• 16:06Speaker 01

  I moved to a red, a red city where nobody cares.

• 16:10Stavros Halkias?

  Atlanta's fucking blue, what are you talking about?

• 16:12Speaker 01

  Florida, in Atlanta, it's like, it's the south.

• 16:15Stavros Halkias?

  Florida's where you need to, oh, Texas.

• 16:18Speaker 01

  Florida, no, the Gators got rights and guns. What? The Gators got guns.

• 16:24Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know.

• 16:24Speaker 02

  Listen, I'm standing right here, I'm not, I'm just not do, I'm not listening to any of the rules, I'm doing whatever the fuck I want. Because I did what I was supposed to do last time, and I ended up getting it anyway. So it's like, I might as well just at least make out, come outside.

• 16:39Speaker 01

  If it kills me, then what's, what am I supposed to do, Stav? Come back here to the pod?

• 16:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, do it as a ghost. I'm just saying, what if, what if it's more, I, I just think this one, they're saying is more lethal, but it's not gonna happen. I think it's, it's not a, and I'm saying that with literally no knowledge whatsoever. And it's more of a hope, because yes, I also would blow my brains out if I had to lock down again.

• 17:00Speaker 01

  If we gotta lock down again, first of all, the kids definitely never gonna learn how to read.

• 17:05Speaker 02

  And the way that they can't read now?

• 17:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 17:08Speaker 01

  They cannot read now, they, well, they'll never learn.

• 17:10Stavros Halkias?

  You're so right.

• 17:11Speaker 01

  So, yeah, yeah, I guess I gotta...

• 17:14Speaker 02

  I, I'm not, the, the thing is, is that I tried to do the hobby thing, I tried to, you know, make others happy, spread positivity, all that, no.

• 17:23Stavros Halkias?

  How were you doing that?

• 17:23Speaker 02

  Oh, with my cooking show.

• 17:25Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, and I loved the cooking show.

• 17:26Speaker 01

  Yes, was Stav ever a guest?

• 17:27Stavros Halkias?

  I was on it, of course.

• 17:28Speaker 02

  Yes, he was.

• 17:29Speaker 01

  Do you remember what Sidney made when you were on Sid Can Cook?

• 17:31Speaker 02

  I was, I was supposed to make something that was like, from Vietnamese, what's the rolls?

• 17:37Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, spring rolls?

• 17:38Speaker 02

  Spring rolls or something like that.

• 17:40Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 17:40Speaker 01

  So you had Stav on for that?

• 17:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, I had.

• 17:43Speaker 01

  Why didn't I have them all?

• 17:44Stavros Halkias?

  A light appetizer?

• 17:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, what about some kebabs?

• 17:49Speaker 01

  I was going for an olive, like, starter dish.

• 17:53Stavros Halkias?

  Tapanod?

• 17:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, tzatziki, I'm like, come on, Stav, we gonna make some tzatziki, let me, tell me how to make that white sauce.

• 17:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's good, I'll make you, I'll, I'll, I honestly do have a nice tzatziki method.

• 18:04Speaker 02

  I'm sure, now that you eat vegetables and stuff, you drink water, I'm sure your tzatziki is great.

• 18:08Stavros Halkias?

  You called me when I was at my most healthiest, I've been like depressed and like eating like shit.

• 18:12Speaker 01

  You haven't eaten vegetables?

• 18:13Stavros Halkias?

  I've been eating okay, but no ve, not really any veggies.

• 18:15Speaker 01

  Stav, name three vegetables now, quick, fast.

• 18:18Stavros Halkias?

  I can name three of them, doesn't mean I ate them.

• 18:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, but name three, top three.

• 18:21Stavros Halkias?

  Zucchini, broccoli, spinach. Easy.

• 18:24Speaker 01

  Is spinach a, is spinach a vegetable? That's a lagoon, man.

• 18:28Stavros Halkias?

  No, it's definitely not a lagoon. You fucking dumbass.

• 18:34Speaker 02

  I was like, what lagoon, baby? I was like, what's a lagoon?

• 18:38Stavros Halkias?

  A lagoon.

• 18:40Speaker 02

  I was like, is that Haitian?

• 18:41Stavros Halkias?

  Sid wants to do backstrokes in beans. Lagumes or beans and shit.

• 18:46Speaker 02

  Oh, I thought a lagoon was like somewhere that Little Mermaid was hanging at.

• 18:50Speaker 01

  That's a lagoon.

• 18:52Stavros Halkias?

  With an N.

• 18:53Speaker 01

  We're saying lagoon.

• 18:54Stavros Halkias?

  Lagoon.

• 18:54Speaker 02

  Oh, well, y'all wasn't saying it right.

• 18:57Stavros Halkias?

  That's right. It was us. You're right.

• 18:58Speaker 02

  That's what I heard.

• 18:59Stavros Halkias?

  Elders, what's the exact definition of a lagoon? Because it's a specific body of water. I loved, this is a great teaching moment for all of us. Lagoon or lagoon? Lagoon, dumbass.

• 19:09Speaker 02

  See? He couldn't hear either. It's y'all. Y'all not pronouncing it right.

• 19:14Speaker 01

  There's too much square footage in here. We can't.

• 19:16Speaker 02

  It is. Remember when we were in that box?

• 19:18Stavros Halkias?

  You motherfuckers aren't happy with anything. I bring you a huge Studio Manhattan. I still have to hear it.

• 19:24Speaker 01

  Ain't no AC in here, Elijah.

• 19:26Stavros Halkias?

  We're working on the AC. We're getting the kinks out.

• 19:31Speaker 02

  He said, we're getting the kinks out. Bring the blacks.

• 19:34Speaker 01

  You getting the kinks in this hair, baby.

• 19:38Speaker 02

  Back of the neck. That's where it's at.

• 19:40Stavros Halkias?

  Elders will comb it out. Don't worry about it. Full service.

• 19:44Speaker 02

  He don't know what a comb is.

• 19:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I do.

• 19:45Speaker 02

  He's using his fingers.

• 19:49Stavros Halkias?

  I do that on my hair all the time.

• 19:52Stavros Halkias?

  I need a pick for my hair.

• 19:53Speaker 02

  A pick?

• 19:57Speaker 02

  Pick is not for you.

• 19:58Stavros Halkias?

  Tell us what lagoon is, motherfucker. Who told you to editorialize right now?

• 20:03Speaker 01

  It's my one chance.

• 20:05Speaker 02

  He said, it's my time to shine.

• 20:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, Elders said, a pick, and then looked at you like this. Hoping it would fly. Nah, caught again. This episode is brought to you by Visible. The smartest upgrade this season isn't a new phone. It's a better wireless plan. Switch to Visible, the ultimate wireless hack. You get unlimited 5G data and unlimited hotspot powered by Verizon. We have Visible here at Stobby Baby Enterprises. We love it. We just got a new assistant. She loves it. She's taking all our sushi orders. They're going through the Visible network brought to you by Verizon. It's fast, it's reliable, it's so sick. They sponsor the Stobies World hotline, as you know, and make it possible. For us to help all our callers out. Oh my God, they're the best.

• 20:48Stavros Halkias?

  Switch today at visible.com. The visible plan starts at $25 a month. Or get the premium visible plus pro plan and save $10 on your first month with promo code staff. Terms apply.

• 21:00Speaker 03

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• 21:42Speaker 03

  That's C O O P sleepgoods.com slash comedy.

• 21:46Speaker 04

  A shallow body of water separated from a larger body of water, typically the ocean by natural barrier.

• 21:52Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 21:52Speaker 04

  So it's a really little barrier island or coral reef.

• 21:55Stavros Halkias?

  Gotcha. Okay, that's fun.

• 21:56Speaker 01

  What's a legume?

• 21:58Stavros Halkias?

  It's beans.

• 21:59Speaker 01

  It's not just beans.

• 22:00Stavros Halkias?

  It's be-

• 22:01Speaker 01

  It's leafy green.

• 22:02Stavros Halkias?

  It's definitely not leafy greens.

• 22:03Speaker 02

  Let's see.

• 22:04Speaker 01

  It's not beans.

• 22:05Stavros Halkias?

  All right, here we go. Here we go. Drum roll.

• 22:10Speaker 04

  Any plant in the Fabaceae, case family?

• 22:15Speaker 01

  Hey, if we get locked down, this is fucked. He's fucked.

• 22:19Speaker 04

  That produces seeds inside a pod.

• 22:22Stavros Halkias?

  Well, give us, oh, seeds inside a pod. That's not spinach, dude. Give us a couple.

• 22:26Speaker 01

  Seeds inside a pod.

• 22:27Stavros Halkias?

  It's literally all fucking beans and green beans and that type of shit.

• 22:30Speaker 02

  Tomatoes and tomatoes.

• 22:31Speaker 04

  Black, pink, oh, hidden me navy, Lima, green beans, green peas, no peas, snap peas.

• 22:36Speaker 01

  Oh, Marie, I hate, I hate when a black is wrong.

• 22:41Speaker 02

  Let me get the pics so I can stab.

• 22:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I'll just take it out of your hair, please.

• 22:50Speaker 02

  It's wrong.

• 22:52Speaker 02

  I know he got one of those from the beauty supply store.

• 22:57Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, fuck, yeah. I mean, listen, Eldis was, honestly, Eldis was my first friend. Eldis was a little immigrant child. He was like seven years old with a mace poster on his bedroom wall.

• 23:07Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 23:09Stavros Halkias?

  Eldis got me into rap when we were children, for real.

• 23:12Speaker 04

  Big, big Diddy head, big bad boy head when I was in elementary school.

• 23:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. He still does. He's still a big supporter to this day.

• 23:21Speaker 04

  I love him more than ever these days.

• 23:24Speaker 02

  He's like buying, buying baby oil on behalf of Diddy. Yeah, I see it. I, I was a, I was a mace fan, obviously a Diddy, but my real, the, the one that I was saw as a star, his name was Loon. You remember Loon? He was the hottest guy in the bad boy family.

• 23:42Stavros Halkias?

  Didn't he rap exactly like somebody else? Didn't he like?

• 23:44Speaker 02

  No, no, he didn't. He did not. No, no.

• 23:47Stavros Halkias?

  Was he the guy with a deep voice?

• 23:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's like, how you want that? Tell me how you want it. Yes, he did, but he had an amazing lineup, beautiful waves. He's very sexy tats and all this.

• 23:56Stavros Halkias?

  This is when you were a straight child.

• 23:58Speaker 02

  Yes, I was a straight child. I was in high school. I remember a very, very cold night. I made all of my friends get on the train and go to this random club in Midtown and we waited on a long, long line. It was damn near snowing. We got up in that bin for Loon.

• 24:15Stavros Halkias?

  It was Loon?

• 24:15Speaker 02

  He was late, obviously, and we finally get in and we get to the front. I was like, I gotta get to the front. When I tell you he paved me dust the whole time, I was like, Loon, and I was the only one that knew all the songs. It was like three.

• 24:27Stavros Halkias?

  A Loon super fan.

• 24:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, and my friends were so mad. They were like, this performance was trash. He's bad. They only did it for me. When I tell you, they did not speak to me all 15 stops to get back to Harlem. They were like, if you ever bring us out for something like that, we will not speak to you.

• 24:45Stavros Halkias?

  Look what Loon's up to now. He's converted to Islam.

• 24:49Stavros Halkias?

  He's an Imam now.

• 24:52Speaker 02

  That's something to laugh at. I love that he found himself.

• 24:54Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 24:55Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 24:56Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 24:57Speaker 01

  Louis is a black Israelite?

• 24:59Stavros Halkias?

  No, I think he's not.

• 25:00Speaker 01

  He's yelling at people on the street.

• 25:01Stavros Halkias?

  I think he's the opposite of a black Israelite. He's Muslim now. But you're right, he was a piece of ass back in the day.

• 25:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, look at him. He wasn't into that, Marie?

• 25:08Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, he's cute.

• 25:09Stavros Halkias?

  Marie, what are we talking? What were yours, some of your formative crushes?

• 25:13Speaker 01

  Um, some people that I liked. I liked Lil Zayn.

• 25:17Stavros Halkias?

  Lil Zayn.

• 25:18Speaker 01

  I looked at him as a celebrity.

• 25:21Stavros Halkias?

  It is funny because kids will just latch on to like a weird, random member of a thing, you know what I mean?

• 25:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't even, he wasn't even in a group.

• 25:28Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 25:29Speaker 01

  Calling me, calling me. Say my name, Lil Zayn. Yeah, I just, I loved that song. I saw a poster of him in a magazine and I pulled it out and his, he had abs.

• 25:40Speaker 02

  Oh, he did.

• 25:41Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 25:42Speaker 01

  And I put it on my wall and I kissed his abs.

• 25:45Speaker 02

  He was very short, very short.

• 25:46Speaker 01

  And I just remember my dad coming in one day and being like, what is this? I was like, that's my man.

• 25:53Speaker 01

  Poppy, where are your abs?

• 25:57Speaker 02

  Asking your dad where his abs is is diabolical.

• 26:00Speaker 01

  I'm like, I live in life, we're supposed to live in peace.

• 26:04Speaker 02

  Uh, my cousin Nikki, her crush was Jamie Foxx when he was a singer.

• 26:08Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 26:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, his, his first album, she had a big ass poster.

• 26:13Speaker 01

  Did Jamie Foxx ever have abs?

• 26:15Stavros Halkias?

  He probably did.

• 26:17Speaker 01

  I know he was wearing a hat to the time.

• 26:18Speaker 02

  I know, no.

• 26:20Stavros Halkias?

  Wait, but he was already an actor. Like, I feel like he was a comedian, then the Jamie Foxx Show. I feel like he didn't put out music till, he was already kind of an established, because I, I loved the Jamie Foxx Show where they just kind of like, they kind of just remixed like Fresh Prince a little bit, where they gave him his own Carlton. You know what I mean? Like, it was, it was a great, I loved that show.

• 26:38Speaker 01

  Yeah. And it's on TV anytime I'm in a hotel.

• 26:41Stavros Halkias?

  It's always on.

• 26:42Speaker 02

  He's getting tons of residuals. He's gonna be forever.

• 26:45Speaker 01

  He's about to have another baby.

• 26:46Speaker 02

  What?

• 26:47Speaker 01

  He's having another baby by another white woman.

• 26:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Kind of tough.

• 26:53Speaker 02

  One of your people. One of your sisters.

• 26:57Speaker 01

  I'll be your speech cell on that button.

• 27:01Stavros Halkias?

  The pig took on a mind of its own.

• 27:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:03Speaker 01

  The pig said.

• 27:05Stavros Halkias?

  Doctor.

• 27:06Speaker 04

  I was booing for you guys, not for us.

• 27:10Speaker 02

  I thought you were booing for you.

• 27:12Speaker 01

  You were booing black women?

• 27:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:15Speaker 02

  I thought you were booing for you. I thought you were gonna be like, I would never. You know what I mean?

• 27:21Stavros Halkias?

  No, no.

• 27:21Speaker 02

  Have a baby with a white woman?

• 27:22Stavros Halkias?

  Eldis unfortunately is married to a white woman. Yeah.

• 27:28Speaker 04

  No, no, no.

• 27:34Speaker 01

  Woo, I hope she don't, I know she don't watch.

• 27:36Stavros Halkias?

  No, fuck you. Are you kidding me? Can you, I can't imagine your wife watching a second of this podcast.

• 27:42Speaker 02

  Watching this and then getting wet? No way.

• 27:45Speaker 04

  She listened to the first ever episode when they came out. I was like, what'd you think? She was like, it wasn't for me.

• 27:53Speaker 01

  Who was the first guest?

• 27:54Stavros Halkias?

  Sam Morril. It was our first episode. It was a good episode, just why would she, this is, imagine if your husband and his dumbass best friend, the stupid conversations they annoy you with when you're hanging out, if somehow they made a job out of it, how much that would annoy you? Like every bad tendency a wife wants to beat out of their husband, Eldis is paid very handsomely for. So we, you know, I get it.

• 28:19Speaker 02

  Very handsomely. Yeah, every episode we on, he always saying how much he hitting you off, Eldis, with money.

• 28:24Stavros Halkias?

  Not every episode.

• 28:25Speaker 02

  I mean, every episode I've been on, he was like, Eldis, shut up, I pay you. I'm like, alright, well.

• 28:30Stavros Halkias?

  It's never that clear, but that is my intent.

• 28:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:33Stavros Halkias?

  I've never said it like that, but that is what I mean.

• 28:35Speaker 01

  When you went to brunch today, did you use the corporate card?

• 28:38Stavros Halkias?

  No, we had to, actually ended up recording, because we got, we got David Tell in here.

• 28:41Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 28:43Speaker 04

  Yeah. Today I actually ate Stav and Ari's leftovers out of the fridge after stop watch for a break.

• 28:49Stavros Halkias?

  Hey, you ate Ari's leftovers. I had all of my bagel.

• 28:54Speaker 01

  Leftover bagel.

• 28:55Speaker 02

  Damn, are you being frugal this year? What's going on?

• 28:58Speaker 04

  No, I was just hungry and don't feel like stepping out.

• 29:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, he was more, he was in scavenger mode.

• 29:04Speaker 02

  Honestly, I feel like if we, if I was supposed to relate to anybody, it would be you. I feel like, I'm the eldest, you were the sobbing.

• 29:12Speaker 01

  That's not true. You were not my backup. You're not my assistant. You didn't even know about saying the.

• 29:19Stavros Halkias?

  This is awesome because Marie, by supporting her friend, is putting down eldest.

• 29:25Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, you're not a stupid piece of shit like that.

• 29:32Speaker 02

  Great work, friend. Great work.

• 29:36Stavros Halkias?

  That's fucking awesome.

• 29:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, I love that.

• 29:38Stavros Halkias?

  That is, that is beautiful. Um, yeah, dude, I don't know. Let me see about, I think I was a big, I was, the Spice Girls were my first sort of like.

• 29:47Speaker 01

  Who was your Spice Girl?

• 29:49Speaker 02

  Let me guess, let me guess.

• 29:50Stavros Halkias?

  Go ahead.

• 29:50Speaker 02

  Uh, Baby.

• 29:52Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 29:53Speaker 02

  Really?

• 29:54Stavros Halkias?

  Didn't care for Baby. I was a Ginger guy.

• 29:56Speaker 02

  Really?

• 29:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:58Speaker 01

  Sick is sick?

• 29:59Speaker 02

  She was hot. She was, she's still hot.

• 30:01Stavros Halkias?

  Well, you know what it was for me? I really think like, I, I think about this, I think Who Framed Roger Rabbit changed the course of my life.

• 30:09Speaker 02

  Oh, Jessica Rabbit?

• 30:11Stavros Halkias?

  I think Jessica Rabbit.

• 30:12Speaker 02

  That made everybody so horny.

• 30:14Stavros Halkias?

  Because it's a movie about a little fucking, a little guy being funny and he gets the, his wife is the hottest woman of all time. I really think that movie is basically my life. Like, I saw that, I was like, whoa, that's how you get girls like that? And then, and then I had a middle school teacher who had red hair and had huge tits, and that just kind of cemented it. And then so it went Jessica Rabbit into Ginger into my sixth grade teacher, and you know, I think that's there for me now.

• 30:40Speaker 02

  But what about now? Who's your Jessica?

• 30:43Stavros Halkias?

  There's, there's, you know.

• 30:45Speaker 02

  eldest?

• 30:45Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, no.

• 30:50Stavros Halkias?

  The hair is the problem.

• 30:53Speaker 02

  Cause he has hair?

• 30:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. If he dyed it red.

• 30:55Speaker 02

  Oh, okay, okay.

• 30:56Stavros Halkias?

  If he picked out that Afro and hit some relaxer, then maybe.

• 31:03Speaker 02

  Elders does have a four seed. I love it.

• 31:07Stavros Halkias?

  Elders Dolzall.

• 31:10Speaker 02

  He's using sacred, I see it.

• 31:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I think, I really think that's what it was. And yeah, I guess now you could say I'm searching for my Jessica Rabbit.

• 31:19Speaker 02

  You're searching?

• 31:20Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 31:21Speaker 02

  Why are you single?

• 31:23Speaker 01

  You didn't meet one on at Kellam?

• 31:24Stavros Halkias?

  I would, yeah, yeah. No, no one at fucking, at Venice was interested in me. They're like, were the actual movies? They're like, did I tell you the story where when I stepped out of the car, I was in the same car as Alicia Silverstone? And they literally thought I was a security guy? I was supposed to go, it was supposed to go Alicia, then me, and then Alicia went, and then I went to walk, and they're like, hold on, sir.

• 31:44Stavros Halkias?

  And I was like, I'm in the movie. He's like, oh, okay.

• 31:48Speaker 01

  I remember her being in the movie.

• 31:50Stavros Halkias?

  She was, she had a very small part in it. She was, she played, uh, uh, Plemons mom in Flashbacks. She was great in it, but she had a small part.

• 31:58Speaker 01

  I watched the movie. I saw you on, I was on a flight.

• 32:00Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, hell yeah, dude.

• 32:01Speaker 01

  I was in Delta.

• 32:02Stavros Halkias?

  Nice.

• 32:03Speaker 01

  I wanna say Delta one.

• 32:06Speaker 01

  It was premium select.

• 32:07Stavros Halkias?

  Nice, nice.

• 32:08Speaker 01

  And I said, look at stuff.

• 32:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, hell yeah.

• 32:10Speaker 02

  We're a crabby cop.

• 32:11Stavros Halkias?

  Thank you, thank you.

• 32:13Speaker 02

  You need that.

• 32:14Stavros Halkias?

  It was awesome. But yes, nothing, nothing going there. But, you know, whatever.

• 32:17Speaker 02

  But what do you, okay, so what are you looking for in, uh, this Jessica besides the big tits and the red hair?

• 32:23Stavros Halkias?

  I haven't really thought past those things.

• 32:26Speaker 01

  That girl, he wants her to have a nice personality. He don't even care if she can read.

• 32:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That, yeah, that, I would, I guess that's a, it's not a deal breaker if she can.

• 32:38Speaker 02

  I mean, listen, I think we're a little hard on everybody. Like, in terms of what your type is or what you want in a person. I mean, at this age, it's like, hey, scale back a little bit.

• 32:50Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, sure.

• 32:51Speaker 01

  Scale what back?

• 32:52Speaker 02

  Scale, like, everybody, oh, you want somebody taller, he's gotta be so, no, they don't need to be all those things. What about what they make you feel like?

• 33:01Stavros Halkias?

  I like that.

• 33:01Speaker 01

  Well, they make me feel good when they look good. Please, come, come to me.

• 33:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 33:07Speaker 01

  Already a little bit hot.

• 33:10Speaker 01

  Because if you're ugly and or chopped and you mean to me.

• 33:14Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 33:14Speaker 01

  And or you can't make me come, why did you come?

• 33:16Stavros Halkias?

  Well, you can't, it's kind of one of those like pics, you can't be chop, you can't be like mean chopped and not make people bust.

• 33:23Speaker 02

  But those are the ones that are doing it though. There are, there are all of those things and they're like, they deserve, you know, a Beyonce or Gisele.

• 33:29Speaker 01

  So Cindy, what side of the thing is you on now?

• 33:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 33:31Speaker 01

  Do you want them to be?

• 33:33Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 33:34Speaker 02

  Okay, let's see. Now, when I was thinking about who I wanted.

• 33:39Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 33:39Speaker 02

  Um, I, at first, like.

• 33:41Stavros Halkias?

  Did you make like a, a list of what you wanted a partner?

• 33:44Speaker 01

  A Ciara's prayer?

• 33:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, I did, and.

• 33:47Stavros Halkias?

  Was that how she got Russell Wilson?

• 33:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, she prayed.

• 33:49Speaker 02

  She did. She really prayed. She's a really good Christian.

• 33:51Speaker 01

  And now people are online like, Ciara, send us the prayer. And it's like, well, she's rich and hot.

• 33:57Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 33:58Speaker 01

  So pray to be that first.

• 33:59Stavros Halkias?

  Totally, totally.

• 34:00Speaker 02

  They're like, in order for the prayer where you gotta actually be somebody else's prayer as well.

• 34:04Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely. You haven't qualified for this level of prayer yet. You're too busted for this level of prayer.

• 34:09Speaker 01

  How much you been tizing?

• 34:12Speaker 01

  Because maybe she put in a lot. So God put her in front of the line.

• 34:16Stavros Halkias?

  That is true.

• 34:17Speaker 02

  I feel like she did tie the lot to get Russell. Um, but for me, like when I think about who I wanted, like physically, I don't, I don't think my, my first, my girlfriend right now was the first thing that popped up. But she's all the other qualities.

• 34:32Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 34:32Speaker 02

  But she obviously is attractive and like, I'm very hot, but that's not what I want. Like, I was like, oh, maybe somebody a lot darker than her and hair was different and, you know, you know, different feet, but like.

• 34:45Stavros Halkias?

  Different feet?

• 34:46Speaker 01

  Different feet.

• 34:47Speaker 02

  You know?

• 34:47Stavros Halkias?

  What's your girl got going on?

• 34:48Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no.

• 34:49Speaker 01

  Her toes look like this?

• 34:50Speaker 02

  No, no, no. I'm the one with the fucked up toes in a relationship, but.

• 34:55Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, I see.

• 34:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:56Stavros Halkias?

  They call me one of us.

• 34:58Speaker 02

  Definitely.

• 34:58Speaker 01

  One good foot.

• 35:01Speaker 01

  So what I'm hearing is I gotta find somebody with gnarly ass toes.

• 35:05Speaker 02

  Honestly, she loves my fucked up toes. Like she kisses them and rubs them and but she'll she'll tell me like how bad they are while she's touching them, you know? Like that's-

• 35:13Stavros Halkias?

  She's keeping you grounded.

• 35:14Speaker 02

  Yes, yeah. But maybe somebody else's prayer was like, oh, they gotta look hot, they gotta have amazing toes, but then they would be missing out on somebody like me.

• 35:22Stavros Halkias?

  Sure.

• 35:23Speaker 02

  You know?

• 35:23Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 35:24Speaker 02

  So that's why it's like, you gotta-

• 35:26Stavros Halkias?

  Who the fuck puts toes at the top of their list?

• 35:28Speaker 01

  Or somebody with a foot fetish.

• 35:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's true. Somebody you don't want in your life.

• 35:32Speaker 01

  Yo, the first time I met somebody who had a foot fetish, I was in college and we were in my friend's dorm, like a bunch of us hanging out. And this guy was sitting across from me and the way he was looking at my feet, I was like, this is how Dahmer looked at them little boys. I had on flip flops, I was trying to tuck my toes and he was like leaning in and he was like, aw, man. And I was like, I just sit on my feet. I was like, I need to leave.

• 35:57Speaker 02

  Well, I'm a feet person and Marie has really good feet.

• 36:00Stavros Halkias?

  Mmm.

• 36:00Speaker 01

  They're, I gotta, I gotta tuck them toes on there.

• 36:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, you gotta, you have nice nail beds, the bottom of your feet are white, you know what I mean?

• 36:08Speaker 01

  Yes, the bottom of my feet are in fact white.

• 36:10Speaker 02

  They are white, they are very-

• 36:11Stavros Halkias?

  You're doing colorism for foot pads?

• 36:13Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no, no, no, no, Stavi, you got too fucking comfortable now.

• 36:19Speaker 01

  The bottom of my feet are green on.

• 36:21Stavros Halkias?

  I'm just asking.

• 36:23Stavros Halkias?

  The bottom of Marie's feet will make you some good gumbo.

• 36:27Speaker 01

  Let me cheer up my boys.

• 36:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, but the bottom of her feet are so white, it's like they paid their taxes on something.

• 36:35Speaker 01

  And yet, they know, I'm going to jail.

• 36:39Speaker 02

  Going to jail.

• 36:40Speaker 01

  But my feet-

• 36:42Stavros Halkias?

  You're gonna wake up in a fucking, in a hospital bed next to Sydney, she's gonna have your feet?

• 36:46Speaker 02

  No.

• 36:47Stavros Halkias?

  She's gonna do a foot transplant?

• 36:48Speaker 02

  No.

• 36:50Speaker 01

  The doctor's gonna be, what's the dude, the dude from Kill Bill?

• 36:53Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 36:54Speaker 01

  And you know?

• 37:00Speaker 02

  Marie, don't think that of me, but I, you know, it is one of those things where I look at women and I'm like, do I want them or do I want to be them? Or do I want to be a part of them? Like, I don't know, but when I see your feet, it's not like a sexual thing, but it's definitely like, damn, I wish my feet looked like yours.

• 37:17Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right.

• 37:17Speaker 02

  For sure.

• 37:18Speaker 01

  I've never had foot envy before.

• 37:20Speaker 02

  Well, if I show you my feet.

• 37:22Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 37:22Speaker 02

  You want me to show you my feet?

• 37:24Speaker 01

  No!

• 37:25Stavros Halkias?

  On the Patreon. We gotta put that behind a paywall.

• 37:30Speaker 02

  I was gonna say, I was like, hey, man, do you want it or no?

• 37:33Stavros Halkias?

  I do, but for your sake, no.

• 37:35Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 37:35Stavros Halkias?

  I think it would make a great clip, but I don't want these animals having access to your feet.

• 37:39Speaker 02

  Oh, but maybe.

• 37:40Stavros Halkias?

  I'm trying to be a good friend.

• 37:41Speaker 02

  Maybe I want them to, maybe they'll send me something.

• 37:43Stavros Halkias?

  Listen, listen.

• 37:44Speaker 01

  They gonna send you a doctor, babe.

• 37:46Stavros Halkias?

  They're gonna say, yeah, me.

• 37:47Speaker 01

  A foot doctor.

• 37:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, some, yeah.

• 37:49Speaker 02

  A podiatrist, Marie, that's what it's called.

• 37:52Speaker 01

  Bunyan removal.

• 37:54Stavros Halkias?

  A link, yeah, a link for a good bunyan guy.

• 37:57Speaker 02

  Well, now I want to show my feet! Well, now I want to clear my name, they're not that bad.

• 38:04Speaker 01

  Girl, you posted them on close friends and your close friends said, "Hey, take me out to close friends."

• 38:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, they did. They really did. They said, "No, no, bitch."

• 38:13Speaker 01

  You've gone too far, man.

• 38:15Speaker 02

  They said, "If you want to be this close, we're not that close." We'd rather see an areola than a toad.

• 38:20Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, without question.

• 38:22Speaker 01

  You should be posting your nudes in close friends.

• 38:24Stavros Halkias?

  A hundred percent.

• 38:24Speaker 02

  Really?

• 38:25Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 38:25Speaker 02

  I don't, but the thing about close friends is that you can't trust them. They're close, but they're not trustworthy close.

• 38:30Speaker 01

  Sydney, you got too many people in your close friends.

• 38:32Speaker 02

  I got about a hundred now, like, you know what I'm saying? Because some of the people, you gotta, in order to make them feel closer to you, you gotta put them in the close friends. You gotta, you gotta send them.

• 38:42Stavros Halkias?

  You're weaponizing close friends.

• 38:43Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 38:44Speaker 01

  I'm about to take everybody out of my close friends and just put Rihanna in my close friends.

• 38:47Speaker 02

  You should do that. And you, and, and I've told you this.

• 38:50Stavros Halkias?

  Post feet.

• 38:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, and I've told you this, once you put somebody in your close friend, they can't get out of their close friends unless they unfriend you.

• 38:57Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, interesting.

• 38:59Speaker 02

  So if you do that, she'll be in it and she won't even know that you're just having a.

• 39:03Speaker 01

  She gonna leave.

• 39:04Speaker 02

  No.

• 39:05Speaker 01

  We gonna leave her out.

• 39:06Speaker 02

  Your close friends are, you keep it very cute in your close friends. You're not doing too much.

• 39:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. You got close friends?

• 39:11Stavros Halkias?

  I don't. I should.

• 39:13Speaker 01

  You just put all your business right here on the pod.

• 39:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, pretty much, yeah, yeah. I think I will, I just will, just because, yeah. Now, I don't really use Instagram at all, because it's become unusable. But if I have close friends, then I can at least, you know, keep tabs with the people I actually want to interact with. My actual friends.

• 39:29Speaker 02

  Somebody else is using your Instagram?

• 39:31Stavros Halkias?

  No, I mean, I use it. I just don't check it that much. Like, it's not a good way for me to like, I mean, yeah, people, like, we have people who post clips and stuff.

• 39:38Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 39:38Stavros Halkias?

  I'm the only one who, like, looks at my messages, but I really don't check them that much anymore, because there's just, you know. It gets to a point where it's unusable if you have, if it's just like too many people.

• 39:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:47Stavros Halkias?

  So.

• 39:47Speaker 02

  Wow, what a fucking flex.

• 39:49Speaker 01

  He's saying he's too famous for you.

• 39:49Stavros Halkias?

  No, it's you guys too. It's fucking like, anytime you, anytime you have like, any, if you're popping at all, it's like, if you have like over 10,000, it's fucking hard to even keep track with that shit. I think.

• 40:00Speaker 01

  I check all my messages. I don't respond to none of them.

• 40:03Speaker 02

  I keep refreshing.

• 40:05Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:06Speaker 01

  I'll circle back.

• 40:08Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 40:09Speaker 01

  I'll screenshot and be like, I'm gonna respond.

• 40:12Stavros Halkias?

  That's so much more work than just responding.

• 40:14Speaker 01

  I know.

• 40:15Stavros Halkias?

  Immediately, but it's alright.

• 40:16Speaker 01

  Responding feels like, now I gotta have a dialogue with this person.

• 40:19Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 40:20Speaker 02

  But you should do that, because actually, good news, guys. I went to a sober convention this weekend.

• 40:26Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, shit. Hell, yeah. Respect.

• 40:29Speaker 02

  You said that wasn't good?

• 40:30Speaker 01

  I said that doesn't sound like good news.

• 40:32Stavros Halkias?

  That's good.

• 40:32Speaker 01

  To start the conversation, but yes, my friend is sober. You went to a sober convention.

• 40:37Stavros Halkias?

  I think it's good news, Sydney.

• 40:39Speaker 02

  It is good, thank you.

• 40:39Speaker 01

  And it was like water on the rocks.

• 40:41Stavros Halkias?

  Come on, we can't get her drinking again.

• 40:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:43Stavros Halkias?

  Support her, please, remember? Remember what happens when she relapses? She starts dating guys.

• 40:48Speaker 02

  I was sober when I did that. Don't fucking do that. Don't blame it on drugs and alcohol. That was my bad decision.

• 40:56Speaker 01

  Dating a man sober.

• 40:58Speaker 02

  Okay? My heart was hurting, and so was my pockets. I also was poor, Marie. You know what the deal was.

• 41:05Speaker 01

  All the more reason to date a man.

• 41:06Speaker 02

  Anyways, sober convention, I'm doing like 45 minutes, and after the show, this guy was like, oh, and he had came to another show that I had recently. He's like,

• 41:17Speaker 01

  Stalker.

• 41:17Speaker 02

  No, fan, okay?

• 41:20Stavros Halkias?

  Good guy.

• 41:20Speaker 02

  He said, "You actually are the reason why I started my sobriety journey."

• 41:25Stavros Halkias?

  That's huge.

• 41:26Speaker 02

  And he messaged me, he showed me all the messages we had, and I even told him, I was like, "Oh, yeah, keep doing it." You know, "I just went through a relapse, you know, it set me back about for like two years, but I'm back in it." And I had been writing to him, and I, I completely forgot. I didn't even know what I was writing, but it was all positivity.

• 41:47Speaker 02

  And he showed me up until like now.

• 41:51Stavros Halkias?

  Whoa.

• 41:51Speaker 02

  And I was like, look at me.

• 41:53Stavros Halkias?

  That's big. Yeah, that's awesome.

• 41:54Speaker 02

  Sometimes you don't.

• 41:55Stavros Halkias?

  You don't know. Yeah.

• 41:56Speaker 02

  You don't know who you're affecting and who you're making their day brighter and better. So sometimes you gotta.

• 42:01Speaker 01

  By responding to the messages?

• 42:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:04Stavros Halkias?

  This guy just wanted to, this guy just wanted to smash and, and just by.

• 42:08Speaker 02

  He was gay.

• 42:08Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, okay.

• 42:09Speaker 02

  He was homosexual.

• 42:10Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 42:11Speaker 02

  He was homosexual.

• 42:11Stavros Halkias?

  That's beautiful.

• 42:12Speaker 01

  Well, I think you should have, you should have led with that.

• 42:14Speaker 02

  I should have led with that. Okay.

• 42:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, a guy came up to me at the.

• 42:16Stavros Halkias?

  That's way more impressive to get a gay guy to stop, you know, a party gay guy to stop doing drugs. That's huge.

• 42:21Speaker 02

  Is that what it is?

• 42:22Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. That's big. Yeah.

• 42:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, they really, they really do.

• 42:25Stavros Halkias?

  Cause straight guys, it's like you get three DUIs. You're like, all right, time to stop drinking. But gay guys could do cocaine forever if they wanted to.

• 42:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, but.

• 42:32Speaker 01

  Keeps them young.

• 42:35Speaker 02

  Sober convention feels like people who are working on themselves, straight men don't do that. So it's mainly gay men at these conventions.

• 42:42Stavros Halkias?

  Like I said, we just got, we just have to hit an extreme rock bottom. Like, like for example, I, I weighed 350 pounds at five seven. I was like, all right, time to clean this up. Time to stop, you know?

• 42:54Speaker 01

  Now, was it really 350 or was it a little bit more?

• 42:56Stavros Halkias?

  It was probably a little bit more because that was the first one I weighed myself. So, so it was probably like at least 360 at times. And I would, that's a tough, I was basically spherical. You could base, you could basically roll me places at that point.

• 43:10Speaker 01

  He was in your Humpty Dumpty.

• 43:14Stavros Halkias?

  That's right.

• 43:15Speaker 02

  You were in your shallow hell.

• 43:16Stavros Halkias?

  I wa, yeah, yeah, I was.

• 43:18Speaker 01

  That's wild. But you know what?

• 43:19Stavros Halkias?

  I was like if both characters of Shallow Hell were one person. I was like.

• 43:23Speaker 01

  Being big has never stopped you from making any money.

• 43:25Stavros Halkias?

  That is true.

• 43:26Speaker 02

  So it's like, why would you stop? Elders, did you ever say anything to him? Were you like, damn, man?

• 43:31Stavros Halkias?

  No, I was getting pretty fat myself. The thing is me and Elders are very codependent. So we had other friends telling both of us.

• 43:41Speaker 02

  You die, we die together.

• 43:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, for sure. Me and Eldis are going down the same, exactly. No, no, he's got a much better. Look, Eldis couldn't handle this. The Lord gave his harder battles to me because he knew Eldis would crumble if he was 5'7", 350.

• 43:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, I've been pushing the limits of my, of what I get away with with my height in the last few years.

• 44:01Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's true, but after, after you got married, you know what I mean? You found, you were tall, you got a girl. By being tall, you had nothing else really to offer. You know what I mean?

• 44:11Speaker 01

  He had his job with full benefit. And he said, "This dick."

• 44:15Stavros Halkias?

  There's no benefit.

• 44:16Speaker 01

  There's no benefit?

• 44:17Stavros Halkias?

  Let's be very clear.

• 44:18Speaker 01

  You don't have dental?

• 44:19Stavros Halkias?

  Eldis is technically an independent contractor.

• 44:21Speaker 04

  I'm a small business owner. Tom is my client.

• 44:24Stavros Halkias?

  That's right. That's right, buddy. Exactly. I'm your client. Huh?

• 44:28Speaker 01

  You incorporated?

• 44:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, he got a little something, though.

• 44:31Stavros Halkias?

  We got a lot of tax shelters going on. Eldis, Eldis has Sula Enterprises out of, out of Barbados.

• 44:39Stavros Halkias?

  He fly, he takes, he takes a Spirit flight twice a month and puts bags of money in Barbados.

• 44:45Speaker 01

  Offshore count. I love that. Spirit, rest in peace, man.

• 44:49Stavros Halkias?

  That's true. Ooh, did we, do anybody take a memorable Spirit flight?

• 44:53Speaker 01

  I've never flown Spirit.

• 44:54Stavros Halkias?

  No, me neither.

• 44:55Speaker 01

  You don't do that.

• 44:56Stavros Halkias?

  No, Eldis?

• 44:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, I've done a couple Spirit flights in my days.

• 45:00Stavros Halkias?

  You're the only Spirit guy. Yeah, how did, yeah, utilize them, man.

• 45:03Speaker 04

  I don't, I don't remember. I mean, Spirit's got a very bad rap. One time they fully canceled a flight we were gonna take on like July 4th.

• 45:10Stavros Halkias?

  I remember that.

• 45:11Speaker 04

  Like the day before July 4th.

• 45:12Stavros Halkias?

  You borrowed my car, right?

• 45:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, I had to borrow your car for the weekend.

• 45:14Stavros Halkias?

  You had to borrow my car to drive to Ohio.

• 45:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:16Speaker 01

  On 4th of July?

• 45:18Speaker 04

  No, we drove to Michigan, but yeah, they like canceled the flight two hours before it was scheduled on like Friday afternoon.

• 45:24Speaker 01

  Well, to be fair, Delta be doing that too.

• 45:26Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 45:27Speaker 04

  A full cancellation is crazy.

• 45:29Stavros Halkias?

  Full, full cancellation.

• 45:30Speaker 04

  And they didn't say, "We'll get you out on something else."

• 45:32Stavros Halkias?

  No, they were just like, "Good luck."

• 45:33Speaker 04

  You have to wait till tomorrow at 6. Yeah.

• 45:36Speaker 02

  Well, wait, what happened to us when we were in LA? This was insane. They kept pushing back the flight all day. Then we finally get there, push, push, push. Then we get, they're like, "Oh, your plane is here, but we can't get on." And then the lady on the intercom, you know, no offense, but English not that well. And she's like, "You, if you live in LA, go home." Like, just go back home.

• 45:57Stavros Halkias?

  Holy shit.

• 45:58Speaker 02

  Come back tomorrow. And it's like, what?

• 46:01Speaker 01

  What if I don't live here? I've got stuff to do in New York.

• 46:05Speaker 02

  But, to, to, honestly, a lot of people left. I guess they were from LA. They left.

• 46:11Stavros Halkias?

  Jesus Christ.

• 46:12Speaker 02

  And so we were, ended up waiting for another plane and waiting, and then we finally get on.

• 46:16Speaker 01

  We get on the plane.

• 46:16Speaker 02

  We get on the fucking plane, y'all.

• 46:19Stavros Halkias?

  Uh oh.

• 46:19Speaker 02

  And we're waiting and we're like, and then we see the, the waitress-

• 46:22Speaker 01

  Hold on, we get, we get bumped up to first class.

• 46:25Speaker 02

  Delta one, babe.

• 46:26Speaker 01

  We're celebrating, we're like, ah!

• 46:28Stavros Halkias?

  Oh no, they took that from you?

• 46:30Speaker 01

  Delta one!

• 46:31Stavros Halkias?

  Oh my god.

• 46:32Speaker 02

  I should've known. I was like, both of us? Like, if you got upgraded, okay, cool, but both of us? I was like, there's no way they would-

• 46:37Stavros Halkias?

  You're like, I'm bronze medallion.

• 46:39Speaker 02

  I'm gold, bitch.

• 46:41Speaker 01

  I'm sitting in the pilot's lap, babe.

• 46:44Speaker 02

  I'm gold. Rosebud gifted me the gold medallion. Shout out to her, okay? Shout out to Rosebud Baker.

• 46:51Stavros Halkias?

  Shout out to Rosebud, for sure.

• 46:52Speaker 02

  In my top white. Top five white.

• 46:55Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 46:55Speaker 01

  I just want enough spirit had medallions.

• 46:57Speaker 02

  No, they don't. They don't. They didn't have snacks. They definitely didn't have none of that.

• 47:01Stavros Halkias?

  Aluminum status?

• 47:05Speaker 01

  Loosely status.

• 47:07Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 47:07Speaker 01

  Anyway, the screens weren't working that the flight attendants needed. And then the, the pilot comes out and he's like, "There's no food for first class. Are y'all cool with us still taking off?" And everyone on the plane was like, "Yeah."

• 47:18Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 47:19Speaker 01

  And I'm like, "Well, I ordered the lasagna."

• 47:22Speaker 01

  I pre-ordered that.

• 47:25Speaker 01

  We're on the plane for an hour.

• 47:27Speaker 02

  An hour.

• 47:28Speaker 01

  They make us get off. They said, "We'll try again tomorrow."

• 47:30Speaker 02

  Wait, but before that, the flight attendants are running back and forth. They're not telling us shit.

• 47:34Stavros Halkias?

  That's brutal.

• 47:34Speaker 02

  They're just looking like panicked and stressed and weird and it's like, "So you're not gonna tell us anything?" They're like, "Oh, we actually can't tell you what's going on until we figure it out." It's like, "Hey bitch, we need to know what's going on, because I'd rather just get off the plane."

• 47:47Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 47:47Speaker 02

  While y'all figuring it out.

• 47:48Speaker 01

  I was not getting off the plane. I said, "I'm gonna sit here."

• 47:51Stavros Halkias?

  You gotta ride that out.

• 47:51Speaker 01

  Ding, "Hey bitch, what's going on?"

• 47:55Speaker 01

  I had my slippers on, I had a blanket on my body, full recline.

• 48:00Speaker 02

  My anxiety is not gonna let me do that.

• 48:01Stavros Halkias?

  I had a, I, I was just, I just flew in from Atlanta and I was in the fucking lounge, like my, I missed my first flight, long story, it was annoying, and I'm in the lounge for a while, and the fucking sirens in the airport start going off, and it's like, "Mm, mm", "An emergency has been reported in the building, an emerg-" and I'm like, "A fucking airport emergency", I'm like, "Is fuck it-" now I'm thinking, "Is Hantavirus fucking spreading in Atlanta", "Is there a fucking shooter?", you know what I mean, like, and so I'm like, "Fuck, I'm gonna die in this fucking airport because my driver took the wrong, took like four wrong turns in a row", I almost wanted to kill myself, instead, they just said, "Nothing happened",

• 48:44Stavros Halkias?

  I never heard anything about it, I wonder what the emergency was, they, they kept it real quiet, I don't know if there was, but-

• 48:49Speaker 02

  It was a trafficking emergency.

• 48:50Stavros Halkias?

  The day before, a guy rushed through TSA, like just ran through and breached, and they like fucking tackled him, but, you know.

• 48:58Speaker 01

  Now, what's the plan here? You think you gonna get to your gate and on your flight before TSA?

• 49:04Stavros Halkias?

  And his mugshot was hilarious because he had like a, like a, like a, like a loose ass undershirt, it looked like, it looked like, do you remember that one picture of that fucking one Iraqi guy with that crazy scoop neck that they-

• 49:16Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 49:17Stavros Halkias?

  You know the one I'm talking about? You know the one I'm talking about, dude.

• 49:20Speaker 01

  It looked like this?

• 49:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it was fucking crazy, and he looked like that.

• 49:24Speaker 02

  It was his favorite one.

• 49:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 49:26Speaker 01

  He said, "This is Abercrombie, this is vintage Abercrombie", "Y'all gonna get this shirt."

• 49:32Speaker 02

  I just don't understand why people lose their mind at the airport, but then, the airport does stuff-

• 49:37Stavros Halkias?

  It is a fucked up space, yeah.

• 49:37Speaker 02

  For you to be like, "Okay, this is why I'm losing my mind",

• 49:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 49:41Speaker 02

  Because the way they kept pushing it back, it was like, and then they gave us a fucking voucher for $12, I was like, "Hey, Delta, anything in here that I wanna eat is not gonna be $12",

• 49:49Speaker 01

  Right.

• 49:50Speaker 02

  I could get a, a pack of gum-

• 49:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 49:52Speaker 02

  For $12.

• 49:53Speaker 01

  And I still have to pull money out of my pocket and use the rest of it.

• 49:57Stavros Halkias?

  Well, fuck, you know, fuck you, Delta, for that, for treating my friends that way.

• 50:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, you don't care about us.

• 50:02Stavros Halkias?

  I do, how dare you?

• 50:03Speaker 02

  I know you got, I know you got- Your own plane or whatnot.

• 50:06Stavros Halkias?

  No, no.

• 50:06Speaker 02

  You got a tour bus or something.

• 50:08Stavros Halkias?

  I got a bus, but I don't. I rent it, thank you very much.

• 50:11Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 50:11Stavros Halkias?

  I rent the bus, okay? I still take flights. I'm one of you guys still.

• 50:16Speaker 01

  Commercial flight.

• 50:16Stavros Halkias?

  I'm just like you guys, man. It hasn't changed me at all.

• 50:20Speaker 01

  You haven't posted a photo on a private jet yet?

• 50:22Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 50:23Speaker 01

  I feel like I've seen that.

• 50:24Stavros Halkias?

  No, I, I had, one, I've ridden in a private jet once. It was the Puma jet to be a part of Paris Fashion Week. That's the only time I've ridden in a.

• 50:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, I remember that.

• 50:32Stavros Halkias?

  But I'm still just a regular guy.

• 50:34Speaker 02

  Was that crazy money or like, was it worth it?

• 50:36Speaker 01

  Mateo?

• 50:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it was Mateo. It was just cool as shit. It was like, the money was okay, but it was like, you get to be, I was like, I get to be a model in Fashion Week? That's the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life.

• 50:45Speaker 02

  It was for Kid Super.

• 50:46Stavros Halkias?

  It was for Kid Super. Shout out to, shout out to Colm.

• 50:48Speaker 01

  They still think you're security. They're like, eh, I get.

• 50:51Stavros Halkias?

  No, they were not, they were not happy to see me there at all, dude. It, if you think, I, I think I might, I really probably am the fattest model ever in Paris Fashion, because I, that was in the 350. That was in the rotund, the extra rotund days.

• 51:05Speaker 01

  Kid Super has a lot of bold prints.

• 51:07Stavros Halkias?

  He was so mad at me, dude. He was like, he was like, you're so, you're fucking, he was like, nothing I make fit. He was like, you asked me. I was like, why, why'd you fly me to Paris to body shame me, you fucking piece of shit?

• 51:17Speaker 02

  He just saw the, your numbers? He was like, yeah, get him in here.

• 51:19Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and then he fucking, he literally, I've said this before, the way I, I, he made a tracksuit out of a medium and a large. He fucking sewed, he sewed two jackets together.

• 51:29Speaker 01

  He's Frankenstein to jacket feet.

• 51:31Stavros Halkias?

  That's how bad I was, dude.

• 51:32Speaker 01

  I need to find this photo.

• 51:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, we, can we see that?

• 51:36Stavros Halkias?

  But then he didn't let me keep it, you motherfu, what's that about?

• 51:38Speaker 02

  Now, that, now that's shysty.

• 51:39Stavros Halkias?

  Who the fuck else is gonna wear that?

• 51:41Speaker 01

  Li- literally.

• 51:42Stavros Halkias?

  It's literally made for my.

• 51:44Speaker 01

  He said, this could be three smalls.

• 51:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. He's like, yeah.

• 51:46Speaker 02

  You know he untacked all that shit? He said, no, no, we gotta put it back the way it was.

• 51:50Stavros Halkias?

  We're gonna make seven baby tracksuits out of this.

• 51:52Speaker 04

  You guys see, you guys see Drusky wearing that one day?

• 51:56Speaker 01

  He's gonna wear it to host a BT race.

• 51:58Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck! Yeah, anyway, well, look, we're, you know, we have a lot of, coming off these travel experiences, we've, we've all attained a lot of wisdom here.

• 52:08Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 52:08Stavros Halkias?

  Our fans love hearing from you, so Elders, you know, without, let's start some questions, maybe in the meantime, anything we wanna plug specifically? This will come out in Ju, like, maybe late June?

• 52:17Speaker 01

  This coming out for Juneteenth?

• 52:18Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, maybe it's our Juneteenth episode.

• 52:22Speaker 01

  Don't get him in.

• 52:22Speaker 02

  Any ideas, Marine?

• 52:24Speaker 01

  This is for me and Alex for Black History Month.

• 52:26Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 52:27Stavros Halkias?

  But it ended up, oh, yeah, we did. We, yeah, yeah. I thought it was gonna air in March, and they were like, nope, we're doing, we're doing Black History Month. Which was almost, we accidentally did All Black yesterday, and then I had my, maybe my white, one of my whitest friends, a Canadian, extra white, he kinda broke it up, so.

• 52:42Speaker 02

  Terrible.

• 52:43Stavros Halkias?

  Cause he was promoting.

• 52:44Speaker 02

  I bet that was the lowest one.

• 52:45Stavros Halkias?

  No, it did really well. He's a very talented director.

• 52:47Speaker 02

  Oh, God.

• 52:49Stavros Halkias?

  Shout out to Matt Johnson, who directed Tony in theaters soon, I think.

• 52:54Speaker 01

  Shout out to Drake.

• 52:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 52:57Speaker 01

  Drake released three albums. What is that?

• 52:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I don't know.

• 53:01Speaker 02

  He had the time, you know? What else was he doing?

• 53:04Stavros Halkias?

  I know. I, I would've, I really wish he'd just come out with one album of pure bangers and didn't rehash the beef. It's like, dude, you make awes- just, just remind us why you're the man. Don't talk about this shit again. But anyway, I digress. This is not a, this is not a rap podcast.

• 53:22Speaker 02

  Yes, you're right. My favorite lyrics.

• 53:23Speaker 01

  This is not Mace's podcast.

• 53:25Stavros Halkias?

  No, which is a great podcast. Oh, my God, that rant about he's telling people to just give up?

• 53:30Speaker 01

  No.

• 53:30Stavros Halkias?

  It's so funny.

• 53:31Speaker 02

  Honestly, he's not, he's not-

• 53:33Stavros Halkias?

  He's not wrong.

• 53:33Speaker 02

  Wrong.

• 53:34Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 53:34Speaker 02

  He's not wrong because it's okay to pivot. The problem is nobody wants to pivot. Everybody's like, no, if I, you just keep going. Some things, yes, you keep going, like living, but other, like, jobs, things that you don't have to. You can't sing, but then you see Addison Rae, you know, billboard everywhere, dropping a new album.

• 53:54Speaker 01

  She's young.

• 53:55Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, she's young and she-

• 53:56Speaker 01

  You can't be like, I've been grinding since I was 12 years old.

• 54:00Stavros Halkias?

  Right, right, right.

• 54:01Speaker 01

  Hey, the rap thing not gonna happen for all of y'all.

• 54:03Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, yeah. He's like, if you're, if you're, what does he say? He's like, if you're 40, you have a record deal. He's like, it's time to give up. He was like, he, cause, yeah, it's, which is a very funny take. He's right.

• 54:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:12Stavros Halkias?

  The, the idea is like, you've only, the only people who don't make it are the people that quit. He's like, that's not, he's like, some people should quit. Anyway, look up the, look up a, go watch a better podcast than this.

• 54:22Speaker 02

  Yes, yes.

• 54:23Stavros Halkias?

  Go watch Cameron and Mace.

• 54:25Speaker 01

  After this. Go support another black podcast for Juneteenth.

• 54:28Stavros Halkias?

  For Juneteenth, yes.

• 54:30Speaker 02

  Um, do you, you have something to promote? Yes?

• 54:32Speaker 01

  No.

• 54:33Speaker 02

  No? Okay.

• 54:34Stavros Halkias?

  What about you?

• 54:35Speaker 02

  I will be in Edinburgh.

• 54:37Stavros Halkias?

  Oh.

• 54:37Speaker 02

  I'll be in Scotland.

• 54:39Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck yes.

• 54:39Speaker 02

  With my show. My Black Barbie Story.

• 54:42Stavros Halkias?

  I love it.

• 54:42Speaker 02

  It would, obviously, Bottle Girl hits, Crazy Childhood Stories, all reenacted by Barbies.

• 54:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yes.

• 54:48Speaker 02

  For an hour. I could do this hour. It's been over an hour. I'm not gonna do it. By the time I get there, it will be an hour. Come see me. Get the tickets.

• 54:56Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah.

• 54:56Speaker 02

  You know, it won't be that many black people there.

• 54:58Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 54:58Speaker 02

  So you might as well come to mine.

• 54:59Stavros Halkias?

  No, we're gonna need the Irish to show up to Scotland.

• 55:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, show up. Yeah. For another black queen.

• 55:03Stavros Halkias?

  The most, the most repressed white, the most oppressed white people, we're gonna need you guys.

• 55:07Speaker 02

  We're gonna need you. We need you to activate your fama. Tell them, tell them, sis.

• 55:13Stavros Halkias?

  That's right.

• 55:13Speaker 02

  You know what? Let me message her.

• 55:14Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, get a story repost.

• 55:19Speaker 02

  Let me see what she say.

• 55:22Stavros Halkias?

  Play us a little fucking, couple of questions here, LD.

• 55:24Speaker 03

  Every family has one. The person who says, "Oh, I don't want anything this year." Cool. Super helpful. Here's the fix. Coop Sleep Goods. It's the rare gift that gets used every single night instead of shoved in a closet by January. Coop's Holiday Gift Guide is now 25% off. Packed with best-selling adjustable pillows, cooling sheets, and toppers. And while you're there, grab one for yourself. I mean, you've been powering through this whole year on fumes. You've earned it. Every order comes with a 100-night trial, so there's no guesswork. Give yourself a damn break. Get 25% off the Holiday Gift Guide for a limited time at coopssleepgoods.com/comedy. That's C-O-O-P, sleepgoods.com/comedy.

• 56:10Speaker 05

  Dana, listen.

• 56:11Speaker 06

  What?

• 56:11Speaker 05

  I wanna talk to you about something. Every Thursday, you do know that we're hanging out with some of the biggest names in comedy and entertainment, right?

• 56:17Speaker 06

  Are you kidding me? Who's been on this show?

• 56:20Speaker 05

  We have great people, a lot of fun. And Mondays, it's you and I to ourselves. We riff on life, pop culture, clips online, every stupid thing. So, everybody out there, join us Mondays, Thursdays, fly on the wall, wherever you get your podcasts. It's a lot of fun, it's a lot of laughs, and it's a lot of stupidity.

• 56:40Speaker 07

  Hey Stav, I actually just lost the voicemail, but I realized it was really, really confusing. Okay, so here's the situation. I was adopted when I was a kid, did a 23andMe, found my biological family, because I was looking for my dad's side. Always knew my biological mom's side. So, I do the 23andMe, find all my family, reconnect with them. I meet my biological grandfather on my mom's side. We're all close, everything's going great. And then I found out the 23andMe got updated, and a man popped up that is supposedly my biological grandfather on my mom's side. But that's not my grandfather, like, that's not her father that she knows of.

• 57:23Speaker 07

  So I did a lot of digging, I went through all these old news articles, I went through divorce records and things. Long story short, my biological mother's mother had a whole second family, well, a second and possibly third family, out in Texas and California. And so, the grandfather that popped up on the 23andMe is most likely her actual biological grandfather, or her biological father, and she doesn't know that. You can kind of tell, like, they don't look alike, she looks a lot like her mom. But yeah, it's a whole weird situation, and since I was, you know, adopted at first and given up from the family, I don't know if it's my place to go, "Hey, that's not your dad, like, this actual man is." Because I don't want her to go through the same thing I would do, but like, at the same time,

• 58:08Speaker 07

  she should know that that's not her actual father, right? Like, yeah, so I don't know what to do. I'm like freaking out, man.

• 58:14Stavros Halkias?

  23andMe is ruined. I mean, this is crazy. It's like, not only is the government now just has your DNA, they're gonna sell that shit to Palantir at some point. Not only is that a problem, but it's like, how much just old-fashioned cheating did it ruin?

• 58:28Speaker 01

  The mom had a second family?

• 58:30Stavros Halkias?

  I respect that, by the way.

• 58:31Speaker 02

  I'm happy for the mom.

• 58:32Stavros Halkias?

  Shout out to the mom. That is hard to do. I guess she just wore very loose clothing for all six months?

• 58:38Speaker 01

  That's who dinner she gotta cook?

• 58:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 58:42Speaker 02

  No, she was being a deadbeat mom, and I promote that. I promote that. So, good for her.

• 58:47Speaker 01

  I'm also not mad at that.

• 58:48Stavros Halkias?

  Breaking the glass. We do love when we hear about female dirtbags on this podcast. It promotes equality.

• 58:53Speaker 01

  Women in male-dominated industries.

• 58:55Stavros Halkias?

  And women don't stem.

• 58:56Speaker 01

  Pop off, you trashy bitch.

• 59:01Speaker 02

  But also it's like, why are y'all so fucking nosey? Like for the wrong things. It's like, what, does it matter?

• 59:08Stavros Halkias?

  I know what you mean.

• 59:09Speaker 02

  Like, imagine if, me, right now, at this age, being like, you know what? I just wanna know who my dad is. I would never.

• 59:17Stavros Halkias?

  Right.

• 59:18Speaker 02

  I would, cuz.

• 59:18Speaker 01

  You know, I could text Maury.

• 59:20Speaker 02

  No.

• 59:22Stavros Halkias?

  Holy fuck. I would love to do a "You are not the father" with you. I would love to try and find your. I mean, if you don't want to, I'm just saying, in a world where you wanted it, you gotta admit, that would be. I get to be Maury.

• 59:34Speaker 01

  That would do numbers.

• 59:35Stavros Halkias?

  That would really do numbers. And of course, this is not, you know, not, you, you're, you're literally saying like, you're being very vulnerable and saying, I don't, I don't wanna. You're sharing something. And we're like, wait, what about the retweets?

• 59:47Speaker 02

  Well, I would do it for the content. I would do it for the content. But for me, personally, what, what would me finding my father now do for me? I'm already like phased out of caring. You know what I'm saying? I'm not the age where it's like.

• 1:00:01Speaker 01

  But what if you had a rich dad all this time? You would get your trust.

• 1:00:05Speaker 02

  He would not give me that money. He would find a way. He'd get me murdered. He's like, I'm not giving her this money. Yeah. I would get murdered.

• 1:00:11Stavros Halkias?

  Jesus Christ.

• 1:00:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:12Stavros Halkias?

  That's hilarious. That's the first thing you're thinking of?

• 1:00:14Speaker 02

  Yes, because when men don't wanna give up their money, they murder. And when they don't have any money, they still murder. Like, in either way, they're gonna find a way to murder, so no, I don't wanna deal with that, but.

• 1:00:25Stavros Halkias?

  Sure. But I understand what you mean, where it's like, look, when you're an adult, when you're a fully formed adult, like, it's, even if somebody who like, cuz this situation is not even that, right? Like, yours is, like, this person knows who her father was.

• 1:00:39Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:00:39Stavros Halkias?

  Had her mom, so she's talking about her mom, right?

• 1:00:42Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:00:43Stavros Halkias?

  Her mom knows who her fa, like, she grew up her entire life, this guy's my dad.

• 1:00:47Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:00:49Stavros Halkias?

  If, if it's, if, like, you're not gonna, you're not gonna, exactly, she's not gonna have a relationship with this fucking guy who's about to die in fucking Arizona or wherever the fuck. So I do see it from that, where it's like, uh, you know, what, like, what's the point of, of stirring shit up right now? Cuz if I was in those, like, if I found out a different guy was my dad. I would not give a fuck at all.

• 1:01:12Speaker 01

  He wouldn't care.

• 1:01:12Stavros Halkias?

  I would, I would not like for even, and I don't have a good relationship. I mean, me and my father have like, have had a rocky relationship in the past. But even, he is my dad.

• 1:01:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:21Stavros Halkias?

  Good or bad, that's my dad. That's the guy who raised me. That's who I think of as my father. That's who I still love, like.

• 1:01:27Speaker 01

  That should be your, your show. That's my dad.

• 1:01:29Stavros Halkias?

  That's my dad.

• 1:01:30Speaker 01

  A half hour comedy.

• 1:01:31Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:01:32Speaker 01

  Of you being, finding out that your dad is not your dad. But he's like, that is my dad.

• 1:01:37Stavros Halkias?

  And then it's like three men and a baby, but it's like, it's like, it's basically like a mo, like a, a scumbag Mamma Mia.

• 1:01:43Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 1:01:43Stavros Halkias?

  Where it's like, who are these like, there's like a shitty, there's like a low level drug dealer, a pawn shop owner, a diner owner.

• 1:01:51Speaker 01

  A guy on a recliner the whole movie.

• 1:01:56Stavros Halkias?

  We should do white trash Mamma Mia. That's a good idea.

• 1:01:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:59Stavros Halkias?

  You do it.

• 1:01:59Speaker 01

  Will there be singing?

• 1:02:00Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, maybe.

• 1:02:01Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:02:02Stavros Halkias?

  And maybe, maybe blowing into a jug.

• 1:02:05Speaker 01

  Or playing the glasses.

• 1:02:06Stavros Halkias?

  That's cool. The theremin.

• 1:02:07Speaker 01

  They know my glasses.

• 1:02:08Stavros Halkias?

  The theremin, hell yeah, dude.

• 1:02:09Speaker 01

  I feel like if your mom gave you up for adoption, you should tell her that she was adopted too. Hey.

• 1:02:14Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:02:15Speaker 01

  You didn't want me, they didn't want you neither.

• 1:02:18Speaker 01

  Oh, if you were being petty, yeah. Sure.

• 1:02:21Stavros Halkias?

  That would be, yes, if you're like, that's the thing. You don't fucking know this lady.

• 1:02:25Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:02:26Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean? It's like, if you wanted, did she say if she wants a relationship? She said no, right, Eldis?

• 1:02:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, she didn't really say.

• 1:02:32Stavros Halkias?

  This is, she's, she's basically saying like, look, my biological mom, who I have no real connection to, I found out that her dad through da- By the way, this, this girl sounds like a real fucking sleuth, by the way.

• 1:02:42Speaker 01

  She is, I was about to say, she's meddling.

• 1:02:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:45Speaker 01

  She's legit a little detective.

• 1:02:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:47Speaker 01

  And now she's like, she should know, right? She, by the time she said this, she probably already told her mom. She did it, yeah.

• 1:02:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I just think if, yeah, I think because, especially, like, I'm trying to think, if this happened to my mom, who's, who I, my biological mom, who I grew up with, it's a little different, cause it's like, I have a real relationship with her.

• 1:03:06Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:03:07Stavros Halkias?

  I, I just wonder, it's, cause it's her decision. I mean, I guess it depends like, how old is this person and how old is the other person? Right? If it's someone at the end of their life, they're pretty, yeah. I don't know that I would even tell my.

• 1:03:19Speaker 02

  They're over thirty, they're old.

• 1:03:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:21Speaker 04

  I feel like she like set off to learn something about herself. And now she's just like, it's like going from this self-discovery thing to like, she's learning like family intrigue and like drama.

• 1:03:32Stavros Halkias?

  Of a family that's not hers, by the way. It's like, like I'm on this, this has come up a couple of times on the show. I'm firmly a believer that the people who raised you, the people you're around.

• 1:03:41Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:03:41Stavros Halkias?

  That's your family.

• 1:03:42Speaker 02

  Yeah. Pizza Hut, Pizza Hut has definitely raised me.

• 1:03:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:46Speaker 02

  Every time I went there, every Friday.

• 1:03:48Stavros Halkias?

  The only reason you know how to read.

• 1:03:49Speaker 02

  Ooh.

• 1:03:50Stavros Halkias?

  Me too, those mini pizzas, remember that shit? I read so many books that I would never have because they promised you a mini pizza if you read a book. Remember that shit? Shout out to Pizza Hut for helping our literacy, yeah.

• 1:04:02Speaker 02

  No child left behind, the reference.

• 1:04:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, they did a much better job than the George Bush administration. Pizza Hut absolutely taught more kids to read than George's Bush administration, without question.

• 1:04:13Speaker 01

  Wasn't George Bush reading a book to the kids when nine eleven happened?

• 1:04:16Stavros Halkias?

  Of course, the famous meme where some guy whispers in his ear and he's like.

• 1:04:19Speaker 01

  And he's like, hmm?

• 1:04:20Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. A second, a second, or a second terrorist hit the building is what I think they told him.

• 1:04:25Speaker 01

  I wanna know what book he was reading.

• 1:04:26Stavros Halkias?

  I think you can find that, I think, I think that's public knowledge. Um, it's, it's a book called Trust Everything the Government Tells You. Kids, if something crazy happens and you believe whatever the government says is the official explanation.

• 1:04:40Speaker 01

  It was Goosebumps and it was a Tower of Terror.

• 1:04:42Speaker 02

  Tower of Terror.

• 1:04:45Speaker 04

  Uh, fuck. He was reading a children's book titled The Pet Goat.

• 1:04:49Stavros Halkias?

  The Pet Goat, interesting.

• 1:04:50Speaker 02

  It was, it's definitely something fucking Bush would read to kids.

• 1:04:53Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:53Speaker 01

  I wonder if the sales for the book went up after the towers went down.

• 1:04:56Stavros Halkias?

  That's interesting.

• 1:04:57Speaker 02

  No, it was the same as Glitter, like it just bad, bad promo, bad timing.

• 1:05:01Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, right.

• 1:05:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:02Stavros Halkias?

  Glitter did get fucked. And which Jay-Z album came out that day?

• 1:05:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, one of the Jay-Z albums.

• 1:05:06Stavros Halkias?

  It was one, it was a, it was a, it was a huge one.

• 1:05:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:09Stavros Halkias?

  It was a reasonable doubt.

• 1:05:10Speaker 02

  But it didn't get anything.

• 1:05:11Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no. In fact, I've heard so many stories of guys in New York being like, it was really annoying, the trains were all fucked. I still had to go, and I had to go get the album. Like people, people were like, I was going to get it.

• 1:05:22Speaker 01

  I was trying to get the Tower Records.

• 1:05:22Stavros Halkias?

  Which one was it?

• 1:05:23Speaker 04

  It was the Blueprint.

• 1:05:24Stavros Halkias?

  Blueprint.

• 1:05:25Speaker 02

  Damn, it did do really well.

• 1:05:27Speaker 01

  They were listening to it in the sky.

• 1:05:29Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:30Speaker 01

  I saw the black.

• 1:05:31Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, the blueprint, that's a, the blueprint coming out of 9/11, there's something very powerful about that. About like, anyway.

• 1:05:44Speaker 01

  So you think, yes, tell the mom, or don't?

• 1:05:46Speaker 02

  No, don't do it, don't do it.

• 1:05:47Stavros Halkias?

  You know, it's like, yeah, this, you, you bit off, this is not your responsibility at all. At all.

• 1:05:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:53Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe if these people raised you, and you knew about this drama, and you understood their, whatever. But it's like, I, I just don't think, first of all, if you want to, I don't, I wouldn't blame you. If you're like, hey, we don't really know each other, I just felt like you needed to know this. I just think, what's the upside or downside for you? What is the upside here?

• 1:06:12Speaker 01

  Hey, save it till Thanksgiving and/or Christmas.

• 1:06:15Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:15Speaker 01

  When you, your mother, your biological mom have a big fight, throw it in her face.

• 1:06:19Stavros Halkias?

  But they don't know each other, right?

• 1:06:20Speaker 01

  Get your plate, to go and go.

• 1:06:22Stavros Halkias?

  She was just looking for, to find that, right, Aldous, didn't she say she was just trying to figure it out? I mean, this is her second attempt at it, and this still was a little confusing even to me.

• 1:06:29Speaker 01

  I think she, she found out, and then 23andMe was like, oops, you made a mistake.

• 1:06:34Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:35Speaker 01

  But also, how much are we believing the accuracy of 23?

• 1:06:40Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, smart. Cheaters across the world are trying to pull this right now, by the way. They're like, how can we even trust these people?

• 1:06:46Speaker 01

  Who's the blonde lady that's in jail that was like pretending she was fixing people's?

• 1:06:49Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, no, no, she, Elizabeth Holmes. Elizabeth Holmes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:52Speaker 01

  So 23andMe?

• 1:06:53Stavros Halkias?

  No, 23andMe, actually, this, this, that bitch was like, uh, oh, one drop of blood, I could tell you everything about you, ever. And people were like, mm, yeah, good, good, good.

• 1:07:01Speaker 01

  Here's a billion dollars.

• 1:07:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, exactly, damn, it's crazy how fuck, how dumb money works in this country.

• 1:07:06Speaker 02

  Really dumb.

• 1:07:07Speaker 01

  We need a better head together, come on, what a good scam.

• 1:07:09Stavros Halkias?

  You do.

• 1:07:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, but we're black, friend, that's not going to be the same to us.

• 1:07:12Stavros Halkias?

  You could, I mean.

• 1:07:12Speaker 02

  They're, they're gonna be asking all the questions.

• 1:07:14Stavros Halkias?

  That's a good point, yeah, that is a good point.

• 1:07:16Speaker 02

  They see us with this hairstyle, they're gonna be like, oh, no, no, no, no.

• 1:07:20Stavros Halkias?

  Sid, how about we get Rosebud and Mill involved? She's got some connections to the Defense Department, you know what I mean? We make it an anti-missile thing. Yeah, Rosebud's the face of your scam, you know what I mean?

• 1:07:31Speaker 02

  He definitely has the face for it, and those bangs.

• 1:07:33Speaker 01

  He has the background for it.

• 1:07:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I like, this is a great one.

• 1:07:38Speaker 01

  Or, me and Sydney go full white chicks.

• 1:07:40Stavros Halkias?

  White chicks.

• 1:07:41Speaker 02

  Let's do white chicks, Marie.

• 1:07:43Speaker 01

  We hit up Druski's makeup artist.

• 1:07:45Stavros Halkias?

  It was unbelievable, by the way. Yeah, unbelievable, yeah.

• 1:07:49Speaker 02

  Very frightening, but so good.

• 1:07:51Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, very uncanny.

• 1:07:52Speaker 02

  It doesn't matter what nationality he's trying to be, he looks ugly in every single one. Busted.

• 1:07:58Stavros Halkias?

  He's nailing it, though.

• 1:07:59Speaker 01

  We gotta get Druski on the pod.

• 1:08:01Stavros Halkias?

  I would love to, yeah. We almost did one time a couple of years ago, and just the timing didn't work. But, but yeah, Druski's, I would love to have him on, yeah. We got Druski, if you're listening, and I know you're not.

• 1:08:14Speaker 02

  You never know.

• 1:08:15Stavros Halkias?

  You're welcome to come on.

• 1:08:16Speaker 01

  Anytime.

• 1:08:17Stavros Halkias?

  I'm a huge fan, I mean, he really, and I love the tradition of like, it kind of is a, like, it's Eddie Murphy, Dave Chappelle, like, the white face is kind of a tradition in black, like, Eddie Murphy's original white Like Me sketch is so fucking funny and good. And then, and Chappelle's like, almost like gray newscaster's fucking hilarious. And Druski's crushing it in that regard, like, he's, there's, shit is so good.

• 1:08:42Speaker 02

  It's always gonna hit, you know?

• 1:08:43Speaker 01

  It was, it was in Erica Kirk's inbox.

• 1:08:45Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:08:46Speaker 01

  It was like, sis, have you seen this?

• 1:08:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that was.

• 1:08:49Speaker 01

  You know she had to turn her phone on.

• 1:08:50Stavros Halkias?

  That's a tough one, yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:52Stavros Halkias?

  That's a tough one, man.

• 1:08:53Speaker 02

  Well, you know she has Google Alerts, you know that.

• 1:08:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, probably.

• 1:08:56Speaker 02

  She is that girl.

• 1:08:57Stavros Halkias?

  Probably, yeah, yeah, yeah. Somebody on her team does, for sure.

• 1:09:00Speaker 02

  No, it's specifically her, I think she wants to hear that ding ding ding.

• 1:09:04Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:09:05Speaker 02

  She gets off to that.

• 1:09:06Stavros Halkias?

  Probably, yes, it certainly seems that, it hasn't, it hasn't been a subtle couple, you know, six months or whatever, but anyway, yeah, Druski, come on, you can be in white face, you can be in Latino face, actually, let's keep it the white face.

• 1:09:20Speaker 01

  Brown face.

• 1:09:21Stavros Halkias?

  You know, you know what, actually, a great Latino skit would be if he just got like a wig and like had Dominican hair, and he just did like, he kinda did the, he did like Godfrey's, I know black character.

• 1:09:34Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, a really gifted comedian just nails someone in like two seconds and that.

• 1:09:43Speaker 02

  That's a.

• 1:09:44Stavros Halkias?

  We all know those guys. We all know those guys.

• 1:09:46Speaker 01

  The NASCAR sketch was so good.

• 1:09:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it was very good.

• 1:09:50Speaker 01

  I mean, he literally, he literally.

• 1:09:51Stavros Halkias?

  And he also had that, I also loved the, the first one he ever did where the white face was kinda, it was experimental, was like the white rapper. Did you see that one? That one's fucking hilarious. And he really nails those guys.

• 1:10:03Speaker 01

  He might have done that makeup himself.

• 1:10:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:05Speaker 02

  He was in the, you know, the, working out the tweaks.

• 1:10:07Stavros Halkias?

  That looked more like Chappelle's like gray face makeup. But it was, it was really good. Anyway, next question, Mr. Sula. Uh oh. Holy shit. What's going on? It's time to get. You know what time it is, Marie?

• 1:10:24Stavros Halkias?

  Keep it twisted, folks. That's right.

• 1:10:28Speaker 02

  Come on, Beavis and Butthead.

• 1:10:31Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, we forgot, sorry, we don't have our twisted cats today. We're moving into the, into the studio. We'll, we'll have them soon, but now it's time for our motherfucking ass, twisted ass, fucking question of the week. Brought to you by Twisted Tea. And you know what? Let's crack a little Twisted Tea, you know?

• 1:10:46Speaker 01

  That tea big as hell.

• 1:10:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it really is.

• 1:10:51Stavros Halkias?

  God damn, this shit is honestly so good.

• 1:10:55Stavros Halkias?

  This shit tastes so good. Anyway. It's the twisted ass, fucked up ass, motherfucking ass question of the week, of course. And this summer, it's extra twisted and motherfucking ass fucked up. Cause we got the summer party pack, baby. We're talking original, half and half, rocket pop, and the new twisted lemonade. Yeah. And a really nice element that I love. Huh. That's right. The new twisted lemonade, it comes in a red color changing can and is only available in the summer party pack.

• 1:11:23Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:11:24Stavros Halkias?

  Ooh, you gotta keep it extra twisted with this new summer party pack. Play us in, Ellis. What do we got?

• 1:11:30Speaker 06

  What up, Stav, Eldis, esteemed guest, long time listener, first time caller? Here's what's going on. Uh, one of my best buddies is moving back to town after being gone for a few years. Really stoked to have him back. Um, he did mention that he's not gonna have a car when he moves back because he quit his job. That gave him a company truck. So him and his fiance are only gonna have one vehicle without thinking about it.

• 1:11:58Stavros Halkias?

  This motherfucker lives in the suburbs big time. Only one car.

• 1:12:05Speaker 06

  Without thinking about it or hesitating, I offered to let him borrow my second vehicle so he can get to work and just to drive around until he can save enough cash to buy a whip.

• 1:12:18Stavros Halkias?

  You're a good friend.

• 1:12:19Speaker 06

  Here's the problem. My buddy is a terrible fucking driver. He doesn't like getting a bunch of accidents or get a bunch of tickets, but I've ridden with him enough to know that

• 1:12:33Speaker 06

  he drives aggressively. He speeds everywhere he goes. He breaks harshly, accelerates harshly.

• 1:12:40Stavros Halkias?

  Okay. You lent him your car, dickhead.

• 1:12:43Speaker 06

  He drives. And the second vehicle is an old truck that I recently just bought off my grandpa. It's an old Ford Ranger.

• 1:12:54Stavros Halkias?

  Those are cool trucks.

• 1:12:54Speaker 06

  Super low miles, super clean, and I had plans to turn it into like a little camping rig for the summertime.

• 1:13:03Speaker 06

  I'm starting to have second thoughts about letting him borrow the truck.

• 1:13:07Stavros Halkias?

  No shit.

• 1:13:08Speaker 06

  Because I just know how hard he is on vehicles and how much wear and tear he's gonna put on this thing. I saved, you know, I worked really hard to save up the cash to buy this truck. It has sentimental value. It's my grandfather's truck.

• 1:13:23Stavros Halkias?

  Why did you give it to him?

• 1:13:24Speaker 06

  I would really hate to see something happen to it or have him just... Put a lot of wear and tear and miles on this vehicle. It stays in my garage. I drive it maybe once a week on the weekends. I'd like for it to stay nice and last me a long time. Let me know if you think I should do, should I tell him I changed my mind? Should I just bite the bullet and let him borrow the truck and hope for the best? This is one of my best friends. I would do anything for him. But I don't want him to fuck up my shit. So, let me know what I should do. Thanks.

• 1:14:01Stavros Halkias?

  Interesting. Not very, not as twisted as I'd like, Eldis. Eldis really phoning it in today.

• 1:14:09Stavros Halkias?

  I thought he was like, oh, he's moving back home, but when he was gone, I fucked his ex-girlfriend or something, you know? That would have been twisted. This, this is basically a, I regret offering my friend my shitty second beater car.

• 1:14:25Stavros Halkias?

  Which, you know, I get that. Um, I think probably people, I bet, I think some of our friends would feel this way about Eldis. I think, imagine if straight George offered you a vehicle.

• 1:14:37Speaker 04

  I've used his car before. He's lent it to me.

• 1:14:39Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but he hasn't been pumped about it.

• 1:14:41Speaker 04

  Oh, he was fine. I did call him because I thought I fucked up his bumper and scratched it up real bad. And I told him about it a couple of days after it happened. He was like, oh, it was like that already. I was like, oh, thank God.

• 1:14:55Speaker 02

  But at least you showed him that you're honest. But you're like, if I did do it, it was me.

• 1:14:59Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 1:14:59Speaker 02

  That's dope. I think he was, his heart was in the right places. Like, this is my best friend. We do that all the time. Just the other day, somebody asked me to do, like a good friend of mine asked me to do a gig and I said, yeah, of course. Didn't ask where it was, what the timing, how much it's gonna be. Then come to find out, it's gonna be like 10 hours for $200. Hey buddy, why did you think I would be available for something like this?

• 1:15:22Stavros Halkias?

  Because you said.

• 1:15:23Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:15:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:24Speaker 02

  But it was like, my friend.

• 1:15:26Stavros Halkias?

  Did you weasel your way out of it?

• 1:15:28Speaker 02

  Uh, the people kept hitting me up about like, what's my size and this stuff? And I was like, ah, can y'all make it later, later in the day? Like blah, blah, blah. And then eventually, I did, I thought I confirmed with them. And then I was like, yeah, I'll see you tomorrow. They're like, hey, we went with somebody else. That's how.

• 1:15:45Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, nice.

• 1:15:46Speaker 02

  God is good.

• 1:15:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:15:47Speaker 02

  It does good. God is good. Thank you.

• 1:15:49Stavros Halkias?

  That's nice. Like for you, like what would I do? Like, okay, like let's say I fucking was like, yeah, you can give it a click.

• 1:15:56Speaker 01

  What does this do?

• 1:15:57Stavros Halkias?

  It just locks it.

• 1:15:58Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 1:15:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Now, I'm, I've been given a, an opportunity to, to move it now. My, my arm is, I have motion.

• 1:16:05Speaker 01

  Now you can jerk off?

• 1:16:06Stavros Halkias?

  I could, well, it's my left hand. I'm still, I've luckily have been able to jerk off this whole time.

• 1:16:13Speaker 02

  You have this little exoskeleton now.

• 1:16:15Stavros Halkias?

  I do, I do. It does look, honestly, as far as Casco, it does look fucking cool.

• 1:16:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, it does.

• 1:16:19Speaker 01

  This is what it look like when you out of shirts.

• 1:16:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:21Speaker 02

  Blue Cross Blue Shield for sure.

• 1:16:23Stavros Halkias?

  That's right.

• 1:16:24Speaker 02

  It's Blue Cross Blue Shield, Blue Shield plus. It's giving plus, plus.

• 1:16:27Stavros Halkias?

  Maybe, I don't know. I just got new insurance. We'll see. I think it's good, hopefully. I'll get a fucking big ass, this cost me eight thousand dollars somehow.

• 1:16:34Speaker 02

  Eight thousand dollars?

• 1:16:35Stavros Halkias?

  I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

• 1:16:36Speaker 02

  Right, that's not, that's, it's more than that.

• 1:16:37Stavros Halkias?

  No. This fucking thing? No, it's like five hundred bucks probably.

• 1:16:41Speaker 01

  Yes. That's the poor people cast. The one that, with the plaster words.

• 1:16:47Speaker 01

  You got, you just gotta like, have an L shaped arm.

• 1:16:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I know. Um, a fi, like, okay, if it's your best frie, like, if it's your, like, if I was with Aldous, right? And I offered you, like, to let you borrow, like, my car, which I like, I would just be like, don't, like, don't fuck my shit up, dude. You know what I mean? Like, I was like, the second I see you doing some fucked up shit, I'm taking the car. Because if this is your best friend, you can talk to him that openly and honestly, where you can be like, alright dude, here, you can use it to help you get back, you know, back on your feet or whatever the fuck. But you also did fuck up in not setting the like parameters here.

• 1:17:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:22Stavros Halkias?

  Because it's like, when's this guy, fucking guy gonna get a car? It doesn't happen overnight. Like, you said it yourself. You, you saved up to buy your fucking grandfather's old truck, which, do you ever think him and grandma had a nice time in there?

• 1:17:36Speaker 01

  It's actually free. It's the car from Titanic when the hands go. It's a Ford Model T.

• 1:17:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:44Speaker 02

  Girl, you're mine. You can't remember nothing from yesterday, but you, the way you be getting.

• 1:17:51Speaker 01

  I knows the Titanic. That's your shit, girl. Every night.

• 1:17:57Stavros Halkias?

  Did you see it in theaters?

• 1:17:58Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:17:59Stavros Halkias?

  No?

• 1:17:59Speaker 01

  I was a child when that movie came out.

• 1:18:01Stavros Halkias?

  I was a child too, but my dad and his like, his contractor friend, his painter friend one time, we had like a day off from school and my, my dad's friend was like, this is a fucking good movie. You see tits in it. And my dad was like, really? And then he took, he took me and my brother and his friend to go see Titanic.

• 1:18:17Speaker 01

  Were you like in second grade?

• 1:18:19Stavros Halkias?

  When it come out, 98?

• 1:18:21Speaker 04

  Uh, something like that. I remember I saw it in theaters twice.

• 1:18:24Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:18:24Stavros Halkias?

  Wow, twice.

• 1:18:26Speaker 01

  How old are y'all?

• 1:18:27Stavros Halkias?

  We're 37.

• 1:18:28Speaker 01

  Sidney, you have to put that away. HR, we need HR in here. Sidney got her heels out.

• 1:18:37Speaker 02

  It looks like I've been doing the dance, the heel toe on my heel. It's so ashy.

• 1:18:41Speaker 04

  Sidney can't help herself. He wants those feet out.

• 1:18:43Speaker 01

  Sidney really wants stop fans, the stop hives. You really do. To see her heels.

• 1:18:49Speaker 02

  I'll take anything right now, you know what I'm saying?

• 1:18:51Speaker 01

  No, girl, you have a girlfriend. You don't need these people.

• 1:18:57Stavros Halkias?

  I was eight years old and my father took me to see it in theaters. I just did the math. It came out in 97. We were both eight. Me and elders were looking at tits in a theater at eight years old.

• 1:19:06Speaker 02

  What a good dad.

• 1:19:07Speaker 01

  But you still got the tits from, "Draw me like you draw your French girls tits."

• 1:19:09Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, those are awesome. Come on.

• 1:19:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, so those are not tits. Those are...

• 1:19:12Stavros Halkias?

  Those are big. What are you talking about?

• 1:19:14Speaker 01

  Those are breasts.

• 1:19:15Speaker 02

  That's a breast.

• 1:19:16Stavros Halkias?

  I don't know. Those are tits.

• 1:19:18Speaker 01

  Tits are mine, you know?

• 1:19:19Stavros Halkias?

  No, those are tits.

• 1:19:20Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 1:19:20Stavros Halkias?

  They're, yours are tits as well.

• 1:19:22Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 1:19:23Stavros Halkias?

  I'm not saying you're not. You don't have tits.

• 1:19:26Speaker 01

  Why, I don't know.

• 1:19:29Speaker 01

  She don't put a foot in on you, yeah.

• 1:19:32Stavros Halkias?

  Do not.

• 1:19:32Speaker 02

  I was also gonna say, you said, oh, I gotta, I could just talk to my best friend. But if you know your best friend, then you know your best friend gonna fuck up your shit. Like, that's like me saying, Marie, Marie, please be on time. She's not gonna do it.

• 1:19:43Speaker 01

  And she says it to me all the time.

• 1:19:44Speaker 02

  I do it all the time and every time she's like, hey, girl.

• 1:19:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:19:48Speaker 02

  30 minutes late. It's like, oh.

• 1:19:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and then you, but what you do is then take it on everybody else and act like Marie with all your other friends. You're, you're, you're, you're, you're Marie to everybody else. I love the idea that you're, yes, Marie is usually seven minutes later than you, but you're both a half hour late.

• 1:20:06Speaker 01

  Okay, because when I was out here today, she was also in the line with me. Talk about here is their food. At least I ate before I got to the studio. I'm late because I ate.

• 1:20:18Speaker 02

  No, I say that because first of all, he hit us up last minute.

• 1:20:22Stavros Halkias?

  That's true.

• 1:20:22Speaker 02

  Fucking yesterday. I said, oh, he playing. He don't care. He like, hey, what these, what these bitches, what these bitches want from a, from a star roast?

• 1:20:33Speaker 01

  Somebody let me know. These bitches want from a star roast.

• 1:20:37Speaker 02

  I like that.

• 1:20:40Speaker 01

  Somebody let me help this. No.

• 1:20:46Speaker 02

  I was like, we're just having a little, you know, bam bam, bam bam, you know?

• 1:20:51Speaker 01

  I was laying in my bed today, like, I guess I could do five.

• 1:20:55Stavros Halkias?

  I know, I was, we thought we were gonna get the morning off. I was fucking hungover. I was gonna do some fun shit and then we were like, everybody just kinda started being like, oh, we actually, we can do it. Like kinda last minutes. We were like, fuck, I guess we're just actually doing pods all day.

• 1:21:07Speaker 02

  You live around the corner, so I know it's not that far for you. Where do you live?

• 1:21:12Speaker 04

  I'm in Williamsburg.

• 1:21:13Speaker 02

  Oh, okay. Yeah, you're not that far. Like, you know what I mean? I live in Flatbush, so it's gonna take me some time.

• 1:21:20Stavros Halkias?

  Take me some time, yeah.

• 1:21:21Speaker 02

  That's why I was late.

• 1:21:22Stavros Halkias?

  What do you want from me? Queens was too much. I moved to Manhattan. You want me to move the block you live on?

• 1:21:27Speaker 01

  She's still be eating later. So close this up in this to my house, but later I'm gonna leave my house. Come on, I can see it from here.

• 1:21:36Speaker 01

  So I'm gonna get there at six.

• 1:21:40Speaker 02

  Hey, I think everybody just needs to lean a little bit more into lateness.

• 1:21:45Stavros Halkias?

  I kind of agree with you.

• 1:21:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:21:46Stavros Halkias?

  I do think we have, we're a little too like, I catch myself all the time being too impatient. When it's like, why the fuck, like, obviously when you have shit to do, that's one thing, but it's even that, it's like, you should give yourself a little buff. That's what I'm learning is like, don't schedule yourself to what is theoretically possible. Give yourself some time on either end, because shit fucking always happens.

• 1:22:07Speaker 01

  But you know, they say people who are always late are optimistic. We always feel like, it's not gonna take me that long to get there today.

• 1:22:13Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, that's beautiful.

• 1:22:14Speaker 01

  Or I'll be like, it's never taking me five minutes to do my makeup, but I'll be like.

• 1:22:17Stavros Halkias?

  Today's the day.

• 1:22:19Speaker 01

  Every damn.

• 1:22:19Stavros Halkias?

  I've been training for it, and this is the day.

• 1:22:22Speaker 01

  I'm not gonna hit any red lights. The train is gonna be on time.

• 1:22:25Stavros Halkias?

  I get that. Listen.

• 1:22:26Speaker 01

  These are people who are chronically late.

• 1:22:27Stavros Halkias?

  I'm busting your balls, but I often have the same problem. I think it's a, so many conveniences do have some kind of fucking ADD type shit that like makes your brain not able to. I'm bad with time, I'm bad. Anytime a plan changes, that like freaks me out for a little bit and I just have to, but I'm trying to get better with rolling with the punches.

• 1:22:43Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 1:22:44Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway, let's go back. Yeah.

• 1:22:48Stavros Halkias?

  Every time you do a podcast, it is a sparring session.

• 1:22:53Stavros Halkias?

  For this guy, for this, you know, barely twisted motherfucking ass call of the week.

• 1:23:00Speaker 01

  What's the opposite of twisted? Straight?

• 1:23:02Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Yeah, keep it straightened. I would say, how long does he wanna fucking borrow it? You know what I mean? If it's a couple of weeks, I say you bite the bullet and just do it. If this guy's just like, hey, can I borrow it in perpetuity until I can, until I can save up? Then I think you have to be like, hey, man, you know, you're like, hey, like, you can borrow the car, but whatever. Let's fucking set some parameters here. You get it for a couple of weeks just to get your shit back, but I don't know.

• 1:23:30Speaker 01

  That feel like a lot of work. Just lie to your friend.

• 1:23:33Stavros Halkias?

  Lie to him.

• 1:23:33Speaker 01

  Say, my grandfather, this is my grandfather's car. He actually don't want you driving it.

• 1:23:37Stavros Halkias?

  How about this?

• 1:23:38Speaker 01

  He don't want you touching his car.

• 1:23:40Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, right, yeah, yeah.

• 1:23:40Speaker 01

  Henry Ford gave this to him.

• 1:23:42Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:43Speaker 02

  But then it's gonna be like his grandfather died.

• 1:23:45Speaker 01

  The ghosts don't want you to drive it.

• 1:23:47Stavros Halkias?

  I was playing, I was, I was playing, I broke out the Ouija board and my grandfather made it very clear he doesn't want you driving that car. Uh, yeah, is your friend's, you know, even partially of a different race? Could you blame it on your grandfather being racist?

• 1:24:00Speaker 01

  Oh. Your grandfather a Nazi. Let's really delve into this.

• 1:24:06Stavros Halkias?

  Here actually is, here's, if you do wanna lie to him, if he, if he doesn't know anything about cars, what you can do is do, take like a spark plug out. Or like take something that's like not a big actual problem. Like now it's an old truck, so it doesn't have electrical problems, but it's like, could you like? Could you make some kind of minor, could you stage an accident?

• 1:24:28Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:24:28Stavros Halkias?

  Hey.

• 1:24:29Speaker 01

  Cut the brakes. Cut the brakes.

• 1:24:31Stavros Halkias?

  Could you, yeah, could you pretend that you had a fender bender?

• 1:24:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:24:35Stavros Halkias?

  And it needs to be in the shop?

• 1:24:36Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:24:37Stavros Halkias?

  And you're like, dude, I'm so sorry. My fucking, you know, my, I need to replace the transmission or some bullshit.

• 1:24:42Speaker 01

  He says he drives this car once a week, so you gonna say that to your boy and then he gonna catch you at the drive through of McDonald's and you gonna be like, oh.

• 1:24:50Stavros Halkias?

  Well, that's the catch, right?

• 1:24:52Speaker 01

  He fixed it.

• 1:24:52Stavros Halkias?

  You're right. What you have to do is now you have to sacrifice your use of your car. So until he buys a fucking, you know, Ford Explorer, that you have to keep that motherfucker in the garage. You have to say that, ah, it's still getting worked on.

• 1:25:05Speaker 02

  What happened with being honest? Hey, man, actually, I see how you treat stuff. I don't know how, like, I don't really see it for you. Like, I need to see you treating your things better when you drive. Oh, you ain't got no car.

• 1:25:20Speaker 01

  The friend will be like, you're so gay.

• 1:25:24Stavros Halkias?

  And he wouldn't be wrong.

• 1:25:27Stavros Halkias?

  No, but the point, like, the more larger question here is, it's not even about this. It's like, how do you, when, because we've all been there when it's like you're caught up in the moment and you make a promise that you know you're not gonna keep on the back of your head.

• 1:25:40Speaker 01

  And almost immediately after you make it, you be like, man, what did I do?

• 1:25:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so the real question is, what's the philosophy of getting out of that? How do you do it? And I think the most mature way is to just own up to it and be like, hey, man, I thought about it. It's like, this is.

• 1:25:56Speaker 01

  You drive crazy.

• 1:25:57Stavros Halkias?

  It's just like, it's like, that's, and honestly, you could throw the grandfather card in there where it's like, look, this is kind of, this isn't, I've been driving it recently. It's kind of an old beat up truck. I barely use it. I don't think, and you might not even be lying, I don't think this is the kind of truck that should be anybody's daily driver.

• 1:26:14Speaker 02

  Yes, that's good.

• 1:26:16Stavros Halkias?

  Which might actually be true. He's talking about some, an old Ford Ranger, right? Which is a cool car, but it's like, I think that, which is also true, by the way. I think an old antique car that has a lot of sentimental value to you, that's the kind of car that you only drive once a week, you could just be like, dog, I thought about it. This car can't be a day to day car. Like if you need to borrow it, if you have to go grab some from Home Depot, or you need like, you need a truck for the afternoon. You can borrow it, but like-

• 1:26:39Speaker 01

  A truck for the day, he comes back three weeks later.

• 1:26:41Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you know, that's sometimes when you need, when you need to move something, it's like, that's not unheard of, like having to borrow a truck.

• 1:26:48Speaker 04

  I think a good half lie, he said he wanted to like make it into a camping rig for the summer. That's his excuse right there. He's like, oh, I gotta keep it in the garage. I'm really trying to get this thing ready for the summer.

• 1:26:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, no, that's a good, you could, you say as it is right now, it's not ready to be a fucking daily driver. I'm gonna do, I'm gonna put some work into it and get it ready to just be my camper for the summer. I don't think it makes sense for you to borrow this, but if you need a ride, and then you offer a half ass like, hey, but anytime you need a fucking ride or whatever, you know what I mean? Something you also don't mean.

• 1:27:18Speaker 01

  And now it's the Green Book, or whatever they have in that movie was with the car.

• 1:27:23Stavros Halkias?

  The Green Book is where, where an Italian solves racism by dropping, by driving a black guy around the south.

• 1:27:31Speaker 01

  Now we're assuming his friend black.

• 1:27:33Stavros Halkias?

  No way, by the way, no chance, probably.

• 1:27:36Speaker 01

  My dad has one of these cars that he drives like once a week.

• 1:27:39Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, hell yeah.

• 1:27:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, my uncle gave him this like old, his like old Benz, like his Mercedes.

• 1:27:44Stavros Halkias?

  Fuck, yeah.

• 1:27:45Speaker 01

  And my dad would like take it out and buff it and-

• 1:27:49Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I get that though.

• 1:27:51Speaker 01

  Tire pressure and, I mean, he wouldn't even take it that far. He would drive it to church.

• 1:27:54Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, oh, hell yeah.

• 1:27:55Speaker 01

  He'd drive it to church and then like-

• 1:27:57Stavros Halkias?

  To show God he's prosperous.

• 1:28:02Speaker 02

  Just like, can't put no ties, you see what I'm doing?

• 1:28:04Speaker 01

  I'm doing well, God is good. And pass the plate and he'd be like, you can pass it to-

• 1:28:11Stavros Halkias?

  Here's a punch card, you only need one more sandwich to get a free sandwich. Throw that in there. Yeah, I think that's the thing, I-

• 1:28:18Speaker 04

  I think, I think he should fix it up for camping and then take his buddy out camping and have a delicious twisted tea summer party.

• 1:28:24Stavros Halkias?

  That's a great idea.

• 1:28:26Speaker 04

  Including this new delicious lemonade flavor.

• 1:28:28Stavros Halkias?

  That is true, there isn't, yeah, that's exactly right. Here's what you do, you fix it up as a camper, you find a nice lagoon, right? You drive it to the lagoon. You and your friend pull up with the camper.

• 1:28:38Speaker 01

  Have a full broke back mountain bike.

• 1:28:40Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you can have gay sex with him if you want to. We're not, yeah, we're not gonna, yeah. Keep it twisted, suck your boy off. To apologize for not letting him borrow your car. Drink an iced cold twisted tea.

• 1:28:56Speaker 04

  Drink responsibly and suck him off.

• 1:28:58Speaker 02

  And turn it around and be a bottom.

• 1:29:01Speaker 01

  Twisted when you go from top to bottom. Y'all both versed.

• 1:29:06Speaker 02

  Both are twisted, yeah.

• 1:29:07Stavros Halkias?

  It is June right now, which is Pride Month.

• 1:29:10Speaker 02

  Pride Month.

• 1:29:10Stavros Halkias?

  So, that is...

• 1:29:12Speaker 02

  Happy Pride, twisted tea for the gays.

• 1:29:14Speaker 01

  He got two vehicles, yeah. Drop one to be a top and drop one to be a bottom.

• 1:29:22Stavros Halkias?

  Alright, let's, yeah, we did it, folks. Whoa, holy shit.

• 1:29:28Stavros Halkias?

  Remember, folks, keep it fucking twisted.

• 1:29:35Stavros Halkias?

  Beautiful. We solved that very twisted question. Now, I can't wait to see, this one is definitely gonna be a more twisted question. Play it. Let's see what we got.

• 1:29:45Speaker 03

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• 1:30:31Speaker 05

  Dana, listen, I wanna talk to you about something. Every Thursday, you do know that we're hanging out with some of the biggest names in comedy and entertainment, right? Are you kidding me? Who's been on this show? We have great people, a lot of fun. And Mondays, it's you and I, to ourselves. We riff on life, pop culture, clips online, every stupid thing. So, everybody out there, join us Mondays, Thursdays, fly on the wall, wherever you get your podcasts. It's a lot of fun, it's a lot of laughs, and it's a lot of stupidity.

• 1:31:01Speaker 07

  Hey, Bob. Everyone. Hope you're doing well. Wanted to know if I am the asshole for telling a hinged date after a hook up?

• 1:31:17Stavros Halkias?

  That his bathroom was really gross. And that if I were to be invited over again. Oh, wow. I would want that to be clean. That's awesome. If you want, if you want repeat pussy, go buy some Clorox wipes.

• 1:31:34Speaker 01

  If there's a ring around your tub.

• 1:31:39Speaker 01

  Ain't gonna be no ring around that, man.

• 1:31:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, if there's a ring around the tub, you're not gonna experience the maneuvering inside of me right now.

• 1:31:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, but it's like if you already went to the, to his house, you saw his bathroom and you hooked up with him, you think he gonna give a fuck about coming back over?

• 1:31:56Speaker 01

  She had sex at, she had sex and then probably saw the bathroom.

• 1:31:59Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:31:59Speaker 01

  Hey, baby, you got a UTI. You gotta go to the doctor.

• 1:32:02Stavros Halkias?

  But also, yeah, yeah. Also, though, if you're, if you're, if you've gone on a date, it's gone well, you're like making out or whatever, and then you're like, let me go to the bath, you're already about to fuck. Are you really not gonna fuck because the bathroom's dirty? If the bedroom's nice, you know what I mean? If the rest of his house is clean, are you really not gonna fuck at that point?

• 1:32:20Speaker 01

  I was, remember, I went on a date with this guy, or, I mean, date is a loose word, I went to this guy's house.

• 1:32:26Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:32:26Speaker 01

  And I, we were talking, we having a good time, he cute, he tall, he had all his teeth, I was like.

• 1:32:31Speaker 01

  Is that a watch for frying? I was ready. I go to the bathroom, there was a condom wrapper in the, in the top of the trash.

• 1:32:39Stavros Halkias?

  Did he live by himself?

• 1:32:40Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:32:41Stavros Halkias?

  Ah, that's tough.

• 1:32:42Speaker 01

  I said, I gotta go. I didn't have sex with him.

• 1:32:44Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:45Speaker 01

  He didn't need to have sex with me, he just had sex with somebody else.

• 1:32:47Stavros Halkias?

  No, that's different, though. I mean.

• 1:32:48Speaker 01

  The bathroom was clean, though, is what I'm saying.

• 1:32:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You, you're saying like everyone has their deal, but I'm saying is what if the bathroom was dirty and there's no condom?

• 1:32:55Speaker 01

  I'm saying just because you're there doesn't mean you have to have sex.

• 1:32:58Stavros Halkias?

  I know that. I'm saying if.

• 1:32:59Speaker 01

  Stop!

• 1:33:00Stavros Halkias?

  No, no, no, don't you fucking try. I, my position, a woman who smiles at you owes you pussy.

• 1:33:10Stavros Halkias?

  That's not what I'm saying, Marie. I'm just saying, if I'm putting myself in her shoes, when it's like, I've been in a situation where I'm like, I'm having a good time, and like, you know, somebody does something off-putting, or like, you know. One time, I went on a date and a girl moments before, like, literally, like, like, we had started hooking up, and she said something like, quasi-Republican.

• 1:33:33Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 1:33:33Stavros Halkias?

  And I was like, I'm already hard. I'm not, I'm not.

• 1:33:38Speaker 01

  She said, "America's gonna be even greater."

• 1:33:39Stavros Halkias?

  She said, it was like some kind of weird Hillary Clinton jab, and I was like, well, I don't really like her either, but, but it was, it was very like, I'm, I'm very hardcore, like, you know, Republican-coded, whatever she was saying.

• 1:33:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, and then you were like, "I'm gonna beat the Republican out of you."

• 1:33:52Stavros Halkias?

  And I was like-

• 1:33:52Speaker 02

  No, no, I mean, like, beat that Republican pussy up. That's what I meant, that's what I meant, yeah.

• 1:33:57Stavros Halkias?

  But, but like, look, at the, I was already there, you know what I mean?

• 1:34:00Speaker 01

  But you're a guy, you're a man.

• 1:34:02Stavros Halkias?

  That's fair, that's fair.

• 1:34:03Speaker 01

  Women don't need too much to feel the ick, and once the ick happens, it's a wrap for you.

• 1:34:08Stavros Halkias?

  Sure, but I would like to-

• 1:34:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, but the ick don't stop me from doing what I'd, you know what I mean?

• 1:34:12Stavros Halkias?

  Right. If you're, if you're in the zone.

• 1:34:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:34:14Stavros Halkias?

  If you're wanting to fuck.

• 1:34:15Speaker 02

  Like, oh-

• 1:34:16Speaker 01

  It depends on how horny you are with the dick.

• 1:34:17Stavros Halkias?

  That's what I'm saying, this girl's probably was, I'm saying, in a scenario where you're juiced up, ready to go, are you gonna leave?

• 1:34:23Speaker 01

  Well, she, she said, I, she said, "Am I the asshole for telling him his bathroom is, is gross?"

• 1:34:27Stavros Halkias?

  I don't think you're an asshole for that, no.

• 1:34:29Speaker 04

  Should we hear her out? She's got a little-

• 1:34:30Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, yeah, go ahead, Elvis, go ahead, Elvis.

• 1:34:31Speaker 02

  Oh, shit.

• 1:34:33Speaker 07

  I don't know, I know it's a tough, vulnerable subject, and then the guy unmatched me after that, and I kinda went cold. Otherwise, we had a great time.

• 1:34:48Speaker 07

  Am I the asshole?

• 1:34:49Stavros Halkias?

  You're not the-

• 1:34:49Speaker 07

  So I just move on. Where do I get guys?

• 1:34:52Stavros Halkias?

  That's hilarious.

• 1:34:53Speaker 07

  Um, does everyone have a gross bathroom?

• 1:34:56Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 1:34:57Speaker 07

  I don't know.

• 1:34:58Stavros Halkias?

  Well, hold on. Not now, but, you see, our apartment 10 years ago?

• 1:35:04Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:35:05Stavros Halkias?

  I mean, I wasn't, I was, I was playing all the way games back then, though. There was no way I was bringing girls back to my fucking windowless room in the corner of the fucking living room. I maybe fucked like three girls the whole time and everyone had to leave the apartment.

• 1:35:18Speaker 02

  How gross is gross? Because I, and this guy later on, later became my boyfriend, but I, I was at this club, I'm blacked out drunk, I'm in espadrilles and a long skirt.

• 1:35:31Speaker 01

  A Jessica Simpson wig.

• 1:35:32Speaker 02

  Yes. I went to brunch and whatnot and somehow I'm at, I'm getting drunk, I'm having pickleball shots. I go back to his apartment, we hook up, I wake up in the morning, the bathroom is literally disgusting. It like came out of a, like the Candyman, the first one, the movie? It was one of those bathrooms? Then I go into his bedroom, I look up, his ceiling is fucking missing. Half of the ceiling is like in a big.

• 1:35:57Speaker 01

  Top bedroom, baby.

• 1:35:58Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's only for cars, Sydney.

• 1:36:02Speaker 02

  And then.

• 1:36:03Speaker 01

  Worst.

• 1:36:03Speaker 02

  There's a pigeon just hanging out. The worst part about it is he had sheets that were like, I think it was like a 30 thread count. 30, thin, thin, like fucking.

• 1:36:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, you can file your nails on them.

• 1:36:20Speaker 02

  Hard and thin.

• 1:36:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yo, fuck, yeah.

• 1:36:23Speaker 02

  Fucking polyester freaking sheets.

• 1:36:25Stavros Halkias?

  And this is, by the way, this is why we should all, we shouldn't laugh at sobriety conferences. This is, this is what, this is what being blacked out gets you, by the way.

• 1:36:33Speaker 01

  Right, right.

• 1:36:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:36:34Speaker 01

  No ceiling, pull up to the house and see this.

• 1:36:38Speaker 02

  Obviously, I couldn't give him a new ceiling, but I was like.

• 1:36:40Stavros Halkias?

  Of course.

• 1:36:41Speaker 02

  You gotta get new sheets.

• 1:36:42Stavros Halkias?

  Wait, this was, this was your boyfriend?

• 1:36:44Speaker 02

  I, he later on become, became my boyfriend.

• 1:36:47Speaker 01

  My boyfriend.

• 1:36:48Stavros Halkias?

  She was going bad, dude.

• 1:36:50Speaker 02

  I saw the potential, I said, the apartment could get better.

• 1:36:53Speaker 01

  You said it gets great life.

• 1:36:58Speaker 02

  The penis, the dick was not trash, you know?

• 1:37:02Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, alright.

• 1:37:02Speaker 02

  I, I said, it could get better. And then he did, ended up getting a whole new apartment.

• 1:37:08Stavros Halkias?

  Okay, that's good.

• 1:37:09Speaker 02

  So it was like.

• 1:37:09Speaker 01

  Was he squatting at this place?

• 1:37:11Speaker 02

  No, no, no.

• 1:37:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, there was an extension cord running from across the street.

• 1:37:16Speaker 02

  No, that's another guy that I was with.

• 1:37:19Stavros Halkias?

  He was like, don't use the microwave while the TV's on.

• 1:37:23Speaker 01

  He would get mad when she charged her phone.

• 1:37:26Stavros Halkias?

  Sydney, what the fuck?

• 1:37:28Speaker 02

  Everything, we just fuse blows.

• 1:37:33Speaker 02

  Cause I turned on a blow dryer, yeah.

• 1:37:35Stavros Halkias?

  Oh hilarious.

• 1:37:36Speaker 02

  That has happened.

• 1:37:37Stavros Halkias?

  But see, that's a good example though. Even though, like you said something. This guy lived up to that and you guys had a relationship. You were not wrong, our caller, our lovely caller. You're not the asshole because you said something about how this guy lived in unacceptable way. I wouldn't say you're the asshole, but I would say that obviously you're better off. This person wasn't gonna change, you know?

• 1:38:00Speaker 01

  He unmatched her. They already hooked up. She said, "We had a lovely time."

• 1:38:03Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, and he was like, and he read that, he was like, "Still hit?"

• 1:38:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:38:08Speaker 01

  But I hit though and it moved on and unmatched.

• 1:38:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, so you did take a minor L here because you let a man with a disgusting, you know, a disgusting bathroom hit and unmatched. But you know what?

• 1:38:21Speaker 02

  But maybe she hit and then found out the bathroom, because that's what happened to me.

• 1:38:25Stavros Halkias?

  That's what I'm saying. I do think that's what happened. That's what we think is going on. And even if it wasn't, right? Whatever. Honestly, I'm of the position of like, the same way we're applauding female deadbeat moms. There should be girls that are as horny as men that make bad decisions.

• 1:38:39Speaker 02

  There are girls who are as horny as men.

• 1:38:41Stavros Halkias?

  And that's what I'm saying, we shouldn't judge them. We shouldn't judge them for that. That's what I'm saying.

• 1:38:44Speaker 01

  Now girl, before you slept with him, before you saw the bathroom, did you check under his nails? Cause you are, you are, you are ill. You're not the asshole, but he probably, he probably wipes.

• 1:38:53Stavros Halkias?

  That is true.

• 1:38:54Speaker 01

  He probably wipes back to front or.

• 1:38:57Stavros Halkias?

  Rubbing shit on his own balls?

• 1:39:01Stavros Halkias?

  Not an issue for men, but yes.

• 1:39:04Speaker 01

  As I was saying, I was like, is that a thing that they do? Go to the doctor immediately. You're sick. You're ill, your vagina is sick.

• 1:39:11Stavros Halkias?

  That's probably true. I do think you should probably get checked.

• 1:39:14Speaker 02

  pH balance all the way off.

• 1:39:15Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely, yeah.

• 1:39:16Speaker 02

  Negative.

• 1:39:17Stavros Halkias?

  Various, yeah, very acidic right now, probably. Shit's tasting like a lemon, so maybe some tomato.

• 1:39:23Speaker 01

  Like a pickleback shot.

• 1:39:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, like a pickleback.

• 1:39:25Speaker 02

  I'm like, to the tongue, it's pickleback. That's my thing. I'm not mad at that.

• 1:39:33Stavros Halkias?

  Um, all right. What else we got, LD?

• 1:39:37Speaker 06

  Hey, it's Dobby. Shout out to you. Shout outs to the guest. So I've been a tattoo artist for 28 years professionally. I didn't order some crap off Amazon. I found myself a pro. I started back when apprenticeships made you probably got hit if you didn't do what you're supposed to do. Here's the thing. Uh, tattooing has always been like a safe haven for counterculture people and things like that. Well, lately, I've been working in a shop now for about four years. And two of the tattoo artists there out of the four that work, so that's 50%. Two of those tattoo artists have become devout devout Trumpians, Trump thumpers. One of them wears a 47 hat when they tattoo.

• 1:40:21Speaker 06

  Yada yada. And I gotta say, bro, it's getting to the point where I can't handle it there.

• 1:40:27Stavros Halkias?

  I get that.

• 1:40:27Speaker 06

  I don't know what to do. I didn't vote for Trump. I didn't vote for Kamala. I ain't voted in two presidential cycles because this whole thing is a joke.

• 1:40:37Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:37Speaker 06

  So what would your suggestions be for me? Should I like start getting vocal and try to change their minds at the shop? At least shut them down and say, keep your politics the hell out of our counterculture safe haven? Or do I just get on the road and get it, get into a different shop? Uh, let me know, bro. Love you.

• 1:40:59Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, this is a tough one because yeah, what he's saying is like tattooing you'd think would be a spec. It's like it started as like literally for fucking criminals who couldn't do anything else. And now it's become like, you know, the effect that there's like people who just are aligning themselves with like fascist bullshit. That's, that, that sucks even more than like, you know, if you're working in finance and everybody's a Republican, no shit. You know what I mean? Like if you're working in certain industries, you know to expect that. So I don't, I don't know. Like if this was me, I guess I'm a little confused. Like is this, are these people his boss? They just his coworkers?

• 1:41:36Speaker 04

  Sounds like coworkers. Sounds like two other tattoo guys at the shop.

• 1:41:39Stavros Halkias?

  If they're coworkers and you're equals essentially, it's like you, I think, I don't think there's anything wrong with, cause like, look. My stance is like, I don't.

• 1:41:50Stavros Halkias?

  I have friends who I have different political beliefs with. I have people that I don't see eye to eye with on everything. But if you, right now, think the Trump administration is doing a good job, you're fucking brain dead.

• 1:42:01Speaker 04

  Crazy.

• 1:42:01Stavros Halkias?

  You're a fucking, like, something is, you're either so stupid that you think Trump, like, you're literally think of Trump as like some sort of god figure. Or you're just, you're either racist, or you're a fascist, or you're like, you love that, you know, people are being, you know, they're getting snatched up off the streets, that we're starting fucking illegal wars, I don't know what the fuck you're, you know, I don't know what it is, but it's not good, right? Or you're cynically trying to become, like, you know, in entertainment, people are trying to harness, you know, the, because whatever you say about them, these people are fucking dumb as shit, but they're very loyal. So I'm sure there's people, there's people in entertainment right now that are trying to appeal to them. But in any case, my stance is if right now you think this administration did a good job, you're a fucking idiot.

• 1:42:44Stavros Halkias?

  And so like, it's, we're not, and by the way, I don't, I didn't feel this way during the election, right? Like, I, people who voted for Trump, but now are like, holy fuck, I was duped, I was stupid, whatever. I think we could, you know, I'm not mad at, I mean, I think it's a very regrettable voting for him, I think, I think you're probably pretty dumb to fall for it in the first place, but we can build off that, right? We can get people who like, are like, oh, I fucked up and I don't want my country to be like this, right? So, I think there's nothing wrong with you being vocal about that in your shop, in a thing that you, he's been tattooing for, what'd he say, 30 years? I don't know how long he's been, did he say how long he was at this shop?

• 1:43:21Speaker 04

  Four years.

• 1:43:22Stavros Halkias?

  Four years, I guess, you know, are those guys more senior than him? I don't know. Did you accidentally, uh, join like a, sort of like crypto fascist tattoo shop? Because that also has happened too, let's not be, let's be honest. There are tattooers who are like that, like, but, I guess that's my thing. If you feel like these people are kind of ruining your community and like fucking up a place that you helped build and helped see as a counterculture, like, safe, safe place. I don't think there's anything wrong with you being vocal. Now, are you gonna change their minds? Probably not. But it's good for you to sort of just take a stance. And I think all we can hope for these people is that like they understand that they are pariahs. That they need to feel that.

• 1:44:03Stavros Halkias?

  And I think like, and I do think like the only entertainment is pretty powerless against some of the biggest. If we're being honest, we're pretty powerless against really stopping wars and shit like that. But what we can do.

• 1:44:15Speaker 01

  Is make a song.

• 1:44:16Stavros Halkias?

  But.

• 1:44:17Speaker 01

  There comes a time.

• 1:44:18Stavros Halkias?

  But no, like, I think a lot of entertainers have very cowardly taken the stance of like, hey, everybody buys tickets, right? Or like, artists have become so financially and like, like, uh, like fame hungry even more than ever. So willing to sell out that they don't want to offend anyone that could put money or fame in their pocket. And that's cowardice. And I think we need to move away from that cowardice. And all we can do is say like, hey, anyone who acts this way, I don't want in my community. It's not, it's, is it a symbolic gesture? I don't know, but it's better than nothing, right? It's better than being like, let's ignore all of this. And I could say if somebody was saying, you know, like there are comedians who have these beliefs.

• 1:45:02Stavros Halkias?

  And if I was on a show with them, I would make fun of them for being stupid. That's what I can do, right?

• 1:45:06Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:45:07Stavros Halkias?

  And you can do, what you can do is make, make people who, you know, like, who come into your shop, feel more welcome by being like, I mean, at the same time, a lot of people are getting fucking tattoos of this motherfucker wearing a Trump hat. So he must be nice. He must be really good. He must, he must have clean lines.

• 1:45:24Speaker 01

  Nah, you know the lines is dirty.

• 1:45:26Stavros Halkias?

  Great shading.

• 1:45:27Speaker 02

  Did he say that he didn't vote for the last?

• 1:45:30Speaker 01

  He said he didn't vote for the last two elections and now he wants to change his mind. Baby, change your mind.

• 1:45:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:45:35Stavros Halkias?

  I will, listen, I, I do understand people who, if you don't live in a, I'll be, I didn't vote for Kamala because I live in New York. And I thought, I thought the Democrats were being very cowards about Palestine. I think like, I didn't think that the, I mean, the Biden administration didn't really behave that much differently on the border as Trump won. I had real problems with Kam, and I thought the Democrats. Sort of, they didn't have a, they should have had a fucking open primary. They basically told us who the pres, who our candidate was gonna be. And if I lived in a swing state, yes, I would have voted for Kamala, right?

• 1:46:06Speaker 02

  So, but wait, did you, so who did you vote for?

• 1:46:09Stavros Halkias?

  I just didn't vote for anybody for president. I voted, I voted for, I voted for local, you know, my local elections. And that was more symbolic because I knew they were gonna win New York anyway. If I lived in Ohio, if I lived in Florida, I probably, I would have probably voted Democrat. I would have. And this guy, you know, I do get it. I do think you guys are right that it's like, you know. But I do think that's the thing is like, we are so far away from normal politics that even people who are completely apolitical see this as a fucking cancer in our culture.

• 1:46:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:46:42Stavros Halkias?

  And I don't, you know, I think now's the time to kind of unite everyone from, even if they weren't political, even if, even if they were Republican, even if they were like, even if they were Trump voters the first time, right? Now's the time for all of us to be like, we really don't want to live in this country. This is not what we want our country to be.

• 1:46:58Speaker 01

  America is in its flop era, right?

• 1:47:00Stavros Halkias?

  It's, we're flopping, China's gotta, China's gonna catch us.

• 1:47:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, but.

• 1:47:04Speaker 01

  I'm about to, I'm about to start learning Chinese on my Duolingo.

• 1:47:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, but yeah, throw Mandarin on there for sure.

• 1:47:09Speaker 02

  But also, it's like, I'm not also spending the last of my years trying to educate these, and beg and plead these people.

• 1:47:16Stavros Halkias?

  For sure.

• 1:47:16Speaker 02

  To be on the right side, because they don't want to. They, like, they have all the information, this is what they want to do. And so, it's like, what are we doing here? These people have all of the information, they see what's going on. Are your eyes closed?

• 1:47:30Stavros Halkias?

  But I think our, there's a difference between our caller, who like, who just, like, even people like our caller, who's like, look, I don't fucking want anything to do with, there's a difference between like, not being involved with politics, and actively in this moment in time being like, Trump's the man, right?

• 1:47:45Speaker 01

  Wearing that hat to work is like, hey, we don't do politics here, take that off.

• 1:47:48Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah.

• 1:47:49Speaker 01

  Next time you walk by him and he's tattooing, just flip it off.

• 1:47:52Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Move his arm a little bit, fuck up the fucking person's tattoo.

• 1:47:56Speaker 01

  No regrets.

• 1:47:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, but you can't say you're not into politics and live in America and have all the rights that you have. That's, that's, that's politics. That's what it is. You can't, you can't remove yourself from it and be like, oh, I don't want to get involved. When it's like you are benefiting from being in America. So.

• 1:48:16Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, I, I agree that I do think when, I do think particularly in this moment in time, people being like, both sides are crazy. They're out of their mind. They're like, that we're done with centrist bullshit. That's not going to save America, right? And I agree with you. I just think like for our caller, like this is your time to like, do something different, to be like, to show that you're, this isn't acceptable for you. And then if you do leave, now maybe focus on like, yeah, making a shop that actively is counterculture, that is actively, you know, uh, trying to be a place for, uh, immigrants, you know, like, you know, LGBT people, like just accepting of everybody.

• 1:48:55Speaker 02

  Who is he giving tattoos to? ICE agents?

• 1:48:57Stavros Halkias?

  It is interesting, like who does. I mean, honestly, yeah.

• 1:49:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:49:00Stavros Halkias?

  ICE agents do need to fucking have, you know, a horrible cross on their arm or whatever the fuck.

• 1:49:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're their shit wrong.

• 1:49:06Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah. There's people, there are definitely racist love tattoos. So it's like, but, but that's the thing, man. This actually, Sydney, I think you are very right where it's like, I think what we're learning now and what I hope is that like, people, people should understand that there really is no neutral here. There's like, make a difference or you're helping or, or just like you're helping. And it's not even a big difference, but it's just like, do something.

• 1:49:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:49:30Stavros Halkias?

  And so I think now's a good chance for you to be like, what kind of shop do I want to be in, right? You can't, you're not going to stop this person from being a fucking idiot.

• 1:49:38Speaker 02

  Nope.

• 1:49:38Stavros Halkias?

  But can you, can you take this and on your net, like if you starting a new job, a huge, you're in a new place and you just don't really, you're not actively helping. This is a moment for you to be like, all right, I'm going to fucking try and like balance the universe a little bit and do a shop that actively courts counterculture, actively courts misfits, actively is, isn't, you know, racist, sex, whatever that movement is. So.

• 1:50:02Speaker 02

  I wonder what city he's in.

• 1:50:04Stavros Halkias?

  That's interesting. We can look up his area code, but that doesn't usually.

• 1:50:07Speaker 02

  Right in my mind, it's like Portland or something.

• 1:50:09Stavros Halkias?

  That doesn't usually tell, he could be anywhere. Like I have my Baltimore.

• 1:50:12Speaker 02

  He could be anywhere.

• 1:50:13Stavros Halkias?

  You know what I mean?

• 1:50:14Speaker 02

  He could literally be anywhere.

• 1:50:15Speaker 04

  This actually is very interesting, gives it some good context and I guess we could bleep it.

• 1:50:22Stavros Halkias?

  Oh, okay. That makes sense. But again, he could, he could just not be there, right? Like, so I don't know. Yeah, his phone's from there.

• 1:50:32Speaker 02

  The altitude, a lot of oxygen is being cut off.

• 1:50:35Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, maybe.

• 1:50:35Speaker 01

  The air is thinner.

• 1:50:36Stavros Halkias?

  The air is thinner makes you racist.

• 1:50:38Speaker 01

  And they're all high as shit. Thin air makes you racist. That's what I heard.

• 1:50:43Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, so yeah, dude, fucking do that. But that's got, that does have to be annoying. I mean, yeah, tattoos is like, it is people that just like have markings on their faces. People who could never have another job, so. But yeah, dude, I think that's how you handle it personally. It's like, start being more vocal. Be like, this shit is fucking unacceptable. Which again, I would do, I personally, I do think that shit is unacceptable. And I do think it's fucking corny.

• 1:51:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:51:07Stavros Halkias?

  When, when people are, especially comedians are pro-Trump right now.

• 1:51:12Stavros Halkias?

  But yeah, I think that's what you can do. And then, yeah, if you have to leave.

• 1:51:14Speaker 02

  Cause their lights are on, though. Their lights are on, they're like, yeah, I'm not on the right side, but look, look at all the money I got. There's a lot of people who are on the, the, the, yeah, side you're supposed to be on. Hey, man, Kana is about to get cut off.

• 1:51:25Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:51:26Speaker 02

  You know, they're not getting any tickets. Like, people are not showing up. But as soon as they're being activists.

• 1:51:32Speaker 01

  Well, because that's the thing. The people who are like pro-Trump are loud about it and people support them. The people who are not Trump are afraid that people aren't gonna buy tickets to their thing. So they're quiet about, I don't know.

• 1:51:45Stavros Halkias?

  The middleman shit is like, I do think artists in general, it's like, we gotta stop being, too many artists have started thinking like business people first. And it's like, that's the, I kind of feel like this tattoo guy where it's like, the whole point is we did this because we didn't want real jobs.

• 1:51:58Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:51:58Stavros Halkias?

  It's not to like, like, I really, look, I've been, I'm very happy with the success. It's awesome. I like fucking not worrying about money. But it's like, I did this so I wouldn't have to have a fucking job. I'm not gonna like try and get as rich. I just think too many artists worry about getting as rich and as famous as possible. And it's like, if you're able to have a good living off your art. That's all you need to do. That's the goal. And then you can actually, what's the stuff that made you passionate about art? You know what I mean? Like, do you want to say something?

• 1:52:22Speaker 01

  People lose track of that after a while. You know what I mean?

• 1:52:24Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, that's true.

• 1:52:24Speaker 01

  And we live in a time where everybody wants to be famous for being famous.

• 1:52:27Speaker 02

  Everybody.

• 1:52:28Speaker 01

  Everybody wants to be famous for being famous.

• 1:52:30Speaker 02

  They've lost the plot, honey.

• 1:52:31Speaker 01

  Well, do you have a skill?

• 1:52:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Do you have anything you want to say?

• 1:52:34Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:52:35Stavros Halkias?

  Do you have a skill you want to develop?

• 1:52:36Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:52:38Speaker 02

  Do you have a hobby? Can you read? No, no.

• 1:52:41Speaker 01

  It's like, I'm on Twitch? No. And it's like, okay.

• 1:52:46Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, no, but I can do a Get Ready With Me. But I can do a couple Get Ready With Me videos.

• 1:52:50Speaker 01

  That's it.

• 1:52:51Stavros Halkias?

  Anyway, yeah, good luck, I guess. I don't fucking know.

• 1:52:54Speaker 01

  You gotta get a new job, babe.

• 1:52:56Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, start a cooler tattoo shop. I don't fucking know what to tell you. You got a quick one, a fun one for us to go out on, Mr. Eldis?

• 1:53:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, let's give the women out there a little hope here.

• 1:53:06Stavros Halkias?

  Okay.

• 1:53:08Speaker 02

  Hi, Stobby Baby. First time, long time. I am currently listening to the bonus episode of 179. And it's the last call, the caller and the lovely fellow 36G baddie just called in and is worried about losing her nice tits with getting on the weight loss meds. Now, we're all different, but I want to tell you guys, I'm on, I'm a fellow deathbound baddie and I've lost some weight. I've lost a little bit of my ass, which, you know, that's sad. But I am happy to report after losing about 40 pounds, my 36Gs are still very much intact. So, like you were saying on the pod, it is worth it for the health benefits.

• 1:53:53Speaker 02

  And, you know, some of us lucky gals out here might just get to keep our gigantic tits. So, say yes to drugs, I guess, in this case. Anyway, love you. Thanks. Bye.

• 1:54:04Stavros Halkias?

  I want to believe you, but, you know, you could be lying. Do you have any proof?

• 1:54:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, where the proof at? There are attachments and that's to me. You got 36Gs, you should have sent 36 pins.

• 1:54:18Speaker 02

  Yeah. We're, you know, respectfully, we'll look at them.

• 1:54:21Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, we'll look at them just to verify what you're saying is true. Not for horny. Reasons.

• 1:54:25Speaker 01

  But also, is that true? You lost your ass, but the titties are the same size.

• 1:54:30Speaker 02

  There was not much ass to begin with. Maybe that.

• 1:54:32Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, it's possible.

• 1:54:33Speaker 01

  She just realized.

• 1:54:35Stavros Halkias?

  It's possible.

• 1:54:35Speaker 01

  She didn't have ass this whole time.

• 1:54:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:54:36Stavros Halkias?

  It's quite possible.

• 1:54:37Speaker 01

  And my shaman line twist.

• 1:54:40Stavros Halkias?

  But here's the good news. You can, you can build an ass in the gym.

• 1:54:43Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:54:44Stavros Halkias?

  You can't really build titties in the gym.

• 1:54:45Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:54:46Stavros Halkias?

  No.

• 1:54:46Speaker 01

  You can build pecs.

• 1:54:47Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So yes, that's wonderful news. Get on drugs. You'll keep your fat juicy tits, hopefully.

• 1:54:54Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:54:54Stavros Halkias?

  Um, gals, thank you so much for coming.

• 1:54:56Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, yay!

• 1:54:58Stavros Halkias?

  You're the best on a Sunday. Fresh from church. They took, they took Marie's dad's Benz here. They drove it here.

• 1:55:07Speaker 01

  This is my Jesus, my lady.

• 1:55:12Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, go see Sydney in, uh, Edinburgh.

• 1:55:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:55:15Stavros Halkias?

  Uh, when Marie's, uh, Tubi show comes out, which we are big Tubi fans here.

• 1:55:21Speaker 01

  Watch it.

• 1:55:22Stavros Halkias?

  Um, I literally was, I didn't know, I, I literally didn't know that. And I was thinking like, I was like, I kinda wanna make a, a low budget indie movie and put it on Tubi directly. I kinda wanna do, like, I was thinking.

• 1:55:31Speaker 01

  I'm an influencer.

• 1:55:33Stavros Halkias?

  You are. I love, I think that's the way shit's going. I think.

• 1:55:35Speaker 02

  It is.

• 1:55:35Stavros Halkias?

  I, I really think so.

• 1:55:36Speaker 01

  It's there or YouTube.

• 1:55:38Stavros Halkias?

  Absolutely.

• 1:55:39Speaker 01

  Like YouTube is the new Netflix.

• 1:55:40Stavros Halkias?

  Kristen Stewart just said she wanted to make a movie and put it on YouTube. And I kinda know what she's talking about. I think like, we, now people want, like, I, people just want people to see their stuff.

• 1:55:49Speaker 02

  That's it.

• 1:55:49Stavros Halkias?

  And there's.

• 1:55:50Speaker 01

  Just watch it.

• 1:55:50Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, so.

• 1:55:51Speaker 01

  And as it does well, you know, the ad dollars will, will roll in or whatever.

• 1:55:55Stavros Halkias?

  Totally.

• 1:55:55Speaker 01

  Everyone has access to Tubi. Everyone has access to YouTube.

• 1:55:58Speaker 02

  And that's what it's really about, having access.

• 1:56:00Speaker 01

  Youtubi.

• 1:56:02Stavros Halkias?

  Youtubi. Let's get them together. That's beautiful.

• 1:56:04Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:56:05Stavros Halkias?

  Wow.

• 1:56:05Speaker 02

  Access, access to, you know, all of the art, access to healthcare, access to abortions.

• 1:56:11Speaker 01

  Clean bathrooms.

• 1:56:12Stavros Halkias?

  Yeah, clean bathrooms. Yeah, absolutely.

• 1:56:14Speaker 02

  It's all about access.

• 1:56:15Stavros Halkias?

  That's a beautiful utopia we would all like to live in someday.

• 1:56:18Speaker 01

  Clean bathrooms and big titties.

• 1:56:21Stavros Halkias?

  Very important stuff. We'll see you next time. Bye.

• 1:56:24Speaker 02

  Bye.