Wandsworth Prison, Brad Pitt & Intruders Downstairs

There are more updates from Joanne in Cape Town this week. They are as fantastic as you'd imagine. Meanwhile, back in the UK, Vogue might have some explaining to do to her kids. Plus, the Wandsworth Prison scandal, the Brad Pitt scam & where Vogue's uncanny impression of Sandra came from. If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] Please review Global's Privacy Policy: global.com/legal/privacy-policy/ For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com For more information about Joanne's gigs, visit: www.joannemcnally.com This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.

• 0:02Speaker 00

  This is a Global Player original podcast.

• 0:15Speaker 01

  Hello and welcome.

• 0:17Speaker 02

  Oh, hello and welcome.

• 0:19Speaker 01

  I'm coming to you live from, get then, I'm still here. Holding the entire tourism economy together, frankly.

• 0:27Speaker 02

  I was thinking to myself, she better not come back in February because as with a Tuesday being the worst day of the week, February is the worst month of the year by far.

• 0:37Speaker 01

  Is it? I thought I'd, but I was, I'm a raise in January, which we're a raise February as well. I don't know if even I can drink that much.

• 0:43Speaker 02

  January is the worst. No, January, are you mad? Everyone's like, oh, it's great. Like we're over Christmas. We're getting, we're turning over a new leaf. And then by February, it's like, fuck that leaf. It's crap. And then it's too cold to do anything. So you're like, oh, now I'm still, and it's going to probably snow for the whole of February. February is the worst.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  But then Vogue, then, then what happens with March? You know, March's not, March doesn't promise much either. So then what happens? I just don't come back.

• 1:09Speaker 02

  March isn't that bad. The days are getting brighter. It's not as cold. March, you're like, you'll be ready by March, I should think.

• 1:15Speaker 01

  Will I? Is it springy by March?

• 1:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, defrost you in March.

• 1:20Speaker 01

  Defrost me in March. No, no, no, no, I'm hot. You'll have to reheat me.

• 1:25Speaker 02

  We'll have to, no, we'll have to cool you back down. We'll cool you back down.

• 1:31Speaker 01

  Something awful happened the other day.

• 1:34Speaker 02

  What? It was probably not awful. Do you know what it's like being over here?

• 1:39Speaker 01

  Something really tragic happened the other day.

• 1:42Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:42Speaker 01

  I very naively believed I had a tan and then it washed off. So I was traipsing around, get then, thinking I was tanned, that I'd, that I'd caught a tan, that my, that I'd, all my tanning had worked. And then my bear by Vogue washed off and I realised I was still translucent. And it was embarrassing.

• 2:02Speaker 02

  Do you have a tan at all?

• 2:03Speaker 01

  I do tan. I do sunbathes, but like, I do find it insanely boring. I, and we have to follow the sun around the garden and all, like, it's like a pain in the hell. But then I was tanning, I was like, oh my God, I don't need to sunbathe. I've got a great tan. It was awful. And I am literally see through.

• 2:21Speaker 02

  Well, you look really brown from where I'm sitting.

• 2:23Speaker 01

  I don't, I, yeah, because I put a bag on.

• 2:25Speaker 02

  Boobs, boobs look great.

• 2:27Speaker 01

  And the girl, the girl down there where I eat the, where I eat 12 pouch eggs a day, she was like, you're so, you're tiny. She's like, you look great. I eat compared to when you got here. And I was like, thank you so much. She's very confused as to why I keep switching colours. She's like, what the fuck is going on here?

• 2:44Speaker 02

  I would say they had, is there any, is there a market down there for the fake tan? Should I be considered as South Africa for?

• 2:50Speaker 01

  No.

• 2:50Speaker 02

  Oh, no, I might pop down for February for work. Is that what you're saying?

• 2:55Speaker 01

  Come with me. Well, I'm gonna do, I'm coming here next January. I'm gonna start my next tour here. I'm gonna do a work in progress here in January. So you're welcome to join. If you want to open for me, if you have a tight 10.

• 3:07Speaker 02

  Well, thank you so much. I couldn't think of anything I'd like to do less.

• 3:11Speaker 01

  A tight 10 or a loose 15, folk, whatever you want to do. The stage is yours.

• 3:15Speaker 02

  I'll do, listen, if I can do a tight five, I'll come.

• 3:19Speaker 01

  She's like, I've got to lose 40. And I'm like, no, no, no.

• 3:23Speaker 02

  Could I just introduce you on stage?

• 3:28Speaker 01

  And take it off as a, as a work expense. Yeah, actually, yeah.

• 3:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. She's a comedian. I can put comedian on the old CV. I was introducing, I was introducing her on stage and I told a joke. I'm a comedian.

• 3:41Speaker 01

  I follow Kevin Bridges. What more do you want?

• 3:44Speaker 02

  I follow, excuse me, I follow about 10 comedians.

• 3:47Speaker 01

  I, yeah, I, I flew over Michael McIntyre's house once. What more do you want? Expense done. Work, work.

• 3:53Speaker 02

  Come here to me. I have, I have news.

• 3:57Speaker 01

  Fantastic.

• 3:58Speaker 02

  Do you remember, now it's not about me, but it's news all the same. Do you remember your one who was riding the prisoner in prison? The prison guard and she went to prison.

• 4:07Speaker 01

  Do I what?

• 4:09Speaker 02

  Did you see?

• 4:11Speaker 01

  It's my Roman Empire. Go on.

• 4:15Speaker 02

  Did you see the speech the judge said?

• 4:19Speaker 01

  No.

• 4:20Speaker 02

  How on earth he was able to keep a straight face? So look at it, he's like.

• 4:26Speaker 01

  I didn't hear, I was too busy being aroused by the crime, to be honest.

• 4:30Speaker 02

  Okay, well, you're gonna be aroused by this. Are you ready?

• 4:33Speaker 01

  Okay, yeah.

• 4:34Speaker 02

  Here's his speech. On the 25th of June 2024, you were on duty in uniform, sexy, when you went to a cell with a prisoner. You took off your prison issue radio and put it to one side. Your set of keys was at risk of being taken. I mean, I think that was the least of the worries there.

• 4:51Speaker 01

  Jo, your eyes are getting hard already. Like, control yourself.

• 4:55Speaker 02

  Guys, I don't want, don't have, if you're gonna, if you're gonna work out, please mute your mic.

• 5:00Speaker 01

  If you keep talking like this, I'm gonna have to turn my camera off.

• 5:04Speaker 02

  Are you slipping off your chair, Jo?

• 5:07Speaker 01

  I feel a paw coming on.

• 5:09Speaker 02

  Show your hands, scummers.

• 5:10Speaker 01

  Everyone show their hands, show your paws.

• 5:13Speaker 02

  Now, I've already read it, so I don't get as turned on as I did the first time. Okay.

• 5:18Speaker 01

  Could you just, could you drop your voice a little bit, Vogue? Could you go, would you really engage your masculine?

• 5:24Speaker 02

  A second prisoner was present and had a camera. Doubtless. No, I feel dirty. I feel dirty.

• 5:30Speaker 01

  I'm out.

• 5:30Speaker 02

  I feel like we're doing it. Doubtless, doubtless on a phone, which must have been an unauthorized phone. Wasn't authorized.

• 5:38Speaker 01

  That's, I think that's the least of our problems, to be honest, but go on.

• 5:42Speaker 02

  He appears to have been smoking cannabis. So what prison is this and how do I get in?

• 5:47Speaker 01

  A hundred percent. It's better than Butlins.

• 5:53Speaker 02

  Rather than challenge his possession of a phone or cannabis, you consented to him recording what was happening. Fuck, actually, this is pretty bad, isn't it? Like, it's pretty bad.

• 6:01Speaker 01

  Can we book two weeks into Wanzar Prison? Can we get in, Jo? How do we get in? What do we need to do?

• 6:06Speaker 02

  How do we just get two weeks? We don't want any more than that. We'll get bored. We'll have two weeks in there and that'll be enough.

• 6:11Speaker 03

  Spaces are quite limited. That's the only thing. So you need to do something quite serious.

• 6:16Speaker 01

  Do you know, I came to Kipton to try and get ridden by a hooligan. Had I known that I could just check into Wanzar Prison. I live down the road from the prison.

• 6:23Speaker 02

  Be so handy. You wouldn't even have to pack a bag. They give you everything you need. It's like, this sounds like five-star accommodation.

• 6:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, do they have a spa? What else? Go on, Vogue, finish.

• 6:33Speaker 02

  The recording lasts some four and a half minutes, during which you gave a prisoner. Yeah.

• 6:38Speaker 01

  We don't want any longer than that. Yeah.

• 6:41Speaker 02

  I was thinking it's maybe a minute and a half too long.

• 6:43Speaker 01

  Agreed.

• 6:44Speaker 02

  During which you gave the prisoner oral sex, then vaginal intercourse and a number of positions before concluding by giving more oral sex.

• 6:53Speaker 01

  This is not real. This, he did not read this out.

• 6:56Speaker 02

  Should I drop that? This is why I wanted to read it to you. I'm not finished. I'm not finished. You participated-

• 7:01Speaker 01

  I have finished. I just finished.

• 7:06Speaker 02

  You participated with evident enthusiasm.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  My job here is done.

• 7:12Speaker 02

  Sorry. A number of positions as well, by the way. There was oral sex. There was a number of positions. There was intercourse. This is in four and a half minutes. She must have been knackered.

• 7:22Speaker 01

  This woman is, this woman is fantastic. Sorry.

• 7:25Speaker 02

  Okay, so you participated with evident enthusiasm. The second prisoner recorded events and provided a commentary by way of encouragement, including saying, "You guys, we made history. This is how we live at Wandsworth, brov, and you know you are gangsta." I mean, this place, if you're ever feeling down, pop down to Wandsworth Prison. I mean, there's, it's really-

• 7:46Speaker 01

  They've made history.

• 7:47Speaker 02

  Very positive.

• 7:48Speaker 01

  They're up there with Rosa Parks and Sonia Sullivan.

• 7:52Speaker 02

  She's in prison now. She had a taste of it and she wanted to go back.

• 7:56Speaker 01

  It all comes full circle, doesn't it?

• 7:58Speaker 02

  Well, she went in, had a great time and she's like, "I'm coming back."

• 8:01Speaker 01

  She's, well, she's ready for her lesbian phase. She's ready for her lesbian phase. She's gone into a woman's prison. I can't wait for the next video, frankly.

• 8:08Speaker 02

  I thought, you need to go, go and look that up because there's, the speech is obviously recorded. You can watch the judge saying it.

• 8:16Speaker 01

  It's all the different positions. It sounds like he's kind of trying to turn us on, do you think? What do you, like, he could have just gone, "You're, you're going to prison." He didn't need to kind of narrate-

• 8:25Speaker 02

  I think he might have been turned on by it himself.

• 8:31Speaker 01

  Do you know that then there was a video going around which someone sent me, which we thought was someone else doing the, another video, but actually turned out to be like a porn site? So a porn site had kind of mimicked it. Because I was like, "Hold on a second. This is really hot. This is getting hotter. These videos are getting hotter and hotter." But they were actually professionals. Anyway, I think congratulations to everyone.

• 8:51Speaker 02

  I don't know. I wouldn't lie to you. I think she got like nine months in prison or something. That's not really-

• 8:56Speaker 01

  Fifteen.

• 8:58Speaker 02

  Ah, should I only do, should I only do seven? Isn't that what they say? She's in for 10 years, should I only do four?

• 9:03Speaker 01

  I'll be totally honest, to ride a lad in Wandsworth Prison, I'd do two years.

• 9:07Speaker 02

  I actually don't, I think that you would as well. I really do think she would do that, Jo.

• 9:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, she's sentenced to 15 months. It's only just happened, so we'll.

• 9:16Speaker 02

  And she'll do what?

• 9:18Speaker 03

  Well, we don't know.

• 9:19Speaker 01

  Women, I guess now. I guess she'll do women now.

• 9:21Speaker 02

  But why don't they just say, instead of being like, oh, he got five years, he'll be out in two, just give him two years? Like.

• 9:28Speaker 01

  I, I know, I know, I know, I know. It's to be seen to be doing things, I guess.

• 9:32Speaker 02

  But not to be doing things.

• 9:34Speaker 03

  And it's very busy, yeah, they've got to make space, there's.

• 9:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I guess they're like, look, if we, yeah, we'd, we'd like to give you 15 months, but we'll probably keep you three weeks.

• 9:43Speaker 02

  Hmm, yeah.

• 9:44Speaker 03

  You get a table at a restaurant and they tell you, you are going to have to be gone in an hour, okay?

• 9:49Speaker 01

  You have the table till nine? Yeah.

• 9:51Speaker 02

  Never happens to me because I go in at six. They're like, listen, there's no other losers coming in for dinner at six. You stay as long as you need to stay. That's what happens when you, when you dine early.

• 10:00Speaker 01

  Do you know the restaurants, like the posher ones, they sit hot people in the windows? Did you know this, Jo?

• 10:06Speaker 03

  I've never been sat in the window.

• 10:08Speaker 01

  Meet your sister, Jo. Meet your sister. Me and you are back in the fucking toilet alleyway. While Vogue is like in the.

• 10:18Speaker 01

  You know the way I love making out, like me and Jo are like hideous pigs?

• 10:21Speaker 02

  You're my, you're my two little trolls.

• 10:24Speaker 01

  We're just so disgusting. We've just got heads like a bag of vomit and then Vogue is like this knockout. And I, I just love it. I just love doing it. So me and Jo eat in the toilet and Vogue is in the window, literally in, glued up against the window. She's not even allowed to eat. She's literally.

• 10:41Speaker 02

  And then I don't pay for my food either. They're like, you're too good looking to pay.

• 10:44Speaker 01

  Too hard to pay, too, too hard to pay, too posh to push. That's Vogue. Me and Jo, they throw spaghetti at us and then we eat it out of the toilet bowl. Isn't that right, Jo?

• 10:59Speaker 04

  Observe. The North American Dad. 50s. Great polo collection. He enters his vehicle information on Carvana. An offer appears in minutes. Remarkable. He squints, reads it again, smiles and says, "Dang, that's a good offer." The highest form of approval. No haggling, no hassle. No one called him "boss." He's still on the couch. Astonishing. Sell your car today on carvana.com. Pickup fees may apply.

• 11:33Speaker 02

  Oh, I tell you what, dry January. I mean, what is... Actually, no, I'm not gonna come... Are you still finding all of my guts? I just think, do you know what? My skin has never looked better. I've never slept better, but I'm bored. I'm bored.

• 11:49Speaker 01

  One of the lads who's over here with me, because I'm here with 29 gay men, he is obsessed with this rest... I know, it's fantastic. Oh my God, wait, so I'll tell you what happened. Hold on. Hold on, which story will I tell first? 29 gay men, they're staying with me in this house, right?

• 12:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:07Speaker 01

  Last night, one of them runs in. He's crying into my room. He's like, "There's an intruder downstairs." Now, our...

• 12:14Speaker 02

  Was he invited by you?

• 12:19Speaker 01

  My date.

• 12:22Speaker 01

  I was like, "Oh, Jordan's here."

• 12:33Speaker 01

  I just allowed him down to rehydrate. So there's like a gate at the top of the stairs, right? So like the house is a bit old school. You lock at night, so like a gate. It's like a gated stairway. Do you get what I mean?

• 12:46Speaker 02

  A gated community?

• 12:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, but a gated corridor. Because I think, you know, there was a time where house intrusions were obviously like, you know, a big thing here, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, so one of the lads runs in and is crying...

• 12:57Speaker 02

  Sell South Africa to us more.

• 13:02Speaker 02

  Tell us about all the sharks in the water. Have you been able to swim in the sea or no? In case you get eaten.

• 13:06Speaker 01

  I don't engage with the sea. I don't, I don't engage with the sea.

• 13:12Speaker 02

  I saw you down the beach in one of the videos and I was like, what the hell is she doing there? Did she get lost?

• 13:17Speaker 01

  I, I don't engage with the sea. If I, I feel like I just dilute or like, I just don't engage with the sea. Anyway.

• 13:25Speaker 01

  One of the lads runs in, he's crying. He's like, there's an intruder downstairs. I come out, we're all gathered at the top of the stairs through the cage. We're like, hello, hello. They're like, someone's ro- Lads are like, someone's riding downstairs. There's intruders. They've come in. And I was like, so the intruders have come in to have sex in the kitchen? Is that what we're saying? He's like, yeah. I was like, okay. So anyway, a couple of the lads are like, right, look, we'll go down. We unlock the cage. Me and a couple of, a couple of the other lads stay upstairs. Obviously, we're the more femme gays. We lock the cage behind the more masculine gays. Masculine gays are downstairs. They're like, there's no one there, there's no one there. Then the next day over breakfast, one of the lads is like, okay, look, I have a confession to make. His phone was connected to the sauna downstairs.

• 14:08Speaker 02

  No!

• 14:08Speaker 01

  He was watching porn. Yeah, he was watching porn in his room.

• 14:13Speaker 01

  So it was like blasting through the whole house. And we were all like screaming with fear upstairs. Two men had broken in and were fucking in the kitchen.

• 14:29Speaker 01

  We were all like shaking behind the, behind the cage.

• 14:35Speaker 02

  Sorry, and he held out until the next day?

• 14:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm surprised he said anything.

• 14:46Speaker 02

  I was like, you could have gotten away, you could have easy gotten away with that.

• 14:49Speaker 01

  I'd forgotten about the whole thing, to be honest. I'd moved on.

• 14:53Speaker 02

  Porn can even be scary when you're watching it yourself, but if you have to.

• 14:59Speaker 01

  Two men have broken in.

• 15:05Speaker 02

  I think that is so funny.

• 15:09Speaker 01

  We're all cowering behind a cage.

• 15:15Speaker 02

  And he's just standing there pretending to be scared as well.

• 15:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. And he was the one, he was like, I'll go down, I'll throw it out. No wonder he was so brave.

• 15:26Speaker 02

  If that was me, if that happened to me, I wouldn't be able to hold my laugh.

• 15:29Speaker 01

  And one of the lads would like cry in an audience.

• 15:36Speaker 02

  The other fellow's running out and it's like, oh my God, is he turned on by the intruders? Look at him.

• 15:40Speaker 01

  I was like, yeah. I was like, he hasn't come back up yet. What's going on? He's just joining in.

• 15:48Speaker 02

  Well, I'm glad you're having a nice time. Will I tell you something that happened in my week? Unfortunately, it's not as interesting as that. So I was, I was doing a job with, with Amazon and they had a like kid Alexa there. And, uh, yeah, and T was with me and so T kept being, Alexa, how many thoughts does Vogue Williams do? And asking all questions.

• 16:10Speaker 01

  What is a children's Alexa, do you mind me asking?

• 16:12Speaker 02

  So it's like, it's, it's a little owl and they can ask you things, but it's like all PG, like they can't ask certain things. It won't give answers to certain things. It plays music.

• 16:20Speaker 01

  It won't play porn through the house, that kind of vibe. Okay.

• 16:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's exactly what we were looking for. Anyway, the people were like to T, you can have the Alexa. And I was thinking, oh no, because they just stand there. I've had to plug it out because they're like, Alexa, even, oh, she's over it. Alexa, and she, she understands her name, but obviously not what he asked. But then they started asking, who is Vogue Williams married to? And I was like, oh fuck.

• 16:44Speaker 01

  How would they, how does he even know what marriage is? What is wrong with these kids?

• 16:48Speaker 02

  I don't know. Cause they were asking, who is Vogue Williams' child?

• 16:51Speaker 01

  Why are they, why are they asking about you? They should be asking about me. They live with you. They're not, they want, they should want to get to know more about me.

• 16:59Speaker 02

  I'm thrilled they haven't asked about you, actually.

• 17:04Speaker 02

  It can only, that's actually the saving grace.

• 17:07Speaker 01

  Alexa, why is Joanne in Wandsworth?

• 17:13Speaker 02

  So it was like, Alexa, when was Vogue Williams married? Vogue Williams was married until 2018. And I was like, oh, fuck. And then it was like, but it actually didn't mention the first marriage. Thank God. It was just saying basically that I was married. That's when I broke up. And then it was mentioning that I was married to Spencer. But then when they ask, who is Spencer Matthews married to? It says Spencer Matthews isn't married.

• 17:33Speaker 01

  We know Alexa cannot be trusted. It was only in a recent episode, we spoke about the fact that she gaslit the shit out of us about this podcast and pretended it didn't exist. Do you remember?

• 17:44Speaker 01

  So like.

• 17:44Speaker 02

  I forgot that was Alexa.

• 17:46Speaker 01

  I don't know what little troll is in there pushing the buttons, but she is not a fan of us.

• 17:50Speaker 02

  It could have been a coincidence when you were asking about the podcast, but now we know. She's trolling me. Oh, Spencer Matthews isn't married. Okay, Alexa, actually, he is married.

• 18:01Speaker 01

  There's a little gee bag in that machine, pressing buttons. She's trying to fuck with us.

• 18:07Speaker 02

  Um, Joanne, best news story of last week?

• 18:10Speaker 01

  Brad Pitt.

• 18:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:21Speaker 02

  I just.

• 18:23Speaker 01

  I know. I can't. But I will. I can't, but I will. I can't, but I will.

• 18:27Speaker 02

  It was good for everyone except one person.

• 18:31Speaker 01

  We always worried about AI, more so.

• 18:35Speaker 02

  About it coming to kill us.

• 18:37Speaker 01

  From a self, well, more so, we were, it was revenge porn was our main concern, really, wasn't it? Although you were kind of already revenge porned, weren't you?

• 18:44Speaker 02

  Well, you, you already were revenge porned. Well, not, can we, okay, let's get that right. Cause there's been a lot of, a lot of articles about me recently and I'd like not to be.

• 18:55Speaker 01

  There is a lot of articles.

• 18:58Speaker 02

  I'm getting in trouble. I'm getting in trouble.

• 19:01Speaker 01

  Listen, as me and Joe say, brings more traction to the pod. We're more than happy to have you dragged on the Daily Mail if it gets us three more listeners. There we go.

• 19:12Speaker 02

  Anyway, I wasn't revenge porn. I was deep fake porn.

• 19:15Speaker 01

  You weren't.

• 19:16Speaker 02

  But it looks like I'm giving about 20 fellows a blowjob at one time, which would, which would work with my mouth, I understand, but it's not me.

• 19:22Speaker 01

  I think, I think calling it deep fake is being very kind. It's more like clip art. It is the worst looking thing I've ever seen. It is someone else's body. It might as well be an Asian woman's body with Vogue's head on the top as, it's not believable. It is fucking stupid looking. But gas, obviously. But like, deep fake is, is being very sound to that.

• 19:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 19:44Speaker 01

  To that particular photo. I don't think anyone's gonna look at that and think it's real for a single second. Not even the kids, folk. Not even the kids would fall for that.

• 19:53Speaker 02

  I look great in it, so if, if anyone wants to think it is me, go for it, because I look like a real goer in the sack and I, the bod looks great.

• 20:01Speaker 01

  Alexa, how many, no, I'm not even gonna do it, actually. How many men can mummy, no.

• 20:05Speaker 02

  No!

• 20:10Speaker 01

  I won't, I won't, I won't. Disgusting. Anyway, so look, you've been a victim of clip art.

• 20:17Speaker 02

  I'm gonna make a deep fake about you now. That's what you're getting. That's, I'm on a train journey to Manchester, you're going down, I'm gonna stick a dick up your nose.

• 20:24Speaker 01

  Do you not, folk, do you not think that I would love, do you, do you not understand how happy that would make me? So if you wanna make my day, go ahead.

• 20:32Speaker 02

  Do you know what? I'm gonna look to see if there's any Joanne McNally deep fake. There must be. Like, Nally.

• 20:38Speaker 01

  I just haven't reached that level yet. I mean, I hope it's coming.

• 20:42Speaker 02

  No, I think, I think people

• 20:43Speaker 01

  Something to work towards.

• 20:44Speaker 02

  Respect you more.

• 20:46Speaker 01

  Respect me? Are you, are you high? No one respects me.

• 20:52Speaker 02

  I'm gonna do, I'm gonna do Joanne McNally nude. I hope no one looks up my internet history.

• 21:02Speaker 02

  Oh my god, who is that?

• 21:03Speaker 01

  Hands where we can see them, Vogue. Hands where we can see them, please, Jo. Everyone put their hands up.

• 21:08Speaker 03

  I'm glad that you've done this yourself and not just asked me to do it.

• 21:11Speaker 02

  Joanne, there's that video you and I did when I was pregnant, remember? Oh my god, look at your hair here, wow. Jeez, I've never Googled you, Joanne, this is great. You look fantastic. Oh my god, I was like, that's my dress, it is. But I thought it was me in my dress, but it was you in my dress.

• 21:28Speaker 01

  Well, like we spoke recently, we have a WikiFeed account. Vogue has one, Vogue has a higher score than me and we enjoy a friendly competition. So I decided to make an effort with my feet. I did some hardcore content. I posted them online. I'd like to see, did it have any impact, Jo? I was a four.

• 21:50Speaker 02

  Well.

• 21:50Speaker 01

  Why are you looking at me like that? Oh my god, have I dropped?

• 21:52Speaker 02

  No.

• 21:54Speaker 01

  Why are you looking at me like that, Jo?

• 21:56Speaker 03

  The needle has, the needle has moved.

• 21:58Speaker 02

  It has moved a little bit.

• 22:00Speaker 03

  It hasn't moved a lot. So there were 35 total votes before. There are now 47.

• 22:06Speaker 02

  There you go.

• 22:07Speaker 03

  12 votes.

• 22:08Speaker 02

  It's something, it's something. And there's no more ugly, by the way.

• 22:12Speaker 01

  There's no more ugly.

• 22:13Speaker 03

  There's one more ugly.

• 22:14Speaker 02

  Oh, one more ugly, oh, sorry. Jo, why do you have to, why do you have to be so mean to her?

• 22:21Speaker 03

  Because we have to be factual, we have to be accurate.

• 22:25Speaker 01

  Since when?

• 22:26Speaker 03

  Chat GPT.

• 22:29Speaker 01

  We like to forge facts on this thing.

• 22:31Speaker 02

  Hate to tell you, I just got a pedicure. My feet are getting, I'm actually going to the train station after this, I'm not even wearing shoes. I'm not wearing shoes anymore.

• 22:39Speaker 03

  Look, the news gets better. There's one more vote for ugly, but there are six more votes for beautiful.

• 22:46Speaker 02

  Hang on, I'm gonna vote ugly. That's what I'm gonna vote. How do I vote?

• 22:50Speaker 03

  Two more votes for nice.

• 22:51Speaker 02

  Hang on, wait a second, I'm voting, I'm voting ugly.

• 22:56Speaker 03

  Put your phone down.

• 22:58Speaker 02

  Click to race.

• 23:04Speaker 01

  I'm gonna add another dick to your deep fake if you don't watch yourself. I put my feet on a palm tree. I had a bit of leg out.

• 23:15Speaker 02

  Have my, has my needle moved at all? I don't think so. What was I on?

• 23:19Speaker 03

  Well, you haven't been on the campaign trail, mate. So no, you've got the same, you've got the same as you had.

• 23:24Speaker 01

  How embarrassing. I did a campaign and I got six votes. What did I get?

• 23:28Speaker 03

  Twelve, twelve votes. Come on.

• 23:38Speaker 01

  Alexa, how many men can a mummy take?

• 23:49Speaker 02

  Back to Brad Pitt. So there was a woman in France and she basically got scammed because she was sending a man money that she thought was Brad.

• 23:58Speaker 03

  Oh no.

• 23:59Speaker 02

  Have you seen the picture? She thought it was Brad Pitt. He basically was sending her pictures from a hospital bed. He had put Brad Pitt's face on this other person's body who was like, looked, looked like they weren't even breathing. And she sent him 830,000 euro. She said she was fooled after receiving a message from someone claiming to be Brad's mother. I mean.

• 24:23Speaker 01

  Mother.

• 24:23Speaker 02

  This woman was 53. How on earth?

• 24:26Speaker 01

  She left her husband. But do you know what the gas thing is? And like, look, as a human being, who thought she bought a smeg cattle for three pounds, I am aware of the dangers of the internet. Okay? I understand how easy it is to get scammed. But the photos of Brad Pitt, I mean.

• 24:46Speaker 02

  It was like clip art. It was like clip art, like they used to do yourself in school. It was desperate.

• 24:51Speaker 01

  I've seen better art on a kindergarten's corkboard.

• 24:53Speaker 02

  It just wasn't good.

• 24:53Speaker 01

  Fucking death. I mean.

• 24:56Speaker 02

  I mean, the problem is, right? It's, it's, it's people are obsessed with celebrity and like, you'd be thrilled if you thought Brad Pitt was mailing you. But I was thinking to myself, I was like, who could get you on? She's not interested in celebrities. Who could get you on? And I was like, I know, I know. An absolute fuck boy would get you on. She'd be like, yeah, take my money, take my money. You wouldn't even need a famous person.

• 25:18Speaker 01

  I know. Oh my God. Joe, so I, so I cannot explain. I've just, just cut ties with a man. I have been, do you know when you're like, have you ever been played so hard? You kind of come out of it a bit dazed. Have you ever been played that hard? Has anyone been played? I was played harder than a child's tambourine. OMG. I, I actually, I, I think I need to be treated for gullibility. It was really bad. So yeah, you're right. You're right. That's who would get my money.

• 25:51Speaker 02

  But just on that, I don't think, I think that you wouldn't, yeah, but you wouldn't think people would do what somebody did. So that is fair enough.

• 25:58Speaker 01

  We're just very trusting folk and we're, and Joe was our male contact and he's like an angel.

• 26:03Speaker 02

  He's very nice. Yeah.

• 26:05Speaker 01

  Joe, you're giving us a false sense of security.

• 26:07Speaker 02

  Okay. So your man who was pretending to be Brad Pitt, he got all that money out of her. I don't know if she can get it back, but it actually, there is a way that if they caught him. But he's now started posing as Keanu Reeves online.

• 26:19Speaker 01

  Oh my God, I was just talking to Keanu.

• 26:23Speaker 01

  Is that not real?

• 26:26Speaker 01

  What? I just transferred him a hundred grand.

• 26:29Speaker 03

  Uh oh.

• 26:31Speaker 02

  So he's.

• 26:32Speaker 01

  Keanu, I don't know, ring him.

• 26:34Speaker 02

  So now he's after a 67 year old widow and convinced her to send 60 grand in gift cards, money and Bitcoin.

• 26:44Speaker 01

  What the fuck is Bitcoin? That's a conversation for another day. I don't know what it is.

• 26:49Speaker 02

  I don't think we'll ever.

• 26:50Speaker 01

  Money. I can't get my head around Bitcoin. It's like a scratch card for finance bros or gym guys.

• 26:56Speaker 02

  You know, you can go Bitcoin mining. So people have these specific computers that they just leave on trying to mine Bitcoin and like, there might be a chance that they would get it.

• 27:05Speaker 01

  I don't like any outdoor activities. I'm not mining for anyone. I'm not doing it. I don't like to mine. I hate mining. I hate mining. I always have. I've never mined. I never lied to us.

• 27:15Speaker 02

  So 12 billion a year is taken by fraudsters. Every year, 12 billion they get out of people.

• 27:21Speaker 01

  I wonder, could I be frauded? I'd say, I'd say, well, I almost fell for that La Cruzé scam. I have been, yeah. And do you know, but do you remember it was my mother sent me the link to buy the stuff. She sent it to me.

• 27:33Speaker 02

  So you didn't get frauded, Pat did.

• 27:35Speaker 01

  The photos of Brad, I'm sorry, to this woman, if she's listening.

• 27:41Speaker 01

  And she's shut down her Instagram now and all, she's mortified because it's all kicked off. People are like, people are like, be patient. Cause everyone's kind of, she's kind of a bit of a laughing stock. It's mean, but it is what it is. But the photos of Brad, they make your clip or porn look, yeah, look, look proper real. They're so ridiculous. Anyway, I, I, I don't know. I suppose we believe what we want to believe, don't we? We're all a bit delulu. Like.

• 28:08Speaker 02

  I know. And I mean, if, if you thought Brad Pitt, even a part of you thought Brad Pitt was messaging you, you'd be like, oh my God, life changing. Although I'm not really into Brad anymore.

• 28:19Speaker 01

  If his mother contacts you, I think, you know, that's also, you know, woman to woman. You're like, okay, his mom's been in touch, Brad's mom's, but also who are you chatting to? Surely, like, I tell Vogue if an absolute randomer DMs me. So like, if Brad Pitt was DMing me, or Keanu, or whoever, I'd share that information with you. So who did she tell? Who did she tell? Who went, oh yeah, that seems, that seems right.

• 28:44Speaker 02

  Legit.

• 28:45Speaker 01

  Who did she, she must have told someone. Women tell each other everything. She must have told her mates. And Brad's on to me.

• 28:53Speaker 02

  Taylor Swift had some deep fakes. There was AI generated advertisement using her, it's very like you, John, using her likeness, promoted fake La Cruze cookware giveaways. Is that, is that what got you?

• 29:06Speaker 01

  Embarrassingly, no. They didn't even need Taylor Swift to get me. I just went in headfirst. I don't even cook. I do not even cook. And here I was, online, getting scammed by La Cruze.

• 29:17Speaker 02

  You love your air fryer.

• 29:18Speaker 01

  And do you know what I was gonna do with the La Cruze pots? Sell them. I saw it as an investment. Yeah. I saw it as an investment. My career is, it's never secure. It's never secure. Okay. I was literally gonna be outside my flat with a little table. Like, you know when you get kids sell like little perfume?

• 29:39Speaker 02

  I would have bought some of it.

• 29:41Speaker 01

  Of course you would. Oh, you were my first mark. You were my first mark.

• 29:45Speaker 02

  I would have been straight down stocking up on La Cruze.

• 29:54Speaker 02

  One of my other favourite news stories this week is TikTok being banned in America for less than 24 hours.

• 30:01Speaker 01

  See, now, I don't know if this is real or not real, because obviously I'm on my holidays, so I'm not really, I'm not really, like, what would we say, connected to the world at the moment, but there's, I don't know if these are real, but there's a lot of TikTokers, like, doing their last lip sync dancing, crying on the internet. Are they real? Because they're fucking ludicrous.

• 30:19Speaker 02

  Yes. People, do you know that people in Europe have set up TikTok accounts where they basically screen-record themselves going through TikTok videos and then posting them on Instagram so that people in America could watch their TikTok on Instagram. But basically, Biden tried to get rid of TikTok.

• 30:35Speaker 01

  I just zoned out there. What? They did what? That's so many levels. I don't get it.

• 30:41Speaker 02

  I don't think I'd mind so much. Basically, Trump is trying to, like, now everyone's going to love Trump. All the young people are going to love him because he brought, like, I mean, I know that this is, like, the least of our worries about Trump, but, like, honestly, what, why is he so orange? I just don't get it. Like, Trump, there are, there are other brands on the market. I've actually sent him a care package.

• 31:03Speaker 01

  Why don't you gift him? Yeah, you should gift him some. Why wouldn't you gift him? Because you're not giving him.

• 31:07Speaker 02

  I actually, do you know what? I have morals. I wouldn't even gift him. I wouldn't.

• 31:11Speaker 01

  Now, I did send him an anxious preoccupied bag, but that, I just, he just has a big following. It was nothing personal. And I'm hoping he doesn't use it, but we did have to send it because we are running a strong influencer programme.

• 31:23Speaker 02

  So I want to tell you some things about TikTok. Someone said that they would scroll their For You page and sell the videos to America for £70, so it feels like they're scrolling. I thought that was very clever.

• 31:35Speaker 01

  Imagine we didn't have TikTok. Imagine, what would we do? We'd probably read or something.

• 31:39Speaker 02

  Do you know what, guys? Do you know what? It's funny you should say that because I'm actually on my fourth book this January. Four, because I haven't done any TikToking. Four books.

• 31:49Speaker 01

  Go on.

• 31:49Speaker 02

  Do you want me to name, do you want me to name the books, Joe?

• 31:52Speaker 01

  Yeah. No, no, no one, no, no one didn't believe.

• 31:55Speaker 02

  Well, he, he, oh, didn't believe me there. He's like, oh, four books since January. Yeah, Joe, four books since January.

• 32:01Speaker 01

  Go on. Well, anyone can name books.

• 32:03Speaker 02

  Lucy Sullivan is getting married. A History of Loneliness, John Boyne. Fire, in fairness, it's a very small book by John Boyne. And now I'm on to a Lucy Stone book. Now, I'm only on my fourth book, so it'll be four, I mean.

• 32:18Speaker 01

  All right, James Joyce, calm down.

• 32:21Speaker 02

  If you'd like some tips or tricks on how to up your reading.

• 32:25Speaker 01

  It's like someone told Vogue at one stage, she can't read. And it's like this, every week it's like she's just proving she can read. Yes, I can. Yeah, she's like, I'm reading, I've read, I'm reading words in books, I'm reading full words.

• 32:38Speaker 02

  I'd love to join you, but I'm actually reading, so I can't make it down.

• 32:44Speaker 01

  I inhale books. I am an avid reader.

• 32:49Speaker 02

  John, you are on holidays, sitting on the beach. How many books have you read since you've been there?

• 32:54Speaker 01

  I've fannied around. I'm actually reading two at the moment. I'm half reading two books.

• 32:58Speaker 02

  She's sitting sunbathing, being like, I'm so bored because she's just sitting doing.

• 33:04Speaker 01

  The lads want, shut up. So I can't, I can't get any reading done. They're on my hinge and all.

• 33:11Speaker 02

  Have you gone on any dates over there? Well, I suppose you're spending all your time in gay bars. I mean, you're coming to the wrong places.

• 33:17Speaker 01

  If you ever, if you're, if you ever need a confidence boost, don't go to a gay bar. There could be a bin bag floating around in that place.

• 33:27Speaker 01

  I was like, the other night, I was like, why am I even putting mascara on? Like, no one gives a shit, John. No one cares about you here.

• 33:33Speaker 02

  Have they not taken, are you only allowed to straight places during the day and then gay bars at night?

• 33:38Speaker 01

  See, I just don't put up a fight because I'm, I'm lazy. You know what I mean? And I want, and I'm, and I'm so kind and caring and charitable that I want them to get the ride. I'm just like, come on, come on. My gaggle of gay men, I'm like, come on, come on, come on.

• 33:51Speaker 02

  Well, they're obviously not getting the ride if they're just watching porn privately at home. No one's doing very well, are you guys?

• 33:58Speaker 01

  If anything will stop one of us crying in the hallway, I think we've got an intruder. I'll bring you to the gay bars. Jesus. No dates yet, but I am still working on it and I am, have you, have you noticed? I'm upping my.

• 34:13Speaker 02

  I saw.

• 34:14Speaker 01

  Post a thirst trap.

• 34:15Speaker 02

  Oh, I loved your thirst trap, but you, where's it gone?

• 34:18Speaker 01

  And then I deleted it because I.

• 34:19Speaker 02

  Why?

• 34:20Speaker 01

  Because I just, because I'm, because I'm a fucking pussy.

• 34:25Speaker 01

  Have I taught you nothing?

• 34:27Speaker 02

  Have I taught you nothing?

• 34:28Speaker 01

  Well, you have, because I did. So basically Ross, like one of the lads, he posted this.

• 34:33Speaker 02

  It is there, it is there.

• 34:34Speaker 01

  No, yeah, yeah. I re- I reshared Ross, so I deleted it. And then Ross rang me and he's like, "Get your shit together."

• 34:42Speaker 02

  You deleted it and reposted. She's, she's gonna archive it now tomorrow.

• 34:48Speaker 01

  I bottled it, yeah. I was like, "Shawn, you fucking thirsty bitch, grow up." And then Ross was like, "You grow up." And then we shared it, grow up with each other for a while. And then he was like, "You're..." And then I reshared it. People are really nice, but someone wrote like, "Oh, this is too much." I was like, "Yeah, you're right, you're right." One person was like, "This is fucking too much." And I was like, "You're dead right, sorry."

• 35:07Speaker 02

  Excuse me, fuck off.

• 35:10Speaker 01

  I...

• 35:12Speaker 02

  I get that and I'm like, "Pardon?"

• 35:13Speaker 01

  What can I say? I, I, it doesn't come naturally to me. Trying to be sexy on the internet does not come naturally to me.

• 35:21Speaker 02

  I don't think it's about being sexy. You're away on holidays and that's the outfit that you're wearing. What are you gonna do? Like, like, when I get, if I get pictured on the beach, I see comments and it's like, "Oh, look at her showing off." I'm like, "Well, what am I supposed... What do you want me to wear on the beach?" Like, I'm sorry.

• 35:36Speaker 01

  A wetsuit. Yeah, yeah.

• 35:39Speaker 02

  Actually, that would be so funny to get it just...

• 35:42Speaker 01

  But you know what? You're being photographed by accident. Ross, like, basically chose that photo and fucking blasted it on the... He wanted to put a photo... Anyway, whatever. It doesn't come naturally to me, but I am trying because I think it's time to take a husband. And not, not legally, obviously, because I wouldn't, I wouldn't marry anyone, obviously, but... Ceremonially, it's time. I want, I've decided to take a man full-time.

• 36:07Speaker 02

  I think that you should. And I think that, like, I'm not being, I'm very proud of your progress, but if I had been in South Africa for the amount of time that you'd have been, my grid would have just been 15 bikini shots, okay? We've got like one and a half, one and a half out of you. It's not enough.

• 36:20Speaker 01

  You're better at it.

• 36:22Speaker 02

  Do you know what? Come on holidays with me, grab a child and just be like, "Oh, look at this candid shot." I've been caught in my bikini.

• 36:30Speaker 01

  The girls were like, oh, we've zoomed in because it's, you can, someone's like, Joanna, I can see your breakfast.

• 36:35Speaker 05

  It's, there's.

• 36:36Speaker 01

  There's a bit of, there's a bit of ghee there to be honest. Bit of ghee. But it's, well.

• 36:41Speaker 05

  I didn't see the ghee.

• 36:42Speaker 01

  And then I zoomed in, I was like, shit, because we were pissed, Ross, we were all pissed when Ross posted it. So I was like, jeez.

• 36:47Speaker 02

  Well, that's the top of your leg, that's not ghee.

• 36:50Speaker 01

  It's not, there's no, it's not, you can't see any form or shape or anything.

• 36:54Speaker 02

  There's no ghee at all.

• 37:05Speaker 02

  I saw this person post this video and oh my, I was like, there was just so much ghee.

• 37:13Speaker 01

  Hmm, he's a good thing, I must follow him.

• 37:20Speaker 02

  There was a man who got fired, right, because he posted a picture of his prosthetic dick online. So he was working for an Italian football team. He was a falconer called Juan Bernaby and he handled the Italian soccer teams, Bald Eagle, for 15 years. And he's fired because he posted photos and videos of his prosthetic penis.

• 37:40Speaker 01

  Sorry, I saw this story and in my holiday haze, I thought the eagle had accidentally posted the photos.

• 37:47Speaker 02

  No, so he posted, but it wasn't, his dick didn't fall off or anything. He just wanted, he basically got the, it wasn't for medical reasons, he just went and did it himself. But then I was thinking, I was like, what does that look like? Because you know if people have a prosthetic arm, like.

• 38:00Speaker 01

  Can we Google?

• 38:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, I put it in the doc, go look at it, it looks fantastic.

• 38:05Speaker 01

  I can understand why he'd want to post, but what's the point of getting it if you're not going to shout off? No?

• 38:11Speaker 02

  Well, I mean, I, I, I really. So do I, it looks great, but the only thing is, it's a bit weird that, like, you can't really.

• 38:20Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 38:23Speaker 03

  Unusual.

• 38:24Speaker 02

  I know.

• 38:25Speaker 01

  Oh wow. I mean.

• 38:29Speaker 02

  He is thrilled with himself.

• 38:31Speaker 01

  It's quite a vulnerable photo, I would say. Is he, what I would say happened, it's not, I mean, man, if you're going to show it off, I would dress the shot a bit better. For people who obviously can't see it because they're listening, he is in his hospital bed, bollock naked.

• 38:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:51Speaker 01

  Just lying there really, with some, a doctor maybe touching his shoulder. I'd get one, you know, if I was a lad.

• 38:57Speaker 02

  Can I just say, they never are that good. So if you're trying to get a dick extension, there's like a couple of millimetres in the difference. So basically they cut that, the string that makes your dick go up and down. So if you do want it to be extended slightly, they cut that and then you'll, when you get a boner, it will always point down, the dick won't go up. So he might have got like filler, because people get filler in their dick as well, but it's really hard to extend it much more than a couple of millimetres.

• 39:24Speaker 01

  I love when you teach us things. I love it. She's so wise.

• 39:27Speaker 02

  Back to your man getting fired, because I wanted to look at weird reasons people got fired.

• 39:31Speaker 01

  Amazing.

• 39:32Speaker 02

  This is why Joanne would get fired and I'm surprised she didn't from her hotel in Kildare. Look at this. A hotel worker fired for secretly living at the hotel.

• 39:44Speaker 01

  I love these stories. I still think about that Chinese guy living in your one's attic.

• 39:49Speaker 02

  Oh my God, yes. Okay. So a hotel receptionist got fired for secretly living in one of the hotel's room for over a month. He said it was fine because he was technically on site and ready to work at any time, but the management did not agree.

• 40:00Speaker 01

  That is hilarious. I don't see the problem with that.

• 40:04Speaker 02

  Well, do you know what, Joanne? What if everybody wanted to do that? There'd be no rooms left in the hotel.

• 40:10Speaker 01

  The way you slip into Sandra at times is alarming, I will say. It is alarming.

• 40:17Speaker 01

  It's like she's in the room with us.

• 40:20Speaker 02

  Do you know what's the weirdest thing about Sandra? She grew up a four minute drive from where I grew up and her and all the sisters are like, oh, oh no, we want, and I'm like, where, where did she get that accent?

• 40:32Speaker 01

  Where is the regional coming from? I remember once I was chatting to a lad and he was doing an impersonation of his mother and he gave her like a country accent. And then later on in the day, he revealed that his mother's actually Dutch. But he'd given her this Irish country accent that she did not in any way have. But it's just like, when you do your mother, your Irish mother, we just give them this generic Irish mother, kind of Midlands country accent.

• 40:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:56Speaker 02

  A guy fired his brother from a bakery for stealing baked goods.

• 41:00Speaker 01

  That's the fucking point of working in a bakery. What's wrong with these people?

• 41:02Speaker 02

  Well, he said he fired him for unauthorized snacking.

• 41:05Speaker 03

  Oh, come on.

• 41:06Speaker 02

  When I used to work in the summer shop.

• 41:08Speaker 01

  Unauthorized snacking.

• 41:11Speaker 02

  I used to work in the summer shop and I used to, um, there was obviously a 99 machine there. So I used to just like, little bit, little bit of 99 in the cup. And there was Penny Sweets and I'm sorry, Penny Sweets are for everyone.

• 41:22Speaker 03

  Victimless crime.

• 41:23Speaker 02

  Victimless.

• 41:23Speaker 01

  Victimless crime. Come on. I mean, the markup on 99s is insane. Anyway, like, I can imagine you with your mouth open, just like pulling the fucking lever, the cream down straight in. I support that.

• 41:36Speaker 02

  Exactly what I was saying. My friends used to come into the shop and I'd be like, they'd leave with about 10 99s on one 99. I'm like, watch how big I can make this. It'd actually be vomiting after it, every 99.

• 41:50Speaker 01

  I remember I worked in a petrol station when I was a kid. I worked, not, not a kid. I mean, it was legal. It was whatever, 15, 16. And we would absolutely fleece the place. You'd find us passed out from sugar in the fucking, in the, um, what do you call the room? The stock room, literally in a Malteser's coma. How they even made a profit, I have no idea. We'd smoke everything, we would drink everything, we'd eat everything. The pastries, we'd put them on in the morning, we'd horse them. And then we got stung because they sent one of these secret shopper in. And we're literally smoking behind the counter with our mouths. Yo, what do you want?

• 42:27Speaker 02

  Do I just go out to pump people's fuel with a smoke hanging out of our mouth here? How much do you want? A diesel or petrol?

• 42:35Speaker 01

  I'm not even messing. Yeah, we used to smoke on the forecourt. Like, do you know how fucking dangerous that is?

• 42:41Speaker 03

  Jesus Christ.

• 42:42Speaker 02

  No, we don't, Juman. Why is petrol flammable?

• 42:45Speaker 01

  It's fu— would you believe it's flammable? And that's where I got my love of the smell of petrol.

• 42:50Speaker 02

  Ah, everyone loves, and markers. Petrol, petrol and markers.

• 42:53Speaker 01

  Secret, on tip X, secret shopper came in and the person ahead of them was a maid of ours who we just gave like 60 mar or two for free and like a fucking pan of shakala. And we were like, yo, shakalator. And then everyone was fired.

• 43:09Speaker 01

  No regrets.

• 43:16Speaker 02

  Thank you so much, everyone, for listening. That was the main episode of My Therapist Gossip. We will see you next week.