David Gborie & Langston Kerman are Mommy & Daddy

Welcome! This week’s guests are the co-hosts of the My Momma Told Me Podcast David Gborie and Langston Kerman! David, Langston, and Caleb talk gym culture, being thrifty at the store, a young golf prodigy and his family, Lugs, and much more! Check out My Momma Told Me! https://www.youtube.com/@MyMommaToldMe Join our Substack for ad free full episodes, early access to merch, our community chat, and more! https://calebsaysthings.substack.com/ Follow David! @coolguyjokes87 Follow Langston! @langstonkerman Follow the show! @sooootruepod Follow Caleb! @calebsaysthings Produced by Chance Nichols @chanceisloud Visit https://hin.ge/SoTruewithCalebHearon to download Hinge today! Book your next trip at Booking.com. Book today on the site or in the app. Shop now at https://Fabletics.com/sotrue to get 70-80% percent off everything when you sign up as a new VIP So True with Caleb Hearon is edited and engineered by Nicole Lyons. Our social media manager is Anna Weis. All episodes are filmed in The So Trudio at Legitimate Business World Headquarters in Brooklyn, New York. A Wave series. https://wavesportsandentertainment.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:21Speaker 03

  Were you bigger than everybody else even in high school?

• 1:24Speaker 04

  What did you say?

• 1:25Speaker 03

  You're a tall person. You're a tall person.

• 1:33Speaker 03

  This is so scary for me.

• 1:34Speaker 04

  One more time?

• 1:37Speaker 03

  Folks, what a pickle I've gotten myself into.

• 1:39Speaker 04

  Freeze frame. Probably wondering.

• 1:43Speaker 05

  I'm wondering how I got here.

• 1:49Speaker 04

  I've always thought about straight people that the thing was that the woman is beautiful and effervescent and charming and the man is a troglodyte. Just like, just like an ugly, uncharming, but that's been my experience. I will say, at least where I grew up, that was most of the relationships I saw.

• 2:04Speaker 05

  In Missouri?

• 2:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was like a woman who was like beautiful and took care of herself and a man who looked like dog shit all the time. Wasn't nice, didn't have a great job.

• 2:13Speaker 05

  He had one.

• 2:14Speaker 03

  But he was hardworking, I bet.

• 2:16Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 2:18Speaker 03

  I'm standing up for the troglodyte.

• 2:22Speaker 03

  But he had a pretty good shell.

• 2:23Speaker 04

  But he showed up to work.

• 2:25Speaker 05

  You ever seen him hit a baseball?

• 2:28Speaker 04

  In high school.

• 2:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, in high school.

• 2:30Speaker 03

  That was the last time. He hasn't do it anymore.

• 2:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's not his thing anymore.

• 2:33Speaker 03

  He's actually scared to pick up that baseball bat because he's afraid he won't be the man that he thought he was.

• 2:37Speaker 05

  That happened to us two weeks ago, a month ago.

• 2:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:40Speaker 05

  We went and hit baseballs.

• 2:41Speaker 04

  You found out you weren't the men that you thought you were?

• 2:43Speaker 03

  Hundred percent.

• 2:43Speaker 05

  Not, not at the batting.

• 2:45Speaker 03

  Hundred percent.

• 2:46Speaker 05

  Not at the batting cages.

• 2:47Speaker 03

  You, you wouldn't believe the lore that I had built in my head.

• 2:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 2:51Speaker 03

  Of how powerful I was gonna be behind that. With every swing, I thought those balls were gonna go flying.

• 2:56Speaker 04

  If I just chose to pick up the bat.

• 2:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, but then you picked up the bat.

• 2:59Speaker 03

  And then, and then you realize how fast the balls are coming and we're on the slowest one.

• 3:04Speaker 05

  We were not on, we were on the softball cage.

• 3:06Speaker 03

  We're, we're on the softball cage. Those balls are going, they're zooming past you.

• 3:11Speaker 05

  High arc.

• 3:14Speaker 04

  Kind of floating into the pocket.

• 3:18Speaker 04

  Really landing gently right in the strike zone.

• 3:20Speaker 03

  You can read the labels on the balls as they come towards you and I'm still missing every time.

• 3:29Speaker 05

  It was like, it felt like a humiliation ritual.

• 3:32Speaker 03

  And, and you should say, this was his, this was his bachelor party weekend.

• 3:37Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 3:37Speaker 03

  So I'm meeting a bunch of men I've never met before.

• 3:39Speaker 04

  And then, and then doing this in front of them.

• 3:41Speaker 03

  And then doing this in front of them and taking L's, dog.

• 3:44Speaker 05

  Everybody was, everybody. Cause you said the funniest thing, you were like, ah, I'm not gonna think about that all weekend.

• 3:52Speaker 03

  I've never met these men. His brothers, their little tiny bing bong motherfuckers.

• 3:57Speaker 05

  Yeah, they're buff. My little brother's so buff.

• 3:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:01Speaker 05

  They're like little springs is what they look like.

• 4:04Speaker 04

  Do you got, what is the straight guy? I'm wondering if the, the, uh, picking up the bat and finding out you're not the man you thought you were. In the gay community, there's this idea that like, at a certain age, you either put on the wig or hit the weight room.

• 4:15Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 4:15Speaker 04

  Do you know about this?

• 4:16Speaker 05

  Wow, no.

• 4:17Speaker 04

  It's like, I'm forgetting the exact phrasing, but it's like, you either start, you put on the wig or you hit the weight room.

• 4:21Speaker 05

  I just hit the weight room. I think I'm at that age.

• 4:23Speaker 04

  You're hitting the weight room?

• 4:24Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 4:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:25Speaker 05

  Hard.

• 4:26Speaker 04

  Are you?

• 4:26Speaker 05

  Hard.

• 4:27Speaker 04

  You look good, brother.

• 4:28Speaker 05

  As hard as I would hit a wig.

• 4:29Speaker 04

  You're looking handsome as ever.

• 4:30Speaker 03

  We went to the gym.

• 4:31Speaker 05

  If the wig was an option?

• 4:35Speaker 05

  If I could.

• 4:36Speaker 04

  If I thought wig was available to me.

• 4:38Speaker 05

  If I could put the energy I'm putting into the gym into clothes, I would. I just don't have.

• 4:42Speaker 03

  My heart is in wig, my body, my body is in gym, yeah.

• 4:48Speaker 05

  We did go to the gym.

• 4:49Speaker 03

  We went to the gym together the other day and we barely, we barely saw each other.

• 4:53Speaker 05

  But that's how we both want it to be.

• 4:55Speaker 03

  I think so, yeah. I didn't feel any regret about it.

• 4:57Speaker 04

  Where'd you each go?

• 4:58Speaker 05

  We went, so I've been going to this gym that's these old Persian guys.

• 5:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:03Speaker 05

  And.

• 5:03Speaker 03

  He's been going to a very bad gym. He's objectively been going to a bad gym.

• 5:09Speaker 05

  It's not great.

• 5:10Speaker 03

  And then is now trying a better gym.

• 5:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:13Speaker 03

  That I've been going to. And I thought I could get him in on a guest pass, but as it turns out, better gyms don't have, um, reasonable entry.

• 5:20Speaker 04

  They're not, they're not fucking around.

• 5:21Speaker 05

  He's not explaining it well. Langston goes to the hot guy gym.

• 5:24Speaker 03

  I do go to the hot guy gym.

• 5:25Speaker 05

  He said, half the corner boys from the wire are in here. That's what he says when we walk in.

• 5:30Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:30Speaker 05

  He says, Bodhi says hi to me. I say.

• 5:33Speaker 03

  It was Dookie, but yes, absolutely. Dookie from the wire, absolutely, he says hi to me.

• 5:38Speaker 05

  I say, I know this gym is not for me. It's so sexy and it's, that's, I had a good time. It was too sexy for me.

• 5:46Speaker 03

  It's, it's the horniest gym I've ever been to in my life.

• 5:49Speaker 05

  And it was sexy at 6:00 AM.

• 5:51Speaker 04

  That's fucked up.

• 5:52Speaker 05

  It's too, you can't be sexy at that time, I don't think.

• 5:54Speaker 03

  It's an unreasonable time.

• 5:55Speaker 04

  You shouldn't be. And I will say also, the, a lot of times, there's a fear in the fat guy community that you will be discriminated against if you go to the sexy gym. It's actually way worse. You're gonna be cheered on. And that shit hurts.

• 6:08Speaker 05

  I'll kill you.

• 6:09Speaker 04

  When they're like, I'll fucking kill you. They're like, keep it up, big man. I'm like, get the fuck off of me.

• 6:15Speaker 03

  Two more years of that.

• 6:20Speaker 05

  I'm like trying to say my stats as I'm lifting. I'm like, I have a wife.

• 6:25Speaker 05

  I'm a proud member of Sag Aftro.

• 6:27Speaker 03

  Yeah. Some of us got our dick sucked already this morning.

• 6:32Speaker 05

  She's proud of me. Cause I don't, that's what I don't like about buff guys is that little brother energy.

• 6:40Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 6:40Speaker 05

  And it's like, hey man, I don't give a shit. I'll bear hug you and jump down the stairs.

• 6:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:47Speaker 05

  Dog, I will find a way to make us equal.

• 6:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:51Speaker 05

  Why do you think I got funny? Why do you think I got fucking fun?

• 6:55Speaker 03

  Now we're both in wheelchairs.

• 6:56Speaker 05

  Yeah, now what?

• 6:57Speaker 03

  Now what?

• 6:58Speaker 05

  Great traps. Fucking asshole.

• 7:00Speaker 03

  I will say, my biggest fear in the gym is that I'm gonna be doing a movement and then a stronger man is gonna come over and tell me how to do that correctly.

• 7:09Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 7:10Speaker 03

  That, that brings me so much anxiety that I don't even fuck with certain stuff out of fear that somebody's gonna make me do it better.

• 7:18Speaker 05

  Okay, cause I was wondering why you did two rounds of cardio.

• 7:25Speaker 05

  He's in good shape.

• 7:26Speaker 03

  Motherfucker, this is personal.

• 7:27Speaker 04

  Okay, I'm sorry.

• 7:29Speaker 05

  I was really sweaty.

• 7:30Speaker 04

  You're putting trade secrets, you're putting trade secrets out.

• 7:33Speaker 03

  I didn't realize this was gotcha media. I thought this was a fun hang with friends.

• 7:37Speaker 05

  I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was the sweatiest guy in the gym. Does that help?

• 7:41Speaker 04

  It totally helps. And did you get any keep it up, big man? Cause keep it up, big man is like.

• 7:46Speaker 05

  I didn't even get eye contact in there.

• 7:48Speaker 04

  Really?

• 7:49Speaker 05

  Caleb, that's how sexy they were. And then I didn't tell you about this, when I went to leave, my fucking lock wasn't working.

• 7:56Speaker 03

  Oh no.

• 7:57Speaker 05

  So I was trying to like do the combo to unlock the lock. And all these buff guys are just butt ass naked. I'm sweaty in my stupid shirt.

• 8:06Speaker 05

  On the lock, trying, trying to get my crocs out so I can drive home.

• 8:10Speaker 03

  You can't even use locker. They don't respect you at all.

• 8:12Speaker 05

  I can't use locker. I was stronger than most of them though, so.

• 8:15Speaker 03

  No, I saw you. You were moving weight.

• 8:18Speaker 05

  I was really going nuts. That helps a lot.

• 8:20Speaker 04

  I got locked out of my locker. I got a full body MRI scan recently.

• 8:23Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 8:23Speaker 04

  And I got locked out of my locker afterwards and there was a woman standing next to me. I know for a fact, you don't have to get naked under the gown. I know for a fact, cause I asked. Woman standing next to me while I'm struggling with the locker, I can't fucking get it. I'm all anxious because I've been in a tube for an hour and a half. I can't get the locker. She's standing next to me, legit, like leaning on her dressing room door. Full ass, butt naked and in the gown.

• 8:45Speaker 05

  We gotta get there though. I'm trying to, I'm trying to take that back. I would, I, we gotta get there.

• 8:49Speaker 04

  You just don't have to get naked under those things.

• 8:51Speaker 03

  Are you a, are you a not a naked person?

• 8:54Speaker 04

  I don't mind. I mean, I'm cool with naked. I'll get naked in the locker room or whatever, but I'm like, you're, this is a hallway of a medical facility. It's not a private area.

• 9:01Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 9:01Speaker 04

  There are people, there are people like coming in, they're like, she's butt ass naked, older woman. And the only reason I knew is because at first she's leaning facing me. So I was like, oh, she's wearing the robe. She turns around to grab something, bends over full spread.

• 9:13Speaker 03

  Wow, she wanted you to see it.

• 9:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't think she wanted me. I think she was very in her power.

• 9:18Speaker 05

  I think that's cool.

• 9:19Speaker 04

  It was cool, but it was just annoying to me because I'm like, you're having a beautiful moment of transcendent like self empowerment. I'm locked out of my locker.

• 9:27Speaker 05

  Which is like, that's gotta bring up all that middle school angst.

• 9:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, I've been in the tube for an hour and a half. Who knows what they found? They're not calling me back. I'm not kidding. Guys, I'm so anxious right now. I called them yesterday and said, hey, I haven't got my results yet. I think I should have. And they go, she goes, yeah, I have them. I'm gonna, uh, email them over and then a nurse will be in touch.

• 9:46Speaker 05

  Ah.

• 9:47Speaker 04

  Didn't email them, no nurse in touch.

• 9:48Speaker 03

  Oh no.

• 9:49Speaker 04

  So all I'm thinking is they're in the boardroom figuring out how to go about this.

• 9:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:52Speaker 05

  You got that new shit.

• 9:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, I got something new.

• 9:54Speaker 05

  You got some new shit.

• 9:55Speaker 04

  They're gonna call me and go, you have everything.

• 9:58Speaker 04

  And I'm scared.

• 10:00Speaker 03

  We've never seen this before, but they mixed all the sodas on you.

• 10:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:03Speaker 03

  You're doing bad.

• 10:04Speaker 04

  They hit a couple, it's Ryan Coogler at the freestyle machine. I was getting involved with everything. I'm in trouble. I'm in big trouble.

• 10:11Speaker 03

  No, if she were the hero she wants to be, she would have helped you get your locker open naked.

• 10:17Speaker 05

  How's she supposed to help him?

• 10:19Speaker 03

  Don't be standing there posing.

• 10:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:21Speaker 03

  Stand up and pull.

• 10:22Speaker 04

  Come over and help him come locker.

• 10:24Speaker 05

  You're hating this free woman. I don't like that.

• 10:26Speaker 03

  I don't like, I don't like her energy.

• 10:27Speaker 04

  I am a little bit.

• 10:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:29Speaker 05

  That's gonna be me, but when I get older, I'm, the more I come into my body, I'm gonna be naked more.

• 10:34Speaker 03

  You're gonna be way more naked.

• 10:35Speaker 05

  Yeah, I think so.

• 10:35Speaker 04

  You think so? You're gonna be a naked old guy? Cause naked old guy is a very particular type of old guy.

• 10:39Speaker 05

  I'm pretty naked in my private life, but it doesn't transfer public at all.

• 10:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:44Speaker 05

  You know what I'm saying? But like around the house and whatnot, yes.

• 10:47Speaker 03

  Even pool, gym, you're, you're not, uh.

• 10:50Speaker 05

  I'm getting better at the pool because I've been swimming.

• 10:52Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 10:52Speaker 05

  And gym, yes, but not like I'd like to be. Like when we went to the spa, that was a big day for me. We went to the spa.

• 11:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:01Speaker 05

  It sounds like we're going on dates. It's just like we.

• 11:04Speaker 04

  No, you guys are hanging out.

• 11:07Speaker 03

  And I've had a nice time.

• 11:08Speaker 05

  We have been having a good time. We went to Top Golf, Top Golf on Saturday night.

• 11:13Speaker 04

  What do you, y'all hang out a lot?

• 11:15Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 11:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:16Speaker 04

  That's beautiful.

• 11:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, we're not tired of each other yet.

• 11:19Speaker 05

  No, it's crazy.

• 11:19Speaker 03

  It'll come. It'll happen.

• 11:21Speaker 05

  We had dinner with our wives the other night and my wife was like, it's crazy you and Langston can still have stuff to talk about.

• 11:29Speaker 04

  That is so fucking funny.

• 11:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're not curious about them at all.

• 11:32Speaker 04

  No.

• 11:33Speaker 03

  We're talking to each other.

• 11:34Speaker 04

  Walking them out of it, yeah.

• 11:34Speaker 05

  No, no, we were just kinda telling each other about our weeks.

• 11:39Speaker 04

  Reg is kind of going over Topgolf.

• 11:40Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:41Speaker 04

  At the dinner.

• 11:43Speaker 05

  No, I didn't even, I didn't even talk to her about Topgolf.

• 11:46Speaker 03

  No, I, I didn't bring it up, um, but that was because I wasn't, again, wasn't good at it.

• 11:52Speaker 05

  You were okay, you were not bad.

• 11:54Speaker 03

  That bummed me out.

• 11:55Speaker 05

  You won two games, I won two games.

• 11:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, but the way you won felt like you earned it and the way I won felt like, um, I got, uh, lucky.

• 12:04Speaker 05

  You're in your head, dog.

• 12:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're in your head on that one. I can feel that you're in your head. You guys are playing against each other?

• 12:09Speaker 05

  Cause you have to.

• 12:10Speaker 04

  Is that how it is?

• 12:11Speaker 03

  That's, that, Topgolf is designed to be, um, bullshit competition because everybody is drunk and nobody knows what they're doing.

• 12:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:19Speaker 03

  Except for that one kid who was next to us.

• 12:21Speaker 05

  We were next to a, a, a young Latino prodigy.

• 12:28Speaker 03

  He was.

• 12:29Speaker 05

  He was going so nuts.

• 12:31Speaker 03

  He was hitting them boys to the Gulf of Mexico.

• 12:33Speaker 05

  To Tigray Woods.

• 12:34Speaker 04

  Just the idea of everyone else drunk and this kid locking the fuck in.

• 12:38Speaker 03

  No, literally, his drunk ass parents, his drunk ass mom was betting him, was being like, I'll bet you twenty dollars you can't hit it over the fence. He'd be like, give me the money. And then, flat, whoo!

• 12:49Speaker 04

  Damn.

• 12:50Speaker 03

  Over the fence.

• 12:51Speaker 05

  His old, older support. His older, you know who couldn't hit was his supportive Cholo father.

• 12:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:58Speaker 05

  That man, this is the first time he had held a golf club not crime related and it showed. He was so bad.

• 13:05Speaker 03

  And you could tell that.

• 13:07Speaker 05

  He had his sunglasses on at Topgolf.

• 13:10Speaker 03

  It's, it's ten PM.

• 13:12Speaker 05

  It was so late. It was so late.

• 13:16Speaker 03

  He's hitting the, he's hitting the balls and they've been talking shit to each other the whole time. He's talking shit to people, the kid is talking shit to people. When the dad hits, nobody talks shit.

• 13:26Speaker 04

  That one goes not too much.

• 13:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, relax, relax, relax.

• 13:29Speaker 05

  And the dad's hitting bad, like shanking straight in front of our shit.

• 13:34Speaker 03

  It's scaring us.

• 13:35Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's so bad, he's so bad at hitting. He's so bad, but he was strong, he looked scary.

• 13:39Speaker 03

  He was, he was a man. He was a man if ever there was one.

• 13:42Speaker 04

  An incredible joke in his hour, I don't know if, I don't think it's come out yet, Steve's hour, but I was at the taping and he was like, he was like talking about how, uh, he was, they were at a Dodgers game and some guy was like racist to them. And so his dad turned around and like punched, like hit him really fucking hard. And Steve's like, it was incredible for us. We were so excited. It was the first time we'd seen him hit someone that wasn't our mom. I was like, Jesus, Steve. He's really, really doing that shit.

• 14:09Speaker 05

  That's really funny though.

• 14:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:11Speaker 04

  It wa, it's a great joke.

• 14:12Speaker 03

  It's a great joke. I love the jokes where, um, where we go, it's a great joke, I don't know what's gonna happen. I have no idea the results of the audience's reaction, but, but we all agree that is a well-written, well-structured piece.

• 14:26Speaker 04

  I'm sad for your family, I'm sad for your mom, but ultimately I'm going, that's a great joke.

• 14:30Speaker 05

  Those are the bits we should all strive for.

• 14:32Speaker 03

  I think so.

• 14:33Speaker 05

  Those are the bits I do in life.

• 14:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:35Speaker 05

  I be sending shit out not knowing if it's gonna land.

• 14:38Speaker 03

  The ones that scare you a little bit.

• 14:39Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, all the time in mixed company.

• 14:42Speaker 04

  Have you had one recently that's, that you were scared wouldn't work out and it did?

• 14:45Speaker 05

  Uh, oh, I feel vindicated because on our podcast I talked about having deli meat at the movies and people have really rallied behind me in some comments.

• 14:53Speaker 04

  You do what?

• 14:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, thank you for, for asking a follow-up question. I was worried you were gonna let that keep free flowing.

• 14:59Speaker 04

  No, I'm interested.

• 15:00Speaker 05

  Well, I'm a free man.

• 15:05Speaker 04

  First of all, let's start with my freedom.

• 15:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're gonna wanna check the Emancipation Proclamation because I am a free man.

• 15:12Speaker 05

  Let's open it up and know that I can't be controlled, contained, boxed, or bottled.

• 15:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:18Speaker 05

  Uh, I sometimes take deli meat to the movies.

• 15:23Speaker 04

  Okay, so what kind, how much?

• 15:25Speaker 05

  Boar's head.

• 15:27Speaker 04

  Boar's head, turkey, ham, salami?

• 15:29Speaker 05

  I like the Cajun chicken, but I, I, I, you know, I go to the deli counter and I kinda do whatever I'm feeling in the moment.

• 15:35Speaker 04

  And then you're taking it in just in the boar's head baggie?

• 15:37Speaker 05

  No, I, a separate baggie.

• 15:39Speaker 04

  Okay, separate baggie.

• 15:39Speaker 03

  He transfers it. He's not unreasonable.

• 15:42Speaker 05

  I'm not taking it because I get it, because I get it like two pounds at a time. I'm not taking two pounds of, of deli meat.

• 15:47Speaker 03

  That would be crazy.

• 15:48Speaker 05

  To see the odyssey that's not.

• 15:50Speaker 04

  How many slices are you genuinely taking in there?

• 15:52Speaker 05

  It's more of a loose grab. I get it deli sliced, but once it's in the pack.

• 15:58Speaker 04

  The, the chicken especially.

• 16:00Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 16:00Speaker 03

  You're eyeballing the amount of deli meat you're bringing in.

• 16:03Speaker 04

  You can't even get it in slices when you're trying to make a sandwich with the chicken, you just have to grab it in hunks.

• 16:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's true.

• 16:08Speaker 04

  I know what you mean, so what are you grabbing, half a pound?

• 16:10Speaker 05

  No! Come on, man!

• 16:13Speaker 04

  I'm asking!

• 16:14Speaker 05

  I'd say for a long movie, we, the last time was Spider-Man, I was probably five ounces.

• 16:21Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 16:22Speaker 05

  Five to six ounces, I'd say.

• 16:23Speaker 04

  And what, you're just, you're just out of the bag, straight to the mouth?

• 16:26Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 16:26Speaker 04

  No like cheese cracker, anything like that?

• 16:28Speaker 05

  No.

• 16:28Speaker 03

  And that's the troubling part for me.

• 16:30Speaker 05

  That's why everybody's so mad.

• 16:31Speaker 03

  I've got no issue with deli meat in the movie theater, I'll bring bullshit in the movie theater.

• 16:35Speaker 05

  You do have an issue with deli meat in the movie theater.

• 16:37Speaker 03

  It's the exclusivity of the deli meat.

• 16:40Speaker 05

  That's.

• 16:41Speaker 03

  I want you to have something else.

• 16:42Speaker 05

  Why? Explain to me why?

• 16:46Speaker 03

  Propriety, respect for others.

• 16:48Speaker 05

  Propriety!

• 16:49Speaker 04

  I think he's right.

• 16:49Speaker 05

  Respect, crackers is respect.

• 16:51Speaker 04

  I think he's right.

• 16:52Speaker 05

  I have some crackers and now I'm respectful.

• 16:54Speaker 03

  Crack, crackers is class. We've all agreed on that, that's what a charcuterie board is.

• 16:58Speaker 04

  You bring Pad Thai to the movies and you're giving him shit?

• 17:01Speaker 03

  I, I've, I've brought a full meal.

• 17:05Speaker 04

  Oh, Langston, I'm not on your team!

• 17:08Speaker 05

  Thank you! Thank you!

• 17:10Speaker 03

  I brought a full meal!

• 17:11Speaker 05

  What's so true to me, Langston's a psychopath!

• 17:16Speaker 03

  That's so much crazier and you make me try to feel bad for deli meat.

• 17:20Speaker 04

  That's crazy.

• 17:22Speaker 03

  I'm saying.

• 17:22Speaker 05

  That's crazy!

• 17:23Speaker 04

  That's actually way crazier than lunch meat and I'm not kidding.

• 17:25Speaker 03

  I don't, I don't agree. I think that now movie theaters, now movie theaters have become dining experiences. We have had full meals at movie theaters, I'm just bringing them full meal on my own.

• 17:37Speaker 04

  They serve like chicken tenders, Langston. It's like finger food.

• 17:42Speaker 05

  That's what I'm saying.

• 17:42Speaker 04

  You're bringing a fork and knife in there?

• 17:44Speaker 05

  There's not a Michelin star at AMC.

• 17:47Speaker 03

  Yet.

• 17:49Speaker 04

  That is completely fair.

• 17:50Speaker 05

  That is fair.

• 17:51Speaker 03

  Yet.

• 17:51Speaker 05

  What I'm saying is that Thai food versus deli meat, deli meat is a lower lift, it's quieter, it's less messy, the smell is less. I think that he is vilifying me and it's, I don't think it's fair.

• 18:07Speaker 04

  I'm at villainizing. And I actually have a note for the Thai community as well.

• 18:11Speaker 03

  Oh, ambitious.

• 18:12Speaker 05

  We've all been waiting for white guy notes on the Thai community.

• 18:16Speaker 04

  You've been waiting and it's time.

• 18:18Speaker 03

  This feels like one of those Steve Hernandez bits.

• 18:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:21Speaker 03

  A little dangerous, a little.

• 18:23Speaker 04

  I wanna speak to the Thai community. Here's what I wanna say, I'm a massive enjoyer of your food, I'm in your restaurants all the time.

• 18:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:30Speaker 04

  Thai people, I'm in your restaurants. Ask any Thai restaurant in America, if I've been in there, you're gonna have, you're gonna have a pretty high hit rate.

• 18:37Speaker 03

  The picture's on the wall and it is signed, absolutely.

• 18:39Speaker 04

  I have been in the Thai restaurants. I think that allows me to speak on what I'm about to speak on.

• 18:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:45Speaker 04

  When we're putting shrimp in a noodle dish or a curry, go ahead and take that tail off for me.

• 18:50Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 18:50Speaker 03

  I like what you're saying.

• 18:51Speaker 04

  What the fuck am I meant to do?

• 18:53Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 18:53Speaker 04

  It's gonna kill you.

• 18:55Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 18:55Speaker 04

  To take the tail off, just slice it before you, cause now I'm grabbing into the curry and yeah, you can take a fork and knife and you can cut it off.

• 19:02Speaker 03

  I, I know.

• 19:03Speaker 04

  I'm in too much of a hurry.

• 19:03Speaker 03

  Let's not make concessions here, you're absolutely right.

• 19:07Speaker 04

  Take the tails off.

• 19:07Speaker 03

  Take the goddamn tails off. You think you leaving that tail on is making me believe in the authenticity of this meal?

• 19:14Speaker 04

  Nope.

• 19:14Speaker 03

  I already believed in it, that's why I came.

• 19:16Speaker 04

  I believed in you.

• 19:17Speaker 03

  Take that fucking tail off.

• 19:18Speaker 04

  I believed in you the whole time and this goes.

• 19:19Speaker 05

  Chop the tail. Because you're only saving us this much meat, right?

• 19:22Speaker 04

  That's right.

• 19:22Speaker 05

  I'm only getting this much extra meat, cause like when you, you know what I mean when you kinda.

• 19:27Speaker 03

  If you do that wiggle, you can get that little.

• 19:29Speaker 05

  You can get that little bit out.

• 19:30Speaker 03

  You can get that little extra.

• 19:31Speaker 05

  But how much protein is that at the end of the day?

• 19:32Speaker 03

  I don't give a fuck, give me that little extra.

• 19:34Speaker 05

  I'm tracking macros.

• 19:36Speaker 04

  But you know what you could do is when it's raw, you just squeeze it so that that little extra piece comes out, I can actually still get that meat.

• 19:42Speaker 05

  That's a good point.

• 19:42Speaker 04

  And I'm asking you, and it's, isn't just Thai folks really, that's just where I end up the most, this applies to all people.

• 19:46Speaker 05

  I was gonna say that, I think, don't even just put it on Thai, I think across the globe.

• 19:50Speaker 04

  I'm realizing that this is mostly, I, I address this to the Thai community because that's where I eat all the time.

• 19:56Speaker 05

  Right.

• 19:56Speaker 04

  I'm really never not at Thai, but I'm guessing maybe there's Italian restaurants that do the same thing and I wouldn't know.

• 20:00Speaker 05

  Allow me to pick up the ball you just passed and say steakhouse community.

• 20:04Speaker 04

  Steakhouse as well. They're putting tail on shrimp in the pastas?

• 20:07Speaker 05

  They think it's so cute to put it on a skewer, it's garlic herb with the, with the tail.

• 20:12Speaker 03

  Here's, here's what they're doing, and I know this is true, when you cook shrimp, if you take the tail off, they get smaller faster.

• 20:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:20Speaker 03

  So they leave the tail on to make them stay fucking plump and shit.

• 20:23Speaker 05

  They're padding the stats.

• 20:24Speaker 03

  They're padding the stats, but take, you have the ability to take that off before you serve it to me.

• 20:29Speaker 04

  Post-cook, pre-serve.

• 20:30Speaker 03

  Come on!

• 20:30Speaker 04

  There's a window.

• 20:31Speaker 05

  And also, how much?

• 20:32Speaker 03

  Before you hand it off, take that tail off.

• 20:35Speaker 05

  Also, corporate America, why are we so greedy? Just give me one more littler shrimp.

• 20:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:39Speaker 05

  Just give me one more smaller shrimp.

• 20:42Speaker 04

  Well, this is what Chinese restaurants, Chinese takeout restaurants innately understand. They'll give you a hundred small shrimps and they have no qualms about it.

• 20:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:49Speaker 04

  Guess what? Not a tail in sight on the small ones.

• 20:51Speaker 03

  No.

• 20:52Speaker 04

  And I'm, I'm into that.

• 20:53Speaker 03

  I was shocked when I found out that shrimp could be as big as they are because I was exclusively getting them out of Chinese food restaurants.

• 21:00Speaker 05

  Shrimp get big, dog.

• 21:01Speaker 03

  Shrimp are fucking huge.

• 21:02Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's kinda scary.

• 21:03Speaker 03

  I thought they were like little itty bitty motherfuckers.

• 21:05Speaker 05

  Nah, man, them things.

• 21:06Speaker 04

  They get big. They could be even like this. Way bigger.

• 21:10Speaker 03

  This guy doesn't know a bitch shrimp?

• 21:12Speaker 04

  Way bigger, David.

• 21:13Speaker 05

  A walnut's like that big?

• 21:14Speaker 03

  Nah, they're way bigger than that.

• 21:15Speaker 04

  Also, dude, there's shrimps that get like this size.

• 21:17Speaker 05

  Oh, okay, okay, okay.

• 21:18Speaker 04

  Like, like, like.

• 21:19Speaker 05

  Like the long ones?

• 21:19Speaker 04

  Tiger shrimp? Is that what they're called?

• 21:21Speaker 05

  I don't like it when they got the legs on there.

• 21:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's a, that's a bummer.

• 21:24Speaker 05

  Legs head on?

• 21:25Speaker 04

  When, here's what I'll tell you. If you're a restaurant that's serving head, tail, legs, and skin on shrimp, you are not interested in serving shrimp.

• 21:32Speaker 05

  No.

• 21:33Speaker 04

  I'm not doing all that.

• 21:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:35Speaker 05

  It's also, but they know what they're doing. Like, you ever get a boil and then you get down to the bottom of the boil, that's like a pound of shrimp carcass.

• 21:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:42Speaker 05

  Like, you, you charged me for that.

• 21:44Speaker 04

  They're padding the stats.

• 21:45Speaker 05

  This is weight.

• 21:46Speaker 03

  Hundred percent.

• 21:47Speaker 04

  It's like when they do chicken, bone in chicken wings.

• 21:49Speaker 05

  Boil. We should start an ethical boil restaurant.

• 21:51Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 21:52Speaker 04

  I'm actually very interested in that.

• 21:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's a good idea.

• 21:54Speaker 03

  True measurement of the meat and not, and not the, the shells and shit.

• 21:58Speaker 05

  We count, we don't even put the other stuff in. We measure your seafood, then we boil, add the potatoes and sausage.

• 22:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, no wa, there's no water weight.

• 22:07Speaker 05

  No water weight.

• 22:08Speaker 04

  And that corn's coming off the cob, by the way.

• 22:10Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 22:10Speaker 04

  Because the cob is weighing shit down.

• 22:12Speaker 05

  A cob is two pounds.

• 22:13Speaker 04

  It's mostly cob.

• 22:14Speaker 05

  It's all cob.

• 22:15Speaker 04

  And they're giving you a lot of cob.

• 22:16Speaker 05

  Cob is fucking trash, dog.

• 22:18Speaker 04

  You can't even do anything with that.

• 22:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 22:20Speaker 04

  It's all cob that's running the scale up.

• 22:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah. No, that's like, that's the equivalent of putting baby laxative in your cocaine. That's what cob is.

• 22:30Speaker 03

  I do really like the idea of you all being like defiant at the register. Like, I, I'm gonna be honest with you, there's a lot of cob in it.

• 22:36Speaker 04

  That's all cob.

• 22:37Speaker 03

  That's all cob.

• 22:37Speaker 05

  I don't even buy food by the weight no more, really.

• 22:40Speaker 03

  No.

• 22:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, isn't that sad?

• 22:41Speaker 05

  Same with like, yeah, man.

• 22:42Speaker 04

  We've lost our way.

• 22:42Speaker 05

  It's fucked. I, same with yogurt. There's a yogurt spot by my house and it's like, oh yeah, you, you, you greet me, you're very nice, you say hi to the dog or whatever, but you're charging me too much for these toppings.

• 22:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, the shenanigans with the yogurt spots are, are intense.

• 22:58Speaker 05

  And I don't even believe you're making money. I think it's a front.

• 23:01Speaker 03

  Oh, you don't think any yogurt spots are making money?

• 23:03Speaker 05

  How much yogurt does anybody sell in a day?

• 23:06Speaker 03

  That's a great question.

• 23:07Speaker 04

  Prime location? You talk of Menchies on a, on a good corner?

• 23:11Speaker 05

  But before Menchies, it was Pinkberry was all the, there, there's always been a Menchies. I don't think it's a lot of money in yogurt.

• 23:17Speaker 04

  You don't think so?

• 23:18Speaker 03

  You think this is the same vibes as like mattress companies?

• 23:21Speaker 05

  I think it's the exact same thing as mattress.

• 23:22Speaker 04

  Something's going on at mattress companies.

• 23:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:25Speaker 05

  And frozen yogurt shops. I think they're in cahoots.

• 23:27Speaker 04

  Dude, when I moved to New York, I went to a mattress, uh, store in, uh, what the fuck is that? Like Atlantic, Brooklyn Atlantic, Terminal, that area.

• 23:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:35Speaker 04

  Um, like the Atlantic Mall or whatever. I went in there, I said, hey, I need a mattress for my guest room. I am not gonna spend more than $500 on this. It needs to be a queen. I said, I'm not spending more than $500 on the guest mattress. When I eventually get a new mattress, I'll put mine in there. Mine's very nice. For now, it's gonna be that. And he goes, he goes, cheapest one we got's $1,400. It's really nice. I go, alright, well, I'm not spending that, so have a good day. He goes, hold on, hold on, hold on. What if I can get it down to $600? I go, I'm, $500's my budget. He goes, I'll give it to you for $500.

• 24:05Speaker 05

  That's also insane.

• 24:06Speaker 04

  You're not running a business!

• 24:07Speaker 03

  No!

• 24:08Speaker 04

  I should have walked out of there without a mattress!

• 24:10Speaker 05

  You're just saying shit!

• 24:11Speaker 03

  Three hundred percent price hike.

• 24:14Speaker 04

  It was like $1,400's best I can do, but if you need five, yeah.

• 24:18Speaker 05

  And I don't like that. It's like buying meat at a foreign market.

• 24:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:22Speaker 05

  Have you ever been?

• 24:23Speaker 04

  I haven't done it.

• 24:23Speaker 03

  We got them.

• 24:24Speaker 04

  We.

• 24:26Speaker 03

  We got them, folks.

• 24:27Speaker 05

  I don't even know what he means like that.

• 24:27Speaker 03

  He called me a psychopath, but guess what? Bigot.

• 24:30Speaker 04

  Bigot. He hates foreign markets. He hates foreign markets.

• 24:33Speaker 05

  This is the King Jimmy Market in Sierra Leone, West Africa, free town. They just say numbers and then you say numbers and then you walk away with some fish.

• 24:41Speaker 03

  Self-hating.

• 24:42Speaker 04

  I've never been to a.

• 24:43Speaker 05

  I'm not self-hating. I'm not self-hating. I'm thrifty. Yo, you really be trying to get on me for being thrifty? We were talking on the phone yesterday and I was in Smart and Final.

• 24:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:53Speaker 05

  And I was like, oh, that's a good deal on Gatorade. And he was like, we gotta get this guy to the suburbs.

• 25:01Speaker 05

  Because I spotted a good deal.

• 25:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:04Speaker 04

  No, I'm like you in that way.

• 25:05Speaker 05

  Yeah, cuz I spotted a good deal.

• 25:07Speaker 03

  It wasn't the spotting a good deal.

• 25:08Speaker 05

  He's post-economic. He doesn't know the price of anything.

• 25:11Speaker 03

  It was the exclaiming on the phone that, that was more troubling for me.

• 25:15Speaker 05

  Oh, I can't, I can't share what I'm going through with my friends.

• 25:18Speaker 04

  Be excited about my life with my money.

• 25:19Speaker 05

  I can't talk to my friends.

• 25:20Speaker 03

  We were in the middle of, of a business conversation. He'd be like, whoa, half off on Gatorade? And it, it just wasn't.

• 25:27Speaker 04

  $1.99 for a 32 ounce. It's a great deal. It's a great deal. Did you grow up poor, Langston?

• 25:32Speaker 03

  Uh, I grew up.

• 25:33Speaker 05

  He did and he forgot.

• 25:36Speaker 03

  I grew up, uh, in a very complicated situation.

• 25:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:41Speaker 03

  Where half the week I was poor and half the week I was not.

• 25:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's complicated.

• 25:45Speaker 03

  So I had, I always had money in my mind, but then would have time where I, I didn't.

• 25:52Speaker 04

  I've always got money in my mind as well. I'll tell you that.

• 25:55Speaker 03

  Grind never stops.

• 25:56Speaker 04

  Well, yeah, the grind never stops. I've never slept a day in my life. One thing I love about doing business with you guys is when we were figuring out, my mama told me, come into Wave.

• 26:03Speaker 03

  And boy, are we grateful for that, by the way.

• 26:06Speaker 04

  I'm so glad.

• 26:06Speaker 03

  Dog, we did that. It boy has changed a lot for us.

• 26:09Speaker 05

  I was just saying, I got a couple extra Gatorades yesterday.

• 26:15Speaker 04

  I was surprised to see the, they sent me the press release and you guys had commented first and then they asked if I wanted to add a comment. And your guys' remark in the press release was that it didn't really make sense that we were friends. And I, and that, that, that hurt. I'm not gonna lie to you, that stung.

• 26:30Speaker 05

  That's how you read it?

• 26:30Speaker 04

  I read that on my Google Pixel and I said, wow. Wow, these guys don't think it makes sense that we're friends. I think it makes perfect sense. I'd die for these guys.

• 26:37Speaker 03

  That was great brand placement. Excellent. They're not gonna notice it at all at home.

• 26:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 26:43Speaker 05

  Let me check the time on my Apple. Oh, no!

• 26:46Speaker 04

  I checked my Google Pixel 10 Pro. No, they actually offered us.

• 26:50Speaker 05

  Can we get some of those since we're on the team now?

• 26:51Speaker 04

  Uh, yeah, you can have one. They, I'll get you a Google Pixel if you want one. No problem.

• 26:56Speaker 03

  Do you really want a Google Pixel?

• 26:57Speaker 05

  I want some free shit.

• 26:58Speaker 03

  Fuck yeah.

• 26:59Speaker 04

  I'm a Google Pixel user. I'm on green text, dude.

• 27:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was, I was surprised when we green texted.

• 27:04Speaker 04

  It's cuz people leave me alone more.

• 27:06Speaker 05

  I like that.

• 27:07Speaker 04

  And I like that. I get put on less group texts.

• 27:09Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 27:09Speaker 04

  A lot of people from my past that really should, some of them shouldn't be reaching out. Some of them should. I love people from my past. But some people who shouldn't be reaching out are, are, uh, texting mutual friends and then going, I think Caleb changed his phone number. That's good that you think that. That's for the best.

• 27:23Speaker 03

  The presumption is somebody with money always has an Apple product and therefore the fact that you don't means that you are not yourself. Something has changed.

• 27:31Speaker 04

  And we're talking, like, when I say that, I'm talking like person I was in one study group with freshman year of college. I've had this phone number since I was in sixth grade.

• 27:40Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 27:41Speaker 04

  So there are people reaching out sometimes that I'm like, you don't really have any business reaching out to me.

• 27:45Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:46Speaker 04

  It's for the best if you think I changed my number.

• 27:47Speaker 05

  No, you gotta switch that shit. I, I've had, I've had, probably had seven phone numbers as an adult.

• 27:52Speaker 04

  Really?

• 27:53Speaker 03

  Wow. I'm on the same shit.

• 27:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:55Speaker 03

  I haven't changed my phone number since I was a kid.

• 27:57Speaker 05

  That, that, uh, that shows me a level of stability in your life that maybe I didn't have.

• 28:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:05Speaker 03

  No, one thing my mom made sure of.

• 28:07Speaker 05

  I've had so many phone numbers.

• 28:09Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 28:10Speaker 05

  I used to wait, when it was Metro PCS, I just wouldn't pay the bill anymore. And then you would pay the bill back and they'd have already given away your number.

• 28:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, I go, sorry, brother. We had other plans for that number.

• 28:22Speaker 03

  We actually didn't think we were gonna hear from you again.

• 28:23Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we already ported your shit. It's some guy selling weed in Oakland now.

• 28:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 28:28Speaker 05

  And then you're getting like wrong text messages all the time. Yeah, I've had so many. Cuz I don't like to be contacted either. I really don't love it.

• 28:35Speaker 04

  It gets to be too much. It's too many, it's the, it's, it's Instagram, email, phone call, text message. It starts to be, and there's a, there's a version of it that's like, oh, it's beautiful that I have so many like people in my life. But it gets to be too much where it's like people are reaching out for stupid crazy bullshit.

• 28:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:50Speaker 04

  And I'm like, you gotta, I gotta, you gotta leave me alone. All my, all my day is correspondence.

• 28:54Speaker 05

  Yeah, and then it's like, you don't respond to the right things. Speaking of which, hey, could I put in a sandwich order for this? I did not respond to that.

• 29:01Speaker 04

  To a sandwich order for today?

• 29:02Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 29:03Speaker 04

  Have we ordered yet?

• 29:03Speaker 05

  Is it too late?

• 29:04Speaker 04

  Let's do, let's do another order.

• 29:05Speaker 05

  Fuck!

• 29:06Speaker 04

  No, what do you want? It's not too late. It's not too late.

• 29:08Speaker 05

  Can I get the roast beef as well? Thank you.

• 29:10Speaker 04

  No, of course we'll get you a sandwich.

• 29:11Speaker 05

  That was one I, I realized I didn't.

• 29:13Speaker 04

  You just in this moment?

• 29:14Speaker 05

  I was like, no, I brought it up in the car, but then I was like in my head about it and I was like, it's too late.

• 29:19Speaker 04

  You can always ask.

• 29:20Speaker 05

  And Langston didn't help. He was just like, ha, ha, ha, you fool.

• 29:24Speaker 04

  No, Michelle loves, she, Michelle loves helping other people. She doesn't love doing anything for me, but she loves, she would love to get you a sandwich.

• 29:31Speaker 05

  That's probably healthy though, right?

• 29:32Speaker 03

  That's actually the way it's supposed to be.

• 29:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, I think that's, you guys have a fun thing. I could feel it.

• 29:37Speaker 03

  No, she loves that energy.

• 29:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, shit. She's, yeah, yeah, can't, talk shit on me on your huge podcast. That's awesome.

• 29:47Speaker 03

  No, yeah, don't give me a microphone.

• 29:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 29:48Speaker 03

  Don't allow me to defend myself.

• 29:50Speaker 04

  No, but this actually brings up a good point, which I was gonna say earlier, which is doing business with you two is very interesting because it's kind of like, do you know how when you have a, you're friends with a couple and there's a correspondent partner and then a shows up partner?

• 30:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:03Speaker 05

  This is gonna hurt?

• 30:04Speaker 04

  No. It's not, it's not intended to hurt. Langston hits that fucking phone.

• 30:09Speaker 05

  Langston does hit that phone.

• 30:11Speaker 04

  David pops in just at the key moment and I picked up on that.

• 30:14Speaker 05

  But here's the thing. Behind the scenes, it is constant communication. He's a better face for this thing that we got. He's a much better face.

• 30:23Speaker 04

  I would say something and then I would, I would, there would be a break where I was like, they are conferring and then Langston would say, that sounds good to us. And I would say, they talked.

• 30:32Speaker 05

  He's, he's so eloquent. He types so fast. It's coming from us.

• 30:36Speaker 03

  Someone has described our relationship as I am the mommy and he is the daddy and it.

• 30:43Speaker 04

  Who did that?

• 30:43Speaker 03

  I, I don't, I don't wanna talk about it.

• 30:48Speaker 03

  It's not important.

• 30:50Speaker 05

  That means there was somebody close to you.

• 30:53Speaker 03

  I said, I said, you shut up, woman!

• 30:57Speaker 04

  Yeah. He was always saying that, which is.

• 30:59Speaker 05

  It was his son?

• 31:03Speaker 04

  Shut up woman to your son.

• 31:05Speaker 03

  It's the only way I can take the power back.

• 31:08Speaker 05

  That sucks. You, that must, it must have hurt you because yeah, you never told me that till just now.

• 31:12Speaker 03

  No, yeah, it stung really bad and I'm sorry I got vulnerable, but uh.

• 31:16Speaker 04

  That's so fucking funny.

• 31:17Speaker 05

  But we are on the same page though.

• 31:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:20Speaker 05

  Much like a relationship should be, but it's just, you are so much better. I feel like when I try to respond to things, it comes off clunky.

• 31:29Speaker 03

  Think you're in your head.

• 31:30Speaker 04

  Okay, you're in your head, I'm not.

• 31:31Speaker 05

  That's my top goal.

• 31:32Speaker 03

  I, I also know that I, I'm quick on the draw, so I don't mind being the, the person.

• 31:37Speaker 04

  I will say that was, when, when we had keeping records, my first podcast like way back with Shelby Wolstein, Shelby was the communicator.

• 31:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:44Speaker 04

  It'd be like something from whoever and Shelby would be the first one to be like, hey Caleb, like she was on it.

• 31:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:50Speaker 04

  And I was like, thank God for her.

• 31:51Speaker 03

  Is that not your?

• 31:52Speaker 05

  That's how I feel now.

• 31:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:54Speaker 03

  Your natural instinct, you, because you're juggling so many people, is that where, where you start, stop wanting to respond quickly or is it your natural instinct?

• 32:02Speaker 04

  No, I'm a responder. I'm, I do a lot of things. I, I, I'd say I'm mostly, I err more on the side of doing things myself than I do asking for help, but I'm getting better and better. I'm getting better and better at asking for help, I think. I think. I'm looking, I'm checking.

• 32:17Speaker 03

  He says to his associates, both with no microphone. Yeah.

• 32:20Speaker 04

  No, no, there's a microphone over there. Chance gets one.

• 32:22Speaker 05

  Oh, Chance gets one.

• 32:23Speaker 03

  Chance, Chance laughed but did not affirm and that, that is troubling.

• 32:28Speaker 04

  Am I getting better at asking for help or am I still annoying and I do things my own, I, and I do them badly and then everyone gets annoyed with me?

• 32:34Speaker 05

  You're the most perfect man on God's earth.

• 32:36Speaker 04

  See, but then sometimes you get that. I tried to get my managers yesterday to tell me a moment that I had been a diva if, on an, on episode in a funny way. And they, they were like, I mean, you're great. And I was like, whoa.

• 32:47Speaker 05

  Yeah, man. You've been in show business? What did you think was gonna happen?

• 32:51Speaker 04

  I didn't think that was my setup. I will say they called back two minutes later and they found one.

• 32:56Speaker 04

  So that was a nice balance.

• 32:58Speaker 03

  Okay, so they did come up with something.

• 33:00Speaker 04

  They came up with something, but they had to get off the phone and kind of, uh, figure out what was safe to say.

• 33:04Speaker 03

  That, that's the thing.

• 33:05Speaker 04

  That's what it was.

• 33:06Speaker 03

  Because they all had a thing immediately in their head.

• 33:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:09Speaker 03

  They knew exactly what it was the second you asked the question.

• 33:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:12Speaker 03

  But then they had to confer with each other to make sure that it was okay to say the thing that popped in their head.

• 33:18Speaker 05

  I mean, I will say within this business relationship that we've all entered in now, I want some of that. I don't have any diva, I don't think.

• 33:25Speaker 04

  You wanna be a diva?

• 33:26Speaker 05

  Neither of us do. We don't have much of it.

• 33:28Speaker 03

  No, there's not a lot of diva behavior.

• 33:30Speaker 05

  Thank you, thank you for the honor.

• 33:37Speaker 04

  This episode is brought to you by Hinge. Look, dating can be a goddamn nightmare. It can be a daunting and difficult thing to navigate, but thankfully our friends at Hinge are here to help. Hinge is the dating app designed to be, you guessed it, deleted. It's for people dating with intention, going on dates, putting themselves out there. Hinge is designed for finding connections. What makes Hinge the ideal dating app is its user-friendly layout and its interactive prompts feature that allow you to ask potential suitors questions or pick topics to get the conversation going without the awkward ice breaking phase. What we hear is so true, the whole team love the most about Hinge, and we're always bringing this up, has got to be the signals feature, which allows you to see what profiles thoughtfully engage with their matches. I mean, who doesn't love thoughtful engagement?

• 34:24Speaker 04

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• 34:42Speaker 03

  For you?

• 34:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, give them, you, you know me best, give them a reflection of me.

• 34:46Speaker 03

  Oh, wow. A great smile and he always picks up the check.

• 34:51Speaker 04

  That's actually, yeah, that's actually really nice. Oh, actually Nicole Clip, that's sent that to me.

• 34:57Speaker 04

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• 35:39Speaker 04

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• 36:31Speaker 04

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• 37:45Speaker 04

  Wait, so you wanna, you guys wanna start taking up some diva?

• 37:47Speaker 03

  I think we, I think we need to start taking up a little more space.

• 37:52Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 37:52Speaker 03

  I wanna talk down to a few people.

• 37:54Speaker 05

  Somebody, man.

• 37:55Speaker 04

  We can arrange that.

• 37:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:56Speaker 05

  Somebody. It's just the dog right now and that's getting fucked up.

• 38:00Speaker 04

  You can start with Chance. Honestly, like if you ever need to talk down to somebody.

• 38:03Speaker 05

  We already hugged to me.

• 38:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:05Speaker 04

  Fuck.

• 38:05Speaker 05

  We opened it up to.

• 38:06Speaker 04

  Nicole would be a good person. She's really.

• 38:08Speaker 05

  You know that, come on, she's in the back.

• 38:10Speaker 04

  Nicole's a ride or die.

• 38:12Speaker 03

  But Nicole, Nicole has been doing such beautiful work for us, we'd be fools to build a bridge with her.

• 38:17Speaker 04

  That's the problem.

• 38:18Speaker 05

  We're really in bed in a way that's.

• 38:22Speaker 04

  If you guys are in with Nicole, that sucks. I don't know who you could talk down to because it's gonna need to be somebody who works with you. Otherwise, you're talking down to a stranger and that doesn't.

• 38:30Speaker 03

  I think.

• 38:30Speaker 05

  I've been doing that more since I started driving in traffic and stuff like that. I'm talking down to strangers.

• 38:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're doing it passenger side too.

• 38:38Speaker 05

  Okay, yes.

• 38:42Speaker 04

  All right, all right, good note.

• 38:44Speaker 03

  I, I would say in this relationship, I do most of the driving.

• 38:47Speaker 05

  He does do all the driving, yeah.

• 38:49Speaker 03

  And, and, uh, and if, if somebody walks in front of the car, David will, will roll down the passenger window and be like, boo!

• 39:01Speaker 03

  Very confrontational in a way that I'm not ready for, but he.

• 39:05Speaker 05

  It's not if somebody, it's, there's been a transgression. I'm not just doing it, but I will boo people, I will boo people.

• 39:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:12Speaker 05

  Out of the car.

• 39:13Speaker 04

  I get, in Kansas City in particular, the drivers there are so, Kansas City is becoming, first of all, it's a lot of drivers from the suburbs or the country.

• 39:22Speaker 03

  Right.

• 39:22Speaker 04

  And they come in and are unfamiliar with how to, uh, behave in an urban place.

• 39:26Speaker 03

  Right.

• 39:26Speaker 04

  Like a city that has different things going on, like pedestrians and cyclists.

• 39:29Speaker 03

  Right.

• 39:30Speaker 04

  And Kansas City is getting more and more like pedestrian lanes and bicycle lanes and stuff, which is awesome. I spend a lot of my time in driving in Kansas City. I'm stopped for a, it'll be a busy street where, where people go 40, 45 miles an hour. And then there'll be a crosswalk and a pedestrian trying to cross. I stop at the fucking thing. It's not a stoplight, but it's the crossing, cars zipping through there, just like would hit a single mother with a fucking.

• 39:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:52Speaker 04

  I'm laying on my horn for like full minutes, just being like, do you see this like woman trying to like? And they want, they just can't, they're like, they're looking at me going, and I'm like, what do you mean?

• 40:03Speaker 03

  That's a human being you're gonna kill.

• 40:04Speaker 04

  I get so pissed off. I'm like, we need to be a real place.

• 40:07Speaker 05

  Is KC pedestrian heavy?

• 40:09Speaker 04

  That, no, that's the thing, but it's getting more and more as it gets denser and denser. And we have this street car that started to, we have a free street car.

• 40:17Speaker 05

  Oh, that's fun.

• 40:17Speaker 04

  People are using like public transit and bicycles more and more there.

• 40:21Speaker 05

  Do, I have a question being from Denver.

• 40:23Speaker 04

  Tell me.

• 40:24Speaker 05

  Do people hate bicyclists in Kansas City?

• 40:26Speaker 04

  Yes, and it's so fucking stupid.

• 40:28Speaker 05

  Dog, in Denver, that's a personality.

• 40:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, hating cyclists.

• 40:31Speaker 05

  They hate people.

• 40:32Speaker 03

  Oh, hating a cyclist is a personality.

• 40:34Speaker 05

  They hate the culture.

• 40:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:36Speaker 05

  It's like that. Cause I got into bicycling the last time I was living in Denver.

• 40:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:41Speaker 05

  And yeah, they don't like you, they don't like it at all.

• 40:43Speaker 03

  Holy shit.

• 40:44Speaker 05

  It's like being a motorcyclist.

• 40:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:46Speaker 04

  Well, I'm, fuck the motorcycle people. That's where I'm at.

• 40:49Speaker 05

  Oh, really?

• 40:50Speaker 04

  These motherfuckers, especially in LA, they are splitting lanes, going so fast, and then they have the fucking audacity to be like, watch out for motorcyclists. Bitch, you watch out for you.

• 41:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:01Speaker 04

  Stop doing that shit.

• 41:02Speaker 03

  And here's the thing, internationally, they're splitting lanes, but there's so many motorcycles everywhere that you just know to be ready for a motorcyclist.

• 41:12Speaker 05

  Are you talking about Asia?

• 41:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, but even like I went to Greece and they're like always in the middle lanes and shit.

• 41:17Speaker 05

  Greek people love a motorcycle.

• 41:18Speaker 03

  They love the motorcycles out there. That's their shit, more than Taziki, I would say.

• 41:24Speaker 03

  They're all motorcycles.

• 41:25Speaker 04

  They're not really splitting lanes at 90 miles an hour though.

• 41:27Speaker 03

  But that's the thing, they're going at a reasonable pace and they are constant. So I know they're coming. Out here, it's a motorcycle splitting lanes every like 10 minutes.

• 41:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:38Speaker 03

  So I'm not even prepared for you like that. And now suddenly I gotta not kill this man.

• 41:42Speaker 05

  Comes zooming by on his, on his.

• 41:44Speaker 04

  And you're going 90. You're going like 80, you're going so fast on this thing.

• 41:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:48Speaker 04

  I'm like, it's crazy. It real, they drive me nuts.

• 41:50Speaker 03

  You ever had a motorcyclist scold you?

• 41:53Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 41:53Speaker 03

  When they're, they're splitting lanes and then they, they get mad at you cause you weren't over enough or started to go and didn't see them type shit?

• 42:01Speaker 04

  Yeah. I've had, I've had one stop and bang on the hood.

• 42:04Speaker 03

  It's nuts.

• 42:05Speaker 04

  And I didn't even roll my window and I was just like, get, get the, get the fuck out of here. I just literally did this. I was like, what are you, I'm not gonna fight with you on your motorcycle. Now you're standing still in a highway. Go.

• 42:15Speaker 05

  I'm in a car.

• 42:16Speaker 04

  I'm in a car.

• 42:17Speaker 03

  You're wearing a helmet. I'm not gonna.

• 42:18Speaker 05

  I'm more successful than you.

• 42:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, that's what it is.

• 42:21Speaker 05

  I got a whole vehicle.

• 42:22Speaker 04

  That's what it is. I'm a man.

• 42:23Speaker 05

  I'm a man.

• 42:24Speaker 04

  You should be scared of my car.

• 42:25Speaker 05

  You're in the air force.

• 42:26Speaker 04

  That, people who hate bicyclists.

• 42:30Speaker 05

  I'm just kidding.

• 42:31Speaker 04

  What branch of the military you guys think you'd be in if you were in the military?

• 42:34Speaker 05

  The Air Force. What's the scariest, cattiest one?

• 42:37Speaker 04

  You think so?

• 42:38Speaker 05

  I always heard that the Air Force was more like you use your brain to get out of things.

• 42:44Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 42:45Speaker 05

  That would be, yeah, I don't, I don't want, I don't think I'd be a Marine, that's for sure.

• 42:49Speaker 04

  I don't think you'd be a Marine.

• 42:51Speaker 05

  I appreciate that, I guess.

• 42:52Speaker 04

  I don't, and I don't want that.

• 42:53Speaker 05

  No, no, no. I, I think, I think Air Force or Navy is probably where I'd end up.

• 42:57Speaker 04

  I prefer you in the Air Force.

• 42:58Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 42:59Speaker 04

  I like that for you.

• 43:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think in my heart of hearts, I wish I could be a Marine. Um, but I, I think ultimately, not, not in real life, I think that shit's awful, but, but, uh, not a fan. Um,

• 43:16Speaker 03

  not exactly rooting for what we got going on.

• 43:18Speaker 04

  I don't love the missions we're going on, actually. Not a big supporter of what we do with that.

• 43:23Speaker 03

  Let's see what SEAL Team One is up to. Um, but, yeah, I don't know. We've seen what Six is doing, and I don't care if it'll work.

• 43:30Speaker 05

  You're like, let's, cause One is better than Six.

• 43:32Speaker 03

  One might be better.

• 43:33Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 43:33Speaker 03

  Uh, point being, I think I'd probably end up in Navy. That feels more accurate.

• 43:37Speaker 04

  I think you guys, I'm just in this moment.

• 43:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:40Speaker 04

  Thinking you guys would be so sick in a war movie. As like guys in the trenches together.

• 43:44Speaker 05

  It would have to be a war movie, but at the, it would have to be during a time that they instituted the draft.

• 43:51Speaker 04

  Right.

• 43:52Speaker 05

  I don't think anybody would believe that we both willingly signed up to war. But it would be me and you like in a kitchen like, damn, I miss Kansas City.

• 44:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You got a girl back home?

• 44:06Speaker 04

  Little picture in your helmet, yeah.

• 44:09Speaker 05

  You guys would be sick in a war movie.

• 44:11Speaker 03

  Wow, she's a beaut.

• 44:16Speaker 04

  Bullets flying.

• 44:24Speaker 04

  I would actually love that if anyone out there's a screenwriter.

• 44:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:27Speaker 04

  I would write a script for these guys to be war buddies. And I'd love to be in there if I could, but I understand it mostly about them.

• 44:32Speaker 05

  You could also work in, we could all work in a kitchen or a galley.

• 44:35Speaker 04

  I could be a small role. I could be a small role.

• 44:36Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 44:37Speaker 04

  It'll mostly be about you guys and they'll just maybe throw me in as like, you know, the dumb guy off to the side.

• 44:42Speaker 03

  You're handing in that memo to the general that then clears us, uh, from, from being, uh, court martial.

• 44:50Speaker 05

  Right. I do want to interject. I don't think you could play a dumb guy.

• 44:53Speaker 04

  Yes, I could.

• 44:54Speaker 05

  I don't think so.

• 44:56Speaker 04

  David?

• 44:56Speaker 05

  Uh, this is a compliment. I, I, I, I can't. Do, say a dumb guy thing right now.

• 45:04Speaker 04

  Um.

• 45:04Speaker 05

  You're blowing it.

• 45:07Speaker 04

  Almost totally the way a dumb guy says something.

• 45:09Speaker 05

  Not the way that you did it. Not the way, not the way that you did it.

• 45:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, you can see your eyes searching for information.

• 45:16Speaker 05

  Yeah, there was, there's so much thought. There's so much thought behind it.

• 45:21Speaker 04

  You said dumb guy.

• 45:23Speaker 03

  If they went, if they went cross, then we would have known you were in character.

• 45:26Speaker 05

  If you said, uh.

• 45:28Speaker 04

  I could play a dumb guy, David.

• 45:30Speaker 05

  You say a dumb guy thing.

• 45:32Speaker 04

  Fucking, like, it's like, would you say a dumb guy thing?

• 45:38Speaker 05

  I think the Pats are gonna win.

• 45:41Speaker 04

  That's really funny. That's really funny, but you're not a dumb guy.

• 45:45Speaker 03

  That was pretty good.

• 45:45Speaker 04

  I want to be a dumb guy.

• 45:46Speaker 05

  I cosplay dumb, though.

• 45:48Speaker 04

  I hit a pretty sweet lick in some of the, in Chicago, right at the end of me being in Chicago. I got to play the dumb white guy in a lot of like, uh, diversity showcase sketches.

• 45:58Speaker 05

  Well, I mean, I think.

• 45:59Speaker 04

  That was fun.

• 46:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:00Speaker 05

  I think the, I think that black women are so talented, they could make anybody look like the dumb guy.

• 46:06Speaker 04

  That's actually true.

• 46:07Speaker 05

  That's like the easiest place to do it.

• 46:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:09Speaker 05

  That's the dumbest I ever looked at.

• 46:11Speaker 04

  Okay. That actually really does push up against my narrative a little bit that I was a good actor.

• 46:15Speaker 03

  No, I.

• 46:16Speaker 04

  Maybe I was just part of a good company.

• 46:20Speaker 04

  Fuck.

• 46:20Speaker 03

  Maybe Tisha was carrying the whole thing.

• 46:27Speaker 04

  Fuck, okay, okay. Let's cut for a little bit. We'll come back after lunch. This has been really, really informative.

• 46:32Speaker 03

  Do a lap? Everybody do a lap?

• 46:34Speaker 05

  You edit out the whole dumb guy thing. Just cut back into me saying the Pats are gonna win.

• 46:38Speaker 03

  I, I think you can play a dumb guy. I think, I think.

• 46:41Speaker 05

  I don't think either of you could play dumb.

• 46:42Speaker 03

  I think I would struggle with it, but I think it is all possible if, if you are, you are handed the right circumstance. It's the right flavor of dumb.

• 46:51Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 46:52Speaker 03

  I don't think we give enough credit to how dumb you can be while also being articulate. And, and that.

• 46:58Speaker 05

  Now it just feels like you're campaigning for yourself.

• 47:00Speaker 03

  I'm a dumb guy.

• 47:01Speaker 04

  You're not a dumb guy.

• 47:02Speaker 03

  I'm a, I'm a not smart guy, more than you realize.

• 47:06Speaker 04

  You guys are brilliant, charming, lovely people.

• 47:08Speaker 03

  That.

• 47:08Speaker 04

  Both of you.

• 47:09Speaker 05

  Have you ever huffed paint?

• 47:11Speaker 04

  Have you?

• 47:12Speaker 05

  Yes. And oven cleaner. I could play a dumb guy. Gimme some paint.

• 47:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:19Speaker 04

  Why were you huffing oven cleaner?

• 47:20Speaker 05

  Because it was a snowstorm, Caleb.

• 47:25Speaker 03

  You're being unreasonable. You're asking the wrong question.

• 47:28Speaker 04

  That's on me. That's one a hundred percent on me.

• 47:31Speaker 03

  Hey, if you want this show to work, you're gonna have to ask better questions.

• 47:34Speaker 04

  Yeah. This show does not work, first of all. The So True Podcast does not work.

• 47:41Speaker 04

  It's not, it's a miracle that people listen to this garbage. I can't believe it. Every week we put on an episode, I go, people are listening to this?

• 47:48Speaker 03

  We, yeah, we feel the same.

• 47:49Speaker 05

  Yeah, you think we feel different?

• 47:51Speaker 03

  Almost every time, we're like, I can't believe that this is, this is even getting a little bit of traction.

• 47:56Speaker 04

  How did you, how did you guys start the show?

• 47:58Speaker 05

  Langston started the show.

• 47:59Speaker 03

  I started it, uh, in the pandemic, uh, as we all did with podcasts, the desperate and alone. Um, and assuming comedy will never come back. But, but ultimately it was just, um, black conspiracy theories and conspiracy theory in general is my favorite thing. And so like it, it just became like a great, uh, fun premise, but I was doing it alone and it did not work. It was like truly a, a, you're sitting down with a stranger and I'm a silly billy. So I, I'll talk about conspiracy all day, but I don't mean any of it. And then I'm talking to grownups who are either taking

• 48:40Speaker 03

  it very seriously or, or not at all. And I don't know how to manage that behavior. And it wasn't until he came on that I think it really, uh, figured itself out.

• 48:51Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 48:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:53Speaker 04

  I see that.

• 48:54Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'd say that.

• 48:54Speaker 04

  I see that.

• 48:55Speaker 03

  A home needs a dad. It can't just be mom.

• 48:58Speaker 04

  Who said this?

• 49:00Speaker 04

  Who said this?

• 49:01Speaker 05

  Somebody fucked you up.

• 49:05Speaker 05

  Somebody fucked you up. Who? And I feel like we gotta just talk about it to get past it.

• 49:09Speaker 03

  A home needs a dad, they said.

• 49:11Speaker 04

  Who said this? I can't get over who said this. It's so, it's so scary to think about who said this. It's like, there's no way the answer would be anywhere near as scary as, just everyone I meet for the rest of my life could be the person who said this. Like, they walk among us. Anyone could be the person who said this.

• 49:34Speaker 03

  It's like that movie Fallen.

• 49:37Speaker 04

  So scary to think of who said this.

• 49:40Speaker 03

  They're all demons.

• 49:41Speaker 05

  How long ago was it that they said it?

• 49:42Speaker 03

  It was fairly recent.

• 49:43Speaker 05

  I could tell.

• 49:44Speaker 03

  It's sitting at the front of my mind.

• 49:45Speaker 05

  We talk a lot and you've never said anything.

• 49:48Speaker 03

  And I know I wasn't gonna bring it up ever.

• 49:50Speaker 05

  And I don't feel like it's an accurate assessment of our relationship.

• 49:53Speaker 04

  What do you feel like it misses?

• 49:59Speaker 03

  I feel like, cause I'm checking my spreadsheet, it's in all the numbers.

• 50:02Speaker 05

  I feel like you're trying to drag me into deep waters to drown me right now and I don't appreciate it.

• 50:09Speaker 04

  What does it miss? What does it not get right?

• 50:12Speaker 05

  I don't think that I have the daddy energy, like, I don't think people are looking at a relationship like David pays all the bills.

• 50:20Speaker 03

  I think you're assuming a very, um, specific version of mommy daddy relationship.

• 50:25Speaker 05

  That's fair.

• 50:26Speaker 03

  That, that maybe, maybe you gotta unpack.

• 50:28Speaker 05

  Oh, maybe I'm outdated.

• 50:29Speaker 03

  Maybe, maybe daddy doesn't have to pay all the bills. My mommy paid all the bills.

• 50:33Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm, same.

• 50:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:34Speaker 05

  Same.

• 50:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:35Speaker 04

  That's interesting, though. That your, your mom paid all the bills and yet you, you said that it was dad that would pay all the bills. That's interesting. I wonder why.

• 50:43Speaker 05

  Well, there, there was not a dad to pay the bills.

• 50:45Speaker 04

  Say that.

• 50:46Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 50:47Speaker 05

  I assume had there been one.

• 50:48Speaker 03

  Touche.

• 50:48Speaker 05

  I assume that's what daddy's.

• 50:50Speaker 04

  Hold on, good point. Three, three guys with moms who paid all the bills being like, so, a dad.

• 50:57Speaker 05

  Yeah, let's talk to us about what dads do.

• 51:01Speaker 04

  So if a dad were around, I guess, what, he would pay the bills?

• 51:04Speaker 05

  Yeah. A gay guy, a poetry major and a soft boy. Let's talk.

• 51:11Speaker 05

  Let's really get into that dad shit.

• 51:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, the manosphere just got bigger, folks. Yeah.

• 51:20Speaker 03

  Got three new contestants in the manosphere games.

• 51:26Speaker 04

  Oh shit, that is so funny.

• 51:28Speaker 00

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• 52:27Speaker 06

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• 52:55Speaker 04

  Langston, you told me not to have kids recently.

• 53:03Speaker 05

  You've been having a rough week?

• 53:06Speaker 03

  I don't remember saying it, but it does sound like me.

• 53:09Speaker 04

  I was like, I don't even remember how it came up. I was talking about like, I don't know, wanting kids or something, or how beautiful it is to have kids. And you, you think you were on vacation and you were like, there's not a moment of fucking peace.

• 53:21Speaker 04

  All it is, is it's just parenting somewhere else. That's what vacation is now.

• 53:25Speaker 03

  I do remember, we were in Greece.

• 53:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:27Speaker 03

  And, and you, you were saying how beautiful the vacation sounded.

• 53:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:32Speaker 03

  And then I said, I, my children go to bed at, at 8pm and therefore I have to go to bed at 8pm.

• 53:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:38Speaker 03

  And in that way, I, um, I will never know a vacation ever again.

• 53:42Speaker 04

  And I don't recommend it.

• 53:43Speaker 05

  You don't ever sound rested when you come home from vacation?

• 53:47Speaker 03

  I'm not. I've.

• 53:49Speaker 04

  No, I'm not.

• 53:49Speaker 03

  I'm not.

• 53:50Speaker 05

  I remember when you guys came back from Hawaii, I was like, oh man. And you were like, it's just.

• 53:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, I'm, I'm keeping people from drowning for, for eight hours of my day. It's not rest. That's. It's, it's anxiety, but, but they're having a blast. And in that way, I go, I did it. I did everything I was supposed to do.

• 54:09Speaker 05

  You did, cause your family does seem so happy.

• 54:11Speaker 03

  They're so happy.

• 54:12Speaker 05

  They're so happy.

• 54:13Speaker 03

  That's all I need.

• 54:14Speaker 05

  Yeah, man.

• 54:15Speaker 03

  That is my pleasure is that they're happy and, and sure, I'm gonna write nasty things about them.

• 54:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:20Speaker 03

  I'm gonna say nasty things about them on podcasts. That's the only freedom I have.

• 54:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:25Speaker 03

  Because otherwise I serve them.

• 54:27Speaker 04

  If that's what it is, that's not gonna work for me.

• 54:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:30Speaker 04

  If parenthood is that.

• 54:33Speaker 04

  Their joy is enough?

• 54:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:35Speaker 04

  That would have to find a different way to do it.

• 54:39Speaker 04

  Skip it altogether, cause that one's not gonna work for me personally. That's not my idea of how it'll go.

• 54:44Speaker 03

  And so in that way, I was giving you great advice for, from me.

• 54:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:48Speaker 03

  But maybe somebody else is gonna do this better than I am.

• 54:50Speaker 04

  From the heart.

• 54:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:51Speaker 05

  But he also loves it. So it's like, interesting is weird.

• 54:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, I, I really like them. They're good, they're good people.

• 54:57Speaker 04

  Are you gonna do it? You gonna be a dad?

• 55:00Speaker 05

  I, yeah, probably.

• 55:01Speaker 04

  You think so? Okay.

• 55:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:03Speaker 04

  I see that. You're gonna be, you, I, I like that. I like.

• 55:06Speaker 05

  I think I'm more worried about the dad stuff. I like packing.

• 55:09Speaker 04

  You like what?

• 55:09Speaker 05

  I like, like packing and stuff.

• 55:11Speaker 03

  I think he's gonna be, he's gonna be like, uh, he goes to the beach with like a cooler and like, he brought shrimp cocktail to the beach.

• 55:18Speaker 04

  Did you?

• 55:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:20Speaker 04

  I'm scared. What, you said you like packing? So you're worried about being a dad? I don't know if I'm.

• 55:23Speaker 05

  No, I'm not worried. I, I think, I think that, I think that I almost have stolen valor with being a dad where I like all this stuff, but with no kids.

• 55:32Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 55:32Speaker 05

  Not in a weird way, but just like, uh, you know what I mean?

• 55:35Speaker 04

  I got what you mean. You're good at dad tasks.

• 55:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 55:37Speaker 03

  He brought a kite.

• 55:39Speaker 05

  And it was great, right?

• 55:40Speaker 03

  It was a great kite.

• 55:43Speaker 04

  I tried to find a kite the other day. I was having a park hang with my friends and I was like, we do need a kite.

• 55:47Speaker 05

  Caleb, get you a kite.

• 55:49Speaker 03

  It's pretty cool.

• 55:50Speaker 05

  I was in Big Five the other day. They got all kinds of stuff.

• 55:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:53Speaker 05

  They got lugs in there.

• 55:55Speaker 03

  The boot?

• 55:55Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 55:56Speaker 03

  Are you familiar with lugs?

• 55:57Speaker 04

  I know lugs.

• 55:58Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 55:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:59Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 55:59Speaker 03

  I wasn't sure how much lugs had made it into the white community.

• 56:03Speaker 05

  That's a good question.

• 56:04Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 56:05Speaker 05

  It seems like a certain type of white guy who was wearing lugs for sure.

• 56:09Speaker 03

  I knew white guys that wore Tims, but white guys that wore lugs, they seemed like they'd be terrifying.

• 56:14Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 56:14Speaker 04

  White guys who wore Tims scared the shit out of me in high school.

• 56:17Speaker 05

  As they should.

• 56:18Speaker 04

  They were fighting on the Votek bus, crazy style.

• 56:20Speaker 05

  They went to Votek for sure.

• 56:22Speaker 04

  They were raining punches.

• 56:23Speaker 05

  He's about to make a hundred K a year welding.

• 56:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:26Speaker 05

  After this is over.

• 56:28Speaker 04

  I was going to Votek for home ec, minding my business. I remember Denver.

• 56:33Speaker 03

  Yo, what a name.

• 56:35Speaker 05

  That is the name of a guy who would beat your fucking ass.

• 56:38Speaker 04

  Denver, I didn't wanna get in a fight, cause I didn't wanna be in trouble, but Denver, white guy in Tims and a South Pole jacket.

• 56:44Speaker 05

  Oh no.

• 56:45Speaker 04

  He would walk past me, minding my business. He'd go, what are you looking at pussy? And I'd be like, nah, Denver, go away. He always wanted to fight somebody. It was crazy. I was like, Denver, I know you have a challenging home life, but get the fuck away.

• 56:56Speaker 05

  He has to.

• 56:56Speaker 04

  He did. It was fucked up.

• 56:58Speaker 03

  Were you, were you bigger than everybody else even in high school?

• 57:01Speaker 04

  What did you say?

• 57:01Speaker 03

  You're, you're a tall person. You're a tall person.

• 57:09Speaker 03

  This is so scary for me.

• 57:11Speaker 04

  One more time?

• 57:13Speaker 03

  Folks, what a pickle I've gotten myself into.

• 57:16Speaker 04

  Freeze frame. Probably wondering.

• 57:19Speaker 05

  I'm wondering how I got here.

• 57:23Speaker 04

  So you were bigger than everyone in the building, including the adults, right?

• 57:27Speaker 03

  Caleb, you're big as hell. Tell us more.

• 57:29Speaker 04

  Yeah. More tales from your big ass life.

• 57:33Speaker 05

  My life is a house.

• 57:37Speaker 05

  I had to get that one in.

• 57:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, that was beautiful.

• 57:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, I was bigger than everyone.

• 57:41Speaker 03

  Yeah. So did that, that keep them from wanting to fight you?

• 57:45Speaker 04

  He never really fought me. He always, he always wanted to pick a fight with somebody, but he, he never actually swung on me.

• 57:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:50Speaker 04

  I don't know, I don't know who would have won. He was scrappy and had a way worse life than me. I don't know what he's up to these days. We'll believe his last name.

• 57:55Speaker 05

  Two huge factors.

• 57:56Speaker 04

  Yeah. Scrappiness and having nothing to lose.

• 57:59Speaker 05

  In a winning a fight.

• 58:00Speaker 04

  Yeah. I have things to lose and I'm not particularly scrappy.

• 58:03Speaker 05

  Like, if you're fighting, like, don't fight guys who are outside a lot. I say that too.

• 58:09Speaker 05

  You know what I mean? Like, if he seems like he's just fighting to keep warm.

• 58:14Speaker 04

  Skip it.

• 58:15Speaker 05

  Get out of there.

• 58:16Speaker 04

  Skip it.

• 58:16Speaker 03

  If this is his second fight this week, you gotta move on.

• 58:20Speaker 04

  Put your earrings back on.

• 58:21Speaker 05

  Outside guys are scary, scary guys.

• 58:23Speaker 03

  I think that's how Shia LaBeouf has really, um, been able to, to maneuver as like this version of himself.

• 58:30Speaker 05

  You think he's outside a lot?

• 58:31Speaker 03

  He's just outside a lot, so we can't tell if he can fight or not.

• 58:34Speaker 05

  That's a good point.

• 58:35Speaker 04

  He's also pulling his shorts up a lot, which is a, you know, when a.

• 58:38Speaker 05

  It's so confident, it's scary.

• 58:40Speaker 04

  When a guy, when a guy is acting crazy and he starts pulling his shorts up, do you know what I'm saying?

• 58:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:44Speaker 05

  Exactly what you're saying.

• 58:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:46Speaker 04

  Exactly. Oh, I'm actually don't wanna fight. I'm good.

• 58:48Speaker 03

  If you adjust your clothes at all, I assume you know what you're doing.

• 58:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're getting ready. Do something you know about.

• 58:53Speaker 03

  You don't want this in your way.

• 58:54Speaker 05

  I've false flagged a pants pull up before.

• 58:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:58Speaker 05

  Like to seem more confident, like I wanted to fight them.

• 59:00Speaker 04

  How'd it go?

• 59:02Speaker 05

  I didn't fight.

• 59:02Speaker 04

  Nice.

• 59:03Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a public house.

• 59:07Speaker 04

  This wasn't nearly as long ago as it should have been.

• 59:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:11Speaker 04

  I false flagged a pants pull up to get out of a fight. It's so fucking funny.

• 59:16Speaker 03

  You knew you weren't gonna win this fight.

• 59:18Speaker 05

  No, I knew I didn't wanna fight. Cause I, in that, I never want to fight ever.

• 59:24Speaker 03

  No, that's real.

• 59:24Speaker 05

  But sometimes you just let enough shit slide every now and again. You're like, alright, I gotta stand on this one.

• 59:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's, that's very real.

• 59:30Speaker 05

  Go to bed tonight.

• 59:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 59:32Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 59:32Speaker 04

  You're more of a lover, really, I think.

• 59:33Speaker 05

  Uh, yeah, I think so for sure. I, I think so.

• 59:37Speaker 03

  Hundred percent.

• 59:37Speaker 04

  Three lovers. This is a three lovers episode.

• 59:39Speaker 03

  Lovers.

• 59:40Speaker 05

  This is the three lovers.

• 59:41Speaker 04

  This is a three lovers.

• 59:41Speaker 03

  Lovers lounge.

• 59:43Speaker 04

  This is a three lovers episode. I'm not really a fighter.

• 59:45Speaker 05

  Lovers and daddies.

• 59:46Speaker 04

  Lovers and daddies.

• 59:49Speaker 03

  Some of us like it, some of us don't.

• 59:50Speaker 04

  Who said it? Who said it? I come back to it. I continue to wonder from a journalistic point of view, who said it?

• 59:57Speaker 05

  And we're never gonna know. That's the great part.

• 59:59Speaker 04

  Who fucking said it? If it doesn't come out over sandwiches after we press stop on this recording? I'm killing myself. You need to know who said it.

• 1:00:10Speaker 03

  I wanna say it was Mandel. It feels, it feels like something Mandel said to me.

• 1:00:13Speaker 05

  Okay, that feels like a cold take Mandel would have, though.

• 1:00:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, Mandel says stuff.

• 1:00:17Speaker 04

  I don't know him.

• 1:00:18Speaker 03

  You don't know Mandel?

• 1:00:19Speaker 05

  Really?

• 1:00:20Speaker 04

  We, we.

• 1:00:20Speaker 05

  We gotta get you guys in a room together.

• 1:00:22Speaker 04

  Well, I've seen him on, he's very funny.

• 1:00:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:24Speaker 04

  I don't know him personally.

• 1:00:25Speaker 05

  Oh, I would love to see how the.

• 1:00:28Speaker 04

  You what?

• 1:00:28Speaker 03

  None, none of us do.

• 1:00:29Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:00:31Speaker 03

  That's the beauty of Mandel is that he's, he's, he is almost like a cryptid.

• 1:00:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:36Speaker 03

  He, he's sort of like strange lore that lives behind the, the whole aesthetic.

• 1:00:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's, he's wonderful. I love him.

• 1:00:44Speaker 05

  He's like a tall tale.

• 1:00:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:00:46Speaker 05

  He's our Paul Bunyan.

• 1:00:48Speaker 04

  I was about to say he's Paul Bunyan.

• 1:00:49Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:00:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's got a big blue ox somewhere.

• 1:00:53Speaker 04

  Running around. Damn. That's a fun way to be described. I'll never, that's, see, any kind of like mystery or any kind, anybody who gets described as like, no one really knows what that guy's thinking. I'll never have that.

• 1:01:06Speaker 05

  You don't think so?

• 1:01:07Speaker 04

  I'm certain.

• 1:01:08Speaker 05

  You're such an open book.

• 1:01:08Speaker 04

  All I've ever done is talk completely honestly about the way I feel. I've ruined any chance at mystery.

• 1:01:14Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 1:01:15Speaker 05

  Have you ever noticed mysterious people, whenever you get too close, it, it is usually a letdown?

• 1:01:21Speaker 04

  For sure.

• 1:01:22Speaker 05

  Like, there's so many people I've been like, oh, you hear so much about this person. You're like, they're so interesting. And then you talk to them and you're like, oh, I think it's just a person who doesn't say a lot.

• 1:01:30Speaker 03

  But then.

• 1:01:30Speaker 05

  And is handsome. It's like an attractive person who doesn't say a lot. It is shrouded in mystery.

• 1:01:35Speaker 03

  But then you look at like how long Johnny Depp thrived and you go, well, that was worth it.

• 1:01:40Speaker 05

  Yeah, we did not wanna hear him talk.

• 1:01:42Speaker 03

  He, cause otherwise you find out he's been, he's had booboo on his chest the whole time.

• 1:01:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:01:47Speaker 03

  This wasn't the first time somebody shit in his bed.

• 1:01:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:01:49Speaker 03

  This is just the first time we're hearing of it.

• 1:01:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:01:51Speaker 05

  That's true.

• 1:01:52Speaker 03

  You know what I mean?

• 1:01:52Speaker 04

  Previously, the emperor's shit was invisible.

• 1:01:55Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:01:56Speaker 04

  Came into vision and we said, we don't like seeing that shit on your chest.

• 1:01:59Speaker 05

  I sort of think the hotter you are, the less you should talk.

• 1:02:03Speaker 04

  That's actually really, really compelling.

• 1:02:08Speaker 04

  In a very, I'm not kidding way. I like that as a rule.

• 1:02:12Speaker 05

  I think so.

• 1:02:12Speaker 03

  I don't disagree with it.

• 1:02:14Speaker 05

  Yeah, like, it's like, you know, you're only gonna disappoint us.

• 1:02:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's all a letdown.

• 1:02:20Speaker 04

  I, yeah, I didn't have a choice. I had to start talking at a very young age.

• 1:02:23Speaker 05

  I've been blabbing since I came out.

• 1:02:25Speaker 04

  I had to, the only reason I talk so much is cause I had to start controlling the narrative.

• 1:02:33Speaker 05

  I know what you think this is?

• 1:02:34Speaker 04

  Yeah. I was fat and gay in Missouri. Trust, I was getting my message out first.

• 1:02:38Speaker 03

  Folks, you're gonna hear some nasty rumors about me.

• 1:02:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:42Speaker 03

  Some things are gonna come out. I wanna get ahead of it now.

• 1:02:44Speaker 04

  I was my own Olivia Pope. First of all, I'm not gay. That's called school spirit. Let's start there. I'm setting the parameters of the discussion.

• 1:02:55Speaker 03

  I'm actually the person who looks the most like the president.

• 1:02:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, so, what now? I really, yeah, I was tired. I started talking so quick. I, I remember getting in trouble for talking in school all the time and I was like, well, you guys are being boring as fuck.

• 1:03:07Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:03:08Speaker 04

  I'm not allowed to talk, but you're being boring.

• 1:03:10Speaker 05

  School is boring. Teachers are so boring.

• 1:03:13Speaker 04

  Teachers are boring. I'm sorry, I respect teachers, but the teachers, I had a lot of them, I had some good ones, but a lot of them would give us like stupid little bullshit assignments that took me like three minutes. And then it'd be like seventeen minutes of accompanied silence after I was done. I'm like, I can't, this is torture.

• 1:03:26Speaker 03

  Well, the problem is, as a former teacher and I, I will stand up for us a little bit.

• 1:03:30Speaker 04

  Go ahead.

• 1:03:31Speaker 03

  You are the only one finishing that fast.

• 1:03:35Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:03:36Speaker 03

  And everybody else really needs that full seventeen minutes and I don't know what the fuck to do with you. It took me all day to put these worksheets together.

• 1:03:45Speaker 05

  Damn.

• 1:03:45Speaker 03

  Just chill, bro.

• 1:03:46Speaker 04

  What you should have done is talk with me. Maybe they're all still working on it, you and I go chit chat.

• 1:03:51Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 1:03:52Speaker 04

  Me and the teacher.

• 1:03:53Speaker 03

  That's fair.

• 1:03:53Speaker 05

  Mr. Kermit tells you about Greece.

• 1:03:55Speaker 04

  Mr. Kermit tells me about Greece. Tell me about your trip.

• 1:03:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:58Speaker 04

  Tell me about some things, tell me about some things that are going on.

• 1:04:00Speaker 05

  And I go, you're more talented than the rest of these kids. You could go to Greece.

• 1:04:03Speaker 03

  And I go, no, because I make a teacher's salary, I certainly will only go to Greece once I become a comedian and escape this.

• 1:04:10Speaker 05

  Damn.

• 1:04:10Speaker 03

  I have nothing to talk to the child about.

• 1:04:12Speaker 05

  None of your life adornments were when you were teaching.

• 1:04:15Speaker 03

  Bro, I was riding the train and drinking Kraken.

• 1:04:18Speaker 05

  Man, that sucks.

• 1:04:21Speaker 04

  It sucks that, you see what we do in this country? Our teachers have to drink rum.

• 1:04:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was drinking rum.

• 1:04:26Speaker 05

  Gimmick rum.

• 1:04:29Speaker 03

  Make the rum as black as can be.

• 1:04:32Speaker 04

  Our teachers have to ride the train. They have nothing to talk to their kids about.

• 1:04:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, nah, I have nothing to offer.

• 1:04:38Speaker 03

  You shouldn't, but if you have, we could talk about it.

• 1:04:41Speaker 05

  Do you think you would have been, do you think if teaching paid really well, do you think you would have ever become a comedian? If you could have got the same money?

• 1:04:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, I wasn't, I wasn't fulfilled.

• 1:04:53Speaker 05

  Oh, okay.

• 1:04:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, I, I know, I knew from the beginning, I was like, these kids, I'm not gonna be permanent in their, in their lives. This is,

• 1:05:02Speaker 05

  Damn.

• 1:05:02Speaker 03

  This is me figuring it out, but I wanna, I wanna have as much impact as I can while I'm here. Yeah, I wasn't.

• 1:05:09Speaker 05

  Imagine while you were in it, you were very.

• 1:05:11Speaker 03

  I wasn't being a piece of shit. I was giving them my all, but the whole time I was like, I gotta get out of this.

• 1:05:17Speaker 04

  I remember one time.

• 1:05:18Speaker 05

  That's how I felt when I joined the Air Force.

• 1:05:22Speaker 04

  It took me one millisecond. There was a split second where I was like, David was in the Air Force.

• 1:05:28Speaker 04

  Allow me to process that for a second.

• 1:05:30Speaker 03

  Okay, paint cleaner, Air Force.

• 1:05:32Speaker 04

  I remember one time, we, we got in trouble, we were, we were being too talkative one day, uh, and our, one of our teachers is like fifth grade. She was like, you know what? After class today, we're all running wind sprints.

• 1:05:43Speaker 03

  What?

• 1:05:43Speaker 04

  She was like, we're gonna run wind sprints as upon.

• 1:05:45Speaker 03

  She was like that?

• 1:05:46Speaker 04

  She said that, she said that, and as soon as she said it, I turned to the kid next to me, I was like, we're not doing that. I was like, we're not running wind sprints. And she, the whole day, she kept being like, no, keep it up, do whatever you want, act however you want, because we're running wind sprints. And then she took us out to the playground and was like, run, when she's, she's like, get in line, and then she had a whistle, and she was like, start running, and I didn't run.

• 1:06:05Speaker 03

  Whoa, you were powerful.

• 1:06:07Speaker 04

  She was like, run. I was like, you're not the gym teacher. I remember saying, you're not the gym teacher, cause I was like, that's what the gym teacher does.

• 1:06:13Speaker 03

  That's where you drew the line.

• 1:06:14Speaker 04

  I was like, gym teacher can tell us to run, you're not that bitch.

• 1:06:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:17Speaker 04

  And she was like, she was like, do you wanna go to the principal's office? And I was like, and she sent me to the principal's office and I didn't get in trouble.

• 1:06:22Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:06:23Speaker 04

  Which was the start of this whole evil empire that I built.

• 1:06:25Speaker 05

  I would have been so scared of you as a kid.

• 1:06:27Speaker 04

  I just was like, that doesn't make sense.

• 1:06:29Speaker 05

  The level of power that you just talked about wielding, god.

• 1:06:33Speaker 04

  It was laziness.

• 1:06:34Speaker 05

  I think you're a daddy.

• 1:06:36Speaker 03

  Hey. I will say, you were the, the scariest type of kid that I ever faced.

• 1:06:43Speaker 04

  The kid who doesn't buy into the program?

• 1:06:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, the kid who, the kid who doesn't know that there are other rules, do you know what I mean? Like, or that knows that there are other rules that like I have to abide by, that's dangerous.

• 1:06:55Speaker 04

  The kid who knows that you have a boss?

• 1:06:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:59Speaker 03

  It's actually not chill to just make kids run and you can't do that.

• 1:07:03Speaker 04

  Crazy, actually still crazy of her.

• 1:07:04Speaker 05

  It is really crazy.

• 1:07:06Speaker 04

  I think also like in her defense, whatever, she was, she was, I'm sure she was having a really bad day, but I think the issue with me and a lot of teachers was, I was doing a lot of stuff for myself at home from a very young age. So I was like, why are you treating me like an idiot? Like, I do so much of my day by myself.

• 1:07:21Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:07:21Speaker 04

  And now I'm in trouble with you because I talk a little bit. Keep in mind, I'm making myself dinner tonight, you know what I mean?

• 1:07:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:26Speaker 04

  There was a disconnect where I was like, you're treating me like I'm an idiot and I'm like actually like, it bothered me.

• 1:07:32Speaker 03

  And that's, that's.

• 1:07:33Speaker 05

  Wow, you took a lot more, you took, you drew a lot more power from being a latchkey kid than I did. I never thought about it that way.

• 1:07:42Speaker 03

  I know, I didn't think of it as a powerful tool in my arsenal.

• 1:07:47Speaker 05

  I was embarrassed.

• 1:07:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:51Speaker 04

  So that was a source of shame for me.

• 1:07:53Speaker 03

  Actually, I wore, we had, our back door had a skeleton key. It like literally was just an old enough door that a skeleton key was, and so I wore my key around my neck.

• 1:08:03Speaker 05

  Of course.

• 1:08:04Speaker 03

  And it was like, yeah, but that was, that's how I got in my home.

• 1:08:08Speaker 05

  Yeah. Did you lose a lot of keys?

• 1:08:11Speaker 03

  Nah, cause I, I had to wear it around my neck. It was like a fucking, that was all I had.

• 1:08:16Speaker 05

  I stayed losing keys outside all the time, bro.

• 1:08:20Speaker 04

  I bet your mom was pissed.

• 1:08:22Speaker 05

  Dog, it would be like, sometimes it'd be like, alright, you just can't have a key for a while then.

• 1:08:26Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:08:26Speaker 05

  You've just gotta be an outside kid.

• 1:08:28Speaker 03

  What were you doing?

• 1:08:29Speaker 05

  What do you mean?

• 1:08:30Speaker 03

  Like, how were you losing them so often?

• 1:08:32Speaker 05

  Damn, I was just outside cutting up.

• 1:08:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:34Speaker 05

  You know?

• 1:08:35Speaker 04

  Outside playing around, rolling in the dirt.

• 1:08:37Speaker 05

  I was, I was.

• 1:08:37Speaker 04

  Throwing my key.

• 1:08:39Speaker 05

  I was in the apartment.

• 1:08:40Speaker 03

  Let my friend eat it.

• 1:08:42Speaker 04

  Taking it out of my pocket, rolling around, daring other kids to eat it.

• 1:08:46Speaker 05

  Daring other kids to watch me eat it.

• 1:08:48Speaker 03

  You wanna play hide and seek key style?

• 1:08:50Speaker 05

  Yeah, I would just, I would just lose it all the time and then I'd have to have like two weeks where I didn't have my key.

• 1:08:56Speaker 03

  Fuck.

• 1:08:56Speaker 04

  Your poor mom just being like, I can't get another key, man. I feel like you're dumb kid losing a fucking key every day.

• 1:09:02Speaker 03

  Okay, I thought I was gonna pay the car note this month, but the key budget has gone up.

• 1:09:06Speaker 05

  She had to be like, where are all these keys?

• 1:09:10Speaker 05

  Because I also had nothing as a kid. I, I was, I even rarely had my backpack on me. I was truly like a loose child.

• 1:09:16Speaker 03

  You were going outside just raw.

• 1:09:18Speaker 05

  Bro, I was loose outside.

• 1:09:20Speaker 03

  Nah, I know.

• 1:09:20Speaker 05

  I was loose outside.

• 1:09:21Speaker 03

  I feel embarrassed leaving the house without a backpack even now.

• 1:09:25Speaker 05

  See, that's nuts. You have a family.

• 1:09:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, I, I need, I needed stuff.

• 1:09:29Speaker 05

  And that's why we're so, we're so similar, but we're so opposite on other things. I don't like leaving the house with ID now.

• 1:09:36Speaker 04

  That's good, though.

• 1:09:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, I don't like it. It feels like I'm too.

• 1:09:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:09:41Speaker 05

  What are you needed for?

• 1:09:41Speaker 03

  And, and I'm sure they'll be reasonable about you not having ID.

• 1:09:46Speaker 05

  Who's they?

• 1:09:47Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 1:09:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:09:50Speaker 05

  When was the last time you had to have ID?

• 1:09:53Speaker 04

  Well, they're doing it more and more now. It's kinda coming up.

• 1:09:55Speaker 05

  Yeah, almost like it's a problem.

• 1:09:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:09:58Speaker 05

  Almost, it's like, that's not how people should live.

• 1:10:00Speaker 04

  It is crazy, the things that like, the right wing crowd is getting cool with all of a sudden, just cause they wanna do racism against immigrants. They're like, like, yeah, I should always have my ID on me and be able to prove I'm a citizen. It's like, what?

• 1:10:11Speaker 05

  I really didn't.

• 1:10:11Speaker 04

  I was doing that shit.

• 1:10:12Speaker 05

  I really didn't realize they wanted it that bad.

• 1:10:16Speaker 05

  You know what? I knew they loved it. Like, listen, we all know you guys love this shit. Clearly you love it, you got these jokes or whatever. I didn't know they were willing to put themselves down to keep it in place.

• 1:10:25Speaker 04

  They are going through hell.

• 1:10:26Speaker 05

  It's really embarrassing.

• 1:10:27Speaker 04

  They're taking everyone down with them. They're like, yeah, I don't mind constantly having to prove I'm a citizen.

• 1:10:31Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:10:31Speaker 04

  I do, what are you talking about?

• 1:10:32Speaker 05

  I do for sure.

• 1:10:33Speaker 04

  Not giving my ID to some fucking random cop?

• 1:10:35Speaker 03

  I, I.

• 1:10:36Speaker 05

  I hate giving my, I hate giving my ID.

• 1:10:39Speaker 03

  I don't trust.

• 1:10:40Speaker 05

  I hate fingerprints, I hate it all.

• 1:10:41Speaker 03

  I don't trust bouncers enough to believe that they're, they're calculating the, the age and dates, right?

• 1:10:47Speaker 04

  They're looking at it too quick.

• 1:10:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:10:49Speaker 05

  They don't know that math. You don't know that math, cause they always go, yup, good.

• 1:10:53Speaker 03

  Bro, it's a kinetic idea. You don't even have it memorized.

• 1:10:56Speaker 05

  You don't know where the date is.

• 1:10:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, the date is in a different spot.

• 1:10:58Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:10:59Speaker 03

  What the fuck are you talking about?

• 1:11:00Speaker 05

  And I've gotten into places with wrong IDs so many times, it's like, no, this is not.

• 1:11:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, you don't give a shit.

• 1:11:05Speaker 04

  I've gotten into a lot of places I shouldn't have been by lying confidently.

• 1:11:08Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:11:09Speaker 04

  Walking up to, walking, walking past a huge line and going, we're on the list, thank you, just walking.

• 1:11:13Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 1:11:15Speaker 04

  Works.

• 1:11:15Speaker 05

  Once again, that's.

• 1:11:17Speaker 04

  It works these days because I'm famous, but it worked before that.

• 1:11:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:11:19Speaker 05

  But that's the same energy that you entered the, I'm not doing wind sprints thing with.

• 1:11:23Speaker 04

  Well, the wind sprints thing, I, is, I'm editorializing from the future, you know what I mean? And saying what I was thinking. I wasn't saying out loud to my teacher, like, I actually make dinner for myself, I will not be running.

• 1:11:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:11:33Speaker 04

  You know what I mean? But I do think there's a, I've also been turned away many times doing that, so you have to be comfortable with rejection.

• 1:11:38Speaker 05

  That's gotta be a tough L to take, though, too.

• 1:11:40Speaker 04

  Huge L.

• 1:11:41Speaker 03

  And I think the.

• 1:11:42Speaker 05

  Especially in front of your friends.

• 1:11:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:11:43Speaker 03

  The type of people that have.

• 1:11:44Speaker 05

  Hey guys, I got us.

• 1:11:45Speaker 03

  But the type of people that have that ambition ahead of time are the type of people that then, when they become powerful, are able to, to actually.

• 1:11:54Speaker 04

  To abuse it.

• 1:11:54Speaker 03

  Off, yeah.

• 1:11:55Speaker 04

  To abuse the power.

• 1:11:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, congratulations.

• 1:11:57Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:11:57Speaker 04

  That's the chapter that I'm in.

• 1:11:59Speaker 05

  That's good, cause I worry about that. I always think like, if me and you get power, I don't know if we're gonna be great about it.

• 1:12:04Speaker 03

  Bro, we don't get to talk down to nobody.

• 1:12:06Speaker 05

  Dog, we were, man, remember when we were, this is embarrassing. You remember when we were playing Mario Kart at the arcade?

• 1:12:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:12:13Speaker 05

  And we were both like, yeah, I'm kind of a Luigi guy.

• 1:12:20Speaker 05

  And we both had a moment where we were like, damn, that's maybe not great.

• 1:12:23Speaker 03

  No, somebody's gotta be a Mario guy.

• 1:12:25Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:12:26Speaker 04

  Who's our Mario? Fuck, we need a Mario bag.

• 1:12:30Speaker 05

  Caleb, you're our Mario. You're our new Mario.

• 1:12:34Speaker 04

  I'm fucking jumping down the pipes. Looking for brand deals.

• 1:12:38Speaker 03

  Follow me.

• 1:12:40Speaker 04

  This way.

• 1:12:44Speaker 04

  What is so true to you guys? Did you prepare a joint one?

• 1:12:46Speaker 03

  We did prepare one.

• 1:12:47Speaker 05

  Oh, we did. That was what we were talking about at Smart and Fun.

• 1:12:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, when, when he was at Smart and Fun, we were, we were having a he- hefty debate about what our so true would be. And we landed on this. I, uh, we, we, mommy and daddy believe.

• 1:13:03Speaker 04

  Who said it?

• 1:13:04Speaker 05

  Who said it?

• 1:13:05Speaker 04

  Who said it?

• 1:13:09Speaker 03

  That if you wear sunglasses inside, you should be treated with the same, uh, harshness and judgment that we treat sex perverts.

• 1:13:20Speaker 05

  Really?

• 1:13:21Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 1:13:22Speaker 05

  Oh, wow.

• 1:13:23Speaker 03

  I, I think we have to start being, being a country again.

• 1:13:28Speaker 05

  We gotta tighten up on that shit.

• 1:13:29Speaker 03

  Looking people in the eye.

• 1:13:31Speaker 05

  It's getting way too loose.

• 1:13:32Speaker 03

  It's get, we are doing dark shades.

• 1:13:35Speaker 05

  Especially in Los Angeles.

• 1:13:36Speaker 03

  In, in, in dark rooms, it's nuts.

• 1:13:39Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:13:40Speaker 04

  Okay. I've worn sunglasses indoors recently.

• 1:13:42Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:13:43Speaker 04

  It's a change that I've made. I've gone in that direction.

• 1:13:45Speaker 05

  Why?

• 1:13:46Speaker 04

  I've experimented with that because I was outside with them on.

• 1:13:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:13:49Speaker 04

  And then I went inside.

• 1:13:51Speaker 05

  And you weren't?

• 1:13:52Speaker 03

  That's usually how it works. I agree.

• 1:13:55Speaker 04

  Do you know what I'm saying?

• 1:13:56Speaker 05

  Yeah. Okay. I think we're talking different. I think we're more speaking of like, you go to a nice dinner. It's dark outside.

• 1:14:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:14:04Speaker 05

  Like you, like you wear them at night inside.

• 1:14:09Speaker 03

  He's not fighting this. He likes this.

• 1:14:11Speaker 04

  Done that. I've done that recently. That's something I've got involved with.

• 1:14:14Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:14:14Speaker 05

  We might need a new Mario.

• 1:14:15Speaker 04

  It felt kinda cool.

• 1:14:17Speaker 03

  Mario got awesome fast.

• 1:14:18Speaker 04

  Kinda cool. You guys really hate it that much. You said I'm a sex pervert.

• 1:14:22Speaker 03

  Well, you're the same.

• 1:14:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm the same as a sex pervert. Yeah. Nobody gets hurt.

• 1:14:27Speaker 03

  You, you don't think that, um, it creates a disconnect for you and the people that you're sitting with? You don't find it incredibly off-putting?

• 1:14:37Speaker 04

  I didn't even think about it. I've only done it probably twice.

• 1:14:41Speaker 04

  I've only done it probably twice.

• 1:14:42Speaker 05

  When it happens to you, you, when you encounter someone wearing sunglasses at night inside, you don't find it off-putting?

• 1:14:49Speaker 04

  I don't mind it at all.

• 1:14:50Speaker 03

  You don't mind it?

• 1:14:51Speaker 04

  I don't mind it at all.

• 1:14:51Speaker 03

  That's beautiful.

• 1:14:52Speaker 04

  I certainly don't think of them as equivalent to sex perverts. I'm open to that. I'm very open to you guys.

• 1:14:58Speaker 05

  You don't say, what are you hiding?

• 1:14:59Speaker 04

  No. I imagine that they're just sleepy or they have a bloodshot eye or they were a little too stoned or something. Cause that's what happened to me. The first time I did, I kinda liked it. I was too stoned and I knew that if I, my eyes were out in the open, that I would, I felt that people were gonna see that I was too stoned and start making assumptions about me. I was in a place of fear.

• 1:15:16Speaker 05

  What assumptions?

• 1:15:17Speaker 04

  That I was too high.

• 1:15:18Speaker 05

  And then what?

• 1:15:19Speaker 04

  That I'm the kinda guy who gets too high.

• 1:15:20Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:15:21Speaker 04

  You have to understand, I'm in a high anxiety moment.

• 1:15:24Speaker 03

  I, I hear you.

• 1:15:25Speaker 04

  He's a stoner, he's a, you know.

• 1:15:26Speaker 05

  So I'm gonna say you are.

• 1:15:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, I was. I've not been off weed for a while now.

• 1:15:30Speaker 03

  Oh, wow.

• 1:15:31Speaker 05

  How you feel?

• 1:15:31Speaker 04

  Uh, fine, but I miss being numb.

• 1:15:36Speaker 03

  That's where I'm at.

• 1:15:39Speaker 03

  Always numb, baby.

• 1:15:40Speaker 04

  I'm feeling, I'm like, I'm, I'm not, I was not even a huge stoner, but I smoked maybe a couple of times a week.

• 1:15:45Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:15:46Speaker 04

  And I'm like, oh, this is a time of, this is like, oh, it's a Wednesday night and I'm in the house two hours before I'm gonna go to bed. This is the time where I'd normally just get stoned and go ahead and zoom those hours right by.

• 1:15:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:15:56Speaker 04

  And I'm like feeling those hours and I'm going, I miss, I miss just kinda zipping these apart.

• 1:16:01Speaker 05

  What are you filling the hours with?

• 1:16:03Speaker 04

  I'm trying to do productive stuff. I'm trying to do productive stuff.

• 1:16:06Speaker 05

  What are you actually doing?

• 1:16:07Speaker 04

  TV, television, documentaries. I watched a six-part documentary on, uh, Teddy Roosevelt.

• 1:16:12Speaker 03

  That's productive.

• 1:16:13Speaker 05

  Oh, was it the PBS one?

• 1:16:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's a very interesting guy.

• 1:16:15Speaker 05

  Do you have the PBS pass?

• 1:16:16Speaker 04

  No.

• 1:16:17Speaker 05

  Oh, okay.

• 1:16:18Speaker 04

  No, I don't know how I got it. I also watched a, a six-part documentary.

• 1:16:22Speaker 03

  He keeps asking, nobody's saying, yeah.

• 1:16:24Speaker 04

  PBS pass?

• 1:16:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, he keeps, he keep, everybody he talks to.

• 1:16:27Speaker 05

  A lot of those PB, I love them so much.

• 1:16:30Speaker 04

  Really?

• 1:16:30Speaker 05

  The Roosevelt, you watch the Teddy one, not the one about the Roosevelts.

• 1:16:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, Teddy Roosevelt.

• 1:16:34Speaker 03

  Call this guy Kim Burns Jr. He fucking loves it.

• 1:16:37Speaker 05

  You know what's a fun one to watch is the denim one. You should get the PBS pass.

• 1:16:42Speaker 04

  I might.

• 1:16:42Speaker 05

  And then you can watch them all. It's really a good time.

• 1:16:44Speaker 04

  I just did one on the founding fathers as well.

• 1:16:46Speaker 05

  Oh, uh, you know what else is good is the Gilded Age one.

• 1:16:49Speaker 04

  Haven't seen it.

• 1:16:50Speaker 05

  They just invented society, New York society. It is so fun to watch.

• 1:16:53Speaker 04

  Gilded Age invented society.

• 1:16:54Speaker 05

  Yeah, and then like, they talk about how these guys were all monsters. Vanderbilt used to spit everywhere. It's really fun.

• 1:17:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:17:01Speaker 05

  You see that rich people have always been trash and I like that.

• 1:17:04Speaker 03

  That's cool, man.

• 1:17:05Speaker 04

  Teddy Roosevelt, in many ways, a bad guy, but in some interesting ways, ve- very good qualities.

• 1:17:12Speaker 05

  Really wanted to prove that he was strong.

• 1:17:14Speaker 04

  Wanted to prove he was strong and also was kinda like, would, like, would go into like, uh, child coalworkers apartments where they lived after work.

• 1:17:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:17:23Speaker 03

  Oh, to like shake their hand and be like, thanks.

• 1:17:25Speaker 04

  Be like, we're gonna fix this.

• 1:17:26Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 1:17:27Speaker 04

  It was racist, so you know, we give and we take on that.

• 1:17:29Speaker 03

  Oh, is that what his bad guy shit was? Was that he was just racist?

• 1:17:32Speaker 04

  He was racist. He, but then he would, he, he also did some, like, he was racist and did some really racist shit while he was in office, but then at the same time, who did he? Thank you. Thank you. That means the world to me. Who was the black, uh?

• 1:17:46Speaker 03

  Barack Obama.

• 1:17:47Speaker 04

  Yes. There was a black, like thinker or poet that he had. He had Eddie Griffin to dinner.

• 1:17:54Speaker 05

  That's my guess who's coming in.

• 1:17:56Speaker 04

  He had Eddie Griffin to picture them at dinner together.

• 1:17:58Speaker 03

  Teddy Roosevelt just being stressed out by Eddie Griffin.

• 1:18:02Speaker 05

  It'd be funny because they'd be using a lot of the same slang terms.

• 1:18:09Speaker 04

  He was an interesting guy.

• 1:18:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:18:10Speaker 04

  He was an interesting guy.

• 1:18:11Speaker 03

  I, I.

• 1:18:12Speaker 04

  Who'd he have to dinner? Booker T. Washington. Yeah, Booker T. Washington, at the White House.

• 1:18:16Speaker 05

  I've been to his house.

• 1:18:17Speaker 04

  Who's?

• 1:18:18Speaker 05

  Booker T. Washington's house.

• 1:18:19Speaker 04

  How was it?

• 1:18:19Speaker 05

  It was pretty cool.

• 1:18:20Speaker 04

  Yeah?

• 1:18:20Speaker 03

  He wasn't there, right?

• 1:18:21Speaker 05

  No, there's, it's, you can go to his house in Tuskegee. If you go to Tuskegee, they still have his house preserved. He was a complicated guy too, though, Booker T.

• 1:18:29Speaker 03

  I think all those, I, I don't think that you get to be any level of like the best guy without having pretty fucked up, uh, positions somewhere in the middle of that. I, I personally believe, I don't think that, and we talked about this, I don't think that we should learn anything else about people after they die.

• 1:18:48Speaker 04

  Yeah. No more news about them.

• 1:18:50Speaker 03

  If, what I know, I know. That's it.

• 1:18:53Speaker 04

  What are you hiding?

• 1:18:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly. E- exactly.

• 1:18:56Speaker 04

  Langston, what are you hiding?

• 1:18:57Speaker 03

  I, that's for me to keep, is my point.

• 1:18:59Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:19:00Speaker 03

  And if you don't find out.

• 1:19:01Speaker 05

  To the grave. I don't think we're ever gonna get it.

• 1:19:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:19:03Speaker 03

  If you don't find out, I win the game.

• 1:19:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:19:05Speaker 03

  That's what Prince was, was on. You know what I mean? Like, he was like, bro, I'm, I'm out here doing wild shit. Y'all know I do wild shit. Keep my name out your mouth.

• 1:19:14Speaker 05

  I think Prince kinda did win the game.

• 1:19:15Speaker 03

  He won.

• 1:19:16Speaker 05

  I think if anybody won, I think Prince, like, the game of like, uh, entertainment and success, I think Prince probably won.

• 1:19:24Speaker 03

  You guys have heard about the documentary they made.

• 1:19:26Speaker 05

  Yeah, that didn't come out.

• 1:19:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, they had, they had a whole Prince documentary that's supposed to be the greatest documentary, documentary ever made. It's like a beautiful, complicated exploration of this dude that we know so little about. And then through like them attempting to get the acquire, acquire it, and then the family sort of are like the remaining folks, the estate, protecting it, now the documentary is deaded. It will never see the light of day.

• 1:19:54Speaker 04

  That's good.

• 1:19:54Speaker 03

  And he won.

• 1:19:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:19:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:19:56Speaker 04

  He wins.

• 1:19:57Speaker 03

  He didn't want that shit.

• 1:19:58Speaker 04

  Prince won.

• 1:19:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:19:59Speaker 04

  Prince won.

• 1:20:01Speaker 03

  Blouses game.

• 1:20:02Speaker 04

  Checkmate. Check. Blouses. Checkmate. Game. Prince. He won.

• 1:20:08Speaker 05

  He's the only one, I think.

• 1:20:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's the only one.

• 1:20:10Speaker 05

  Cause yeah, when you die, everybody's like, oh, he pissed his pants that time.

• 1:20:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, we know what Teddy Roosevelt was up to.

• 1:20:15Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:20:16Speaker 04

  You guys wanna play a game?

• 1:20:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, let's do that.

• 1:20:17Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:20:18Speaker 05

  I'm excited about it.

• 1:20:19Speaker 04

  You guys decide how you handle this, but basically as a duo, if you, I'm gonna read you 15 statements. You're gonna tell me as quickly as you can if what I just said was true or false. If you guys get 10 or more correct, we're gonna give each of you 50 US dollars.

• 1:20:30Speaker 05

  You wanna just go back and forth, just you, me, you, me?

• 1:20:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, that sounds good to me.

• 1:20:32Speaker 04

  All right. Ford is older than Volkswagen.

• 1:20:37Speaker 05

  False.

• 1:20:37Speaker 04

  True. Komodo dragons can have virgin births.

• 1:20:41Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:20:42Speaker 04

  That is true. Ashley Tisdale is Canadian.

• 1:20:45Speaker 05

  False.

• 1:20:46Speaker 04

  False, she's American.

• 1:20:48Speaker 05

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 1:20:51Speaker 04

  IKEA has no stores in Brazil.

• 1:20:54Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:20:54Speaker 04

  That is true. The Denver Nuggets have only won the NBA championship once.

• 1:20:58Speaker 05

  True.

• 1:20:59Speaker 04

  I wish that had been Langston, god damn it. It is true. The Titanic sunk in 1929.

• 1:21:05Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:21:09Speaker 05

  It's false in 1912.

• 1:21:10Speaker 03

  Damn.

• 1:21:10Speaker 04

  False, it was 1912. Vertical angles are never equal.

• 1:21:15Speaker 05

  False.

• 1:21:16Speaker 04

  False, they're always equal. There have been three, three, three theatrically released Narnia movies.

• 1:21:23Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:21:23Speaker 04

  That is true. Lasagna Day is August 14th in the US.

• 1:21:27Speaker 05

  False.

• 1:21:28Speaker 04

  False, it's July 29th.

• 1:21:29Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:21:30Speaker 05

  Summertime Lasagna Day?

• 1:21:32Speaker 04

  Crazy.

• 1:21:32Speaker 03

  That's nuts.

• 1:21:33Speaker 05

  That's fucked. I hate that.

• 1:21:35Speaker 03

  And it's so close to fucking 4th of July.

• 1:21:38Speaker 05

  Why would you want Lasagna Day during summer vacation?

• 1:21:41Speaker 03

  I'm still stuffed.

• 1:21:43Speaker 05

  Put that shit in January, February. It should be February 15th for everybody who's sad about Valentine's.

• 1:21:50Speaker 03

  You're a hundred percent right.

• 1:21:51Speaker 05

  That's, yeah, I know. That's totally it.

• 1:21:54Speaker 03

  Come on, let's.

• 1:21:55Speaker 05

  February, we should start campaigning February 15th.

• 1:21:59Speaker 05

  Let's tell our wives first.

• 1:22:02Speaker 03

  Baby, we got new traditions.

• 1:22:04Speaker 04

  Mommy and daddy got in the lab and figured something out today.

• 1:22:09Speaker 04

  Langston's wife goes, I'm glad that's catching on.

• 1:22:13Speaker 04

  Bringing that up was very vulnerable.

• 1:22:14Speaker 03

  So you're sharing, okay.

• 1:22:15Speaker 04

  Betty White was born in Oak Park, Illinois.

• 1:22:17Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:22:18Speaker 04

  That is true.

• 1:22:18Speaker 05

  He's from Oak Park.

• 1:22:19Speaker 04

  I know, some of these I should have, it's a. I should have chosen who they went to. The factorial for zero is one.

• 1:22:26Speaker 05

  False.

• 1:22:27Speaker 04

  That's true. The Motorola Razr 2 was released in 2007.

• 1:22:33Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:22:34Speaker 05

  That feels right.

• 1:22:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, that feels true to me.

• 1:22:37Speaker 05

  The Razr 2?

• 1:22:38Speaker 04

  The Razr 2.

• 1:22:38Speaker 05

  No O, R A Z R?

• 1:22:40Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 1:22:41Speaker 05

  That feels true.

• 1:22:41Speaker 03

  That feels true.

• 1:22:42Speaker 04

  It is true.

• 1:22:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:22:43Speaker 04

  Wendy's has get, discontinued the Baconator.

• 1:22:46Speaker 05

  False.

• 1:22:47Speaker 04

  That is false.

• 1:22:48Speaker 05

  I got my little brother a Baconator. Three weeks ago, this dude's an animal.

• 1:22:54Speaker 04

  Cuttlefish have blue blood.

• 1:22:56Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:22:57Speaker 04

  That is true. Fuck.

• 1:23:00Speaker 04

  Fuck, you guys are amazing. There's nothing you guys can't do together.

• 1:23:04Speaker 05

  We really feel that way.

• 1:23:06Speaker 04

  The My Momma Told Me YouTube channel currently has 799 videos.

• 1:23:11Speaker 03

  Oh, no.

• 1:23:15Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:23:17Speaker 05

  False. False. There's no way we have 800 videos.

• 1:23:20Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:23:21Speaker 04

  False. It's true.

• 1:23:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:23:23Speaker 05

  You knew that? You knew that?

• 1:23:25Speaker 03

  I, I, I thought we were.

• 1:23:26Speaker 05

  You don't even pay for YouTube Premium.

• 1:23:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, I never will.

• 1:23:30Speaker 04

  How'd they do, Chance? Eleven.

• 1:23:31Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 1:23:32Speaker 04

  Let's go.

• 1:23:33Speaker 03

  That's pretty good.

• 1:23:34Speaker 04

  Let's go. That was.

• 1:23:35Speaker 05

  So is that 100 total or 25 each?

• 1:23:37Speaker 04

  It's 50 to each of you. Totaling for 100.

• 1:23:40Speaker 05

  And a sandwich. Let's go.

• 1:23:43Speaker 03

  We up.

• 1:23:44Speaker 04

  And, and wave water bottles and Google Pixels.

• 1:23:47Speaker 05

  This is the best day of my comedy career.

• 1:23:49Speaker 04

  It's a good day to be a part of the family.

• 1:23:51Speaker 03

  It's, it's a beautiful day.

• 1:23:53Speaker 04

  Thank you guys for doing it. This was so great.

• 1:23:54Speaker 03

  This was fun.

• 1:23:55Speaker 05

  It was so fun.

• 1:23:56Speaker 04

  Tell people where they can support you, find you, love you.

• 1:23:57Speaker 05

  Uh, My Momma Told Me on all, all platforms, right?

• 1:24:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, follow us.

• 1:24:02Speaker 05

  Instagram.

• 1:24:03Speaker 03

  We're part of the Wave family now. We're, we're under Caleb's banner. It's all beautiful. And, uh, yeah, follow us on all social media platforms. My Momma Told Me.

• 1:24:12Speaker 05

  You've heard of 7 PM in Brooklyn. This is 6 PM in downtown LA.

• 1:24:17Speaker 03

  Weird vibes. I'm gonna be honest, weird vibes.

• 1:24:21Speaker 04

  Weird, strange energy.

• 1:24:23Speaker 05

  Our studio's not located in a great spot.

• 1:24:25Speaker 03

  Carmelo's not showing up and, uh, and we'll figure that out.

• 1:24:29Speaker 05

  Hey, he wasn't the one who won us that one championship. So. I don't know why I said that.

• 1:24:33Speaker 04

  No, that's no worries.

• 1:24:34Speaker 03

  Yeah. He's down the hall.

• 1:24:36Speaker 05

  And I also really love him. I, I just always felt like he didn't like our city and that made me sad, but I really do love him.

• 1:24:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:24:41Speaker 05

  Shout out.

• 1:24:42Speaker 00

  Let's be honest. You don't go to the family holiday gift exchange just to participate. You go to win. This year, get a gift that'll cause a stir. A KitchenAid stand mixer. It's not just an appliance. It's a present to help them with the making. Year after year, recipe after recipe, you're enabling the family to whip up new traditions. 'Tis your season to mix it up. Gift a KitchenAid stand mixer this year and make more than meals.

• 1:25:12Speaker 01

  At Peloton, sometimes thinking big means thinking small. Introducing the new Peloton Tread Flex. Our first foldable and movable tread that's just about three feet stowed so you can roll it away. With an ultra quiet and comfortable belt that whispers while you run. Made to fit however you move and fit to move wherever you like. Let yourself run. Peloton. Explore Peloton Tread Flex at onepeloton.com.

• 1:25:43Speaker 07

  Fall never arrives all at once. First the air, then the light. And slowly the things you love begin to find each other. A jacket meets a dress. A hoodie slips beneath a blazer. An old cap finds a new scarf. Because you don't simply step into the season. You create it layer by layer until it finally feels like fall. Find fall your way at Ross.