Pod Insights My Therapist Ghosted Me We NEED to talk about Nigeria's goalkeeper... About this episode It's another episode at Joanne's and the heat is A LOT to cope with. Frankly, it doesn't matter if you're British or Irish, because what we all have in common is an unparalleled ability to talk about how hot it is. Beyond the weather, Vogue and Joanne are heading to Wimbledon next week and in THE SAME DAY, Joanne is off to see Harry Styles, which Vogue obviously can't get her head around... "TWO THINGS IN ONE DAY?!" All that, plus the hottest footballer on Earth and Joanne's new household obsession.
My Therapist Ghosted Me is a Global Production.
Tickets for Joanne's tour Pinotphile are now LIVE: www.joannemcnally.com http://www.joannemcnally.com/
If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] mailto:[email protected]
Please review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/
For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com http://www.mytherapistghostedme.com/
This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.
Transcript 0:02 Speaker 00 He looks like he'd ruin your life.
0:07 Speaker 01 I'd be happy for him to ruin my life.
0:08 Speaker 00 That's the thing. That's the problem with us. But it might be a slow burn.
0:13 Speaker 01 No, well, it's not a slow burn because I watched the whole thing.
0:15 Speaker 00 Fine, it just doesn't burn. How many Greek people did you meet?
0:18 Speaker 01 Loads, I was in Greece.
0:27 Speaker 01 Hello and welcome. Look, John, three cameras.
0:31 Speaker 00 Two cameras, one fan. Sorry now, I know this is not ideal, but anyone living in and around the London area will know that it is violently hot.
0:42 Speaker 01 It's sweat under the tit hot.
0:45 Speaker 00 Even Vogue is sweating and Vogue hasn't done that before.
0:49 Speaker 01 No, it's the first time for me, but there is sweat under the tit. That's where I sweat and above the tash.
0:55 Speaker 00 Mine, it's just constant, it's just a constant.
0:59 Speaker 01 I don't think it's.
0:59 Speaker 00 Like mustache, sweat mustache, whatever, I don't care anymore. Who cares? I have to live my life.
1:03 Speaker 01 I did my derma planning as well last night. I did my shaving last night.
1:08 Speaker 00 Call it what it is.
1:09 Speaker 01 You might have noticed it all the.
1:10 Speaker 00 Cuts?
1:11 Speaker 01 The cuts.
1:13 Speaker 00 Actually didn't. I wish you'd come in with all the tissue paper like our dads did, do you remember? They'd go to work with like bits of bloody tissue paper stuck all over their faces. It was the eighties, no one cared.
1:23 Speaker 01 I bought this magnifying mirror with a light on it. So I was like, when I say, now unless Fanny didn't see them, but I just don't imagine it's true. I had actual whiskers.
1:36 Speaker 00 Did you?
1:37 Speaker 01 On my tash.
1:39 Speaker 00 How do you have whiskers on your tash?
1:40 Speaker 01 Well, it was just like.
1:42 Speaker 00 Is this because you're pregnant?
1:43 Speaker 01 No, but it was also the mole. So like hair is like come out of.
1:47 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:47 Speaker 01 Yeah, and I turned on the magnifying mirror and I was like, whoop. And then I was like, how nice of Ben that he didn't mention it.
1:54 Speaker 00 You have to accept you are an animal. We were in animals, we're animals.
1:59 Speaker 01 I had a real good go at myself last night.
2:01 Speaker 00 Yeah, good for you.
2:02 Speaker 01 And I was like going around and I was like, I wonder if Fanny would notice the difference.
2:05 Speaker 00 We're creatures. I remember Sue Brophy once basically saying to me, like, she was like, I don't know how to say this diplomatically. Shave your face, will you?
2:15 Speaker 00 She's like, you've got this fuzz and because she's doing makeup.
2:18 Speaker 01 It's very hard to say that.
2:19 Speaker 00 It drives her mad because she's putting, she's patting on this makeup. It's about six inches out from your actual face.
2:23 Speaker 01 I know. There's a couple of people I know. You're not one of them. Don't worry.
2:26 Speaker 00 Thank you.
2:27 Speaker 01 And I, I even spent, Sven, who didn't notice the whiskers, noticed one of these people. And he was like, why, why has she got hair off her face?
2:37 Speaker 00 Cause she's.
2:37 Speaker 01 I was like, I don't know. I'd never have that.
2:39 Speaker 00 Cause she's an animal. There was a video going around TikTok recently and I don't know. She was a beauty influencer or something and she was doing some look, but she clearly, whatever the way the light was, it almost looked like she was kind of rage baiting because she did have a significant, just like it's fuzz really, like fuzz.
2:54 Speaker 01 It's like a fuzz and it's so nice when it comes off, but like.
2:57 Speaker 00 It's very satisfying.
2:58 Speaker 01 It's caused a deep sweat on my face and I, that's why if anyone sees me in the street and notices cuts all over my face, it's, I've done that to myself.
3:05 Speaker 00 People don't like women with hair, Jo. It's very, very controversial.
3:11 Speaker 02 We're a toxic generation in that regard.
3:13 Speaker 00 Well, I think it's getting better now because the bush is back apparently, but if our generation was the worst.
3:18 Speaker 01 I don't, I'm not mad for hair.
3:20 Speaker 00 You're just, yeah, because you've been brainwashed.
3:22 Speaker 01 I know, but I like the feeling of not having, like I'd hate to be a man and have to shave, well, shave my face. It's different with peach fuzz.
3:32 Speaker 00 Yeah, I know.
3:32 Speaker 01 Imagine having the thick hair like Joe has to have, like I'd hate the feeling of that on my face.
3:36 Speaker 00 I know.
3:37 Speaker 01 So.
3:38 Speaker 00 And all over your back. Jo, do you have it on your back?
3:40 Speaker 02 I do not and I resent.
3:41 Speaker 00 Did you get it whacked?
3:42 Speaker 02 Even mentioning that it would be possible.
3:43 Speaker 00 Have you had your back waxed?
3:44 Speaker 02 I have not. No, I, I am.
3:46 Speaker 01 He's not that hairy, just on his head.
3:49 Speaker 00 Well, you've got a load of hair on your head.
3:51 Speaker 02 Yeah. Well, that's where all of it is.
3:52 Speaker 01 I got one of those current body, um, have you seen them that everyone wears?
3:57 Speaker 00 No.
3:58 Speaker 01 At like I.
3:59 Speaker 00 The electric helmet things.
4:00 Speaker 01 The helmets. I got the helmets.
4:02 Speaker 00 But what do they do?
4:03 Speaker 01 It promotes hair growth.
4:06 Speaker 00 No wonder you're shaving your face.
4:08 Speaker 01 No, it goes on your head, on your crown. I wanna have more hair, like I always have stenos and stuff.
4:14 Speaker 00 Does it work though? Does it work?
4:16 Speaker 01 It will, it will. I, I think red light therapy works, like even the little bits in the mask, like that shark mask.
4:23 Speaker 00 Yeah.
4:23 Speaker 01 I still use that all the time. And I think that although it's not as strong as what you get in a like beauty place, it's, I, I do think that they still work. They have their place in my home. But I'm about to do the helmet and then when I'm not pregnant, I'm gonna buy one of the vibration plates because I feel like I've missed out on this wellness.
4:40 Speaker 00 So, the vibration plates. Now, obviously as someone who's, I'm on the talk for the sake of the podcast. Cause I know neither of you are arsed with the talk.
4:49 Speaker 01 What, did I ask you to deep dive, you didn't do with the crash? Or you would have forgotten?
4:54 Speaker 00 Forgot, yeah.
4:54 Speaker 01 Yeah, okay, you can do it for next week.
4:56 Speaker 00 Do you know that there's a woman who, they get, she's Alzheimer's. Now, I'm, I'm, as you know, very interested in Alzheimer's.
5:01 Speaker 01 Did you work in an Alzheimer's home?
5:03 Speaker 00 I worked in an Alzheimer's home, yeah. I did.
5:05 Speaker 01 Was that before or after P-ware?
5:06 Speaker 00 That was before P-ware. Yeah, before I was a publicist. And anyway, and I'm also convinced I'm gonna get it. And like, it's, it's, you know, it's.
5:14 Speaker 01 Pull all your teeth out!
5:15 Speaker 00 It's all, it's, it's, it looks like just the worst.
5:18 Speaker 01 Starve, touch wood.
5:18 Speaker 00 Anyway, there was a woman, they've given, she has Alzheimer's, she hasn't spoken in years. They gave her psychedelics. She's now forming sentences and like looking into people's eyes. Yeah.
5:29 Speaker 01 So what you're saying is we should all do drugs?
5:31 Speaker 00 Kind of.
5:32 Speaker 02 Definitely not saying.
5:33 Speaker 00 Not saying that, but I'm saying I always keep an eye on what they're doing to help cure Alzheimer's or stop it even happening. Cause I'm convinced I'm gonna get it.
5:43 Speaker 01 There are a couple of, yeah, but I think that because it's like, it's one of the worst things that, and the ALS or the.
5:49 Speaker 00 I know.
5:49 Speaker 01 Those, so that it makes you focus on thinking that you're gonna get those things. But lots of people think it's something to do with your teeth as well. So people get their teeth changed. But actually they're making such advances in that.
6:00 Speaker 00 They are.
6:01 Speaker 01 I think that when we get old, I mean, I think that they're saying we're very faceless and they'll just give us one and we won't have to go into the knife. But it's the same with Alzheimer's, I'm like, they won't be there.
6:11 Speaker 00 I agree. I think there, and there was another thing, they're saying there's some game they've invented and they have to play it for an hour a day.
6:17 Speaker 01 Sudoku?
6:18 Speaker 00 No, it's not Sudoku. I have to find out what the game is. I mean, I'm hoping it's just go fish.
6:24 Speaker 00 I'm hoping it's something really low level.
6:26 Speaker 01 What about Tetris? Tetris, games like that are really good.
6:28 Speaker 00 Yeah.
6:28 Speaker 01 To use your like minds properly.
6:31 Speaker 00 But they were saying that playing this game for an hour a day reduces your chance to get dementia by 25%.
6:36 Speaker 01 An hour a day.
6:37 Speaker 00 It's intense and apparently the game is intense.
6:39 Speaker 01 But like, so you've got that, but then like, if you want to reduce your risk of heart disease and all that kind of stuff, then you have to be in the sauna now. I do love saunas. I miss saunas. I.
6:52 Speaker 01 Did anyone hear that? Did anyone hear the thunder and lightning last night? I honestly nearly had to wake up Spanny. I was so frightened.
6:58 Speaker 00 No, I didn't hear it at all.
6:58 Speaker 01 Oh, wasn't it mad?
7:00 Speaker 02 It was like a disco.
7:01 Speaker 01 It was crazy. Yeah, I was really scared. I was like, will I wake up Span? I was like, that's pathetic. And then I was like, I bet I go down and get Bertie, he'll be scared.
7:09 Speaker 00 Oh, I did take one of those blue American things.
7:13 Speaker 01 What are they called? I miss them.
7:14 Speaker 00 Uni-soms.
7:15 Speaker 01 Oh, poor Span couldn't sleep the other day and I'm so.
7:17 Speaker 02 Please consult a medical professional.
7:19 Speaker 01 No, they're, they're, they're over the counter in America.
7:22 Speaker 02 Still consult a medical professional.
7:24 Speaker 00 Speaking of, you've reminded me, so I am obviously middle aged now, whatevs, leaning in, blah, blah, blah. I've, I've got a new garden, I'm buzzing, et cetera.
7:36 Speaker 01 Oh, if you're going to talk about my favourite content you've ever done, please go right ahead.
7:40 Speaker 00 Yeah, I need to appreciate this. We are.
7:43 Speaker 01 It's like she's reached that era.
7:44 Speaker 00 I've hit my, there's great drying in the weather era. I went out, so I did, I did a casual wa, I did a casual sheet wash and I hung it in the garden.
7:53 Speaker 01 Was it a quick wash?
7:54 Speaker 00 It was a quick, no, no, I did it, I did it two hour thirty, but I mean, I wasn't, I wasn't expecting anything from, I wasn't, the experience.
8:01 Speaker 01 Yeah.
8:01 Speaker 00 I was just putting on a wash because I need to put on a wash. It was Monday morning. I said, Jesus, it's very organised now, putting on a wash, put the bed sheets out. It was absolutely boiling day. The sheets were dry in seven to 10 minutes.
8:11 Speaker 01 Unbelievable.
8:12 Speaker 00 Jesus, I said, oh fucking, I go again. I go again. Get the towels, got to, I got the towels. At one point I was going to go to the neighbours. I did four washes. I was like, this is the only reason I joined the neighbourhood WhatsApp group. It's like, does anyone have anything I can wash? I was flying. It was such a thrill. I was like, usually on a Monday morning, I would have been climbing out of some lads, cat flap with my eyelashes on my chin, doing the walk of shame. Now here I am. Private.
8:38 Speaker 01 Four washes.
8:39 Speaker 00 Goofing off and hanging out the bed sheets. I was like, I'm not gonna, I was like, I wanna run an Airbnb. I wanna just want sheets all the time and dry them and fold them and put them away. And it's so satisfying.
8:51 Speaker 01 Conversation I have with my mother every year in Spain, but even when I was in Mykonos at Spain, I was like, look at them, I bet you they just, their washing is probably dried in about 10 minutes. And I was like, oh my God, I should not be talking about people's washing in Mykonos. This is a party island for God's sake. And then I saw your, your content and I was like, yeah, she's in on it now.
9:07 Speaker 00 I'm in on it now.
9:08 Speaker 01 She doesn't have to use the dryer for the sheets.
9:10 Speaker 00 It was so satisfying. I was like, this is living. And, and, and the sense of achievement.
9:18 Speaker 01 The smell is different.
9:18 Speaker 00 The smell is different. And I think, I don't know what happens, you hit 40 and going outside, it's, there's some sort of photosynthesis happening when you're taking in your washing. I was like.
9:28 Speaker 01 It's just lovely to be outside.
9:30 Speaker 00 It was, it was great.
9:31 Speaker 01 Have you been picnicking out there? I'll get you a picnic blanket.
9:33 Speaker 00 Stunning.
9:34 Speaker 01 You should have your dinners out there. We'll do picky bit dinners, just sitting out there.
9:38 Speaker 00 Oh no, I'm out there all, but I'm kind of pacing. I don't really know what I do out there. I do laps of it a lot. Um, but then of course I left, I got really cocky and I was going to an event last night. Louise O'Neill's new memoir is coming out called A Bigger Life. So she was having like a little dinner.
9:51 Speaker 01 Yeah.
9:52 Speaker 00 And so I said, um, I'll leave the washing out. I'll leave the washing out. I got cocky. I got cocky. I left the washing out, came out of the event, it had been lashing rain. I squealed in a way. People were looking at me. I looked like I'd left my baby on the roof of a car. I was like, I was like, no. Of course I came in, it's all soaking. I was like, you know what, it doesn't matter because it means you get to dry it again.
10:15 Speaker 01 This is another day, another day for you. Did you put it back in the wash though? I'd put it back in the wash.
10:19 Speaker 00 You'll have to put it back in the wash.
10:20 Speaker 01 I, I kind of would put it back in the wash, especially being in London. Like if you're in Hope, like with nice sea air, it's different to like.
10:27 Speaker 00 I was praying I wouldn't have to put it back in the wash.
10:29 Speaker 01 Your white sheets are probably black now from the pollution in the air here.
10:35 Speaker 03 Have you ever laughed at something you definitely shouldn't have? Like, you know it's bad, but you just can't help it.
10:41 Speaker 00 Same. That's basically the entire premise of our podcast, Shouldn't Laugh But, with me, Laura Smith.
10:47 Speaker 03 And me, Carmen Butcher.
10:48 Speaker 00 We get into those moments that are a bit awkward, a bit chaotic, and yeah, sometimes a bit wrong, but very funny. Think wild confessions, questionable decisions, and the kind of stories you probably shouldn't admit out loud, but we do anyway.
11:04 Speaker 03 It's the stuff you'd normally only say to your closest mates, if that.
11:08 Speaker 00 Where can you get us from, comms?
11:09 Speaker 03 Listen and watch on Global Player, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts. Very good.
11:17 Speaker 00 I think I have a mouse in the house. I, I, I think there's so, and I was like, do you know what? I don't care enough to do anything about it, but that sounds like there's a person in the walls.
11:25 Speaker 01 That doesn't sound like a mouse. That sounds like bigger.
11:29 Speaker 00 It does, doesn't it? Is there someone in the walls, Jo?
11:31 Speaker 01 Oh my god, you can get a cat. Get a cat.
11:35 Speaker 00 You know, I have no interest in them.
11:36 Speaker 01 You wouldn't get a cat?
11:38 Speaker 00 No, no interest in them.
11:39 Speaker 01 I, since being in Mykonos, and there's cats, Greek people love cats. I love Greek people, by the way.
11:45 Speaker 00 Okay.
11:45 Speaker 01 Sounds.
11:46 Speaker 00 Yeah.
11:47 Speaker 01 And I, my doctor's Greek, and I always liked her. She's delivered all the kids. And I'm like, I like her because there's no, like, she's not patting me or being like, oh, you know, all right. She's just like, just fucking get on with it.
11:56 Speaker 00 Just ask, give me the info.
11:57 Speaker 01 Yeah, and that's what I like. And then it turns out all Greek people are like that. I just really liked them.
12:02 Speaker 00 Okay. And how many Greek people did you meet?
12:04 Speaker 01 Loads. I was in Greece.
12:08 Speaker 01 But all of them were like.
12:09 Speaker 00 You're in all, yeah.
12:11 Speaker 01 All of them, I was like, I love these Greek people.
12:13 Speaker 00 You were doing your Paddy's Day Parade, just driving around in the roof, cars waving at people at times.
12:17 Speaker 01 Hello. Hello, Greece.
12:21 Speaker 01 There was only one fella that I wasn't mad about because he just couldn't understand where we were going. And like, he said he knew where we were going and he didn't, but it turns out he wasn't Greek.
12:29 Speaker 00 Oh, granted.
12:29 Speaker 01 So fine. But yeah, Greek people are mad for cats, so they have all these like little.
12:34 Speaker 00 Are they mad for cats or do they just have loads and loads of town cats?
12:37 Speaker 01 Mad for cats. They have like little cat huts and like little cat bunk beds and they have like, they leave food out for the cats. Yeah.
12:43 Speaker 00 Cat bunk beds? Now that's fun.
12:45 Speaker 01 Well, I, I, I posted my most controversial story yet in Greece, and it was just a picture of a cat.
12:51 Speaker 00 What?
12:52 Speaker 01 Well, I'm still getting pictures.
12:55 Speaker 00 What was the caption?
12:57 Speaker 01 Nothing. I just said, I really want to get a cat and I do want to get a cat. I've had cats before in my life.
13:01 Speaker 00 Of all the things we've said, I didn't, I wouldn't have thought that that would be the most controversial.
13:05 Speaker 01 Were, so half the people adored cats, the other half hate cats. Look at my mum text me about the cat. I was like, Jesus Christ, Sandra, we had cats. My mum said, folk, if that cat bites you or scrapes you, get a rabies injection pronto. And I said, mum, you don't like cats either. And then I said, God, how many did we go through when we were little, but we did live beside a main road.
13:27 Speaker 00 But she's, oh yeah, of course, we're pet's amateur bud.
13:31 Speaker 01 Then she goes, no, they sit on worktops and lick their privates and leave yuck there and it gets into the food, yuck. I won't be eating in your house anymore if you get one.
13:41 Speaker 00 Wow, Sandra.
13:43 Speaker 01 That's what so many people were like that about the cats. I was like, oh my God, relax. You don't have to have, I'm not asking you to get a cat. I want a cat.
13:52 Speaker 00 Yeah, I mean.
13:53 Speaker 01 I know you said you were having the fan like more based on you, but.
13:58 Speaker 00 I'm really struggling here.
14:02 Speaker 01 She's basically got the fan just on her.
14:05 Speaker 00 I know you are, pregnant and all, but like, I'm really struggling in this heat.
14:10 Speaker 01 I know.
14:10 Speaker 00 Enough talk about us sweating in the heat. Look, it's an honour to be alive. Now, I have something I'd like to talk about.
14:17 Speaker 01 Okay.
14:18 Speaker 00 Okay, I'm going to say something which I know, I know not everyone will agree with me, but I'm just going to say it.
14:23 Speaker 01 Go on.
14:24 Speaker 00 I, I think predominantly, now of course there are exceptions to the rule and I'm sorry if this makes me sound sexist or I'm selling feminism back. Women don't really give a shit about football, across the board. I mean, it's, it's a big, I know it's a big statement, it's a cliche, it's a stereotype.
14:39 Speaker 02 We've got our video editor Emily literally watching us there, Emily.
14:42 Speaker 00 Are you Emily, are you watching football, Emily? Are you? Yeah.
14:46 Speaker 01 Excuse me, I used to fancy Eric Cantona, he was one of my first crushes.
14:50 Speaker 00 Yeah, but that's different because you fancied Eric Cantona. You weren't there for the lovely game.
14:54 Speaker 01 I don't hate, no, it's, it's a bit busy for me to be honest.
14:57 Speaker 00 And listen, like even, even with the world, even with the fo, what's it called? The world tour, what's it called?
15:02 Speaker 01 World Cup.
15:04 Speaker 00 Even with the big occasion that they're having at the moment.
15:07 Speaker 01 I don't think anyone likes football as much, dislikes football as much as you. Well, not that you dislike it, you just have no involvement in it whatsoever.
15:14 Speaker 00 No involvement at all.
15:15 Speaker 01 You ever kicked a football?
15:17 Speaker 00 Not that I'm aware of. I realise I have toxic takes on things. Some people have hot takes and my takes could be a little toxic or tepid. They're rarely hot. But I'm just saying, of all the female friends I have, and I have a lot of them, none of them are arsed with the World Cup. So I can only speak anecdotal. So I'm saying, that's how boring the World Cup is. You have these beautiful specimens of men and we still don't give a shit. Enter Madu.
15:43 Speaker 01 Who?
15:43 Speaker 00 Madu. That's what his friends call him. That's what I'm calling him.
15:46 Speaker 01 Who's he play for?
15:47 Speaker 00 He is the Nigerian goalkeeper. I need you both to Google him right now. I need your live reactions.
15:52 Speaker 01 Madu what?
15:53 Speaker 00 Just Madu. It's what I've been using regularly.
15:56 Speaker 01 Nigeria, okay.
15:58 Speaker 00 In my late night scrolls. It's just Madu, Nigeria. Maduka, fine. Yeah, no, Madu. Yeah, his friends call him Madu.
16:06 Speaker 01 Yeah, but that's not what the internet calls him.
16:08 Speaker 00 Madu.
16:08 Speaker 01 Goalkeeper, we're, Maduka, oh, oh, okay.
16:12 Speaker 00 I mean.
16:13 Speaker 01 Wowee.
16:14 Speaker 00 It's.
16:15 Speaker 01 Oh my god. Oh my god.
16:17 Speaker 00 I had to take my phone off airplane mode there to get Madu up. Jo, have a look at Madu there.
16:21 Speaker 02 Oh, I've seen Madu. Don't mind if Madu.
16:23 Speaker 01 Oh my god, and he looks, yeah.
16:25 Speaker 00 Very well done.
16:26 Speaker 01 Look how tall!
16:27 Speaker 00 He can gal my keep, huh?
16:31 Speaker 01 Look how tall.
16:32 Speaker 00 He's six foot six.
16:34 Speaker 01 Okay, lost.
16:36 Speaker 00 He speaks eight, I think, seven languages. He is, his face is so symmetrical, you could use it as a spirit level to build a house.
16:43 Speaker 01 Is he married?
16:44 Speaker 00 No, he's not. No, he's not married.
16:46 Speaker 01 What age is he?
16:47 Speaker 00 Men like him don't marry, no. Twenty-six.
16:50 Speaker 01 Jesus Christ.
16:51 Speaker 00 He is obviously blown up all over the internet. I was looking at his face the other day and I was like.
16:55 Speaker 01 Wow.
16:56 Speaker 00 Do you know the way, sometimes I feel like if there is a God and there's like a conveyor belt up there and he's putting people together physically.
17:03 Speaker 01 I feel a bit unfair now that he got all that. I have to say it's a lot. It's a lot. He doesn't deserve to be like.
17:09 Speaker 00 It's completely unfair.
17:10 Speaker 01 Famous footballer and that hot and six foot.
17:13 Speaker 00 He's like, he's made of marble, we're made of, we're made of mola. Like, I feel like some of us have been kind of rushed. Do you know what I mean? God was like, if I get this.
17:20 Speaker 01 I did. Well, when I look at Amber, where is my tits?
17:24 Speaker 00 Amber, yeah, no, she definitely, she got the great tits.
17:26 Speaker 01 Yeah.
17:27 Speaker 00 Sometimes you feel like you were rushed, like you were kind of like, God's like, if I get this ear on her, I can go for a smoke break. Whereas with him.
17:34 Speaker 01 God had just woken up and he'd had a great night's sleep. He'd been like, oh, I woke up, looked at Zora and he said, I've had nine hours sleep. I'm in great form today. And then he created that fella.
17:42 Speaker 00 There's a strategy there. There was a plan, like there was time put in.
17:46 Speaker 01 Oh, God.
17:46 Speaker 00 He wasn't splodged together. He is perfection. I've never seen anything like it. Now.
17:52 Speaker 01 So you're on him. Well.
17:53 Speaker 00 I'm just keeping an eye. I did see one video. He was side of the pitch and he had three phones.
18:02 Speaker 01 Oh.
18:03 Speaker 00 And I said, of course he does. The fucking dog.
18:07 Speaker 01 Well, now what I will say, what I will say is, Joanne, he's in.
18:11 Speaker 00 Oh, we know, Jo.
18:12 Speaker 01 If he's Nigerian and he's in America, the roaming charges are crazy. So I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt.
18:20 Speaker 00 Yeah. Well, I would say, it's, do you know that we were always talking about people getting deep faked by celebrities? Men asking them for dates and stuff. Well, not that they would get me, but I'd say he's going through so many DMs that he has to use ChatGPT and AI to talk to the amount of women he's probably talking to. Do you know what I mean? So I'd say he's actually using AI just for the, for the, for the volume of it, because he has to.
18:42 Speaker 01 This is where I would get more romantic than you, like whereas I'd be like, oh, maybe he's not like that. Maybe he just wants, maybe he has a childhood sweetheart that he loves. I know he's stupidly good looking, but like sometimes when people.
18:54 Speaker 00 Good looking he is.
18:55 Speaker 01 It is actually. It's a bit stupid.
18:56 Speaker 00 It's stupid. Now, I think there was some issue with his ex and I think there was a, there was, I think he, there, he has, and listen, I don't know.
19:04 Speaker 01 What was the issue with his ex?
19:05 Speaker 00 They have a kid and she did, she did a tweet ages ago, or she did something ages ago where she was basically saying that he was, you know, he locked her and the kid out of the house and she was going public with it because she was like, no one's helping us and all this stuff. Like he does, there's, there was a bit of scandal there before, but he's gone viral again. And so, look, he's probably, I don't know.
19:24 Speaker 01 He's 26 and he has a kid. Fucking hell.
19:27 Speaker 00 Well, sorry, look again, Google him again. He is now, I would go in now with full entrapment there. Yeah, it's not often, I'd admit that.
19:36 Speaker 01 Do you know?
19:36 Speaker 00 And the tats and all, it's insane. Look at his lips, look at his nose, look at his eyes.
19:42 Speaker 01 I can't, I haven't, I don't have time. I don't have time for another person because.
19:45 Speaker 02 You'd have to imagine his hands are quite big as well as a goalkeeper.
19:48 Speaker 00 As a goalkeeper.
19:49 Speaker 01 I mean, you look at poor David Seaman and then you look at this fellow.
19:52 Speaker 00 And you know what, right? I went down this hall because I was like, Jesus Christ, that man's just, what a specimen. I've just never seen another like it. And then I Googled, or no, sorry, I didn't Google.
20:01 Speaker 01 He dresses well, he dresses well outside of, and he's a nice watch.
20:05 Speaker 00 He looks like he'd ruin your life.
20:08 Speaker 01 I'd be happy for him to ruin my life.
20:09 Speaker 00 That's the thing. That's the fucking problem with us. We'd be queuing up to have our life ruined by him. But.
20:17 Speaker 01 I don't care, cheat on me.
20:18 Speaker 00 Yeah, you're like, just stay in my life in some capacity.
20:21 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah. I'll provide snacks for the other women.
20:26 Speaker 01 I'm into polyamory.
20:27 Speaker 00 Yeah. I've got canapes. Bring them over. Just include me, please. Um, I think he was in, maybe I'm wrong. Was he in, I may, maybe just get my.
20:38 Speaker 01 Was he in a long-term relationship? I feel like you haven't done enough deep diving. You've just been looking. You need to go deeper on this. This isn't enough for me. I need to know more about him. Like, what's the crack? Where does he live? Who does he play for?
20:49 Speaker 00 Women are in his, he's kind of pretending he hasn't noticed it. And I'm like, dude.
20:52 Speaker 01 I don't think this is a new, I don't think this is a new thing for him. I think that you've just found him.
20:56 Speaker 00 And he was, there was, there was an accusation of fraud.
21:00 Speaker 01 Perfect. You love a guy who likes fraud.
21:03 Speaker 00 I do.
21:05 Speaker 00 I've known, I've been known to dabble in that world before.
21:07 Speaker 01 A little fraudster for two.
21:09 Speaker 00 Yeah. I've been known to dabble in that world before. Um, but yeah, so all the girls on TikTok are all obviously going, like they're, you know, he's the talk.
21:18 Speaker 01 There's some other lad, there's a few that have.
21:19 Speaker 00 He's the talk of the town. But anyway, Instagram knew that I was obviously creeping on footballers. So it served me up this story as like 15 hottest footballers.
21:26 Speaker 01 Do you know, I've become obsessed with to the point where like Sven is like, okay, like stop now.
21:32 Speaker 01 Bad Bunny again. I can't, I don't even mind the flip flops. I don't mind, yeah, I don't mind the flip flops.
21:38 Speaker 00 Have you seen his glow up?
21:39 Speaker 01 Yes, I have. And I don't mind the old person either.
21:42 Speaker 00 Oh, well, that's love because I wouldn't touch him in his old days.
21:45 Speaker 01 It's seeing him on stage and it's like, I'm being served him up like, I'll show you my Instagram. It's just all Bad Bunny now. That's all I'm getting served up. And I was on the plane, like having another look at Bad Bunny and Sven, he was like, are you fucking joking? It's like, wow, I was like, it's just being served up. And he was like, it's getting weird now. And I was like, oh my God, it's actually gotten so bad. Cause the whole time in Mykonos, and I was like, look at him now. And look at him doing this. And Svenny's like, stop looking at bad bunny.
22:09 Speaker 00 Does he have a whole, who's Spencer's whole pass?
22:12 Speaker 01 He doesn't get into people like I get into them.
22:14 Speaker 00 He doesn't have, you're like, he doesn't get to have one. I was like, fair.
22:17 Speaker 01 Uh, no, Svenny doesn't, it's weird. He doesn't fancy anybody else or think anyone else is attractive.
22:22 Speaker 00 God, that's great.
22:23 Speaker 01 So weird. Yeah. He's no interest in anyone else.
22:26 Speaker 00 That's brilliant.
22:26 Speaker 01 Yeah. When I bring up like hot women, he's like, ew, gross.
22:30 Speaker 00 I've always thought, like, as you know, there are people like open relationships and arguing in the rounds. I was like, I don't have the mental headspace. If I could crack into my boyfriend's wang bank and empty it all, and turn him into a vegetable, I would. If I could, if I could scrape his brain.
22:46 Speaker 01 I think it's important to fancy people.
22:49 Speaker 00 Yeah, me. Big photo of me in his, in his, in his wang bank. And I scrape everyone else out. And if it meant damage to the rest of the parts of his brain, I'd take that risk. And then I'd just walk around, I'd just walk, it'd be like he had a lobotomy. He'd just be like, I love Joanna.
23:03 Speaker 01 No, Svenny, I, I know, like, if, like, if I see a hot girl on the beach or something, I'm like, do you think she's such a ride? And sometimes he'll join in with me. Like, I don't mind that.
23:19 Speaker 01 You know, the way I like, I take pictures of myself and stuff like that, like, put up my outfit posts. I have never seen the like, as I have in Mykonos. Now, in fairness, they were all rides. I get why they were taking pictures. But like, we walked into this restaurant, right? And Svenny went to the toilet. He said that there was this girl taking pictures of herself as he walked up to go to the toilet. And he was like, like, fully posing in like this mirror and like not caring that anyone was walking by her. And then he said he went to the toilet and then he came back and she was still doing it. And then we all sat down and like, you had to walk by the tables to get to the toilet. So she came back about eight minutes later and sat down after she'd finished taking her pictures. And I was like, holy fuck. So he was, she was sitting behind him. So I could see her phone.
24:02 Speaker 01 And like, she sat down and she was at a table full of people, did not converse with them once, gave her fellow the odd kiss, then opened the phone and was going through the pictures. Hundreds of the same picture. And then she was just like voice, like, you know, those messages you can do of people just like videos and just sending them to friends. And I was looking at her and I was like, she hasn't spoken once to anyone in her group. She has just been so swallowed in her phone, looking at pictures of herself and then going to take pictures. And I just thought, that's mad.
24:33 Speaker 00 It's grim, isn't it?
24:33 Speaker 02 We're in the end of days.
24:34 Speaker 00 It's grim.
24:35 Speaker 01 But that's what we were saying. We were like, is this life now?
24:38 Speaker 00 But you can't even blame her because she's just a product of, it's not her fault. She's a product of the generation. I know.
24:45 Speaker 01 But what I would have said is like, she was, she was in her thirties, but like her fella sitting beside her, like, would he not be like, do you want to just like, I know. We all talk to people that we're with now instead of just you being on it. Cause I, and I was then engulfed in watching her on her phone the whole time. And I was like, it's just so insane.
25:04 Speaker 00 Yeah.
25:04 Speaker 01 She hasn't spoken to anyone once. And we saw that a couple of times in Makenos and that's what we thought. We were like, is this life now? Is this what, I was like, is that what she's, she's gonna do when she's older?
25:13 Speaker 00 Well, speaking of which, the social media ban, like I swear to God, I like bring it in for me. Like I am hooked to my phone.
25:22 Speaker 01 It's terr, it's like, I have to put timers on my phone to be like, right, get off your phone. Because as soon as you're sucked in and the algorithm changes to what you like watching Bad Bunny, like please God no more.
25:34 Speaker 00 There was an Irish brand sent me one of these, it's the, it's, I think it's called Kip. And I, I actually never took it out of the box. I must get, I must try and get it to work.
25:42 Speaker 01 Is that a phone with no internet?
25:43 Speaker 00 It's like, it's like, it's something that blocks the, it's not a burner phone, it blocks the internet from you. But I was like, the social media ban, firstly, the kids can just lie about their age, it doesn't matter. Like you can just put it in your, I think only one, I think, cause Australia did it, the UK are gonna do it. But I was like, if I have a kid, I will deeply resent the fact that by the time I have it, I can't hand my baby an iPad. To, I wanna raise my kid with an iPad like everyone else. It's not fair.
26:08 Speaker 01 You won't. You won't.
26:09 Speaker 00 I do.
26:10 Speaker 01 I'm telling you, you won't.
26:11 Speaker 00 A second, like, and the dog, I saw a dog on an iPad the other day watching an iPad on the balcony and I said, that's perfect.
26:16 Speaker 01 I think it is one of the best things that has ever come in, like my kids with their iPad, we took their iPads away about, I'm gonna. Say two years ago now, so they're only allowed to have them when they travel. And when we travel, there is like pure silence. You don't hear a single word from them because they're, they never get their iPads until we travel.
26:32 Speaker 00 Yeah.
26:33 Speaker 01 So they're both immersed, they're all, all three of them are immersed in this like world in their iPad. And like literally you're blocked out from them and it's fine when you're on the plane. But like we found at home, like their behaviour was getting so bad, Theodore stopped playing with toys. So like he wasn't playing with any of his toys. And I was like, this is really strange.
26:49 Speaker 00 And he's eighteen or something at this stage. When are you just now? He's seven, is he only seven? God, he's really taking his time, isn't he?
26:57 Speaker 01 I know, but like he just stopped going out and like kicking the ball around and stuff like that. And then we noticed our behaviour was really bad. And then we took them off them as like, as a, as a, what's, what do you call that?
27:08 Speaker 00 Punishment.
27:08 Speaker 01 Yeah, sorry. We took them off them as punishment and the difference in their behaviour. Now, I'm not saying they don't get screens. They get to watch TV every night, but they all have to share the TV and they all get like 20 minutes each. And then they lose interest in the TV because it's not as, it doesn't suck them in as much as, and the shit that's on YouTube for kids. My god, like Svenny and I like T, you cannot watch this. Like it's, it's grown men playing video games and Theodore's watching them play the video game.
27:37 Speaker 00 It's weird, so weird.
27:39 Speaker 01 It's like 50 year old American man playing Minecraft and T is watching him play Minecraft, talking about, I'm like, T, this is actual brain rot.
27:47 Speaker 00 They were saying the other day that they're trying to make, so that, there's probably an innocent interaction there somewhere, but they're saying they're trying to stop adults being able to talk to children via these games.
27:58 Speaker 01 Well, that's what, Roblox. So T used to play Roblox and I had to take Roblox off him because adults are intercepting it and going in and being able to talk to kids.
28:06 Speaker 00 But adults are the worst.
28:08 Speaker 01 Adults are the worst, they're just the pits. But I think it's an amazing thing. And I think that it, it makes a parent's job easier because like some kids who are given iPhones and stuff like that, like at T school, you're not allowed to have iPhones. It's, it's a, it's a smartphone free school. So nobody can have a smartphone. So it's not like, oh, well, he has it, why can't I have it? Cause nobody has it.
28:27 Speaker 00 Yeah.
28:28 Speaker 01 And I think that will be the same with social media. Well, no one else is allowed on it. So you're not allowed on it.
28:31 Speaker 00 Yeah.
28:32 Speaker 01 Just makes it easier for parents, I think.
28:33 Speaker 00 Did you see her one who went viral from the BBC news clip? The young girl, because the BBC news went in, they're asking school kids like, what do you think about the ban? And she goes, what are you going to do now that you don't have a phone for, for the weekend or something? I can't remember. What would you do now if you don't have a phone for the weekend? And she's like, stare at the wall.
28:55 Speaker 00 Your one's like, okay, yeah, stare at the wall.
28:58 Speaker 01 Well, think about what we used to do when we were younger. Like, we had our phones, so there were just knock.
29:02 Speaker 00 We were playing with bricks and we were.
29:05 Speaker 01 Drinking. As we were drinking.
29:07 Speaker 00 Yeah, we're drinking feels.
29:08 Speaker 01 But like, it does, it does feel like it's a good step. But I do think that like, the thing behind that is you have to create other things for kids to do like.
29:17 Speaker 00 Totally.
29:18 Speaker 01 I saw Matt Hague, you know, that author.
29:20 Speaker 00 Yeah.
29:20 Speaker 01 Writing that like, they should be reinvesting in youth clubs and different things like that. And like, trying to get your kids into doing other things.
29:26 Speaker 00 Yeah.
29:26 Speaker 01 That that will be nice. But I don't think it's going to really happen for this generation. I think it will happen for T's generation and your kids' generation.
29:33 Speaker 00 Also, there's no na- there's no age verification. So they're just saying, so any kid can go up and put in the wrong age on Snapchat and they'll still get on.
29:41 Speaker 01 Yeah.
29:41 Speaker 00 Do you know what I mean?
29:42 Speaker 01 Like, I think it's, I think it's down to parents to be, to be.
29:45 Speaker 00 That's the ones that gave the phone.
29:47 Speaker 01 Yeah, I just won't be giving my kids a phone. But T is obsessed with getting this watch that you wear. And like, I can see where he is. Like, it makes sense. And he can ring like, four or five people on the watch. I haven't gotten it for him. And but like, it just means that like, let's say he's in school or something and he has an after school club or he's at a play date and like, he can send me, Sven, or like, I think he put four numbers in and he can send a message. And so some kids have that. That's fine.
30:10 Speaker 00 Would you not chip him? I would chip my kid. If I had a kid, I would chip her.
30:13 Speaker 01 Hundred percent.
30:14 Speaker 00 Yeah.
30:14 Speaker 01 I've got their Apple Watches.
30:15 Speaker 00 Yes.
30:16 Speaker 01 So I got an air tag and you can buy a watch.
30:19 Speaker 00 Yeah, it's brilliant.
30:20 Speaker 01 Put the air tag in the watch.
30:21 Speaker 00 Yeah.
30:22 Speaker 01 Sven, he's like, you're such a psychopath. I'm like, no.
30:25 Speaker 00 Not at all. Do you ever see those videos on TikTok, you're getting ready for the hurricane and they're like, they're sticking all sorts of like, chip, chips on their kids and all this jazz. Like, it's, yeah. Now, that's a, that's obviously when it comes to hurricane season. But like, whatever, Battersea Park, same thing.
30:40 Speaker 01 But I.
30:40 Speaker 00 You should hide a chip in them as well, because if they do get abducted, they, they'll take the Apple Watches off. I'd stitch one into them.
30:46 Speaker 01 I know. Yeah. I mean, that's.
30:48 Speaker 00 Crack them out.
30:49 Speaker 01 That does feel a bit psychotic. But you, but you lose kids. I got lost when I was younger. I remember we found like this 18 month old kid in the park. And yeah, it just walked away from the parents. And then like about like 200 metres away, there was some party going on. And we're like, is this anyone's child? And they were like, oh, it's like, yeah, your kid's just wandering on its own.
31:11 Speaker 00 I remember I found, well, I thought I found a dog outside my mum's house years ago. And I did a whole lap of the road and I brought it to the vet and everything. Turns out I'd taken it from the owner's garden. It was exactly, it was exactly where it was supposed to be.
31:24 Speaker 01 We did that with a dog called Jason when we were younger. We were convinced we'd found this stray dog and it was just a dog that lived on the road. I had, um, I had my, oh, I had my don't bothers. You know the way we have our recommendations of the week? Because I-
31:40 Speaker 00 We like to keep things negative around here.
31:42 Speaker 01 Well, the only thing is because I spent a long time watching one in Mykonos and me and Sven were fucking raging.
31:48 Speaker 00 Sorry to interrupt you. I just, I don't want to go funny, pull Benny Blanco on this. Remember Benny Blanco did an interview and his feet were dirty on the couch? And everyone was going absolutely nuts because he walks-
31:57 Speaker 01 Your feet aren't dirty.
31:58 Speaker 00 Are my feet okay?
31:59 Speaker 01 Show me. They're not Benny Blanco dirty. They're, they're fine.
32:02 Speaker 00 My tiles in the kitchen are a bit dark and I'm walking around barefoot. Also, I-
32:06 Speaker 02 Are you just trying to put WikiFeet content out there? Is that what you're doing?
32:09 Speaker 00 Shut up.
32:10 Speaker 01 Did you see the size of the picture my Sven took of my feet? He keeps 0.5ing me. It's his new thing. And like, you don't 0.5 giants. Like, I look like-
32:19 Speaker 00 What do you mean? He dragged the pool down?
32:21 Speaker 01 It just, it makes you look longer. So my foot is like four times the size it usually is. And it's already massive. I'm like, do you mind not fucking doing that, please? And my hands look like these like long alien hands.
32:32 Speaker 00 Sorry, go on anyway.
32:34 Speaker 01 My, my downs of the week, only because I want to save the viewers' time. Because remember we were watching, we were doing Gogglebox and we were watching that show, I Will Find You?
32:42 Speaker 00 Yeah.
32:42 Speaker 01 And I was like, oh my God, that looks like the best TV show ever. It's Harland Coben, is that who it is? And so I started watching with Sven. Three apps in, we knew it was shit. Well, we knew it was shit one app in.
32:54 Speaker 01 We had to watch it and I've done it all. I've done all the episodes. I mean, it was, I just don't think it's worth your time.
33:00 Speaker 00 Wow, okay. I'm de-influenced.
33:03 Speaker 01 Yeah.
33:03 Speaker 00 Okay, Grant.
33:04 Speaker 01 And also.
33:05 Speaker 00 Well, do you know what? I actually did start it and then I, and.
33:07 Speaker 01 You knew before I knew.
33:08 Speaker 00 I kind of wasn't that. I started and I was like, mm, I usually if I'm not like, you know.
33:13 Speaker 01 I just thought because it gripped me.
33:15 Speaker 00 It didn't grip me, but it might be a slow burn.
33:17 Speaker 01 No, well, it's not a slow burn because I watched the whole thing.
33:19 Speaker 00 Fine, it just doesn't burn. Yeah.
33:21 Speaker 01 And so we were, oh, will we go home and finish that?
33:24 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
33:25 Speaker 01 Like, we were just raging. And also the J Lo film. I wanted, I wanted to like it. I did. I wanted to like it, but no.
33:32 Speaker 00 Where she, where, where is the, like, I liked her Hustler era. And why has she gone back to the Made in Manhattan stuff? Hustler. That's so good. That's the J Lo we all want. Now, maybe it's a, maybe it's a cash grab. She's, Brett Goldstein's done it with her, isn't he?
33:45 Speaker 01 Because she did, that's the, the TV show she did, it's like, it just, it got to, so she's met this man that she works with and he's British and then like, he comes to her house. And she has a whole British room where like, she collects like, British things and she's really embarrassed. And I was like, oh no, this is just so shit.
34:01 Speaker 00 I'd say she needs the money.
34:03 Speaker 01 J Lo needs the money.
34:04 Speaker 00 I'd say she needs the money. When you are.
34:06 Speaker 01 She probably spends a lot of money.
34:07 Speaker 00 That's the thing. When you're operating at that level, you, you, you, you, you move into your wallet, as they say. I'd say she needs the cash. Because she cancelled her tour, do you remember?
34:14 Speaker 01 A lot of people are cancelling their tour though, because I don't think a lot of people have money to be going to concerts.
34:19 Speaker 00 And while we're here, Harris with Apollo, December 16th. Is it December 16th, Joe?
34:25 Speaker 01 It is.
34:26 Speaker 00 Are you sure?
34:28 Speaker 01 Yeah.
34:28 Speaker 00 December 16th, tickets still available.
34:31 Speaker 01 Uh, would you not have just done Wembley? This is, you did this last time with, uh, with, with.
34:35 Speaker 00 Speaking of Wembley. Guess where I'm going?
34:38 Speaker 01 To Harry Styles?
34:39 Speaker 00 Wembley.
34:40 Speaker 01 To Harry Styles?
34:41 Speaker 00 Yeah, this week.
34:42 Speaker 01 Oh my God, I wanted to go. I was invited and I couldn't go because he's not on until eight. Do you know that?
34:48 Speaker 00 I didn't.
34:48 Speaker 01 He's not on till around eight.
34:50 Speaker 00 I'm okay with that.
34:51 Speaker 01 I just thought, I can't.
34:52 Speaker 00 I'll get a good lie in in the morning and get my sheets done, get all my washing out, get it in. Yeah.
34:59 Speaker 01 I got invited to, I actually got invited to a box with a friend and I was like, I'm not gonna ruin that for you.
35:05 Speaker 00 Are you not coming to Wimbledon?
35:06 Speaker 01 Oh, that's a day event.
35:08 Speaker 00 Yeah, but are you not coming?
35:09 Speaker 01 Yes, I am going.
35:10 Speaker 00 When?
35:11 Speaker 01 The same day as you, I think.
35:12 Speaker 00 Yeah, okay, that makes sense.
35:13 Speaker 01 Who have you invited?
35:14 Speaker 00 I think I'm bringing Grace Campbell, if she ever replies to me.
35:17 Speaker 01 Uh, that'll be a good day, I think.
35:18 Speaker 00 Yeah, see, that's a day event. That's a day event, and then I'm going straight, like, this is.
35:22 Speaker 01 You're just going from Wimbledon to Harry Styles?
35:25 Speaker 00 The day of dreams.
35:26 Speaker 01 Fuck that.
35:27 Speaker 00 Now, in my defence, I've been working my tits off, I deserve a day like this, I deserve it, she says.
35:38 Speaker 01 I got invited to Harry Styles and I just said to my friend, I said, no, it's gonna be, it's just eight o'clock. I'm just gonna waste your ticket and I don't wanna waste the ticket and I don't wanna feel like I have to try and be fun when I'm not fun past seven.
35:52 Speaker 00 Well, I didn't get invited now, I invited myself, but like, that's, I also still feel that's acceptable. Apparently the show is.
35:58 Speaker 01 Oh, it's amazing.
35:59 Speaker 00 Banging. And like, I'm not, I'm not, like, I'm not gonna say, I, what I'm, how do I say this? I hate when people are like, and I'm not really, I am into him, I think he's an amazing performer, I think he's really talented. I think he's, this is him now really stepping into like, oh, this is a proper legacy.
36:13 Speaker 01 How many, is he doing like fourteen Wembly's? Like, it's incredible.
36:16 Speaker 00 Yeah, it's the record.
36:17 Speaker 01 It's incredible.
36:19 Speaker 00 I'm in. Who outsells Taylor Swift?
36:22 Speaker 01 Well, Harry Styles.
36:23 Speaker 00 Has he, Harry Styles?
36:23 Speaker 01 I would be the same, I don't know loads of his songs, but remember last time I said that he wasn't the best dancer at the Brits? Take it back.
36:30 Speaker 00 He's got moves, yeah.
36:31 Speaker 01 He's got moves, he's just duly put himself and he's just gotten really good at dancing.
36:35 Speaker 00 Yeah.
36:36 Speaker 01 Also, he puts on a good show. I love his crowd engagement, he's been doing gender reveals on stage. And he helped a girl find her sister at one point.
36:44 Speaker 00 He did.
36:45 Speaker 01 Yes, and he's just been doing fun things like that, he loves his fans and I just think, and he ran to Wembley from his house.
36:50 Speaker 00 I saw that.
36:51 Speaker 01 He did a 10K.
36:52 Speaker 00 I saw that.
36:53 Speaker 01 God, he's such a fucking moron.
36:54 Speaker 00 He doesn't drink. See, I'd run to the Apollo, but I'd never make it home. Do you know what I mean?
36:59 Speaker 01 Would you run to the Apollo now, come on?
37:00 Speaker 00 I've genu- I've often thought about cycling to the Apollo. I've never done it, but I've given it thought.
37:08 Speaker 01 Same thing.
37:08 Speaker 00 Yeah.
37:09 Speaker 01 It's the same thing.
37:09 Speaker 00 It is.
37:10 Speaker 01 Harry did his 10K and you thought about cycling to the Apollo.
37:13 Speaker 00 Yeah.
37:13 Speaker 01 So it is, I get it.
37:14 Speaker 00 Exactly.
37:14 Speaker 01 You're, you're the same person.
37:16 Speaker 00 Yeah, and my, my, my body appreciated the thought.
37:19 Speaker 01 I can't believe you're doing two things in one day. I'll get back to that. I will get back to that.
37:23 Speaker 00 I know. I, yeah, do you know what? It just, the two of them just fell on the day and I, and I wanted to do the two.
37:28 Speaker 01 You should promise you'll tell me when you go to sleep and everything, because that's the things I like to know.
37:31 Speaker 00 Of course, yeah, of course. You can come here and wait for me in the hallway.
37:34 Speaker 01 I don't care. I don't care about how, and I don't care about any of the gossip. I just want to know what time everybody went to bed.
37:41 Speaker 00 Yeah, I'll tell you what time everyone tapped out. But I'm actually really looking forward to it and I don't like crowds. I just have to keep a ra- I have to keep a check on myself in Wimbledon.
37:50 Speaker 01 Did you see?
37:51 Speaker 00 So I don't get over excited and drink too much bubbly stuff.
37:54 Speaker 01 Ah, you probably will then.
37:55 Speaker 00 And I'm going to tell you this, my skirt's even shorter this year.
37:58 Speaker 01 It is?
37:58 Speaker 00 Yeah. Remember Pat was going mad last year? She was like, remember she sent me that message? Don't hate me. What you're wearing, what you're wearing is not appropriate for Wimbledon. You need a longer A-line skirt.
38:10 Speaker 01 Well, I dressed like a slag this year.
38:11 Speaker 00 Yeah, let's go slaggy.
38:12 Speaker 01 Okay, well go slaggy.
38:14 Speaker 00 Slaggy sporties, sporty slags boys. That's the, that's the dress code.
38:17 Speaker 01 Fab. Did you see what Olivia Wilde said about Harry Styles? Do you remember?
38:22 Speaker 00 She did call her daddy, didn't she?
38:24 Speaker 01 She did call her daddy and she was talking certain things about Harry Styles, about people went absolutely crazy because she was like 10 years older than him and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But she also said that like when she'd have, when she'd have a fight with Jason Sudeikis, her husband, she'd say, well, I'm go- I'm going to Harry's. And like he would lose his mind so much. That's why one time he lay in front of the wheels of her car.
38:42 Speaker 00 He actually did that?
38:43 Speaker 01 Yeah, but imagine your partner's being like, I'm going to see Harry, anyone but Harry.
38:47 Speaker 00 I know, I know.
38:48 Speaker 01 Please not Harry, in those shorts with those tattoos.
38:52 Speaker 00 And he lay down in front of the car. That's true.
38:53 Speaker 01 I would lie down in front of the car. Jesus. I'd hang on to the boner.
38:58 Speaker 00 I don't know what he's done. I don't know what they've done, but like, there's nothing worse than your, when your, when your relationship is breaking up, like what an awful thing, what an awful situation where they're like, well, I'm going to go and get ridden senseless by someone hotter, younger, more successful and richer than you. And then you have to think about them riding. This is why I give them a lobotomy.
39:16 Speaker 01 I was listening back to our bonus, by the way, and I would like to do a corrections corner. There's no fucking way I'd be okay if Svenny started going out with, with Marco Robby.
39:26 Speaker 02 It was a big claim at the time.
39:28 Speaker 01 I was like, oh my god, I was real high horsey that day, like, oh, I wouldn't mind. Yeah, right, I'd be absolutely institutionalised.
39:35 Speaker 00 You'd have something to say, for sure, yeah.
39:38 Speaker 01 I was listening back and I was like, I was like, because we were talking about Ariana Grande and I was like, oh my god, I'd hate that. I'd hog your face.
39:48 Speaker 00 Yeah, no, I figured you'd have something to say about that.
39:49 Speaker 01 Yeah, well, I take it back, I'm sorry, I was just trying to be.
39:52 Speaker 00 Yeah, Margot, if you're listening, if you're listening to this, back off.
39:56 Speaker 01 Yeah, because I will be really upset.
39:57 Speaker 00 Yeah, because we know you want them.
39:59 Speaker 01 Yeah.
39:59 Speaker 00 Back off.
40:00 Speaker 01 Get lost, Margot. And one time I got jealous.
40:03 Speaker 00 She tried to, she in his DMs, is she like, is she?
40:05 Speaker 01 I don't know.
40:06 Speaker 00 She's, once she heard the pod, she was like a rat up a drainpipe, was she?
40:11 Speaker 01 I think she saw that he had done a sub three hour marathon and thought, I want to get in on this.
40:16 Speaker 00 Yeah, of course. Can I, can I issue a congratulations?
40:20 Speaker 01 Yeah.
40:20 Speaker 00 So, back to the World Cup. I wanted to congratulate the Scottish World Cup fans, they drank Boston dry.
40:30 Speaker 01 And they have made a legion of new fans themselves. The Americans are obsessed with the Scots.
40:36 Speaker 00 Yeah.
40:36 Speaker 01 I did see the English going over and slagging off the Scots, because I think there was a bit of jealousy there, because the Americans loved the Scots.
40:43 Speaker 00 They're winning them over.
40:43 Speaker 01 But they have enough room in their hearts for everybody, so I think that the English should just, they can be the, if the Scots are the tartan army, the English will be the red and white army, is that right? Is that what they're called?
40:56 Speaker 00 Sure.
40:57 Speaker 01 Yeah.
40:58 Speaker 00 I think if I was to join, I've decided to become an honorary Scottish.
41:03 Speaker 01 You're not Scottish, I'm Scottish.
41:05 Speaker 00 I will not rest until I bring a show to a town and they drink the place dry. It is such an achievement.
41:11 Speaker 01 Why don't you start getting into the, into the rugby? You'd love that.
41:15 Speaker 00 Would I?
41:16 Speaker 01 I think she'd like that. But just the Six Nations, because there's too much, there's too much of that stuff.
41:21 Speaker 00 I don't like the vegetable ears on those lads.
41:23 Speaker 01 They're not great. I'd always wear the hat, I wouldn't want to have those ears, and you can only get them pumped out every so often.
41:29 Speaker 00 I did a list of towns I think I could bring a show to and we would drink dry.
41:34 Speaker 01 Okay.
41:36 Speaker 00 Knock, Swansea, the Vatican, Tramore, Winnipeg, Stratford-upon-Avon.
41:42 Speaker 01 Edinburgh, Glasgow, Aberdeen.
41:43 Speaker 00 Potentially. So if anyone's listening from those towns, that is a threat.
41:47 Speaker 01 And we will see you shortly.
41:48 Speaker 00 I will be there. Yeah. And I think we can drink a dry.
41:51 Speaker 01 On that note, thank you, everybody.
41:53 Speaker 00 Are we finished?
41:54 Speaker 01 And goodbye.
41:55 Speaker 00 Jesus.
41:57 Speaker 01 My knickers are wet now because I'm so sweaty.
42:00 Speaker 02 I think we'll end there then, won't we?
42:06 Speaker 04 This has been a global production.
Previous MTGM EXTRA! "We've been sleeping together for years, but he's NEVER committed." Next MTGM EXTRA! "My body took over and I left." Page updated October 30, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated