The Zoo, Robbing & Dogging

Vogue witnessed a robbery at London Zoo - and a man petting the goats alone. Also, Joanne is going to start dogging. That’s the tweet. If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] Please review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/ For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com Joanne's comedy gigs: www.joannemcnally.com Vogue's Book Tour: www.fane.co.uk/vogue-williams This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.

• 0:15Speaker 00

  Hello and welcome to My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Vogue Williams and

• 0:19Speaker 01

  Joanne McNally.

• 0:20Speaker 00

  Hello.

• 0:21Speaker 01

  Hello. That's very demure.

• 0:23Speaker 00

  Hi.

• 0:24Speaker 01

  What's going on?

• 0:24Speaker 00

  Well, I'm wearing a demure dress right now, so I'm just feeling demure.

• 0:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're very chic. You're very Parisian looking. You're all in black. Are you going for a chic brunch? Or has somebody passed?

• 0:40Speaker 00

  This would be a great funeral dress. Great funeral dress, but no, no one's dead. Now, when we're at this age, when I get a phone call, I'm like, fuck it. I got a phone call off my brother at like two in the morning and I was like, oh, Jesus Christ, who is it?

• 0:52Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 0:52Speaker 00

  Who is it?

• 0:53Speaker 01

  Every time my brother rings me, I'm like, mum's dead. My brother just ring at like two o'clock on a Wednesday. There'll be no kind of preamble to, I'm going to give you ballet to talk about this, that and the other. So because of my nervous disposition, because I come from a long line of nervous wrecks, I assume my mother's dead because obviously that's my biggest fear. Um, yeah, but it's not. He's just ringing to chat.

• 1:13Speaker 00

  Now, I will say, sometimes I just take it upon myself to call you, but I don't really do that to a lot of people. So I haven't thought of how much that might frighten you and I will consider it in future.

• 1:23Speaker 01

  That is different. That's different. We have bits and bobs to discuss. We are business owners. We own a business. This is a business. I don't know if you've noticed, but

• 1:32Speaker 00

  A business bitch.

• 1:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, we are. She, she, I can't even say.

• 1:38Speaker 00

  Sheos?

• 1:38Speaker 01

  We are sheos.

• 1:42Speaker 00

  I'm a shantrepeneur.

• 1:44Speaker 01

  That's one of the, that's one of those terms. I can't get, I just can't get aboard with sheos. Someone sent me a meme this morning of saying, um, hold on, I'll actually get it because it is quite funny.

• 1:55Speaker 00

  Are you wearing a whoop?

• 1:57Speaker 01

  I'm a whoop girl now.

• 1:58Speaker 00

  So Joanne's wearing a whoop. Did you send her a whoop? Where'd you get the whoop?

• 2:03Speaker 01

  He didn't send me a thing. Whoop sent me the whoop themselves. Can you believe it? I couldn't believe it either. Do you know what? I didn't want to bring it up because I don't want to encourage you talking about sleep because we have put a ban on you talking about sleep and you talking about drinking and purple dragon. They're your three things you're not allowed to talk about.

• 2:20Speaker 01

  So I didn't want to bring it up, but now that you've noticed it, I am going to say I got 11 hours sleep last night.

• 2:25Speaker 00

  No.

• 2:26Speaker 01

  Living on.

• 2:26Speaker 00

  No.

• 2:27Speaker 01

  11 hours, according to my whoop.

• 2:29Speaker 00

  I'm a whoop.

• 2:30Speaker 01

  What's it called?

• 2:31Speaker 00

  Customer.

• 2:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:34Speaker 00

  A whoop athlete. Are you a whoop?

• 2:36Speaker 01

  I was going to say partner, but a customer, yes.

• 2:39Speaker 00

  Joanne's going to now be a Red Bull athlete. She'll be in the Olympics next. Watch, watch this face.

• 2:44Speaker 01

  What's that Red Bull event that they do where they have to turn, so they have to fly through the air, they have to turn a little side car into an eagle or something? What's that called?

• 2:52Speaker 00

  Where they make, they have to basically create some kind of go-kart, but everyone does these mad ones.

• 2:57Speaker 01

  And it flies off the side of the pier and they do, do you know what I was reading, God knows when, because I've been asleep for most of my life, according to my whoop, I don't know where I get the time to do anything, that when Red Bull started, one of their marketing campaigns, now this is true or not, I'm not sure, but I read it on TikTok, so I'm assuming it is factually correct, they used to, they used to leave empty Red Bull cans around bus stops and stuff, so it would look like loads of people were drinking it. Now, the environmental ethics around that aren't great, but yeah, it's not gas.

• 3:22Speaker 00

  Guerrilla marketing, Joanne.

• 3:23Speaker 01

  Guerrillas, that's what it was.

• 3:25Speaker 00

  There's a bus stop by T School and there is like, honestly, I'm not over-exaggerating, about a thousand vape stickers. So you know the bottom of a vape when you pull it off? People are obviously pulling it off and just sticking it to the, to the bin. Sorry, not the bus stop, it's on the bin. You know the bottom of the vape when you have to pull the sticker?

• 3:41Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 3:42Speaker 00

  My mom's like, what are those things? I'm like, vape stickers. Looks quite fancy now. What, you were about to show us a meme.

• 3:48Speaker 01

  Oh, yes. A friend just referred to Buckingham Palace as Bucky P in a group chat and the other guys in the chat immediately started a new one without him.

• 3:59Speaker 01

  Can't say Bucky P. That really, no. You can't say Bucky P.

• 4:03Speaker 00

  A year ago, you would have been allowed to have an opinion on that, but since you said Hundy P, you've no opinion anymore.

• 4:09Speaker 01

  No, you're right, you're right, you're right.

• 4:10Speaker 00

  Amber keeps saying Sammies, Sammies, and she talks about them because it's what she eats every day for lunch. And I honestly, even me repeating it, I'm like, whoa.

• 4:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, I actually, it's disgusting. That actually makes.

• 4:21Speaker 00

  Emily, cut that out.

• 4:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, cut it out. Actually, cut it out.

• 4:27Speaker 01

  Sorry, speaking of booky P.

• 4:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 4:31Speaker 01

  Are we gonna talk about the fact that we got, well, you got rinsed about Meghan Markle? Are we talking about that or not talking about that?

• 4:37Speaker 00

  Oh my. So basically, I'm getting all this abuse online because the Daily Mail, I don't think people understand clickbait headlines. They're clickbait for a reason to get you to click on them. And me, well, Joanne, first of all, said she didn't like the way Meghan Markle wore her jumper around her shoulders.

• 4:55Speaker 01

  I said, we were talking about Meghan Markle and her new Netflix show, and I said that I had no real opinion of Meghan Markle. I was kind of indifferent, which I said at the time, I'd imagine of all the abuse that Meghan gets, indifferent, she'd probably be like, yeah, I'll take that. I don't like her, dislike her. I don't, she's not really on my radar. That's what I said. What I did say was, it's a bit earnest. So I don't like, I don't like a beige jumper around a shoulder. That's like, that's, that's all I said. Because that's all I seen. And then Vogue went, of course, too far and said it was disgusting.

• 5:23Speaker 00

  And everyone is now abusing me, saying horrible things about me. Excuse me, Joanne, I said I'd be into that kind of show. And I also said, I really liked her fruit platter. I only said, I didn't like her jumper. So now everyone's like, oh, who?

• 5:40Speaker 01

  Did you really like her?

• 5:41Speaker 00

  Who do, yeah. And then everyone's like, who do you think you are, like saying really mean things about me? And I was like, what's going on here? And it was only when I saw the Daily Mail that I was like, ah. And then this woman who literally abused me for like 20 different, like, messages on my page, I just wrote back and I was like, I just said I didn't like her jumper. And she goes, oh, okay.

• 6:01Speaker 01

  No way. Read the article. No way.

• 6:07Speaker 00

  Yeah. Oh, okay.

• 6:09Speaker 01

  Yeah. So it just goes to show, those headlines are, they're intended to wind people up and they do a really good job. The Daily Mail are really good at it.

• 6:16Speaker 00

  Really good at it. And I actually am, I'm even annoyed with them about it. Let me try and get a couple of these.

• 6:21Speaker 01

  It's so weird the way, like, I mean, I know I'm not as famous as you in the UK. I do understand that. But it's almost like the Daily Mail, what do they, who do they think you're talking to? Do I, do I get any, I get no rage from the Daily Mail. I'm not used at all as rage bait. And at the start, I thought it was a great thing. I'm starting to find it a little insulting.

• 6:38Speaker 00

  Well, I think that people find me so annoying anyway, that they're like, oh, here's something we can really go at her for now, you know?

• 6:45Speaker 01

  Vogue, trust me, I am just as annoying as you. I'm not being humble. And I'm not bragging. We're just as annoying as each other. Trust me.

• 6:53Speaker 00

  Look, this woman said to me, you're so bitter, you need to have your face fixed and those lip fillers dissolved. And I wrote back and I said, I wrote back and I said, oh, thanks babe. I don't have fillers. So I'll take that as a compliment.

• 7:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, I would. I was gonna say, it's a really good job.

• 7:08Speaker 00

  I know.

• 7:09Speaker 01

  If you're gonna dissolve them, give them to me.

• 7:12Speaker 00

  There's nothing to dissolve. Anyway, so for all the Meghan lovers that aren't listening to this podcast, because you clearly don't actually listen to what we say, or read articles. We only said, we didn't like her jumper. That's all.

• 7:24Speaker 01

  It's saccharin. Is it saccharin? Is that? It's too, it's, it's too sweet for me. That's, that was, that was, that was my whole opinion on it. I think she seems like, I think she seems sad. I like, I don't really.

• 7:35Speaker 00

  I don't really dislike anyone to a level that I'm gonna slag them off online. And to be honest with you, I didn't dislike the jumper. I just disliked the way she wore it.

• 7:43Speaker 01

  I have bigger fish to fry, Vogue, as do you.

• 7:46Speaker 00

  Much bigger fish to fry.

• 7:47Speaker 01

  Yeah. Like, you're not allowed to talk about Purple Dragon anymore. That's a, how, how are you gonna feel your week?

• 7:52Speaker 00

  Joanna, can I just say one thing? You're the one who talk, it's actually you who shouldn't be allowed to talk about Purple Dragon. You talk about Purple Dragon all the time.

• 8:00Speaker 01

  That's actually true. Yeah. I've just realised that.

• 8:02Speaker 00

  Always. Have they rang you to give you a membership? Yes, because they should.

• 8:20Speaker 00

  11 11, make a wish.

• 8:21Speaker 01

  11 11. I wish I believed in that. I wish your husband would stop interrupting our business.

• 8:29Speaker 00

  I went to the zoo yesterday. Have you been to London Zoo?

• 8:34Speaker 01

  I don't believe I have. I've been to Dublin Zoo, never to London Zoo. Are you talking, you're not talking about the one in Battersea Park, are you?

• 8:42Speaker 00

  No, no, no, no. We went to the big zoo. We went to the, I love the Battersea Zoo Park, but we went to the big zoo.

• 8:46Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 8:47Speaker 00

  For our little family day out. And it was a bit strange because we saw this man, right? And he was like, he was about 30 and he was at the zoo, which is fine. Like, I think the zoo is a nice place to go to. But he was at the zoo and he was like going into all down, like you can go in and pet the goats and stuff. And he was in there for like 15 minutes, petting the goats and filming them and stuff. And I was like, that feels a bit weird to me.

• 9:09Speaker 01

  It's so, it's, isn't it galling, man? Anything they do on their own now is just suspicious. Do you know what I mean? Like, they can't be in playgrounds anymore. And now they can't even be in zoos. Everyone's like, what's he doing here though? It's weird.

• 9:24Speaker 00

  Well, that's weird. Like, why are you going to the zoo to pet goats on a Sunday for so long?

• 9:28Speaker 01

  Like, what? He could be going through, like, I mean, there's great healing therapy in animals, you know? Maybe he can't afford a therapy dog, so he's in just having a pet of a goat.

• 9:39Speaker 00

  Well, my mom, actually, when she was in Spain, this new playground opened and she was down there filming it to sell me a video. And she was like, I thought maybe I shouldn't be filming it in case someone came up to me and said, why are you filming the playground? Weirdo.

• 9:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, you're not allowed to. Like, I, because I live near Clapham Common and I'd be out kind of like filming bits and bobs. And I'm always aware when, because there's loads of kids playing and sports and everything. And I'm really conscious that if my camera's even facing that direction, that someone's going to come over and taser me and drag me off in a van.

• 10:07Speaker 00

  Yeah, you can't, you can't.

• 10:09Speaker 01

  Did you report, did you report the man for being in the zoo on his own?

• 10:14Speaker 01

  There's a single white male in petting the goats and it looks suspicious to me.

• 10:18Speaker 00

  Miss Penny. So I was obviously in petting the goats too.

• 10:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course. I'm a woman. I'm free to do as I please.

• 10:28Speaker 00

  I love goats. That's the difference.

• 10:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:31Speaker 00

  But Penny, I came out because I was in with Theodore and Gigi, obviously. And Penny was like, have you been watching that fella? And I was like, yeah, he is. He's filming them for quite some time. But anyway, maybe he just enjoys animals. As you said, it's quite a cool place to be.

• 10:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, it is. And if that man is listening, just know that I didn't make, I didn't make the mental leap that you are into. I didn't think that it was a bestiality situation or a non-situation. I just thought that man's trying to enjoy a single Sunday on his own.

• 11:01Speaker 00

  Okay, why don't you go do single woman Sundays? Go to the zoo and go and pet goats and see how weird you feel about it.

• 11:06Speaker 01

  I'd love that. There's a llama company in Wicklow in Ireland that they're allowed to walk. Well, llamas, obviously.

• 11:13Speaker 00

  Would you believe?

• 11:15Speaker 01

  I wouldn't. There's a llama company, no horse riding.

• 11:19Speaker 01

  There's a llama company and you can walk llamas and every time I felt a little down on myself, I was like, I'll book that llama walk. Of course, I never do because I'm a lazy bitch, but yeah. I get great, great healing in an animal, being able to pet something.

• 11:31Speaker 00

  There's a couple of donkeys in Hoth and actually I do stop and pet them sometimes. I do.

• 11:36Speaker 01

  They're trying to recreate the hairy mammoth. Do you remember the?

• 11:40Speaker 00

  Woolly mammoth.

• 11:40Speaker 01

  The woolly mammoth.

• 11:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:43Speaker 01

  Not the hairy one. But you see, they've, they've started on a little mouse and they've made a woolly mouse.

• 11:48Speaker 00

  Did they?

• 11:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, they're starting small.

• 11:50Speaker 00

  Do we need the woolly mammoth back? Like, how are we going to control this? Did no one watch Jurassic Park? Was it just me who watched it? Look what happened there.

• 11:57Speaker 01

  But I think they're just doing it to, I think they're doing it to show off, do you know?

• 12:00Speaker 00

  I saw this hairy pig at the zoo actually, but like full tufts of hair, like you could put his hair in a ponytail. I've never seen them.

• 12:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, I've seen him.

• 12:07Speaker 00

  I have a weird thing that happened at the zoo and I want to know your opinion on it.

• 12:10Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 12:11Speaker 00

  Okay. So we're at the zoo and at the end, it's not the goat man, it's not the goat

• 12:14Speaker 01

  Okay, okay. Cause I was like, I think I've made my position clear. Unless there's

• 12:15Speaker 00

  man.

• 12:18Speaker 01

  more to the story.

• 12:22Speaker 00

  I did see an ALS actor there. It was quite mental.

• 12:23Speaker 01

  Put your hands where we can see them.

• 12:27Speaker 00

  Get away from the goats. Do you ever see all those people who jump into the enclosures? Like when they're absolutely, like there was a man in China who jumped into the tiger enclosure. Like, I don't know what he thought was going to happen. And he just got mauled to death by a tiger because like he was pissed.

• 12:42Speaker 01

  Was he pissed or was that not a kind of an attempt to unalive? Was that not an intentional attempt to unalive himself with, with some drama? I thought that's what that was. I thought it's like, he's had some sort of breakdown. He's decided to unalive himself and wants to do it in the most dramatic fashion he can do it. That's what I got from that. But that's maybe because I have a tendency to be a bit dramatic myself.

• 13:00Speaker 00

  No, I wasn't aware. We get to the zoo, we're having a great time, see the fellow with the goats. Saw an ALS actor, by the way.

• 13:07Speaker 01

  Oh, who?

• 13:08Speaker 00

  Tom Hiddleston.

• 13:09Speaker 01

  I thought you were going to say Tom Hardy there and I was, I was like.

• 13:12Speaker 00

  Right. That would have been the first thing I said to you if it had been Tom. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:17Speaker 01

  Hold on, I need to Google him now.

• 13:19Speaker 00

  Remember, he wore that Taylor Swift t-shirt.

• 13:21Speaker 01

  Oh, and is it okay that he's at the zoo?

• 13:23Speaker 00

  Well, he had a child with him.

• 13:24Speaker 01

  Oh, was it his own?

• 13:26Speaker 00

  I didn't ask him. I was too busy trying to make sure Svenny didn't see him because he loved the famous person.

• 13:31Speaker 01

  Tom Hiddleston.

• 13:32Speaker 00

  How do you not know him?

• 13:33Speaker 01

  I didn't know. Sometimes I'm surprised by my own ignorance. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, recognise him. Good man, good man himself. He's allowed to be there.

• 13:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, A-lister, A-lister.

• 13:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:41Speaker 00

  Anyway, and so when we get to the end of the zoo, we're like, right, you can all choose one toy each because you've been so well behaved, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you never, they, they put that toy shop, they put the big thing at the end of the zoo because they know that people are going to want to go to the, I even want to go into the gift shop. Anyway, so we're there and I saw a family and I was like, wow, I was like, they're buying a lot of stuff. One of their children, a girl, had like four of the same teddy, but like a massive teddy, but four of them. I think it was a giant sloth. So she'd four of them. The other girl had like a big, a dress up thing and then a handful of stuff as well. And then there was loads of stuff on top of the buggy. And then there was a massive queue to pay for everything. So we got in the queue and we paid for our bits.

• 14:21Speaker 00

  And then we walked out and I, I saw them and they weren't in the queue and they had just walked out with all that stuff and not paid.

• 14:29Speaker 01

  No.

• 14:30Speaker 00

  Yes. No one said anything to them. But now here's the dilemma. I said nothing, like we'd already walked out of the zoo, like we weren't even in the zoo. We were on the road beside the zoo. And they were kind of walking really fast and they kept looking back and kept looking back. And I was like, oh my God, I've never seen someone steal so brazenly and so much stuff. That like, I, I just, I didn't say anything. What could I say? It's not really my business.

• 14:55Speaker 01

  They went full supermarket sweep in the zoo, the zoo merch shop. What's it called? Gift shop.

• 15:01Speaker 00

  Quite the haul. You should have seen it.

• 15:03Speaker 01

  Do you know what I would say to this? My immediate reaction would be, I don't have any children.

• 15:08Speaker 00

  So, okay.

• 15:09Speaker 01

  Okay. Point number one. So I like to treat myself.

• 15:11Speaker 00

  I thought that was the whole point.

• 15:15Speaker 01

  That's it. Okay, guys. See you next week.

• 15:19Speaker 01

  I don't have any kids, but word on the street is they are fucking expensive. And maybe this mother is a bit short on cash. And we know the zoo's cleaning up. They've got random men going in there on their own, not just families. They've got all sorts going in there. So they've probably got loads of cash and maybe this mother just needed, she just needed to give her kids some presents.

• 15:39Speaker 00

  Well, I stayed out of it, but at the same time, like, why do you need four giant sloth teddies? You don't, you don't need four giant sloths. You don't, it was just, it actually, it went on the verge of greedy stealing. Greedy, like what?

• 15:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:52Speaker 00

  I used to steal off my dad sometimes when I was younger. I just did, it was terrible. It wasn't great, I'm not happy about it. I'm not happy about it. And sometimes when I was going on holidays, I'd get a bit greedier than other stealing occasions when I only needed money for a Friday night.

• 16:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:05Speaker 00

  So maybe that was their like holiday stealing. I don't know.

• 16:08Speaker 01

  Stick it to the man.

• 16:09Speaker 00

  I think that the people were like, there was a lot of people.

• 16:12Speaker 01

  I'm a socialist, communist today. That's my vibe. I've just woken up. I think that's where I stand on this. You should have given her a lift home with a four by four. How's she gonna get all that shit back? Did you see her get into the car?

• 16:22Speaker 00

  I'll tell you what, I started checking my pockets for my phone. I was like, take, take all that shit. Don't take my phone though.

• 16:28Speaker 01

  Maybe the guy stroking the goats is actually her husband. And she's realised what's going on, that he can't be trusted, that he was behaving inappropriately around the animals. She was like, okay, we need to start a new life. We need to sell some shit, get our own place. Maybe that was it. So she rents a gift shop, no?

• 16:42Speaker 00

  Oh God.

• 16:43Speaker 01

  Just trying to get the imagination running.

• 16:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, but I just, I just feel like if they didn't, if the zoo people didn't pick up on it, it's not really my place to get involved in something like that. And they have kids, so I was like, I'm not getting involved in that. It's really sad that they're doing it anyway.

• 16:57Speaker 01

  Imagine the Daily Mail headline, Vogue Williams stops small child stealing two pound soft toy from zoo gift shop.

• 17:04Speaker 00

  You obviously haven't been into the zoo gift shop. Two pounds? I don't think so, my friend. Those teddies are like 80 quid.

• 17:11Speaker 01

  Vogue Williams wrestles baby to the ground while her mother, who has no money, is trying to steal a present for her child's birthday. That'd be the headline. Joanna McNally has nonce arrested in lamb park.

• 17:26Speaker 01

  Sorry, Joanna McNally has nonce arrested in goat park. That'd be my headline. I'd be in there saving lives, you'd be in there ruining the lives of children.

• 17:36Speaker 00

  Well, I didn't. I took a stance and decided, I'm not getting involved in that. I'm not getting involved. It's none of my business.

• 17:42Speaker 01

  It's none of your business.

• 17:43Speaker 00

  No.

• 17:44Speaker 01

  There is a certain amount of confidence required to just bail out the front door. Because then people just assume, oh, there's obviously a, you know, she obviously has a vicer system going, or she's pre-arranged the, but she's just looting the place.

• 17:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, like, but that's obviously how robbers do it. Have you ever seen those videos of people who go into the secondhand, like, designer shops? And they literally fleece the places, fleece them.

• 18:06Speaker 01

  How?

• 18:07Speaker 00

  I don't know. They just, they basically just shove it all into their bag and leave. And they don't get caught till after.

• 18:13Speaker 01

  Speaking of robbing, there was a story going around the internet this weekend about people in America who robbed, basically, they brought in a rattlesnake.

• 18:23Speaker 00

  To steal?

• 18:23Speaker 01

  I was confused at the start that they were holding the rattlesnake up as a gun and the tongue was like the bullet, but actually, they were just like, oh, look, it's a rattlesnake. And then she got distracted. And then they just lifted $400 worth of CBD oil, which, according to the article, is £308 worth of CBD oil. And I was like, that is kind of a fun burglary. The woman got to experience a rattlesnake, and they only nicked £400 worth of CBD oil.

• 18:47Speaker 00

  So they were, like, they used snakes as weapons? That feels like a lot of effort. That feels like a lot of effort, like, and dangerous also to them.

• 18:54Speaker 01

  So they weren't showing the snake off. It wasn't like the woman was like, oh, look, the snake. They weren't showing it off like a little puppy. If and when they get prosecuted, it's not armed robbery.

• 19:03Speaker 00

  Well, it will be, it will be classified as armed robbery.

• 19:06Speaker 01

  It's not, but it's animal, it's animal robbery.

• 19:09Speaker 00

  Still, it's like going in there with a rat whiner and be like, give me your money!

• 19:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, but it's like, you can't, you know what I mean? There's no rules around bringing a snake in. It's the same as going in with a goldfish and being like, empty the till. There's no real threat there.

• 19:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, but people who go in with a plastic gun and pretend to hold up a place with a plastic gun still get done for armed robbery. An armed robbery in America. Yeah, you get, you get done for a long time for, like, armed robbery. It's not a good thing to do.

• 19:34Speaker 01

  If it's a fake, if it's a plastic gun, then there's no real threat there.

• 19:37Speaker 00

  No, they still do you first. They still do you first.

• 19:39Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 19:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 19:45Speaker 02

  If you've ever tried to hire someone in another country and immediately hit a wall of paperwork, compliance rules and back and forth approvals, you know how fast that excitement can turn into a headache. That's exactly what Pebble is built to fix. Pebble is a global hiring platform that lets founders and HR leaders hire in over 185 countries in minutes, not months. Compliance isn't something you manage around with Pebble. It's built directly into the platform. A decade of expertise embedded into every workflow, so regulatory blind spots and costly mistakes don't slow you down. Contracts, payroll, benefits, it's all in one place, integrated with the tools your team already uses. And

• 20:28Speaker 02

  your new hire, onboarded by Monday. Pebble starts at $3.99 per month per employee, and right now, there's a limited time offer just for podcast listeners that makes it even easier to get started. Go to highpebble.ai before it's gone. That's high P E B L dot A I. Terms and conditions apply.

• 20:50Speaker 00

  I just, I don't know if you just heard what happened there.

• 20:53Speaker 01

  I heard you getting charged a grand for Uber, that's what I heard.

• 20:57Speaker 01

  I think we should keep that in, because I think it's important that people know that you do pay for shit sometimes.

• 21:07Speaker 00

  Did you hear that other fella who, there was a manager who basically created an additional 22 fake employees and had been paying himself his own wage, and then these pretend fake employees' wage as well?

• 21:20Speaker 01

  I don't-

• 21:21Speaker 00

  In Shanghai, so in Shanghai, there was a guy, and he had a job as a manager, and he pretended to the company that he'd employed 22 new people.

• 21:28Speaker 01

  Oh my god!

• 21:30Speaker 00

  He made something like 2.2 mil.

• 21:32Speaker 01

  No, sorry, but just shows the work ethic of the Chinese that he managed to pull that off.

• 21:38Speaker 00

  It went unnoticed.

• 21:39Speaker 01

  That they thought that he actually did the workload of another 22 people.

• 21:43Speaker 00

  It went unnoticed for four years.

• 21:47Speaker 01

  My accountant is like, Joanna, are you even doing your own job?

• 21:52Speaker 01

  Managed to convince anyone that you're doing 23 people's jobs, that's crazy.

• 21:57Speaker 00

  Well, he did, he got away with it for so long, but now he's in prison for 10 years.

• 22:01Speaker 01

  Ah shit, that's shit crack. Yeah, I always think if the company's big enough, fuck them. I'm real Che Guevara vibes today, until lunchtime when I start selling my handbags again.

• 22:13Speaker 01

  Just be occupied.

• 22:14Speaker 00

  Do you know a woman messaged me and said, because that's why it's in my head. She was like, I did not know that that there was just a really lovely woman on Instagram. And she's like, I did not know that was your bag business. You need to plug that more. And I was like, oh.

• 22:26Speaker 01

  I have to say, I'm actually quite excited because we have a new bag. We've a new, we're bringing out a new little, we have a new style of bag with a new, we have a new style of just be occupied bag, which I'm quite excited about. I don't know how to describe it. It's, it's like, it's just a different shape and size. It's like a little square, little square yoke.

• 22:40Speaker 00

  So nonchalant.

• 22:42Speaker 01

  And it's got this cool, multi-coloured handle.

• 22:46Speaker 00

  Oh, deadly.

• 22:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:47Speaker 00

  I'll be, I'll be looking forward to that.

• 22:49Speaker 01

  I've been very much involved in the design process. So it means no one will want to wear it but myself.

• 22:56Speaker 01

  But like, what is this monstrosity?

• 22:59Speaker 00

  Well, I have a brand new purple that I bring in on holidays. I mean, because it's, I forgot how massive it is.

• 23:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, they're huge.

• 23:05Speaker 00

  Because I don't like packing, I don't pack, if I'm going away on holidays and I have my, I love my sunglasses so much. So like, I like, I put them in my hand luggage. I'm like, I'm not packing them on my bag just in case. So I put them in my hand luggage and also my sandals, because sandals are pretty heavy.

• 23:17Speaker 01

  Are you going away again?

• 23:19Speaker 00

  Joanne, I will not have you speak to me like that.

• 23:23Speaker 01

  Are you going away again?

• 23:24Speaker 00

  We're, we're going home. We're going home to where Spencer's from, right? And if that's St Bart's, that's not my problem. Okay? I'm going home.

• 23:35Speaker 01

  The only reason I will ever marry is if my husband is from the Caribbean. So I can, so I can call that going home.

• 23:42Speaker 00

  Can I actually say, and I don't mean to sound like, like ungrateful or anything. Well, I am grateful, but I am paying for it myself. But like, I just kind of love to just, to go to Ireland or something and chill. But, but like Spencer genuinely is like, I have to go back. Like, that's like my hope. And I'm like, as amazing as it is, it's still, it's a long way to travel with kids. But anyway, I can't wait. We're going to have a great time and I'm not being ungrateful.

• 24:05Speaker 01

  No, of course not. It's an amazing position to be in. Speaking of travel, a little personal plug, I'm going to be doing more work in progress for my ter-

• 24:16Speaker 01

  I'm bringing the, I'm bringing the pod on tour by myself. You could just do, sorry.

• 24:22Speaker 00

  You'll be in safe parts. You won't, you won't, you don't need to be there.

• 24:26Speaker 01

  Speaking of travel, I'm gonna be in Brooklyn, soon actually, doing more work and progresses for Penophile in Union Hall in Brooklyn. I'm gonna be there, end of March, start of April. Check my website, tramacnally.com for tickets. Come along.

• 24:40Speaker 00

  Come along.

• 24:41Speaker 01

  Be my, be my American guinea pigs, please.

• 24:46Speaker 00

  That'll be fun. You get to go to Brooklyn.

• 24:48Speaker 01

  I get to go to Brooklyn and the reason this started was I've got a week off because we've got, we've got a break from the podcast. And I was like, I should go on holidays. And then I realised I'm out of crest strips and melatonin. I said, I'm going to, I'm going to America.

• 24:58Speaker 00

  And eye drops, eye drops.

• 25:00Speaker 01

  I'm out of eye drops. And then I was like, well, I'm in, I'm in America, I might as well do some shows.

• 25:04Speaker 00

  You better come back with Fanta for me. I mean it. I mean it this time.

• 25:09Speaker 01

  I will probably come back with Fanta from, with you. Oh my God, what is wrong with me? I haven't even been drinking.

• 25:16Speaker 00

  That's, that's where the problem lies. That's the problem.

• 25:19Speaker 01

  I'm out of, out of town and I'm out of crested cheese strips. I said, I have to go to New York. And also I booked tickets, I booked a ticket on my own, solo traveller to go and see Glengarry Glen Ross with Bill Burr.

• 25:31Speaker 00

  Oh, wow.

• 25:32Speaker 01

  Yeah. Now, this was also one of the reasons I wanted to go. But yeah, and I've really treated myself.

• 25:38Speaker 00

  Why have you, why, why was it very expensive? That's really, that's your birthday present now for yourself. You can't have anything else.

• 25:45Speaker 01

  That's actually, do you know what I'll say? It's an expensive ticket, but Vogue, you're right. You suggested I buy it for myself, my birthday. So that's what I've decided to do. And it was like when I went to see Sarah Jessica Parker's play, when she came here and I went on my own as well. And it was expensive again, but again, that was my Valentine's Day present to myself.

• 26:00Speaker 00

  She, I know why she's going on her own as well because you don't have to pay for a ticket for anyone else and you're dead, right? I wouldn't even invite Spencer, no way.

• 26:07Speaker 01

  Ta ta. My mother's like, why, where are you going? I was like, don't worry about it.

• 26:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, you're not going.

• 26:12Speaker 01

  You're not going.

• 26:13Speaker 00

  Um, what was I gonna say to you? I started watching that Ruby Frankie thing after you told me to. It's on Disney Plus. It's horror. It's so good though. I watched the first two apps. I can't wait to watch more tonight. It's such a, it's a really good, like, if you're looking for something to watch, I really enjoyed that.

• 26:29Speaker 01

  It's an eye turner, but it is shocking.

• 26:31Speaker 00

  Shocking, but you can almost, because they have hours and hours of footage of her, um, from creating her YouTube's. And like, she's left all this stuff in where she literally like, she's like, hi, and she's really nice to camera. And then she just screeches at the kids. It's just, it's, you can see her turn though. You can actually see it in her eyes as the videos progress. It's like, oh my God, you're like.

• 26:53Speaker 01

  She was kind of abusing her kids in broad daylight. Like it was kind of, it was, it was crazy. Something else I watched, which is, I absolutely inhaled it this weekend was on Netflix. I've been reading about it and then it popped up and I was like, boom, was adolescence.

• 27:08Speaker 00

  Oh yeah, I've read about that.

• 27:10Speaker 01

  Families World turns upside down when 13 year old Jamie Miller is arrested for murdering a schoolmate. It is fantastic. The acting in it is crazy. And I don't know anything about filming TV, but apparently it was all filmed in like one shot or something. I don't know, like kind of, they did a week of rehearsals, then they did a week of.

• 27:30Speaker 00

  Like Birdman, Birdman. That was, that was filmed in one shot, wasn't it? I'm going to download that for the train tomorrow.

• 27:36Speaker 01

  Yeah. Everything to know about one shot crime drama adolescence. Four part limited series starring Stephen Graham and each episode is filmed in one unflinching and continuous shot. It's.

• 27:48Speaker 00

  That's really cool.

• 27:49Speaker 01

  It's amazing and the storyline's amazing and it gets, it kind of digs into the whole kind of like incel culture and the manosphere and the femisphere, which I wasn't aware of those terms at all, and all the kind of Andrew Tate stuff. And it's brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, brilliant.

• 28:03Speaker 00

  Like, I honestly worry about all that Andrew Tate kind of stuff. It's because I, when I was away, um, when I was filming the pilot for that TV show that I'm doing, I was away and I was in the sauna. And this guy started speaking to me about Andrew Tate and all that. And he was like 20 and it was really frightening to hear his take on it. I was like, you're gonna, you won't feel like this in five years' time. I hope, my God.

• 28:24Speaker 01

  Spotify have taken down his podcast, which is something. He had a podcast called Pimping.

• 28:30Speaker 00

  He's so grim. He's so grim.

• 28:33Speaker 01

  And I know it's the least of his worries, but he looks stupid in those sunglasses.

• 28:40Speaker 00

  Like, I know that's not the main focus of Andrew Tate, but the sunglasses look so stupid on him. He looks so, just, he's pathetic looking. He looks so pathetic. He is, but like, the thing of it is, he literally got flown back to the States. Like, what's that, what does that say to you? It's just, like, flown back to the States, out of prison. It's just the whole thing. I don't know what that means. He was in prison for sex trafficking and rape and awful charges. And then Donald Trump basically got him off and flew him back to the States. I just think he feels like he's not all there or something. He seems to me like he's not all there, which, and maybe I'm under, maybe I'm, I don't mean to take away his responsibilities from him, but he just seems like he's not all there.

• 29:25Speaker 00

  Hmm. Or basically someone wouldn't ride him. This is, he seems like a man who no one would ride. And, and he's just fucking kicked off this whole incel culture. Anyway, that's all I have to say about that.

• 29:44Speaker 00

  There was a guy who, hang on, let me just find it. Am I swallowing a lot? Sorry. No, I feel like I'm trying to breathe a lot.

• 29:53Speaker 00

  Okay, I don't know how we're gonna switch into a different topic. Anyway, we will. Microdosing, right, Joanne? Microdosing. I've heard of all this stuff of like, microdosing MDMA when you go and see, like, therapists are doing couples therapy, where they're getting the couples to microdose MDMA because they lose all their inhibitions. And they sit down and they have like, these amazing chats and supposedly it works really well. I remember I did a TV show and it was at a WRT, but like, I wanted to do a Jon Snow on it and like, go into those like, environments and like, microdose stuff to try it and to tell people what it was. Anyway, it didn't happen because WRT couldn't allow it. But men in Ireland, right, a group of Irishmen said they regularly microdose Viagra

• 30:36Speaker 00

  because it transformed their lives by keeping them in a constant state of semi. It boosts focus, confidence and productivity. I'll be honest, I would love to be in a constant state of semi. I think, would it not get sore after a while, no? Well, not fit, well, obviously I don't have a penis, so I, I, I think they just mean that they're in a constant state of arousal. I mean, I, well.

• 31:00Speaker 01

  I'd actually really like that, because the longer you go without having sex, you kind of lose interest in it. I'd love if I was in a constant state of arousal. I'd be out there dogging on the common. I'd be great for my social life.

• 31:11Speaker 00

  Can you imagine? Why have you bought a car, Joanne? Just have.

• 31:18Speaker 00

  Did you ever, I know we've talked about it before.

• 31:20Speaker 01

  You've done no miles, Joanne. You've just literally just driven into the common and back for three years. You've done 14 miles in three years. Just dogging.

• 31:29Speaker 00

  Dogging. Dogging. Supposedly, there's a place in Hampstead Heath, and all of the residents are going mad because it's basically a place where a group of gay men come to meet up and have like group sex. And they just leave condoms and stuff everywhere. And these people are going absolutely crazy about it. But the gay group who are doing it are like, well, sorry, we've been here for ages. This is our thing as well.

• 31:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, this is tradition. This is where we dog. You know?

• 31:57Speaker 00

  Where we dog. I just.

• 32:01Speaker 01

  I actually don't, I actually, I have to hold my hands up and say, I don't actually know what dogging really means. Is it that you drive around looking at people riding? Is it that you drive around, park, and then someone gets into your car and you're riding your car? What is it?

• 32:12Speaker 00

  I watched a dogging documentary, and it basically was like, it was this group of like, there's spots that people decide that there's, that's where the dogging is going to happen. And some couples would go together and they'll basically open their booth and they'll have sex in their booth. And there'll be loads of people looking at them and watching them. Or other people get involved with other people. You've got the wankers at the side, you've got the sexers, and then you've just got everyone who might get involved. But like, they were wearing all these mad masks. Obviously, they were probably wearing the mask for TV, but as well, they sometimes wear the masks because they just want to hide from each other. But yeah, that's what happens.

• 32:46Speaker 01

  There's no dogs involved.

• 32:47Speaker 00

  There's no dogs, no, no dog. I don't know why they call it dogging.

• 32:51Speaker 01

  Maybe that guy at the zoo was goating.

• 32:55Speaker 01

  Maybe he's trying to invent something new. I would love, because I look out onto a park, I would. If I, what I wouldn't do to be overlooking a dogging area.

• 33:05Speaker 00

  Joanne, with her semi looking out.

• 33:12Speaker 01

  My semi and my little opera glasses, you know those operatic binoculars.

• 33:18Speaker 00

  Oh, go on, Yamaya.

• 33:22Speaker 00

  No, I know, I know for a fact, you know that it's like, oh, you should like, you should just try it once, you might like it. I don't think I'd like it ever. I don't think I'll ever try it once.

• 33:30Speaker 01

  Nah, I mean, I've done, I think my days of riding outdoors are over. I really think once you hit your 40s, you're like, I'm an indoor gal now, you know?

• 33:38Speaker 00

  Never say never.

• 33:39Speaker 01

  No, never say never, never say never, never say never. I, I would hope that avenue is still open for me. If there are anyone, if there are anyone, if there are anyone, if anyone listening who is part of the dogging community in the Clapham area, please do get in touch. I'd love to pop along.

• 33:54Speaker 00

  I'd love to know more about, if you can send us in, if anyone has any dogging stories, send them in.

• 33:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, send them in.

• 34:00Speaker 00

  So interesting to hear something like that. Just say Anan, we won't read out your name, but like, we don't know any doggers. Well, I might know one soon, Joanne.

• 34:07Speaker 01

  If the dogging community, if they, if after the dogging event, they go for drinks around Clapham, please, I would love to join. I would love to join for drinks, post-dogging drinks.

• 34:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's going to be post-dogging drinks, then it's going to be pre-dogging drinks, and then she's just going to be, Joanne will be down there with orange segments for everyone.

• 34:23Speaker 01

  I was like, I had a couple of pre-dogging drinks. I can't remember if I dogged or not, but I had a lovely evening.

• 34:33Speaker 01

  I mean, I have to assume I did dog myself, but.

• 34:39Speaker 00

  Whoop, whoop. Oh, no.

• 34:42Speaker 01

  Oh, coming home locked, getting a little pedigree chum. You're like, oh my God, I've been dogging all night, I'm fucking wrecked.

• 34:51Speaker 00

  That wouldn't be the weirdest thing I'd ever hear about you. If you went down that road, it would definitely not be the weirdest thing I've ever heard about you.

• 34:57Speaker 01

  I'd turn up to work the next day wearing those collars that the dogs wear with the lights on them, you know, they don't lose their talk in the park.

• 35:07Speaker 00

  Oh, God. Oh, God. Yeah, no, get in touch. We'd love to hear more about dogging. Joanne, basically, just send a list of where's clothes for Joanne, because she's obviously, yeah.

• 35:19Speaker 01

  Drop a pin. Just drop a pin.

• 35:22Speaker 00

  That harness will come in useful for you finally. You didn't use it for running. You can use it for dogging in the park.

• 35:28Speaker 01

  Oh, I'm allowed to use the harness for dogging on my vogue. Thank you.

• 35:30Speaker 00

  Use it for dogging. Yeah, go for it.

• 35:32Speaker 01

  Because I hate to see you go to waste, but you've embarrassed me too much to wear running. It's not cool.

• 35:39Speaker 00

  Thank you so much for listening, and we are very much looking forward to your dogging stories.

• 35:45Speaker 01

  Big time. And like we said, the exact locations. Would women be dogging much now? Is it very much a male, is it a male hobby?

• 35:54Speaker 00

  I feel like it's more in the Midlands, I think. I don't know why I think that. I've just never heard of in the Midlands.

• 36:00Speaker 01

  Where did you get that from?

• 36:02Speaker 00

  I just feel like when the dogging documentary I watched, they just didn't, it didn't feel like they were near the coastline.

• 36:10Speaker 01

  Okay, okay.

• 36:12Speaker 00

  You never know. It could be happening at Hampstead Heath, right under our noses, and we don't, you know, it's like Battersea Park would be.

• 36:18Speaker 01

  Do you not just say the place with piled high full of condoms?

• 36:21Speaker 00

  Battersea Park would be a fantastic spot. Looking out over the Albert Bridge, absolutely. Very romantic. Very romantic.

• 36:29Speaker 01

  Folks, stop being so lazy. Stop trying to move dogging to your local park so you don't have to venture out.

• 36:34Speaker 00

  Clapham's too open. There's nowhere to hide in Clapham, okay?

• 36:37Speaker 01

  If anyone's dogging in my local area around 5 to 6pm, because I have to put the kids down then, I'm not free. I'm not free late in the evenings, you know.

• 36:45Speaker 00

  I don't, I don't stay up late. I don't, I don't mind getting up at like 5:30am if you'd rather do a morning dog session, but I'm not doing, too late into the night, I'm not doing a late dog session.

• 36:54Speaker 01

  I'm not a morning person. I work nights. If there's a matinee dogging event, I'm happy to attend.

• 37:00Speaker 00

  A matinee would actually really suit us, to be fair. Yeah. I like the idea of that.

• 37:04Speaker 01

  Would you dog me?

• 37:06Speaker 00

  I would. Joanne, the only reason I'd be going would be to.

• 37:13Speaker 00

  Would you dog me?

• 37:17Speaker 00

  You've been dying to dog me for years. The first time I met you, I thought, I am gonna dog her any day now.

• 37:23Speaker 01

  I'll tell you now, if you're 40th, if you slip something into my drink, I'd let you dog me.

• 37:28Speaker 00

  I just said, I'm gonna set up a fake podcast, get her on board and then I'll get her and then I'll dog her.

• 37:35Speaker 01

  I'm just happy to be here, you know, I love animals.

• 37:42Speaker 00

  We're all gonna spot Joanne at the zoo next weekend.

• 37:46Speaker 00

  Robin and dogging.

• 37:53Speaker 00

  We're not slagging off, if anyone has a kink and wants to go dogging, we're not, absolutely not slagging that off. It was just a joke that went too far.

• 38:01Speaker 01

  Not at all, we're not slagging them at all.

• 38:04Speaker 00

  Okay, you say bye.

• 38:05Speaker 01

  That's it for this week. We'll see you soon. I've been Joanne McNally, she's been Vogue Williams and Jo Aschewell is still on maternity leave. We should have flagged that. He will be for a while, that's what happens.

• 38:16Speaker 00

  Don't tell. I had to come back after two weeks because Joanne was getting angry that I was off. I was indeed. Do you remember my rage when you told me we were coming back and I was like, "You've just had a baby, Vogue. Why are we going back to work?" Because I've just had a baby. I need some like human attention that's of an adult.