MTGM EXTRA! "His ex is a 10/10..."

When you check out his dating history and see his ex was a knockout, it's never great - but does it actually matter?? Plus, narcissistic personality disorder and why we should all be reading Waterford Whispers. If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] Please review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/ For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com For more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.com This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.

• 0:02Speaker 00

  This is a Global Player original podcast.

• 0:10Speaker 01

  Hello and welcome to My Purpose Goes To Be with me, Joanne McNally, and my co-host and work wife.

• 0:17Speaker 02

  Hello, Vogue Williams.

• 0:19Speaker 01

  Thank you. Thanks for spending time with me and Jo, Vogue. We really appreciate it.

• 0:23Speaker 02

  She's perching again. And hiding.

• 0:27Speaker 01

  This, I've developed some sort of weird, kind of, not particularly strange, I wouldn't call them quirks, but as I've aged, I'm very comfortable with my legs underneath my ass. Jo, have you found this? Yeah, it's very rare I just sit regularly now. I don't know, is I'm doing it for attention? I'm usually on my own when I do it, so I don't know why I'm doing it. I'm always up here perching. Don't know.

• 0:51Speaker 02

  I don't, I wouldn't mind a perch, but I wouldn't choose it. But I hate, have you tried to go kneel on one knee on a floor? At this age, it's really painful.

• 1:02Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:03Speaker 02

  It's not nice at all because we had to do it and I was like, I can't do this in the dancing show. I was like, I'm not doing it. They're like, you can't kneel. I was like, no, I actually can't kneel. I can't do it.

• 1:12Speaker 01

  I could do it, but I don't want to harm the babies, so I don't.

• 1:16Speaker 02

  The baby faces.

• 1:17Speaker 01

  The baby faces in my knees, I think it'd be quite cruel. I mean, I'd love to smash them out, but I can't, I won't. I don't want to hurt the babies.

• 1:24Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:24Speaker 01

  You can hear them cry when I kneel.

• 1:26Speaker 02

  They'll be looking, they'll be looking after you when you're older. Don't forget that.

• 1:29Speaker 01

  Will they? Will they?

• 1:32Speaker 02

  You'll eventually birth them through your knees, through your ankles, actually.

• 1:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:37Speaker 01

  And maybe just get a little, maybe just get them tattooed on, just lean into it completely, just trace around the baby faces that are already there. Miley Cyrus has them as well. I think if Miley has baby knees, I mean, if it's good enough for Miley, it's good enough for me.

• 1:50Speaker 02

  Don't you love when you see, when you hate some part of your body and then someone you admire and you see it on them and you're like, yes! I know, I know. Yeah, totally. You're like, oh, I'm not like, I'm not a monster.

• 2:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:02Speaker 02

  I showed you on a message that someone sent me yesterday. She's like, oh, Jesus, just a random. Oh, Jesus, your lips have gotten way too big now. And I just wrote back and I was like, well, they're just my lips. So like, there's nothing I can do about them. I haven't done anything.

• 2:16Speaker 01

  She had a mic drop moment where she actually, because you don't have any filler in your lips, do you?

• 2:20Speaker 02

  No, no. And I'll tell you what, when I see people with that lip, lip, flip, I was like, oh, that looks nice. But like, I never did it. But, um, yeah, I enjoyed that now writing back to us. Thank you very much. I am complimented.

• 2:32Speaker 01

  Yeah. Cause usually when they accuse us of stuff, accuse us of stuff, it's true. So.

• 2:39Speaker 01

  So then we don't reply at all. So when we know we're in the right, it's great to get that reply in. Well done.

• 2:47Speaker 02

  And now I've got to air my dirty laundry on the pod.

• 2:51Speaker 01

  Everything else is absolutely true, but she hasn't had filler. So fair.

• 2:56Speaker 02

  No, I'm sure I don't touch my face, but just stop.

• 2:59Speaker 01

  Not at all. Bit of news from me, bit of news.

• 3:04Speaker 02

  Oh, great. Yeah.

• 3:05Speaker 01

  My first ever Christmas tree, Jo. My first ever tree. Look.

• 3:08Speaker 03

  Oh, Merry Christmas.

• 3:09Speaker 01

  Oh, no. Look at that, Jo.

• 3:11Speaker 02

  It's a pretty, put the lights on.

• 3:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, put the lights on, mate. That's sad.

• 3:16Speaker 02

  She got coloured lights and I love the coloured lights. Look. Oh. It's a gorgeous, a very full tree. Did you, did you choose that, that tree?

• 3:29Speaker 01

  No, well, I know I'm like a dick, but my Lauren, the new P A did it all.

• 3:37Speaker 02

  I know. She was down at my house yesterday and she came at the worst time. I was like, sorry, it's not easy. It's not easy like this lying. It was so, everyone was just screaming. It was like half five, Jo. And I was like, I'm really sorry. It's very peaceful usually.

• 3:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:51Speaker 02

  Quick, quick, come down, quick.

• 3:53Speaker 01

  Usually just the children meditating in the corner. Gigi playing with the sound bell.

• 3:57Speaker 02

  Just like very relaxed. Gigi loves yoga.

• 4:02Speaker 01

  So I know, look, it's a very bougie and privileged thing to be able to have a personal assistant. But my god, I think this is gonna change my life.

• 4:14Speaker 02

  I'm thrilled.

• 4:16Speaker 01

  All that logistical stuff that I just never could never, and I know, look, a Christmas tree isn't exactly like, you know, it's not exactly the most important thing in the world.

• 4:25Speaker 02

  It is.

• 4:26Speaker 01

  But that's just one thing she's doing. It's like, all that stuff that I struggle with.

• 4:32Speaker 02

  Personally, I am thrilled. The amount of shite that got delivered for you yesterday and then she came and I was like, here you go. I literally helped her out with it. I was like, here you go, there's another one. Here's more. What are all those things?

• 4:43Speaker 01

  I think it's Ross Muir, you know, the artist that I love. I think, because I ordered some prints of him. I think that's what they are.

• 4:49Speaker 02

  You ordered nine.

• 4:52Speaker 01

  I support the arts, Vogue. I support the arts.

• 4:55Speaker 02

  You don't have any wall space.

• 4:57Speaker 01

  I know. What I'm gonna do now is I'm gonna start stacking them above. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna go like three, like three frames deep on each wall.

• 5:05Speaker 02

  The framers was about to close down until Joanne started getting art and bringing it in.

• 5:09Speaker 01

  I fucking know. I'll never get over the part. I have to stop giving out about the price of framing. Like, where's Joe gone?

• 5:14Speaker 02

  It's so worth it. I don't know. Maybe his baby's crying or something. Look at us. We just, we just stop. We stall.

• 5:21Speaker 01

  Joe, we told you, we can't do it if you're not looking at us.

• 5:24Speaker 02

  Bro.

• 5:24Speaker 01

  We can't.

• 5:27Speaker 02

  At least put a holding picture up for God's sake.

• 5:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, we need you to get, you need to just kind of loop a photo where he's just kind of, Joe?

• 5:37Speaker 01

  All right, Vogue, well, listen, we'll leave it there. Oh, he's back.

• 5:41Speaker 02

  Joe, we don't work when you're not there.

• 5:44Speaker 03

  Sorry, my child came back into the house. I had to facilitate her momentarily.

• 5:49Speaker 02

  Oh, oh, oh.

• 5:50Speaker 01

  I wonder, is she out working? Where is she going? Why do you mean she come back into the house?

• 5:53Speaker 03

  No. Crucially, she's not out working. She's not at nursery, which involves trying to do a day's work at home with a two-year-old in the house, which is so easy and so relaxing.

• 6:04Speaker 02

  Oh, God, yeah. Mine are all gone. Mine are all gone. They're gone to nursery and school. I did the drop-offs. Otto doesn't even take a glance at me. He literally just runs into nursery. He loves it so much.

• 6:16Speaker 01

  I, do you know what I, and I know we talk about this a lot, but this is my take on. I think having a broken home is great for a parent's personal time.

• 6:27Speaker 02

  Hundred, and as a, as a child from a bro-

• 6:30Speaker 01

  Would you agree?

• 6:31Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 6:31Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 6:32Speaker 02

  And as a child from a broken home, I also had a fantastic time.

• 6:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:37Speaker 02

  My mom was really strict, so I went there and I behaved. My dad was not strict, so I didn't go to school. I went on the piss, I snuck out at night. I had the best of both worlds.

• 6:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:50Speaker 01

  And if you have a pair, if you are co-parenting with somebody who's actually gonna do it with you, you get 50% of your time back. I don't know, I mean, if you have a dad who's quite handsome. I know a lot of dads don't really, they don't really take the kids 50% of the time. Is that sexist to show, you're kind of looking at them?

• 7:06Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 7:07Speaker 03

  That's probably broadly true. Not all dads.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  Not all dads, but we do, we, it's only the bonus, so we don't have time for nuance, we're going in stereotypical.

• 7:16Speaker 02

  Not all dads.

• 7:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, a lot of dads aren't really, they don't take the kids 50%.

• 7:20Speaker 02

  Basing in, basing it on personal experience, every, every second weekend and every Wednesday, there you go.

• 7:25Speaker 01

  I mean, it's a, it's a great setup for a man, I can tell you. She raises the ki- am I going complete trad wife here on this?

• 7:35Speaker 02

  She's doing it all alone.

• 7:36Speaker 01

  It's so early and, and, and we had our Christmas party last night, that I'm afraid my real opinions are gonna slip out without me having time to put them through the, the woke lens, but. Men don't do anything with their kids.

• 7:49Speaker 01

  Set us, set up, sorry, sorry, Jo.

• 7:52Speaker 02

  I have to say, my brother, Spenny's a good dad, but my brother is really, really nails it, nails it.

• 7:58Speaker 01

  Well, it's very clear you're suggesting that Spencer hasn't.

• 8:03Speaker 01

  That whole, that whole sentence stank.

• 8:06Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no, no. It's just because they're too obsessed with me, they can't bear it, like, they just want to be, like, he tried to get Gigi, she sneaks into her bed every night, she tried, he tried to get her to go and give him a hug and she just wouldn't this morning. We were lying together, having our own hugs, and I kind of love that. I don't, I'm not like, go on, Gigi, give him a hug. I'm like, no, come on, Gigi, come to me.

• 8:23Speaker 01

  Of course, of course, yeah.

• 8:29Speaker 01

  Joe, do you know Waterford Whispers? I just wanna do a little shout out.

• 8:32Speaker 02

  Waterford Whispers, who is that? It is-

• 8:35Speaker 01

  There's a couple of them.

• 8:36Speaker 02

  So good.

• 8:39Speaker 03

  I used to live with one of the writers for-

• 8:43Speaker 01

  Nooo. No way!

• 8:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:45Speaker 01

  Who?

• 8:46Speaker 03

  I can't, I can't tell you his identity, I can't.

• 8:49Speaker 02

  It's so good.

• 8:51Speaker 01

  Joe, they're not Banksy, they don't, they don't-

• 8:53Speaker 03

  Oh, I think they're Banksy.

• 8:54Speaker 01

  They don't, they're not.

• 8:55Speaker 02

  No one knows who they are, no, no one knows they are.

• 8:58Speaker 01

  Who's this? I'm not answering that, what am I, I'm not gonna- No, I think they do, oh, okay, so I ju-

• 9:03Speaker 02

  Go on, sure, get it, get it, you've nothing else on, go on, get it.

• 9:05Speaker 01

  It's gone to voicemail there.

• 9:06Speaker 02

  No, don't get it, your earphones would come off and then we'd be 15 minutes trying to get them back on.

• 9:11Speaker 01

  Waterford Whispers, it's particularly funny at the moment, or maybe they're just coming up my algorithm more because I've been engaging with their posts. They had a really funny post about Conor McGregor posts the Nikita Hand case.

• 9:23Speaker 02

  So they take really, like, obviously, Joe, you know, but for anyone who doesn't, they take proper, hard-hitting news stories, but they kinda take the piss out of the person who's been an absolute asshole.

• 9:32Speaker 01

  It's a satirical, it's a satirical newspaper, which doesn't actually physically really exist. It's, it's just online, hold on.

• 9:40Speaker 02

  Nice word.

• 9:42Speaker 01

  Satirical.

• 9:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, very well done.

• 9:44Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 9:44Speaker 02

  Saciated.

• 9:46Speaker 01

  Thank you, autonome, autonome. Autonome. It's one of her faves, she loves it.

• 9:54Speaker 01

  Here it is. "Doesn't reflect my values, McGregor's coke dealer severed tie with UFC man really made me laugh." And then they, and then they had one about, um, Greg Wallace. Calm-

• 10:07Speaker 01

  Just got me again there. I've looked at Reddit 16 times.

• 10:12Speaker 01

  "Calm down, sugar tits, Greg Wallace's guide to crafting the perfect apology."

• 10:21Speaker 02

  Oh god.

• 10:23Speaker 01

  So you found yourself in a spot of bother and now some middle-class women of a certain age won't take a joke, groping out, trying to give out to HR. You might be fearing the worst, job gone, career over. But relax, one of the world's leading apology experts Graham Thomas is on hand to dispense his priceless advice that'll get everyone back on your side.

• 10:48Speaker 01

  Step one, step one, step one, de-escalate. There's been a clear misunderstanding of a harmless punter. Calm down, sugar tits. Fire any and all publicists working for you. You've got this. I'd say his PR is crying.

• 11:02Speaker 02

  It's like when a kid, you know, when a kid does something wrong and you're like, say sorry. Say!

• 11:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:06Speaker 02

  It's like that kind of apology.

• 11:08Speaker 01

  Yeah. I'm sorry you took offence.

• 11:11Speaker 02

  Yeah. I'm sorry you weren't happy with the way I acted there.

• 11:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry you decided to feel shit about what I did, but that's on you, baby. That's on you. Calm down, sugar tits.

• 11:24Speaker 02

  Oh god, horrendous. Did you see Nick Cannon has come out and said that he has got narcissistic personality disorder?

• 11:32Speaker 01

  I did see that and I wondered why he did that.

• 11:36Speaker 02

  I mean, it's like, it's like turning around and being like, oh, hey, how are you? Yeah, I'm a serial killer. Lovely to meet you.

• 11:41Speaker 01

  I know. But you, but you know, what was his, what was his actual diagnosis?

• 11:46Speaker 02

  His actual, he said, his diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder, admitting, I need help. He was clinically diagnosed and is now working on self-improvement. I think that there is no self-improvement. It's like psychopaths. So you can't, you can't like, you can't make the better, it's like anxiety. You can't actually get rid of anxiety. You can only like, like live to learn with it and deal with it in your own little ways.

• 12:11Speaker 01

  I would say though circumstances can bring out narcissism. Like circumstances can help you develop narcissism. Like if he wasn't super famous, if he wasn't Nick Cannon, chances are he probably wouldn't be a narcissist. Like if you, it's my balloon theory, which I made up the other day. If you've enough people blowing smoke up your hole, you will turn into a narcissistic balloon. That's my take on it.

• 12:33Speaker 02

  Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance. So you'd have that anyway. A need for excessive admiration and a lack of empathy.

• 12:43Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 12:44Speaker 02

  I do like a bit of admiration. I do enjoy it.

• 12:51Speaker 04

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• 13:34Speaker 04

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• 13:56Speaker 02

  Dear Fogan Juan, your pod is one of my all-time favorite things. I've laughed at every single episode out loud. Always from the work desk, getting loads of work done.

• 14:06Speaker 01

  We love, we love to see it.

• 14:07Speaker 02

  Yeah. I have a question. My partner has an ex who is an absolute 10 out of 10. Bollocks. She's had her boobs done, nose done, jaw filler, botox, rocker style, and has tattoos. She is a knockout.

• 14:20Speaker 01

  Oh dear. Oh no.

• 14:25Speaker 01

  I'm sad for her already. Go on.

• 14:28Speaker 02

  I'd be thinking of things like, well, her baby won't look like her.

• 14:33Speaker 01

  Because of all the surgery. Yeah.

• 14:35Speaker 02

  I'd have to try and make myself feel better for some way. I'd be like, oh well, oh god damn it.

• 14:39Speaker 01

  You need to soothe yourself.

• 14:41Speaker 02

  I don't consider myself bad-looking, but it's very hard to not compare myself to her. In the past year, I've considered getting some work done and getting some tattoos. And I can't work out whether this is something I want for myself or if it can coincide with comparing myself to his gorgeous ex. God damn it. Any advice for how not to compare myself to an ex and on a complete 180, any advice for how to slowly enter the world of filler or botox? We don't know anything about that. So you'll have to, I don't know who you're going to talk to about the botox and filler.

• 15:09Speaker 01

  And frankly, we're offended that you would ask.

• 15:12Speaker 02

  I'm actually complimented. Thank you for thinking that we would go down that route.

• 15:15Speaker 01

  I'm offended at the suggestion.

• 15:17Speaker 02

  Wouldn't even go for a facial, not even a facial, just creams.

• 15:20Speaker 01

  I won't even get my eyebrows threaded. I just think it's catfishing.

• 15:24Speaker 02

  Hundred percent. Oh, natural. Oh God, that's annoying. You just, obviously, well, obviously he prefers you.

• 15:33Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, we don't, we, you can't, there's needs more information here. Like, why did they break up? Who broke up with who? What's the situation? Are they still in touch? Do they follow each other? Are they DMing? Like this is, there's, there's, there's more information needed. We need to follow up email.

• 15:46Speaker 02

  I know. I also, but I also think that you just, you just have to try not compare yourself to her because you aren't her. And like, turning into her would be really weird as well. If you just start coming home with tattoos, he's going like, what are you doing? They broke up, they're not together, he's with you.

• 16:01Speaker 01

  That is the main thing. That's the thing you have to focus on. And also, like, even if he is DMing her, that doesn't mean he should get a nose job. Do you know what I mean? Like, do you know the whole let them theory, Mel Robbins' let them theory? Are you familiar?

• 16:15Speaker 02

  No, but this sounds very interesting.

• 16:17Speaker 01

  It's kind of a, well, I mean, they're making this, I like Mel Robbins, they're making this huge deal about it, like she's kind of, like she's Eckhart Tolle, the kind of power and everything. Let them is this thing of like, just let, let, let things happen, let it play out. You can't stop stuff. If you can, if you can kind of develop this attitude of, do you know what? If he's going to fantasize about his ex, let him. Do you know what I mean? There's nothing you can do about it.

• 16:37Speaker 02

  I don't think that, I don't think that she's saying that. I just think that she's, she feels shit about herself because the ex is a 10 out of 10. But there's nothing that you can do about that. His ex is just unfortunately good looking, which is unfortunate.

• 16:49Speaker 01

  But I guess what she's implying is that she feels in his eyes that she's less than his ex. Like, do you know what I mean? If you took him out of the equation, this woman wouldn't be thinking about this other woman. So she's worried that he's comparing them. So she's doing the comparing for him, even though she doesn't know if he's actually even comparing them. Do you know what I mean?

• 17:08Speaker 02

  I'll tell you one thing, when you break up with somebody, you're definitely not comparing them because you're just, you're probably, once you break up with somebody, you're so like, ugh, done with that relationship for the most part. That you're literally, that is the last thing that you'll be looking for. So he probably doesn't even fancy her anymore.

• 17:24Speaker 01

  And I've gone out, in the past, I've gone out with men who, at the start of the relationship, I found very attractive, and at the end of the relationship, I didn't find attractive at all. Because they kind of lost their shine for me, because the relationship didn't work. So maybe, in his eyes, she's a little pig.

• 17:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, maybe she is revolting, and maybe now he hates tattoos. And better.

• 17:43Speaker 01

  It's the worst advice, oh my god.

• 17:46Speaker 02

  Well, we're trying to make her feel better about herself.

• 17:48Speaker 01

  Feminists rowing in their graves in shock.

• 17:51Speaker 02

  I think job done. Now you feel great about yourself.

• 17:54Speaker 01

  Comparison is the thief of joy.

• 17:57Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 17:58Speaker 01

  As they say.

• 17:59Speaker 02

  Who is this wise owl we have sitting in front of us today?

• 18:03Speaker 01

  I know, I know. I've told you, I'm big into philosophy at the moment.

• 18:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, I actually can tell.

• 18:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, on TikTok, I read three quotes a day, and I really...

• 18:14Speaker 02

  Did you see I emailed you back on TikTok?

• 18:16Speaker 01

  And then I just throw them out at people I see during the day, and I sound knowing, really, it's just, I just have one line.

• 18:23Speaker 02

  I mailed you back on TikTok.

• 18:25Speaker 01

  Did you mail me back on the TikTok?

• 18:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mailed her back and I said, oh my god, I didn't know that you could do this on here.

• 18:31Speaker 01

  Jesus, we have another channel of communication open for ourselves. We'll never stop.

• 18:34Speaker 02

  We needed more advice, if you're asking me.

• 18:38Speaker 01

  But yeah, I also know what it's like when, so there's, like, there's a particular style of women who wear the kind of heavily tattooed, the cool chicks, as they'd say. And I went out with a guy before, who, that was very much his type before me, and very much his type after me, which I found a little intimidating, because I wasn't like that. And I was like, oh god, if he's into that, maybe I should start doing that. So I had a similar thought process, and I'll tell you, I'm very fucking glad I didn't start getting a load of tattoos from that man. I'm very glad now that I didn't do that.

• 19:13Speaker 02

  Hundred percent, yeah.

• 19:21Speaker 02

  Thank you so much for listening and we will see you next week.

• 19:25Speaker 01

  Reminder, Penophile is on sale, New Stand Up Show on sale, at chabamaknae.com.

• 19:29Speaker 02

  Thank you. And my book is on pre-order. The link is in my bio on Instagram.