Pod Insights Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe S12 EP43: Multi-generational Bad Parenting About this episode More misadventures in parenting, life, and beyond with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe... heatwaves, half-term, and diggerland plans. Enjoy!
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Transcript 10,532 words · 8 speakers
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2:00 Speaker 03 Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with
2:02 Speaker 04 Ribbin, can you see Josh Widdicombe? Josh Widdicombe. And Rob Beckett. Rob Beckett.
2:11 Speaker 05 Oh, there we go, Rob.
2:12 Speaker 03 That was absolutely flawless. Was his name Ribbin?
2:15 Speaker 05 Ruben.
2:16 Speaker 03 Ruben. It sounded like she said Ribbin. Is it an accent? Can I hear it again, please, Josh?
2:21 Speaker 04 Ribbin, can you see Josh Widdicombe?
2:23 Speaker 05 It's Ruben in a Scottish accent.
2:25 Speaker 03 But then it sounds like Ribbin.
2:26 Speaker 05 Ruben.
2:28 Speaker 03 Ruben.
2:28 Speaker 05 Ruben.
2:29 Speaker 03 Josh, can I pick up on your energy?
2:31 Speaker 05 Yeah.
2:32 Speaker 03 I feel like you are relaxed because you've been at home for a few days, but a little bit absolutely depleted because it's been an intense week and you're like happy, chilled, but no energy.
2:42 Speaker 05 As of the time of recording, Rob,
2:44 Speaker 03 Hmm.
2:45 Speaker 05 we are doing this in the midst of packing.
2:48 Speaker 03 Oh.
2:49 Speaker 05 Oh.
2:49 Speaker 03 Okay, for a little week holiday.
2:52 Speaker 05 We're going on holiday for half term.
2:54 Speaker 03 Nice. We're recording this Sunday of the bank holiday weekend at 9:30 AM. Hardcore for your ears, so you little
3:00 Speaker 05 Exactly.
3:01 Speaker 03 saps don't go, oh, they don't put much effort in anymore. We're here, frontline, Sunday. I've got the kids in the office downstairs drawing on the walls.
3:09 Speaker 05 Exactly. Where's Lou?
3:10 Speaker 03 She's in France for a friend's 40th.
3:13 Speaker 05 Oh, lovely. Oh, lovely.
3:14 Speaker 03 I'm loving being at home. She needed a break away. I needed normality at home with the kids.
3:19 Speaker 05 Yep, exactly. So I am quite relaxed, but I don't enjoy packing. And it was my son's birthday, a party. Let me just read out this Ruben thing.
3:30 Speaker 03 Yeah, let's get Ribbin, get Ribbin sorted.
3:31 Speaker 05 This is Ruben, aged 28 months, from Livingston, Scotland.
3:35 Speaker 03 28 months. Is that two years?
3:38 Speaker 05 About 30 seconds after this clip, I had to play Lego with him and pretend to be Josh and Rob. Thanks, Chloe Jacobs.
3:44 Speaker 03 Oh, thanks, Chloe.
3:45 Speaker 05 You might also have noticed the quality of the sound of that production, Rob, because I've got a new phone.
3:50 Speaker 03 Oh, you've got a new phone? What are you going for?
3:52 Speaker 05 Finally upgraded to just the newest iPhone, obviously, because I don't know what I'm talking about. So I just go, can I have this? Can I have the same one, but the modern version?
4:04 Speaker 03 I'm gonna get a Google Pixel for personal and then keep my iPhone for business.
4:08 Speaker 05 Yeah, you talk about this and I don't know what that means.
4:11 Speaker 03 Well, I'll tell you what it means, actually.
4:13 Speaker 05 How do I contact you on our WhatsApp group?
4:15 Speaker 03 No, so that'll be my work one, but what I'll do is
4:17 Speaker 05 What if I want to indulge in some fun banter?
4:20 Speaker 03 Well, that's exactly what the new phone will be for. So what it'll be for is, Josh, I'm going to give a personal number out to friends and one of the agents and say, only in an emergency, call this number. This is like Scorsese's got his trousers down at Claridge's, go there and do your worst, Rob. No. So I'll give, on my personal phone, I won't have social media.
4:46 Speaker 05 Oh, right. So I was gonna say, if I'm honest with you, the work stuff's not the thing that drags me into my phone addiction.
4:53 Speaker 03 No, exactly. But I only really need social media for work. I'm not a big fan. It doesn't bring anything to my life socially.
4:59 Speaker 05 You do spend a lot of time, I don't know if it's changed, you do spend an inordinate amount of time kind of doom scrolling TikTok.
5:06 Speaker 03 Hours, hours.
5:08 Speaker 05 So you're trying to lose that.
5:09 Speaker 03 Trying to lose that. So this is what it'll be. So then I use my work phone from like 10am till 6pm or 5pm in the week. Yeah. Then I put that in a drawer and turn it off until the next morning. And then I do have my other phone and on my other phone is Ringo if I'm driving anywhere for the parking. I'll have a WhatsApp and iMessage, but it'll be a new number and I'll only give this number out to friends and family that won't contact me about work and you'll know that you've got Rob personal.
5:36 Speaker 05 Michael?
5:37 Speaker 03 Michael can have it because sometimes we have banter about football shirts. If he doesn't want it, that's fine as well. I'll give people the choice and I'll have my calendar on it, but I won't have any emails on it, no emails and no social media.
5:49 Speaker 05 I'm excited for this.
5:50 Speaker 03 Yeah. And I'm just gonna float around like a businessman in the eighties. It's just like, well, email shouldn't email.
5:56 Speaker 05 Yeah. And then you've got a gig in the evening and you haven't got the address because the address isn't an email.
6:03 Speaker 03 Yeah, but I will have my work phone then because I'll still be at work.
6:06 Speaker 05 Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah, fine.
6:07 Speaker 03 Yeah. See what I'm saying? This is like for holidays, weekends, now, you know, but then it is, yeah. So that's the plan. I think it's a good plan.
6:15 Speaker 05 I like it. I like it. I like it. I'm just exploring the plan. I'm exploring the plan.
6:20 Speaker 03 Explore the plan. I'm opened up. Dig.
6:22 Speaker 05 Yeah. Okay. So you're lying by the pool on holiday. Are you taking your work phone and putting it in that little safe you get in the hotel room?
6:29 Speaker 03 Yeah. And I'll check it for an hour in the morning.
6:32 Speaker 05 So what are you doing by the pool? Are you gonna have podcasts on this phone?
6:35 Speaker 03 I'm gonna have podcasts on there. I'm gonna have music on there.
6:38 Speaker 05 I'm gonna throw some apps out and I want you to say whether they're on the work phone, on the personal phone on.
6:43 Speaker 03 Personal phone. Yep.
6:44 Speaker 05 Okay.
6:46 Speaker 03 Banking.
6:47 Speaker 05 Banking Amazon?
6:48 Speaker 03 Can I tell you something? And this makes you feel like a seventies house husband. You know, like those dads and men that still have their clothes bought for them by their wives and they pack them.
6:57 Speaker 05 You've never bought anything online?
6:59 Speaker 03 I have never had an Amazon account.
7:01 Speaker 05 What?
7:01 Speaker 03 I've only ever just used logged into lose.
7:03 Speaker 05 On her phone?
7:04 Speaker 03 No, I, I, I will use her login on my phone.
7:07 Speaker 05 Oh, right.
7:08 Speaker 03 But then sometimes I, I'll have to shout downstairs, what's, give me the code.
7:12 Speaker 05 Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
7:14 Speaker 03 I need to purchase something. Give me the code.
7:16 Speaker 05 Are you going to have the Amazon app on your personal phone?
7:19 Speaker 03 Now, this is where it's going to get sticky. Passwords.
7:22 Speaker 05 Passwords.
7:23 Speaker 03 I know none. They're all on my work phone. What, what is current? Just leave my phone.
7:28 Speaker 05 Can I ask why you're going for a different type of phone?
7:32 Speaker 03 Just to hat, so it feels different.
7:33 Speaker 05 Right. That's what you said when you had an affair as well, wasn't it?
7:36 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
7:38 Speaker 05 So, um, what I'd like to discuss with you, Rob, other apps. I'm going to go through my apps actually.
7:44 Speaker 03 Yeah, go on.
7:45 Speaker 05 Are you going to have stuff like Netflix?
7:47 Speaker 03 Maybe, maybe not, but I wouldn't install it immediately. I'd, I'd, I'd see if I need it. Maybe for on holiday and on the plane, I'd have Netflix.
7:54 Speaker 05 iPlayer.
7:55 Speaker 03 iPlayer, Netflix, stuff like that. Yes, I probably will on the personal.
7:59 Speaker 05 Deliveroo?
8:00 Speaker 03 On the personal one, yeah. Also the child coming in. One second. You're right. I'm just recording. Oh, you need the internet. Oh, sorry about this. I should have done this before. I knew there was something.
8:09 Speaker 05 Oh, no.
8:10 Speaker 03 Right. Can you stop playing with baby Yoda? Oh God, hang on. It's all right. I'm just going to look. The kids are with me, Josh, at the office because it's half term.
8:18 Speaker 05 Just give them, just give them your personal phone, Rob, or your work phone.
8:21 Speaker 03 What's that? Well, no, no, they brought their iPads, but I, I forgot to log them in.
8:25 Speaker 05 Oh, no.
8:26 Speaker 03 Right. Oh, no, it's a long one as well. You all right there? You're okay?
8:31 Speaker 05 Not share it?
8:32 Speaker 03 Um, hang on, let's see if, oh yes, it shares. Sorry about this, Josh.
8:37 Speaker 05 All right.
8:37 Speaker 03 Bring the iPad up and I can get you online. Sorry, Josh, Michael. Um, give me some more apps while I'm doing this.
8:45 Speaker 05 Okay. Um.
8:47 Speaker 03 It's a new iPhone. It's massive.
8:48 Speaker 05 No, it's a bit bigger actually, but I didn't go with the big one. I fucking hate those big ones that people go for. Um, so all of my other ones are like, just those things that you just accrue. Do you know what I mean?
9:00 Speaker 03 Yeah, but you need like banking, you need parking and stuff like that.
9:04 Speaker 05 Yeah, all that. So it will work, Robert. It'll work.
9:06 Speaker 03 Yeah, I think it's a really good idea. So that's the plan. And.
9:09 Speaker 05 I think it's an excellent idea.
9:10 Speaker 03 All done. They're online. But yeah, that's the plan. I'll let you know how I get on.
9:14 Speaker 05 Yeah, good idea. So what are you up to for half term?
9:17 Speaker 03 So half term, I'm off for most of it. I've got to do two days of work in the middle. But Lou, so Lou's coming back Tuesday. So we've just been chilling in the garden. The weather's so good.
9:29 Speaker 05 Did you get the call up for that job you were covering on Friday?
9:32 Speaker 03 No, basically, there's jobs in TV where when there's a TV show on and there's a big cast, sometimes they pay people to be on standby. And you don't get paid the full fee, but you get paid a decent fee to sit at home next to your phone, like an emergency plumber.
9:48 Speaker 05 Either phone.
9:48 Speaker 03 It rings. Yeah, either, either. Well, no, that that would be work phone there.
9:52 Speaker 05 Yeah.
9:52 Speaker 03 Um, I wouldn't even have my personal one out because I take standby seriously.
9:56 Speaker 05 Yeah, of course.
9:56 Speaker 03 Actually, but some people don't. Some people just like live their life with their phone. I'm like, no, I'm in and I've got the phone there. I sit at my kitchen table with a glass of water and phone in front of me and I do not move until I get the call.
10:07 Speaker 05 And you think of jokes that you could come up with were you to get the call?
10:11 Speaker 03 Yeah, and I'm dressed in my outfits.
10:12 Speaker 05 Yeah, of course.
10:13 Speaker 03 My comedy outfits and I've got my squirty like fair, squirty flower. I've got my red nose and I'm a clown on standby.
10:20 Speaker 05 Yeah, exactly.
10:21 Speaker 03 Um, but I didn't get the call up, so.
10:23 Speaker 05 But some people will do it for a whole series of something. So they'll often get the call in that situation. Cause if there's like 10 episodes, I'll probably get a dropout. But it does mean that some people are like, I don't know, on standby for the whole series of What I Lie To You with with their lies. Do you know what I mean?
10:43 Speaker 03 Oh, yeah. Yeah, it depends. Yeah, this one wasn't as much prep, so that was all right. But um, yeah, no, I didn't get the call up. Um, so I was just chilling at home. Then I managed, I got the call up at half 10 to tell me I was released. Cause basically some of them. Once everyone arrives at the studio, you're good as gold.
10:58 Speaker 05 So I'm not going to name the show because I think that's a bit unfair. But you know, on some shows, you have to prepare what you're going to talk about. You bring a topic or you'll bring, you'll be doing a bit or whatever.
11:09 Speaker 03 Yeah.
11:10 Speaker 05 I know of a story of a show where you have to bring what you're going to talk about. And each person brings a different thing they're going to talk about. And then someone pulled out and the replacement had to just talk about this topic because they, the whole show was built around it. So you're not just replacing the person and coming in like you were on that show.
11:29 Speaker 03 Right, doing your own thing. You had to replace the.
11:31 Speaker 05 You have to suddenly pretend that this is what you care about and this is what you've brought.
11:35 Speaker 03 Cause all the production that's gone into it. Oh, that's brutal.
11:38 Speaker 05 Because of all the production, yeah. So someone had to come in, your daughter's here.
11:42 Speaker 03 That noise? No, there's some weird noise. What's going on? What have they done? One second. Oh, God.
11:47 Speaker 05 Oh, no. Oh, no. This is a classic old school app. This is a classic old school parenting hell app. Do you know what? I'm going to celebrate by dancing my teabag with my fingers while Rob's not there because he won't see it.
12:01 Speaker 03 One of them just used the toilet and that's the toilet making a noise that it does for a bit after someone's been to the toilet. But normally I'm here on my own.
12:08 Speaker 05 You've never been to the toilet?
12:10 Speaker 03 Well, I have been to, it stopped. I have been to the toilet, but not normally during the pod.
12:14 Speaker 05 Yeah, of course, of course. That would be, that would be awful.
12:17 Speaker 03 Yeah, horrible. Just, oh, don't worry, I'll move the camera.
12:20 Speaker 05 Uh, now.
12:21 Speaker 03 Yeah, go on.
12:22 Speaker 05 My son's birthday, my son's birthday party yesterday.
12:25 Speaker 03 Yes, Diggerland.
12:26 Speaker 05 Diggerland.
12:27 Speaker 03 How was Diggerland?
12:28 Speaker 05 Have you ever been to Diggerland?
12:29 Speaker 03 No, I haven't. It's a bit far, but you know, it's not the kind of one you can do for a day from London.
12:36 Speaker 05 So there's quite a few diggerlands in the UK.
12:38 Speaker 03 Oh, okay.
12:39 Speaker 05 So there's, this is the Devon Diggerland.
12:41 Speaker 03 Yeah, well, just look at HS2. Bloody the whole country's a diggerland, am I right?
12:44 Speaker 05 Here we go. Here we bloody go. Get him on LBC.
12:47 Speaker 03 Yeah, just to get to Birmingham 20 minutes quicker. Come on.
12:51 Speaker 05 Here we go. Here we go.
12:53 Speaker 03 Manchester poo, that's what I call it.
12:54 Speaker 05 Ideally, I'd get to Manchester slower, am I right? Because I don't want to bloody be there, et cetera. Come on, word. Here we go.
13:01 Speaker 03 What? You all right?
13:04 Speaker 03 Yeah, quickly. I've got, you've got, yeah, coming quick.
13:07 Speaker 06 I found this.
13:09 Speaker 03 Yeah, okay. Well, I'll, I'll better take that. Thank you. Okay, so they're in my office. So they're finding stuff that I've not really pre-checked.
13:17 Speaker 05 Oh, no, it's not a porno, is it?
13:20 Speaker 03 No.
13:21 Speaker 05 It's Reader's Lives.
13:22 Speaker 03 It's Creative Sweary Cats, right?
13:25 Speaker 05 Oh no, and it says fuck off on it.
13:27 Speaker 03 Yep, so she said, I've just found this and I don't, and I don't think we should have it. And it's got fuck off written on it. Then the next page is.
13:34 Speaker 05 So what is this?
13:35 Speaker 03 Well, I think To- Tom Elliott, the guy who's the tour manager, he bought it for me as an end of tour present. Cause he's doing colouring in and it says zero fucks given asshole. And it's a picture of a cat with its asshole.
13:46 Speaker 05 And it's a colouring book?
13:48 Speaker 03 Yeah, bollock, bullshit.
13:50 Speaker 05 Yeah.
13:50 Speaker 03 Damn you. Are they not too bad? Dickhead, mm, fuckface, fuck off, fuck this shit, fuck you. Um, cum, oh.
14:00 Speaker 05 Oh no, oh no, oh, that noise. Oh, we're better than that, are we? Oh, cum, oh, that's a shame.
14:09 Speaker 03 Limp dick, motherfucker, nipple dick, piss off slut, twat waffle, wanker. And that's it, yeah. So, yeah, well, well, thanks for giving it to me.
14:22 Speaker 05 Do you know what? Good on him.
14:23 Speaker 03 Good on her.
14:24 Speaker 05 Yeah.
14:24 Speaker 03 She's definitely had a good, I'll read her that.
14:26 Speaker 05 Yeah, yeah. She, I hope she didn't go, oh, cum, that's a shame. That's a real shame.
14:31 Speaker 03 C U M, that's not how it's spelt, dad.
14:33 Speaker 05 We've all let ourselves down here, haven't we?
14:36 Speaker 03 I mean, that's not great parenting, is it? That I've taken her to work, she's found a book with cum written in it. And she said, dad, I don't think we should have this and given it. Who's parenting who?
14:44 Speaker 05 She's not wrong.
14:45 Speaker 03 She's not wrong.
14:47 Speaker 05 She's not wrong.
14:48 Speaker 03 And then I told her off for coming up. Anyway, sorry about that.
14:51 Speaker 05 So we went to Diggerland.
14:53 Speaker 03 Yes.
14:54 Speaker 05 It is brilliant. It was so hot. It was the hottest day.
14:57 Speaker 03 Was that yesterday? That's meant, it was thirty degrees.
15:00 Speaker 05 It was so, I tell you what, Rob.
15:02 Speaker 03 Yeah.
15:02 Speaker 05 Yesterday was a day I felt so fucking smug about not living in Victoria Park.
15:11 Speaker 03 Why, but it wouldn't be good to live near Victoria Park, you live near there?
15:14 Speaker 05 No, Rob, have you been there?
15:16 Speaker 03 Was it too busy?
15:18 Speaker 05 Oh my god, it's, yeah, it's full, the whole of the Victoria Park Village is full of people buying beer to go and sit in the park. It's just absolutely rammed and then the park is immovably full and London is just so fucking hot.
15:33 Speaker 03 London is hot.
15:34 Speaker 05 London is, people don't talk enough about how hot London gets. You know, they talk about how smoggy it was in Victorian times. People need to go, it's gonna be a hot day, which will be great forever, ever London where it's fucking shit.
15:48 Speaker 03 But what, it's, it's, it's like an absolute furnace. But what the problem is though, is that when you go to New York gets hot like that, but then the problem in New York is.
15:57 Speaker 05 It lost the rain in New York then.
15:59 Speaker 03 No, no, not in the summer, it's red hot, but then what happens is you wear shorts and a t-shirt and you go into any shop or restaurant or office and it's freezing with the air con. Where in London, there's not that much air con, you just go into a corner shop or like a off licence and the chocolate's melting.
16:14 Speaker 05 Oh, there's just a, just a guy just dying behind the counter.
16:20 Speaker 03 Boss man's like in a puddle.
16:23 Speaker 05 I tell you what, we went to Chelsea Flower Show on Friday. By we, I mean me, Emma and Jojo.
16:30 Speaker 03 Oh yeah, you knew best mates?
16:31 Speaker 05 My new best mates.
16:32 Speaker 03 You rat.
16:33 Speaker 05 He's sniveling a little rat.
16:35 Speaker 03 Where's my invite? I looked on my personal phone, my work phone, nothing. Just you being held by a massive man.
16:42 Speaker 05 But even Jojo was sweating.
16:44 Speaker 03 How big's Jojo? By the way, Jojo, if you look beyond the dancing and the sort of exuberant personality, he could be a heavyweight boxer. He's an absolute unit.
16:52 Speaker 05 His posture is off the charts.
16:55 Speaker 03 This dancing posture thing, the massive arses and rock hard core is outrageous.
17:00 Speaker 05 Yeah, even Jojo was sweating at Chelsea Flower Show. Jojo's from South Africa.
17:04 Speaker 03 Yeah.
17:05 Speaker 05 Like, so it's too hot in London. So what would happen in London is by now we'd be going, it's going to be almost impossible to go to sleep because our house was boiling.
17:17 Speaker 03 Yes.
17:18 Speaker 05 And we had one air con unit in my daughter's room.
17:21 Speaker 03 With the tube hanging out the window.
17:23 Speaker 05 With the tube hanging out the window and it's so big and heavy.
17:27 Speaker 03 It's mental, isn't it?
17:28 Speaker 05 Corner of the room for 11 months of the year when it's not needed because you couldn't move it somewhere else.
17:34 Speaker 03 It is like a fridge.
17:35 Speaker 05 Yeah, it was unbelievable.
17:38 Speaker 03 Well, because I panicked bought one of them from Currys for like 200 quid. When Lou came back for an operation and I was getting her and where we used to live out the sun would set in our windows. The rooms were absolutely unbearable. So I bought this one unit. So I had an air con unit going in the room. And it was when it was like 40 degrees, you know, 38 degrees, 40 degrees. It was mental. And I had it on full blast at 18 in the room and the room was still 25 degrees.
18:04 Speaker 05 Oh my word, Rob.
18:05 Speaker 03 They're just, and it's so heavy.
18:07 Speaker 05 And they're so heavy.
18:08 Speaker 03 So heavy. And you've got to have the little window open and but you've got to put that little slot.
18:11 Speaker 05 Yesterday evening, Rob, do you know what we did?
18:13 Speaker 03 What did you do?
18:14 Speaker 05 My parents' present to my daughter and son for Christmas, which has been a great present, was that they were going to make them a veg garden.
18:21 Speaker 03 Bit of fucking babysitting now they're nearby.
18:23 Speaker 05 Oh yeah, here we bloody go, well basically.
18:26 Speaker 03 Yeah, pull your finger out. You've done, you've had six years on our part time contract. How about you get up here and put a shift in, yeah?
18:32 Speaker 05 It wasn't quite that.
18:33 Speaker 03 Obviously you couldn't, couldn't do it in London, couldn't do it in London because it was too far. Now we're here, pull your finger out and get babies in. Is that what you said to him? Was that the present?
18:40 Speaker 05 No, that's not the present, no.
18:42 Speaker 03 No, no, no.
18:42 Speaker 05 So they've, in the garden, they've made my daughter and son a veg garden.
18:47 Speaker 03 Ah.
18:48 Speaker 05 And veg and fruits. So they're growing that with them. So they came around at four yesterday. My dad and mum did the garden with my children.
18:56 Speaker 03 So the veg garden's in your garden?
18:59 Speaker 05 In our garden, yeah.
19:00 Speaker 03 Right. So their present to your children is they're digging holes in your garden?
19:03 Speaker 05 I knew you were going to find a hole in it, no pun intended.
19:08 Speaker 03 No, so no, I'm only best. No, that's a lovely thing to do.
19:10 Speaker 05 Good luck with your work, phones, system, Rob. We're all, we'll believe that'll work.
19:16 Speaker 03 No, I'm only ju- I am digging a hole in it just for, you know, podcast.
19:20 Speaker 05 Podcast fun, podcast fun.
19:21 Speaker 03 But it is no point them having it at their house because they won't see the growth every day. I'll be able to do it every day.
19:27 Speaker 05 Exactly. So we just sat out in the garden till about half eight in the evening and it was lovely. And at no point were we thinking, oh my God, you know, it's too hot.
19:37 Speaker 03 We've got to go to bed in a minute.
19:39 Speaker 05 We've got to go to bed in a minute and we're dreading it.
19:40 Speaker 03 So why is that? Just exeter is cooler and you've got more space and there's a bit of a breeze. Cause where you were before, you're in a terrace house.
19:48 Speaker 05 A, we've got a garden.
19:49 Speaker 03 Well, you had a garden before, but it's like a pack.
19:50 Speaker 05 Yeah, but it was a, it was the size of this room and it was packed onto other gardens.
19:56 Speaker 03 And it was like a boxed in patch. Yeah.
19:58 Speaker 05 Yeah. So you're not like, this is my oasis. Do you know what I mean?
20:02 Speaker 03 And there's no breeze.
20:03 Speaker 05 There's no breeze. It's cooler. The whole house is cooler because, because London's so built up. It's why is your house cooler than, why not, why is your house, but why you live is cooler. Cause there's not a billion buildings around you and loads of vehicles and all kinds of things that make it warm presumably.
20:19 Speaker 03 Well, yeah, underground, the underground as well.
20:21 Speaker 05 Yeah. So London's just boiling. So it's not as boiling. We've got a lot more room. I had to go and trade in my old iPhone. I just got a lovely bus into town, six minutes, went to the Apple store, did it, came back. Previously, Rob, previously. I'd have been driving to Westfield, struggling to get a parking space. Everyone's in there because it's air conditioned. Queuing up to get an appointment. Oh, Rob.
20:49 Speaker 03 Exactly. So now, now, now your life's much easier and you're not, you know, gonna have.
20:53 Speaker 05 Here we go, here we go.
20:58 Speaker 05 Here we go.
20:58 Speaker 03 Even you now, the mechanics work. And now you could just really enjoy that when you're getting a train to and from London twice a week, every week forever now.
21:08 Speaker 05 I had a bit of a bad one on Friday, Rob. I had a bad one after Chelsea Flower Show.
21:12 Speaker 03 So you had to go back up to London again?
21:13 Speaker 05 Oh, I popped up for the Chelsea Flower Show because I love Chelsea.
21:16 Speaker 03 I just popped up, quick six, seven hour journey, round trip pop up.
21:20 Speaker 05 Well, minimum on Friday is bank holiday.
21:24 Speaker 03 So bank holiday Friday, what time are you leaving?
21:26 Speaker 05 Two. Yeah. So I went up early, few hours, Chelsea Flower Show.
21:30 Speaker 03 Yeah.
21:31 Speaker 05 Get to Paddington, points failure, all the trains are delayed. Luckily, I managed to get one. It's actually earlier than the train I need because it's the one before that's been delayed. I'm winning at life.
21:41 Speaker 03 I like that. That's nice.
21:43 Speaker 05 Yeah. I'm just chilling. Get beyond Reading. Train stops. Bad news. We're gonna have to go back to Reading. We can't proceed.
21:52 Speaker 03 No, no one ever wants to go back to Reading. No offence, Reading.
21:56 Speaker 05 Going back to Reading, can't proceed.
21:58 Speaker 03 Oh.
21:59 Speaker 05 So I go back to Reading. Everyone gets de-trained, as they say. Go to platform 12 or whatever. We get to platform 12. It is two sets of people on one train.
22:12 Speaker 03 Yeah.
22:12 Speaker 05 You know, ivory tower concerns. I'm thinking, it's fine. I've got a first class ticket.
22:17 Speaker 03 And because you do the last leg and some people presume that you're disabled. Do you ever maybe start a little limp towards a seat and they just assume you might be Booker?
22:28 Speaker 05 No, I've never mistaken for Alex.
22:30 Speaker 03 Because I've been accused of being you and disabled numerous of times.
22:34 Speaker 05 Yeah, well, yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:35 Speaker 03 Like, they've said, you're Josh Widdicombe and put me in accessibility room in hotels more than once.
22:40 Speaker 05 Yeah, I've, yeah, yeah, no, no, that hasn't. I didn't, I don't do that because, you know, I'm a public figure and trains, we've all seen, you know, you don't want to sit in the wrong clothes.
22:48 Speaker 03 You don't strictly star stealing seat in disability claim.
22:53 Speaker 05 Before you know it, Rob, I've decided I think it's fine. I'm first class here, Rob. I've paid the extra. Here we go.
23:00 Speaker 03 You should have space.
23:02 Speaker 05 I get to first class.
23:03 Speaker 03 Yeah.
23:03 Speaker 05 There's no space. I sit on the floor, do the full Jeremy Corbyn because I don't want to stand up for three hours. So I make a space amongst the luggage on the floor.
23:14 Speaker 03 See, I sit on the luggage rack, the top bit of the luggage rack.
23:17 Speaker 05 What, the thing above people?
23:19 Speaker 03 No.
23:23 Speaker 05 You just lie in there?
23:26 Speaker 03 Just a little coughing lie. No, no, on South Eastern trains.
23:29 Speaker 05 I'd love to get on a train.
23:33 Speaker 03 Bit snug, innit? Where you been? Just been to the flower show with Jojo and Emma?
23:38 Speaker 05 Pass me a fucking tea up here.
23:41 Speaker 03 Anyone got any red bush? I'm gasping.
23:44 Speaker 05 Boiling up here.
23:46 Speaker 03 No, on the South Eastern, they've got like, because it's a commuter train, they've got like a little luggage rack that's about as wide as your shoulders, and about as deep as you just thought was a thighs. So it's like, it's where you put like little backpacks rather than big suitcases.
24:00 Speaker 05 Yeah, right. Yeah, no, no, they haven't got that on GWR.
24:03 Speaker 03 And you could, I sometimes used to jump up and snuggle in there.
24:05 Speaker 05 Yeah, yeah. No, so I'm on the floor, leaning on a bag, thinking, obvious jealousy to the people in the chairs, but then gloriously, three old people get on.
24:17 Speaker 03 Yeah.
24:18 Speaker 05 And they go, we're gonna need three people to leave their seats.
24:22 Speaker 03 Oh.
24:22 Speaker 05 And the tension in the room is incredible.
24:26 Speaker 03 How old are these people, though?
24:27 Speaker 05 Oh, they're.
24:29 Speaker 03 Definitely. There's no question.
24:31 Speaker 05 There, there's no, there's no way they're standing. And then these people had to move. So then I'm thinking I'm sat on the floor for three hours here.
24:37 Speaker 03 Yeah.
24:38 Speaker 05 And then we're left for half an hour, still haven't left. And then they declare there's another train going to Exeter. Anyone who's going to Exeter, move on to this train. So I run across to the other platform, get a seat, my third train home.
24:50 Speaker 03 And what time did that leave after your, was that much?
24:52 Speaker 05 I got home at 6pm. I got to Paddington at half one.
24:56 Speaker 03 Right, cool.
24:57 Speaker 05 Yeah. And then I was going to the beach.
25:00 Speaker 03 Well, it's good because going forward, you won't be needing to get the train on Fridays and Saturdays. So you should be fine.
25:05 Speaker 05 I'll be fine, yeah. Yeah. I'm getting the train up first thing on Friday. That's what I'm doing.
25:10 Speaker 03 Okay.
25:11 Speaker 05 Yeah, with my work and personal phone in either pocket.
25:14 Speaker 03 Oh, one in each, one in each pocket and two separate headphone cases, one for personal, one for business.
25:19 Speaker 05 Of course, you'll have to do that.
25:21 Speaker 03 Absolutely.
25:25 Speaker 05 This episode is brought to you by New Purcell Non-Bio Ultra Stain Removal Capsules.
25:29 Speaker 03 Josh, how much washing do you think you guys get through?
25:33 Speaker 05 Oh mate, so much. Because you're kids, right? Obviously. It's not like they're keeping their clothes clean is their priority. Do you know what I mean?
25:40 Speaker 03 No.
25:40 Speaker 05 Having fun is their priority.
25:42 Speaker 03 Yes.
25:43 Speaker 05 So you could be getting through more than one outfit in the day because, you know, they'll go play in the garden, they'll jump on the trampoline, but it'll be muddy to get to the trampoline or whatever. But you've got to just accept that because that's being a kid. Do you know what I mean? You don't want to be going to your kid, "Oh, this is important." You want them to be enjoying their life, right?
26:01 Speaker 03 Well, when I got my daughter that hot chocolate, she had like a white jumper on and was driving along. I was like, "Have some hot chocolate if you want." And I was like, "She's definitely going to spill that on her jumper." But I'm like, "Do you want to be the dad that's like, 'Take the jumper off, put this aside because you might spill it, drink it.'" You know, "No, just let her learn. Let her dribble down the top. We can wash it when we get home."
26:18 Speaker 05 Exactly. Because that stain, Rob, says, "I'm having a fun time."
26:22 Speaker 03 Yes.
26:23 Speaker 05 Your grass stains on your trousers, they say, "I've had a fun time outside."
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26:46 Speaker 03 Even when you're covered in hot chocolate.
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27:25 Speaker 02 This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Football has a play for just about everything. You can go deep, keep it on the ground, or draw up something nobody sees coming. And whether you want to run a flea flicker or the tush push, you need a plan to fit your unique situation. That's why State Farm takes the time to get to know you so they can help personalize coverage for your life and budget. Now that's a solid game plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
27:57 Speaker 05 So the other thing is, we went to the beach on Friday night after school.
28:01 Speaker 03 Oh.
28:02 Speaker 05 Exmouth Beach, had a lovely time. Oh, so my daughter and her friend were doing a gymnastics and dance display for us.
28:10 Speaker 03 Yeah.
28:11 Speaker 05 And my daughter said, oh dad, daddy, could you announce it like you're hosting Strictly? And I was like, I'm not gonna do that.
28:18 Speaker 03 Oh.
28:19 Speaker 05 Because if anyone sees me and goes, do you know what? I walked past Josh Whittaker, he was making his family play that he was the host of Strictly.
28:32 Speaker 03 Yeah, but you're not playing, you are.
28:34 Speaker 05 But I'm mad, you know, he was on field as the host of Strictly. Three days later, he's got his family on the beach and he's making them practice.
28:41 Speaker 03 Nah, I think do it. Also, we have got, the good thing now about podcasts and social media is you've now got a platform to explain what you're doing. So no one, if anyone, because now if people read a newspaper headline of you or Emma or Joe or anyone in the public eye, what I do is if there's a mad claim, Josh Whittaker in crazy Strictly performance on beach in front of children, I just think, well, that's obviously not what's happened. That's just the headline they've done to do clickbait. So I'll read it and then I'll find whoever they're talking about on their social media and see the clip explaining what's going on.
29:13 Speaker 05 Yeah, so this is my version of that.
29:15 Speaker 03 Yeah.
29:16 Speaker 05 So there you go. But yeah, I did do, I did do it slightly. I did the voiceover bit, it isn't me, you know, the dancing.
29:21 Speaker 03 Oh, go on, give us a little blast, give us a little blast.
29:23 Speaker 05 Dancing the cha-cha is Robyn Lou.
29:26 Speaker 03 Ah, we've not danced for years.
29:29 Speaker 05 So then we went to Diggerland on Saturday.
29:30 Speaker 03 Nice.
29:31 Speaker 05 It is great. Let me show you one of the rides, Rob. Let me show you one of the rides.
29:36 Speaker 03 So they got rides. I just thought you just got in diggers and moved dirt.
29:39 Speaker 05 Well, this is a digger meets a ride. Okay. Do you want me to send this to your personal or to a business?
29:45 Speaker 03 Business. This is a strictly business interaction. No, no, but when at now, I'd have my work phone with me because I'm at work.
29:51 Speaker 05 Yeah, of course. No, I know. So yeah, this is the ground shuttle.
29:55 Speaker 03 Oh, so it's like, Rose is absolutely loving it. So it's a digger lifting up what is a massive pallet with people on.
30:05 Speaker 05 Yeah.
30:05 Speaker 03 And he's just driving you around on a bit of mud.
30:07 Speaker 05 Just swinging them around and bouncing them up and down.
30:10 Speaker 03 I wouldn't call that a ride.
30:12 Speaker 05 They were loving it.
30:13 Speaker 03 It looks mental.
30:15 Speaker 05 Yeah.
30:16 Speaker 03 What a job. How has that got Park's health and safety?
30:20 Speaker 05 Oh, he did a great, he did a great bit of patter beforehand.
30:23 Speaker 03 It looks about a thousand degrees. It looks like you're like, you know, like a dust bowl in Spain.
30:27 Speaker 05 Yeah. He did a great bit of patter beforehand. He said, um, if anyone has a problem during the ride, put your hands up and I'll ignore you.
30:36 Speaker 05 Bit of fun.
30:38 Speaker 03 There we go. So where are you on this ride? Is that you filming Rose on it?
30:41 Speaker 05 No, because I was filling the car with presents and then I came back.
30:45 Speaker 03 And they were on it.
30:46 Speaker 05 And suddenly everyone was on this ride and I wasn't. So I just filmed it.
30:51 Speaker 03 That's so funny. That's great fun. So where is Diggerland?
30:55 Speaker 05 That one was in Columpton, but there's ones all around the country.
31:00 Speaker 03 You what?
31:01 Speaker 05 Columpton.
31:04 Speaker 03 They love it down there, don't they?
31:05 Speaker 05 Yeah.
31:06 Speaker 03 Don't chuck a P and a B in any word, any word they can find.
31:11 Speaker 03 Oh, there's one in Kent.
31:12 Speaker 05 There's one in Kent.
31:13 Speaker 03 Half an hour from me.
31:14 Speaker 05 There you go.
31:15 Speaker 03 I might just take the kids Diggerland on a surprise mission.
31:18 Speaker 05 Do it.
31:19 Speaker 03 I'm looking at the photos and they are really, there's a lot of diggers.
31:23 Speaker 05 Yeah.
31:24 Speaker 03 No, I don't.
31:25 Speaker 05 Do you know what? I didn't, I know this sounds mad because it's called Diggerland. I didn't expect it to be as diggery as it was.
31:32 Speaker 03 So digger, there's so many digger. I thought there'd be like little diggers that you could.
31:37 Speaker 05 We got to, you had a go on a digger as well, picking up, um, like doing the thing and picking up dirt. It was great.
31:43 Speaker 03 Well, do you know what must it feel like for a builder to take their kids there?
31:48 Speaker 05 I know.
31:48 Speaker 03 To pay to do that when you're like, I could just bring them to work.
31:51 Speaker 05 There was loads of really ripped blokes, Rob.
31:54 Speaker 03 Yeah, but Diggerland's quite alpha, isn't it? It's like, if you're a proper alpha male, you're like, I'm not going Legoland, I'll go Diggerland.
32:00 Speaker 05 Yeah.
32:01 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's a bit more geezer, isn't it?
32:03 Speaker 05 Yeah.
32:03 Speaker 03 My boys into diggers.
32:04 Speaker 05 Yeah.
32:05 Speaker 03 Yeah, a bit like you, you and your tribe.
32:08 Speaker 05 Yeah, exactly. So it was fun. Tell me about your parenting.
32:10 Speaker 03 Well, I've got another idea for a bit of correspondence.
32:13 Speaker 05 Okay.
32:14 Speaker 03 Um, I've got an example of it and you can tell me. I'm gonna call it solidarity or solid Karen.
32:20 Speaker 05 Right, okay, here we go.
32:21 Speaker 03 So basically, I told someone an issue about their child and sort of by the, and their parenting, but I don't know if I was
32:28 Speaker 05 A word.
32:29 Speaker 03 A show of solidarity as another parent, or it was solid Karen.
32:33 Speaker 05 What did you say? This is huge.
32:36 Speaker 03 Yeah, I know, it's quite fun.
32:38 Speaker 05 So this wasn't someone from school?
32:40 Speaker 03 No, this is separate stranger.
32:42 Speaker 05 Stranger danger.
32:43 Speaker 03 So I'm paying for my parking in a car park and then there's a car, it's really hot, thirty degrees, like probably eleven AM, for about twenty eight degrees, eleven AM, to set this in, half eleven. I know it is that actually, because I dropped the kids. Anyway. Walk past a car, all the windows are open, there's a sort of, looks like a grandmother in the front passenger seat, just reading a book, sunglasses on, chilling out. Behind her is a one and a half year old asleep in the car seat with the window open, yeah?
33:11 Speaker 05 Yeah.
33:11 Speaker 03 Fully sparco, but laying there, the sun is directly on the baby's face, like full pel, nothing shielding it like that. So I was like, that is gonna burn that kid's face off unless the kid's got cream on. But even with cream, you shouldn't let a baby sleep in direct sun.
33:29 Speaker 05 Yeah.
33:29 Speaker 03 So I'm like, right, do I say something?
33:31 Speaker 05 So where's the driver? Where's the mum?
33:33 Speaker 03 Don't know where the mum or the dad is, or the grandad in the shop, I imagine, shopping.
33:38 Speaker 05 It's just an empty car?
33:40 Speaker 03 No, no, no, the nan's in the front seat.
33:41 Speaker 05 Oh, right, okay.
33:42 Speaker 03 So there's a grandmother, I think, or an older mum in the passenger seat, just reading whilst they're, so they've got, I'll stay with the baby, you go and do the shopping.
33:49 Speaker 05 Oh, okay, yeah.
33:50 Speaker 03 Sun's right on the baby's face. So I'm like, well, maybe the sun moved a bit or whatever, or they're oblivious. So I just walked past, went, oh, just so you know, the sun's right on their face while they're sleeping?
34:02 Speaker 05 Yeah, I think, I think that's fair.
34:04 Speaker 03 And she went, oh, okay, thanks. And then I walked off, but I was like, I don't know where that lies.
34:10 Speaker 05 I think that's fine, because I, I, I don't think you've gone in and you've gone.
34:14 Speaker 03 Excuse me, you're burning your child's head.
34:17 Speaker 05 You need to deal with this, because this is unacceptable, what you're doing.
34:21 Speaker 03 Yeah, that's Karen, isn't it? Well, I, I think what I did was raise awareness for them.
34:26 Speaker 05 Yeah.
34:26 Speaker 03 Because when I went off, they did go to the door and get like a muslin and put it, you know, the classic, put it in the door so it hangs down with shade.
34:34 Speaker 05 So I think you're in the right there, Rob, because you handled it in the right way, because you are criticizing her, obviously.
34:39 Speaker 03 Yes, but file it under solidarity.
34:42 Speaker 05 So if I came to your tour show.
34:45 Speaker 03 Hmm.
34:45 Speaker 05 And I said, that routine about, you know, car boot sales simply isn't good enough. That would be bad. But if I said, have you ever thought about maybe putting a better observation at the start of that car boot sale routine? And it might help it throughout.
35:05 Speaker 03 Do you know what I'd say to you? I'd say, shouldn't you be on a train at Paddington Home? Rather than bothering me after my show.
35:13 Speaker 05 Yeah, you'd be right.
35:14 Speaker 03 No, but then I did think though, Josh, if she said, no, the baby's fine.
35:18 Speaker 05 Then, then you're in a tricky position.
35:20 Speaker 03 I would have said something, I would have gone, well, the baby's not, and you're a terrible parent. That child needs shade.
35:26 Speaker 05 Yeah.
35:26 Speaker 03 And if you don't put shade on that child, I'm going to take down your details, your car registration and report you to the social services. Now get the muslin out and put the shade up.
35:36 Speaker 05 Yeah.
35:37 Speaker 03 Um, anyway, send in your solidarity or solid Karens, whether you've done it or had it done to you. And then we can decide if it's solidarity or solid Karen.
35:45 Speaker 05 I think a lot of it's down to the phrasing, isn't it? It's not the what, it's not the request, it's the phrase.
35:52 Speaker 03 Yes.
35:52 Speaker 05 Do you know what I mean? It's how you frame it.
35:54 Speaker 03 Well, I don't know if you know, but the baby's face is in the sun, just, just to let you know. That's nice, wasn't it? I did it. Okay, so I'm not a solid Karen.
36:03 Speaker 05 So what do you think's happened? The mum's gone in or the dad and the grand's been left in the car.
36:08 Speaker 03 And probably oblivious to the the son on the child's face.
36:12 Speaker 05 Yeah, exactly.
36:12 Speaker 03 So just, you know, multi-generational bad parenting. Hey, it happens.
36:16 Speaker 05 Multi-generational bad parenting. Exactly, exactly, Rob. That's, you know, it's a story as old as time.
36:21 Speaker 03 Sometimes the mother-in-law and the mother and the father and the father-in-law don't know best. But you know who knows best? Bobby B. That's right.
36:29 Speaker 05 Exactly. So what are you doing for half term? Have you got plans for half term or are you winging it?
36:34 Speaker 03 No, we're having a chilled one because Lou's working and I'm working. So it's a lot of like logistics. So because it was hot on yesterday, we had a little barbecue in the garden and I put a sprinkler up. Then today we're doing the podcast and then this afternoon we're going to, Tom Allen's got a book out, Common Decency, which I've started reading and it's absolutely brilliant.
36:55 Speaker 05 I meant to Instagram about that, but I deleted my Instagram.
36:57 Speaker 03 He's Alan Bennett for a new generation.
37:00 Speaker 05 He is.
37:01 Speaker 03 With just such vivid description of sort of mundane, normal life.
37:06 Speaker 05 Yep.
37:06 Speaker 03 This is what I sent to him about it because I actually am really enjoying it and I struggle with novels sometimes. I said, you paint such a beautiful, alluring and funny picture of what could be a boring suburban street. It's a real skill, such a USP, making the mundane exciting. I think this could be your true calling. I hate all the spy action dragon novels. Too hard to imagine a dragon, but I can already picture your characters. And if you can do that to someone with ADHD and dyslexia, then all the novel fans are going to jizz everywhere.
37:31 Speaker 05 Oh, that's nice. Yes, it is brilliant.
37:34 Speaker 03 He wouldn't put that quote on the book.
37:35 Speaker 05 No, of course.
37:36 Speaker 03 But, you know, each to their own, you know, he put you on the back of the book. Don't worry about it. No problem. So he's having a little book celebration. So we're going to his garden in the afternoon.
37:46 Speaker 05 Oh, nice.
37:47 Speaker 03 Then tomorrow we're going to the neighbours. They've got a big paddling pool and they're going to have a barbecue there. Tuesday, we're having a chill day. I go to work, Lou comes back from her trip. Then Lou's taking them out somewhere Wednesday for a day trip. And then Thursday, I think they're just chilling at home. Then Friday, I'm back in the game. Lou's doing a book tour at Hay on Wyre Festival and I'm taking them to my mum and dad's for a day trip down to Margate. And then Saturday, Sunday, we've got just a chilled weekend. We're just trying to, they're so tired, the kids.
38:20 Speaker 05 Yeah.
38:22 Speaker 03 So we're just trying to relax and float about and with no plans. I think it's nicer sometimes, especially when the weather's like this.
38:32 Speaker 05 Okay, now for a special part of the show called Holiday Heaven, where we give you our top tips and tricks for making the most out of your holiday and your money whilst you're there.
38:42 Speaker 03 And it's brought to you by Monzo. You can pay with your Monzo card anywhere in any currency with no foreign transaction fees.
38:49 Speaker 05 Now, Rob, I know you're gonna like these words. Let's talk about holidays.
38:54 Speaker 03 Ah, it's what I live for.
38:56 Speaker 05 It's what you live for. You hate your mundane experience, don't you, Rob? You live to be away.
39:02 Speaker 03 I love a holiday. It's our favourite thing. At the age of 40, I've worked myself in a position to have, I'd say, slightly fancier holidays than I used to have.
39:12 Speaker 05 Of course.
39:12 Speaker 03 However, still one of my favourite holidays ever. When I was, I think I was 22, 21, I went round Europe on the trains. I got that ticket. I don't think they do it anymore, where you've got unlimited train travel. So that was like a few hundred quid. And then the rest of the time, we were in hostels, we were eating food and getting food from supermarkets and stuff like that. And that was a proper adventure. I still, I loved it. At one point, I was getting crisps and scooping out cream cheese with the crisps for my dinner.
39:43 Speaker 05 I don't, I don't consider that a tip.
39:45 Speaker 03 I don't know if that's a holiday.
39:46 Speaker 05 Don't consider that a holiday. But this is the thing, right?
39:48 Speaker 03 Yeah.
39:49 Speaker 05 Holidays are not just about spending loads of money. Like, when I was a kid, I remember we used to go to Wales, South Wales, Pembrokeshire, lovely.
39:56 Speaker 03 Yeah.
39:57 Speaker 05 My dad would like, get the amount of cash out for the holiday, because it was a cash society in those days.
40:02 Speaker 03 Oh, absolutely, yeah.
40:04 Speaker 05 And then he'd know how much cash for the holiday. It's a good way of doing it. Put the amount of money aside for the holiday.
40:10 Speaker 03 Now, in Monzo, you can do that in Monzo.
40:12 Speaker 05 Exactly. And then you know where you are with the holiday. You're not working on a day-to-day basis. You've got the holiday's budget and you can just roll with it.
40:19 Speaker 03 Well, we thought what we did with my mates, we all agreed what our budget was gonna be. So we all agreed that we were gonna spend X amount a day. And then that, and we'd had an amount, and then we knew that that would cover us for that amount of time. Because what we don't want, go travelling with someone that's got loads more money than you, and then it feels a bit awkward, where someone wants to stay here or there.
40:37 Speaker 05 Exactly.
40:37 Speaker 03 So we've sort of found that challenge of like, trying to find a cheap pint. It's part of the deal of, you know, we've got X amount a day to go travelling.
40:45 Speaker 05 Also, Rob, do you want, do you want a money-saving tip?
40:47 Speaker 03 Go on.
40:47 Speaker 05 If you're at a place with a breakfast buffet, steal some bloody pastries for the rest of the day, mate.
40:52 Speaker 03 Oh mate. I do that. I always make a little plane, a little plane baguette where I'd basically fill it with all the lovely delicious stuff from breakfast and then eat it on the plane and everyone will be jealous of my plane baguette. I did that on the way back from Seville.
41:05 Speaker 05 That's totally within the rules. That's totally within the rules.
41:08 Speaker 03 Also, it's good for kids because they're not hungry, but you know they're going to be desperate for a cross on in about an hour.
41:12 Speaker 05 Exactly, exactly.
41:13 Speaker 03 Also, what we do is when we go to hotels, sometimes you go to like a all-inclusive or a half-board hotel where you get the food, but sometimes kids want snacks and they want sweets and treats that aren't always at the hotel. Google the local supermarket, have a little trip out. That's what we do as well with inflatables. In the hotels, they're always really expensive, but if you find a little shop nearby.
41:34 Speaker 05 Yeah.
41:34 Speaker 03 Go and buy a cheaper inflatable there.
41:36 Speaker 05 What do you think the biggest travel rip-off is though, Rob?
41:38 Speaker 03 Hotel minibars still stress me out.
41:41 Speaker 05 I don't think if I was Jeff Bezos, I would still be able to justify using hotel minibar.
41:47 Speaker 03 It's a principle thing, isn't it? It's like, I know that Kit Kat is not £4 at the shop I can see from my window.
41:54 Speaker 05 I can't spend £3.50 on a packet of crisps, whatever my financial situation.
42:00 Speaker 03 Now, Josh, I hope some of that is of some use to the listeners.
42:03 Speaker 05 I think it is. And with Monzo, you can spend on your card just as you do at home and there's no surprises. You'll get instant spend notifications showing what you're spending in local currency in pounds and you'll see the real-time exchange rates in the app as you spend. So you know exactly how much you spent on slushies and pool floaties.
42:23 Speaker 03 Monzo, download your new favourite bank. To apply for a Monzo current account, you must be 16 plus and a UK resident. Ts and Cs apply.
43:00 Speaker 02 This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Football has a play for just about everything. You can go deep, keep it on the ground, or draw up something nobody sees coming. And whether you want to run a flea flicker or the tush push, you need a plan to fit your unique situation. That's why State Farm takes the time to get to know you, so they can help personalize coverage for your life and budget. Now that's a solid game plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
43:32 Speaker 05 Well, I'm very excited. I'm quite interested to see how this holiday plays out because they're a lot more confident as swimmers than they were last year. And so I'm wondering if I'm not going to be having to go in every single time. Do you know what I mean?
43:48 Speaker 03 Can I tell you where you're going to be? Sat on the edge of the pool with your feet in.
43:51 Speaker 05 Yeah.
43:51 Speaker 03 Watching.
43:52 Speaker 05 I'll tell you that.
43:53 Speaker 03 Close enough to jump in, but you're not in in.
43:55 Speaker 05 Yeah. Someone walking past going, do you know what? You want to get some shade on that dad because that dad is getting absolutely belted in the sun. Get a muslin over there.
44:06 Speaker 03 Get a big hat. You need a big bucket hat, that's what you need.
44:08 Speaker 05 I'm not sure if I do need a big bucket hat, yeah. But I am looking forward to it.
44:12 Speaker 03 We're going to stop you burning.
44:14 Speaker 05 No, I know, I know, but I don't know whether I'd go bucket hat. Maybe I'd go with one of those.
44:18 Speaker 03 You need a nice holiday after all the touring and all the work.
44:20 Speaker 05 I know. Rose has already kind of said, you know, it's been a tough few months for her. So I think I'm going to have to take quite a lot of the strain on the holiday and I think that's fair.
44:32 Speaker 03 Yeah. She's done most of the parenting. You've done no parenting.
44:35 Speaker 05 Well, no, I have done some parenting. I videoed them on a digger yesterday.
44:40 Speaker 03 I'd say you've done three. You've done actually less than me, which is almost impossible the last few months.
44:45 Speaker 05 Well, yes, but that's because my tour was slightly jutting out at the end of yours, wasn't it? So I was still touring when you weren't. Yeah.
44:53 Speaker 03 Yeah, but let's not point fingers.
44:55 Speaker 05 But second half of the year is more or less clear.
44:58 Speaker 03 Stop saying that because it's definitely not. You've just got the biggest job in TV.
45:01 Speaker 05 Well, Director General of the BBC.
45:04 Speaker 03 Well, give it time. You're a couple of cha-chas away from that. In my experience of hosting Strictly.
45:10 Speaker 05 If I was Director General of the BBC, I'd resign within a week because I would be so bad at it.
45:16 Speaker 03 It's too much stress, too many meetings.
45:18 Speaker 05 Too much stress.
45:19 Speaker 03 I can't do seriously. Imagine having to do press where you have to be serious rather than.
45:23 Speaker 05 I know.
45:23 Speaker 03 You did very well on Good Morning Britain the other week, by the way, like a politician that was, your little slippery ill.
45:29 Speaker 05 Oh, thank you. Yeah, that was fun, wasn't it?
45:32 Speaker 03 I loved what you said about the, um, a perfect couple and you was alluding to Ed Balls and Susanna Reid. Took them too long to clock.
45:40 Speaker 05 I know. It was slightly annoying. I'm like, come on, guys. Come on, guys.
45:44 Speaker 03 Way too long to clock. You were really doing some legwork.
45:47 Speaker 05 Come on, guys. Do you want me to spoon feed you this fucking joke, Ed?
45:51 Speaker 03 Do you want to meet me in the middle, Ed? How about you get your eyes open and ears open? Don't worry about what you're saying next. Yeah?
45:57 Speaker 05 You booked a comedian last time I checked, but turns out you're treating me like you've booked Neil Kinnock. Come on, Ed. Jeez.
46:06 Speaker 03 Ballsy weren't letting you go, was he?
46:08 Speaker 05 What do you think this is? It's a joke. It's a joke, Ed. Come on. Come on, Ed. Let's have a laugh. And you, Susanna.
46:16 Speaker 03 Yeah, no, she was sort of a bit moral, but he was a dog with a bone. You weren't getting an exclusive out of old J Doubles. That you were about that. He's too long in the tooth.
46:25 Speaker 05 I've learnt from the best, Ed. You.
46:27 Speaker 03 You. We interviewed you, Ed, and we got loads from you. Oh, I burnt all the hairs on my arms doing a barbecue yesterday.
46:34 Speaker 05 Oh, no. Oh, no.
46:36 Speaker 03 It's had these all weird little frazzles on my arms. I've got bald arms.
46:39 Speaker 05 Oh, no.
46:40 Speaker 03 I know. It's weird, isn't it? I don't know. That's normal.
46:44 Speaker 05 But it's weird that we've looped back to hairless at the end of the pod.
46:47 Speaker 03 It is, isn't it?
46:48 Speaker 05 Before we know it, Lou's going to come home to Rob scorching all the hairs off himself over the barbecue. Suspending himself bum first over the barbecue.
46:58 Speaker 03 It'll be easy. Maybe I should just lean my back on the barbecue and burn it off.
47:01 Speaker 05 Exactly. It'd be easier. Everyone's a winner.
47:05 Speaker 03 Oh dear. Oh, when we watched Grease, the girls are well into Grease, the new, the film Grease, they love it. Not the new film, it's been out for forever, but we watched that.
47:13 Speaker 05 Did they enjoy it?
47:14 Speaker 03 That's good. They loved it. Loved Grease. Great film.
47:16 Speaker 05 What's the premise of Grease?
47:18 Speaker 03 Danny Zuko and Sandy have a summer romance and they think it's all over. Then they meet again at high school, even though they're all 48. And basically, he's a cool guy in a gang and she's a bit of a sort of, you know, boffin, boffin. And then he's sort of scared to be nice to her because he was, he's getting peer pressure from all the other grease balls.
47:39 Speaker 05 Grease Lightning.
47:40 Speaker 03 Yeah. And then he basically tries to be more straight edge by going, you know, being in the football and sports teams and all that. And then she becomes a bit more rock and roll. And in the end, she starts smoking and wears sexy clothes and they'll get off. And then for some reason, the car flies off in the end. Apologies for spoiler alerts, but if you haven't seen Grease now, you never will.
48:00 Speaker 05 No, exactly. Do you know what Danny and Sandy do there, Rob? They meet in the middle, like I wanted Ed Balls to do with me with my joke.
48:07 Speaker 03 He's in it for the scoop, you're in it for the laughs.
48:10 Speaker 05 Exactly. Do you know what? We're all doing our jobs. We were all doing our jobs and then we all went home. I thought, do you know what? I did a good job today. Yeah. I'm going to give a quick shout out to Eagle Eye Oven Cleaning. They come and did my barbecue again. Absolutely faultless service. I gave them a small business shout out before. They get rid of the burned hair off it?
48:29 Speaker 03 Yeah, well, no, I burnt hair afterwards. So if you come around for a barbecue this year, it might be a bit hairy, but that's on you. But I paid for it. I paid them. This is not, I'm not getting freebies. Here's a normal one. Here's a normal one. Here we go. Hello, Rob, Josh and Michael. Big fan of the podcast. I discovered it when on maternity leave with my first child back in 2021. Now tempted to go back and listen to the first episodes I missed.
48:50 Speaker 05 Don't bother, don't bother.
48:51 Speaker 03 No, please do. It's all streams. It's all money in our pocket, Josh.
48:54 Speaker 05 Of course.
48:55 Speaker 03 Does it count, Michael, if they listen to old ones again?
48:57 Speaker 05 Point one of a penny. Thank you very much.
48:59 Speaker 07 Absolutely, it counts. And I would encourage everyone.
49:02 Speaker 03 It counts. Get on. I tell you what, here's a small business shout out. Parenting held the early, the early series. Get on them. Listen back.
49:09 Speaker 05 Get on there.
49:10 Speaker 03 Um, anyway, uh, did, did, did. I would have a small business shout out, please. I have just set up a small business selling responsibly made backpacks. Our brilliant backpacks are made from recycled ocean-bound plastic to help prevent plastic waste rees chinny oceans in areas where waste management is limited. Our backpacks are designed to be practical yet stylish with useful pockets, a laptop pouch and super comfortable with a padded back. We're called Olive and Rufus and can be found at oliveandrufus.com or Olive and Rufus on Insta. I'm mum to a three and five year old, so it's quite the juggle. I've got a feeling they might be called Olive, Olive and Rufus, but I'm just assuming. It's been a juggle launching a business and looking after our energetic two.
49:52 Speaker 03 A juggle I'm sure lots of your listeners can relate to, work, children, life. Thank you so much, Emma.
49:57 Speaker 05 There you go.
49:58 Speaker 03 There you go. Olive. Oh, they're nice. Olive and Rufus. Nice backpacks. Reasonably, reasonably priced as well. Sixty five pounds for a nice, well-made, responsibly made backpack. There we go.
50:10 Speaker 05 Lovely. Hi, Rob and Josh. I'd like to shout out my dear friend, Tom's Small Business Killer Trails. Tom has created murder mystery trails in some of the UK's best cities. If you want to see all the highlights of a UK city and you're into murder mysteries and escape rooms, these are for you. Perfect whether on a weekend getaway with family, friends, stags, hens, et cetera. Tom quit his job three years ago to focus solely on his killer trails and he's poured his heart into making these unforgettable experiences. He even gives a percentage of the profit to children in need because he's a legend.
50:42 Speaker 03 Ah.
50:43 Speaker 05 Can find the trails on Insta at Killer Trails or, or killertrails.co.uk. Thanks to the Lols, Lucy in Hampshire.
50:51 Speaker 03 Nice. Oh, I'm just looking at these backpacks. They've got a well good bit on it where, you know, when you have your little wheelie case, if you're travelling a lot.
50:57 Speaker 05 Yep.
50:58 Speaker 03 It's got a little strap across so you can just put the backpack on that.
51:01 Speaker 05 Oh, lovely. Lovely.
51:03 Speaker 03 Lovely stuff. Anyway, good luck everyone. Josh, I'll speak to you soon. Have a brilliant holiday. Have a nice rest.
51:08 Speaker 05 I'll let you know how it went.
51:09 Speaker 03 Oh, please do.
51:11 Speaker 05 I will.
51:11 Speaker 03 I'll see you soon.
51:13 Speaker 05 Bye.
51:13 Speaker 03 Bye.
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