The Brits, Jim Carrey & Dirty Feet

Vogue was at The Brits this week and Joanne wasn't... BUT that doesn't mean they don't both have opinions... There's also a huge need to discuss Lily Allen's West End Girl tour (let's not be reviewing shows on the opening night, lads, ok?) and there's no way they can't talk about the Jim Carrey story that broke the internet. If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] You can now watch FULL video epsiodes of My Therapist Ghosted Me! Visit www.youtube.com/@mtgmpod and remember to subscribe! Please review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/ For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com https://www.mytherapistghostedme.com/ Joanne's comedy gigs: www.joannemcnally.com https://www.joannemcnally.com/ This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:23Speaker 00

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• 0:32Speaker 01

  This is a Global Player original podcast.

• 0:45Speaker 02

  Welcome to My Purpose Ghosted Me. As usual, it is myself, Joanne McNally, and herself, Vogue Williams, and our support care animal, Jo Attywell.

• 1:03Speaker 02

  Where do we even begin? Where do we begin? What are you drinking? Let me guess, solvos? Yep, and milk thistle. And milk thistle? Why are you sick? Are you sick? Yeah, sure, that's why. Obviously, I've had a nine-night run in the Olympia. It was, as you know, Vogue, very hard to stay on the straight and narrow. Pre-show, post-show, any time of the day, really, for myself. So I was, there were some drinks taken and I'm on the milk thistle. Do you know? Do you know? Okay, so straight into it. I was, I don't say, I don't, I don't watch the Brit Awards. I was reading around the Brit Awards. And I was reading, Harry Styles had a great performance. I thought it was kind of weird and I liked it.

• 1:48Speaker 02

  It made me feel strange and I enjoyed it. But I was reading then about Harry Styles and the day of the performance. Basically, my point is, when I do shows, I'm like, oh, I couldn't possibly do anything today. I have a show tonight. No one contact me. I'm oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I have a show. I couldn't possibly train, walk, exercise. I couldn't possibly do anything. I have a show tonight. Reading about Harry Styles, like, oh, yeah, he was in the gym, 6 a.m. the morning of the show. And I was like, I am a lazy piglet. I need to cop the fuck on. I need to stop giving myself an out for everything. I need to start moving my body, focusing on mobility, strength training, protein intake, Huel, thistle juice, whatever the fuck that is.

• 2:31Speaker 03

  Huel, why have you took Huel in?

• 2:35Speaker 02

  Okay, scrap, scrap Huel, scrap Huel. I don't know what, I don't know what Huel is. I, I, I just mean, I need to start taking some supplements and just start giving myself a pass. And that like, I don't need to physically move on the day of shows because it is an excuse. I'm aware it's an excuse. It's not good enough.

• 2:52Speaker 03

  I, do you know what? I don't think that you need to be that hard on yourself because it is tiring doing shows. Your timing changes around those days. Do you have time to train?

• 3:02Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 3:03Speaker 03

  You do, you do.

• 3:04Speaker 02

  I, I, it's true, it's true. Yeah, and I appreciate the honesty and the, you know, no bullshit approach. If, if Harry, no, more than if Taylor Swift can get engaged. If, if Harry Styles can, can work out the day he's opening the Brit Awards, I'm pretty sure.

• 3:20Speaker 03

  Harry Styles is running subs. Yeah, but he's running sub three marathons. Like, Harry Styles is going to bed after the show. You are whining and dining your friends who are coming to the show. It's not your fault. And tell them to stop showing up. Like, fuck off. Except not me. I'm an out.

• 3:35Speaker 02

  Obviously you're a free pass, but like, sometimes I'll be like, okay, Mary, the tour manager should be like, okay, I'll have the, I'll have the Fiat Punto, the engine on outside the stage door. We're just gonna go, go, go, go. And I'll run off stage in the tracksuit, jump into the Fiat Punto. And we take to the cobblestone streets of Dublin like the Italian mafia. But then inevitably someone says, I'm here, can I come back and say hi after? And I'm like, of course I'd love to see you because I do want to see them. And then, of course, we start drinking and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

• 4:02Speaker 03

  Poor Mary. I'd say Mary's like, great, an early night tonight.

• 4:06Speaker 02

  I know.

• 4:06Speaker 03

  And you're just like, not tonight, Mary.

• 4:09Speaker 02

  She goes then. She goes. Yeah, I don't make anyone wait around anymore.

• 4:12Speaker 03

  Do you remember the three arena when we just decided we owned it and we stayed till like three in the morning? And one time you stayed even later than that.

• 4:19Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, but I do remember hearing that Post Malone like had a lock in there for three days or something mental. So.

• 4:25Speaker 03

  Shut up.

• 4:26Speaker 02

  Because I do think, and I will, and I, sexism is in the room, sexism is in the room. I do find, and I'm not going to name names, but I do think I, as a female performer, and Vogue, you were on board with this in the ghost tour, you are treated differently by venues. Some venues, not all, some venues, and you're like, if I was a male performer, they would never speak to me like that. Or they would never make those demands on me, or they would never kind of cut me off at a certain hour. Whereas female performers who maybe aren't even doing the numbers, but they have more sway in venues. I have noticed that massively, so I push back.

• 5:01Speaker 03

  I kind of feel like that about men in general. I think it's, a lot of the stuff is very different. I just had an interesting chat there because I'm going over to an event next week in Dublin. And she said to me, she's like, I don't really want to ask you how you like juggle family life because I wouldn't ask a man that, but like.

• 5:18Speaker 02

  Because they don't.

• 5:19Speaker 03

  Yeah. And she was, I know, and she was like, so I don't really want to ask that question. I don't mind you asking about my family, but like, that's quite nice that you're thinking along those lines. Finally, people are. It's like when, it's like when like Serena Williams is asked who she's wearing. It's like Serena Williams is like the greatest tennis player ever. Are you not just going to ask her about her goddamn tennis? It's like that woman in the Winter Olympics who I'm a big massive fan of, Iling Gu. And she basically is like, one journalist was like to her, do you think before you speak? Because what you come out with is just so intellectually perfect. Like, she just has the most.

• 5:56Speaker 02

  Evidence of that as well, Vogue. Yeah.

• 5:59Speaker 03

  I am forever getting that. They're like, can you dumb that down for us there?

• 6:02Speaker 02

  I know.

• 6:03Speaker 03

  And I'm like.

• 6:03Speaker 02

  They're like. Between the two of them. Yeah. The IQ of an astrophysicist.

• 6:09Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, I love, I love listening to her answer people back. And she did, she did that thing about when someone said, how do you feel about going two silvers or something like that? And she's like, I have the most decorated Olympian, blah, blah, blah, in this sport. And I just, I love that she just, she's clever. And like, her answers are so fascinating. It's so fascinating to watch somebody talk like that. It's like, what books are you reading that you, this is your general way of speech?

• 6:34Speaker 02

  Well, I'd say it's not the first time she's been nagged by a male journalist. I'd say she's got answers ready to go. And like, the frustrating thing is as well, she's been asked these questions by a lad who probably can't even tie his own shoelaces. Do you know what I mean?

• 6:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:47Speaker 02

  It's very easy to be critical of people who are doing something that you cannot do yourself. And we go to her viewer culture. Lily Allen's West End Girl tour has started.

• 6:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:58Speaker 02

  It looks like a visual masterpiece. It's absolutely beautiful. I wasn't actually expecting that much production. I don't know why. This is only me reading on the internet. I haven't been yet. She started in Glasgow.

• 7:08Speaker 02

  And so it's like getting, it's like, some people are like, it's the best thing I've ever seen. Some people are like, it's a bit short. It's only 45 minutes, blah, blah, blah.

• 7:15Speaker 03

  What? Her whole show is 45 minutes?

• 7:18Speaker 02

  Well, no, because I think she does, I think she's doing some instrumentals at the start of old songs, like not old songs, like songs from her previous album, as is her right. But I was saying, I was reading around it and I was like, well, it's, I would say, as someone who also does shows, my penophile when I started, penophile is definitely longer now than when I started the tour last year. And I think it's definitely better now than when I started the tour last year. And so the problem is when people buy tickets to the first shows, they're so buzzing to go. And they're probably the most enthusiastic people involved on the whole tour. But with that comes a little, you have to just understand that it's the start of a tour. And no matter how much rehearsals or whatever you do at the start, there's always going to be those little things to iron out.

• 8:03Speaker 02

  There's always, they're always going to be a little shorter. I remember when we started our ghosted tour a couple of years ago, and we started, we opened it in the Gayety, do you remember?

• 8:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:11Speaker 02

  And a woman messaged me and she was like, oh, it felt it was a little short. And I was like, it's our first, it's our opening night of something we've worked incredibly hard on. We put a lot of production into, I think she actually called it a cash grab. And I was like, a cash grab? You've no idea how much money we put into making the show. Not a catch grab, but people do, I just think it's important to remember that everything at the start, it's like, it's got little bits to earn out.

• 8:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:35Speaker 02

  It's just the way it is with shows, it's just the way it is with live performance.

• 8:41Speaker 03

  As a, as a like music lover and I adore going to gigs and I really, really enjoy going to see an artist. If I went to see an artist and it was 25 minutes long, I don't think.

• 8:51Speaker 02

  Really? Forty-five minutes? But how long is the album? Cause she, she was very clear, she was like, I'm singing the, this is, I'm, I'm going later and I'm performing the album live. That's what this show is. It was never gonna be like a greatest hits tour or anything like that.

• 9:04Speaker 03

  No, I know, I know that, but like, if you look at, I'm not, listen, Taylor Swift is her own beast, but like, Taylor Swift is doing a three hour tour. That for me would be too much.

• 9:12Speaker 02

  Well, just in case I'm, in case I have it completely wrong, can you just Google Joan, just make sure? Because that I, when I was reading it, I was like, that to me, opening night, I said, what will happen is she'll kind of get more comfortable with it and she'll start chatting to the crowd more and it'll kind of flesh out that way. Or her director, whoever's director will be like, actually, yeah, we could add something here or kind of flesh a little bit out. I just felt, I just was like, I think it's worth saying that at the start of a tour, for me anyway, it's always been the way. The show is, the show gets better as the tour goes on.

• 9:45Speaker 03

  I agree with you there, but I think 45 minutes is, I wouldn't really be happy paying for a ticket that's something that's 45 minutes.

• 9:50Speaker 02

  Well, I'm a big Lily fan, so I'm like, she could get up there and sneeze for seven minutes and I give her a standing ovation. She could be up there.

• 9:56Speaker 04

  It does say in the review that she, it says she only comes on after 45 minutes of a string ensemble. And then delivers the album in full.

• 10:07Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, well, that's a warm up.

• 10:08Speaker 04

  Forty-five minutes of a string ensemble and then the album itself is 45 minutes. So you probably get your 90.

• 10:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, they're getting your 90 and I actually kind of, as a fan of orchestral music, as you guys know.

• 10:19Speaker 02

  God, we know, we know that about you.

• 10:21Speaker 03

  I cannot get enough of this, of the violin.

• 10:26Speaker 02

  Oh, I was like, if she starts going on about orchestral music one more time. But, okay, so I stand corrected then.

• 10:32Speaker 03

  We're happy. Yes, we're happy.

• 10:34Speaker 02

  It was forty five instrumental, which is her gorgeous, delicious warm up. And then she does forty five, basically sings the album. And the place looks absolutely stunning. The production's unreal. The set's beautiful. Yeah, fair play, Lily. I can't wait to see it.

• 10:47Speaker 03

  I will, I will definitely go and see it. Yeah, she's, she's an incredible artist.

• 10:52Speaker 02

  She might, she might, she might ban us now after this.

• 10:54Speaker 03

  But I'm trying to be. Well, she might ban you because you're after pulling a wicked on her.

• 11:01Speaker 02

  Solid ten minutes out of Lily Allen. Loved it.

• 11:05Speaker 03

  Don't judge. Joanne loves Lily Allen so much that she's like, forty five minutes, perfect. Stop complaining. It's enough.

• 11:11Speaker 02

  I could, she could stand up there derma blade and around face for seven minutes and leave. And I'd be like, I loved it. Five stars.

• 11:19Speaker 03

  And you know, she didn't turn up to the Brits.

• 11:22Speaker 02

  Well, she's saving her.

• 11:24Speaker 03

  She, she's saving her voice. I know, but she wasn't singing at, she wasn't singing at the Brits. I kind of love her. She couldn't give a fuck. What a nice way to be. There was a great joke as well. Jack Whitehall made about David Harbour and that.

• 11:38Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, I read that.

• 11:39Speaker 03

  Jack Whitehall's a great, he's a like, Joanne, I think we have to go to the Brits next year. It was a lot of fun, like compared to other award ceremonies. It was like, Jack Whitehall was so funny. I saw Harry Styles for the first time.

• 11:55Speaker 02

  What did you think of his performance? Now, I'm not a muso, but I have opinions, like I said.

• 12:00Speaker 03

  Okay, well, I have opinions, but I'm scared I get in trouble for them. I think Harry Styles is a great performer. His song is brilliant. I don't love when he does choreography.

• 12:14Speaker 02

  I liked the dancing. I, I thought it was weird, but I thought it was intentionally weird. I couldn't look away. I liked the head moves, the weird gestures, the weird faces. Yeah.

• 12:23Speaker 03

  I liked the head stuff. I didn't, I didn't like the like. Dancing with the dancers behind him because it's like me, I only dance with half my body. No, he's a better dancer obviously than me, but I just think he is so cool that he should just be, like the head thing was really cool and sing.

• 12:39Speaker 02

  I loved it.

• 12:40Speaker 03

  But I think him dancing on his, in front of all the dancers outside of that was not my favourite because he's Harry Styles, like he should just be going around owning the stage as he always does and just doing, and doing his own personal dancing, you know what I mean?

• 12:53Speaker 02

  You gotta try something different, you know, you gotta grow, you gotta evolve as an artist. I loved it. I did think it was, it was unexpected. I loved it, the way he moved and he moved, but his face was like, I don't give a shit that I'm moving. I just thought it was, I liked it. I really enjoyed it. Sorry.

• 13:07Speaker 03

  What I will say is 10 out of 10 song, 10 out of 10 ride.

• 13:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's a very handsome man and look, he's working out in show days, so fair play to him. He's, he'll go after. Um, the Rosalia, am I pronoun- pronounce it, pronounce it?

• 13:18Speaker 03

  Oh, Rosalia.

• 13:20Speaker 02

  Rosalia, apologies Rosalia. Jo, did you see this?

• 13:25Speaker 04

  No, I've not seen this.

• 13:27Speaker 02

  She won it best international act, she's a Spanish singer, she, she has a song called Burgheim, but it's, her performance at the, Jo, you have to watch it.

• 13:34Speaker 03

  Performance, it was, it was the performance of the night. I haven't stopped. She's in all my liked Spotify's now. She is so epic, but the performance on the night was so amazing. And then I was like, I'm standing there with Amber and I was like, watching it, cause like you're quite close to the stage, it's really cool. Like I've never been to the Brits and it was like, it was way better than I expected it to be because at the end of the day, it's an awards show and they're quite long. I just thought it was.

• 13:59Speaker 02

  See, I told you, I told you it was right to go in with the catering team Vogue, didn't I? Cause then you'd be moving in and out of the tables and you'd be up the front and that's what you did and fair play to you. Did I say that?

• 14:08Speaker 03

  I.

• 14:08Speaker 02

  You deserve the drinks. That's the best place to be.

• 14:11Speaker 03

  I absolutely would have done that, but she was, um, she was brilliant and she was singing and then I was like, gosh, she's, you know what, she sounds very Bjorky. And then all of a sudden I was like, is that, is that Bjork? And it was actual Bjork on stage.

• 14:25Speaker 02

  Real life Bjork. She's back, baby. Yeah.

• 14:29Speaker 03

  Bjork.

• 14:30Speaker 02

  And then she broke into a techno remix version of her song Burgheim and the lighting. And I was like, oh my God, this is sensational. I think it's one of the best things I've ever seen.

• 14:44Speaker 02

  Up there with Riverdance for me.

• 14:46Speaker 03

  But all the performances on stage were so good like that. Like hers was amazing. Mark Ronson was then amazing. He had like Julepa popping up and he had all these famous people popping up. James Bunton was on stage, but it was just like a mishmash of all these amazing performers. Olivia Dean and oh my God, Ray was on stage. Imagine going to a concert and all those people are there. It was so cool.

• 15:16Speaker 03

  Are you watching on YouTube?

• 15:18Speaker 02

  No.

• 15:19Speaker 03

  Well, you should be. You should be watching on YouTube, actually, John. And if you are watching on YouTube, please, please subscribe. And also subscribe to the folk.

• 15:33Speaker 02

  It's one of those, when I watch things like the Brits, and again, I'm sorry, I, I, full transparency, I don't watch, I just scroll, get the highlights, you know, yourself.

• 15:43Speaker 02

  I'm like, I'd fucking love to be able to sing.

• 15:47Speaker 03

  Do you know what, John? That's all I was thinking. I was like, how can I win an actual Brit Award and be like-

• 15:52Speaker 02

  Because I'm that arrogant that I assume if I could sing a note, I'd be on the Brits. Opening or closing or middle.

• 15:59Speaker 03

  Do you know what? I think that's, I think that is an important way to think about yourself. Like, if you're gonna do something, you're gonna do it properly. Do you know what I thought was really funny? You know, C-Mat, so C-Mat was up for an award and she didn't win, but she does this thing-

• 16:12Speaker 02

  Irish treasure.

• 16:13Speaker 03

  Treasure.

• 16:13Speaker 02

  She is an treasure. What's it called? National treasure? Yeah.

• 16:16Speaker 03

  A national treasure. She's brilliant, but she does this thing. And in like, when, when she doesn't win something, she'll pretend to cry. But it's like this thing between her and her fans that she just takes a piss out of the whole thing by just like, like, but she does it when she's sitting there. So I think those people in the audience are like, oh my God. And I was just like, that is actually, it's so brilliant to do something.

• 16:38Speaker 02

  I think that's a great idea. Take the piss. But like, I've always wondered about when you're not gonna, if you're, if you're not gonna win. Like, that's right. I wondered, did Lily Allen know she wasn't gonna win? And that's why she didn't go. Because, do they know?

• 16:48Speaker 03

  No, I don't think that they know before, but I think they might try and entice people to go. But I just genuinely think Lily Allen is like, you know what, I'm actually doing something that night. So I, I cannot go.

• 16:59Speaker 02

  Also, I, I, the first, I'm not being bad unless I was nominated. And I mean, I can't see how I'm gonna pivot into the music industry. But look, I pivoted from the work to comedy, you don't know.

• 17:07Speaker 03

  I will be back. Are you mad, Joanne? Don't say that out loud. I'll get lumped in at you and I won't get invited back next year.

• 17:14Speaker 02

  Do you remember, Jerry, do you remember the British Podcast Awards? And I, I was nominated, Avril Lavigne, the, Who Killed Avril Lavigne was nominated for the British Podcast Awards. And I was, I was invited. Obviously, I went. And I was hosting, I was like, oh, they asked me to present some awards. And I was like, that's so they, that's to make sure I go. That, I think they even asked if I wa- what, how I would like my name engraved on the trophy.

• 17:37Speaker 03

  Oh, my God, I love that. That's great.

• 17:40Speaker 02

  Yeah. And I was like, this is in the back. Spent 10 grand on hair and makeup, obviously.

• 17:50Speaker 02

  Now, I did get a nice Gaddy image out of the day. But yeah, I mean, I was, I was lured in under false pretenses. So less words.

• 17:56Speaker 03

  Joanne, we need to, as you know, we need to update your online images. So I think that you need to come to the, like, Amber came to Britain this year and we went with, Joanne, how do you say this car company? A U D I?

• 18:10Speaker 02

  Audi.

• 18:12Speaker 03

  You say Audi?

• 18:14Speaker 02

  What do you say?

• 18:15Speaker 03

  I say Audi. I thought Irish people said Audi.

• 18:18Speaker 02

  Am I right or wrong? I don't know. Which is it?

• 18:19Speaker 03

  I don't know. I, no, Audi is right. But I thought Irish people said Audi. Yeah. So we, so we went with them. My God, you wanna see the image champagne? So I got a car up and back with Alistair, who was driving me. Alistair struck gold because he was like, no, I'm your driver for the night. So like, three, four in the morning, if you wanna come home. I was like, Alistair. You are a lucky ducker that you took this ride because my friend, I will be going home early. We will be going to bed.

• 18:48Speaker 02

  The dream. He just did a lap of the block and collected you and you headed off home again. He'd be thrilled with himself.

• 18:54Speaker 03

  Well, what happened was after, after the Brits, I was like, I'm so hungry that I had to go home, order a pasta at the hotel. And then we got changed to go to the after party. And we went to the after party in Gruvermara. We're playing at the Warner after party. But honestly, I, um, I don't know if it's, it's not a social anxiety thing because I do like being out. I don't like being somewhere that is so busy that you can't like turn without touching someone. And it was, I ju, I don't know if it's like, if I was always like that. I think I used to like.

• 19:24Speaker 02

  It's age.

• 19:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think.

• 19:26Speaker 02

  It's age. It is age.

• 19:29Speaker 03

  I just decided, I, I went home after like half an hour. Amber was absolutely, she, Amber doesn't even remember. I, I sent her down to get my pasta while I was changing. And she doesn't remember going down to get the pasta. I was like, Amber.

• 19:40Speaker 02

  It's pre or post show?

• 19:43Speaker 03

  This is post Brits, but I was like, I don't know if we can go to the after party unless you smarten the fuck up.

• 19:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some smelling salts for Amber, please. Some smelling salts. Yeah.

• 19:53Speaker 03

  But now there was, they had just bought, they had maybe nine bottles of champagne on the table. And I was like, we're never going to get through that. We did.

• 20:01Speaker 02

  I love that we can send, I love that we can send you into these events and you can bring us back kind of the glam gossip of it all.

• 20:09Speaker 03

  There, do you know what it is?

• 20:10Speaker 02

  While we're in our pajamas, it's, it's, it's, it's the, it's the perfect setup.

• 20:14Speaker 03

  Well, can I just say, you're gonna have to take a few of them on yourself now. I'm not, I'm not doing all the work anymore. Like, that's a lot of work. Oh.

• 20:21Speaker 02

  Fine, I'll go to the Oscars.

• 20:24Speaker 02

  Fine.

• 20:25Speaker 03

  I'll even think of you, I'll even think of you, go to your back.

• 20:27Speaker 02

  Jessie Buckley was asking like, out or plus one. I said, Jess, honestly, I wish you the best of luck, but I'm just not arsed. But I'll ring her now and I'll go, go on, I'll go with you. Go on.

• 20:34Speaker 03

  Thank you. I'd appreciate that. You know, you know Shabazz, who was on Instagram? I love him. I follow him.

• 20:40Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 20:41Speaker 03

  So he does this thing where he basically talks through people's outfits. Like he did it after the BAFTAs and he did it after the, um, the Brits. And when he came up to me, because I was talking to him on the red carpet and he goes, oh, look at you. You're giving disease.

• 20:59Speaker 02

  Was this the yellow or the black?

• 21:01Speaker 03

  The yellow, the yellow, he was like, oh, the colour is, mm, disease. He kind of gets it spot on. He was saying about Harry Styles, he was like, Harry Styles.

• 21:10Speaker 02

  He said disease now.

• 21:12Speaker 03

  No, it's a lovely dress. He only takes the piss. You know, he has to take piss.

• 21:14Speaker 02

  Liver failure, maybe I would have said, a bit of liver failure.

• 21:17Speaker 03

  Liver.

• 21:18Speaker 02

  Fluoro yellow, yeah.

• 21:19Speaker 03

  John Dizzy. But he said about Harry Styles, he looked like a car, a car salesman and it would be a car that you'd break down in the motorway like five minutes later. And you know, Rosalie Edge, you know what he said about her?

• 21:31Speaker 02

  Go on.

• 21:31Speaker 03

  She was wearing this big, she was wearing this big fluffy outfit and he was like, she looks like dirty chickens from a battery farm. And she just went in and was like, I'll take them.

• 21:39Speaker 02

  This man is going after the Joan Rivers crown. Do you remember Joan Rivers to the fashion police and she was the meanest woman alive? I, I have to say, I think Joan Rivers died in perfect time, just before, because her, her style of comedy was like so on the nose and so funny, but like super bitchy and.

• 21:55Speaker 03

  I, I, I think we need that though. I think that we are like.

• 21:59Speaker 02

  I love it.

• 21:59Speaker 03

  I, people were complimenting me yesterday. I was, I was talking to people yesterday and this person like complimented me three times in a row and I swear to God, I felt so awkward. Like I just was like.

• 22:11Speaker 02

  I know, I know, it's different.

• 22:12Speaker 03

  I'd rather somebody call me disease than.

• 22:15Speaker 02

  I know.

• 22:16Speaker 03

  I just think that I'm like, I can't bear it.

• 22:19Speaker 02

  I know, I'm the same. Although I have to say, I'm very good now at saying thanks. Because like ultimately when someone compliments your top, I'm just so, I go, thanks. I go, yeah, it's cool, isn't it? Cause I, I obviously think it's cool because I bought it. I didn't make it. Um, you know, I'm not saying thanks. I didn't, I didn't like invent the top. And it's like, oh yeah, thanks. I made a good choice in this top. I agree. I made some good decisions. Anything professional now has me. The professional compliments would have me now bailed over in pain and trying to scrub my insides with a brillo pad, but clothes and hair and stuff, I'm happy to take. Speaking of, is this a segue?

• 22:55Speaker 03

  Go on, do it. What is this?

• 22:58Speaker 02

  How will I, how will I segue?

• 22:59Speaker 03

  I'm excited.

• 23:00Speaker 02

  Twist it up. Compliments.

• 23:03Speaker 02

  Someone who wasn't getting compliments this week was? Jim Carrey.

• 23:08Speaker 03

  Bang, she's done it. That was very good.

• 23:11Speaker 02

  Thank you, yeah. Well, he was getting some strange compliments and some accusations.

• 23:18Speaker 03

  Do you know that this story has gone so far that I'm talking about it on Lorraine tomorrow for the entertainment?

• 23:23Speaker 02

  Oh, for God's sake.

• 23:25Speaker 03

  So, thanks for doing the research with me today, Joanne. I'll use some of the jokes you say, I'm gonna say them tomorrow, because they'll come out on Wednesday. Yours won't come out till Friday.

• 23:35Speaker 02

  This is my intellectual property, though, I will do.

• 23:38Speaker 03

  No, let me get my notepad, go on, tell us.

• 23:40Speaker 02

  Well, Jim Carrey.

• 23:44Speaker 03

  I ain't gonna try and say one on air.

• 23:47Speaker 02

  He won an award, he was being nominated, or sorry, he was being celebrated getting some award at the Caesar Awards in France. Nothing to do with the salad, you can have that one, okay.

• 23:57Speaker 03

  And he, he, sorry, sorry, nothing to do with the salad, okay.

• 24:01Speaker 02

  Salad, yeah, nothing to do with the salad.

• 24:03Speaker 03

  I'm gonna try and get that in.

• 24:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 24:06Speaker 03

  I'm gonna screen record it and send it to you.

• 24:09Speaker 02

  Say you might be nominated for the Cobb Awards if you wanted to do a gag there, you can have that.

• 24:13Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 24:14Speaker 02

  For the Caprice.

• 24:16Speaker 03

  Capracy.

• 24:18Speaker 02

  Capracy, yeah.

• 24:21Speaker 02

  But anyway, now bear, now bear in mind, Jim Carrey's been kind of out of the limelight for quite a while. He kind of semi-retired a couple of years ago.

• 24:28Speaker 03

  He's been saying a few strange things, though.

• 24:30Speaker 02

  Well, he's gone spiritual is what Jim has done. He's gone spiritual and he kind of disappeared and he was like, look, I'm not into the celeb life anymore. I've had enough and I want to go off and just paint and be spiritual. And unless some script is like written in 24 karat gold and I feel like the story needs to be told to the world, maybe then I'll come back. Couple of years later, he was the voice of Sonic the Hedgehog 3, which of course he got a little bit of jibing for. But he said, hey, I need the money, which I appreciate, we like honesty. Because that's, that's basically why most people do most things. So, we haven't seen him in a while, so, you know, let's bear in mind, you know, people age and their faces change. Anyway, he turns up at the Caesar Awards. Did a speech and was interviewed after on the red carpet. And there has been accusations, as there always is with the internet, because there's not a sense of

• 25:15Speaker 02

  critical thinking in, in, on the internet. But he, because he looked a little different, a little, a little fuller in the face, a little, the nose was a little broader. The natural journey is, he's been replaced by somebody, it is a conspiracy theory and there is a-

• 25:30Speaker 03

  It's a clone.

• 25:31Speaker 02

  It's a clone. Someone is impersonating Jim because he obviously couldn't be arsed going himself. I mean, Jim's had a lot going on, I'd say he'd go-

• 25:39Speaker 03

  It's the only explanation, and if Putin is doing it, which I heard he does do, allegedly, not that Putin's gonna come and sue me, he's in a bit of hot water himself.

• 25:48Speaker 02

  He doesn't get allegedly.

• 25:49Speaker 03

  Okay, I take the allegedly back. Putin has people that he sends off to, like, lookalikes and stuff like that. Aren't they all on it? The dictators are on it, so why shouldn't Jim Carrey do it?

• 25:58Speaker 02

  Just Putin, well, well, apparently Jim made a comment years ago, I think he used a decoy years ago. He said he was leaving a restaurant, he sent someone out to kind of get the paparazzi off. So obviously people have dug this up and said, but I think the man has the Pino Puff. Like, if anyone, if anyone recognizes Pino Puff, it's me. I was like, he has the Pino Puff. He sleeps facing down like myself, all he needs is an antihistamine and some nice, and a bit of J, uh, J-rolling, and he'll look like himself again.

• 26:26Speaker 03

  I have to be honest with you, I don't agree with you there. I don't think he has the Pino Puff. I think what's happened here is, he's after having some kind of a facelift, he hasn't allowed for the downtime, like, what's his name, Bradley Cooper, remember Bradley Cooper came out and then he started looking like that other fella? Hadn't had the downtime, and so he hasn't let the face settle. The problem with men is, women seem to, like, you look at Kris Jenner, women seem to take surgery, but just, women, it's, men age probably, they get away with it more than women, but when they try to reverse it, it doesn't work as well as it does women. Like, Benicio del Toro, I said he was a ride at the BAFTAs, but like, he hadn't really dyed hair, and I just find men dying their hair,

• 27:08Speaker 03

  it's really hard to strike that balance because you can just, it's so noticeable or something, it just doesn't look right.

• 27:13Speaker 02

  I knew a lad who used to use shoe polish on his hair, God love him. But anyways. Jim Carrey, so the accusations of the clone and everything, they range from genuine suspicion to meme theatre, which are just hilarious or whatever. But like I say, Jim Carrey does not strike me as the kind of person who would get a facelift. He just seems too, he's holistic.

• 27:35Speaker 03

  I feel like-

• 27:36Speaker 02

  No one holistic gets facelifts.

• 27:38Speaker 03

  It feels facelift-y to me. I mean, well, I personally don't think he looks that different, to be honest with you. If no one else had picked up on it, I probably wouldn't have.

• 27:44Speaker 02

  He looks like maybe, he makes, he looks like he enjoys a late night whiskey. He's a man who isn't going to do anything to his face. He's a little, a little, got a little puffier in the face. And remember, the nose never stops growing.

• 28:01Speaker 05

  It's sports' greatest soap opera. And we've got your VIP pass to all the drama. This is Up to Speed, your new Formula One podcast. With me, Will Buxton, David Coulthard, Naomi Schiff and Jolie Sharp. Expect unfiltered race reactions, behind the scenes insight and blockbuster interviews.

• 28:20Speaker 06

  Plus answers to the questions you've always wanted to ask. Like, do everyone drivers pass their driving test first time?

• 28:27Speaker 05

  Spoiler, they don't. When the race weekend's over, we're here to keep you up to speed. Listen and watch today. Search Up to Speed on Global Player.

• 28:38Speaker 06

  Up to Speed.

• 28:46Speaker 02

  There was a video going around, and I'm sorry about Bunny, but the outfit choice was confusing.

• 28:51Speaker 03

  Over the knee shorts and thong flip flops. He's gotten his money's worth out of those thong flip flops. I just can't.

• 28:59Speaker 03

  Have you heard about this thing called looks-maxing?

• 29:03Speaker 02

  No.

• 29:04Speaker 03

  So there's men on the internet who are basically doing things to maximize the looks that they already have. One thing I've heard that they're doing, it's called bone smashing.

• 29:15Speaker 03

  So they literally are taking like little hammers to their face and they're reshaping the bones on their face to like give them a bit of a bit of a bit of a cheek sound. Like imagine you look at your nose.

• 29:26Speaker 02

  Don't make what?

• 29:27Speaker 03

  I'll just take the tip off.

• 29:29Speaker 02

  I hate to bring, I hate to fact check you, I really do, because I don't like to be fact checked either, but are you suggesting that men are taking hammers to their own face and just beating the shit out of themselves in the hope that they turn out hotter?

• 29:41Speaker 03

  Joe.

• 29:41Speaker 02

  Their panel beating their face?

• 29:43Speaker 03

  Just go and look it up, Joe, their panel beating the face, I'm telling you. They look in the face and they said, you know what, just give me a little, like, if I could whack up the old cheekbones, you know what I mean? They're just doing little, and also there's another thing that they're doing, which is called, well, it's called drug use, I've written it down, I.

• 30:01Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 30:02Speaker 03

  So they're microdosing crystal meth. So now, I'm not saying this is all men, but it's a thing that's happening on the internet.

• 30:10Speaker 02

  Hashtag not all men, go on. Can't wait, crystal meth.

• 30:14Speaker 03

  So they're microdosing crystal meth because it's giving them the hollow cheekbone look. Are you looking up the phone smashing, Joe?

• 30:23Speaker 02

  I'm sorry now.

• 30:24Speaker 04

  Sorry, there's a lot of fact checking to be done, I'm trying to do it in order. I know Joanne says she doesn't like being fact checked. It's fairly widely reported that Jim Carrey has said many times he doesn't drink alcohol, so that we need to probably consider.

• 30:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, Joanne. Oh, well, then it's a clone, sorry. That was, that was the only, that was the only excuse for a face that puffy. I've no, I can't, I can't.

• 30:42Speaker 03

  Pinot face whiskey.

• 30:44Speaker 02

  Pinot puff.

• 30:45Speaker 03

  Joanne, for, for God's sake.

• 30:47Speaker 02

  That's what I'm gonna, a Pinot puff girl, that's what I am.

• 30:50Speaker 04

  And bone smashing, yeah, that, that exists, that's a thing that we need to.

• 30:54Speaker 02

  Wow. Wow. They're just kicking the shit out of their own face. I mean, would you not just save up the cash and get a facelift?

• 31:07Speaker 02

  Can I talk about my Australian-New Zealand tour, please, for a sec?

• 31:10Speaker 03

  Only if I can ask you something first.

• 31:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:13Speaker 03

  And I, I'm not going to allow you to. Promote those tours on here anymore unless you promise to bring me back this outfit from a shop called Dish in Australia. I know you're going to be there for a couple of weeks. You have loads of time to go over and I would appreciate that. Thank you.

• 31:24Speaker 02

  Go on. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dish. I'll do that.

• 31:28Speaker 03

  I'll send you, I'll send you a picture.

• 31:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, obviously now we're begging, we're openly begging for them to send it to you, so I won't have to, which is perfect.

• 31:35Speaker 03

  No, no, I followed them and everything. I, I went in when I went to the jungle and I got loads of stuff, but now I'm like, oh my God, I want that, but I don't want to pay the import fees. And I was like, my friend Juman is on tour in Australia.

• 31:46Speaker 02

  Get in touch. I'm, I'm gonna come in. I'll be like, I'll be like one of those people who'll demand the shop is shut down for my visit. And they'll be like, who are you? You absolute loser. I'd be like, Dish, I'm on my way in.

• 31:56Speaker 03

  It'll get you out of the house, you're on. You said you wanted to start doing stuff when you were on tour.

• 32:00Speaker 02

  I do, I do, I do. So obviously I'm out in Australia, New Zealand for April, basically. And we've just added three last shows and that, that's it. So the shows are selling well, thank God. So thanks to everyone who bought tickets. So places that I have, there, there's some tickets left for Wellington on the 16th of April. And we've also added a Melbourne on the 12th of April. And I've added a Perth, a 6:45 PM show on the 23rd of April and a 6:45 PM extra Sydney on the 29th of April.

• 32:34Speaker 03

  That's my, I think that's my, I think that's an ideal time.

• 32:37Speaker 02

  It's an ideal time. Yeah, yeah. So we've squeezed in some earlys because I can't stay either. I can't stay, I can't go earlier or stay later in the month. So we're squeezing in some earlier shows on the days of other shows because I love you and I'm willing to do that. I'm willing to double drop.

• 32:53Speaker 03

  Well, you can go out in the days that you're double dropping. So just make sure there's a little bit of time to go shopping for moi.

• 32:58Speaker 02

  Of course, of course. This'll, I'll be like two shows. I can't possibly do anything during the day. Can't possibly do anything. Don't even open the curtains.

• 33:07Speaker 03

  Do you want to hear about my favourite thing I've seen on the internet this week?

• 33:09Speaker 02

  Is it Benny Blanco's feet?

• 33:11Speaker 03

  Fucking hell, that was another thing. Jesus Christ, let's talk about his feet first. Honestly, the rudeness of that.

• 33:18Speaker 02

  He's blaming the venue. Benny Blanco, Selena Gomez's husband, who is a bit eccentric, I would say, has started a podcast and they're obviously filming it. And it's a new studio and he has his feet up on the couch, shoeless, and his feet look like he has basically wandered out of a forest. Or that he's been raised by wolves for the last 10 to 15 years. They were fairly dirty. Now, listen, I'm not a hygiene freak, but if I thought my feet were going to be on camera, and I know what it's like to be foot shamed. Remember those photos of me and Grease that ended up on my footopedia or whatever it's called? Because I hadn't managed to get a pedicure in time. Sorry, sorry, sorry. And it brought down my rating completely. So I understand what it's like to be foot shamed, but come on now, Benny.

• 34:00Speaker 03

  Benny Blanco's feet, and they were not just trotters that have been walking around a dirty floor for five minutes. They were like well, no, no, no, they were well worn feet. And also, he was sitting there on that podcast, by the way, farting. Imagine I sat here and just started farting in front of you two. He is just, I think he's a bit.

• 34:19Speaker 02

  That's, yeah, he's a bit, yeah, he's a bit, it's a bit, it's all a bit, it's all a bit frat boy, isn't it? It's all a bit teenage.

• 34:26Speaker 03

  As a clean freak, if his feet are that dirty and your feet are washed in the shower, there's something. I'd say, I just think he's smelly now. Now I'll always think there's that smelly man.

• 34:39Speaker 02

  Listen, she's mad about him and, you know, she, she, she obviously sees something we don't see. It was very much like when Cher did the interview with Doc Shepherd and Kirsten Bell, Kristen Bell, Kirsten Bell, which is a joke. Kristen Bell and Cher looked Doc Shepherd up and down like he was a bin bag and said, she obviously sees something in you I don't see. And it was quite uncomfortable because she meant it. It was very clear she meant it. So listen, Selena obviously sees something Benny Blanco, but I would recommend, I mean, if you're a videographer on a shoot, like if I walked up to a shoot, like someone would be like, would you, the stylist, someone would be like, would you rub a cloth over that foot there?

• 35:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, you can't just, like, someone was, someone was looking at those feet and I wouldn't want those feet on my couch either. Sorry, they're filthy.

• 35:21Speaker 02

  Filthy.

• 35:22Speaker 03

  Anyway, that's not who I was talking about. My favourite person on the internet this week. Was some, someone called at sometimes Nike. So she is an influencer and she was on that page, you know, influencer, influencers in the wild.

• 35:35Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 35:37Speaker 03

  I dread the day I show up on that.

• 35:39Speaker 02

  Throwback.

• 35:42Speaker 03

  So she basically has set up an Instagram page and it's called Naturally Baby Teeny. Mommy, is that me? She's put up a picture of herself pregnant, looking in the mirror and she's pretending to be the unborn child and the child is saying, mommy, is that me? And then the mother is writing back saying, of course, it's you, my princess.

• 36:04Speaker 02

  What? I'm at my, what?

• 36:06Speaker 03

  So the mom has set up this Instagram page. She's pregnant. She takes a picture of herself in the mirror, pregnant. And then she set it up in the baby's name, as if it's the baby's Instagram page. Then the baby asks the question, the baby in the womb.

• 36:18Speaker 02

  Oh, for God's sake.

• 36:19Speaker 03

  Says, says mommy, is that me? And then the mom writes back and says, of course, it's you, my princess.

• 36:26Speaker 02

  I understand people being excited about having kids, but can we just rein it in? I don't want to listen to the, I don't want to listen to your fetus chatting to me through an Instagram account.

• 36:35Speaker 03

  Mommy, it's me. Is that me?

• 36:39Speaker 02

  There's a term called sharinging. Have you heard this term?

• 36:42Speaker 03

  Sharinging? Where people share?

• 36:44Speaker 02

  Yeah. Parents sharing.

• 36:46Speaker 03

  Hang on, we've got trouble here. Hello, darling.

• 36:50Speaker 02

  Right on cue.

• 36:52Speaker 03

  No, mind your handies.

• 36:55Speaker 03

  You want to see what he was saying to me yesterday?

• 36:57Speaker 02

  Oh, fuck. Is that fuck in a really English accent? I love it.

• 37:02Speaker 03

  He told me to fuck, he told me to fuck off yesterday, in the right context, in the right context.

• 37:08Speaker 02

  What you mean by context is in like you did something deserving or can you tell it to fuck off? Smart baby. I deserve it in fairness. I did deserve it. Yeah. He called me out my shit right off.

• 37:18Speaker 03

  I think I, I think I asked him to brush his teeth and he goes, fuck off.

• 37:26Speaker 02

  Well, this is very encouraging because you know what they say, the more you swear, the smarter you are.

• 37:32Speaker 02

  You're building a rain man over there. I love it.

• 37:35Speaker 03

  You're not meant to do anything, but I had to record that video to hammer. But you're meant to ignore it. But like when he's downstairs saying fuck's sake and stuff, I'm literally like, I can't even look at him.

• 37:44Speaker 02

  Where did they get us?

• 37:46Speaker 03

  Well, where did you think he got fuck's sake? Who says fuck's sake all the time?

• 37:49Speaker 02

  You.

• 37:50Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 37:50Speaker 02

  Yes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:53Speaker 03

  Theodore Gigi Nobod, where's that? And they'd never say it. Like TT was ratting someone out yesterday. He was like, this boy in reception, he said, fuck off. And I was like, did he get in trouble? No, it was after school. And he went, and as he walked out, he told, he told three different families about this boy.

• 38:09Speaker 02

  Did you ever see that video that went around? It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I think it was a nativity play and there was a little girl and she took the microphone and she was like, everyone in my class is really sweet. Do you remember this video?

• 38:22Speaker 03

  No.

• 38:22Speaker 02

  Except for one little boy. And then everyone just grabs the mic off her and she just walks off waving and she was about to just go Chernobyl on one lad in her class. Everyone gets to be like, except for one little boy. And she's her little finger up. I was like, she's gonna put this four-year-old on blast in front of the whole school.

• 38:43Speaker 03

  Fair play.

• 38:44Speaker 02

  I was like, this is how I flourished as a kid. So they probably had to get married.

• 38:50Speaker 07

  Observe the North American dad. 50s. Great polo collection. He enters his vehicle information on Carvana. An offer appears in minutes. Remarkable. He squints, reads it again, smiles and says, dang, that's a good offer. The highest form of approval. No haggling, no hassle. No one called him boss. He's still on the couch. Astonishing. Sell your car today on carvana.com. Pickup fees may apply.

• 39:25Speaker 02

  I'm still just kind of enjoying thinking about Wuthering Heights, to be honest.

• 39:29Speaker 03

  Stop. I haven't watched it. I still haven't seen it.

• 39:41Speaker 03

  Oh my God. Sorry. Can we just do a little culture pocket or corner, whatever we call it?

• 39:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:46Speaker 03

  Who has watched on Disney Plus, it's called Love Story. It's about Carolyn and John F Kennedy Jr. And it is.

• 40:01Speaker 02

  Stunning.

• 40:02Speaker 03

  You've seen it?

• 40:03Speaker 02

  I haven't seen it yet. I haven't seen it yet.

• 40:05Speaker 03

  You're so lucky. There's five episodes. They come out on Fridays. It is like, I started watching it on the way to Manchester and I finished it by the time I was getting back and it was just.

• 40:15Speaker 02

  Oh, great.

• 40:16Speaker 03

  It's the kind of, I was trying to take my phone out when I was getting my makeup done. I was like, that's a bit rude. Just stop watching it. But it's so addictive to watch. Oh, that's mine for the week.

• 40:25Speaker 02

  I love a love story. I love a love story. Well, so my culture corner, I haven't been yet, but when I go, I will tell you. I booked a single ticket, single woman day eight to go and see Cynthia Erivo in Dracula in the West End. I booked a little matinee for myself. She plays all the roles and 20,000 lines she has. She was recommended to me by Louise O'Neill. She was saying the first opening, like there was a bit of, they were saying that she was kind of struggling with some of the lines. I'm like, yeah, because she's 20,000 of them. Apparently now she's nailed it. So I can't wait.

• 40:59Speaker 03

  That's a nice little date for yourself.

• 41:01Speaker 02

  Isn't it?

• 41:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:02Speaker 02

  Good afternoon, G and T and me, just me and Cynthia. Just me and Cynthia.

• 41:05Speaker 03

  I kind of, I don't know. And this is mean of me because I think it's just after that wicked press tour. I'm a bit like, ooh, I don't know.

• 41:12Speaker 02

  No, she's phenomenal.

• 41:14Speaker 03

  Can I just say, I did meet her at the BAFTAs like three years ago and she was very nice.

• 41:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:19Speaker 03

  It was before her, it was before her wicked stuff.

• 41:21Speaker 02

  She's an artist.

• 41:23Speaker 03

  Do you know what popped up on my Instagram today?

• 41:25Speaker 02

  Me.

• 41:26Speaker 03

  You, of course. You pop up, not Joe. Don't see Joe very often. Adele, basically, you know Adele, the singer, big like Adele. She's.

• 41:34Speaker 02

  No. Who?

• 41:37Speaker 03

  I mean, I don't, I don't even know, she doesn't have a second name, just Adele.

• 41:40Speaker 02

  Just Adele. Do you remember when I was due to go and see her in the Sphere in LA and she called in sick?

• 41:46Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 41:47Speaker 02

  Do you remember?

• 41:48Speaker 03

  But sure, you were, you were having a ball at U2 at your pal Dave Grohl.

• 41:51Speaker 02

  We went to U2 then, yeah, yeah, yeah, we went to U2 then, yeah, yeah, yeah, we did.

• 41:54Speaker 03

  So Adele, I, I, I do love, I love a divorce story, like when you, when someone's trying to do you out of something and then, and then they don't win. So Adele, when she was getting divorced from her husband, Simon Knecky, they were married for seven years, they have a child together. So he asked for half of her $380 million fortune of money.

• 42:17Speaker 02

  In the words of our great philosopher Otto, fuck off.

• 42:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, fuck.

• 42:22Speaker 02

  Fuck you, fuck off.

• 42:25Speaker 03

  So her team were preparing to pay, I love this story, her team were preparing to pay him $190 million. Then she had a forensic accountant and he found, he found a receipt. Yeah, a receipt that changed everything. So it was from, it was, will I start whispering? Does that make it sound better? It was from 2017, his credit card, he used it at a hotel restaurant in Paris, but do you know what? Adele wasn't in Paris, she was in London, recording that week. And so what the investigators then did was pull the hotel CCTV and found him checking in with a woman, staying for three nights, using their joint account to pay for the getaway.

• 43:10Speaker 03

  He cheated and used her money to fund the affair. Now, California law.

• 43:16Speaker 04

  CCTV from that long ago?

• 43:19Speaker 03

  Joe, don't ruin my story.

• 43:20Speaker 02

  It's, it's Adele.

• 43:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, Joe.

• 43:23Speaker 02

  She can turn back time. She, you know.

• 43:26Speaker 03

  That's Cher, but Adele, maybe she could too.

• 43:32Speaker 02

  They both can collaboratively.

• 43:34Speaker 03

  Well, come here to me. The reason that they could do this is because in California, they have an infidelity breach. And so if one person commits adultery and uses community funds, they forfeit their right to equal asset division. So basically, they had the receipts for it. And he spent $47,000 on his affairs. And so he didn't get 50 50. Now, he's still, he's still got 50 million, but he was due 190 million. So he lost 140 million because he's a dirty fucking dog. And I hope he'll pay tax.

• 44:08Speaker 02

  If I was having an affair with the Dallas husband, I'd expect more than 47 grand spent on me, considering how much money he has access to. That's my take from it. Cheap bastard. This is all very, is it Whitney Houston? What's that song where she goes through the receipts?

• 44:22Speaker 03

  It's not right, but no.

• 44:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:26Speaker 02

  Friday night, you and your boys went out to eat.

• 44:32Speaker 02

  Then they hung out.

• 44:34Speaker 03

  And you hung around three.

• 44:36Speaker 02

  Yes, you did. If six of y'all went out.

• 44:40Speaker 03

  Then four of you were pretty cheap.

• 44:44Speaker 02

  Cause only two of you had dinner. Found your credit card receipt. Yeah, you always got to keep an eye on the lads, don't you?

• 44:51Speaker 03

  Do you know what a loser I am? I remember when that song came out, it was before I owned a car. And my dream was to have like a convertible car. So I could listen to that song on full volume with my friends driving around. I was like, I look so fucking cool.

• 45:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, you would. And you would have.

• 45:13Speaker 03

  Who wronged me? My dad. He got me a Skoda Fabia saloon in burnt orange.

• 45:18Speaker 02

  Love. Where is it? Iconic. But when that Whitney song came out, you're like, this is so, these lyrics are so specific. Do you know when you're like, this is like, she's actually reading from her diary. Like, she's not even pretending to kind of dress it up.

• 45:34Speaker 02

  So Vogue, I got quite the fright today.

• 45:37Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 45:38Speaker 02

  I was spinning through the papers, ticking through the headlines, and I saw Katie Taylor named Grand Marshal of St Patrick's Day Parade, and I went, oh my god, Vogue has been sacked already. Scandalicious.

• 45:53Speaker 03

  I was looking in the news.

• 45:54Speaker 02

  Got a fright, and then it went in the US. And I was like, oh, thank god, her role is safe.

• 46:00Speaker 02

  Her role is safe.

• 46:01Speaker 03

  Are you telling me there's a spot for me in the US next year?

• 46:05Speaker 02

  I didn't know. Katie Taylor lives in Cape Cod with her husband, who's a widower, and with five, he has five children. Jesus, Katie, fair play. I did not, I didn't know that.

• 46:15Speaker 03

  Sorry.

• 46:15Speaker 02

  And so we have you in Dublin.

• 46:17Speaker 03

  Katie Taylor, the boxer, the boxer.

• 46:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's married to a man whose wife obviously passed away, and so she's the stepmother to five children.

• 46:26Speaker 03

  I'm gonna, I'm gonna.

• 46:28Speaker 02

  Loves them very much. That's quite the undertaking.

• 46:30Speaker 03

  That's what I say to Neil. I'm like, Jesus Christ, she must have really loved my mother.

• 46:35Speaker 02

  It's a lot. She seems like a lovely person.

• 46:37Speaker 03

  I like her even more now that she would do something like that.

• 46:40Speaker 02

  I know, I know, I know. They're obviously very special kids.

• 46:43Speaker 03

  Well, I wish her well.

• 46:44Speaker 02

  We wish her well as a fellow grand marshal. We have you in Dublin, and we have Emma Daberry in London. Do you know Emma Daberry?

• 46:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 46:52Speaker 02

  She wrote the book Don't Touch My Hair. Yeah, so all the women are shining for the Dublin, Dublin Marshall parades. No men, no men that I can see.

• 46:58Speaker 03

  Oh my god, I'm so excited. It's a bit, like, I, I still don't know what I'm fully wearing, yet I think I'm gonna wear, like, a really nice Paul Costello jacket. I have to wear Irish.

• 47:07Speaker 02

  You gotta wear Irish. Imagine you rocked up in Alexander Wang. It's like, no, no, no, read the room, read the room. Yeah.

• 47:13Speaker 03

  Just, just an Alexander, no, Alexander McQueen, just like a British flag dress.

• 47:19Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Union Dress Flag that Jerry Halliwell wore in the Spice Girls. Perfect.

• 47:24Speaker 03

  That's what I'm wearing. That's what I'm wearing.

• 47:26Speaker 02

  Get it, girl.

• 47:31Speaker 03

  Thank you, everyone, for listening. That was, I thought I've had a great time, guys, and I hope you have all had a great time listening. And do subscribe to our YouTube.

• 47:38Speaker 02

  I want to listen to Rosalie again. I mean, it like, what, what a tune. It like, to say, it'd make you wanna hit the town. It'd make you wanna hit the town.

• 48:13Speaker 01

  This has been a Global Player original production.