S13 EP21: Sneaky Sasquatch

This week the lads have been on a trip to Stockholm for a podcasting event and had a lovely time. Elsewhere Rob takes his daughters to the football (hear the full story HERE) and Josh's son is obsessed with Lego. If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: [email protected] Follow us on instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@parentinghell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Parenting Hell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is a Spotify Podcast, new video episodes available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. And now Footballing Hell is also available every Monday. A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:00Speaker 01

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• 1:30Speaker 02

  This episode is presented by TUI.

• 1:32Speaker 03

  Look, you've got to love a family holiday, Josh.

• 1:34Speaker 02

  Oh, you've got to love it. Who wouldn't love it, Rob?

• 1:36Speaker 03

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• 2:16Speaker 02

  Atol and Abta protected.

• 2:21Speaker 03

  Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with...

• 2:23Speaker 04

  Edward, can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. And can you say Josh Whitlam? Josh Whitlam. Josh what? Josh Whitlam. Way to go, good boy. Well done, buddy.

• 2:37Speaker 02

  There you go.

• 2:38Speaker 03

  Well done, buddy.

• 2:40Speaker 02

  Right, hi, Rob, Josh and Michael. Here's my cheeky and very accident-prone boy Edward saying your names. He was exactly three years old when we recorded this. In true Parenting Hell tradition, recorded this mid-bath, much to the amusement of his seven-year-old sister Alice. I've been listening since day one and can honestly say your podcast got me through some really tricky times we had trying to have a second child before Edward arrived. So it feels amazing to finally send this in. I know, Rob, you have done a couple of Australian tours and I know, Josh, you're tempted. But if you're ever in the area, I would recommend a visit to the lovely Melbourne Derbyshire, which is the Australian one is named after. I can't promise sunshine but can promise lots of pubs, friendly people in Petros Village. Keeping sexy and reliable, Emma, 486 months from Melbourne Derbyshire.

• 3:25Speaker 02

  Unfortunately, not the Australian one.

• 3:27Speaker 03

  Oh, right, I got confused. Okay, so there's a Melbourne in Derbyshire. Looks pretty.

• 3:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:32Speaker 03

  I'm going to go back to Australia. I'm thinking about going back for a holiday slash work.

• 3:37Speaker 02

  Are you going to work again?

• 3:38Speaker 03

  Well, the plan would be to go.

• 3:40Speaker 02

  It was a long time. I think, and I think listeners will agree with this.

• 3:45Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 3:46Speaker 02

  That if I had spoken as publicly as you did within the last year, by publicly, I mean on this podcast.

• 3:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:56Speaker 02

  About how you're going to have a real break from touring and stand up.

• 4:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:01Speaker 02

  And within a year, you are clearly drifting back towards it at top pace. I think it's fair to say you would have hauled me over the coals.

• 4:16Speaker 02

  Would you agree on that, Michael?

• 4:17Speaker 05

  Yeah, 100%.

• 4:18Speaker 03

  I agree.

• 4:19Speaker 05

  But there's a sort of inevitability to it all.

• 4:23Speaker 03

  That's why people listen, because we say something and they're already sat there going...

• 4:27Speaker 02

  You would have, you would have, let's be honest, if this was me, Rob, you'd be going, you can't be doing this, Josh. You can't be doing this.

• 4:34Speaker 03

  I mean, look.

• 4:35Speaker 02

  I agree. It doesn't feel that long ago that you were living on an industrial estate outside Coventry.

• 4:41Speaker 03

  Leicester. Let's get the facts right, okay?

• 4:43Speaker 02

  Okay, Leicester, sorry.

• 4:44Speaker 03

  And Coventry as well, I did both of them, to be fair. Now, look, to be honest, I'm definitely, I can't not do something. I just realised it. I've got to accept that I've got this little ball of energy in me that just goes and I have to channel it somewhere because if I don't, I'll end up in a pub or a bookies. I can just sense it.

• 5:02Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 5:03Speaker 03

  So I might as well, but it's about, you can't chop the legs off a racehorse, but you can put it on a safe track. Is that the saying?

• 5:11Speaker 02

  Okay, so how's the, yeah, yeah, so you're just going to keep it low-key, but good tour to Australia?

• 5:17Speaker 03

  No, no, no. So we want to go to Australia anyway, but we thought in a way to make it more efficient money-wise, if I do a tour at the end, my flights are...

• 5:29Speaker 02

  You know, you've worked really hard, right? You've done hundreds of dates.

• 5:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 5:35Speaker 02

  And, you know, really, when you go on holiday, you want to make it efficient. So you want to build it around a tour.

• 5:43Speaker 03

  If I'm already out there, then I could just do a couple of weeks of gigging while I'm there and then come back.

• 5:47Speaker 02

  But you could just do those gigs at home and then...

• 5:50Speaker 03

  For more money, probably.

• 5:51Speaker 02

  For more money, probably. And then go and spend that on a family holiday to Australia.

• 5:56Speaker 03

  It was basically a coffied-up ADHD chat in the car on the way to some friends at the weekend, right? This has not been booked, it's not going in. But I do agree, I am not implementing...

• 6:06Speaker 02

  I agree with the first of those, it's not been booked.

• 6:09Speaker 03

  Well, shall I tell you what I did last week in my autumn of doing nothing?

• 6:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:14Speaker 03

  So we did podcast, last Monday, we did four hours of podcast in the morning. In the afternoon, I filmed my golf YouTube channel.

• 6:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:22Speaker 03

  And the next day, we filmed all day in London for the podcast, then we flew to Stockholm. On Wednesday, we was at a conference for work all day, flew home.

• 6:31Speaker 02

  We will cover this because it's in front to have.

• 6:33Speaker 03

  Thursday, I had to do a couple of Zooms, not much though, bit of a half-day. Friday, I went to Bristol to do a corporate in an aircraft hangar that had a Concorde in it.

• 6:44Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 6:44Speaker 03

  Yeah. And then, but I had Saturday and Sunday off. So in the, I am working less in the evenings and at home at the weekends. That's key.

• 6:57Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 6:57Speaker 03

  Not working at all isn't the problem, but that is still quite a lot of work. But I, it's the evenings and weekends that's the killer. It's not working, it's the being away for weekends and evenings.

• 7:08Speaker 02

  So I would say a tour is crucially evenings or weekends.

• 7:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's what the chat was about. How do I tour? There's been talks of the matinee man, which, you know, it's going to be problematic if you only ever do two o'clock on Fridays.

• 7:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't think...

• 7:31Speaker 03

  But here's my, here's my plan, to just do Thursdays and Fridays.

• 7:35Speaker 02

  Okay, but do you know what, Rob? I'm going to play this out. This is a phone call. This is not necessarily your agent, but like someone at the agency is booking the tour. The thing is, Rob, right?

• 7:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:49Speaker 02

  You're going up to Manchester Thursday, Friday. You're doing these gigs. Are you really going to want to travel up to Liverpool the following Thursday, Friday? Or while you're up there, we could just get the Liverpool ones done Saturday and Sunday and then they're done and then you don't have to travel.

• 8:06Speaker 03

  No, not so...

• 8:07Speaker 02

  It's just more efficient, Rob. It's just more efficient.

• 8:09Speaker 03

  No, well, I'm, no, because if I just do...

• 8:12Speaker 02

  And then, because you'll need to...

• 8:13Speaker 03

  All right, I'll do Tuesday, Wednesday.

• 8:15Speaker 02

  You know, the advantage of the weekend, Rob, is that you can do the matinees as well.

• 8:21Speaker 03

  Oh my, I'm just so in denial, aren't I? I mean, so in denial about what I am. And what I am is a fucking touring clown that has to be there on a Saturday because that's when normal people want to go out.

• 8:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:31Speaker 03

  And I'm not going to do it. Thursday, Fridays, that's it. I'd love to do matinee man.

• 8:37Speaker 02

  Okay, so you're not going to do Saturdays and Sundays on this next tour?

• 8:40Speaker 03

  That's, that's the plan. Because if I get home late on a Friday...

• 8:43Speaker 02

  Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

• 8:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, sorry?

• 8:46Speaker 02

  That's the plan. So, sorry, I'm going to...

• 8:51Speaker 03

  I haven't had a discussion with my promoters yet about any of this.

• 8:54Speaker 02

  But you, but they'll be fine because you're just, that's, that's your red line.

• 9:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's my line in the sand, actually, while the kids are young, I don't do Saturdays.

• 9:04Speaker 02

  Okay, fine.

• 9:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, sorry, sorry if I've got boundaries, actually. No, it's definitely not Saturday, maybe Sat, maybe some Sat.

• 9:15Speaker 03

  No, I do find Saturdays are hard going. It's better to do, no, Sundays, like the worst is the Sunday night because if you get home Monday, you're into another week already. You do need that little reset on a Sunday.

• 9:28Speaker 02

  You might do Saturdays.

• 9:30Speaker 03

  No, I can't do Saturdays. Look, while we talk about this, I'm not doing any of that.

• 9:34Speaker 02

  Okay, fine. Have you got any gigs in?

• 9:37Speaker 03

  Oh, someone's calling. Oh, hang on. Oh, one second. Oh.

• 9:41Speaker 02

  Is it your tour promoter?

• 9:43Speaker 03

  No, but I'm getting a, right, sorry, this is quite parenting heli. First of all, do you like my new backdrop?

• 9:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, you can barely see it.

• 9:49Speaker 03

  Yeah. Second of all, do you want to chat about that while I quickly go and take the delivery of a car?

• 9:54Speaker 02

  What?

• 9:55Speaker 03

  Thanks. Right, I'll be back in about two minutes. I think someone's at the front. I can just double check, sorry. Someone's delivering a car today. We've got a new car.

• 10:02Speaker 02

  So, sorry, are we going to need quite a big break here because

• 10:08Speaker 02

  you're taking delivery of a car that takes quite a while.

• 10:11Speaker 03

  I'm just going to quickly.

• 10:16Speaker 03

  Oh, hello, mate. You're right. Do you call?

• 10:18Speaker 02

  Right, Michael.

• 10:19Speaker 05

  Do you want to fill time or do we want to stop?

• 10:21Speaker 02

  No, because I believe, let's have a, let's have a little bet.

• 10:25Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 10:25Speaker 02

  Okay. I think seven minutes minimum.

• 10:28Speaker 05

  Okay, I'm setting a stopwatch now. I'm going to say nine minutes, 10 seconds.

• 10:33Speaker 02

  Okay. Shall we have a break? I'll have a biscuit.

• 10:37Speaker 03

  I couldn't change it from 9:12, so I thought Lou might be here, it might be fine. It might even have popped in between records, you know.

• 10:45Speaker 02

  He might have, he might have.

• 10:46Speaker 03

  Half eleven.

• 10:48Speaker 05

  Hilariously, there's, keep talking, there's someone at my door now.

• 10:52Speaker 03

  Here we go. So it's not just me. Sorry about that, Josh.

• 10:55Speaker 02

  Carry on without him, Michael?

• 10:58Speaker 03

  He's gone.

• 11:01Speaker 03

  Also, I went, right, so I got, I went out, we might as well, he's recording, isn't he? So I went out, I'm wearing this white t-shirt, yeah?

• 11:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:09Speaker 03

  And I've got a pair of shorts on because when I normally sit here, I get quite sweaty. I just put shorts on, we know pants.

• 11:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:15Speaker 03

  Fine. However, in the daylight.

• 11:19Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 11:20Speaker 03

  You can see through the pants, the shorts.

• 11:21Speaker 02

  The silhouette of the dick.

• 11:22Speaker 03

  The silhouette of the dick. So I just greeted a man with a car with the silhouette of my dick.

• 11:28Speaker 02

  Yeah. And he said.

• 11:31Speaker 03

  I'll pop it in the letterbox.

• 11:32Speaker 02

  I'll pop it in the letterbox.

• 11:33Speaker 03

  Well, the keys to the car. I went, I went, sorry, mate, I'm in the middle of a podcast with a dick flapping about with my slippers on. And he went, that's okay, I'll just say you weren't here and put it in the letterbox. I was like, what an absolute fucking legend.

• 11:44Speaker 02

  Great, great.

• 11:45Speaker 03

  Yeah. I hope he hasn't got a story that I was like dismissive. I just, I said, I'm really sorry. But like, I didn't like, normally I offer a cup of tea and say, do you need the toilet and stuff like that.

• 11:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, no, I think, I don't, I don't think that's the story.

• 11:58Speaker 03

  It's the dick.

• 11:59Speaker 02

  He didn't offer me a cup of tea, it's the dick.

• 12:01Speaker 03

  Well, I think it's actually worse to offer someone a drink and do you want to come in for the toilet with their dick flapping about.

• 12:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:07Speaker 03

  But I didn't realise that I got out there.

• 12:08Speaker 02

  Come in with your dick out and say, do you want to come into my toilet?

• 12:10Speaker 03

  It's not escalating. My dick wasn't out, like, my dick was away, but when the, when the sun peeked through the cloud, why is Michael gone?

• 12:18Speaker 02

  I don't know. Well, he might be back. He's not going to.

• 12:20Speaker 05

  Come back, come back.

• 12:22Speaker 03

  What happened? What happened?

• 12:24Speaker 05

  There was my coffee and my breakfast at the door.

• 12:26Speaker 03

  And how out of breath are you? How big's your house?

• 12:28Speaker 05

  Well, I had to run downstairs and get some sugar for my coffee. So it's not my house, I'm at the office.

• 12:32Speaker 03

  He nearly got some sugar for his coffee in the delivery driver.

• 12:36Speaker 02

  I know, Rob.

• 12:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:38Speaker 02

  So when's this tour announced?

• 12:39Speaker 03

  No. No. I've got no jokes.

• 12:43Speaker 02

  People, look, should people, you can't say now, but do sign up to Rob's mailing list if you want exciting news before others.

• 12:52Speaker 03

  No, not yet. No, I think, no, I genuinely think I'll be touring in 2028.

• 12:57Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 12:57Speaker 03

  So I might be writing some stuff next year, but no tour.

• 13:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And do you know what? I might as well do some in autumn 2020.

• 13:05Speaker 03

  No, let's go on. I'm not playing this little game, like you're just.

• 13:07Speaker 02

  I reckon I should settle the nerves before Christmas.

• 13:10Speaker 03

  A little fiddle that you like to play now and again about my, my shows, actually. I've, I've.

• 13:15Speaker 02

  My art?

• 13:17Speaker 03

  My art. Look, when the inspiration comes a calling, Bobby B will come a talking, yeah?

• 13:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:24Speaker 03

  And at the moment, the inspiration hasn't struck. I'm thinking about, you know, maybe doing a show about big political issues or something, you know what I'm saying?

• 13:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think that's a good idea, actually, yeah. So, Rob.

• 13:35Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 13:36Speaker 02

  Shall we talk about our trip to Stockholm together?

• 13:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, so we went to Stockholm, didn't we, for the Spotify thing?

• 13:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, so it was a Spotify conference. We were asked to do a 10-minute talk at.

• 13:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, interview, very, it was quite, I've been to sort of, I do a lot of, we do a lot of corporate events. I've done a few fireside chats before about social mobility, actually, when I would discuss my Sunday Times bestselling book, A Class Act, where I discuss being trapped in a, you know, a working class man in a middle class world. And so it was very reminiscent of that for me. I don't know about how you found it.

• 14:10Speaker 02

  Well, let's go from the moment, go chronologically, because it was quite, quite the exciting, thrilling.

• 14:15Speaker 03

  Day. Well, we were in London, weren't we, doing parenting hell?

• 14:17Speaker 02

  Yeah. And then we got, we went to Heathrow.

• 14:20Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 14:20Speaker 02

  You were annoyed that I'd got check-in luggage?

• 14:23Speaker 03

  No, I wasn't annoyed. I was slightly surprised and a little bit put out because I'm like, oh, we're going to have to wait for Josh now to get his check-in luggage. But then you explained that you were going straight to Strictly after he was away for like four nights, so, five nights. So I was like, okay, let's not get annoyed at him. But yes, yeah, I was slightly put out that we had to wait for this dweeb to pack his, put his bag in the hold for one night.

• 14:48Speaker 02

  So let's talk about the fact that Louis Theroux was also there.

• 14:51Speaker 03

  Oh, I forgot about this. So, yeah, you, you, it's your.

• 14:56Speaker 02

  My daughter had asked me to download, I have to, I have to approve any games.

• 15:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:01Speaker 02

  That she wants on her iPad. It comes to my phone, which is quite frustrating because I'm away.

• 15:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, and she rang you in a record which they can hear. I think that was a, was that a football one or a parenting one?

• 15:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, and it was a game called Sneaky Sasquatch.

• 15:14Speaker 03

  Sneak, yeah, she wanted you to approve the purchase of Sneaky Sasquatch.

• 15:18Speaker 02

  Yeah. And how did we get into this conversation? I can't remember.

• 15:23Speaker 03

  We were laughing at, it was funny because she rang you and she was being quite forceful on the phone. She was like, just do this for me and I won't, and I'll leave you alone or something. And it, it made us laugh because we said, what is it she wanted? Because it sounded very serious. And you went Sneaky Sasquatch.

• 15:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:37Speaker 03

  And then we, I think at some point said, why don't we play a game where when we see Louis Theroux, we've got to try and say Sneaky Sasquatch.

• 15:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:46Speaker 03

  To him or in front of him, and whoever does it the most gets the most points.

• 15:49Speaker 02

  Let's just say Louis Theroux, we know quite well, I'd say. We went to Wimbledon with Louis Theroux. He's a lovely man.

• 15:55Speaker 03

  I've interviewed him before for his book launch at a venue and stuff.

• 15:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, we've had him on this. We, you know, we know Louis Theroux. He's up for a laugh. He's an interesting bloke.

• 16:05Speaker 03

  Yeah. Doesn't take stuff too seriously, quite relaxed.

• 16:08Speaker 02

  So we see him in the departure lounge from a distance, we don't go up to him. Because I don't think you want to disturb someone in the departure lounge.

• 16:15Speaker 03

  No, but he had his glasses off as well, so it's hard to spot.

• 16:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, I couldn't.

• 16:19Speaker 03

  Well, I think we said he's been a bit of a sneaky Sasquatch there, isn't he? Because you couldn't tell it was him with his glasses off. I don't know if sneaky Sasquatch is funny to anyone else apart from us, because we were like giddy school kids.

• 16:32Speaker 02

  And there was an element where I thought, the amount we were giggling on the trip, people are going to go, these two are a bit much in real life.

• 16:42Speaker 02

  You can't really do, I thought they'd just like put their headphones in and like ignore each other.

• 16:46Speaker 03

  Well, no, you really, you really attacked a book. You love a book.

• 16:50Speaker 02

  I love a book.

• 16:51Speaker 03

  Shoes off on a book.

• 16:53Speaker 02

  Shoes off on a book.

• 16:54Speaker 03

  Oh, that's your happy place.

• 16:55Speaker 02

  Well, I only took shoes off on the flight because you took your shoes off on the flight and I.

• 16:59Speaker 03

  No, you went shoes off first. And that's why I took mine off.

• 17:02Speaker 02

  No way, no way. I only took mine off.

• 17:04Speaker 03

  No, I remember thinking, he's got his shoes off, I'm going shoes off. Fuck you, you went first.

• 17:10Speaker 02

  I can't be you because I thought you knew more about flights.

• 17:16Speaker 03

  So also, I did notice that you, your shoelace situation, I've actually been messaging Rose about this.

• 17:22Speaker 02

  Is so annoying, my shoelace. I don't know what to do about it.

• 17:25Speaker 03

  Right, so your shoelaces always look like they're undone, but they're not, they're done up, but the bow is huge. You need to double knot the bow, I think.

• 17:32Speaker 02

  I do double knot the bow.

• 17:33Speaker 03

  You can't. How thin are your ankles? Why is the string so long?

• 17:37Speaker 02

  I think, because I like, I like a tight shoe.

• 17:41Speaker 03

  You pull it really tight around your feet, don't you?

• 17:43Speaker 02

  I think I put it really tight and I think that the consistency of the times I pull it tight lengthens the laces.

• 17:50Speaker 03

  So you're like Stretch Armstrong in the lace?

• 17:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think that's what's happening. Yeah.

• 17:54Speaker 03

  I think you need to get shorter laces then if that's the case, because I actually Googled Joshua Widdicombe's shoelace.

• 17:59Speaker 02

  Did you?

• 18:00Speaker 03

  There's a lot of evidence out there.

• 18:01Speaker 02

  Who's there?

• 18:02Speaker 03

  And it's quite stressful to be with you because you always look like you're about to trip over on it.

• 18:06Speaker 02

  I never do, so.

• 18:07Speaker 03

  I know, I know, that's fine. But I'm just saying, I'm a newcomer to this. So I was messaging Rose, I was talking to, messaging her the other night because you were busy presenting live and I was messaging her saying how good you were doing on Strictly.

• 18:19Speaker 02

  The shoelace is all right? Or the shoelaces are okay?

• 18:21Speaker 03

  Shoelaces are fine. I was saying how smart you looked. And then that led into the shoelace. And I said to her, he always looked like he was going to fall over in Stockholm because his laces were too long. And she said, oh my God, don't even get me started on the lace.

• 18:32Speaker 02

  But what, what can I do? Burn off the laces?

• 18:35Speaker 03

  No, just buy shorter laces.

• 18:36Speaker 02

  Well, I don't buy the laces, they come with the shoes.

• 18:38Speaker 03

  I know, but you're going to, you're going to have to sort of modify your shoes.

• 18:43Speaker 02

  Measure my laces and then find some shorter ones.

• 18:46Speaker 03

  I said, not a loose shoelace in sight on Strictly. And she said, I said, honestly, I was so anxious in Stockholm watching him walk downstairs. He has such big bows. And she said, I have no idea why shoelaces are so long.

• 19:00Speaker 03

  And she said, it's one of life's great mysteries. And I said, has he got a particularly slim ankle? And she said, no, his feet are quite wide. So you'd think it would take up more lace.

• 19:08Speaker 02

  Exactly. I've got wide feet.

• 19:10Speaker 03

  But it doesn't take up more lace.

• 19:11Speaker 02

  Do you know what? I've also got a high arch.

• 19:14Speaker 03

  Maybe that's got something to do with it. I think you need to buy new laces personally.

• 19:17Speaker 02

  Okay, fine, I'll do that. I'll get around to that.

• 19:22Speaker 03

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• 21:41Speaker 02

  So then we see Louis Theroux in the queue.

• 21:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:48Speaker 02

  You get in early with a sneaky Sasquatch, don't you?

• 21:51Speaker 03

  I say, oh, there he is, the sneaky Sasquatch, and get a point. Did you say one as well?

• 21:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, I said one when we met him in the queue.

• 21:58Speaker 03

  So the scoring system was you need to say, in his company, sneaky Sasquatch, if you're touching him, you get 10 points.

• 22:03Speaker 02

  Yeah. But I felt, when I said mind him, I did feel there was a flicker that he was like, why has that phrase come up again?

• 22:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think subconsciously you might have thought there's something going on here.

• 22:14Speaker 02

  Because I think I said, I can't remember what it would have been, but it would have been when we were then-

• 22:19Speaker 03

  We haven't told him we've done this game. Is this fair? Should we have told him at the end? I feel bad now. But it only was like two or three times because then we got on the plane-

• 22:26Speaker 02

  Then we stopped.

• 22:27Speaker 03

  And we stopped. You read your book, I watched a documentary about an amputee that-

• 22:31Speaker 02

  Oh my God, that you told me about and it sounded awful.

• 22:34Speaker 03

  Well, it was about a guy in Cornwall that was a doctor and a surgeon that used to do amputations, but then he basically cut his own legs off. Well, he didn't cut his own legs off. He, oh, this is so bleak, but basically-

• 22:45Speaker 02

  He's just so bleak.

• 22:46Speaker 03

  Right, let's not get bogged down. But he ended up having to get his legs amputated because he gave himself frostbite because he wanted to be an amputee. And then it found out that he was linked into this horrendous website. Anyway.

• 22:56Speaker 02

  Oh my gosh.

• 22:57Speaker 03

  So you're reading a book about 90s Britpop and I'm watching an amputee true crime doc. And then we arrive in Stockholm, we get to the hotel, wake up in the morning, go to the conference. We have quite a, we had no sneaky Sasquatches before the conference starts.

• 23:10Speaker 02

  We meet a lady called Macarena.

• 23:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, we met a lady called Macarena, who was a Mexican business podcaster, who I think interviewed Tom Cruise this week. Very, very intelligent, very charismatic, so on it, like, and she popped up everywhere. Everyone would turn around with Macarena.

• 23:28Speaker 02

  I reckon we met Macarena 15 times in the space of 12 hours.

• 23:32Speaker 03

  Every time we turned around, Macarena was there and she was on the panel with us chatting.

• 23:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, we watched a talk from the main CEO of Spotify.

• 23:39Speaker 03

  I know. I felt like an actual grown up. Oh my God, I'm at a grown up thing.

• 23:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, and then we had Fika.

• 23:46Speaker 03

  That, I love Fika. I've never Fika'd before.

• 23:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, which is basically a pastry at 11:00 a.m.

• 23:53Speaker 03

  And a chat. It's a Swedish cultural thing, I think.

• 23:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, we just stopped for a pastry and a chat.

• 23:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:59Speaker 02

  We were so out of our depth.

• 24:01Speaker 03

  I spoke to someone from LinkedIn.

• 24:03Speaker 02

  You spoke to someone from LinkedIn? It's mad that we were there. It's so weird. You were talking to someone from LinkedIn.

• 24:09Speaker 03

  And then the CEO of Spotify was there. I enjoyed it. We had a nice lunch, but before the lunch, we had to sit down and do this chat, right? Now, it was a really good chat. We just basically had to talk about how we approach our podcast, how we interact with people.

• 24:22Speaker 02

  I don't think, I think it's fair to say, we weren't as analytical as top people in business would want you to be.

• 24:29Speaker 03

  No, but that's not what we do. The other podcasters, there was Louis Theroux, there was another one, there was a business one and then a current affairs one. So they're quite serious. So it was a spread. They had like the sort of documentary one, comedy one, and then business and current affairs. And then there was questions. And now, I think I answered this fine, but I don't know if it was the right thing to do. So it'd be nice to hear from you and Michael. They asked us how we use AI within our podcast and there were some serious answers about-

• 24:57Speaker 02

  Well, I opened by saying we don't.

• 24:59Speaker 03

  No, yeah, which was a lie because we do. And I said, after they gave their quite sort of intelligent, broad answers about AI, I said, we have used AI in our podcast on Football in Hell. We created an image using AI of Roberto De Zerbi, the Tottenham manager, that had been transformed into a hamster and then back into a human watching CCTV in a shop. To what I would say was slight confused silence until you burst into laughter, George. But that is the only time we've used it.

• 25:33Speaker 02

  Even, even the eternally smiling Macarena, the eternally supportive Macarena was looking a little confused at that point.

• 25:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, but, you know, was that okay to say that? That was, that was the answer. You ask me a question, you get an answer.

• 25:47Speaker 02

  We had a lovely day out.

• 25:49Speaker 03

  We had lunch, lovely lunch, didn't we?

• 25:51Speaker 02

  We had a lovely lunch. You, you made loads of friends at the lunch. I think there's another world where you'd be a salesman.

• 25:58Speaker 03

  Oh, I love it. I'm not even doing, I just like talking to people. I've got a restaurant recommendation in Buenos Aires of a man from Argentina.

• 26:05Speaker 02

  I'm not sure you do like talking to people. You're a man who lived on an industrial estate outside Leicester to avoid human contact.

• 26:11Speaker 03

  If I'm well rested and got space, I'm a chat box.

• 26:16Speaker 02

  And that's why you're pulling back on the touring. That's why you're pulling back on the touring.

• 26:19Speaker 03

  Exactly. If I'd been on tour, I wouldn't have been as chatty at lunch.

• 26:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly.

• 26:24Speaker 03

  But I was, I had to get it out of me. It gives Lou a break. Could I get home if I've chatted to a bloke from Buenos Aires?

• 26:29Speaker 02

  Exactly.

• 26:30Speaker 03

  I just have to tell her about what I've said to him at lunch, rather than start a new conversation with Lou. So that's easier for her because she just has to nod and she's not fully involved. But I had a great time. And then we finished the conference and then we went football shirt shopping.

• 26:45Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, that was great fun.

• 26:46Speaker 03

  Great fun.

• 26:47Speaker 02

  Do you know what? I saw Gwyneth Paltrow in my hotel.

• 26:50Speaker 03

  Oh, Gwyneth Paltrow was there? Very exciting.

• 26:52Speaker 02

  We had a lovely time. Right at the end, he did a full 10 pointer.

• 26:58Speaker 03

  Sneaky Sasquatch.

• 26:59Speaker 02

  Sneaky Sasquatch from Louis.

• 27:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, because we were sat for a photo and he was behind me and we were talking about what we did on the plane and he was talking about a book he read. He was asking intelligent questions and I went, easy. It's like basically I felt I was on Mock the Week again. I was going with an easy bit of cheeky chappy, I mean idiot stuff, put my hand on his knee and went, do you know what I was doing? I was playing sneaky Sasquatch on my phone and then just looked straight ahead for the camera, 10 points, bang, 11-1. Done you. And then at the airport, we thought he might go on the plane home. So he was searching all the gates for the BA flights to try and get a hands-on sneaky Sasquatch. Oh, God, good fun. So Louis, thank you.

• 27:43Speaker 03

  Apology, I don't think you knew what was going on.

• 27:46Speaker 02

  I think, I think, I don't know, is this a legal thing you're allowed to do? Do drop in sneaky Sasquatch into your conversations generally?

• 27:56Speaker 03

  Until you get called down.

• 27:59Speaker 02

  Record them and send them in to us.

• 28:01Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah, let's make it a little viral TikTok trend where you say sneaky Sasquatch so many times until your partner goes, what are you saying? Why are you saying that?

• 28:10Speaker 02

  How many times can you say sneaky Sasquatch before your partner clocks it?

• 28:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, so it's fun there. Enjoyed that?

• 28:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, that was a really nice trip.

• 28:20Speaker 03

  It was. We had fun.

• 28:22Speaker 02

  Have you seen your kids much this week, Rob?

• 28:23Speaker 03

  Loads. We went to, well, we spoke about it on the Footballing Podcast, actually, went and saw London City Lionesses. So we spoke about that on the football pod. That was good. That was a little Saturday afternoon out. Sunday, we went to see some friends and they're just, they're just, I found my kid, like, they just, I felt like, I don't know what was going on, but my kids didn't stop speaking for the whole weekend. Do you ever find that with just children, it's just like, oh my God, this is, I don't know if it's because I've been at home loads and I was with them all weekend, but, and I was just like, I can't talk anymore.

• 29:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:01Speaker 03

  Do you ever find that? And it's like, I felt really bad, but I was just like, Dad, that is constantly for, he goes, yes. And at one point, our dog was a bit nervous. Basically, we've worked out, George, if we've got, we have got a few flies in the house and we've got this machine, like a light that's blue that you turn it on, flies get drawn towards it and then get like zapped.

• 29:20Speaker 02

  Zapped.

• 29:21Speaker 03

  We've worked out that freaks the dog out. I don't know if it's a frequency or a smell or a noise that the dog can hear that we can't hear, but when that's on, we've got rid of it now. But when that's on, he gets all nervous and shaky. So if you sit down with him and have him on your lap and just stroke him gently, he'll rest and just go and sit. My daughter, the whole time, just kept going, he's really nervous, he's really, and I was like, if you sit quietly, he'll relax. She spoke non-stop about how stressed and nervous he was, basically making the dog more stressed and nervous. And then it kept on going. I think it's the noise. I think the noise is making him more, and I just said, how about you don't speak? And by the end of the weekend, she went, my voice, my chest feels all tight and my throat's hurting. I went, I'm not trying to be Aggie.

• 30:06Speaker 03

  Have you thought about not speaking for a bit? But it's so difficult to say that to your child about looking like an evil pet. I'm like, you have not stopped speaking for two days. Try not speaking.

• 30:22Speaker 03

  But yeah, no, we had a fun, we had a fun weekend. Went to a friend's in the morning. Oh, they, they gave us those sweets from, you know, my hotel room.

• 30:31Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 30:32Speaker 03

  The welcome package was some Swedish sweets and chocolates.

• 30:34Speaker 02

  Yeah. How did they get out?

• 30:36Speaker 03

  Well, we took them to our friends. We was going around friends in the morning. Actually, it's weirdly, we went to our friends at about 11am for Fika essentially.

• 30:42Speaker 02

  For Fika?

• 30:43Speaker 03

  But just an accidental Fika. It's contagious.

• 30:46Speaker 02

  A little Fika. Yeah. Because let's be honest, I mean, I love Fika as much as the next man.

• 30:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:53Speaker 02

  But it's not the first time I've ever eaten a pastry at 11am. Do you know what I mean?

• 30:56Speaker 03

  But I think what Fika is, because this is what I worked about Scandinavians are, they're very direct and quite comfortable in saying yes and no.

• 31:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:03Speaker 03

  It's not awkward. Where the British, so like, I think the point of Fika, the point of Fika is, if I said to you, come around for Fika, what that means is come round for 11 o'clock, fuck off by about half 12, you're not getting lunch, you're not staying all day, you're coming in for a coffee and a pastry, then you're gone. And then the person knows that that's what's happening.

• 31:23Speaker 02

  Is a thing, right? So if, if you were in a British workplace and you said, shall we all down tools and get a pastry at 11am? People go, well, I'm not sure about that.

• 31:34Speaker 03

  I've got a call then, I've got that, yeah.

• 31:36Speaker 02

  An exchange of ideas, Rob.

• 31:38Speaker 03

  And also just, you don't always have to be talking about work. But I think 11 o'clock Fika is that you wouldn't book in a call then, because that is Fika time.

• 31:47Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 31:47Speaker 03

  But I think I want to introduce Fika, because I, sometimes on a weekend, it'd be nice for friends with kids to come over for about an hour and a half, two hours. But I don't want to accept eight hour day. You know what I mean? Like, because if someone says come round about 11, you're like, well, what am I coming round for? Is that early for lunch? Or are you coming for lunch? Are you coming for the day? You're coming for dinner? Like, but at Fika's, I come round at about 11 and then you know, you're having a pastry and a coffee, then you're going. I'm not feeding you for lunch.

• 32:16Speaker 02

  I think we need to be the faces of bringing Fika to the UK.

• 32:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, the Fika boys.

• 32:23Speaker 02

  The Fika boys, yeah.

• 32:24Speaker 03

  Yeah. I think so. I think Fika needs to, I think you should say to them, do you want to come round for Fika? What's that? You come round at 11, we have a coffee and a croissant or a cinnamon bun, and then you go about half 12, I'm not doing your lunch.

• 32:36Speaker 02

  Oh, those cinnamon buns were so good as well.

• 32:38Speaker 03

  That, it was very good.

• 32:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:41Speaker 03

  Loved it.

• 32:42Speaker 02

  So you went round for Fika to your friend's house?

• 32:44Speaker 03

  Oh, that's the other thing I've got as well. You know, the, on Spotify, they have the X guy, the DJ X, that recommends songs like an algorithm thing, but it's actually a man talking to you.

• 32:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:53Speaker 03

  He's a real man.

• 32:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, you met him.

• 32:56Speaker 03

  Met him. He did a video for the girls.

• 32:58Speaker 02

  There you go.

• 32:58Speaker 03

  They were buzzing.

• 33:00Speaker 02

  They were buzzing.

• 33:01Speaker 03

  They love DJ X. Yeah, so that was all good. And then come back. And then, yeah, I went to Bristol on Friday to do the dentist corporate. I mean, have I not done one before? Easiest gig of my life.

• 33:14Speaker 02

  Why were the dentists having a corporate in a room with a concord in it?

• 33:17Speaker 03

  So basically, I think it's a, an association, if I'm right, that sort of smaller dentist practices can join, I imagine, for access to different things. Based in the South West. So I think it was a central point for everyone was Bristol. This is mad aircraft hangar, where it's got a concord in it, that you could go and have a look around and then tables and chairs at the bottom. And I did the gig there. It's a really good gig, actually. It was really nice.

• 33:38Speaker 02

  Oh, nice. How much, how much teeth stuff did you do?

• 33:41Speaker 03

  What?

• 33:42Speaker 02

  How much teeth stuff did you do?

• 33:43Speaker 03

  How much teeth? Loads of teeth stuff. I absolutely hammered it. You're gonna, were you? I mean, it's insane. I mean, absolutely. Well, I mean, for me, that's probably the easiest corporate. And what would, what would yours be? Plymouth Argyle? But then if the plan is there, it gets a complicated.

• 33:57Speaker 02

  Really tough. I, I don't, I think I might turn down Plymouth Argyle.

• 34:01Speaker 03

  What else is going down with you?

• 34:02Speaker 02

  Do you know a Lego? My son's become Lego obsessed. He's just so into Lego.

• 34:08Speaker 03

  And is he building stuff with the booklet or just making mad stuff?

• 34:10Speaker 02

  Building stuff with the booklet.

• 34:12Speaker 03

  That's what he likes.

• 34:13Speaker 02

  He's obsessed with the booklets. He wants.

• 34:15Speaker 03

  So you're gonna need a place to store all the builds, aren't you?

• 34:18Speaker 02

  Yes, he wants a shelf in his room when it's done, but I think it's getting, there's getting too much stuff.

• 34:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, between three cats and a, you know, jumbo jet or whatever he's building.

• 34:28Speaker 02

  Well, we've got the plane. And the plane's difficult to fit anywhere, because the wings are quite light.

• 34:34Speaker 03

  You can mount them on walls. Have you seen this?

• 34:36Speaker 02

  He likes to play with them.

• 34:38Speaker 03

  Right, okay. So he gets them down and play, yeah.

• 34:41Speaker 02

  Yeah. So that's, that is our sitting room at the moment. It's, to be honest, Rob, life is

• 34:49Speaker 02

  pretty smooth sailing family wise at the moment.

• 34:52Speaker 03

  It's all pretty easy.

• 34:53Speaker 02

  Well, not easy. It's never easy. It's never easy, but it's easier than it's been.

• 35:00Speaker 03

  Because he's in, it's his first, it's his second year of school now as well.

• 35:03Speaker 02

  Year one.

• 35:03Speaker 03

  Year one, yeah. So like, you're getting into a little bit of, you're creeping into the easy, because it is 10 and 8 is a lot easier.

• 35:12Speaker 02

  Is it?

• 35:12Speaker 03

  More arguments and mental gymnastics, but you know, they're getting themselves up and dressed. I'm not having to do shoelaces up.

• 35:20Speaker 02

  I just can't believe the difference between the children's moods with each other during summer holiday and normal.

• 35:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:30Speaker 02

  By the end of the summer holiday, they are so done with each other.

• 35:36Speaker 03

  But they best buds again then.

• 35:38Speaker 02

  They're better, well, you know, you know, Rob, you know how it is. We're getting ready for Halloween. Are you, are you a fan of Halloween? Like, you don't like it, do you?

• 35:45Speaker 03

  No, I'm thinking sort of bollocks. Lou and the girls love it. I think they're, I, I normally just don't get involved in Lou and the girls go to a friend's house and they do trick or treat. I mean.

• 35:55Speaker 02

  And you just sit at home like a sad old Scrooge.

• 35:59Speaker 03

  Well, no, I mean.

• 36:00Speaker 02

  And make sure the lights are out so that no one trick or treats you.

• 36:02Speaker 03

  Well, the problem is, the problem is, I'll have to put a mask on.

• 36:05Speaker 02

  I've isolated enough to avoid trick or treating.

• 36:08Speaker 03

  There's just a lot of old people where I live, so there's not many kids. But I'd have to get a mask, because it's a bit unfair on the kids if they go trick or treat and then everyone's like, why's Rob back at there? So you have to go masked up or you become.

• 36:21Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. That Rob Beckett outfit is absolutely spot on.

• 36:27Speaker 03

  Because you get a lot of that. Because they do get a little bit of, they're saying it a bit more now, because they're getting older, people commenting that I'm their dad.

• 36:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:37Speaker 03

  And say, people, because saying, people always say to me, your dad runs Beckett, your, your dad's Rob Beckett, your dad's Rob Beckett, and stuff like that. And I, you know, it's, then it must be annoying. I'm getting the sense that they're finding it annoying.

• 36:49Speaker 02

  Right. Yes. What can you do about that?

• 36:53Speaker 03

  Nothing, actually.

• 36:53Speaker 02

  So you'll just go, do you know what?

• 36:56Speaker 03

  Do you know, they probably can't go when I'm on celeb traitors.

• 36:59Speaker 02

  As a favour to you, as a favour to you, I'll stay at home while you go trick or treating.

• 37:05Speaker 03

  No, not that.

• 37:06Speaker 02

  I'll, I'll just watch the football.

• 37:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I said, what I said was, I said, yeah, they'll say that now, but I know that you are going to be so successful and so talented and skilled in whatever you do, that me being your dad is going to be such a small part of who you become, that people won't even know or care by then.

• 37:29Speaker 02

  Lot of pressure you're putting on them there, Rob.

• 37:32Speaker 03

  Maybe, but I think they will. But it's not pressure if it's an, an unwavable belief as opposed to expectation. I'm not saying you're gonna be, you know, I was like, oh, is that?

• 37:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:45Speaker 03

  Hang on, someone at the door.

• 37:46Speaker 02

  Oh, no, you've got to be kidding me, haven't you?

• 37:49Speaker 03

  Well, I was like, Josh, come on, over the years, it's not like.

• 37:52Speaker 02

  The professionalism.

• 37:54Speaker 03

  It's gone out the, hey, I've got a black backdrop.

• 37:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, to be fair.

• 37:58Speaker 03

  Well, no, but I just, I just sort of tried to dismiss it and go, yeah, but.

• 38:00Speaker 02

  What's happened to the door? You've just ignored the door?

• 38:02Speaker 03

  Yeah. I ignored the door. What?

• 38:06Speaker 02

  Go on, sir.

• 38:07Speaker 03

  No.

• 38:08Speaker 02

  Who is it?

• 38:09Speaker 03

  Some delivery. They'll pop it over the fence or they'll put it in the neighbours. I'm not getting up.

• 38:14Speaker 02

  Chuck it over the fence?

• 38:15Speaker 03

  I'm busy. It's not Fika time. It's business time.

• 38:19Speaker 02

  Well, it is Fika time, actually.

• 38:21Speaker 03

  Shall we like, shall we like Fika? The argument is though, our job's Fika.

• 38:26Speaker 02

  Our job is Fika. How do you take?

• 38:28Speaker 03

  The only thing we, we could do is add in a pastry, which I think Michael, Michael's Fikering for us.

• 38:35Speaker 02

  Can you Fika alone?

• 38:37Speaker 03

  Um.

• 38:39Speaker 02

  I think Michael's Fikering alone.

• 38:40Speaker 03

  Not really. I think that's just called eating.

• 38:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:42Speaker 03

  Fikering, I think the point of a Fika is a group of people coming together to chat.

• 38:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

• 38:48Speaker 03

  I might Fika my neighbours.

• 38:49Speaker 02

  No.

• 38:50Speaker 03

  Just turn up my little pair of shorts, dick swagging around. Fancy a cinnamon bun?

• 38:56Speaker 02

  That's how we call it.

• 39:54Speaker 07

  Major ad networks, advertise on LinkedIn, spend $250 on your first campaign and get a $250 credit, go to LinkedIn.com slash campaign, terms and conditions apply.

• 40:04Speaker 07

  This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Football has a play for just about everything. You can go deep, keep it on the ground or draw up something nobody sees coming. And whether you want to run a flea flicker or the tush push, you need a plan to fit your unique situation. That's why State Farm takes the time to get to know you so they can help personalize coverage for your life and budget. Now that's a solid game plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

• 40:35Speaker 03

  Well, any other, I feel like stuff's gone on this week, but I can't, we're trying to sort out birthday parties.

• 40:41Speaker 02

  I've been away a lot and then, oh yeah, talk to me about birthday parties because you've got, you've got the double December, double dip December coming up, haven't you?

• 40:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, so what we've done is we've brought them slightly earlier to try and spread it out, but we're not going away at Christmas, we're at home all Christmas. So we've got a bit more of a chilled Christmas as we went away before, but we've brought them earlier and I've got a week in the middle. So I think one, one's going to do a skate room and Pizza Express.

• 41:05Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 41:07Speaker 03

  Which will be fun. And then the other one, one is to just do Pizza Express and then go to like the theatre with like one or two friends, but I think that's out the window now. But I think we now may be doing some sort of, it's a place near us in Kent that does like tobogganing, like dry slope tobogganing and like snow things, but on a dry slope. So I think you get an hour of going down this dry slope on toboggans and like rubbering things and make sort of, it just embrace the fact it's going to be cold in December and have winter fun.

• 41:41Speaker 02

  That's fun.

• 41:42Speaker 03

  That is fun. And just like, we've got to just go, look, if you dress for rain and cold, if you're wearing waterproofs and layers, it's fun, isn't it?

• 41:48Speaker 02

  And is it going to be a drop off both those parties?

• 41:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're both drop offs, but I think we may do a drop off at our house and us drive them down there.

• 42:00Speaker 02

  Oh, nice.

• 42:00Speaker 03

  Between the two cars, I think we can get them all in.

• 42:02Speaker 02

  Is that why you could bought a new car?

• 42:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're, well, we're getting, we've got a new car to do big family trips. We get loads, it's a seven seater, Josh.

• 42:09Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, because I remember the conversation where you said, we're thinking of doing this.

• 42:14Speaker 03

  And then, you know me, I always manage to do it immediately.

• 42:16Speaker 02

  You always manage to do it immediately.

• 42:18Speaker 03

  Now I've accepted that's my thought process, life's a lot easier. I have a thought and I'll do it immediately and some pay off, some don't, but that's who I am and I have to live with that.

• 42:27Speaker 02

  Exactly. And that's why you're going back on tour in the middle of 2027.

• 42:29Speaker 03

  A lot, look, a lot more of it pays off than goes the wrong way.

• 42:32Speaker 02

  Exactly, exactly.

• 42:36Speaker 02

  We had a chat about your two phones.

• 42:38Speaker 03

  Yes, I'm thriving with my two phones.

• 42:41Speaker 02

  Are you?

• 42:42Speaker 03

  I'm actually annoying Lou now, but because I've created a little bit of space between me and social media, on Sunday, when Lou was on her phone, the girls are like, Lou, get off your phone. And I was like, yeah, come on, Lou.

• 42:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, here we go.

• 42:54Speaker 03

  I'm not doing it. And that annoyed her a lot.

• 42:56Speaker 02

  Did it?

• 42:57Speaker 03

  Really, really a lot. Because she's just like, just because you've decided to do something for you, why are you making it my problem now as well?

• 43:04Speaker 02

  Well, I've had, I've had a very similar phone call. So I'm, I'm back on the brick. You've inspired me and I'm loving the brick again.

• 43:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:11Speaker 02

  My life, I feel.

• 43:13Speaker 03

  By the way, I'm not completely off social media, like some sort of thingy. I've just avoided it in the evenings and at week, like, so Sunday, we left the house at 10am, I took my personal phone and I didn't look at my work phone till about six in the afternoon and replied to a few messages. So I'm still in contact with people and getting some fun, but I'm not on me all the time, burning hot with messages and emails and notifications.

• 43:33Speaker 02

  This is the thing I'm going to say, all right, I'm going to throw it out there. I think the thing that's, I think the word work and personal is the confusing thing.

• 43:45Speaker 03

  Okay, what do you want me to call it?

• 43:46Speaker 02

  Because I don't think your phone distraction stroke addiction.

• 43:52Speaker 03

  Mm hmm.

• 43:52Speaker 02

  Yeah. Is, is to do with work, it's to do with social media.

• 43:58Speaker 03

  A hundred percent, but part of my work is social media, so I can't eradicate it fully, but if it's on a device I can't access when I'm with my family, that creates less distraction when I'm with them.

• 44:10Speaker 02

  Yes, totally. But I don't, what I don't think you're addicted to is, is.

• 44:15Speaker 03

  Work.

• 44:15Speaker 02

  Is emailing your agent.

• 44:18Speaker 03

  No, but I'm addicted to safety, which comes from booking in work on a deeper psychological level.

• 44:24Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 44:24Speaker 03

  So being, my, my phone going off is almost like that originally, the work one is, oh my God, they want me, they need me, can get money.

• 44:31Speaker 02

  Right, okay.

• 44:32Speaker 03

  And that also, again, that phone, that having that phone relationship drags me back to that way of thinking that I don't need to be like anymore.

• 44:39Speaker 02

  Right.

• 44:40Speaker 03

  So it's almost a confidence thing to go, I cannot look at my phone for an entire day and that doesn't mean my career's over and I'll never earn again.

• 44:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 44:48Speaker 03

  Because I always felt like I had to be on that phone because if I missed an opportunity, I would be an idiot, stupid, what a loser, and you fucked everything up, which is.

• 44:57Speaker 02

  And, and the truth is, your mind is using the excuse of that to then just scroll at TikTok.

• 45:05Speaker 03

  A hundred percent. And I'm not, none of that. And then, but once I'm there, I can't get off those, they're too addictive. So if I've got a little bit of space, but also I do need to be on it slightly, one to sort of promote stuff and see how things are going, but also I do, you do need a little bit of it to be able to access what's going on in the world for my job and being across stuff slightly, but not to the extent I was using it.

• 45:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:30Speaker 03

  So anyway, but that's, it's working for me at the moment, but like I say, it's a work in progress.

• 45:38Speaker 02

  It's a work in progress. And Rose had a question which other people might have, how does Lou know how to contact you on which phone?

• 45:47Speaker 03

  On our, we've got a WhatsApp group called Rob and Lou and in that group is Lou's number and then both of my numbers. So if she wants to message me, she messages me on that group and I will get that message, whatever phone I'm on, because it's going to the group. And then if she wants to ring me, she tries one, if that doesn't answer, tries the other.

• 46:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:09Speaker 03

  But she'll probably know which one I'm on from, if it's the middle of Tuesday, the day on Tuesday, I'll be on my work one, but if it's on the weekend and stuff like that, so just do the WhatsApp group with you two on and then you can message on that.

• 46:20Speaker 02

  There we go, there we go.

• 46:21Speaker 03

  So there you go. So that's what I'm doing. But if you have got a spare old phone, try and do it. It does, it is helping me draw a bit of a line in the sand.

• 46:29Speaker 02

  It is mad that we've reached this space in time where we have to buy a second phone because we're being dragged into these apps.

• 46:38Speaker 03

  But, oh, it's, they're so addicted, it's actual crap. And this stuff is like, like we are, some of the content as well that I'm watching is shite. We're being spoon fed fucking gruel because we're so addicted. It's like a junkie that will take any old crack because it's there. You know what I mean?

• 46:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:57Speaker 03

  And then what people are doing now is creating content that fits that method. We're like foie gras.

• 47:06Speaker 03

  So then like, I'm watching stuff I don't even like, but because the way it's shot that basically, you know, manipulates your eyes and your, or plays off on fear or do this and this is how your life will better, do this, this is how, da, da, da, da, all these things that play into fears and vulnerabilities. And you're like, you're hooked in, but the actual core of you is like, why the fuck am I hooked in? I don't care. I'm not doing this Chinese swinging of arms thing just because it makes you get rid of lymphatic fat, like I'm getting hammered with AI shit about how to talk to people and what exercises to do. So it's like, it's so hard to avoid being dragged into it, so not having it.

• 47:40Speaker 02

  When I was in Paris with you, Ramesh and Tom Davis.

• 47:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:44Speaker 02

  Which wasn't a personal trip, as we've discussed. That I, you three know so much, I, I just about TikTokers and YouTubers.

• 47:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:58Speaker 02

  People I've never, ever heard of. And I think you three are the only adults of my age who I know who know about these people.

• 48:08Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, I mean, you're not into that kind of, you, you've.

• 48:12Speaker 02

  No, no, no, that's not a criticism.

• 48:13Speaker 03

  No, no, but you pulled the drawbridge up at 2003.

• 48:16Speaker 02

  I pulled the drawbridge up at 2008 when I started stand up. That was when I pulled the drawbridge up.

• 48:21Speaker 03

  But yeah, you're not on social media as well.

• 48:24Speaker 02

  Well, I am, but I'm just getting fed different stuff, aren't I?

• 48:27Speaker 03

  What are you getting fed?

• 48:29Speaker 02

  I'm wasting my time as much as you are, but it just feeds me that stuff because you're interested in.

• 48:35Speaker 03

  I'm interested in people, weird people and characters and stuff, and I watch that kind of stuff as opposed to, I go and watch old documentary. I think you'd, you'd watch a good old, like something from the past video where I'm like watching newer stuff.

• 48:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:50Speaker 03

  Like amputation documentaries.

• 48:55Speaker 03

  But the equivalent is like, if you're addicted to something, and I'm addicted to my phone, if I'm going out for the week, if I'm trying to get, stop smoking, right?

• 49:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:02Speaker 03

  And I grab my car keys to drive my car, right?

• 49:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:05Speaker 03

  And go out and there's cigarette and lighter attached to those car keys.

• 49:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:10Speaker 03

  It's going to be impossible not to smoke that day. But I need the keys to get out and that's attached to it. It's the same with your phone. But if I can get a set of car keys without that on it, so I can go out and, you know, move around, park my car, message people back. So anyway, but yeah.

• 49:24Speaker 02

  Has it affected your screen time? I suppose your screen time's split, so you don't know.

• 49:28Speaker 03

  Well, I'm, I'm not, I've got more, it's, well, screen time's bollocks really though, because I could spend three hours tidying a room with a podcast on or a YouTube interview on. And technically it thinks I'm watching that, but I'm not. It's just playing hours. I listen to the audio. So, and also I use it for driving. So I don't, I don't get bogged down in screen time. But I have definitely got more hours and I'm talking to the kids more and I'm not looking at it when I'm out. So I didn't, I took my, um, uh, I took my personal phone to the football with the kids.

• 50:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:01Speaker 03

  There's just nothing to, you know, sometimes you're waiting for a bit, you're a bit bored and the kids are chatting. You just automatically, my thumb does it without me thinking. So I'm just trying to.

• 50:09Speaker 02

  And have you, this is my other question, because this is a slight thing I get with the brick, right?

• 50:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:15Speaker 02

  Is, I find myself.

• 50:18Speaker 03

  With the brick, you can just disable it though, can't you?

• 50:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I don't, because it's.

• 50:22Speaker 03

  Oh, that's good.

• 50:23Speaker 02

  Well, you can, but it's that, it's that thought process. It makes you engage with the thought process. Do you know what I mean? So obviously you do, like, but.

• 50:35Speaker 03

  But I just, the main motivation is.

• 50:37Speaker 02

  Have you replaced social media and stuff like that with weird other things that you find yourself browsing on your phone?

• 50:43Speaker 03

  No, not really. I've, what I've done actually is I've done like, um, like finding time to do other stuff. I sort things out in the house, actually playing a computer game. I know it's like on my, I know it's not.

• 50:56Speaker 02

  Sneaky little Sasquatch.

• 50:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:00Speaker 03

  No, actually I've downloaded a game called, I just, I'm embarrassed to tell you what it is. Because you're going to just rip me to pieces.

• 51:06Speaker 02

  Is it called, um, is it a game where you pretend that you're on tour?

• 51:10Speaker 03

  It's called Lawn Simulator 2.

• 51:12Speaker 02

  Oh my God.

• 51:13Speaker 03

  Where I cut grass in a computer game.

• 51:16Speaker 02

  And what, is it, is there a skill to it or do you just do it?

• 51:18Speaker 03

  It's quite laborious and boring, but for me it engages my brain. I can listen to a podcast, do that. And I'm just not doing any, I'm just in my own little world.

• 51:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, nice.

• 51:28Speaker 03

  I'm not scrolling. So I'm finding I've got more spare time that isn't, you know, involved. And look, the reason I'm doing it is I've got to give my daughter a phone soon. She's going to go into year seven next year. I cannot give her a phone and say, you're not allowed this, you're not allowed that. You're not allowed to be on the phone that much. When I sit there on it, I'm fucking glued to it in the evenings and at weekends. So in the day during the week, that's fine if I need it for work. And also normally because I'm busy, I'm not on it anyway. Because I'm actually physically doing a job or somewhere or something. So anyway, I feel like I'm boring and banging on that. But I've just got to be disciplined and show an example to the girls. Because otherwise they're just going to turn around going, you're on your phone all the time.

• 52:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:06Speaker 03

  And all of a sudden we just all give in and four of us are on our phone all the time.

• 52:10Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, I suppose the problem is you, you've said this, you feel like Lou's on her phone all the time, don't you, Rob?

• 52:17Speaker 03

  No comment.

• 52:20Speaker 03

  No, she's not. She's on the phone less than I was, but, um, and the girls just use any excuse to wind up their parent, don't they? Especially if one's doing something and the other one's not.

• 52:29Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. If one's holy, then thou.

• 52:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know that. And even if I'm not doing it, the kids will jump on that as mum's on her phone all the time, aren't you mum? Because they're just wind ups, they're massive wind ups and they're good at it.

• 52:43Speaker 02

  God.

• 52:43Speaker 03

  And they're my daughters. So Lou's like, you know, getting it hardcore.

• 52:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:48Speaker 03

  Yeah. Anyway, um, but that's what I'm up to. Um, a small business shout out.

• 52:53Speaker 02

  Now it's time for your small business shout outs brought to you by Vista Print, your expert print partner to help bring your ideas to life.

• 53:00Speaker 03

  Uh, for example, shopping bags, get branded shopping bags, basically free advertising because as parents, we're constantly carrying snacks, toys and random bits of rubbish around in them. Now, here we go, Josh. Hi Rob, Josh and Michael. I only found your podcast earlier this year, late to the party. I've binged every single episode since and I nearly caught up to the final.

• 53:19Speaker 02

  That is insane.

• 53:20Speaker 03

  Jesus. Nearly caught up to the final. Good on you. Don't you stop scrolling.

• 53:26Speaker 02

  She's going to have a real cold turkey situation when she has to go down to two a week plus the football one.

• 53:32Speaker 03

  Well, Siobhan, Siobhan, Siobhan, there's a football one for you. So you can crack into that.

• 53:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:37Speaker 03

  And the good thing about the football one is you do not need to keep current with football because we haven't for 15 years.

• 53:43Speaker 02

  No, exactly. We love the past.

• 53:45Speaker 03

  I'd have a small, new and scary business shout out for my four edge painting, book edge painting business. I've finally taken the scary decision to try and make my dream and hobby into a full-time job. I'm yet to make a sale and I'm terrified I've made the wrong decision. I paint scenes onto the edges of books, either by inspiration or commission. These are beautifully created books to sit on your shelf and admire. Also create other commissioned work on canvas and wall murals. Go to Codi Wompler. Oh my God, I got Codi Wompler.

• 54:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:19Speaker 03

  Codi, well, this is wild. So Instagram is Codi, C O D.

• 54:22Speaker 02

  No, no, it's Codi Womple Art.

• 54:25Speaker 03

  Codi Womple Art, okay. I thought my name was Codi Wompler. Hi Codi, Mrs. Wompler here. Codi Womple Art, C O D D I E W O M P L E Art. And that's codiwompleart.co.uk for the website and codiwompleart for the Facebook. Amazing. It was still available really, isn't it, that one?

• 54:50Speaker 03

  And luckily because I'm on my business phone, I can check it out.

• 54:53Speaker 02

  As we say every time, us getting it wrong and talking about the title a lot is a real, is a real win for you on the small business shout out.

• 55:02Speaker 03

  Let's look at the sneaky Sasquatch sales. Codi Womple Art. I mean, too fair, it's better than having Siobhan down because no one can spell Siobhan either. Now, Codi Womple Art has 212 followers. Let's try and get this up very, very high. I followed, that's two, one, three. Uh, four edge artists. Um, all these have looked beautiful. I don't know how this, oh, so she paints the actual pages. Oh, this is incredible.

• 55:23Speaker 02

  Oh, here we go. This is.

• 55:25Speaker 03

  That is good.

• 55:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:26Speaker 03

  She's amazing.

• 55:27Speaker 02

  Everyone go to Codi Womple Art on Instagram if they're using their work phone.

• 55:34Speaker 03

  So she puts the book in a vice. They put the book in a, she puts the book in the vice. So she paints it and it's all close together.

• 55:40Speaker 02

  Oh, that's nice.

• 55:42Speaker 03

  That's clever.

• 55:43Speaker 02

  That is clever.

• 55:44Speaker 03

  Yep. Let's make that small business into a medium to large business or a huge multinational footsie.

• 55:50Speaker 02

  Corporation that we become addicted to.

• 55:54Speaker 02

  Hi Rob, Josh and Michael. Love the podcast. It's been keeping me sane for early mornings, late nights and everything in between with my 10 year old twins. Yes, it is hard and no, they're not identical. I wanted to throw my small business, uh, into the ring for your small business shout out. It's called Brew Jitsu Coffee. I have a passion for gate coffee and recently been inspired by my kids to take up jiu jitsu. This is how Brew Jitsu Coffee was born. Though our brand is inspired by jiu jitsu, it's just.

• 56:23Speaker 03

  Is it? Oh, never.

• 56:25Speaker 02

  It's just as vital for surviving parenthood as it is for training. Every blend is ethically sourced, small batch roast in the UK and designed to help people stay focused, calm and caffeinated. Whether they're training, working or trying to get their kids out the door without a meltdown. Our tagline is fuel your fight. And I think that applies perfectly to parenting too. You can find us at brewjitsu.shop or Instagram, brewjitsu.co. If you fancy giving it a shout, I'd be over the moon. We did. Parenting Hell listeners can get 10% off with the code parenting10. It's a classic. Thanks for all the laughs, therapy through chaos, all the best. Dave.

• 57:01Speaker 03

  Vistaprint.co.uk, print your possible. To get 15% off your first Vista Print order, visit vistaprint.co.uk and use the code parentinghell15. Big up Vista Print for.

• 57:13Speaker 07

  This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Football has a play for just about everything. You can go deep, keep it on the ground or draw up something nobody sees coming. And whether you want to run a flea flicker or the tush push, you need a plan to fit your unique situation. That's why State Farm takes the time to get to know you so they can help personalize coverage for your life and budget. Now that's a solid game plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

• 57:42Speaker 07

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• 57:56Speaker 03

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