We need a break from each other...

It's a ropey start to the final main episode... Joanne's tech is not tech-ing and Vogue is still insistent that we all (you included) need a break. It all comes together though and there's talk of the ultimate daily routine, some musical theatre and the Euromillions... If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] Please review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/ For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com Joanne's comedy gigs: www.joannemcnally.com This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:32Speaker 02

  This is a Global Player original podcast.

• 1:45Speaker 03

  Hello, welcome to My Therapist Coasted Me. It's us again. Sorry. Me, Joanne McNally, and my co-host and conspirator, Fujin.

• 2:02Speaker 03

  This is a terrible start.

• 2:05Speaker 04

  We've had tech problems.

• 2:06Speaker 03

  Fucking hell. Can I just say, for, in my defence, you've just watched what I ha- That makes no sense. Sometimes the internet just doesn't work and it just won't connect. I just had to double my Prozac drop for the day because I'm so worked up now. I'm now on 120mg of Prozac and I'm still upset.

• 2:29Speaker 04

  That's why- Did you not notice I just was looking down the whole time? I couldn't look you in the eye.

• 2:35Speaker 03

  I had to mute you both.

• 2:36Speaker 04

  I was like, leave her to it.

• 2:37Speaker 03

  I had to mute you both because you're making small talk and I was, I was gonna punch myself in the face. I've never, what's wrong with me? I, like-

• 2:46Speaker 04

  That's aggravating. That's why I couldn't look. Like, when my headphones, when someone rings me and they go to my phone instead of my laptop when I'm recording. I want to shoot that person.

• 2:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:54Speaker 04

  I'll ring, I'll use the arm, I'll ring her, I'll be like, "What's wrong with you? Why would you ring me?"

• 2:58Speaker 03

  So annoying. It's like when I ring my mother and she has me in her hearing aids and there's like, like an echo and a delay and it's like you're zooming Abu Dhabi. Although actually, I don't know why I said that because I've zoomed Abu Dhabi before and the, now, the connection was actually fantastic. Timbuktu, isn't that kind of the general place we talk about when we say it's miles and miles away? Anyway-

• 3:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, we're here, we're here. And if we sound weird, it's because A, Joanne's headphones didn't connect and B, people are working on the cladding of our building at the moment, so there's a bit of buzzing.

• 3:31Speaker 03

  But apart from that, this tech setup is an absolute fucking dream. Jo, okay, okay, Jo, okay, we're all frustrated. And just to add to Vogue's alphabetical listing of shite mares for today's podcast. My, one of my boat buddies smokes weed every day and then saws wood. I don't know where the wood's going. I don't know what the wood is for. I don't know if he's just doing it because he's stoned. I don't know if he remembers doing it, but he smokes a spliff on the roof of the barge and then starts using an electric saw. So that's, I can hear him getting his tools together also.

• 4:11Speaker 03

  He like can smell the weed and the sawing is about to commence.

• 4:15Speaker 04

  Well, I just, I just bought myself, I've started buying myself tools. If you need anything fixed in your house, I'm about to fix a toilet seat downstairs. I bought myself a sander, I'm sanding my outdoor table. I did, I did not know how many pieces of sand, paper, stuff you needed to put back on. So I've only done one section of it, but I'm going to finish her today and she looks great. And I've saved myself a fortune because I priced up getting a new top and it was very expensive. So I got myself a sander. So I'm a DIY expert now.

• 4:43Speaker 03

  I love this for you. I, I've been really, I've been really meaning, we've spoken about it before on the podcast. Oh, here he goes. Sorry, I could just hear him.

• 4:53Speaker 04

  Ask him what, ask him what kind of saw he has.

• 4:57Speaker 04

  Tell him to send me a link.

• 5:00Speaker 03

  I'd say he'll be sanding his fingers at some stage because I don't know how the fuck he's managed to keep them all on.

• 5:05Speaker 04

  I don't, I don't know how anyone smokes spliffs pre 8am. I don't smoke them anyway, but like in London, when I drop the kids to school, I'm like, and it's just like this massive cloud of weed. I'm like, that's not, you're not going to have a productive day now. You've ruined it and it's not even eight in the morning.

• 5:23Speaker 03

  And I love vice and I love anything that takes me out of my own skin for any amount of time. But even I, I.

• 5:34Speaker 04

  Draw that line.

• 5:35Speaker 03

  On my 120 milligrams of Prozac wouldn't engage in spliff in the morning. I'll tell you what, I actually, I, I, I knew this about myself, but I tend to kind of, I'm like a fly that keeps kind of banging into the electric thing that my mum kills them with. What's the other electric thing that our mothers have?

• 5:53Speaker 04

  Your mom has one of them. We don't have one of them.

• 5:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, like an electric fence that the, it's not a fence, it's just like a wall hanging and they, and you can hear them frying themselves all day in the summer.

• 6:03Speaker 04

  Mm hmm. Yeah, they stink.

• 6:04Speaker 03

  And it sounds exactly like when I had my laser eye surgery and they blew off my iris.

• 6:11Speaker 04

  I don't know if I'd be able to get that done.

• 6:13Speaker 03

  Do you remember I told you, and I, I mean, I know we're allowed to repeat stories sometimes, it's not, come on, we're four years in at this point. We don't live that much. Our lives aren't that interesting. Is that the cladding or is that my stone carpeting?

• 6:24Speaker 04

  That one's me, it's the cladding. Listeners, we're sorry, we're sorry.

• 6:31Speaker 05

  Incidentally, you said about reminding people when it's the last one.

• 6:35Speaker 04

  Oh, let's throw in some more bad news.

• 6:37Speaker 05

  It's the last one. Only a couple of weeks and they'll be back and it might not sound like this anymore.

• 6:42Speaker 04

  Do you know what's so funny? It's like the body, they say the body, the body keeps the score. It's like the part, I always find when we get to the end of a season, things do start to, things do start to slowly fall apart for us. Do you agree?

• 6:55Speaker 05

  Sorry, my bin men have just arrived, so that's what that sounded like.

• 6:58Speaker 04

  Oh, the bin men are there too. Well, I told you this and you were disgusted when I said it, but I'm sorry. We all need a break from each other. The listeners need a break from us. We need a break from each other. It's only two weeks. And we're all, we'll come back sprightly.

• 7:12Speaker 03

  Oh, Joe, do you find it in any way offensive that she keeps on with this narrative of how much she needs a break? Or is that just me?

• 7:19Speaker 05

  You just hit it quite hard.

• 7:20Speaker 04

  I want you to know I've hired a private detective to unearth my tassel spells. And I'm expecting to see your email. Okay?

• 7:28Speaker 03

  Uh oh, uh oh.

• 7:30Speaker 04

  And Joe, I wouldn't be, Joe, I wouldn't be totally surprised if your name pops up also.

• 7:36Speaker 05

  I've only got a couple of profiles.

• 7:40Speaker 04

  Helen McGonigal, what's your name? What's your, what's your trolly rolly name?

• 7:45Speaker 03

  McGonigal. That's so random. Was that someone you went to school with?

• 7:49Speaker 04

  No, I think, isn't that not what your man Sebastian's name is? Isn't it?

• 7:53Speaker 05

  Oh, that's who he was pretending to be. Of course, a woman, the bastard.

• 7:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, of course. Remember we said, we were like, it's a fucking man. I'm pretty sure his name was Helen McGonigal.

• 8:06Speaker 03

  I posted, I posted an accidental thirst trap the other day.

• 8:10Speaker 04

  I didn't see it. Where?

• 8:12Speaker 03

  On Insta. I didn't post it to the, I was, I was doing a little boat tour and I was wearing a bralette.

• 8:17Speaker 04

  The boat tour?

• 8:18Speaker 03

  Oh, no, no, no. I'm, I'm, don't worry, don't worry. I'm obviously gridding my boat life because.

• 8:22Speaker 04

  Oh my God. Okay. I was, I was literally waiting. How did I miss your stories? Yours always pop up for me. I must've been sick. It must've been at nighttime.

• 8:29Speaker 03

  I'm a water wanker. And I know it's because you want a break from me. You've told me repeatedly for the last three weeks. I'm surprised.

• 8:33Speaker 04

  Oh yeah. Fuck, I've muted her now she knows.

• 8:35Speaker 03

  I wouldn't be at all surprised.

• 8:38Speaker 04

  I like, sometimes your stories pop up and I go into Instagram so much. I'm like, she might notice how quickly I look at her stories. I'm gonna stop.

• 8:45Speaker 03

  Well, I think the more you engage with someone, don't they, don't they pop up more? Isn't that kind of the rules?

• 8:51Speaker 04

  They do. I decided to take tea to his first concerts on Friday night. ACDC.

• 8:59Speaker 03

  Where did you take them?

• 9:00Speaker 04

  The apology.

• 9:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, brilliant, love us.

• 9:02Speaker 04

  The wusses, I can't even get Spencer a ticket for that. He's not going. I still hold out hope that I might get another ticket for Spem, but I don't think it's gonna happen. Um, no, we went to Dua Lipa. Oh, yes, Dua Lipa, who's never been heartbroken. We'll get to that. Never. Well, I can fucking see why.

• 9:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know.

• 9:23Speaker 04

  I sat there, right? And I, I wouldn't say like, I'm not a massive Dua Lipa fan, is what I would say. But my God, banger after banger, I knew all of her, all the words. She is unbelievable, but she came on and you know, I was like, oh God, you know, when someone just is so gorgeous. I literally was sat there and I was like, I actually was about to stand up and dance and I was like, I was so, I felt so ugly looking at her. I was like, oh my, and she's so sexy. And you know, the way like, I'm just not sexy. And I was like, how did she learn that? I don't think she was like that at the start of her career. So I started going through all these things in my mind and then she's so pretty. I was like, I was like, I'll do a before and after on Dua Lipa.

• 10:08Speaker 04

  What was Dua like, Dua Lipa like before? And then I looked and I was like, God damn it, it was the same face, same face. She hasn't done a thing. Now, the night I saw her, Jamiroquai came on stage and Joanne, a light bulb went off in my head.

• 10:23Speaker 03

  That was an interesting collab. I saw that floating around the internet and I thought.

• 10:26Speaker 04

  Remember him? Joanne and JK.

• 10:29Speaker 03

  That's something that we can't even joke about because he, like, I would have a go now if I met him. But you see, these are people that I, I can't say because if he knows I've spoken about him, then that undermines my position as his future.

• 10:41Speaker 04

  You haven't spoken about him. I have just suggested as a matchmaker that as soon as he came on stage, I thought to myself, Joanne and JK, Jay and Jay. And I was thinking wedding invitations, Jay and Jay. And I was thinking, I even got to the, to the seating plan at your wedding. Jay and Jay, it would just, it would just work.

• 11:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:00Speaker 04

  Mainly because of the names and the dancing, he could do the dancing, you wouldn't do that. He's so cool as well.

• 11:06Speaker 03

  He's very cool. Loves a hat, as do I. Um, do you remember him and Denise found out and had to do a very serious line?

• 11:15Speaker 04

  Oh my gosh, yeah.

• 11:16Speaker 03

  Was it Denise Van Aten?

• 11:17Speaker 04

  Was it Denise Van Aten? Or was it Emma Bunton? Why do I think it was Emma Bunton?

• 11:21Speaker 03

  No, definitely wasn't Emma Bunton. She's gone out with that lad she's with since she was about 12.

• 11:26Speaker 04

  Yeah. God, I know so much about people I don't know. It's just bizarre.

• 11:30Speaker 03

  What's the fact check at there? Did he cheat on her? Did he cheat on her, Jo?

• 11:34Speaker 04

  He's loads of supercars, loads, a huge collection of supercars.

• 11:37Speaker 03

  Is he still dying and out? Like, Jamaric White, I mean, fantastic in the day.

• 11:41Speaker 04

  He's unbelievable. No, his music's still savage. I'd go to a full Jamaric White concert.

• 11:46Speaker 03

  I'm surprised he's, I thought he'd run out of money at this point.

• 11:49Speaker 05

  They were together from 1998 to 2001.

• 11:52Speaker 03

  What happened, Jo? Did he cheat on her?

• 11:54Speaker 05

  The Mirror described it as a bitter split.

• 11:57Speaker 03

  Oh, I've had one of them. Bitter split, yeah, yeah, yeah. I sensed it. I don't know why. Do you know, we need more celebrity friends. If we were in any way good at our job or in any way good at networking, we could just ring Denise now, live and ask her. Or Jamaric White.

• 12:11Speaker 04

  I actually know Denise. I don't know her well, but

• 12:14Speaker 03

  How well?

• 12:16Speaker 04

  Probably not well enough to just text her and be like, hey Denise, why did you Jamaric White break up?

• 12:21Speaker 03

  You don't think she'd just go live on the pod and just tell us the nitty gritty? Gritty? The nitty gritty? Jo?

• 12:27Speaker 05

  Gritty, yeah.

• 12:28Speaker 03

  What, the nitty gritty? What am I trying to say? Jeez, I've only had one.

• 12:31Speaker 04

  And as well.

• 12:32Speaker 05

  The nudity and the detail.

• 12:34Speaker 03

  Grishy detail, grishy details.

• 12:36Speaker 04

  And also, Joanne, if you're planning on moving in on her ex, then that would just make it worse. And she'd, now, now, even if she did like me to begin with, she won't like me now because she'll know what's gonna happen. You might need him at the Glastonbury.

• 12:47Speaker 03

  I would say she wouldn't give a flying fandango. She's had enough

• 12:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, you do.

• 12:53Speaker 03

  Trouble with lads since then. She's not gonna care about her ex going that far back. You stop caring. You do stop caring eventually about everyone, really, don't you?

• 13:00Speaker 04

  Not only do you stop caring, you think, God, thank God it's not me. I remember looking at one of my ex's exes, so the ex before me, and thinking, that lucky bitch, she literally escaped unscathed. But Julie, but two nights, Wembley Stadium. Have you noticed, guys, what a museo I am now? Am I a museo, Jo? Is that what I am? Do I call myself that now? I wonder what gig I'll go to next.

• 13:24Speaker 05

  Probably need to visit a few more jazz clubs.

• 13:26Speaker 04

  No, Jo, I only, I only, I only go to arenas now. I only go to see people in stadiums and arenas.

• 13:36Speaker 00

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• 13:59Speaker 00

  Still haven't started? Hey, better late than ever. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pickup fees may apply.

• 14:10Speaker 04

  I got home on Friday night. Saturday morning, I was up and I was doing squat racks. I was like, she didn't, you don't see Julepa lying around in bed. She's up there in the squat rack with that arse.

• 14:21Speaker 04

  Sorry, I didn't even speak about T. I know T was there, but I had such a great time. But T, T, so I took him and he was like knackered because it's his bedtime. He goes to sleep at like eight o'clock. He's asleep by. And so we went and like, I knew I was going to have to leave early. So I did have to leave before the end, but I do that anyway. But this reason, this time I actually had an excuse. But T came and like, I was trying to get him up to dance and he's just sitting there like mesmerized by her. And I was like, do you want to go home? And he's like, no, no. I think he loves Julepa as much as I loved Julepa.

• 14:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, maybe that's, maybe that he'll remember this. I remember my mother taking me to shows when I was a kid and it's always stuck with me.

• 14:57Speaker 04

  From what age did you remember?

• 14:59Speaker 03

  Well, I remember she took me to Phantom of the Opera when I was like way too young to be. It's probably they let me in, I guess, because it's, it's Phantom of the Opera. But I remember, but I remember actually being so impressed by it. Shouldn't take me to music gigs now, but it was more theatre stuff. Phantom of the Opera. I remember I went to La Mise à Rab when it came to the three arena in Dublin.

• 15:17Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 15:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was huge. I remember, imagine doing La Mise à Rab in an arena, like crazy.

• 15:23Speaker 04

  Oh my God.

• 15:24Speaker 03

  Where, what else? We went to Panto every year. We went to.

• 15:28Speaker 04

  I still go to the Panto every year. I love it.

• 15:29Speaker 03

  You love the Panto?

• 15:30Speaker 04

  I love the Panto. I'd go on my own. I wouldn't, I don't even need kids to go.

• 15:34Speaker 03

  No, you don't. Do you know one of the best musicals she took me to as well was all in the gayety, I think. Blood Brothers. Do you remember this?

• 15:40Speaker 04

  I saw Blood Brothers.

• 15:41Speaker 03

  Brilliant.

• 15:42Speaker 04

  Great. Really. Do you remember they ran up the middle of the gayety? Do you remember that? I remember that fit when they, they got off the stage and ran up the middle. And I was like, oh my God, what's going on?

• 15:52Speaker 03

  You're like, oh my God, this is so disruptive. What's happening?

• 15:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, I love that. No, I was going to take them to Wicked, but then somebody told me Wicked's quite scary. It might be too much for Gigi.

• 16:06Speaker 04

  I want to know, is the barge life still for you? Or you're just a little holidayed now you're finished with the barge?

• 16:13Speaker 03

  Well, because I'm leaving today, actually, after we finish this record. So do you know when you're just, you know, when you know you're going, so you're just like, okay, I just want to go now.

• 16:20Speaker 04

  You're barged out of this.

• 16:21Speaker 03

  I'm barged out of it. I'm a bit, I'm a bit holidayed out of it. But I, while I do enjoy my own company, you'd want to, considering how much time I spend on my own, it would be nice, like, there was a, so Amsterdam turned 750 years old yesterday.

• 16:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, I saw that.

• 16:39Speaker 03

  So as part of that, there were all these, like, raves going on and everything. And I was like, God, I've had a Dutch friend here now, or even a foreign friend like me. I could go to that, but there's stuff you can't do on your own and going to a rave.

• 16:52Speaker 04

  I mean.

• 16:54Speaker 03

  It's a boundary. I just don't think I could rave on my own.

• 16:57Speaker 04

  I actually, strangely enough, if I had a few drinks, I'd probably be able to, I'd turn into a different person when I have a few drinks. I'm very brave, not obviously, but I'd be hiding in the house before that.

• 17:09Speaker 03

  There's certain things I'm very good at doing on my own, but going to a street party like that, I would feel a little self-conscious.

• 17:17Speaker 04

  I think the Dutch are inclusive. I actually watched a TV show, is his name Tim Rosenthal on Netflix? Something Rosenthal, and he goes around tasting food from loads of places. And in Amsterdam, and I nearly told you to do it, and then I was like, no, I wouldn't do it, she's not going to do it. And basically their delicacy is this, it's the whole fish, it's done in brine, and they take off just the scales, but there's still skin on it, the whole fish, and the tail's left on, and you just eat it like a seal. I know, and then they put it in bread and put some onion and gherkin with it. I know.

• 17:46Speaker 03

  No, I don't, I don't fuck with fish and bread together. I will engage in both of them separately.

• 17:54Speaker 04

  Fish finger sandwich?

• 17:55Speaker 03

  But I've never, ever, I can't, I won't put them, I'll put them together in my stomach, as in, like, post swallow, I will not put fish on bread.

• 18:05Speaker 04

  Really not?

• 18:05Speaker 03

  I feel very strongly about it.

• 18:06Speaker 04

  A fish finger sandwich, though, have you never had one of them? Oh, my God.

• 18:10Speaker 03

  No, no, no, I have, I have, I tried it. And it would have to be a toasted pita. I wouldn't put it on fish and bread. It's a no for me. No, it's a no. Although I will engage in a pil-pil prawn with some toasted baguette.

• 18:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's not the same. You won't have a fish. I love a fish finger sandwich.

• 18:33Speaker 03

  No.

• 18:33Speaker 04

  Loads of mayo and ketchup. Oh.

• 18:35Speaker 03

  Not on the bread. One thing, I'll tell you one thing about the Dutch. Now, I, and bearing in mind, I am one of them now. Okay. Like I am very much living, you know, in part of the canal community, as we all know, blah, blah, blah. And this is what I realised. I spoke to a friend about this. The service, and I can only speak, I can, I'm not going to wildly stereotype all Dutch hospitality people. Because a lot of the people working in hospitality here are probably, they're not, like, it's all, it's very English speaking. A lot of them probably aren't Dutch at all, but.

• 19:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:06Speaker 03

  The service.

• 19:08Speaker 04

  It's changed.

• 19:09Speaker 03

  And I am, I am Holland in my heart. Look, I'm wearing an orange t-shirt. I am Netherlands for life, etc. The fucking service. Where it is. It's because there's no tipping system. There's no tipping culture here, really. And that's what I realised, because obviously, because I live in London and tipping is just, it's, and obviously having spent time in the States where they basically will run you out of the country with a pitchfork if you don't pit.

• 19:32Speaker 04

  Twenty percent to everyone.

• 19:34Speaker 03

  Kind of just in me now. I just, I tip and I, I think I'm a pretty good tipper, but um. It's only after you tip them, they're like, bye. You're like, oh, so you do look me in the eye. Like.

• 19:44Speaker 03

  So bad. And I spoke about it with a friend of mine who lived in, um, uh. Where am I? Holland. Amsterdam for a couple of years. And she explained it was a tipping thing. Like you go in to say you're an inconvenience. And the only place, it's the only one I've been. And then if you try and gesture them over or get their attention anyway, oh my God. Oh my God.

• 20:04Speaker 04

  Oh no.

• 20:04Speaker 03

  Ask their mother. Like, that's one way of getting them nowhere near you. It's wild. I couldn't live here because of that. I'm too impatient. It drives me mental.

• 20:12Speaker 04

  Where's worse now? Because you've been here as well. Because I found Zanzibar, it was like, it was honestly, if you were going to go for food, go for lunch, send somebody an hour and a half before to order the lunch and then head up that way and then you'll get your lunch in about half an hour after that. As Zanzibar was the absolute snail's pace.

• 20:30Speaker 03

  Really?

• 20:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 20:31Speaker 03

  I don't, you know what? It's, and it's not about the speed of stuff coming out. It's the, it's the, it's the disdain of the service. It's just weird. I think because service in the UK and Ireland is so good, that you get a bit spoilt. But yeah, like really, like, I told you about the guy in Lisbon and I asked him for the bill. Did I tell you about this?

• 20:53Speaker 04

  No.

• 20:53Speaker 03

  I was in Lisbon and again, very slow service, blah, blah, blah. And I, I, you know, do have a touch of whatever we say, whatever, I don't know. I find it very hard to wait for things or queue or anything. That's it.

• 21:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, impatient.

• 21:07Speaker 03

  Impati- impatience, exactly, yeah, impatience, which we now diagnose ADHD, but you're right, I'm just fucking very, very impatient. What I have, but I'm like, I'm mentally ill. I'm not, I'm just really impatient. I, your mom was really slow and it was all very, I was getting really frustrated. And so I was still eating, but he passed the table and I just said to him, can I get the bill? Like, because I knew it was gonna be, you know, he was gonna roll off for about an hour. And he, he looked at me still, he goes, you'll get the bill when you're finished eating, yeah?

• 21:34Speaker 04

  What?

• 21:36Speaker 03

  And he actually put his hand up like that to me, but the listeners can't see, but I'm putting my hand up to Vogue and Joe's face. Said, you'll get the bill when you're finished eating, yeah? And of course, I then was like, no, no, I'll get the bill now. In this ladder, like squaring up to each other in the restaurant. It was, it's just a different, it's just a different type of service. But when you're used to a different type, when you're used to something else, it gets frustrating. But like, no one else around me was getting frustrated because they're just used to whatever way it works wherever they live and wherever they eat regularly. If I was here for another two months, I probably wouldn't even notice the disdain.

• 22:08Speaker 04

  I think, yeah, I think that you are right that we're very lucky in Ireland. But like, when I was away to St. Andrews, I loved it. It was one of my favorite jobs I've ever had because you just had fun. Everyone was happy, buzzing around the restaurant. And I think that like, you just get nice people then that come in because you're being helpful, you're being nice, you're having the chat.

• 22:25Speaker 04

  You're being quick, quick, always quick.

• 22:28Speaker 03

  Always quick. But I will also say, and like, obviously now because I am a Dutch local, how they deal with the tourists, I do not know. Oh my gosh.

• 22:37Speaker 04

  Now you.

• 22:39Speaker 03

  Racked, I'm like, here they are again, racking the town on a Saturday night.

• 22:43Speaker 04

  Two hundred and fifty, yeah.

• 22:44Speaker 03

  Coming in here now, ruining the pace.

• 22:49Speaker 04

  You've had a taste of what it's like to live in Hoth at the weekend. Imagine how I feel.

• 22:55Speaker 04

  Every weekend, the traffic is unbearable. I can't leave the house.

• 22:58Speaker 03

  I don't know how you do it. Honestly, I don't know how you do it. Like, I was walking around the red light district this morning, just finishing my shift.

• 23:06Speaker 04

  Are they still open in the morning? Is anyone there in the morning?

• 23:09Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no. But where I'm, where my, where my barge is, I kind of, where I go for my eggs and my omelette. I go for my omelegs and I have to walk through the red light district. And the place was wrecked. And I was like, fucking tourists coming in here on the weekend and wrecking the place. They've no respect for us.

• 23:31Speaker 03

  I think my time on the barge is coming to an end. I've, I've, I've lost a couple of things in the canal.

• 23:35Speaker 04

  No. What? I'm surprised you still have your phone.

• 23:40Speaker 03

  Well, I tell you, by the skin of my teeth, there aren't enough shower caps and sandwich bags in the world to keep my shit safe in the barge, basically.

• 23:52Speaker 03

  When I say by the skin of my teeth, like, I dropped a bag of shit in the canal. It was just like bottles of wine and crisps and stuff like.

• 23:59Speaker 04

  You dropped your shopping in the canal?

• 24:01Speaker 03

  Yes, okay, fine, it was my shopping, yes.

• 24:04Speaker 04

  Did she get it out?

• 24:06Speaker 03

  No, you can't, no, you can't get it, no. It's in there. Box of Marlboro Lights, bag of Cheetos, bottle of Pinot, dinner. My picky bits.

• 24:18Speaker 04

  I didn't have you down as a cheeto girl, what?

• 24:21Speaker 03

  Ah, I love a cheeto.

• 24:23Speaker 04

  I love it. I'm a what's it, cheeto girl. You're not really that girl. I'm surprised.

• 24:28Speaker 03

  I love a cheeto. And I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm a crisp lover and I'm open to all types of crisps, you know? I'm modern, I'm woke, I'm, I'm, I'm diverse. I'll eat anything.

• 24:37Speaker 04

  I don't like a fancy, fancy crisp. Like, you know those one Taurus Diablo or, no, a sensation? That's just.

• 24:45Speaker 03

  Me now, that's fucking, that's the Ferrera, Russia. Day.

• 24:49Speaker 04

  I love a sensation. That's only a treat yourself. Sensations are for the weekend.

• 24:57Speaker 03

  If I finally get invited to Michael D Higgins' summer party, which I've been snubbed from over and over and over again. Michael D Higgins is the president of Ireland. He has a summer party where he invites.

• 25:06Speaker 04

  Sorry, I didn't know he had a summer party. What?

• 25:09Speaker 03

  We're snubbed because we're trash.

• 25:11Speaker 04

  I liked not knowing.

• 25:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, no, no. I've been keeping a close eye.

• 25:15Speaker 04

  Pathetic losers.

• 25:17Speaker 03

  I'm pretty sure Angela Scanlon goes and Laura Whitmore goes. I think Jennifer Maguire goes. They all go. We do not go, folk.

• 25:25Speaker 04

  I was gonna say it's because we're turncoats and we live in the UK, but those girls, I'm ratting them out. Two of them live in the UK. I'm ratting them out. I'm getting on to ours on each one today.

• 25:34Speaker 03

  I was about to say, you try and get on an English panel show when you're living in Ireland, but I don't know why I said that because I've never been on the English panel show.

• 25:40Speaker 04

  Michael, I'll DJ.

• 25:42Speaker 03

  I moved here and was still rejected again and again by English panel shows. The pricks.

• 25:48Speaker 04

  Do I want to do a 20 minute set and I'll DJ?

• 25:51Speaker 03

  Couldn't have went the worse than doing stand up at Michael D Higgins' summer party.

• 25:55Speaker 04

  We wouldn't get invited back again.

• 25:58Speaker 03

  But when I say, when I, when I will go to that party and I will fucking go by hook or by crook, I expect there to be sensation crisps. That's the level of high end crisps that I believe sensation crisps to be.

• 26:11Speaker 04

  I would say, no, he's more of a, these are the ones I was talking about. The, the really fancy ones that are, that they're like truffle flavour. Have you seen them? I think they're called toros or something like that. I haven't even, in fairness, I haven't even tasted them, but I refuse to taste them because they're just a bit too like, or like, you know, those ones that are so high end and they cost loads of money, but they're just ready salted. Ready salted is not a crisp. It's not a flavour. Salted is not a flavour.

• 26:35Speaker 03

  You've lost me and Joe. You move in very different circles.

• 26:38Speaker 04

  Well, in fairness, now, Svenny's mom did bring a couple of bags over here. I have to be honest, but I still haven't tasted them.

• 26:43Speaker 03

  Actually, what am I saying? I'm going to be banned from Ireland. Michael D Higgins will currently have tato crisps, not sensation crisps. He's, he's not going to have an English crisp on an Irish lawn. I apologize.

• 26:52Speaker 04

  That would be extremely, they'll be full of buffalo hunky dories in there. I'll bring the buffalo hunky dories. I'll bring them. I'm going.

• 26:57Speaker 03

  And they say we're turncoats. Aren't Michael D Higgins serving sensations on the Irish? On the lawn for a summer party.

• 27:05Speaker 04

  It would actually be, you'd be taken aback.

• 27:08Speaker 03

  Him, Aiman Devallera would be turning in his grave. Brendan doesn't know Aiman Devallera. Why am I running an index at the end of the line? Check the notes. Do we do notes?

• 27:21Speaker 04

  I used to always say, Aiman Devallera would be turning in his grave if he knew about me because I'm after marrying an English person.

• 27:27Speaker 03

  Yeah. Oh, Aiman's turned about you long ago.

• 27:32Speaker 04

  He rolled over quite often.

• 27:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's flipping around there like a pig in a spit.

• 27:42Speaker 00

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• 28:14Speaker 03

  Hello, Otto.

• 28:15Speaker 04

  Who's that?

• 28:16Speaker 03

  It's Joanne. Joanne. Yes. I feel like I'm the Adam Sandler and he's the Drew Barrymore in Fifty First Dates. I have to keep introducing myself to him every time I see him.

• 28:26Speaker 03

  Every time I have to go through the hell of a year again.

• 28:32Speaker 04

  When you left Clapham, I took the kids out for the best day of their little adult, no, not adult. I took the kids out for the best day of their childhood lives.

• 28:44Speaker 03

  Were you just waiting for me to go, were you? You're sitting in the window of the house, waiting for the plane to take off.

• 28:49Speaker 04

  Quick, Spencer, she's gone. Let's go. Quick, quick, into the car. Quick, kids, let's keep moving. I don't know if she's going to come back. She's leaving the barge.

• 28:56Speaker 03

  She goes just clear.

• 28:59Speaker 04

  She's left the barge. Quick, let's go.

• 29:02Speaker 03

  Well, I just want you to know that I'm arriving back this evening, folks. I expect this level of Clapham hanging out when I'm back.

• 29:11Speaker 04

  Oh, sorry. I've just, it's so funny you say that, but I got something on in Battersea this weekend. It's a really important weekend in Battersea. They've got a, they've got a fair ground up actually here, so.

• 29:20Speaker 03

  Well, I want you to know, after spending a week on my own on the barge, I'm upping all my friendship levels. So both of you be warned. I may even start doing highballs.

• 29:28Speaker 04

  Fan, oh my God. Just do, do a surprise visit on me. I'd love that. Have you lost your keys? Now, you have to be honest. They're gone, aren't they? Are they gone?

• 29:37Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, she's walkies. We talk like there's a fuck.

• 29:42Speaker 03

  Yours? I have yours.

• 29:44Speaker 04

  But you know, did you have an upstairs key or a downstairs key? Because we have to change, we had to change the lock downstairs.

• 29:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, you changed the lock on me. You've changed the lock on me. So I do have keys, but they don't access anything, which I think was the plan all along.

• 29:58Speaker 04

  Anyway, there, I went to Clapham, right? For any parents who live in London, have you seen the splash park there? It's basically like.

• 30:07Speaker 03

  It's talking based.

• 30:07Speaker 04

  Well, because it's just really visually obvious. So I just thought you might, I might be going to Clapham. Running around the splash park.

• 30:17Speaker 03

  You know, I add locations to all my Insta stories. Have you ever seen me tag myself in the splash park?

• 30:22Speaker 04

  It's about four minutes from your apartment.

• 30:25Speaker 03

  What the fuck? It's a splash park.

• 30:28Speaker 04

  I took them there, right? Because I'm telling you, there's all these places in Clapham. You have got the nicest pasta restaurant in Clapham, by the way. So we went there and then I took them to the escape park. And then when I thought I was going to pass away because I was so tired from doing all this stuff, I took them home and they just, they broke me by the end of the day. I had to get into the bath at half three and ask Spencer to take them out for now. They just take, take, take.

• 30:52Speaker 03

  Like I say, I'm, I'm, I'm touching on loneliness. I'm not going to say I'm fully there, but like another week in the barge, I was touching on, if it was, if we were doing this pod this time next week, I'd probably offer to take the children to the splash park just for a bit of company. So I'm, thank God you told me this story this week and I'm about to go back into human contact. So I'm not going to make any wild offers.

• 31:10Speaker 04

  You're going.

• 31:11Speaker 03

  Tell them I'm not. Bring them back. Bring that little one back here. I want to speak to him directly and tell him, Juan, who he doesn't remember ever, is not taking him to the splash park.

• 31:24Speaker 04

  Princess Margaret of the UK royal family.

• 31:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:28Speaker 04

  Who is no longer with us.

• 31:30Speaker 03

  Only one of the royal families, there are many, they're not ours. Carry on.

• 31:33Speaker 04

  There are, there's one that I'm gonna, I'm gonna do this next time, but there's one royal family that would be lovely to be a part of. And this, the prince married this.

• 31:41Speaker 03

  I know, you're talking about Norway. I was there.

• 31:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 31:45Speaker 03

  Obviously, my phone knew I was in Oslo and I'm a citizen of the world and feeding me all this Oslo news. And the Norwegian prince married a reality TV star.

• 31:55Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 31:56Speaker 03

  And he is a fucking nugget.

• 31:59Speaker 04

  Right.

• 32:00Speaker 03

  How is she? And he said, and I was bawling crying, of course I was, it was all Superman stuff, over the TikToks of him saying it's her or nobody. And then they played all that bad Warren what's his face music over the way they do on TikTok.

• 32:11Speaker 04

  Oh my god.

• 32:12Speaker 03

  Emotional, no. And I was in tears. Anyway, sorry.

• 32:16Speaker 04

  That's, that's what I was gonna do a deep dive on because I was like, what a lovely, what a lovely royal family. But it's so funny that you saw that as well because I was like, they're so sound and nice.

• 32:26Speaker 03

  Well.

• 32:27Speaker 04

  I don't like that mad shit, mad shit that happened in Monaco, like.

• 32:30Speaker 03

  I don't think royals can be sound. I don't think there's, I don't think they can be sound. They're too, they're too fucking out of the loop.

• 32:36Speaker 04

  So Princess, okay, fine, here you go. Here's probably who you would have been friends with this royal, Princess Margaret of Britain.

• 32:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:44Speaker 04

  Here's her morning schedule in 1955. She has breakfast in bed, followed by two hours in bed, listening to the radio, reading the newspapers, which she invariably left scattered over the floor and chain smoking.

• 32:56Speaker 03

  Oh my god, this is like my diary.

• 32:59Speaker 04

  11am, she gets into a bath run for her by her ladies maid. Noon, an hour in the bath is followed by hair and makeup at her dressing table. Then she puts on clean clothes as one would imagine of a princess. She never wore any of her clothes more than once without having them cleaned.

• 33:15Speaker 03

  Oh, that's where we differ. Mm-hmm.

• 33:18Speaker 04

  Oh no, I do wash my clothes every day.

• 33:20Speaker 03

  Every single outfit, every single day.

• 33:22Speaker 04

  As I say that, I wore this outfit to the gym yesterday and I'm wearing it to the gym again today. I will wear gym gear twice unless I've been running. 12:30, she appears downstairs for a vodka pick-me-up.

• 33:33Speaker 03

  Perfect, yes.

• 33:35Speaker 04

  1 o'clock, she joins the queen mother, joins the queen mother for a four-course lunch, served in an informal manner from silver dishes with half a bottle of wine per person, plus fruit and a half a dozen different varieties of native and continental cheeses.

• 33:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, this is living. Okay, I take it back. I didn't think a royal could be sound. It sounds like me and this woman would be peas in a royal pod.

• 33:58Speaker 04

  Did you never watch The Crown? And then she was like the wild one.

• 34:02Speaker 03

  I didn't watch The Crown. Sorry, I'm just changing Lauren's name on my phone to Ladies Maid, so she knows to run me a bath.

• 34:09Speaker 03

  As soon as I run.

• 34:10Speaker 04

  At eight, at eight thirty.

• 34:12Speaker 03

  Run me a bath, Lauren, please.

• 34:15Speaker 04

  There must be no stress in that woman's life. Well, she's obviously in.

• 34:19Speaker 03

  Sorry, what? Like, it's stunning. Jesus, I tell you, if I was fucking, if I was a British person paying tax, I'd be, I don't, I am paying tax. I'm fuming. I've just, I've just done, my brain has just clocked what's happening. I do pay tax in the UK. I'm raging.

• 34:34Speaker 04

  She's long gone now, so she would, she'd probably died before you started paying tax here, so it's okay.

• 34:39Speaker 03

  Well, I'm sure there's someone still in there enabling those continental cheeses that we're fucking paying for.

• 34:45Speaker 04

  But you know the way I used to do my morning routine? And I'd be like, up at six, going to the gym. After reading hers, do you want to hear my ideal morning routine? And this is a real one. I would get up at eight, I'd stay in bed scrolling for an hour and have someone bring me coffee. The kids can come to say hi, then they have to go away. Then I want four, four items off the Granger and Co breakfast menu. Have you been there?

• 35:08Speaker 03

  No.

• 35:09Speaker 04

  You need to have. So I want four items off the Granger and Co breakfast menu to pick at, and someone has to eat my leftovers so I don't feel bad. I am erasing hacks from my memory and I'm going to watch the whole thing throughout the day.

• 35:22Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 35:23Speaker 04

  That's my, that's my day. It's not the best day ever.

• 35:26Speaker 03

  That sounds glorious.

• 35:28Speaker 04

  I know. Have you never been to the Granger's?

• 35:29Speaker 03

  I know, folk, I know you in and out, upside down. I've seen into every arifice of your body. And I know that this is, you wouldn't, you'd be secretly squatting under the sheets.

• 35:41Speaker 04

  Well, here's, here, I've, listen, I've thought about that. So the day before this morning in bed, I'll have done a 10K, which I never do. So I'll be so tired that I won't be able to exercise.

• 35:52Speaker 03

  There you go. Fine.

• 35:53Speaker 04

  So there you go. So then, then it will work. Don't worry. I had considered that.

• 35:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. 60K. Steps the day before. I don't, I can't believe that, what was it, was it, who was the princess that you read? What was her name, Margaret?

• 36:05Speaker 04

  Prince, Princess Margaret. She was, you, you should see her in the crown. She was wild. She used to go to where's that place? Mustique. They all go to Mustique.

• 36:13Speaker 03

  Maybe that's my problem. Maybe I was a royal in a past life and that's why I do the things I do. Maybe I'm Anastasia Romanoff. Do you remember from the, remember they never found Anastasia Romanoff? Do you remember the Romanoffs? They were killed in the Russian Revolution? You do, you do. There was films about her. They killed all the Romanoffs.

• 36:29Speaker 04

  They did. The whole family they killed.

• 36:31Speaker 03

  They killed all the Romanoffs. I think it was the Romanoffs. And then they never found Anastasia's body. I think they actually have found it. Anyway, for years and years, they were always talking about where she was and had she gone off and escaped, but she hasn't, of course, she's dead. But I, that's the kind of lifestyle I liked. I'm trying to live. Fuck, it's a 12. Nice dinners. Cheeses. Now I'd be, I'd have a cheaper palate. I'd be big into Baby Bell, Easy Singles.

• 36:54Speaker 04

  I'd be a brie.

• 36:57Speaker 04

  Oh, John, you can't eat those lunchbox things, honestly.

• 37:00Speaker 03

  I'd like, bring me my morning cheesy string.

• 37:04Speaker 04

  Do you remember the Philadelphia, you get the breadstick and some Philadelphia on one side and you'd just be dunking it. Remember the, you still do them?

• 37:10Speaker 03

  I remember going out, I went out with a man who was, a couple of my exes have been quite fitness focused. And I remember him, the, I used to eat, well, you know, I'm a big fan of Jerry Lee Dunk.

• 37:20Speaker 03

  And we, there was, I remember we had a big fight in the car once, because he, we were on his way to his sister's to have dinner and I was eating a Jerry Lee Dunk. He was kicking off, but I was gonna rail my appetite with that shit. I was like, I just, I just love a bit of melted plastic. What can I say? I love a microplastic.

• 37:36Speaker 04

  Oh, God.

• 37:37Speaker 03

  If I can dip it in a cracker.

• 37:39Speaker 04

  No, not for me. I'll, I'll stick with the Spenny cheeses. We should do, we should do our hereditary, is it hered, what's that thing called? Your DNA?

• 37:47Speaker 03

  The problem is, and I don't, I know you're gonna think I'm insane, although I think we've probably passed that. We both think we're both, we're all insane. But I would be worried about putting my DNA into the world wide web because I read on some of my late night websites that I read.

• 38:06Speaker 03

  That they're going to clone us and they're going to use your, you don't want the people to have your DNA. They could clone you. And even though I, I, I joke about wanting to be cloned, I don't think it's safe for, to give them your DNA.

• 38:18Speaker 04

  I think that sounds a bit like a conspiracy theory. I think I would still like to do it just because I want to know where, I feel like there is, I feel like there's a Spanish in me. I don't feel like.

• 38:28Speaker 03

  I know. I don't be saying, you're like, oh, let them clone me if I can find out I have three percent Neanderthal in me, just for the crack. I got it.

• 38:38Speaker 03

  Can I just say, um, Ireland is, a lot of Irish people are of Viking descent, but having spent time in my new home, well, obviously not the Netherlands, in my previous new home, which is the Scandies. Oslo, Oslo money. Uh, I, I'm struggling to understand who came from the same Vikings. I feel we were sent a lower caliber of Viking in some way. Maybe they.

• 39:02Speaker 04

  We were sent the ones that were ousted.

• 39:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, kind of like a leper Vikings. There certainly doesn't seem to be a lot of crossover. Like.

• 39:11Speaker 04

  The lepers, the island Vikings, the ones that just.

• 39:14Speaker 03

  I was looking at these lads and women. I was like, no, no, no, no, we're not, we're not, we're not the same descent. Like, what? You'd want to see these people. It's insane.

• 39:25Speaker 04

  I told you.

• 39:27Speaker 03

  Sorry. It's not fair.

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• 41:03Speaker 03

  Go on, have to be very careful now.

• 41:05Speaker 04

  I know, we're trying.

• 41:06Speaker 03

  Between the drilling and the headphones, we can't speak over each other. And, oh, you're being very quiet. Oh, my God.

• 41:12Speaker 04

  Who, me?

• 41:13Speaker 03

  I got this whole podcast myself because you have to abide by the rules. If I just keep talking, there's nothing you can do. I have to wait until I stop, and I don't think I will. I think I'll keep going. Ready to breath, you're lucky, go on, you're in.

• 41:29Speaker 03

  The Euro millions has been won in Ireland again.

• 41:35Speaker 04

  Highest number.

• 41:37Speaker 03

  No, it's not actually. How much it, oh, sorry, Dolores won 115 million.

• 41:43Speaker 04

  This was something like 250 this time around.

• 41:45Speaker 03

  250 million.

• 41:47Speaker 04

  Something mad.

• 41:49Speaker 03

  In Cork, which is basically about like you just finding your purse. But for me, this is huge cash.

• 41:58Speaker 03

  We've seen your end of year statements. You can't say that anymore.

• 42:03Speaker 03

  Well, well, well. How dare you suggest I recreate my entire comedic narrative?

• 42:11Speaker 03

  No, no, no, folk. You're the rich one.

• 42:15Speaker 04

  Okay, I'll take, I'll take.

• 42:17Speaker 03

  I'd say he just scrawled past the store and went, oh, someone found their pocket change. Oh, someone hubered their kite.

• 42:23Speaker 04

  Oh shit, that's the money I dropped last week is what I thought.

• 42:27Speaker 03

  Someone emptied their Dyson.

• 42:32Speaker 03

  Found the money down the back of their kite. Look at that.

• 42:34Speaker 04

  Pretty good.

• 42:35Speaker 03

  Good for them. But for me, folk, this is huge cash. So I've been very invested. Now, I'd probably blow it all on AirPods, but I am fascinated to see. And I went down a little Lotto hole.

• 42:50Speaker 03

  I couldn't have that amount of money. I would do something stupid. I'd end up giving it away to one of those Nigerian princes or something in a drunken rage.

• 42:58Speaker 04

  Away to that pretend fraud fit.

• 42:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:00Speaker 04

  It's gone, it's gone.

• 43:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, totally. I'd be like, so I seem to be doing a serious line with Tom Cruise. He's actually a bit stuck for cash at the moment because he's in some legal battle with Surrey and Katie Holmes. So I've lent him 200 million, but I think it's fine. He said he'd jump on a kite for me.

• 43:19Speaker 04

  Be grand, be grand.

• 43:22Speaker 03

  But so you're one Dolores who won 115 million. Do you know that I'm post had to put on extra staff because of the amount of letters she was getting begging her for loans and stuff?

• 43:32Speaker 04

  Stop.

• 43:33Speaker 03

  Isn't that wild? And then I ended up going down another Lotto hole and there was a man who won, can't remember how much he won, millions and millions. And he said, my life was better before. He said, if you win the Lotto, everyone you know thinks you've all won the Lotto. And he said, the amount of money that was given away. And he said, and as soon as you pay someone's credit card bills, he was saying, I was paying friends bills, 50 grand credit card bills. And he said, and then, and you think that that's it done and dusted and you've done your good deed. And then they come back again with the next bill. And he's like, it's a shit show. There's a lot, if you go down a Lotto hole, there's a lot of lottery stories that have not, that they don't seem to.

• 44:10Speaker 04

  Don't tell anybody. I wouldn't even tell, I wouldn't even tell Spencer. No, all of a sudden you'd be like.

• 44:19Speaker 04

  How does Vogue have an apartment in New York? I don't understand. I'd be like, no, just renting, just renting it. I wouldn't tell a fucking soul.

• 44:25Speaker 03

  Your two, your two private jets flying side by side.

• 44:31Speaker 04

  One with the luggage.

• 44:34Speaker 04

  One for Winston.

• 44:35Speaker 03

  Just waving at it from the window of your own private jet as he waves back from the window of his.

• 44:41Speaker 04

  Absolutely. Do not, that's where they all went wrong.

• 44:45Speaker 03

  She started paying for St Bart's. We're all really confused.

• 44:51Speaker 04

  Don't worry, it's meant I'll get this. What?

• 44:54Speaker 04

  I, I always get the food when we go out.

• 44:57Speaker 03

  I didn't even know she had a card. I've never seen her put a ban before.

• 45:05Speaker 03

  And your name as your Lotto winner would be like Cosmopolitan Williams. Like you wouldn't even glamour Williams.

• 45:12Speaker 03

  Metro Williams.

• 45:15Speaker 04

  I'd be living a happy life, paying no one's credit card bills, except my own.

• 45:22Speaker 03

  Well, I'm dying to see who's won, but I think they're smart to keep it to themselves if they are planning on doing that.

• 45:28Speaker 04

  Oh, they have to honestly keep it to yourself. Dan and Cork, keep it to yourself.

• 45:33Speaker 03

  And if you want to sponsor the podcast, get in touch. Hello at mtgmpod.com.

• 45:38Speaker 04

  We would love, and we're very quiet. We don't discuss anyone's secrets. Yes. We're private people.

• 45:48Speaker 04

  Can you imagine? I, now I'm on.

• 45:52Speaker 03

  I'm problematically private, I would say. Yeah.

• 45:54Speaker 04

  I know. It, it does get confusing at school even. I won't give them my name. I'm like, sorry, guys, I am private. Please, thank you. Thank you.

• 46:04Speaker 03

  What's the opposite of Vogue? Stellar Williams. Any other magazine. What other magazine is there?

• 46:10Speaker 04

  Woman's Way.

• 46:11Speaker 03

  No, this is. This is your woman's way, Williams. That's it.

• 46:15Speaker 04

  Take a break, Williams. Thank you very much. Take a break, Williams. Horse and Hound, Williams.

• 46:22Speaker 03

  Horse and Hound Williams, that's it.

• 46:25Speaker 05

  There she is.

• 46:25Speaker 03

  I can't wait to unearth her on Tattle, I am buzzing.

• 46:31Speaker 03

  I'll just start replying to Horse and Hound Williams, like, Vogue, I know it's you, just contact me directly, we can have this out with HR, there's no need, there's no need for this.

• 46:41Speaker 04

  No, Joanne, I'd like to go down my own private routes, thank you very much.

• 46:43Speaker 03

  Like, how dare you, I'm gonna walk your dog. And the profile photo is you and Winston, I'm like, I can clearly see you.

• 46:58Speaker 03

  Well, that's it from us, that's it from me, Joanne McNally and Horse and Hound Williams.

• 47:09Speaker 03

  To all our listeners, I'll see you on Tattle in half an hour to do a debrief of this shit episode. What does she even do?

• 47:17Speaker 04

  What does she do? Fuck all. Everyone, thank you for listening, we are in a two-week break and we will be back, we will be worse wily than ever and we will have our sound fixed. What, Jo, you're about to say something?

• 47:29Speaker 05

  Eighteenth July, part of the eighteenth July. Oh, but in the meantime, you'll be back with a bonus, sorry, you'll be back with a bonus.

• 47:35Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, oh, sorry, yeah, we'll be back with the bonus on Wednesday. Also, I want to tour, like, always important to remember that, always important.

• 47:44Speaker 03

  There's weird new rules now about advertising, so I can't say where to get the tickets, but you know.

• 47:50Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah, no.

• 47:51Speaker 03

  Where they are.

• 47:52Speaker 04

  You know, and you know you wanna go, you know you wanna go, if you really thought about it.

• 47:57Speaker 03

  And there's an extra Dubai itself.

• 47:58Speaker 04

  And also, if you are just popping into a bookshop or going across my Instagram, I have a book that's out, just saying, big mate.

• 48:05Speaker 03

  Big mate, and it is just for, if you needed that, verified, it's huge.

• 48:10Speaker 04

  It is big.

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