MTGM EXTRA! "I won't feel that excitement again in this lifetime."

This week, it's time for Vogue & Joanne to do some Googling about periods and what's ACTUALLY going on every month. Do we all actually know enough?! Plus, a listener who thought she'd made a connection online, which turned out to be something different. If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] Please review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/ For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com For more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.com This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.

• 0:02Speaker 00

  This is a Global Player original podcast.

• 0:10Speaker 01

  Welcome to My Therapist Goes To Me. Do we need to kind of freshen up our intros?

• 0:16Speaker 02

  It's that time of year, Jo, don't worry.

• 0:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's like clockwork, isn't it?

• 0:20Speaker 01

  Is it?

• 0:21Speaker 03

  Mid February.

• 0:23Speaker 01

  I think we need to freshen up our intros.

• 0:24Speaker 03

  Try something different. Just throw us something.

• 0:27Speaker 02

  Go, go, do it.

• 0:28Speaker 01

  Like improv?

• 0:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, vibe it.

• 0:29Speaker 02

  All right.

• 0:32Speaker 01

  Um, I, mm, mm. No, let's stick with what we have. I think it works. Yeah. Welcome to My Therapist Goes To Me with me, Joanne McNally, and my work wife.

• 0:47Speaker 02

  Vogue Williams.

• 0:48Speaker 01

  Vogue Williams.

• 0:49Speaker 02

  I thought of the perfect gift for you.

• 0:53Speaker 01

  Oh, thrilled. I love gifts. Go on.

• 0:56Speaker 02

  It's also the perfect one for me to give you as well because it's not that expensive.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  Is this like when Homer bought Marge a bowling ball with his name on it?

• 1:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, I've just bought those runners in my own size. Oh, they don't fit you. I'll keep them. Don't worry. I'll do something with them.

• 1:14Speaker 01

  That's what the vibe, that feels like this is the vibe. Hold on, sorry, I just fixed my, um.

• 1:18Speaker 02

  Look at Jo, nail hoover in that bag. What time is it? Is that your first meal of the day or something? Never seen someone hungrier.

• 1:25Speaker 03

  Honestly, I'm sorry. I'm just hanging out of my arse, so.

• 1:28Speaker 02

  Oh, you're hungover?

• 1:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:30Speaker 02

  Oh, Stella, please. My favourite.

• 1:35Speaker 03

  I did my last going out on the piss before Jo has this baby.

• 1:41Speaker 02

  This baby. Oh, Jo's just having the baby. You're even no involvement for you now.

• 1:44Speaker 03

  No, we will have a baby, but ultimately she has to do the having of it.

• 1:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, she's doing the heavy lifting and the heavy pushing.

• 1:51Speaker 02

  Guys, that girl has got, like, she has got gas and air waiting for her. I'm jealous personally.

• 1:59Speaker 01

  It's the only reason I want to have a kid.

• 2:01Speaker 02

  Oh, it's fantastic.

• 2:02Speaker 01

  Pump that shit into me.

• 2:03Speaker 03

  It is great.

• 2:04Speaker 02

  The baby will come out, Joanne will, the baby will come out and Joanne will be like, no, I'm still, I still need it.

• 2:10Speaker 01

  I might pop in, Jo, would I pop in to?

• 2:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'll text you, I'll let you know when it's all go time and you can.

• 2:15Speaker 01

  Will you? Yeah, I might pop, I'd be meaning to pop in actually to the birth baby hospital for a while. Just trying to check it out, see what's going on there and sure, I might as well have a plug on that pipe thing while I'm there.

• 2:28Speaker 02

  Very indoor. Jo, I'd be careful because when I was having Otto, she was scratching at the door. It was really got frightening towards the end.

• 2:35Speaker 01

  I was like, Vogue, you don't even need it anymore. You're fucking, you're a huge vagina. Give it to me. She's already out. Which one is that?

• 2:46Speaker 01

  Why are women complaining about giving birth? They have all the resources in the world, they just.

• 2:52Speaker 01

  And you know what else, rip hope and you fuck.

• 2:54Speaker 02

  And then you get free toast after.

• 2:56Speaker 01

  Toast after. Why are they always banging on about it?

• 3:00Speaker 02

  Fucking wingers.

• 3:02Speaker 01

  Get over it.

• 3:03Speaker 02

  Everyone's, do you know what? Everyone gets annoyed when you say that. And I always say, I'm like, I love giving birth, but like, the reason I love giving birth is because I feel so sick. And by the time I get, the sickness ends when I give birth. So I'm like, I like, that day to me is like. Pleasure. Cause I'm like, yes.

• 3:22Speaker 01

  I do see, I see heavily pregnant women around in the world, basically, and they, and they do looks, it, it looks very uncomfortable. I would, I honestly think, like Vogue's very, she's a real bounce backer. She's a real baby bounce backer.

• 3:36Speaker 02

  Well, because I'm so sick, don't, like, I don't, I don't put on loads and loads of weight because I'm really sick, no matter what I do.

• 3:43Speaker 01

  You're also squatting and all that jazz. But I mean, look, I respect it. It's great. But I feel like I would be very much a let herself goer. I feel like I'd be a take into the bed, big dramas, everyone involved. I'd move my mum in, all that jazz.

• 3:59Speaker 02

  The only thing is, you've only, and I know this from experience, that you only, particularly even just in December when I was sick, you only have a window of time. Before people are like, shut up. Like, I don't, I can't listen anymore. I can't listen to her moan. Even Sven, I can see him when I was sick, he's just kind of like, I, I can feel, he walks out the door to throw his eyes to heaven, but I know he's doing it.

• 4:20Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know. Yeah, people will only, people will only listen to people complain for a short amount of time. And then you get, you get moaned fatigue, don't you? You're like, oh, come on now.

• 4:31Speaker 02

  You're actually not too much of a whinger when you're sick. On the rare occasion that you are sick, you don't whinge that much.

• 4:38Speaker 01

  Well, that's because I, I'm, I'm alone.

• 4:40Speaker 02

  Yeah. So you're whinging privately.

• 4:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm like, I just kind of, I, I've learned because of my relationship status that I don't have one. I've learned to be very resilient and I know that now I've only myself to rely on because that's what happens.

• 4:57Speaker 02

  You wouldn't mind having a chat with Amber, would you, for me? I can't.

• 5:01Speaker 01

  She's not resilient like me. Amber's not mentally resilient like me.

• 5:05Speaker 02

  I had to screen her calls over the weekend. I was like, I can't answer it. I'd take the odd one and then I was like, no, I can't, I can't. She'd ring me like four times a day and I'd accept one because I just couldn't listen anymore. I'm like, I actually, do you know what? I don't care. And she's like, we had a fight over her, we had a fight over her having the flu because she was convinced it was way worse than the flu. And I was like, no, that sounds like the flu. It's not the flu. And I have this. And I was like, no, it sounds like the flu. And then eventually she found out it was the flu. But she's one of those people as well, when she breaks up with somebody, which hasn't happened for a long time, thankfully. She'll go on about it for months and months on end.

• 5:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, I have a touch, I do have a touch of that now. I just, I, I take it hard. I do. I take heartbreak hard. I, I, I crack. I do crack. But I actually have a friend going through it at the moment and it's horrible to watch. I forgot that like visceral, guttural, that constant nausea, nausea.

• 5:58Speaker 02

  I actually think.

• 5:59Speaker 01

  Sickness, sickness, sickness in the stomach.

• 6:02Speaker 02

  I think, and this is not to sound bad or take away from death, but I think like, like when I think of my dad dying, I'm like, I was really sad. But when you think of going through a really, like you're in pain when you go through a breakup, even though that goes away faster.

• 6:14Speaker 01

  That's the old, it's the old saying, there's no rejection in death. There's no rejection. It's the rejection of a breakup is, you're, you just, do you know what it is? It's because you, it triggers all these insecurities you have about yourself. So you're,

• 6:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:28Speaker 01

  All that stuff that you hate about yourself, when someone rejects you, you're like, oh, it's all true. I'm a waste of space. I have nothing of value. I'm that other person. And if they leave you for someone else, oh my God.

• 6:38Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 6:39Speaker 01

  Oh, then it's, all hell breaks loose. All hell breaks loose. You're like, I knew it. I'm an ugly bitch. I knew it. I knew it. And now it's been proven to me.

• 6:51Speaker 02

  This'll tell you about how great I think I am. Obviously, it takes me a while now before I'd be like, I had, I, I'll consider that I had anything to do with the breakup. Like what we were saying last week, I'm like, no, no, that wasn't me. It will take a while. And then I'm like, hmm, maybe, maybe the punch of me in there.

• 7:08Speaker 01

  I mean, I can't, I don't, I don't think, I can't say I find that completely surprising.

• 7:15Speaker 01

  She says diplomatically.

• 7:20Speaker 01

  Wouldn't say I'm shocked by that revelation.

• 7:23Speaker 02

  Your go-to would be to blame yourself. My go-to would be like, yeah, they were awful. They were terrible.

• 7:27Speaker 01

  I like the breakup's my fault. They're like, do you know what? We haven't even broken up yet. And I'm like, but we will, because everything ends. And it will be my fault. I don't know. We need someone, we need a middle ground. We're two extreme versions.

• 7:41Speaker 01

  We're both to Lulu in our own ways, do you know what I mean?

• 7:45Speaker 02

  But I, I, yeah, we're to Lulu, but I'm happy with the way I am. And so are you. Like, I'm, I'm not changing, I'm not changing for anyone. Too late.

• 7:51Speaker 01

  No.

• 7:52Speaker 02

  Forty now, nearly.

• 7:54Speaker 01

  I know. You're nearly, you're nearly in the club.

• 7:56Speaker 02

  I know. I'm excited.

• 7:58Speaker 01

  She's nearly middle aged. I can't wait. I can't wait.

• 8:02Speaker 02

  Middle age has changed now. I'm not middle aged because I'm not gonna die at eighty. I'm probably gonna die at ninety five, so.

• 8:10Speaker 01

  Well, apparently thirty is middle aged, according to some science thing I read recently. Yeah. But also, sorry, and then another thing I read, middle age no longer exists, as in like culturally, there's no such thing. Middle age used to be floor length floral dresses and you suddenly need to cut all your hair off. Not a thing anymore. Look at us. Look at us. Look at the, my hair's nearly down to my arse.

• 8:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, look at you. I went to get my, I went to get my, remember I told you I was gonna do fertility, I was, I went to get fertility checked. I don't know what, I think it's just this day and age, everyone's just worried about fertility. And I don't even know if I wanna have another child, but anyway, I went to get it checked. And, and like you said, so she's checking my fertility, she's like, everything was fine. And then she was like, oh, there is an egg has been released from the right ovary. And I was like, well done, well done. And then she goes, oh, an egg has been released from the left ovary. And I said, oh. I said, my friend, Joanne told me that when you get older, your body starts shooting out eggs, shooting, shooting, shooting. Well, Joanne, she told me that it doesn't just happen to older people. It actually can happen to younger women as well, where you just go pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop.

• 9:16Speaker 01

  I, well, look, this is why people don't believe my facts.

• 9:21Speaker 02

  Well, it's true, but it's also not true. It's half true.

• 9:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, fine. But like, no, no, no, well done. No, it is true. It is true.

• 9:29Speaker 02

  Well, the gynecologist said that it happens, it does, it can happen to older women, but it can also happen to young ovaries as well. It doesn't, it doesn't discriminate in age of the ovary.

• 9:38Speaker 01

  Oh, so were you double dropping eggs? Is that what you're saying?

• 9:41Speaker 02

  I double dropped an egg this month, so.

• 9:43Speaker 01

  And where, where do they get, like I said, where do they, to where?

• 9:47Speaker 02

  What do you mean? I've doubled, it releases an egg and it's gonna come out in your period. And then it released another egg at the same time. So now Spencer's wearing five condoms, just in case.

• 9:57Speaker 01

  Hold on a second. Is a period an egg?

• 10:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:03Speaker 01

  Joe, don't pretend. Joe, no, no, no, no, Joe. This is not the time for you to pipe up and pretend that you knew that.

• 10:09Speaker 03

  I realise this is not a good time for man's planning.

• 10:12Speaker 01

  It's the, it's the wall of the womb. It's the wall. We're shedding the wall.

• 10:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, but you're also getting rid of the egg that month.

• 10:17Speaker 01

  Well, they could have. Is this not something I should know about myself?

• 10:21Speaker 02

  Do you know what? Do you see when she said that? And I knew it was the egg, but when she was like, is it the egg? I was like, well, actually, now that Joanne says it might not be, yes, it is.

• 10:32Speaker 01

  Why don't they teach us that in school?

• 10:35Speaker 02

  Ah, what do they teach you in school?

• 10:37Speaker 01

  The train leaves the station at 8am. I'm never going to be on an 8am train. I don't do mornings. It's no, it doesn't matter. I don't need to know anything about mornings.

• 10:44Speaker 02

  Okay, so what it says is, "A period, also known as menstruation, is a vagina bleeding that occurs when the lining of the uterus sheds."

• 10:53Speaker 01

  Mm hmm. Sheds, yeah.

• 10:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, so I knew that, but then like I thought it was the egg coming down as well. Oh, this is shocking.

• 11:00Speaker 01

  It's not, it's not the egg. Oh my God, it's not the egg. It's just the wall. I was always in very masculine language. Men shed. It's, it's all very.

• 11:09Speaker 02

  No, hang on, let me just.

• 11:10Speaker 01

  Male focused, isn't it?

• 11:12Speaker 02

  Oh, no, no.

• 11:12Speaker 01

  Men love sheds.

• 11:13Speaker 02

  Okay, no. A period is the shedding of the lining of the uterus while an egg is released from the ovary during ovulation. Where does the egg go?

• 11:23Speaker 01

  Oh my God.

• 11:24Speaker 02

  What came first?

• 11:25Speaker 01

  What's coming out of it?

• 11:26Speaker 02

  What came first?

• 11:27Speaker 01

  It's the wall. It's the wall. Joe, do you have anything to say?

• 11:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, Joe, your stupid fallopian tube, get lost.

• 11:36Speaker 03

  I don't think I should, I don't think I should pipe up. So you carry on.

• 11:41Speaker 02

  You know, you can get, if you don't have any more kids, you know, the way that men can get the snip. Women can also get their fallopian tubes tied.

• 11:48Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 11:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:52Speaker 02

  It's more work for the women. The men should be doing it.

• 11:54Speaker 01

  Well, I don't know if I would trust. Anyway, I know I do trust men. I wouldn't trust a man to take the pill the morning after. But remember they were trying to bring out like a male morning. I don't even fucking take them. I don't, I don't take them myself. And I'm the one who had the knock on effect of getting pregnant and I'm like, shit, the pill. So I can, I wouldn't.

• 12:10Speaker 02

  You've just reminded my, my pill. That's, I have not taken that in quite some time.

• 12:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, wait till you hit 40, Vogue. You won't need that anymore.

• 12:19Speaker 02

  Joanne, my mom didn't.

• 12:20Speaker 01

  You enjoy them.

• 12:21Speaker 02

  My mom didn't.

• 12:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, enjoy every single one of them.

• 12:25Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 12:26Speaker 01

  Yum, yum.

• 12:27Speaker 02

  Come over here now, come over here tonight, we'll do a few of them together, go on.

• 12:41Speaker 02

  I recently struck up a conversation online with a very nice man that I was following on TikTok.

• 12:46Speaker 01

  Mm hmm.

• 12:47Speaker 02

  I had commented on a couple of his videos and he replied to one of my comments, asking me to contact him so we could get to know each other better.

• 12:55Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 12:56Speaker 02

  What a couple of heart emojis thrown in for good measure. Some of his videos have several million views, so I was skeptical at first, oh, but I verified that it was in fact a reply directly from him. I'd love to know who it is.

• 13:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:11Speaker 02

  Mm, I know. Uh, but wait, and I couldn't find anyone else's comment that he had sent a reply to, so I felt very special and extremely flattered. I got butterflies and felt real excitement as I debated whether to message him or not. Oh. Oh, wait, oh no, there was just one problem. I'm married with three children, Jo, I asked you not to put this in.

• 13:36Speaker 02

  I'm married with three children. I've been married for 15 years, but the spark went out of our marriage a long time ago. Oh, my husband has not had any interest in me for years. That's sad. So when someone picked me out of a virtual crowd, saying he wanted to get to know each other better, it did, it lit something inside me that I haven't felt in such a long time. So the next day I decided to message him. I had all the excitement of waiting for the messages to come and I felt like it was the first blushes of romance again. I'd forgotten what it felt like to be made feel special.

• 14:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:11Speaker 02

  But after a few messages back and forth, it turned out that it was all a ploy, ah, to get me to buy into his cryptocurrency business.

• 14:21Speaker 01

  No!

• 14:22Speaker 02

  Crypto shit.

• 14:24Speaker 01

  Oh, fuck, thank you.

• 14:25Speaker 02

  It's not like I would have kept it going or that I would have gone anywhere, as I have no intention of breaking up my family, but it just made me so sad that actually I was not special. You are special.

• 14:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:37Speaker 02

  And I probably won't feel that excitement or be made to feel special to someone like that again in this lifetime. And that just makes me so sad. No, no, that makes me so sad when she says that.

• 14:47Speaker 01

  That's not true. Do you know what this just says to me? That you have that. So firstly, your marriage is dead. Look, I'm not a married person and I know people stay in marriages that aren't necessarily thriving. But if there's nothing going on with you, what this says to me is that there is life in the old dog yet, as they say, and that you have the capability to fall mad about someone and to have all the butterflies and the fanny flutters and all that stuff. So go out and find another one. Leave your husband and find another one. You don't need to get that. You don't need that fucking TikTok crypto, dude. It just means that you have that in you.

• 15:20Speaker 02

  And if anyone's into crypto, God, I mean, come on.

• 15:23Speaker 01

  Run a mile.

• 15:24Speaker 02

  No bloody thanks. You'll be selling your banana for five million pounds soon enough.

• 15:28Speaker 01

  Stick that on the list to learn what the periods. What is crypto?

• 15:31Speaker 02

  No, I'm not. We're not even going to bother learning about that. Today, it's all about Bitcoin. And next week, on the main episode, we're going to cover crypto. That makes me really sad that you feel like that, but I understand that you don't want to break up your family. But also, you need to remember that you are special and you deserve to be made to feel special. And I think that a big, long conversation, really honest with your husband, would be helpful. I don't know if you've done that before, but before, like, I just think that.

• 16:02Speaker 01

  Sorry, you should probably speak to your husband first.

• 16:06Speaker 01

  Leave him. Leave him now. Say nothing. Pick up the kids. Out the door. Block him. Sorry, yeah, communication first, always.

• 16:16Speaker 02

  Communication. Yeah, a bit of communication, but you shouldn't, you shouldn't be made to feel like that. Like, you should feel happy. Like, I'm not saying that in marriage, you're going to be made feel special every single day. Like, Spenny and I are buying each other a bike for, for Valentine's this year, which just feels really sad.

• 16:31Speaker 01

  I'd love. I was only thinking the other day, I'm gonna, I might buy myself a bike.

• 16:35Speaker 02

  Do you want to go bike shopping? I don't even know where to start, but we go bike shopping.

• 16:38Speaker 01

  I'd love to go bike shopping. When, maybe when you come back from.

• 16:41Speaker 02

  When I'm come back, I'm going bike shopping.

• 16:44Speaker 01

  Anyway, sorry, this woman's marriage.

• 16:46Speaker 02

  She can come bike shopping too if she would like.

• 16:48Speaker 01

  Feel free.

• 16:49Speaker 02

  I'll buy you a bike. Do you wanna go? I'll buy you a bike.

• 16:52Speaker 01

  As part of your new life. But the, it's, this man came into your DMs, right? So he actively pursued you. But imagine you were actually out in the world looking for, your light was on, your light's probably not on at the moment. Imagine you kind of, imagine your husband just amicably said, look, it's not working. And then you went, set up your own life and went on Hinge and Tinder and met some lovely men and had lovely dates and stuff. Honestly, there is, it's, we've said it before and it's kind of infuriating. But the lift in your life it gives you when you have a crush, or when someone fancies you, or you fancy them back, it's just a little game changer. It's so nice. And, you know, why, why shouldn't she have it? Have it.

• 17:32Speaker 02

  I know, but also, by the way, just because he was trying to sell you crypto doesn't mean he didn't think you were right. Cause he obviously spotted you and thought, she's hot. And then mails you. But what I would say is-

• 17:42Speaker 01

  And rich, which I mean is-

• 17:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:43Speaker 01

  Really great compliments, yeah.

• 17:45Speaker 02

  I know, but imagine, listen, you've saved yourself a lot of hassle. Imagine having to listen to him talk shit about crypto for, no thanks.

• 17:52Speaker 01

  Do you know what's interesting? You know, kind of, um, uh, online romance scams?

• 17:57Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:58Speaker 01

  That they say that the experience for men and women is so different. So men's romance scams are, hot woman adds them, she says, show me a picture of your dick, he sends it to her, and then that person reveals himself to be some lad working on the dark web, and he blackmails that person. Whereas female romance, female focused romance scams, they lure them into thinking that they're in love with them. So you heard about your one in Ireland who thought she was in a relationship with Chris Martin from Coldplay.

• 18:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 18:25Speaker 01

  And so it's a much longer game, and they give over loads of money. So there's more kind of a connection involved in it. Um, so that's probably what this guy was doing. But he's irrelevant. The point is, he lit something in you. There's something to be lit inside you. Let someone else light it.

• 18:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, but, yeah, but I would say, first of all, we would say, speak to your husband about it. Maybe he hasn't got a bloody clue what's going on.

• 18:50Speaker 01

  I mean, yeah.

• 18:50Speaker 02

  Men are, men are not as-

• 18:53Speaker 01

  Clued in emotionally at times.

• 18:58Speaker 02

  Sometimes.

• 19:00Speaker 01

  Sometimes.

• 19:01Speaker 02

  Allegedly.

• 19:02Speaker 01

  Joe checks what we can say. That, is that okay, Joe?

• 19:05Speaker 03

  I think it's all fine as long as you just say you're not experts.

• 19:08Speaker 01

  Not all men.

• 19:10Speaker 02

  Not, not all of you, but most of you.

• 19:13Speaker 01

  Are at times not clued in emotionally at times.

• 19:18Speaker 03

  That can be the case.

• 19:19Speaker 01

  Allegedly, yeah.

• 19:21Speaker 02

  That's it, I think. I've had a lovely day.

• 19:24Speaker 01

  She's leaving a...

• 19:26Speaker 02

  No, Joanne, do let us know what happens. Go talk to your husband and actually, we would love to know what happens.

• 19:31Speaker 01

  This is my marriage. I mean, it's, it does, the, the difficulty in getting out of one is what would stop me going into one.

• 19:38Speaker 02

  I saw that, I saw that. It'd be hard, I suppose, if you have kids, but like, it was, I didn't mind getting out of one. It's...

• 19:45Speaker 01

  It's the kids is the problem.

• 19:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:47Speaker 01

  Best of luck with whatever happens and block that crypto, laddies. That's no, that's no use.