Pod Insights My Therapist Ghosted Me MTGM EXTRA! "Is she going to be a problem?" About this episode This week, a disturbing tale from Vogue's childhood where she tickled an unnamed victim until they could literally take no more. Plus, Joanne half-heartedly commits to exercising for 20 minutes a day, every day.
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Transcript 0:02 Speaker 00 This is a Global Player original podcast.
0:10 Speaker 01 Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Vogue Williams and
0:16 Speaker 02 Jo Attiwell.
0:17 Speaker 01 Oh, Jo.
0:19 Speaker 02 Morning, Matt and Jo. Morning, Matt.
0:20 Speaker 01 I have a complaint.
0:22 Speaker 02 Oh, Jesus, let's go.
0:24 Speaker 01 Sorry, that's Joanne McNally, everyone, because she didn't say Joanne McNally.
0:28 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah, sorry, in case at this stage they still haven't caught us.
0:31 Speaker 01 Can I show you something?
0:32 Speaker 02 Yeah.
0:32 Speaker 01 I treated myself, right, I'm not flashing you, I treated myself to tights. I would usually get my tights in Marks and Spencer. These tights, fifteen ninety-nine for a pair of tights. I haven't even left the house and they've ripped. Can I bring them back to the shop and be like, dudes, these ripped when I put them on? Like, I want another pair.
0:53 Speaker 02 Yeah, of course you can. Do you know what I think would really suit you? All joking aside, do you know what Joe Lysit has that kind of consumer programme?
1:00 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:01 Speaker 02 I honestly think, and I'm not like teasing, I think you would be really good hosting a kind of a light-hearted, slightly irreverent consumer programme, like consumer watchdog programme. What do you think, Jo? Vogue's Bargains. Yeah, something, it's all bargain-based.
1:20 Speaker 01 The bargain bin with Vogue.
1:22 Speaker 02 Yeah. Vogue, Karen Williams, coming to you, Channel Four, Channel Five, UTV, whatever's going.
1:28 Speaker 01 Bitching, yeah, bitching bin with Vogue, bitching bin, basic bargain bitching bin.
1:34 Speaker 02 Let's pitch it now, let's hang on, let's fuck the podcast, let's go now and pitch it. I really, I really think that would suit you, I think you'd really enjoy it.
1:42 Speaker 01 I know, I hate having to complain, I really don't like having to complain.
1:47 Speaker 02 You don't have to complain, it's like, and I don't like complaining either, I get very, it doesn't suit me really, because obviously I don't like confrontation, but it's more so looking for bargains and then you're not complaining to like some woman in a shop, you're like going to Mark, you're going to some big brand saying, your tights are shit, what are you going to do about it?
2:05 Speaker 01 Well, I am, I'll tell you, okay, watch this space for the pod, not just because I'm pissed off, I'm going to bring these tights back and I am going to get, I'm going to say you have to swap these tights or else I will actually
2:16 Speaker 02 Do?
2:17 Speaker 01 Go berserk.
2:19 Speaker 02 Berserk, you can go berserk. By the way, Joe Lysit's had a baby, congratulations to Joe, he's had a little baby boy.
2:24 Speaker 01 I know, I know.
2:25 Speaker 02 I know. I'd like to add, I knew ahead of time. I knew about two weeks before the baby arrived, which makes me feel very close to Jo.
2:32 Speaker 01 Fair play to him. He pulls a Kylie Jenner. I didn't even know he was pregnant.
2:35 Speaker 02 He might have actually told me while she was on the way to the hospital to give birth. I don't know, it doesn't matter. We're close thick as ice. I knew, I knew before the public knew.
2:41 Speaker 01 I think if, if I ever get pregnant again, I'm not saying anything about it. I'm just gonna get pregnant and then I'll just be like, no, I don't know what you're talking about.
2:48 Speaker 02 How do you hide it though? Like Megan Fox is pregnant. Like how, do you just disappear from public? How on earth would you, of all, like we are, we have no boundaries. We're always online.
3:00 Speaker 01 What are you talking about?
3:01 Speaker 02 We're always showing ourselves.
3:03 Speaker 01 I'm extremely private.
3:06 Speaker 01 I don't want anyone knowing anything about me.
3:08 Speaker 02 We are incredibly discreet.
3:12 Speaker 02 That's what everyone says. Those girls. There's no one more discreet.
3:15 Speaker 01 You won't get a word out of those two.
3:16 Speaker 02 Not, not a single syllable. No one discreter than those two.
3:20 Speaker 01 No, no, absolutely not.
3:22 Speaker 02 Discretion personified. Yeah, there'd be no way. That's why, like, I don't know how Megan Fox did it.
3:29 Speaker 01 Why? Oh, sorry, hang on. Is she like giving birth or how far along is she?
3:33 Speaker 02 She's pretty far along. Like she's very visibly, I'd say she's like five months kind of buzz. Maybe more, six.
3:38 Speaker 01 I.
3:39 Speaker 02 She could be 12.
3:40 Speaker 01 Yeah, maybe she's like, an elephant has a very long period of pregnancy.
3:45 Speaker 02 Hmm. Well, there's a, it's a lot of elephant to grow now. Babies are kind of a smaller affair. Plus, I think when the other, when the elephant comes out, it's kind of ready to work kind of thing where it's babies or.
3:55 Speaker 01 They come out ready.
3:56 Speaker 02 They come out pathetically useless and very dependent. Yeah.
4:01 Speaker 01 Wingers. They're a pack of wingers. I wasn't like that when I was born. I actually was born and my mom said that I started walking straight away. She said, you just got out, you started talking, walking.
4:10 Speaker 02 Lunging, lunging, squatting.
4:12 Speaker 01 You're organising.
4:13 Speaker 02 Where did she get that? Where did the baby get the kettlebell? Jesus.
4:18 Speaker 01 I thought I felt something cold coming out.
4:20 Speaker 02 It's not cellulite. You're just a baby, Vogue. You're supposed to look like that.
4:28 Speaker 01 I'll tell you what I'm doing. Oh my God, guys, for both of you, actually, I have a challenge. Because everyone falls off the wagon in December. It happens. I'm preparing myself for the wagon fall off, but.
4:40 Speaker 02 Sorry, can I interrupt you there and say I don't even engage with the wagon the 11 other months of the year? So I have nothing to fall off, which in its own way is quite powerful.
4:52 Speaker 01 Joe, I don't, I don't.
4:53 Speaker 02 The wagon drives past here a couple of times a day and I'm like, not for me, thanks. I will not be boarding.
5:03 Speaker 01 Just hope we checked, Joanne. You're still, no, no, no, I'm still all good. Thank you.
5:06 Speaker 02 When people, when people fall off the wagon, I'm like, oh my God, it's so good to see you. Welcome back. Because I'm just never on it.
5:11 Speaker 01 I'll tell you what, I'm feeling a bit wobbly myself lately.
5:15 Speaker 02 Don't say that. I'll be in an Uber. I'll be fine at the end of your bed in seven minutes.
5:20 Speaker 01 Anyway, this is what I want you to do. We're doing a challenge and that's why I'm working out a little bit more because we're recording it now. It's 202020. So for the first, for the first 20 days of December, you're going to work out for 20 minutes a day. That's all you have to do. A 20 minute workout for 20 days in December. 2020.
5:37 Speaker 02 Every day.
5:39 Speaker 01 Joe, it's 20 minutes.
5:41 Speaker 02 Vogue, what sort of shit avian calendar are you trying to sell us here? It's the Christmas season.
5:45 Speaker 01 I'm letting you off. It's only until December 20th, right? After December 20th, do whatever you want with yourselves.
5:52 Speaker 02 I can't commit. I can't, I can't commit to that.
5:55 Speaker 01 That's actually embarrassing. That's embarrassing.
5:57 Speaker 02 I can't commit to that. I'm sorry. Oh, do you mean for me and Joe to do it?
5:59 Speaker 01 For everybody. I'm not recording it for myself. I'm recording it for everybody. It's 20 minutes. You're saying he can't do 20 minutes. He could do 20 minutes when you're drunk.
6:07 Speaker 02 Sure, of course I could do. I do, I worry about Joe's upper body strength. I've said that to you privately, but.
6:12 Speaker 01 He can use, just, he can use two, don't listen, Joe. He can use two kilos of calipso. He'll be fine.
6:18 Speaker 02 Just give him two packets, two packets of extra chewing gum just to lift above his body weight. So he thinks he's pressing.
6:23 Speaker 01 We'll get him peas, a tin of peas and pretend he's doing something.
6:27 Speaker 02 Me and Vogue will be on the 20 Kgs. I'm like, here, Joe, here's your two tuna cans. Press that.
6:34 Speaker 01 Do the tuna.
6:36 Speaker 02 Pathetic. No, I'm happy to do that. I.
6:40 Speaker 01 I'm happy to do that. What a smell of bollocks of you.
6:43 Speaker 02 I'm happy to do that.
6:48 Speaker 02 Oh, well, I see you've fallen off the swearing wagon. You're back to abusing me and Jo. Welcome home.
6:55 Speaker 01 I haven't. I haven't done it for so long that my mouth has just turned into a real toilet.
7:02 Speaker 02 Losting, yeah.
7:04 Speaker 01 Absolutely awful.
7:07 Speaker 02 For anyone, obviously, because it's an audible platform, she was also giving us the two fingers and she went really, she was quite aggressive, actually, there. I feel unsafe. Do we have a HR department, Jo? Because I'd like to see them. Do we? Shut up.
7:18 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah, I'll give you, I'll give you your details because I was just talking to her yesterday.
7:21 Speaker 02 I was gonna say, Jo's like, oh, I'm in regular contact with them.
7:27 Speaker 01 I say is. Sometimes I'm like, Jo, I'm really sorry.
7:29 Speaker 02 Three times a day, yeah, three times a day. Hey, Jo, thanks for calling on your scheduled time, again.
7:38 Speaker 01 I would say if I was working in an office, because I'm a natural rat, I love ratting on people. Like, I love it. I would just have like a little, I'd have a pass in there and everything. I'd just be in all the time. Did I tell you about the Delma over there? What she was doing, like, what she was doing with that photocopyer?
7:55 Speaker 02 You'd be watching the office from behind one of those glass windows where now we can see who's on the other side, just Vogue taking minutes and notes and just ratting people out.
8:02 Speaker 01 Honestly, it's pathetic. Like, I, if I'm ridiculous, I'm like, I'm telling my mom and her. I'm 39.
8:09 Speaker 02 If Vladimir Putin got a sniff of you, he'd have you recruited.
8:14 Speaker 01 100%. I'd do really well for him and the Kremlin.
8:20 Speaker 02 There'd be a nuclear war within two weeks. He'd be fucking passing everyone's egrets around.
8:24 Speaker 01 Do it, poo it, do it.
8:26 Speaker 02 Yo, Pewto, sit down. Have I got a story for you.
8:31 Speaker 02 I am more than willing to work out for 20 minutes a day. I live quite high up in an apartment block. Do the stairs, do the stairs. I think the stairs count for seven.
8:39 Speaker 01 Do the stairs. No, you'll do the workout that's prescribed. You could do the 20 minute workout.
8:45 Speaker 03 Do we have to check in with you to prove we've done it?
8:48 Speaker 02 Oh, hold on a second. You're going to oversee this and manage and control it? That's not like you, Vogue.
8:52 Speaker 01 Yes, yes, yes. I will check in with you both daily to see that you're doing your 20 minute workout.
8:58 Speaker 02 Jo, can you fit that in between the HR calls?
9:01 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah, probably during the HR call, I'll go, "Look what she's making me do."
9:06 Speaker 01 Squatting while complaining to HR. Do you know what is incredibly, what is incredibly surprising to me? Like, I'm gonna touch wood, but Joanne, we haven't gotten in trouble off Global. It's been years. How have we swung that? But why would they? Why would they? Oh, we kind of rack Joe's head in fairness, we do.
9:25 Speaker 02 Oh, sorry, sorry. You mean with the, in regards to Joe? Oh, sorry, sorry, I forgot.
9:31 Speaker 01 Shows how much they care about you, Joe. Do whatever you want, girls. We lash them at the weekends. Sometimes we hang him upside down and tickle his eyes, don't we, both? Just for fun. Tickle his eyes, yeah, he's got really tickly eyes. Tickly eyes, oh, coming in again, Joe. Open those sockets. I'll tell you what I once did, I'm not gonna name names because it wouldn't be fair. Oh, yeah. Did you ever get tickled when you're younger and someone like puts their knees, puts their knees on your, on your arms so you can't get up? Well, I tickled someone, I'm not saying you, so bad, and they were laughing, laughing, laughing. And started crying because they shot themselves. Yeah. Yeah, I know, it was bad.
10:13 Speaker 02 Like firstly, it doesn't surprise me that you pushed it that far. Because that's the dictator, the tyrant in you. And secondly, that poor victim. Now, I've known of people wetting themselves while getting tickled. I've never heard of someone soiling themselves.
10:30 Speaker 01 It was, and then I tell you what, I got off pretty quickly.
10:34 Speaker 02 I tell you, did you?
10:36 Speaker 01 See you later.
10:38 Speaker 02 You didn't see my private jet for smoke? I was out of there.
10:41 Speaker 01 That smells like a you problem, my friend.
10:48 Speaker 02 Oh. And Joe, was that the day you rang HR and they did that to you? Was that it? Is that the day you cracked when you shot yourself and you tickled?
10:55 Speaker 03 Yeah, I'd had quite enough at that stage.
10:58 Speaker 02 You're like a lion. A line has been crossed, a line.
11:02 Speaker 03 It was actually, that's actually torture. It's actually been medical torture. They've done it for hundreds of years.
11:07 Speaker 01 What, tickling people? They were more like pushing people into pits of daggers. They're not tickling you to torture you.
11:14 Speaker 02 Just this image of some poor bastard shitting themselves in vogue, just scooting off into the night, couldn't give a shit. She's like, not my problem.
11:22 Speaker 01 But it's kind of like, you know, when you were younger and you used to like hit your brother or sister, they start crying, you'd be like, oh no, oh no. I don't, I don't.
11:28 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
11:29 Speaker 01 You go cry. I once elbowed also because he used to sleep in my bed because he's much younger than me. So like, he'd be like three or something, he'd be waking me up in the middle of the night. I remember elbowing him once and he was, he started crying and his little nose was bleeding. I was like, oh my God, oh my God, what do I do?
11:44 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's that sibling thing of like, oh, I thought this was a bit of crack, but now you're bleeding from your, from your nose.
11:52 Speaker 02 This feels, suddenly feels quite serious, actually.
12:04 Speaker 01 Spenney did a job, he was doing a collab with Love Honey. So I know you love an old vibrator and there is, when I say bucket loads of vibrators.
12:15 Speaker 02 In the house?
12:16 Speaker 01 Yeah.
12:16 Speaker 02 Shut up.
12:17 Speaker 01 There's an advent calendar full of different ones.
12:21 Speaker 02 In yours?
12:21 Speaker 01 Yeah.
12:22 Speaker 02 Oh my God, oh my God, I'll go down with an XL Uber.
12:24 Speaker 01 Uh huh. And Jo, there's a, there's a wanking sleeve with your name on it.
12:29 Speaker 02 I'll take that as well. I'll take that, Jo, don't worry about that. I'll take that. I have no children, I'll just raise a lot of vibrators. Why not? This is what I was gonna say to you, remember I said the organised girls put all my, they were like, oh, and I, I obviously didn't want to ask, they didn't tell me where they put them, so, and I didn't want to text them, be like, hey.
12:48 Speaker 01 Hey, I'm just looking for something.
12:50 Speaker 02 It's Friday night, I have nothing on, I was just wondering if you could drop a pin as to where you put those bits and bobs.
13:01 Speaker 02 Fucking tore the place apart, found them in the end, of course.
13:04 Speaker 01 Oh god.
13:06 Speaker 02 Oh god.
13:06 Speaker 01 Well, I've got a whole batch for you here.
13:10 Speaker 01 Hey, Vogue, Joanne and Jo, love the pod, I need your advice. I've been going out with my boyfriend for two years now and everything is great. He's a great guy, he really cares about me and all my family are mad about him. The only thing is, he has this friend. I've never met her. Hmm, I know. I should have went to a different county.
13:31 Speaker 01 And they met when they were in college. My boyfriend used to talk very fondly about her and had her name on her phone with a heart beside it.
13:41 Speaker 02 Ah, yes, okay.
13:43 Speaker 01 Disgusting behaviour.
13:44 Speaker 02 Read on, read on.
13:47 Speaker 01 After asking about this, he said they never went out and that he has no feelings for her and that I don't need to be worried. He changed her name on his phone, however, every day she's on to him, sending him texts or sending stuff on Instagram. This hasn't been an issue before, only the last few months. I mean, this is happening at all hours of the day. Anytime a message just pops up on his phone, it's her and it's driving me insane. She knows he has a girlfriend. He's defending her and says he doesn't, she doesn't reply all the time. She seems to tell him everything. It seems like there is three of us in this relationship. He asked me before, do I want him to stop talking to her, that he wouldn't mind? And I'm not that type of person to tell someone they should talk to this person or not. Should I be worried about this or he's asking him?
14:29 Speaker 02 Yes, that's a shitty.
14:30 Speaker 01 I don't agree, I have to say, I don't agree.
14:33 Speaker 02 Oh, come. To use the old angling pagan term, when you know, you know.
14:40 Speaker 01 I think it could just be a little jealousy thing. I honestly, like, I wouldn't.
14:44 Speaker 02 There's a reason for it. It's your body spasming, it's like stepping up, down. My resources are being threatened here, because it's our cave brain. When you know, you fucking know. I, when you know, you know.
14:55 Speaker 01 No, I think sometimes that you can let your imagination run away with it. Run away with you. And I just think that, like, sometimes people, like, you can just be friends. Like, I genuinely don't think that there's anything to be concerned about. Like, I really don't.
15:10 Speaker 02 Maybe there isn't. Maybe it's just where I am in my personal life.
15:13 Speaker 01 Well, maybe there isn't, and maybe there is.
15:16 Speaker 02 I'm always, my, my, my responses are always a little skewed with whatever's going on in my own life at the time. You could talk to me next week and I'm like, don't be ridiculous. But I just feel like those friendships can be, yes, some of them are perfectly pure and there's nothing in them. But a lot of them, there's a little something going on behind closed doors for, what are they go there? And if it's at the point, and that's fine, that's human nature. You can't own people's wank bank, you know what I mean? You can't, you can't brainwash people. You can't lobotomize your partner. They're a lot, they will think about other people and want to ride with people, blah, blah, blah. But if it's getting to the point where you're like, this is shitcrack for me now, like that's, then it, then it's shitcrack for you. And then that's worth saying.
15:53 Speaker 01 I think it's kind of shady of her to be constantly texting and stuff like that because I just wouldn't. I was actually just writing about something there and I was, uh, I wouldn't be friends with any of my exes because I genuinely don't think it's fair on their new partners. Like it's not fair to want to be such a massive part of their life when you used to go out with them because it makes that other person feel uncomfortable. So I always kind of just step back.
16:13 Speaker 02 What I think is interesting is, and this is, I've noticed it recently, you, and which is fair and right, take the position of a woman who was married to a man. Okay.
16:23 Speaker 01 Agree with you.
16:23 Speaker 02 Yes. And I usually take the position, and again, which is fair and right, as of a single woman with no husband. So when situations like this arise, you're thinking of like your, your partner and your husband, blah, blah. Whereas I'm thinking of, I don't know, I don't know. I just feel like it's on him. It's always on that person. You can't expect, this girl cannot police this random woman as her partner's friend about how much contact she, that man is allowing that much contact to happen. But it's fucking on him.
16:51 Speaker 01 Kind of, I kind of actually agree with your point there as well.
16:53 Speaker 02 Yeah.
16:54 Speaker 01 I think that if it's making her feel uncomfortable, she should, he should make sure that, that there isn't that much contact.
16:59 Speaker 02 Or reassure her or explain it more or like, like kind of involve her. This is what I always think. If you're such a good friend, like I had a situation before with a guy who was like besties with a girl. And I was like, then involve me. Now it turned out he was actually riding her, but.
17:16 Speaker 02 Of course he was.
17:18 Speaker 01 Involve me. Why can't I be in the threesome?
17:20 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can just serve orange segments in half time if you.
17:26 Speaker 02 I'd just like to be involved, guys.
17:27 Speaker 01 Don't worry.
17:28 Speaker 02 I'm not gonna get in the way.
17:29 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:30 Speaker 02 I just wanna, I just wanna, just be involved, you know, just be invited, you know. I could do the coats.
17:36 Speaker 02 I could ticket the event, maybe, if you wanna bring any more of your female friends around. No, he was riding her, but, but, but I didn't know it at the time, but I remember being at the time being like, "Okay, I feel strange about this. Why doesn't he involve me if it's so..." I think that's kind of the way around it. Like, I have male friends who have female partners, and I have continued to stay friends with the men, but I've also become friends with their partners.
17:56 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, you do have to be.
17:58 Speaker 02 Do you know what I mean? It's the sound thing to do. I think it's the kind thing to do.
18:01 Speaker 01 It's the respectful thing to do as well, for all parties.
18:04 Speaker 02 For all parties, yeah. Unless you think their partner's a bit of a wanker, and then that's shit. But I, I still think you should try and make the average.
18:11 Speaker 01 Let's all ride each other, okay? And that's just that. From professional, professional advice givers, Joanna Vog.
18:19 Speaker 01 Don't listen to a fucking word we say.
18:22 Speaker 02 Bring a fella to our clinic for a lobotomy, and then they'll only think about you. How about that, folk? That's a new business idea, isn't it?
18:28 Speaker 01 Mmm, that's very nice, yes.
18:30 Speaker 03 You could hang them upside down and tickle their eyes.
18:32 Speaker 02 That's for you, Jo. That's just for you. That's special treatment for you. We're not gonna do that to anyone else, Jo. That's for you.
18:38 Speaker 01 If they've been a real dickhead, I'll tell you what, I'll break out the tickling again and I'll make sure that they also soil themselves and then they'll feel really bad.
18:48 Speaker 01 Mortified.
18:49 Speaker 02 Jo, imagine how hurt you would be if you came in and saw me and Vogue hanging some other lad upside down, tickling his eyes. You'd be devastated, okay? So don't play around with that.
18:57 Speaker 03 It wouldn't feel as special.
18:59 Speaker 02 But I, I, it wouldn't feel as special. But I do think, back to our email, that it is always a kind of a tricky one when we're all kind of territorial and stuff, and, you know, maybe there's nothing in it, maybe there is something, you'll never know. And if you, you feel like if you say it, you're being paranoid, and you're kind of being difficult. And if you don't say it, it's all kind of building up in you, and you feel tense and sick, and...
19:20 Speaker 01 I'm not necessarily sure that there's anything going on. I don't think there is.
19:23 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah. Look, I don't know if there is or not, but I just think if you're, if something is going on in your relationship that makes you feel like shit, it's not just on you. There's other people involved in that situation that, you know, it's not, it's not all on you. And he should, he should help try and make you not feel like shit about it, ultimately. Hmm. Before he rides her. Ah, Joanne, no.
19:44 Speaker 01 Thank you, everybody, for listening.
19:48 Speaker 01 We will see you again on Friday for the main episode. And please keep sending your emails. We love them.
Previous Flashers, Martha Stewart & Just "O" Next Treating Myself Page updated November 6, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated