S13 EP22: Nina Conti

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant actress, comedian, and ventriloquist - Nina Conti. You can watch Nina's directorial debut 'Sunlight - HERE Parenting Hell is available to watch on Spotify every Tuesday and Friday. Please subscribe and leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xxx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [email protected] Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [email protected] A 'Keep It Light Media' Production (Copyright 2026) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:30Speaker 02

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• 1:32Speaker 03

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• 2:16Speaker 02

  Atol and Abta protected.

• 2:21Speaker 03

  Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with...

• 2:23Speaker 04

  See, Josh Whittaker. Josh Whittaker. And Rob Beckett. And Rob Beckett.

• 2:33Speaker 02

  Good one.

• 2:33Speaker 03

  It's a good one, that, then.

• 2:34Speaker 04

  You want to sing?

• 2:35Speaker 02

  See how long it's left?

• 2:37Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. I'll never get to see it from here.

• 2:38Speaker 04

  Rob Beckett and Josh and Rob Beckett.

• 2:44Speaker 03

  Beckett, there we go.

• 2:45Speaker 02

  There we go.

• 2:46Speaker 03

  Who's that, Josh?

• 2:46Speaker 02

  Hi, Rob and Josh, that's Robyn, two and a half years old, 136 weeks. I'm sending take two after we stopped recording take one. She made up a little song based on your name, so I thought you'd enjoy it. We live on a boat in the Grand Union Canal. I'm from Cambridge. What the...

• 3:00Speaker 03

  I've just had a fanta and I'm sitting on an awkward... For the people watching, I've sat at an awkward angle. And I've had some sour creams and crisps, sorry. Sorry, kick on.

• 3:10Speaker 02

  I want a boat on the Grand Union Canal. I'm from Cambridge. If Rob is guessing today, from Jasmine, 1,889 weeks. Why are you sat like this, Rob?

• 3:19Speaker 03

  Because we've got a very special guest today, and this is appropriate.

• 3:22Speaker 02

  Yes, Nina Conti, who you might know as ventriloquist. Check out how we're sitting in the visualised form of this podcast.

• 3:28Speaker 03

  I'm being the monkey.

• 3:30Speaker 02

  Yes. Here's Nina Conti.

• 3:35Speaker 03

  Nina Conti, welcome to the show. Checking out the... We're on cameras, we're being filmed.

• 3:40Speaker 05

  Look at that, I can't though, I'm being so stupid. All I'll see when I turn is the back of my head.

• 3:44Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, don't look at the screen. You look at ours. Josh is distracting because he had his haircut. I didn't even notice your hair, it was just a bit, yeah.

• 3:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, just had my hair cut.

• 3:52Speaker 03

  So he's got hair on him.

• 3:53Speaker 05

  Good haircut. Are you happy?

• 3:54Speaker 02

  I am happy, yeah. I played with it too much when I've had it cut, so it looks bad. How are you?

• 3:58Speaker 05

  I'm happy.

• 3:59Speaker 03

  How far away does your hairdresser live from you?

• 4:01Speaker 05

  It's actually about 20 steps.

• 4:04Speaker 03

  Is it? Oh, wow, couldn't be more opposite.

• 4:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm 200 miles from my hairdresser.

• 4:08Speaker 05

  Are you?

• 4:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, because I've moved to Devon, but I've still got a hairdresser here.

• 4:13Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 4:13Speaker 03

  Have you spoke to the hairdresser about relocating?

• 4:16Speaker 02

  He... no, he wants to move to Tribetha.

• 4:19Speaker 03

  What about only halfway in Swindon?

• 4:20Speaker 05

  How often do you want a haircut?

• 4:22Speaker 02

  Six weeks, I think.

• 4:24Speaker 05

  Very frequent.

• 4:25Speaker 02

  Is that?

• 4:26Speaker 05

  I would say, I'm more like every four months.

• 4:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, but it's different for longer hair.

• 4:30Speaker 02

  But your hair's really good at the moment, so it's recent.

• 4:34Speaker 03

  At the moment, what you suggested.

• 4:35Speaker 02

  Well, what I mean is, I think it's been recent. You're not three months in.

• 4:38Speaker 03

  All right, okay, she's got three months in, I've got you.

• 4:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:40Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 4:41Speaker 02

  How many days since you had your haircut, Nina?

• 4:43Speaker 05

  I had it done in July.

• 4:45Speaker 02

  No. No, it's looking good for a month and a half.

• 4:49Speaker 05

  Oh, it doesn't take much.

• 4:51Speaker 02

  No.

• 4:54Speaker 03

  Well, welcome to the show, Nina.

• 4:55Speaker 05

  Thank you, thank you for having me. I have two, but one is no longer probably legally called a kid anymore. He's 22 and a 15-year-old.

• 5:05Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 5:06Speaker 02

  Is the 22 at home?

• 5:08Speaker 05

  No, the 22-year-old has moved out and he's in a flat with his girlfriend. Proper grown-up.

• 5:14Speaker 02

  God, that is a proper grown-up.

• 5:15Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 5:16Speaker 03

  Proper girl... How long have they been together?

• 5:19Speaker 05

  They've been together about three and a half years.

• 5:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, fair enough.

• 5:23Speaker 03

  Right, okay, cool. I thought it was going to be like three and a half weeks and then it was going to get tense because you would hate that. That's insane, but you wouldn't really want to talk about it on the podcast.

• 5:32Speaker 05

  No, no, she's very much part of the family and...

• 5:34Speaker 03

  Oh, that's nice, good.

• 5:35Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 5:36Speaker 02

  Do you like the extra time you've got now? Or do you look at old photos a week?

• 5:42Speaker 05

  Well, I still have a 15-year-old. I'm... I feel like I'm doing more... And I can't look at those photos because they hurt.

• 5:47Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 5:48Speaker 05

  Oh, they hurt.

• 5:50Speaker 03

  What ages that hurts the most, when you look at the photos?

• 5:52Speaker 05

  All of them, and I hate that my phone does that and just blindsides me in a normal day. And I go, oh, I miss... Why can't I have a quick chat with that guy, you know?

• 6:05Speaker 02

  Oh, God, that's going to be me.

• 6:06Speaker 05

  I just really... Sometimes I... I had a dream where I was outside the car and my 15-year-old was just like two and in the car seat. And I remember in the dream, which I guess is lucid dreaming because realising this is an opportunity to meet him again. And I've been wanting to see that guy again. And I opened the door and I went to lift him out and then it wasn't quite him. And it was like, then suddenly it was like that horrible spielberg. Like the changeling version, not this version, of course. How could I be so stupid to think I would get to meet him again? Of course it's not quite, you know? But I mean, that goes to show how deep it goes, that like yearning.

• 6:49Speaker 03

  Are you okay?

• 6:50Speaker 05

  Wait till your kids are just all about to leave and then like all of that just seems so halcyon.

• 6:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:57Speaker 05

  And I... but I mean, I totally...

• 6:58Speaker 02

  And when you were in it...

• 6:59Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 6:59Speaker 02

  Did it feel halcyon?

• 7:01Speaker 05

  When I was about to meet...

• 7:02Speaker 02

  When they were aged to...

• 7:04Speaker 03

  She's still in the dream.

• 7:05Speaker 05

  I am stuck in that dream. No, when I was in it, it was...

• 7:10Speaker 05

  It was... It was a mixture of glory and guilt and...

• 7:18Speaker 05

  Worry, extreme concern, you know? And, you know, it's very difficult to ever think you're doing a good job as a parent.

• 7:26Speaker 03

  Yes, that's the worst bit.

• 7:27Speaker 05

  That's what you must know and talk about a lot here. I mean, it's so difficult. And when the moments when you... When you feel like you've nailed it, I mean, they get like, they last about a minute before...

• 7:39Speaker 03

  So it crops up with like...

• 7:41Speaker 05

  Oh, the self-congratulation. That's the thing that screws you up. It's not about me. That's not... It's well on how good this... That means I'm bad because it's not about me.

• 7:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:54Speaker 03

  Well, we...

• 7:54Speaker 02

  It's like talking to a mirror here, Rob.

• 7:56Speaker 03

  You two have got a lot in common, don't you? Well, we had an online safety expert on recently and we were chatting to him and I was sort of going, yeah, because we've got these locks on, like the iPads for the kids, so they can't do that. At points felt a bit smug. Found out about two days ago that one of the iPads has had no security whatsoever and they've just had access to anything you want for about three months.

• 8:16Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 8:16Speaker 05

  And they, you know... Can you see their history?

• 8:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:19Speaker 05

  Is it that... wow. Or was it...

• 8:21Speaker 03

  It was nothing dodgy, but it was definitely...

• 8:23Speaker 02

  Not ideal.

• 8:24Speaker 03

  Not ideal and definitely was getting access to bits of YouTube, which I didn't think they should have access to, and they're not supposed to have.

• 8:31Speaker 02

  Your golf channel.

• 8:32Speaker 03

  My golf channel.

• 8:33Speaker 02

  She's addicted.

• 8:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, she's addicted to golf. But yeah, like I, we were a bit like, oh, yeah, it's good actually, because all the things the expert's saying, I've actually been doing, and it turns out I was doing none of them.

• 8:43Speaker 02

  But we're all failing.

• 8:44Speaker 05

  But you're doing it now, you're doing it. I've... I think my kids are actually in the worst era of that. Certainly the 15-year-old.

• 8:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:53Speaker 05

  Because we didn't know, we didn't have the controls on, we weren't on top of that.

• 8:57Speaker 02

  And it's too late now, isn't it?

• 8:58Speaker 05

  And then it gets a bit late. Well, no, I got a brick.

• 9:01Speaker 02

  You've got a brick?

• 9:02Speaker 05

  I got a brick now for the 15-year-old, yeah.

• 9:05Speaker 02

  So has the 15-year-old gone into that world and then retreated?

• 9:09Speaker 05

  Well, all that horrible, like manosphere stuff invaded his year when he was like 12, 13, well, actually 13, 14, like the most vulnerable time was when they really went for the looks-maxing and that was the age they were targeting.

• 9:26Speaker 03

  So like that adolescence for you was the exact age group and demographic for your boy?

• 9:33Speaker 05

  Exactly.

• 9:33Speaker 03

  That must have been a horrible watch.

• 9:34Speaker 05

  It was horrendous. And then, and they all started using these new terms, like mugging and chopped, and suddenly everyone was thinking about how they looked and everyone was in crisis about it.

• 9:46Speaker 02

  What is mugging and chopped? Sorry.

• 9:48Speaker 05

  I don't know, did I make up mugging? Dangerous sounding word. I think that, I think it all... I think they just sort of mean ugly.

• 9:58Speaker 02

  Right, right, right, right.

• 9:59Speaker 03

  I feel like this is the start of a new...

• 10:00Speaker 05

  God, can someone quit Google mugging?

• 10:02Speaker 03

  Mugging, Michael, can you Google mugging? And what was the other one? Chopped?

• 10:05Speaker 05

  Chopped is for real, I know chopped.

• 10:07Speaker 03

  Mugging.

• 10:08Speaker 02

  And so you were in that?

• 10:10Speaker 05

  I was in that and, and watched like the, the boys in that year go from like sweet kids to kind of eating each other alive in a sort of dog-eat-dog fashion of like, you know, fear and what everyone don't like. I mean, people terrified to have haircuts. We were talking about hair, like all that kind of thing because you're going to be chopped.

• 10:30Speaker 02

  So what did you do about it?

• 10:31Speaker 05

  I took extreme measures.

• 10:33Speaker 02

  Did you?

• 10:37Speaker 03

  Extreme measures.

• 10:38Speaker 02

  And they've worked out.

• 10:39Speaker 05

  Yeah, it kind of worked out. I just thought, well, I'm taking you out of this. This is nonsense.

• 10:42Speaker 03

  So with the brick.

• 10:43Speaker 05

  We went to America.

• 10:44Speaker 02

  You moved in?

• 10:45Speaker 05

  No, we came back, but like left.

• 10:48Speaker 03

  Oh, so you left the UK.

• 10:49Speaker 05

  I just went enough of this. This is nonsense. This is, you know, messing with your head. I'm taking you out. About six months.

• 10:56Speaker 03

  So you just went out of school, just went out of school.

• 10:57Speaker 05

  I just thought, well, listen, let's have a look. Yeah, this all seems like far too important. And this is the least important thing in the whole world. Let's go, let's go to Yosemite and climb. I mean, it's like a very first world solution. I'm aware.

• 11:11Speaker 03

  No, but that's amazing.

• 11:12Speaker 05

  Let's go climbing in Yosemite.

• 11:14Speaker 03

  But it doesn't have to, it could be different versions of that, but seeing the world and seeing there's a bigger picture here than this school group.

• 11:18Speaker 05

  Yeah, exactly.

• 11:19Speaker 03

  So just no teaching or like homeschooling.

• 11:21Speaker 05

  Little bit, little bit, a couple of things we did, like a couple of tutors and things.

• 11:26Speaker 02

  Amazing.

• 11:27Speaker 05

  It was, yeah, it was worthwhile.

• 11:28Speaker 03

  You saw a change as well then?

• 11:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:31Speaker 03

  In just what, not, just your child sort of just maybe seeing that there's a bigger world out there other than this small group that I'm almost forced to be in due to geography.

• 11:41Speaker 05

  I know, and it does seem like everything in the world. I mean, it is important when you're in it, school, and you're going every day.

• 11:48Speaker 03

  It's so not really once you get.

• 11:50Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's got to be.

• 11:51Speaker 02

  And that must have been an amazing bonding trip.

• 11:53Speaker 05

  It was a special kind of year actually in the end. Yeah.

• 11:56Speaker 03

  Oh, that's incredible.

• 11:57Speaker 05

  Yeah, it was good. I'm, I'm glad and, and things are good now, but I could just see how insidious that was to the whole year group. Like not just him.

• 12:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, everyone, because they were targeted by these

• 12:10Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 12:10Speaker 03

  like social media platforms and like accounts and.

• 12:15Speaker 05

  And they're talking about breaking their jaws and like, you know, just crazy stuff.

• 12:19Speaker 03

  What's the breaking the jaw stuff?

• 12:20Speaker 05

  God, to get a better jawline. You're meant to like break the bone and it will reset and get bigger and like all this stuff.

• 12:27Speaker 03

  And then obviously because they're young and they're grown, think, oh, that'll make me be this alpha male.

• 12:31Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 12:32Speaker 03

  Oh my God. So I can see why, like just extracting them from the situation.

• 12:36Speaker 05

  You just have to take it.

• 12:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's incredible.

• 12:38Speaker 02

  So do you feel better about YouTube stuff now, Ross?

• 12:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, you know, I'm not, I'm trying to teach people how to get out of a bloody sand trap. Not changing a jaw, jaw. But yeah, that's it. That's about it. It's mental.

• 12:50Speaker 05

  Yeah, I guess that was about three years ago or two.

• 12:54Speaker 03

  So when they were like 12, 13, that age group?

• 12:56Speaker 05

  Like 13, yeah.

• 12:56Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 12:57Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 12:58Speaker 03

  So, and oh, can I ask one thing about the brick? So does the whole family use the brick at night or weekends or is that?

• 13:03Speaker 05

  Um, I have one for myself. I'm thinking about going a month without. How about that?

• 13:09Speaker 02

  Oh, here we go.

• 13:10Speaker 03

  No phone at all?

• 13:11Speaker 05

  I'm thinking about October, no phone.

• 13:13Speaker 03

  But how will you contact the kids?

• 13:15Speaker 05

  I'll have a Nokia with no WhatsApp. I say I have to leave WhatsApp, which is an absolute pain.

• 13:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:21Speaker 05

  But once you want to involve WhatsApp, you have to have one that's got everything. It's two.

• 13:24Speaker 03

  A phone and a zip.

• 13:25Speaker 05

  So you've got to go basic.

• 13:26Speaker 03

  I'm a two phone guy.

• 13:28Speaker 05

  Are you?

• 13:28Speaker 03

  I've got a personal one and a work one, so that I've got no social media on it whatsoever. And all I've got on there is like the boring parking apps, my cards.

• 13:37Speaker 05

  Maps, yeah.

• 13:38Speaker 03

  And maps and stuff like that. And then I just have given that number to like people like my wife and mum and stuff.

• 13:43Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 13:44Speaker 03

  So that if I go out for the day, we got like, I just take that.

• 13:47Speaker 05

  It's good.

• 13:48Speaker 03

  And I'm not on the other stuff during the week, but.

• 13:50Speaker 05

  That's very good. Yeah.

• 13:51Speaker 03

  I think the Nokia is too extreme. It's like, I need maps.

• 13:53Speaker 05

  You know, I thought maybe I don't need maps.

• 13:56Speaker 03

  You need maps.

• 13:57Speaker 02

  Oh, that's, that's interesting.

• 13:58Speaker 03

  I think, I think you need map. I think.

• 14:00Speaker 05

  Well, I have a computer still.

• 14:01Speaker 02

  How do you travel around?

• 14:02Speaker 03

  I can't take your desktop in the car.

• 14:04Speaker 02

  No, but, no, but you, you were used to not need maps.

• 14:07Speaker 03

  You'll need, you need map. I'm sorry. Like you need a map.

• 14:10Speaker 05

  I went to France with my partner without a map, without a phone for five days. And I had a map.

• 14:19Speaker 03

  Driving around.

• 14:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, a paper map.

• 14:21Speaker 05

  Back in, I went back to the eighties. I mean.

• 14:24Speaker 03

  No, do you know what? I'd rather punch myself in the face and reset my jaw. I'd rather go full mog.

• 14:29Speaker 05

  I know.

• 14:30Speaker 02

  So talk to me about your paper map experience.

• 14:32Speaker 05

  What we did was we were, we drove to Dover with a Google and then we put the phones away. The rule was when we got to France, that was it.

• 14:40Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 14:41Speaker 05

  And then I, I sat in the passenger seat with this big one, which is so silly because sometimes, you know, it goes off the edge of a page and goes up to another page just for a little corner.

• 14:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course.

• 14:52Speaker 05

  And then you've got to go back to, it's, there's a lot of flapping.

• 14:54Speaker 02

  Do you know what? This is some great observational from the nineties.

• 15:01Speaker 02

  It's back.

• 15:02Speaker 05

  But the first night was Rouen. We just hit Rouen and then, so we found a parking garage by following P signs. And we got out the car and we started walking around, went to a hotel, it was full, walked around, like found another hotel and then asked them in the hotel. We stayed there, asked them where to eat, went there.

• 15:20Speaker 02

  Can you speak French? Cause.

• 15:21Speaker 05

  A little bit of French.

• 15:22Speaker 02

  You didn't, because you couldn't, you know, the things I would have done there obviously would be probably book the hotel on my phone.

• 15:28Speaker 05

  Yes, exactly.

• 15:29Speaker 02

  Translate everything on my phone.

• 15:31Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 15:32Speaker 02

  But you didn't have that.

• 15:33Speaker 05

  No.

• 15:33Speaker 02

  And did you feel, how much of this time did you spend talking about the fact you didn't have your phones?

• 15:38Speaker 03

  You must have felt really smug.

• 15:39Speaker 05

  It was very smug because there was quite a lot of it. Quite a lot of it. And the funny thing was also I used Apple Pay all the time.

• 15:46Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 15:46Speaker 05

  So I was using a credit card and it really felt like time travel, you know, putting that in the slot and it was hilarious.

• 15:54Speaker 03

  Cash, you go to cash, get some cash out?

• 15:56Speaker 05

  I didn't actually get much cash. No, no, don't need cash.

• 16:00Speaker 02

  And so.

• 16:00Speaker 03

  She had Franks.

• 16:05Speaker 02

  And so you're going to do it for October?

• 16:07Speaker 05

  So I thought maybe I'd do it for October. I mean, I'm not a woo woo kind of person, but I think that this is about reclaiming your time.

• 16:15Speaker 02

  Woo woo.

• 16:15Speaker 05

  I know, isn't it?

• 16:16Speaker 03

  No, but because also as well, like you worry about the kids, you know, like younger kids that are sort of having their minds taken over about what they think's expected of them from these targeted social media accounts. But then like older generations, like my mum and dad will be on their phone a lot.

• 16:31Speaker 05

  A lot.

• 16:32Speaker 03

  Paying Candy Crush or just like scrolling through Instagram, just like liking AI, thinking it's a real thing. So if you want to have a laugh, go and find older family members that are friends of Instagram and look what they've either on purpose or accidentally reposted. There's some absolute mental stuff my mum's doing.

• 16:51Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 16:51Speaker 02

  Can I ask you, because you're, you're doing Taskmaster at the moment?

• 16:54Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 16:54Speaker 02

  Or you've done it, but it's on at the moment. Uh, and you're paired with Izzy Sooty.

• 16:59Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 17:00Speaker 02

  She's a big anti-phoner, isn't she?

• 17:02Speaker 05

  Oh, wow.

• 17:03Speaker 02

  I was wondering whether she's got you.

• 17:05Speaker 05

  No, we didn't talk about it, but we did get on, so maybe we're in alignment. Yeah.

• 17:10Speaker 03

  She's not got a phone?

• 17:11Speaker 02

  No, she has, but she likes to.

• 17:13Speaker 03

  Telephone, she doesn't like it.

• 17:14Speaker 02

  She likes to be big. She's a big on the no phones before 16 or whatever it is.

• 17:18Speaker 05

  Oh, really? She got, well, that's gonna, that's gonna pay dividends for sure. It's a very good idea.

• 17:23Speaker 03

  So we were at no phones before secondary school house, but no social media until 16.

• 17:28Speaker 05

  Oh, it's so good. I'm so upset we missed that.

• 17:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, but you were the first, you, you, you were also the least.

• 17:33Speaker 02

  It's not your fault. It was not your fault. You just got unlucky with when you had children.

• 17:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, should have held out.

• 17:39Speaker 03

  And the 22 year old, they, they sort of missed that a little bit.

• 17:42Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's kind of different. It was different. I mean, big on YouTube.

• 17:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:47Speaker 05

  But less on social media. It was all about YouTube, I think. It was like watching gamers and live streaming.

• 17:53Speaker 03

  And all that kind of stuff was massive. And that was that sort of era breaking through.

• 17:57Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 17:57Speaker 03

  So.

• 17:58Speaker 05

  What I want to say though.

• 17:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:00Speaker 05

  Is that when you do go away to France without your phone for five days.

• 18:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, well done.

• 18:04Speaker 05

  You start to sense and feel like the flavour of the day. Like it's something hard to explain, but time is yours and it's just a bit like being alive.

• 18:20Speaker 03

  So, so I mean, because the problem I find sometimes.

• 18:23Speaker 02

  Do this. Maybe I need to do this, mate.

• 18:26Speaker 03

  Whatever, because I find sometimes you're on your phone, if you're on like a holiday, right, we're going to go here, we're going to go there. And then you go, if we're going there, let me look on the maps to find out where the best bar is. So you research, you research, you research. And you get there and you sort of, you're not really there because you're in your head, you're thinking, well, how to get to the next place? What we do in the next place?

• 18:39Speaker 05

  And is this, is actually, it looked a bit better. Half the time when you follow something on your phone, you get there and you're a little bit like, oh, it's not quite, I wouldn't give it five.

• 18:47Speaker 03

  But if you stumbled across it.

• 18:49Speaker 05

  But when you stumble, it's just about the same success rate.

• 18:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:53Speaker 05

  I think if you're following your nose and you're a bit more aware of it, you walk past the place and you go, that looks nice. And you sort of make a mental note. I don't know.

• 19:00Speaker 03

  Yeah. Do you feel like you're sort of a, a visitor from another time?

• 19:04Speaker 05

  You do.

• 19:05Speaker 03

  Like Nicholas Lindhurst in Good Night, Sweet.

• 19:10Speaker 05

  I wish I knew that reference.

• 19:12Speaker 02

  Do you not know that reference?

• 19:13Speaker 05

  I know Nicholas Lindhurst is.

• 19:15Speaker 03

  Do you know Goodnight Sweetheart, where he basically gets travelled back in time to wartime?

• 19:18Speaker 02

  It's a wild sitcom idea.

• 19:19Speaker 03

  It's amazing. You'll be better at the full pitch of this.

• 19:21Speaker 02

  So Nicholas Lindhurst, Rodney.

• 19:23Speaker 05

  Yeah, Rodney.

• 19:24Speaker 02

  So what were you doing in nineteen ninety six, maybe, when you weren't watching Goodnight Sweetheart?

• 19:29Speaker 03

  Because we were ten or eleven watching it.

• 19:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was thirteen.

• 19:31Speaker 05

  I was old. I was already like, I was doing a sort of subculture twenty four hour play.

• 19:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're not watching Goodnight Sweetheart. So Nicholas Lindhurst plays a guy from modern day Britain.

• 19:46Speaker 05

  Right.

• 19:46Speaker 02

  And he walks down an alleyway in East London and he's transported back to World War Two.

• 19:52Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 19:53Speaker 02

  London. And he basically lives two lives, one in modern Britain, one in East London during the Blitz. And.

• 20:02Speaker 05

  How does he combine them or does he keep them separate?

• 20:04Speaker 02

  He kind of moves from one to the other.

• 20:05Speaker 03

  In the classic, he has an affair.

• 20:07Speaker 02

  He has, he's shagging.

• 20:08Speaker 05

  In the olden times.

• 20:09Speaker 02

  He's shagging someone in the olden days and he's married in the news.

• 20:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:13Speaker 02

  Wow, exactly.

• 20:14Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 20:15Speaker 02

  It's quite a weird sitcom, actually, when you look back on it.

• 20:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, what weird?

• 20:18Speaker 02

  And yet you're meant to root for him, even though he's.

• 20:20Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 20:21Speaker 03

  Having it away in the Anderson shelter.

• 20:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:23Speaker 05

  Oh, wow.

• 20:24Speaker 02

  Now, promo works. I tell you why promo works. Because I didn't know about your film.

• 20:30Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 20:30Speaker 02

  Right? Until I was reading up on it for this. And now I'm like, this sounds incredible.

• 20:37Speaker 05

  Oh, thank you.

• 20:38Speaker 02

  And I'm gonna watch it tonight. I should have watched it yesterday, but I only found out what you're promoting this morning because I'm really disorganized.

• 20:43Speaker 03

  He's a mammal no buffer. He's getting his hair cut before.

• 20:46Speaker 02

  But it's also, it's part of the Nina Conti canon.

• 20:50Speaker 05

  Canon.

• 20:51Speaker 02

  It is because, right, people know you, probably, I'd say this is fair, primarily for your double act.

• 20:59Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 20:59Speaker 02

  With Monkey.

• 21:00Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 21:01Speaker 02

  Is that fair?

• 21:01Speaker 05

  Well, maybe they now know me for my face masks on people more.

• 21:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, face masks, of course.

• 21:08Speaker 05

  The forerunner now, but Monkey's like, been there for.

• 21:11Speaker 03

  The OG.

• 21:12Speaker 02

  The OG.

• 21:13Speaker 05

  It's five years now. Yeah.

• 21:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, so that was sort of like your Dyson Hoover.

• 21:18Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 21:18Speaker 03

  And now the face mask thing is almost like the.

• 21:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, right.

• 21:21Speaker 05

  The hand dryer.

• 21:22Speaker 02

  The elevator pitch of this is so good, and I'm gonna watch it because I've read a review that was so glowing.

• 21:29Speaker 05

  Oh, good.

• 21:29Speaker 02

  I've read the premise and I loved it.

• 21:31Speaker 05

  Oh, good.

• 21:32Speaker 02

  Talk me through it. Because I hate.

• 21:34Speaker 03

  You're getting awkward now.

• 21:35Speaker 05

  I'm getting nervous because I'm like, are you gonna fund it? It's already been made. I don't have to pitch it.

• 21:39Speaker 02

  Do you want me to talk through it even though you know more about it?

• 21:42Speaker 05

  Well, you could try.

• 21:43Speaker 03

  Josh, you pitch it to me and I'm the exec.

• 21:45Speaker 02

  Okay. So it's about a man and a woman who's in a monkey suit.

• 21:51Speaker 05

  Love story.

• 21:52Speaker 02

  Love story between them. Road trip. Well, this is what made me think about it because you've already spoken about two road trips. So you're road trip obsessed.

• 22:01Speaker 05

  Crazy. Yeah. But they go dig up a grave. It's a love story between a man and a woman. Doesn't want to come out of this monkey suit because of everything that's happened to her in the past. She wears one for work. She's safer in it. She speaks her mind in it. She's like, fuck it, I'm gonna keep this on.

• 22:17Speaker 03

  Okay, I can see why you've written this film.

• 22:19Speaker 05

  So I've gone full monkey. But it's kind of metaphor for what my life has been a bit like.

• 22:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, that's what I was thinking.

• 22:27Speaker 05

  Yeah, when the character becomes stronger than you. And he's like, I actually would rather be that guy. It's more truthful.

• 22:36Speaker 02

  Are you wearing Frank's eyeball?

• 22:38Speaker 05

  I am, but I still haven't seen the film and it felt adjacent, so I didn't want to watch it in the run up.

• 22:43Speaker 02

  Well, the film's fictional, but the story's really interesting because that is a situation where this guy basically is.

• 22:52Speaker 02

  Do you know Frank Sidebottom? He's got this big, big head.

• 22:54Speaker 05

  Very wide head.

• 22:56Speaker 02

  Very wide head. And the guy just was Frank Sidebottom, lived as Frank Sidebottom. But it's like a real life version of what you've lived. But you, what you've lived is real life, I should say.

• 23:11Speaker 05

  Well, I mean, I met the Star Wars creature department for this part I had on Star Wars that later got cut. And I met these guys who can make any creature from any galaxy and was like, can you make my little monkey like a full sized? Guy so that he walks into the room like Chewbacca, but he's there, you know?

• 23:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:33Speaker 05

  And that's what they did.

• 23:34Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 23:34Speaker 05

  And they did such a good job of it that when I got in it, I was like, oh my God, this is amazing. I like am him. And then I immediately like booked an hour of stand up at Soho Theatre, which I'd never done, you know.

• 23:48Speaker 02

  As just monkey?

• 23:49Speaker 05

  As monkey. So I shed Nina.

• 23:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:53Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 23:53Speaker 05

  And then I was like, I can do stand up. That's so funny. I mean, it's such a convoluted way, but you know, like ever since I started, I sort of felt like slightly a lesser comedian than everyone else. Because I was like cheating with this funny little monkey. I don't know. I felt like a special back in the day. You know what I mean? And then I was like, see, I can do stand up if I wear a full.

• 24:15Speaker 02

  And was Monkey always your first, when you first stepped on stage as a stand up, was it you a monkey?

• 24:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 24:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, that was my first.

• 24:23Speaker 03

  And Monkey was your suit of armour to sort of say what you wanted to say, but have a monkey.

• 24:27Speaker 05

  And very soon he becomes like the uncensored truthful voice.

• 24:31Speaker 03

  See, I think I'm searching for a Nina.

• 24:34Speaker 05

  Oh, really?

• 24:35Speaker 02

  Are you then your monkey?

• 24:36Speaker 03

  I'm too monkey all the time.

• 24:37Speaker 05

  Yeah, right. No, you don't want a Nina. Why would you? Why do you want a Nina?

• 24:42Speaker 03

  I think Nina's great.

• 24:44Speaker 05

  Well, I thought Nina could go. That was my, I was ready.

• 24:50Speaker 03

  You had enough of Nina?

• 24:51Speaker 05

  I was ready. I was like, she's gotta go. Because it made me this like fawning sort of apologetic or sort of giggly.

• 25:00Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, because I could see.

• 25:02Speaker 05

  What are you? Go.

• 25:04Speaker 03

  Because you just wanted to go out and be monkey.

• 25:05Speaker 05

  Yeah, just go do that. And so, I mean, that was the, that was the kind of premise. I started working with Chanelle Allen. And so he was like a different version of Nina. Yeah, from Pajama Men. And we started doing gigs as Monkey and Roy, who became the characters in the film. They fall in love on this road trip in New Mexico.

• 25:23Speaker 02

  And so you write, direct?

• 25:26Speaker 05

  Yes. A co-write with Chanelle.

• 25:28Speaker 02

  Co-write, sorry.

• 25:29Speaker 05

  And direct. And.

• 25:30Speaker 02

  And you're in the suit.

• 25:31Speaker 05

  And I'm in the suit. I'm in the suit, so I'm not reviewing a lot of takes.

• 25:35Speaker 03

  So you can't, you don't go behind the camera in the suit?

• 25:38Speaker 05

  No, I trust the cameraman, James Kwan, who was very trustworthy. We were like, did we get that? I think we got it. We're moving on.

• 25:46Speaker 03

  Have you had other performers that use sort of people to sort of things or, you know, their version of a monkey come forward and go, that's me as well. I've been using that as my suit of armour.

• 25:56Speaker 05

  Totally. I'm getting DMs like you wouldn't believe. Like, this is me.

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• 28:28Speaker 05

  But I guess it does speak to gender as well because Monkey is not a woman, really. It's not really a guy either, it's sexless. And that is a relief to step into.

• 28:38Speaker 03

  Everyone has a version of that when they go to work or meet family, they have a, something that they present that isn't fully them. It's the thing, it's the safest thing to be in that moment. We look at Johnny Vegas, really, that's a whole character. Whereas he's such a gentle, calm soul, really.

• 28:52Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 28:52Speaker 03

  But then he's this big force of energy.

• 28:55Speaker 05

  Yeah, exactly, yeah.

• 28:56Speaker 02

  So it's been a route, so it came out in two thousand and twenty four, did the festivals.

• 29:01Speaker 05

  Did it? No, five.

• 29:03Speaker 02

  Five, sorry. But now it's got general release.

• 29:06Speaker 05

  And now it's got general, and now it's on Prime and everyone can, and that takes a long time. Getting it out there.

• 29:13Speaker 02

  How does that feel?

• 29:14Speaker 05

  Bit by bit, it's like, oh, we're gonna show it at these festivals.

• 29:17Speaker 02

  And why do they do it like that?

• 29:19Speaker 05

  God knows, I think the worst way, or maybe it's just because it's my first time, I didn't know. I went, was ready when I came out there, editing room to put it online, you know. I'm like, it's done, let's get it out there and sort of have to be held back as they're looking for the right deal and it takes a while.

• 29:36Speaker 03

  So did you have any premieres or screenings?

• 29:39Speaker 05

  We had premieres here and there.

• 29:40Speaker 03

  Who did you go as?

• 29:42Speaker 05

  I did take him.

• 29:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, did you? Nina went, but you did have Monkey with you.

• 29:47Speaker 05

  I did, and I regretted it though, I thought it would be a good photo opportunity because it premiered at the Edinburgh Film Festival. And I, I had him in a, but also, no, first it came out in New York, that was it. It was in New York and I had him, like, so I was sitting at the back for the first screening and I had him in a suitcase. And I sort of ran to the toilet and got in, and it was so hot and so.

• 30:10Speaker 02

  And you got into the outfit?

• 30:12Speaker 03

  Oh, I thought you meant little monkey, like full monkey suit.

• 30:14Speaker 05

  The big guy.

• 30:15Speaker 02

  The big guy.

• 30:16Speaker 05

  It was a slightly different sort of vibe. And so, yeah, and I got, I got into him and then it's just, yeah, it was, it was hot. And there's very little visibility or oxygen, so you get kind of out of puff and I thought that was, that was too much. It's enough to be premiering a film and just go and do the Q and A.

• 30:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 30:34Speaker 05

  Don't make it so hard.

• 30:38Speaker 03

  You turn it into like Mrs Doubtfire sketch, you running between the screening rooms getting changed as the monkey.

• 30:45Speaker 02

  And have you, have your kids seen it?

• 30:47Speaker 05

  Yeah, they have, yeah.

• 30:49Speaker 02

  What do, when you've got older kids like that. So, so you were, so twenty two, so you've been doing kind of stand up their whole life, presumably.

• 30:59Speaker 05

  I have, yeah.

• 31:02Speaker 03

  Realisation for you.

• 31:03Speaker 05

  God, yeah, what a worry.

• 31:07Speaker 02

  How much did they, have they followed your career?

• 31:11Speaker 05

  Well, Arthur came to Edinburgh, watched a lot of Edinburgh shows. I mean, that was kind of what he did instead of university, he just like, because if you do see a load of shows, it's almost like life lectures, isn't it? He's been doing, like, he goes to forty at least every time he comes to Edinburgh, he goes to loads. So it shaped him in a way.

• 31:30Speaker 03

  Do you think Edinburgh is a great place, you can learn a lot about life there because not necessarily everyone's gonna give you great advice. They're also gonna give you advice to, to do the opposite of.

• 31:39Speaker 05

  Avoid, yeah.

• 31:40Speaker 03

  Which is quite helpful.

• 31:41Speaker 05

  And the main thing that will come over is tell your story, which is a really healthy thing to observe people doing. So, but he's an actor now though, so we'll see what happens, but.

• 31:51Speaker 02

  So it's an acting dynasty?

• 31:53Speaker 05

  I know.

• 31:55Speaker 05

  I tried to sidestep that because I found that cringey, I didn't wanna be the daughter of an, only doing acting because I was. A former family, I was very concerned about the nepo baby thing before the phrase was coined. So I became a ventriloquist.

• 32:12Speaker 03

  Did you wanna be an actor originally?

• 32:14Speaker 05

  I did, but I'm glad I, I'm glad I failed.

• 32:17Speaker 02

  How did you get into ventriloquism?

• 32:20Speaker 05

  Well, that was an error and it was like, I don't know, I thought I'd just do it for a bit, but it took off.

• 32:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:29Speaker 05

  So, but that was because of Ken Campbell, when I talked about what I was doing in nineteen ninety six and I talked about twenty four hour subcultural play when no one slept. That was his, that was his brainchild and he did lots of strange things.

• 32:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:43Speaker 05

  He was a truffle pig for forgotten art forms and he said, you should be a ventriloquist. And I rolled my eyes and thought, God, no, please. And then I sort of gave it a go and then thought, actually, I like that. I think that's different. I liked it because of that little monkey, which I happened to have.

• 33:01Speaker 02

  So you had the monkey anyway.

• 33:02Speaker 05

  I don't think I would have liked it if I had one of these, you know, I tried with one of these old woodeny guys and they give me the ick.

• 33:09Speaker 02

  You've got kids that have grown up with you performing, but you have grown up as the daughter of a famous performer.

• 33:15Speaker 05

  Yeah. I was remembering something about that the other day that was pretty painful.

• 33:21Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 33:22Speaker 05

  My dad made a film when I was about nine or ten where he played the Pope and it was in Rome.

• 33:29Speaker 02

  Right.

• 33:30Speaker 05

  And I remember my mum going up for.

• 33:32Speaker 02

  Was your mum an actor as well?

• 33:33Speaker 05

  Yeah, but she mainly was my mum.

• 33:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:36Speaker 05

  And she sort of gave up acting to, to look after me and my dad was the one who was, while his career was taking off. She had a better career when she got pregnant, but then, then his. Took off and he was making money, so it sort of made sense and she just looked after me anyway. So that, that probably painful for her in its own way, but when he was making this film as the Pope, there was a part for her that she could have got. So he gave, he got her, I remember him doing the screen test kind of at home with her.

• 34:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:07Speaker 05

  Now just to try and get her in this film, she wore a grey wig, which was interesting. And then, but there was also this girl in it who was like my age, that was this other thing, but I didn't get to audition for that. And then we went to Rome to visit, my mum didn't get the part, and met this other family that got the part. You know, this like beautiful woman who wasn't in a grey wig, dad.

• 34:36Speaker 05

  And then this beautiful girl and, and so, and just as the sort of family s- sitting on set feeling like a little bit like.

• 34:43Speaker 03

  You've been replaced, yeah.

• 34:44Speaker 05

  We're not, yeah, we're the shit real ones.

• 34:46Speaker 03

  Especially when you're nine and ten, that feels.

• 34:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, and it was like, oh, this is interesting. So, and then, yeah, so you just sort of, a lot of that was me and my mum kind of making time off set. And sometimes you'd visit set, but it wasn't ever a great feeling, it was kind of exciting, but you were sort of in the way.

• 35:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:06Speaker 05

  Someone might give you a Kit Kat and put you on a chair to sit, but it wasn't, you didn't fully belong. So it was a bit weird.

• 35:14Speaker 02

  That's quite interesting, isn't it? Because do you think that like with your, if your kids come to something?

• 35:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:21Speaker 02

  Do you, I, I, you think of it as a treat, do you know what I mean? But maybe it's not like that for them because you're going, oh, I've just got to go and do this, I've just got to go and do that. And they're just kind of, we've all been taken to work by our parents and you feel like you're in the way a bit. If it's a film set, it doesn't make it better than if it's an accounting firm.

• 35:38Speaker 05

  You do get the feeling, you know, that daddy's a bit special, something, you know, because you see the way people are treating him and he's like, everything is, the doors are just opening all the time. Things have been given to him, gifts and, you know, all of that. So there's something, I guess there's something kind of nice about that as a kid or you just sort of think something's a bit special, but you don't get it.

• 36:00Speaker 03

  He's joking, but that.

• 36:01Speaker 05

  You don't understand it.

• 36:01Speaker 03

  That era though, like kids at work was sort of like a no go where it has moved a lot on in like one or two generations.

• 36:07Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 36:08Speaker 03

  Where having kids at the place of work is a bit more chilled, do you know what I mean? Like even in the last like ten years of like, sort of like, you know, Catherine Ryan's, I think has been amazing with that, where she'll go on shows pregnant or bring the baby out to breastfeed and that kind of, and talk about it and get my kids over there. Rather than it being like a dirty secret of your kids at work with you and stuff.

• 36:25Speaker 05

  Yeah, very good on all that.

• 36:27Speaker 03

  But, yeah, no, it's, yeah, because it is, you're just sat there watching, but you're not in it.

• 36:31Speaker 02

  There's a great scene in Get Back where they're watching the mix, they're listening to the mixes of Let It Be. And they've got Linda McCartney's kids are just there kicking around. And I think that looks like an absolute nightmare.

• 36:46Speaker 03

  To have them there.

• 36:48Speaker 05

  Yeah, right.

• 36:49Speaker 03

  To be fair though, if they can right, let it be with kids about, there's no one else, yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, you can be the Pope.

• 36:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:55Speaker 05

  But it's great for it not being like school is the full story again, I guess. Like you're getting this other sort of world and it was, there were exciting elements to it. My favourite thing was when I was five and I went to see his, he was in a musical for a bit, I went to see it twenty five times.

• 37:12Speaker 02

  You went to see it twenty five times?

• 37:13Speaker 05

  Twenty five times.

• 37:14Speaker 03

  How old did you when that?

• 37:15Speaker 05

  I was about five.

• 37:16Speaker 03

  Five, yes, right.

• 37:17Speaker 05

  And then they, sometimes they didn't sell the boxes in the theatre and so I would get the box if they hadn't sold the box.

• 37:23Speaker 02

  And you'd go on your own?

• 37:24Speaker 05

  And I'd go on my own, sit in the box and watch the musical, I loved it.

• 37:27Speaker 02

  What was the musical?

• 37:28Speaker 05

  They're playing our song, no one's heard of it, no.

• 37:31Speaker 03

  But you know it word for word.

• 37:33Speaker 05

  I do, I do.

• 37:34Speaker 03

  So how did you manage your career when you had the kids then, like, because obviously travelling, touring?

• 37:38Speaker 05

  I took them always, I took them always and Stan, like, their dad, we were on tour together actually sometimes and we'd do one half and then hand the baby over and then one of us go on the second half. We were doing the Avalon Network with that.

• 37:51Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. She'd just be doing Avalon gigs and then.

• 37:53Speaker 05

  Half times, yeah.

• 37:54Speaker 02

  I mean, that doesn't mean anything to people at home. But you'd be doing Northampton Picture Dome and then you'd be taking.

• 38:00Speaker 05

  There's the awful university gigs, God.

• 38:03Speaker 02

  Oh, God.

• 38:04Speaker 03

  They are hard, those uni gigs.

• 38:04Speaker 05

  Dressing rooms and just like holding a baby in the, yeah, in the sort of toilet, I guess it was awful.

• 38:10Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 38:11Speaker 03

  When I was at comedy, I thought the uni gigs would be like rock and roll, but they're just like scared eighteen year olds, just like.

• 38:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:17Speaker 03

  No idea what's going on.

• 38:18Speaker 02

  And you feel about a hundred years old, the moment you get to a university, even if you're.

• 38:21Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 38:22Speaker 02

  I was like twenty seven and I'd still be like, this is, there's no connection.

• 38:26Speaker 03

  No, completely gone. Do you, do they, do they remember? Been on the road with you and stuff, they talk about it or?

• 38:32Speaker 05

  I think Arthur will remember but a bit better. It was a bit late for my fifteen year old, it happened less. I think we sort of established a family and worked out how things work and he doesn't have to be in my backpack the whole time, you know. A bit more organised. But my mum also travelled the world with me. Like to Melbourne and all that and Montreal with the baby.

• 38:56Speaker 02

  I want to help look after.

• 38:57Speaker 05

  Yeah, she really made it possible to keep working.

• 39:00Speaker 02

  God, she's, she, she did the same thing again. She did it with you and then she did it.

• 39:04Speaker 05

  I know, but guess what? She's eighty now, eighty-three, and she's just done her, her third in a row Edinburgh Festival. She's doing her own show now.

• 39:15Speaker 02

  No.

• 39:15Speaker 05

  She's going, I'm gonna have my time, I've done you.

• 39:18Speaker 02

  Oh wow.

• 39:20Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 39:20Speaker 03

  So she's got a one woman show.

• 39:21Speaker 05

  Got one woman show.

• 39:23Speaker 02

  That's amazing.

• 39:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's pretty good.

• 39:25Speaker 02

  How nervous were you the first time you saw her do?

• 39:28Speaker 05

  I was nervous, but she's quite funny when she talks to the audience, it's really, I think she should do only that actually.

• 39:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:34Speaker 05

  She should do only that.

• 39:35Speaker 03

  What's, what was the show called?

• 39:37Speaker 05

  Um, this last one, well, she'd barrel cook the artist, she does an artist each year. And she does, like, she plays them, she does a painting by them and then she talks their story as them whilst painting.

• 39:50Speaker 02

  Oh wow, that's cool.

• 39:51Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's pretty cool.

• 39:52Speaker 03

  So you're all such a performer family.

• 39:54Speaker 05

  I know, isn't it? I'm trapped like.

• 39:56Speaker 02

  I wanna ask you about performer, I wanna know if you remember this. Do you remember me and you doing a gig together?

• 40:02Speaker 05

  Together? Oh, not on stage together. Sorry, sorry, yeah, the same gig.

• 40:07Speaker 03

  He was the monkey for the first two years. He just before had a growth spurt.

• 40:11Speaker 02

  I, we did a gig together.

• 40:13Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 40:14Speaker 02

  With Lembit Opik.

• 40:15Speaker 05

  Oh yes, Underground.

• 40:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:18Speaker 05

  In, in Soho or something.

• 40:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was one of the weirdest nights of my life.

• 40:22Speaker 05

  What was that?

• 40:24Speaker 02

  No, he'd moved on from it, so.

• 40:25Speaker 05

  Oh, but that was in the, that was just that.

• 40:29Speaker 02

  It was that era, he'd just been, um, uh, he'd just been voted out of Parliament, so it would have been.

• 40:36Speaker 03

  You're gonna say on the celebrity.

• 40:37Speaker 02

  No, yeah, he'd just been voted out of Parliament, so two thousand and ten it would have been.

• 40:40Speaker 05

  Yeah, and they had actually kind of orchestrated the gig for him to do this performance.

• 40:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, he was mates with the guy and he did, I think he did, you know, like, he'd never done it before and he did something like twenty minutes, which is obviously too long.

• 40:54Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 40:55Speaker 02

  And my own, my memory, so you'd been on before him, cause I think he closed.

• 41:01Speaker 05

  Right.

• 41:01Speaker 03

  You can't phone Nina, can't do a Lembit Opik.

• 41:03Speaker 02

  No, and he did, um, he did ventriloquism with his shoe, he took his shoe off.

• 41:09Speaker 05

  Oh gosh, I forgot that.

• 41:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, so do you, you, you've got vague memories of that.

• 41:14Speaker 05

  I do remember, I mean, like, yeah, I'm in the room, I can picture this all happening, but I don't remember his material. I remember sort of thinking it was a little bit of a hit to miss.

• 41:22Speaker 02

  It was, it was, it was, it wasn't like awful.

• 41:26Speaker 05

  No.

• 41:26Speaker 03

  Serviceable.

• 41:27Speaker 02

  It was serviceable, but it was a weird night.

• 41:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, very weird. And did you, where did you go on? You went on before him too, pretty much.

• 41:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, we all went on before him, I think he was closing.

• 41:38Speaker 05

  Bold.

• 41:38Speaker 02

  Bold, especially, cause I said to Rob actually before you got here, that I would list you in the acts I'd least like to follow on stage.

• 41:46Speaker 05

  Oh really?

• 41:46Speaker 02

  Which is a compliment, obviously.

• 41:49Speaker 03

  They just go mad for it, the crowds.

• 41:50Speaker 05

  And it makes everything a little bit dizzy.

• 41:53Speaker 03

  It's just so funny, and when you like stumble across bits, cause I feel like when you're a ventriloquist, there's certain bits you have, or certain, the way you deliver it, where you just gotta go, I know that absolutely kills every night. Like, how does it feel having those bits or moments coming up? Like, cause if the gig's not going well, does it make you feel more confident? Cause it must have been such a smug feeling, cause I felt it was so much, it's sort of all in the delivery, but if you've got a set piece type thing.

• 42:17Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 42:17Speaker 03

  You know that ninety-nine times it's gonna work.

• 42:20Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's good having, I, it, that's also like something so great about having that monkey, like his, the stillness of his face, the stature of his stillness, cause you can get a wobble on if you're feeling like this isn't going well, but he's like solid.

• 42:36Speaker 02

  He's staring him out.

• 42:37Speaker 05

  Staring him out.

• 42:37Speaker 03

  There's always someone to throw to, isn't it?

• 42:39Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 42:40Speaker 03

  Cause that Terry Alderson used to do that thing where he's face the wall.

• 42:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:42Speaker 03

  And talk from the back of his mind, it still does it, and that is amazing, it's almost a similar dynamic where it's like there's, there's someone else on stage with him.

• 42:49Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 42:50Speaker 03

  But it's in his mind and obviously you've got the monkey.

• 42:51Speaker 05

  I know, no, it's great. But now I don't really use the monkey as much and I'm doing, well, I don't have bits anymore. But I do have chaos with these people and their masks and like, so it's always unscripted now, which is.

• 43:05Speaker 02

  So your whole thing is on.

• 43:06Speaker 05

  Whole thing.

• 43:07Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 43:07Speaker 05

  I just worked out it was funnier.

• 43:10Speaker 02

  Is there set piece without giving it away? Do you not fall into bits that you've done before?

• 43:16Speaker 05

  Well, there are some, I mean, I'm, it, it, this comes up a lot. When you ask someone, how did you meet or what, what are you doing later or something? They go like this.

• 43:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:28Speaker 05

  And I've called that sucking dick every time, you know.

• 43:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, of course.

• 43:33Speaker 05

  It comes up all the time.

• 43:34Speaker 02

  You're a professional, you're not gonna miss that opportunity, you've got, you've got to tap the ball in.

• 43:38Speaker 05

  That's the one that comes up again and again, but now, I mean, like, I've posted that, that's been seen a million times, so I'm, I'm like, now I'm kind of going, you know what, that hand gesture, you know, it's like, I've got to think of other things. What other things could there be?

• 43:52Speaker 02

  People like to see the hits.

• 43:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:54Speaker 02

  People like to see it.

• 43:55Speaker 03

  Wanking off a giraffe?

• 43:58Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 43:58Speaker 03

  Waving a blowjob?

• 43:59Speaker 05

  That's in, that's going in, I'm gonna try that.

• 44:02Speaker 02

  Yeah?

• 44:02Speaker 03

  Milk in a massive cow.

• 44:04Speaker 05

  Yeah, done a lot of cow driving becomes milking.

• 44:06Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, yeah.

• 44:07Speaker 05

  Trying that, and this, which is the keyboard, that's like a massage or a piano.

• 44:12Speaker 03

  You've got to keep thinking of other things for those.

• 44:13Speaker 05

  I want to think of other things, cause you don't want to just get stuck on those.

• 44:16Speaker 03

  This is a great game, so that, that.

• 44:19Speaker 05

  Something in the eye, wanking my eye.

• 44:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:22Speaker 05

  I don't know.

• 44:23Speaker 03

  Wanking my eye.

• 44:24Speaker 05

  Sorry about that.

• 44:25Speaker 03

  I mean, you've got, but you've got to throw enough against the wall and something will stick.

• 44:28Speaker 05

  Sometimes.

• 44:29Speaker 03

  But I think giraffe maybe the worst.

• 44:30Speaker 02

  So when did you decide, I'm, I'm gonna go with no shtick anymore?

• 44:34Speaker 05

  Because I had a stooge who I paid when I first started doing the mask. And he would come and one time he, he couldn't come, he was late or something.

• 44:44Speaker 02

  He signed his own death warrant.

• 44:47Speaker 03

  He made himself obsolete.

• 44:49Speaker 05

  I did it for about six months with, with him, or there were maybe about three people that would do it with me. And that was a very basic bit where I'd just say, I wanna dance, and then he would like act a bit shy and then he would dance.

• 45:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:02Speaker 05

  I mean, I shouldn't out myself, but anyway, I don't do that ever anymore. So that was about six months and then, and then he didn't turn up and it was just like way funnier.

• 45:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, and more fun for you.

• 45:12Speaker 05

  And more fun for me.

• 45:18Speaker 03

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• 46:27Speaker 04

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• 46:32Speaker 02

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• 46:48Speaker 02

  When I, um, was supporting Stephen Merchant on tour, he used to do a bit at the end.

• 46:54Speaker 03

  Wanking off a giraffe?

• 46:58Speaker 02

  He used to do a bit at the end.

• 46:59Speaker 05

  That's pretty good.

• 47:00Speaker 02

  That was really nice, wasn't it? Yeah.

• 47:02Speaker 05

  Very good, Rob. No notes.

• 47:08Speaker 03

  No, to be fair, we set that up on my stooge. Have we done that for six times?

• 47:12Speaker 02

  I've never met Stephen Merchant.

• 47:16Speaker 02

  He used to bring two people out of the audience at the end for this, like, set piece.

• 47:20Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 47:20Speaker 02

  It was really great.

• 47:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 47:21Speaker 02

  But we'd, I used to see it like, we must have done Eighty Days or whatever, and he kind of established that the more confident the people were to come out, often the worse they were.

• 47:32Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 47:33Speaker 02

  And I've heard Darren Brown say, if someone wants to be picked, he doesn't want to pick them, because is it the same with you?

• 47:39Speaker 05

  Uh, yes, I don't want anyone too keen because it gets silly.

• 47:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:45Speaker 05

  And they do too much and then it all looks, well, yeah, it just looks wobbly and dumb.

• 47:50Speaker 03

  So how do you, how do you pick them then now? Do you look for someone that doesn't want to be picked?

• 47:53Speaker 05

  Stable.

• 47:54Speaker 03

  Someone looks stable.

• 47:57Speaker 05

  Someone nice.

• 47:57Speaker 03

  Don't want to have someone like that.

• 47:58Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:01Speaker 05

  But then at the end I throw some of them in. If I'm getting like a whole line of people at the end, you, you get some of those.

• 48:07Speaker 03

  So I, I love doing crowd work, right? I like a big public show. I'd love to be able to do a show of just, you know, an hour, I think about an hour's the most you can do unscripted.

• 48:14Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:14Speaker 03

  Because it wanes, I think, if it goes on for longer. But I found certain, when, when I do crowd work, some places are bang up for it.

• 48:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:21Speaker 03

  To the point where they're too chipper. Like, sometimes on a Friday night in Liverpool, everyone's so confident.

• 48:26Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:26Speaker 03

  There's too much, but actually like midweek in Liverpool, it's perfect.

• 48:29Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 48:29Speaker 03

  But then sometimes in Cambridge on like a Tuesday night, like, are there places where you go, it's harder to get that improv going? If they're too reserved or is it, is it normally fine across the board?

• 48:40Speaker 05

  Reserved is lovely.

• 48:40Speaker 03

  That's better for you.

• 48:41Speaker 05

  It's, it's lovely, yeah. And, and bonkers has been, I, I don't know, you've got to just remember there's no rules.

• 48:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:47Speaker 05

  And you go with what you, you've been grateful for what you, you got and you find the way. It has to be. It has to be. Because I don't think it's true that anyone, that you want someone like really timid, but it can work.

• 49:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:00Speaker 05

  I guess you don't want like ten in a row of that.

• 49:03Speaker 03

  No. Have you had anyone just sort of just burst into tears and ran away? Just didn't want to do it?

• 49:07Speaker 05

  Um, thankfully not. I mean, that's my nightmare. That's what keeps me awake at night. But no, not so much.

• 49:14Speaker 03

  They just run out the stage drawing, you're just thinking of them.

• 49:16Speaker 05

  Twelve year old girl whose family were up and they like brought her up and then she didn't want to, so she went and sat down.

• 49:21Speaker 03

  Oh, that's fair, yeah.

• 49:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 49:22Speaker 03

  That's the best place to do that.

• 49:23Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 49:24Speaker 02

  Does it feel weird then doing a film where everything, you know, there's something about your stage, it's almost like the opposite, right? Because your, your stage show is a one night only live event that can't be captured in any way. Is, you know, you don't know what it's going to be beforehand. You probably, you know, whatever it will be. Film, you're like, this is it. This is the script.

• 49:47Speaker 05

  You've got to get it.

• 49:48Speaker 02

  This is the shot. This is everything. This is.

• 49:49Speaker 05

  Yeah, but I also, we, we did, we did go further than that whenever we were able, we had time. We would improvise into it much more. And then I also had Christopher Guest's spinal tap was my exec. So I was like phoning him and going like, how do we do this? And he was like, you've got to have two cameras. Because the cameraman was just going to do one camera to begin with. So that was like massive piece of luck. Um, that I had that conversation with him, but he was just saying, no, don't, I think we had such a limited budget. Don't get, don't get a script editor who tells you like where you put your cup. God, forget all that. Just go with it. It's going to be hard later in the edit, but just do it.

• 50:34Speaker 05

  And that was really like the thing that makes some of those scenes really sing is that we were off script. So it does feel a lot more real.

• 50:42Speaker 02

  How did you get Christopher Guest?

• 50:44Speaker 05

  Well, I'd worked with him before. I worked with him, I first had a bit part in For Your Consideration.

• 50:50Speaker 02

  Oh, right.

• 50:51Speaker 05

  And then I did an HBO series with him, but.

• 50:53Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 50:54Speaker 05

  Called Family Tree. So I knew him from that.

• 50:57Speaker 02

  Did you, I'm going to ask a tangential question that's completely different now. Do you know BT Edmondson, who is Jennifer Saunders and Adrian Edmondson's daughter? She got to. So she got to go to Friends when they're in the UK because her mum was in it.

• 51:11Speaker 05

  Oh, so did I. Yeah.

• 51:13Speaker 02

  I was going to say, did you go to that?

• 51:14Speaker 05

  I did go to that. I did go to a recording. That was cool because they rewrote the scene right up until the last minute. They were changing things. Yeah.

• 51:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:23Speaker 05

  Yeah, I noticed that.

• 51:25Speaker 02

  So.

• 51:25Speaker 05

  And I met.

• 51:25Speaker 03

  And that's probably the most iconic part of Friends as well, isn't it? The wedding?

• 51:29Speaker 02

  When they come to the, when they come to the UK.

• 51:31Speaker 05

  The wedding.

• 51:31Speaker 02

  Were you there for the I Take You Rachel scene where he, I mean, that's a big ask to ask you to memorise that.

• 51:37Speaker 05

  I don't remember. I think the thing I saw Monica and, I, I think they were in bed.

• 51:44Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 51:45Speaker 05

  Monica and Chandler were in bed for a scene that I saw. Uh, yeah. I don't remember exactly, but it was, it did feel like, that did feel like an important.

• 51:53Speaker 03

  That was mega, yeah. Such a huge show.

• 51:54Speaker 05

  At the time, yeah.

• 51:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, that was like a huge cultural moment, wasn't it?

• 51:59Speaker 05

  Yeah, crazy.

• 52:00Speaker 03

  Uh, are you got any tour dates coming up with this show?

• 52:02Speaker 05

  I'm doing like a monthly show at the Leicester Square Theatre where I get other people to come on and do little bits, but.

• 52:08Speaker 03

  And then that's all, again, unscripted when it's your boss.

• 52:10Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 52:11Speaker 03

  Oh, brilliant. That's a great venue, Leicester Square Theatre.

• 52:13Speaker 05

  I love Leicester Square.

• 52:14Speaker 03

  Stuart Lee's character performs there quite a lot.

• 52:17Speaker 02

  Do you want to do more films?

• 52:19Speaker 05

  Yes, I do.

• 52:20Speaker 02

  Is that what you, do you always plan to do that?

• 52:23Speaker 05

  Yes, but you know, there are other things I want to do. One of everything.

• 52:28Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 52:29Speaker 05

  I've done a film, so I'm going to do an animated feature also with Shannawa.

• 52:33Speaker 02

  Amazing.

• 52:34Speaker 05

  And then I don't know, maybe another film.

• 52:36Speaker 03

  And will this be sort of Monkey Willhouse or totally new thing?

• 52:40Speaker 05

  I think it's going to be different, yeah.

• 52:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:41Speaker 05

  I might have taken that monkey and it's Paul Jones. Maybe not. You never know. You never know.

• 52:46Speaker 02

  Oh my word.

• 52:47Speaker 05

  I don't know what the next evolution is beyond I've become the monkey, the monkey then becomes me again. I don't know.

• 52:55Speaker 02

  Where is the monkey?

• 52:57Speaker 05

  Right now?

• 52:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:59Speaker 05

  He's in a suitcase because I did the corporate gig last night.

• 53:08Speaker 02

  Not always the improvising artist, are you?

• 53:13Speaker 03

  I bet that roos, if you get the boss up at a corporate.

• 53:16Speaker 02

  Do you get the boss up and put the face on him?

• 53:18Speaker 05

  I don't get someone that everybody knows because I'm not in on that context really.

• 53:22Speaker 03

  True, because they're all in jokes then, isn't it?

• 53:24Speaker 05

  Yeah, I don't want to be the dumb, dumbest one in the room.

• 53:27Speaker 02

  I'd kill when I do a corporate to have that kind of thing.

• 53:31Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 53:32Speaker 03

  Has it ever gone terribly wrong at a corporate?

• 53:36Speaker 05

  Corporates are.

• 53:37Speaker 03

  Because they're tough.

• 53:37Speaker 05

  High wire, yeah.

• 53:38Speaker 02

  Oh, they're so difficult.

• 53:40Speaker 05

  They're so difficult. And sometimes like, I feel a bit safer now, a bit more known on the, you know, on the socials and everything. But they used to sometimes say you're a surprise. So you think, no, don't make me a surprise. No one's going to know who I am.

• 53:56Speaker 05

  Don't make this a reveal. It was just like, oh, what?

• 53:59Speaker 03

  Big smoke machine.

• 54:00Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 54:01Speaker 02

  I had one of them once and he said, you're a surprise. And then he went on and he said, um, you may know him from Darrow Breen's month of the week. And he's done Darrow Breen's School of Hard Sounds. So I was like, this is a disaster. He, I think he mentioned Darrow Breen three times in my intro. And that, how I come up, absolute disaster.

• 54:24Speaker 03

  Because I come, once they had me as a surprise and I come out and then there wasn't sort of any cameras on a big screen, so it's quite far away.

• 54:32Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 54:32Speaker 03

  And it's just a little bit of ones for first, because they don't, you know, sometimes they say your name. And then I could just like a whisper, he's a kid with a tooth.

• 54:46Speaker 05

  Hello. Oh, it's painful. And they put a dance floor in front of you.

• 54:50Speaker 02

  Oh, it's awful.

• 54:51Speaker 05

  And then they're, they're miles away on the other side of the dance floor.

• 54:54Speaker 02

  Um, Amazon Prime?

• 54:56Speaker 05

  Amazon Prime. Sunlight it's called.

• 54:58Speaker 02

  Sunlight.

• 54:59Speaker 05

  Sunlight.

• 54:59Speaker 02

  Sorry, I didn't say that. Sunlight on Amazon Prime. Um, is it one of those ones on Amazon Prime where I then have to pay for the film?

• 55:06Speaker 05

  No, you don't have to pay.

• 55:07Speaker 03

  It's included.

• 55:07Speaker 05

  It's included on Prime.

• 55:08Speaker 02

  I hate that on Amazon Prime.

• 55:10Speaker 05

  It's also on the other ones. It's on Apple TV and YouTube.

• 55:13Speaker 02

  Oh, is it?

• 55:14Speaker 05

  But you would have to pay on those.

• 55:15Speaker 03

  But it's included on your Prime?

• 55:16Speaker 05

  It's included on the Prime.

• 55:18Speaker 03

  Well, brilliant. Well, good luck with it.

• 55:19Speaker 05

  Thank you. Thank you. Yeah.

• 55:21Speaker 02

  And, um.

• 55:21Speaker 05

  Thank you for having me.

• 55:22Speaker 02

  It's been an absolute joy.

• 55:27Speaker 02

  That was Nina Conti. Can you believe we've been sat like this for the whole?

• 55:30Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 55:31Speaker 02

  Interview, watching it.

• 55:32Speaker 03

  And Josh has had his hand up my arse the whole time.

• 55:34Speaker 02

  I know.

• 55:34Speaker 03

  And it feels great. Can see why she got a full suit.

• 55:38Speaker 02

  Bye.