⚽ I don't like teams in blue⚽

Welcome to episode four of Footballing Hell... where every Monday Rob and Josh discuss the weekends football (or the bits that interest them) in the only way they know how. Chaotically, with not enough sleep, prep or insight... This week we (sort of) discuss the stories from the weekend of football that have interested us. Including a deep dive into why Josh doesn't like teams who play in blue, and the new Michael Owen reality TV show. Enjoy!! If you want to get in touch with the show you can; Email us: [email protected] And follow us on Instagram and Tiktok: @footballinghell FPL team -⁠⁠⁠⁠ join the Footballing / Parenting Hell mini league ⁠⁠⁠⁠ LEAGUE CODE: 1a5fc7 Leave us a 5* review and subscribe to the podcast please. You know the score by now. ⁠⁠⁠Footballing Hell ⁠⁠⁠is a Spotify Podcast, new video episodes available everywhere every Monday (don't worry - it's business as usual on Tuesday and Friday with the usual Parenting Hell episodes) A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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• 1:41Speaker 02

  Hello and welcome to Footballing Hell with

• 1:46Speaker 02

  Rob Beckett.

• 1:53Speaker 02

  What are you laughing at? Don't take the piss.

• 1:57Speaker 02

  Rob Beckett.

• 2:01Speaker 03

  Josh Whittaker.

• 2:05Speaker 03

  Josh Whittaker.

• 2:06Speaker 02

  Not the most confident broadcaster.

• 2:08Speaker 04

  Oh, okay. Actually, what I would say is, as a clue, retired footballer, now broadcaster.

• 2:14Speaker 02

  Really?

• 2:15Speaker 04

  And we'll probably be talking about his team this, today, due to the results at the weekend. I'm not sure if this intro to this, the show, like this is shit or not.

• 2:25Speaker 02

  It's too difficult. It's so impossible because you've got, you're like, you're trying to reckon, I don't know any footballer's voices beyond about three.

• 2:34Speaker 04

  From a work ethic point for me, it's easier if we don't. Because then I don't have

• 2:40Speaker 04

  the rest of my laurels approach.

• 2:43Speaker 02

  I thought you told me you've got loads in the bank already.

• 2:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, but what I didn't know was people have disappearing messages on and WhatsApp have changed it. We've lost Chris Kamara and I lost Jack Grealish for it. So Chris Kamara, if you're listening, yours have deleted.

• 2:57Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 2:58Speaker 04

  So I've got a few lined up and they keep disappearing. Anyway, broadcaster, Talksport Coast, used to play for Tottenham.

• 3:05Speaker 02

  Oh, is it one of those ones that gets angry all the time?

• 3:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I don't think that's him as a person. It's very much due to the fact his team's finished 17th two years running and now they're back in the relegation zone.

• 3:14Speaker 02

  Jason Cundy.

• 3:15Speaker 04

  First name Jamie. Close.

• 3:19Speaker 02

  Jamie O'Hara.

• 3:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, I mean, I know this is quite difficult. Yeah, correct, but I think it gets to the point where that was too easy.

• 3:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't listen to Talksport. You've got to remember that.

• 3:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, sure. The guy that hosts Football in Hell, the football podcast, doesn't listen to Talksport at all.

• 3:35Speaker 02

  No, I don't. I don't like Talksport.

• 3:39Speaker 05

  I'll just say really quickly, it's lovely to watch a feature die in real time.

• 3:46Speaker 04

  Okay, well.

• 3:46Speaker 02

  No, that's fine. You can, you can like football and not listen to Talksport.

• 3:50Speaker 04

  True, you can, you can, but I think if you are into football, as I am, and I'm a real aficionado, as all the comments have suggested of how much I especially know.

• 4:00Speaker 02

  Have they?

• 4:01Speaker 04

  No. I'd say the main feedback is, I cannot believe how little they know about current football.

• 4:09Speaker 04

  And it's not until I started doing a football podcast, I realised, I knew, honestly, if you say to me, like, name a Everton striker, like, Yakubu will go into my head first.

• 4:22Speaker 02

  Duncan Ferguson.

• 4:23Speaker 04

  And then it's a constant fight back towards, who at the moment, who I love, they've got two players called Barry and George.

• 4:32Speaker 04

  I'm a big fan of that, Barry and George up front.

• 4:34Speaker 02

  But this is a problem. When George scored yesterday, I did think, that's not Faniadi George.

• 4:40Speaker 04

  That's exactly what I thought and I just remembered how fast he was on Pro EVO and he used to play for Ajax. And then I started thinking of Babangida. Do you remember him? How fast he was on Pro EVO? Michael, you're a Babangida player?

• 4:51Speaker 05

  Yeah, Faniadi George, though, was the one.

• 4:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, absolutely outrageous, especially on Chat Manager. So that was Jamie O'Hara. Thanks, Jamie. Who I think is, him and Jason Cundy. Look, my opinion on Talksport is, when it's done right, I think it's brilliant because it basically feels like mates having a laugh about their football teams when they're going well or not going well. And I think it's great. And it's worst, naming no names, Adrian Durham, when he does his player ratings at the World Cup and gives like Declan Rice a three out of 10 when we've beaten Mexico. You're like, this is pure rage bait. So it's the rage bait I don't like, but when they're actually having a laugh, like Ally McCoist is brilliant on it.

• 5:28Speaker 02

  I love Ally McCoist.

• 5:29Speaker 04

  Charles Stick's great, you know, when he's not on the, on the rage bait and he, he doesn't do that anymore.

• 5:33Speaker 02

  I love Charlie Baker.

• 5:34Speaker 04

  Hawkesby and Jacobs, that's a really good people on, but, you know, Simon Jordan and Jim White, it's a tough, it's a tough act.

• 5:42Speaker 02

  It's a tough one to follow.

• 5:45Speaker 02

  I just think this was Simon Jordan.

• 5:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:48Speaker 02

  Do you need to do this?

• 5:50Speaker 04

  Well, the answer is, I think, yes. Because I don't know about you, if I was an incredibly successful businessman that had all these millions and could buy football clubs, I don't know if I'd do, you know, five days a week talking to Jim White about any old bollocks that fills three hours.

• 6:09Speaker 02

  You've got a job here, mate, that is on, you know, a successful radio station, but you're not hosting the fucking Radio on Breakfast show. Do you know what I mean? You're doing, you're not like.

• 6:19Speaker 04

  Oh, I don't know, I don't know what Talksport pays, but if you, you're already a multimillionaire business owner, is it, is that negligible or is it fun?

• 6:27Speaker 02

  So he's doing it for the love of saying things he doesn't quite believe in.

• 6:31Speaker 04

  I think he does believe in them, did he?

• 6:33Speaker 02

  Well, then his life must be exhausting.

• 6:35Speaker 04

  Doesn't he go out with the lady that presents on GB News?

• 6:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:39Speaker 04

  You imagine going around their ass for a dinner party?

• 6:43Speaker 04

  Did you see that on the news? Stop now. Just, I don't care what it was. Stop now. What would you prefer, oranges or mangoes? Let's do that.

• 6:54Speaker 04

  Anyway, so that was Jamie O'Hara. I like Jamie, he's a good lad.

• 6:56Speaker 02

  Thank you to Jamie.

• 6:57Speaker 04

  I'm a Talksportologist, what can I say?

• 6:59Speaker 02

  You're a Talksport, but that's fine.

• 7:00Speaker 04

  I'll be on there at some point.

• 7:01Speaker 02

  I'm a regular on Charlie Baker, Paul Hawkesby.

• 7:04Speaker 04

  I'm a regular on Charlie. I'm up all night, listening to the leg show. Matt Ford used to be great on it. Remember, he did all through the night?

• 7:10Speaker 02

  He did, yeah, yeah.

• 7:10Speaker 04

  So if anyone's got any ideas about how to open the show, because I think I'm getting bored of having to do that and begging current footballers and ex-footballers to say our name, it's too hard, isn't it?

• 7:19Speaker 02

  Well, why don't we?

• 7:20Speaker 04

  If we're killing it in real time, do you want, do you want me to go through all the ones we've got left?

• 7:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, go on, go on.

• 7:26Speaker 04

  We might have to cut some of this out because I think they were drunk when they sent it.

• 7:28Speaker 03

  Oh, fuck off with your favourite, stiff like your fucking arse.

• 7:33Speaker 02

  Jesus wept. Jesus wept.

• 7:36Speaker 04

  Well, actually, that was someone else, that was another player chipping in on someone that asked to do it.

• 7:42Speaker 02

  I would not have lasted 10 minutes in a dressing room if I was good at football.

• 7:46Speaker 04

  I'll give you some, these are some clues. They, but they played English, both English, both played for Chelsea under Mourinho.

• 7:53Speaker 02

  Oh, no, Terry and Lampard.

• 7:55Speaker 04

  Right, no, it's not them two, so hang on.

• 7:57Speaker 03

  Oh, fuck off with your favourite, stiff like your fucking arse.

• 8:01Speaker 02

  Joe Cole.

• 8:02Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, well, correct, but he hasn't even spoken yet.

• 8:06Speaker 02

  No, but I'm just guessing English players that played for Mourinho. I'll be honest, I'm not using, I'm not using the voices. I'm not using the voices.

• 8:13Speaker 04

  The game was so hard, but now it's so easy, you don't even need the voices.

• 8:17Speaker 02

  Well, the voices are no help.

• 8:19Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 8:20Speaker 02

  Do you recognise this voice? It's Joe Cole. Of course I don't. If someone said to me, do you know I do a great impression of Joe Cole? I'd go, well, what, what? What does that mean?

• 8:31Speaker 04

  Show us you're a boner.

• 8:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:33Speaker 04

  That's what I'll say to them. Do you impress, show us you're a boner.

• 8:35Speaker 03

  He's pretty, by the way.

• 8:38Speaker 02

  Wayne Bridge, right.

• 8:43Speaker 03

  Rob Beckett and Josh Whittaker.

• 8:46Speaker 04

  Right, okay, so that was Joe Cole and Wayne Bridge. Do you want the others?

• 8:49Speaker 02

  So sorry, are they still hanging out? Just

• 8:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, they live

• 8:52Speaker 02

  Recording voice memos together.

• 8:53Speaker 04

  I think they were just out, they're friends, do you know what I mean? Now that me and you, you know, me and Ramesh and, you know, we all, and James Akers, we all hang out socially, don't we? No, because we're all obsessively working and none of us know why and none of us can stop.

• 9:05Speaker 02

  But the good thing is for them, their career had to end due to injury. If, if, if in comedy, your vocal cords went at 35.

• 9:12Speaker 04

  But then surely, I think comedians should retire when it's a, it's sort of like not a physical injury, it's like when their, their mind and spirit becomes compromised due to so much exhaustion, they start to turn into scum.

• 9:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't know if you'd get far enough at all. You'd be retiring very early in that case.

• 9:30Speaker 04

  Well, well, some, the thing is comedians, you know, there, someone would always let them on a stage. A footballer can't just get on a football pitch.

• 9:38Speaker 02

  Well, they can to do the half-time draw.

• 9:42Speaker 03

  Rob Beckett and Josh Whittaker.

• 9:44Speaker 02

  Bit of fucking professionalism at last. That's exactly what we're looking for.

• 9:48Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 9:48Speaker 02

  Just knock it out, no messing around, no someone interrupting. I've got to record a voice note. Do you know what? I'll do it. I like this person.

• 9:56Speaker 04

  Right, okay.

• 9:57Speaker 02

  They're professional, they clear up.

• 9:58Speaker 04

  You know them, you've worked with them on TV.

• 10:00Speaker 02

  It's not Claude McAlley, but it should be because it's someone who's just keeping it ticking over. It's Rodri. Is it Rodri?

• 10:06Speaker 04

  No, similar players to Rodri, though, midfield maestro.

• 10:09Speaker 02

  Exactly, that's what I mean. I've worked with them on TV.

• 10:12Speaker 04

  By the way, I was getting really laughing, you know, we were talking about the Chelsea league.

• 10:15Speaker 02

  League of their own. Fred, Jamie Redknapp.

• 10:17Speaker 04

  Jamie Redknapp, yeah.

• 10:18Speaker 02

  There we go. Delivers.

• 10:20Speaker 03

  Rob Beckett and Josh Whittaker.

• 10:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, lovely man, does the job, perfect.

• 10:25Speaker 04

  This is great, actually, because I had all these unread and it was really stressing me out, having so many unread messages, because I had them unread to find them. Oh, when someone was going through all the Chelsea players, you know, who's in Chelsea players and cereal and the comments on the clip, I don't know if you saw it, someone said Jeremy, Jeremy's eating all the sugar puffs.

• 10:45Speaker 02

  Send in your combination, some Mourinho, here are Chelsea players and cereals, yeah.

• 10:51Speaker 04

  Well, Chelsea, Chelsea, do you do Chelsea players and breakfast, right? And because they've had so many players, like in the last 20 years, it's insane. Anyway, I'll do the last one. This is really hard.

• 11:04Speaker 03

  Hello, mate. Good to see you on the golf.

• 11:07Speaker 04

  Hang on.

• 11:09Speaker 03

  Rob Beckett.

• 11:14Speaker 04

  Josh Whittaker.

• 11:16Speaker 02

  There's a clue there, Rob.

• 11:18Speaker 04

  What's that?

• 11:18Speaker 02

  Good to see you on the golf. Jimmy Bullard.

• 11:21Speaker 04

  No, it's not Jimmy Bullard. So this one is, I know this, well, I actually know this footballer because he comes and saw me play, do a gig years ago. Well, before doing a 100 seater because he's from near me, he's from Bexley Heath way. But he has had a series. I'm going to read out all the teams he's played for.

• 11:36Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 11:37Speaker 04

  He's retired, used to play as a defender.

• 11:40Speaker 02

  Is this in order?

• 11:41Speaker 04

  This is, well, he's from Bexley Heath, six foot two, defender. Youth career was at West Ham and then he basically broke through Aston Villa.

• 11:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:50Speaker 04

  And then he played for Birmingham, West Bromwich Albion, Portland Timbers.

• 11:55Speaker 02

  Oh, he did the Midlands.

• 11:56Speaker 04

  And he'd done a few loans.

• 11:58Speaker 02

  No, I don't know who that is.

• 11:59Speaker 04

  Liam Ridgewell. All right, let's move on.

• 12:01Speaker 02

  I mean, fuck, Jesus, what? Liam Ridgewell? The feature's dead. No disrespect to Liam.

• 12:10Speaker 04

  Oh, has Ridgewell killed it off?

• 12:11Speaker 02

  But imagine a feature where you recognise Liam Ridgewell's voice.

• 12:19Speaker 02

  That's not broadcasting.

• 12:24Speaker 02

  Imagine you're working in a, you're working in a call centre, right? You work for Sky.

• 12:31Speaker 02

  You work for Sky and you get a call and they go, hi, yeah, I live in Birmingham, my, my set top box is broken.

• 12:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:43Speaker 02

  You think, wait a minute, is that the voice of Liam Ridgewell? I can recognise that voice anywhere.

• 12:49Speaker 04

  Well, mate, maybe in Portland.

• 12:50Speaker 02

  It's like Cilla Black. Everyone knows Liam Ridgewell's voice.

• 12:53Speaker 04

  Big though, he's made waves in America. He broke America while you're slagging him off in Portland.

• 12:58Speaker 02

  I'm not slagging him off, I'm just saying he hasn't got a distinctive voice.

• 13:02Speaker 04

  No, he hasn't. I mean, I think even Liam Ridgewell potentially wouldn't recognise his own voice at times. Is that me?

• 13:10Speaker 04

  The feature's dead. If anyone's got an idea for the opening feature, let us know.

• 13:15Speaker 04

  So I'm certainly not putting any time aside to fucking think of something.

• 13:19Speaker 02

  No, well, once you've got to Liam Ridgewell, you've run out of players.

• 13:22Speaker 04

  Well, I had Chris Kamara.

• 13:23Speaker 02

  The most galling thing is we've had Wayne Bridge, he didn't even do it.

• 13:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, we've had Wayne as well. That's all a bad feature, you know. But we'll look back on this one day, we'll bring it back.

• 13:31Speaker 02

  It's good to know that Joe Cole and Wayne Bridge are still hanging out together. I like it when you see old footballers hanging out together.

• 13:37Speaker 04

  So they always hang out, they go to, they love music, they go to a lot of music, festivals and stuff together, always at Oasis. Yeah. So that's why I see them a lot at Oasis.

• 13:46Speaker 02

  Well, there we go. Now, Rob.

• 13:48Speaker 04

  Right, so Josh, you said you've got a list of stuff you want to talk about.

• 13:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:52Speaker 04

  I, I think, and I think maybe some of the listeners agree, the list makes things worse.

• 13:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, okay, so let's just start talking.

• 13:59Speaker 04

  I don't think the list helps, I think it panics us.

• 14:01Speaker 02

  Okay, okay, there's no list. Let's just start talking.

• 14:04Speaker 04

  Did you, okay, did you watch the football?

• 14:06Speaker 02

  I've watched the highlights.

• 14:08Speaker 04

  No, have you watched any games?

• 14:10Speaker 02

  What, in full?

• 14:11Speaker 04

  Yeah. Hang on, don't react like, we are, look, we are doing a weekly football podcast, but I'd assume by accident you might watch one even if you weren't doing it. As a football fan.

• 14:23Speaker 02

  I haven't got Sky at the moment.

• 14:24Speaker 04

  Right, okay. Because you're getting work done. And that's it. You're not going to work, watch any games. That's fine.

• 14:30Speaker 02

  I am, I've, tell, ask, ask me about the highlights of any of the games.

• 14:35Speaker 04

  Okay, well, I'm going to ask you about what you're, what you're watching this week, coming up. What games have you set aside that you're going to be?

• 14:39Speaker 02

  Well, I've looked ahead at the fixtures.

• 14:41Speaker 04

  Well, why not? I know. There's Champions League game midweek.

• 14:45Speaker 02

  Oh, is there?

• 14:45Speaker 04

  And there's the Manchester Derby next weekend, do you know about that?

• 14:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm looking forward to that. I've got a terrible feeling that Man City are just as good as they were before.

• 14:53Speaker 04

  Well, yeah, but it makes it exciting for the league, doesn't it?

• 14:55Speaker 02

  Here's my theory, Rob.

• 14:56Speaker 04

  Go on.

• 14:57Speaker 02

  Start of the season, everyone's going, there is so much change. This season could go any way. There's new managers, there's loads of transfers, everything has changed.

• 15:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:13Speaker 02

  Nothing's changed.

• 15:15Speaker 04

  Arsenal, Manchester City, the best.

• 15:17Speaker 02

  Arsenal, Man City. Liverpool are still a bit shit, have the same level as before.

• 15:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, they're still working it, aren't they?

• 15:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, Man U are the same level as before, Tottenham are the same level as before. Aston Villa started really shit last year, they've started really shit again. It's literally the same again. The only difference is Chelsea are a bit better. That's literally the only difference in the whole of the Premier League.

• 15:42Speaker 04

  But there will be people in the midsection saying it's really different this year for people.

• 15:47Speaker 02

  Well, because Brentford are sixth rather than eighth.

• 15:51Speaker 04

  Hey, I'm just saying, there's, there's fanbases out there that we may not be respected enough, okay?

• 15:56Speaker 02

  Of course, but what I was saying is.

• 15:58Speaker 04

  What do you think of their start to their season, hm?

• 16:00Speaker 02

  I, I'd say, Rob.

• 16:02Speaker 04

  They may as well not be in the fucking league as far as I'm concerned.

• 16:08Speaker 02

  Okay, Rob, I'm going to give you some teams, I want you to tell me how many points they've got, okay?

• 16:12Speaker 04

  Right, okay, yeah, that's, this is, okay.

• 16:14Speaker 02

  Seeing as you're across it all so much.

• 16:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, I'm across it, actually. Look, I'm the statso here, you're Bede and Skinner.

• 16:20Speaker 02

  Okay, how many points have Brighton got?

• 16:22Speaker 04

  Absolutely no idea, three.

• 16:23Speaker 02

  They've played three games.

• 16:24Speaker 04

  Three, they got three points.

• 16:26Speaker 02

  They've got four points.

• 16:27Speaker 04

  Okay, close.

• 16:28Speaker 02

  Name the two teams with zero points.

• 16:33Speaker 04

  Coventry?

• 16:34Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 16:36Speaker 04

  Aston Villa drew, didn't they?

• 16:37Speaker 02

  This team, I'm sorry, but.

• 16:40Speaker 04

  Go on, give me your opinion of them then.

• 16:41Speaker 02

  Just fuck off. I just can't be bothered with them. I just.

• 16:47Speaker 04

  Ipswich?

• 16:48Speaker 02

  No, at least Ipswich, you're like, oh, they were in the Premier League in the glory days of the Premier League.

• 16:53Speaker 04

  So Coventry and who else, who else is it?

• 16:56Speaker 02

  Fulham.

• 17:00Speaker 04

  Just what, just get out and just be a bit of fun in the Championship, is that what you're saying?

• 17:04Speaker 02

  I don't even know if they'll be a bit of fun in the Championship. So I'm, there's a couple of Fulham fans I like.

• 17:10Speaker 04

  Richard Osman?

• 17:11Speaker 02

  Richard Osman.

• 17:12Speaker 04

  I like Fulham, I like Fulham.

• 17:13Speaker 02

  Felix White from the Maccabees, I like, he's a big Fulham fan. And Lily Allen.

• 17:18Speaker 04

  Right. Is she a Fulham fan?

• 17:20Speaker 02

  They've got good celebrity fans.

• 17:22Speaker 04

  I don't know, I think Lily, I don't think Lily Anne's a bit on the fence, I don't think she's like.

• 17:26Speaker 02

  You don't think she's down the cottage?

• 17:28Speaker 04

  She's not down the cottage.

• 17:29Speaker 02

  I saw her in Paddington Station the other day.

• 17:31Speaker 04

  Um, I was thinking about this other day, you know, you said about Chelsea.

• 17:33Speaker 02

  That's near Fulham.

• 17:34Speaker 04

  Chelsea have got the worst type of fans. They've got the posh ones and then the sort of far right nutters, angry bald men. I was thinking, do they even have a player that everyone loves? Like, you know, like.

• 17:46Speaker 02

  I think Morgan Rogers.

• 17:48Speaker 04

  Morgan Rogers, yeah, I think people quite like him, but then he started trying to fight Declan Rice yesterday.

• 17:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, but that's fine.

• 17:54Speaker 04

  That's fine. But that Zola everyone loved.

• 17:56Speaker 02

  Everyone loved Zola. Everyone loved Ruud Hulit.

• 17:59Speaker 04

  Did they?

• 18:00Speaker 02

  I think, because it was so thrilling when he came. And then he was saying sexy football and everyone was like, this guy is something else.

• 18:07Speaker 04

  It's so mad how boring British football coverage, isn't it? Like Ruud Hulit goes, sexy football, like, oh my god, it's so, and now Mika Richards has like transformed and revolutionised TV by having a laugh. By just being happy, just happy.

• 18:22Speaker 02

  I know.

• 18:22Speaker 04

  And enjoying football and laughing. I'm like, oh my god, he's such a breath of fresh air. It's like, what are all those other fuckers doing in their suits, sat there like they're at a funeral? It's a game of football. Oh, we've lost again, no one really cares. You pretending to care this much is the problem. This is what, I listened to Talksport the other day, there was a bloke on it, and I don't know if he was joking or not. He said, because Tottenham drew 0-0 with Nottingham Forest away from home, he'd cancelled dinner with his wife that night.

• 18:49Speaker 02

  Right.

• 18:50Speaker 04

  How would Lew and Rose respond?

• 18:52Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 18:53Speaker 04

  Plymouth have lost. You got Rose, I'm sorry, we're going to have to, we're going to have to cancel Bayern Burger or wherever, or Bills, whatever you've got down in Devon.

• 19:01Speaker 02

  How fucking dare you.

• 19:03Speaker 04

  Sorry, Bella Italia is going to have to.

• 19:06Speaker 02

  Dare you.

• 19:08Speaker 04

  Look, I know you love Frankie and Benny's Rose, but we're going to have to pull the Reds.

• 19:14Speaker 04

  Could I get a table for, I don't know, of course you can, it's empty, it's absolutely empty.

• 19:21Speaker 02

  I think if, if, if I, when was the last time I was truly affected? You're affected by England.

• 19:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, England affects me. But I think that's because everyone's into it, so all the mood around you is like that. So I think it's different. Imagine if you was a football fan, you worked with loads of, like, of the same fans, that might be different.

• 19:44Speaker 02

  This is the difference between club and international. I think it's the same as the difference between your birthday and Christmas, right?

• 19:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:53Speaker 02

  On your birthday, it's just you that cares.

• 19:55Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 19:57Speaker 02

  So really, your birthday's not as good as Christmas because everyone's into it. So everyone is into England or Wales or Scotland or whatever.

• 20:04Speaker 04

  You get caught up in it.

• 20:05Speaker 02

  So you get caught up in it, like Christmas. A World Cup is Christmas and Plymouth winning a game is your birthday.

• 20:12Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 20:13Speaker 02

  That's, that's what it's like.

• 20:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, but even when England went out this World Cup semi-finals, I still finished my dinner.

• 20:18Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 20:19Speaker 04

  No, I'm not eating tonight.

• 20:20Speaker 02

  We're cancelling dinner. But sorry, you've, you've made two calls after Spurs drew. And they drew away from home. One to your wife and one to Talksport.

• 20:36Speaker 04

  What is wrong with you? And also-

• 20:40Speaker 02

  She needs to leave him.

• 20:41Speaker 04

  I agree totally. I think with Tottenham, we should talk about Tottenham. So Tottenham have lost the first two games and they drew.

• 20:48Speaker 02

  It's still funny.

• 20:49Speaker 04

  And it's like-

• 20:49Speaker 02

  Shall we phone Reece James?

• 20:51Speaker 04

  Should we try Reece again? I found he was fairly-

• 20:55Speaker 02

  He was all right about it.

• 20:56Speaker 04

  I've tried Bill again, but he's quite shy. So I think he knows what I'm doing when I'm trying to ring him. Bill's the producer of Rob and Ramesh, but a massive Tottenham fan. Goes a lot. But surely you should just accept a 0-0 draw with Tottenham Forest.

• 21:10Speaker 02

  It's fine.

• 21:12Speaker 04

  He knows what I'm up to here. Also, maybe he knows what I'm up to, but also he is producing a show I'm on. You'd think he'd answer. That's twice I've rung him now with no response.

• 21:22Speaker 02

  How often do you ring? Because remember, you finished it for the series. So what are you going to be phoning about now?

• 21:27Speaker 04

  Well, we have to go in and do voice- we still have to go and do voiceover.

• 21:29Speaker 02

  I've been having a thought- I've had some thoughts about the edit, Bill.

• 21:32Speaker 04

  No, that does happen because sometimes I'm like strip naked and we have to agree on how many nipples I show. Hang on.

• 21:37Speaker 02

  Yeah. From what number?

• 21:39Speaker 04

  Hello, Bill. You all right, mate?

• 21:40Speaker 03

  How are you?

• 21:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, good. Can you, can you talk? I'm, I'm recording football in hell with Josh. He can hear you, but-

• 21:46Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 21:47Speaker 03

  Hey, you all right?

• 21:48Speaker 04

  You won't be able to hear Josh, just me. We're just discussing Tottenham and I'd say you're probably one of the most passionate Tottenham fans I know. We just wanted to know what-

• 21:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 21:56Speaker 04

  What, what's the, the thought and vibe at Tottenham? Because for us, before the start of the season, good manager, spent loads of money, get them all in. What, what's, what's, what's the, what's the thought process at the moment?

• 22:08Speaker 03

  Do you know what? I knew you were going to be ringing about the fucking Spurs.

• 22:12Speaker 04

  We could talk about the show if you want. How's the edit?

• 22:14Speaker 03

  No, no, no. Do you know what? I would say I'm come- I don't want to be too doom and gloom just yet, just yet. Because the problem is like-

• 22:22Speaker 04

  You got, you got, you were at the relegation zone on Saturday for four hours.

• 22:26Speaker 03

  Can I tell you something I've been looking at, Rob? And you might laugh at this. You might be just so fucking sad, Bill. Do you know what? Our XG is against the game and against all the other teams who play.

• 22:35Speaker 02

  Hang up, Rob. Hang up. Hang up on this prayer.

• 22:38Speaker 03

  And against, and then this weekend against Nottingham Forest, we have better XG.

• 22:42Speaker 04

  Really? Yeah.

• 22:43Speaker 03

  And so it's, it's, we are at, it's called Frank, when we were with Thomas Frank, right?

• 22:48Speaker 04

  Thomas Frank, okay.

• 22:48Speaker 03

  We didn't look like we were going to score. We just looked dreadful. We just looked like there was no hope. But we do, we are creating chances. We just need to move to school, pass the ball to Curtis and we get a goal.

• 22:58Speaker 04

  Right.

• 22:59Speaker 03

  We just need to, we just need to convert our chances and they, that will happen. I just think, I think honestly, Rob-

• 23:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:05Speaker 03

  This weekend, I think that we'll batter Nottingham, I think we'll batter Everton.

• 23:08Speaker 04

  Really? It's all going to click?

• 23:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, then it'll click. And then everyone will be like, everyone's, everyone's so keen to jump on us. The other thing, by the way-

• 23:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, because you haven't scored.

• 23:19Speaker 03

  Everyone's just used, I don't know why everyone's coming for Spurs. I don't know why.

• 23:22Speaker 04

  Well, you haven't scored a goal. You haven't scored a goal and you've lost two.

• 23:25Speaker 03

  Villa haven't scored a goal, Rob. Villa haven't scored.

• 23:27Speaker 04

  Oh, but Bill, Bill, they-

• 23:29Speaker 02

  They've sold their squad.

• 23:30Speaker 04

  They've sold everyone.

• 23:32Speaker 03

  They, no, Villa haven't signed, and everyone's going for Spurs. No one's talking about, let's talk about Villa.

• 23:37Speaker 04

  What, what do you want to say about Villa?

• 23:39Speaker 03

  Villa, they look dread- they've signed, what was it? The Mam, Mam, I shouldn't say what he said.

• 23:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, if you don't know how to pronounce it, Bill, I'll just tap out.

• 23:49Speaker 03

  They've signed, they've signed a load of players.

• 23:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:52Speaker 03

  They look dreadful, which is still early. It's still early. You know what? I said yesterday, I want-

• 23:57Speaker 04

  Hang on, your-

• 23:58Speaker 03

  Scenario.

• 23:58Speaker 04

  Come, Bill.

• 23:59Speaker 03

  I, I, I, I'd-

• 24:01Speaker 02

  He's shy. He said at one point, he's shy.

• 24:04Speaker 03

  I don't want to say this.

• 24:05Speaker 04

  Go on, Bill.

• 24:06Speaker 03

  My only, my only, I, I would, I think that I'd like Poch back, but not yet.

• 24:09Speaker 04

  Oh, you want, oh, hang on. So you just said it's all going to click ever. Now you want to sack Deserby?

• 24:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, but I still have this thing of like, he's an ex-girlfriend who like, I think it would have worked better with him.

• 24:20Speaker 04

  Right.

• 24:21Speaker 03

  I just still think it just-

• 24:22Speaker 04

  I think he's a better manager for these players.

• 24:23Speaker 02

  Who's your Steven Schumacher?

• 24:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, do you know when I watched yesterday's game, right? You against Chelsea. It was so like, it was, it was, everyone was just running for them. Do you know what? Another thing, another stat, I've been looking at so many stats. You run more than everyone else, right? Arsenal run so much and I was like, we used to run so much for Poch. And like, we don't run anymore. And I was like, I want to, I'm like, you guys, it was that bit about 20 minutes into the game. You were just, both teams were just running, running so much. And I was like, that was that football again, where everyone was just fucking running at each other like.

• 24:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, but, but Bill, did you see the XG? Arsenal's XG really dropped off from all the running.

• 25:04Speaker 03

  You, I, then, do you know what? I've seen a stat that you have the least XG against, don't you?

• 25:11Speaker 04

  Bill, I've never looked at XG in my life. It's a load of fucking bollocks. You've just bought a load of charlatans, are there for the money. They're not going to put any effort in. They just want the dollar and a big move to Real Madrid if it goes well. What's the prediction for the Everton game?

• 25:25Speaker 03

  Oh, I think we'll win 4-0.

• 25:27Speaker 04

  Okay. Perfect.

• 25:28Speaker 03

  I'm not, it's too early to get me depressed. It's honestly, it's, I, I think if we don't beat Everton and Villa-

• 25:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:36Speaker 03

  Or if you don't beat Everton, you can call me.

• 25:40Speaker 04

  Right, okay.

• 25:41Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 25:41Speaker 04

  We'll, we'll give you a bell if you lose to Everton.

• 25:43Speaker 03

  Everton, then I think I'll be pretty low.

• 25:45Speaker 04

  Anyway, Bill-

• 25:46Speaker 03

  And I, I had a moment yesterday when I, when Chelsea won 1-0 and I said to my son, I was like, I think maybe you should just support Chelsea because it is pretty shit being Spurs fan, but-

• 25:56Speaker 04

  But anyway, but look, just look at the XG and Bill, next time we're filming Rob and Ramesh, if me and Ramesh don't make anyone laugh, we'll just show you the expected laughs. And then you can put those expected laughs into the edit and before you know it, Nava BAFTA. Is that okay?

• 26:13Speaker 03

  The X laughs, I know.

• 26:14Speaker 04

  The X laughs. Anyway, cheers, Bill. I'll speak to you later, mate.

• 26:18Speaker 03

  All right.

• 26:19Speaker 02

  Cheers.

• 26:20Speaker 04

  Love Bill. He's so passionate about Tottenham. He knows a lot as well, to be fair.

• 26:23Speaker 02

  Can we go back on you saying he's shy?

• 26:25Speaker 04

  Well, Bill, he's a little bit, if, if he was here now and he saw cameras, he wouldn't want to be in front of them, but he is-

• 26:32Speaker 02

  He opened up.

• 26:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, but he's not shy. Once you get him going.

• 26:42Speaker 02

  Right, Rob, can we talk about Arsenal v Chelsea?

• 26:45Speaker 04

  Yes, let's talk about Arsenal v Chelsea.

• 26:46Speaker 02

  Did you watch it?

• 26:47Speaker 04

  Yes, I watched it, enjoyed it. It was stressful as an Arsenal fan, but it was, it felt like a proper fun game when they're attacking each other.

• 26:55Speaker 02

  Morgan Rogers, my favourite England player now.

• 26:58Speaker 04

  Is he?

• 26:59Speaker 02

  I love him. Oh, can I tell you what the lamest thing on earth is?

• 27:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, go on.

• 27:06Speaker 02

  Have you seen the clip of-

• 27:09Speaker 04

  I thought you strictly advert, that's fine.

• 27:15Speaker 02

  Have you seen the clip of the journalist asking Mikel Arteta about the front three of Chelsea and their nickname?

• 27:24Speaker 04

  No, I didn't know Chelsea have got a nickname, front three.

• 27:26Speaker 02

  So you know how there's occasionally nicknames for front threes and they're always a bit of a push?

• 27:32Speaker 04

  I want to say Shearer and Sun because it's so long ago, but the S A S is all on it.

• 27:36Speaker 02

  Messi, what was it? Messi, Neymar and Suarez.

• 27:40Speaker 04

  Nearly said Savio.

• 27:41Speaker 02

  It's MSN, like MSN messaging.

• 27:44Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, I don't know that. But yeah, I get it. Yeah.

• 27:46Speaker 02

  Do you think that's bad?

• 27:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:48Speaker 02

  Do you want to have a go at Cole Palmer, Morgan Rogers and Jao Pedro? Michael?

• 27:53Speaker 04

  P, PRP?

• 27:55Speaker 05

  I, I think it's going to be CPR, right?

• 27:57Speaker 02

  No, that's much better. CPR.

• 28:00Speaker 04

  You know, CMJ, C J M?

• 28:03Speaker 02

  No. So they, they take the J from Jao Pedro.

• 28:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 28:08Speaker 02

  His first name, the P from Cole Palmer, his second name.

• 28:12Speaker 04

  JP, JPM?

• 28:14Speaker 02

  JP Morgan.

• 28:17Speaker 04

  So it's, the nickname's JP Morgan, like unnamed after the business?

• 28:20Speaker 02

  Journalist, it was like they're calling them JP Morgan. No one's calling them JP Morgan.

• 28:24Speaker 04

  No one's calling that. Also, it's a bit too favoured in Morgan, isn't it?

• 28:28Speaker 02

  Also, yeah, you've chosen one person's first name, one person's second name. So that doesn't work. Because it sounds like JP sounds like Jao Pedro Morgan.

• 28:36Speaker 04

  And what did Arteta say? Fuck off, you loser.

• 28:38Speaker 02

  Well, no, he kind of laughed along and I was like, oh shit, weirdo. Yeah. Do you know what? X, X laughs on that, zero.

• 28:46Speaker 04

  X laughs. You should have seen the X laughs on that when he was getting it ready in the, in the press box.

• 28:51Speaker 02

  JP Morgan.

• 28:53Speaker 04

  Well, Gary Neville, I'm going to shock you with some current football opinion.

• 28:58Speaker 02

  Go on.

• 28:59Speaker 04

  Well, I'm going to talk about current players here. Gary Neville said to Ian Wright and the other panel that he thinks Arteta would swap Havertz, Eze and Saka for Jao Pedro Morgan and Palmer.

• 29:13Speaker 02

  For JP Morgan?

• 29:14Speaker 04

  For JP Morgan, for JP Morgan. They would swap the ESH, the H E S, the he's. The he's gives me the he's be jeebies. This attack so fierce.

• 29:26Speaker 02

  The he's be jeebies. He'd swap the he's be jeebies for JP-

• 29:29Speaker 04

  JP Morgan are coming for me with a very watertight contract that you can't wriggle out of. I don't, I definitely don't think I'd swap. I think that's a mental, like they've had three good games and you've got a front three that have won the league and then-

• 29:43Speaker 02

  I'd swap JP Morgan.

• 29:44Speaker 04

  You'd take JP Morgan?

• 29:46Speaker 02

  Kai Havertz, he's a, he's very like Thomas Muller, isn't he? And I don't really know.

• 29:53Speaker 04

  He's not an out and out striker, but he's so good, Josh. His touch, he just does little flicks.

• 29:58Speaker 02

  Touch. I don't care about his flicks.

• 29:59Speaker 04

  No, but you should care about his touch. His little touches sort of set up a couple of big opportunities and the goal.

• 30:04Speaker 02

  Actually, he did dummy for the, the winning goal.

• 30:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, he made the winning goal and he scored.

• 30:09Speaker 02

  It's a bad week. It's a bad week.

• 30:10Speaker 04

  What's Cole Palmer doing? Apart from cover up his balding head? That haircut, mate, just get, he, he should have done it early. He had the old summer off. Get the wings, basically, because what he's got is like, he's going, he's going there. He's going to look like an old Steve Archer bald head. He's got his Lombardo. He's got to act early and accept it. I think that's holding him back.

• 30:32Speaker 02

  Do you know, do you know how you get a full head of hair? If you combine Warnock with Cole Palmer, you get the, you get either totally bald or a full, or full.

• 30:41Speaker 04

  I just think if your job is like, that's why Joe Cole did it, right? He just sort of shaved it all off as it got, you know.

• 30:48Speaker 02

  When are you shaving off if you're a footballer?

• 30:50Speaker 04

  Well, I think if you're Cole Palmer, it's obviously receding slightly and he's trying to cover it with a sweep over.

• 30:55Speaker 02

  You can't sweep over, like, because, because of the, have you seen the pictures of Bobby Charlton? When Bobby Charlton's coma over is gone?

• 31:04Speaker 04

  I can't, I cannot look at him as a footballing great because his hair is too distracting.

• 31:08Speaker 02

  That, I totally agree.

• 31:10Speaker 04

  I'm just like, he's out of the picture.

• 31:11Speaker 02

  They say he's one of the greatest players of England I've ever had. I, what?

• 31:14Speaker 04

  I just think if you have to accept what you are and who you are, right? And part of accepting is you can improve it or change, but you need to go, right, I'm going bald, so I'm going to do this or whatever, right? And that's fine. But if you're an artist like Cole Palmer, he's not like a functional Scott McTominay athlete type. He's a brilliant, like genius at football. He can find little gaps and do amazing stuff. If you want to express yourself, you've got to accept yourself and just go, you can't hide your bald head with air spray and bits and bobs. You can't do it.

• 31:43Speaker 02

  Shall we ask the expert? Shall we ask the expert, Michael?

• 31:46Speaker 04

  Our resident bald expert, Michael, who looks like he's doing it. Michael, you have to look, and you're going to hate this, as a beefed up referee's assistant that works in the VAR room.

• 31:58Speaker 05

  I've had a lot worse. I've had a lot worse.

• 32:02Speaker 02

  So, Michael, how much would we have to pay you to get a Bobby Charlton comb over?

• 32:06Speaker 05

  Um, how long have I got to have it for?

• 32:08Speaker 04

  For your life, you just live like that?

• 32:10Speaker 05

  For the rest of my life.

• 32:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's just your new haircut, Bobby Charlton.

• 32:13Speaker 05

  I'd want at least a million pounds a year in my bank account at the start of every year.

• 32:17Speaker 04

  Well, what's the thought process here? No one's going, oh, he's got loads of air. No one's, you're not fooling anyone. No one's got-

• 32:24Speaker 02

  No, I'm falling for it.

• 32:25Speaker 04

  The wig, you know, the glue wigs. I'll let them off. On a quick glance, oh, they've got air. Bobby Charlton type hair, the sweeper, not just him, I know we're picking on him here, but loads of people out here. No one's looking at that air and going, Cole, he's got lovely long hair. He's got loads of it. Like, he's got a bald head, but he's-

• 32:41Speaker 02

  Is it because he's worried about the coldness on the top of his head? That could be the only explanation.

• 32:47Speaker 05

  I don't think those strands of hair are making much difference.

• 32:49Speaker 04

  Do you know what he looks like? He looks like, you know, when a kid needs to tidy their room and they can't be bothered? So they have all the mess on the floor, they chuck a rug on it.

• 32:57Speaker 04

  And then goes, look, a clean floor. And like, we all know what you're up to here.

• 33:01Speaker 02

  Would you have, would you have more respect for Cole Palmer if he did the Bobby Charlton comb over?

• 33:06Speaker 04

  Well, I just think he's almost doing that now. The problem is you do it now and it's incremental, where that's sort of sweeping it across. But I just think if you're playing football and you're getting hot and sweaty and you're going to be worried about your hair. You're too self-conscious.

• 33:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:18Speaker 04

  Wasn't Bale bald and he covered it with his long hair? And curled it round?

• 33:22Speaker 02

  Bale's got a good head of hair, hasn't he?

• 33:24Speaker 04

  He's got loads of hair, but there was rumours that it was balding in the middle, but he had so much long round, he sort of twisted it round until he could get a-

• 33:30Speaker 02

  He's kind of covered it up in a kind of, in a-

• 33:33Speaker 04

  I think it might have been a conspiracy theory. Yeah, he covered it up with a bun.

• 33:37Speaker 02

  No.

• 33:38Speaker 04

  That's what I heard. And then he got-

• 33:39Speaker 02

  That's not true.

• 33:41Speaker 04

  There's photos where he looks bald. Yeah, look.

• 33:44Speaker 02

  No, I refuse to believe that. I refuse to believe that.

• 33:47Speaker 04

  No, there's a, I don't know if he's been doctored, but it looks like he covers a ball patch up with loads of hair in the bun. Gareth, if you're listening, or if you know Gareth and you want to refuse, fine, let's set the record straight.

• 33:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, he looks a bit like, um, Rob de Bank.

• 34:00Speaker 04

  Well, I think it's an important thing to discuss because let's face it, the majority of our listeners are men-

• 34:05Speaker 02

  Heading that one.

• 34:06Speaker 04

  Of a certain age, where bald heads is part of life. And there's also a very strong listener group of women that potentially might be married to these bald men that aren't dealing with it very well.

• 34:14Speaker 02

  So is that your main take home from the Chelsea Arsenal game? That Cole Palmer needs to shave his head?

• 34:20Speaker 04

  And my main takeaway was Chelsea and Xabi Alonso are going to be really, really good. They're a problem. They're a very good attacking team.

• 34:26Speaker 02

  I like it.

• 34:27Speaker 04

  They went for it. Their defence needs a little bit of work, but also Arsenal are really, really solid. And I think Havertz is great, but I get it why people think he's not a proper striker because he's, he's not really.

• 34:38Speaker 02

  Are you joining me in coming to quite like Chelsea?

• 34:42Speaker 04

  If you take away-

• 34:45Speaker 02

  That they're Chelsea.

• 34:45Speaker 04

  The history of Chelsea and like Abramovich and some of their, the fans. I love Xabi Alonso, a big fan of Palmer and Morgan Rogers. Enzo Fernandez has gone, which is a huge boost for likability.

• 34:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 34:59Speaker 04

  And yeah, so, yeah, I think-

• 35:02Speaker 02

  Do you like JP Morgan?

• 35:04Speaker 04

  I hate the, I like the attacking line up, I think it's exciting for the league, don't like the name. And I love, Cole Palmer's one of my favourite players. I just want to see him with a big old air. And I genuinely think once the transplant happens, his career goes up three levels.

• 35:18Speaker 02

  Can I ask the next question?

• 35:20Speaker 04

  Go on.

• 35:20Speaker 02

  I don't think I like teams in blue.

• 35:26Speaker 04

  Okay, so Inter Milan?

• 35:30Speaker 02

  They're maybe an exception, but I like their black and white, black and blue stripes.

• 35:35Speaker 04

  Right, so all blue. So Chelsea, Everton, I love Everton.

• 35:38Speaker 02

  Do you like Everton?

• 35:39Speaker 04

  I love Everton.

• 35:40Speaker 02

  Really? The Toffees, your beloved Toffees?

• 35:43Speaker 04

  They had some great players that played for them. I love Moyes.

• 35:45Speaker 02

  We got a bit of abuse because, right, Everton mints have toffee in the middle of them.

• 35:50Speaker 04

  Right, so that's why they're called the Toffees and not the mints?

• 35:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:54Speaker 04

  Okay. Oh, glad we've got that covered. You fucking losers.

• 36:00Speaker 04

  Must tell them. Why do you care what we think? Do you know what I mean? Must tell them. Must you? I do love Everton. I don't want to go through a list. Oh, hang on, Bill sent some stats.

• 36:13Speaker 02

  I'll just tell them to-

• 36:14Speaker 04

  Sky Sports recorded an XG of 1.12 for Tottenham and 0.72 for Newcastle.

• 36:20Speaker 02

  But they weren't playing Newcastle.

• 36:21Speaker 04

  That was the first game. And then against Tottenham Forest, it was 1.6 versus 0.6.

• 36:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, but this doesn't matter.

• 36:28Speaker 04

  Then he said Brentford battered us, to be fair. Not going to send you that XG for that.

• 36:34Speaker 02

  But you can't, you can't beat Brentford. Brentford are incredible.

• 36:37Speaker 04

  Brentford are like so underrated.

• 36:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, Keith Andrews will be the manager of Spurs for the first six months of next season.

• 36:45Speaker 04

  Also, he started talking about Thomas Frank. You've had another manager between, Igor Tudor turned up.

• 36:51Speaker 02

  I know.

• 36:51Speaker 04

  Anyway, we were talking about Man United. I love Everton, Man United. I think Everton are great, great fans. They've got, I love, I don't want to go through a list. Also Tottenham wise, no, Everton scored a goal. But Troy Parrot, who they got rid of, striker, scored for Real Betis to beat Real Madrid. And then they've got Vasilovich, I can't remember how to say his name, is at Brighton from Tottenham, he scored. And Lancashire is scoring loads in the Championship.

• 37:17Speaker 02

  Oh, that's good. That's good to know.

• 37:19Speaker 04

  Um, David Moyes, love David Moyes.

• 37:22Speaker 02

  Do you like David Moyes?

• 37:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, I really like David Moyes.

• 37:24Speaker 02

  A bit like, um, you know John Major?

• 37:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:30Speaker 02

  You know how like, or the same happened with Gordon Brown as well. You know these prime ministers that aren't popular when they're prime minister, but then after a while, people see them as a kind of elder statesman?

• 37:42Speaker 04

  Well, I think, I think-

• 37:43Speaker 02

  I feel like David, David Moyes at Man U, everyone was like, he's shit. But then years later, you're like, oh, David Moyes, he's like a kind of, he's a solid elder statesman of the game. Do you know what I mean?

• 37:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, but also as well, as time's gone on, everyone's realised Man United was the problem, not the managers.

• 37:59Speaker 02

  Yes, yes.

• 38:00Speaker 04

  Because he can't have that, whatever's going on within that club as a thing.

• 38:05Speaker 02

  I don't know any other Man U manager that's come out of it since. He's the most successful of the Man U managers post Alex Ferguson.

• 38:15Speaker 04

  Is he?

• 38:16Speaker 02

  In terms of after Man U. Mourinho, done fuck all.

• 38:20Speaker 04

  Right, I'm going to stop you here, Josh. I think they may have done, well, they both won cups.

• 38:26Speaker 02

  Oh, who cares about cups?

• 38:28Speaker 04

  Well, no, but if you say they're done shit, he won the Europa League, Mourinho, he qualified for Champions. Erik ten Hag won the FA Cup. No, I'm not, I'm happy to call him shit.

• 38:37Speaker 02

  No, I don't mean at Man U. I don't mean at Man U. I mean, after leaving Man U.

• 38:41Speaker 04

  Oh, got you.

• 38:42Speaker 02

  Who's done well since? David Moyes has done well since. Mourinho, it's just gone everywhere, not been very good. Ten Hag, didn't he get sacked after one week somewhere?

• 38:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't know, but yeah. I'll listen to a football podcast, I'll have this to find out.

• 38:56Speaker 02

  Ralph Rangnick might as well be missing.

• 38:58Speaker 04

  I forgot about little Ralphie.

• 39:00Speaker 02

  Ruud van Nistelrooy? No.

• 39:02Speaker 04

  No.

• 39:03Speaker 02

  And then who was it? Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, he only manages Man U. He doesn't do anything else.

• 39:09Speaker 04

  Carrick, well Carrick's in now. And then we're rooming Aberdeen. I watched a bit, I'll tell you what, I watched AC Milan versus Juventus last night.

• 39:15Speaker 02

  What is wrong with you? Is it 1998?

• 39:19Speaker 04

  It was 1-1. I missed a last minute equaliser because I fell asleep.

• 39:24Speaker 04

  I, so a couple of things, because Ruben Amarin was on there, so I was basically wanting Juventus to beat Ruben Amarin. Because that sounds mean, but I enjoy the soap opera of, it's bad because they are people, but if someone's-

• 39:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:36Speaker 04

  Well, if someone's crap, but they stick to their guns the whole time, I think you're allowed to find it funny.

• 39:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:41Speaker 04

  If you continue to go, I only ever play the back five, and then you keep losing, you're like, well, maybe change it.

• 39:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:46Speaker 04

  I've jumped around a bit. I was going to say-

• 39:48Speaker 02

  No way.

• 39:49Speaker 04

  I know Michael's done a lot of away days. I would quite like people's advice on going to matches in Europe. Like for a little lads or football fringe trip, going to a town or city to watch a game.

• 40:01Speaker 02

  Where would you most like to go?

• 40:03Speaker 04

  Well, I'm going to Rome with the kids and Lou in the new year, around East, I don't know when we're going, but like, yeah, next-

• 40:08Speaker 02

  That's the away day.

• 40:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, so I have booked it so that Roma are playing at home.

• 40:14Speaker 02

  So who's going to go with you?

• 40:16Speaker 04

  Well, I might just go on my own, or Lou and the kids might come. We haven't decided yet. We're going to have to look at the tickets and stuff.

• 40:20Speaker 02

  Are they big Roma fans? I thought your kids supported Lazio.

• 40:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I've promised them they can wear their blue top underneath the Roma shirt, just for safety.

• 40:29Speaker 02

  Another blue team I don't like.

• 40:31Speaker 04

  I love Lazio's kit. Light blue, you've got to like light blue.

• 40:34Speaker 02

  I don't mind light blue. I don't mind-

• 40:36Speaker 04

  So you don't like dark blue? You don't like, blue, I know what you mean, I'm not a big fan of that, that dark blue. Who else was, Rangers?

• 40:43Speaker 02

  Rangers, I don't like Rangers.

• 40:44Speaker 04

  Why don't you like Rangers?

• 40:45Speaker 02

  Because they won the league every year when I was a kid, so I was a natural-

• 40:48Speaker 04

  Because they were too, yeah.

• 40:49Speaker 02

  Are you starting to feel sorry for Coventry?

• 40:52Speaker 04

  I think they'll turn it around. Hull look probably the best out of the promoted teams.

• 40:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, but that went last. They're Hull.

• 41:03Speaker 04

  We basically spent an hour making enemies on here.

• 41:07Speaker 02

  I don't mind. I don't mind.

• 41:09Speaker 04

  You wait till we try to sell it at all.

• 41:11Speaker 02

  But this is my problem with people.

• 41:12Speaker 04

  Can't shift a ticket and fucking-

• 41:14Speaker 02

  If that makes you not like me, right? If someone said to me, if someone said to me, if Plymouth were in the Premier League and someone said, well, they're going to go down because they're Plymouth. I wouldn't go, how dare you? How dare you speak badly of Plymouth Argyle? Because that's, who cares?

• 41:32Speaker 04

  Let's find out.

• 41:33Speaker 02

  Who cares? It's entertainment. It's like going, I don't like Ken Barlow. No one cares. It's entertainment.

• 41:40Speaker 04

  Well, how about this, Eni? Have you ever, let's do it, have you ever boycotted someone because of their football views? No, not you. I mean, the listeners.

• 41:46Speaker 02

  All right. Oh, sorry.

• 41:48Speaker 04

  You can email in if you want.

• 41:50Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 41:51Speaker 04

  What's the email address? [email protected].

• 41:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:55Speaker 04

  Is that right, Michael?

• 41:57Speaker 05

  Yeah, close enough.

• 41:58Speaker 04

  Well, no, not close enough. We need to know what it is to the email.

• 42:01Speaker 05

  That's right.

• 42:02Speaker 04

  Okay. And have you been to a Roma game, Michael? Any advice?

• 42:06Speaker 05

  Uh, I've been to a Lazio game and it was horrible.

• 42:08Speaker 04

  Oh, okay.

• 42:09Speaker 05

  I can't, I can't vouch for them. Very, very, uh, let's call them tasty ultras in the Lazio stand. Yeah, very, very, very, very politically charged, I'd say.

• 42:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, they are quite politically charged, Lazio.

• 42:24Speaker 04

  And, and you felt uncomfortable there as a bald white man? It must have been intense.

• 42:31Speaker 04

  If you feel under the cosh.

• 42:32Speaker 05

  Many years ago on a TV show, which I won't name, we filmed VT there. And the ultras who saw us filming with a camera, we had a small child who was sort of there, it was this kind of like Make-A-Wish style thing, being the presenter. They came over and threatened us to smash the camera up.

• 42:48Speaker 04

  Oh, God.

• 42:49Speaker 05

  That's how much they disliked being filming. So when I went back years later, it was, the vibe hadn't really changed, so.

• 42:54Speaker 04

  But maybe me and my blonde, blonde daughters might get carried through the standard at the front. They'll love us. Come on, they have blue eyes like that. I'm there, I've got a mask on, scarf. Let's go, lads.

• 43:13Speaker 02

  I want to discuss Meet the Owens.

• 43:17Speaker 04

  Oh my god.

• 43:18Speaker 02

  So for people that don't know what it is, basically, it's like a reality show about Michael Owen and his family.

• 43:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:29Speaker 02

  I'm shredding carefully here because, well, let's put it this way. He who has not made a bad TV show cast the first stone.

• 43:38Speaker 04

  No, I don't think it's a bad TV show.

• 43:40Speaker 02

  No.

• 43:41Speaker 04

  I actually think it's compulsive. It's electric viewing because essentially what you've got is Michael Owen, who is, who got injured, what we forget about Michael Owen was, he was for a period, the most, one of the most special people in the world. He was so special and like adored. And then obviously he got injured and do that. So I applaud him for having no bitterness, really. He seems very positive and he's moved on and he's obsessed with horses. He's obsessed with his family that refuses to tell he loves, which is quite a shift.

• 44:11Speaker 02

  Oh, that is so weird. He won't tell his family he loves them.

• 44:14Speaker 04

  He won't tell his kids he loves them, even though you can tell he loves them. You know, all he does is talk about them, look after them, mess about. But he's like, he engages in such a strange way. Like he calls his son a helmet.

• 44:24Speaker 02

  He's not got tons of banter. So he seems to be on a, on a mission to show that he isn't boring. He's been called boring by a lot of people and he wants to tell the world he's not boring. And I would say this show is not the best case for the defence.

• 44:47Speaker 04

  Well, yeah, because he's not boring. Well, he's not boring.

• 44:50Speaker 02

  Well, the first scene is him hungover and he kind of, we're led to believe that him going out and having drinks makes him entertaining. But that's, I'd say that's not what people mean when they say. That's two separate things. No one's going, the problem with Michael Owen is he doesn't get on it enough.

• 45:11Speaker 04

  Well, so I think though, I've watched the whole series and.

• 45:16Speaker 02

  Watched the whole series.

• 45:17Speaker 04

  I love it. But they, they actually all get a bit more relaxed around the cameras. I think episode one feels a bit awkward because I think, as you would, if you've got loads of cameras in your house, it's a little bit overwhelming and you're being filmed the whole time.

• 45:28Speaker 02

  There's an incredible scene with Jamie Carragher in episode one.

• 45:31Speaker 04

  Oh, what, he's showing around his stables?

• 45:33Speaker 02

  Yeah. And Jamie Carragher's never been there, despite them being mates for two and a half decades.

• 45:40Speaker 04

  He goes, so how long have you had this place? He goes, because he's 23 years. Imagine, you know, can, we've known each other 15.

• 45:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:51Speaker 04

  Imagine in 10 years' time, I discover you've got a stable with 50 horses that cost £2 million a year to run. And I wasn't even aware of it. Also as well, he lives about 20 minutes away from Owen. You would have passed it by accident, wouldn't you? And pop in for a cup of tea. If I lived half an hour away from you and you had a, you'd pop in, wouldn't you?

• 46:13Speaker 02

  Also, half the horses he's training are owned by other footballers. So you'd think it would have come up. Like he's like, that one's owned by Owen Hargreaves, who we work with together. So it's never come up. Or is Jamie Carragher just not sitting there going, what the fuck are these two talking about?

• 46:29Speaker 04

  Anyway, it's, I found it really fascinating.

• 46:31Speaker 02

  The first episode.

• 46:32Speaker 04

  I still don't know what to make of him.

• 46:34Speaker 02

  He's just a bloke, that's fine.

• 46:36Speaker 04

  No, I think he's, I find him so fascinating. Do you know what it is? He's constantly positive all the time, which is slightly unsettling.

• 46:46Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 46:46Speaker 04

  He's like, what? You know what I mean? He's, he seems to be really, but he's very competitive as well, which is like.

• 46:52Speaker 02

  But I also, I think when you're making a reality show, maybe it changes after episode one.

• 46:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:00Speaker 02

  There wasn't much at stake, Rob. The first episode, they kept saying stuff like, if he doesn't get a winner today in Chester, at Chester Races, then maybe it will be bad financially.

• 47:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:17Speaker 02

  Over the summer. But they, they're not very clear on that, to the point where you go, I don't think that does affect. And then they don't get a winner. They have 11 races and they come second in a few.

• 47:28Speaker 04

  Basically, what happens is there's a point where he doesn't sell a couple of horses that he needs to sell. Then what he does, he goes, yeah, you know, and to supplement the £1 million loss this year, I just have to go to work. And then there's like a montage of him just in Asia, doing loads of insane adverts in like China and Japan.

• 47:44Speaker 02

  Right.

• 47:45Speaker 04

  Where he's like doing aftershave and then he's doing commentary.

• 47:48Speaker 02

  This is the problem with it. You know, when the Osbournes came along and you were like, the reason this is brilliant is no one imagined they actually lived like this.

• 47:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 47:59Speaker 02

  When the Owens comes along, I go, yeah, this is exactly how I imagined Michael Owen's life. This is, so he's kind of got, he finances his kind of horse empire with adverts in, in countries where we don't see the adverts. And his daughter is trying to make it in TV presenting after being on Love Island. Kel surprise. And then like.

• 48:20Speaker 04

  He's got another daughter that's at uni studying sports psychology. Yep, could have guessed that. His other daughter's doing dressage. Yep, tick, tick, tick.

• 48:27Speaker 02

  And he's got a big house.

• 48:29Speaker 04

  Big house, teenage sweetheart, metaschool, tick, tick, tick, tick.

• 48:32Speaker 02

  So what is this revealing? Do you know what I mean? The only reveal seems to be that Jamie Carragher doesn't know Michael Owen has a stable.

• 48:43Speaker 04

  Surely they're chatting between games, like what are you doing at the weekend? He's like, I've come from the stables. He's got a barber jacket on and wellies.

• 48:50Speaker 02

  Carragher, the moment he hears horse talk, walks off, goes, not interested.

• 48:54Speaker 04

  The jeopardy is, he sort of talks about the stables. Like he says he loves it and my God, it's my favourite passion. That's what is, is a hobby for most people. And then he goes, but you know, we may not make any money. So God, I'm going to have to go to work again. And I'm like, yeah, that's everyone's life. Like, people are playing golf.

• 49:10Speaker 02

  I think that's the problem.

• 49:11Speaker 04

  But if you're playing golf five days a week, you're playing golf five days a week, right? And you go, I love playing golf. But the problem is, we've just got no money. So we're going to have to go to work. Yeah. You have to go to work, earn your money and then on your days off, play golf. And then that's just, that's called life, if you want to do that.

• 49:29Speaker 02

  I know there's a bit where his wife says he's just not got any money coming in anymore. So he's got to make the stables work. You're like, I'm really struggling in to, to care.

• 49:41Speaker 04

  Just don't, how about don't buy 10 horses this year? We need to save money. Don't buy 10 horses.

• 49:47Speaker 02

  All right, I can't get emotionally invested in the story about whether Michael Owen can afford to run his stables. Can I get emotionally invested like the story of his incredibly rich daughter trying to make it as a TV presenter? Now I'm struggling with that as well. I'll be honest with you.

• 50:04Speaker 04

  Fingers crossed she gets that job.

• 50:06Speaker 02

  Oh, please.

• 50:07Speaker 04

  But I, I loved it. I think it'll be.

• 50:09Speaker 02

  The problem is they all seem very nice as well. There's no like, there are no like, fucking hell, this, this wife's an absolute nightmare. Do you know what I mean? There's none of that. There's just, it's the opposite of The Real Housewives.

• 50:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, because a reality show is basically, look how mad some people can be. This is, look how normal people are.

• 50:28Speaker 02

  Here's some really normal people. And the twist is, one of them wants you to not think he's boring.

• 50:38Speaker 04

  And that's the main arc.

• 50:40Speaker 02

  That's the main arc.

• 50:41Speaker 04

  And at no point does he show that he's not boring.

• 50:44Speaker 02

  No, there's an absolute, there's a bit in the first episode where he goes, they're filming at Chester Racecourse. Also, I, I know it, Chester Racecourse isn't an exciting enough place to be doing the first. Do you know what I mean?

• 51:01Speaker 04

  You know, if you said to me like, Michael Owen, that's probably the nearest one to his house. It's like, we're going to film Rob, Rob's doing a Rob Beckett reality show. What's he doing? Well, he's going to drive to Bromley to do a work in progress. And what's he going to do after that? He's going to drive home and if Lou's still awake, they might watch an episode of, on a telly. But if not, probably go to bed and then wake up and do the school run.

• 51:22Speaker 02

  Yeah. And do you know what? He's, he wants to show he's not boring.

• 51:25Speaker 04

  Yeah. And do you know what? He really wants to make golf work for him, but he's shit at it and he's not earning any money from it. So he may have to go on tour again. And what's Lou like? Really nice, actually. She's writing a book. Oh, what does she do? She sort of just sits and writes all down in her office and then gets the kids from school.

• 51:44Speaker 02

  Yeah. And how are the kids doing? Yeah, they're enjoying school and they're doing well, actually.

• 51:48Speaker 04

  Kids are actually fine, yeah, really good, yeah. Sometimes, you know, there's a few problems, but we speak to the teachers, that gets resolved. And then every weekend we do a dog walk. I mean, to be fair, we are actually shitting on A Parent in Hell at the moment.

• 52:04Speaker 02

  Could I just draw attention to the one last bit in the episode one, which I, which made me want to go, oh, I can't do this.

• 52:10Speaker 04

  I'm jealous you've got more to watch, to be honest.

• 52:12Speaker 02

  When they're in the bar at Chester Racecourse and they're filming. Someone goes, are you filming or something? And he goes, yeah. The sound man's a bit of a knobhead or something like that.

• 52:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:24Speaker 02

  And then it kind of pans around to the sound man who's like, and then Michael Owen's like, oh, he doesn't get my humour? And you're like, oh mate.

• 52:34Speaker 04

  It's very David Brent.

• 52:35Speaker 02

  It's really David Brent.

• 52:36Speaker 04

  But like David Brent, he's lovable. I quite like Michael. It's hard not to like him.

• 52:39Speaker 02

  He's a nice man who I would say doesn't have the insane weirdness that you need for reality TV.

• 52:50Speaker 04

  Yes. And there's, it's all, they all look perfectly turned out. It's all very calm. Everything's measured. What you want is chaos, really.

• 52:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly. You want.

• 52:58Speaker 04

  On the other day, for example, I tried to go and get some parcels from the neighbours and I was wearing some sort of like pajama trousers, a bit too loose fitting. And then I put, I had to pick up the parcels from the neighbours and I put my phone in my pocket, which is quite heavy. Then by the time I'd got back to my door, my trousers and pants had fallen down.

• 53:14Speaker 02

  Exactly, exactly. That's not happening to Michael Owen.

• 53:16Speaker 04

  That's what you want, all pixelated. That's the start of the show, which is why, guys, listen to Parent in Hell. It's an absolute hoot.

• 53:24Speaker 02

  But what you don't want is, and I'm going to say it, two minutes on whether he likes Dairy Lee.

• 53:32Speaker 04

  Did he do that?

• 53:34Speaker 02

  How many Dairy Lees do you have on a piece of toast? Far, has this made the edit?

• 53:37Speaker 04

  Was that on it? I must have just blanked out.

• 53:39Speaker 02

  When he's hungover and he's like, oh, do you like this Dairy Lee? Yeah. How many do you have on a piece of toast? It was, what is going on?

• 53:47Speaker 04

  I would, to be fair, Josh, if someone said they saw you do a gig and that was part of your crowd work, I wouldn't believe them. Dairy Lee? Don't have a tip with the Primula? Oh, you're posh, Philly, Philadelphia?

• 54:00Speaker 02

  Laughing cow. No, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not referring to you, madam.

• 54:11Speaker 04

  Oh God, right. Okay, so see you next week for another installment of Footlin' Hell.

• 54:16Speaker 02

  I really enjoy that. I'll try and watch some more Michael Owens.

• 54:19Speaker 04

  Champions League this week, multi-screen on TNT Sport. Love a bit of that.

• 54:23Speaker 02

  So, so what have we got this week?

• 54:25Speaker 04

  The Champions League, so Arsenal playing Napoli.

• 54:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:28Speaker 04

  In a game of what is basically zero importance due to the new film.

• 54:32Speaker 02

  Well, this is a problem. This is the problem. This is why we need the European Super League ASAP, Rob.

• 54:36Speaker 04

  It needs to matter immediately.

• 54:38Speaker 02

  It needs to matter immediately.

• 54:40Speaker 04

  Manchester Derby on Sunday.

• 54:41Speaker 02

  Could I just ask this now?

• 54:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:44Speaker 02

  Are we, are we Carrick out, Michael? Am I starting Carrick out?

• 54:49Speaker 05

  No, I think you're jumping on the Carrick out bandwagon.

• 54:51Speaker 02

  What, someone already started Carrick out?

• 54:54Speaker 05

  Well, I didn't want Carrick to get the job full-time anyway, because I think exactly what's going to happen was going to happen, which is, we played five games last season. We literally played, statistically, you couldn't have played as few games as we played because we went out first round in every single cup competition. The squad isn't deep enough. He's not, he's not experienced enough. We've already started slow.

• 55:16Speaker 02

  It's so funny. It's so perfect.

• 55:19Speaker 05

  He will not be there at the end of the season.

• 55:21Speaker 02

  Who will be there at the end of the season, Michael? Because they like to change from one to the other, don't they? So they go, so they go, uh, wild European. No, because he's too similar. So it'll go, it'll go.

• 55:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:33Speaker 02

  It'll go Carrick. Now it'll have to go like.

• 55:35Speaker 04

  Tuchel.

• 55:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, Tuchel. And then it'll be, um, Chris Smalling. And then it'll be.

• 55:43Speaker 04

  Would you take Pep if he wanted to come?

• 55:45Speaker 05

  Oh, that's a good question. Yeah, do you know what I would?

• 55:50Speaker 02

  If he said, I'll be bringing up my divorce in every team talk.

• 55:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:56Speaker 02

  That's the kind of person who would want a reality TV show.

• 55:59Speaker 05

  I think the job is too big for Pep. I think the job's too, the club is so tough.

• 56:02Speaker 04

  What? What? Are you going to get fucking God?

• 56:05Speaker 05

  Yeah, but they're not, they're not going to give him 400 million to spend. He can't spend, he can't sign a new left-back every half a season because he's bored of the recent one.

• 56:13Speaker 04

  Well, have you not got no money? You're the biggest club in the world, aren't you?

• 56:15Speaker 05

  Yeah, we've got money. We, we just spend it poorly. I just think it's a poison chalice where we are a very long way away from.

• 56:22Speaker 04

  You're just dead forever.

• 56:23Speaker 05

  No, not for, not forever, but I think we're.

• 56:26Speaker 02

  Liverpool came back.

• 56:27Speaker 05

  Yeah, but we're, we're at that phase just before they appointed, um, what's his, uh, Houliard. We need someone to come in and do what Houliard did.

• 56:35Speaker 02

  That long ago.

• 56:36Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah. Because he, he rebuilt the club behind the scenes and the reason for the following success.

• 56:41Speaker 04

  He did, Houliard did.

• 56:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah. If you speak to the Liverpool people, what Houliard did, even though he didn't win much, changed the landscape of that club internally and behind the scenes and allowed then everything that followed.

• 56:53Speaker 02

  Have we ended, have we ended with a good point, Michael?

• 56:56Speaker 05

  I wouldn't go that far.

• 56:57Speaker 02

  Have we ended with learning something?

• 56:58Speaker 04

  It's so funny that the only one who knows about football doesn't speak.

• 57:04Speaker 04

  Football-wise, games at the weekend on TV, um, there's Sunderland Arsenal, eight o'clock on Saturday night, and Tottenham and Everton at 5.30 just before, so that's good. And then Sunday is Manchester Derby.

• 57:18Speaker 02

  I went to a very nice barbecue yesterday, Rob.

• 57:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, okay. As a vegetarian.

• 57:23Speaker 02

  Everyone was lovely. Hello me. And, um, we had a lovely time, but there was zero mention of the football. I didn't know what to do.

• 57:33Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 57:33Speaker 02

  I just couldn't believe, I thought.

• 57:36Speaker 04

  They'll have it on, they'll have it on a screen.

• 57:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:39Speaker 04

  So now, I would, is there anyone there that you know likes football normally?

• 57:43Speaker 02

  Well, I don't think so because I didn't know everyone and I don't thi, I think I was the only football fan.

• 57:49Speaker 04

  Personally, I'm going, uh, Everton, Man United, should we stick it on?

• 57:56Speaker 02

  And they're going.

• 57:56Speaker 04

  And if they say no, I just put it on my phone and have it on silent on the table.

• 58:00Speaker 02

  Watch it on your phone?

• 58:01Speaker 04

  Yeah, just on the table. I'm chatting away, but anything good happens, I pop down here.

• 58:04Speaker 02

  Oh man, do you think that's acceptable?

• 58:07Speaker 04

  No, but I don't care.

• 58:11Speaker 04

  What are they going to do? Do you see what Rob did? He had his phone out with the football on. Yeah, end of, end of, yeah. All right then. Okay, all right. So your anecdote's better than Arsenal Chelsea. Off you go.

• 58:22Speaker 04

  I'm in. Come on, come on.

• 58:24Speaker 02

  Your anecdote better than, than JP Morgan up against Gabrielle and Esri Konser?

• 58:30Speaker 04

  I've known you for 10 years. Have I ever repeated a story you've told me? Nope. But I turn up, I smile to make the whole world go round and make it normal. Okay, so why don't you let me have a little bit of football on and you can talk your shit? What's that?

• 58:42Speaker 02

  Someone's personalised this for his own issues.

• 58:44Speaker 04

  Or I just don't go, I'll just, like, we, we, no, but we socialise in the morning. We're Sunday morning socialising.

• 58:50Speaker 02

  I might say next time, oh, I've got to watch this for the pod.

• 58:54Speaker 04

  Yes, that's, see, that's a just ridiculous way. The much more, you know, smoother as opposed to me immediately having an argument with someone's wife.

• 59:04Speaker 04

  What's the worst case scenario is, your friend's wife doesn't like you. Oh yeah, Barford.

• 59:10Speaker 02

  Rob, I'm, I'm friends with the wife.

• 59:12Speaker 04

  Does she like football? Women do like football. I've got my friend Harriet coming over to watch the, uh, Manchester Derby at the weekend.

• 59:18Speaker 02

  I mean it.

• 59:19Speaker 04

  I've got female friends, actually.

• 59:20Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 59:21Speaker 04

  I love women.

• 59:26Speaker 02

  See you later.

• 59:28Speaker 04

  Bye.