Normal Gossip Live in Seattle with Josh Gwynn

We've got a surprise for you! Here's the recording from our September 2025 live show in Seattle, featuring Josh Gwynn! For more of Josh and Rachelle gossiping, here's Rachelle on Josh's show Back Issue https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/in-our-gossip-girl-era/id1517702956?i=1000605126870. Subscribe to our newsletter for writing from Rachelle, Se'era, Jae, Alex, and Kelsey, plus blog recommendations and secrets! https://defector.com/normal-gossip-podcast You can support Normal Gossip directly by buying merch https://defectorstore.com/collections/normal-gossip or becoming a Friend or a Friend-of-Friend at supportnormalgossip.com https://defector.com/products/normalgossip. You can also find all kinds of info about us and how to submit gossip on our Komi page:https://normalgossip.komi.io/ Episode transcript here https://docs.google.com/document/d/1V2flnZrqltvRxV-dQ0BjXzqTXtqgLLFo0C7oSiZcANM/edit?usp=sharing. Follow the show on Instagram@normalgossip https://www.instagram.com/normalgossip/, and if you have gossip, email us at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 26-79-GOSSIP. Normal Gossip is hosted by Rachelle Hampton (@heyydnae https://www.instagram.com/heyydnae/?hl=en) and produced by Se'era Spragley Ricks (@seera_sharae https://www.instagram.com/seera_sharae/?hl=en) and Jae Towle Vieira (@jaetowlevieira https://instagram.com/jaetowlevieira?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==). Alex Sujong Laughlin (@alexlaughs https://www.instagram.com/alexlaughs/) is our Supervising Producer. Justin Ellis is Defector's projects editor. Show art by Tara Jacoby. Normal Gossip is a proud member ofRadiotopia https://www.radiotopia.fm/. Learn about your ad choices: dovetail.prx.org/ad-choices https://dovetail.prx.org/ad-choices

• 0:06Speaker 00

  Hello and welcome to Normal Gossip. I'm your host, Rachel Hampton, and in each episode of this podcast, we're gonna bring you an anonymous must of gossip from the real world. Today's episode is an extra special one. If y'all can remember, all the way back to September of last year, listen, I know it's hard because the first three weeks of this year have felt like a decade. But if you can remember all the way back to September of last year, you might recall that Ciara and I went on our very first live tour. It was an absolutely incredible experience and we wanted to be able to share it with those of you who couldn't make it out to a show, or for those beautiful souls in Austin, we had to camp for on because I got sick. I'm so sorry, Austin.

• 0:51Speaker 00

  So, to make it up and to give y'all a sneak peek of the next tour we go on, we recorded our tour stop in Seattle, which was a real full circle moment for me because I was the guest for Kelsey's stop in Seattle all the way back in 2023, back when the thought of hosting this show would have felt like an impossible dream. So, I cannot say how surreal it was to be back in the Moore Theater, where in a way, it all kind of started for me. This is also the point in the tour where I started getting comfortable onstage. I don't know if I've said this, my memory is not what it used to be,

• 1:32Speaker 00

  but I had no stage experience before I started hosting this show. I had done some talkbacks and Q and As, but the New York stop of Normal Gossip at Town Hall on Broadway was my first time being in control of a stage. So, shout out to New York and Boston because I was shitting bricks the entire two first nights, but y'all really kept me going. All to say, if you have heard this tour story, it might be fun to hear it again, not least because my guest for Seattle was none other than Josh Gwynn. You will hear more of Josh's bio on the live show audio. But way back in March of 2023, Josh had me on his incredible show Back Issue

• 2:16Speaker 00

  to talk about gossip. I know. I honestly forgot that we had talked about that until I went looking for the episode, which is a reflection of my memory and not how much fun I had with Josh. Which y'all will hear in just a second. We will link that back issue episode in our show notes. But without further ado, let's jump right in. I hope you enjoy. Hello, Seattle.

• 2:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:50Speaker 00

  I've been waiting to say that for a long time. I was an OG Out of City fan. If you get that joke, you're too old.

• 2:59Speaker 00

  Our guest tonight is an audio producer, host and creative, who has created work for Pineapple Street Media, The New York Times, Netflix, Nike, Higher Ground and more. Please welcome to the stage Josh Gwynn.

• 3:29Speaker 00

  Hello, Josh.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  Hey.

• 3:32Speaker 00

  Thank you so much for joining me.

• 3:34Speaker 01

  Hey, Seattle. How y'all doing?

• 3:38Speaker 00

  How are you feeling?

• 3:40Speaker 01

  Good. I'm good.

• 3:41Speaker 00

  Yeah?

• 3:42Speaker 01

  I ain't got a job.

• 3:44Speaker 00

  Hire Josh.

• 3:47Speaker 00

  I heard you have some gossip for me.

• 3:50Speaker 01

  Neighborhood gossip counts, right?

• 3:51Speaker 00

  Oh, certainly.

• 3:54Speaker 01

  So, I live in Atlanta. Shout out to the A. Shout out to the A.

• 4:01Speaker 01

  And I live in this neighborhood that is idyllic. Like, it's, I live in Decatur.

• 4:08Speaker 01

  And I love where it's greater. And I love my neighbors. Like, I don't know any of their first names because next to me is Ms. Clark, and Mr. Miller lives across the street. There's someone that's closer to my age, and her name's Tara. She lives to my left. These are all really important to the story. So, I move in, and there's a house. All of these neighbors are older and retired, and they have nothing to do but be in your business, which is great because nothing bad happens. So...

• 4:43Speaker 01

  Maybe like six months after I move in, there's a house that's like four houses down the road that falls into disrepair. Like the gutters fall down and again, everyone is unemployed, including me now. And so they all call code enforcement and they fix it up. New tenants move in. And weirdly, they have a U-Haul truck in front of their house for like a month. And everyone in the neighborhood's like, that's weird. So one night, I'm coming home late and maybe like 11 or 12. There's cars up, all up and down the street and blue and red lights coming from inside the house. And I'm like, oh, that's cute. Like, they just moved in, they don't have furniture. They probably had their friend DJ a party. Like, who hasn't done that?

• 5:26Speaker 00

  That's exactly what I think.

• 5:28Speaker 01

  So I don't think about it. Maybe like a month later, my mom is extremely handy. Like, um, she like built my crawl space door from hand, handy.

• 5:38Speaker 00

  Bob the builder ass bitch.

• 5:40Speaker 01

  So I had her come for a month. I was like, there's a bunch of shit I need help with. And we need to put like new doors on my patio and that sort of thing. So, um, we need to go to Lowe's. And Ms. Clark, who's my next door neighbor, was like, I want you and Tara to take over. We don't have an HOA, but we have like a community association where you pay like $25 a year and like get to have breakfast at her place. And she makes like bacon, egg and cheeses from scratch with maple like sauce. It's amazing.

• 6:12Speaker 00

  That is a phenomenal deal.

• 6:14Speaker 01

  It's great. And she can cook her butt off. But I couldn't go because I had to make an appointment to get a U-Haul. So me and my mom go and get the U-Haul. And she couldn't help me lift it, it was really heavy. So she's like, I see a guy over there cutting his grass. I'm gonna go pay him 10 bucks to help you move this door. And I'm like, okay. So she hops out. I pull up to my house and I see all of these old people coming out of Ms. Clark's house towards the U-Haul. And I'm like, what is going on? My neighbor Tara, the one that's close to my age, runs across her yard, runs up to me and goes, "Girl, they thought you was moving stuff into the stripper house."

• 6:58Speaker 01

  I said, "Bitch, what?"

• 7:00Speaker 00

  What?

• 7:01Speaker 01

  What is a stripper house? And she said, "Every room in this house has a stripper pole. They have a bouncer."

• 7:09Speaker 01

  There's, it's a stripper house. I'm like, "That is the most Atlanta shit I've ever heard in my life."

• 7:17Speaker 01

  And at first, I'm like,

• 7:21Speaker 01

  "Get out, you livin', you know, like, be creative."

• 7:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:24Speaker 01

  Like, I get it, like-

• 7:25Speaker 00

  I don't yuck anybody's yum.

• 7:26Speaker 01

  Whatever. And she was like, "No, girl, they were, they were shooting in the stripper house." I said, "Y'all can't be strewn in the stripper house."

• 7:32Speaker 00

  Nooo.

• 7:33Speaker 01

  I was trying to take your side. So I don't think about it for like, another month. But then, all of a sudden, the stripper house is turned. I wake up from a, from a panic dream at 3:00 in the morning.

• 7:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, ooh.

• 7:44Speaker 01

  It looks like Magic City outside. I was like, "What the hell is going on?"

• 7:48Speaker 00

  Waking up from a panic dream to Magic Mike on your front door is a lot. That is a lot.

• 7:52Speaker 01

  Right. So, I wake up one morning, and Tara texts me, and she goes, "Girl, come outside. They got the strippers."

• 8:05Speaker 01

  So, me and every other person on my block pretends to do yard work at 7:00 a.m., or it's like, like 9:00 a.m. on a Tuesday. All of us are out there just-

• 8:25Speaker 00

  A little nail clipper by the, by the lawn?

• 8:28Speaker 01

  It's like, "Girl, are we on Mysteria Lane? What's going on?" They put all they shit out on the front lawn, right? So, we're standing at the corner by the mailbox, and my neighbor Tara, she's like this tall. She's like waving at the officer. She's like, "Sir, sir." And he's like, "I see you. You're in the street. I'm coming." So, she goes, "Was it a stripper house?" And I will remember what he responds until the day I die. He goes,

• 8:59Speaker 01

  "Ma'am, I can't tell you whether for sure they were strippers, but I could tell you they were in there working."

• 9:12Speaker 01

  I said, "What does that mean?"

• 9:16Speaker 01

  So, he's explaining that there's not only stripper poles in each room, there's a menu on the wall with the different food that they're selling. They're making tacos, bitch. I was like, "I didn't get a taco."

• 9:28Speaker 00

  I bet their wings are fire.

• 9:30Speaker 01

  I like tacos.

• 9:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:32Speaker 01

  So, then he asked my neighbor on a date, and she was like, "Whatever," and then "Leave me alone." So, he calls her back the week after, and he's like, "Oh, where are we going to dinner?" And she's like, "We're not going nowhere. Leave me alone." But also, "When are they gonna come get their stuff? Because it's still on the front lawn." And he was like, "Probably never, because the lease that they gave us was fake." And they had been there for a year, just squatting.

• 9:56Speaker 00

  Just squatting in the stripper house?

• 9:59Speaker 01

  In the stripper house. And the thing is, if they hadn't been turning donuts and turning up so crazy, nobody would've said a word. So, I get pissed, right? Because I'm like, "Why are y'all taking advantage of, like, you know, like, most of my neighbors are like, older, black folks that have lived there since the 70s." Like, "Why are y'all doing this?" So, I just Google "Atlanta stripper house." It's just an epidemic.

• 10:22Speaker 00

  It's an epidemic?

• 10:24Speaker 01

  It's an epidemic. There's this woman who lives in like, the north suburbs of Atlanta. That's like, the bougie area. It's past Buckhead.

• 10:34Speaker 01

  This woman that's deployed, her house is like, 3,500 square feet. They turned it into a stripper house. And I'm like, "Atlanta's like, the stripper capital of Ameri-" Like, "Bitch, go down to Magic City and have some wings." Like, "What's really going on?"

• 10:50Speaker 00

  The money that they must be saving on rent has to be incredible. This has to be working out some way in the end.

• 10:56Speaker 01

  Ms. Clark did say, my other neighbor, she was like, "But the money they were saving on rent, they could've at least got their hair done."

• 11:13Speaker 01

  Southern shade, you can't beat it.

• 11:15Speaker 00

  Josh, that was incredible. I'm gonna be thinking about, I don't know if they were stripping, but they were certainly working for a long time now. Wow. Thank you so much.

• 11:30Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 11:31Speaker 00

  Also, your story somehow manages to intersect with ours.

• 11:35Speaker 01

  What?

• 11:36Speaker 00

  I'm not gonna tell you how.

• 11:37Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 11:38Speaker 00

  But are you ready for some gossip?

• 11:40Speaker 01

  I'm ready. I'm ready. Are y'all ready?

• 11:53Speaker 00

  I'm gonna admit something embarrassing. I know, shocker. I have not had a bedside lamp for an undisclosed amount of months, long enough that I basically haven't read before bed for a really long time. And I only realized this because I'm hosting a friend and I was like, wow, they deserve to have a light by their bed at night. I don't. But this finally inspired me to find the perfect bedside lamp. And I had a vision in mind, Wayfair. They had exactly what I need, which is one of those library-style lights with like the green lampshade and little pull cord. I have been having this image in my mind of having one, and now I have one because of course Wayfair had it. For all things hosting, Wayfair

• 12:37Speaker 00

  delivers high-quality, customer-trusted products for your home so you can host and celebrate without distress. When refreshing your home this holiday season, Wayfair delivers exactly what you need. Head to wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com.

• 12:58Speaker 00

  We've been cooking up a fun, special holiday project for y'all over here at Normal Gossip. And usually when work gets crazy, I kinda just try to continue my life like nothing's happening. But recently, thanks to therapy, this time around, I was like, what if I did not try to? Pour from an empty cup. And that is what growing feels like. If you've been thinking about starting therapy, then I think you should check out today's sponsor, Growth Therapy. Growth Therapy is built for therapy that actually feels like care. You can find therapy based on what matters most to you, like insurance taken, mental health specialties, identity, or night and weekend availability if you're working a lot.

• 13:43Speaker 00

  Book your first session in minutes and you can start in as little as two days. Sessions average $21 with insurance and some pay as little as $0 depending on your insurance plan. Prepare for holiday glimmers instead of holiday stress. Visit growtherapy.com/gossip to get started today. That is growtherapy.com/gossip. Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan.

• 14:10Speaker 02

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• 14:45Speaker 00

  All right, everyone. Buckle up because today's story is about a bachelorette party.

• 14:55Speaker 00

  And not just any bachelorette party. We are talking the bachelorette party. Think mandatory, matching silk robes. Think themes every single night. Think dickstraws?

• 15:11Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 15:15Speaker 00

  Josh, have you ever seen a bachelorette trip in the wild? You're in Atlanta, so I'm assuming.

• 15:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:22Speaker 00

  How would you describe the vibe?

• 15:24Speaker 01

  I mean, is it one that's happening at a gay club? Or is it one that's happening anywhere else?

• 15:30Speaker 00

  Let's go in the gay club.

• 15:32Speaker 01

  Um, obnoxious.

• 15:37Speaker 01

  I'm drunk. This song is about me. They tend to take up a lot of space, but they seem to be like, you know, good times. I love any sort of thing that goes into like the commitment for a themed night. Like everyone, especially if you've traveled, because I mean, everyone packed their luggage, like thinking and committing to the theme. So I appreciate that.

• 16:02Speaker 00

  There is something about committing to the bit that's really...

• 16:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:06Speaker 00

  Yeah. Our bachelorette trip is definitely committing to a bit because it's a bachelorette weekend in the bachelorette capital of America.

• 16:15Speaker 01

  Vegas? Nashville.

• 16:20Speaker 01

  I know, I just know, I just know, at some point, they got on one of those bikes where everybody's biking at the same time. Like, I gotta exercise in order to have my drink. What the hell?

• 16:32Speaker 00

  Josh, you might be psychic.

• 16:37Speaker 00

  And the weekend our bride has chosen for her bachelorette is none other than Memorial Day weekend, because everyone has off, you know? How do you feel about spending a holiday weekend at a bachelorette party?

• 16:50Speaker 01

  Do I like the people?

• 16:54Speaker 01

  Like, is this like a day one? But if it's like, I'm tangentially related, like, girl, you're not special enough to get my barbecue day?

• 17:05Speaker 00

  It's like somewhere in the middle of those two things.

• 17:08Speaker 01

  Then I think it's brave.

• 17:10Speaker 00

  It is. It's a brave choice. I want to hear from y'all. All of y'all have beautiful little glow sticks. I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to raise your bracelets in the air depending on your answer. So if you feel really good about spending your holiday weekend at a bachelorette party, raise your glow stick.

• 17:31Speaker 00

  I'm seeing like six, six glow sticks max. Okay, now put them down.

• 17:40Speaker 00

  If you feel bad about spending your holiday weekend at a bachelorette party, raise your glow stick.

• 17:45Speaker 01

  It looked like a Taylor Swift concert.

• 17:47Speaker 00

  Seeing a lot more. Yeah, yeah. Okay, put them down. Our friend of a friend is low-key on the fence about this entire enterprise, even though she is the maid of honor.

• 18:03Speaker 00

  Tonight's friend of a friend is named Remy.

• 18:10Speaker 00

  Remy is in her late twenties. Remy is low maintenance. Like, she's the kind of girl who wouldn't even have a bachelorette party or even a wedding. She'd just have like a big party in her backyard with all of her closest friends and call it a day.

• 18:23Speaker 01

  That's me down.

• 18:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. Are you like a big wedding proponent or are you just taking your ass to the courthouse?

• 18:28Speaker 01

  I love other people's weddings because we're eating other people's money. I like, for me, do you remember on Netflix, there was that show where it was like, House or the Wedding? And they had the couples.

• 18:40Speaker 00

  Marriage or Mortgage? I love that show. There's only been one season and it's a crime.

• 18:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, how is it a question?

• 18:48Speaker 00

  But then so many people chose marriage. Remy is low maintenance, but her best friend is not. And her best friend is our bride.

• 18:56Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 18:56Speaker 00

  Who will be referred to as the bride.

• 19:03Speaker 00

  Remy and the bride have been friends since high school. They stayed friends through college and post-grad. Remy studied pre-law and she's now a lawyer for a nonprofit. And if we're being totally honest here, her opinions about big weddings are mostly about the fact that she can't afford one. But it's okay. Remy is laboring for love, not for profit. Anyone here have any familiarity with that?

• 19:28Speaker 00

  Whose retirement plan is climate collapse?

• 19:34Speaker 00

  But the bride went to a big state school in the South. Her major is not important.

• 19:42Speaker 00

  What is important is that her freshman year, the bride rushed a sorority, Omega Theta Pi.

• 19:49Speaker 01

  Is that a real sorority?

• 19:50Speaker 00

  No, I'm not catching that kind of smoke.

• 19:56Speaker 00

  By the time the bride graduated, she was president of her school's chapter.

• 20:02Speaker 00

  Which looked great on her applications for grad school, where she studied... Actually, Josh, I want to ask you. What do you think our bride studied? Big state school in the South, president of her sorority chapter. What do you think she's doing for her masters?

• 20:18Speaker 01

  Nursing.

• 20:19Speaker 00

  Communications?

• 20:20Speaker 01

  Nursing.

• 20:22Speaker 00

  Nursing?

• 20:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:23Speaker 00

  That's a popular one.

• 20:26Speaker 00

  Do y'all have any guesses?

• 20:31Speaker 00

  Sociology? Okay, I've heard sociology, communications, and poli sci, and nursing.

• 20:41Speaker 00

  Elementary. These are all such good guesses. None of them are correct.

• 20:47Speaker 00

  Our bride studied library and information science.

• 20:50Speaker 01

  Wow!

• 20:53Speaker 00

  That's right. She's a hot librarian.

• 20:57Speaker 01

  I love this.

• 20:59Speaker 00

  You love her?

• 21:00Speaker 01

  Yeah!

• 21:00Speaker 00

  You're on the bride's side. You like our hot librarian?

• 21:02Speaker 01

  I just love the idea that you have to like, like, what do you have your seminars in? Like, the Dewey Decimal System?

• 21:09Speaker 00

  Exactly.

• 21:10Speaker 01

  What, what are you learning in?

• 21:13Speaker 00

  In grad school.

• 21:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, in these classes.

• 21:16Speaker 00

  Yeah. The bride had it all planned out. She was gonna take four years to party, and then it's time to buckle down. In the library. Yeah. Low-key, the bride has her whole life planned out, and not just her life. Like, Remy knows the bride is the kind of person who has had a draft of her own will ready since she was 23, because she doesn't trust anyone else in her life to plan her funeral. Like, what if they get the playlist wrong?

• 21:46Speaker 01

  Wait, what is on this?

• 21:49Speaker 01

  Daughtry?

• 21:54Speaker 01

  Avril Lavigne, I can do that.

• 21:57Speaker 01

  Wow. I was just defending her.

• 22:00Speaker 00

  Just defending Daughtry?

• 22:01Speaker 01

  Daughtry. Gone too soon. It should've been, "It's not over."

• 22:09Speaker 00

  Knowing this about the bride, Remy knows what kind of energy the bride is gonna be bringing to her bachelorette, and the bride has had a lot of time to think about her bachelorette. Because she was president of her chapter of Omega Theta Pi, by the time she gets married in her late twenties, which is a little late, if you ask her sorority sisters.

• 22:31Speaker 00

  Well, by the time the bride starts planning her wedding, she's already been a bridesmaid in ten weddings.

• 22:39Speaker 00

  Ten, one, zero. The bride does not feel any type of way about that. At all.

• 22:49Speaker 00

  Besides, the extra experience means that by the time the bride's wedding rolls around, she's already prepared. She knows the common pitfalls. She's been on unending email threads about etiquette that mostly come down to who's gonna pay for what. And our bride is a benevolent bitch. She knows some of her friends, like Remy, come from less comfortable backgrounds. So our bride takes it upon herself to plan her own bachelorette party. She books everything herself, and that way she can just divide the cost among the eleven other women invited on this trip.

• 23:26Speaker 01

  Wait, you said divide the cost?

• 23:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:28Speaker 01

  Is that usually how it works?

• 23:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:31Speaker 01

  What?

• 23:32Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:34Speaker 01

  Why do I have to pay for your life decisions?

• 23:41Speaker 01

  I'm single for a reason.

• 23:44Speaker 00

  Do you see any problem with this plan besides the general unfairness of bachelorette parties?

• 23:48Speaker 01

  Well, if that's just like generally how it's done, I'm, you know, I'm not aware. But like, if that's generally how it's done, whatever. I like the fact that if you're a control freak and you know that you're a control freak, then control it, freak.

• 24:04Speaker 01

  Take the initiative. Don't, I can't stand somebody who expects people to read their mind.

• 24:10Speaker 00

  I know. Like, girl, speak up.

• 24:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, stand up, girl.

• 24:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, the bride spoke up and everything is already booked.

• 24:20Speaker 00

  Here's the invitation that Remy receives.

• 24:27Speaker 00

  This invitation goes out to 11 other women.

• 24:32Speaker 01

  Does that say, "Here's the dealio.com"?

• 24:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, it does.

• 24:39Speaker 00

  So this bachelorette weekend, including the bride, will have 12 women total. Is it the 30 dozen? Is it the 12 apostles? Will there be a Judas? We're about to find out. There's Remy, the bride. Five girls from Remy's undergrad sorority, Omega Theta Pi. And then five girls from the bride's graduate cohort, who are also aspiring librarians. I have made you a beautiful graphic, like I am Tyra Banks, and this is America's Next Top Model.

• 25:19Speaker 01

  Wait, I want, okay. I want that at my funeral.

• 25:25Speaker 01

  But of me.

• 25:27Speaker 00

  Different photos of you?

• 25:29Speaker 01

  And then I just fade out, like on America's Next Top Model. And that music plays.

• 25:37Speaker 01

  That's what I want.

• 25:39Speaker 00

  Okay, I'm writing that down for whoever plans your funeral.

• 25:44Speaker 00

  But first, Sierra, is there anything I've forgotten? Maybe the money? Ooh, you're right.

• 25:50Speaker 01

  On that invite, it said, "It's going to be expensive."

• 25:55Speaker 00

  She's speaking up.

• 25:58Speaker 00

  How much do you think it's fair to make someone pay to come to your bachelorette weekend?

• 26:04Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 26:05Speaker 00

  Someone in the audience said $0.

• 26:08Speaker 01

  I don't, I don't think that's, like, in this economy?

• 26:13Speaker 00

  Inflation?

• 26:15Speaker 01

  So you're telling me? I just didn't know this. So if you are a bridesmaid and you go to the bachelorette party, you have to pay to go to the party?

• 26:25Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 26:26Speaker 01

  But you also have to pay for the dress?

• 26:28Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 26:30Speaker 00

  And your dress for the wedding.

• 26:32Speaker 01

  And the gift?

• 26:33Speaker 00

  Yeah. And your dress for the wedding.

• 26:36Speaker 01

  How much do you usually, if your friend gets married, how much are you usually thinking, like, you're gonna end up? Like a grand?

• 26:47Speaker 00

  Everyone's saying a lot.

• 26:50Speaker 01

  Hey, what if I don't even like him?

• 26:53Speaker 00

  Usually you don't.

• 26:57Speaker 00

  Alright, I wanna, I wanna ask y'all, so raise your wrist if you think $100 is fair to ask someone to come to your bachelorette party.

• 27:05Speaker 01

  That, okay.

• 27:06Speaker 00

  $100? Okay, yeah, I'm seeing a good, I'd say like half. Okay, how about $300?

• 27:15Speaker 00

  Okay, still seeing some-

• 27:16Speaker 01

  But it don't feel like, what are we doing?

• 27:19Speaker 00

  We'll get to that.

• 27:20Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 27:21Speaker 00

  Okay, okay, $1,000.

• 27:28Speaker 00

  Oh, I'm seeing some glow sticks still in the air. Okay. I wanna hear from the people who think $1,000 is enough money, I'm so sorry.

• 27:41Speaker 03

  Uh, I have like a lot of long distance friends, so I feel like flights kind of just cover and get you up to a thousand and then a bit for like a hotel.

• 27:50Speaker 00

  That's real, that's real. Thank you for being brave. To take part in this trip, each of the 11 women, because the bride doesn't pay, obviously, it's just proper etiquette, each of these 11 women must fork over, drumroll please.

• 28:11Speaker 00

  $800. Does not include-

• 28:27Speaker 01

  Burn it down!

• 28:29Speaker 00

  Okay, $800 plus one round trip flight to Nashville during Memorial Day weekend.

• 28:37Speaker 01

  Oh, so it's gonna be even more expensive?

• 28:39Speaker 00

  Does this seem like a normal amount to you?

• 28:42Speaker 01

  No, it sounds like a to- a scheme that Todd set up.

• 28:46Speaker 00

  Does it change anyone's answer to know that $800 does not include any booze?

• 28:59Speaker 00

  Okay, okay, okay, okay, but, but, but, hold on. The $800 does include the Airbnb, which is a duplex condo in downtown Nashville, all the activities for the weekend, which includes but is not limited to a drag brunch.

• 29:15Speaker 01

  See? Those are the people that end up in the gay club.

• 29:21Speaker 00

  A pedal pub ride. And a party bus.

• 29:27Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 29:28Speaker 00

  The bride has even booked a private chef for one of the evenings.

• 29:38Speaker 01

  But can he cook, though?

• 29:41Speaker 00

  That's not important. And the bride has promised that the only things anyone should have to pay for on the trip are a couple of meals out, any Ubers, and the booze, and the airfare. Do you believe her? Okay. Raise a glow stick if you believe her.

• 30:09Speaker 01

  Damn, it's dark in here.

• 30:13Speaker 00

  Y'all don't believe women in Seattle, huh?

• 30:20Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 30:21Speaker 00

  Well, you're right not to believe this specific woman. Because one thing that I would like to draw your attention to that is also not included in that upfront cost is something a little unorthodox. Something this group is calling the bribery fund. What the fuck is right? Our bride is a smart girl. She knows Nashville is a bachelorette battleground on a good day, so instead of just picking a non-holiday weekend, or, God forbid, a weekday, the bride comes up with the bribery fund, and it is exactly what it sounds like. Every lady, minus the bride, obviously, contributes about $100 in cash.

• 31:05Speaker 00

  I can trust y'all to do the math. And this cash will be used to grease any palms that need to be greased. Because the bride will not be caught dead waiting outside any clubs. She will not be double fisting drinks to avoid the bar line. And she will not be waiting in a bathroom line. This is the bride's weekend.

• 31:28Speaker 01

  So.

• 31:31Speaker 01

  Wait, just so I understand.

• 31:35Speaker 01

  They're supposed to pool their money so that if they go to the club, they can slip the bouncer. That's what that's for.

• 31:43Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 31:44Speaker 01

  Who's this bitch, Olivia Pope? What the hell is going on?

• 31:49Speaker 00

  Do you think the bribery fund will work?

• 31:52Speaker 01

  Do I think it will work?

• 31:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 31:54Speaker 01

  Yeah. People like money. And things are, you know, like you're, it's easier to get a table. It's easier to, you know.

• 32:03Speaker 00

  Everyone speaks the language of money.

• 32:04Speaker 01

  I'm not paying for it, though.

• 32:07Speaker 00

  That's someone else's bride.

• 32:08Speaker 01

  Right.

• 32:09Speaker 00

  Well, it's time to head off to Nashville. You ready?

• 32:12Speaker 01

  God damn. Yeah.

• 32:13Speaker 00

  Y'all ready?

• 32:21Speaker 00

  Day one, Saturday.

• 32:25Speaker 00

  This is our incredible little schedule. Everyone is arriving at various times on Saturday. Sunday is the all-day party. Monday, everyone flies back. So day one and day three are travel days. So everyone's gonna get in, gonna get a little drink, gonna get a little gossip, gonna have a little dinner with a hot chef. What can he cook? We don't know. But then we're gonna go bar hopping. So as maid of honor, Remy is flying in on the earlier side. She's flying into Nashville on the same flight as two other girls who live in her city, who are also going to this bachelorette party. Both of these girls are from the bride's grad cohort, so they are fellow librarians in training. One is named Jessie.

• 33:08Speaker 00

  And the other is named Peyton.

• 33:13Speaker 00

  I'm gonna ask y'all to be really judgmental.

• 33:17Speaker 00

  All you know about these women before you board a flight with them is their names. Whose name do you trust more? Raise a glow stick if you're on Jessie's side.

• 33:27Speaker 00

  This is always shocking to me. Okay, lower your glow sticks. Raise your hands if you're on Peyton's side.

• 33:37Speaker 00

  Fascinating.

• 33:39Speaker 04

  I have a question.

• 33:40Speaker 00

  Do you have a question, Sierra?

• 33:41Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 33:44Speaker 04

  How are these names spelled?

• 33:53Speaker 00

  That's a great question, Sierra. It is Peyton with an E, as in P-E-Y-T-O-N.

• 34:00Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 34:01Speaker 00

  And it's Jessie with a Y.

• 34:07Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 34:11Speaker 00

  Does anyone want to change their answer?

• 34:16Speaker 00

  Well, Jessie with a Y had suggested picking seats in the same row, which meant paying extra to select their seats. And Remy hates paying extra to pick seats. But as maid of honor, Remy's entire vibe this weekend is not just team player. It is coach. It is counselor. It is confidant.

• 34:39Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 34:39Speaker 00

  So Remy's like, sure, whatever, sounds great. Jessie picks a window seat in aisle 17. And Remy pays an extra $100 to get an aisle seat in the same row.

• 34:57Speaker 00

  Remy's rationale for this is that Jessie and Peyton know each other from school, so they probably want to sit next to each other, right?

• 35:04Speaker 01

  No.

• 35:06Speaker 00

  So this doesn't seem like good logic to you?

• 35:08Speaker 01

  No. We were about to be in Nashville for, like, let me get my aisle seat because I'm claustrophobic on the plane to begin with. And let me sit where I'm gonna sit. I'm not paying no extra money so I can sit next to you.

• 35:24Speaker 01

  Insert whoever into you.

• 35:28Speaker 00

  No, me specifically.

• 35:31Speaker 00

  Remy gets to the airport where she meets Jessie and Peyton for the first time in person. And unfortunately for Remy, both Jessie and Peyton are nondescript brunettes, wearing slicked-back buns and tiny tasteful gold hoops and alu leggings.

• 35:48Speaker 00

  It's not until they're boarding the airplane that one of the nondescript brunettes walks right past aisle seventeen, and the other one is like, "Wait, I thought we were sitting together." Remy assumes this is Jessie, which means that it's Peyton who's like, "Yeah, I'm not sitting, I'm not paying extra to sit in the middle seat. I'll see you guys when we land."

• 36:07Speaker 01

  Thank you. Stand up!

• 36:12Speaker 00

  Okay, as objective observers, we're all on Peyton's side, but if you were Remy, how would you feel?

• 36:18Speaker 01

  You couldn't have texted me, girl?

• 36:22Speaker 00

  You couldn't let me know beforehand?

• 36:23Speaker 01

  Just let me know.

• 36:24Speaker 00

  Just let me know. Yeah, Remy is immediately annoyed by Peyton, who, from this point on, we will be referring to as Fucking Peyton.

• 36:35Speaker 00

  You can maybe guess why. You'll definitely know by the end of the story.

• 36:41Speaker 00

  Remy can tell Jessie is also annoyed by Fucking Peyton.

• 36:47Speaker 00

  Like, Jessie even offers her window seat to a stranger so that she and Remy can sit next to each other.

• 36:54Speaker 00

  They've just taken off when Jessie says, "I'm sorry about Peyton," and then she sort of glances around before continuing.

• 37:05Speaker 00

  And Jessie is like, "Honestly, I'm not surprised, though. One of the other girls told me she paid for her plane ticket with Afterpay."

• 37:13Speaker 01

  Oh, wait, can you do that?

• 37:16Speaker 00

  Yeah. You can buy anything on Afterpay.

• 37:19Speaker 01

  Girl.

• 37:21Speaker 00

  Are you familiar with Afterpay?

• 37:22Speaker 01

  All of them. I've never used them, but I just think it's interesting that she can like, you know, anything online, you're just like, "Let me put it in an installment plan." It's so weird. So she's gossiping about the fact that she had to put it on Layaway?

• 37:38Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm. She had to buy her plane ticket on Layaway, yeah. Yeah, for those who are unfamiliar, Afterpay is Layaway. It's a buy now, pay later service, except now, instead of your Christmas presents, you can use it for Sephora.

• 37:53Speaker 00

  Remy is a messy bitch, as I assume most of us are here.

• 38:00Speaker 00

  So she says something like, "It's so easy to get caught up in that buy now, pay later stuff."

• 38:08Speaker 00

  Which is all it takes for Jesse to start dishing, not just about Peyton's financial situation, but about all the other librarians, including the bride.

• 38:25Speaker 00

  Jesse tells Remy about all the times in grad school when they would be trying to plan like a cheap weekend getaway and the bride would suggest like Aspen or Tulum. By the time they land, Remy has mentally started referring to her seatmate as messy Jesse.

• 38:48Speaker 00

  And she's also made a mental note to not reveal any sensitive information this weekend.

• 38:53Speaker 01

  Right.

• 38:54Speaker 00

  Yeah. And Remy is also already facing her first crisis as maid of honor. You remember the private chef that the bride booked? Well, as soon as Remy lands and turns off airplane mode on her phone, she gets a series of increasingly panicked texts from the bride. "The private chef has canceled. Apparently JoJo Siwa came into town and offered a lot of money." But that's not what raises Remy's cortisol levels. In that very last text, the bride's like, "I've been telling all the girls what a great chef you are.

• 39:29Speaker 00

  Maybe you could cook for us."

• 39:30Speaker 01

  To Remy?

• 39:32Speaker 00

  No pressure at all.

• 39:36Speaker 00

  You think this is a fair request to make of a maid of honor?

• 39:39Speaker 01

  No. I gotta pay and cook?

• 39:43Speaker 00

  For 12 people?

• 39:44Speaker 01

  No.

• 39:45Speaker 00

  Short notice?

• 39:46Speaker 01

  No, y'all better, we better hit up Waffle House.

• 39:51Speaker 01

  Absolutely not.

• 39:52Speaker 00

  Can you imagine this bride fighting in Waffle House?

• 39:55Speaker 01

  Call JoJo Siwa. Karma's a bitch.

• 40:01Speaker 01

  You should've known better.

• 40:06Speaker 00

  Remy's eye starts twitching.

• 40:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:09Speaker 00

  And she hasn't even seen the Airbnb yet. Remember how I said the bride had booked the Airbnb? She had really wanted it to be a surprise. So this is the first time all the ladies are seeing where they're staying for the weekend.

• 40:23Speaker 01

  Wait, didn't, so there was no group chat?

• 40:27Speaker 00

  There was an email saying everything's booked.

• 40:30Speaker 01

  So they're walking in sight unseen.

• 40:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, so the bride did say it was a duplex condo that she rented both sides of for the weekend, which is true.

• 40:38Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 40:39Speaker 00

  Half the ladies will be staying on one side and half on the other. On the right side of the duplex are Remy, the bride, and all of the bride's omega theta pi sisters. On the left side of the duplex are Messy Jessie, fucking Peyton, and the rest of the librarian ladies. What the bride has failed to mention is that while each side has two bathrooms, only one of those bathrooms has a shower.

• 41:13Speaker 00

  Do you see a problem with this layout?

• 41:15Speaker 01

  A couple.

• 41:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, what, tell me, what problems do you see?

• 41:19Speaker 01

  Literally every Real Housewives Bravo trip that's ever existed on Bravo. Like, first of all, I, I'm kind of uncomfortable with the way that it's segregated.

• 41:38Speaker 00

  You don't like them being split up?

• 41:40Speaker 01

  I just think it fosters the wrong culture.

• 41:45Speaker 00

  That's real. You should be supporting integration.

• 41:49Speaker 01

  But like, you know, when you go to weddings and they like have the like forethought to like mix the tables with people that they want to meet?

• 41:59Speaker 00

  That's a good wedding.

• 42:00Speaker 01

  It's just like, why are you going on this trip to not talk to people? I don't know.

• 42:05Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's real. Remy also sees some problems with this layout. She's like, it's not really a question of if the one shower per six women is gonna become a problem, it's more a question of when. But that's a problem for future Remy, cuz current Remy's gotta get dinner started.

• 42:24Speaker 01

  Current Remy ain't gotta do shit.

• 42:29Speaker 00

  Remy gets her bag situated in the room she's sharing with the bride. Someone had thankfully gotten the bride a glass of wine, so she's mellowed out. So they hug. Remy takes one of the rental cars from the nearest Whole Foods. And it's as she's walking out the door that the bride is like, "Wait, Remy, I thought of one more thing."

• 42:49Speaker 00

  The bride's like, "You know how the party bus tomorrow is BYOB?"

• 42:54Speaker 01

  The party bus?

• 42:55Speaker 00

  Is BYOB.

• 42:56Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 42:56Speaker 00

  Remy is like, "No."

• 42:59Speaker 01

  Right.

• 43:00Speaker 00

  And the bride's like, "It would be so great if you could pick up some alcohol, too." And she's like, "Save your seat, we can settle up later."

• 43:15Speaker 01

  So...

• 43:19Speaker 01

  You know how you got, I'm like, I'm Remy. You know how you got that bribe fund?

• 43:23Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 43:26Speaker 00

  No, you're right. Remy should have been like, "Let's use that."

• 43:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's now an emergency fund.

• 43:31Speaker 00

  Yeah. The thing is, I haven't even mentioned the dietary restrictions.

• 43:39Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 43:44Speaker 00

  When Remy had asked the group chat about any food allergies on her way to Whole Foods, she expected like, a nut allergy, maybe a dairy intolerance. And there, there are definitely those. But there are also three people who are gluten-free.

• 43:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, expected.

• 43:59Speaker 00

  One who is currently only eating raw food.

• 44:04Speaker 00

  One who isn't eating garlic or onions. And another one who just sends Remy a TikTok about hormone-balancing foods? With a text like, "I'm easy, though."

• 44:16Speaker 01

  What's hormone-balancing food?

• 44:25Speaker 00

  With all of these restrictions, Remy somehow manages to come up with a Mediterranean-inspired menu for the night because she knows the bride has just returned from her pre-honeymoon honeymoon to Ibiza.

• 44:40Speaker 01

  That she has the money to go on?

• 44:43Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm. Well, she's not paying for her bachelor's trip.

• 44:45Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 44:48Speaker 00

  With the help of some of the other bridesmaids, Remy manages to get this Mediterranean dinner on the table by 6:30 PM. Let's clap for Remy.

• 44:59Speaker 01

  I don't know if I want to clap for Remy. I feel like an enabler.

• 45:04Speaker 01

  But, girl, stand up!

• 45:06Speaker 00

  Yeah. One of the Omega Theta Pi sisters does manage to slice her hand open on a vegetable peeler.

• 45:12Speaker 01

  Of course.

• 45:13Speaker 00

  But luckily, another sister did go to nursing school. So, they stop the bleeding pretty quickly, and Remy is like, "You know what? One injury in the first six hours, and we didn't have to go to the hospital? A win is a win."

• 45:27Speaker 01

  A win is a win.

• 45:29Speaker 00

  Josh, are you someone who cares about your friends being friends?

• 45:33Speaker 01

  I like that. I think that's fun. Then I don't have to, like, think about who's going where. Like, you know what I mean? It's like less mental math, I guess.

• 45:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The bride is kind of like this. So she suggests some icebreakers while they pre-game for their night of bar hopping.

• 45:48Speaker 01

  In order to get them to be friends?

• 45:50Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 45:50Speaker 01

  I don't agree with that.

• 45:54Speaker 00

  Well, the brides already have three glasses of wine, which Remy knows means that the bride is at that stage where she's just looking at her friends with tears in her eyes because friendship is so beautiful.

• 46:06Speaker 00

  So first, the bride makes the Omega Theta Pi sisters teach the librarians and Remy the Omega Theta Pi drinking song.

• 46:18Speaker 00

  Sierra, can you teach them the song?

• 46:22Speaker 04

  Take a shot. Take a shot. No one drinks like Omegas. Take a shot. That feels easy, right? Do y'all have it? All right. Take a...

• 46:40Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 46:43Speaker 01

  I knew they had it when I heard someone say, "It's not melody, it's rhythm." I'm proud of y'all.

• 46:49Speaker 00

  Congratulations, you have been initiated into Omega Theta Pi.

• 46:56Speaker 00

  How'd that make you feel, that little drinking song?

• 47:00Speaker 01

  Somewhere in my reptile brain, I got scared, but...

• 47:04Speaker 00

  That's the exact vibe we wanted. After learning this song, the librarians are low-key like, "So y'all were in a cult? We read about that." But before this can start an argument, the bride decides to start basically going down that list of 36 questions to fall in love,

• 47:23Speaker 00

  with a few extra added in. Like, "How did you lose your virginity? Do you still think about the first person you fell in love with? What's your biggest insecurity?"

• 47:37Speaker 00

  Things of that nature. Traps, basically.

• 47:44Speaker 00

  It's that last question, "What's your biggest insecurity?", that sets things off. Messy Jessie clears her throat,

• 47:53Speaker 00

  before admitting that her biggest insecurity is her feet.

• 48:02Speaker 01

  I would've been like, "My biggest insecurity is my likeliness to beat a bitch's ass that I don't like."

• 48:11Speaker 00

  Well, you see, despite being 5'5", Messy Jessie has size 11 feet.

• 48:17Speaker 01

  That's okay.

• 48:20Speaker 00

  It's her biggest lot in life. It is so hard to shop for shoes. Mean girls in high school called her Sasquatch. Messy Jessie actually starts tearing up as she recounts the trauma of once accidentally leaving a hookup in the guy's sneakers, which looked like hers and fit her perfectly.

• 48:44Speaker 01

  But that means, did he, there's a chance he never found out.

• 48:49Speaker 00

  She's certainly not going back.

• 48:52Speaker 01

  How tall is she?

• 48:54Speaker 00

  5'5".

• 48:58Speaker 00

  How much sympathy is welling up in your chest right now? Do you have sympathy?

• 49:04Speaker 01

  She should have got a soccer scholarship or something.

• 49:09Speaker 00

  Use those feet for something.

• 49:13Speaker 00

  Our girl Remy is less than impressed. She's like, "If your biggest worry in life is having size, love, and feet, I don't have too much sympathy for you." Wisely, Remy decides not to say this. But one of the brides Omega Theta Pi sisters does speak up. Her name is Jules.

• 49:34Speaker 00

  And Jules is objectively Remy's favorite of the bride's other friends. She can shotgun a beer in under a minute. She's in school to be a cardiac ICU nurse.

• 49:45Speaker 00

  And she's a stripper.

• 49:51Speaker 01

  What up, neighbor?

• 49:54Speaker 01

  We call that, we contain multitudes.

• 49:59Speaker 00

  Jules is a sorority sister that Remy put in charge of the bride fund because if the money doesn't work, then Jules almost certainly will.

• 50:08Speaker 01

  I know, that's right.

• 50:10Speaker 00

  Jules is like, "I have had size, love, and feet since I was 12." And then she's like, "I love it." Jules is like, "I feel like a big, beautiful horse."

• 50:21Speaker 01

  Not Jules the stallion. What is going on?

• 50:25Speaker 00

  Like a stallion even.

• 50:35Speaker 01

  That was good.

• 50:39Speaker 00

  Remy is straight, but at this moment, she's no better than a man.

• 50:44Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 50:44Speaker 00

  Like, it's giving a wuga.

• 50:48Speaker 01

  Wait, you say it again.

• 50:51Speaker 00

  A wuga.

• 50:55Speaker 01

  I love the way the accent is.

• 50:58Speaker 00

  Remy's like, you know what? Hell, yeah. But Messi Jesse goes quiet. And this is when the bride decides to say, okay, pregame's over. The bride keeps everyone up bar hopping until 2 a.m. And Remy is honestly kind of impressed by how smoothly that first night goes. Like, by the time they get back, Remy is like, should I have bride fun for my personal life? Because despite hitting up five bars in four hours, our ladies don't have to wait for anything. Everyone's in a great mood, everyone's laughing. And as she's drifting off to sleep that night, Remy is like, maybe there won't be disasters this trip. Maybe it'll even be fun.

• 51:39Speaker 00

  Are you also feeling optimistic?

• 51:41Speaker 01

  No.

• 51:43Speaker 01

  Not at all.

• 51:46Speaker 00

  Sorry, hate to interrupt, but we will be back with more details of this deranged bachelorette weekend right after the break.

• 51:56Speaker 02

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• 52:35Speaker 00

  Day two, Sunday. How do you feel about matching outfits?

• 52:41Speaker 01

  Are you providing them?

• 52:43Speaker 00

  There's a link to buy them.

• 52:45Speaker 01

  Girl.

• 52:47Speaker 01

  Do I like it? Like, is it cute? I prefer... I prefer you to tell me a color.

• 52:55Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 52:56Speaker 01

  And me bring what I'm going to think, tell you that green is giving. And then all of us can look like a Solange picture. You know what I mean?

• 53:07Speaker 00

  I like that vibe.

• 53:08Speaker 01

  In our own individual way.

• 53:09Speaker 00

  Yeah. Well, if there's anything I know about a reformed sorority girls, that they love a matching outfit. Remy is like, honestly, librarians aren't wrong. It is low-key giving cult. But it's the bride's weekend, so Remy puts on her denim shorts and her pastel pink t-shirt that says "The Bride's Last Ride," and her Adidas Sambas, because yes, the bride did specifically request they all purchase Adidas Sambas if they didn't already own them.

• 53:44Speaker 00

  Everyone looks like middle schoolers, except for Jules. Remember, Remy is straight.

• 53:51Speaker 00

  Mostly.

• 53:53Speaker 00

  But she can't help noticing that even in the dumb matching outfit, Jules somehow manages to look like a 90s-era video vixen.

• 54:00Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 54:01Speaker 00

  Jules also has a special job that morning. She has been tasked with handing out $10 in singles to everyone to tip the queens at the drag brunch, so that morning she is running around with not just one, but two envelopes of cash.

• 54:14Speaker 01

  I actually appreciate that.

• 54:15Speaker 00

  The singles and the bribery fund. Luckily, the bribery fund is not necessary for drag brunch, because the bride booked the reservation a whole 10 months ago. So as soon as they show up, they're shown to the best table in the house, which is right in front of the stage. They sit down, and the bride immediately demands that everyone take a shot, which of course means they gotta sing the song. Sisters, are you ready?

• 54:39Speaker 00

  Take a

• 54:49Speaker 00

  If you were at a drag brunch and you heard that, how would you react?

• 54:54Speaker 01

  They found us!

• 54:58Speaker 01

  Yikes. So wait, they are, so they're, they're like, among the people?

• 55:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 55:05Speaker 01

  That's homophobic.

• 55:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, I have a feeling that drag performers are wishing for the sweet release of death at this point.

• 55:15Speaker 00

  Not least because our girls are only about a pitcher and a half of mimosas in, and this brunch is bottomless.

• 55:23Speaker 00

  Right as the first drag queen takes to the stage, Messy Jessie gets up from the table.

• 55:29Speaker 00

  Josh, if you had to describe how someone's face looks right before they vomit,

• 55:34Speaker 00

  how would you?

• 55:38Speaker 01

  Actually, kind of funny.

• 55:42Speaker 01

  You know, they get that look. Where it's like, "I don't know what's happening." "Girl, we all know what's happening. Go to the bathroom."

• 55:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, you just described Messy Jessie's face. Apparently, Messy Jessie had been in an Uber with some of the bride's Omega Theta Pi sisters, who all wanted to make sure that she felt welcome in their car. They had all heard about her foot trauma the night before, and they were like, "This girl clearly needs sisterhood." So they shared they flash with her. What they had not accounted for was the fact that Messy Jessie has spent most of her evenings over the past few years learning about the Dewey Decimal System, not how to hold her shots. So, before the first drag queen even takes to the stage, Messy Jessie wobbles away from the table and throws up right into a potted plant right by the stage.

• 56:32Speaker 01

  Nobody had even gotten up yet? Okay.

• 56:35Speaker 00

  Drag brunch has not even started, and we're already down one librarian and a monstera plant. What do you do?

• 56:44Speaker 01

  What do I do?

• 56:45Speaker 00

  What do you do?

• 56:52Speaker 00

  Someone has said, "Take a shot."

• 56:53Speaker 01

  I do?

• 56:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:56Speaker 01

  Two of them need to take one of them back home, put them in bed, and come back.

• 57:01Speaker 00

  Yeah. Jules, a baddie with a heart of gold, immediately gets up to help hustle Jessie to the bathroom. Meanwhile, literally none of Jessie's grad school friends even get up from their seats. Like, Remy's honestly pretty sure she even saw fucking Peyton rolling her eyes. The manager of the restaurant tells Remy that for health reasons Jessie cannot stay for the show, which means Jules and Jessie miss the drag show. But a little vomit never stopped the party. Immediately after drag brunch, our girls have to run across town to catch their pedal pub. Exercising and drinking at the same time does not sound like my jam. This is also the moment in our story when the divide between the groups really starts to come out. Remy

• 57:43Speaker 00

  ends up in the very backseat of an Uber XL with a bunch of the librarians. This car includes fucking Peyton. When they get in a car, fucking Peyton says, "Oh, good. All the cool people are in this car." But then she turns and sees Remy way in the back. And before Remy can even say anything, fucking Peyton rolls her eyes and says...

• 58:10Speaker 01

  Never mind.

• 58:10Speaker 00

  Oh, never mind. How would you react to this?

• 58:23Speaker 01

  If I were Remy?

• 58:24Speaker 00

  If you were Remy?

• 58:27Speaker 01

  I don't know. It's hard for me to put myself inside of Remy, because that bitch cooked everybody dinner. I know she probably just stood there and acted like she couldn't hear.

• 58:38Speaker 00

  Remy does decide that the E in Peyton stands for enemy.

• 58:42Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 58:43Speaker 00

  But Remy is also like, "This weekend isn't the last time I'm gonna see any of these women." And she's like, "I just want to make sure the bride is having the best weekend possible, so I'm just gonna kind of like grit my teeth and bear it." So they hang out on Broadway, they head back to the air maybe to start getting ready for evening activities, and this is the moment Remy remembers the shower situation, which if you will recall is one shower per six women in this house. The shower-hunger games...

• 59:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:13Speaker 00

  ...have begun.

• 59:16Speaker 00

  At this point, Remy is thinking about her own beautiful home, the way soldiers at war think of their wives.

• 59:24Speaker 00

  But Remy's not just any soldier in this war. She's a general. She's got to rally the troops. It's the bride's last ride, goddammit.

• 59:34Speaker 00

  And so, Remy rallies beautifully. She listens to Rachel Platten's "Fight Song" in the humid bathroom.

• 59:40Speaker 01

  This is my fight song.

• 59:43Speaker 00

  Yeah. She gets dressed. The night theme is disco. Remy, along with the bride and her sorority sisters, go all out. Everyone is wearing bright, sparkly outfits and shiny mero.

• 59:55Speaker 01

  When you say "all out," you mean bought something new?

• 59:58Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 59:58Speaker 01

  Okay, I'm not doing that, though.

• 59:59Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. Jules even has on these incredible silver pleasers that make her look 10 feet tall. And for those who are unfamiliar, these are pleasers.

• 1:00:37Speaker 01

  I didn't see that one coming. That was dope.

• 1:00:39Speaker 00

  It's my favorite part of the show.

• 1:00:43Speaker 00

  Jules walks in her pleasers like they're Adidas Sambas, which Remy, a well-known bisexual,

• 1:00:52Speaker 00

  can't help but notice.

• 1:00:56Speaker 00

  Remy also can't help but notice that half the librarians do the absolute minimum. Like, Buckingham Peyton is wearing a silver belt on a black dress. And honestly, the belt is kind of ugly.

• 1:01:09Speaker 00

  But Buckingham Peyton's ugly belt is overshadowed by the return of Messy Jessie. She's rallying!

• 1:01:18Speaker 00

  And she is wearing the sparkliest pair of pants Remy has ever seen in her entire life. She's also really bonded with Jules in the interim. Like, before they get onto the party bus, Remy sees Messy Jessie teetering around in Jules' size 11 pleasers. She looks like a freshly born giraffe. But she's also clearly having the time of her life. Sisterhood.

• 1:01:44Speaker 00

  What are your opinions on party buses?

• 1:01:48Speaker 01

  In the right context, it can be fun.

• 1:01:51Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:01:52Speaker 01

  And they've provided for some of the best reality television.

• 1:01:56Speaker 00

  Our ladies have the party bus for two whole hours. Every half hour, everyone is required to take a shot.

• 1:02:03Speaker 01

  I don't think we're at that point right now, bro. I think we need to calm down.

• 1:02:08Speaker 00

  What that means is that by 9:00 PM, the party bus driver has already heard the drinking song twice, and there is a whole hour left. But before vehicular manslaughter can be committed, the bus stops in a random part of Nashville.

• 1:02:26Speaker 01

  Is the FBI coming?

• 1:02:29Speaker 00

  The lights on the bus turn down low.

• 1:02:33Speaker 00

  The bride is looking around like, "What the fuck?", as are half the ladies. One of the Omegas squeals. Jules grins, and this is the moment when everyone finds out the party bus has a fog machine.

• 1:02:50Speaker 00

  The door to the bus opens. So yeah, can I get some music?

• 1:03:02Speaker 00

  Onto the bus walks the hottest man Remy has ever seen.

• 1:03:10Speaker 00

  His chaps are certainly the most assless she has ever seen.

• 1:03:16Speaker 00

  "I heard someone's taking their last ride tonight," he says.

• 1:03:22Speaker 00

  His name is Benson Bone.

• 1:03:24Speaker 01

  Oh, gosh.

• 1:03:27Speaker 00

  And he's ready to get this rodeo started.

• 1:03:32Speaker 00

  Some of you might have guessed this is Jules doing. She is the only one on this trip qualified to hire a stripper. Benson Bone takes after his namesake. He's flipping.

• 1:03:46Speaker 00

  Our ladies are tipping.

• 1:03:49Speaker 00

  Our man is a professional, though. No brides are harmed in the course of his show. He does his routine and then Jules is like, "Now try that in my shoes."

• 1:04:00Speaker 01

  The pleasers?

• 1:04:00Speaker 00

  The pleasers.

• 1:04:02Speaker 01

  Oh, 'cause she wears a big size shoe.

• 1:04:05Speaker 00

  Benson Bowen is not one to turn down a challenge. So our ladies get two shows for the price of one.

• 1:04:14Speaker 00

  When it's time to say goodbye, Benson returns with silver pleasers. But he leaves with some new tricks. And Jules' number.

• 1:04:24Speaker 00

  Remy isn't jealous at all.

• 1:04:28Speaker 00

  Josh, how seriously do you take karaoke?

• 1:04:34Speaker 01

  Karaoke is for the layman. Karaoke is for the everyday person. I can't stand when a singing ass bitch goes to karaoke. And you just got off a stage. If you know, like, if you know, like, the harmony and, like, this is not for you.

• 1:04:51Speaker 00

  No.

• 1:04:52Speaker 01

  This is for me.

• 1:04:53Speaker 00

  Yeah. This is for the tone deaf bitches in the room. Me.

• 1:04:59Speaker 00

  Correct.

• 1:05:01Speaker 00

  The bride takes karaoke really fucking seriously. She can't sing, but she does take it really fucking seriously.

• 1:05:06Speaker 01

  That's fair.

• 1:05:07Speaker 00

  She has scouted out the most famous karaoke bar in Nashville. She has made everyone learn choreo to single ladies. And by choreo, I mean, like, a shoulder shimmy. Except, there's just one little problem. At this bar, the MC sings a song between everyone else's. So if the line is 10 people deep, it's actually more like 20. And the karaoke bar is packed because it is Sunday on Memorial Day weekend and no one has work tomorrow. Jules is deployed from the bus. But when she comes back, she does not look victorious. She tells him that the MC is a dictator.

• 1:05:44Speaker 00

  He will not be bribed. He will not be skipping any of his songs. And he will be singing Celine Dion's "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" at least twice, even though it is eight minutes long.

• 1:05:57Speaker 00

  He tells Jules that there are thirty people ahead of the bride's party.

• 1:06:03Speaker 00

  Around one in the morning, Fucking Peyton finally gets fed up. Fucking Peyton is like, "I'm sorry, but I have an early flight tomorrow." And the librarians start like murmuring in agreement. And then the end, all of the librarians except Messy Jesse decides to leave and go back to the Airbnb. Remy is honestly pretty relieved because the girls who are leaving are objectively the ones who suck the most. And Jules gives Fucking Peyton the remaining bribery fund to take home since they no longer need it. And Remy could tell Jules was getting a little stressed about having hundreds of dollars on her purse at one in the morning. Because Remy actually finds it really easy to pick up on Jules' emotion because they're so similar, you know? They're gonna be really good friends after this. Remy just knows it.

• 1:06:50Speaker 00

  But when Fucking Peyton leaves, the bride turns to Remy and she has the drunk watery eyes of a girl in a club bathroom. And she's like, "Should we call it?"

• 1:07:05Speaker 00

  Finally, half an hour before the bar closes, our girls are called up to sing. It's 2:30 in the morning.

• 1:07:14Speaker 00

  But our ladies bring the house down.

• 1:07:20Speaker 00

  Their performance as single ladies is so good that the bartender even gives them free tequila shots for the road.

• 1:07:30Speaker 00

  And this is when Jesse pukes again.

• 1:07:35Speaker 00

  Poor Messy Jesse.

• 1:07:38Speaker 00

  But now it's day three Monday. Half the girls have already left Nashville on early flights by the time Remy wakes up, which is great because someone threw up in the shower on the librarian's side.

• 1:07:52Speaker 00

  Who could it be? We could never guess. So now they're down to one shower total. And for the whole morning, the librarians are coming in and out of both sides of the duplex. Jules and Remy are cleaning up their half of the Airbnb while the bride takes a shower. The Airbnb owner has asked the girls to run the dishwasher, sweep the kitchen, strip the used beds of all the sheets, start a load of laundry, take out the trash and recycling, and leave a tip for the housekeeper. But honestly, Remy is just thrilled to get some time alone with Jules, who looks incredible in the morning, by the way. They're chatting about the weekend when Jules sort of looks around to make sure they're alone.

• 1:08:33Speaker 00

  And then she's like, "Remy, you seem really cool. Can I ask you for some advice?"

• 1:08:38Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:08:40Speaker 00

  Remy is like, "What advice could Jules possibly need?" She's perfect. Remy's like, "Yeah, of course. You can ask me anything." Jules takes a deep breath.

• 1:08:51Speaker 00

  And then she's like, "I think someone stole the bride money."

• 1:08:57Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 1:09:00Speaker 00

  Jules is like, "I'm not sure whether to tell the bride or not." And Jules is also like, "I'm also not entirely sure when the money went missing." Like, she is pretty sure she had seen it on top of her makeup bag when they got back to the Airbnb after karaoke.

• 1:09:15Speaker 01

  You said somebody stole it. You're saying right now, what you're describing is you losing it. That's different.

• 1:09:22Speaker 00

  Remy is like, "How much was left in the envelope?" And this is when Jules admits that besides that first night out bar hopping, she actually hadn't spent a whole lot of the bribery fund because the bride had done such a good job of booking everything. So the envelope had about $900 in it.

• 1:09:38Speaker 01

  That's why I don't carry cash.

• 1:09:40Speaker 00

  Remy immediately goes investigation mode. She would do anything for Jules.

• 1:09:43Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:09:44Speaker 00

  Remy's like, "Did any of the Omega Theta Pi sisters see it?" And Jules is like, "I already asked my sisters." She's like, "I'm pretty sure they went and steal from me." Or at least, like, they tell me if they did. One of them has a skirt from like, three years ago that I'm still trying to get back, but whatever. And this is when Jules is like, "I don't want to be messy, but the librarians were using our bathroom this morning because their shower was clogged. And the last time I saw was on my makeup bag when I got back from karaoke." We're almost at the end of our story. Who do you think stole the money?

• 1:10:19Speaker 00

  Hearing a lot of fucking Peyton.

• 1:10:23Speaker 00

  Is that your answer?

• 1:10:26Speaker 01

  My brain, like the pattern matching, like, I'm thinking it's Peyton. I feel bad for thinking it's Peyton because the evidence is from someone, like a source that I don't like.

• 1:10:38Speaker 00

  Remy is like, "Do not tell the bride yet." She's like, "Remember..."

• 1:10:42Speaker 01

  She seems like she'd be annoying if she knew, no.

• 1:10:45Speaker 00

  And also, they still have a whole wedding to get through with this group of women. And so, this is what Jules does, which means Remy doesn't hear anything about the money for months. Like, the bridal shower comes and goes, nothing. Wedding comes and goes, nothing. The wedding actually goes surprisingly smoothly. Like, Remy learns that one of the librarians started a book club with some of the Omega Theta Pi ladies, where they all read Monster Smut.

• 1:11:15Speaker 00

  But it's not until almost a whole year later that Remy finally learns more about the theft. Y'all can buy these books, by the way. They are real.

• 1:11:27Speaker 01

  She said, "We know."

• 1:11:28Speaker 00

  Not "we know."

• 1:11:32Speaker 00

  Well, Josh, do you want to know what happened?

• 1:11:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:36Speaker 00

  Do y'all want to know what happened?

• 1:11:42Speaker 00

  Remy visits the bride for a long weekend. It's actually Memorial Day weekend, so it's literally been exactly a year since the Nashville trip. Yeah, yeah. They're catching up. They're chatting about the last year, the wedding, the honeymoon, the pre-honeymoon honeymoon, when finally the conversation turns to the bachelorette trip. At this point, Remy does not even know whether or not the bride knows about the missing money. And so, she's like, I think the easiest way to bring this up is to be like, "Man, Jules was a lifesaver on that trip. It was such a good idea to put her in charge of the bribe refund. Jules is so good at everything."

• 1:12:18Speaker 01

  Smooth.

• 1:12:19Speaker 00

  And this is when the bride is like, "Yeah, except for keeping a secret."

• 1:12:25Speaker 00

  Jules apparently had not been able to live with the idea of the bride having a thief in her wedding party, and so she had told the bride about the missing money a few weeks before the wedding. The bride says that she asked everyone on the trip about the money, just to be fair, and the Omega Theta Pi sisters told the bride the exact same thing they told Jules. Meanwhile, the librarians are all like, "Yeah, we saw Jules give the money to Peyton when she left karaoke." Oh! Remy's like, "Fucking Peyton." The bride's like, "Yeah, I thought it was her too, until Jules told me about the pleasers."

• 1:12:59Speaker 01

  What about the pleasers?

• 1:13:02Speaker 00

  Remy's like, "The pleasers? Jules' pleasers?" The bride's like, "Yeah. Apparently, when Jules got home from the trip and unpacked her stuff, it wasn't just the bribery fund that was missing. She was also missing her favorite pair of silver pleasers. Her size 11 silver pleasers." Remy told us, "While it has never officially been confirmed who took the money in the shoes, I clearly had my assumptions because there's only one other bitch on that trip with size 11 feet. Messy, Jesse."

• 1:13:43Speaker 00

  Thank you for listening to Normal Gossip. If you have a gossip story to share with us, email us at [email protected], or you can leave us a voicemail at 2679Gossip. If you love this podcast and want to support us, become a friend, or a friend of a friend at supportnormalgossip.com. You can follow the show on Instagram and TikTok at Normal Gossip. You can follow me on all social media at HeyDnA, H-E-Y-Y-D-N-A-E. This podcast was produced by Sierra Spragley-Ritz and Jay Tolbierra. Our audio engineer is Samantha Gatzic. The co-creators and dowager queens of Normal Gossip are Kelsey McKinney and Defector's supervising producer Alex Ujhan-Lawlin. Justin Ellis is Defector's projects editor.

• 1:14:27Speaker 00

  Jasper Wang and Sean Coon are Defector's business guys. Tom Lay is our editor-in-chief. Dan McLeod runs our merch store. ...which you can find at normalgossip.store. Tara Jacoby designed our show art. Thank you to Brandy Jensen, David Raw, Catherine Shu, Serena Imbler, Chris Thompson, Dave McKenna, Patrick Redford, and Ray Rado for your help on this season. Thank you to the rest of the Defector staff. Defector Media is a collectively owned subscriber-based media company. Normal Gossip is a proud member of Radiotopia. I am your host, Rachel Hampton, and remember, you didn't hear this from me.

• 1:15:01Speaker 05

  Radiotopia. From PRX.