Pod Insights My Therapist Ghosted Me TikTok Trolls, 'Queueing' & Feet About this episode The topics for discussion just keep coming this week... Joanne's PT sessions in Cape Town, a huge accusation flying around on TikTok, the queue for Bonnie, more cheating husbands (always), Vogue's dry January fail and whose rating is better on WikiFeet.
If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected]
Please review Global's Privacy Policy: global.com/legal/privacy-policy/
For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com
For more information about Joanne's gigs, visit: www.joannemcnally.com
This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.
Transcript 0:02 Speaker 00 This is a Global Player original podcast.
0:15 Speaker 01 Hello and welcome to My Therapist Goes With Me with me, BJ Williams and Joanne LeFondale.
0:21 Speaker 02 Thank you.
0:28 Speaker 01 There she is, there she is, looking great. I enjoyed your latest Instagram post.
0:33 Speaker 02 Thank you so much, a little half a thirst trap.
0:37 Speaker 01 I'm seeing enough for me.
0:38 Speaker 02 It was an accidental thirst trap. One of the lads just kind of captured me with a face mask on. But there is a bit of bosom there and I went, sure, we'll lash it up and see what happens.
0:48 Speaker 01 That's like my accidental one when I was just, I was just on the slopes in my swimsuit, like complete, you wouldn't believe it. I was just going out, like minding my own business to have.
0:58 Speaker 02 It was just a candid moment.
1:00 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:00 Speaker 02 Just a candid moment.
1:01 Speaker 01 Hang on, the mountains look right behind you, let me get the shot. And I was like, no, don't be silly.
1:06 Speaker 02 Don't be silly. I don't like that. It just so, it was only after I posted, I realised that both my nipples were incredibly erect.
1:14 Speaker 01 Yes. Then I was like, oh my God, stop, I'm in a swimsuit, I didn't even notice.
1:23 Speaker 02 Oh, well, you know, I still sometimes kind of check in on that, at that Instagram account. It's like irrelevant captions where there are girls or boys posting like really sexy photos and the most, like not even an attempt of a segue, like, do you know what I mean? It could be like pro world peace post or something just ludicrous. And it's just her ass, looking fantastic. I love it. I'm here for it. The more blatant, the better. The weaker the connection with the caption and the photo, the better as far as I'm concerned.
1:57 Speaker 01 I completely agree. I get a lot of fun out of it. I love that Instagram account, Influencers in the Wild. It's one of my favourite things to watch because people just don't give a shit. Like, and I think, do you know what? If you're standing in the middle of a packed airport and you've set yourself up a tripod, all power to you, fair play.
2:13 Speaker 02 Do you know what I'm always wondering about? Because yeah, the people who set up the phones so that they can be seen crying in airports, all that jazz.
2:21 Speaker 01 Oh, no.
2:21 Speaker 02 And again.
2:22 Speaker 01 I don't like crying.
2:23 Speaker 02 I was about to say, we don't judge, but we do judge that a little, we do judge that a little.
2:28 Speaker 01 The crimes are unbearable to me.
2:31 Speaker 02 Do you know?
2:32 Speaker 01 I did try one myself and then I realised how ugly I looked crying and I was like, it's not worth it. It's not worth it.
2:37 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that's that. If it's not fitting the hot plot, then we're not, we're not engaging.
2:42 Speaker 01 Too ugly.
2:43 Speaker 02 Do you know what, do you know what else I kind of judge and I shouldn't, but I do.
2:47 Speaker 01 Me.
2:47 Speaker 02 People who, people who post a story online, well, yes, for 24/7. When I take, the three minutes a day that I decide to not judge you and Jo, I, these are the people I judge. The people who post new content to their Instagram grid and then post it to their story, covering it with a new post.
3:07 Speaker 01 Caption. Oh no, like I always click into them. They know what they're doing and I'm like, oh, hang on, I can't miss this post. Where is it?
3:13 Speaker 02 But that's what I mean. It's like, is, is anyone's content like that interesting or that urgent? Or that we're all just sitting there frothing going, oh my God, what did Carol post to the grid? I don't know. I judge it a little bit. Sorry. Do you know what I mean?
3:27 Speaker 01 Like, I don't know. I just, I enjoy like any kind of food picture. Like I'll always watch your stories when they pop up. Cause I'm like, what's she doing with herself now? What has she done? What has she done?
3:38 Speaker 02 I'm very tame over here. Now, yeah, no, actually I'm not. Do you know what happened? The, it, it's, it's, it's exactly how I holiday at all times. I have the greatest of intentions at the start. I actually booked a personal trainer when I got here. How many times do you think I've seen him? How many times do you think I've seen Abigail?
3:55 Speaker 01 Twice, twice.
3:58 Speaker 02 Lower than that.
4:00 Speaker 01 Ones? How, how many days did you?
4:03 Speaker 02 Lower again.
4:04 Speaker 01 No.
4:04 Speaker 02 Not a single time. My two housemates have gone down to, sorry, Evelyn, not Abigail. My two housemates have gone down to train with Evelyn this morning. They've taken my spot.
4:14 Speaker 01 Haven't seen them. That wouldn't even tempt you.
4:16 Speaker 02 Well, I'm gonna get back on the, get back on it. I just, cause I do tend to lose my shit in holidays. I was trying to put some boundaries in place. You know the way, and sometimes if you do things, it's good for your health. Like, oh, okay. I'm in, that's, that's, I'm gonna do that for my body now over here. I'm not gonna just completely fuck it up and go home with a Chernobyl level nuclear liver. I was like, no, no, no, no. Let's keep a lid on things. But as I say, me and Evelyn have not yet crossed paths.
4:40 Speaker 01 Well, listen, do you know what? All I can say is, and I'll always have your back, you've, you've, you've made contact, which is more than most people will do. So you've made contact. And have you, you've rented a car, you're walking up and down to the beach every day with your little wine in your hand, and that's fine. Balance.
4:54 Speaker 02 I have, I have reached out to a personal trainer. I mean, what more can I do?
5:00 Speaker 01 Well, you know what?
5:01 Speaker 02 What more can I do? I'm not gonna go.
5:04 Speaker 01 You could have done your, your Flexi Fit app. You could have done the challenge. All you had to do was bring a few bands down there with you, but you chose not to, but that's okay. Off you pop to Evelyn.
5:12 Speaker 02 Sorry, do you think I don't have bands on every countertop here? There's a kettlebell somewhere as well.
5:18 Speaker 01 She went to Decathlon on her first day before she started drinking and was like, right, what do I need?
5:24 Speaker 02 You'd swear I was training for an Ironman with all the fucking gym equipment I have with me. Haven't lifted a thing. But that's holidays, isn't it?
5:32 Speaker 01 Oh, well, no, no, that's not, that's not my holidays. That's not my holidays. I know that everyone, everyone thinks I'm a loser because of it, but like, I don't judge other people for the way they holiday. And I just, that's what I enjoy. Like, someone was like, my therapist actually was like, so what do you do for yourself? And I was like, I love going for runs and I love guns. And he's like, even he was judging me. He was like, yeah, but like, what, what do you do for fun? I was like, excuse me. That is fun. To me, what are you talking about?
5:58 Speaker 02 You list out your entire lifestyle, your day to day. And he's like, but what about fun? You're like, I'm actually having a great time. Like, but you really enjoy fitness. And do you know what as well? I think you have actually been a really good influence on me when it comes to fitness. I really think you've rubbed off on me in that way. Yeah, I do. I could do it now.
6:20 Speaker 01 You've rubbed off on me on sorting my face out. I'm currently sitting here with a sandpaper face because I went in to see her face in my face. Yes. I'm always like, what's she done? Why does she look like that? And I don't. I'm having a problem, guys.
6:33 Speaker 02 Okay, go, hit me.
6:36 Speaker 01 Do you know the way we've been talking about the internet being mean in January? Like, mean, it's getting me particularly badly, I have to say, this January. Well, now, I am being blamed for something I didn't do. So there's this TikTok of a girl on a Wizz Air flight. I've no problem with Wizz Air. I have no problem, but I haven't flown Wizz Air in about six years. And so there's a woman sitting there and she's just recording herself. And like, she's recording, and then a woman beside her goes, please stop recording me. And she's like, I'm not recording you. And she's like, please stop recording me? Like, I'm famous, I don't want to be recorded. And then your one claps back and she's like, okay, sir. Because your one sounds a bit lowkey, like us. And your one goes, I'm a miss, please stop, I don't want anyone to know that I'm here. And your one's like, I'm not recording you.
7:20 Speaker 01 Now everyone has decided it's me. And so I, I went onto my TikTok and Bryley, the girl who looks after my TikTok was like, I was talking to Amber about this as well the other day. And Bryley, who looks after my TikTok was like, uh, she's like, I don't really understand what's happening here. Hundreds and hundreds of comments being like, oh, what, you're such a great dad, sir, on a video of me in auto. And they'll be like, look at the state of this, she's only got 5,000 likes and she thinks she's too famous to be filmed. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on? I have been put in the search bar of this video, so everybody thinks it's me. And everyone is now attacking me and slapping me, saying I'm a bloke and like, well done dad. And like, how shit I am. And that like, your kids are going to be so embarrassed of you when you're older.
8:05 Speaker 01 And I'm like, people had sent it to me, uh, saying, oh, haha, people think it's Vogue. I assumed that was just like a joke. I didn't think you were actually being accused of it. Oh my God, as if Vogue Williams is going to fly Wizz Air, come on.
8:20 Speaker 01 I mean, that's the first flaw. I'm not going to want to be filmed, hello? I fucking love people filming me.
8:26 Speaker 02 Exactly, you'd be like, you'd be like, I'm sorry, are you not filming me? Are you not filming me?
8:33 Speaker 02 So I stopped.
8:34 Speaker 01 You don't seem to be pointing your camera.
8:35 Speaker 02 Yeah.
8:35 Speaker 01 Yeah.
8:36 Speaker 02 I'm sorry, have I done something to offend you? You don't seem to be filming me.
8:40 Speaker 01 Do you know what I actually think it is? It's that one, I think it's the woman on the plane and her friend actually just did it to try and make something go viral. I don't actually think it happened.
8:51 Speaker 02 Ah, it's a rage bait. Is that what they call it?
8:55 Speaker 01 Oh, is that what they call it?
8:56 Speaker 02 I think they call it rage bait, yes. Because we are people, human beings are at our most interactive online when we're pissed off, apparently. So I think that's what they do. Yeah, it's rage bait. But listen, look, we just have to clear it up. It's not Vogue.
9:10 Speaker 01 It's not me, God.
9:12 Speaker 02 Vogue, you have to look like this. It's a bit of exposure for you, which means a bit of exposure for the pod. This means me and Jared, it's me and Jared thrilled.
9:19 Speaker 01 I wouldn't mind.
9:20 Speaker 02 You take that rage. You take it.
9:23 Speaker 01 Every single video.
9:24 Speaker 02 Release a statement. Release a statement.
9:27 Speaker 01 I did, I had to put a video, put every other video of mine underneath. It's like, oh, hi, sir. Oh, who's this fucking loser? Every, my TikToks ruined. I know, it's not fair.
9:37 Speaker 02 Oh, my God.
9:40 Speaker 01 I just think that like now anyone can do anything they want to people and it doesn't really matter like that. People just decided that was me, so now everyone's attacking me. And then like a couple of years ago, when like people were trying to be awful again and send some ridiculous voice notes. And it just, there's nothing you can do about it. You just have to let it go. And it's like, the internet is so like, can people not just like, if you want to be a troll? I said this on a video, like, can you not like just learn a language or something? Like you could learn a language with the amount of time you spend trolling somebody. I could learn a language with all the scrolling I do in fairness, but you know. We're not talking about me.
10:16 Speaker 02 That's about, that's one of those, do you know when you're, when you're hungry as a kid and your mum's like, have an apple? That's one of those, he's like, instead of trolling, download Duolingo. You're like, no, no, no, no, I'm here to troll, okay? I'm here to express. I'm here to rant and get my ill will out on other people. I don't want to learn a language. I mean, Jesus Christ, some of them would be fluent in Latin if they did that. There's a lot of trolling going on in January, right? Yeah.
10:40 Speaker 01 January's the bad month for us.
10:42 Speaker 02 This is how you look at it. This could get you on Jon Ronson. He deals with the, he deals with a lot of celebrities in cancel culture and stuff. So if this keeps going, you might meet Jon Ronson or Louis Theroux.
10:53 Speaker 01 Oh, I'd like to meet Louis Theroux especially. So actually go on, cancel him. It was me, I was the one on the plane.
10:58 Speaker 02 It was you.
10:58 Speaker 01 I always fly with Eric, got like a voucher for Christmas.
11:02 Speaker 02 With her overnight oats. What's her doing her kegels?
11:05 Speaker 01 I had overnight oats this morning. I'm doing this thing for, for Lorraine where you have to eat. You can't eat ultra processed food for two days. But like, that means no special K for breakfast. You can't have any crisps, no chocolates, because no one's going to eat that raw crap. And like, no, you can't eat anything.
11:22 Speaker 02 Have you seen the people on Instagram now? They're incredibly infuriating to watch. The way they speak, they kind of put on this like real gentle voice and like, in the morning, I eat.
11:35 Speaker 01 I love her.
11:35 Speaker 02 Milk. I know you're, there's loads of them now, it's not just her. The trad mums.
11:41 Speaker 01 Yeah, I loved, I love that kind of thing.
11:44 Speaker 02 I drink raw milk and I eat raw bison. Is a bison a cow or something? They're just eating raw meat and drinking raw milk. It's gross. And I'm like, are they actually doing that? Or is that just, are they taking the piss out of us?
11:59 Speaker 01 Some people actually do. Remember Heidi Montag was going around with like a raw liver in a plastic Ziploc bag and chewing on it? Walking around LA like, God.
12:10 Speaker 02 Yes, I do remember that actually.
12:13 Speaker 01 Imagine the stench of her, just like old meat.
12:28 Speaker 02 Joanna's just ripping the whole house.
12:33 Speaker 01 She's out, girl. Did you just knock a wall through?
12:43 Speaker 02 Come here, can we talk for a second about Bonnie Blue?
12:46 Speaker 01 Monkey videos.
12:47 Speaker 02 Well, she's doing OnlyFans, so she's basically a sex worker and she's kind of, but the way that it's so saturated now that they have, they have to do all this mad shit to really kind of stick out. But she's made like millions of pounds and all that. And she's thrilled with herself and her family are in support and all that. So like, whatever about her and what she's doing, because like, I, some of it, I think, so there's a, I'm torn. There's a part of me that's like, oh, get your, you know, get your cash to your thing. And if it's not the. expensive riding these lads, why not? There's another part, I was like, oh, I feel like this is a bit like setting us back. And I'm like, but am I setting us back? Anyway, the weirdest part about the whole thing for me is the men queuing up to ride her. So she rides.
13:24 Speaker 01 Bizarre.
13:25 Speaker 02 Men, she rides men in bulk numbers, okay? And then like one video I saw after, yeah, and they, and Joe, they queue up like now.
13:33 Speaker 01 Summer father and son queuing up.
13:36 Speaker 03 Father and son. Literally, literally, there's a queue.
13:38 Speaker 02 A queue. And they get like four minutes or seven minutes or whatever. But the weirdest thing about the whole thing for me is they fill them the queue, right? These lads, they're, they're not even hiding there. They're, some of them, they're not even wearing baseball caps. There isn't a fake nose to be seen. They're brazenly just standing there like they're queuing for Oasis tickets. And they're all going to ride the same woman.
14:02 Speaker 01 It's so, it's, to be honest with you, like I, I obviously have mixed feelings as well because I feel like women should be allowed to do what they want. It's your own body, your own choice. But like, I am concerned by like the Andrew Tate business of the world. And it feels like it's in that seedy part of the world, which is quite worrying for the younger generation to think that people like that are okay. And like that that's okay. It's like, it's not like, no, it just, it makes me feel icky.
14:30 Speaker 02 Yeah, I don't know. I, I, like I say, I have mixed feelings on the whole thing. It was more just the lads. That was the, that was what I found where I'd no mixed feelings on it. I was just like, oh, I understand my feelings on this immediately. And I just can't believe how brazen they are. Joe, would you queue with your face?
14:49 Speaker 01 Of course he would.
14:51 Speaker 02 With, with a load of other lads, you don't know. What are the, what a guy was, I'm pretty sure he was doing a crossword in a newspaper while he was waiting.
14:59 Speaker 01 Can I tell you?
15:01 Speaker 02 Utterly bizarre. And she, and then she's posting them all.
15:04 Speaker 01 Basically, she has a rule that like for it to be a sexual encounter, they all have to finish. But then if one guy is going in and then the other guy is going in after, it's all mixing all together. And then what about Mr. 100? Like, it's like, imagine sharing a bath with someone, right? And you're like the fifth person to get in the bath. It's like, then you're just, you're just like washing in dirt.
15:26 Speaker 03 Surely they're wearing hats.
15:27 Speaker 02 Ah, yeah, Jesus.
15:29 Speaker 01 I don't care if you were wearing a fucking 10 hat, you're still getting other people's business all up on your grill.
15:38 Speaker 02 I would say she's quite professional. I would say there's a kind of a hygiene system and I'd say it's all very technical, I would say. But you know, I, there was, there's another girl who's kind of mimicking her a little bit and she's, she wrote 100 lads in a day. They're all trying to break some record, I think is what they're doing. She wrote 100 lads in a day. And you know what the hilarious thing was? She then spoke about the fact that she had to go home and finish herself off because.
16:04 Speaker 02 A hundred of them couldn't do it to her. A hundred in a row. And she had to go, and like we said, you want a job done, do it yourself. She had to go home and finish herself off after that day. Who comes in four minutes if you don't know them? Do you know what I mean? It's an impossible task, but still.
16:18 Speaker 01 It's a quick in and outy, in and outy job. And I think that like, because that would be work to them. Like it's not, Bonnie Blue is not looking at that as having like a positive sexual experience where she's gonna have a great time. I think it's more like a job.
16:32 Speaker 02 It's a numbers game. And Bonnie Blue, one of the videos when she, after her.
16:37 Speaker 01 I need to see that video.
16:39 Speaker 02 Many encounters, when she was breaking some records, was she kind of went, she did a video straight after. And she was like, I'm sorry, I, my eyes, she said, there's a lot of body fluid on my face, a lot of my eyes. She, her eyes were like red and full of semen, basically.
16:56 Speaker 01 Oh, God.
16:57 Speaker 02 I just wonder how you get there. That's all. Don't know how you get there. But I, but in another way, I might get it. I don't know. I don't know how I feel about it.
17:06 Speaker 01 I don't wanna be a jizz all over my face. Sorry. I'm sorry. I just, my eyes crossing over from jizz fest.
17:14 Speaker 02 Well, listen, I mean, it's a thing. Whatever you do in the pride of your own home, grand, I just think. Best of luck to our Joe, best of luck. But, but, but the lads, I mean, come on.
17:25 Speaker 01 Card for you, you fucking.
17:27 Speaker 02 Sunglasses, something. God, sunglasses, Joe. Baseball cap.
17:33 Speaker 01 No one said you couldn't wear a mask. Shave your head, do something.
17:37 Speaker 02 Something. Yeah, move country.
17:44 Speaker 01 Joanne, I've got some news for you. I don't know, I don't know. It doesn't really feel like it's up your street, but it's definitely up my street, so I'm just assuming it would be up your street.
17:53 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm.
17:54 Speaker 01 Austin, Austin Butler's single. I'm just saying, he's thirty-two. Austin Butler.
17:58 Speaker 02 Who's Austin Butler?
17:59 Speaker 01 Oh, Elvis. Elvis, yeah, right. Really tall, really tall.
18:05 Speaker 02 Austin Butler. Now, let's get this, let me get my information correct.
18:10 Speaker 01 You said the other lads were too old and not for you. And I just thought to myself, Austin Bu- I saw it in the Daily Mail, I said, and I was like, now there's one.
18:17 Speaker 02 According to my sources, which is basically the entire internet, Austin Butler and Vanessa Hudgens dated for almost nine years, from twenty-eleven to twenty-twenty. They were first linked in September, blah, blah, blah. But there was a photo going around of Vanessa Hudgens meeting Kaia Gerber, when Kaia Gerber was like a really young child, and Vanessa's like shaking her hat, and you know, Kaia Gerber is like trying to get her for autograph or something. And then Vanessa and Austin break up, and then who does Austin end up going with?
18:48 Speaker 01 Kaia.
18:50 Speaker 02 Kaia Gerber.
18:51 Speaker 01 I tell you what, I would, there's some people I would not like my ex to go out with, and she would be one of them. You'd be like, oh, oh god, there's nothing to slag her about.
19:00 Speaker 02 You're like, you're going out with that child that got my autograph ten years ago. Oh, okay. Good luck.
19:08 Speaker 01 Well, I've heard she has a really bad personality. So there, that's the only thing you can say. You can only go in on her personality, you know nothing about it.
19:14 Speaker 02 She's got bad morals, that's what I heard. She doesn't donate to any dog shelters, bitch.
19:20 Speaker 01 Bit smelly, bit smelly.
19:22 Speaker 02 She, um, she, yeah, I was just like, that's a real kick in the stones. I, if I was Vanessa, I would not be happy about that. But there you go. Everyone's free to move forward on their journey. Anyway, Kaya and him have now broken up. But yeah, I could get him.
19:35 Speaker 01 For Joanne, you could use it. Joanne wanted him.
19:38 Speaker 02 I could lure him in, you know?
19:40 Speaker 01 Get back on Raya. No.
19:43 Speaker 02 Back on Raya. Uh, speaking of Raya, I presume you've both read the story about Lily Allen finding out her husband was cheating on her. She set up a fake profile and found him on Raya. Sorry, again, again, brazen. They're, he's the same as the lads queuing up for Bonnie Blue. She fucking found her husband on Raya. Does he not think people are gonna say that he's on Raya? Like, it's, it's clearly him.
20:05 Speaker 01 I know, but this is my thing about it. I don't think that we know the full story behind that part of it. Because you just don't know when they broke up, when he thought he broke up.
20:14 Speaker 02 Not a clue.
20:15 Speaker 01 No.
20:15 Speaker 02 But you know me, I'll always go, I'm, I'm Team Lily immediately. I don't even need the information. I'm just like.
20:20 Speaker 01 Oh God, I feel so bad for her though. You know, when you can see that's like, you can literally see how heartbroken she is. And I think it's actually really, really sad. I've just seen, she's just checked herself in somewhere for a little while, which is, which is actually a really good thing to do, to be able to take time away. But like, fucking hell, that's, there's no, there's literally nothing worse.
20:39 Speaker 02 Oh, I know. I've never been married. I don't know what that is like, but I have been heartbroken and I have been cheated on. And it is, is it? Yeah, maybe it is. I don't know. Yeah.
20:50 Speaker 01 It is, yeah.
20:50 Speaker 02 Yeah, I'm divorced. Right.
20:54 Speaker 02 I'm a divorced man, finally.
20:55 Speaker 01 No, Joanne, that's my thing. No, you're having my thing.
20:59 Speaker 02 I want something interesting. I really feel at this age, I should be divorced at this stage. It's kind of embarrassing that I'm not. But anyway, it's the worst feeling in the world and you can see it in her and she looks so sad and oh God, I just really feel for, yeah. But then, like, I love lads. I know we're always slagging them off. We love them really. I don't mean joke. That's why we have Joe here for diversity.
21:18 Speaker 01 We do, we do.
21:20 Speaker 02 But it, they, they, sometimes they really, they really shock you. And like, that's a very, that's a very public thing to go through as well. Like she can't even just slyly say, oh, we're, you know, it was all amicable, we've gone our separate ways. Like, he's on a public celebrity dating app. What's wrong with these men?
21:37 Speaker 01 Yeah, but also she's, she's talking about it on the podcast as well. So I think that she's also bringing it up for.
21:42 Speaker 02 Oh, is she?
21:44 Speaker 01 Yeah, so there's like.
21:46 Speaker 02 I need to catch up on that pod.
21:48 Speaker 01 Yeah, but one thing that I would say is that it, um, I think that the great thing about having a pod is that it, you're able to say your own piece and how it actually is and what is actually happening instead of other people just like deciding it for you, which the press would do anyway.
22:02 Speaker 02 It's also great to be able to turn people on your cheating husband. She's ratting him out. Good for her. I thought she'd been ratting him out, but she's ratting him out. She's ratting him out. Yeah, fair play.
22:21 Speaker 02 I don't know. I don't know much today, do I? No strong feelings about anything really, except the men in the queue. What do you think, Joe? Doesn't matter what you think. Keep going.
22:33 Speaker 01 I went to, uh, I broke, I broke Dry January. I'm just gonna be honest about it because I feel like it will come out somewhere or another.
22:42 Speaker 02 Jeez, I forgot that was the, I forgot you were, I totally forgot you were doing that.
22:47 Speaker 01 Yeah, I know. And it's only the 14th. I mean, it's kind of pathetic. Now, in my defence, I was invited to a child's party at the Dorchester Hotel. I mean, of course, of course I was going for that one.
22:57 Speaker 02 I'd be shitfaced before I even went. I'd be shitfaced before I even went to that thing if I had to go.
23:00 Speaker 01 And they were, no, it was a great party. And they were going around, they had like lots of nice food for the adults, which isn't always the case. And they were serving verve champagne. And I thought, if that was Prosecco now, I could have held back. I could have held back.
23:14 Speaker 02 Was this Harper Beckham's birthday party? He's serving champagne at a children's party?
23:19 Speaker 01 There's booze at all. I was thinking for T's next birthday, fuck it, I'm getting a bar man. Like, that's what all the parents want. You need to have a good party. This party has to be good.
23:27 Speaker 02 Please do that and I'll go. I will finally attend the children's parties if you, if you put a bar in. Yeah, come on.
23:34 Speaker 01 But anyway, I went, I went and I had four champagnes. And like, that was, that was it. I did go home and have tea and I said, I'm not gonna really kick the bollocks out of myself. But do you know what T did? I was saying goodbye to one of the parents, one of the dads. And I was like, okay, see you later. Like, because we all have known each other for like two years now. And we'd all be quite friendly. And T's like, she's not single. And I was like, what the fuck did he just say? My mum's married, she's not single. And I was like, how does he even know what single means?
24:02 Speaker 02 That is hilarious. This very much sounds like the work of Spencer Matthews. He has had that child in training, like some sort of army camp where he's like, if any man approached mama. Shoot them.
24:14 Speaker 01 You get, yeah, get, kick them, kick them.
24:17 Speaker 02 Yeah, Theodore whips out some, whips out a thing of pepper spray and just like blasts your man in the face.
24:22 Speaker 01 Oh my god, I did think it was.
24:24 Speaker 02 This is what I've been waiting for. This is what I've been training for all this time. Isn't it funny though?
24:29 Speaker 01 For god's sake.
24:31 Speaker 02 I remember when I was a child, my dad, I was in the back of the car and my dad collected his female colleague to give her a lift into the office one day. I don't know where, I don't know, she, I think her car was broken down or something, I don't know. And even I remember having really strong feelings in the back of the car about being really kind of territorial about my dad and being really kind of protective of my mum and really very much hating on this woman in the front of the car. And I was very young, very young.
24:58 Speaker 01 It's quite sweet.
25:00 Speaker 02 I think I might have been in a car seat. Like, that's how young I was.
25:04 Speaker 01 John fucking throwing her yogurt at your one.
25:09 Speaker 02 Who's this whore? Do you know what I mean? Like, what a weird, so I'm not kind of surprised that Theodore had the same. There's something obviously inherent in us that we, I don't know.
25:21 Speaker 01 When my parents broke up, like, my mum was allowed to go out with Neil, but then my dad used to try and bring, like, women on. I'd be like, who the fuck? Like, we'd go mental. And there was this one called June that he used to see quite regularly. And like, she'd drive over, and I remember once her car wheel, like, banged the curb. And me and Amber literally stood there, pointed at her and were screaming, laughing. Like, we were terrible to her. We just, my dad wasn't allowed to have a girlfriend. Like, my mum was, that's fine, she can have a boyfriend. But he was not allowed to have a girlfriend.
25:50 Speaker 02 Yeah. It's, we're, we're, our female instinct is kicking in. We're protecting the tribe, you know? Yeah. It's called girl code, as we smash a yogurt into another woman's face. No, not really. Girl code is confusing then, isn't it?
26:07 Speaker 02 What does it actually mean? Yeah.
26:11 Speaker 01 Do you know what story just randomly popped into my head there? The person throwing a banana at you, Anne.
26:19 Speaker 02 He said top of the morning to you in a really twee, offensive way.
26:23 Speaker 01 A banana.
26:24 Speaker 02 Wasn't that him? Wasn't that it then? And then he threw a banana at me, yeah. And it was, it felt like it was very anti-Irish, very anti-Irish. I was only in London a short space of time. I thought I was going to be living in a hell over there. But yeah, I mean, if that's the worst anti-Irish interaction I have in my life, it's probably not that bad.
26:42 Speaker 01 I think you're all right.
26:45 Speaker 01 You got away with it.
26:47 Speaker 02 Do you remember Rachel Dorzel, the woman who pretended she was black, but she was actually white? Do you remember her? Yeah, it was a wild story. There's a documentary about it somewhere. It's fascinating.
27:00 Speaker 01 Well, it was like Alec Baldwin's, Hilario Baldwin, who pretends to be Spanish. She's back at it, by the way. She's broken.
27:06 Speaker 02 She's not.
27:07 Speaker 01 She's back at it. The Spanish accent is back out. Cucumber.
27:11 Speaker 02 It's not back.
27:12 Speaker 01 It is. She's back. Alec Baldwin's wife got stung because everyone was like, you're not even Spanish. And she was literally like pretending she didn't know the word for cucumber and calling it cucumber. And now she's back doing it. She kind of got cancelled because of the lies.
27:27 Speaker 02 I cannot get my head around that. So she's doing it again after everything that happened.
27:31 Speaker 01 Well, Anne, you're doing, you're doing South African now, to be fair. So, I mean.
27:36 Speaker 02 She's not well. She's not well. Like, that's, that's not, that's not right. I mean, it was not, it was weird at the start. It was weird the first time, but like to do it again.
27:48 Speaker 01 Who's the other one, though? Who's this other one? Rachel? I haven't heard of her.
27:51 Speaker 02 She even became an instructor in Africana Studies at Eastern Washington University, where she was removed from. Yeah.
28:00 Speaker 01 That's like really bad problems, though. I wondered, did she have any imposter syndrome at any stage during that? Or she just really took to the role?
28:09 Speaker 02 She was just like, I just really love the black community and culture and I just kind of really wanted to be part of it. And everyone's like, um, okay, that's not how you go about that.
28:19 Speaker 01 You can't just claim to be a certain culture if you're not.
28:23 Speaker 02 She even changed her name. Rachel Anne Dolezal, I'm probably not pronouncing that correct, is an American former college instructor and activist known for presenting herself as a black woman despite being born to two white parents. She is also a former National Association for the Advancement of Coloured People chapter president. Like, because she changed her entire look, she changed her hair. She says, "I never said I was black. I just, you just thought I was and I just didn't correct you." Okay, Rachel, okay.
28:54 Speaker 01 Well, in fairness, if she didn't say she was, it's not like Hilaria literally going around pretending she doesn't know the English language.
29:00 Speaker 02 I mean, I don't think either are great now, to be honest. But Rachel was also posting a line about the fact that she was the victim of racist crimes, right? Because of her colour, which wasn't her colour. But one of them was she was posting photos of people leaving bananas on her cars. And she was actually posting it to Instagram, saying that this was her racist hate crime against her, and she wasn't even black. Like, the whole thing was insane, insane.
29:28 Speaker 01 My god.
29:34 Speaker 01 I saw Angela Scanlon posting this thing about a podcast she was on, and she was like, "Oh, here's a weird fact about me. I have a five-star rating on my feet, on WikiFeet." And I didn't even know there was a thing called WikiFeet. Obviously, I was straight on.
29:49 Speaker 02 Neither did I.
29:50 Speaker 01 Tap, tap, tap. Yeah.
29:50 Speaker 02 Neither did I know anything about WikiFeet.
29:53 Speaker 01 Well, I'm not using the podcast to show off, but it says that I also have a five-star rating on my feet. And there are a lot of pictures accompanying it. And my feet don't look that great in the pictures, but other people seem to think that they're five, they're five-star feet. It does say that I'm an eight US, which would make me a six UK, which isn't true, but I'll take it because one of my feet is a size six, the other one is a size seven.
30:17 Speaker 02 Oh, wow.
30:18 Speaker 01 Now, here's the bad news.
30:20 Speaker 02 That does explain a lot, actually. Did you know that one of her feet were different sizes?
30:24 Speaker 01 Everyone's feet are slightly different. Mine is just an entire size. So one shoe's like, one shoe's hanging off and the other one fits perfectly.
30:31 Speaker 02 Wow, I didn't know that.
30:34 Speaker 01 I'll show you. It looks really rotten in real life.
30:36 Speaker 02 What a little weirdo you are. I love it.
30:39 Speaker 01 Joe, cut that out. I don't want to ruin my rating. Joanne, your rating.
30:44 Speaker 02 Oh, I'm on it as well.
30:45 Speaker 01 Oh, of course, you are. Lots of shots of the old feet.
30:48 Speaker 02 I'm thrilled.
30:48 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
30:49 Speaker 02 Delighted to be involved. Delighted. Go on. What's my rating?
30:51 Speaker 01 The sand, now, I think the sandals might have dragged you down. There's a couple of shots of the sandals, right, from back in the day. You've only got a four star rating. Sorry. Your four star less than mine. I know, I know, it's not great, Joanne. It's not great. I'm sorry to drop this on you on your holidays where you're wearing a lot of flip flops.
31:10 Speaker 02 What is this website called, please?
31:12 Speaker 03 Joanne, you have thirty five votes in total. Fourteen beautiful, eight nice, ten okay, two bad, and one vote for ugly.
31:21 Speaker 02 Oh, my God, Jo, I wasn't gonna go in that deep.
31:25 Speaker 03 Well, we've gotta, we've gotta tell the truth.
31:27 Speaker 02 Ugly?
31:29 Speaker 03 Yeah.
31:31 Speaker 02 Are these anonymous people, or can I see who these people are?
31:35 Speaker 01 There she is, waltzing around in flip flops on her holidays.
31:38 Speaker 02 Oh, my God, this is worse than when everyone thought I was blind.
31:44 Speaker 02 Remember when everyone thought I was blind? And the most searched thing for a week or something was, is Joanne, why is Joanne McNally blind? What, they're obviously not using that. If I knew this was happening, I would have sent in my own photos.
31:56 Speaker 01 Four hundred and sixty four beautiful for me.
31:59 Speaker 02 This is like when the press use bad photos, when you're like, I've given you the professional shots. Why are you using that shit photo?
32:08 Speaker 01 You wanna see some of the ones of mine, though, in fairness, like the claws, but like, I still, I'm sorry, I still have a five star rating. Even with the odd sized feet, still a five star rating. That's what you're missing. You need to have different sized feet.
32:19 Speaker 03 So, carry on your votes, because you stopped at nice now. Come on.
32:23 Speaker 01 Okay, ninety four nice. Listen, I'd like to point out the four hundred and sixty four beautiful, by the way, compared to Joanne's four.
32:30 Speaker 02 Wow.
32:30 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah. Forty six okay, twelve bad, eight ugly.
32:34 Speaker 02 But you've a lot more votes than me. So you've four hundred and sixty four beautiful. How many beautiful did I have, Jo?
32:40 Speaker 03 I mean, there's a lot, there's many few of them.
32:42 Speaker 02 Fourteen!
32:43 Speaker 03 Fourteen beautiful.
32:44 Speaker 02 And she's four hundred and sixty four!
32:46 Speaker 01 I've heard a lot of stuff about my feet, to be honest with you, okay? Don't take it away from me. They're like boats and I'm happy.
32:53 Speaker 02 You're a bit of a slag. You get your feet out a lot more than I do, you know, and that's why this is happening. Cover up.
33:01 Speaker 01 My feet have been putting on a busty display a lot.
33:10 Speaker 02 Vogue Williams puts on a toad display again.
33:14 Speaker 01 Oh god.
33:16 Speaker 02 Sorry, now that I know this is a thing, I will respond accordingly.
33:20 Speaker 01 I'm getting a pedicure this evening, thank you very much.
33:22 Speaker 02 I got a pedicure yesterday, I wasn't planning on showing it off, but I certainly will now.
33:26 Speaker 01 If I was you, I'd be posting a couple of vids there on the Insta, because that's a bit embarrassing now for you, to be honest. It's not great, it's not great.
33:32 Speaker 02 Who else is on there? Who else?
33:34 Speaker 01 Vanessa Feltz, only got a three and a half, not great.
33:37 Speaker 02 Oh Vanessa, no.
33:40 Speaker 01 Not good. Katie Price got a four and a half. And Lily Allen, Lily Allen, this'll cheer her up, five stars, but she does do OnlyFans for her feet. Maybe I should be doing OnlyFans for my feet.
33:53 Speaker 02 I would love to know the actual money in your feet photos. Everyone, it's always the kind of the butt of the joke, it's like, oh, if you run out of money, I want to just sell your feet, sell your feet, blah, blah, blah. I'd love to know the actual money in it, can we find out? I assume people have a different rating, like Cameo, like for example, you'd be able to charge more for your feet than say I or Jo would. But I wouldn't say, I don't know, I think it's like that.
34:16 Speaker 01 I just start stressing my feet up like in bondage gear and stuff and popping them on OnlyFans. The only thing about OnlyFans is people lie about their OnlyFans all the time, so like remember Black China was like, ooh, I earn 12 million dollars a month? And then she was earning like something like 26,000 dollars a month from OnlyFans, which is still massive, but it's not 12 million dollars, so everyone lies about it.
34:34 Speaker 02 Yeah, she was, yeah, she was fudging things, she was showing off a little bit. What do you reckon, Jo? Like is it a tenner a toe? Is it 20 quid a foot? Is it a grand? Like I really have no idea.
34:44 Speaker 03 OnlyFans only has several foot models who earn more than a thousand dollars a month, so you have to be putting out some pretty.
34:51 Speaker 01 Well, I'd be having my feet kissing each other and stuff like that, so my, my content would be gorgeous.
34:56 Speaker 02 Yeah, a little gift mask on the baby toe, nice.
34:59 Speaker 01 Hundred percent.
35:01 Speaker 02 Yeah, something sexy.
35:04 Speaker 01 They'd be in the water, I'd be splashing them around, little flipper on them sometimes.
35:09 Speaker 02 I guess, I guess that's actually what you have to do, you have to kind of like dip them in porridge and stuff. You probably have to do different things with them rather than just bang up a photo of your feet, would that be correct?
35:19 Speaker 01 Just start stirring your soup, stirring your soup at your foot, ooh, scrambled eggs with the toes.
35:25 Speaker 02 This is great information.
35:27 Speaker 01 Great, I can see you actually.
35:43 Speaker 02 I just can't believe Flaria is doing it again. I just can't get over it.
35:45 Speaker 01 I know.
35:47 Speaker 02 That's my afternoon. Gone now. I'm gonna have to look into this. All day.
35:55 Speaker 02 Do you know who's back?
35:57 Speaker 01 Who?
35:58 Speaker 02 Do you remember that Brazilian woman who married the rag doll?
36:02 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah. I just, those things really kind of freak me out.
36:05 Speaker 02 She's been in and out of the news ever since she married this lad. It's...
36:09 Speaker 01 The rag doll, yeah. Now he was a looker.
36:12 Speaker 02 He is actually quite hot, but it is an incredibly toxic relationship from what I can gather. He has cheated in the past. She's always, she's always, when he cheats, she always goes public with the cheating. Then there was an issue where her baby rag doll was kidnapped and held to ransom. I think she was trying to get us to pay to have the baby rag doll released. And she says that her pain was actually compounded when she was down at the police station and they were laughing in her face about her son's disappearance. Right? I think her mother made her the rag doll originally, and I'd say at this stage, she's like, well, that was a huge mistake.
36:52 Speaker 01 Well, I'd say she was all over the mother like a rash, and that's why the mother was like, I've gotta do something to get her off my back.
36:58 Speaker 02 Yeah. There's photos of her just post-birth with the baby rag doll. Anyway, her husband, he's after cheating again. And at this stage, I'm like, leave him or don't. Do you know what I mean? These are your choices if you're going to stay.
37:11 Speaker 01 Did he not learn his lesson the first time? I mean, she gave me real bollocking about that, and he went and did it again.
37:17 Speaker 02 He's a tramp. I wonder if he's on Rea. I must go back on it.
37:24 Speaker 01 He can't be trusted.
37:26 Speaker 02 We're sending love to Brazil. We can't imagine how hard it must be to have your husband repeatedly cheating on you like that.
37:31 Speaker 01 No, Jasper, I mean, don't stand for it. You, girl, you get out there. Bring yourself back out there. You find yourself a new rag doll. You don't need to put up with that shit.
37:40 Speaker 02 Go to Bali. Do a retreat, you know? It's time to break the cycle. That would be my advice. Not that she asked for it.
37:45 Speaker 01 Agree. I had a little news story this week that made me wanna vomit in my own mouth.
37:53 Speaker 02 I'd rather you did that with someone else's, but go on.
37:54 Speaker 01 So, I do that in my private time, thank you.
37:58 Speaker 02 Keep it to yourself.
37:59 Speaker 01 Oh my god, I watched this, so there's this guy called Jamie East and I watched his Instagram, very funny. He finds all these mad videos and there was a video, this isn't the story I was gonna tell you, but it just reminded me of it. There's a kid in the back of the car, now she's about like 20, then there's the son in the front seat and he might be about like 22, 24. And then there's the mother and then the son's like, haha, look at the way my mom used to feed me when I was younger. It's the only way I'd eat. She chews up food and then spat it into his mouth and he ate it. And the three of them like, haha, and posted it to the internet and I'm like, what is wrong with your family?
38:37 Speaker 02 Well, there's a little bird that does that, I think it's called a gamet, isn't there Jo? And it's how it feeds its family or something, like that, chews it up and spits it into their mouths. I can understand what, I can understand needing to get the lumps out, but like, my god, what age are they now?
38:55 Speaker 01 Like, he must have been about 24 and they thought it was hilarious and I'm thinking to myself, I can't even drink someone else's drink. Imagine my mother spitting food into my mouth.
39:03 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah, no, no, no, no. Would you mind it as a baby?
39:07 Speaker 01 No, I wouldn't like, I wouldn't like to even know that it happened as a baby, like Theodore, I tried to wipe toothpaste off his mouth. You know, your mom used to lick your thumb and he was going mental. I was like, get it off.
39:21 Speaker 01 God, she's going for a fancy, what are you doing for the rest of the day, Jo?
39:24 Speaker 02 I am going into work and then going to the pub.
39:28 Speaker 01 Oh, you're going to the pub, at least that's nice. I am, I'm doing some work and collecting cheetahs and that's my day. And Joanne's off for a fancy lunch and set that for.
39:35 Speaker 02 I'm going for, oh, I'm so excited. I'm gonna wear heels. This is where, I'm gonna wear heels, yeah, yeah. I've got a big pair of silver naked wolf heels and I'm gonna wear them on my feet. And do you know what? I was gonna do that even before I knew I had a 4.5. I swear to god, it's gonna look like now.
39:53 Speaker 01 You just can't let me have it. You can't let me have it, can you?
39:57 Speaker 02 I can't, sorry, I can't, I can't, I just can't. I can't be less than. I just can't. I'm adopted, like it just really fucks up my head. Just feels like rejection. I just, I just need to up my game and I'm willing to up my feet game. It gives me something to do and the pedicure is fresh. Oh my God, wait to see these shoes.
40:13 Speaker 01 I'm sorry, but your Insta game is not strong over there, by the way. You're posting like three stories a day and I'm not happy with it. And I'm really excited when I see them. I want six stories from this lunch day. I want an outfit post. I want from the lunches. You can stop when you've had like too much to drink, allow that, but maybe, maybe throw in the odd drunk questionnaire, please. We've been waiting so.
40:34 Speaker 02 Yeah, I'll go live at some stage. I've been, I've extended my stay now as we know and I've had five days at the end on my own again. So I probably will end up going live at some point. Set up an alarm, maybe. Is there somewhere you can set up a notification if I go live so you can contact me and take me off the internet? Is there any way of doing that?
40:53 Speaker 01 Well, actually, if you go to the front page of your, of your luggage, I've left a GoPro in there with the headpiece. So if you wouldn't mind just popping that on. It's what we've been waiting for.
41:03 Speaker 02 Yeah. Folks, organize a camera crew just to really nail it down. Yeah.
41:08 Speaker 01 It won't be invasive. It won't be invasive.
41:10 Speaker 02 Guys, I gotta go. I've got, I've got, I've got a brunch.
41:14 Speaker 01 Yeah, we have to go too. We have, we have stuff on.
41:16 Speaker 02 We all want to go, actually.
41:17 Speaker 01 Yeah.
41:18 Speaker 02 Oh, everyone else is fine. Brunch, don't it's fine. Go.
41:22 Speaker 01 See you later, everybody.
41:24 Speaker 02 Bye.
41:42 Speaker 04 Observe. The North American dad. 50s. Great polo collection. He enters his vehicle information on Carvana. An offer appears in minutes. Remarkable. He squints, reads it again, smiles and says, dang, that's a good offer. The highest form of approval. No haggling, no hassle. No one called him boss. He's still on the couch. Astonishing. Sell your car today on carvana.com. Pickup fees may apply.
Previous MTGM EXTRA! "It's all WAY too vigorous..." Next MTGM EXTRA! "I'm sure the sex will come back." Page updated November 5, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated