S13 EP27: I get coarse when I'm tired

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• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:00Speaker 02

  This episode is presented by Tuie.

• 1:02Speaker 03

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  Oh, you've got to love it. Who wouldn't love it, Rob?

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• 1:46Speaker 02

  Atol and Abta protected.

• 1:51Speaker 03

  Hello. You're listening to Parenting Hell with.

• 1:53Speaker 02

  Theo, can you say Rob Beckett?

• 1:56Speaker 04

  No, I'm Beckett.

• 1:58Speaker 02

  And can you say Josh Whittaker?

• 2:01Speaker 04

  No, I'm Whittaker.

• 2:03Speaker 02

  Well done, Theo. There you go, Rob.

• 2:05Speaker 03

  There you go. Josh, I'm having some technical issues here.

• 2:08Speaker 02

  Why?

• 2:09Speaker 03

  Normally on my other computer, I right click and can pin your little picture, but I can't. How do you right click on a Mac?

• 2:17Speaker 02

  You hold down control or is it shift?

• 2:21Speaker 03

  Here we go. Here we go. My friend in the media strikes again.

• 2:25Speaker 02

  Too right.

• 2:26Speaker 03

  Eight months of the Guardian.

• 2:27Speaker 02

  Where are you?

• 2:29Speaker 03

  Where am I? Can I be honest? I don't actually know.

• 2:32Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 2:33Speaker 03

  I'm in a hotel. I don't actually, I couldn't tell you where I am right this second without doing Google Maps.

• 2:38Speaker 02

  Traitors again. You're not back on traitors, are you? This is Theo, aged 36 months from Bristol. We have recorded this in the depths of potty training. Longtime listener. Fun fact, Josh once stayed in my house.

• 2:52Speaker 03

  Oh, what?

• 2:53Speaker 02

  In Bedminster, Bristol, 2009, having needed a place to stay after he gigged at a comedy night called Oppo. Yes, when my housemate, Jared, was the compere, Jared Hardy. Do you remember Jared Hardy, Rob?

• 3:05Speaker 03

  No, I don't think I gigged with him, but I won a big deal in the West Country like you.

• 3:08Speaker 02

  Well, I.

• 3:09Speaker 03

  I wasn't moving and shaking around the mean streets of Bristol.

• 3:12Speaker 02

  Too right. The big three.

• 3:13Speaker 03

  On the crescent.

• 3:14Speaker 02

  Oh, Rob, I'd be doing Oppo a lot of Sundays. Loved Jared Hardy. He ran it. He kind of took it over from Mark Olver and he ran it with Finn Taylor and Matt Ewens.

• 3:25Speaker 03

  What's, what's Oppo mean?

• 3:27Speaker 02

  It's just the name of the comedy night. I don't know why it was called that. Big fan of both Josh and Rob. I listen to the podcast every week. My wife, Heather, and I are also big fans of Josh and Strickly. Stay sexy and relatable. Adam, 478 months.

• 3:41Speaker 03

  Get on, Adam. Big bad Adam.

• 3:43Speaker 02

  Now, once Jared Hardy's flatmate is 478 months, that's when you know you're old. That is the first sign you're old. I feel old.

• 3:53Speaker 03

  Do you?

• 3:53Speaker 02

  Then he, I'm not 478 months.

• 3:56Speaker 03

  You're a young buck.

• 3:57Speaker 02

  He must be about the same age as me and I was much older than Jared. Anyway, maybe he was an older person living with young students.

• 4:03Speaker 03

  No, maybe you're just two old men that lured back a young promoter to a random house in Bristol when you had power in the situation and privilege due to being the main headline act.

• 4:13Speaker 02

  I can tell you now, in 2009.

• 4:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:16Speaker 02

  I was not headlining. I had no power in the situation.

• 4:19Speaker 03

  No? Okay.

• 4:20Speaker 02

  I would have been doing the tennis box.

• 4:22Speaker 03

  Opening up your arse sheiks on the sofa.

• 4:25Speaker 02

  Oh, that's a shame.

• 4:27Speaker 03

  I'm tired. I've gone in heavy. I do that.

• 4:28Speaker 02

  You've gone in heavy. You do do that, don't you?

• 4:30Speaker 03

  Yeah. When I'm a bit tired, I go in heavy.

• 4:33Speaker 02

  You get coarse when you're tired.

• 4:35Speaker 03

  Horse. Of course. I'm a bit of horse as well, actually.

• 4:38Speaker 02

  So tell me, tell me.

• 4:40Speaker 03

  Well, I know the name of the hotel brand.

• 4:43Speaker 02

  Melmaison.

• 4:44Speaker 03

  No, no, no, I'm not going to say what it is because I'm about to fucking rip it to pieces.

• 4:47Speaker 02

  Okay. Are you in Manchester?

• 4:50Speaker 03

  No, no. So I'll tell you my movements. I am in my new world of trying to be at home more and present. I'm doing all my work in one period and then having a buffer, completely full buffer. So I'll go no buffer for a few days to full, complete buffer.

• 5:07Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 5:08Speaker 03

  You know, unlimited buffet buffer.

• 5:09Speaker 02

  So how many days of buffer free life you, how many days?

• 5:13Speaker 03

  Monday, we did podcasts, didn't we?

• 5:15Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 5:16Speaker 03

  And then I went up to London to do Never Mind the Buzzcocks.

• 5:19Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 5:20Speaker 03

  Stayed overnight. The next day, travelled up to Manchester to do eight out of ten cats has countdown. That finished at quarters to 12 last night.

• 5:27Speaker 02

  It does. Yeah.

• 5:28Speaker 03

  So of course, it's the best time to do maths, I find.

• 5:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:31Speaker 03

  Five hours back to back, quarter to 12 finish. To be fair, you can't really do daytime records because there's a lot of rehearsing that goes into all the mad, there's so many mad set pieces.

• 5:42Speaker 02

  Of course, of course.

• 5:43Speaker 03

  So funny last night. So anyway, did that. That finished at quarter to 12. So then I jumped in a taxi and then drove, well, I got in at 3am.

• 5:54Speaker 02

  You're not back on your Coventry industrial estate. You're home from home, are you?

• 5:57Speaker 03

  No, no, no. We are, I'm at a hotel. Do you know what? The hotel looks amazing. I walked through all the facilities and it looked.

• 6:04Speaker 02

  Not really from where I'm looking.

• 6:06Speaker 03

  Well, this is what I'm going to get to. I've got to my room and it feels like my last days on earth at the shittest old people's home that's ever existed. There's just nothing in there. There's no coffee. I've not had a coffee. There's not even any, any instant coffee.

• 6:20Speaker 02

  Where are you geographically and why aren't you at home?

• 6:23Speaker 03

  Because tonight I've got to do filming again.

• 6:25Speaker 02

  Where?

• 6:26Speaker 03

  At a studio and I'm not telling you what it is. So let's not go down this route.

• 6:30Speaker 02

  What's going on?

• 6:31Speaker 03

  Well, at the moment, I'm not near anywhere that says a town in big letters on.

• 6:35Speaker 02

  So you've stopped halfway?

• 6:37Speaker 03

  No, but I needed somewhere with good internet because I had to do this.

• 6:40Speaker 02

  You can't get good internet in London, to be fair.

• 6:42Speaker 03

  But I didn't want to, if I carried on to London, that can creep into a four, five ammer and then it's 10am, we're starting this. And I was like, right, if I do that, at least I can, because I haven't got to be there till tonight.

• 6:52Speaker 02

  Is your studio in London? I know you've been coy about where your studio is.

• 6:56Speaker 03

  No, my studio is not in London. Anyway, so I'm a little bit wavy. I haven't had a coffee. Difficult. And the hotel is an absolute piece of shit, but I think I'm in the old room, to be fair.

• 7:06Speaker 02

  So you do this till 12 and then what do you do?

• 7:08Speaker 03

  I'm getting picked up at three. So I've got late checkout. So a few options, just stare at the ceiling, maybe go for a walk. Haven't really packed my clothes. No, well, I might go.

• 7:19Speaker 02

  You not want to go down for breakfast?

• 7:21Speaker 03

  No, because I was exhausted and I slept till half nine and then had to set up my little home studio.

• 7:27Speaker 02

  Oh my God.

• 7:27Speaker 03

  And I, I think at this stage of tiredness, I don't think I can go and have breakfast with couples in bath, dressing robes, about to go for a spa day.

• 7:40Speaker 02

  Oh, is it a spa hotel?

• 7:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:42Speaker 02

  Why, you have a lovely massage?

• 7:43Speaker 03

  Well, I, I mean, it's quarter past 10 now.

• 7:46Speaker 02

  Go down and say, can I have a lovely massage at 1pm?

• 7:48Speaker 03

  Can I? Well, at the moment, I can't have a fucking lovely cup of instant coffee. So I mean, it's.

• 7:53Speaker 02

  Can I have a Nescafe and a lovely massage, please?

• 7:55Speaker 03

  I might like lovely massage, but I doubt they'll have availability. I might go for a walk, but it's pissing down with rain. And when I left London, it was, I don't know what's going on with the weather at the moment. I don't know when this is going out.

• 8:05Speaker 02

  I don't know if this is some bad observational, but there's never, there's never room for a massage when you try and book on the day, is there?

• 8:12Speaker 03

  No, no, they're back to back.

• 8:14Speaker 02

  Well, quite literally.

• 8:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go on, back to hand. So we're doing a sort of thing at the moment where it's autumn between about 6am and 10am and then it's peak summer.

• 8:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:27Speaker 03

  Till about four and then it's freezing again. So I left my house.

• 8:30Speaker 02

  It was raining this morning. I got rained on.

• 8:32Speaker 03

  It's not helping.

• 8:34Speaker 02

  Well, you did choose it.

• 8:35Speaker 03

  Oh, back was against the wall, unfortunately. Ideally, face down on a massage table, but it was the only option.

• 8:43Speaker 03

  It was a very, well, there was someone else who was gonna go, but then they cancelled last minute. So we end up here, we fight on, we podcast another day.

• 8:51Speaker 02

  And how much have you got to do tonight?

• 8:53Speaker 03

  So, yeah, I've got a bit of work tonight and then.

• 8:55Speaker 02

  You must be knackered.

• 8:57Speaker 03

  I am quite tired actually, but just this little bit of talking just revved me up.

• 9:01Speaker 02

  Cause those eight out of 10 cats does countdown records. I've only ever done a single one, a double one is brutal.

• 9:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:09Speaker 02

  A single one's pretty tough.

• 9:10Speaker 03

  No, it was, that was good, that was, it was, I'm tired, it was actually really fun.

• 9:14Speaker 02

  I don't, I don't, I mean, they're fun, but they are.

• 9:16Speaker 03

  No, but no, sometimes they're not always fun. Let's, let's, let's be a hundred percent honest about everyone's lives here. But last night was really fun. So I feel a bit tired, but that bit excited tired after going to a really fun night out or a wedding.

• 9:29Speaker 02

  What did you do in the car?

• 9:31Speaker 03

  Well, this is my problem in the car, Josh.

• 9:33Speaker 02

  You a car sleeper?

• 9:34Speaker 03

  I am, I've got a great phone life balance, as we've discussed in detail, I'm not gonna go into that again. However, when I'm in a car, I am scrolling hard. The thumb is in full doom scroll mode and I am hammering it for hours.

• 9:48Speaker 02

  Well, maybe you need to do your family, family.

• 9:51Speaker 03

  True, maybe I need to bring my family phone so that when I'm in a car alone for four hours through the night, I can really just lock in on that.

• 9:57Speaker 02

  You could watch a film or something, but it might steer you to do something more worthwhile with your.

• 10:01Speaker 03

  I do, yeah, I should just try and sleep really. I slept for a little bit, but um, I got out and had a wee at services, that was a highlight.

• 10:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, I've got a development in my, you know, my sleeping in the car situation when I got home the other night.

• 10:15Speaker 03

  Yes, you're sleeping in the car, so you're good at that.

• 10:17Speaker 02

  Do you remember? No, but when I had to sleep outside my house in the car.

• 10:20Speaker 03

  Oh, yes, yes.

• 10:21Speaker 02

  You know, I found the um, the AirPod.

• 10:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:26Speaker 02

  So I was looking at it. I don't know if I did drop it where it was. It's got teeth marks all over it.

• 10:33Speaker 03

  Oh, so do you think he fell out the car and a fox chewed it for a bit and then moved it about?

• 10:37Speaker 02

  Look, I wonder whether I can get this.

• 10:40Speaker 03

  And you're still using that in your ears?

• 10:41Speaker 02

  But I was doing what else to do?

• 10:43Speaker 03

  Oh, you're gonna get rabies, rabies, it's Scammy's ear.

• 10:45Speaker 02

  I'm not gonna get rabies.

• 10:47Speaker 03

  You said you're feeling a bit under the weather, you got rabies? Can you get rabies from your ear? Michael, can you Google, can you get rabies from the ear?

• 10:54Speaker 02

  Have I got ear rabies?

• 10:56Speaker 03

  Are you sending it to me?

• 10:56Speaker 02

  It's coming now.

• 10:58Speaker 03

  I mean, oh yeah, that's definitely, something's chewed that.

• 11:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, I've had, I've got.

• 11:01Speaker 03

  By the way, Josh, excellent photo.

• 11:03Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 11:04Speaker 03

  Put that on your photography Insta.

• 11:07Speaker 03

  You just can really.

• 11:07Speaker 02

  Well, this is the Apple, this is the Apple iPhone.

• 11:11Speaker 03

  Camera.

• 11:12Speaker 02

  Camera.

• 11:12Speaker 03

  Have you sent um, David's iPod case back yet?

• 11:18Speaker 02

  No.

• 11:20Speaker 03

  You've been a very busy boy.

• 11:21Speaker 02

  Might do that after this, I might do that after this.

• 11:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, yeah, cool. What are you doing? So you're, you're cause you're.

• 11:26Speaker 02

  So tired, I'm so tired.

• 11:28Speaker 03

  You're back down to London, obviously for Strictly, but you went up to London again for other shows.

• 11:32Speaker 02

  I filmed a show on Monday night.

• 11:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:34Speaker 02

  So I had to go up Monday after the podcast, yeah.

• 11:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:38Speaker 02

  Filmed a show Monday night and then I had a, not an office run through, but not a full blown pilot, that kind of situation.

• 11:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, okay. Well, you're trying to put pilot a new idea.

• 11:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, I'm not, but I was involved in it, yeah. But like, I was asked to do it, so I sat, so we did a kind of run through for some commissioners and then I got the train back. So I haven't had a effing moment.

• 12:02Speaker 03

  No, so and then that was yesterday afternoon, you come back?

• 12:04Speaker 02

  I got back at quarter past nine in the evening.

• 12:07Speaker 03

  Ah, that's a shame. Now you're back doing this.

• 12:09Speaker 02

  Now I'm back to this.

• 12:10Speaker 03

  You got the afternoon off?

• 12:11Speaker 02

  I've got a strictly Zoom script read through.

• 12:15Speaker 03

  Right, and then, and then tomorrow you're back down to London?

• 12:17Speaker 02

  I've got a haircut in London.

• 12:19Speaker 03

  You have your haircut a lot, don't you?

• 12:21Speaker 02

  I do, yeah. I have really fast growing, I don't wanna brag, but I've got quite fast growing hair.

• 12:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, absolutely, yeah. Well, don't brag away, just be confident in what you got, it's fine.

• 12:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, I, it's, people comment on it. You've never, but other people have commented that I have fast growing hair.

• 12:38Speaker 03

  Really, that you grow so quick?

• 12:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:41Speaker 03

  Right, so you got your haircut and then?

• 12:42Speaker 02

  I'm an, I'm an every six weeks guy.

• 12:44Speaker 03

  Are you having any time off next week in the week?

• 12:48Speaker 02

  Oh man, so I've got it takes two tomorrow.

• 12:50Speaker 03

  I'm worried about your diary, I'm worried about your diary, Josh.

• 12:53Speaker 02

  So I've got podcasts on Monday, we seem to just be podcasting every moment of, I, why are we doing so many podcasts? What's going on?

• 13:01Speaker 03

  Now, Josh, I, look, I ain't gonna defend Michael here.

• 13:04Speaker 02

  No, I know, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not saying we're not, but what's happened, why is?

• 13:08Speaker 03

  Half term's coming up.

• 13:09Speaker 02

  Right.

• 13:10Speaker 03

  So we're not available as much because of the kids are off. I'd say, Josh, you give Michael, we give Michael about three hours on a Monday morning.

• 13:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:19Speaker 03

  Consider the, how much time we give to other things.

• 13:22Speaker 02

  I know, yeah, no, but we just seem to.

• 13:25Speaker 03

  You know, is that fair, Michael? Do you feel like you've been stood up for there?

• 13:28Speaker 05

  Yeah, I appreciate that. I mean, I didn't, I didn't feel attacked anyway, but I appreciate you, you stepping in.

• 13:33Speaker 03

  No, but I was saying, if, if anyone's forensically looking at Josh's diary, I don't think the podcast is the problem.

• 13:38Speaker 02

  But I'd say, I'd say, Michael, I'd say, Michael himself would be going, God, we're podcasting a lot at the moment. I don't think my.

• 13:45Speaker 05

  We're podcasting a lot at the moment, yeah, yeah, definitely. This morning, I went, oh, fucking hell. We do, there is three weeks coming up where we're not recording any parenting.

• 13:56Speaker 03

  Three weeks, three weeks.

• 13:57Speaker 05

  That's why.

• 13:58Speaker 02

  Right, yeah, God, yeah, we were. I don't think Michael, I, I, in his defence, Michael's not going, oh, yes, please, more parenting hell, because I don't have enough fit in my life, I wanna do a bit more. Like, I think all three of us, like, we love the podcast.

• 14:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:17Speaker 02

  But.

• 14:18Speaker 03

  Is she breaking up with us because you're on Strictly now?

• 14:20Speaker 02

  No, no, this isn't, no, what I would say, and I think I speak for all of us.

• 14:24Speaker 03

  Go on.

• 14:25Speaker 02

  We're doing the bare minimum.

• 14:26Speaker 03

  What, on the podcast?

• 14:27Speaker 02

  Amount of hours.

• 14:29Speaker 03

  What, oh, what, to film it?

• 14:31Speaker 02

  To, I don't think we're thinking, if Michael came to us, Rob, and he said, I wanna take things up a notch. I think if we make each podcast record an hour and a half and then edit it down to the same length, it'll be better.

• 14:46Speaker 03

  I don't think it'll be better, but I would say though, when we say we're not, we're not, we're doing bare minimum, we have started a new podcast and flown to Stockholm to talk about podcasts. I'd say that we've, we've upped it slightly.

• 14:56Speaker 02

  We have upped it slightly, yeah.

• 14:57Speaker 05

  I would also like to say, to the untrained eye, to the untrained eye, it looks like we're doing the bare minimum. But in the same way, if you watch Lionel Messi on the pitch now, it looks like he's not moving or running much.

• 15:09Speaker 02

  Save it for Monday.

• 15:10Speaker 05

  Standing of the comedic space.

• 15:12Speaker 02

  Oh, there you go.

• 15:13Speaker 05

  It's just efficient, we know what we're doing. And waste a single minute.

• 15:17Speaker 03

  Okay, we are not wasting money on writing rooms for all that back to back, back massage pun stuff. That's coming in.

• 15:24Speaker 05

  I can, I can put some people in the background to laugh all your jokes if you want.

• 15:28Speaker 02

  Oh my God, yes, please.

• 15:32Speaker 02

  Maybe also if they're moving, my light won't keep turning off. Oh God, I'm so tired.

• 15:38Speaker 03

  Look, I'm actually, I'm actually feeling all right now. I feel like you're getting, you're pumping me up, lads. Um, so you got, let's talk about your done, next Monday.

• 15:45Speaker 02

  This, again.

• 15:47Speaker 03

  Podcast, and have you got a few days off before Strictly again?

• 15:50Speaker 02

  I've got Tuesday off.

• 15:51Speaker 03

  Lovely, perfect.

• 15:53Speaker 02

  Then Last Leg's back.

• 15:54Speaker 03

  Excellent, great news.

• 15:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:56Speaker 03

  And that, do you know what that'll do is?

• 15:58Speaker 02

  Chill me out.

• 15:59Speaker 03

  That'll chill you out and um, give you a bit more energy.

• 16:02Speaker 02

  Exactly. It's an autumn of the big three, Last Leg, Strictly and the podcast.

• 16:07Speaker 03

  You've got this, Josh.

• 16:08Speaker 02

  I've got it.

• 16:08Speaker 03

  But you don't go up to London any earlier from doing Last Leg?

• 16:11Speaker 02

  No.

• 16:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, so that's good. Um, yeah, I've got some, uh, I've got some plans as well, actually.

• 16:17Speaker 02

  Go on.

• 16:18Speaker 03

  I am planning a road trip to Belgium and what's it fucking called, Holland?

• 16:26Speaker 02

  Netherlands.

• 16:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, what's the deal with that?

• 16:28Speaker 02

  Tough with the old planning, isn't it, when you don't know where you're going?

• 16:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, what's the deal with?

• 16:32Speaker 02

  I don't know what the deal is with that.

• 16:34Speaker 03

  No, but I always forget.

• 16:35Speaker 02

  Because when I was a kid, they were interchangeable, you could either say Holland or Netherlands.

• 16:41Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 16:41Speaker 02

  But now it really is Netherlands.

• 16:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, so what, what, what, what's that about?

• 16:46Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 16:47Speaker 03

  No? Okay, right, because, yeah, I, I always get confused and then I go to say Amsterdam as sort of like a happy medium, you know what I mean? Like the middle one. Um, so I'm gonna go to Antwerp and I was Googling.

• 16:58Speaker 02

  Sorry, what?

• 16:59Speaker 03

  Antwerp, we're breaking up the journey to go to Antwerp on the way.

• 17:02Speaker 02

  This is family?

• 17:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm just going on my own.

• 17:05Speaker 02

  No, I thought, I, I thought it was gonna be like a football weekend or something when you said Holland and, oh, sorry, Netherlands.

• 17:11Speaker 03

  No, this is where they get lose away working, so I'm taking, I'm solo, I'm taking the kids solo on a European road trip.

• 17:17Speaker 02

  Driving?

• 17:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, I've been Googling underground car park heights for Antwerp.

• 17:23Speaker 02

  So, so how far is Antwerp from Kent?

• 17:26Speaker 03

  So, can an hour to Folkestone, half an hour in the tunnel and then uh, two, three hours?

• 17:32Speaker 02

  Right, and so what, why are you going to Antwerp?

• 17:34Speaker 03

  Just, um, we enjoyed driving around in the car, not getting on planes and just, you know, going wherever.

• 17:40Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no, no, I don't mean, why aren't you flying to Antwerp? I mean, why, why Antwerp? I don't know how else to phrase it.

• 17:50Speaker 03

  We wanted somewhere to break up the journey and the options are Bruges, Antwerp or Genoa.

• 17:55Speaker 02

  Bruges is lovely.

• 17:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, but Bruges is a bit like better for couples. Kids aren't bothered about Bruges, are they?

• 18:02Speaker 02

  No, not not in the same way they are about Antwerp.

• 18:08Speaker 03

  Well, Antwerp's got a zoo.

• 18:10Speaker 02

  Okay, yeah, fine.

• 18:11Speaker 03

  And also what's happened is there was a load of other places I really wanted to go, but they were all fully booked.

• 18:16Speaker 02

  What were they? Brussels.

• 18:18Speaker 03

  So there's like on the, no, there's the whole of Brussels. Now there's like a safari place called not Bergen or something like that.

• 18:24Speaker 02

  Oh, sorry. Sorry. Other places in Antwerp that you wanted to go.

• 18:28Speaker 03

  No, not in Antwerp, but around that region to break up the journey to Holland, Holland.

• 18:33Speaker 02

  Netherlands.

• 18:34Speaker 03

  Netherlands, yeah. Um, so.

• 18:35Speaker 02

  And why are you going to the Netherlands?

• 18:37Speaker 03

  Um, I was gonna go to that Efteling place if I can get any accommodation.

• 18:41Speaker 02

  What's that?

• 18:42Speaker 03

  It's a theme park place.

• 18:43Speaker 02

  All right.

• 18:44Speaker 03

  So, um, just something to do for a few, four or five days.

• 18:47Speaker 02

  So where's, where's Lou?

• 18:49Speaker 03

  A loser way working for a few nights, so I thought I'd take him away for the weekend.

• 18:53Speaker 02

  It's his half term.

• 18:55Speaker 03

  Yes, a little half term trip, but what I forgot about half term is it's his half term in Europe.

• 19:00Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. So Antwerp's gonna be fucking buzzing with kids.

• 19:03Speaker 03

  Oh, Antwerp's gonna be back to back. Oh, bloody hell, busy here, isn't it?

• 19:08Speaker 02

  Oh my God, it's like a crash Antwerp.

• 19:10Speaker 03

  But I, God, I want the big rush to Antwerp. It's like going down to Cornwall.

• 19:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly.

• 19:17Speaker 03

  On Radio Two, they always ring up, hello Sarah Cox, I'm off to Antwerp. Oh bloody hell, who ain't? I mean, I think Antwerp's gonna be fucking shit if I'm honest.

• 19:24Speaker 02

  Are you gonna go and watch Royal Antwerp? That's the team.

• 19:27Speaker 03

  I've looked, but no, what I was gonna do was, so basically originally, this is, I'll be honest. I was trying to find something to do with them and I worked backwards from Feyenoord were playing PSV Eindhoven on the Sunday.

• 19:39Speaker 02

  That's a big game as well.

• 19:40Speaker 03

  Huge game. So I was gonna take the kids to that. However, it does look quite aggressive.

• 19:45Speaker 02

  I think that might get a bit tasty. Yeah, I think Feyenoord are quite tasty.

• 19:49Speaker 03

  Yeah. And I thought, oh, I don't know if I want to take them to a derby. And then also, because it is half term and there's no accommodation, I ended up just booking. I, I had to book the hotels that weren't near the football for the kickoff of the football. So in the end, I just bin that off and I'm going another time. Yeah. So, so no football for me.

• 20:08Speaker 02

  It wouldn't have been brilliant taking an eight and a 10 year old to PSV versus Feyenoord, I think.

• 20:13Speaker 03

  No, I did. As I was looking at it, I thought, oh, I think.

• 20:16Speaker 02

  It might be a family enclosure.

• 20:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, maybe, but I just, it was a lot of, and I just thought they're not, they're not that bothered here.

• 20:22Speaker 02

  No.

• 20:22Speaker 03

  It's like a long way, you know, what did you do after? My dad took me to Feyenoord PSV.

• 20:26Speaker 02

  But then there's something for them, Antwerp, and there's something for you, you know, it's all for them.

• 20:30Speaker 03

  Well, Antwerp's, look, the reason I did Antwerp is Genoa looks a bit boring, just like as you, yeah. And then Bruges is pretty, but I think they'll get bored of looking at old shit. And then Antwerp's got a zoo and some sort of loads of chocolate museums and tasting places. And it's only a day. I'm not there for like two, I'm not doing two weeks all inclusive.

• 20:47Speaker 02

  No, fair enough. So how long are you gonna be in Antwerp?

• 20:50Speaker 03

  I, I, I'll be honest with you. In my head, I've romanticised this. I think it's gonna, it's probably gonna be a fucking ball ache and I'm basically just driving to another Luton. But everyone speaks Flemish.

• 21:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course, of course.

• 21:03Speaker 03

  Um, yeah, so I've got that, that'd be fun though, but like, we just quite like the little adventure of it.

• 21:06Speaker 02

  Yeah. I think that is fun. I, and do you know what? The kids will always remember that you took them to Antwerp in the October half term.

• 21:14Speaker 03

  My dad had a breakdown in half term and took us to Antwerp. Dad, why did we go to Antwerp? And I'll have to go, I don't know. I just thought it'd be fun and we can't even stay in the city centre because the car's too high. So we're having to stay on the Crown Plaza off the motorway.

• 21:27Speaker 02

  So what, what, what, you, you driving a mega bus to Antwerp? What's going on?

• 21:32Speaker 03

  I'm driving my VW Multivan slash Caravelle, my new car.

• 21:36Speaker 02

  What does that mean? Is that like a people carrier?

• 21:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's like a smaller Mercedes Vito.

• 21:42Speaker 02

  I don't, well, obviously I don't know what a Mercedes Vito is, Rob.

• 21:46Speaker 03

  Oh, you know, you little, you little, you little posh, rich, sport celeb. You have your little trotters up in there going to and from TV studios, mate.

• 21:54Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, I've been, I've been in enough Mercedes Vitos to sink a battleship, mate.

• 21:59Speaker 03

  Exactly. I've got those paparazzi photos of you falling into one of those.

• 22:03Speaker 02

  I love a Mercedes Vito.

• 22:05Speaker 03

  Do you? So you've changed your tune? Why don't you get one of them electric?

• 22:08Speaker 02

  I didn't know what it was. Cause I don't want to drive one. I want to be in the back of one.

• 22:13Speaker 03

  Well, I actually find driving more relaxing because I'm not on fucking TikTok.

• 22:21Speaker 03

  I could exhaust myself last night. I got in the car to drive, had more energy than me.

• 22:31Speaker 01

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• 23:08Speaker 01

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• 23:30Speaker 01

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• 24:01Speaker 02

  Do you just get in the car? I noticed you texted me at half 11, desperately, desperately hoping someone's up for some kind of engagement.

• 24:09Speaker 03

  Well, do you know who's always up? I've worked out for engagement. Catherine Ryan.

• 24:14Speaker 02

  Is she?

• 24:15Speaker 03

  Cause I text her about something, asking for, um, well, let me talk, talk you through my texts late at night, last night. So obviously I text everyone that was on the show. Hoping that they were on a long journey as well. I wanted to sort of either just discuss how it went or slag people off.

• 24:28Speaker 02

  You know how we've been talking for five hours? Do you want a bit more?

• 24:33Speaker 03

  I promise we don't have to do maths. Um, and I mess it, yeah. So Catherine Ryan said to me. Cause I, I sent her a message and I thought, oh, I've sent that bit late. But now I just think, I don't care. I think the rules of texting someone late don't exist.

• 24:46Speaker 02

  I don't think anyone can complain about a late text. Cause if you're being woken up by the sound of a text. A, get better at sleeping. B.

• 24:56Speaker 03

  Okay. Um, just turn your phone's sound off. It's mad.

• 24:59Speaker 02

  Just turn your phone's sound off. If one text is gonna wake you. A late text is fine.

• 25:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, phone calls mental, but I think late text is fine because everyone's, especially in our job, if you're texting people like that, I wouldn't probably text one of the school parents at 11. But like people in our job were always awake.

• 25:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, I, I, but I just wake up and I see the texts and you're like, fine.

• 25:18Speaker 03

  And she, she replied to me at 1am, Catherine. I texted her at quarter 12. She replied at 1am. I said, appreciate, uh. I went, are you still awake looking after all the children again? She went, yes, I've been up at least once every two hours for five years. You can text me anytime, day or night. I will guarantee you I reply within two hours.

• 25:36Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 25:37Speaker 03

  Brutal, isn't it?

• 25:38Speaker 02

  Yeah. Um, so you get in your car.

• 25:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:41Speaker 02

  Let's compare car journeys.

• 25:43Speaker 03

  Go on.

• 25:44Speaker 02

  Okay. So my car journey back from Strictly.

• 25:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:47Speaker 02

  I get half eight, because we have dominos at Strictly. They bring out dominos.

• 25:52Speaker 03

  So you have a dominoes in the back of a car?

• 25:54Speaker 02

  Well, I save mine till after.

• 25:55Speaker 03

  See, the thing is you can get into a rhythm because you're doing a lot of them. Another pun. No writers needed. We're just doing a mid sentence. We're fucking chucking punchlines in here in setups. Thank you.

• 26:06Speaker 02

  Exactly. Yeah.

• 26:08Speaker 03

  Anyway, so you're getting into a rhythm because you're doing it every week. Probably the same driver?

• 26:11Speaker 02

  Ah, yeah.

• 26:12Speaker 03

  So when y'all do cats, it's always at a random point and it's a lottery. The geezer last night, when we stopped at the services said, it's his first night. I went, what? For this company? She went, no, as a chauffeur.

• 26:25Speaker 03

  His first job was Manchester to Luton at midnight. That is a tough first shift, isn't it? You're not being eased in.

• 26:32Speaker 02

  I do worry about their tiredness, these late night drivers.

• 26:36Speaker 03

  Me too. So I always, it sounds creepy. So, cause I, my dad was a driver, right? And he always said, he always found it difficult to go to the toilet anywhere. Cause now I had toilets and it was late at night and you get tired. So when they dropped me at home, I don't really do it in a hotel. Cause I feel like if they needed the toilet, they'd just go into the hotel and say, can I use your toilet?

• 26:53Speaker 02

  You'd say, do you want to come in and use the toilet?

• 26:55Speaker 03

  I'd say, late at night, do you want to come in and use the toilet? Which feels a bit like the start of a H R email.

• 27:00Speaker 02

  I'd say, yeah, if your first day, you, you drop someone to a hotel in Luton and he invites you to come in and use the toilet.

• 27:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, that, no, so I wouldn't do it in a hotel, but in my own home I do. But then I feel like, is that a bit weird? But like, I, I can't, I feel bad. Like that, I feel like it's my dad. Yeah. Would have been needed a wee, so like come in and use the toilet. But I did it once the other day and normally they go, oh, do you mind? Cause they know it's a bit like much, a bit awkward. I go, look, now honestly, you've got a long drive. You know, cause they're only gonna piss on my garden anyway, aren't they? Let's face it.

• 27:29Speaker 02

  Well, my driver, um.

• 27:31Speaker 03

  Is this, are we still relatable?

• 27:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, I think it's fine. Cause I think being driven back from a, I mean, I don't think, I'm gonna say it.

• 27:40Speaker 03

  Go on.

• 27:40Speaker 02

  I don't think people are expecting you at midnight to get in your own car after late. I'll take a cut to court and drive back to Kent, are they?

• 27:48Speaker 03

  Don't know, maybe. But if my, my, my employer's offering it, I'm taking it.

• 27:53Speaker 02

  Michael.

• 27:53Speaker 03

  So I did it the other day when I come back and I says this geezer, do you need the toilet? And oh, yeah, come on, mate, that'd be great. So come in. I went, it's just through there. He's in there. He comes out, this is four A M. And he's, we've got one of those really deep northern voices who went, you got whippets? I'm like, yeah, do you wanna fucking keep it down though? Because I've also got fuck, a family sleeping upstairs.

• 28:15Speaker 03

  They're coming for a piss, not a bit of fucking observational chat on my pets.

• 28:20Speaker 03

  I said, yeah, you know, when someone's really loud and you want them to be quiet, but rather go, shut up, you're being too loud. I just sort of talk back at them quietly and hope they copy.

• 28:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course.

• 28:30Speaker 03

  And that's got to be the best, yeah, yeah, I do have a couple of whippets. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Call you, it's just this way out, mate. I'll do the, yeah, I'll do the door for you. All right, cheers mate. See you later. Yeah, bye, bye, mate. See you later.

• 28:42Speaker 02

  I don't, does Lou, I don't know if Lou knows, you know, that you're inviting men in to use the toilet. But imagine waking up to hearing his voice.

• 28:52Speaker 03

  She went, was you talking about whippets when you got in? I mean, well, I wasn't. I was responding in a quieter voice to chat about whippets. Um, so you're, you're talking through yours, cause I just get in the car and I've never really planned it properly. If I'm planning properly, I've got my iPad with me and I've downloaded something to watch on it. But last night I was just, my head was spinning and I, unfortunately just scrolled for ages, which is terrible.

• 29:15Speaker 02

  Can you not watch something on your phone?

• 29:17Speaker 03

  No, it's too small, but and I, and I'm, my fat hands on it, so it's too tempting to switch through. So on an iPad, I can sit and watch something. So that's quite, you know, but only on a motorway. If I'm through country lanes, it's game over. I'll be, I'll be sick.

• 29:30Speaker 02

  Oh, really? I can read in a car. People are always really impressed by that.

• 29:34Speaker 03

  Are they? They're really impressed by your reading and fast growing hair. Yeah, well. I actually haven't heard enough people talk about that. So maybe I should, I'll, I'll bring that up on my next interview about you. I loved doing the pod with him. I think he's doing great. He's such a nice guy. Have you ever seen him read in a car?

• 29:49Speaker 02

  He can read in a car and often his hair's longer by the time he gets there.

• 29:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:55Speaker 03

  So you're set up, you get, you've got half a Domino's pizza. What kind of pizza?

• 29:59Speaker 02

  With one dip, vegetarian.

• 30:01Speaker 03

  Vegetarian, one dip.

• 30:02Speaker 02

  One dip.

• 30:03Speaker 03

  I had Pizza Pilgrims the other day. That was good. I've, that's, that was, I've never had that before.

• 30:07Speaker 02

  I quite like Pizza Pilgrims.

• 30:08Speaker 03

  I still prefer Pizza Express, but I feel like.

• 30:11Speaker 02

  Do you remember when Lily Allen had to come off Instagram because she, um, slagged off Pizza Pilgrims?

• 30:16Speaker 03

  What did she say about it?

• 30:17Speaker 02

  She put up a picture of a really bad takeaway pizza that she'd been sent by Pizza Pilgrims.

• 30:23Speaker 03

  Right.

• 30:24Speaker 02

  She's like, this is dreadful or whatever, you know?

• 30:27Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 30:28Speaker 02

  And a lot of people outside of London didn't realise Pizza Pilgrims was a chain.

• 30:33Speaker 03

  I all thought she was just having a go at a small independent.

• 30:36Speaker 02

  So she was having a go at a small independent and absolutely waded in on her.

• 30:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, but if the pizza's shit, the pizza's shit if it's small or big.

• 30:44Speaker 02

  Well, let's get, well, look, she ended up having to come off Instagram because, cause too many people having go at her about Pizza Pilgrims.

• 30:52Speaker 03

  Well, I had a nice time. I had a nice time there.

• 30:55Speaker 02

  What's your favourite pizza?

• 30:57Speaker 03

  But chain or pizza?

• 30:58Speaker 02

  Like plates, like if I said.

• 31:01Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 31:02Speaker 02

  Cause I always feel, I'm, I'm sure we've covered this.

• 31:06Speaker 02

  I'm sure we've covered this. I always feel.

• 31:09Speaker 03

  Shall I what, Josh? We'll cover it again. Do you think the people on this morning say that? We've done breast cancer awareness once. Do we need to do it again?

• 31:17Speaker 02

  We've done what's going up on Albert Square.

• 31:20Speaker 03

  Look, I've got.

• 31:23Speaker 02

  Yes, it's summer. There will be different fashions. Fucking out.

• 31:29Speaker 03

  But Josh, people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

• 31:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:32Speaker 03

  All I'm saying is we're doing our best out here and I do want to discuss my favourite pizzas with you.

• 31:36Speaker 02

  Okay. Well, let me say, when I have a pizza, I really want it to be good. Because I see pizza.

• 31:43Speaker 03

  It's, yes, it's a treat. It can't, yeah.

• 31:45Speaker 02

  And if it's bad, it's so heartbreaking because you're like, I've wasted my pizza on a bad pizza.

• 31:51Speaker 03

  I, I, I was hungover the other day and I ordered a pizza and in the, from Domino's. And in the small print, I didn't read they had barbecue sauce instead of tomato sauce. And it arrived, I honestly put my head in my hands like I'd been fired from a 25 year career in finance. I was dead and I was in front of Lou and I didn't want to look too pathetic. And then she was like, oh, it's okay. You can have some. And I was just, if I was on my own, I'd have fucking head butted it and just launched it. I just was so angry. Who, what kind of sick, basic bitch tongue wants barbecue sauce on a pizza? You dirty, sugar guzzling bitches. It's disgusting.

• 32:32Speaker 03

  Barbecue sauce is shit. It's the worst sauce out of all the sauces. I hate it.

• 32:37Speaker 02

  I agree. I agree.

• 32:39Speaker 03

  Honestly, when I saw it and it was all brown and I tasted it and there was a tang, I was like. What's a bit of, what's that tomato? No, barbecue.

• 32:51Speaker 03

  Honestly, yeah, we might, cause I'm angry now. I'm angry now.

• 32:53Speaker 02

  How do you, I also, there's a similar situation at higher level chains or not even chains, individual, um, pizza places.

• 33:01Speaker 03

  There's people walking past your office and I just think, what are they talking about in their rooms?

• 33:08Speaker 03

  The full fucker trying to get a new business up and going and you're just kind of breaking pieces. Barely finishing a story because of me. So.

• 33:17Speaker 02

  The white pizza.

• 33:19Speaker 03

  Oh, come now.

• 33:20Speaker 02

  I could just, what are you doing?

• 33:23Speaker 03

  What is that?

• 33:24Speaker 02

  You can't be leaving that on the menu without extreme warnings.

• 33:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, I, you, like, cause when I was at Pizza Pilgrims, I actually said, I ordered a pizza and went, that's with a white base. You want that or tomato? If you have to say that, get rid. You don't order a burger and go, that come, that will come with a beef patty. Do you want me to remove that? But no, no one wants white pizza sauce. What is that? Is someone trying to impress people?

• 33:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, awful.

• 33:53Speaker 03

  Pizza Express is number one. Pizza Pilgrims, strong second. Franco Mancor, I didn't, I couldn't, I struggled with the sourdough base.

• 33:58Speaker 02

  Isn't Pizza Pilgrims a sourdough base?

• 34:01Speaker 03

  Couldn't tell you, but I like it. Best pizza is what I had in Bologna and they've got one in Napoli called Di Michelle.

• 34:06Speaker 02

  Do you know where the best place to get pizza is?

• 34:08Speaker 03

  Where's that?

• 34:09Speaker 02

  Antwerp.

• 34:13Speaker 03

  The food's gonna be so heavy and shit, isn't it?

• 34:16Speaker 02

  It'll be, no, I tell you what you need to get is.

• 34:19Speaker 03

  Oh, waffles.

• 34:20Speaker 02

  Frites and waffles.

• 34:21Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 34:21Speaker 02

  The kids will love it. It's chips. Chips is amazing.

• 34:24Speaker 03

  Twenty stone, absolutely fun. A big bowl of chips.

• 34:27Speaker 02

  Chocolate.

• 34:28Speaker 03

  Waffles, pancakes, chocolate.

• 34:30Speaker 02

  Yeah. And imagine if the kids are like, daddy, can we go back to Antwerp next half term? I, we loved Antwerp and then it becomes a family. You always.

• 34:40Speaker 03

  Would you do it every holiday? We go to Antwerp for a couple of weeks every October. Lovely place. All wrap up warm. Is it cold? Not really. It's actually weirdly hot and warm. We don't know what's over.

• 34:48Speaker 02

  We'll have a Christmas market yet. I bet the Belgians do Christmas market as well.

• 34:52Speaker 03

  They can't be banging out a Christmas market. I don't know if Antwerp is the home of Christmas market.

• 34:56Speaker 02

  I'm not anymore. Ever as the home of Christmas markets these days.

• 34:59Speaker 03

  What's your favourite pizzas? Well, Manchester's going mental for Christmas markets. Can't move.

• 35:03Speaker 02

  Manchester's Christmas market is out of control. And I say that as a former worker on it. Let's say that, as covered 17 times. I like Franco Mancor.

• 35:15Speaker 03

  Franco Mancor, really?

• 35:16Speaker 02

  Yeah. Number five, no anchovy with chilies, please.

• 35:19Speaker 03

  Oh, yes, let's, oh, yeah. There is a market yet. Sorry.

• 35:22Speaker 02

  Yeah. When does it start?

• 35:24Speaker 03

  Ah, I don't know. I'm not going to look, it's too soon. I'm mid-November. All right. So strictly on the way back, you have half a vegetarian pizza in the car waiting for you. Hot or cold?

• 35:32Speaker 02

  It's cold by then.

• 35:33Speaker 03

  Right, okay. So next week you can start kicking off.

• 35:36Speaker 02

  I, no.

• 35:37Speaker 03

  Three weeks in, you can start saying I want it all.

• 35:38Speaker 02

  No, no, no. I don't think, I think this is, I mean, I think heat in food is overrated.

• 35:46Speaker 03

  The heat in food is overrated?

• 35:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, I've not got as much of a problem with food going cold as other people do.

• 35:53Speaker 03

  Do you actually find hot food a bit over my, overwhelming?

• 35:56Speaker 02

  No, I like hot food. I like hot food.

• 35:58Speaker 03

  You like hot food. Okay, let's get that clear.

• 35:59Speaker 02

  But some people will be like, oh my God, this, you know, this food's gone cold. I just couldn't possibly, I'm, I'm fine with cold pizza.

• 36:09Speaker 03

  No, not cold pizza when you're in a restaurant, but if it's on the side and you know it's been left cold, I can eat that.

• 36:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:15Speaker 03

  What's the worst cold food?

• 36:17Speaker 02

  Um.

• 36:18Speaker 03

  Soup? You can't have that cold.

• 36:20Speaker 02

  You couldn't have that cold.

• 36:21Speaker 03

  A steak? You can't have that cold.

• 36:23Speaker 02

  Um, well, I've never, yeah. How about tea? I don't like tea cold.

• 36:26Speaker 03

  No iced tea for you, no?

• 36:28Speaker 02

  No. Yeah, the, the worst cold food, I mean, I would never eat, but I could even eat, say your children had left pasta, I could eat that cold.

• 36:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, okay.

• 36:38Speaker 02

  I could eat most things cold. There you go.

• 36:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, fair enough, fair enough.

• 36:43Speaker 02

  I don't think there's many foods I eat that I wouldn't eat cold.

• 36:46Speaker 03

  Okay, okay, yeah.

• 36:48Speaker 02

  I eat curry cold.

• 36:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, I'm not disagreeing at this point.

• 36:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:53Speaker 03

  I like having a spoon.

• 36:54Speaker 02

  I don't like toast cold.

• 36:57Speaker 03

  I do have a little cheeky cold spoonful of curry before I re-warm it up.

• 37:00Speaker 02

  Yes, so do I. I always do that and it's really good.

• 37:03Speaker 03

  But not rice, that's bad. Can you have cold rice?

• 37:05Speaker 02

  I, there's a very, there's a lot, there's a lot of heat, no pun intended, around.

• 37:12Speaker 03

  No rice is needed.

• 37:13Speaker 02

  Exactly, no rice is really needed.

• 37:16Speaker 03

  It's gonna enjoy this, feel like this conversation's simmering.

• 37:18Speaker 02

  The people who re-eat rice and whether it kills you. And I don't.

• 37:22Speaker 03

  No, I've got no idea what the rules are on that.

• 37:24Speaker 02

  It seems to be big rules that reheating rice is a real no-no.

• 37:29Speaker 03

  I just put it in for about nine minutes and hope for the best.

• 37:31Speaker 02

  But yeah, so I love reheating, I love, I'm actually one of those people that throws out the, I actually think the curry's better the day after. You know those people, I'm one of them.

• 37:43Speaker 03

  You're one of those guys. I think, yeah, only if, well, if you cook your own curry, it's definitely better the next day.

• 37:49Speaker 02

  I don't cook my own curry.

• 37:50Speaker 03

  No, okay.

• 37:52Speaker 02

  I, to be honest, Rob.

• 37:54Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 37:55Speaker 02

  I've got a bit overly, my, my sensitive constitution and stomach, I've got to the age where if I have an Indian takeaway, I feel hungover the next day.

• 38:04Speaker 03

  It's too much for your body.

• 38:05Speaker 02

  It's too much for my body to take.

• 38:07Speaker 03

  Have you ever looked into your body? Like, stuff really gets it going.

• 38:12Speaker 02

  I think.

• 38:13Speaker 03

  You said, yeah, you totally spoke about this, you overly react to stuff.

• 38:17Speaker 02

  I'm a super responder.

• 38:19Speaker 03

  You're a super, yeah, I forgot you did say this actually.

• 38:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:22Speaker 03

  Your hair's a super responder. You're like a shit X-Men, where something's going on, but it's not quite good enough for an outfit.

• 38:29Speaker 02

  I.

• 38:29Speaker 03

  You know what I mean? Or a name.

• 38:31Speaker 02

  But I live life strangely, because I don't come across like that. I experience everything quite extremely, I think.

• 38:38Speaker 03

  Really?

• 38:39Speaker 02

  I do think that. I think I experience things in a more extreme manner. Other people just have experiences and I really, they affect me.

• 38:47Speaker 03

  Really get in deep. Yeah, I don't, I don't think me and Michael have noticed that. That's me, Michael, at all.

• 38:54Speaker 03

  Michael?

• 38:55Speaker 05

  No comment.

• 38:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:58Speaker 03

  I think you feel something, you get very emotionally attached to whatever that emotion is.

• 39:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:03Speaker 03

  You know what I mean? You really feel it, like.

• 39:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:06Speaker 03

  You know, but that's, you're an emotional guy.

• 39:08Speaker 02

  I just enjoy life and hate it at the same time.

• 39:11Speaker 03

  That's what I was gonna say. I wouldn't say the enjoyment, emotion is the only, it's all emotions. So if you're sad, you're really sad.

• 39:18Speaker 02

  If I'm eating an Indian takeaway, it's really hitting me hard. Or if I'm having caffeine, it's really hitting me hard.

• 39:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, so you've just got to be careful with it.

• 39:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:33Speaker 01

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• 40:31Speaker 01

  This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Football has a play for just about everything. You can go deep, keep it on the ground, or draw up something nobody sees coming. And whether you want to run a flea flicker or the tush push, you need a plan to fit your unique situation. That's why State Farm takes the time to get to know you. So they can help personalize coverage for your life and budget. Now that's a solid game plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

• 41:03Speaker 03

  And what else is going on? Any other news?

• 41:04Speaker 02

  Well, um.

• 41:05Speaker 03

  I've missed three netball games from work, unfortunately.

• 41:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:10Speaker 03

  My kid, my kids aren't playing, I just like to go and watch. No, my kid, one of my, one of my daughters is in the netball team and I've missed three games.

• 41:17Speaker 02

  My kid, my daughter plays on Thursday afternoons and I just can't do that this, well, I, I, well, maybe I will be able to later on in the series, but currently I've got, I've had it takes two. So I am missing the games, but I like the home games, the away games in Devon.

• 41:32Speaker 03

  Oh, it's a long drive.

• 41:33Speaker 02

  They're a journey. They're a journey, Rob.

• 41:36Speaker 03

  What's the longest?

• 41:37Speaker 02

  You can be looking at 30 to 45 minutes to get there.

• 41:40Speaker 03

  Also as well, that is like proper, that's not sitting in traffic because it's London, that's like foot down on an A-road.

• 41:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I prefer that.

• 41:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, my own sense of miles, it's like.

• 41:49Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, you can be, you can be driving 20 miles to an away game.

• 41:56Speaker 03

  That's the thing, that's what the beautiful Devon, you've got the space.

• 41:59Speaker 02

  You've got the space, you've got the space to drive. When I drive to Plymouth, it's 50 minutes and it's 50 miles. Work that one out for yourself.

• 42:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:08Speaker 02

  Have a think about that.

• 42:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. Well, I, do you know how long it took me to drive from my house, which is technically London, but borders of Kent? My house to Shepherd's Bush, right?

• 42:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:21Speaker 03

  Guess how long that took to drive? And let me do the miles and that. So that's like just the other side of London, right? 23 miles, right? How long did it take me to drive 23 miles? 23 miles from my house to Shepherd's Bush.

• 42:32Speaker 02

  That should take an hour.

• 42:34Speaker 03

  Two hours and 15 minutes.

• 42:35Speaker 02

  It is on.

• 42:37Speaker 03

  I could have been in Antwerp.

• 42:41Speaker 02

  You wish.

• 42:43Speaker 03

  Do I? I know for a fact I'm gonna drive to Antwerp, check in the hotel, kids are gonna be going mental, and we sat on the edge of the bed on my own going, what the fuck have I done here? Why didn't I just do a couple of days at Bluewater and sat out? Part of the fun.

• 42:58Speaker 02

  So, Rob.

• 43:00Speaker 03

  Yeah?

• 43:00Speaker 02

  Why were you driving to Shepherd's Bush?

• 43:02Speaker 03

  Because I had a massive suitcase and I was gonna go and do, never mind the buzzcocks, and I was away for three days. So I had all my stuff, that's why. There's a helicopter flying over, I don't know if you can hear that.

• 43:12Speaker 02

  Two and a quarter hours.

• 43:14Speaker 03

  I know, I was just in that car, I was just like. And then like about nine minutes in, the driver started going like, oh, so do you do this journey much? And I was like, I can't lock in, I can't do two, I can't.

• 43:28Speaker 02

  Come on, mate.

• 43:29Speaker 03

  I can't do two hours and 15 minutes of chat.

• 43:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:31Speaker 03

  You know?

• 43:32Speaker 02

  And you're about to.

• 43:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, I've already invited you in, I've got your knob out and you've had a piss. Let's just, so I think there's a plane going over, I don't know if you can hear that.

• 43:39Speaker 02

  No, I can't, it's fine.

• 43:41Speaker 03

  Um, yeah, so what else is going on?

• 43:43Speaker 02

  Well, I should ask Michael, has he got any strong views on any of these things that we've discussed? Food heat.

• 43:49Speaker 05

  Uh, I, I know, I, I prefer my food to be warm, but I think in most instances.

• 43:55Speaker 02

  I wasn't saying I didn't prefer my food to be warm, just for the record.

• 43:58Speaker 05

  I wouldn't want like a cold pie, for instance.

• 44:01Speaker 02

  No, that's a good one.

• 44:02Speaker 03

  Terrible.

• 44:04Speaker 05

  Cold roast dinner, yeah.

• 44:06Speaker 02

  Do you know what I actually had last night and it didn't work at all?

• 44:09Speaker 03

  Come on.

• 44:09Speaker 02

  Rose has got a, like a cheese toastie for lunch, like a nice, from a deli. She hadn't finished it and it was on the side. Cold cheese toastie does not work.

• 44:20Speaker 03

  No, no, no, it's an insane decision. But give it a good go.

• 44:23Speaker 02

  Give it a good go, Rob. Do let us know. Cold for days.

• 44:32Speaker 03

  You can't.

• 44:33Speaker 02

  You can't.

• 44:34Speaker 03

  That can't be, that can't be a runner. Um, I was gonna say something else, but I forgot what it was.

• 44:38Speaker 02

  I've, see, I've barely seen my, because I've been away.

• 44:42Speaker 03

  Your kids.

• 44:43Speaker 02

  No, so tonight, Rob, do you know what I'm doing this evening with the kids?

• 44:47Speaker 03

  What's that?

• 44:47Speaker 02

  What I've really got into, this is some parenting.

• 44:50Speaker 03

  Go on.

• 44:51Speaker 02

  I like doing a big shop.

• 44:52Speaker 03

  Okay, online or in person?

• 44:54Speaker 02

  In person. I love it.

• 44:56Speaker 03

  But we've not done your full ju.

• 44:57Speaker 02

  No, with the kids.

• 44:59Speaker 03

  With the kids?

• 45:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, I love it.

• 45:02Speaker 03

  Really?

• 45:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, I love it.

• 45:04Speaker 03

  No, I quite like going on my own with a podcast and just flowing along.

• 45:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, obviously that's in a dream gig, but you can't do that.

• 45:11Speaker 03

  I thought you were saying you prefer it with the kids.

• 45:13Speaker 02

  Well, I do enjoy it with the kids. I'm already looking forward to it. We go, they get in the bug, in the basket thing, that, what is it called? The trolley, drive around.

• 45:22Speaker 03

  Seems like you're doing it a lot. You're really across it.

• 45:26Speaker 03

  The big basket with wheels, yeah, just a normal guy doing normal things, actually.

• 45:29Speaker 02

  Did it last week, doing it again this week. Can't wait. Because it feels really, when you've been away, doing like lots of intense stuff. It feels like really mundane family stuff to do. Do you know what I mean?

• 45:42Speaker 03

  Embrace the boring bits.

• 45:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, I love it. I can't wait.

• 45:46Speaker 03

  Um, what, so on the way back from Strictly, let me get, you have half a pizza and then do you go straight to sleep? What is your?

• 45:52Speaker 02

  No, probably half an hour of music.

• 45:56Speaker 03

  Can't get enough of it, can you? Full band in the car with you?

• 45:58Speaker 02

  Dave Arch.

• 45:59Speaker 03

  Dave Arch in the band?

• 46:01Speaker 02

  They are.

• 46:01Speaker 03

  Give me a bit of one of them with the old fingers.

• 46:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, music and book, music and book. And then when I get tired.

• 46:05Speaker 03

  Insane. Reading's mental. In the dark, you put the little light on.

• 46:11Speaker 02

  Put the little light on.

• 46:13Speaker 03

  Duvet?

• 46:14Speaker 02

  I haven't got a duvet.

• 46:16Speaker 03

  You're, you're building up the courage to get a duvet involved, aren't you?

• 46:19Speaker 02

  Well, I've got a duvet in my dressing room.

• 46:21Speaker 03

  So you've got to do, so your duvet stays in the dressing room all week?

• 46:24Speaker 02

  I can't take the duvet home because then.

• 46:27Speaker 03

  You've got to bring it back on the train.

• 46:28Speaker 02

  I'd have to bring it back on the train.

• 46:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, you can't have a duvet every, yeah, you're in a bit of a pickle here.

• 46:34Speaker 02

  So, yeah, so, yeah, because otherwise, if I was just getting a new duvet every week, I'd end up with 13 duvets at my house.

• 46:42Speaker 03

  Ironically, for a man with no bed.

• 46:44Speaker 02

  For a man with no bed. I slept in a bed last night.

• 46:47Speaker 03

  Wrong, hello? And then with your daughter?

• 46:49Speaker 02

  No, she was on, uh, the floor and so there was a spare bed in the other room and I just went in.

• 46:55Speaker 03

  So you're just now sleeping completely alone in a bed?

• 46:58Speaker 02

  Well, no, as of last night, I imagine she'll be back in the bed tonight.

• 47:02Speaker 03

  Right, okay. Well, why was she on the floor? Just because you weren't home when she went to bed?

• 47:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:06Speaker 03

  She didn't want to go into bed on her own?

• 47:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. So, um, so that's how I, and then I, I put music on and go to sleep. I have to have music on to get to sleep or a podcast.

• 47:16Speaker 03

  So do you have that on when you're in with the family?

• 47:19Speaker 02

  No, I have something called Sleep Train in the Rain, which we like.

• 47:23Speaker 03

  What's random?

• 47:23Speaker 02

  Do you want to hear?

• 47:29Speaker 03

  It's quite an intense rainstorm, that, isn't it?

• 47:33Speaker 02

  That's a train in the rain.

• 47:34Speaker 03

  There's a train, that's too much, a train. It sounds like someone getting waterboarded.

• 47:39Speaker 02

  And it goes, there's a car along.

• 47:42Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 47:44Speaker 02

  Oh, yes, please.

• 47:46Speaker 03

  Well, I sometimes put a podcast on to go to sleep.

• 47:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:49Speaker 03

  But then I wake up and sometimes, you know, like Spotify randomly suggests I have a podcast.

• 47:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:55Speaker 03

  And then like, so I put one on to go to sleep. And then when I woke up, I was listening to Mo Gilligan talking to, is it Otis from the Gadget Show?

• 48:06Speaker 03

  Honestly, I've never been so confused in my life. Like, I'd forgot about the Gadget Show.

• 48:12Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 48:12Speaker 03

  But then when they were talking about it, I thought, I love that show.

• 48:14Speaker 02

  Um, so sorry. What had you been listening to before?

• 48:18Speaker 03

  I don't know. Interview chatty stuff. Well, you know.

• 48:22Speaker 02

  Mo Gilligan talking.

• 48:23Speaker 03

  Mo Gilligan's a comedian. I've been listening to other comedians if they're.

• 48:26Speaker 02

  No, I've been trying to talk to you. You're reading Otis's Wikipedia, aren't you?

• 48:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, because, I mean, this could be a feature, best Wikipedia photo of famous people.

• 48:39Speaker 03

  Because they always use a random one that isn't licensed.

• 48:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course.

• 48:44Speaker 03

  Otis, I mean, yeah, please send in the best Wikipedia photo of famous people. Because it's not, it's not an approved headshot. I'm going to send this to you now. This, I mean, I didn't expect to be talking about this or seeing this today. But this is Otis at the 2011 Gadget Show Live.

• 48:58Speaker 02

  Ah, I am just finding it for myself.

• 49:01Speaker 03

  So he's got a leather jacket with fringed arms, a big grey wig, a white top and leather trousers and boots. I don't know who he's trying to be. Who do you reckon he is?

• 49:12Speaker 02

  I don't know. But I'd say the problem is.

• 49:16Speaker 03

  He was on Blind Date as well.

• 49:17Speaker 02

  Shortchanged, I know he was shortchanged.

• 49:21Speaker 02

  It was like a children's show about, it was like a children's version of Watch Dogs almost.

• 49:25Speaker 03

  He was speaking about the police interceptors.

• 49:28Speaker 02

  He did the police.

• 49:29Speaker 03

  Because that leaves to be a voiceover job.

• 49:31Speaker 02

  You, you know so much about him, Rob. You should start a newspaper about him. Do you know what you'd call it?

• 49:36Speaker 03

  Go on.

• 49:37Speaker 02

  The Otis Daily.

• 49:40Speaker 02

  Come on now.

• 49:41Speaker 03

  It's good, you know. Michael, maybe we should get some writers for a bit?

• 49:48Speaker 02

  Small business. Please let it be. Otis's Glassware Company.

• 49:53Speaker 03

  Now it's time for Small Business Shoutouts brought to you by Vista Print, your expert print partner to help bring your ideas to life.

• 49:59Speaker 02

  Instance, if you've got a small business, banners are a great way to make people know you are actually there. We're talking markets, events, pop-ups or shops, Rob, or dare I say it, when scaffolding gets in the way.

• 50:13Speaker 03

  Oh, lovely.

• 50:14Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 50:15Speaker 03

  Talking from experience? You got a scaffold up?

• 50:18Speaker 02

  We haven't got a scaffold up at the moment, but.

• 50:19Speaker 03

  Oh, okay.

• 50:20Speaker 02

  You know what? Our neighbours have.

• 50:22Speaker 03

  Oh, and how's that annoying?

• 50:24Speaker 02

  No, it's fine.

• 50:24Speaker 03

  Okay, good.

• 50:25Speaker 02

  I just noticed it when I walked past the other day. There's loads of scaffold in New York, isn't there? Why is that? There's a reason. Michael will know this.

• 50:33Speaker 03

  They have to every year do a safety, health, like, checks on it.

• 50:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, so New York is just constantly covered in scaffold. Do you want to hear one then, Rob? Shall I give you a small business shout out? Hi guys, love the pod. It got me through some tough days juggling parenting a one-year-old and a newborn. Fair play. My friend and I had babies at a similar time and though we love being mums, we started to feel like we wanted something for ourselves outside of motherhood too. So we took the plunge, started our own luxury soft play hire business, The Village Co. We just don't want to be, you know, our whole life is children, our motherhood. So we thought we'd start a soft play, Rob, just to get away from kids.

• 51:10Speaker 03

  Just so, you know, you know, really put a footmark down of something other than children.

• 51:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:14Speaker 03

  But to be fair, you see a gap in the market. Me and Lewis spoke about this. It's a great business model. You just buy the gear, have a van, turn up, Bosch, set it up.

• 51:23Speaker 02

  We provide luxury soft play for under fives, at birthday parties, garden parties, christenings, weddings and more.

• 51:30Speaker 03

  Well, so it's good for just a normal party that you think, oh, it's going to come, chuck it in the corner so they've got something to do so they don't annoy the adults.

• 51:37Speaker 02

  Exactly. We also offer personalised setups so customers can really make their little one's celebration their own. We're two mums building a business from the ground up and honestly, we never expected it to grow as quickly as it has. We absolutely love a small business shout out on the pod to help more local families discover us. Based in Hastings, covering East Sussex. Message us on Instagram at villageco.hire to book. Thanks so much, lads. Keep doing what you're doing. Emma and Emily.

• 52:04Speaker 03

  There you go. Oh, it looks very pretty. It's all like white and clean.

• 52:08Speaker 02

  It's luxury, it's luxury soft play, Rob.

• 52:11Speaker 03

  Normally it's red, isn't it? Red and blue.

• 52:13Speaker 02

  Exactly. Normally it's the primary colours, isn't it?

• 52:15Speaker 03

  They could do some banners. They could put banners on the white bits for people. That's probably what they do. Um, here we go. Hi Rob and Josh, I have a very tiny small business which me and my seven-year-old daughter started in the summer holidays. We make personalised character key rings, perfect for school bags and gifts. It started just us beading together as trying to find anything my neuro spicy child will sit still for is a challenge. Follow us on Instagram at Doty's Bead, Doty's Bead Box, D O T T I E S, Bead, B E A D Box. Thanks for keeping me company while I'm at work cleaning. I'm sure some of my clients think I'm losing the plot, laughing all the time. Tash and Doty.

• 52:53Speaker 02

  Vistaprint.co.uk, print your possible. To get 15% off your Vista Print order, visit vistaprint.co.uk, use the code parentinghell15.

• 53:02Speaker 03

  Oh, I just had a look at Doty's Bead Box. They've got all the, you know, like they've made these lovely key rings with like names on. You never guess the first one.

• 53:09Speaker 02

  What?

• 53:10Speaker 03

  I've just gone to Otis.

• 53:12Speaker 02

  Amazing.

• 53:12Speaker 03

  So close to Otis.

• 53:14Speaker 02

  So close.

• 53:15Speaker 03

  So close.

• 53:21Speaker 01

  This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Football has a play for just about everything. You can go deep, keep it on the ground, or draw up something nobody sees coming. And whether you want to run a flea flicker or the tush push, you need a plan to fit your unique situation. That's why State Farm takes the time to get to know you so they can help personalise coverage for your life and budget. Now that's a solid game plan. Like a good neighbour, State Farm is there.

• 53:50Speaker 01

  Whenever fall comes back around, it always feels like a fresh start. This year, I've been layering in some styles from the new Lululemon fall drop. Because the weather is shifting and I find I have to be ready for the entire day and not just one part of it. Lululemon's fall line has some really versatile transitional pieces. So I can just wake up, throw on a matching set, add a jacket or a fleece and head out, knowing that I'll feel comfortable enough to go wherever the day takes me. Check out the new fall arrivals in store and online now at lululemon.com.