Trixie Mattel Returns Again

Welcome! This week brings us the latest member of the 3 timers club, Trixie Mattel! Trixie and Caleb talk sleep scores, full body scans, what they watch on planes, and Trixie once again attempts to collect that coveted $50 from the True or False game. Join our Substack for ad free full episodes, early access to merch, our community chat, and more! https://calebsaysthings.substack.com/ Follow Trixie! @trixiemattel Follow the show! @sooootruepod Follow Caleb! @calebsaysthings Produced by Chance Nichols @chanceisloud Visit https://hin.ge/SoTruewithCalebHearon to download Hinge today! Visit https://Quince.com/sotrue for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at https://RocketMoney.com/SOTRUE Go to https://www.squarespace.com/SOTRUE to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code SOTRUE. So True with Caleb Hearon is edited and engineered by Nicole Lyons. Our social media manager is Anna Weis. All episodes are filmed in The So Trudio at Legitimate Business World Headquarters in Brooklyn, New York. A Wave series. https://wavesportsandentertainment.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Let's be honest, you don't go to the holiday gift exchange just to participate. You go to win. This year, cause a stir. Gift a KitchenAid stand mixer to whip up new traditions. Tis your season to mix it up.

• 0:16Speaker 01

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• 0:45Speaker 02

  In this life, you can't win.

• 0:47Speaker 03

  When the world gets you down.

• 0:48Speaker 02

  No!

• 0:49Speaker 03

  Escape to Pluto TV. This is objectively fantastic. Relax into the movies and shows you already know and love, all for free.

• 0:56Speaker 02

  Shwing!

• 0:57Speaker 03

  Even our news is uplifting.

• 0:58Speaker 04

  You stay classy, San Diego.

• 1:00Speaker 03

  Watch School of Rock, Crazy Ex Girlfriend, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, The X-Files, Wayne's World, and so much more. We're not worthy! The best things on TV really are free.

• 1:09Speaker 05

  You just have to know where to look.

• 1:11Speaker 03

  Escape to Pluto TV. Stream now, pay never.

• 1:19Speaker 06

  Girl, it was like them.com or out.com or something. And they had an article that was like, I'm 67 and I'm wanting to get to have my first time same-sex experience. What is your advice? It was a 67-year-old and I just commented 6'7".

• 1:35Speaker 07

  This is the beloved community that we're supposed to be in.

• 1:41Speaker 06

  I did this on the pod yesterday with Katya. I was like, well, there's something that happened in my life and I'm tired of hiding it. And yes, I got an OraRing.

• 1:50Speaker 06

  So far, it's been two nights and last night I really went in on my sleep score. I was like, I'll show you. Cause the night before, OraRing was like, damn bitch, what are you? What are you just laying there and scream?

• 1:58Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:59Speaker 06

  The OraRing was like...

• 2:01Speaker 07

  That's not you scream for seven hours.

• 2:03Speaker 06

  I know. So last night, I laid in bed, I laid on the bed pissed off at 7:30, like, I'm gonna show you OraRing.

• 2:09Speaker 07

  And then what happened?

• 2:11Speaker 06

  10 hours and 42 minutes of sleep.

• 2:12Speaker 07

  Trixie!

• 2:13Speaker 06

  93% ready for the day. That's not even 100%. So do I need the Michael Jackson propathol to get to 100?

• 2:19Speaker 07

  No. You need, I think we're fine. We don't need as much sleep as they say.

• 2:23Speaker 06

  Well, that's what Katya says about drinking water. She says that eight glasses a day is perpetrated by big water.

• 2:29Speaker 07

  I don't wanna be grouped in, I don't want my sleep thing to be grouped in with her water thing.

• 2:32Speaker 06

  The thing is, this is my two health consultants, you and her.

• 2:35Speaker 07

  And you're in big trouble. You're in big trouble.

• 2:38Speaker 06

  But you know what? She's so funny because she's so hot, cold about some things. Like, she's like, no phones in bed.

• 2:44Speaker 07

  That's really funny.

• 2:44Speaker 06

  So bad for you. I'm like, oh, is it? You know what else is bad for you? A decade of hard drug abuse.

• 2:52Speaker 06

  But she's right.

• 2:53Speaker 07

  She is right.

• 2:53Speaker 06

  I think you're not supposed to do phones in bed. And you really shouldn't do TVs in bed.

• 2:57Speaker 07

  No TV in the bedroom is my biggest thing.

• 2:58Speaker 06

  I'm not a TV in bed person, but I find myself with men that need the TV on. They need the nookie. They need the nipple at night.

• 3:05Speaker 07

  They can't be sucking on the nipple. They need to turn that TV off.

• 3:07Speaker 06

  6:30 this morning, I wake up to, I wake up to Nene Leaks screaming.

• 3:12Speaker 07

  No.

• 3:13Speaker 06

  You know what I mean?

• 3:14Speaker 07

  Trixie, you gotta...

• 3:15Speaker 06

  So I flipped over to Daria and went back to sleep.

• 3:16Speaker 07

  You're letting another woman make your man smile. You need to turn that TV off.

• 3:20Speaker 06

  Close your leg to married men.

• 3:21Speaker 07

  If he's watching Nene Leaks, it's because he's wishing that you were down there making something else leak.

• 3:28Speaker 07

  If he's watching Nene Leaks, it's cause he's wishing you were down there making something else leak.

• 3:33Speaker 06

  If my dick is leaking, I have gonorrhea.

• 3:36Speaker 07

  If your dick is leaking, people's dicks leak for really positive reasons.

• 3:39Speaker 06

  Oh yeah, that's true.

• 3:41Speaker 06

  But who's gonna phrase it like that? You're so hot, I'm leaking.

• 3:44Speaker 07

  People say shit like that, unfortunately.

• 3:45Speaker 06

  I hate that.

• 3:46Speaker 07

  You're not on Grindr, so you don't know how bad it can be.

• 3:48Speaker 06

  I don't like that. I don't like, um, well, milking.

• 3:54Speaker 07

  Ew.

• 3:54Speaker 06

  Milked, I'd like to be milked.

• 3:56Speaker 07

  Ew, I'm not into that.

• 3:57Speaker 06

  Oh my God, Katya and I were talking about like when people are like, I have a seven-day load or whatever.

• 4:02Speaker 07

  Ew.

• 4:02Speaker 06

  She thought it meant you've been holding someone's load in your ass for seven days.

• 4:06Speaker 07

  That is a reasonable thing to think with gay guys.

• 4:08Speaker 06

  But she also almost just died of abdominal obstruction.

• 4:11Speaker 07

  Did she really?

• 4:12Speaker 06

  Yes, girl, she almost died two months ago.

• 4:14Speaker 07

  And abdominal obstruction, what does that mean?

• 4:15Speaker 06

  We were this close. Do you realize?

• 4:17Speaker 07

  You almost got your payout.

• 4:18Speaker 06

  I would've gone on the biggest Sidney Prescott Out of Darkness tour. I would've wrote a book. I would've, it would've been like, it would've been like when Emmylou Harris lost Grant Parsons.

• 4:27Speaker 07

  What would you have worn to her funeral? I bet it would be so fucking fierce.

• 4:30Speaker 06

  Red, it would've been that wedding. The wedding dress, the wedding dress from Beetlejuice.

• 4:37Speaker 07

  That's what she would, she would've wanted. You say through tears, she would've wanted me to wear this.

• 4:40Speaker 06

  Well, we joke because I have chronic illness, I have arthritis, but she has put her body through the movie Twister.

• 4:46Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 4:47Speaker 06

  So we're always saying who's gonna die first. And she's like, if you die before me, I will be legitimately pissed off. And I'm like, at who?

• 4:54Speaker 07

  Well, you and God.

• 4:56Speaker 06

  She's also eight years older than me though. But you know, she's like, she's been one of those 112-year-old people who never goes to the doctor, doesn't drink water. It is just fine.

• 5:04Speaker 07

  Yeah. You were talking about something you found at my house?

• 5:07Speaker 06

  Oh, I went to your beautiful home. Like, one of the most beautiful homes I've ever been in.

• 5:12Speaker 07

  You did in Kansas City?

• 5:13Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 5:13Speaker 07

  It is a gorgeous home, I can't lie.

• 5:15Speaker 06

  It's gorgeous, the neighborhood, the porch, your roommate was there, she was doing a show that night.

• 5:19Speaker 07

  She's not my roommate.

• 5:20Speaker 06

  She isn't?

• 5:21Speaker 07

  She's just a house guest.

• 5:23Speaker 06

  Oh, there was a guitar there, it was hers.

• 5:24Speaker 07

  She was staying there for an extended amount of time.

• 5:26Speaker 06

  We also need to talk about that because I just had a house guest for two days. And that was the perfect amount of time, which is obviously different than what you do, which is Miss Hannigan.

• 5:34Speaker 07

  Trixie, my house guests don't leave.

• 5:35Speaker 06

  Adoption.

• 5:36Speaker 07

  I can't get these lesbians out of my house.

• 5:37Speaker 06

  They're all there with their guitars, squatting, they're all dating.

• 5:40Speaker 07

  They're literally squatting. They come, I, my friend went over a couple of weeks ago to grab something. And he was like, do you know what I found when I got in your house? There were three animals that don't belong to you. There was a lesbian getting a haircut in a hallway.

• 5:54Speaker 07

  And he was like, there was a group of people practicing music on the third floor. I don't even know who they were, I didn't interact with them.

• 5:59Speaker 06

  That's fun.

• 6:00Speaker 07

  It's super fun, but I can't get these people to leave. I'm in a real tough spot.

• 6:03Speaker 06

  Are you, you're not a musician.

• 6:05Speaker 07

  No.

• 6:05Speaker 06

  You're a, you're a music lover, supporter.

• 6:07Speaker 07

  I'm an ally.

• 6:08Speaker 06

  Yeah. Do, you must like having like musicians around the house.

• 6:11Speaker 07

  I love it, I wish they'd pay rent.

• 6:13Speaker 06

  Well...

• 6:14Speaker 07

  They don't pay me a dime.

• 6:15Speaker 06

  Music, there's famously a musical about how musicians, musicians aren't gonna pay rent.

• 6:19Speaker 07

  Which one is it?

• 6:20Speaker 06

  It's called Cats.

• 6:24Speaker 06

  Well, I, your, your house guest was there playing a guitar and I liked that. But also I saw, um, back to flirting, I saw the used condom above your bed.

• 6:34Speaker 07

  Did you really?

• 6:35Speaker 06

  Yeah, I walked in and you were like, oh, that's from, um, today. And I was like, oh.

• 6:41Speaker 07

  That's awesome, I'm glad I was using condoms.

• 6:42Speaker 06

  Caleb has game and wants you to know about it.

• 6:46Speaker 07

  I'm glad I was using condoms because I went through a no condoms era and it got scary quick. Cause I'm not on prep. And I really, I don't know what I was thinking, but yeah, me and some, me and some oral HIV tests had some chats. And I'm good, but it got scary, I need to be wearing condoms. I'm glad I was wearing condoms in that era.

• 7:03Speaker 06

  I'm very pro condom as well. I'm pro prep, pro condom, pro abstinence, pro whatever safety practices you would like to practice. I'm pro all of them.

• 7:11Speaker 07

  Do you know what I did the other day? I got a full-body MRI scan.

• 7:14Speaker 06

  Oh, girl, did you Pranuvo?

• 7:16Speaker 07

  Well, no, it's a different one, but yes, I got the full-body MRI.

• 7:18Speaker 06

  You went to the Costco Pranuvo?

• 7:19Speaker 07

  I went to the one in Kansas City, they don't have Pranuvo.

• 7:21Speaker 06

  I, I do it once a year.

• 7:22Speaker 07

  It's a fraction of the price, do you really?

• 7:23Speaker 06

  Yes!

• 7:24Speaker 07

  I had one, I haven't gotten the results yet. I'm terrified and exhilarated.

• 7:27Speaker 06

  It makes you feel so much worse.

• 7:30Speaker 07

  Really?

• 7:33Speaker 06

  It makes you feel so much worse.

• 7:35Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 7:36Speaker 06

  Like, well, I, did yours have a TV?

• 7:38Speaker 07

  No.

• 7:38Speaker 06

  Okay, the Pranuvo one, you get like plastic earbuds and they put on whatever you want on Netflix.

• 7:43Speaker 07

  Yeah, they're $6,000 for a reason.

• 7:44Speaker 06

  Yeah, and there's a mirror above you that reflects to a TV in another room that you, I watched like the Ashley Madison documentary while I found out if I was dying. But I, um, I, to me, I feel that in this country, of course, it's a crisis, health access crisis. But if I have access, far be it for me to not use money for that.

• 8:03Speaker 07

  Did it find anything?

• 8:04Speaker 06

  It finds a lot of, what do they call it? Um, what's the word? When it's like a non-event, um, what is it called? It's a coincidental findings.

• 8:11Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 8:12Speaker 06

  Things that they would never see unless you got, like, oh, you have a, your nose is crooked.

• 8:17Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 8:18Speaker 06

  It finds things that are like very low on the totem pole of like, who cares? Do you want, um, I think mine had like, your brain has the circle of Willis, which is just like Bruce Willis in your mind. No, I don't know. It's...

• 8:29Speaker 07

  I think they're fucking with you.

• 8:30Speaker 06

  No, no, no, it's all kinds of weird, like, oh, you have a slight scoliosis, but nothing that gives you an actual problem in your life.

• 8:37Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 8:37Speaker 06

  Coincidental finding. Oh, tiny fat fatty tumor in your spine. They were like, oh, most people have things like that, we never even know.

• 8:44Speaker 07

  I had a friend who I ran into recently, this is the reason I got the full-body scan. I am in an era where my hypochondria is not back, but it's certainly attempting to make a comeback, Valerie Cherish. And I have ran into a friend who told me that one of these companies was like, hey, do you want a free full-body MRI scan? She's famous, of course. And she was like, sure, I guess I'll take one if it's free. And they found brain cancer in her brain.

• 9:08Speaker 06

  That's usually where they find it.

• 9:09Speaker 07

  They were like, they found brain cancer in her brain, Trixie.

• 9:12Speaker 06

  I can't believe it.

• 9:12Speaker 07

  I know. And they were like, if you wouldn't have done this, you probably would've started having symptoms when it was too late. And instead, they found it early and they took it out. And now, she's gonna be fine.

• 9:21Speaker 06

  That's what I'm saying, I, I have similar, I have problems that now I'm past, which were a little bit secret, that I've never really even talked about. But I'll talk about it with you because I think maybe you have something similar. When my anxiety was at its absolute peak, I was a chronic, all-day medical panicker.

• 9:37Speaker 07

  I thought you were gonna say masturbator for some reason.

• 9:39Speaker 06

  No, no, no.

• 9:40Speaker 07

  Was anyone else with me on that? Chronic, all-day, medical, I was like, masturbation is coming.

• 9:44Speaker 06

  What's a medical masturbator? I put on a COVID mask?

• 9:46Speaker 07

  Yeah, that'd be hot.

• 9:48Speaker 06

  I come into the COVID mask and put it on.

• 9:49Speaker 07

  If you do it more than twice a day, it's medical to me.

• 9:52Speaker 06

  I was, anything that could be, I was Googling.

• 9:55Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 9:55Speaker 06

  And particularly when I started to, when I got diagnosed with arthritis, it became a, I didn't understand so many of the symptoms of anxiety that feel all physical.

• 10:05Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 10:06Speaker 06

  I thought, oh, I feel short of breath, lung cancer.

• 10:09Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 10:09Speaker 06

  I feel this, it's, it's been, now I've learned through bitter experience that so much of that is just like...

• 10:17Speaker 07

  Are you on meds?

• 10:18Speaker 06

  Yeah, now I am.

• 10:18Speaker 07

  Anxiety meds?

• 10:19Speaker 06

  Changed my life.

• 10:20Speaker 07

  Really?

• 10:20Speaker 06

  Changed my life.

• 10:21Speaker 07

  I don't know if I'm anxious.

• 10:22Speaker 06

  I didn't think I was until that, when that, when that medicine hit. Wow, bitch, you needed to be shut down like a computer a long fucking time ago.

• 10:31Speaker 07

  What are the side effects?

• 10:32Speaker 06

  Somebody needed to walk into the family computer in the living room and unpull the plug and say, go to bed.

• 10:36Speaker 07

  Take this bitch off.

• 10:36Speaker 06

  Yes! Um, well, I have no side effects.

• 10:40Speaker 07

  Nice.

• 10:41Speaker 06

  No.

• 10:41Speaker 07

  You're just less anxious and you have no side effects, this is a miracle.

• 10:43Speaker 06

  Magical, creative breakthrough. Also, I do therapy twice a week. Also, I exercise. So I'm doing everything.

• 10:49Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 10:50Speaker 06

  So it's hard to say one thing has changed everything.

• 10:52Speaker 07

  Twice a week on the therapy?

• 10:53Speaker 06

  Isn't that crazy?

• 10:54Speaker 07

  Oh my God.

• 10:54Speaker 06

  This is the thing about therapy, it's an MLM. It's sort of like, well, now that you're doing so good... After you've been seeing me twice a year, or if you've seen me twice a week for two years, now we can finally begin. It's a little bit like, it's a little bit like, you know, you've been doing so good that I think we should go up to three times a week.

• 11:15Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 11:15Speaker 06

  And is there anybody you can call to get $250 from right now? To sign up for my course?

• 11:20Speaker 07

  You've unlocked another session with me. Congratulations.

• 11:23Speaker 06

  It's, it's, I'm afraid to say scientologic, but it's, it's, there's a ladder.

• 11:28Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 11:28Speaker 06

  There's a therapy ladder that you can climb, but I also like about therapy is you really can choose your own destiny. If you wanna do once a month, that's still better than nothing.

• 11:39Speaker 07

  Sure. And if you do it enough, you start diagnosing other people and being pretty bizarre in your relationships.

• 11:43Speaker 06

  Absolutely. Well, I will say this, do you do therapy?

• 11:46Speaker 07

  I just restarted for the first time in a very long time.

• 11:48Speaker 06

  Thank God.

• 11:50Speaker 07

  I don't, I don't want that to be, try a different response.

• 11:53Speaker 06

  Oh, good.

• 11:57Speaker 06

  But I noticed-

• 11:58Speaker 07

  What do you think I need to work on in therapy? And what are you working on in therapy?

• 12:01Speaker 06

  Oh, for me, I've had a lot of breakthroughs recently, actually.

• 12:05Speaker 07

  What's your most recent one?

• 12:06Speaker 06

  Well, the level of anxiety and panic that I felt all the time for years-

• 12:10Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 12:11Speaker 06

  Was so chronic and so always, that I thought it was my brazen ambition, and I thought it was all good things about me.

• 12:17Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 12:18Speaker 06

  That I always wanted to do something and push myself and exhaust myself. And now I've realized, um, to be my best creative self, to calm down bitch.

• 12:27Speaker 07

  Hmm.

• 12:28Speaker 06

  Everything you do doesn't have to be, I've put a lot of pressure on myself that everything I did has to be valuable, good, profitable, whatever.

• 12:36Speaker 07

  That never showed up in the work.

• 12:39Speaker 06

  But it's true, because like focusing on something being good, it doesn't mean anything.

• 12:44Speaker 07

  Hmm.

• 12:44Speaker 06

  What is good?

• 12:45Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 12:46Speaker 06

  A, it's subjective, B, you can't create and edit at the same time. Now I've gotten a lot more into the process of making things is the best part of it.

• 12:53Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 12:54Speaker 06

  It's, that, that, after you've made something, it's kind of like, it's not even your business. Now it's being experienced, it's gone.

• 13:00Speaker 07

  This is actually the most healthy antidote to the like nightmare time that we're living in, where everyone's so obsessed with outcome that they're willing, they're actually willing to just trade away the process entirely.

• 13:09Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 13:10Speaker 07

  This is the problem with a lot of things, but AI in particular, uh, some other like fast acting health, uh, things that are going on right now. Is that no one really cares about process when process and experience is the whole point. Like process is the whole entire point.

• 13:24Speaker 06

  It's the part that actually, I mean, I'm sure you feel, it's the part where you actually get that charge, you're like, oh, oh. You know, I mean, obviously we do live performance, so some part of it is that. But there's the moment of conception and like discovery of like, oh, that's funny, or that's good.

• 13:41Speaker 07

  Yeah, and the work is the point. It's like, you shouldn't, yeah, AI can sit down and write you a book. It doesn't, if, that's the thing that I think we, we got obsessed with outcome and being like, I want to have written a book. And it's like, no, you need to want to write a book. Like, you don't, the outcome is not the important thing. An obsession with outcome is what leads to all these like process skipping maneuvers. You're just cheating yourself. You're cheating yourself out of like the beautiful experience of like being alive and doing things.

• 14:08Speaker 06

  You're a hundred percent right, because the, you know what else I get, now that I'm calmer, it's like, when I'm making something, it's like, wouldn't it be funny if this sucked?

• 14:17Speaker 07

  Yeah, and it would.

• 14:18Speaker 06

  It's like, wouldn't it be fierce if I sat here all day, at the end of the day, I listened to it or looked, and I was like, that was stupid.

• 14:26Speaker 06

  But that, on the older version of me, would have been wrecked by the idea of that.

• 14:30Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 14:31Speaker 06

  The, the answer in the closet is that I would do something and it wouldn't be good. And now it's like, who can check me, boo?

• 14:36Speaker 07

  And I did it.

• 14:36Speaker 06

  What if it sucks?

• 14:37Speaker 07

  And I still did it.

• 14:38Speaker 06

  Yeah, I still did it.

• 14:39Speaker 07

  Who cares?

• 14:40Speaker 06

  And you do gain something from the experience of trying to stack the jungle blocks and like, oh, they fell over, whatever. I mean, I just feel a lot better about that, where I used to feel so, lay in bed at night and like wreck myself about like, this better be good. This better be, impress your peers, this better be better than the last thing you did, this better make more money, whatever. It's like that, that, that's so anti the experience of like making.

• 15:04Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 15:05Speaker 06

  The making and the discovery is the fun part.

• 15:07Speaker 07

  So therapy's really working for you. What do you, I just got back in, what do you think I need to be working on? You know me. What do I need to work on in there? Don't say love and romance, I'm already doing that.

• 15:15Speaker 06

  I was gonna talk about your shoes.

• 15:22Speaker 06

  I'm sorry, does the devil wear Skechers?

• 15:24Speaker 07

  Trixie? Skechers? Bitch, you are a nasty, mean spirited individual. You know damn well you've never seen me in a pair of Skechers unless they wanna advertise on the show.

• 15:37Speaker 06

  Today's episode is brought to you by Skechers. Why are there two cameras?

• 15:40Speaker 07

  What do you mean?

• 15:41Speaker 06

  Which one's real?

• 15:42Speaker 07

  What, they're both real. We have to get two on you because you look so different from different angles. We're, we have two, there's, you notice how there's only one on me?

• 15:49Speaker 06

  Now, why are there two on me?

• 15:50Speaker 07

  I will tell you, it's because-

• 15:51Speaker 06

  Cause I'll bolt.

• 15:51Speaker 07

  When light hits your head,

• 15:55Speaker 07

  we never know where it's gonna refract and it could take one of those cameras out.

• 15:58Speaker 06

  I know. I almost wore a hat today and I was like, you know what, like, I'm Caleb's, your head of hair is so gorgeous. I was like, it's kind of like, you say potato, I say potato, we're kind of doing opposites.

• 16:08Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 16:09Speaker 06

  Do you like bald, bald bottoms who cross dress?

• 16:11Speaker 07

  Of course.

• 16:13Speaker 06

  I don't believe you.

• 16:15Speaker 07

  I don't thi- no, but I mean, like-

• 16:17Speaker 06

  You literally just went like, of course.

• 16:19Speaker 07

  Of course. No, Trixie, I don't, but guess what? I like you.

• 16:23Speaker 06

  Thank you.

• 16:23Speaker 07

  Someone put some sweet music under that.

• 16:25Speaker 06

  See, I don't, I'm, well, I'm the same way. I don't have a type. I'm, I'm open to everything. None of my boyfriends have ever looked like each other.

• 16:31Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 16:32Speaker 06

  There's no blueprint. I don't, I think that's one of the problems in gay dating, and we will get to you. I think one of the problems is, I think one of the problems is people are, people think they have a type, which is stupid, cause it means they just slam, dating wise, they slam doors shut for a living.

• 16:48Speaker 07

  I think people might have a type, Trixie.

• 16:51Speaker 07

  You don't, but I think some people really might. I don't either. I'm down with, I'm, I get into a lot of different kinds of stuff.

• 16:56Speaker 06

  I mean, I just saw a video of Ricky Martin being like, they were like, what's something people might know about you? And he was like, I have a foot fetish. And I was like, whoa Ricky, swinging big. And I think that stuff is cute, but I'm saying if someone's like, I only like tall guys, I only like older guy, it's, only of anything is so stupid.

• 17:12Speaker 07

  Only is silly to me. I will say, yeah, it's about energy, it's about different things. Also, you need,

• 17:17Speaker 06

  But I hate short guys.

• 17:18Speaker 07

  Casual sex, do you?

• 17:19Speaker 06

  Of course. Who, who doesn't?

• 17:21Speaker 07

  A short guy, no problem.

• 17:22Speaker 06

  What do we get? Life has fucked them.

• 17:23Speaker 07

  I'm not gonna marry a short guy.

• 17:26Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 17:26Speaker 07

  I'll sleep with a short guy. Yeah, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna have you running around my house down there.

• 17:31Speaker 06

  Well, everyone is the, it sounds really horish, but everyone's the same height laying down.

• 17:36Speaker 06

  So horish, but it's true.

• 17:38Speaker 07

  Of course it sounds horish, that was horrible.

• 17:39Speaker 06

  It's true.

• 17:40Speaker 07

  That's not true.

• 17:41Speaker 06

  There is some lies that are being perpetuated by the media, the mainstream media, which is that, um, scrawny guys have huge dicks.

• 17:47Speaker 07

  A lot of them do.

• 17:49Speaker 06

  No, no, no, it's about proportion.

• 17:51Speaker 07

  Oh.

• 17:52Speaker 06

  When the dick picture, yeah, if you have a 26 inch waist.

• 17:54Speaker 07

  Right, your dick's gonna look huge.

• 17:56Speaker 06

  Wow, the dick is huge.

• 17:57Speaker 07

  I will say being fat is not helping my situation. I already have a small to average dick, and then I'm, I'm huge, and so it just looks ridiculous. But you know-

• 18:04Speaker 06

  Cause there is some encroaching on, on the length, right? Like, like when people lose their game weight, there is-

• 18:11Speaker 07

  Oh, sure.

• 18:12Speaker 06

  Right.

• 18:12Speaker 07

  Yeah, your dick seems bigger when you get smaller. It's an optical illusion is what it is.

• 18:17Speaker 06

  But that's the thing, the dick is always the same size.

• 18:19Speaker 07

  No, you think?

• 18:20Speaker 06

  The, the instrument is the same. We're talking about your body in relation to the whole story of it.

• 18:25Speaker 07

  When you're really thin, it just looks bigger.

• 18:27Speaker 06

  Right.

• 18:28Speaker 07

  But also, Trixie, a lot of those guys just are hung like a horse and it's crazy. What are you doing with all that dick? It's cra- some of the skinniest guys in the world have brought dicks out that I'm like, you, first of all, put it back, there's nothing happening with it. And second of all, how did that happen? Why do you need that?

• 18:43Speaker 06

  Well, but, but I guess everybody could have a big dick though. There is no rule, that's what I'm saying, these are onlys.

• 18:50Speaker 07

  Yeah. A lot of people can't have big dicks, but skinny guys really do, it's crazy.

• 18:53Speaker 06

  Have you read that video of Jasmine Masters talking about big dicks?

• 18:55Speaker 07

  No.

• 18:56Speaker 06

  Can I play it?

• 18:56Speaker 07

  No, I don't, wouldn't care about it.

• 19:00Speaker 06

  Let's just take a break.

• 19:02Speaker 07

  I really hurt your feelings just then.

• 19:04Speaker 06

  She has a video for like, like, she has PSAs for every body type, being like, the skinny boys have the big dick, the big boys have the big dick. So it's all about like perception.

• 19:13Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 19:14Speaker 06

  If your algorithm serves you, Jasmine Masters saying that big, big boys have big dicks.

• 19:17Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 19:18Speaker 06

  Then maybe that's what you were looking for.

• 19:20Speaker 07

  Right.

• 19:20Speaker 06

  It's a little bit like a Rorschach.

• 19:21Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 19:22Speaker 06

  Jasmine Masters is a Rorschach.

• 19:23Speaker 07

  What do you see?

• 19:24Speaker 06

  What do you see?

• 19:24Speaker 07

  If you see big dick.

• 19:26Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 19:26Speaker 07

  That's what you wanted.

• 19:27Speaker 06

  What do you think you want from therapy?

• 19:29Speaker 07

  Cause obviously you went back. Haven't answered what you think I need to be working on in therapy.

• 19:33Speaker 06

  I mean-

• 19:34Speaker 07

  Turn it back on me. You know me, what do you think?

• 19:36Speaker 06

  To be honest, you just, you seem like one of the like, the sweetest, most like well-adjusted people I know.

• 19:42Speaker 07

  That's really sweet, and people are not going to believe that. People, yeah, people on the internet have opinions about me, but-

• 19:47Speaker 06

  But I find it, I find it interesting that you're so famous, especially now, and you still seem like you don't care. In a good way.

• 19:57Speaker 07

  You're talking about my shoes again?

• 19:59Speaker 06

  No.

• 20:01Speaker 06

  I'm not talking about the shoes again because we covered it.

• 20:04Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 20:06Speaker 06

  I think the shoes have been through enough.

• 20:07Speaker 07

  Yeah, they've seen too much as it is.

• 20:10Speaker 06

  Meanwhile, I this is what I show up in, which is the absence of choosing any clothing options at all.

• 20:14Speaker 07

  You look great.

• 20:15Speaker 06

  I look like a sim.

• 20:16Speaker 07

  You do. But a very cute sim. I love this outfit.

• 20:19Speaker 06

  Just got out of jail.

• 20:19Speaker 07

  I love when I open Instagram.

• 20:22Speaker 06

  And this is the outfit they gave me to leave in.

• 20:23Speaker 07

  You just walked out of the gate. No jewelry. Yeah.

• 20:26Speaker 06

  The Ora ring.

• 20:27Speaker 07

  I love you do have the Ora ring. I love when I open up Instagram and you're wearing like Oakleys and lime green gym shorts or something. I'm like, that's my favorite drag queen.

• 20:34Speaker 06

  I dress like you don't know where I was on January 6th.

• 20:38Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 20:38Speaker 06

  No, you do.

• 20:39Speaker 07

  You dress like we do. Yeah.

• 20:41Speaker 06

  But you know what, though? It's all about I forget what the word is. I was at the Beyonce Cowboy Carter concert and I had my big Oakleys on with like camo hat with like America flag shirt. And the Beyonce stage was a big America flag and I took it like this. And if you did not know where I was and who I was.

• 20:56Speaker 07

  Trump rally.

• 20:56Speaker 06

  Of course. But I'm a drag queen at Cowboy Carter. But if you were just swiping, you'd be like, oh.

• 21:02Speaker 07

  Scared, really scared.

• 21:04Speaker 06

  But I really think because you're so beloved and so famous and so successful, you really treat all of this like you. It's not it doesn't. It's like a non-event for you, which I find is very impressive.

• 21:16Speaker 07

  Well, don't you think it doesn't kind of matter? It doesn't really matter.

• 21:19Speaker 06

  Even you thinking that is something that some of us take years to think to get there.

• 21:24Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 21:25Speaker 06

  It doesn't matter.

• 21:26Speaker 07

  It doesn't matter. And I do feel that way. I'm like, it simply does not matter. It's something that's happening to me right now. Wonderful. But it's like life, the exciting things about life would be the same regardless of if my life was going this way or not. Like the beautiful things about life are available to everybody. And they're they're not like the things about my job that are exciting. The beautiful things about life are still like seeing your friends, beautiful sunsets, going on a bike ride, making dinner. Like, I don't know. I just feel like my I love my job. I'm very grateful for my life. I love that I get to like travel and do and say my stupid opinions for a living, but I'm like, it kind of doesn't matter.

• 22:00Speaker 06

  Have you ever had a crisis, like an artistic crisis, like a crisis of faith about like, what am I doing?

• 22:05Speaker 07

  Not a crisis. I I wonder what I'm gonna do next. Right now I'm in kind of a moment of like, I'm this year, last year was all about making stuff. I was made a bunch of stuff. And then this year I was giving myself permission to like not go on tour, just kind of put these movies out.

• 22:18Speaker 06

  That's right. You came on my YouTube channel and you were plugging your tour. And then I saw you next. I was like, how's your tour? You're like, didn't go.

• 22:23Speaker 07

  Didn't do it.

• 22:24Speaker 06

  Love it.

• 22:24Speaker 07

  Didn't do it. Not going.

• 22:26Speaker 06

  But that's the level of who cares.

• 22:28Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 22:28Speaker 06

  That is, I think, is pretty fierce. I don't know if your reps think that's fierce when you're like, never mind.

• 22:33Speaker 07

  They do not. They do not. I have the most patient and beleaguered team in America.

• 22:38Speaker 06

  But have you ever had Katya on?

• 22:40Speaker 07

  No, she won't talk to me.

• 22:41Speaker 06

  Love.

• 22:41Speaker 07

  I'm not kidding. Katya Katya will not acknowledge me in any sense. Barely spoke to me when I came to your guys' show. Katya does not want anything to do with me and I have the utmost respect for her.

• 22:51Speaker 06

  We've had the same person shooting our podcast for like four or five years. And just last week, Katya asked what his phone number was.

• 23:00Speaker 06

  So.

• 23:00Speaker 07

  I have so much respect for her. We have I have asked her to come on the show. I have tried to hang out with her. It has not worked out.

• 23:06Speaker 06

  But I'm saying she has a really similar, healthy point of view on, because this is the thing. It's one thing to be happy about what you get to do because we've reached wonderful career heights that, oh, my God, right? If you quit tomorrow, someday you'll be like, I did that. That's so crazy. But it's important to enjoy it presently because sometimes I used to feel like anything good that happened to me would only heighten my fear of what if it went away? Which is horrible because it completely occludes your ability to enjoy the present. And performing and being your best as an artist is all about the present. And don't you feel like even when you were doing stand up for a smaller crowd? You still could like hit that groove and hit that moment with the audience where you felt great.

• 23:46Speaker 07

  100%. And in some in some ways, things were easier. I think the thing with life that's important is that you look at everything that could happen to you, good or bad. And you go, what would it provide and what would it take away? Everything that happens to you in life provides and takes away. You get something, you lose something.

• 24:02Speaker 06

  Right.

• 24:03Speaker 07

  And so I think about this like that where I'm like, yeah, if this all stopped, if I didn't, if I wasn't making money talking anymore, or if I didn't get to be a working artist anymore. That would take away a lot of things that are very nice. And it would also provide things that are very nice, like peace and quiet. And you know what I mean?

• 24:16Speaker 06

  And boredom and seeing your family more.

• 24:19Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 24:19Speaker 06

  That's a big thing I think about as I get older is I'm like, wow, to be an artist and travel for like the last 10 plus years. At some point when I was young, without even realizing it, I kind of decided I'm only gonna see my mom, et cetera, a few times a year until they die. Which is a horrible thought.

• 24:37Speaker 07

  That's crazy.

• 24:38Speaker 06

  But it's different than prioritizing. I could never have that career because it's really important to me to live down the street from my family or something.

• 24:43Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 24:43Speaker 06

  We all are choosing things and unchoosing something else.

• 24:47Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 24:47Speaker 06

  So you're 100% right that if you start playing that game of what you're missing or what you could be missing, but you know what I learned in therapy and this changed my life.

• 24:54Speaker 07

  Tell me.

• 24:55Speaker 06

  Anxiety is not about what could happen. It's about what has happened.

• 24:59Speaker 07

  Hmm.

• 25:01Speaker 06

  You think, what if this happens? Because your system, your somatic system, your fight or flight, all that remembers things that have happened. So you're having these physical responses that to you don't make sense. You're like, why am I panicking at the grocery store? But something about your body remembers something that happened before that was bad. And so it thinks something is about to happen. But that's not based in fact. Your system is just reacting. We all are like writing Linux, you know, Mac, Windows, iOS, whatever. We're writing our operating systems while we're like sucking our thumbs.

• 25:35Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 25:35Speaker 06

  Which is why later in life, when we have reactions to things we don't understand.

• 25:40Speaker 06

  It's all makes sense. When you say, I don't understand that, that doesn't make any sense. It surely does make sense.

• 25:46Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 25:47Speaker 06

  It all makes sense. And then I think you get more sympathy for other people because when somebody else has a reaction they don't understand or shows their ass, you're like, we're all just fucking lizard brains. Slumming into each other, having having having reactions we can't explain.

• 26:02Speaker 07

  Have I asked you about God before on the show?

• 26:04Speaker 06

  It's all you talk about.

• 26:05Speaker 07

  I know. I talk about it all the time.

• 26:07Speaker 06

  Do you mean Alanis?

• 26:08Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 26:09Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 26:09Speaker 07

  What's your favorite song?

• 26:10Speaker 06

  By Alanis?

• 26:11Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 26:13Speaker 07

  Thank you, India. That one? Thank you?

• 26:16Speaker 06

  No. Oh, I love.

• 26:17Speaker 07

  Hand in my pocket?

• 26:18Speaker 06

  All I Really Want.

• 26:19Speaker 07

  What'd you say?

• 26:19Speaker 06

  All I Really Want.

• 26:20Speaker 07

  Great song.

• 26:22Speaker 06

  It's a great song. It's so repetitive in the best way. And.

• 26:27Speaker 07

  Don't worry about that.

• 26:28Speaker 06

  That's God.

• 26:29Speaker 07

  Don't worry about that. That's God. That's Alanis.

• 26:30Speaker 06

  Um.

• 26:31Speaker 07

  She's up there. Giving a handjob.

• 26:33Speaker 06

  The 10 year anniversary of Jagged Little Pill is the 2005 release where it's all acoustic. And that version of All I Really Want is all orchestra and it's it's it's very turned.

• 26:41Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 26:41Speaker 06

  Really love her.

• 26:42Speaker 07

  What do you think about actual God? Do you have? Do you have a religion? I don't know. I don't know if I've ever asked you.

• 26:46Speaker 06

  I wasn't raised religious at all.

• 26:47Speaker 07

  Really?

• 26:48Speaker 06

  At all.

• 26:48Speaker 07

  Wow.

• 26:49Speaker 06

  So I have no, everything about it is.

• 26:55Speaker 06

  It's like me watching religious people was like me watching Simone Biles do backflips. It just seems like. Humans are wacky and that's crazy.

• 27:05Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 27:05Speaker 06

  And weird.

• 27:06Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 27:08Speaker 06

  Shout out to Simone Biles. I don't mean, I don't think you're weird, but I mean, it seems like.

• 27:10Speaker 07

  It's crazy that that's something you're dedicating your time to is doing so many flips.

• 27:14Speaker 06

  It's a stretch of like a human, you know, I think all different cultures who before the telephone, the internet, didn't even know about each other. All developed their own little religions. And so I do think there's something in us that gets something out of believing in God. And I think that that instinct is beautiful, which is why I like.

• 27:36Speaker 06

  Not Christian music. I like old folk music that talks about God and stuff because I think it's a beautiful instinct.

• 27:43Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 27:43Speaker 06

  But I don't believe in it.

• 27:44Speaker 07

  No.

• 27:45Speaker 06

  Is that bad?

• 27:46Speaker 07

  Not at all. Is that so? You're saying no God?

• 27:48Speaker 06

  I'm I don't believe in it. I'm not saying there's no God.

• 27:50Speaker 07

  Right, right. You're saying you don't believe in God.

• 27:52Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 27:52Speaker 07

  What do you think happens when we die?

• 27:55Speaker 07

  You're so zen and so peaceful. I'm really interested in like what you think. What do you think happens after this?

• 28:00Speaker 06

  I think to believe that something better happens when we die is a complete slap in the face to the gift of being alive right now.

• 28:05Speaker 07

  You have told me this and I think that's beautiful.

• 28:07Speaker 06

  Like.

• 28:08Speaker 07

  I love that.

• 28:09Speaker 06

  We're here.

• 28:09Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 28:10Speaker 06

  You're like, when I die, it's gonna be so cunty. No, it isn't. To me, like, it's like believing in heaven, believing that when you die, everything's gonna get so fierce.

• 28:20Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 28:20Speaker 06

  Do you know who thinks that? People who hate you.

• 28:22Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 28:23Speaker 06

  When you die, it's gonna be fierce.

• 28:24Speaker 07

  Oh, it's gonna be amazing when you're not here. When you're not here, it's gonna be a fucking key.

• 28:28Speaker 06

  Right. Like when it happens, you know what I'm talking about?

• 28:30Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 28:31Speaker 06

  When it happens, that is gonna be fierce for me.

• 28:34Speaker 07

  It's gonna be amazing. I can't wait until that happens.

• 28:36Speaker 06

  Dancing in the street. I'm gonna be running naked. I'm gonna I'm gonna just go withdraw cash from the bank and run through the street like.

• 28:42Speaker 07

  Do you know what, though? I am gonna be sad.

• 28:44Speaker 06

  Why?

• 28:45Speaker 07

  I ju I said this recently when somebody evil died. I I do get sad about it and people accuse me of virtue signaling. I was this on Substack where they use bigger words to still be fucking annoying and dense. But I.

• 28:57Speaker 06

  Do you have a Substack?

• 28:58Speaker 07

  What? Oh, yeah. I love Substack.

• 28:59Speaker 06

  You do?

• 29:00Speaker 07

  I love Substack.

• 29:00Speaker 06

  Katya had it for a year and it was like, I felt like Bart Simpson writing on the chalkboard every day. Like, it was like, it was it was hard.

• 29:06Speaker 07

  I love it. I I love the writing on there. I think there's so many brilliant writers on there and there's so many artists I love who are using it in really interesting ways. My favorite Substack is actually Chance and I, our buddy Doyle runs a music review Substack called Night Swimming.

• 29:17Speaker 06

  Cool.

• 29:18Speaker 07

  He does new music every week that and he only does like review. He only reviews things that he likes. Um, and it's really, really, really fucking good. And it's how I find a lot of new music. I love Substack, but I posted on there that I. I do get sad even when a really evil person dies because I think life is so precious and beautiful and being alive is so special and amazing. And I can't believe that I get to be alive. I love it so much. And I'm so glad I'm alive at the same time as all of you. But yeah, when someone evil dies, I don't I actually, I think I used to feel joy. And as I've gotten older, I feel a real genuine sadness. Not like, oh, my gosh, I'm so sad that they're gone, but more like. I feel really sad because I'm like, oh, they really never figured it out. They spent their life being hateful and hurting people.

• 30:01Speaker 07

  And it makes me sad that they wasted their time on earth doing that. And it overcomes me, even if I feel joy that they're no longer in a position to do harm. I get immediately overcome with sadness that that is what they did. Do you know what I'm saying?

• 30:13Speaker 06

  I do. I do know what you're saying.

• 30:15Speaker 07

  And I really feel that way. And I feel in it. It isn't me being like, I'm too good to feel mad when an evil person dies. I'm just like, I feel sad.

• 30:23Speaker 06

  When my, this is maybe maybe too much, but when my stepdad died, who was horrible, it's, you know, terribly abusive, alcoholic, horrible, horrible. I would fan I'm fantasized about him dying every day for years, which is horrible. I mean, that's horrible to say, but when you're in like a real abusive cycle.

• 30:38Speaker 07

  Of course.

• 30:38Speaker 06

  You don't think that you can go to school and tell someone and it's gonna be over. You think you're it's a weird mind game where you like can't leave and you don't, you don't wanna, you know, it's crazy.

• 30:46Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 30:47Speaker 06

  And then when he finally did die, it was like, A, I felt all this guilt because I felt like I. I psychically made it happen because I wished it too much. And then also I felt like, wow, this is what we did with our time on planet earth, me and this person.

• 31:02Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 31:03Speaker 06

  And that can't be fixed now. It can't be changed. I don't even have the luxury of later having some resolution from it or. Some kind of apology. It just that was what it was and that's it. And I was surprised at the feeling you're saying, which is regret almost, like secondhand regret of like, that's what we did. That's what we did while we were here.

• 31:22Speaker 07

  And I think what would have been so much nicer is for that person to have. I mean, I can't say that for you. I'm not saying you would have felt this way, but I think in my position where people who have like done immense evil, I think what would have been nicer is for them to have an about face and like apologized and tried to make right and like, I think that would have been so much more pleasing than like them just dying evil and thinking they were right. Cause that's the thing is they die thinking they were right.

• 31:47Speaker 06

  Oh, it's fierce.

• 31:48Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 31:48Speaker 06

  It's fierce, especially, I mean, I don't really feel bad for conservatives when they die. Maybe you and I are different, but.

• 31:54Speaker 07

  No, a lot of people agree with you.

• 31:56Speaker 06

  I don't feel super bad. I feel.

• 31:59Speaker 07

  To be clear though, I don't feel bad for them. I just feel bad.

• 32:02Speaker 06

  Okay, I understand.

• 32:02Speaker 07

  There is a difference. I don't pity them. I don't feel sad for them. I'm not sad on their behalf. I don't wish that they were still here doing what they were doing. I just feel sad and it's more about me and us than it is about them. Does that make sense?

• 32:16Speaker 06

  It's more like a wasted life thing, a little bit.

• 32:19Speaker 07

  100%.

• 32:19Speaker 06

  Wasted purpose.

• 32:20Speaker 07

  It's pity almost.

• 32:21Speaker 06

  Yeah, that's us. Yes. Especially because so many of these like hateful thoughts are taught. It's like, damn bitch, if that same person would have been born in another family or something, they wouldn't have dedicated their whole life to this or whatever, you know? Cause I don't think anybody's born homophobic or anything like that, but then they get taught that and then they just walk around the world being crazy.

• 32:40Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 32:41Speaker 06

  I'm homophobic though.

• 32:43Speaker 07

  You are one of the most homophobic people I've ever.

• 32:44Speaker 06

  I am.

• 32:45Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 32:45Speaker 06

  That's the funny thing is conservatives and gay people, it's like, do you hate gay people? Because so do I.

• 32:50Speaker 07

  I know. And then while, and then so many of the Tinder queers are like, you're playing into their hand. And I'm like, I don't know. I think I'm being silly about my community and they're making laws. I think it's actually like, I think I can actually play around a little bit.

• 33:01Speaker 06

  Of course.

• 33:03Speaker 07

  Like I am homophobic, not.

• 33:04Speaker 06

  I am homophobic. Would I, would I, would I off myself right now to better the lives of gay people in a second?

• 33:10Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 33:11Speaker 06

  But.

• 33:12Speaker 07

  But they wear funny outfits.

• 33:16Speaker 06

  Why are they so in your face about it?

• 33:17Speaker 07

  Yeah, they're shoving it down our throats.

• 33:19Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 33:19Speaker 07

  Ideally.

• 33:20Speaker 06

  But maybe I think, I don't, I, on some ways I'm like end stage woke. I'm like stage four woke, but in a lot of ways, I like to make, I'm gonna make fun of queer people till I die.

• 33:30Speaker 07

  100%.

• 33:31Speaker 06

  It's just fun.

• 33:32Speaker 07

  I also.

• 33:32Speaker 06

  It's just fun.

• 33:34Speaker 07

  I, someone messaged me the other day and said, hey, can we either go on a date or can you buy me a car? And I actually really liked that. I almost bought them a car.

• 33:42Speaker 06

  Are you dating, are you dating now?

• 33:44Speaker 07

  Do what?

• 33:44Speaker 06

  You're dating right now?

• 33:45Speaker 07

  I am.

• 33:46Speaker 06

  That's the same person?

• 33:47Speaker 07

  No.

• 33:47Speaker 06

  Oh.

• 33:48Speaker 07

  I'm dating around.

• 33:49Speaker 06

  Oh, you're dating.

• 33:50Speaker 07

  I'm like in the process of dating.

• 33:52Speaker 06

  I love that. It's a game of numbers, you know? I know that's like kinda corny, but it's about keeping your options open. I always have a boyfriend. And I don't think I'm that great, but I do think.

• 34:01Speaker 07

  Shut up bitch, don't piss me off.

• 34:03Speaker 06

  No, but I'm not some kind of like.

• 34:04Speaker 07

  You're like one of the biggest catch in the universe.

• 34:06Speaker 06

  But I'm not some kind of like, the second I'm single, come out, come out, wherever you are. It's not that. I just think I'm, I'm open.

• 34:16Speaker 07

  What do you mean?

• 34:17Speaker 06

  Open to ideas, open to different thoughts, open to possibilities.

• 34:20Speaker 07

  And you're a huge catch. Admit that.

• 34:24Speaker 06

  I get caught, so yeah.

• 34:26Speaker 07

  Thank you. I'll, I'll take it. We got there.

• 34:27Speaker 06

  I get caught.

• 34:28Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 34:29Speaker 06

  You know, and when I got my pernubos skin, you know what else they found? My pussy.

• 34:33Speaker 07

  Trixie.

• 34:34Speaker 06

  And it was big.

• 34:34Speaker 07

  It was in there the whole time?

• 34:35Speaker 06

  I, I pulled it out. I put it on the counter and we weighed it and it was.

• 34:38Speaker 07

  Slapped it down and it was heavy?

• 34:40Speaker 06

  It was very Dr. Pimple Popper.

• 34:41Speaker 07

  Yeah, okay. Go ahead. No, don't back off of it.

• 34:45Speaker 06

  Do you remember in the show, whenever she removes stuff, she shows it to them? That I think is so over the line. Cause she'll cut out that nerf ball on their back and be like,

• 34:53Speaker 07

  I'm about to.

• 34:53Speaker 06

  She makes them look at it.

• 34:54Speaker 07

  I'm about to get a tonsillectomy and I wanna keep the tonsils.

• 34:56Speaker 06

  Hunky.

• 34:57Speaker 07

  Tell me about your tonsillectomy.

• 34:58Speaker 06

  Okay, I was 19.

• 34:59Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 35:00Speaker 06

  I was in school and I was having some problems with singing, still do. Um, and they, they were looking at my throat and they said, God, they're so big. Let's just remove them. And hurt so bad.

• 35:10Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 35:11Speaker 06

  But it was a week of like, you don't realize how many small, tiny, smooth muscles are there until every micro movement hurts.

• 35:19Speaker 07

  This is what everyone says.

• 35:19Speaker 06

  Yawning was some of the worst pain I ever felt.

• 35:21Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 35:22Speaker 06

  When you're stitched up back there and you accidentally yawn, I like saw stars from the pain.

• 35:27Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 35:28Speaker 06

  So bad.

• 35:29Speaker 07

  That's what everyone says.

• 35:29Speaker 06

  You're gonna be fine.

• 35:31Speaker 07

  No, everyone says it's the worst thing that's ever happened to them.

• 35:33Speaker 06

  It was, it's the worst adult pain I've probably ever felt. Yeah.

• 35:36Speaker 07

  They say you need a day for every year you've been alive to recover. I'm 31.

• 35:41Speaker 06

  Fuck.

• 35:41Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 35:42Speaker 06

  But you know what though? You could go in a hyperbaric chamber.

• 35:44Speaker 07

  Pardon?

• 35:45Speaker 06

  It's that thing where you get the like higher percentage of oxygen and it helps accelerate healing. They have that in LA you could do.

• 35:52Speaker 07

  I, well, how long would you stay in there?

• 35:54Speaker 06

  Um, you just get in there for like an hour. I've never done it, but when I got, um, I recently had my third hemorrhoid removal.

• 36:02Speaker 07

  Why are they, how are they getting?

• 36:04Speaker 06

  Which is a lot like your throat. It's reverse.

• 36:05Speaker 07

  Do the hemorrhoids need to be removed? I thought they just kinda went away on their own.

• 36:08Speaker 06

  At a certain point, they're squatters. They need to be like, they need to be, it's like, my hemorrhoids are like hippies who chain themselves to trees. Like they are not going out without a fight.

• 36:19Speaker 07

  They're not going, they're just gonna stay?

• 36:21Speaker 06

  If I have like, you know, Google tell me one more time that just give it a few weeks, your body will resolve it on its own.

• 36:27Speaker 07

  Well, stop asking her. You clearly have a special situation with your hemorrhoids.

• 36:30Speaker 06

  Oh, me and my, my lovely proctologist who I've seen for 10 years, me calling, hey, it's me again. I don't even say my name. They know who I am. They know what's going on.

• 36:39Speaker 07

  I know she's got her fucking work cut out for her.

• 36:41Speaker 06

  They know what's going on.

• 36:41Speaker 07

  Being your proctologist is not, not an easy job. Micro dirty jobs.

• 36:44Speaker 06

  It's, it's, it's awful. But that, that takes a while. Cause again, it's a, your throat and your butthole is a smooth muscle that does a lot of this. So the process of everything is just, it's an area that you want to heal fast, this.

• 36:58Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 36:58Speaker 06

  And it's not gonna feel as fast as you want.

• 37:00Speaker 07

  No, everyone's saying it's really, really bad.

• 37:02Speaker 06

  The eating sucks.

• 37:04Speaker 07

  I've had strep seven times this year. And that's worse.

• 37:07Speaker 06

  Sucks.

• 37:08Speaker 07

  Eating, I'm not, you can't like eat for, it's gonna be horrible.

• 37:10Speaker 06

  It's gonna be a lot of ice water. It's gonna be a lot of milkshakes. They're gonna give you things for the pain, like steroids and stuff, and you're gonna think you're so much better and then it's worse.

• 37:20Speaker 07

  Oh, they're gonna give me, I'll tell you what they're giving me for the pain. What, the highest fucking concentration. I, I want the strongest pain meds you can fucking think of. I'm scared of them. I'm gonna try not to take them, but from what I've heard, I will need them.

• 37:32Speaker 06

  Oh yeah, cause you don't even drink.

• 37:33Speaker 07

  I don't, I don't really drink. I'm not smoking weed anymore.

• 37:35Speaker 06

  You should start drinking for that.

• 37:37Speaker 07

  I'm off weed and soda right now. I'm off weed and soda. You have no idea what this has done to me. I'm not having Dr. Pepper anymore. I'm gonna cry. I'm gonna cry. I'm not having Dr. Pepper right now.

• 37:48Speaker 06

  What about Mr. Pibb?

• 37:48Speaker 07

  No, none of it. Not even Diet Coke, not Coke Zero, not mug root beer, not Sprite.

• 37:54Speaker 06

  Can you drink Perrier? Like sparkling water?

• 37:56Speaker 07

  Why would I do that? Sorry, I don't like them. Sparkling water makes me mad and I'm obviously lashing out at you right now. It's not about you.

• 38:02Speaker 06

  Right.

• 38:03Speaker 07

  I'm feeling fucked up from being off soda and I'm missing weed as well, but I had a crazy panic attack and I saw through the universe and I had to stop.

• 38:13Speaker 07

  This episode is brought to you by Hinge. Look, dating can be a goddamn nightmare. It can be a daunting and difficult thing to navigate, but thankfully our friends at Hinge are here to help. Hinge is the dating app designed to be, you guessed it, deleted. It's for people dating with intention, going on dates, putting themselves out there. Hinge is designed for finding connections. What makes Hinge the ideal dating app is its user-friendly layout and its interactive prompts feature that allow you to ask potential suitors questions or pick topics to get the conversation going without the awkward ice breaking phase. What we hear is so true, the whole team love the most about Hinge and we're always bringing this up,

• 38:50Speaker 07

  has got to be the signals feature, which allows you to see what profiles thoughtfully engage with their matches. I mean, who doesn't love thoughtful engagement?

• 39:01Speaker 07

  For anyone who might need a little assistance when it comes to making their profile pop, Hinge has just released their new friends take feature that lets you invite the people who know you best to contribute short, authentic reflections directly to your profile via text, voice, video and photos. Chance, why don't you give them a reflection for me, for my Hinge profile?

• 39:19Speaker 06

  For you?

• 39:20Speaker 07

  Yeah, well, give them, you, you know me best. Give them a reflection of me.

• 39:23Speaker 06

  Oh wow. A great smile and he always picks up the check.

• 39:27Speaker 07

  That's actually, yeah, that's actually really nice. Oh, actually Nicole Clip does send that to me. Next time you're looking to make a connection, do us a favor and give Hinge a try. You know those pieces in your closet that you find yourself wearing on repeat? The sweater that goes with everything, the perfect pair of pants or the tee you somehow always reach for first? Those are the pieces that make getting dressed easy and that's what Quince does best. Quince focuses on high quality wardrobe staples made with premium materials like 100% Mongolian cashmere, organic cotton and merino wool. The styles are timeless, versatile and designed to become the dependable pieces you reach for day after day. Their 100% Mongolian cashmere sweater start at just $60, giving you the softness and quality you'd expect from a luxury brand without the luxury price tag,

• 40:08Speaker 07

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• 40:50Speaker 07

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• 41:29Speaker 07

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• 42:51Speaker 06

  I've been monogamous for a couple of years now.

• 42:54Speaker 07

  Have you?

• 42:55Speaker 06

  And it's, to me, it's been, it's been great.

• 42:58Speaker 07

  You've been monogamous, but all you ever do is flirt with me when we collab. It's so sick. And you're telling me I need to work on my relationship to men?

• 43:03Speaker 06

  Cause flirting isn't cheating.

• 43:05Speaker 07

  Yes, it is.

• 43:08Speaker 06

  No, it's how you respond. Yeah, it is.

• 43:11Speaker 07

  No, it's not. I'm kidding.

• 43:12Speaker 06

  It's not flirting. But if I say you have nice hair and you're a nice person, maybe it's something, why can't someone give you a compliment? Whether your brain going to, wants me, wants to fuck me?

• 43:20Speaker 07

  You do want me.

• 43:22Speaker 06

  But if you think that about everyone, and then you're, and then you're having a lot of sex, maybe you think that any kind of, men having any kind of positivity toward you is like, well, this is about this.

• 43:31Speaker 07

  Well, that's not true. Chance is positive towards me all the time. I wouldn't touch him with a 30 foot pole.

• 43:34Speaker 06

  He hates you.

• 43:34Speaker 07

  Chance loves me.

• 43:35Speaker 06

  I pulled in the parking lot, he opened my car door.

• 43:38Speaker 07

  He's scared of me.

• 43:39Speaker 06

  Didn't have any coffee for me, by the way. And he goes, I hate Caleb. I said, girl, me too.

• 43:43Speaker 07

  Totally. By the way, coffee's not his fault. That's Michelle. So if you're gonna get mad at somebody, get mad at Michelle. She's going through something right now. We're working on it. She's had a really terrible time with time zones and coffees lately. She's just, she's comfortable. Everyone who works for me, everyone who works for me is too comfortable. I'm genuinely.

• 43:59Speaker 06

  Like this over there.

• 44:00Speaker 07

  I'm too kind. I'm too kind.

• 44:02Speaker 06

  You can't do that. You know, Katya and I, recently, we, we've been balancing, we want to have an environment where everybody, we all have fun.

• 44:10Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 44:10Speaker 06

  But also.

• 44:11Speaker 07

  That's what I've done for these guys.

• 44:12Speaker 06

  We are making a show.

• 44:13Speaker 07

  That's what I've done for these guys.

• 44:14Speaker 06

  I ain't, now, now, like, when we walk in, the cameras gotta be ready. The air conditioning gotta be on. We gotta do this.

• 44:20Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 44:20Speaker 06

  Right?

• 44:20Speaker 07

  They're too comfortable. They're too comfortable. You can't find good help anymore. They're too comfortable. They don't have your coffee ready. But Chance, I will say, despite, you know, does he do anything for the money he gets? I don't think so, or I don't see it. Does he love me? Deep down, yes. I know that he does.

• 44:36Speaker 06

  It's true. He also has fabulous hair, though, so it kind of feels like that's what you guys do here.

• 44:40Speaker 07

  Doesn't he look handsome and he keeps it tight, though?

• 44:41Speaker 06

  It's gorgeous. You invite bald people on here.

• 44:44Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 44:45Speaker 06

  And you all do your Pantene Pro V commercial shit.

• 44:48Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 44:49Speaker 06

  And it's fucked.

• 44:50Speaker 07

  Yeah, it's really fucked up.

• 44:51Speaker 06

  It's fucked.

• 44:52Speaker 07

  It's really fucked up.

• 44:52Speaker 06

  You know what the best part is? I'm at this age now where all my gay friends are getting transplants. And they're all have maybe the hair loss that maybe you have, if you have any.

• 45:03Speaker 07

  I do. It's, there's a bald spot back here and my hairline's pushing back.

• 45:05Speaker 06

  Okay, they maybe have, maybe, maybe as much as you, but even less. And they say things like, oh my God, I feel like I want to kill myself. And I go, oh, you do?

• 45:13Speaker 07

  If they were like you.

• 45:14Speaker 06

  Because if you were bald, would that be horrible?

• 45:16Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 45:17Speaker 06

  I was doing this, uh, I was doing this, I was watching this, this DJ set online and they were playing vinyl. I like to watch the people, I don't play vinyl, but I like to watch the people who do. I think it's cool. And they had an overhead cam and this guy reached over to change records and he had just the tiniest little Sacagawea coin of skin visible. And somebody in the room goes, oh my God, did you see that? I would be so pissed. I said, what? They said, they just showed his bald spot. I would be so pissed. And I was like, oh, would you be pissed? Would you be really pissed off?

• 45:43Speaker 07

  You don't even have a bald spot. It's just your whole head.

• 45:45Speaker 06

  That's what I'm saying.

• 45:46Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 45:46Speaker 06

  I'm at the point where when I wash my face, I go back to here.

• 45:49Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 45:50Speaker 06

  And when I wash, when I use shampoo, I'm doing it to the upper lip.

• 45:53Speaker 07

  It's cause it's hard to tell where it stops and starts.

• 45:54Speaker 06

  It's all, this is no man's land. This is that area where you can stand in four states.

• 45:59Speaker 07

  Yes. It's like maritime law. It's like no one knows how to govern.

• 46:04Speaker 06

  I take.

• 46:05Speaker 07

  If someone got killed on your forehead, we don't know whose jurisdiction it would be.

• 46:07Speaker 06

  I, I, I take my, my, uh, my Noxzema.

• 46:10Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 46:10Speaker 06

  And my head and shoulders, and I mix it together and I do this whole area.

• 46:13Speaker 07

  Just a one fell swoop.

• 46:14Speaker 06

  Who knows? You get into men's grooming, you probably have nice products.

• 46:18Speaker 07

  Oh, no. I don't, I don't, I don't do, I don't have a skincare routine. And I use, uh, the other day I got a haircut from a new guy here in LA. And he came to my hotel room. He's cut my hair. He goes, what product do you use? I go, oh, crew fiber. He goes, damn, old school. He was like, on, he was like, he was like embarrassed for me that that was my product.

• 46:35Speaker 06

  Crew fiber, I feel like, does work, though.

• 46:36Speaker 07

  It just, I love, I also, I will say, I can't, I love my little bald spot. I love my fucked up teeth. I love that they're a little yellow. I love that one's pushed back. I like that my hairline's pushing back. I like, I am like, I don't want to get any work done.

• 46:50Speaker 06

  So why are you going to therapy?

• 46:52Speaker 07

  Therapy?

• 46:52Speaker 06

  If you love yourself so much.

• 46:54Speaker 07

  That's internal work.

• 46:55Speaker 06

  Right.

• 46:55Speaker 07

  There's some stuff in there that might need to be worked on. Physically, I think I'm completely gorgeous. I love the way I look. And I'm excited to get older. I'm starting to get gray hairs and I'm starting to get wrinkles. I'm excited about both of them, Trixie. I did, though, the other day, well, this is actually a couple of months ago now. I Google, I started to Google, am I a love and sex addict? And I typed in, am I a LO? And it auto populated, am I a LO's rewards member? And I laughed so hard that I stopped looking into it. Didn't look any further.

• 47:21Speaker 06

  Were you?

• 47:22Speaker 07

  What, a LO's rewards member? No. But I also want to, I want to know who is so confused about that.

• 47:27Speaker 06

  Uh, well, I'm a rewards member, motherfucker. I don't buy anything anywhere without signing up for the loyalty program.

• 47:31Speaker 07

  I know.

• 47:32Speaker 06

  My email inbox is a wreck.

• 47:33Speaker 07

  You're famously the only person on this show who's ever insisted on getting their money from the True Fall segment.

• 47:38Speaker 06

  Still haven't got it. Wait, I did get it.

• 47:40Speaker 07

  You got it.

• 47:40Speaker 06

  I did get it. Did get it. Thank you for that. If that's coming, I'm gonna win again.

• 47:44Speaker 07

  It's gonna happen this episode and I don't think you're gonna win. And if you do, you're not getting paid.

• 47:48Speaker 06

  But the funny thing is you talked to Mateo about it, didn't you?

• 47:50Speaker 07

  Yeah, I talked to Mateo Lane. Shit on you in public, yeah.

• 47:52Speaker 06

  Oh, like, what, and, and what is she? Miss UNICEF? She just does all her shows for free? Nobody gets paid in this industry?

• 47:58Speaker 07

  Mateo?

• 47:58Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 47:59Speaker 07

  Mateo would never like rake a dear friend over the coals for 50 bucks.

• 48:03Speaker 06

  But Mateo might also not tell someone they're gonna get money and then not give it to them.

• 48:06Speaker 07

  Cut that.

• 48:09Speaker 06

  I love, he is so fun. Again, another embarrassment of richest person. So handsome, so funny, can sing. You know, he also can draw.

• 48:16Speaker 07

  He also speaks like 18 languages. He can cook. What he needs to do is leave us all the fuck alone.

• 48:19Speaker 06

  I just was at a bookstore yesterday, or two days ago. Elliot Glazer launched his book and I went to go do his, um, talk back. He's so, so fun and sweet. And he, um, I saw Mateo's book sitting there called, like, You're Cooking Your Pasta Wrong or something.

• 48:31Speaker 07

  Yeah, he's like shirtless in an apron.

• 48:32Speaker 06

  I was like, whatever.

• 48:33Speaker 07

  And by the way, he's the sweetest person alive. I'm having Mateo Lane fatigue where I'm like, you need to leave us alone.

• 48:39Speaker 06

  I know.

• 48:40Speaker 07

  You have it all, bitch.

• 48:41Speaker 06

  And I just saw him, he's on Broadway, playing Billy Flynn.

• 48:44Speaker 07

  Which he was fabulous in, by the way. I got to go see the show. He was in Chicago with Krista Rodriguez, friend of the show.

• 48:49Speaker 06

  I love Krista Rodriguez.

• 48:50Speaker 07

  They were fabulous together.

• 48:51Speaker 06

  I've never met her.

• 48:52Speaker 07

  Bro, theater people are fucking hero. I don't know how they do it. I'm not doing it.

• 48:56Speaker 06

  Jinx, jinx, doing all these serious, serious singing movement roles.

• 49:03Speaker 07

  18,000 shows a week. They get seven cents and a handshake.

• 49:06Speaker 06

  The way Katya and I, uh, when we're on tour and we have like four a week, the way we have suicide packs.

• 49:11Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 49:11Speaker 06

  Like, you don't understand. The way we.

• 49:13Speaker 07

  You guys barely do anything up there.

• 49:14Speaker 06

  Nothing. Oh my God, we do the pod live and recently one of my friends came and said, I, I, you guys were great. I wish you guys would have done a show, though.

• 49:23Speaker 07

  Live podcasting.

• 49:23Speaker 06

  Valid. So valid.

• 49:25Speaker 07

  Clock, clock.

• 49:26Speaker 06

  Two chairs, but I always, Katya will be like, she'll get so nervous that we don't do anything during the show. And I'll be like, they're coming to the pod.

• 49:33Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 49:33Speaker 06

  These people have watched us through the pod for years. They know what they're coming to see. And she's like, okay, but should we do a number? I'm like, no.

• 49:39Speaker 07

  I actually.

• 49:39Speaker 06

  Not doing a number.

• 49:40Speaker 07

  I need to take that pressure off myself. I'm, I'm in the Katya camp of like, I, I feel, I feel like I'm never doing enough for the audience. Because I can't believe that people are paying money from their job that they worked to come and see me. But I'm like, we gotta add a, we gotta add something else. We gotta have a pyrotechnic show. We gotta.

• 49:57Speaker 06

  Whip up my nut.

• 49:58Speaker 07

  I gotta do something.

• 49:59Speaker 06

  Right.

• 49:59Speaker 07

  Yeah, I don't think they want to see my nutsack. And maybe some of them do.

• 50:01Speaker 06

  Do you ever do PowerPoints? Katya and I have been doing power, shitty PowerPoints that we make day of. That's been really fun.

• 50:06Speaker 07

  I know. I was in your Kansas City one.

• 50:08Speaker 06

  Oh, yes.

• 50:08Speaker 07

  You mentioned me in it. Not nearly enough. Yeah, you put me as like a very small role towards the end of the presentation, which just felt like you're in my hometown. I like taking you out to lunch. It feels like I could have been.

• 50:18Speaker 06

  You think it was Paola?

• 50:19Speaker 07

  Yeah, I just think you could have done a little more for me.

• 50:21Speaker 06

  Maybe you could have, I, I think I was recasting Wicked and maybe you could have filled in for, cause AOC was Elphaba.

• 50:27Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 50:27Speaker 06

  So maybe you should have been Elphaba.

• 50:28Speaker 07

  He could have brought me out or something.

• 50:29Speaker 06

  Fuck AOC, right?

• 50:31Speaker 07

  What?

• 50:32Speaker 06

  That's what you said, kind of.

• 50:33Speaker 07

  What'd you say?

• 50:33Speaker 06

  What did you say?

• 50:34Speaker 07

  What are you saying?

• 50:35Speaker 06

  What do you think I said?

• 50:36Speaker 07

  Do you want her to run for president?

• 50:37Speaker 06

  Of course.

• 50:38Speaker 07

  Really?

• 50:39Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah.

• 50:39Speaker 07

  Nice.

• 50:40Speaker 06

  Bring her on.

• 50:40Speaker 07

  You'd vote for that?

• 50:41Speaker 06

  My issue with any candidates is that in America, you have to be 35 to run.

• 50:47Speaker 07

  Fucked up.

• 50:47Speaker 06

  But if you're 35, they say you're too young.

• 50:49Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 50:49Speaker 06

  Then why is it the law?

• 50:51Speaker 07

  You're right.

• 50:51Speaker 06

  Why is 35 the minimum age if when you run and you're not 50, they're like, we got this young guy. No, we don't.

• 50:57Speaker 07

  35 is.

• 50:58Speaker 06

  35 is near death.

• 51:00Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 51:01Speaker 06

  I just feel like 30, if you are 35 on the day, you should be, nobody should say you're too young to run for president. That shit pisses me off.

• 51:10Speaker 07

  Would you ever run?

• 51:11Speaker 06

  No.

• 51:12Speaker 07

  For any office?

• 51:13Speaker 06

  No.

• 51:13Speaker 07

  Really?

• 51:14Speaker 06

  And I'm not even gonna joke about like, well, based on who's won, I guess anybody could. No, I think the pendulum should swing to people who are very smart and could do a good job.

• 51:22Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 51:23Speaker 06

  Is that wacky? Am I woke?

• 51:25Speaker 07

  You're not at all. I'm gonna run.

• 51:27Speaker 06

  You, you could run.

• 51:28Speaker 07

  I'm gonna run.

• 51:28Speaker 06

  What is your education in?

• 51:30Speaker 07

  Politic, socio-political communications, my undergrad degree.

• 51:33Speaker 06

  Let's give him, give her the crown.

• 51:35Speaker 07

  I mean.

• 51:37Speaker 00

  Let's be honest. You don't go to the holiday gift exchange just to participate. You go to win. This year, cause a stir. Gift a KitchenAid stand mixer to whip up new traditions. Tis your season to mix it up.

• 51:53Speaker 01

  At Peloton, sometimes thinking big means thinking small. Introducing the new Peloton Tread Flex. Our first foldable and movable tread that's just about three feet stowed, so you can roll it away. With an ultra-quiet and comfortable belt that whispers while you run. Made to fit however you move, and fit to move wherever you like. Let yourself run. Peloton. Explore Peloton Tread Flex at onepeloton.com.

• 52:21Speaker 04

  Bonjour, compadre. It's the

• 52:25Speaker 04

  How do I negotiate so many great travel deals? My greatest gadget, the Priceline app. It's got hotel deals, flight deals, rental car deals, all of those deals in a bundle. Deals, game day deals, concert trip deals. No one deals more deals than Priceline. Hold your horses, there's more. The app lets you filter hotels by neighborhood, vibe, star level, and amenities like pools and spas and beachfronts. And, wait, I'm not done. Stop cutting me off.

• 52:52Speaker 07

  I will say, I need someone, if anyone in Kansas City is listening to this, someone cool and leftist. We've got a mayor election coming up, someone cool and leftist, let's get his overrun situation going in KC. No one stepping up.

• 53:02Speaker 06

  Is Paul Rudd from Kansas City?

• 53:03Speaker 07

  He sure is.

• 53:04Speaker 06

  I recently saw a video of Jenna Ortega talking about Paul Rudd talking about Kansas City.

• 53:09Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 53:10Speaker 06

  Is she from Kansas City?

• 53:11Speaker 07

  No. It's like Paul Rudd, Jason Sudeikis, Heidi Gardner.

• 53:15Speaker 06

  You?

• 53:16Speaker 07

  Me, I'm over there. They have a charity show they do every year there that they bring a lot of people for.

• 53:21Speaker 06

  Recently, I told someone you live there and they, they were like, oh, wow. And I was like, why is it bad to live where you're from? Why is it bad to not, to not live in LA or New York full-time?

• 53:32Speaker 07

  Well, yeah, I don't, I'm like, I think it's nice. You're gonna come soon. You're coming to Kansas City because you're gonna do the Yee-Haw Benefit Show for the KC tenants.

• 53:40Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah. I was told that it is a fundraiser for people who are getting, unfortunately, like legally, trying to get kicked out of places they live, and I don't like that.

• 53:50Speaker 07

  You don't like that, that's not you.

• 53:51Speaker 06

  I don't like that, and I admire the way you care about shit.

• 53:54Speaker 07

  The only evictions you do are the hemorrhoids out of your asshole.

• 53:56Speaker 06

  Oh, my god, can't do it fast enough.

• 53:58Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 53:58Speaker 06

  I'll get those lawyers over here to help me with that.

• 54:00Speaker 07

  Yeah, I'll send the sheriff's office down there to bang on the door.

• 54:02Speaker 06

  Yeah. Have you ever had hemorrhoid?

• 54:04Speaker 07

  Oh, sure.

• 54:05Speaker 06

  It's awful.

• 54:06Speaker 07

  I don't, mine are just little, small guys that go away.

• 54:08Speaker 06

  You don't do a lot of receptive anal sex, do you?

• 54:11Speaker 07

  No.

• 54:12Speaker 06

  So it's like, who cares?

• 54:13Speaker 07

  Is that how you get them?

• 54:14Speaker 06

  Not me.

• 54:15Speaker 07

  Oh.

• 54:16Speaker 06

  Not me.

• 54:17Speaker 07

  What?

• 54:17Speaker 06

  Not me, I swear to god, I, I don't know what's going on with my body. I'm not a pusher, I'm not a, I'm not a, I'm not a strainer. I'm not a sit on the toilet and scroll on the phone. I'm on the toilet for 40 seconds. I'm able to just sit and it's all over quickly. I swear to god, I could have a, a, a movement in 30 seconds and it could all be water. And my body has a new hemorrhoid that's like

• 54:42Speaker 06

  So I don't know.

• 54:43Speaker 07

  You know how it's happening, you're just unfortunate?

• 54:45Speaker 06

  I'm just unfortunate. And you know what, recently I saw an article on out.com, and this could be a lie.

• 54:49Speaker 07

  Tell me.

• 54:49Speaker 06

  And it said, here's why anal sex is actually good for your hemorrhoid, to heal your hemorrhoids. And I don't know if that's true.

• 54:55Speaker 07

  That seems like something out.com would make up.

• 54:57Speaker 06

  That's what I'm saying.

• 54:57Speaker 07

  Out and them are playing with the boundaries of journalistic integrity very often.

• 55:01Speaker 06

  Girl, it was like them.com or out.com or something, and they had an article that was like, I'm 67 and I'm wanting to get to, to have my first time same-sex experience, what is your advice? It was a 67-year-old, and I just commented 6'7".

• 55:17Speaker 07

  This is the beloved community that we're supposed to be in.

• 55:21Speaker 06

  You know, similarly, what happened to me once was, they, out.com had an article about two whales that had, that fell in love, that are gay. I just commented And I got, I got, I got a band.

• 55:32Speaker 07

  Did you?

• 55:33Speaker 06

  On Instagram, I got a strike.

• 55:34Speaker 07

  Metal will bring you back, though.

• 55:35Speaker 06

  Crazy.

• 55:36Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 55:37Speaker 06

  TikTok, I got, I got a strike for yelling, where's Mitch McConnell on it during a DJ set. I was DJing and drag, and by the way, it doesn't make sense that I yelled it. It was at a pool party, I just turned the music off and went, where's Mitch McConnell? Turned it back on.

• 55:50Speaker 07

  You got a strike for that?

• 55:51Speaker 06

  Yes! Just asking where he is. Not even saying a bad thing. Asking where you are.

• 55:56Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 55:57Speaker 06

  Drop a pin.

• 55:57Speaker 07

  Let us know.

• 55:58Speaker 06

  Drop a pin.

• 55:59Speaker 07

  Proof of life.

• 55:59Speaker 06

  Share your location.

• 56:00Speaker 07

  And then he shows up in, uh, uh, suit separates and sneakers and a wheelchair, and we're supposed to be like, oh, good, he's back.

• 56:06Speaker 06

  Oh, girl, it's like an AI video of him at Disney.

• 56:09Speaker 07

  Stop electing these old fucking dinosaurs.

• 56:12Speaker 06

  And I don't want to be ageist either, because that also sounds bad.

• 56:14Speaker 07

  No, I do. Get out of office, what are you doing in office when you're 80?

• 56:18Speaker 06

  What are these, what are these lifetime positions?

• 56:20Speaker 07

  Hang out with your grandkids. Sit in the park, knit a sweater.

• 56:24Speaker 06

  That's what they are doing, they're not at work.

• 56:25Speaker 07

  Well, get out of Congress, I am ageist about this. No, I'm dead fucking serious, if you put me in charge of this country for a little bit, we are, we are lowering the age to be president to 30, we are abolishing the Electoral College, we are overhauling the two-party system, and we are putting an age cap on serving in any public office. If you are over 65, you better go play fucking mahjong and hang out in the park, bitch.

• 56:48Speaker 06

  Or

• 56:49Speaker 07

  It's over.

• 56:50Speaker 06

  Or transition to like

• 56:52Speaker 07

  Another gender.

• 56:53Speaker 06

  No, yes. Transition to like, do, do the, do the charity events, do the appearances, kiss the babies, do like the, um, I, I was a politician and I still like these causes, you can still do your waving and endorsing.

• 57:06Speaker 07

  Of course, be in public.

• 57:07Speaker 06

  Be involved.

• 57:08Speaker 07

  Do ribbon cuttings at Froyo shops, I don't give a fuck, but you cannot be in Congress anymore.

• 57:12Speaker 06

  And I would, I mean, do you know how horny I would be if it was like, oh, I loved him, and you know what? We lost him at 65 because he retired, but I loved his policies. Do you know how much happier that would make me?

• 57:20Speaker 07

  Get Bernie's ass out of there, too. Sorry.

• 57:23Speaker 06

  Girl.

• 57:23Speaker 07

  I love him.

• 57:24Speaker 06

  Love him.

• 57:24Speaker 07

  My rule is gonna affect him. You gotta go.

• 57:27Speaker 06

  And that's what I mean, like, I, I hate sounding like a blanket statement about people of ages, but I don't know. It's like, when you see someone's grandma on Instagram and they have a VR headset on and they dive through a wall because they don't understand how VR works, they should not be able to be like, take the headset off, like, that's, that was weird, I'm gonna go sign in some bills now.

• 57:47Speaker 07

  Yes!

• 57:47Speaker 06

  What the fuck?

• 57:48Speaker 07

  And honestly, we're gonna ban John Fetterman, too, it's not even an age thing with him, it's that he clearly had some head trauma.

• 57:53Speaker 06

  And we, and, be drag queens. All the best drag queens are old.

• 57:57Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 57:58Speaker 06

  Transition to drag. RuPaul, 60-something, the peak of beauty.

• 58:03Speaker 07

  You're getting up there as well.

• 58:04Speaker 06

  I'm 36, pretty much.

• 58:06Speaker 07

  And you're top of your game.

• 58:06Speaker 06

  That's what's funny is, drag queens, drag queenism is a 21-year-old drunk person's game.

• 58:12Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 58:13Speaker 06

  The rest of us are just flies on shit. We're vultures circling.

• 58:18Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 58:19Speaker 06

  I will never be one of those drag queens who's like, I'm 38 and I still got it. I know that I've overstayed my welcome. I know that. I'm not going anywhere.

• 58:28Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 58:28Speaker 06

  But I'm not a politician.

• 58:30Speaker 07

  Well, you're going everywhere, just not in drag.

• 58:31Speaker 06

  Right. Just not in drag, and I'm one of those drag queens who still gets in drag.

• 58:34Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 58:35Speaker 06

  All these other girls are drag queens who, are you kidding?

• 58:37Speaker 07

  I've never seen you in drag.

• 58:39Speaker 06

  Pods are the only time I'm not in drag.

• 58:43Speaker 06

  Serious, when have you ever seen me anywhere, if you see me at a poster and it says Trixie Mattel will be there, you never see, you know, this showing up, you never see Moby showing up.

• 58:53Speaker 07

  I just wish you'd come in drag to my show every once in a while.

• 58:55Speaker 06

  I had to drive to Santa Monica.

• 58:57Speaker 07

  You think I want to be in Santa Monica?

• 58:59Speaker 06

  You think I should be in the Volvo with a wig on?

• 59:01Speaker 07

  Do you think I want to be in Santa Monica, Trixie?

• 59:03Speaker 06

  Mary?

• 59:04Speaker 07

  Do you think it brought me joy to bring you to Santa Monica?

• 59:06Speaker 06

  I said to him, I said, they better be giving you guys some serious kickback, because I thought I was going to East Hollywood.

• 59:10Speaker 07

  Serious kickback? They get paid to do nothing.

• 59:13Speaker 06

  No, no, no, this studio, there better be some kind of deal, some kind of steep cut. Because my god.

• 59:20Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 59:20Speaker 06

  I had to get the airlifted here. And you have a New York studio, too?

• 59:23Speaker 07

  And everyone here is lovely, I only have a New York studio, this is not mine, we're, we're borrowing this.

• 59:27Speaker 06

  Oh, is that why this all looks so temporary?

• 59:29Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 59:29Speaker 06

  Yeah. I mean, because what is this saying, you know what I mean?

• 59:33Speaker 07

  Well, there's some hats, New York, LA, Kansas City, I didn't make the set, but I think they did a beautiful job, they made the, they made the banner, they have a fireplace, some tassels, which of course represent me. This is actually incredibly chic.

• 59:44Speaker 06

  I, you know what it gives, those butt plugs that have the ponytail?

• 59:48Speaker 07

  It's giving this one specific coat that Meryl wore in Devil Wears Prada 2. She wore this coat that was covered in tassels that is so fucking chic.

• 59:55Speaker 06

  I saw on the plane the other day, somebody was watching your movie right next to me.

• 59:59Speaker 07

  Devil Wears Prada?

• 59:59Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:00:00Speaker 07

  Oh, my god.

• 1:00:01Speaker 06

  Looked over and saw you, I love that shit, I love, I, I get embarrassed when I see myself on things, but when I see someone I know, I'm like I get really

• 1:00:08Speaker 07

  Do that again, that was cool. Oh, that was cool, I like that.

• 1:00:12Speaker 06

  Kind of

• 1:00:12Speaker 07

  Someone sent me a

• 1:00:13Speaker 06

  Kind of mask.

• 1:00:13Speaker 07

  It was hot mask, someone sent me a picture the other day on a plane of someone in this row, watching my HBO special, and someone like two rows up, watching Devil Wears Prada 2.

• 1:00:21Speaker 06

  That's great.

• 1:00:21Speaker 07

  And I was like, that's really cool, that was nice, that actually made me feel good.

• 1:00:24Speaker 06

  Trixie, uh, I was flying with my partner and Trixie Mattel was showing on like Air Canada and somebody was watching it, it was like me and my ex, and I was like, let's look out the window. Are those clouds?

• 1:00:35Speaker 07

  Oh, my god, beautiful, beautiful, pull up the shades.

• 1:00:37Speaker 06

  Yeah. And then sometime, I think some of the airlines have drag, what do I, I always re-watch The Office on airplanes.

• 1:00:43Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:00:43Speaker 06

  Because Delta always has it, so I always put it on. And then, what else do I be watching? I watch the flight tracker.

• 1:00:48Speaker 07

  What season, I do, too. I like to know what I'm going over.

• 1:00:51Speaker 06

  And I, people think, see me crying on a plane, I'm watching the flight tracker.

• 1:00:54Speaker 07

  Yeah, weeping.

• 1:00:56Speaker 06

  Oh, I flew to Turkey and Turkish Airlines First Class has a middle seat, don't ask. And so I was in the middle seat, and by the way, as a white bald person to fly to Turkey, the flight attendants were like, it's a big trip.

• 1:01:07Speaker 07

  Rest up.

• 1:01:07Speaker 06

  This is a big trip.

• 1:01:08Speaker 07

  Rest up, you're gonna need it, this is gonna be a tough one.

• 1:01:10Speaker 06

  This is huge, I'm like, yeah, can I get a champagne, thank you.

• 1:01:13Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:01:13Speaker 06

  And I, this woman next to me is watching The Notebook, and The Notebook is so good.

• 1:01:16Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:01:17Speaker 06

  That I, she's watching it with headphones, I actually can't plug my headphones into her shit. I watched it the whole movie like this, with no sound, and cried still. This woman.

• 1:01:28Speaker 07

  Imagine you're flying to Turkey, you look over, Trixie Mattel

• 1:01:32Speaker 06

  Is sitting there crying.

• 1:01:32Speaker 07

  Out of drag, is sitting there, watching your screen, no headphones, weeping.

• 1:01:36Speaker 06

  Weeping. But that just shows how beautiful performances they give in that movie.

• 1:01:40Speaker 07

  They give beautiful performances, let me tell you something about Rachel McAdams. I would do anything for her. I love her so fucking much. She's one of our greatest actors.

• 1:01:49Speaker 06

  She really is.

• 1:01:50Speaker 07

  Doesn't get talked about enough.

• 1:01:51Speaker 06

  And the woman who plays that, that character, the older woman?

• 1:01:54Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 1:01:55Speaker 06

  I forget her name, she passed away last year.

• 1:01:57Speaker 07

  Yeah, she's amazing, I forget her name as well.

• 1:01:58Speaker 06

  The scene with no sound where she, where she realizes, this, it was us, oh, my god, like, and Walter Matthau, I think, or, no, whoever.

• 1:02:05Speaker 07

  Oh, I forget his name. James Garner and Gina Rowlands.

• 1:02:08Speaker 06

  Okay, the scene where they have that, she's like, how long do we have? Are the kids okay? Like.

• 1:02:13Speaker 07

  She was beautiful until the day she passed, but when she was young, she was a dime.

• 1:02:17Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:02:17Speaker 07

  You ever seen her young?

• 1:02:18Speaker 06

  Of course, gorgeous. Gina Rowland, she's beautiful.

• 1:02:21Speaker 07

  She's absolutely beautiful. Wait, hold on, I was gonna ask you something. It was about planes, you were talking.

• 1:02:28Speaker 06

  Stop that train?

• 1:02:29Speaker 07

  Oh, no. What season of Drag Race were you on?

• 1:02:32Speaker 06

  I was on season seven.

• 1:02:35Speaker 07

  You're on season seven?

• 1:02:35Speaker 06

  And I was on All Stars three, but I have little peppered in little cameos here and there, little.

• 1:02:42Speaker 07

  Did you win?

• 1:02:43Speaker 06

  I won All Stars three.

• 1:02:45Speaker 07

  You didn't win your season, that's sad.

• 1:02:46Speaker 06

  No, didn't win.

• 1:02:48Speaker 07

  Who beat you?

• 1:02:49Speaker 06

  Violet, Violet Chachki.

• 1:02:51Speaker 07

  Oh, and I don't even know her.

• 1:02:53Speaker 06

  She was twenty-one.

• 1:02:55Speaker 07

  How old were you?

• 1:02:56Speaker 06

  Twenty-four.

• 1:02:57Speaker 07

  Oh, my god.

• 1:02:57Speaker 06

  Yeah, it was a long time ago, it was like ten years ago. Katya and I just rewatched it for our, we rewatched All Stars two, because Katya's been All Stars two.

• 1:03:04Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:03:04Speaker 06

  We just watched that on our.

• 1:03:06Speaker 07

  Did she win?

• 1:03:07Speaker 06

  No.

• 1:03:07Speaker 07

  Oh.

• 1:03:08Speaker 06

  We watched it on our Patreon, I don't want to say Patreon, people get mad, our Peasler.

• 1:03:12Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:03:14Speaker 06

  It's our Peasler.

• 1:03:14Speaker 07

  People get mad when you say Patreon?

• 1:03:15Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 1:03:16Speaker 07

  Why?

• 1:03:17Speaker 06

  We launched the Patreon and people were not happy. I don't know, well, also, the nice thing about drag is the backbone of drag is someone walking around the room being handed money. So it's never really gauche to be in drag and be like, can I have some money now? People are like, oh, absolutely. Oh, go to the car and get my credit card. Like, it's really fine.

• 1:03:34Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:03:34Speaker 06

  Drag is all about walking around asking for money.

• 1:03:36Speaker 07

  One hundred percent.

• 1:03:37Speaker 06

  As far as I, as far as I know, my first drag show ever, you walk around and pretend to sing someone else's song while people do this.

• 1:03:43Speaker 07

  I want to watch you drag race sometime. The one that you won, I don't want to watch you lose, I think that'd be really sad.

• 1:03:49Speaker 06

  You know, even when I did win, it was, I kind of lucked out, it was almost like a formality.

• 1:03:54Speaker 07

  What happened? Someone forgot to put their paperwork in on time or something?

• 1:03:57Speaker 06

  No, I don't know, you'll have to watch it. It was sort of like, well, that's the thing about Drag Race, nobody's ever happy who wins.

• 1:04:04Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:04:04Speaker 06

  It's always, people are upset about who didn't, it's, it's.

• 1:04:07Speaker 07

  That's the thing.

• 1:04:08Speaker 06

  In a lot of ways, it's, it's nice to not win, because then your whole life you just hear, I really loved you, I wanted you to win.

• 1:04:12Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:04:13Speaker 06

  And if you do win, then people are maybe more mad at you on behalf of who they wanted to win.

• 1:04:17Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:04:18Speaker 06

  But also, the money's nice, but the government takes, it counts as lottery winnings when you win Drag Race, the government takes forty percent.

• 1:04:24Speaker 07

  You win money for winning Drag Race?

• 1:04:26Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:04:26Speaker 07

  Oh, my gosh, how much?

• 1:04:27Speaker 06

  Now they win two hundred thousand dollars.

• 1:04:28Speaker 07

  They win two hundred thousand if they win Drag Race?

• 1:04:30Speaker 06

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:04:30Speaker 07

  Oh, my gosh.

• 1:04:31Speaker 06

  But, I mean, the government takes forty percent of that, so one hundred and twenty, or whatever that is?

• 1:04:36Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:04:37Speaker 06

  You win a hundred and twenty?

• 1:04:38Speaker 07

  That's still, that's incredible money to do.

• 1:04:39Speaker 06

  Oh, it's great.

• 1:04:40Speaker 07

  Dress up.

• 1:04:41Speaker 06

  And it's better than doing all that and not win.

• 1:04:45Speaker 06

  He's so, you're so right. You're so right.

• 1:04:47Speaker 07

  It's incredible money to just pretend to be a girl all day.

• 1:04:49Speaker 06

  Oh, put on a, put on a dress, and put on a wig, and change your name, and walk around and go, oh, I just finished all my music festivals, and I was like, wow. My whole life as a musician, I've always wanted to do music festivals, all I had to do was change my name, dress as a different person, and play other people's music.

• 1:05:03Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:05:04Speaker 06

  And all of it was possible for me.

• 1:05:05Speaker 07

  And you got it.

• 1:05:06Speaker 06

  And I got it.

• 1:05:06Speaker 07

  And you did it, and I am really proud of you.

• 1:05:08Speaker 06

  You know, you train your whole life to go DJ in ninety-degree weather outside.

• 1:05:12Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:05:13Speaker 06

  It was death-defyingly hot.

• 1:05:14Speaker 07

  And you're doing it.

• 1:05:15Speaker 06

  And I'm doing it.

• 1:05:16Speaker 07

  And you're doing it. You're throwing a pink disco all the time, it seems.

• 1:05:19Speaker 06

  Although it was, we're outside, and we were in San Francisco, and all these people were like, god, it's cold. It's like, so gay people have the nerve to complain when it's cold outside and complain inside when there's not enough air conditioning.

• 1:05:29Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:05:30Speaker 06

  We're not happy unless it is magically seventy-one at all times.

• 1:05:34Speaker 07

  I can think of the last concert I went to where it was magically seventy-one, and it was a beautiful evening. I remarked on it the whole night.

• 1:05:39Speaker 06

  What concert was it?

• 1:05:40Speaker 07

  It was Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats at the Starlight in Kansas City, and Hannah Cohen opened, and she was fabulous.

• 1:05:45Speaker 06

  The Night Sweats?

• 1:05:46Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 1:05:46Speaker 06

  They call themselves the Night Sweats, and there was no sweating.

• 1:05:49Speaker 07

  Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats. You guys should collab. You and Nathaniel Rateliff doing song together would be really funny.

• 1:05:53Speaker 06

  You had me at air conditioning.

• 1:05:54Speaker 07

  Hello.

• 1:05:54Speaker 06

  Nathaniel, the way you will get this crossy down there, if you get the good. What? Is that bad?

• 1:05:59Speaker 07

  Don't say crossy.

• 1:06:00Speaker 06

  Crossy. Crossy Teagan.

• 1:06:03Speaker 07

  Don't sing, don't. Trixie. Yesterday, I was with Brittany, and she goes, she goes, you know, I was talking to Trisha the other day, and I was like so lost for a couple senses.

• 1:06:13Speaker 06

  Did she mean me?

• 1:06:14Speaker 07

  Yes. And I thought she was talking about Trisha Paytas, and I was like, where is this going? Because she was talking about it in a familiar way, and I don't know Trisha, and I was like, what the fuck is she talking about? And then I was like, oh, you're talking about Trixie? And she was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, Brittany.

• 1:06:25Speaker 06

  She's my complainer friend. I think she and I, like, came up around the same times, and, well, she's significantly younger than me, but, um, and she's significantly more famous than me, but we complain together, so I call her and I pick up, and she's like, girl, and she's like, girl, and then it's just, the, the Indiana Jones, like, boulder starts rolling of everything that's pissing us off about everybody who we know, you know.

• 1:06:45Speaker 07

  Every time she and I hang out, it ends with us, like, holding each other's hands and being like, I can't tell you how special it is to know you. I can't tell you how lucky I feel to be your friend. It gets therapy quick.

• 1:06:54Speaker 06

  Well, you know what my hard pitch is here?

• 1:06:56Speaker 07

  Tell me.

• 1:06:56Speaker 06

  My hard pitch is that me, you, Drew, and Brittany get to do the view.

• 1:07:01Speaker 07

  Yeah, you've been pitching this. I really think we should just do a live tour together.

• 1:07:04Speaker 06

  I also would love that, and I know the big problem is that all of us are stretched in our own cinematic universes, so it's a little bit.

• 1:07:10Speaker 07

  I'm available.

• 1:07:11Speaker 06

  It's a little bit like Justice League, we're trying to get Batman, we're trying to get The Flash, the Wonder Woman.

• 1:07:16Speaker 07

  I'm available.

• 1:07:17Speaker 06

  I think it'd be so fun.

• 1:07:18Speaker 07

  I, it would be so fun. We should just do it.

• 1:07:20Speaker 06

  We could do something really easy, too. We could do like two weeks, just like four cities, weekend, whatever, call it a day.

• 1:07:26Speaker 07

  Well, we're gonna need to stay in a lot of these cities for more than one night, I'll tell you that.

• 1:07:30Speaker 06

  You think? Why?

• 1:07:31Speaker 07

  Because we're gonna sell the shows, Trixie.

• 1:07:33Speaker 06

  Oh, we could do Radio City.

• 1:07:35Speaker 07

  We, we could do three Radio Cities. I mean, it, yeah, we should do a tour, it'd be so fun.

• 1:07:38Speaker 06

  Have you done Radio City?

• 1:07:39Speaker 07

  I've not done it, I, I.

• 1:07:40Speaker 06

  Oh, you should!

• 1:07:41Speaker 07

  I was meant to do it this year.

• 1:07:43Speaker 06

  I didn't.

• 1:07:44Speaker 07

  But then I didn't go on tour. I know you did. It's really crazy what people will turn up for these days.

• 1:07:47Speaker 06

  It's nuts.

• 1:07:48Speaker 07

  I know.

• 1:07:48Speaker 06

  It's nuts. I, I couldn't, they knock good air conditioning, though.

• 1:07:52Speaker 07

  In Radio City?

• 1:07:53Speaker 06

  That's how they get you.

• 1:07:53Speaker 07

  Fuck.

• 1:07:54Speaker 06

  Katya had a tirade. Afterwards, she called, I'm gonna tell everybody, Katya, after the show, and it was like, oh, it's Radio City, whatever. Oh, my god, it was me, Katya, and then Kelly was in our show, Kelly Mantle, and we're, we're doing our sound check, and we're like, ugh, you know, cutting ourselves fucking over it all the time, it's horrible. It's like, you look back on these experiences, and you're like, you're such an asshole. Why weren't you beaming? But, it's not a good look, shut up. And then Kelly comes up to us and goes, oh, my god, y'all, it's Radio City Music Hall, can you believe it? And we both look at her and go, oh, shut up, Kelly.

• 1:08:24Speaker 07

  No, I love Kelly!

• 1:08:26Speaker 06

  But it was so hot, Katya called all the managers, agents, everyone into her dressing room, closed the door, and screamed and cried, it was fierce.

• 1:08:32Speaker 07

  I love that.

• 1:08:33Speaker 06

  And I love when she, because I'm so, I'm so used to being the only person who, I'm sorry, I never want to be difficult. And so it's like, oh, here's Tracy Mattel, that diva barking her orders again, but when Katya gets pissed off, everyone listens.

• 1:08:47Speaker 07

  Really?

• 1:08:48Speaker 06

  Oh, it's great. Whenever I really need something, I call her and have her ask for it.

• 1:08:51Speaker 07

  I really want a big diva moment soon. I want to, like, blow up on my team. I do, I really want to blow up on my team.

• 1:08:57Speaker 06

  You have a microphone, they're right here.

• 1:08:58Speaker 07

  Should we, no, not these guys. It would be really sad to blow up on them. I want to blow up on like.

• 1:09:01Speaker 06

  You want me to?

• 1:09:02Speaker 07

  What?

• 1:09:03Speaker 06

  Want me to?

• 1:09:03Speaker 07

  Blow up on my team, yeah, go blow up on them right now.

• 1:09:04Speaker 06

  I'm so fucking sick of all of you!

• 1:09:06Speaker 07

  Get them.

• 1:09:06Speaker 06

  The bullshit. I'm driving all the way out here, drive down an alley.

• 1:09:10Speaker 07

  Bring up the laziness.

• 1:09:11Speaker 06

  And this, the laziness. I walk in here, we're in this makeshift studio, that's like, what, the set from an Office Max commercial that didn't run, to sit with Miss Thing here, who has no makeup on her legs?

• 1:09:23Speaker 07

  Why would I have makeup? Don't, why am I a part of it? Just yell at them.

• 1:09:25Speaker 06

  Because of the bruises.

• 1:09:27Speaker 07

  Bruises?

• 1:09:28Speaker 06

  Well, there's gonna be.

• 1:09:29Speaker 07

  Don't, Trixie. Trying to call my manager right now, I want to know what the biggest diva moment I've had is. She's not answering, Tova Silverman.

• 1:09:39Speaker 07

  Completely unprofessional.

• 1:09:41Speaker 06

  That's really, it's like when Valerie Cherish calls CAA and she only can, can get a hold of the assistant.

• 1:09:45Speaker 07

  Wait, hold on, I got a voicemail.

• 1:09:50Speaker 07

  Oh, wait, they, wait, Trixie, this is crazy. They were trying to call me during this episode. What is going on? We'll find out later, don't worry about it. I want to know what my biggest diva moment was. Guys, what's been my biggest diva moment?

• 1:10:03Speaker 06

  I've never had a diva moment.

• 1:10:04Speaker 07

  You, how, yes, you have.

• 1:10:05Speaker 06

  How?

• 1:10:06Speaker 07

  You have to have had one.

• 1:10:07Speaker 06

  No, can I tell you, when I think I've had a diva moment, I call everyone apologizing, and they're all like, girl, that was, that was not a diva moment.

• 1:10:15Speaker 07

  Really?

• 1:10:15Speaker 06

  Because you got to understand, I work in drag.

• 1:10:17Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:10:17Speaker 06

  The bar for being a decent human being is in the basement.

• 1:10:21Speaker 07

  It's in hell.

• 1:10:22Speaker 06

  So as long as I say, fuck you all, please, like, it's fine.

• 1:10:25Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:10:26Speaker 06

  You know, I hate all you bitches, love you.

• 1:10:28Speaker 07

  I don't think I've had a big one. I have little ones, mostly around impatience, and I'm working on my impatience. I don't think I've had, like, a huge one. There's not been something that I've needed to, like, call everybody and apologize for yet, that I, or maybe I should have. I don't think so. Guys, what's my biggest diva moment? The only one I can, that comes to mind for me is, and it is a small one, and it was pretty justified. I forget what city we were on in tour, on tour, it was in the latter half of the tour, we were all. All very tired. You were dealing with like a leg injury or something. I did. I hurt my, I fucked up my foot.

• 1:10:54Speaker 06

  He's pretending he doesn't remember it, but all these details.

• 1:10:56Speaker 07

  Yeah, all these details are. He's like, I don't know. I could think of maybe one. Right. What do I do? We were in the rental car. We'd, we'd had like a rough flight. We'd had a rough like process of getting the rental car. They like took forever. You were really upset. And when we pulled up to the valet for the hotel, you took the keys and threw them at me and then went straight into the hotel to your room. I did not throw them at you. You tossed, you didn't like chuck them, but you like tossed them at me and then just went straight into the hotel. I think I tossed them to you. I know I didn't throw them at you.

• 1:11:26Speaker 06

  I've never done something like that. I'm serious. I never have.

• 1:11:30Speaker 07

  I think I threw them to you. But yeah, that was, that was, I actually do apologize.

• 1:11:34Speaker 06

  I'll tell you my most ultimate meltdown was, it was at the Critics' Choice Awards and I got nominated for my little special. And all the other specials were like real specials. Peacock, Netflix, and mine was self-produced. So I already was like, oh my God. And anyway, I was gonna lose because it was against Bill Bernam inside. He deserved the win, of course, but I couldn't believe I got invited. So I go and I'm standing there and it took so long to get there and I had to shoot all day at, uh, at World of Wonder. I had to shoot all day in drag and then go straight to the red carpet, which was fucking bogus. Looking back, I should have just canceled. What are they gonna do? Shoot me? But, so, I, so I get there and I'm in the back of this line waiting and other people's publicists keep cutting the line and I'm waiting and I'm waiting, I'm waiting. And then I can't get up to the front of the line. This other publicist comes up and she goes, oh my God, Trixie, I tried to represent you.

• 1:12:18Speaker 06

  And I go, yeah, I like the people I'm with. Then she goes, well, if you were my client, you wouldn't be in the back of this line right now.

• 1:12:22Speaker 07

  Period, bitch.

• 1:12:23Speaker 06

  And I go, oh, is that what you do? You go to the back of the line and try to harass the least famous people here to drum up business?

• 1:12:28Speaker 07

  Honestly, though, that's a great pitch. You're my client. You wouldn't be standing here looking like a fool.

• 1:12:32Speaker 06

  I did say that. And she goes, I don't have to drum up business. And then her two A-list clients come grab her on each arm and they walk to the front. So then I keep waiting and I keep waiting. I get to the front of the line and the most famous people show up last. So they're all cutting last. So I'm still waiting, waiting and waiting. I get up to the front of the line. It's Will Smith, it's Kristen Stewart, it's everyone. And then they close the, close the red carpet, turn off the lights. And so then I go, okay, I guess I'll go inside. Didn't even get a picture in the dress. I go inside to the cocktail hour. They close the cocktail hour.

• 1:12:59Speaker 07

  That made me wanna cry, Trixie. That was a really sad story.

• 1:13:01Speaker 06

  And then Matt and Bowen go, you wanna come in and sit with us? And I go, I don't have a ticket because I'm not with a network and the tickets were $1,200 apiece. So I didn't buy one. So then I just went home in the Uber and I sat on the couch and watched myself lose in drag. But I rode the whole way home, sit, and I can't sit in a car normal. So in drag, I sat like this on the floor the whole ride home. And, but the moral of the story is when I'm really upset, I don't blow up. I say nothing.

• 1:13:25Speaker 07

  Trixie, that's the saddest story I've ever heard.

• 1:13:27Speaker 06

  And the person I was in the car with later said, I knew you were upset because whenever you're really upset, you, you say absolutely nothing. And that's like chilling because you're always talking.

• 1:13:36Speaker 07

  When you say nothing at all.

• 1:13:39Speaker 06

  But you know what, though? This is also, I'm, I'm playing the blame game. Why don't you get there early enough? Why don't you cancel your day shoot? Why don't you, there's a lot of why don't you that I should, why don't you get a ticket? I know I didn't, it was $1,200, but why didn't I buy one? Just buy the ticket to go into the award show.

• 1:13:53Speaker 07

  Absolutely. There's a million things you could have done differently.

• 1:13:55Speaker 06

  Why are they charging nominees?

• 1:13:56Speaker 07

  But the picture of you standing in the line when they shut the lights off and close down the carpet i- in drag is like so deeply sad. It like makes my heart ache.

• 1:14:03Speaker 06

  It was crazy. I think I begged one of them to turn the lights back on and the person I was with took an iPhone picture. That was my picture from the Critics' Choice Awards.

• 1:14:11Speaker 07

  Trixie. Well, what's so true to you?

• 1:14:19Speaker 06

  I might've said this last time, but I feel really strongly about it.

• 1:14:21Speaker 07

  Do it. Who cares?

• 1:14:24Speaker 06

  This rigmarole surrounding, people's biggest fear on an airplane is that they're gonna have to check their bag. Just check the fucking bag.

• 1:14:33Speaker 07

  Hmm, disagree.

• 1:14:34Speaker 06

  And if you are in group K, why are you standing right at the mouth of where we're getting on the plane?

• 1:14:40Speaker 07

  This is real. Why are you standing up there? You know you're not boarding yet.

• 1:14:43Speaker 06

  It's not time yet.

• 1:14:44Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:14:44Speaker 06

  Even if you're standing in the front.

• 1:14:46Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:14:46Speaker 06

  Until that fucking sign says group seven, you are just a statue collecting pigeon shit.

• 1:14:53Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:14:55Speaker 07

  And you're in Trixie's way.

• 1:14:56Speaker 06

  It's like, they're standing there like, on your marks, like shut up. We're not going anywhere.

• 1:15:01Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:15:02Speaker 06

  It drives me insane. And then, I'm not even saying it because I'm, I'm obviously group one, but it's not even about that. It's not about that. You're blocking the old people.

• 1:15:13Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:15:14Speaker 06

  The pe- the infants, infants and toddlers with the wheelchairs, military service members, pilots, anybody who's getting on before you is having to Hunger Games like sidestep around you because you are standing there like if you don't get on this plane and if they have to put your bag on a blue tag or whatever, that you're gonna off yourself.

• 1:15:35Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:15:35Speaker 06

  It's so extreme.

• 1:15:36Speaker 07

  I am gonna off myself. Do not check my bag. I want that fucking bag with me.

• 1:15:40Speaker 06

  Just sit down until they say group L.

• 1:15:42Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:15:43Speaker 06

  That's all you have to do?

• 1:15:44Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:15:45Speaker 06

  I just think it's crazy.

• 1:15:47Speaker 07

  I think you're right. I, I agree with you. People waiting at the front when they're in a very late group, that's annoying. I am gonna put my bag on the plane. I packed in a very specific way for a reason and I don't trust them. They'll lose my shit. I want my stuff.

• 1:15:57Speaker 06

  Do you take a carry-on to your gigs and you don't bring a checked bag?

• 1:15:59Speaker 07

  No, I don't check a bag.

• 1:16:00Speaker 06

  I guess for me, it's because of drag. I have no option to ever not check a bag.

• 1:16:04Speaker 07

  Yeah, you don't have a choice.

• 1:16:05Speaker 06

  So maybe for me, I'm like, this is so stupid.

• 1:16:07Speaker 07

  I've gone to Europe for three weeks with only carry-ons. I'm very serious about the carry-on. This trip, I had to have a big checked bag and I, I asked Michelle to bring it with her and she will be taking it home. I, I do not wanna travel with a checked bag. Waiting at baggage claim to me feels like torture.

• 1:16:22Speaker 06

  My partner travels with like, in his bag, like the toothbrush, the phone charger, the, the pajamas, just, just in case.

• 1:16:28Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:16:29Speaker 06

  Which I do think is smart because I don't do that.

• 1:16:30Speaker 07

  Well, your medications, you should, anything that you need, anything you know you need, you should never check. But I don't check anything. I take two carry-ons. I take my away suitcase. They've never paid me a dime. They will not give me anything free away. Go ahead and do something.

• 1:16:42Speaker 06

  They want you to go away.

• 1:16:43Speaker 07

  They want me to go away. They're like, don't talk about our brand. You're bad for business. And then I have like a backpack with like my laptop and books and stuff and that's it.

• 1:16:50Speaker 06

  Do you buy into the propaganda of these Weekender bags that have like, kinda like mine, where they have like, you're meant to be able to put a pair of shoes in the bottom, a change of outfit, like a bag like that where you don't have to, I just always need a rolling suitcase. You're not gonna catch me at the airport with a bag with a strap.

• 1:17:04Speaker 07

  It's annoying. I have a, I have a garment bag that's really great. That's a garment bag that rolls up into a duffel. That thing is chic. It's fierce. When I need to bring dress clothes.

• 1:17:12Speaker 06

  That's pretty cool.

• 1:17:13Speaker 07

  You can put shoes and underwear and everything. It has side pockets. It has a laptop thing on the back.

• 1:17:16Speaker 06

  You don't have to steam.

• 1:17:17Speaker 07

  It's sick.

• 1:17:18Speaker 06

  You don't have to steam, do you?

• 1:17:18Speaker 07

  You still have to steam. It's like, it's pretty rolled up.

• 1:17:20Speaker 06

  It's pretty cool, though. I think, I mean, I always travel with, because we have to travel with like three bags of drag at least, three huge rolling suitcases of drag. Sometimes the guitar. Always I have to DJ, so I'm always bringing my computer, DJ, like at least some small DJ equipment. So I just have never, I've never been able to pack light in my whole life.

• 1:17:38Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:17:38Speaker 06

  It's never happened for me.

• 1:17:39Speaker 07

  It's not for you. It's not gonna happen for you. That's not your journey.

• 1:17:42Speaker 06

  And I can only do a backpack. If I do anything else, it's getting left.

• 1:17:45Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:17:45Speaker 06

  I travel sometimes with some of my little synthesizers and stuff. Forget it. I always forget it. If I put the computer, the iPad in the pocket, it's gone forever.

• 1:17:53Speaker 07

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:17:54Speaker 06

  I've lost so many iPads on Delta.

• 1:17:57Speaker 06

  Just get it, get out of the box, charge it, download some porn, leave it. Surprise.

• 1:18:03Speaker 07

  Trixie.

• 1:18:04Speaker 06

  Do you watch porn?

• 1:18:05Speaker 07

  Do I watch porn? Very rarely.

• 1:18:07Speaker 06

  I've been off porn for like a few years.

• 1:18:10Speaker 07

  I'd say I watch porn like, I, like, once a month, maybe.

• 1:18:16Speaker 06

  I pivoted to, again, living in the moment. If I want sex, let's do sex.

• 1:18:21Speaker 07

  Say that.

• 1:18:22Speaker 06

  Let's do sex.

• 1:18:23Speaker 07

  Say that.

• 1:18:24Speaker 06

  We don't have to do, we don't have to do Total Recall. We don't have to do FaceTime, you know?

• 1:18:30Speaker 07

  Also, I don't wanna watch those guys have sex. I was hoping to do it.

• 1:18:33Speaker 06

  The sex, the, the jerking off iPad baby? You know what I mean?

• 1:18:37Speaker 07

  What?

• 1:18:37Speaker 06

  Like you have the phone and then like. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy.

• 1:18:44Speaker 07

  Yeah, I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that at all.

• 1:18:47Speaker 06

  You're not doing phone porn?

• 1:18:48Speaker 07

  N- I, I, like, once a month I might watch porn, if even. I, I'm not, I, I'm not, I also, you can't watch it in Missouri anymore. They banned all the good sites.

• 1:18:55Speaker 06

  I've watched so much phone porn that, but I do watch it on a bigger screen. I'm like, everything's too big. It's too much. You get overstimulated. Absolutely.

• 1:19:02Speaker 07

  Yeah, you get scared.

• 1:19:02Speaker 06

  It's like I'm at the Wizard of Oz at the dome. It's too much. It's too. We're not supposed to, wait, I've never been to the dome to see those big movies, but I think it'd be really overwhelming.

• 1:19:13Speaker 07

  I would like to see something. I would like to see a movie in the dome and not a concert.

• 1:19:15Speaker 06

  What would you see? If you could go to the dome and let's say you could pick the movie in your mind and just snap your fingers and it would be that movie, what movie would you wanna see in the dome?

• 1:19:22Speaker 07

  Glorious Bastards.

• 1:19:23Speaker 06

  Holy shit.

• 1:19:26Speaker 06

  Holy shit.

• 1:19:27Speaker 07

  I wanna be in there.

• 1:19:28Speaker 06

  Is that the one with the Nazis?

• 1:19:33Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 1:19:35Speaker 06

  Is it Tarantino film, right?

• 1:19:36Speaker 07

  It is.

• 1:19:37Speaker 06

  I have seen this.

• 1:19:38Speaker 07

  It's really good.

• 1:19:38Speaker 06

  It is good. Sorry.

• 1:19:41Speaker 07

  It's Tova, my manager. Hey, what's going on, brother?

• 1:19:44Speaker 02

  Hi, that's good to be, how are you?

• 1:19:46Speaker 07

  Hey, I'm sorry. I know you guys tried to call to talk about actual work. I'm on the pod with Trixie Mattel right now.

• 1:19:50Speaker 06

  Hi.

• 1:19:53Speaker 07

  Trixie says hi. Um, I just wanted to know, what do you guys think my biggest diva moment has been in the years that we've worked together?

• 1:19:59Speaker 02

  Oh my God. Where to begin? That's such a good question.

• 1:20:02Speaker 07

  Where to begin?

• 1:20:03Speaker 06

  Where to begin?

• 1:20:04Speaker 07

  Where to begin?

• 1:20:04Speaker 02

  Perfect. I don't know. There's no diva moments.

• 1:20:08Speaker 07

  Olivia, come on. You guys know I've had one. What is it? Hold on, Trixie wants to talk.

• 1:20:12Speaker 06

  Okay, obviously that's your client, so you can't tell him, but it's just me and you talking now.

• 1:20:17Speaker 02

  Okay, so sad.

• 1:20:18Speaker 06

  So what's the tea?

• 1:20:20Speaker 02

  Oh my God. I'm really trying to think.

• 1:20:23Speaker 07

  They're so stressed. They're stressed the fuck out right now.

• 1:20:27Speaker 06

  One time I was on a pod with him and he called his manager in the middle of it. That was kinda rude.

• 1:20:30Speaker 07

  That wasn't rude. That was for content, Trixie. That wasn't rude.

• 1:20:33Speaker 02

  Olivia's sweating.

• 1:20:35Speaker 07

  They love you. All right, hang up on them. Hang up on them.

• 1:20:38Speaker 06

  All right. Well, thanks for the input.

• 1:20:41Speaker 07

  Refusing to answer. Hang up on them. They get paid so much money to not even give me a good clip.

• 1:20:46Speaker 06

  Is this a Galaxy Note?

• 1:20:47Speaker 07

  This is a, it's a Galaxy, what is it? A Galaxy Pixel? Or is it Google Pixel?

• 1:20:51Speaker 06

  Oh, it's Google Pixel. Do you love?

• 1:20:52Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:20:53Speaker 06

  They're amazing. I did a little thing for Google Pixel and I got to use the phone for the commercials.

• 1:20:58Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:20:59Speaker 06

  That is an amazing phone.

• 1:21:00Speaker 07

  They need to stop putting all the fucking AI in it, but I like the phone other than that.

• 1:21:02Speaker 06

  Pixel nine, I think I had the camera.

• 1:21:06Speaker 07

  They're calling me back?

• 1:21:07Speaker 06

  They have, they have, they have an idea.

• 1:21:08Speaker 07

  Wait, did you guys think of something?

• 1:21:10Speaker 02

  I thought of it.

• 1:21:12Speaker 07

  In unison, we thought of it. All right, what is it? Well, you didn't want to go to the Oscars. Oh. Are you guys nervous about me putting that out in public? No, ask Brad Lindsay. That's not what we're here for. They said, ask your publicist. All right. Love you guys. Bye.

• 1:21:32Speaker 06

  No, you know, I

• 1:21:32Speaker 07

  I got invited to the Oscars.

• 1:21:33Speaker 06

  I'm pro award show, but I think it's like my critics choice story. It's okay to admit that going to them is it's a it's a it's a Tetris. It's a lot.

• 1:21:42Speaker 07

  I just don't have an interest. I don't like award shows. I'm not interested in them. I don't care about them. I don't care who won. I don't want to be there.

• 1:21:46Speaker 06

  I feel that way about a lot of them and premieres because I to me, if I'm going to go to a premiere, I'm being invited to go in drag.

• 1:21:53Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:21:53Speaker 06

  Me sitting in a movie theater in drag.

• 1:21:56Speaker 07

  In the dark.

• 1:21:57Speaker 06

  I only did it for Barbie.

• 1:21:58Speaker 07

  In the dark, yeah.

• 1:21:59Speaker 06

  And they put me.

• 1:22:00Speaker 07

  You, you in drag in the dark.

• 1:22:02Speaker 06

  They I because of my hair. No, literally, literally, no, literally, literally. I they I've gone to them and when I go to them out of drag, I get treated like, why are you here? And when I go in drag, I get treated like rightfully so, a huge obstruction.

• 1:22:18Speaker 07

  Yeah. 10 foot wig in Barbie.

• 1:22:20Speaker 06

  Tiny and 90 pound Hollywood people. And I'm like, excuse me, excuse me, is this me? Is this me here? Okay.

• 1:22:28Speaker 07

  Get out of here.

• 1:22:29Speaker 06

  Marge Simpson wig and like linebacker shoulders.

• 1:22:32Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:22:33Speaker 06

  And um, I went to Barbie in drag and they put me and I was they put me in the ADA section, which was which was smart.

• 1:22:41Speaker 07

  Appropriate, yeah.

• 1:22:42Speaker 06

  I was in the ADA section, which was the best choice for somebody dressed like Big Bird.

• 1:22:47Speaker 07

  Yeah, you needed to be in your own zone where you could have some space.

• 1:22:50Speaker 06

  Cause I get really insecure about I turn around to the people behind me and say, sorry, Brittany and I went to, we were doing that cover shoot for Hollywood Reporter for YouTube. And Brittany and I were like, all right, we got tickets to Little Shop of Horrors right after this.

• 1:23:02Speaker 07

  What was the piece?

• 1:23:04Speaker 06

  It was like how YouTube is like, um, it was like about like top YouTube creators.

• 1:23:09Speaker 07

  Oh, and they picked you guys.

• 1:23:10Speaker 06

  We don't know why.

• 1:23:11Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:23:11Speaker 06

  Diversity hires.

• 1:23:12Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:23:13Speaker 06

  They needed a woman and they need Brittany, a gay guy.

• 1:23:15Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:23:17Speaker 06

  They they uh, Brittany and I had to go straight to Little Shop of Horrors and I thought I would have time to get out of drag.

• 1:23:22Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:23:22Speaker 06

  And I'm in an off Broadway theater, which as you know, is TSA. It's like small.

• 1:23:27Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:23:27Speaker 06

  So I'm sitting like this because I have three wigs on. I feel so bad. That girl from that movie Divergent, I forget what her name is. She's sitting behind me and I'm going, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. And she was a she was a fan, so she was she was nice about it, but no matter how much a fan you are, you can't see through my head.

• 1:23:45Speaker 07

  Yeah, you like to see this.

• 1:23:46Speaker 06

  So I had to watch the whole show like, like.

• 1:23:48Speaker 07

  Do you know what would be a gag? Next time you have to go to an event and they want you in drag, you should wear a huge wig that has a hollowed out like window.

• 1:23:55Speaker 06

  Oh.

• 1:23:56Speaker 07

  So people can see through it. That's a great gag.

• 1:23:58Speaker 06

  It should be like the back of the Delta seat.

• 1:23:59Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 1:24:00Speaker 06

  Where you could plug headphones in and you'll charge your phone.

• 1:24:02Speaker 07

  Yes, that's amazing. And it's just a it's a simulation flight tracker.

• 1:24:08Speaker 06

  Yes, and I'm crying.

• 1:24:09Speaker 07

  And they can watch it if you're crying, yeah.

• 1:24:11Speaker 06

  I really want to see Rocky Horror.

• 1:24:13Speaker 07

  Well, right now you need to play a game.

• 1:24:14Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 1:24:14Speaker 07

  I can't talk to you about Rocky Horror right now. You ready? I'm going to read you 15 statements, Trixie. You're going to tell me as quickly as you can if what I just said was true or false. If you get 10 or more correct, we're going to give you 50 US dollars. And I know that we will.

• 1:24:26Speaker 06

  Am I still the only guest that wanted the money?

• 1:24:28Speaker 07

  Yes. I don't I'm going to I'm going to pronounce these first ones wrong, I think, but Beta is the capital of Libya?

• 1:24:34Speaker 06

  Wrong.

• 1:24:35Speaker 07

  False, it's Tripoli. The first Star Wars movie was released in theaters in 1975.

• 1:24:41Speaker 06

  False.

• 1:24:42Speaker 07

  False, it's 1977. A mile is 1600 meters.

• 1:24:49Speaker 06

  False.

• 1:24:50Speaker 07

  It's true.

• 1:24:50Speaker 06

  Fuck!

• 1:24:51Speaker 07

  Angela Lansbury was born at sea on a British naval ship.

• 1:24:55Speaker 06

  That's actually true.

• 1:24:55Speaker 07

  False, it was London.

• 1:24:56Speaker 06

  Fuck!

• 1:24:57Speaker 07

  Wisconsin State motto is forward.

• 1:25:03Speaker 06

  That makes me so embarrassed that I don't know. True.

• 1:25:08Speaker 07

  It's true.

• 1:25:08Speaker 06

  Yes!

• 1:25:09Speaker 07

  Exxon Mobil has the most gas station locations in the US.

• 1:25:14Speaker 06

  False.

• 1:25:15Speaker 07

  False, it's Shell.

• 1:25:16Speaker 06

  Ha!

• 1:25:16Speaker 07

  Puffins meat for life.

• 1:25:20Speaker 06

  Like the cereal?

• 1:25:22Speaker 07

  No.

• 1:25:22Speaker 06

  Oh, it's a bird.

• 1:25:23Speaker 07

  Some sort of penguin or something.

• 1:25:23Speaker 06

  Uh, they don't.

• 1:25:27Speaker 07

  It's true.

• 1:25:27Speaker 06

  Fuck!

• 1:25:28Speaker 07

  Only 3% of the water on earth is fresh water.

• 1:25:32Speaker 06

  That's true.

• 1:25:33Speaker 07

  That is true. Barnes and Noble was founded in 1873.

• 1:25:40Speaker 06

  That's true.

• 1:25:41Speaker 07

  That is true.

• 1:25:42Speaker 06

  Ah!

• 1:25:42Speaker 07

  UW UW Milwaukee's mascot is Perry Panther.

• 1:25:46Speaker 06

  It's true.

• 1:25:47Speaker 07

  False. Pounce Panther.

• 1:25:49Speaker 06

  Fuck off. Like I ever went to a sporting event and my 16 years I spent getting an undergrad there. I had part time jobs. Am I being punished?

• 1:25:59Speaker 07

  The humorous bone is in the leg.

• 1:26:02Speaker 06

  It's true.

• 1:26:02Speaker 07

  False, it's the arm.

• 1:26:03Speaker 06

  Ah!

• 1:26:04Speaker 07

  The Minnesota Vikings have never won the Super Bowl.

• 1:26:08Speaker 06

  That's true.

• 1:26:08Speaker 07

  That is true. Grizzly bears can run at speeds up to 35 miles per hour.

• 1:26:11Speaker 06

  How many do I have to get?

• 1:26:12Speaker 07

  Like 10.

• 1:26:13Speaker 06

  I'm getting this money.

• 1:26:14Speaker 07

  Grizzly bears can run at speeds up to 35 miles per hour.

• 1:26:20Speaker 06

  False, they can go faster than that.

• 1:26:21Speaker 07

  It's true. There are no Walmarts in Hawaii.

• 1:26:25Speaker 06

  True.

• 1:26:25Speaker 07

  False.

• 1:26:27Speaker 06

  I I'm getting so pissed off right now.

• 1:26:32Speaker 07

  Wizard of Oz had its world premiere in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

• 1:26:35Speaker 06

  False.

• 1:26:35Speaker 07

  It's true.

• 1:26:37Speaker 06

  What? You are not telling the truth.

• 1:26:42Speaker 07

  How'd you do?

• 1:26:43Speaker 06

  Seven.

• 1:26:44Speaker 07

  You got seven.

• 1:26:44Speaker 06

  I counted seven. Okay, well, fuck my money then. What did I pay you?

• 1:26:47Speaker 07

  I don't want to see it. Yes. And it's the rate's a lot higher than 50.

• 1:26:50Speaker 06

  Has anybody else ever won?

• 1:26:51Speaker 07

  It's based on income. Oh, yeah, plenty of people.

• 1:26:53Speaker 06

  Didn't Lizzo win?

• 1:27:01Speaker 07

  Lizzo's not been on the show. Trixie.

• 1:27:04Speaker 06

  Wait, no, no, no. I did that. I did that. I did some kind of press piece once that was like, name that tune and the two people that won was me and Lizzo. Different thing.

• 1:27:12Speaker 07

  Different thing.

• 1:27:13Speaker 06

  Do you think of Lizzo? People always mix us up.

• 1:27:15Speaker 07

  You and Lizzo?

• 1:27:15Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:27:16Speaker 07

  Yeah, that makes sense. You guys have a lot in common.

• 1:27:19Speaker 06

  Do you think in Australia, they say Lizar?

• 1:27:20Speaker 07

  Yes, Lizar.

• 1:27:21Speaker 06

  All love Lizar, Jors, Hesong Jors.

• 1:27:24Speaker 07

  Good as hell.

• 1:27:25Speaker 06

  Do they love you in Australia?

• 1:27:27Speaker 07

  Don't know. Australians, if you're here, shop me out in the comments.

• 1:27:29Speaker 06

  You've never been to Australia?

• 1:27:30Speaker 07

  No, too far. If they would put it somewhere else, I'd go.

• 1:27:33Speaker 06

  They love comedy and they love gay people.

• 1:27:35Speaker 07

  I don't care what they love. They need to love being closer to the US.

• 1:27:38Speaker 06

  Do you go to?

• 1:27:38Speaker 07

  I'm not taking that flight.

• 1:27:39Speaker 06

  Do you go to the UK?

• 1:27:40Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 1:27:42Speaker 06

  I guess I'm just starting to think of like, because your content is all in the English language. I bet maybe similar to Kati and I, you do well in a lot of the English speaking areas.

• 1:27:49Speaker 07

  I do very well in the UK and it's a six hour flight from the US, which is very appropriate.

• 1:27:53Speaker 06

  And I love the UK. Those bitches can take a joke, any kind of joke.

• 1:27:56Speaker 07

  They're cool. I really love British audiences.

• 1:27:58Speaker 06

  That incredible.

• 1:27:59Speaker 07

  I'm actually filming my first British TV show soon.

• 1:28:02Speaker 06

  Fierce.

• 1:28:02Speaker 07

  I can't talk about it, but I am.

• 1:28:03Speaker 06

  Then why'd you bring it up?

• 1:28:04Speaker 07

  Because I wanted to brag, but I didn't have the ability to share the full details. I'm really proud of myself because I've worked very hard to get to where I am in life. And I wanted to share it with my friend, a dear friend who I love very much.

• 1:28:14Speaker 06

  I know I'm Wisconsin because you just said brag.

• 1:28:16Speaker 07

  Brag, brage?

• 1:28:17Speaker 06

  It should be brage.

• 1:28:18Speaker 07

  Brage.

• 1:28:19Speaker 06

  It should be brage.

• 1:28:19Speaker 07

  We gotta go, Trixie. I love you so much. Thank you for doing this.

• 1:28:21Speaker 06

  Thank you so much. I guess since I didn't win any money, I'll just go gas up my car and make the trip back to Hollywood.

• 1:28:29Speaker 07

  You are so annoying.

• 1:28:30Speaker 06

  Uh, next time, I think if we could get an Uber helicopter to me.

• 1:28:34Speaker 07

  Do you want to tell people where they can find you? Maybe we could get some views on your stuff finally?

• 1:28:37Speaker 06

  That'd be great. I'm at Trixie on everything, including YouTube, TikTok, everything. I'm not at Trixie on Instagram. Somebody who owns that, I think it's a fake account. And I tried to get it from them. They said they wanted $60,000.

• 1:28:49Speaker 07

  You have that.

• 1:28:51Speaker 06

  Yeah, but at what cost?

• 1:28:52Speaker 07

  $60,000.

• 1:28:53Speaker 06

  Because I want I want to be at Trixie on everything. It bothers me that there's one platform where I'm at Trixie Mattel.

• 1:28:58Speaker 07

  Yeah, it's okay though. I think you're doing well.

• 1:29:00Speaker 06

  It's okay. Um, what else do I have to plug? When does this come out?

• 1:29:03Speaker 07

  Oh, we don't know. We don't know.

• 1:29:07Speaker 06

  Potentially September 3rd, but don't hold us to that. Okay, it's a little early, but I have a Halloween EP coming out called Till Death Do Us Part.

• 1:29:14Speaker 07

  Huge.

• 1:29:15Speaker 06

  And I have a Halloween special I'm doing.

• 1:29:16Speaker 07

  Oh my God, fun. I love that.

• 1:29:18Speaker 06

  I love Halloween, love spooky stuff. I'm doing another special and um, love it. I might have to call you out for a little bit part.

• 1:29:25Speaker 07

  Easy.

• 1:29:25Speaker 06

  And it would be a voice note only. You wouldn't have to do anything.

• 1:29:27Speaker 07

  It's done.

• 1:29:28Speaker 06

  All my friends are drag queens, so I have to make up roles for them with enough to put on any makeup or wigs.

• 1:29:31Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:29:32Speaker 06

  Because the one thing drag queens hate ironically is getting in drag.

• 1:29:35Speaker 07

  Doing drag.

• 1:29:35Speaker 06

  I feel bad saying that here or not in drag.

• 1:29:37Speaker 07

  Of course. Next time you come on the show, I'm sure you'll come in drag.

• 1:29:41Speaker 06

  I will. Will you wear those shoes?

• 1:29:44Speaker 07

  Not if you don't want me to.

• 1:29:45Speaker 06

  It's bold of you to wear them and then be like a natural leg crosser, like all hoard out like this.

• 1:29:48Speaker 07

  These shoes are cute. People are going to like these shoes and you're going to get a lot of hate for hating on these.

• 1:29:52Speaker 06

  I think the lesbian osteo.

• 1:29:54Speaker 07

  You're wearing plain white Air Force as if you're some kind of fashion like.

• 1:29:56Speaker 06

  These are fashion. Those are for lesbian osteopaths.

• 1:29:59Speaker 07

  And that's what that is me, Trixie.

• 1:30:02Speaker 06

  You are a strict shift manager at um.

• 1:30:06Speaker 07

  Cut the cameras. Cut, we're done.

• 1:30:10Speaker 00

  Let's be honest, you don't go to the holiday gift exchange just to participate. You go to win. This year, cause a stir, gift a KitchenAid stand mixer to whip up new traditions. Tis your season to mix it up.

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