Pod Insights My Therapist Ghosted Me MTGM EXTRA! "My body took over and I left." About this episode Let's go through some of the names that come up during this podcast... Nigel Farage. Michael Jackson. Kanye. Wow. Luckily, the lawyers were on hand to give it a listen through and here we are. Closer to home, Joanne has a full hair emergency, so bad that the podcast had to be recorded at a different time and Vogue explains why she wouldn't be thrilled to wear a MAGA hat.
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Transcript 0:02 Speaker 00 There is a God. I often wondered was there a God, but now I realise with that stroke of luck, there is.
0:11 Speaker 01 I love you so much, but I just, I didn't even have your back for one second with this because I know that you're in the wrong.
0:17 Speaker 00 How does he think he's gonna get away with saying he's got a part in his tenders?
0:25 Speaker 01 I have had a very, very busy weekend.
0:30 Speaker 00 Oh, yeah.
0:32 Speaker 01 All I've done for the whole weekend, obviously there was work and stuff involved, but like, let's forget it. My main takeout from this weekend was Carl Cox. I don't care about your footballer fella, Joanne. I want somebody as cool as Carl Cox.
0:48 Speaker 00 Where did you, where, what, where did this come from?
0:51 Speaker 01 I go on these mental, like, remember it was Bad Bunny a couple of weeks ago? Then I had a little look at your footballer. I decided he wasn't really for me, to be honest with you. And I didn't want to fight with you about it anyway. And I could see Ruth Langford in the comments talking about that she was into him. And I thought, I'm not into this now. It's turning into a hen fight. And so I saw a video of Carl Cox playing this like castle in France. And he did, you know that Blade song from the, from the movie Blade? And he just DJed that. And I was like,
1:21 Speaker 00 No.
1:22 Speaker 01 He is the coolest one. So straight onto chat GPT, how much is it to have Carl Cox in your house? Because obviously I can't go out at night.
1:29 Speaker 00 Okay, yeah.
1:30 Speaker 01 Thirty to fifty grand. I would like to go fund me.
1:35 Speaker 00 Sorry, folk, you've got cash down the back of your couch. Would you stop with your GoFundMe?
1:39 Speaker 01 Joanne, I'm in the middle of a renovation. Okay?
1:43 Speaker 00 So all the money has been taken. You did that in your console. Is that what they call that little bit in the car? It's always got sticky bits. Mine's got like lollypops and all in it.
1:50 Speaker 01 In the ashtray, the old ashtray.
1:52 Speaker 00 Ah, it's the old ashtray.
1:53 Speaker 01 Sixty grand.
1:56 Speaker 01 So I'm just gonna, I'm gonna start my GoFundMe and if anyone, if everyone would like to share it, you can stand outside the house and you can, you can catch the music from outside, but Carl will be in my house and it will just be me and Carl. I'll just be listening to him DJ.
2:13 Speaker 00 I think that's a great use of your money and if that happens, please invite me down. I'll bring, I'll bring, I'll bring my paddling pool. We can set up as a pool party. I ordered another paddling pool. The pump has arrived. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's full. I beat the vibes in the garden.
2:26 Speaker 01 I mean, you're talking about me swimming in money. I saw how much you spent in the first one. You are loaded.
2:32 Speaker 00 Oh yeah, the red, the, um, what was it? Like a hundred quid? The red lip one, I know. Yeah.
2:39 Speaker 01 Did you get another lip one?
2:40 Speaker 00 No, I didn't. I didn't. I went basic. I went, I went like standard practice, just rectangular pool now.
2:49 Speaker 01 Now, as a paddling pool connoisseur, I've got one in the house. We, we basically, I'm actually, I'll do a video of our garden. I have, it's probably a four metre by five metre garden and in that there's a paddling pool. There's two chairs, there's a table. There is a two-person sauna that is like a standing up coffin.
3:09 Speaker 00 Yeah.
3:09 Speaker 01 And a trampoline. So there's no room, you can barely walk there, but the, but the paddling pool, what I will say is either you're gonna have to put it on your grass, which I think might ruin your grass.
3:20 Speaker 00 Hmm.
3:21 Speaker 01 Or you need to get like sponge flooring for underneath.
3:27 Speaker 00 Oh, yeah. Yes. Yes. I was, I was looking at how I was gonna elevate it.
3:33 Speaker 01 That's how you elevate it. Okay, fine. I have a slide, a blow up slide, doesn't fit in my garden. You can have it. And it goes over the edge of the paddling pool.
3:42 Speaker 00 I wouldn't be averse to it, you know? Like, I mean, I'm here to, I'm, I'm here to have my tepid girl summer. And if that involves throwing myself down a plastic slide, I'm like, I, I can see myself doing it. I just don't wanna, I just don't want any injuries. Do you know what I mean? I don't want anyone's going into the deep end of the paddling pool and like breaking their neck. I watch a lot of that kind of stuff on TikTok. People, do you remember the story about the woman, his bridesmaid threw her into the pool on her hen party? And she's like, never walked since.
4:11 Speaker 01 Oh my god, I've heard, like, and I've met somebody who actually dove into a pool and broke. So like, you know the way you always hear it, but I've actually met somebody who has, broke his neck, yeah.
4:21 Speaker 00 Yeah.
4:21 Speaker 01 Never walked since. So you're gonna get a no diving sign for your pool?
4:25 Speaker 00 Yes, into the paddling field of, at the, at the deep end, which would be at my ankles.
4:31 Speaker 01 No, heavy petting is allowed. Heavy petting is allowed.
4:33 Speaker 00 It's summer, Jo.
4:34 Speaker 02 Fine. Heavy petting. Please, heavy petting.
4:38 Speaker 00 Yeah. No, no, you're light petting, unless it's heavy. We're not interested.
4:45 Speaker 00 I want some heavy.
4:47 Speaker 01 Hello, I'm here for a heavy pet.
4:49 Speaker 00 Yeah. Heavy petting. Backing slowly into any lot I can see. I'm here, it's summer. I'm here for a heavy, heavy pet.
4:59 Speaker 00 I just wanna say thank you to everyone who came to the Liverpool and Manchester shows at the weekend. I honestly thought I would be rolling around in there on my own because of the heat and like the fact that they would have been at, like, I would have lost them to the beer garden. And they actually made the effort to come and I greatly appreciate it. Moving on from that.
5:15 Speaker 01 No, hang on, I have to ask something. And I'm sorry to the person that mailed me, but like, there's certain things I'll contact Joanne with, but there's certain things I won't contact her with when she's ready to go on stage.
5:30 Speaker 00 Was this the woman out the front who they wouldn't let in? Yeah. She mailed you as well.
5:37 Speaker 01 And I actually felt so bad for her. I was like, oh no, I hate when that happens.
5:42 Speaker 00 Yeah.
5:43 Speaker 01 And then the end, she was like, and if you can't swear it out, I hope she has a good show. And I was like, I can't be getting on to Joanne, asking her to go out and get a pissed girl in.
5:51 Speaker 00 Yeah, we can't, I know, I know. And because sometimes, like, I, she, I've had many of those mails over the years, well, a couple of those messages over the years from women in the queue who are being refused entry. And I, like, obviously I'm in show mode, so it's not, I can't really go out and start getting involved with the queues and security and stuff. But as well, like, I have to kind of trust that they're, the security guys are right, because I'll be honest, there's a lot of women getting in that I'm like, oh. Like.
6:21 Speaker 00 If they're coming in, I can only imagine what's not coming in.
6:24 Speaker 01 What's the line? Like, what is the line at your shows? Is the vomiting, the vomiting is over the line and then it's like, as long as you can walk, doesn't have to be in a straight line, but as long as you can kind of get yourself into your seat, you can go in.
6:37 Speaker 00 I don't know what, I don't, I don't, yeah, as long as you can feel your way, as long as you can feel your way to your seat. Yeah, but, but no, I like the shows. I always make them sound like there's some like feral, like kind of everyone's just like vomiting into Zara jackets. That's not the case. But like I say, if the lads on the door.
6:56 Speaker 01 There's, there's no one sober in there now, in fairness. Come on, you do, I lose the run of myself when I go to your shows as well.
7:01 Speaker 00 It's got an energy. It's got an energy.
7:04 Speaker 01 I'm going to one at Christmas. I'm going to one at Christmas. Well, I might do two, but I'm definitely going to one.
7:07 Speaker 00 It's got an energy. I just, sometimes I worry because I had a woman message me once and she was like, the way you talk about your shows, I'd love to go, but I'm like scared. And I was like, no, it's not. We probably just, but I will say Manchester and the, and the Palace, they, they drank them out of wine. That's my girls. Yeah, drank them completely out of wine. Anyway, sorry. So I'm sorry to that woman who couldn't get in. Um, but it's, you know, I can't be, I can't be inserting myself into security. I have to trust that they are doing their job. You know yourself. It's, people are more pissed as well because the sun, they're fermenting like fruit flies. It dehydrates you out more.
7:42 Speaker 01 Ah, you gotta like, you come on, you gotta just go back to basics. You gotta have a good meal, right? You gotta, you need to, like, it's like, if you're gonna go out for the whole day, you have to prepare yourself. You gotta hold back a little bit, even though you don't want to hold back. It's, it's tough, but it can be done. It can be done. But this woman didn't pass the test, unfortunately.
8:03 Speaker 00 Also to the, to the woman in Liverpool in the third row who, who sat with her hand up for, I'd say 40 minutes. I'm sorry I didn't come to you for your question. I have to keep going. I have to keep the show moving.
8:17 Speaker 01 I'd love to know what the question was, to be honest with you.
8:19 Speaker 00 Well, she left then.
8:20 Speaker 01 Stop.
8:21 Speaker 00 She had her hand up like a jelly in school.
8:22 Speaker 01 She was probably asking if she could go.
8:26 Speaker 01 Excuse me, Joan, I know, I know, would you mind if I left? I'm okay, I'm dogged dealing errors.
8:31 Speaker 00 I was like, you're free to go, free to go, free to go, free to come and to go, free to come and go.
8:37 Speaker 00 Do you know, do you know when you're kind of, I was, I made an executive decision, I was like, I'm not gonna, I'm not going to engage here because she looked a little wobbly and she's the hand up and I, it's like, do you know, you're like, ah, come on now, we can't be doing Q and As, we have to keep, we have to keep this thing going. Like, it's hot.
8:53 Speaker 01 Maybe she wanted a birthday shout out, Joan, for God's sake.
8:57 Speaker 00 It's hot in here, you know, me and the girl, us, we're sweating, we need to keep this, we need to keep it moving.
9:03 Speaker 00 Anyway, all that aside, I noticed this fog, I was already, I noticed this little clump in my hair. Jo, you know where I have like extensions now?
9:12 Speaker 02 Yeah, they are, they are massive.
9:16 Speaker 00 I thought you were gonna say majestic, but yes, there.
9:18 Speaker 02 They are, they're majestic, you're like a lioness, if lionesses had a mane.
9:23 Speaker 00 Yeah.
9:23 Speaker 01 Can I just caveat this by saying, I did feel like it was going a little bit too well.
9:28 Speaker 00 Yeah.
9:29 Speaker 01 I thought she's really, I thought she's really coping a lot better with these than I thought she would.
9:34 Speaker 00 Yeah. I, and I was, and I was, I was, I thought I was looking after them and I was brushing them and I thought I was on top of it.
9:43 Speaker 00 She wasn't on top of it, dear reader, she was not on top of it. I found this little clump at the back and I was like, well, that feels a little knot there. And then I went around and found a couple of little more knots and I, that back of my hair, there's like four, I would say giant matted chunks of steno's where I think the K-tip, the glue, the glue has like melted into my hair and it's honestly like, they're like dreadlocks, they're like, I have four fat, juicy, girthy dreadlocks at the back of my head now, which I have, there is no budging them, there is no moving them, I've done everything. So I'm off into, I'm taking an ambulance into town now after this.
10:23 Speaker 02 That's why we're recording early.
10:25 Speaker 00 Surgery, yeah.
10:26 Speaker 02 You said you had a hair emergency and this is it.
10:29 Speaker 00 Yes, this is the hair emergency, I look, I've had like a sheep's arse and I'm feeling like a tarot.
10:34 Speaker 01 I have to be honest. You've got to, I take some salpo's. You need to have some salpo's because that happened to me once before in Australia. I had my hair done in Australia years ago when I lived there. And I, I was wearing, I even remember the colour of the shirt. And I was wearing a shirt in to get them all out because they'd all gone matted. And the whole back of my shirt was just sweat. Because it was just like someone always constantly picking at your hair. It's not, it's not the nicest, just I'd load up on some, some.
11:04 Speaker 00 Yes, I was.
11:05 Speaker 01 I'd see them all.
11:06 Speaker 00 There was a lot of advice in the DMs because obviously I took it to the internet because, why wouldn't you? I love chatting to the internet. And there was a lot of people saying like, I'll put fairy liquid in them. Then there was, I don't think they understood like the extent of what the problem was. But there was a woman contacted me from a salon in Peterborough.
11:23 Speaker 01 If Joanne ever gets on to anyone for advice in the DMs, please just ask her to seek professional help. We don't want Joanne sitting in her kitchen pouring fairy up liquid into the back of her hair.
11:36 Speaker 00 Fairy up, fairy up liquid. It must do something. Fairy liquid, I think, I think it does strip, like I'd say it's useful in certain situations.
11:45 Speaker 01 It's great for washing your makeup brushes.
11:47 Speaker 00 There you go. But anyway, there was a woman contacted me from a salon in Peterborough. And she said they are like specialists in un-mattening hair extensions. And she said it's an absolute nightmare and a lot of, a lot of salons won't deal with it because it takes. It takes like, I sent Hadley the video with the back of my head and he goes, that's a day job. So get in as early as you can. That's why I had to move the pod.
12:08 Speaker 01 Anyway, that sounds like a nice day for you. I'm excited for you.
12:12 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah. Well, look, any excuse to take a couple of salpo's, you know yourself.
12:15 Speaker 01 Do you think we should maybe take the stenos out for a little while? Just for your hot girl summer, we'll take the stenos out and then maybe we'll revisit them in the cooler months.
12:24 Speaker 00 I think I will. Do you know what? They're all kind of coming out now. I think they're naturally moving away from my head as it stands. So I think it's time, I think it's time to go back to my, my little bob and then maybe strap the hair back in for winter. That's what I'm thinking.
12:37 Speaker 01 Joanne can grow stenos like that in the, in six months' time. Your hair grows so fast, you would have hair as long as your stenos. That's all you have to do.
12:45 Speaker 00 Yeah. I'm on the minoxidil as well, you know what I mean? And I'm going, I think I'm gonna do it like beat the trip in August. I'm like, imagine having those hair that long, that length of hair with the pool and all.
12:55 Speaker 01 That's why my, that's why my steno's are out now, because I'm going away in a couple of weeks and I am not dealing with it. I'm going back to having smelly damp hair for my summer holidays in Spain.
13:04 Speaker 00 Yeah.
13:05 Speaker 01 Just like last year, I just feral head.
13:08 Speaker 00 There was a woman messaged me and she said she had the same thing. She went swimming and she got out of the pool and her, her hair, her steno's just like stay, she took it out, she took them out of her hair problem. They just stayed in the exact position that they were in when you had the hair popping in them. They were just, they're like, it's like chewing gum. They're just like, yeah, it's not a summer situation. Extensions are, it's a winter, it's a winter commitment. Summer, it's, it's too much of a lifestyle choice for me. And I was glad anyway, I was glad of the support in the DMs because I did feel like I was, I had, I was like, oh my God, I'm a bin woman. Like, how have I let this happen? But no, it is quite common, quite common. And yeah, happens to everyone. There you go.
13:44 Speaker 01 Okay.
13:45 Speaker 00 Nothing to say here.
13:53 Speaker 01 I had really good luck yesterday, you know what happened? I was, I was flying home from Dublin and I had worked all day and I was wrecked. And my flight then, I got a message saying my flight has been delayed till nine o'clock. And I was like, oh my God, all other flights were sold out. I was looking at any options, I was even gonna fly to Stansted, which is four years away from my house. And then didn't I get to the airport and I got, because I have so many points, because I fly all the time. They're like, oh, we'll put you on the earlier flight, the six o'clock that I thought was sold out. Got on the plane.
14:23 Speaker 00 No, it was.
14:24 Speaker 01 No, it was one of the planes that goes to New York.
14:29 Speaker 01 You know Aer Lingus, the way Aer Lingus can fly to New York. So some of their planes have business class, like actual business class. But usually when you're sitting up the front on a, on a flight to London, it's just like a regular seat.
14:40 Speaker 00 Of course, sorry.
14:41 Speaker 01 So not only did I get on an earlier flight, I then got to lie down for an hour.
14:47 Speaker 00 Stunning, you love a lie down, to lie for you.
14:51 Speaker 01 God, I wasn't even asleep, I had my eyes open, but I was just lying.
14:54 Speaker 00 There is a God. I, I often wondered was there a God, but now I realise with that stroke of luck, there is.
15:01 Speaker 01 That's how I felt yesterday, I was nearly getting home at 11 o'clock at night.
15:05 Speaker 00 You should go back to mass now.
15:07 Speaker 01 I was going to call it a quarter to nine. That's why my week has gone so well, we're recording this on a Monday and I feel great.
15:12 Speaker 00 Listen, I have something to say to the tier you.
15:15 Speaker 01 Okay.
15:16 Speaker 00 I, I, all, all began, I've wanted to talk about Katie Price's husband on the podcast.
15:24 Speaker 01 Oh, please.
15:26 Speaker 00 Yeah, okay. No, see, no, exactly. Right. I need, I need this to be-
15:29 Speaker 01 I think, I think you need to start a new podcast and it should just be you and just you. And you can start one with Katie Price. I'll let you if you want to.
15:36 Speaker 00 I've just, I've decided, I've decided. I said, no, I said, I know what's gonna happen. I'm gonna try and bring him up and, and then they're both gonna sigh and they're both gonna-
15:44 Speaker 01 I didn't sigh.
15:45 Speaker 00 You did, because you're on mute, because you're on mute. I saw it in your eyes and I saw your head flick back and then she sighed. I said, don't you want, stand your ground, stand your ground. I listen to them talking about their children all the time. He's, this is my child. He's my child. This is my child's story.
15:58 Speaker 01 Excuse me, I don't talk about my kids.
15:59 Speaker 00 You do.
16:00 Speaker 01 Nearly as much as she's going on about this Lee fella. No way. I, I do, we do not. Now, I have, we have both let you had a fair amount of time.
16:08 Speaker 00 One episode.
16:09 Speaker 01 And I wouldn't, three.
16:10 Speaker 02 How long do you need? Do you need one minute or two minutes?
16:14 Speaker 00 I'd like two minutes.
16:15 Speaker 01 I wouldn't mind if they were interesting. It's the same old shit.
16:20 Speaker 02 It might have something to do with it.
16:21 Speaker 00 It's not actually, it's not actually.
16:23 Speaker 01 They, oh, what, that he's saying he's adopting the kids now? Like, I can't, he actually, he actually is one of those people I look at and I'm like, ugh.
16:34 Speaker 02 Why don't we give it one last, one last chance, Joanne?
16:37 Speaker 01 This is the fourth time. This better be fucking brilliant.
16:40 Speaker 00 I spoke about him on stage in Liverpool and Manchester and the girls were very invested.
16:45 Speaker 01 They'd had, they'd honestly had, they, they literally had drunk the place dry by then. They were invested in everything.
16:50 Speaker 02 You need an open mind, Vogue. Come on, come on, we can do this.
16:55 Speaker 00 He said the other day that he's gotten a partner in his tenders and he hasn't.
17:03 Speaker 01 Oh, I'm, I am shocked.
17:06 Speaker 00 They contacted the BBC. The BBC said they haven't hired him. Also, he's on a travel ban. He can't even leave Dubai. So he's not going into his standards.
17:16 Speaker 01 Thank fucking god. That's actually, that is the best news you've come with. He can't leave Dubai. I have never heard a greater sentence. Thank you.
17:27 Speaker 00 Also, also, did you know that now I realise this isn't the room for this.
17:32 Speaker 01 Now, this is a few things now. You said you had one thing you wanted to say about him. What's this now?
17:37 Speaker 00 How does he think he's gonna get away with saying he's got a part in his standards?
17:40 Speaker 01 He's taking the piss out of everybody. He doesn't. Do you know what I liken it to? That's, this is why I think I have such a problem with it. I liken, I liken it to being really stupid. Like, he's trying to make people seem stupid and think that we actually believe his bullshit. And I can't bear it because I feel like he doesn't even have two brain cells to rub together. That's how I feel about him. And I hate being dragged down to his level.
18:06 Speaker 00 Just trying to enjoy myself.
18:07 Speaker 01 Well, do you know what? I had something to say about North West today and I didn't because I said Joanne doesn't really like talking about the Kardashians. And I went.
18:14 Speaker 00 I was saying, I know what this is. Spectre was like, Joanne, I find the whole North thing utterly bizarre. Why is she always on her own? Where are her parents? She's 13. She's just constantly floating around on her own.
18:28 Speaker 00 Do you know what I mean? Do you not know what's that?
18:31 Speaker 01 Yeah.
18:31 Speaker 00 Meet and greets and everything. I'm like, where are her parents?
18:34 Speaker 01 I know, it's kind of wild. The whole thing's wild.
18:36 Speaker 00 I find the whole thing, I find it mental and I know exactly what you're gonna talk about because that guy you fancy, Spectre, Spectre.
18:44 Speaker 00 Skepta.
18:45 Speaker 01 Do you know what, Joanne? So when I know, so when I know Mel to meet this guy and he was like, is your husband really liberal? And I was like, what? And he was like, I just watched that video about the footballer. And I was like, I was like, yeah, I guess like he's just kind of cool about that kind of stuff. And then I was like, actually, hang on, Spence, he's not on Instagram. He wouldn't have seen that. And I was like, and he was like, oh, okay. And I was like, oh, wait, hang on. He's not like, like, we're not that kind of couple.
19:09 Speaker 00 You're not open. No.
19:11 Speaker 01 He's not that liberal. He's not thinking I'm going off to try and like get it on with this footballer fellow. It's like, he just knows I'd never do anything. I think he's mixed up liberal.
19:22 Speaker 00 Or Spencer knows you're up against me and Ruth Langford and he's like, yeah, she's not gonna get it. Yeah, good luck. She's not gonna get a look in.
19:32 Speaker 00 Because we're gonna take it. No one's getting through me and Ruth, I can tell you.
19:36 Speaker 01 That's why I took a step back. I was like, I'm not getting involved here. This is too hard now.
19:41 Speaker 00 Yeah.
19:41 Speaker 01 The stakes have gone up. I'm not that invested that I don't wanna, I'm not getting the calls out for this one. I'll, I'll, I'll take it. I'll take a step back. No, the whole thing is I can say whatever I want about anyone because I am such a fucking frigid bitch that he knows I'd never do it. I'd be too scared. I need to be in love.
19:59 Speaker 00 Yeah.
20:00 Speaker 01 No one can kiss till we're in love.
20:01 Speaker 00 Yeah, we need feelings. We're feers.
20:04 Speaker 01 Yeah. Juman wouldn't even do it. If, if your man walked into her house right now naked, she'd run out the door.
20:11 Speaker 00 Excuse me, folks. Speak for yourself. I just, I, I don't, I don't know. I didn't everything share her last night. I'm good to go.
20:20 Speaker 01 Okay, he walks into your house naked, you're going, you'd be like, I have to have a drink first.
20:25 Speaker 00 Well, obviously, I mean, who rides, what psychopath rides sober? But apart from that, I'd obviously do a quick shot of tequila that I have at the door.
20:34 Speaker 01 Just in case. Is that your just in case bottle at the door?
20:37 Speaker 00 Just in case any of the delivery guys, if there's a vibe, I'm like, all right, come in. A quick shot of tequila, up the stairs, in you go. Tap, tap on the ass. Out you pop. Fifty seven's the code.
20:51 Speaker 00 That's my washing machine. I'm, I'm just finished another wash, sorry.
20:54 Speaker 02 It's drying out.
20:55 Speaker 01 Yeah. It's a Monday, it's a Monday.
20:58 Speaker 00 Can you hear the?
21:01 Speaker 00 I'm literally, I'm literally washing winter jackets now at this stage, just to get a, just to get a hype.
21:07 Speaker 01 Can I drop you a book up loads?
21:10 Speaker 00 I'd love you to, because I'm about to drop a load of boxes in the skip outside your house. Because the bin man, the war continues. Unbelievable stuff. It's abuse.
21:20 Speaker 01 I feel, I feel, I feel like I don't, Jo and I really have to take a step back for each other. I can't, I can't risk that. I've told you, I'm too concerned.
21:30 Speaker 00 That's why I have the bottle of tequila at the door, because I'm like, I'm gonna have to shag one of these lads at some stage, get this back on track.
21:37 Speaker 00 I'm gonna have to stick the ankle out and be like, just try and seduce one of them or something. I don't know how I'm gonna get my recycling gone Wednesday.
21:46 Speaker 01 Why don't you leave like, why don't you leave like a little trail of eggshells and they'll come in to give out to you about the bins and then you'll just be there nude waiting.
21:54 Speaker 00 I think I'm just gonna appear naked at the door, wearing all the contaminated stickers that they've been putting on my bins for weeks, across my nipples. I don't know.
22:03 Speaker 01 I told you you were wrong. There's, I love you so much, but I just, I didn't even have your back for one second with this, because I know that you're in the wrong.
22:10 Speaker 00 But I think now, now what's happened.
22:14 Speaker 00 Yeah, okay, sure, at the start, yes. Sorry, sorry, I don't have a, I don't have a degree in refuse.
22:24 Speaker 00 Okay, so yeah, I probably did break some rules, right? But like now, I'm trying, me and Lauren are like, like, like going through it line by line. That's Lauren's job with me at the moment, just trying to help me get these fucking bins taken away. And they're still not taking them. And now it feels personal. It feels personal.
22:44 Speaker 02 Because it is.
22:45 Speaker 00 It is personal, yeah.
22:46 Speaker 02 Because you hurt them.
22:47 Speaker 01 You've done something, you've done something bad.
22:50 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah.
22:51 Speaker 01 Okay, I have never written into anything before, but yesterday I did something so out of character that I am in disbelief that I did it.
22:58 Speaker 00 Oh, that's a great opener.
23:02 Speaker 01 Really good. I went on a second date last night. Our first date was about a month ago. I knew from that one, he wasn't someone I would want long term, so I politely declined his second date, but said, I thought he was lovely and wished him all the best. I kept his number and one evening, he put up a WhatsApp story of him in a bar. I loved his outfit and liked the picture. This then led to him starting up a conversation. He told me that he put it up there on purpose in the hope of getting my attention. I joked, I joked about, and we carried on talking, nothing interesting, just day to day. He became very flattering and said about meeting up, I knew that I didn't see it long term, but I can be a bit harsh, so I decided to meet him for a drink.
23:43 Speaker 00 Hmm.
23:44 Speaker 01 It actually started off well, however, topics got brought up, which showed our differences. He believe, he believes Michael Jackson's innocent.
23:54 Speaker 00 Love this, go on.
23:57 Speaker 00 Michael Jackson's innocent, does he think, do you think Michael Jackson's innocent?
24:01 Speaker 01 Yep. He believes Michael Jackson's innocent. He thinks Kanye West is a genius. And, and to top it off, he thinks Nigel Farage is what this country needs.
24:14 Speaker 00 Well, like, do you know what? Oh, sorry.
24:16 Speaker 01 Does he have a MAGA hat?
24:22 Speaker 00 Well, I will, do you know what I will say? There's, there's many, like, the Kanye West genius thing, like, I think even people who, I mean, obviously, there's, you know, he's come out and explained that he's bipolar and all that stuff, but like, even,
24:35 Speaker 01 Loads of people still think he's a genius.
24:38 Speaker 00 Yeah, regardless of whether they, they think he's having a breakdown, or they think there is real beliefs, or whatever. A lot of people do still think he's a genius. And I am always shocked when I meet normal people who think Michael Jackson wasn't a pitiful.
24:52 Speaker 01 I watched those three shows. It's just, oh.
24:56 Speaker 00 I mean, the man had a playground in his driveway.
24:59 Speaker 02 But who could say?
25:01 Speaker 00 There's no way.
25:02 Speaker 01 I heard you on listening to Michael Jackson the other day.
25:05 Speaker 00 I watched the documentary, so, okay. I think you'll find that qualifies me more.
25:10 Speaker 02 Been on Facebook.
25:11 Speaker 00 Yeah.
25:15 Speaker 00 Well, I was chatting to someone on Facebook Marketplace the other day. Very informed, and I agree with them.
25:21 Speaker 01 I tried to change the conversation, but he couldn't believe that I thought Nigel Farage was bad and started laughing. I struggled to make eye contact. There was an awkward silence. I wanted to leave, but he asked me what my dream job would be. By this point, I couldn't be arsed to continue. He said he'd let me think about it while he went to get a drink and go to the toilet. I saw him at the bar. It was quite busy, and my body took over and I left.
25:47 Speaker 00 Whoa.
25:51 Speaker 01 On my way to the car, I blocked him on WhatsApp, not really thinking it through. As when I got home, I, I had three missed calls from him. After about half an hour of being home, I decided to unblock and send a quick. I'm sorry for my behaviour. I just didn't think we were a good match. I waited until he read it, then blocked him before he could answer.
26:11 Speaker 01 What? Am I wrong? I do feel guilty and I've never done it before. I just couldn't sit with anyone who thought Nigel Farage was the answer. I mean, I have to be honest, I couldn't, there's certain views I'm able to look past in people, but like, if someone sat down and told me-
26:28 Speaker 00 Or understand their point, like, you know, for where they're, yeah, not, we're not all going to agree on the same stuff all the time, it would make the world a very boring place.
26:34 Speaker 01 I have friends who have opinions on things that I completely disagree with, but it's just something that we never talk about and I just leave them to their own opinion. But like, if someone's pushing like a political view on you, like if someone was like trying to make me wear a MAGA hat and like just be mad for Donald Trump, I'd be like, I just don't, I don't think this is the basis for a great relationship.
26:54 Speaker 00 Is Nigel Farage, now excuse me and my Irish ignorance, you know, I don't like to dabble in your business, Jo.
27:01 Speaker 02 My business? Oh, my, my country's-
27:03 Speaker 00 Of your land. Yeah, I don't dabble. I just-
27:06 Speaker 02 But here you come.
27:09 Speaker 01 Dibble dabble.
27:13 Speaker 00 She rolls up her sleeves for a hardcore dibble dabble. Um, is he not about to be Prime Minister?
27:18 Speaker 02 Uh, no, no general election has been held, there is-
27:22 Speaker 00 But is there not talk that he has a very good chance of becoming the next Prime Minister?
27:25 Speaker 02 There are certain publications that would have you believe that. There is not a general election for at least another two years. There have been by-election results which may suggest some support.
27:37 Speaker 01 I, I think doing a runner, uh, doing a runner on him was a little bit mean, maybe.
27:42 Speaker 00 I agree. I think it was a bit, I don't, I don't agree with that.
27:44 Speaker 02 She seems to know it was mean though, doesn't she? I think she, she knows.
27:47 Speaker 01 You do know it was mean, but like probably you shouldn't have done that, even though I think that you just got, it was, I mean, there was a lot thrown in there. You had Michael Jackson, Penny West and Nigel Farage in one, in one conversation. You had a lot thrown at you. It was overwhelming.
28:00 Speaker 00 I would, I think I'd rather have dinner with someone who thinks Nigel Farage is a good choice for the UK over someone who thinks Michael Jackson is innocent. Like, open your eyes!
28:15 Speaker 02 He was acquitted of all charges.
28:18 Speaker 00 Michael!
28:19 Speaker 02 Yeah, he was acquitted of everything. Believe or may think he was acquitted of all charges.
28:26 Speaker 01 What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, you have to watch the documentary. It's, it's, it's pretty. Now, in fairness, there was, it was because there was, oh, God, it was just unreliable things and stuff that was going on. Like, obviously, like, if you actually watch it and you're of sane minds, you will probably come up with the same reasoning as Joanne, no matter how much you love thriller.
28:49 Speaker 00 Do we separate the art from the artist?
28:53 Speaker 00 A bigger question.
28:54 Speaker 02 A bigger question.
28:55 Speaker 00 You know, only if the artist is good.
28:58 Speaker 01 Not, yeah.
28:59 Speaker 00 Then we can separate.
29:01 Speaker 01 The artist is not breaking the law, we can probably accept.
29:03 Speaker 00 We can separate. If it's the artist good, I'm happy to separate. If the artist is not good, I will not separate.
29:09 Speaker 01 That is it for today. Thank you so much, everyone, for listening. Joanne, if you don't keep us updated all day long with this hair, you're in big trouble.
29:18 Speaker 00 I'm on my way to get sheared by Hadley.
29:24 Speaker 00 I'm gonna stream it live.
29:26 Speaker 01 Listen.
29:27 Speaker 00 Folks, I wish you could feel them. They are huge, big nuggets of hair. It's like two, I have like four goujons of hair hanging off the back of my head.
29:36 Speaker 01 An undercut worked for Miley Cyrus, it's gonna work for you.
29:39 Speaker 00 Oh, God, no. I put standards into look, make, make me look like I have longer hair. Now I'm gonna, I'm gonna get an undercut.
29:48 Speaker 01 You've done well. I think you've done well for three months. You only got, you only got dreadlocked after three months. Grant.
29:54 Speaker 00 Yes, yeah, you're right.
29:55 Speaker 01 Grant.
29:55 Speaker 00 You're right, you're right.
29:56 Speaker 01 We were expecting them after a couple of weeks, to be honest.
29:59 Speaker 00 Yeah, you're right.
29:59 Speaker 02 Check back on the Friday episode to see how it went.
30:02 Speaker 00 I should be the face of a hair extension brand, really, if I got three months ahead without mashing it myself.
30:07 Speaker 01 Jo, I don't think us telling the listeners that, like, we'll tell them what happens with Joanne's hair on Friday is gonna make them wanna come back and listen.
30:12 Speaker 02 If they watch on YouTube, they can see how it went.
30:15 Speaker 01 Yeah, I have a really big secret to tell you on Friday. There you go.
30:18 Speaker 02 Oh, hello. Oh.
30:22 Speaker 01 I don't actually, I'm only trying to get it on.
30:26 Speaker 02 Now, no one's gonna listen.
30:27 Speaker 01 Have I ever had a secret?
30:29 Speaker 00 That was so exciting.
30:30 Speaker 01 I know. As soon as anything comes up, I ring you and tell you.
30:33 Speaker 02 Try and think of one for Friday.
30:35 Speaker 00 I was like, do you know what I thought it was? I said, oh, my God, she's going on Graham Norton. That's what I thought it was.
30:40 Speaker 01 What have we got? Hello Graham, what are you up to? Just the same old.
30:44 Speaker 00 You've got a new baby coming out. You've got a new baby coming out! On Friday's FO, we need to have a proper chat about the Madonna interview on the Graham Norton Show. I haven't watched it yet, I heard it's eggy as fuck.
30:59 Speaker 03 This has been a Global Production.
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