Pod Insights My Therapist Ghosted Me MTGM EXTRA! "Joanne's a Flat Earther" About this episode Vogue is back from St Bartholomew, and Joanne is back from NYC.
In this jet-lagged episode, they discuss losing your luggage, Katy Perry going to Space, and a wedding dilemma.
Tickets for Joanne's tour Pinotphile are now LIVE: www.joannemcnally.com
Vogue's Book Tour: www.fane.co.uk/vogue-williams
If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected]
Please review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/
For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com
This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.
Transcript 0:01 Speaker 00 This is a Global Player original podcast.
0:11 Speaker 01 Tour plugs, Penafall is officially a go-go. Next up, I have tickets available for Ipswich, Southend, Bury St Edmunds, Colchester. Norwich is sold out, but there's tickets for Leicester. They're the last of the UK dates this side of the summer.
0:30 Speaker 02 Leicester, nice cheese. I'll be there.
0:32 Speaker 01 Oh.
0:33 Speaker 02 Joanne, I've got big news.
0:35 Speaker 01 Hit me. I love big news. I love all news sizes, but yes, big better.
0:39 Speaker 02 Bear by Vogue goes to 20, I have to say this. I have to say this. It's like a twitch. We are now available in Boots UK.
0:49 Speaker 01 Ah, great news.
0:51 Speaker 02 I know. And I would like to thank everybody who put so much time and effort going into Boots Ireland to help us get into Boots UK. So now we're in Boots UK and everyone who wants us in Boots UK, we're there now.
1:03 Speaker 01 This is, this is genuinely great news because I can't always make it to your bedroom drawer. So I did go into Boots UK recently to try and look for you and you weren't there. And I was, I was confused because I have to say, I already thought you were in Boots UK. That's the kind of, that's the kind of friend I am.
1:18 Speaker 02 No, Joanne did tell me we were on. So I was like, no, we're not on there. And she was like, you should get on. And I was like, oh, wait, we are.
1:24 Speaker 01 And on Zap.
1:26 Speaker 02 Zap, yeah.
1:26 Speaker 01 Yeah. Yeah. Congratulations. Great news.
1:30 Speaker 02 Thank you very much. You can shop Bear by Vogue at Boots UK, which is just fantastic news. I'm going to go and see if there's one in Paddington Station where I'm off to now. And I am doing my, my book. Well, my book is on pre-sale at the moment. It's gone to print.
1:43 Speaker 01 Whoop.
1:43 Speaker 02 There's no going back now. Wait till you see what I'm saying about you.
1:47 Speaker 01 The elves are tapping away, getting it ready.
1:51 Speaker 02 The book has gone to print. The link for that is in my bio. And also I have got my two book dates in May. Garan Noon is going to be the host of the one in Dublin. And Lou Sanders is going to be the host of the one in London.
2:04 Speaker 01 Ah, lovely.
2:06 Speaker 02 So you can get the tickets on the link on my Instagram. If you'd like to come, I'd love to see you there.
2:11 Speaker 01 Two great choices.
2:13 Speaker 02 I know. I'm thrilled. I'm thrilled.
2:18 Speaker 01 Well, look who it is. Back from St Bartholomew's.
2:22 Speaker 02 Back from St Bartholomew. I've had to start wearing shoes again.
2:27 Speaker 01 Dear God. The boho vibes are over for you for seven days. Where are you up to next?
2:33 Speaker 02 We were in St Bart's. I'm like, at Christmas, it can be a bit more jazzy and stuff, but like, we were there at Easter, so it was really relaxed. So I was honestly, like, I didn't, I never blow dried my hair once when I was there. So my hair was just always wet, like just threw it in the bowl, no makeup or anything. And I was kind of okay with it until like, it started getting busy the last week. And I was like, wow. Like, there was bouncy blow dries, like these gorgeous looking girls. And you know, when you're walking around, you're like, oh my God, I actually feel like a pig.
3:04 Speaker 01 It's high end. You can't be going over there with your, with your, with your flip flops and your khaki pants.
3:10 Speaker 02 No flip flops.
3:12 Speaker 01 And your, your time tops from the Cozanne Road.
3:15 Speaker 02 Honestly, I, I did. Remember you told me that you dress up for the beach. I'm like, so I've always been like, maybe I do dress up for the beach until like, they all started arriving. And I was like, there's, there was even a few click clacks going around heels.
3:26 Speaker 01 On the beach?
3:27 Speaker 02 Well, she, she was one of them, by the way. She.
3:31 Speaker 01 But drag babies aside, were there grown women wearing heels on the beach?
3:35 Speaker 02 Not on the beach. Up at the bar, up at the bar.
3:38 Speaker 01 That's so glam.
3:39 Speaker 02 Like just wearing a little heel. I know they were very glam. I hadn't seen the likes of it before. I'm gonna have to rethink the wardrobe for next year. Imagine me going around in stilettos. I'd look frightening. Imagine me stomping around in a bikini and stilettos.
3:52 Speaker 01 I mean, it's quite the look. It's, I don't think even the Love Island girlies wear heels with their bikinis, do they? That's more kind of bodybuilding exercise.
4:00 Speaker 02 Towie.
4:01 Speaker 01 Do Towie wear heels with their bikinis? Do they be click clacking around the pool? Yeah.
4:05 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, well, sure. That's what I used. That was my modeling outfit. I'd just be going back to my old modeling outfits. Just need a placard. Just get a placard and walk around.
4:13 Speaker 01 That much for it. Yeah, mate, in St Bart's, yeah.
4:16 Speaker 02 Eden Rock. The club sandwich is on sale.
4:19 Speaker 01 Do they do happy hour renting over there? No?
4:21 Speaker 02 No.
4:22 Speaker 01 Yeah, of course.
4:23 Speaker 02 No.
4:23 Speaker 01 There's probably a test. If you ask about a happy hour, you just get immediately evicted from the island. You're poor. Spit in your face, put you on a boat, send you away.
4:34 Speaker 02 Yeah, well, I was at one restaurant and obviously I don't drink cocktails all the time, but I don't know how much they cost in London.
4:43 Speaker 01 They can range anywhere from between 10 to 15 pounds. Cocktails are. Now, I do think cocktails are one of the biggest cons going. I think the, the, the up sale on cocktails is, it's a, it's a con.
4:55 Speaker 02 Thirty five euro for, and I, and I wanted one and I said, no, I'm sorry. I have to draw the line. Thirty five euro, you're taking. Sure, Brian, our friend who doesn't drink, got a bathtub of this cocktail that wasn't even a cocktail, 25 euro, because he doesn't drink. So there's no alcohol in it. It was just this little bathtub with a little rubber duck in it. And foam. And I was like, send that back. You're not having it.
5:18 Speaker 01 10 out of 10 for presentation. That's amazing. Well, they have to somehow justify charging people that kind of cash for no alcohol. If and ever I go to St Bart's, um, I won't be buying cocktails, but I will be drinking. I will just take mouthwash with me or anything that contains alcohol in it that is cheap. I'll buy a bottle of Listerine in the airport on the way over and make cocktails out of that.
5:39 Speaker 02 Supermarket, supermarket. Get yourself vodka. They'll sneak it everywhere. They won't know.
5:44 Speaker 01 Yeah.
5:44 Speaker 02 Cause, cause they will be known as cheap as us on that island.
5:47 Speaker 01 No, they'll be, I'll just do aerosols.
5:51 Speaker 02 We might have to resort to it.
5:53 Speaker 01 Slamming a can of Dove just to get some kick out of life, rather than paying 35 quid for a bath of vodka in the bar.
6:00 Speaker 02 A bath? I, oh no.
6:03 Speaker 01 Did you keep, can you keep the little bath? Did you have to hand the little bath back?
6:06 Speaker 02 I wouldn't mind if you could keep the bath. It would feel more worthwhile. I don't know what you, I was thinking Elf on the Shelf. Sorry, I'm bringing them up again. I know it's very far away.
6:13 Speaker 01 It's April. Give us a break.
6:15 Speaker 02 I was just thinking what I could use the bath for.
6:18 Speaker 01 Jesus.
6:19 Speaker 02 Honestly, there was these glasses. I've decided to up my coffee game as well because there was these glasses, like a fancy glass for a flat white with a, it's basically like a mug, but in glass version, but those really fancy glasses with all the cutouts. And I was like, God, I just, why don't I drink my coffee out of this? Like, why, why can't I make this happen? And I'm gonna make it happen.
6:39 Speaker 01 You need to romanticise your life a bit more. That's what they say online now, just kind of make your life more romantic. For yourself, I mean, to kind of up your game, up your bougie game, up your presentation skills.
6:49 Speaker 02 Yeah, and I like an ice glass. I just, it's like, I bought these glasses for myself in Hoth and I hide them from Amber because she smashes everything, so they're in a separate cupboard. She's not allowed to use those ones. I'm gonna do the same for myself here.
7:00 Speaker 01 Yeah.
7:00 Speaker 02 I see you liked the wine glass I got you in the end.
7:03 Speaker 01 I did, did you?
7:09 Speaker 02 Why do you look so nice today?
7:11 Speaker 01 Well, because I know what you're like. You could have me up on the internet within five minutes without my consent or knowledge. And I'd be mortified.
7:20 Speaker 01 I've grown here at a house cast.
7:21 Speaker 02 Is he listening? Hello, Grood.
7:23 Speaker 01 He's not, but he's in the background. He's listening to himself doing a podcast. He's editing his own podcast. Thank God we don't have to do that.
7:28 Speaker 02 Oh my God, there'd be nothing left.
7:30 Speaker 01 You have that big yellow lamp I have, you've seen it.
7:32 Speaker 02 Oh no, I want that lamp. If anyone's getting, why are you getting rid of it?
7:35 Speaker 01 No, not, it's only just arrived, it's only just moved in. He's like, you die, can I have it? I said, I can. And then he was like, well, stop getting all your smears and mammograms.
7:45 Speaker 01 And I said, well, I don't get them anyway. And his face absolutely dropped. And I, this is literally two minutes ago before I logged on, he's still looking at me, his jaw's on the floor.
7:56 Speaker 02 Ah, you have to be getting your smears.
7:58 Speaker 01 I said, Grood, excuse me, Grood, I said, I'm way too young for a mammogram. And he went, I'd say they give it to you. What age do people get mammograms at? I wonder what, Emily, would you mind Googling that, what age you'd advise? We might as well learn something again about our bodies, well, and women's health, because.
8:12 Speaker 02 Tell us about the period again, will you?
8:14 Speaker 01 God knows, we're ill informed.
8:19 Speaker 01 Fifty to seventy, Grood, fifty, fifty to seventy.
8:23 Speaker 02 The cheek of him.
8:24 Speaker 01 Gonna kick you out of the flat, go down to the windmill hotel. Get your mammograms.
8:29 Speaker 02 Don't even the lamp, hit him where it really hurts.
8:32 Speaker 01 Yeah.
8:34 Speaker 02 Do will and leave it to me, just in spite.
8:36 Speaker 01 Yeah, I'll throw myself out the window with not a smear or a mammogram done, just to teach them, lads, and they give the lamp to you.
8:44 Speaker 01 Yeah, how do you feel about that?
8:45 Speaker 02 That'll learn them.
8:46 Speaker 01 That'll teach them, yeah. I mean, I'll be dead, but I'll know on the way down. Before I hit the floor, I'll know there's a lesson about to be learnt and it'll be worth it.
8:54 Speaker 02 And I'll be happy either way, let's be honest. I'll get the lamp, I'll get the lamp, or else I'll get you. I'll get something. Well, I tell you about my, my day so far today. You know when bad things happen, they happen in threes.
9:04 Speaker 01 Allegedly, if you believe in the universe, which you know I don't, but yes, carry on.
9:07 Speaker 02 Okay, well, I do. So basically, what happened was, the usual flight that we get is at 10 o'clock at night. That's the flight that was always the way home from some parts. And it's like, obviously, it's not great, but you can still get a little bit of sleep. The flight that we had to get, they changed it to 20 to 5, so my kids wouldn't sleep. We all got about two hours sleep, you know how I feel about that, honestly, two hours sleep. And then that happened, and then when we got to the airport, we got to the taxi place and they basically took, you know, and they're like, I'll help you with those bags. And I was dragging two of our carry-on bags. And then they swapped drivers and we lost a carry-on bag because obviously we hadn't seen the change. So if anyone, I don't know, I'm gonna put it out there.
9:46 Speaker 01 Are we putting it out to the universe? Are we doing one of these things like I lost my engagement ring in a car park? Please. If anyone sees it, kind of thing?
9:51 Speaker 02 I lost a black antler hand luggage at Gatwick Airport. It's got sandals in it that I've had for like six years. Like, it's not the most, it's not like I lost my laptop and stuff like that. That wasn't in it, but it was sentimentally little bits. And also two of the blow-up beds for the kids, which I'd really rather not buy again. And I'm just sad because I loved the bag and it wasn't my fault. And that's the thing, and I was so tired. So then, yeah. What was the third thing? I'm too tired now to remember.
10:20 Speaker 02 Oh no, I have another thing. Oh yeah, my makeup bag burst everywhere.
10:23 Speaker 01 All, all salvageable, except for the sandals, I would say. Would we say that?
10:29 Speaker 02 Or just honestly, I'm trying not to cry now because there was a Roxanne First necklace in there that I absolutely loved as well. Imagine how much it stings me. I don't do this often. You're so well-equipped for this situation.
10:40 Speaker 01 Yeah, I'm water off a last dog's back. I really let this stuff roll out of me. It's a better way to live your life.
10:47 Speaker 02 Well, now, I haven't given up yet. It's only happened today. I've just put my claim into Gatwick Airport. Come on Gatwick Airport, do it for me. And also, I haven't even, I haven't even asked St Anthony yet.
10:57 Speaker 01 What time zone is he on? He might be up yet.
10:59 Speaker 02 He'll be up. It's quarter past one over here. I'm gonna hit him up right after this part. I just need to, I need to put a real good one in. I'm gonna have to do a good two minutes there.
11:05 Speaker 01 I wonder what time it is in La La Land, wherever you pray to. If you're St Anthony, absolutely no job.
11:14 Speaker 01 Do you remember?
11:15 Speaker 02 Listen, I will try anything if this, and if I get the bag back, it won't be because of Gatwick Airport. It will be because of St Anthony.
11:22 Speaker 01 Look above, doing you a solid. Do you remember the time I lost my passport in the airport? So I went into departures, got through like check-in and everything, and then I was buzzing around inside, waiting to board the flight. And you know, I like to board last because I don't understand what the rush is to get on the plane because it's tight and blah, blah. So I'll kind of sit back until everyone else is on and the gate's kind of flashing. But I'm watching, I'm always just sitting there watching. And I went to board, the airport was calling it. And it was Ryanair, of course, they wouldn't let me on. And it was flying from London to Dublin. Ryanair wouldn't let me on. And I was like, our Lingus would never do this. Went to the Erlingas desk and they're like, no, we can't, we can't let you on either. I was like, oh, rats. But yeah, I never, ever turned up. But never turned up, never, ever turned up. Very strange.
12:06 Speaker 02 Oh, well, that gives me a great sense of hope. Thank you.
12:09 Speaker 01 And the Irish passport, of course, it never turned up. Sure, it's worth 60 grand or something.
12:12 Speaker 02 Yeah. I know you have two, just have a backup just in case. Well, you can have that little, the card and you have your passport. So you've got your passport card and your passport.
12:22 Speaker 01 We're the Faberge egg of passwords.
12:24 Speaker 02 Oh, can I also say one thing about Ireland? We are the safest country to live in in Europe.
12:29 Speaker 01 Are we?
12:30 Speaker 02 It's down to myself and Joanna. Wish I'd lost my bag there because you know what? It'd be at my house now.
12:34 Speaker 01 Are you sure that's true now?
12:36 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah.
12:36 Speaker 01 Who does these studies? Because I, I feel like a lot of.
12:39 Speaker 02 I don't care once we win.
12:40 Speaker 01 Yeah, you're right, Jo. Let's not fact check that at all. Yeah, okay, that sounds, that sounds a good.
12:48 Speaker 01 I'm delighted to hear that.
12:50 Speaker 02 Me too.
12:51 Speaker 01 Yeah.
12:51 Speaker 02 I was, because I'm so patriotic, I was just like, yeah.
12:55 Speaker 01 Do you remember I found someone's purse or wallet on the train once? And.
13:00 Speaker 02 And we went out in the piss.
13:03 Speaker 01 Yeah, do you remember that? Fleeced the bank accounts, ran ragged, there was keys and it broke into the house.
13:11 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah.
13:12 Speaker 01 Took the TV, yeah.
13:13 Speaker 02 That's where she got the platter's bed.
13:18 Speaker 01 And the skis. I'm a full techno gym, I can back there now off the back of that gaff that we robbed. And then, of course, I was like, oh, you know, I was like, I'm gonna, you know, get it back and everything. And we did find, I did end up finding the person who owned the wallet. And it's so nice, it's, it's a great feeling to do something good. But of course, then I dumped the whole thing on Pat, because I was like, Pat, you know, I'm not going to be able to work out getting this thing back to them.
13:43 Speaker 02 No.
13:44 Speaker 01 Where Pat then was down at the post office, yeah. She sorted it in the end. And of course, it took me ages to get the purse back. And he was like, oh, can I, any chat? And I was like, oh, no good deed goes unpunished.
13:55 Speaker 02 That's why you didn't get your passport back, because actually Pat did the good deed in the end. You didn't follow through, so then the karma didn't come back for you, you know?
14:03 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah, you know.
14:04 Speaker 02 You don't believe in karma either, do you?
14:05 Speaker 01 I don't believe in it.
14:06 Speaker 02 You don't believe in karma? What the hell do you believe in?
14:09 Speaker 01 Nothing, I have no belief system. I'm repeatedly telling you this, I believe in absolutely nothing. It's tragic.
14:14 Speaker 02 At first she tells me she doesn't believe in ghosts, now it's saying, Anthony, what the fuck did he do to you?
14:18 Speaker 01 I'm a science girl.
14:20 Speaker 02 Okay, tell me you believe in that doll they put outside weddings so it doesn't rain. What's the doll in Ireland?
14:27 Speaker 01 Come on now, Vogue. I barely believe in Ireland.
14:29 Speaker 02 I cannot, listen, I can't remember his name because I've only had two hours sleep. Did I mention that?
14:35 Speaker 01 Apparently Australia's a fake country. Did you hear about this? Did you ever hear that conspiracy theory? Apparently it's not true.
14:39 Speaker 02 Joanne's a flat earther.
14:40 Speaker 01 I'm a flat earther, yeah.
14:50 Speaker 02 Is Katy Perry going to space?
14:52 Speaker 01 Oh my God. I was gonna save this for the main. Let's just go to the main because I have a bit of jet lag at the moment. And when I say a bit, I mean like a violent amount. So I'm awake on, I basically. But I'm lying awake at night and I'm watching TV and I'm scrolling, I'm doing all the bits and bobs. But mostly my thought process is, why the fuck is Katy Perry going to space? It's my big question. And now, I haven't bothered looking into it. I think it is a PR stunt as such. I also Googled what quantifies as space? It's only 62 miles up in the air. France is further away.
15:25 Speaker 02 Is she in the atmos- out of the atmosphere or?
15:27 Speaker 01 She's breaking whatever little ceiling they have on, whoever decided what space is. So she's going up 62 miles up and then she's technically in space. They'll probably do a lap of the place and then she's coming back down.
15:38 Speaker 02 I couldn't be arsed.
15:38 Speaker 01 Could you be arsed?
15:40 Speaker 02 Couldn't be arsed, having to put on all the gear and stuff. It's like scuba diving. No, thanks.
15:46 Speaker 01 Then I Googled what the distance from here to Paris is and it's further than 62 miles. And then I took a metal towel and I passed out. So that's as far as my research has gone. But she, I mean, it's a hulla- it's a big hullabaloo for very little, as far as I'm concerned.
16:00 Speaker 02 So it's Jeff Bezos' wife is going as well. Lauren Sanchez?
16:04 Speaker 01 I hope she has her bupanthen ready for her skin because it's gonna be a lot of drying out if she's going 62 miles up into the air.
16:10 Speaker 02 Well, they're only probably going up for like, what, a few hours? Like, they'll take an hour. They're going up for lunch and coming back.
16:15 Speaker 01 She'll be back by lunchtime.
16:17 Speaker 02 Maybe it wouldn't be the worst and I wouldn't mind if I was back by lunchtime. I'm not being like those two that were stuck up there for nine months and they came back down and they didn't look great. Let's be honest, they didn't look great.
16:25 Speaker 01 No, now I'd say they went further than 62 miles. Like, I'd say Katy's going up with the full face of glam. Like, I don't think it's gonna be the same thing. I don't think she's going up to South Africa to see if we can live on Mars. Like, I don't think she's doing the real work of the astronauts. I think she's just going up to Fanny Abad up there. But like I said, 62 miles, I couldn't believe it. Now, that could be completely factually incorrect. I might have read it wrong. But I'm pretty sure it's 62 miles up in the sky. Should I be further than that?
16:47 Speaker 02 Yeah, first, no, hang on. No, because we're 26,000 feet, isn't that right? And 36,000 feet when you fly. Ah, listen, it's not the day to be working this out, to be honest with you.
16:57 Speaker 01 Google it there.
16:58 Speaker 02 Usually I'm really good at maths. You know I am.
17:00 Speaker 01 Do I?
17:00 Speaker 02 Because I love money.
17:02 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah, sorry.
17:07 Speaker 01 That is, yeah, that's true. Your eyes are like two abacus's, abacay.
17:15 Speaker 02 Okay, let me look it up. Okay. No, I can't do it. I just, I can't, I don't have it in me today, Emily. I'm sorry. I can't work that out.
17:21 Speaker 01 Olivia Munn came out and she was like, really? With everything that's going on? We're using all this money to send Katy Perry to space? And I know it's not just Katy Perry. And I, I do feel like Katy Perry is trying to do, she's trying to, you know.
17:34 Speaker 02 She's got an album to sell. Her tour didn't do that well. She's, she's working her.
17:38 Speaker 01 The last one struggled a bit, but I, I, and look, it's a flex. You've gone to space. I mean, that's quite the, quite the conversation starter.
17:45 Speaker 02 Yeah. And loads of people want to do that.
17:47 Speaker 01 That's going to put you on a lot of dinner party invite lists.
17:49 Speaker 02 I do feel that people can sometimes, like you can say that about kind of anything. Ah, with everything going on, really?
17:56 Speaker 01 I know.
17:56 Speaker 02 It sounds like something my mom would say to me and I'm like, Jesus Christ, Sandra.
18:00 Speaker 01 I shouldn't go down that road. People are dying, Kim. I shouldn't go down that road. I wonder what you, like, what would you do flying up to space? Would you download a couple of TV shows, a couple of Married at First Sight to kill the time? Or are you chatting to people about the fact you're flying to space? Is there an in-flight service? Is there a trolley? Is there a trolley on a spaceship? Is there a trolley?
18:17 Speaker 02 I wouldn't say there's a trolley. It's not for you, Joanne.
18:18 Speaker 01 Well, I'm fucked out of my car.
18:20 Speaker 02 I don't know. Listen, let's do a deep dive. We'll find out how long it takes to get up there, what they're going to eat, because they won't even be eating nice stuff, I wouldn't think. It just, it won't be, it won't be like flying Kylie Air or Kim Air.
18:30 Speaker 01 Oh, no, it's not going, it's not going to be a chicken or fish situation.
18:33 Speaker 02 No, no, no, no, definitely not. Not for us. Not for us. We weren't invited, but it's not for us.
18:37 Speaker 01 There will be, I'm, I'm assuming there'll be a space gin involved. There'd have to be. I'm sure they've heard.
18:42 Speaker 02 I just don't know. I think it doesn't come out of the glass.
18:45 Speaker 01 NASA contacted me and asked me if I wanted to do a collab on a space gin.
18:48 Speaker 02 Oh, did they? How unusual.
18:56 Speaker 02 Um, will we do some emails?
18:58 Speaker 01 Yeah.
18:59 Speaker 02 I've got an issue. I'd be really grateful for your advice on. I'm getting married in May and my mum has just said she's 90% sure she isn't going to come.
19:08 Speaker 01 Oh, 90%, okay. Read on.
19:11 Speaker 02 Um, for context, she left my dad 10 years ago to be by herself. They had a horrible three-year divorce and haven't had any contact since. I've always been in the middle with everyone, but had a closer relationship with her than my older sister. She says she's a chronic pain condition that has just been diagnosed, but the timing seems really fishy. I know she's been apprehensive about attending and my dad's new fiance, ouch, will be there. But it's not about her. I mean, we agreed she would bring her best friend, who is great. Her best friend is trying to convince her to come, but it sounds like she's made up her mind. I've only spoken to my mum about it once when she dropped the bomb. What do I do? What would you do? I really want to say, if you don't come, you're dead to me, but that feels like the nuclear option, I would agree.
19:53 Speaker 02 Should I get over it and be thankful there won't be any scenes at the wedding between her and my dad's new partner? Or do I tell her how much it hurts that she won't be at her own daughter's wedding?
20:01 Speaker 01 We don't know anything about the back end of the relationship with her and her mother. Did she say they were close or anything? What is that?
20:06 Speaker 02 I think that she's closer to the mother than the than the sister is. So she does have a good relationship with the mom. But I just, if my, okay, so if my dad was alive, I don't think my mom would want to come to a wedding that he was at. Be it mine or anyone else's. Yeah, I really like, they just didn't get on at all. And I just don't think she'd like that. And I can, and to be honest with you, obviously I'd be, I'd have been really upset, but like, I'd understand where she had come from. Because she had been through so much shit with him that I can get it. And I think maybe your mom as well, what makes it worse is that the new fiance is there. That's gonna sting.
20:41 Speaker 01 Can you spit up a wedding? Is it, what's the etiquette around that? If you say one comes to the church, one comes to the after, is there one comes to the after between five and six? And one comes between seven and eight. Is that an option or is that insane?
20:52 Speaker 02 I think that that's not fair of the mom to be asking her to do something like that. Like it's her wedding day. And I feel like if her mom can maybe suck it up a little bit.
21:00 Speaker 01 Doesn't sound like she's gonna suck it up.
21:01 Speaker 02 No.
21:02 Speaker 01 Communication is key, but we always, we always say this, like we invented us, we're the Mel Robbins of the Lethem theory. We're like, we invented this idea that communication is important. I definitely have it out with her and be like, do you understand how upset I am about this? And then she will obviously kind of counter communicate back and say, well, this is how strongly I feel about this. And this is a deal breaker for me. Yeah, she's probably using the chronic illness as an excuse, as people do. But if it upsets her, if she, if she feels she's gonna be that, like it would take a lot for the mother, if the relationship is good with the daughter to say or not go.
21:35 Speaker 02 Yeah.
21:36 Speaker 01 So that's obviously, you know, and then I think saying you're dead to me, I don't think that's really, don't do that, don't do that.
21:41 Speaker 02 No, sit down and have a conversation. You might be able to see her side, then she might be able to understand where you're coming from. And then you'll come to a happy medium, which I would hope would be the thing. But like, I suppose when you think about going to a wedding with any of your exes, like if I thought about going to a wedding with my ex being there, I'd be really like, like it'd be very awkward, but I'd still go. But like, it'd be very, very awkward. And imagine like they're there with their new partner, like it's just, oh God.
22:06 Speaker 01 That and the stress of it. I was due to work with an ex of mine and I actually cancelled in the end.
22:13 Speaker 02 Oh no.
22:14 Speaker 01 Because I was like, I, I didn't understa- I didn't understand what was ahead of me. I didn't know how we were gonna interact. I thought it was horrible. I think the, I think the whole event was cancelled in the end.
22:22 Speaker 02 It was bloody lucky.
22:23 Speaker 01 Cancel the wedding, cancel the wedding. Covid time. But I pulled out because I was like, no, no, no, no, I'm not. The stress of trying to anticipate the, the interaction and what was gonna be like. And was he gonna bring someone? Did I need to bring someone? Was so stressful that I was like, you know what? This actually isn't worth it. This isn't worth my mental peace. So I pulled out. So I can understand completely from the mother's perspective, if she has an issue with the new fiance.
22:45 Speaker 02 Yeah, I think, I think the only thing you can do is sit down and talk to your mom and hopefully that you can come to some kind of arrangement.
22:50 Speaker 01 Also, can you, like, again, maybe this, I don't, I, I don't know the etiquette because I never have and nor will I ever marry. However, would the dad not be like to the fiance, do you know what? It's probably not appropriate that you come because the mother would like to go.
23:01 Speaker 02 How long has the fiance been in the family? Like three years and like that's the dad's partner. And I don't really think that then you're starting another kind of family war that's gonna just be a shit show. Cause imagine you're the fiance with the dad and like, ugh.
23:13 Speaker 01 The dynamics around weddings and the politics around weddings. My God, you need three spinning tea shocks.
23:20 Speaker 02 Well, do you know what? I'm so glad because Svenny and I, remember we got married in Scotland and that was meant to be like our registry wedding. We weren't, that was meant to just be like where we go and sign off that we're married. And we had such a nice time with like 22 people and we were like, you know, imagine we have to organise a big massive wedding now and it's gonna cost us an arm and a leg. And then there'd be all the fighting with like, who has to come, who doesn't have to come. Even like with both sides of my family and stuff like that. Like, do you know what I mean? There'd be awkwardness and ah, elope, elope.
23:51 Speaker 01 You'd be thrilled. You'd be thrilled if Sandra didn't take out to your wedding. You'd be like, that's the last fish dinner. He can scrub.
23:56 Speaker 02 Sandra would have to come. So I'd scratch other people away, not Sandra.
23:59 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, of course. Yeah.
24:04 Speaker 01 It just ends up being you, Sandra, not even Spencer. Whatever she needs. I know, we love our mothers. We adore them. We'll do whatever it takes.
24:10 Speaker 02 I tried to bring my, I tried to bring her away with me though. Now, at least your mom will go places. My mom's like, no, Spain, London, Dublin. That's it. And I'm like, God.
24:19 Speaker 01 Yeah, no, my mom, because when I was in New York, Pat was like, I'd love to go. I haven't actually invited her, but I was like, okay, well, next time we'll head over for sure. Although Fitzpatrick's, they invited us to play paddle.
24:31 Speaker 02 They have a paddle course and that's a bit far away from me now.
24:34 Speaker 01 They have a fucking paddle course.
24:35 Speaker 02 I'd have to get the dart 45 minutes, couldn't do it.
24:38 Speaker 01 I said, there's no way I was going to travel out that far.
24:41 Speaker 02 Why would I go out there when I have hope on my doorstep?
24:45 Speaker 01 Maybe I'm good, really good at paddle and we can play it from the south side to the north side. Maybe I'll be re, my all great arm strength and we can bat away 62 miles.
24:53 Speaker 02 Southsiders and northsiders don't like each other in Ireland, so, so Joanne and I don't talk at home.
24:58 Speaker 01 That's longer than that space thing. We're further apart in Dublin than Katie's going to space. Does that make sense? I could paddle 62 miles.
25:06 Speaker 02 Well, everybody, thank you so much for listening. And again, if, if there's anyone around the Gatwick airport area, please look out for my luggage. I would be eternally grateful. And that's it.
25:17 Speaker 01 Have you know, I'm surprised you don't have that label to within an inch of its life and chipped and all sorts.
25:23 Speaker 02 I can't explain to you how much that bag never leaves my sight.
25:26 Speaker 01 Ah, infuriating.
25:29 Speaker 02 Obviously this wasn't my fault. The other bags are all chipped. Okay. Everyone, thank you so much for listening. Bye.
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