Pod Insights My Therapist Ghosted Me MTGM EXTRA! "I'm not even convinced he knows my name..." About this episode Have you ever heard of the Irish Farmer Calendar? This week, Vogue is making sure you have. Plus, Joanne is getting properly organised and a listener has fallen hard.
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This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.
Transcript 0:01 Speaker 00 This is a Global Player original podcast.
0:10 Speaker 01 Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Bug Williams and
0:15 Speaker 02 Joanne McNally.
0:20 Speaker 01 The light in your apartment is gorgeous.
0:22 Speaker 02 Oh, stop, I know. I don't know how, like, remember my whole chat about moving north or east or wherever Camden is?
0:29 Speaker 01 Joanne McNally, I haven't actually heard it. Now, this is the first time I've heard it.
0:34 Speaker 02 Haven't I? Haven't I done?
0:36 Speaker 01 What a lot. She's obviously, she saw something she liked in Camden and then moved herself there. That's what happened.
0:41 Speaker 02 Yeah, single lads. That's what I saw. I thought we spoke about this. I told you, I went to a pub in Camden and it was wall to wall. It was like a cock fest. And I was like, I'm not a lovable. I just live in Clapham. I'm not going to meet some lad in fucking Megan's. Anyway, whatever. I don't mean to talk about my relationship status again. But anyway, I was, when I was thinking of packing up and moving again, where, Jo, where, Jo, where is Camden?
1:05 Speaker 01 North.
1:06 Speaker 02 North.
1:08 Speaker 01 I just thought it was always north. No?
1:10 Speaker 02 It's just Camden. Just does its own thing.
1:13 Speaker 03 Well, if you're north of Camden, then no, it's south.
1:15 Speaker 01 Oh, listen, I don't care about any of that kind of jazz.
1:18 Speaker 02 Jo, we don't care about the details. Do you know what I mean?
1:20 Speaker 01 Hmm. I don't know where I am.
1:22 Speaker 02 We just let London do its thing.
1:24 Speaker 01 Sure. When I did House of Games, I had to try and, I was like, oh, I'm not getting the answers right because it's England. Like, I don't live, like, I'm a blow-in, you know what I mean? And then they were like, there was a question about Ireland. Where is Shannon Airport?
1:35 Speaker 02 Shit.
1:35 Speaker 01 I put it up in Belfast. Whoopsie daisy.
1:40 Speaker 02 Yeah, you're like, this is a racist hate crime. I'd like to go to my own country. Can't answer that either. Whoopsie doodles.
1:45 Speaker 01 Geography is not my strong point. I've always said it. Geography and the size of things.
1:51 Speaker 02 Well, when I was thinking about packing up my flat life and moving north east somewhere else, just for a change of, change of pace, change of life, it's buzzer, I thought, how will I leave this flat? The light in it. We did a whole shoot in this flat that we were due to do in a studio. The photographers, like, the light's so good. It's because it's a corner flat. It's just a shame there's some issues in the building, which we won't get into here for legal reasons.
2:19 Speaker 01 Yeah, absolutely. I am still in my apartment. Actually, look, I do, I love this apartment. I love where I live. I love the area, but I just, I can't wait to have a garden with the kids, you know?
2:30 Speaker 02 You have a, you have a, um, a terrace?
2:33 Speaker 01 I know, but it's not really the same because in Ireland I have quite a small garden, but the kids are out in it non-stop because it's a garden. They're just always out there. And that's what I would, I would enjoy for my own children. There was a thing that I thought you'd find interesting about Ireland. So I know that we're not getting each other Christmas presents this year, myself and you, John. I don't know if you need that.
2:54 Speaker 02 No, no, no. Sorry, folk. Sorry. Sorry, sorry. Everyone's getting Christmas presents this year. I've hired a public, not a public assistant, oh my god. A personal assistant.
3:04 Speaker 01 Did you? Well, now, I'll be honest with you, right? You wouldn't be great at giving the old gift. So I just decided, I took it upon myself this year. I thought, you know what? I'm not buying her anything because she never buys me anything. You didn't get me anything for my birthday, just saying.
3:17 Speaker 02 It's in the room.
3:20 Speaker 01 Okay, where's my birthday present?
3:21 Speaker 02 Do you want to see what it is?
3:22 Speaker 01 Okay, yeah, I do. I want to see my birthday present. Fine.
3:25 Speaker 02 Wow, wow, wow.
3:26 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
3:27 Speaker 02 You little greedy bitch. This is your present. I've been waiting to get it framed. Ask this as an audio. Ask this as audio.
3:38 Speaker 01 Oh my god, and you're paying for framing?
3:40 Speaker 02 I mean, I'm not thrilled about that, but I will pay for framing.
3:43 Speaker 01 What is this?
3:45 Speaker 02 Because you are like family to me, you little bitch.
3:52 Speaker 02 It's a, it's a, it's a painting that I bought in this kind of wacky shop, like antique shop kind of thing in Chelsea that I go into sometimes. It's where I got that big, some, some people will have seen, I post videos from my bathroom sometimes. I have this big, like, it looks like an urn, but it's a huge kind of, well, urn.
4:14 Speaker 01 It's your future, it's your future burial ground.
4:17 Speaker 02 Yes, yes, I'm waiting to just crawl into it one day. I got this here, it's a photo of a woman who gets on a plane and they're saying, you have to turn right. And, and she's drinking glasses of champagne and everyone on the left is drinking champagne. And it says, she doesn't turn right on planes because it's about you being so rich. And it's a joke about economy and first class. There you go. And how much it was folk? I'll tell you, it was 70 pounds. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you need to know, you need to know.
4:48 Speaker 01 Fine, well, the last gift I got you was a ring that was very expensive. And do you know what? Why do I always have to be the unrelatable one?
4:54 Speaker 02 Well, actually, that's why I didn't give it to you in the end because I thought that actually suits me more now.
5:02 Speaker 01 Well, will I tell you what I'm getting you?
5:04 Speaker 02 I'm only joking, we're not that spoilt. I will give it to you, of course I will. I think it, I think it's really cool and fun. Do you see it? Joe, can you see that there?
5:11 Speaker 01 It's very cool and fun.
5:13 Speaker 03 I love it.
5:14 Speaker 02 Yeah.
5:14 Speaker 01 That framer must, oh wait, show again.
5:16 Speaker 02 Happy birthday, happy birthday folk.
5:18 Speaker 01 That's very cute.
5:20 Speaker 02 Yeah.
5:20 Speaker 01 I do like that. And tell me, that framer must be thrilled that you're keeping him in business.
5:25 Speaker 02 It's by Oliver Preston.
5:28 Speaker 01 Well done, Oliver.
5:29 Speaker 02 He draws for the Field magazine and he's been published in a load of places. There you go.
5:34 Speaker 01 Well, the thing that I am getting you for Christmas this year, you're welcome, thank you very much, is there is a new calendar out, it's called the Irish Farmer Calendar.
5:46 Speaker 02 Oh yes, I'm aware of its existence.
5:49 Speaker 01 Don't you worry, there's a man with a llama, there's another man with a, look at him with the chicken, he's lying in the hay with a chicken, there's a man doing a handstand by a horse licking a fence.
6:01 Speaker 02 Is the chicken guy gonna put it in a salad, or is it just coming as a, as a live chicken?
6:05 Speaker 01 The chicken comes live, I'm sure he'd wring the neck if you asked him. And there's a llama on a lead, a leaded llama and a duck playing pitch and putts. Ducks love, ducks love crazy golf, did you know that?
6:16 Speaker 02 Thanks so much.
6:17 Speaker 01 How did you learn that today? Ducks love crazy golf.
6:19 Speaker 02 I knew they were sporty, but I didn't know what sport they were into, but that's good to know. I knew they were athletic, ducks.
6:25 Speaker 01 I remember there was this boy in my class, his name was Sean, when I was in primary school, and I'll never forget when we were doing like a visit to the farm, because like we were little, little, and this duck ran after him and bit him, and I, it was so brilliant, we were all so happy about it, like Sean wasn't happy, but the whole class was absolutely thrilled watching what had happened to Sean.
6:47 Speaker 02 What is it, what is it we're always slagging Vogue about being, is it masochist? Joe?
6:53 Speaker 01 A barking hunter.
6:54 Speaker 03 When you enjoy other people's unfortunate accidents and downfalls, isn't it?
6:59 Speaker 02 Yeah, she's like.
7:01 Speaker 01 I certainly do not.
7:03 Speaker 02 Shouting for it, Harry.
7:04 Speaker 01 No, Sean wasn't that nice to me, so if he got bitten by a duck, that duck knew what was up. Will we, will we go on to listen to emails?
7:15 Speaker 02 I'd love that.
7:17 Speaker 01 Me too, I, we love your emails, by the way, so congratulations for being so brilliant at doing emails, well done.
7:24 Speaker 02 You should teach kids, you know that.
7:27 Speaker 01 No way, sorry, do you know what, because of the dancing, right, because I'm doing the dancing, I literally said to your man, Carlos, my dance teacher, I was like, this is my idea of hell, having to teach somebody something I'm really good at and they're so shit at.
7:42 Speaker 02 Yeah.
7:43 Speaker 01 I was like, I couldn't, like even tennis teachers, I'm like, how can he put up with it?
7:47 Speaker 02 Do you remember, do you remember you were very clear that you were like, you said to me, to my face, I'll never play tennis with you because you're so shit, and I would find it really frustrating.
8:00 Speaker 01 I didn't say it in those exact words, but like, I'll be honest with you, John, I can't imagine you're brilliant at tennis. Like, you're not good, you're like, you're, you're, okay, I'd like to be proven wrong.
8:12 Speaker 02 Sorry Serena, it's, it's about spending time together.
8:16 Speaker 01 Oh, that's fine then.
8:17 Speaker 02 Team building and friendship and family and special occasions and sports.
8:22 Speaker 01 Do you know what, I was thinking of getting T a private lesson on a Sunday morning. If you would like to join him, that's totally cool. And I'll come along and then we can get coffee after and I'll watch both of you.
8:31 Speaker 02 Wow, wow. You're gonna throw me in the ball pit in Purple Dragon after? See if I can swim?
8:39 Speaker 01 No, you're barred from there. They said, we love having you here, but just don't bring her back, okay? She's not, she's not welcome.
8:47 Speaker 02 She pissed in the ball pit, like, we just can't have it, just can't have it.
8:50 Speaker 01 The pool was one thing, but when she started going for the ball pit and the soft play, no.
8:55 Speaker 02 Just to clear the kids out, they were racking my head.
8:57 Speaker 01 And when we were doing cooking class, she just started making cocktails. Like, it's not for that.
9:01 Speaker 02 Do they cook in, um, Purple Dragon? Anyway, I'm not, this isn't an ad for Purple Dragon. Continue with the emails. I'm sick of talking about them, to be honest. Cut all that out.
9:10 Speaker 01 Do you know what? She's not even a member and she doesn't stop bringing them up.
9:13 Speaker 02 A member? Do you have to be a member of Purple Dragon? You know I love a membership.
9:19 Speaker 01 We've organised, we finally organised, I nearly threw a stop yesterday, by the way, because it was Tuesday when we were talking and I get really angry on Tuesdays because they're the least, they're not a good day of the week. And we have organised an outing to go for lunch. Well, I have and I like, I put everyone together in a group and like, I made sure everyone's diary is aligned and I booked the restaurant and then Imo gets on and she's like, oh, I can't do the fourth. And I was like,
9:43 Speaker 02 It's our ghosted Christmas party. I have a P A now, so I will be there.
9:48 Speaker 01 Tell us, sorry, hang on, tell me about the P A. How many days a week?
9:52 Speaker 02 It'll be a part-time thing, just to help me with bits and bobs that I struggle with, like, just daily activities, really. Like organising things, like travel and stuff, because if it's not for work, travel, obviously, you know, I don't know, I don't know, I've never had one. I just, I've just decided it's time.
10:08 Speaker 01 I'm gonna start giving you my post. Because as I said, it's the only job I don't like doing. I just don't like going to the post office.
10:13 Speaker 02 I think she'll do my emails and she'll book flights and stuff and organisation.
10:20 Speaker 01 Organisation is key, yes. See, I love doing stuff like that because I'm like, we're just built differently. Like, I enjoy, like, getting the food shop done and, like, I enjoy making sure we have. I just like doing it.
10:32 Speaker 02 Yeah, whereas if I have three things to do, I'll literally have a mental breakdown and just sit inside staring at the wall because I get completely overwhelmed by really basic shit. It's, it's very strange. It's very strange. Anyway, I've just decided to try and address it in a way that doesn't involve me addressing it personally.
10:51 Speaker 01 It's the best way to do it, honestly.
10:53 Speaker 02 Yeah, and it's like, I can't keep drinking CBD oil. I'll never wake up again, so.
10:58 Speaker 01 Delegate.
10:59 Speaker 02 Exactly. It's a delegation thing. Yeah, yeah. So, like I said, I will be there. And I'll probably have presents, whatever, whatever she does. I don't know.
11:08 Speaker 01 Ah, come on. Can we just do a deal with each other? I don't, let's not get each other a present. I have a list as long as my arm for presents for people, right? Jo, why are you nodding? We're gonna get you a present. Just don't get me one, please. Thank you.
11:20 Speaker 02 Jo, I'm happy to receive.
11:24 Speaker 02 We can talk. We can work it out. I'm happy to receive. Just give me my present back.
11:27 Speaker 01 Jo, I revoluted you. Are you not on Revolut?
11:30 Speaker 02 You revoluted him his Christmas present.
11:32 Speaker 01 I asked everybody what they'd like for Christmas and there are normal people who want whatever they want and it's a good time to give.
11:38 Speaker 02 Cash. Yeah. I'd love cash. I don't have Revolut and when I get those texts, I worry that it's a scam. I meant to say that to you. Is that a scam?
11:45 Speaker 01 Oh, God, send me your bank details. You're so annoying.
11:48 Speaker 02 She's a sex-tortionist, Jo.
12:00 Speaker 01 I just want to say, I had, my jewellery club came out with Crystals and Co. And Joanne, yours is on the way. I got it delivered to my house because obviously that's where, where all your mail gets delivered. And you know what? I don't mind anymore because it's not like boxes and boxes.
12:13 Speaker 02 Yeah, I've fallen out of favour, so there's nothing really coming anymore.
12:18 Speaker 01 It's very minimal now. There's the odd letter. There's still a couple of uniseps coming in for you. Well, I'm giving you a code for my jewellery of Crystals and Co and it's Vogue 25. 25% off. Oh my god, that's...
12:31 Speaker 02 I've never heard you say Vogue 25. I've only ever heard you say swipe up swipe up 2020.
12:36 Speaker 01 Nah, 25. I mean, I'm gonna follow up on that because that's the code I was given to give to my friends as well. I didn't know we were giving it to everyone, but there you go, Vogue 25.
12:44 Speaker 02 Well, I look forward to receiving your cash Christmas gift and your jewellery.
12:49 Speaker 01 Okay, fine. Yeah, I'll give you cash. You're getting a fiver and a card. That's what you're getting.
12:52 Speaker 02 Vogue, send me a hundred quid. I'll send it back. We'll call it quits. Happy, happy, no luck, no luck.
12:56 Speaker 01 That's actually a really good idea because then it feels like we've done something.
12:59 Speaker 02 It's been marked. Exactly. And Jo, you can send yours back as well if you so wish, if that's what you'd like to do. If you feel it's appropriate.
13:09 Speaker 01 Well, he doesn't have Revolut, so like now we have to go back to the dark ages and go on to people's bank accounts.
13:14 Speaker 02 You're getting a couple of scratch cards and a condom because we can't afford you to take any more batteries you leave. We need you.
13:20 Speaker 03 Oh yeah, on that, I will be away for a bit in March.
13:24 Speaker 01 Of course, you bloody...
13:25 Speaker 02 Is this you telling, is this you, is this you announcing that you're pregnant?
13:28 Speaker 01 Oh, Jo's having another baby. Well, Josie is, but Jo is too, kind of.
13:35 Speaker 02 Kind of. This is what men do now.
13:37 Speaker 03 The very last one.
13:38 Speaker 01 There's a good time, there's a good time difference between them. You can't just be having loads of kids, you know?
13:45 Speaker 02 You can't just be having kids willy nilly, you know?
13:47 Speaker 01 Well, I will say they were saying it was bad for the environment. Now it's not bad for the environment. You just honestly, you can't keep up. That's why Elon Musk has so much kids because he said that like he's trying to repopulate the world. Children are basically microplastics, but huge.
14:08 Speaker 01 We'll miss your laugh, Jo. How long are you taking off this time?
14:12 Speaker 03 I'll be gone for four weeks, maybe five.
14:16 Speaker 01 What? What planet are we living on here? Vogue had a baby herself physically and was back within seven days.
14:23 Speaker 03 Well, let's negotiate.
14:25 Speaker 02 Wow. Manspaining birth to us. Fantastic.
14:29 Speaker 01 What an absolute, that's disgusting behaviour. Okay, email, email. We need an email. Hi, John and Vogue. I need urgent help. Please keep me anon. So in chores, I'm a nurse and I fell for one of the doctors doing a rotation in my hospital.
14:44 Speaker 02 Ooh, rotation.
14:45 Speaker 01 Mm hmm, that sounds sexual.
14:47 Speaker 02 It doesn't, it's spinning around.
14:51 Speaker 01 Ooh, after many failed dating app experiences, I have somehow convinced myself he's the one. I found out he lives very close to me and my delusional brain has taken this to be a sign. Also notice, there's no ring on his finger.
15:04 Speaker 02 Oh.
15:05 Speaker 01 Well, maybe because he's a doctor, he doesn't want it to fall off during surgery and end up in someone's stomach, you know?
15:10 Speaker 02 Yeah, fair.
15:11 Speaker 01 Hmm. And he finished up his rotation and has gone from the hospital forever. I'm horrified.
15:19 Speaker 01 I spoke to this man all of about 10 times and I'm not even convinced he knows my name. I'm head over heels for him, but I don't even know if he's single despite trying to find out. And also, he's at least eight years older than me.
15:32 Speaker 02 That's nothing.
15:33 Speaker 01 Mid twenties and he's early thirties, yeah, Grant. I'm so conflicted on what to do. People tell me to reach out to him to ask him out, but part of me couldn't handle the embarrassment of the potential outcomes. He's married with kids, he has a partner, he finds the whole thing pathetic, he thinks I'm too young, he doesn't even remember me, he's become a laughing stock. Ah, no, I would. Now, it's easier for, it's easy for me to say that because I'm not the one who's having to ask him out. But honestly, would you, like, if you're so mad about him, you've got to do something and ask him. And if he, like, it's a compliment, he'll take it as a compliment no matter what happens.
16:04 Speaker 02 I can tell you now, he doesn't think you're too young. There is no such thing with lads. So you can strike that one right off.
16:13 Speaker 01 Yeah.
16:14 Speaker 02 That is not a concern. Even Joe is nodding enthusiastically there.
16:18 Speaker 01 Yeah.
16:19 Speaker 02 Yeah. You're probably bang on the button, to be honest.
16:23 Speaker 01 Yeah.
16:23 Speaker 02 You might be a bit too old for him, actually.
16:27 Speaker 02 But do you know what? So this is, I've, I've, I fall into two. Pockets on this. There's this whole like, if he wants to, he would thing. Like if a lad wants you, he knows where you are and he's coming for you. Like, we've all been on the receiving end of a man who's very determined to seduce. And they, they are like a dog with a bone. Like, you kind of know when a lad's into you.
16:45 Speaker 01 That's what happened with Spenny. I don't think we would have been married if he hadn't just been so insistent on it, you know?
16:50 Speaker 02 Exactly. Sometimes they're, you just, they just come in hard. They seem really convinced about it and you're on the receiving end of a pretty hardcore seduction. And of course, we all fall for that. But also, and also I would say the fact that he, he's met you 10 times. And you're like, I'm not sure he knows who I am. That's not a great sign, to be honest, if I'm being honest now.
17:10 Speaker 01 Maybe she thinks that and she might be being shy or he might be being shy.
17:12 Speaker 02 Yeah, maybe. But I, I think when you know someone fancies you, you know. But what I would say is, it doesn't matter if he hasn't really registered you up to this point. He's not dead. Do you know what I mean?
17:23 Speaker 01 I say go for it. Go for Christmas drinks.
17:26 Speaker 02 I would. Yeah. I'd find him. Do you know what I would do? Do you know what I would, do you know what I would genuinely do? I would try and find some sort of digital footprint of him, like where he survives online, like Insta, Facebook, whatever. And I would start engaging gently there. I wouldn't send him, I wouldn't send him a hardcore, do you wanna go for drinks text? I would, I would butter him up a little bit. I would tickle his balls.
17:51 Speaker 01 I'd go straight in. I'd literally be like, hey, I miss you at the hospital. Would you like to go for a drink? And do you wanna ride the ferry stuff with each other? I would, straight in. What's the point? You don't be friends with him and then he's like, oh, by the way, I have a wife. Can't really be talking to you. Like our last listener email. I just think that you should just go in and if he says no, then you know that it's not a goer.
18:12 Speaker 02 I could not disagree more. Find him online, tickle his balls, set up the scene, be a reply guy. Ha ha lol, ha ha lol. Fire, fire to everything he posts. Let him come to you. You'll be married by 2028.
18:28 Speaker 02 Divorced by 2032. Good luck to you.
18:31 Speaker 01 Three year marriage is perfect. That was my first one. Perfect. First marriage always three years long.
18:35 Speaker 02 The slow seduction. Show interest.
18:38 Speaker 01 She doesn't know. I just, I just, she doesn't know him and she's just either gonna like, she's not friends with him. She's either gonna do it or she's not gonna do it. I just think there's no harm in just asking him out for a drink, being straight out and then being like, bye.
18:51 Speaker 02 As someone who has been married 17 times, it's fair to say you have no idea how to date slowly.
18:56 Speaker 01 Listen, if you wanna get married, listen to me. I'm always bloody married.
19:01 Speaker 02 There's a lot to be said for the slow seduction, the slow build. I'm building thousands of men as we speak. Thousands of them.
19:09 Speaker 01 They just, they don't know about it yet.
19:11 Speaker 02 My daughter, Bill, is through the roof. Yeah, just planting seeds, just planting seeds. Ha ha lol. Ha ha lol. Reply guy.
19:19 Speaker 01 Fire, fire, fire. Laughy emoji.
19:22 Speaker 02 Slow and steady.
19:23 Speaker 01 Oh, she's doing a emoji on, on Obrigen.
19:26 Speaker 02 Do you know what it's about? If you do ask him and it doesn't, and he doesn't, he's like, no, I'm not into it. Who fucking cares? Move on. That's my new attitude.
19:36 Speaker 01 That's what Joanne says. Who fucking cares?
19:39 Speaker 02 As in, I don't, I don't mean that to sound harsh on her. I mean, we can't, don't take it personally. You don't know what's going on in anyone's lives.
19:46 Speaker 01 Joanne, I don't fucking care.
19:54 Speaker 01 Thank you everyone so much for fucking listening.
19:58 Speaker 02 Oh God, Theodore's obviously out, is he?
20:02 Speaker 01 He's in school.
20:03 Speaker 02 The jar has not been wangled in your face.
20:05 Speaker 01 He got Joanne the other day. Joanne, swear jar.
20:08 Speaker 02 Yeah, swear jar. And then he called me a [BLEEP].
20:15 Speaker 01 Thank you everyone for listening. We'll see you next week.
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