Pod Insights Sh**ged Married Annoyed Beer Spas, Baby Shower Beef and Buying Warts About this episode On this week's Shagged married Annoyed Chris and Rosie Ramsey have a holiday debrief, Chris suggests a 40th Birthday trip for Rosie, and a new way to get rid of warts and potentially verruca's is shared on the podcast!
Rosie reveals her thoughts on Baby Showers, Chris had some beef over weather icons and the pair get deep over AI...
All of this plus a brilliant voice note, more A1 sex shop chat and some second hand gold clubs!
If you want to get involved and have your stories and voice notes included on the podcast, then get in touch!
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Transcript 12,773 words · 7 speakers
0:00 Speaker 00 Coming up on this week's episode.
0:02 Speaker 01 We talk holiday buffet.
0:04 Speaker 00 Chris saved a kid on holiday.
0:05 Speaker 01 Did save a kid. Not like saved up like pocket money, saved us in a life.
0:10 Speaker 00 Yeah. Chris is leaving his family and going to partake in a BS bar.
0:14 Speaker 01 Very exciting.
0:14 Speaker 00 Shocking.
0:15 Speaker 01 Rosie tells her exactly what she thinks about baby showers.
0:17 Speaker 00 Oh god. Obviously, as always, we have our beefs and questions from you lovely lot.
0:22 Speaker 01 Enjoy.
0:23 Speaker 00 Ugh, I hate Mondays.
0:25 Speaker 02 King's Hawaiian cinnamon swirl bite?
0:27 Speaker 03 Taylor Hanson? Sure, I'll try one.
0:29 Speaker 00 Mmm.
0:32 Speaker 04 Hey, let's get back to work, please.
0:34 Speaker 03 But Taylor Hanson's making my day way better with these new soft and swirly King's Hawaiian cinnamon bites.
0:38 Speaker 04 Taylor Hanson? Nice. Try one. Mmm.
0:45 Speaker 05 King's Hawaiian cinnamon bites. There's nothing like it.
0:53 Speaker 00 Hello, you all listening and possibly watching Shag Mar Denoyd with me, Rosie and my husband, Chris.
0:59 Speaker 01 Hello.
1:00 Speaker 00 Hi guys.
1:01 Speaker 01 Hello. Hey, it feels like we've had ages off because we banked a couple before we went away.
1:05 Speaker 00 I know.
1:05 Speaker 01 I feel like we haven't done this for ages.
1:07 Speaker 00 We only did it last week.
1:09 Speaker 01 No, week before.
1:10 Speaker 00 Oh gosh.
1:10 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, we had last week off.
1:12 Speaker 00 Yeah, alright. And we haven't seen much because I've been away for work.
1:15 Speaker 01 You've been away, you did a little exciting work thing that we're not allowed to talk about at the moment, but I'm very excited to tell everyone about it when it finally happens. I've just realised I've got a watch tan line on me hand.
1:23 Speaker 00 Oh, that's cute. Oh, that's very, oh, that's very dad. That's very like, you're an old man life, yeah.
1:30 Speaker 01 Is that it?
1:31 Speaker 00 Yeah. Because when you're younger, don't wear watches.
1:34 Speaker 01 No, you don't, do you?
1:35 Speaker 00 I didn't wear watches for years.
1:37 Speaker 01 I don't think I wore a watch until I was a comedian.
1:40 Speaker 00 Alright, when you had to check the time.
1:41 Speaker 01 I had to time myself on stage. I didn't, I had one of them, I fucking loved them. I had one of them, the Casio one, digital one, but with the metal strap.
1:47 Speaker 00 Nice, nice.
1:48 Speaker 01 I really liked that. But yeah, I had a holiday watch on, just because I can time just how long I've been in the shade. So I've got me holiday, I have got dad things, I've got me holiday watch tan and I've got me heat rash on me arm.
2:00 Speaker 00 Have we not done it since we've been back on holiday?
2:02 Speaker 01 Nah, we haven't done it since we got back from holiday.
2:03 Speaker 00 I've got stuff wrote down from the holiday and I'm thinking, but it was a while ago, but no, it wasn't.
2:08 Speaker 01 Because we didn't, we got back, we only got back last thing. Thursday.
2:10 Speaker 00 Honestly, the day is, I'm, I'm lost.
2:12 Speaker 01 I mean, this is less of a podcast and more of a hot, like a, a life admin checkup.
2:16 Speaker 00 Yeah.
2:17 Speaker 01 Just a chat, just a family chat.
2:18 Speaker 00 Didn't have a lovely time.
2:20 Speaker 01 Do you know what it is? We had a bloody lovely time and it was fantastic.
2:22 Speaker 00 One of my favourite holidays and I think it's just because like you're not worrying if your kids are going to die all the time.
2:29 Speaker 01 Right, because they're a little bit older.
2:30 Speaker 00 Just that little bit older and just like, I remember when they were little and you can't, you can't sit down because they get up and then they just run around and you're by the pool and it's wet and it's like, they're going to crack their head open, they're going to, they're going to smash their teeth in, they're going to drown. Like, you know, it's, it, it was just great. Oh my God. We haven't had a, we haven't had a debrief about the little girl who nearly drowned because our mam was a useless bitch.
2:55 Speaker 01 I can't, I can't believe all of this. So right, so we should have made probably, apologies to everyone listening, me and you should have just spoke to each other just before. This shows how little prep beforehand, all of this podcast is off the cuff because you think we've already spoke about the holiday on here, but we haven't spoke about the holiday on here.
3:11 Speaker 00 No.
3:12 Speaker 01 So everything has come out of the floodgates there. I can't believe you're already on to the woman who ignored her child so much that the child just jumped in the fucking pool.
3:19 Speaker 00 Let's go into it.
3:20 Speaker 01 I had a scream across the pool that, so basically there was this little girl and she was only three.
3:25 Speaker 00 She was three.
3:26 Speaker 01 And she kept coming over to us because she was playing with Rafe for a little while. She kept asking me to play with her, which as you all know, I can barely stand me own kids. So someone else's child trying to make me play with them on me fucking holiday of all things.
3:39 Speaker 00 No, but she kept asking, I'm like, honestly, and I know she's only three and God love her. She was cute as a button and she's a three year old, so it's not her fault, but she had daddy issues.
3:49 Speaker 01 Yeah.
3:50 Speaker 00 She had pure daddy issues. All she wanted to do was play with the dads.
3:53 Speaker 01 She just want, yeah, it was really weird.
3:54 Speaker 00 Like latching herself on to her dad. And I was like, and I couldn't, I couldn't keep my eyes off her.
3:59 Speaker 01 Yeah.
4:00 Speaker 00 Because she was just walking around without armbands on, clearly couldn't fucking swim.
4:04 Speaker 01 Yeah.
4:04 Speaker 00 Anyway, so we ended up.
4:06 Speaker 01 Sorry, can I just, she was very much exercising the Chris Ramsey, uh, method of making friends on holiday, which was standing next to Peter one player. But although she, she did a more, a more direct approach, she would just go and can I play with you? She was just saying, can I play with you? And I was like, you know what? Fair play. As an only child myself, it's, it's, it's a, it's a tough thing to do, but she was only three and she's already mastered it. She'll be a fucking professional by the time she's six.
4:29 Speaker 00 Yeah. Oh, she was sweet. But like, we, she was, so she was playing with Rafe. And Rafe was a bit sick of our shit, because Rafe was like, stop asking me dad to get that thing from the bottom of the pool, like he's my dad.
4:40 Speaker 01 Thing in.
4:41 Speaker 00 And he doesn't want to play with you.
4:41 Speaker 01 She was going, it sinks, it sinks. And I was going, I know it sinks, don't throw it again, because I'm not getting it. And then I have to put it back.
4:45 Speaker 00 And then I kept going, where's your mum? And I knew where our mum was, because I could see her over the other side of the pool on her fucking phone, leaving her in with no armband.
4:52 Speaker 01 Guys, she was getting fucking judged, like, she was getting judged.
4:56 Speaker 00 Well, then it's turned into, everybody around the pool was very much like, because this kid had like latched herself on to every single person around the pool.
5:03 Speaker 01 While a mum didn't even look up.
5:04 Speaker 00 So everyone was like, my mum's just not even watching. Anyway, so then what happened was, I kept, we ended up having lunch, and so I was like, fuck off.
5:13 Speaker 01 Yep.
5:13 Speaker 00 Go and find your mum.
5:14 Speaker 01 Yeah.
5:14 Speaker 00 And I'm not giving you any lunch, like, you know, anyway. And so I was keeping an eye on her because she didn't have any armbands on. And, and then all of a sudden, she jumped in the pool.
5:26 Speaker 01 Yeah, she jumped in and we were on the other side of the pool. She was throwing a ball, she went to this guy and a kid, and a guy and the guy's kid, and she was like, can I play with you? And the guy threw her something there. And she just jumped in the pool. And the bloke was standing there looking, and she fucking went under. And I was looking at her, and she went under and she didn't come back up.
5:40 Speaker 00 She didn't come back up.
5:41 Speaker 01 And, but the guy was just looking at her, just looking at her head bobbing under the water, because you don't just want to grab someone else's kid because of the day and age we live in. So I stood up on the sunbed and I went, mate, she can't swim. And he obviously immediately grabbed her and took her on. Everyone looked at me. And then the mum, you know, came off Instagram, thank God, or whatever the fuck she was doing, and came and got the kid. But it was like.
6:02 Speaker 00 You had to stop me from going to say something. I was like, I was literally.
6:03 Speaker 01 Yeah, you were gonna go and say something. It was nuts.
6:06 Speaker 00 I was just seething. I just thought, what?
6:08 Speaker 01 But I made loads of friends that day, just because I saw a thing, well, I, you know, because like everyone was united about how much they fucking hated this woman. And no one went and said anything to her, because obviously, you know, we didn't, we all just, we're gossiping about her behind her back. But we, I read a thing online recently that said, the best friendships are made by the mutual hatred of someone else. And I honestly.
6:25 Speaker 00 Yeah, it's true.
6:26 Speaker 01 Made some friends for life that day.
6:27 Speaker 00 Then she, but then for the rest of the day, she had to actually make an effort. Did I tell you what I heard as well?
6:32 Speaker 01 No.
6:32 Speaker 00 When they were in the pool together, the mum and the daughter, because you know there was a bloke with them?
6:36 Speaker 01 Yes, I thought it was the grander, but it was the dad.
6:38 Speaker 00 Was a grander or a great grander, because this man was in his. Early nineties.
6:44 Speaker 01 Yeah.
6:44 Speaker 00 And there I heard the girl, the woman, who was about my age, younger maybe.
6:48 Speaker 01 She was a bit younger.
6:50 Speaker 00 Younger.
6:50 Speaker 01 Sorry love, she was younger than you.
6:51 Speaker 00 Thanks. Um, say to the daughter, wave to daddy.
6:54 Speaker 01 Yeah.
6:54 Speaker 00 And I thought, that's her dad.
6:57 Speaker 01 No wonder she needed, like, she was looking for sort of younger models of dad. Really, we had, it was really.
7:03 Speaker 00 It was very strange, anyway.
7:04 Speaker 01 It's actually, this is the first time we've really talked about it.
7:06 Speaker 00 I know we haven't spoken about this.
7:07 Speaker 01 It's actually got quite dark and quite deep, just on the intro of the podcast.
7:09 Speaker 00 Yeah, so there you go. And there's absolutely no way that she'll be listening to this, so.
7:13 Speaker 01 Oh, definitely not.
7:14 Speaker 00 Great. And honestly, if you are, shame on you, because your child almost drowned.
7:20 Speaker 01 You owe me a massive, massive debt of gratitude, because my wife was gonna come over and wring your fucking neck that day, and I stopped her. Um, listen, let's keep it light, let's leave some other stuff, let's move into the, let's, let's, let's, let's pay the bills here. It's time for this week's lucrative, lucrative sponsor. But first of all, thank you for watching, thank you for being here, thank you for listening, thank you for being part of it. Please continue to like and subscribe and all of that stuff. But it's time for this week's lucrative, lucrative sponsor. Don't know if I've mentioned this before.
7:44 Speaker 00 Yeah.
7:45 Speaker 01 May have mentioned it before in passing, but it's definitely not been the sponsor, and it's starting to do me head in. And I'm going on a golf trip tomorrow, and I look forward to seeing it all again on my golf trip when I'm in Spain. This week's sponsor is the omelette station on holiday.
7:58 Speaker 00 Oh, okay.
7:58 Speaker 01 Why, why, why do people queue up for the omelette station, like they are giving out the fucking fountain of youth?
8:07 Speaker 00 Hmm.
8:08 Speaker 01 Like, an omelette is the most incredible thing, that, that, fucking rows of men standing, what?
8:16 Speaker 00 I disagree. I do not partake in the omelette queue.
8:19 Speaker 01 Right, exactly. Neither do I, because it's rows and rows of men, like they've never had a fucking omelette in their life. It's a couple of fucking eggs and a bit of.
8:25 Speaker 00 I guarantee, I guarantee they don't.
8:27 Speaker 01 What the hell?
8:27 Speaker 00 I guarantee they don't eat omelettes on holiday.
8:29 Speaker 01 I've never known anything like it.
8:30 Speaker 00 I think it's like a.
8:31 Speaker 01 I've never known anything like.
8:32 Speaker 00 A special, like, oh, it's been made fresh.
8:34 Speaker 01 I've never known anything like it.
8:35 Speaker 00 Yeah.
8:35 Speaker 01 Full fuck, like, men just in a queue holding the, there's an omelette station, there's an omelette.
8:41 Speaker 00 Omelettes can get in the bin in my opinion.
8:42 Speaker 01 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
8:44 Speaker 00 No, fuck off, I think omelette's a rung.
8:46 Speaker 01 Back the fuck up here.
8:46 Speaker 00 Frittata, you've got me attention, but it's just.
8:50 Speaker 01 What's in a frittata?
8:52 Speaker 00 A frittata.
8:53 Speaker 01 I didn't mean to say that. Oh, there's a bit of tete in there as well.
8:56 Speaker 00 Onion, potato.
8:57 Speaker 01 Nah.
8:58 Speaker 00 Eggs.
8:58 Speaker 01 Bit too much.
8:59 Speaker 00 Like peppers and that.
9:00 Speaker 01 I've said it before.
9:01 Speaker 00 I love a frittata, but omelette.
9:03 Speaker 01 Nah, I just, I can't, I can't get over how much people lose their shit for the omelette station. There's always, it's the most packed part of the breakfast buffet. Fuck it, go and get an egg.
9:11 Speaker 00 I tell you what, I lost my shit over on the breakfast, I love a breakfast buffet.
9:15 Speaker 01 You do.
9:15 Speaker 00 Literally.
9:16 Speaker 01 Kids love a breakfast buffet.
9:17 Speaker 00 Oh, oh god, aye.
9:18 Speaker 01 Although it should be called for the kids, eh, let's all go and put Nutella on my t-shirts for the day.
9:23 Speaker 00 Yeah.
9:24 Speaker 01 Useless pricks.
9:25 Speaker 00 Like, can we, this is just to all of the restaurants abroad, right? Can you not put fucking muffins and donuts on your breakfast? Why are you doing that to us?
9:34 Speaker 01 That's a lot like, innit, yeah.
9:35 Speaker 00 Like, why are you, why are you doing that to us? Because, like, it's holiday and you don't wanna, I'm like, yes ma'am on holiday.
9:45 Speaker 01 Yeah.
9:45 Speaker 00 I'm literally like, aye, you can get a nice, aye, I don't care, like, re- Robin just has Coke for every drink and I'm like, I don't care on holiday, brush your teeth nice. But can we just please with the don- the fucking donuts at the breakfast? Reeve, oh, I wanna, you know, the little, he loves a board cake with, like, mandalins.
10:03 Speaker 01 A mandolin, yeah, yeah.
10:04 Speaker 00 He's just, every day, he's just like, I want two board cakes!
10:06 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
10:07 Speaker 00 And I'm like, crack on.
10:08 Speaker 01 There's your sugar spike for the morning.
10:10 Speaker 00 And then waffles with Nutella pancakes. And I'm like, please, just please have three bites of a banana. Please, for the love of Christ. And what I loved on the breakfast buffet. Like, Spanish melon.
10:22 Speaker 01 Oh, I tell you what, honeydew melon? Oh, heavens above. Heavens above.
10:28 Speaker 00 Unbelievable. Also, I'm, I'm like, I go full continental me, like, you, you hate my breakfast, morning breakfast, because I'm like, I'll have a bit of smoked salmon, I'll have me melon, and also what they had there was the con, you know, the like, eh, grated tomato. So I was having like bread with grated tomato and then like, black olives.
10:48 Speaker 01 Yeah, you're basically having a bruschetta, some melon and some fish for your breakfast.
10:52 Speaker 00 You can keep your omelette in there, I can have an omelette at home any day. Although I can't anymore because loose eggs make a shit of myself. So, but I was just loving me life.
11:02 Speaker 01 Yeah, but yeah.
11:03 Speaker 00 And I had to just stop myself from having donuts.
11:06 Speaker 01 So that, that's basically your summary, that's it. Kids eat Nutella every morning, eh, little girl nearly round, I technically saved that by proxy by shouting, eh, Rosie nearly punched her mum. And eh, yeah, eh, everyone goes mad for omelette.
11:17 Speaker 00 Yeah, you're right. Actually, they do go mad for omelettes.
11:20 Speaker 01 Hate it. Just fucking 10 deep queue, waiting for my omelette when we're playing.
11:24 Speaker 00 Do you know what else I noticed about our life?
11:26 Speaker 01 Yeah.
11:26 Speaker 00 We don't go for lunch. We'll have it on the sunbed. Like loads of people.
11:30 Speaker 01 I don't like getting dressed when I've got cream on. I don't like getting dressed when I've got cream on.
11:34 Speaker 00 And then I'm like, how much do you eat in a day on holiday? Like, and I'm a greedy fat pig and we all know this. I could eat. I'm not, this is not me, some almond mum being like, how much do you eat? But how do you go for the buffet breakfast and then go out again for lunch and then have your dinner in the night time?
11:50 Speaker 01 Well, again, it's just holiday, isn't it? It's just, it's what's the same reason we're having fucking waffles for breakfast because you're on holiday. It's excess. You're just going mental.
11:57 Speaker 00 Yeah. For our next holiday.
11:58 Speaker 01 Yeah.
11:59 Speaker 00 Because that was just a five night day. I'd rather have little holidays. I'd rather have two little holidays.
12:03 Speaker 01 He was having two weeks. I'd get gout.
12:05 Speaker 00 Yeah. So in the summer, we're going away for another week. I'm going mad.
12:07 Speaker 01 Yeah.
12:08 Speaker 00 I was, I was careful on that last one with me con tomate.
12:11 Speaker 01 Yeah.
12:11 Speaker 00 I'm going mad.
12:12 Speaker 01 So what we're talking, you're going to have instead of bruschetta for breakfast, you'll have a slice of pizza. Instead of smoked salmon, you'll have a full fried cod with batter instead of melon.
12:22 Speaker 00 I'm going full English. I'm doing the beans.
12:24 Speaker 01 You're going full English?
12:24 Speaker 00 I'm doing the beans. I'm doing the cumin and sausages.
12:26 Speaker 01 Colloagens and full English.
12:27 Speaker 00 Yep.
12:28 Speaker 01 Okay. You know, you have to shout here, ye here, ye beforehand. That's the rule.
12:31 Speaker 00 I didn't know that.
12:31 Speaker 01 Have to shout here, ye here, ye to let everyone know that you're having a full English.
12:34 Speaker 00 Brilliant.
12:57 Speaker 00 Hello and welcome back to this week's episode of Shag Maradona.
12:59 Speaker 01 Hello, hello, hello.
13:00 Speaker 00 Whilst we're on the subject of the holiday, it's still fresh on my mind.
13:03 Speaker 01 Yes.
13:03 Speaker 00 Um, should we? I don't know if this is gonna.
13:08 Speaker 00 Upset some people or whether people will agree with us or whether they won't agree with us.
13:12 Speaker 01 All of the above. Can I just say, everything you're saying now, on any kind of medium, whether it be the internet or telly, mainly telly, depends what the show is, One Show are very safe, anything like this will upset and delight and annoy and be indifferent for everyone. All of the above.
13:29 Speaker 00 This is going to cause a divide, right? And can we just really quickly talk?
13:33 Speaker 01 We haven't okayed this, but okay.
13:34 Speaker 00 Right. We're going to talk about white parties on holiday.
13:38 Speaker 01 Yes.
13:39 Speaker 00 What in the ick fest?
13:41 Speaker 01 Yep.
13:43 Speaker 00 Please dad, don't dress all in white.
13:45 Speaker 01 Yep.
13:46 Speaker 00 Mortification, the whole family look like they're going to get christened in the swimming pool. It's horrible.
13:55 Speaker 01 Oh, you mean baptism night?
13:56 Speaker 00 Baptism night?
13:57 Speaker 01 Yeah.
13:58 Speaker 00 Oh.
13:59 Speaker 01 I can't bear it. So yeah, so we're in a hotel and everyone was like.
14:03 Speaker 00 We are the minority because everybody else was absolutely buzzing to the point where I was like, I think they've booked this hotel because of the white party.
14:11 Speaker 01 I was like, there's no fucking way, people with kids, there is no fucking way you own a white item of everything. No way, unless you've specifically done it for the fact that this hotel has a white party, which it's not even a party. It's nothing was different. Everyone was just wearing white, apart from us. Nothing was different.
14:28 Speaker 00 It was awful.
14:29 Speaker 01 I fucking hated it. The worst bit was though, before the white party, everyone was at the buffet in all their white gear. And I was just like, I'm talking white fucking shoes, trainers, shit. I've got, I've got a fucking five year old. I don't wear white.
14:42 Speaker 00 I know.
14:43 Speaker 01 Ever. I haven't worn white for years since I had kids. Since Robin was born, I have not worn white.
14:47 Speaker 00 It's just horrible. It was very culty. It was just weird and I just didn't enjoy it.
14:51 Speaker 01 You mispronounced that slightly.
14:52 Speaker 00 Well, country and culty. It was just the maddest thing and I, but I know people love it. I was speaking to people around the pool and they were like, oh yeah, last year when we went to the one in Greece and had a white party, it was the best night. We're all in white. And I just thought.
15:07 Speaker 01 So that was it. That's what you want. You want a uniform. You want to all be wearing white. Do you know what I wanted to do? Well, Saturday, we sat, we didn't stay long. We sat there and everyone was sitting around.
15:14 Speaker 00 I had a white jacket on. I was a bit embarrassed. I thought, don't think that I'm getting involved in this.
15:18 Speaker 01 I wanted to walk around table to table and go, you enjoying your white party? And when they go, yeah, I wanted to lean in and go, do you know who else enjoyed white parties?
15:24 Speaker 00 Oh.
15:25 Speaker 01 P Diddy.
15:25 Speaker 00 Well, yeah.
15:26 Speaker 01 And then I wanted to walk away to the next table and say the same thing.
15:28 Speaker 00 It's a very American thing.
15:30 Speaker 01 Yeah.
15:31 Speaker 00 I don't know. Is it because we're northern?
15:33 Speaker 01 It's because we're, we're born, we're old.
15:37 Speaker 00 No, it, no, because it takes, when we were sat at the white party, I in my brain thought of our big, large friendship group of everyone we've ever met in my life. And I could think of a handful of people who would be buzzing.
15:48 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.
15:49 Speaker 00 I think it's us. I think we are the minority.
15:50 Speaker 01 I do believe in the white. Yeah. He has a question then. Okay. Good to your head. Fancy dress or white party?
15:57 Speaker 00 I'd rather go to a fancy dress party. It feels more.
16:00 Speaker 01 I hear both. Can I just say?
16:02 Speaker 00 No, I like fancy dress. I like fancy dress.
16:04 Speaker 01 I hear both, but can I just say?
16:06 Speaker 00 Not on holiday though.
16:07 Speaker 01 One, not on holiday. Two, I feel like the white party is like a bit of a posers version of the, of the fancy dress party. So I actually have, as someone who hates fancy dress, I've got more respect for fancy dress.
16:19 Speaker 00 Because fancy dress can be fun and it's funny and you go, oh wow, with everyone you know.
16:23 Speaker 01 Funny for 30 seconds.
16:24 Speaker 00 Well, you hate fancy dress, but that's fine. But the white party to me was just an absolute cringe fest.
16:30 Speaker 01 It was horrible. It was horrible. And it was all, it was, do you know what it is? I get, and guys, I'm sorry. It was the dads that I hated most.
16:37 Speaker 00 There was dads.
16:37 Speaker 01 Dads walking around in white linen shirts and white shorts going, I am at the white party.
16:41 Speaker 00 Look at you when you're white.
16:42 Speaker 01 Oh, fucking, it was like a dad's advert.
16:46 Speaker 00 It was so strange. It was just the full, it was the fam, it was the Instagram families.
16:51 Speaker 01 Full family.
16:52 Speaker 00 All together, all wearing white. I thought, are you not embarrassed? Not embarrassed? Like, I don't know.
16:58 Speaker 01 I've got, I'm gonna say now.
17:00 Speaker 00 But sorry, can I just, I just want to put in though.
17:02 Speaker 01 Okay, yeah.
17:02 Speaker 00 Robin gave us shit for not getting involved in the white party.
17:05 Speaker 01 Of course he did. And I want to say, dickhead, when you stop spilling Nutella on everything you wear, you can go to a white party. Although can I just say what I think most people listening to the podcast now are thinking? I think we just go to toss as hotels now.
17:17 Speaker 00 Yeah, I think, I think we do. No, but I could imagine it happening at a lot of hotels. I think it's a new, it's a new thing.
17:23 Speaker 01 It happened before, a night before, when we were at.
17:25 Speaker 00 Yeah.
17:26 Speaker 01 Yeah.
17:26 Speaker 00 I think white party is now becoming, it's, it's the new baby shower. Fucking hate baby showers.
17:32 Speaker 01 Alright, alright.
17:33 Speaker 00 Sorry, I know you're getting a-
17:35 Speaker 01 Back in your box, back in your box.
17:36 Speaker 00 Sorry, okay.
17:36 Speaker 01 Back in your box.
17:37 Speaker 00 Am I weird?
17:37 Speaker 01 Are you gonna have to, look, can you, did you enjoy having to issue an apology the other week? Because you're gonna have to issue another one the way you're going.
17:43 Speaker 00 I just-
17:43 Speaker 01 So, back in your box.
17:44 Speaker 00 Let's celebrate your unborn child-
17:48 Speaker 01 Alright, okay.
17:49 Speaker 00 Who, when it comes, I'm gonna have to buy and say-
17:50 Speaker 01 It's like I didn't speak, it's like I didn't speak.
17:51 Speaker 00 Sorry.
17:52 Speaker 01 It's like I didn't speak. It's like I didn't speak.
17:55 Speaker 00 I am holding a baby shower for one of my friends soon, so you would think I love them, because I've held baby showers at the house for loads of people. I didn't have one myself, I didn't have one for either of the kids, because, do you know why?
18:06 Speaker 01 Hmm?
18:06 Speaker 00 I can't drink alcohol at this party, so why would I come? Don't, don't be thinking-
18:12 Speaker 01 Fair.
18:12 Speaker 00 Yeah?
18:13 Speaker 01 Very fair.
18:14 Speaker 00 Steven Bartlett would have a lovely time, me? Absolutely not. I am clamming for a drink. I'm going to a baby shower next, next week. The, I'm a minority, because I think everyone just loves-
18:27 Speaker 01 I think people love an event.
18:28 Speaker 00 Stuff.
18:28 Speaker 01 I don't think we like events, I think that's the problem.
18:30 Speaker 00 No, I love an event. I love a hen party.
18:34 Speaker 01 Yeah.
18:34 Speaker 00 I love like, but, oh, let's sniff nappies with fucking baby food.
18:39 Speaker 01 Sorry, who sniffs nappies?
18:41 Speaker 00 It's a game-
18:41 Speaker 01 What are you talking about?
18:42 Speaker 00 It's a game that you have to do at a baby shower.
18:44 Speaker 01 I didn't know about this.
18:46 Speaker 00 Let's, let's all, let's all guess what's in the fucking nappy, let's what- It's a game.
18:52 Speaker 01 Explain.
18:54 Speaker 00 What do you mean?
18:55 Speaker 01 You haven't explained it, explain the game to us now.
18:57 Speaker 00 The people who are the best friends of the woman who's having the baby will fill nappies with different kinds of food. And you pass them round, grown women with very important jobs possibly, and you all have to smell it and guess what it is. And I want to die.
19:14 Speaker 01 Are you allowed to look at it?
19:15 Speaker 00 You look at it, you smell it, and then also, sometimes they play games where there's music on and guess how many times baby's been said, "Honestly, I could think of one million other things better to do than this."
19:27 Speaker 01 I still, right, rewind, that music game's awful, rewind, so-
19:30 Speaker 00 The whole, the whole thing's awful.
19:31 Speaker 01 Are you blindfolded when they pass the, the nappy round? And you have to smell it?
19:35 Speaker 00 No.
19:36 Speaker 01 Or you have, or you can, so you can look at it, so you can go, that's a cheese string.
19:38 Speaker 00 You go, oh, this is, this is cauliflower, grated cauliflower, I don't know, like, it's just shit, it's just-
19:46 Speaker 00 Chris, they're stupid.
19:48 Speaker 01 That's horrible.
19:49 Speaker 00 They are stupid.
19:50 Speaker 01 I know what your problem is. I know what my problem is as well. I think you're against American things that are forced on us.
19:55 Speaker 00 Yeah.
19:56 Speaker 01 Halloween, baby showers, white parties, they all fall under that.
19:59 Speaker 00 Yeah.
20:00 Speaker 01 Proms, the all, sweet 16.
20:02 Speaker 00 But I can, no, but some of them I can get, because prom is like really sweet, actually. You've spent your full, your full like childhood with these people and you're celebrating finishing school. I think proms actually are amazing. I like proms. It's just, I've just got a thing with baby, I love like Hendu, I think Hendus are great. Um, it's just baby showers. I'm just like, what we're doing?
20:25 Speaker 01 I've nev-, obviously I've never been to one. I've never been invited to one. Thanks, everyone.
20:29 Speaker 00 Look at you.
20:30 Speaker 01 Yeah.
20:30 Speaker 00 I just think, yes, get, get all your girlfriends together and have a lovely little day. But the minute I get a cardboard thing put in front of me and a pencil, I wanna die.
20:41 Speaker 00 And I wanna go, can we not just talk? Can we just get together? And this is lovely. Everyone's dressed really nice. And I love seeing my friends and all these lovely cute little sandwiches and little cakes. And it's really, it's lush, right? I love an excuse to get together as women to celebrate something.
20:56 Speaker 01 It's the pin the tail on the donkey kind of crack.
20:58 Speaker 00 Stop, stop. I'm a grown up. I'm a grown up.
21:04 Speaker 00 I don't wanna guess what your baby's gonna wear because I don't fucking care. And when your baby comes, you'll tell us and I'll go, oh, wow. But I've got, I've got a better pound, do I?
21:17 Speaker 01 Great.
21:18 Speaker 00 Measure the string. How big, how big do you think the belly's gonna be? You've got to measure like a string and you've got to have a conversation with someone going, well, I think you're.
21:25 Speaker 01 No, this is awful. I didn't know any of this.
21:28 Speaker 00 They are, am I alone here? But I just think they're horrible. They're so shit.
21:34 Speaker 01 I had no, I have never paid attention to anything you've told me when you've got back from a baby shower. Cause that all sounds dreadful.
21:40 Speaker 00 Cause I'll tell you right now, I don't, I don't get, I don't do any of this stuff.
21:44 Speaker 01 Wow.
21:44 Speaker 00 I sit there and everyone else can do it and I just drink. No. Get your fucking games out. I hate games.
21:52 Speaker 01 Yeah, you do, you do.
21:52 Speaker 00 Get your fucking games out. I hate, I hate organised fun.
21:57 Speaker 01 Yeah.
21:58 Speaker 00 Let's just get together, celebrate that you're having a baby, which is great, but you know what it is? Your, your feet hurt. You're literally about to drop a baby. Do you want to be here? Probably not. No, you can't drink.
22:07 Speaker 01 See, the blokes go out, blokes have got a better one. We go out, we wet the baby's head.
22:10 Speaker 00 Mm-hmm.
22:11 Speaker 01 Let's all just go out in the piss afterwards. Great, much better.
22:14 Speaker 00 Hence why I didn't have a baby shower. Didn't have either. Because I think it'll waste, waste of time, a waste of fucking money.
22:22 Speaker 01 Listen, you can have a baby shower for the
22:23 Speaker 00 But Rebecca, I'm really looking forward to yours. And Shannon, we'll have a great one.
22:27 Speaker 01 You can have a baby shower for the next one.
22:30 Speaker 00 No, they'll be normal. Babadu babadu babadu ba. Ugh, I hate Mondays.
22:36 Speaker 02 King's Hawaiian cinnamon swirl bite?
22:38 Speaker 03 Taylor Hansen? Sure, I'll try one.
22:41 Speaker 00 Mmm.
22:43 Speaker 04 Hey, let's get back to work, please.
22:45 Speaker 03 But Taylor Hansen's making my day way better with these new soft and swirly King's Hawaiian cinnamon bites.
22:49 Speaker 04 Taylor Hansen? Nice.
22:51 Speaker 02 Try one.
22:53 Speaker 04 Mmm.
22:56 Speaker 05 King's Hawaiian cinnamon bites. There's nothing like it.
23:06 Speaker 00 Anyway, if you are having a baby shower, have a lovely time and I'm sorry if I've
23:09 Speaker 01 Brilliant. Um, listen, I'd like to just crack on as fast as we can and wrap this up as soon as possible because I'm going on a golf trip and I'm very, very excited to be going on my golf trip.
23:19 Speaker 00 Yes.
23:19 Speaker 01 Um, I haven't told you a thing that the hotel's got, and I didn't book the hotel that I'm going to for this, but it's got this and I didn't know this was a thing and I'm very intrigued. All my hotels have got prostitutes, all of them. And if they haven't, they have when I get there. Am I right, guys? Anyway, um.
23:37 Speaker 00 Oof, that whole thing was horrible.
23:39 Speaker 01 Shouldn't it take us up for it?
23:40 Speaker 00 Right.
23:41 Speaker 01 BS bar.
23:43 Speaker 00 What?
23:45 Speaker 01 This hotel.
23:46 Speaker 00 In the testosterone filled.
23:49 Speaker 00 Grossness. What, what do you mean a beer spa?
23:52 Speaker 01 This hotel has a beer spa.
23:54 Speaker 00 Right, explain. I've got, right.
23:55 Speaker 01 So, I didn't know what it was until Carl Hutchinson, who's coming with us on this golf trip, even though he doesn't play golf.
24:04 Speaker 01 It is for me forty, so that's why he's coming, even though me forty isn't for a couple of months. But, you know, it's just a time away with the lads. A beer spa is a unique wellness experience where you soak in a tub filled with water infused with beer making ingredients.
24:17 Speaker 00 Nah.
24:18 Speaker 01 Like hops, malt and brewers yeast.
24:20 Speaker 00 Ew.
24:21 Speaker 01 While popular in Europe, especially the Czech Republic, they are increasingly opening up in other regions.
24:25 Speaker 00 It'll stink.
24:26 Speaker 01 The soak. You relax in a bubbling wooden or iron tub. The ingredients are rich in B vitamins and antioxidants which believe to hydrate the skin, soothe irritation, be good for me heat rash.
24:36 Speaker 00 There's no way you're getting in this.
24:37 Speaker 01 Promote relaxation. Unlimited beer. Most bars offer unlimited beer on tap right next to your bathtub for you to enjoy.
24:46 Speaker 00 No, this is horrible.
24:47 Speaker 01 I'm telling you, this is real. Look at, look at these dudes. Look at these dudes enjoying it. Look at these dudes just.
24:53 Speaker 00 Is it women? Because I'd get thrush from this. Is that women in there?
24:57 Speaker 01 There's women in there, yeah.
24:58 Speaker 00 No.
25:00 Speaker 01 My question.
25:01 Speaker 00 I would get in a wine.
25:02 Speaker 01 A wine one. My question, do they change the beer?
25:06 Speaker 00 No.
25:07 Speaker 01 Because you can, so I don't have to change the water in me cold tub or me hot tub because as the guy from the hot tub place said, our hot tub is the, and this is a direct quote, the best kept residential hot tub he's ever seen.
25:19 Speaker 00 Yeah.
25:20 Speaker 01 That's me. I should work at Centre Park. I'm very proud of that.
25:22 Speaker 00 And also.
25:22 Speaker 01 There's people I've called that to.
25:23 Speaker 00 Well, you do keep it nipping clean.
25:26 Speaker 01 It's great.
25:26 Speaker 00 But also it's just us.
25:27 Speaker 01 Yes, but pH levels, chlorine, sorted. Don't have to change the water that often.
25:32 Speaker 00 Although when Robin and his mate have been in it.
25:35 Speaker 01 Ah, yeah, it's like a fucking, it's like a hot cabbage soup after them. I do, I don't, I change, how can, you can't add a load of chlorine and stuff to fucking beer.
25:43 Speaker 00 Yeah, it'd be disgusting.
25:44 Speaker 01 It's not beer anymore.
25:45 Speaker 00 I can't believe you're thinking that this is a good thing to do.
25:47 Speaker 01 I'm going after one of the days of golf. I'm going, I booked in for the beer spa.
25:50 Speaker 00 Do you know what it reminds me of? Do you remember when, and I, I cannot forget this, it sticks in me, I think of it quite often, right? Do you remember when you told me on your stag do? That you were all in the pool and you didn't-
26:03 Speaker 01 Wasn't my stag do-
26:04 Speaker 00 Well, whose stag do was it?
26:05 Speaker 01 It was another, it was a mate of mine's stag do where everyone stood and-
26:08 Speaker 00 You told me you didn't see any of your mates go to the toilet once-
26:10 Speaker 01 No, I went to the toilet. It was a good three hours, three or four hours, no one, everyone was just drinking pints. And the whole corner, the whole corner of the pool where we were, I'm not joking, it smelled like a toilet. It smelled like a public toilet. It, it smelled like urinal. It was, it was the worst. It was the absolute worst. And I remember thinking, this is just 16 lads, pint after pint after pint for three hours, just pissing in a pool. This is horrible. And yeah-
26:37 Speaker 00 Was there families on this holiday?
26:39 Speaker 01 Not in that bit of the pool.
26:41 Speaker 00 God, that is, that's, I think about that. I think about it nearly every time I see a swimming pool. It's really sad. It's really upsetting. And it just gets, that gives us these vibes as well.
26:53 Speaker 01 Very much excited for my BS bar. Very much excited.
26:56 Speaker 00 Okay. Well, let us know what it's like.
26:58 Speaker 01 So, on the subject of this, because I'm going away, and so I went, I was with my mates at the weekend and we watched, have you heard of BKFC?
27:10 Speaker 00 No.
27:11 Speaker 01 Bear Knuckle Fighting Championship.
27:12 Speaker 00 Oh, okay. I've heard, I mean, I-
27:14 Speaker 01 Yeah. So I think Conor McGregor owns part of the company and the guy, one of the guys from Geordie Shore, that Aaron Chalmers, who's now a fighter, fought at the weekend. And me and my mates were watching it and there was an advert on during, and because it's our 40th coming up, I've sorted this out for me and you.
27:31 Speaker 01 BKFC.
27:35 Speaker 00 Like S E A?
27:37 Speaker 01 Yeah.
27:38 Speaker 00 What? Bear Knuckle Fighting C?
27:41 Speaker 01 Bear Knuckle Fighting.
27:43 Speaker 00 And the C?
27:43 Speaker 01 Cruise.
27:46 Speaker 01 There was an advert and I thought she's gonna love that. So me and you, we go on the cruise, right? Four days, they go out to sea. It's, it's all the fans, all the fighters and we go on a cruise and at, at sea, they have a burnt up a boxing fight at sea.
28:02 Speaker 00 Oh my god.
28:03 Speaker 01 And I've sorted it for your 40.
28:04 Speaker 00 Oh my god, that is, ew, oh god. Oh, who's going on that?
28:11 Speaker 01 Is it like, can I just say, first of all, I didn't know it was a thing. Um, in, in my opinion, they've came up with the title first.
28:20 Speaker 00 It's just, they're do, they're doing a lot of like things on a cruise now.
28:25 Speaker 01 BKFC.
28:26 Speaker 00 That's disgusting.
28:27 Speaker 01 You would, you would, I can't think of anything you would hate more. Like.
28:32 Speaker 00 Just horrible. Do you know, here's something. Do you know there's a celiac cruise?
28:38 Speaker 01 Wow.
28:39 Speaker 00 Where it's a cruise for people who've got celiac disease. Disease. Is it a disease? Is that what you call it?
28:45 Speaker 01 It's like, it's a gluten intolerance, isn't it?
28:47 Speaker 00 Gluten intolerance, it's a severe, you know.
28:49 Speaker 01 It's a really bad one, yeah.
28:50 Speaker 00 Yeah, because like, imagine if you had a child who had, who was celiac.
28:53 Speaker 01 Yeah.
28:53 Speaker 00 And it, you must constantly, it's like an allergy, like you must constantly be worried. Like if my Ben had nut allergy, like, oh.
29:00 Speaker 01 Cause it's in everything, yeah. Oh, the nut one must be, yeah.
29:01 Speaker 00 It must be really hard. So yeah, there's a cruise that you can go on where all of the food, no matter where you are on the cruise, is gluten free. So it just takes away that worry. Isn't that good?
29:14 Speaker 01 Surely that's not what the entire cruise is based on?
29:17 Speaker 00 No, obviously there'll be entertainment and it'll be like a holiday, but it's just that all of the food is prepared.
29:22 Speaker 01 So, so what you're saying is there is cruises that are gluten free is what you're saying?
29:26 Speaker 00 It's a full cruise.
29:27 Speaker 01 Right. So the cruise, the cruise is gluten free. It's not a celiac cruise. Is it, is it called celiac?
29:35 Speaker 00 Well, if it's not, they are missing a trick if it's not called that. They should call it that.
29:40 Speaker 01 Not making light of celiac there. Don't anyone get upset. Um, yeah. So BKFC, not up for it?
29:45 Speaker 00 Uh, no, I'm not up for that at all.
29:49 Speaker 01 So I've been saving this to tell you. So the wonderful Daisy, who produces and edits this podcast, I icked her out hugely the other day and I've been saving it up to tell you. So we went, there was a party with our management ages ago and we met, we met her fella, who's lovely player, and he plays golf. Me and him got talking about golf and he said at some point he was going to come up to the north east with his mate and we're going to play a few golf courses. And I said, oh, let us know and I'll come. And Daisy was like, look, you don't have to. And I was like, Daisy, what you don't understand is to golf.
30:23 Speaker 00 You play with strangers.
30:25 Speaker 01 Yeah, you literally just need a very slight connection to go on a golf trip with someone. Like, it's ridiculous. And the other day, she just texted us. Same as baby showers. Same as baby showers. And the other day, she just texted us and she was like, we're talking about work. And then she was like, oh, he's, he's playing golf. My fella's playing golf on these days, by the way, in the north east at these courses. And I went, all right, okay. And I put them in my diary. I went, that's in my diary. And she went, okay, nice one. And then I sat and thought for a bit. And then I text her back and I went, Daisy, I went, do you know you've just arranged a play date for me and your fella? And she texts me like a massive couple of letters.
30:59 Speaker 00 That is so true.
31:02 Speaker 01 Literally, Daisy arranged a play date for me and our fella and we're going to go out and we're going to go and we're going to go and play.
31:10 Speaker 00 Oh, that's catty. Oh, no, he was lovely. Oh, funny.
31:16 Speaker 01 So listen, before we get to our beefs, I've got beef with something in the world at the moment.
31:20 Speaker 00 Okay. We've been very judgmental this whole podcast.
31:22 Speaker 01 I'm not, I'm not stopping. I'm putting the foot down. I'm going to 60. Yeah, I'm going for it. The icons on the weather app on the iPhone, I don't know if it's the same on Android, it's starting to really fuck me off.
31:33 Speaker 00 What do you mean?
31:34 Speaker 01 So I looked, I'm going to Spain to play golf with the lads, right? Again, hurry this up. And it looked, I looked on the, on the weather. I've had a horrible week because I looked on the weather on the thing and I've got, if I'm going anywhere, I don't know if anyone else does this, but if I'm going, yeah, yeah, you have it saved.
31:48 Speaker 00 A good month before you go.
31:50 Speaker 01 I'm going to Malta next year. I'll just check the weather every fucking week until I get there.
31:55 Speaker 00 I think everyone does.
31:57 Speaker 01 So it's like, I've literally go swipping all the way through and I get to the end where it is. And it said, so I'm going, I'm there Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, right? So it said, Monday, blistering, blistering heat, massive sun icon. Tuesday, massive sun icon. Wednesday, massive sun icon. Thursday, thunder and lightning. Friday, thunder and lightning. Saturday, thunder and lightning. Sunday, thunder and lightning.
32:17 Speaker 00 Three till four in the morning.
32:19 Speaker 01 Yes. Why?
32:21 Speaker 00 I know.
32:21 Speaker 01 Why do the icons, it puts the shits up you?
32:24 Speaker 00 I know. Can they not just do a couple?
32:26 Speaker 01 It's like the ultimate pessimist. I looked at it, I saw it and I went, I was with the lads and I went, you fucking seen this? I went, it's thunder and lightning while we're there. Jordan, my mate, he went, go on the, he went click on it and go on the precipit- precipit- precipit- precipitation?
32:41 Speaker 00 Participations?
32:43 Speaker 01 Go on the participation. I'm gonna say, I genuinely don't know how to say it.
32:46 Speaker 00 Yeah.
32:46 Speaker 01 He goes, go on that. Midnight at one.
32:49 Speaker 00 Yeah.
32:50 Speaker 01 Midnight at one on Saturday. Therefore, the entire icon is a fucking thunder and lightning with a big fucking lightning bolt coming out of it.
32:58 Speaker 00 Chris, they like to fuck with the, they just like to fuck with the.
33:01 Speaker 01 Every day. And I'm talking one of them. It's literally, and it's under the, it's under the minimum. It's a tiny, it's literally just gonna go like, pah.
33:08 Speaker 00 Yeah.
33:10 Speaker 00 Um, do you wanna get serious?
33:12 Speaker 01 Never.
33:13 Speaker 00 Okay.
33:15 Speaker 00 It's got nothing to do with what you're talking about?
33:16 Speaker 01 Course it doesn't.
33:17 Speaker 00 I seen something yesterday.
33:18 Speaker 01 Hmm.
33:19 Speaker 00 On Instagram. Do you know Erin Brockovich? She's got, she's getting involved with stuff.
33:24 Speaker 01 Sorry, I thought Erin Brock, is that not a film?
33:27 Speaker 00 Yeah, but it was based on a real person.
33:28 Speaker 01 Erin Brockovich is a real person?
33:30 Speaker 00 Yeah.
33:30 Speaker 01 She's still alive?
33:31 Speaker 00 Yeah.
33:31 Speaker 01 What is she?
33:32 Speaker 00 She.
33:33 Speaker 01 I've never seen the film.
33:36 Speaker 00 She lived in a town where they were fucking with the water supply and everyone was getting ill. And she was like, what the fuck's going on?
33:43 Speaker 01 Right.
33:43 Speaker 00 And she was like a single mom, didn't have much say in the town or whatever, but she was like, no, not having this. Like,
33:50 Speaker 01 Right.
33:50 Speaker 00 Mint. Basically.
33:52 Speaker 01 Is that, is that the exact quote from the back of the DVD?
33:55 Speaker 00 Yeah, that's exactly what it is.
33:56 Speaker 01 Single ma, lives in the town, no, I'm not having this.
33:58 Speaker 00 I'm not having this.
33:59 Speaker 01 This summer.
34:00 Speaker 00 Yeah. Strap me boots on. She's getting involved now with like, do you know like AI and ChatGPT and all this shit?
34:06 Speaker 01 Yeah.
34:06 Speaker 00 It's literally using so much water.
34:09 Speaker 01 Yeah, to cool it down. Yeah. They're talking about putting it in space.
34:13 Speaker 00 Well, apparently what she's noticed is she looked on all of like the tracking, they're putting it in already water deprived area so that it'll not flag as much.
34:27 Speaker 00 And it's just like, what, what, what's, why, why are they doing this?
34:30 Speaker 01 Uh, money. They do it for the money, because they're really rich.
34:32 Speaker 00 But now I'm just worried because they've all got bunkers.
34:36 Speaker 01 Hmm.
34:36 Speaker 00 And they don't give a shit.
34:37 Speaker 01 Yeah.
34:39 Speaker 00 Like, what, what?
34:41 Speaker 01 Yeah, the fa- the fact that they've all built bunkers and no one's really said anything is nuts.
34:44 Speaker 00 I'm just gutted. I'm just like, why, why we're not gonna do anything? I'm not gonna use it anymore. I've got, I've got rid of it.
34:49 Speaker 01 Yeah?
34:49 Speaker 00 Yeah, because-
34:49 Speaker 01 I never used it. You paid for it, I never did.
34:51 Speaker 00 Well, I know, but I, because I didn't, you don't know any of this.
34:55 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm. Yeah, no, so it's using like, an unholy amount of water to cool it down.
34:59 Speaker 00 Ridiculous, to cool it down. And it's like, well, so what now? We're just gonna, the whole world's just gonna end up being in a drought. And like, we need water.
35:07 Speaker 01 Yeah.
35:09 Speaker 01 It's ma- yeah. But the, yeah. But then what happens here? Am I stupid? What happens to the water? Does it evaporate and then come back? Or does it just?
35:15 Speaker 00 Not at the rate that it, that they're using it.
35:17 Speaker 01 Really?
35:18 Speaker 00 No. But anyway, so good luck, Erin. Please, please get, sort this shit out, and then they'll make a film about it.
35:24 Speaker 01 And good luck, whatever you're-
35:25 Speaker 00 Billionaires, fuck off.
35:28 Speaker 01 Yeah.
35:28 Speaker 00 Just fuck off.
35:30 Speaker 01 Yeah.
35:30 Speaker 00 Yeah.
35:31 Speaker 01 Ruining the world and building a bunker. It's a bit shitty, like, and everyone's gone, oh, have you just done that? And that's questionable, and that's ruining something, and that's using loads of resources. Oh, you've built a bunker?
35:39 Speaker 00 Yeah, that.
35:39 Speaker 01 Why have you built a bunker?
35:40 Speaker 00 For your ho- for you and your whole family.
35:42 Speaker 01 It's mad.
35:43 Speaker 00 I, I just don't know why, wha- anyway, I can't think about it too much because it just really-
35:49 Speaker 01 I tried, so I don't think, that's why I've got nothing to say about it.
35:49 Speaker 00 I know, but then at the same time, if you don't do anything, it's just like, well-
35:53 Speaker 01 No one does anything. Everyone just winds each other up about it, and nothing ever happens, because nothing does happen because they're too rich and powerful. There's nothing you can do.
35:58 Speaker 00 I know. I just don't think it should be allowed. I just don't, where, like-
36:01 Speaker 01 Who's gonna stop them?
36:02 Speaker 00 But, well, surely that's what the government's for?
36:04 Speaker 01 Nah, they pay the, they pay the government-
36:05 Speaker 00 I know, they pay the government off. Well, why do you think, I hate them all?
36:08 Speaker 01 Yeah.
36:08 Speaker 00 Why do you think, why do you think I don't trust, I just don't trust anybody? And yeah, you're right, they just all want loads of money, but then, but then what they're gonna do when the world's fucked and they're living in their bunkers?
36:18 Speaker 01 Living in the bunkers, and, living in the bunkers, and they're robots, and they'll be, they'll be living in the bunkers, and they'll be fucking their robots, and they'll somehow get their head, like, like Fallout, they'll have their brains and jaws and they'll live forever.
36:26 Speaker 00 Yeah, I think it's because we're watching Fallout at the minute as well.
36:29 Speaker 01 Oh, you're not fun to watch Fallout with, by the way. Every five minutes, man, she goes, this could definitely happen, this, we're not far from this happening. And I'm like, oh, fuck me, can we just finish it and go to bed?
36:37 Speaker 00 Babadu, babadu, babadu, ba. Ugh, I hate Mondays.
36:41 Speaker 02 King's wine cinnamon swirl bite?
36:42 Speaker 03 Uh, Taylor Hanson? Sure, I'll try one.
36:45 Speaker 00 Mmm.
36:48 Speaker 04 Hey, let's get back to work, please.
36:50 Speaker 03 But Taylor Hanson's making my day way better with these new soft and swirly King's Hawaiian cinnamon bites.
36:54 Speaker 04 Taylor Hanson? Nice.
36:56 Speaker 02 Try one.
36:57 Speaker 04 Mmm.
37:01 Speaker 05 King's Hawaiian cinnamon bites. There's nothing like it.
37:11 Speaker 01 It's time for What's Your Beef?
37:13 Speaker 00 What's your beef?
37:14 Speaker 01 Beef, beef, beef, beef, beef. Right, we've dealt with the world.
37:18 Speaker 00 I'm gonna keep it light.
37:18 Speaker 01 We've had a go at all this stuff. Let's keep it light. Let's have a go at each other. That's why people are here. What is your beef with me? And I can't believe you've got one because you've been away working and I've been holding down the fort and I am a bloody delight these days. But try your best, do your worst.
37:30 Speaker 00 It's from the holiday.
37:31 Speaker 01 Ah.
37:34 Speaker 00 You've got a new little saying on the holiday, which you've never had before.
37:38 Speaker 01 Oh.
37:38 Speaker 00 But you ask me possibly about five times a day, is there an animal on us?
37:47 Speaker 01 There's a lot of animals on me on the holiday.
37:48 Speaker 00 Is there an animal on me?
37:50 Speaker 01 I am.
37:50 Speaker 00 What are you talking about?
37:51 Speaker 01 From what I can gather, I am a nurturing and safe ecosystem for animals, mainly insects, to live. And every five minutes, there's something landed on us.
38:01 Speaker 00 Um, but...
38:02 Speaker 01 Something landed on us and I wanted to know where it was and what it was.
38:04 Speaker 00 You do know by the end I didn't even look. I just went, no. Didn't look. It's the same as when you ask someone something on his nose. I'm like, um...
38:11 Speaker 01 That was annoying, by the way. In the queue to get into Spain, in a Mallorca, which was fucking two and a half hours long.
38:16 Speaker 00 But can I tell you right now? Use your phone and look on the mirror.
38:19 Speaker 01 People glance over and they'll go, look at him, look at his front camera to look at his fucking beak.
38:24 Speaker 00 Well, what's worse, going to me than on your nose?
38:27 Speaker 01 Because I go, is there any on your nose?
38:28 Speaker 00 It's disgusting.
38:29 Speaker 01 And I can pretend I'm looking. Listen to us. I can pretend I'm like, listen.
38:32 Speaker 00 You don't, you make it dead obvious and you're like...
38:34 Speaker 01 No, I can pretend I'm looking at the ceiling and go, oh, there's a fire, there's a fire extinguisher, there's a hose up there, a sprayer. And you can look at me nose for a second.
38:42 Speaker 00 We've got to have sex. This is what bugs us, man. You know when people are like, oh, people who are married, the sex life goes to shit. It's like, yeah, because you have to spend every fucking minute with this person and they ask you shit like that.
38:54 Speaker 01 So should I also not ask?
38:56 Speaker 00 It's the sexiest thing ever.
38:58 Speaker 01 Should I also not ask if I've got a dirty bum in public as well?
39:02 Speaker 01 Is there a skid mark in these underpants?
39:04 Speaker 00 It's just to ruin stuff. I want to ask you if there's anything up me nose.
39:09 Speaker 01 Yeah, well, they've always fucking is.
39:11 Speaker 00 Well, good.
39:11 Speaker 01 My beef with you, right, apart from the fact that you've always got blimmin' all kinds of fucking detritus hanging out your nostrils.
39:17 Speaker 00 Detritus, nice.
39:18 Speaker 01 Yeah. Um, my beef with you, you got some kind of moral high ground on holiday.
39:25 Speaker 00 No, I'm sorry, that does not sound like me.
39:27 Speaker 01 You got some kind of horrible moral high ground on holiday in which you refused to let us go and put the towels on the sunbeds before going to breakfast. Literally everyone else in the whole fucking place, the entire pool was empty, but there was towels on all the beds. And you, for some reason, were like, no, we can't do that. It's not right. So we had to come back from breakfast. I was, I didn't enjoy a single breakfast because I had to come back worried that I wouldn't have a sunbed and everyone else had them. Some of them, they weren't fucking there the whole day.
39:58 Speaker 00 All right. Not everyone else is on the telly.
40:00 Speaker 01 I'm not bothered. I don't care.
40:01 Speaker 00 Well, I am.
40:02 Speaker 01 I don't care.
40:03 Speaker 00 Okay. Well, this is where, well, this is where.
40:05 Speaker 01 Worst thing's happened around that pool, man. Some woman nearly killed a kid.
40:07 Speaker 00 Yeah, and everyone hated her for the full time. This is where we differ as people.
40:11 Speaker 01 Hmm.
40:12 Speaker 00 You couldn't give a shit. Like, you are a lot less of an asshole than you used to be when I met you.
40:17 Speaker 01 Thank you.
40:17 Speaker 00 But sometimes it comes through and this is the kind of occasion.
40:20 Speaker 01 Thank you for noticing.
40:21 Speaker 00 This is on that occasion. Like.
40:23 Speaker 01 Right.
40:23 Speaker 00 We are held to a higher, what's the word? Like people.
40:28 Speaker 01 Like standard if people say.
40:29 Speaker 00 Well, I don't know. I just think, like, if you're around the pool, you're not recognisable. Nobody knows who you are on holiday.
40:35 Speaker 01 So if you're, so right, if I'm around the pool and no one recognises who I am, then I can just go.
40:38 Speaker 00 You can just do whatever the fuck you want. Nobody's gonna, they'll just go, ugh.
40:42 Speaker 01 I think the sun have got more things to worry about than.
40:44 Speaker 00 No, it's not even about that. It's just the fact that people will be like, oh, Chris and Rosie Ramsey. They bloody got their sunbeds wet, didn't they? And I just.
40:54 Speaker 01 Yeah, but they wouldn't have seen it because they'd be fucking off.
40:56 Speaker 00 All right. Well, God forbid that I actually just care about what people think of. We're like, I can't bear people who, who think you their sunbeds really early in the morning. I can't stand them.
41:05 Speaker 01 Right. Right, okay. Well, I'll tell you what, we'll come back next time, right, and you can lay your sunbed out on your lovely bit of pride that you've got left and you can sunbathe on that and I'll be on the bed that I've kept.
41:14 Speaker 00 Well, listen, this is what we do a lot. I don't know if any of the married couples do this, but we now sometimes live a very separate life because we, I will go, well, you go and do that and I'll go and do my thing.
41:25 Speaker 01 Right, there we go.
41:25 Speaker 00 So there you go there. You go and get your sunbed.
41:27 Speaker 01 Will you take the kids with you?
41:29 Speaker 00 No. No, but yeah, it is, it's something that, um, I don't think many people will understand unless you are, have a presence in the public eye. You've got to be, you've got to be fucking careful what you do.
41:41 Speaker 01 Yeah, I suppose.
41:41 Speaker 00 We can't just do, we can't do sneaky shit anymore.
41:44 Speaker 01 It's not that.
41:45 Speaker 00 No, it is. It's, no, I know, but we, I don't think we can do that anymore.
41:49 Speaker 01 Ah, well, I did it every day and I'm going to continue to do it.
41:52 Speaker 00 Okay, well, it would wind you up if it did get in the papers. Chris and Rosie Ramsey, uh, think they're better than everybody else.
42:02 Speaker 01 Right.
42:02 Speaker 00 And get their sunbeds before everyone else. Why should you?
42:05 Speaker 01 Slow fucking news day, slow news day.
42:08 Speaker 00 The, yeah, that's the world that we live in.
42:10 Speaker 01 What I'll do then, I'll donate a hundred empty sunbeds to people who need sunbeds.
42:16 Speaker 00 Okay.
42:16 Speaker 01 Because that's how you get out of stuff, innit?
42:17 Speaker 00 You're going to do that. But I'm, all I'm saying is, that's just something I can't be asked to live with because, do you remember when Rafe was born and the hospital advised us to get the thing on his ear?
42:28 Speaker 01 I do remember this.
42:28 Speaker 00 Do you remember?
42:29 Speaker 01 Yeah.
42:29 Speaker 00 The hospital sent somebody round and said, he's got, he's got porky out ears. If you don't want him to have to get them pinned back in the future.
42:38 Speaker 01 Yeah.
42:38 Speaker 00 Why don't you right now, apply a bit of masking tape on his ears?
42:42 Speaker 01 It wasn't that they were porky out, it was that the curly round bit at the top of your ear, it was all flat. So they just put a tiny little bit of straw in and they folded it round.
42:50 Speaker 00 And the masking tape.
42:51 Speaker 01 Yeah.
42:51 Speaker 00 We got, I got trolled from Germany.
42:53 Speaker 01 I got trolled from.
42:54 Speaker 00 Because people thought, they, they put it in the papers that would, had surgery on his ears when he was born.
42:58 Speaker 01 That was horrible.
42:59 Speaker 00 And I just.
43:00 Speaker 01 That was horrible.
43:01 Speaker 00 I just can't be bothered with it. So, yeah, so honestly now I sort of like, I don't really break any rules and I just, yeah.
43:08 Speaker 01 Fair enough.
43:09 Speaker 00 I like, can you be arsed?
43:11 Speaker 01 No, I can't be arsed. Good point.
43:12 Speaker 00 Uh huh.
43:13 Speaker 01 Well done. Bringing that up. Christ. Again, you took it all serious and I was just talking about sunbeds.
43:17 Speaker 00 I'm actually quite a serious person.
43:19 Speaker 01 Oh.
43:21 Speaker 01 It's time for questions from the public.
43:25 Speaker 00 You guys.
43:26 Speaker 01 That's you, that's you, that's you, you, you, you, you. As always, if you'd like to get in touch, it is shagged married annoyed at gmail dot com to send in your emails. And if you'd like to send a voice note to the WhatsApp, it's zero seven eight seven four four zero six six five zero. That's zero seven eight seven four four zero six six five zero. Always feel like a radio DJ when I do that and I do enjoy it.
43:47 Speaker 00 You sound like one. You love putting on the little voice for them.
43:50 Speaker 01 I do.
43:50 Speaker 00 It's nice.
43:50 Speaker 01 Little phone voice, phone number voice.
43:52 Speaker 00 It's cute. Right, you ready?
43:53 Speaker 01 Yes.
43:53 Speaker 00 A bit voice naughty, have I?
43:55 Speaker 06 Just driving to pick my daughter up from work and I'm listening to you speaking to Reece. You said about rubbing meat on a wart to get rid of it.
44:07 Speaker 01 Yes.
44:08 Speaker 06 Which reminded me of a story. I, my mother, and this worked every single time. I had a wart when I was a kid and my mother bought it off me. Bought it off me. She gave me like 25 pence and said, I'll buy it off you. And she got a wart on her hand and mine disappeared. And then a few years later, I got a wart, like, because I had one, a horrible one, on my middle finger, right on the knuckle. It was disgusting. Looked like knuckles off Sonic and Knuckles. And then I got another one on my thumb years later. She says, come
44:53 Speaker 06 and when I bought the wart off you. I says, will you buy me wart again? She says, yeah, no bother. She bought the wart off us. Fucking, it worked again.
45:01 Speaker 01 Nah.
45:02 Speaker 06 Now, bullshit, yeah, because I don't believe in fucking, you know, my grandfather isn't a feather, but.
45:12 Speaker 06 I don't understand. I don't understand because it happened twice. I've got it in me head that it might have happened three times, but I might just be bullshitting there. Would I?
45:19 Speaker 01 I'm not having it.
45:20 Speaker 06 Brian Watt, mad?
45:21 Speaker 01 I'm not having it.
45:22 Speaker 00 Right.
45:22 Speaker 01 I'm absolutely not having it.
45:23 Speaker 00 This could not have come at a better time.
45:25 Speaker 01 I, I, right, can I just say now, I'm gonna start your voice now, I refuse to buy a verruca.
45:30 Speaker 00 I've got verruca. Oh, no, but it could also be a wart because, right, before, before I knew fully about the water situation, I did ask ChatGPT. And I think it said it was a wart, but it said just buy like verruca stuff. But look, will you?
45:45 Speaker 01 I don't, I'm not buying that. No chance. No chance. Can anyone say that? It's awful. I'm not. Check your skirt. You're lifting your foot in the middle of the thing. So I'm not.
45:53 Speaker 00 Oh, go on though, because.
45:55 Speaker 01 I'm not buying a fucking verruca.
45:56 Speaker 00 I know, but let's just do it as a test.
45:58 Speaker 01 No.
45:59 Speaker 00 No, but if you don't believe it, then what? Does it matter? You got any cash on you? You got any money on you? How weird. Let's do it as a, let's do it. Imagine if it happens.
46:09 Speaker 01 It'll not happen.
46:10 Speaker 00 Imagine.
46:10 Speaker 01 No, but I'm scared. I'm actually scared.
46:12 Speaker 00 How are we? Let's do it. Right. Is there any money anywhere? Check in them cups?
46:16 Speaker 01 I've got nothing on us.
46:17 Speaker 00 Oh my god.
46:18 Speaker 01 I've got nothing.
46:19 Speaker 00 Right, well, we'll do it.
46:20 Speaker 01 Should I quickly, should I quickly transfer some money to you?
46:22 Speaker 00 Yes.
46:23 Speaker 01 Right. Hold on.
46:25 Speaker 00 10 grand.
46:31 Speaker 01 Bargain.
46:36 Speaker 00 Go on. No, just send us, send us a tenner.
46:39 Speaker 01 Fuck off. You can have 25 pence? That's the gold rate.
46:42 Speaker 00 You can't send 25 pence, can you?
46:45 Speaker 01 Watch me send you 25 pence.
46:47 Speaker 00 Right, let's see. If you get a verruca or a wart, shit, you'll die if you do. Like, well, you'll die if you do one because you can't bear having anything. But also, I tell you what as well, can we just talk? That's a mother's love, innit? That is a mother's love. The things we do for our children. I'll buy you a wart off your sunshine. Also, another observation. Um, I don't think there's many kids with warts now.
47:11 Speaker 01 I don't think there is either.
47:12 Speaker 00 What's that all about? Is that a nineties thing? Uh, loads of kids had warts when we were young, but I don't think see many of them now.
47:19 Speaker 01 There you go.
47:19 Speaker 00 I might be wrong, just how I was old.
47:21 Speaker 01 I've just sent you twenty five pence.
47:22 Speaker 00 Thank you.
47:22 Speaker 01 Do not spend it all at once.
47:24 Speaker 00 Pleasure, pleasure doing business with you. Look forward to you getting your wart. I will die if you do.
47:31 Speaker 01 How exciting.
47:32 Speaker 00 I'd be beautiful if you, imagine how exciting.
47:34 Speaker 01 I feel all warty.
47:37 Speaker 01 I don't know, I am going on a golf trip more. If I just randomly get a verruca from the pool, that'll obviously be full of piss by tomorrow afternoon.
47:44 Speaker 00 Your B I bath will get rid of that. Babadu babadu babadu ba. Hi Rosie and Chris, please keep me anonymous. Every time you share a poo story, I think I should share my experience from work and I decided today is the day.
47:58 Speaker 01 Get in.
47:59 Speaker 00 Love it. Okay, so picture this. Another Tuesday morning at the pharmacy, right?
48:04 Speaker 01 Oh, the pharmacy.
48:05 Speaker 00 The usual hustle, people lining up for the meds, heads, and me stuck behind the counter trying to keep it all smooth. This lady comes up, wants to grab prescriptions for her and her mum, standard stuff. As I'm rooting round for the script, she suddenly-
48:19 Speaker 01 Scripts, that's the proper crack, innit? Yeah, your script.
48:23 Speaker 00 Is that what it's called?
48:24 Speaker 01 Lingo, yeah, yeah, yeah.
48:25 Speaker 00 Ah, nice, okay. Um, she suddenly blurts out she needs the loot and will be right back. Now, our pharmacy doesn't have a public restroom and there isn't one super close by, so I'm thinking she'll be gone a bit. She comes back and I start handing out over the meds. She asks if I can just toss them in her bag. No biggie, right? Wrong.
48:45 Speaker 01 She just wants her hands off.
48:46 Speaker 00 She opens this massive bag and I swear time stops.
48:50 Speaker 01 No.
48:51 Speaker 00 There's this huge pile of human poo.
48:54 Speaker 01 No fucking way.
48:56 Speaker 00 Just sitting there. Staring back at me and she's holding it open like she's showing off her new accessories. She's just shitting her bag. Guys, did you, did you, she's just shit in her bag.
49:09 Speaker 01 And she's going, hide the meds in there on top of me shit, please.
49:12 Speaker 00 Put me fucking-
49:13 Speaker 01 No way.
49:15 Speaker 00 Um.
49:16 Speaker 01 Oh, that's so horrible.
49:17 Speaker 00 I'm not proud of what happened next. My brain just short circuited. I grabbed the meds and basically threw them into the bag right on top of the place. I just wanted the whole thing to be over.
49:29 Speaker 01 What's wrong with everyone, man?
49:31 Speaker 00 Looking back, I know it wasn't my finest moment, but hey, you try staying cool when someone shows you a bag full of crap.
49:37 Speaker 01 Oh god, that's awful. So, right, so she didn't want to grab them because she was aware that her hands were dirty, I'm assuming?
49:44 Speaker 00 No, I don't know, but well-
49:45 Speaker 01 Why she said, "Throw them in me bag"?
49:46 Speaker 00 Well, surely, if, if she'd had time to think, I think she probably would have went, "Do you want us to put them on top of the pile of shit? Or do you want to take them in your hands and put them in your pockets?" But she probably didn't and just went, "Oh, there you go."
50:00 Speaker 00 I know, I know.
50:03 Speaker 01 Where did she go to do it?
50:04 Speaker 00 I don't know.
50:06 Speaker 01 Where's she gone? Why in the bag? If she's obviously gone in it, well, she must have got in the car or something. She's gone in the back of the car. Because if you're going in the bush, you're just shitting in the bush.
50:15 Speaker 00 Maybe she's just having a really bad time. Who knows? Some people don't see shit as like an important thing, like, it's just whatever. But was it a handbag?
50:23 Speaker 01 Just hold it in.
50:24 Speaker 00 But she shit all over our stuff.
50:28 Speaker 00 God, love her.
50:32 Speaker 00 Hello. I've just been listening to your podcast about the A1 sex shop.
50:35 Speaker 01 Yes.
50:36 Speaker 00 Again. It's actually 10 minutes from my house.
50:39 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
50:40 Speaker 00 Hey, one day, me and my ex-girlfriend thought we'd take a curious visit, and it's not as bad as you think. In fact, we came out with a dildo.
50:47 Speaker 01 Well, there we go.
50:47 Speaker 00 So there you go. Chris was wrong in thinking it's full of international truckers. As a trucker myself, there's no truck parking. I believe the location is more for people not wanting to be seen going into a sex shop. There you go.
51:03 Speaker 01 I love this podcast so much and I love our listeners so much because the idea I've got, I don't really think it's full of trucks, but there's actually no truck parking.
51:10 Speaker 00 Because I have a trucker.
51:12 Speaker 01 What, I 100% stand corrected, I apologise. Fantastic.
51:16 Speaker 00 Yep.
51:17 Speaker 01 There's no truck parking.
51:18 Speaker 00 Yep. Not long after me and said girlfriend parted ways, I was left with this toy. I didn't know what to do with it, so as a joke, I put it on eBay.
51:27 Speaker 01 Right.
51:28 Speaker 00 For £100. As used collection only.
51:33 Speaker 01 Go on, shut up, man.
51:35 Speaker 00 Not thinking anybody would buy it.
51:37 Speaker 01 Oh, god.
51:37 Speaker 00 I was shocked when I got a buyer. I explained it was for collection only, and the buyer said, "That's fine", and we exchanged details.
51:44 Speaker 01 No.
51:46 Speaker 01 No.
51:46 Speaker 00 The buyer turned up on a Thursday afternoon in a Fiat Punto and it was a 50 year old man in jogging bottoms. He only had 80 pound and I said, no problem.
51:55 Speaker 01 Oh, he's done you there mate.
51:57 Speaker 00 I'll take it.
51:57 Speaker 01 He's done you big time there.
51:59 Speaker 00 I hope that used dildo made that man happy, but I had to wash my hands three times after our hands crossed.
52:07 Speaker 00 They live among us.
52:09 Speaker 01 He's done him there.
52:10 Speaker 00 What? Why?
52:11 Speaker 01 He's done him with the 80 quid.
52:13 Speaker 00 How? 80 quid for a used?
52:15 Speaker 01 Yeah, but oh yeah, I'll pick it up. He didn't say anything. Then gets there. Oh, by the way, I've only got 80. Did you not know before you came that you only had 80?
52:21 Speaker 00 Well, I don't think we can.
52:22 Speaker 01 20 quid anal bean on the way here.
52:24 Speaker 00 Well, I'm sorry. I really don't think we can give this person much credit. He's buying used dildos.
52:29 Speaker 01 Yeah, and he's a, he's a bloody swindler is what he is.
52:31 Speaker 00 He's a wrong 'un, innit?
52:32 Speaker 01 Yeah.
52:33 Speaker 00 80 quid?
52:34 Speaker 01 Fiat Punto.
52:35 Speaker 00 Used stuff does sell more.
52:37 Speaker 01 Yeah?
52:38 Speaker 00 Yeah.
52:38 Speaker 01 Well, he's obviously, that's part of it.
52:40 Speaker 00 Because he'd be sniffing it fucking on his way home, man. God, the violent there. Spirit of the Punto.
52:46 Speaker 01 I'm glad the Punto's not a thing anymore because there'd be, yeah. Or is it? Can you still get a Punto? Hey, guys.
52:52 Speaker 00 My grand, I used to have a Punto.
52:53 Speaker 01 If you want a Punto, want to sponsor the podcast, happy days.
52:56 Speaker 00 I don't, I haven't seen a Punto for a long time.
52:59 Speaker 01 No, I used to love them. I want one.
53:01 Speaker 00 My grand had an orange one. It was lush.
53:02 Speaker 01 Get it?
53:03 Speaker 00 Mm-hmm. Like, oh.
53:05 Speaker 01 No.
53:06 Speaker 00 Different one.
53:07 Speaker 01 Renault Clio.
53:10 Speaker 00 Why do they both do like?
53:12 Speaker 01 Both French companies.
53:13 Speaker 00 French, right.
53:18 Speaker 01 What, mate? One of us, just one of us can be French, right? Because I can't keep track.
53:24 Speaker 00 Babadu, babadu, babadu, bah. Hi both.
53:27 Speaker 01 Hi.
53:28 Speaker 00 Husband and I just noticed a neighbour had put a full set of golf clubs in a golf bla, in a golf bag, sorry, outside the house. We were keeping an eye on it, assuming it was left by mistake, as it was a good looking set, I'm told by my husband. Like, if something like that happens, you do keep an eye on it, don't you?
53:44 Speaker 01 Oh, someone in your street puts golf clubs outside on the step.
53:47 Speaker 00 What's going on with them?
53:48 Speaker 01 Oh, that's, that is a curtain twitching moment, if ever I've seen one.
53:52 Speaker 00 I love shit like that.
53:52 Speaker 01 Yeah, you're standing there for ages, that's the whole thing. Brian, they're still there? They're still there, the clubs are still there, what's he doing?
53:58 Speaker 00 We're simple, we're just simple creatures.
54:00 Speaker 01 Shall we go and knock on them and tell them he's left them on the, it's starting to spit? It's spitting, they're gonna get wet?
54:05 Speaker 00 Anyway, it was set out for someone to take it for free, obviously.
54:08 Speaker 01 Oh shit.
54:09 Speaker 00 Which is nice, isn't it? Another neighbour came along to have a look at it and tried out every single golf club in the set with a fake swing. And it made me want to crawl into my vagina. Alas, he took the set and I now know which neighbour not to have an affair with if I ever fancy one.
54:31 Speaker 01 Oh, it's cold.
54:33 Speaker 00 No, that's horrific.
54:35 Speaker 01 So he's put them out for someone to have, he's come along, he's tried every one and he's took them.
54:39 Speaker 00 Fantastic. Do that in your own, take them for free and do that in your own time, surely.
54:44 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's the thing, yeah. Imagine he left a couple of them. No, your sand wedge is a bit long for me, I'll just leave the sand wedge.
54:49 Speaker 00 What are you testing, what are you testing for?
54:51 Speaker 01 Uh, nothing. There's nothing you could possibly be testing for, I'm gonna be honest with you.
54:55 Speaker 00 Yeah, that's, yeah, okay.
54:56 Speaker 01 In my opinion. If, like, there's nothing that, maybe length, but you only have to really do it with one, maybe, maybe to see if, because, so they all go down in size, so the more, you know, the, the, the, the steeper the angle of loft on the club, the shorter. So he's probably just checking that they're all.
55:12 Speaker 00 Right, okay.
55:13 Speaker 01 Yeah, if they're free.
55:13 Speaker 00 It's just embarrassing, isn't it?
55:14 Speaker 01 If you're free, just don't do them on the front street. If they're free, take them and if they're not, you give them to someone else. But people are particular, people are weird, really weird. Even with free stuff, people are dicks.
55:23 Speaker 00 Oh, we know this.
55:25 Speaker 01 Well, look at vintage, yeah.
55:26 Speaker 00 Oh, vintage.
55:27 Speaker 01 Yeah. I bought this for twenty five pence off you. I got a free wart and.
55:33 Speaker 00 Did I tell you about the dress?
55:34 Speaker 01 There's a thread hanging off it.
55:35 Speaker 00 Did I tell you about the dress I sold?
55:37 Speaker 01 No, no. I think you did, didn't you?
55:39 Speaker 00 Sold a dress for three pound.
55:41 Speaker 01 Mm hmm.
55:41 Speaker 00 Right, three pound.
55:42 Speaker 01 Mm hmm.
55:43 Speaker 00 That's, that's less than a coffee.
55:45 Speaker 01 Yes.
55:46 Speaker 00 In some places, right? Um, and I didn't realise because it was an old dress, that's why I was selling it for three pound. But it was missing a belt.
55:55 Speaker 01 Twelve warts.
55:56 Speaker 00 It was missing a belt.
55:57 Speaker 01 Twelve warts for that, yeah.
55:59 Speaker 00 It was missing a belt.
56:00 Speaker 01 Gonna be honest with you, I didn't listen to anything you said, I was working out.
56:02 Speaker 00 I sold a dress for three pound.
56:04 Speaker 01 Twelve warts.
56:04 Speaker 00 Quite old, it was missing a belt.
56:06 Speaker 01 Got you.
56:07 Speaker 00 I didn't realise though, because it just, it didn't, it just had the two little hooks on and I didn't, whereas I had your own belt, it's not the end of the world.
56:13 Speaker 01 Right.
56:13 Speaker 00 Somebody messaged me about three times saying like, is there a belt missing? And you know when you're like, it's three pound.
56:21 Speaker 01 Yeah.
56:23 Speaker 00 Leave me alone and I haven't sold it in the nelseens. It wound us up that way.
56:26 Speaker 01 I thought you'd, I thought you'd quieten down.
56:27 Speaker 00 Because it wound us up so much, I was like, somebody's trying to argue with us, about a three pound dress.
56:32 Speaker 01 Yeah.
56:32 Speaker 00 And, and a belt, like.
56:33 Speaker 01 But was the, was the belt missing?
56:35 Speaker 00 The belt was missing.
56:36 Speaker 01 Hmm.
56:36 Speaker 00 But at the end of the day.
56:37 Speaker 01 Did you sell it as dress and belt?
56:39 Speaker 00 No.
56:39 Speaker 01 Did the fourth or have the belt in?
56:40 Speaker 00 No. No, so she hasn't got like the standing in a court of law.
56:46 Speaker 01 Gosh.
56:47 Speaker 00 It was just weird, I just thought, oh, this is.
56:48 Speaker 01 Time.
56:49 Speaker 00 It's not, yeah, well, imagine the fees.
56:55 Speaker 00 Um, but I didn't, I didn't reply because I just thought, I can't, I can't be getting into this. Yeah, but me mum and Kate have had many an argument on vintage.
57:04 Speaker 01 I'm always hearing about the fucking rows that they have on vintage, it's crazy.
57:07 Speaker 00 It's hilarious.
57:07 Speaker 01 Crazy.
57:09 Speaker 00 But also I've had some lovely experiences and some people have been great, yeah.
57:14 Speaker 01 Any dildos on there?
57:16 Speaker 00 Probably.
57:17 Speaker 01 Good.
57:17 Speaker 00 I bought, um.
57:18 Speaker 01 Dildo?
57:19 Speaker 00 I bought trainers for the kids.
57:20 Speaker 01 Nice.
57:21 Speaker 00 Oh, amazing, like new with tags.
57:24 Speaker 01 It's, I think it's great for.
57:25 Speaker 00 The Nike Air Jordans I bought for Rob and I got them for twenty quid and they're, they're about fifty five quid, new and I was like.
57:30 Speaker 01 Someone, they weren't used?
57:32 Speaker 00 No, they were new with tags. Yeah, oh yeah, I bought like, I'm not slagging, but I think it's cla, I think it's class.
57:38 Speaker 01 Oh, everyone uses it, it's amazing.
57:39 Speaker 00 It's absolutely mint, but don't.
57:43 Speaker 00 Come crawling back for a belt that hasn't been seen for seven years on a three pound dress.
57:49 Speaker 01 I think the main story here is don't expect you to keep track of any accessories or look after anything you own.
57:56 Speaker 00 Oh, no.
57:56 Speaker 01 If you're buying anything from Vinted Off Rosie, it will have stains on, it will be fucked, there'll be bits missing because it's just how she lives.
58:02 Speaker 00 I mean, that's, that's really offensive because some of the stuff I've sold are very, very nice.
58:07 Speaker 01 I've only heard about this missing belt.
58:08 Speaker 00 We made a hundred and eighty pound for Verona.
58:11 Speaker 01 How much did you spend in Verona?
58:13 Speaker 00 A lot more than a hundred, but that was nice though. That's one of the dinners where I like, thank you, Vinted.
58:18 Speaker 01 Right.
58:18 Speaker 00 Class. Kate made loads as well, off loads of old stuff, so it's great. And it's, and we're supporting.
58:24 Speaker 01 Recycling.
58:25 Speaker 00 Yeah.
58:25 Speaker 01 There it is. There it is.
58:32 Speaker 00 Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of Shag Mar De Noi. We're bloody, we love you guys.
58:37 Speaker 01 We really do. Thank you so, so, so much for listening and watching. If you're on YouTube, please like and subscribe. That'll be wonderful. My tour is on sale, happening in September, not long now. Still some tickets available for various venues.
58:50 Speaker 00 I was telling everyone at work at the weekend how it's your best show you've ever done.
58:53 Speaker 01 More people, more people. Don't just work on a larger scale, on a larger scale. Tell them internationally, waste of time. Tell them on a larger medium, just like this medium which you just did. So thank you very much. And we'll be back in your ears next week. Bye.
59:06 Speaker 00 Bye.
59:08 Speaker 00 I hate Mondays.
59:10 Speaker 02 King's Hawaiian cinnamon swirl bite?
59:11 Speaker 03 Taylor Hanson? Sure, I'll try one.
59:14 Speaker 00 Mmm.
59:17 Speaker 04 Hey, let's get back to work, please.
59:18 Speaker 03 But Taylor Hanson's making my day way better with these new soft and swirly King's Hawaiian cinnamon bites.
59:23 Speaker 04 Taylor Hanson? Nice. Try one. Mmm.
59:30 Speaker 05 King's Hawaiian cinnamon bites. There's nothing like it.
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