S13 EP28: Katherine Ryan

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the comedian Katherine Ryan. Katherine's new book 'First Born Daughter' is available online and at books shops now. Parenting Hell is available to watch on Spotify every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xxx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [email protected] Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [email protected] A 'Keep It Light Media' Production (Copyright 2026) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Observe. The North American Dad. 50s. Great polo collection. He enters his vehicle information on Carvana. An offer appears in minutes. Remarkable. He squints, reads it again, smiles and says, dang, that's a good offer. The highest form of approval. No haggling, no hassle. No one called him boss. He's still on the couch. Astonishing. Sell your car today on carvana.com. Pickup fees may apply.

• 0:30Speaker 01

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  Don't miss the two-episode premiere of Marvel Television's Vision Quest.

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  Oh, you've got to love it. Who wouldn't love it, Rob?

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• 1:46Speaker 04

  Atoll and Abta protected.

• 1:51Speaker 04

  Hello, this is Parenting Hell with...

• 1:53Speaker 05

  Callum, can you say Rob Beckett? Hi, Blackie. And can you say Josh Whitaker?

• 2:02Speaker 05

  Where are you, man? Good boy.

• 2:05Speaker 04

  Yes. Jodie Gere. Why have I said her name?

• 2:09Speaker 03

  Because it's on the...

• 2:10Speaker 04

  No, I said her surname, but...

• 2:12Speaker 03

  I don't think she minds being surnamed off.

• 2:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, also, it's not the same surname that she uses in... I think she's got married.

• 2:18Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 2:19Speaker 04

  Because, and she's kept her maiden name email address.

• 2:22Speaker 03

  There was, I did a thing the other day and the lady's name was Sandercock. Surname Sandercock. And I did a joke where I said, she'll get divorced and remarried, remarried someone called Varisha Cock.

• 2:36Speaker 04

  Really good stuff.

• 2:37Speaker 03

  Thanks.

• 2:38Speaker 04

  Did it get much?

• 2:39Speaker 03

  Nope.

• 2:40Speaker 04

  Hi, you sexy, relatable boys. This is my two-year-old Callum, giving your names a good go. Been listening since the start and your podcast has kept me company through two pregnancies, two postpartums and countless walks to get the boys to sleep.

• 2:52Speaker 03

  What's a postpartum? After the baby's been born.

• 2:55Speaker 04

  Uh, thanks for everything you do. Lots of love, Jodie, husband Danny and our little boys, Callum and Harry. What is postpartum?

• 3:01Speaker 03

  I mean, we should know six years in. I thought that was just after you've had the baby.

• 3:05Speaker 04

  Um, it's the period after childbirth.

• 3:09Speaker 03

  So the rest of your life?

• 3:10Speaker 04

  Period of time immediately following childbirth.

• 3:13Speaker 03

  And then that's over? Then they can start fucking banging on about...

• 3:23Speaker 03

  Oh, Josh, I've got a crackly ear.

• 3:25Speaker 04

  Have you?

• 3:25Speaker 03

  So I was in the shower and...

• 3:27Speaker 04

  Sorry, is this an old-school joke?

• 3:32Speaker 04

  Shouldn't have eaten that pig.

• 3:34Speaker 03

  I've, um, no, I blew my nose in the, like, um, shower and a bit of water got in there. It's just sort of been crackling.

• 3:40Speaker 04

  I don't like that, yeah.

• 3:41Speaker 03

  So does it go? It should go soon?

• 3:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, it should.

• 3:43Speaker 03

  Because I had this before.

• 3:45Speaker 04

  Never.

• 3:47Speaker 03

  So I had this before, because I can't hear that well out of it, where I basically, and I'm not doing it this time, I basically was just trying to open it with cottons, but that's bad. Then it got an actual infection. So I basically had a thing. I don't know if you've ever had this before. A doctor just filled my ear full of medicine.

• 4:03Speaker 04

  Full of medicine? Alright, you five-year-old.

• 4:05Speaker 03

  Well, I like, oh, well, no, because it's like a big white cream, but I was facing the other way and he put it in my ear, so it could have been anything. But like, he basically, big, like, syringe of like, it felt like he just filled my entire ear full of Sudacreme. And I was like, alright. And then he went, yeah, well, come back in a couple of days. I was like, what? He's like, yeah, just have that in your ear for a few days. And he sucked it all out with a machine.

• 4:26Speaker 04

  There we go.

• 4:27Speaker 03

  Not with a big pair of lips and some energy.

• 4:30Speaker 04

  Shall we ask Katherine Ryan what postpartum means?

• 4:33Speaker 03

  Well, I think she's actually, the way she's banging out kids, I think she will be in that stage.

• 4:37Speaker 04

  Postpartum.

• 4:38Speaker 03

  So she's...

• 4:39Speaker 04

  This is Catherine's third, fourth?

• 4:42Speaker 03

  I've lost count on the kids. I think she's got four now.

• 4:44Speaker 04

  No, I was gonna say appearance on the pod.

• 4:46Speaker 03

  Third appearance.

• 4:47Speaker 04

  Appearance on the pod.

• 4:48Speaker 03

  Right. And third, fourth, four kids?

• 4:51Speaker 04

  Four kids.

• 4:51Speaker 03

  Three little ones, one older one.

• 4:52Speaker 04

  One of the interesting things I want to discuss with her, along with her excellent book, uh, which is firstborn child, firstborn, uh...

• 4:59Speaker 03

  Daughter.

• 4:59Speaker 04

  Daughter, sorry.

• 5:00Speaker 03

  Patriarchy.

• 5:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's awful. Um, is, since we've last spoken to her, Violet has become a bit of a kind of personality, public personality in her own right.

• 5:11Speaker 03

  She was on, um, Holly Willoughby's YouTube channel, but yes, we'll talk about Violet.

• 5:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, and we'll talk about the fact that she's just seemed to have more kids every time we speak to her.

• 5:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm looking forward to it.

• 5:22Speaker 04

  When will it end?

• 5:23Speaker 03

  When will it end?

• 5:24Speaker 04

  About 4:15.

• 5:25Speaker 03

  When's your pussy gonna shut up shop?

• 5:28Speaker 04

  Sorry? Sorry?

• 5:31Speaker 03

  I said, when's your pussy gonna shut up shop?

• 5:33Speaker 04

  Okay, you're gonna do that in the, you're gonna, you're gonna do that in the pod?

• 5:37Speaker 03

  I'll ask her. I'll go, first question. When's your pussy gonna shut up shop?

• 5:41Speaker 04

  Okay. I look forward to that. Never was an intro maybe more exciting. This is Katherine Ryan.

• 5:47Speaker 03

  First question.

• 5:51Speaker 03

  Catherine, I've got quite a punchy first question.

• 5:53Speaker 05

  What is it?

• 5:54Speaker 03

  That came up, like, in us missing about the intro.

• 5:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:00Speaker 05

  Come on.

• 6:01Speaker 03

  When your pussy gonna shut up shop?

• 6:03Speaker 05

  Ooh, my pussy has shut right up shop. My pussy has slammed shut.

• 6:09Speaker 03

  I panicked. I couldn't do anything. I felt like it was an offensive first question.

• 6:13Speaker 05

  No.

• 6:14Speaker 03

  Because Josh said what are you gonna say, Catherine? When your pussy gonna shut up shop?

• 6:18Speaker 04

  Don't do it again.

• 6:19Speaker 03

  I didn't do it in full beans like I did in the intro.

• 6:21Speaker 05

  I like the grime element.

• 6:23Speaker 03

  Are you done with kids?

• 6:25Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:26Speaker 03

  No more?

• 6:26Speaker 05

  No, definitely not. Like...

• 6:28Speaker 03

  Four and done.

• 6:29Speaker 05

  I took a pregnancy test yesterday because, because, so people will argue with me.

• 6:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:36Speaker 05

  But I think if you're exclusively breastfeeding, if you're breastfeeding a lot, and I mean like every two hours, normally...

• 6:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:42Speaker 05

  Oh, they get so mad. There are women out there who make breastfeeding their entire personality.

• 6:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:46Speaker 05

  So get ready to go even more viral than usual. If you're breastfeeding that much.

• 6:52Speaker 04

  Do you know what? I quite need this. Take some heat off some other areas of my life.

• 6:56Speaker 05

  You won't ovulate.

• 6:58Speaker 03

  Right.

• 6:58Speaker 05

  There are outliers, of course, but most women, if you're breastfeeding like day and night, day and night, every two hours, you won't ovulate.

• 7:05Speaker 03

  Right.

• 7:05Speaker 05

  Because your prolactin is really high, your estrogen has to be really low, you will not ovulate.

• 7:09Speaker 03

  So you can use breastfeeding as a contraception?

• 7:13Speaker 05

  And that's what's gonna piss them off, because there are outliers.

• 7:16Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 7:17Speaker 05

  So officially, no.

• 7:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:18Speaker 05

  But for me, yeah. Yes. So, and I know, you know, you gotta know yourself, but I just finished breastfeeding last month.

• 7:25Speaker 03

  Right.

• 7:25Speaker 05

  And then, you know, there were trips in Celine Dion concerts and a wedding in Spain.

• 7:30Speaker 04

  You're the third person I've met who went to that Celine Dion concert.

• 7:33Speaker 05

  Yeah, you've got to take the wives.

• 7:34Speaker 03

  And thought they were pregnant after.

• 7:35Speaker 05

  And exactly that.

• 7:36Speaker 03

  So how old's your, so you've got, Violet is 17.

• 7:39Speaker 04

  We're just moving on from Celine Dion.

• 7:40Speaker 03

  No, I'm trying to work out the ages and the breastfeeding. I think that helps with the...

• 7:44Speaker 04

  Well, it's not Violet.

• 7:45Speaker 05

  No.

• 7:46Speaker 03

  I know she's not breastfeeding.

• 7:47Speaker 05

  She's been weaned.

• 7:47Speaker 03

  But the, the...

• 7:48Speaker 05

  She exists exclusively on iced coffees and fried chicken.

• 7:51Speaker 03

  Perfect.

• 7:52Speaker 05

  She's breastfed by the Colonel himself.

• 7:56Speaker 03

  Little popcorn chickens.

• 7:57Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 7:58Speaker 03

  So, and then how old is the youngest?

• 8:00Speaker 05

  Five, three, 11 months.

• 8:02Speaker 03

  Right, so you breastfed till 11, or 10 months.

• 8:04Speaker 05

  10.

• 8:04Speaker 03

  Stopped, went to Celine Dion, got a bit freaky.

• 8:07Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 8:07Speaker 03

  Thought you were pregnant.

• 8:08Speaker 05

  And then I realised, oh my God, I think I might be ovulating, da-da-da. And I still, I still, well, it was negative, but, God.

• 8:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, so that's...

• 8:17Speaker 04

  Are they 100% on their pregnancy test?

• 8:18Speaker 05

  Yeah, well, you cannot get a false positive, really. You could get a false negative, but I'm not.

• 8:23Speaker 03

  No.

• 8:24Speaker 05

  But, and it would be a medical miracle. Like, I'm 43 now. I think there are...

• 8:27Speaker 03

  No, but you're, you're in a good run of form.

• 8:29Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 8:29Speaker 03

  You're heat maps, red hot.

• 8:31Speaker 04

  You're like Cristiano Ronaldo, when will the goals stop going in?

• 8:35Speaker 05

  I am a lot like him. Um, yeah, but it's too many and you've done very well with two. I like to challenge myself. I make two, you know, I think making hard things look easy is kind of a flex.

• 8:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:47Speaker 05

  I want to have the stupid car. I want to spoil the package holiday. I'm, you know, I can't fly business anymore.

• 8:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:53Speaker 05

  Because we can't even reach, even if I could afford to put everyone in, like, a virgin, uh, Atlantic little, you know, you know, the seats.

• 9:01Speaker 03

  Light beds, yeah.

• 9:02Speaker 05

  You can't, you can't get to that.

• 9:03Speaker 04

  Are you doing the split business, the parents in business and the kids?

• 9:06Speaker 05

  No, no, no, Sunita.

• 9:10Speaker 05

  I couldn't do that. Actually, I was most recently on an easy jet flight, not bragging.

• 9:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:15Speaker 05

  From a very remote part of Spain where Emily Attack, friend of the show, had her wedding.

• 9:21Speaker 03

  Yes, I saw you, yeah.

• 9:22Speaker 05

  And I flew back and I sat next to two huge fans of the show and they were watching Parenting Hell on their phone.

• 9:29Speaker 04

  People do watch it.

• 9:30Speaker 05

  They wa, yeah, and this is it. And I was like, oh, and I didn't want to say anything, you know, I was gonna be like, those are my friends. Yeah, been on there twice.

• 9:37Speaker 03

  Alumni?

• 9:38Speaker 05

  But then they mentioned to me, like, oh, we like your stuff a little bit too, not as much as Rob and Josh. And I said, oh, what age are your kids? And they had cats. So shout out to Cat Daddy. He's a huge fan.

• 9:50Speaker 03

  Cat Daddy?

• 9:51Speaker 05

  Cat Daddy.

• 9:52Speaker 03

  So who's Cat Daddy?

• 9:52Speaker 05

  That's him. That's the husband.

• 9:54Speaker 03

  Oh, the husband?

• 9:56Speaker 05

  His name's Cat Daddy.

• 9:56Speaker 04

  What's your, what's that face then?

• 9:58Speaker 03

  Cat Daddy?

• 9:59Speaker 04

  Who's looking over there?

• 10:00Speaker 03

  I thought he was looking at, uh, someone who used to work with Romesh.

• 10:06Speaker 03

  I get confused when someone's looking right at me. Pardon? What was that? No, Cat Daddy, so it was a man watching?

• 10:10Speaker 05

  With his wife.

• 10:11Speaker 03

  With his wife.

• 10:11Speaker 04

  I think you had a reaction to the name Cat Daddy.

• 10:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, I didn't. He sounded like a kink.

• 10:16Speaker 05

  He's your biggest fan.

• 10:17Speaker 03

  He is?

• 10:18Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 10:18Speaker 03

  Okay, well, that, no, I think, so, uh, Cat Daddy feels like it's a gay term for sort of like, I'm thinking sort of like, a gay guy that's not skinny, but not lean, but like, soft, but slim. Little bit of fuzzy facial hair and he licks his own arse.

• 10:38Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 10:42Speaker 05

  They can catch on.

• 10:43Speaker 03

  He needs a cat daddy.

• 10:45Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 10:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:45Speaker 05

  I was gonna say it's an otter until he licks his own ass and then yeah, cat daddy.

• 10:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:50Speaker 05

  You got it.

• 10:50Speaker 03

  But that's the cat part, isn't it? Sorry. Cause you get otters.

• 10:53Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 10:53Speaker 03

  Gay guys that like that. Yeah, their otters are sort of bearded and hairy but slim.

• 10:58Speaker 04

  Right, and they're bare.

• 10:59Speaker 03

  Bare, yeah.

• 11:00Speaker 05

  They can't lick their own ass.

• 11:01Speaker 04

  So talk to me about Celine Dion.

• 11:02Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 11:03Speaker 03

  Cause she can lick.

• 11:04Speaker 05

  She could lick her own ass, I bet. And hairless. She, she looks like one of those cats, one of those hairless cats.

• 11:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, she does. She does, yeah.

• 11:13Speaker 05

  She's Canadian.

• 11:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, of course.

• 11:16Speaker 05

  France, go fun. Absolument comme moi. So I had to go. Um, Bobby, I wasn't sure if I was gonna invite him. I got two tickets long ago and I went, will I drag my husband to this?

• 11:25Speaker 04

  Oh, two?

• 11:26Speaker 05

  Paris.

• 11:27Speaker 04

  Paris. Oh, no wonder you almost fell pregnant.

• 11:31Speaker 05

  I know. And I just, um, we took the Eurostar, we stayed at the George V Four Seasons, like one of the most beautiful Four Seasons. You gotta just go all out.

• 11:39Speaker 03

  That's, yeah, that's nice.

• 11:40Speaker 05

  And we enjoyed the concert. A lot of it was in French. She's wiggling, she's moving and grooving, she's dancing.

• 11:46Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 11:47Speaker 05

  She's like, she's amazing. But I think kind of if you wanna go on a budget, cause the concert is still on for a while, depending on when this goes out, uh, throughout the autumn, she's still touring. But just go post up by her hotel. Don't bother getting a ticket, even though I loved the show. She leaves her hotel every day in a new amazing outfit. She's like climbing on vehicles, shaking hands, kissing babies, dancing, like she is running amok. And it's the best, it's the best PR ever. I need to do it.

• 12:16Speaker 04

  I didn't realise Celine Dion was like a laugh.

• 12:17Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah. This is what Bobby didn't realise.

• 12:20Speaker 04

  No, I didn't know that. I presumed she was quite serious about herself.

• 12:24Speaker 03

  So did Bobby enjoy it?

• 12:26Speaker 05

  He loved it because I, he's Canadian as well. He loves, you know, the big anthems that we all know.

• 12:32Speaker 03

  He leans into being quite Dutch, doesn't he, when it comes to football, which seems a bit of a cheat?

• 12:36Speaker 05

  Well, tell you what.

• 12:36Speaker 03

  Cause Canada were in the World Cup and he didn't, did he follow them or did he follow the, the Dutch?

• 12:41Speaker 05

  The Dutch, becau-, well, for obvious reasons, but, um.

• 12:44Speaker 03

  Cause you're dressed up quite Americana today.

• 12:46Speaker 05

  Yeah. Yeah. Um, well, I have a stylist, so I, I'll be honest. Mother on the, I feel like it's overkill what I'm wearing for parenting.

• 12:55Speaker 04

  I like it. I like it. You've come, you've gone for it.

• 12:58Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 12:58Speaker 04

  We know that you're not back to backing loads of different podcasts. That's the good thing.

• 13:01Speaker 05

  Thank you. Yeah. She really tailored it to the show.

• 13:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, exactly.

• 13:05Speaker 05

  Um, being Canadian, it's weird to identify with that. Like, I'll meet British people who are like, I'm half Canadian. And I'm like, mm, what half? Like, what are you talking about? Cause they'll be like, oh, my uncle is from there. I'm like, but he's British and you're British. And I'm essentially Irish and British.

• 13:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:21Speaker 05

  We're just like, we did some evil things over there. But Canada gets good PR, so everyone loves us.

• 13:26Speaker 04

  They do, don't they?

• 13:27Speaker 05

  These are so nice. I'm like, ask the indigenous people. Buckwood maple syrup, with whom I'm currently under a brand contract.

• 13:35Speaker 03

  Of course, yeah.

• 13:36Speaker 05

  Ching, really delicious.

• 13:39Speaker 03

  Really?

• 13:39Speaker 05

  Thank you for mentioning that.

• 13:40Speaker 03

  And is that sort of your go-to one anyway? And then it's like two worlds, but that's a great, nothing better than that, is there? You was up early this morning, you said?

• 13:47Speaker 05

  Three thirty today.

• 13:48Speaker 04

  What?

• 13:49Speaker 03

  Talk us through your normal routine then of getting up. Is this particularly early?

• 13:52Speaker 05

  You guys won't like this.

• 13:53Speaker 03

  Go on.

• 13:53Speaker 05

  We sleep in a mega nursery.

• 13:55Speaker 03

  Sorry, in a mega nursery?

• 13:57Speaker 05

  Five of us, yeah.

• 13:58Speaker 03

  Right.

• 13:58Speaker 04

  Ah, I'm feeling better about my life already.

• 14:01Speaker 03

  And he's been on the floor for a year and a half.

• 14:02Speaker 04

  I've been on the floor for a year and a half.

• 14:04Speaker 03

  Talk us through the mega nursery. What's it look like? One giant like king bed?

• 14:07Speaker 05

  I wish it was that simple, Rob. So we have kind of, um, moved around different rooms of the house, tried different setups. For a while, when we had Fred, we would take turns. One of us would get a good night's sleep in the primary bedroom. One of us would sleep in Fred's room with Fred and that was quite like egalitarian. Then we had Fenna, a name that it's too late to change.

• 14:28Speaker 04

  I like it.

• 14:29Speaker 05

  I like it too. It is Dutch.

• 14:31Speaker 03

  I like Fenna.

• 14:32Speaker 05

  Me too.

• 14:32Speaker 03

  I do.

• 14:33Speaker 05

  Fenna Grace.

• 14:33Speaker 04

  I think you.

• 14:34Speaker 03

  Oh, it's a beautiful name.

• 14:35Speaker 05

  I think so, yeah. But people think it sounds like a.

• 14:37Speaker 03

  What surname do they have?

• 14:38Speaker 05

  Kuztra.

• 14:39Speaker 04

  Kuztra, great, great.

• 14:41Speaker 05

  Very Dutch. And she is a little footballer. She's three and she's small, but she will like kick your ass. And she's, what I realise about athletes is, uh, they're not afraid. Like, I've never wanted to hurt myself, to get in the way of a ball or risk like pulling something. I've always been like, wow, I don't care where the ball goes. And my son Fred is, you know, the same. But Fenna Grace.

• 15:04Speaker 03

  Cause Bobby's a good athlete, isn't he?

• 15:06Speaker 05

  Incredible athlete, but he's in his 40s, so he's injured.

• 15:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, all the time.

• 15:10Speaker 05

  All the time.

• 15:11Speaker 03

  And also dealing with this sort of ego death of getting slowly weaker before inevitable death.

• 15:15Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 15:15Speaker 04

  Aren't we all?

• 15:16Speaker 05

  All, that is a common theme for us all. But she will full tilt into a wall, just like in the name of athleticism, Fenna Grace. Like if she needs to fight to get a ball or something, she's amazing.

• 15:27Speaker 03

  But you, you have that, maybe not in sport, but in life.

• 15:31Speaker 05

  In life, I certainly have that.

• 15:32Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 15:33Speaker 05

  So back to the sleep routine that's gonna upset you. Then I was with Fenna for a while. Again, a new baby breastfeeding.

• 15:38Speaker 03

  Yeah. So Bobby was in with, yeah.

• 15:40Speaker 05

  Yeah. Then we had Holland, another Dutch name. A bit on the nose, that one.

• 15:49Speaker 03

  Middle and Canada?

• 15:50Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was alone with Holland in the primary bedroom for a while. And Bobby had both the kids in this nursery that I built. So on the top floor, I've got these alcove beds in the wall. Have you ever seen that? People will be like, what do we do with the loft? And they have these cool beds inside the wall almost.

• 16:06Speaker 03

  Okay. It was like bunk beds built into the walls.

• 16:08Speaker 05

  Kind of. Like, so we had two of those.

• 16:10Speaker 03

  Are they sleeping on shelves?

• 16:12Speaker 05

  No, they're, no.

• 16:13Speaker 03

  Just deep shelves?

• 16:14Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah. Two deep shelves. But they won't sleep in there. So we have two super king mattresses on the floor, where now.

• 16:23Speaker 04

  Here we go. Talk my language.

• 16:25Speaker 05

  Eleven months in, it goes me, Holland, Fred, Fenna, Bobby. So we're like Charlie in the fucking chocolate factory. Like bookending these kids in the mega nursery.

• 16:37Speaker 04

  Is Bobby in there?

• 16:39Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 16:39Speaker 04

  So it's everyone except Violet?

• 16:41Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 16:42Speaker 04

  So what does Violet make of it all?

• 16:44Speaker 05

  She just thinks we're nuts. She, she's been against the like breeding program from the start.

• 16:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:52Speaker 05

  But she doesn't care. Like, this is why it's really important to treasure your small ones. And as like wanky as it sounds, you're tired. And mine don't even sleep through the night. Fred and Fenna, most nights will sleep through, but Holland, absolutely not. Like every hour and a half.

• 17:06Speaker 03

  Is it because there's 11 people in the room that anyone's?

• 17:08Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah. They're like, um, but Violet's 17 and we don't even, we rarely hear from her. She doesn't care where we are. She like runs the house. We're up in the mega nursery.

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• 18:54Speaker 04

  Cause I'm on the floor.

• 18:55Speaker 05

  Yep. Like the actual floor or you've got a mattress, you've got a.

• 18:58Speaker 04

  We've got a mattress.

• 18:58Speaker 03

  But this is only recent. He was sleeping on the, at the, a top, a mattress topper on the floor.

• 19:03Speaker 04

  I didn't realise. I just thought it was, I thought it was a futon. So, but now I've got a mattress, it's me and my daughter on the floor and then Rose and my son in the bed because we're having the house done.

• 19:14Speaker 05

  Oh, fine.

• 19:15Speaker 04

  But, but that has been going on a year and a half.

• 19:18Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 19:18Speaker 03

  But that was happening before at the old house as well, wasn't it?

• 19:21Speaker 04

  Oh no, I'm including that in the year and a half.

• 19:22Speaker 03

  Really?

• 19:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:24Speaker 03

  You've moved, yeah. So it was only six months and.

• 19:26Speaker 04

  Maybe two years.

• 19:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, I get that, yeah. But then I think Catherine's accepted that she's got this mega nursery that people may or may not agree with and that whatever, if it working for you, it sounds like it isn't because they're not sleeping, but that's fine. Um, but you're, I feel like you are hiding behind.

• 19:41Speaker 04

  No.

• 19:41Speaker 03

  The, we're renovated, we're renovated. But I feel like once it's all renovated, there'll still be this nursery set up.

• 19:47Speaker 04

  I don't hate it.

• 19:49Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 19:49Speaker 04

  I don't hate everyone in the same room. I like it. It feels nice, doesn't it?

• 19:53Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 19:54Speaker 04

  It does.

• 19:55Speaker 05

  And so many societies have done that since the beginning of time. We're the only mammal that would put our young, like, naught in the nest. Just be like, good luck in a separate room. It is weird in, in Western culture.

• 20:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, you weirdo, Rob.

• 20:09Speaker 03

  Yep, sorry for being absolutely, yeah.

• 20:11Speaker 05

  But, depends.

• 20:12Speaker 03

  But to be, no, to be fair, our young, we, we are, our youngest comes in, still gets into bed with us. We don't send them away. We never send them away. If they wanna get into bed with us, they'll get into bed. But we often go like, we'll put you into your own bed. If they're really upset and they wanna, we never would. But they've always been quite happy to. But they wake up in the night, yeah. So. But they've got sep-, they're in separate bedrooms.

• 20:30Speaker 05

  Oh, are they?

• 20:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, they've got their own rooms.

• 20:31Speaker 05

  Sisters refuse to do that.

• 20:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, one of them is like, we'll sleep anyway. It's like an actual cat where one's a bit more like, I've woke up, I've had a bad dream, can I get in?

• 20:39Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 20:40Speaker 04

  So we do, yeah. Not the best podcast compared to someone to a cat on.

• 20:43Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 20:43Speaker 03

  Oh, not after this one.

• 20:44Speaker 05

  Nobody made that callback at all. That was very respectful, I think.

• 20:47Speaker 03

  When it is a child, you can't, we can't, we can't possibly do those callbacks.

• 20:52Speaker 05

  But I think, um, a lot of people who are anti-co-sleeping, they co-sleep and they don't realise it because it will be that arrangement. They'll go, well, we put them to bed. Cause that's what Bobby and I do. We put them to bed, we lay with them, we pretend to sleep. Sometimes we do fall asleep.

• 21:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:05Speaker 05

  Then we go and clean the kitchen, put the laundry on, try to eat something, try to watch something together. And then we rejoin them. But a lot of people's kids have come in by then anyway, by midnight. And they're like, I would never co-sleep. It's like, well, you do.

• 21:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're doing it just later on. But no, I'm not anti-co-sleeping at all. It's only the, our eldest.

• 21:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 21:23Speaker 03

  Who we had to do, um, cry out with, which we, we did not wanna do it, was anti that. But we tried everything and this child honestly would not sleep at all. And then we did it, we were at wit's end. Cause it was like even in the bed with us, just not sleeping, crying. We did it. And it was one night of her crying and basically realised, she basically realised, which sounds bleak, no one was coming.

• 21:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 21:43Speaker 03

  And then she has slept perfectly for the last. Twelve year and then we, you know, with our other child's bit more comes in at night. But yeah, I'm not anti co-sleeping, but a lot of people do it, I think.

• 21:53Speaker 05

  You do have to prioritize your mental health and like I even crashed out on the baby two nights ago. Because and Violet, that's when you do hear from Violet. If she hears me getting upset, she pops her head and not to help, but just to be like.

• 22:06Speaker 03

  You okay?

• 22:06Speaker 05

  Slow down. Like, what are you doing? Why are you yelling at a baby? Um, just with judgment. If Violet feels like she can like throw shade.

• 22:12Speaker 03

  She's your Brad Pitt in Fight Club.

• 22:13Speaker 05

  She really? But um, the baby like vomited because she was angry, not scared, not sad. I just put her in her cot, which the kids don't even, they're like, what is this apparatus? We have one cot that we keep in the primary bedroom from like, just, just like hopes and dreams from six years ago. And I stood her in it right next to us because I needed to help Fred and she started to walk. So I can't just put her down. She'll like fall down the stairs. So I just sat her in there. I was this closer to her than I am to you and she got so angry that I wasn't picking her up that she just projectile vomited all over the bedroom. And I was like, that's it. Take a good look at yourself yelling at a baby.

• 22:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, but it's totally, you got three under, we had three under four for the first one. It's a lot.

• 23:01Speaker 04

  That's tough.

• 23:02Speaker 03

  Do you feel any sort of, you see some calm waters approaching?

• 23:05Speaker 05

  Yes. Oh my gosh. The switch in mindset for women, I don't know about you. I don't, do dads have this? Did you know you were done when you were done? Or do you keep the door open for like, oh, maybe?

• 23:17Speaker 03

  What more kids?

• 23:18Speaker 04

  The door's not open now, but I, I think if we'd been younger.

• 23:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 23:23Speaker 04

  We'd have liked three.

• 23:24Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 23:25Speaker 04

  But by the time we had our second one, I was probably, we were probably 41. Do you know what I mean?

• 23:31Speaker 03

  Well, the door was open up until about a three and a half year gap. But then when it got too long, we was like, oh, it feels like we'd, we'd sort of parenting two separate generations, which you were at the beginning of your second batch anyway.

• 23:44Speaker 05

  Hundred percent.

• 23:44Speaker 03

  So it didn't impact you too much. Is that okay? Second batch?

• 23:49Speaker 05

  It feels very ejaculate based.

• 23:53Speaker 03

  The second batch. These are my second batch. Um, but um, so you, what you?

• 23:58Speaker 05

  But for me, I knew, I kind of knew after Fred invented that I wanted one more. And then when we had Holland, I just started giving stuff away. I started thinking about the future, which I hadn't done. I'd been just in very like.

• 24:10Speaker 04

  You've basically had a child under 10 for 17 years.

• 24:16Speaker 05

  Forever. Yeah.

• 24:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:17Speaker 05

  Yes. But now I just think like I just leased an office in central London. I'm just making plans for myself. Like it feels like, I love, I love being a mom. Everybody knows that about me.

• 24:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's got on your top.

• 24:30Speaker 04

  You don't need to.

• 24:31Speaker 05

  I'm this bitch, but then I'm, I, I work as a top, but I live as a bottom.

• 24:35Speaker 03

  Well, we know, we've known you for years. You're one of the kindest, most emotional and caring people.

• 24:41Speaker 04

  There you go. And I mean that.

• 24:43Speaker 03

  You are one of the, like proper will back people up. You look after, you care for people. And this is you as well with this, your comedy persona, but deep down you are a very loving, caring person.

• 24:54Speaker 05

  And I love babies, but I'm really excited it's done. So I have an appointment to get my breast implants out next month. Had a facelift. I brought an eight week old baby to my facelift. They said it's the first time they've ever seen that. And I think that everything said out loud to me as a compliment. So I was like, thank you. And the nurse was like, no, not thank you.

• 25:12Speaker 03

  So you had a facelift? When did you have a facelift?

• 25:14Speaker 05

  Uh, Holland was eight weeks old.

• 25:15Speaker 03

  Eight weeks old?

• 25:16Speaker 04

  It's a great facelift.

• 25:17Speaker 05

  Thanks.

• 25:18Speaker 04

  Your skin is so good as well, isn't it?

• 25:20Speaker 05

  Yeah. Well, that is a lifetime of sun avoidance, but.

• 25:23Speaker 03

  And breasts, what are you having?

• 25:25Speaker 05

  So I've had implants since before I ever met.

• 25:28Speaker 03

  Well, Catherine said something to her breasts and then I started asking the question and then I felt awkward.

• 25:31Speaker 05

  No, you're fine to ask.

• 25:32Speaker 04

  I don't know about these hands either.

• 25:34Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 25:34Speaker 05

  They're not, they're spad yet.

• 25:37Speaker 03

  So they're, no, but, and go on, pull that in there, that there, that like that, you're off.

• 25:43Speaker 05

  But it's related to the show.

• 25:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, of course.

• 25:45Speaker 05

  Because, you know, I have to declare myself at customs as dairy produce. At this point I've been breastfeeding so long, like a lot of damage has happened. So before I ever met you guys, I had breast implants because I'm from a toxic generation, like in Canada, we were all getting breast implants when we were like 21, 22. And um, I feel that's very emblematic of the late nineties, like a lower back tattoo.

• 26:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, so real minds have Chinese tattoo, a bit, a moment in time.

• 26:11Speaker 05

  I don't like them.

• 26:11Speaker 03

  So they're going out.

• 26:12Speaker 05

  Out. And I'm not even replacing them, which would surprise people about me maybe, but. I just want like boy nipple.

• 26:19Speaker 03

  Boy nipple?

• 26:20Speaker 05

  Yeah, like small, um.

• 26:22Speaker 03

  Well, how will an implant infect your nipples?

• 26:25Speaker 05

  Like all I want is nipple. I don't even want like breasts.

• 26:28Speaker 03

  You don't know breasts, you just want nipples?

• 26:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, I want, like, you know, I don't know if men do this, you know, like fashion tits versus like lads' mags tits.

• 26:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:37Speaker 03

  What are fashion tits?

• 26:38Speaker 05

  Like Kendall Jenner, for example, can wear anything.

• 26:41Speaker 03

  Oh, like, well, that's sort of, and it just hangs on them and they're just fashion tits as opposed to big massive. I'm doing the hands again. Yeah.

• 26:47Speaker 04

  Jugs.

• 26:48Speaker 05

  Jugs. I don't want jugs.

• 26:51Speaker 03

  You don't want jugs, you want fashion tits?

• 26:52Speaker 05

  Fashion tits is next for me.

• 26:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, so that, so you don't want as much volume there. You want it just.

• 26:58Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 26:59Speaker 03

  Got you.

• 26:59Speaker 05

  Excuse me. He's talking the surgery lingo.

• 27:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, less volume. Yeah. And uh.

• 27:05Speaker 04

  Turn down the volume.

• 27:06Speaker 03

  Are you doing anything with the nipples or they just staying as, as they were?

• 27:09Speaker 05

  I did think of getting.

• 27:10Speaker 04

  Do you want them?

• 27:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, what are you doing with them after?

• 27:14Speaker 05

  I did.

• 27:14Speaker 03

  No, are they, are they, it's just too many questions?

• 27:16Speaker 05

  No.

• 27:17Speaker 03

  No.

• 27:18Speaker 05

  My nipples have held up. They're fine. But I did think I saw, I don't know where I saw this, a girl had tattooed her nipples like hearts. She kind of looked like a Care Bear.

• 27:27Speaker 03

  Oh, I don't know about tattooed heart nipples.

• 27:29Speaker 05

  I kind of thought that was cool for a bit.

• 27:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:31Speaker 05

  But I've gone off it.

• 27:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, thank God.

• 27:33Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 27:34Speaker 03

  No, but because I think it undermines your fashion tits.

• 27:36Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 27:36Speaker 03

  If you, if you want to be on Vogue and then like it's a bit like a seafood dress and there's a heart, it's like, oh no, no, we can't take her seriously.

• 27:43Speaker 04

  No.

• 27:44Speaker 05

  Thank you. We can't take that lady with her heart nipples out seriously. They're around. Boardroom.

• 27:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, straight to boardroom.

• 27:52Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 27:52Speaker 03

  Oh, so you've got plans then? Big plans?

• 27:54Speaker 05

  Yeah. And like some of it is about.

• 27:55Speaker 04

  You've got an office, you've got fashion tits, this is where you're going.

• 27:58Speaker 05

  These are my priorities, Josh. Yeah. Some of it is about, like, because there is, as we learned in your wife's formidable book.

• 28:06Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 28:07Speaker 05

  Lessons from the default parent. There is this identity crisis, I think, that happens with everyone when they become parents. And that is like not gender specific, but certainly for mums, certainly for co-sleeping breastfeeding, like very attachment parent mums. Who've been pregnant. I've been pregnant six times in five years. I've only had three kids. Changed my mind a few times. No, I, I just, because we're old. We, we did have miscarriages, which I'm fine talking about, but.

• 28:32Speaker 03

  Such a bad delivery of it.

• 28:34Speaker 05

  Sorry. Well, how else do you say it? Well, it's part of life. It really is part of like having a family. Um, but like part of me really wanted to do that physical stuff, which sounds silly. But I recognize myself in the mirror a bit again. I'm like, oh, yeah.

• 28:52Speaker 04

  That's good.

• 28:53Speaker 05

  You're not just someone's mom. Cause I got fat. Let's be honest. I got quite fat.

• 28:57Speaker 03

  You did get fat.

• 28:57Speaker 04

  I don't remember that.

• 28:58Speaker 05

  Hey guys, come on. People are not going to respect you if you can't.

• 29:03Speaker 03

  In between pregnancies or when you were pregnant?

• 29:06Speaker 05

  When I was pregnant.

• 29:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I don't, that, that doesn't count.

• 29:10Speaker 05

  Yeah, because I got specifically fat in the face and neck.

• 29:12Speaker 03

  But that doesn't count. That, but that's, you didn't get fat. Your body was being used to create a baby.

• 29:18Speaker 05

  I get that, but I was on television. So it's a thing.

• 29:21Speaker 03

  You was, yeah.

• 29:23Speaker 05

  It's a thing.

• 29:23Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 29:24Speaker 05

  You would see if dads, well dads, I suppose do get fat. There's the, the phenomenon of the dad bod. That is, there is a study that it's like this sympathetic.

• 29:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't know whether I buy that.

• 29:35Speaker 05

  No, all right.

• 29:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I, you know, I, I personally am not a massive fan of like, you know, the, the idea of a man with like ripped six pack, like.

• 29:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:44Speaker 03

  A feet, a, a woman absolutely ripped to pieces and shredded, not really my, my bag, the same way as I think most women don't really like completely ripped men.

• 29:52Speaker 04

  No, I know. And that's why we haven't tried.

• 29:54Speaker 03

  No, exactly. I mean, I can't be this charismatic, caring and handsome and ripped.

• 29:59Speaker 05

  Yeah, you guys were ripped.

• 30:00Speaker 03

  It'd just be my tiny dick, but hold me back.

• 30:02Speaker 04

  Be honest, I don't know when, what all of these episodes have gone out, but we were both drooling over Matt Willis's fit body earlier.

• 30:07Speaker 03

  He's outrageous.

• 30:08Speaker 05

  Why was he getting it out?

• 30:09Speaker 03

  No, he's just sat there just like a normal guy, but just, you can see it. You know, when someone sort of tucks in their shirt, but there's not sort of little fat bits popping up the side.

• 30:16Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:17Speaker 03

  Anyway, what are you doing in your office?

• 30:21Speaker 05

  Well, I put a big portrait of Matt Willis up.

• 30:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, of course.

• 30:25Speaker 05

  Um, well, it's weird.

• 30:27Speaker 03

  Did you write your book in there?

• 30:28Speaker 05

  No, I just got it. I move in like next week.

• 30:30Speaker 04

  Let's talk on the book.

• 30:31Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 30:32Speaker 04

  Good link.

• 30:33Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, I forgot.

• 30:34Speaker 03

  Absolute pro.

• 30:34Speaker 05

  Sorry.

• 30:35Speaker 04

  Firstborn daughter.

• 30:36Speaker 03

  It's not all ass licking.

• 30:37Speaker 05

  No, no. Firstborn Daughter is my new book.

• 30:40Speaker 04

  Yeah. And so this, we really should have been better at like linking into that because if ever there's, normally it's quite a gear change into the book.

• 30:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:49Speaker 04

  When we're doing this podcast, but here, we're talking parenting here.

• 30:53Speaker 03

  Actually, I thought I did pretty well.

• 30:54Speaker 04

  You did, you did.

• 30:55Speaker 03

  So why are you having a go now?

• 30:56Speaker 04

  Well, then we just kind of, you know.

• 30:58Speaker 03

  It fell away. Got the old chop chop editor, haven't we?

• 31:00Speaker 05

  I'm the one who ruined it, Rob. Did you write your new book in there? No. I mean, yes.

• 31:05Speaker 03

  No, you can't lie.

• 31:07Speaker 05

  Yes, I wrote my new book, Firstborn Daughter in my new office.

• 31:10Speaker 04

  You are, and it's about you being firstborn daughter, Violet being firstborn daughter.

• 31:13Speaker 05

  Well, actually, it's kind of just a comedy memoir over the last five or six years because they were like, would you like to write another memoir? I said, I don't know if a lot has happened for a memoir in that time. But then I started to notice on tour, it was like a throwaway question at one of my gigs that I said, is anyone else a firstborn daughter? Because I'm a firstborn granddaughter, firstborn niece, firstborn daughter. And like every woman put their hand up. I was like, everyone. It was a gig in China. No, it was, um, I was like, everyone's a firstborn daughter. And there are these personality archetypes, if you go through birth order theory and all these different psychoanalysis. Like I've done some rigorous research on Momsnet, you know, TikTok, Instagram reels. It's kind of a thing, a trend at the minute to talk about being an eldest daughter.

• 31:56Speaker 04

  Daughter, describe.

• 31:58Speaker 05

  We are very competent and very resilient and very headstrong, but we've also had to pick up a lot for the family. There's parentification from a young age where like you are looking after your siblings. You're reminding your parents that having like a marital dispute at parents' evening is maybe not the best thing. You're picking up a lot around the house. You're like a little mini mom. But also you can read the room really well. Your parents were learning how to be parents for the first time when you were born.

• 32:25Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 32:26Speaker 05

  And they've done these studies with sons and daughters and a lot of these traits get passed on to daughters, but not sons. So we still raise people. Yeah. So it's like a lot of that psychoanalysis, but just looking at my last five years through that lens and some celebrity firstborn daughters.

• 32:43Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 32:46Speaker 05

  It's not all good either. Like we do, we argue with experts, like we have problems as well.

• 32:50Speaker 04

  Who are firstborn daughters celebrity wise?

• 32:53Speaker 05

  Every female stand up, Amy Schumer, Michelle Wolf, Wanda Sykes, Ashling B, Sarah Pascoe, Roshan Conady, Taylor Tomlinson, Nikki Glaser, like every standup comedian happens to be a firstborn daughter, which is weird.

• 33:06Speaker 04

  That's interesting.

• 33:07Speaker 05

  Katie Price, Gemma Collins.

• 33:09Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 33:10Speaker 05

  Olivia Atwood, Maya Jamma, not Celine Dion. Celine Dion's the youngest of 14.

• 33:14Speaker 03

  What?

• 33:15Speaker 05

  Yeah, wildlife.

• 33:17Speaker 04

  No wonder she's desperate for the attention out on the cars. Remember, I'm still here.

• 33:23Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 33:23Speaker 04

  She's the what? The 14th?

• 33:25Speaker 05

  Youngest of 14, Celine Dion.

• 33:27Speaker 04

  Youngest of 14, fair play.

• 33:29Speaker 05

  Kate Moss is a firstborn daughter. Like there's so many that would impress you and I forget them all, like hundreds of cool ladies.

• 33:36Speaker 03

  Talk to Violet or write about Violet in it and that kind of stuff?

• 33:39Speaker 05

  Yes. So I was raised by a firstborn daughter. I talk about my mom in a lot of the ways that, because firstborn daughter doesn't have to be always like me.

• 33:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:46Speaker 05

  Sometimes you're a martyr or you're the diplomat or you feel invisible. Like you take on these different roles that are outlined in all this stuff I read. But um, I'm also raising a firstborn daughter and she is my favorite child, which is probably the most rage baity thing that I say in the book. But I think it's important when I've gone and had this whole other batch, as you describe, my kids without her, it's like, no, she, she really holds like a special place. I think you, you do have a favorite sometimes. And I just don't mind saying it because the others are too young to read.

• 34:19Speaker 03

  But also as well, you know, I knew you at that period, you, when we were starting out, we, we had no money, no access. You didn't, you were alone in the city, away from your family and you took her to gigs and she saw you rise up and she was with you that whole time and was sort of made it, you know, harder in a way, but also was a, someone to look after. You had responsibilities and it's an incredible journey that you did with her. That now the rest of the batch, the new batch are sort of enjoying the success you guys got together. Really, it was almost like a double act going through because you're always together.

• 34:50Speaker 05

  She was always around and so she's quite, I wouldn't say she's parentified, but like I never made her look after anyone else. I didn't have anyone else, but she's very adult in that like she grew up around all these really smart, funny, cool comedians. Like she, she had a different experience, certainly, but also she had hardships that my kids don't have now. So I do have like a survivor's loyalty to Violet.

• 35:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:14Speaker 05

  You know, I think our love is bigger and older. Like she knows a part of me that even my husband wasn't around for. Like she, yeah.

• 35:23Speaker 03

  Because in most families, you have your experience as a child and then you have your children's experience of being children. But you're, you're almost living through three different things of, you know, because your experience, your experience. But Violet's experience with you is totally different to what you had growing up and now what your new, you know, the younger kids have got. It's, it's mad to have three versions of before.

• 35:45Speaker 05

  I was really lucky actually, and that's why I try to big up single moms too in some of the stuff that I write in my work because it was such a unique life experience to be a single mom. And it was hard sometimes, but I was so lucky that I didn't have to share her with anybody and I knew like, I knew where I stood all the time, especially as a firstborn daughter. I love that. It's kind of hard for me to be married, even though Bobby's really helpful and he does a lot. I'm like, well, who's doing this today? I would many times rather just do it all myself.

• 36:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:13Speaker 05

  I'm not very good at asking for help. I really suck at collaborating. Like I, I still struggle in a marriage with a very nice, helpful man.

• 36:23Speaker 03

  What are you doing here? I'm doing this.

• 36:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah. And then she, she has a chapter that she wrote for the audiobook.

• 36:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:30Speaker 05

  But my mom was quite invisible growing up and then she raised me to take up space. And I think she overcorrected slightly on that. And then Violet is extremely boundaried. So you know the Catherine Ryan on stage, like in the beginning that you got to know there, I was like, don't do this and blah, blah, blah. Violet is that way in real life. I think she's maybe too boundaried. She clocks people. I've got like golden retriever energy in a romantic relationship and she's pure black cat energy, not to bring it back to cats. But she's just like, she drops people. She's a fucking savage. I really like her.

• 37:07Speaker 04

  This episode is brought to you by Morrison's.

• 37:09Speaker 03

  Josh, Halloween has never been bigger. What's going on?

• 37:12Speaker 04

  Rob, it is massive now. When I was a kid, barely anyone went trick or treating. Now there's people trick or treating everywhere. There's pumpkins outside houses, Rob. People having Halloween parties. Oh my word, it never ends. It gets bigger every year.

• 37:26Speaker 03

  Do you know what I like? A box with a button says, press that and out comes a little hand.

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  Parents have to make it fun, right? But you are putting the work in, right? But it doesn't have to be scary, Rob. In fact, just head to Morrison's. First off, it ain't Halloween without a pumpkin, is it, my friend?

• 37:41Speaker 03

  Ooh.

• 37:42Speaker 04

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• 37:45Speaker 03

  Absolute bargain.

• 37:46Speaker 04

  And on Market Street, there's Halloween wood firing crispy, chicken pizza, butcher counter meats and

• 37:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:54Speaker 04

  the in-store bakery spooky treats, Rob.

• 37:56Speaker 03

  Sounds delicious, Josh.

• 37:57Speaker 04

  And kids costumes from just eight quid.

• 37:59Speaker 03

  That is terrifyingly good value. Tell me about the treats, Josh.

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• 38:12Speaker 03

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• 38:18Speaker 04

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• 38:57Speaker 05

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• 39:30Speaker 04

  And she is starting to form her own career. How's that as a parent to watch that happen?

• 39:36Speaker 05

  You just have to, because I kept her off social media for a long time as well. And then they get to an age where they start to ask you about that. And now she's got very popular TikTok and she goes to musical theater school and she auditions a little bit. But she's, I have to make sure that I don't put my two cents in. So she'll like read lines with me sometimes.

• 39:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:59Speaker 05

  Though I'm mostly fired from that, but if she really has to do an audition, she'll let me be the other person. And I can't like give it anything. I have to just be like, yes. And then I went to the store because if I start giving notes or like putting on an accent, I'm out. I'm fired. Yeah. So I'm really hands off. Actually, I don't involve myself at all. I'm trying to be cool.

• 40:18Speaker 04

  How would you feel if she said, I'm gonna do stand up?

• 40:21Speaker 05

  I think, I mean, I don't know how someone does that now. We did it. We get to like go out to the clubs and how do you do stand up now if you're starting on TikTok, I guess?

• 40:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:31Speaker 05

  Yeah, I know I would love it. Whatever she wants to do.

• 40:34Speaker 03

  You still just have to go to the clubs and then build up because it doesn't matter if you get a following on TikTok. If you don't know how to do it, you've just got to learn.

• 40:40Speaker 04

  All right, grandad.

• 40:41Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 40:41Speaker 05

  But it must be harder to do the clubs for them.

• 40:44Speaker 03

  They're still clubs, aren't they?

• 40:45Speaker 05

  Yeah, I don't know.

• 40:46Speaker 03

  I'll go to a few.

• 40:47Speaker 04

  I don't know. It's so out of touch. It's bad, isn't it?

• 40:50Speaker 03

  No, it's not. If he was, you know, we need to be out of the way so the new lot can come through. You don't want to be stared gobbling up the stage time. Other people won't be able to learn.

• 40:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 40:58Speaker 03

  God, I'm a great guy.

• 41:01Speaker 03

  Shit, sometimes I just forget.

• 41:03Speaker 05

  You really have grown into a wonderful man.

• 41:08Speaker 04

  Wonderful or lazy? Which is it?

• 41:10Speaker 03

  Bit of both.

• 41:10Speaker 04

  Bit of both.

• 41:11Speaker 03

  No, good work-life balance, actually.

• 41:13Speaker 05

  Thanks to the listeners for giving Rob that opportunity to be lazy.

• 41:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, thanks guys.

• 41:17Speaker 05

  Really appreciates it.

• 41:18Speaker 04

  Do you want to ask about golf and Bobby?

• 41:20Speaker 03

  Well, yeah. How do you feel about, because I'm getting into golf. Bobby's obviously great at golf. We play. He's quite a lot.

• 41:24Speaker 05

  He's wonderful at golf.

• 41:26Speaker 03

  How often does he play?

• 41:27Speaker 05

  Well, he was playing about three times a week till I had material about that. And then he was like, I don't play three times a week. And then he had to cut it back so that I was wrong.

• 41:36Speaker 03

  Right. And how do you feel about him playing three times a week?

• 41:38Speaker 05

  I mean, I think it's, it takes a special kind of dickhead to have a five hour hobby, I think, with small kids.

• 41:43Speaker 03

  No, it's mad because that, you know, that is three whole days essentially.

• 41:47Speaker 05

  It is three whole days.

• 41:48Speaker 03

  Out of the week.

• 41:49Speaker 05

  Yeah. And, you know.

• 41:51Speaker 04

  How often do you play?

• 41:53Speaker 03

  I'll play once or twice a week probably, and I'll do it in the week when the kids are in school. I think that's key. I think weekend golf is a piss take if you've got kids.

• 42:02Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 42:02Speaker 03

  Unless, but if Luke goes, oh, the kids have got birthday parties, I'm going to Bluewater with them from like 11 till four. I will go, don't want me to do that. And she'll go, no, I'm gonna go because I'm meeting a friend for lunch. I'll then book it in.

• 42:14Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 42:14Speaker 03

  Because, but I wait for those opportunities.

• 42:16Speaker 04

  You're a great guy.

• 42:17Speaker 03

  God, I'm a fucking great guy.

• 42:18Speaker 04

  You're just a great guy.

• 42:20Speaker 05

  Like, truth be told, I don't know, I would let you guys golf as much as you wanted.

• 42:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:25Speaker 05

  And I would be home, home, home, home, home, cozy in my chair. I'd be booking the brunches. I'd be saving family money with some like fake charities. I would be, I think I'd be a great housewife.

• 42:38Speaker 04

  Do you?

• 42:38Speaker 03

  Is that the dream?

• 42:39Speaker 04

  Would you not be really bored?

• 42:41Speaker 05

  No, no.

• 42:42Speaker 04

  Because aren't you driven to do stuff?

• 42:44Speaker 05

  I would do stuff, but I, like, the mortgage wouldn't depend on me doing it.

• 42:48Speaker 04

  Right.

• 42:48Speaker 03

  Well, what's Bobby's job? But he doesn't work at the moment, does he?

• 42:51Speaker 05

  No.

• 42:52Speaker 03

  What was his job before he stopped working?

• 42:54Speaker 05

  He worked in, he worked, he was an account manager at like an engineering company.

• 42:58Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 42:58Speaker 05

  That, I don't know, I don't understand. You know what's so funny? My dad owns an engineering company and I don't know what it means. I don't know what Bobby's job was. I'm not interested in my dad or my husband.

• 43:10Speaker 03

  And then you do a bit less?

• 43:11Speaker 05

  Maybe. I think, I don't know if he wants to. And then he sold cars for a bit, which is cool. So he still likes cars. But then he was a professional American football player, but not in America, in Italy.

• 43:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:24Speaker 05

  So then they get very injured. So I think because he's come to this country, starting over here, would be like very difficult.

• 43:33Speaker 04

  Plus, it's that thing of, you know, without being crass, you can earn quite a lot quite quickly compared to what Bobby's.

• 43:40Speaker 03

  Starting in a new job.

• 43:41Speaker 05

  There you go.

• 43:41Speaker 03

  I mean, is there a massive demand for American football players in London that we've experienced with playing in Italy?

• 43:47Speaker 04

  It's getting bigger over here. It's getting bigger over here.

• 43:50Speaker 03

  It's a niche CV though, isn't it?

• 43:51Speaker 05

  Well, I'll tell you what, if he coached at the school, I think we'd get a little discount on the fees.

• 43:55Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 43:56Speaker 05

  I think we would.

• 43:57Speaker 03

  Going that way.

• 43:58Speaker 05

  But also, he does a little bit of broadcasting. We had a reality show for a while.

• 44:02Speaker 03

  Yes, I saw it, yeah.

• 44:03Speaker 05

  He's very good, actually. Bobby's very funny. He's a different kind of funny to you guys.

• 44:07Speaker 04

  Channel five NFL coverage.

• 44:10Speaker 05

  He's been on that.

• 44:10Speaker 04

  Oh, there we go. There we go.

• 44:13Speaker 05

  Bobby's very like.

• 44:14Speaker 04

  Dermot O'Leary's show on the Sunday night. Has he done that one?

• 44:17Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 44:18Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 44:18Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:19Speaker 04

  There we go.

• 44:20Speaker 05

  So Bobby's great. And I do love being married, but it's just like, it's weird. It's funny that I find it strange to raise kids with someone.

• 44:29Speaker 05

  It's like easier to do it by myself because he'll feed, I'll tell you this.

• 44:32Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 44:32Speaker 05

  To get your listeners riled up after a little lull in the program.

• 44:38Speaker 05

  He feeds them sausages, which I'm vehemently against.

• 44:41Speaker 03

  Why?

• 44:41Speaker 04

  Why?

• 44:42Speaker 05

  Because they're a group one carcinogen. It's basically like giving them cigarettes.

• 44:46Speaker 03

  Is it?

• 44:47Speaker 04

  Oh, God.

• 44:47Speaker 05

  I think so.

• 44:48Speaker 04

  Because of the, because of the way they're cooked or because of what's in them?

• 44:51Speaker 05

  What's in them.

• 44:51Speaker 03

  Right.

• 44:52Speaker 05

  And probably the way they're cooked is not great. Oh, God, he's got them out on the grill.

• 44:56Speaker 03

  I put them in my mouth roaring like the end.

• 45:01Speaker 03

  So sausages?

• 45:02Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 45:03Speaker 03

  Bad?

• 45:03Speaker 05

  Feeds them sausages. He's very gentle parent.

• 45:07Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 45:07Speaker 05

  Which is fine. It's fine to a point, but they're at the age now where I would show them a bit more discipline, but I don't want to be the bad guy. So like neither one of us wants to be the bad guy.

• 45:17Speaker 03

  So you're joining in with his gentleness?

• 45:18Speaker 05

  Well, I'm not, but if, if I say no, but daddy's gonna say yes, what's the point of saying no? And because I'm kind of the daddy, because I go to work.

• 45:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:27Speaker 05

  He can't just be like the favorite. Usually like if a, if a mom stays home.

• 45:31Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 45:31Speaker 05

  Dad can be fun. Dad can swoop in and say yes, but then they do behave for mom. Because mom has to be a hard ass because she's at home, right?

• 45:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:40Speaker 05

  But Bobby is home with them, but he's the nice guy.

• 45:43Speaker 03

  Right. So that when you come back now, it's like, who's this person coming out being mean?

• 45:47Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 45:48Speaker 04

  And so what happens if, say, you're.

• 45:50Speaker 05

  Taking our sausages away.

• 45:52Speaker 03

  Hide the sausages, kids. She's coming.

• 45:54Speaker 05

  We've been playing too much hide the sausage in our house. That's how I got into this mess.

• 45:59Speaker 04

  So when you're on tour.

• 46:00Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 46:01Speaker 04

  Does it become bedlam?

• 46:03Speaker 05

  Well, I don't tour the same way. Like I don't go for days, so I'm back and forth and back and forth. I'm very like climate unfriendly.

• 46:11Speaker 04

  Rob's got an idea for his tour, haven't you? Because you don't want to do a traditional tour.

• 46:14Speaker 03

  Matinee man.

• 46:16Speaker 05

  Can I tell you thank you for the matinees? Who's been doing matinees? Did you start that? Or did Jason Manford do some matinees?

• 46:22Speaker 03

  Well, a lot of people do do matinees, but I really.

• 46:24Speaker 04

  They are coming, they didn't used to exist in stand up like five years ago.

• 46:27Speaker 03

  Since Covid. They're great. The crowd love it.

• 46:30Speaker 05

  Do it.

• 46:31Speaker 04

  I think they're better in the evening.

• 46:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, especially for our, you know, we're not the young rock and roll comics, are we?

• 46:37Speaker 04

  Oh, God, bloody hell, grandad. What's going through your head today? You're obsessed with not being young.

• 46:41Speaker 03

  I'm not, I'm accepting.

• 46:44Speaker 05

  And you're really, really talking about something. Did you see the viral clip of Jamie Lee Curtis talking about matinees? She was like, Neil Young, do a matinee. Coldplay, do a matinee. 2pm, New York theater time. I will be there. Because we cannot.

• 46:59Speaker 03

  Did she say my name as well?

• 47:01Speaker 05

  Rob Beckett, matinee.

• 47:03Speaker 04

  Well, you wouldn't need to because you do do matinees.

• 47:04Speaker 03

  I do it already. Thank you, Rob Beckett.

• 47:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, thank you, Rob Beckett.

• 47:07Speaker 03

  Neil Young, Rob Beckett.

• 47:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:08Speaker 05

  No, thank you.

• 47:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think matinees is the way forward.

• 47:10Speaker 05

  From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

• 47:12Speaker 04

  Yeah. What day would you, but the problem with matinees is you can't do weekdays.

• 47:15Speaker 03

  Friday you can. No one works anymore.

• 47:18Speaker 05

  A lot of people are flexible and working from home.

• 47:20Speaker 03

  You know, when AI comes in, if no one's working, come and set a show.

• 47:23Speaker 04

  Can't afford it.

• 47:23Speaker 05

  There you go. They'll be on OnlyFans earning cash.

• 47:26Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, of course. Talk to me about your skincare regime.

• 47:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:29Speaker 04

  It's so good. So I've started seeing a skin specialist.

• 47:33Speaker 05

  Have you?

• 47:34Speaker 03

  But I think the difference is I think you, you're having treatment to your skin.

• 47:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:37Speaker 03

  Catherine buys new sets.

• 47:39Speaker 05

  Yeah, I just get new skin.

• 47:40Speaker 04

  New skin?

• 47:41Speaker 05

  I'm running a pyramid scheme. Basically, I'm doing vampire facials with placenta blood from the children that I harvest. I'm drinking my own breast milk. This is what's been going on right in front of us all the time. So basically, guys, in 2024, all these 35 year old actresses started looking amazing. Did you notice that?

• 48:00Speaker 03

  Scarlett Johansson?

• 48:02Speaker 04

  She's a bit older than 35.

• 48:03Speaker 05

  Like, I would say, not to say I have any information, I don't know who's had a facelift and who hasn't.

• 48:08Speaker 03

  I loved her in Jurassic Park.

• 48:09Speaker 05

  But like Anne Hathaway, Lindsay Lohan.

• 48:11Speaker 03

  Looked great. Yes.

• 48:12Speaker 05

  Christina Aguilera.

• 48:13Speaker 04

  I just presumed Lindsay Lohan, to be fair, had made some lifestyle changes.

• 48:17Speaker 05

  And that is playing the long game.

• 48:18Speaker 04

  Right.

• 48:19Speaker 05

  It is so good to be like, well, I just got clean and I should have thought of that one.

• 48:23Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 48:24Speaker 05

  And then I could have lied about my facelift. But I, I've realized these women were not doing ice baths or whatever it is.

• 48:30Speaker 04

  No.

• 48:30Speaker 05

  Do you know when like the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunamis happened? All these elephants screamed and ran for higher ground.

• 48:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:38Speaker 05

  That's like me, but with facelifts. It's like my sixth sense. Like, I know, I know when something's happening.

• 48:45Speaker 04

  Oh, the elephants predicted the.

• 48:46Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 48:47Speaker 04

  Oh, wow.

• 48:48Speaker 03

  Also madly, they'd probably be able to survive it. Just trunk up, walk through.

• 48:51Speaker 05

  Yeah, there's no need to.

• 48:52Speaker 03

  Have anyone there, the last people on the mountain.

• 48:54Speaker 04

  They can just hunker down quite solidly.

• 48:56Speaker 03

  Trunk up, like a little snorkel.

• 49:02Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 49:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:03Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 49:04Speaker 05

  So I kind of thought.

• 49:04Speaker 04

  Give me a bit of room on the mountain, Nelly. Come on, mate.

• 49:07Speaker 05

  So then, I just thought, well, what's going on? Because this is when I was pregnant all the time, my neck was just like getting fat. And I thought, I think I'm gonna need a facelift. I think I'm gonna need to do this. So I did that.

• 49:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:19Speaker 05

  Um, but in addition to that, my skincare routine is basically just, I've stayed out of the sun my whole life.

• 49:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:25Speaker 05

  And, I don't know, it's, it's, you don't want.

• 49:28Speaker 03

  We do, let's break it down.

• 49:29Speaker 05

  Stayed out of the sun.

• 49:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, we got.

• 49:32Speaker 05

  Pathological sun avoidance.

• 49:33Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 49:33Speaker 05

  For life. Also, my face is always like very moisturized and clean. I use like an acid at night, either like an azelaic or like retinoid.

• 49:41Speaker 03

  Tatcha.

• 49:42Speaker 05

  Acid. I love tatcha. Do a little vitamin C sometimes. But right now, and this is part of me like pulling it back, implants.

• 49:50Speaker 03

  Gone.

• 49:51Speaker 05

  In the bin.

• 49:51Speaker 03

  Fashion tits.

• 49:52Speaker 05

  Neck, gone, fashion tits. But no botox or fillers. I haven't had botox or fillers in ages and ages.

• 49:58Speaker 04

  Oh, there we go.

• 49:59Speaker 05

  So your skin has like, you have skin quality and skin elasticity. So the quality of my skin has always been all right.

• 50:05Speaker 03

  Because of the sun mainly, you think?

• 50:07Speaker 05

  Yeah, and then the elasticity.

• 50:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's been getting a little hoist.

• 50:11Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 50:12Speaker 03

  Got you.

• 50:12Speaker 04

  Here we go.

• 50:13Speaker 03

  So faces, that does all that as well? Not just neck?

• 50:15Speaker 05

  Hmm, up to like here.

• 50:17Speaker 03

  Ah.

• 50:17Speaker 05

  But I kind of wanna.

• 50:18Speaker 04

  Would you, Rob?

• 50:19Speaker 03

  I think, the way my mouth is, I need a little bit of character around the edges.

• 50:24Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 50:25Speaker 03

  If everything else was stationary and then that was on the go, it's too much attention.

• 50:29Speaker 04

  Glasses have done you a real favour.

• 50:30Speaker 03

  Glasses and a beard's got me out of a big, big old.

• 50:33Speaker 05

  Beards are so great for men.

• 50:34Speaker 03

  They are great.

• 50:35Speaker 04

  I wish I could grow one.

• 50:36Speaker 05

  Any bone structure you want.

• 50:37Speaker 03

  You can grow a beard. You can look good with stubble.

• 50:39Speaker 04

  No, it's patchy.

• 50:40Speaker 03

  No, it's not.

• 50:41Speaker 04

  It is. It is really patchy.

• 50:43Speaker 05

  I like that you're doing the strictly facial treatments now, though. That's exciting.

• 50:46Speaker 04

  This was pretty strict, it's because someone made a comment about how pink my face was.

• 50:49Speaker 05

  Who?

• 50:50Speaker 04

  Um, not a harsh comment.

• 50:52Speaker 03

  Michael, Michael did.

• 50:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, we were.

• 50:54Speaker 03

  No, he said, we're struggling to grade the videos. If you wanna make the leap to video, sort that fucking head out. And I said that's a bit much, Michael.

• 51:04Speaker 04

  And Michael said, look, tell that to your bank account, we're not getting the clicks.

• 51:08Speaker 03

  We can't get any more adverts because it looks like you're lying because you're so red.

• 51:14Speaker 05

  You guys have beautiful skin.

• 51:16Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 51:17Speaker 05

  You do.

• 51:17Speaker 04

  Shall we have the final question, Rob?

• 51:19Speaker 03

  I think we've asked you this before, but.

• 51:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, we've asked it so many times. Shall we just plug the book again?

• 51:24Speaker 03

  Firstborn daughter, available.

• 51:26Speaker 04

  When?

• 51:27Speaker 05

  October 22nd as an audiobook.

• 51:29Speaker 04

  Oh, you're going late.

• 51:30Speaker 05

  Hard copy, yeah.

• 51:32Speaker 04

  You're hitting them late for the Christmas run.

• 51:34Speaker 05

  That's it.

• 51:35Speaker 03

  It's a great Christmas present.

• 51:36Speaker 05

  You can self diagnose.

• 51:38Speaker 04

  Do you know what?

• 51:39Speaker 05

  You can understand your wife.

• 51:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 51:41Speaker 05

  Understand the firstborn daughter of your life. Or you could just listen to it as a comedy memoir, because that's mostly what it is.

• 51:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, brilliant.

• 51:46Speaker 04

  Oh. What are you gonna do in your office?

• 51:48Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 51:49Speaker 05

  Well, right now I'm decorating it like really beautiful, beautifully. And I'm gonna start filming the podcast in there.

• 51:55Speaker 03

  Good idea.

• 51:55Speaker 05

  Look at this.

• 51:57Speaker 03

  Look at this.

• 51:57Speaker 05

  Wonderful. It's, I'm kind of firstborn daughtering. My podcast, I produce it, I cut it, I publish it. I feel that's why it's so shit.

• 52:04Speaker 03

  Do you cut it as well?

• 52:04Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 52:09Speaker 05

  And I'm gonna keep doing that.

• 52:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:10Speaker 05

  They're like, would you wanna hire someone gathered? No, no, no. Now I'm also a landlord of my office.

• 52:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:15Speaker 05

  So I'm just gonna start doing it more shit at a higher level of shit.

• 52:20Speaker 04

  That's what we said.

• 52:21Speaker 03

  We want more. I want more of your shit.

• 52:22Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 52:23Speaker 04

  That's, although we did have to get my skin done.

• 52:26Speaker 03

  Was it? No, your skin was great, but if you, you look good. But if you wanted a bit less red, how do they make it less red?

• 52:31Speaker 05

  Well, you could. Makeup, like just put makeup on.

• 52:34Speaker 03

  Have you, has it got?

• 52:35Speaker 04

  I'm makeup free.

• 52:36Speaker 03

  He's having a gun on his head.

• 52:37Speaker 04

  This is my makeup free selfie.

• 52:38Speaker 05

  You look gorgeous.

• 52:39Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 52:40Speaker 03

  He has a bit of a glow up?

• 52:41Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 52:41Speaker 03

  Yeah. He's got a little sexy grin.

• 52:43Speaker 04

  So have you.

• 52:44Speaker 03

  No, mine's, I'm sort of plateauing. But I need to get on it again.

• 52:47Speaker 05

  I wouldn't say that, Rob. You guys, Cat Daddy was enjoying you guys as a visual medium.

• 52:52Speaker 03

  Was he?

• 52:53Speaker 05

  Oh, yes.

• 52:53Speaker 03

  I bet he was.

• 52:54Speaker 04

  Yeah. Oh, Cat Daddy. Hi, Cat Daddy. Rar.

• 53:00Speaker 04

  Anyway, we're done? Do you wanna do that down the barrel?

• 53:04Speaker 03

  Well, that, well, how many paws have cats like got three in it?

• 53:08Speaker 05

  Three or four.

• 53:10Speaker 03

  You like it, don't you?

• 53:12Speaker 04

  Firstborn daughter.

• 53:13Speaker 03

  Enjoying this?

• 53:14Speaker 04

  November the, October the 22nd.

• 53:16Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm.

• 53:17Speaker 04

  October the 22nd.

• 53:17Speaker 03

  Thanks for coming on.

• 53:18Speaker 05

  Thanks, guys.

• 53:19Speaker 03

  Loved it.

• 53:19Speaker 04

  Bye.

• 53:19Speaker 05

  Thank you for having me on.

• 53:20Speaker 04

  A joy.

• 53:24Speaker 03

  I've got a question from Catherine.

• 53:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, it's too late now.

• 53:28Speaker 03

  Oh, is this, oh, was this the outro?

• 53:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:30Speaker 03

  Great chat, wasn't it?

• 53:31Speaker 04

  It was really good, wasn't it?

• 53:32Speaker 03

  Really a good chat. Really enjoyed that. Good laughs, learnt a lot. She's funny, she's great.

• 53:37Speaker 04

  She's got a book out?

• 53:37Speaker 03

  She's got a book out.

• 53:38Speaker 04

  Read it, buy it. Don't read it without buying it.

• 53:41Speaker 03

  Nah.

• 53:41Speaker 04

  Don't just go into your bookshop and stand there and read it for eight or nine hours.

• 53:45Speaker 03

  Nah. You could though.

• 53:47Speaker 04

  You could.

• 53:53Speaker 01

  From the studio that brought you WandaVision.

• 53:55Speaker 02

  I was an Avenger, but I'm not a hero anymore.

• 54:01Speaker 01

  The Vision returns for the final chapter of the groundbreaking trilogy. That family wasn't real. You sure about that? I had a father called Vision. How is this possible? Don't miss the two-episode premiere of Marvel Television's Vision Quest. Nothing bonds a family together quite like Mortal Jeopardy. Now streaming, only on Disney+.

• 54:23Speaker 01

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