Pod Insights Sh**ged Married Annoyed Please Keep Me Anonymous with Mel Giedroyc About this episode On this week's podcast Chris and Rosie are joined by the wonderful Mel Giedroyc.
Mel joins the pair the day after The BAFTAS and has a brilliant reveal about her outfit. They discuss award ceremonies, talking Italian and Mel shares her TMJ problem post Last One Laughing... We hear a story from a SMA and there's even some Strictly chat!
As well as this Mel talks about her brilliant podcast, Where There's a Will There's a Wake which is available every week, wherever you get your podcasts!
If you want to get involved and have your stories and voice notes included on the podcast, then get in touch!
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📱: 07874 406650
You can watch the podcast on the Shagged Married Annoyed
YouTube channel: youtube.com/@shagged.married.annoyed
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Transcript 0:00 Speaker 00 Ugh, I hate Mondays.
0:01 Speaker 01 King's Hawaiian Cinnamon Swirl Bite?
0:03 Speaker 00 Uh, Taylor Hansen? Sure, I'll try one. Mmm.
0:09 Speaker 02 Hey, let's get back to work, please.
0:10 Speaker 00 But Taylor Hansen's making my day way better with these new soft and swirly King's Hawaiian Cinnamon Bites.
0:15 Speaker 02 Taylor Hansen? Nice.
0:17 Speaker 01 Try one.
0:18 Speaker 02 Mmm.
0:22 Speaker 03 King's Hawaiian Cinnamon Bites. There's nothing like it.
0:30 Speaker 04 Hello, you are listening to and watching Shag Maradonoid. Please keep me anonymous.
0:34 Speaker 05 Hello, yes, and this week's phenomenal guest is the brilliant, do you know what, I'm gonna say it, national treasure.
0:40 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah.
0:41 Speaker 05 National treasure.
0:42 Speaker 04 For sure.
0:43 Speaker 05 The brilliant Mel Gideroich. Mel is on promoting her podcast Where There's a Will, There's a Wake.
0:48 Speaker 04 Mm-hmm.
0:49 Speaker 05 Which sounds fantastic. She's on talking about all kinds of stuff. She's just, just...
0:53 Speaker 04 Just such a nice woman and also super talented.
0:56 Speaker 05 Incredibly funny. So, listen and enjoy. And if you're watching on YouTube, subscribe. Thanks.
1:02 Speaker 04 Like that, subscribe.
1:03 Speaker 05 Smash that subscribe button, man.
1:25 Speaker 05 Was it you or me? Have I been told this story so many times that we were in a soft play once and a child went down with a full nappy and just left a big... Oh, did someone wrote in? Someone wrote in?
1:33 Speaker 04 Massive streak.
1:34 Speaker 05 Big streak of shit down on us. Yeah. Oh, was that you?
1:36 Speaker 04 That was me.
1:36 Speaker 05 Alright, yeah, yeah.
1:37 Speaker 04 They went down the slide and there was just a streak of shit after them, because it just had a nappy on. And it was one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen. I pulled Robin out of that soft play.
1:48 Speaker 05 We are nearly out of soft play age. We are nearly out of soft play.
1:51 Speaker 04 Oh, guys, you've not got long to go. No, not long. I tell you what it is.
1:55 Speaker 06 It's the noise as well. It's that, it's that very particular sort of, I mean, it's, I, I don't know what, you can't even call it a tone.
2:04 Speaker 04 Tinny like.
2:04 Speaker 06 Yeah, it's just like, it's, oh my god, it's so intense.
2:09 Speaker 04 I used to work in a nursery with, in the two to three room.
2:11 Speaker 06 Oh.
2:12 Speaker 04 And that was the same.
2:13 Speaker 06 Oh, rosy.
2:14 Speaker 05 I'm, I'm lucky now because me and my mates take our, take our youngest to the soft play because my two mates have got kids exactly the same age. So there you go. So we've just passed the age, the stage of, I won't go in with them. So I'm not.
2:27 Speaker 04 Yeah, they're safe.
2:28 Speaker 05 I don't crawl around anywhere now. They can play on their own. That's fine. So I'm nearly out of going there at all. But I just love that moment where one kid starts trying and you see every single dad and mum on the tables just do the meerkat where they're like.
2:40 Speaker 06 Is it mine?
2:41 Speaker 05 You hear a cry. You're like, is it mine, mate? Not mine. Sit back down, back on your phone.
2:48 Speaker 06 I took a niece, actually, to.
2:51 Speaker 05 Well, I'll not be doing any of that.
2:52 Speaker 06 A climbing wall.
2:53 Speaker 05 Right.
2:54 Speaker 06 I sort of, I sort of thought, I'm going to be fun auntie.
2:56 Speaker 04 Yeah.
2:57 Speaker 06 And I, and I said, yeah, I'll take her and her five mates.
3:00 Speaker 04 Stop, what?
3:01 Speaker 06 To a climbing wall. This was a couple of weeks ago.
3:03 Speaker 05 So what do you drive, a bus?
3:05 Speaker 06 We did, we did it in two cars.
3:07 Speaker 05 Right, right.
3:07 Speaker 06 Did it in two cars. And my god, that was a throwback to dark times. That, it was so, why did I ever say?
3:15 Speaker 04 But that's a dangerous.
3:16 Speaker 06 Dangerous.
3:17 Speaker 04 Activity to have.
3:18 Speaker 06 And really foolhardy. And it's, and it's also somebody with a massive midlife crisis on the go, thinking, I can still climb up one of those walls.
3:26 Speaker 05 Oh, so you had to go with it?
3:28 Speaker 06 Well, I thought, I sort of thought I had, you know, fun auntie had to. And then by the end, hatchet faced, totally humorless, sort of shouting, do you know what I mean? Sort of shouting at everybody, just all really awful.
3:41 Speaker 04 They'd be like, she's actually on the telly and she's quite funny.
3:44 Speaker 06 Yes.
3:44 Speaker 04 But she's horrible.
3:45 Speaker 06 She's horrible in real life. She's, and really humorless, really humorless. Yes, that's it. Oh, it's so embarrassing.
3:52 Speaker 04 And talking about embarrassing.
3:54 Speaker 06 Go on.
3:55 Speaker 04 I've just heard, I haven't actually spoke to you about this.
3:57 Speaker 06 Yes.
3:57 Speaker 04 I just heard out there, last night, you were at the BAFTAs last night?
4:01 Speaker 06 Yes.
4:02 Speaker 04 Did you leave your backpack on?
4:04 Speaker 06 Yes, I did.
4:06 Speaker 04 To go and give the award to Mary Berry?
4:08 Speaker 06 Yes, it is.
4:08 Speaker 05 What do you mean?
4:10 Speaker 06 I've got a very, I've got a very light little, it's like, you know, like a school gym bag.
4:17 Speaker 04 Drawstring.
4:18 Speaker 05 Like a G D Sports drawstring bag?
4:20 Speaker 06 Yes, that you get your trainers in, yeah. Yeah, so my niece made it for me. I love my niece. Another niece, not the climbing wall niece.
4:28 Speaker 05 Yeah, fuck her.
4:33 Speaker 04 You've never seen her.
4:33 Speaker 05 Dead to all of us. Yeah, carry on. Sorry.
4:38 Speaker 06 This, this niece, Rosie is her name.
4:41 Speaker 04 Oh, nice, lovely.
4:42 Speaker 06 She's super talented. She made that bag for me when she was 14 years old.
4:46 Speaker 04 Oh, that's lovely. That's sweet.
4:47 Speaker 06 She's brilliant with a sewing machine. Do you know what I mean? She's just got that talent.
4:50 Speaker 04 Love that.
4:51 Speaker 06 Anyway, so I always wear the backpack. It's just, it's part of life every day.
4:57 Speaker 04 Gorgeous.
4:57 Speaker 06 Anyway, you've been to these awards do's and they're delightful. They can be absolutely great. But it's like, it's mayhem, isn't it?
5:06 Speaker 05 Yeah, it's horrible.
5:06 Speaker 06 Thousands of people backstage.
5:08 Speaker 05 Yeah.
5:09 Speaker 06 Chaos. And I get a bit funny if I leave my stuff. I kind of think, will I find it again?
5:13 Speaker 04 Yeah.
5:14 Speaker 06 I mean, it's really stupid. It'll get moved. Will I get home? I've got my keys in there and there's actually something I'm trying to learn. There was just a piece of paper and I had to learn some words and I thought, well, I need, yeah, anyway.
5:25 Speaker 04 Yeah, of course, of course.
5:26 Speaker 06 So I kept it with me at all times and then I just popped it on the back, forgot about it. Went from, you know, pillar to post and blow me down, literally Greg Davis went da da da da da da da da. And Mel and Sue, two steps onto the stage and I thought, the backpack's on. I thought, I thought, yeah, it's too late. A white suit.
5:46 Speaker 06 With feather trim.
5:49 Speaker 05 A fucking drawstring bag.
5:50 Speaker 06 And a drawstring bag. And I just thought, let's just, let's get on with this.
5:54 Speaker 04 Did you mention it at all?
5:54 Speaker 06 Yes, I did. Well, I, I got to the lectern and I thought, it's going to look really odd because there are two bits of quite dirty rope. Just, um.
6:03 Speaker 04 I don't watch it. I neither watch it. I don't watch it. I haven't watched it yet.
6:06 Speaker 06 Across the pristine.
6:08 Speaker 05 We'll get the, we'll get the pictures up here as you're watching now on YouTube. We'll get this up. We'll get the images up.
6:13 Speaker 04 Amazing.
6:14 Speaker 05 That's brilliant.
6:14 Speaker 06 Oh, keeping it real. You're keeping it real.
6:17 Speaker 05 Yeah.
6:17 Speaker 06 Do you know, keeping it menopausal, I would say, Rosie. It's just that, anyway, sometimes you've just got to go, you've just got to go with it, haven't you?
6:24 Speaker 04 Yeah. Do you know what? Humanized. Everyone's a human. Like, sometimes these things, they become where people aren't. And it's so sort of like.
6:33 Speaker 06 Gets a bit sanitized.
6:34 Speaker 04 Yeah. And I love that. I love that you just left your bag on. So what?
6:38 Speaker 06 I did, yeah. I sort of did think. I think Sue made a quip about a security alert or something. I can't remember. I was just, it's all a bit, it's all a bit fudgy. Anyway, the phone was on, everything. Phone was on.
6:50 Speaker 05 Wow.
6:51 Speaker 06 Anyway, all good.
6:52 Speaker 04 Was it a good night other than that?
6:54 Speaker 06 Do you know, I feel, because I said a couple of days before, I'm going to the BAFTAs and my friend was like, "Oh my God, oh my God, oh, you're gonna see blah blah blah." And I was, I felt really old and jaded and miserable and hatchet faced by going, "Yeah." Because it sounds really spoilt when you say.
7:15 Speaker 05 Yes.
7:15 Speaker 04 Because it's a, it's a privilege to be able to go.
7:17 Speaker 06 It's such a bloody privilege. I think maybe the first time you go, but then I say jaded by saying, "Oh darling, you know, oh, I have to go to the BAFTAs." You know, I just think, I don't want to sound like a twat, but you know what I mean?
7:28 Speaker 05 I understand what you mean because it's a thing that a lot, not a lot of people will get to go to and you sound like a sort of, like a first world problems, like kind of like, I don't realise how lucky I am. But I'll say, hands up, we don't do well at these kinds of things.
7:39 Speaker 06 Why, why not, guys?
7:40 Speaker 05 Don't do well being ushered around.
7:42 Speaker 06 Hmm, yeah.
7:43 Speaker 05 I don't do well being ushered around. I don't be, I don't do well being handed like a drinks voucher and going, "By the way, you've got two drinks on this voucher."
7:50 Speaker 06 Yeah.
7:51 Speaker 05 Not these ones, you know, like, you know, when you're going like a, you know, when you're going like a shitty, shitty all inclusiveness, like local beer only.
7:57 Speaker 06 Yes.
7:57 Speaker 05 Like, "Can I get a bottle of corn? I know it's the local beer only in a plastic cup." And I, yeah, I don't like how, I think I was let down by how amazing the look and how everyone looks so important and so free and so glamorous. And it's actually not. It's just a cue. It's a cue from the second you get in. It's a cue. You get there, it's a queue, wait there, you go, you see all these people for their photos on Instagram.
8:17 Speaker 04 I hear get my photo taken.
8:18 Speaker 05 Where are you?
8:19 Speaker 06 I don't like it.
8:19 Speaker 05 You're about to go, have your photo taken.
8:21 Speaker 06 We swerved it actually.
8:22 Speaker 04 Oh, did you? Oh, good.
8:23 Speaker 06 Yeah, put it nice.
8:23 Speaker 05 It's like a Catherine wheel, it's like a Catherine wheel going off in front of you. The flashing, you are not prepared for what the flashing's like when all of them photographers are doing the flash. It's horrendous. It almost knocks you on your arse. And then there's that thing of where you're about, I'm gonna sound like you right, Dick, yeah, but when you're about to go on and they go, oh, two seconds, someone much more famous has just turned up, they're just gonna get their photo taken first and you go, okay. And you wait while like Killian Murphy or someone gets his photo, which actually did happen, but he was more mortified than us, to be fair.
8:47 Speaker 04 He hated it, to be fair.
8:48 Speaker 05 He hated it so much.
8:49 Speaker 04 He was very apologetic. I mean, he's still, still pushing.
8:52 Speaker 05 Still went ahead, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll get him. His deal come, his deal come, Rosie. We'll get him.
8:57 Speaker 06 The great thing about last night was, no, there were some lovely things about it. A, always hanging out with my comedy partner, Susan Perkins.
9:06 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah.
9:06 Speaker 05 Oh, she's the best.
9:07 Speaker 06 Ruddy joy.
9:08 Speaker 05 Yes, of course.
9:09 Speaker 06 And we always have a good time together, which is great. And also, we weren't there for us, we were there to celebrate ninety-one-year-old.
9:15 Speaker 04 Ninety-one.
9:16 Speaker 06 Iconic, legendary, beautiful Mary Berry. So actually, we had a ball.
9:22 Speaker 04 Good.
9:23 Speaker 06 We had a ruddy ball.
9:24 Speaker 04 Well done. You've won it back, you've won it back.
9:27 Speaker 06 Won it back.
9:27 Speaker 04 Because Chris really put a dampener on it.
9:29 Speaker 06 I know. And I was thinking in my head, I was thinking, let Chris take the fact for this.
9:32 Speaker 05 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
9:32 Speaker 06 I'm gonna come up smelling of Rosie.
9:33 Speaker 04 You'll do it next year.
9:34 Speaker 05 Me thing is, no, me thing is, because I just want, like, when, when people look at Instagram.
9:38 Speaker 04 Oh, he's back.
9:38 Speaker 05 No, no, because when people look at Instagram and they see celebrities going on these things and you're all, and you're all done up and it's like, I want to go, look, don't ever feel bad that you're not doing them things, because they are essentially just at a big school prom. All that was, was a school prom.
9:49 Speaker 06 It's work.
9:50 Speaker 05 Yeah, it was a school prom and they're on Instagram, they're on the red carpet, it looks great, they've queued for forty-five minutes to get their photo taken and then they're only allowed certain wine, they're not allowed different wine. Please don't feel bad. Don't watch it and go, don't look at it and go, why aren't our celebrity, it's not that good. All I'm saying is, it's not that good.
10:04 Speaker 04 It's a networking night, but we're not good at networking because we get pissed.
10:08 Speaker 05 We get so pissed.
10:08 Speaker 04 And then I know, we just, every time we go out, we just wanna have a night. It's like, we don't go out very often because we've got little kids.
10:14 Speaker 06 Yeah. So for us, those nights, but nobody else is that drunk.
10:18 Speaker 05 Yeah.
10:18 Speaker 06 I think that's really, but do you, are you the sort of drunks?
10:22 Speaker 04 That sounds awful. The drunks.
10:24 Speaker 05 Yeah, yes, we are continuing.
10:25 Speaker 04 No, that's, that's the wrong word.
10:28 Speaker 06 But when you get giddy.
10:29 Speaker 04 Yeah.
10:30 Speaker 06 On the booze at those affairs. Will you stay out the last, will you be the last people standing?
10:35 Speaker 04 We have.
10:36 Speaker 06 Impressive, that's impressive.
10:38 Speaker 04 But then you watch everybody go home and you think, should we go? Is it uncool to stay? But we stay. We're usually there pretty late.
10:45 Speaker 06 That's good, man. So you bring the party and you just maintain.
10:49 Speaker 04 Yeah.
10:50 Speaker 06 That you see that's good.
10:51 Speaker 05 Because we're doing very rare, you see, because we're, we're normally go homers. We normally have a meal and go home. But at them things, you don't eat dinner if you drink too much and you just forget yourself.
10:58 Speaker 04 Yeah, I haven't got the kids and me, I haven't got work the next day.
11:00 Speaker 05 Yeah.
11:00 Speaker 06 And you dance together.
11:02 Speaker 05 Do now and then.
11:03 Speaker 04 Sometimes.
11:04 Speaker 06 Yeah.
11:05 Speaker 04 You're not a big dancer.
11:06 Speaker 05 I'm not a big dancer. Fourth and strictly is the last thing I'm gonna do.
11:09 Speaker 06 Oh, God, yes. If you came fourth in fucking strictly.
11:12 Speaker 05 It was me, personally.
11:14 Speaker 04 Insane, isn't it? Oh, I was seeing.
11:16 Speaker 06 Chris, that is really good. I'd forgotten that. Fourth is like, it was all fourteen weeks.
11:23 Speaker 04 It was ridiculous. It was ridiculous. It got silly by the end.
11:27 Speaker 06 But do you know that, because Rosie, did you do the Christmas?
11:30 Speaker 04 I did Christmas.
11:31 Speaker 06 Okay, let's discuss. So that's like a three week.
11:33 Speaker 04 Yeah.
11:34 Speaker 06 Isn't it? You've got three weeks.
11:35 Speaker 04 Yeah.
11:36 Speaker 06 But I found, my family said I turned even in that three weeks.
11:40 Speaker 04 Oh, really?
11:40 Speaker 06 They said I became an asshole.
11:41 Speaker 04 You did it with Neil, didn't you?
11:42 Speaker 06 I did it with Neil.
11:43 Speaker 04 Oh, isn't he great?
11:43 Speaker 06 Neil did my tattoos.
11:45 Speaker 05 Ah, yes, he's a tattoo man, isn't he?
11:48 Speaker 04 Yay, he's a really good tattooist.
11:49 Speaker 06 Oh, they're really good. Oh, I've got a lot of time for Neil. He's so nice.
11:53 Speaker 04 If I ever had have done it, I would have, I would have wanted Neil as a part and he was a really good part.
11:59 Speaker 06 But I, even in that three weeks.
12:00 Speaker 05 Can I just say a three weeks to learn one dance is pathetic and you should both be ashamed of yourselves.
12:04 Speaker 04 There was other dancers, there was like a group dance.
12:06 Speaker 05 Oh, it was a good dance as well. Four days you're doing a main dance for me, like, you know, Charleston, four days.
12:12 Speaker 06 But I have to say though, yes, it was a ninety second dance and it took three weeks. It was a street dance. And I thought, when I got the gig, I thought, brilliant. Twenty seconds of that ninety seconds will be dressing the Christmas tree.
12:26 Speaker 04 Mm.
12:27 Speaker 06 Then you come down off the ladder and then you sort of shimmy over. That's another twenty seconds. Then it'll be about twenty seconds of actual dance material.
12:35 Speaker 05 Yeah.
12:36 Speaker 06 With Neil.
12:36 Speaker 04 Not with Neil.
12:37 Speaker 06 Ninety seconds.
12:38 Speaker 05 Yeah, no, no, Neil does not mess about.
12:40 Speaker 04 Mine was so intense.
12:41 Speaker 06 I was frightened. What did you do again?
12:44 Speaker 05 Jive.
12:45 Speaker 06 Oh, good for you, Rosie.
12:47 Speaker 04 The kicky one, yeah. It was the kick. But he, he made me fully learn how to properly do the kicks.
12:52 Speaker 05 Well, yes, because the problem was with you. He learned, he looked and he went, ah, she can do this.
12:58 Speaker 04 Yeah.
12:58 Speaker 05 They're, no, they're incredible. The pros, they teach it to your level.
13:01 Speaker 06 If they, they suss, yeah, I agree with that. I have to say, the dip, the Christmas dip.
13:07 Speaker 04 Mm-hmm.
13:08 Speaker 06 Into the strictly world was lovely. But I don't know if I could hack the full bloody thing. Could you?
13:15 Speaker 04 Um, not, not after watching Chris do it.
13:17 Speaker 06 No.
13:18 Speaker 04 I've been asked a few times, but then I always get wrong of my agent for saying publicly, no, I wouldn't do it. So maybe I would.
13:24 Speaker 06 Babadu, babadu, babadu, bah. Ugh, I hate Mondays.
13:28 Speaker 01 King's Hawaiian cinnamon swirl bite?
13:29 Speaker 00 Uh, Taylor Hanson? Sure, I'll try one.
13:32 Speaker 06 Mmm.
13:35 Speaker 02 Hey, let's get back to work, please.
13:37 Speaker 00 But Taylor Hanson's making my day way better with these new soft and swirly King's Hawaiian cinnamon bites.
13:41 Speaker 02 Taylor Hanson? Nice.
13:43 Speaker 01 Try one.
13:44 Speaker 02 Mmm.
13:48 Speaker 00 King's Hawaiian cinnamon bites. There's nothing like it.
13:58 Speaker 05 Sorry, can I just say, I don't ever read notes, but you've got a degree in French and Italian from Cambridge. When the fuck did that happen?
14:04 Speaker 06 How is more a question. How did that happen?
14:08 Speaker 04 Was that a young person degree or an older person?
14:10 Speaker 06 I wouldn't get it now. It was a young, it was a young'un. Nice. Um, I don't know how it happened, but I did get in. No, listen, I don't want to be all kind of, you know, self-deprecate, self-deprecate. I was all right at languages.
14:25 Speaker 04 Yeah.
14:25 Speaker 06 I really bloody like speaking languages. My dad was really good at languages. He spoke about six.
14:29 Speaker 04 Really?
14:30 Speaker 06 Yeah.
14:31 Speaker 04 Oh, that's, I'm so impressed by languages.
14:32 Speaker 05 That's the most impressive thing.
14:33 Speaker 04 I'm going to, uh, Verona in a couple of weeks.
14:36 Speaker 06 Come on, let's workshop.
14:37 Speaker 04 Italian is one I know, I literally hardly any. French I'm all right with, but what's?
14:42 Speaker 06 What do you want to, what do you, why are you going to Verona? What do you want to do?
14:46 Speaker 04 It's my 40th this year.
14:48 Speaker 06 Quaranta? Quaranta?
14:50 Speaker 04 Is that 40? Yeah, quaranta. So I'll say to them, quaranta.
14:53 Speaker 06 Ho quaranta anni, è il mio compleanno e io voglio bere un sacco di cose.
14:58 Speaker 04 Mm, yeah, don't hate, don't hate.
15:00 Speaker 06 Sì. Rosa.
15:03 Speaker 04 Gabi, is she?
15:04 Speaker 05 That's unbelievable.
15:06 Speaker 04 That's so good.
15:06 Speaker 05 That could have been pigeon Italian.
15:07 Speaker 04 What did you say?
15:08 Speaker 06 It was quite weak. It was quite.
15:10 Speaker 04 That was lovely.
15:11 Speaker 05 Come on, what did you say?
15:12 Speaker 06 I said, I'm 40 years old. I can't remember what I said. I then said, I want to really drink a whole load.
15:19 Speaker 04 Yes, well, that's exactly why I'm going with my mom and my sister. So there we go.
15:23 Speaker 06 Tavirona.
15:24 Speaker 05 Just take the clip of this and just play it to the waiters.
15:26 Speaker 04 All right, I will.
15:27 Speaker 05 You don't even need to learn it. Just play now.
15:28 Speaker 04 No, just how do I ask for, I tell you what, rather than drink, my mom drinks red, we drink white.
15:32 Speaker 06 See?
15:32 Speaker 04 How do I ask for three Americano, black Americanos?
15:36 Speaker 06 Allora, that's weird, actually. When you say in Italy, un caffè americano, it doesn't necessarily mean you're gonna, you're not gonna get a black coffee. You say un caffè, because a coffee in Italy is not a coffee with milk.
15:48 Speaker 04 Okay, so un caffè.
15:49 Speaker 06 Tre caffè.
15:50 Speaker 04 Tre caffè.
15:51 Speaker 06 Look at that. You see, there's all that going on. I'm so pretentious.
15:54 Speaker 05 Wow.
15:55 Speaker 04 If I, I lived in Greece for two years and I literally,
15:58 Speaker 06 How's the Greek?
15:59 Speaker 04 Yeah, not as good as it should be, but,
16:01 Speaker 06 Greek's quite tricky.
16:03 Speaker 04 It's really hot. It's really hot.
16:04 Speaker 06 Yeah, I've never had a, I've never had a crack at Greek.
16:07 Speaker 04 It's, it's nice though, tì canis, calà, calà, sì.
16:11 Speaker 05 Polylego, do you say polylego?
16:12 Speaker 04 Oh, because it's, paracalò, how about it? You speak Greek and you go, you go ligo, per ligo, so very little.
16:19 Speaker 06 Per ligo.
16:19 Speaker 04 Per ligo.
16:20 Speaker 06 Per ligo. Yeah, I would say, I mean, do you want a strongest, you know, you want an americano?
16:25 Speaker 04 Well,
16:25 Speaker 06 I'd just say tre caffè.
16:26 Speaker 04 Tre caffè.
16:27 Speaker 06 Three coffees. But they'll probably give you little,
16:30 Speaker 04 That's fine, we love it.
16:30 Speaker 06 Little shorties.
16:31 Speaker 04 That's fine, we love it, tre caffè.
16:33 Speaker 06 My kids get so embarrassed. We've been to Italy a couple of times with the kids. I think only once, actually, actually, no, maybe twice. And when I start speaking, they just, they're just like,
16:44 Speaker 05 No way.
16:45 Speaker 06 Oh, come on. Because I get, no, because I give it real, I give it real, I show off.
16:50 Speaker 05 Do you?
16:50 Speaker 04 Good for you, you've got, you've got,
16:52 Speaker 05 Are you stroking a cat and telling someone, you can't, you have to give them, do them a favour on your daughter's wedding day?
16:59 Speaker 05 You tell them that Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes. Yeah, right, okay.
17:03 Speaker 04 I get rea- yes, and all this and all, they get so embarrassed.
17:06 Speaker 06 Chris is busy watching The Sopranos again.
17:08 Speaker 04 Ah, that's why.
17:09 Speaker 06 I read The Godfather the other day.
17:11 Speaker 05 You read it, the Mario Puzo book?
17:13 Speaker 06 In Italian.
17:14 Speaker 05 What?
17:15 Speaker 04 Oh, come on, no, come on now.
17:17 Speaker 06 Sorry, oh, I'm sorry, boof. No, because I thought, look, I did a bloody degree in Italian, I should be able to read a book. And I picked it up, it was in Italy actually, I picked it up, it was in a book swap thing. And I thought, I'm gonna read this.
17:29 Speaker 04 Good for you.
17:30 Speaker 05 Wow.
17:30 Speaker 06 So good.
17:31 Speaker 05 Really? I should read it, you know, because I love the, I love the movie.
17:35 Speaker 04 Try and read it in Italian.
17:37 Speaker 05 Don't be ridiculous.
17:38 Speaker 06 Eh, Mario Puzo. Is it Ma- is it Mario? Yeah.
17:42 Speaker 05 It's Mario Puzo, I think, yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:43 Speaker 06 He was, he was quite a character, wasn't he?
17:46 Speaker 05 Yeah.
17:46 Speaker 04 What we got, we've got a list, we've got a list of old films that I hadn't seen, which is shameful.
17:52 Speaker 06 Oh, which ones, which ones?
17:53 Speaker 05 We just did Casino and Goodfellas.
17:56 Speaker 06 I'd never seen them.
17:56 Speaker 05 Should never seen them.
17:57 Speaker 06 Isn't that terrible? Where was I? When did they come out? Because I was not.
18:01 Speaker 05 I believe you were, eh.
18:02 Speaker 04 Was I little, little?
18:03 Speaker 06 Little, yeah.
18:04 Speaker 05 Little, yeah.
18:04 Speaker 06 Were you alive even when Goodfellas came out?
18:07 Speaker 04 Oh, maybe not, I don't know.
18:08 Speaker 05 Oh, bloody.
18:09 Speaker 04 They'd just passed us by. And then if my dad was watching them, I just was like, what?
18:13 Speaker 05 Well, they were automatically uncool because your dad was sitting watching them and they were all, looked old fashioned.
18:18 Speaker 06 Oh, that's the thing, isn't it? That's the thing, you don't want to be.
18:21 Speaker 05 What we've got next, we've got Usual Suspects, you want to watch?
18:23 Speaker 04 Yes, I haven't seen that.
18:25 Speaker 05 Never seen that?
18:25 Speaker 04 Never seen that.
18:26 Speaker 05 So many, Untouchables.
18:27 Speaker 04 Never seen that?
18:28 Speaker 06 I've never seen that.
18:29 Speaker 05 What?
18:31 Speaker 06 Hang on, is that the one when they're all in the police line up?
18:34 Speaker 05 No, that's Usual Suspects.
18:35 Speaker 04 That's Usual Suspects.
18:36 Speaker 05 Untouchables is, eh, Kevin Costner, Sean Connery, Andy Garcia, and, eh, Robert De Niro plays Al Capone. You've never seen it? Robert De Niro played Al Capone, unbelievable, unbelievable, need to watch it. It's about how they got Al Capone, it's how Elliot Ness, played by Kevin Costner, gets Al Capone.
18:56 Speaker 06 Costner was Robin Hood, wasn't he?
18:58 Speaker 05 Wow.
18:59 Speaker 06 I like him, yes.
19:00 Speaker 05 Wow, you just did a pinball, you did a Rosie style pinball, yeah? He was Robin Hood, but not in the film I'm talking about.
19:05 Speaker 06 And was he also a bodyguard? Yes, love that.
19:09 Speaker 05 Also half man, half fish in Waterworld, but, you know, not that way.
19:12 Speaker 04 Oh, yes, was that him? Was he the fish?
19:15 Speaker 05 It was the guy with gills behind his ears in Waterworld.
19:17 Speaker 04 Oh, I'm thinking of Shape of Water.
19:19 Speaker 05 Right, no care.
19:20 Speaker 06 No, didn't see that.
19:21 Speaker 04 It's really good, actually.
19:22 Speaker 05 We've gone pinball, right? We've gone pinball. Anyone listening?
19:25 Speaker 04 We've won a lot of after.
19:25 Speaker 05 Kind of keep it.
19:26 Speaker 04 Sorry, sorry, sorry. Waterworld, oh, that was good.
19:29 Speaker 06 That was at the time the most expensive film ever made.
19:33 Speaker 05 He self-funded it and lost a lot of money on that.
19:35 Speaker 06 Cost a day.
19:35 Speaker 05 Yeah, yeah. I think it was a huge flop. I think I'm sure I'm 99%. That might be a false. I'm sure he self-funded it.
19:42 Speaker 06 And I'm going to pluck this out of the ether. I think it cost 90 million pounds, which at the time was the most.
19:49 Speaker 04 That's a lot.
19:49 Speaker 06 Which was the most expensive film ever made.
19:51 Speaker 04 That's probably not a lot for films now, though, is it?
19:53 Speaker 06 No.
19:54 Speaker 05 That's an independent film now.
19:55 Speaker 06 Is it?
19:55 Speaker 05 That's an independent film now.
19:57 Speaker 06 They said in the paper today, I don't know if this is true, that each episode of Saturday Night Live UK costs 2 million quid.
20:05 Speaker 04 Really?
20:06 Speaker 06 Each episode.
20:07 Speaker 04 That's crazy.
20:08 Speaker 06 How can that be for a telly show? Is that right? Or is that rubbish?
20:12 Speaker 04 I don't know if that's a lot or not a lot. I don't listen a lot in meetings. Is that a lot?
20:16 Speaker 06 I, I, is it? It seemed like a hell of a lot. 2 million for an episode?
20:20 Speaker 05 That's a lot.
20:21 Speaker 04 So that's a lot.
20:21 Speaker 06 Of a live sketch show?
20:23 Speaker 04 But is that not just the fee of the presenter?
20:25 Speaker 05 That might just be because they're getting big, big guys to do it. You never know. Tina Fey did the first one.
20:30 Speaker 06 And it's a big cast, isn't it?
20:31 Speaker 04 It is a big cast.
20:32 Speaker 06 Well, I just hope the cast are getting good money because they're all brilliant.
20:35 Speaker 05 All the padeums, that man.
20:37 Speaker 04 Oh, don't tell me about padeums.
20:39 Speaker 05 Rosie did a thing about padeums.
20:40 Speaker 04 No.
20:40 Speaker 05 We were on tour. We did. We were on tour and our tour managers were talking about how they get padeums or they get like 20 quid or whatever for sandwiches and stuff. Rosie went, padeums? What? I don't get a padeum. I want a padeum. And one of the tour managers went, yeah, no, you just keep all the other money.
20:58 Speaker 05 Listen, this has really, really tickled my pickle. Once at the Edinburgh Festival, you did a wee in a bucket backstage after the performance was over. Then you ended up being covered in your own wee by the next performer who used the bucket for their show.
21:10 Speaker 06 She was a performance artist.
21:12 Speaker 04 What?
21:13 Speaker 06 Yeah, she was a performance artist and Sue and I had shared a dressing room with her. I think her name is Penny Solomon. Penny, if you're listening slash watching, I I apologize from the bottom of my heart. So we were in that tiny venue in the Pleasance.
21:28 Speaker 05 Uh huh.
21:29 Speaker 06 I mean, there's loads of venues in the Pleasance now.
21:31 Speaker 05 Was it a hut or was it inside?
21:32 Speaker 04 Yeah, they've got those kind of like little garage things, haven't they, like portable hut things?
21:36 Speaker 05 Yeah.
21:37 Speaker 04 So you were inside.
21:38 Speaker 06 And it was blooming miles away from the nearest loo, like literally miles away. And we were on, you know, in 10 minutes and I thought, I'm not going to make it back for curtain up. I am freaking desperate.
21:51 Speaker 04 Desperate.
21:51 Speaker 06 Desperate. So I spotted out the corner of my eye, a fire bucket, thought brilliant. Let's let's ju- let's just do the business.
22:00 Speaker 04 Yeah.
22:01 Speaker 06 I'll sort it out. No one will know. I'll put a cloth over it. I'll put a little cloth over it, sort that out when I finish. I said to Perks, this is what I'm doing, you know, anyway, did the biz, did the gig, we did that. We had promised Penny Solomon, as you do in Edinburgh.
22:17 Speaker 05 Yeah.
22:17 Speaker 06 To all your fellow performers.
22:19 Speaker 04 Right.
22:20 Speaker 06 I'll definitely catch your show. I'll definitely catch your show. I'll come and see your show, don't you?
22:24 Speaker 05 Why, when you actually went? That's really not, you're you're all on the go ones. I've said that so many times and never went.
22:28 Speaker 06 No. And and this was our last.
22:30 Speaker 05 Fucking chance.
22:31 Speaker 04 This is a nice lady.
22:33 Speaker 06 This was our last opportunity to go, might even have been her last Perth. So I said to Perks, look, we've got to go and see Penny's show. It's quite heavy. It's performance art. We've got to go and see. So we were in the front row, a couple of our mates as well, literally strapping in. It was heavy.
22:48 Speaker 05 Yeah.
22:49 Speaker 06 It was not a comedy show. It was a brave, poignant piece of performance art. So we were very much just in the zone and she's in a white shift. I seem to remember some sort of long, white muslin thing going on.
23:03 Speaker 04 Okay.
23:03 Speaker 06 And doing lots of stuff, you know, anyway, I think she was calling out for her mother, possibly injecting herself. I don't know. Then she whips off stage and she brought on the fire bucket.
23:17 Speaker 06 Then she reached for an enormous brush and started blessing the audience. Dip, bless, dip, bless. We were covered with my piss.
23:34 Speaker 06 The entirety of the 10 rows covered.
23:37 Speaker 05 Oh, no.
23:39 Speaker 06 And we were, Sue and I, I don't think we've ever laughed so much.
23:44 Speaker 04 I'm still.
23:46 Speaker 06 It was genius.
23:46 Speaker 05 That is.
23:48 Speaker 04 God. Oh, my.
23:51 Speaker 06 It was genius. I'd of course forgotten about it, you know, in the kind of, oh, darlings, oh, thank you so, oh, thank you so much, you know, all that stuff. Totally forgot about it. Well, luckily I didn't take it away because that was one of her key props. But it was.
24:05 Speaker 04 Oh, that is fantastic.
24:07 Speaker 06 Oh, it was, it was genius.
24:08 Speaker 04 Stuff like that though.
24:09 Speaker 05 I love that so much.
24:10 Speaker 04 That's like, oh.
24:11 Speaker 06 It's four in the afternoon, you're watching a performance artist and you're being covered with your own piss.
24:16 Speaker 05 That's amazing. And Sue knew.
24:20 Speaker 06 Sue knew.
24:20 Speaker 05 She knew.
24:21 Speaker 06 She knew. Well, you know that, you know, when you laugh and you can't actually make any noise.
24:26 Speaker 04 Can't breathe, yeah.
24:28 Speaker 06 It was one of those.
24:29 Speaker 05 Like a detention laugh or a funeral laugh. Yeah.
24:31 Speaker 06 Best ever.
24:32 Speaker 05 Can't laugh, not allowed to laugh, have to hold it in, can't make noise, unbelievable.
24:35 Speaker 04 That's like, it's stuff that would be in a sitcom.
24:37 Speaker 05 Yeah.
24:37 Speaker 04 Like, when real life happens, stuff.
24:39 Speaker 06 Yeah.
24:40 Speaker 04 That should be in a sitcom. It's just my favorite thing ever.
24:43 Speaker 05 In the history of notes.
24:43 Speaker 04 Favorite thing ever.
24:44 Speaker 06 But Penny, I feel for Penny though, because I don't, you know, Penny, I don't want, you know.
24:50 Speaker 04 Penny didn't know. She didn't realise.
24:52 Speaker 06 But she, I mean, she, she was slightly, you know, she was slightly doing that because there was, there was a lot of motion in the front row.
25:00 Speaker 05 Laughing so much. Yeah. Oh, my God.
25:03 Speaker 06 But it was the size of the brush. You know, like a, you know, when you walk, you know, your wall papering and you use a wide. A girthy wide brush. It was one of those. It was just woof, woof.
25:14 Speaker 05 Like a one where you're going, if you did like that on the ground, it would go like, like a whack and a, yeah. Oh, God.
25:20 Speaker 04 Beautiful, just beautiful.
25:22 Speaker 06 The volume of water in that brush. It wasn't like a piddly, it was like a proper.
25:26 Speaker 05 Wasn't water though. That's the best bit.
25:30 Speaker 04 There's a story there.
25:31 Speaker 06 Oh.
25:31 Speaker 04 We'd love you to read out if you don't mind.
25:34 Speaker 06 Yes.
25:34 Speaker 04 Thank you so much. Oh. Oh, I love reading out a story. I mean.
25:40 Speaker 05 In English, please.
25:41 Speaker 04 Knowing our, knowing our listeners, it might not be that.
25:44 Speaker 06 I love this.
25:45 Speaker 04 You know, grim.
25:48 Speaker 05 It will be grim. It will be grim.
25:49 Speaker 04 It'll be great, but it'll be, it'll be grim.
25:51 Speaker 05 It'll be grim.
25:51 Speaker 04 It'll be grim.
25:52 Speaker 06 The grimmer the better.
25:53 Speaker 04 The grim.
25:54 Speaker 05 It might be grim, might just be nice. Let's see.
25:56 Speaker 06 Dear Chris and Rosie. Please keep me anonymous.
25:58 Speaker 04 Will do.
25:59 Speaker 06 Recently on the podcast, Rosie mentioned she'd started Pilates.
26:03 Speaker 04 Oh, yeah.
26:04 Speaker 06 And it reminded me of my very first reformer, not reform, reformer Pilates class. I walked in as a complete beginner to one of those classes where everyone else clearly knew exactly what they were doing. Determined not to look clueless, I lay flat on my back as instructed and avoided constantly popping my head up to copy everyone else. I like that. Instead, I decided to just listen carefully and follow the instructor's directions. The problem was she kept referring to your carriage.
26:39 Speaker 04 Oh, no.
26:40 Speaker 06 Put your hands flat on your carriage. Move your feet onto your carriage. Now, knowing Pilates is meant to be good for your pelvic floor, I naturally assumed carriage was just some cutesy Pilates term for your fanny. You know, your undercarriage.
26:59 Speaker 04 Oh, God. Oh, God.
27:02 Speaker 06 So good.
27:04 Speaker 05 Oh, it's gorgeous.
27:05 Speaker 06 So for the first 20 minutes of the class, I was basically just touching myself.
27:14 Speaker 06 I did feel slightly self-conscious when the instructor said things like, grab your carriage and pull yourself along. But I assumed everyone else was simply far more experienced with this technique than I was.
27:28 Speaker 05 For me, right, for me, what we're not thinking about here is, there are people, including the instructor, who can see everyone else doing it, and this other lady just literally just grabbing herself. Like, she came in, she didn't do any of the stuff, she just touched her fanny for like an hour, then she left, like, what the fuck? That's great.
27:45 Speaker 06 And then she pulled herself along.
27:47 Speaker 04 What?
27:47 Speaker 05 Like a dog with worms on a carpet.
27:50 Speaker 04 You didn't know what the carriage was there, did you?
27:53 Speaker 05 It's the thing, it's the sliding thing.
27:54 Speaker 04 You're on the bed, yeah, so it's called the carriage, yeah.
27:56 Speaker 06 She goes on.
27:56 Speaker 04 Oh, God, lover.
27:57 Speaker 06 It was only when she announced, now put your tippy toes on your carriage, that I finally thought, hang on, this feels excessive. So I sat up to look around and discovered everyone else had their tippy toes perched on the moving bench with wheels that they were lying on, also known as the carriage.
28:15 Speaker 05 Wow.
28:16 Speaker 04 Wonderful.
28:16 Speaker 06 Absolutely genius.
28:18 Speaker 05 Gorgeous.
28:19 Speaker 04 Oh, lover, God, lover.
28:20 Speaker 05 Absolutely gorgeous.
28:21 Speaker 06 I mean, I've never done pilates, so I didn't even know that the carriage existed, like a skateboard.
28:26 Speaker 04 It's hard, it's hard.
28:27 Speaker 06 Is it good, is it good though, pilates?
28:28 Speaker 04 It's good, apparently it's very good for you, it's like strength training, but you're kind of like working. So the, what I got told just recently, which I didn't realise, the, there's like, they're on springs, and they are equivalent to sort of like weights, and the carriage is like, you move, so it's, it's like resistance, it's really good.
28:45 Speaker 06 Ah.
28:46 Speaker 04 It's good for when you get a bit older.
28:47 Speaker 06 Oh, well, I've got to start doing a bit of this. I've been down the road where I live, I got sort of suckered in by a little blackboard outside, Blast Fitness.
28:57 Speaker 04 Oh.
28:58 Speaker 05 Sounds very aggressive.
28:59 Speaker 04 Sounds ve, it sounds bad for your knees. I don't like the sound of that, oh, there's gonna be a lot of burpees.
29:04 Speaker 06 Blast Fitness.
29:04 Speaker 04 Do you like burpees?
29:06 Speaker 06 No. I've signed up though.
29:08 Speaker 04 Oh, God, I told you.
29:09 Speaker 06 Signed up. I always do that, I sign up.
29:11 Speaker 05 And I'll say it again, there's a reason that burpees rhymes with herpes.
29:16 Speaker 05 They burn.
29:16 Speaker 04 No.
29:17 Speaker 06 Burpees is, burpees is the one where you...
29:20 Speaker 04 Can't do them.
29:21 Speaker 06 You're down on the ground and then you flip out the back legs and then you come back up.
29:25 Speaker 05 And then you jump.
29:25 Speaker 06 Horrid.
29:26 Speaker 04 No.
29:26 Speaker 05 Horrendous.
29:27 Speaker 06 I've got my sex.
29:27 Speaker 04 Walk on an incline.
29:29 Speaker 06 Yeah.
29:29 Speaker 04 Bit of running, bit of light jog and some reform pilates.
29:32 Speaker 05 Yeah.
29:33 Speaker 04 But go and let us know what it's like.
29:34 Speaker 05 So I can understand, sorry, I can understand weights for strength, I can understand running, cycling, all of that. Ah, if I'm getting chased by a fucking wolf, I'm not doing burpees.
29:45 Speaker 06 That is so true.
29:46 Speaker 05 They are not applicable to the real world. I didn't want to say bear because bear sounds too much like burpees and it's, you know, comedy wise, you know. But yeah, if I'm getting chased by a wolf or a murderer, I'm not burping me way out of there.
29:57 Speaker 06 Well, no, but that was a question that was on the internet a lot recently, wasn't it?
30:00 Speaker 05 What?
30:01 Speaker 06 The man or the bear?
30:02 Speaker 05 Oh, that was, yeah.
30:03 Speaker 06 I know, you didn't enjoy that, did you? What was that? Oh, it was whether, would you rather be chased in a wood by a man?
30:09 Speaker 05 A man or a bear.
30:10 Speaker 06 Is the man with weapon or is the man without weapon?
30:13 Speaker 05 I think the whole, the whole point was about the toxicity of men of where so many women.
30:18 Speaker 06 So many women chose the bear.
30:19 Speaker 05 I was upset, I was upset, I was upset.
30:22 Speaker 06 I think, I think, is it a brown bear or a black bear? Oh. What, what? Because no, one is more vicious, isn't it? I think black bears are more vicious. Yeah, one, the, one is, is bigger and more vicious, is that right? I don't, I don't actually know.
30:36 Speaker 05 Hmm.
30:37 Speaker 06 I don't know, I need to know more detail. I called a polar bear snow panda recently, so I've got nothing to talk about.
30:42 Speaker 05 She did call it, she did call a polar bear a snow panda.
30:43 Speaker 06 Do you need to get the name or something?
30:45 Speaker 05 You did with snow panda, wasn't it? Is that what you said, a snow panda? It's fucking bang on to be fair, like.
30:49 Speaker 06 I think I'm losing my mind. Getting into that bear.
30:56 Speaker 00 Ugh, I hate Mondays.
30:57 Speaker 01 King's Hawaiian cinnamon swirl bite?
30:59 Speaker 00 Uh, Taylor Hanson? Sure, I'll try one.
31:02 Speaker 06 Mmm.
31:05 Speaker 02 Hey, let's get back to work, please.
31:06 Speaker 00 But Taylor Hanson's making my day way better with these new soft and swirly King's Hawaiian cinnamon bites.
31:11 Speaker 02 Taylor Hanson? Nice.
31:13 Speaker 01 Try one.
31:14 Speaker 02 Mmm.
31:18 Speaker 03 King's Hawaiian cinnamon bites. There's nothing like it.
31:27 Speaker 05 So Mel, your podcast, Where There's a Will, There's a Wake.
31:31 Speaker 06 Yes.
31:31 Speaker 05 Lovely title, tell us about that.
31:33 Speaker 06 Will you come on, will you come on, guys? We've never done it.
31:35 Speaker 05 Yeah, we'd love to.
31:36 Speaker 06 You would be my dream.
31:38 Speaker 05 Really?
31:39 Speaker 06 Let's, let's get it sorted.
31:40 Speaker 05 So what's the?
31:41 Speaker 06 It's so fun.
31:43 Speaker 05 What's the, what's the, what's the hook?
31:45 Speaker 06 It's about death. I love it.
31:47 Speaker 05 I always talk about death.
31:48 Speaker 06 But it's, but it's so fascinating. A lot of comics come on it, which is just brilliant. And we just go to all the mad places. So basically the premise is it's what do you want for your funeral? Who do you want to be there? What's your last supper? What are your last words? Do you want to be buried or cremated? It's all the detail.
32:08 Speaker 05 Wow.
32:09 Speaker 06 Around death. And it is. It's, it's really, really fun.
32:15 Speaker 05 Yeah.
32:15 Speaker 04 All right, I know, I know all mine already. We need to do, we need to get this sorted.
32:19 Speaker 06 Please come on.
32:19 Speaker 04 Yeah. I'm Catholic, we talk about death all the time. Same. Yeah, we love death.
32:24 Speaker 06 It's full circle. I've been to so many funerals of late.
32:27 Speaker 04 Have you?
32:27 Speaker 06 Been to so many, yeah.
32:30 Speaker 05 What, as research or?
32:34 Speaker 04 It's a good, it's a really good thought, actually.
32:37 Speaker 05 Can I sell some business expense? This, this black hat. This veil. Yeah.
32:43 Speaker 04 It's grim. Everyone dies.
32:44 Speaker 06 Everyone dies. It's, it's the only certainty of life.
32:47 Speaker 05 It is.
32:48 Speaker 06 Is that we will die. But it is fun. It's not a kind of morbid. And in fact, lots of people leave the podcast saying, God, I feel, I feel loads better, I feel loads better about death now.
32:59 Speaker 05 Really?
33:00 Speaker 06 Yes, and actually it makes you, yeah, it makes you feel the.
33:03 Speaker 05 Talking can make you feel better about it. Yeah, yeah.
33:05 Speaker 06 Crackle of life.
33:06 Speaker 05 Yeah.
33:07 Speaker 04 Okay, that's exciting.
33:08 Speaker 05 You've also got it in your notes here, which I'm fascinated by. You got Jorik from Last One Laughing.
33:13 Speaker 06 This is the absolute truth. I'm not just doing this as a kind of showbiz, showbiz.
33:17 Speaker 05 Right.
33:18 Speaker 06 And I feel embarrassed about it.
33:19 Speaker 05 Right.
33:19 Speaker 06 Because it is very, very first world and also showbiz asshole.
33:24 Speaker 05 Yeah.
33:25 Speaker 06 I'm going to share with you.
33:26 Speaker 04 Okay, no, go for it.
33:27 Speaker 06 Tomorrow afternoon.
33:28 Speaker 05 Uh huh.
33:29 Speaker 06 At three o'clock, I'm, so embarrassing, I'm going to see a jaw masseuse.
33:37 Speaker 04 You're going to get the hands in your mouth.
33:38 Speaker 06 Hands in mouth.
33:39 Speaker 04 Mm hmm.
33:39 Speaker 06 Have you had it done?
33:40 Speaker 04 No, but we were just talking about it recently.
33:43 Speaker 05 Yeah.
33:43 Speaker 06 This is agony.
33:44 Speaker 04 You got TMJ?
33:45 Speaker 06 I've got TMJ.
33:46 Speaker 04 Oh, no.
33:46 Speaker 06 This is ag.
33:48 Speaker 04 Oh, that's, it's not nice.
33:49 Speaker 06 Since Last One Laughing.
33:50 Speaker 04 Oh, because you were holding it in so much.
33:52 Speaker 06 Because I did, for some bloody reason, I was going like that. Because it was, it really did stop.
33:58 Speaker 04 Stop the laughing?
33:59 Speaker 06 It was a clench of the buttock, good for pilates.
34:02 Speaker 04 Yes, it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
34:04 Speaker 06 Plus this. Equals.
34:08 Speaker 06 Latex glove tomorrow.
34:10 Speaker 04 Get that massage.
34:11 Speaker 05 No way.
34:12 Speaker 04 I think a lot of singers have, have it done.
34:16 Speaker 06 I thought I had it a few years ago, just, well, but I had an abscess. Oh, because my first port of call was the dentist.
34:24 Speaker 04 Yeah. And did they see it? It was, he said, TMJ, off you go.
34:27 Speaker 05 That's amazing. I mean, what a heck of an advert for the show. You were trying so hard to not laugh on last one, laughing that you literally gave yourself TMJ.
34:36 Speaker 06 Well, I'll tell you for why. So we're all sitting on the sofa before we start. And Jimmy Carr's giving out the housekeeping notes. This is how the show works, blah, blah, blah. This is what happens. And then banter, banter, banter, laughter. And then he looked at me and went, well, you'll be out in 10 seconds. And then, and I was laughing. I was kind of going like that. But inside I was like.
34:56 Speaker 04 No, I will not.
34:57 Speaker 06 Uh, okay. Yeah, I'm very, I'm a bit like that.
35:01 Speaker 04 Competitive.
35:02 Speaker 06 I just feel my ancestors on my shoulders. Feel the family, just.
35:08 Speaker 04 The family way.
35:09 Speaker 06 No, I do. I feel them all going, you will not let this man tell you what to do. They're Polish. Terrible impression. You will not let this man tell you what to do. No, honestly, I feel my granddad, my great granddad, my great grandmother. And I just thought, Jeff, you, Jimmy Carr.
35:25 Speaker 04 Yeah.
35:26 Speaker 06 I'm gonna try and.
35:27 Speaker 04 How long were you in?
35:29 Speaker 05 20 seconds.
35:30 Speaker 04 No, no, you weren't.
35:33 Speaker 04 You were quite a while, yeah.
35:34 Speaker 05 You had to be to give yourself TMJ, yeah.
35:37 Speaker 06 But this side of the jaw, I'm telling you.
35:38 Speaker 04 Bless you. Well, I hope it gets sorted.
35:41 Speaker 06 I'll, I'll report back.
35:42 Speaker 04 They'll go right in. I've seen videos, like massage all inside. Might be quite nice.
35:46 Speaker 06 Is it like sicky, bringing up the old?
35:49 Speaker 05 I don't like a latex glove. Like I don't like the smell or the taste of a latex glove.
35:52 Speaker 06 She's French. She's been in touch and I kind of think.
35:55 Speaker 04 You chat to her.
36:01 Speaker 04 That's all I know. Je m'en.
36:07 Speaker 04 Oh no, what's it, jamalala, jamalala gauche, jamalala. Um, jaw, um, machoir. Jamalala machoir.
36:17 Speaker 05 Wow, the fact that you just knew jaw out of nowhere.
36:20 Speaker 04 I did a degree though.
36:21 Speaker 06 Why is that Preston and I have a bard? Yes, why did that get nothing?
36:25 Speaker 04 That was good.
36:27 Speaker 05 You get, but you see jaw's really specific.
36:29 Speaker 04 Jamalala.
36:30 Speaker 05 Yeah.
36:30 Speaker 04 I have a bard, don de est, whatever, jemapel.
36:34 Speaker 05 Yeah, but you, you, so what you did there was you did a little bit of tourist French. I have a bard, you know, where is the whatever, what time is the thing?
36:43 Speaker 04 I don't think that's tourist French.
36:44 Speaker 05 It is pretty tourist French, right?
36:45 Speaker 04 I think that's good.
36:46 Speaker 05 You whipped out jaw out of no, jaw's a very specific word.
36:49 Speaker 04 I, but I did do a degree gang, come on, I bloody should be able to do jaw for Pete's sake.
36:54 Speaker 05 Fair enough.
36:55 Speaker 04 Jaws.
36:55 Speaker 05 So is jaws called jaws in French or is it called?
36:58 Speaker 04 Do you know, I mean, I'd love it if it were, I don't think it is though, is it? It'd be jaws, would it? Machoir. I don't know, I don't know. Me, me mum's watching a, a Welsh drama at the minute and just says it's the weirdest thing because they speak, they speak in fluent Welsh, but then all of a sudden they go, and then they go, a glass of red wine.
37:19 Speaker 04 And she's like, it's wild, yeah, it's wild. And you know what, she said it's really good, it's called, um, oh god, I'm gonna get it wrong, it's called ninety four or something, it's on ITV. I think my mum does the floor managing on that. Oh really? She, her and Andy are obsessed, but they say, they're just speaking fluent Welsh, so you read the subtitle and then all of a sudden, yeah, like, and down to the shop. It's just random little things. They're doing some good stuff in Welsh actually, aren't they? Oh yeah, I need to watch it, they've said it's really good.
37:44 Speaker 05 I did, uh, I don't know if I told you this, I went and played, I played golf the other week when I was on tour and I was on my own and I got paid with a, a team. Uh, and it was two young lads, brothers, um, both live over here but from France and the mum was visiting them. She was full French and I went round the full golf course, full eighteen holes, four hours with these. Um, and they were talking to me quite a lot, but a lot of the time they were just talking to each other in French. It was, and as not a very good golfer, it was really fucking uncomfortable.
38:13 Speaker 04 It's my worst nightmare, just sharing a golf game.
38:16 Speaker 05 I went for a walk. I basically went, realistically, if you take the golf out of it, I went for a walk in the field for four hours with two French lads and their mum.
38:25 Speaker 04 Speaking French.
38:26 Speaker 05 And I was ignored for quite a lot of the time.
38:28 Speaker 04 But you, yeah.
38:29 Speaker 05 And I kept going, what's, what's French for three put? And they would tell us, and I would go, what's French for gimme? What's French for gimme? Do you know that gimme?
38:36 Speaker 04 What is gimme?
38:37 Speaker 05 Gimme is like, if it's, if it's within, if it's within a certain, you don't have to take the next putt, you go out to gimme. I know you'll get that in. So if it's within a couple of feet, you go out to gimme.
38:46 Speaker 04 That's out the degree realm, I would say, isn't it?
38:48 Speaker 05 But yeah, so I asked a few French phrases, but then most of the time they were just talking to each other.
38:52 Speaker 04 I can't give you gimme, I'm sorry.
38:53 Speaker 05 But then I would talk to one of them for a while and then he would go, yeah, yeah. And then he would turn and he would talk to his brother in French and then they'd both start talking in French and I'd be like,
39:00 Speaker 04 This English.
39:01 Speaker 05 What are you saying? What are you saying? Lying pig.
39:08 Speaker 05 Well, it's been lovely. Thank you so much. So lovely to chat here.
39:10 Speaker 04 I love it here. I love your paneling. I love the whole thing.
39:12 Speaker 06 Come whenever you want.
39:14 Speaker 05 Well, if you're the hit one, put that fire on, let all the wood in there.
39:17 Speaker 04 But please, I'm telling you, please come to where there's a will as a way. Let's get a tour. You will, honestly, you will.
39:23 Speaker 05 Brilliant.
39:24 Speaker 04 We love that. We love talking about that.
39:25 Speaker 05 Brilliant. Oh, we love talking about death. Thank you.
39:27 Speaker 04 I do as well, yeah.
39:37 Speaker 04 I hate Mondays.
39:38 Speaker 01 King's Hawaiian cinnamon swirl bite?
39:39 Speaker 00 Uh, Taylor Hansen? Sure, I'll try one.
39:42 Speaker 04 Mmm.
39:45 Speaker 02 Hey, let's get back to work, please.
39:47 Speaker 00 But Taylor Hansen's making my day way better with these new soft and swirly King's Hawaiian cinnamon bites.
39:51 Speaker 02 Taylor Hansen? Nice.
39:53 Speaker 01 Try one.
39:54 Speaker 02 Mmm.
39:58 Speaker 03 King's Hawaiian cinnamon bites. There's nothing like it.
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