Pod Insights My Therapist Ghosted Me MTGM EXTRA! "He was the reddest flag." About this episode So, what's happened this week? Topshop is back, Pat has given up golf, the email is MAD and amazing and one of you has upset Michael Flatley.
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Transcript 0:02 Speaker 00 This is a Global Player original podcast.
0:10 Speaker 01 Welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Joanne McNally and my two
0:17 Speaker 02 comrades.
0:18 Speaker 01 Comrades.
0:19 Speaker 02 Vogue Williams and Joe Attywell, who are delighted it's back.
0:23 Speaker 01 Do you reckon we'll ever let Joe introduce himself?
0:27 Speaker 02 Yeah, Joe, why don't you?
0:28 Speaker 01 Oh.
0:29 Speaker 02 I'll tell you what, no, let's let Joe do, let's let him do the goodbye.
0:32 Speaker 01 You can do it at the end, Joe. We'll let you do the goodbye at the end.
0:34 Speaker 03 Okay, I'll prop up at the end, yeah.
0:36 Speaker 01 Practice, yeah.
0:37 Speaker 02 I've just got off a techno gym bike ride and I think I've changed alliances, allegiances? Alliances, I don't know which one.
0:44 Speaker 01 Alligences. We've changed allegiances. Go on, who are we alluding to now?
0:48 Speaker 02 I think we're moving on to the techno gym bike. I don't do much biking.
0:52 Speaker 01 What?
0:52 Speaker 02 I know, I don't do much biking anymore. And I'll tell you what, it's cheaper than what you, because you have to pay per month for a Peloton as well.
0:58 Speaker 01 We never bought real bikes in the end, did we?
1:00 Speaker 02 Oh God, I did, sorry. Jesus Christ.
1:02 Speaker 01 What? Oh my God, that was supposed to be a team building exercise.
1:08 Speaker 02 Joanne, I can't rely on you. I had to open Otto's Christmas present last week. I thought, I'm not waiting for her anymore. I'll take the glory.
1:17 Speaker 01 You didn't even tell him it was from me?
1:19 Speaker 02 I did, I went in, I said, hey Otto, this is for you. And then I was walking, I said, yeah.
1:28 Speaker 01 I mean, I guess it's not fair to my kids, wait six months for their Christmas presents. I'm working on, I have, um.
1:35 Speaker 02 At least you got the Christmas present, it's a step up.
1:37 Speaker 01 I got the Christmas present.
1:39 Speaker 02 Did you get Joe a baby present?
1:40 Speaker 01 Joe, so you have, you've had the baby, that's why you're back. Okay, well now I know, that he's definitely had the baby because he's back. I wasn't sure if he was off because he hadn't had the baby yet.
1:48 Speaker 02 Oh, I see, so. That's so interesting because it's so, your phone must have been hacked because when he sent the baby pictures through and you commented on how cute the baby was, that must have been a hacker.
1:59 Speaker 01 That was Lauren, that was my P, that was my P A. Anything that goes wrong now is Lauren, she's in everything. Yeah, she's in everything, it's all Lauren. Um, Joe, I will get you back, but I got you one the last time as well. So I hope this is the end of the babies now because, you know.
2:14 Speaker 03 No more babies now, mate, that's it, final baby.
2:17 Speaker 01 Grand. And you can re-gift them all to me when I have my solo, surrogate child girl. Whenever Kodel Markovich arrives on the scene.
2:29 Speaker 02 We could have some really good names. Like you could call it, what's my fav- no, I'm not telling you in case, in case I have one.
2:36 Speaker 01 And then I steal it. Did you see there was some story going around, some celebrity, they broke, a girl and a guy broke up and the, and the guy got a dog and called it the girl's favourite baby name?
2:46 Speaker 02 Oh.
2:48 Speaker 01 There were these Amer- do you know there's loads of celebrities in America that you've never heard of?
2:51 Speaker 02 Yeah.
2:52 Speaker 01 It was one of those, it was one of the Mormon Moms or one of the housewives or someone I never heard of.
2:55 Speaker 02 Oh, I love that spite.
2:57 Speaker 01 But there was, it really made me laugh, even though it's really mean.
3:00 Speaker 02 My favourite baby name used to be Rocco, called one of my dogs Rocco. I love the baby name Winston. I have Winston. And my auntie Gina, obviously her dog was called Gigi, who thankfully passed away just a month before Gigi was born.
3:13 Speaker 01 Oh, is that why Gigi's always in the pedigree chums? She's been reincarnated.
3:16 Speaker 02 She's, woof woof. Yeah, yeah.
3:19 Speaker 01 She's always barking. She was barking orders at adults. Do you know what my favourite baby name is? If I don't go down the traditional Ruda Kodelmarkovich, it'll be.
3:29 Speaker 01 I love the name Stella, but sadly the beer has ruined it. But I love the OG Stella.
3:36 Speaker 02 I actually didn't even think of the beer Stella, but Kieran, my business partner, his dog is called Stella.
3:43 Speaker 01 Yeah, I don't mind, I don't mind sharing a name with a dog. Like I have friends whose dogs are called like Brendan and stuff. Like it's fun giving dogs adult human names. I have no problem with that.
3:51 Speaker 02 I agree. And especially the human names that are dying. Like if you're gonna, if you're getting a puppy, get, call it Gary, call it Neil, Kieran.
3:59 Speaker 01 Kevin.
3:59 Speaker 02 They're all dying names. Kev- mm, Kevin, yeah, Kevin's a dying name.
4:03 Speaker 01 Joanne. I mean, no one in their right mo- Vogue, I mean, no one in their right mind is one of their kids, Joanne or Vogue.
4:09 Speaker 02 I met a Vogue recently, actually, last year, a young girl in Spain.
4:13 Speaker 01 Were you on mushrooms? Was it yourself?
4:14 Speaker 02 No, I wasn't on mushrooms, looking in the mirror. It was a young girl in Spain, two young girls I've met called Vogue.
4:20 Speaker 01 This sounds like you did ayahuasca and you chatted to yourself under a mother moon, because I don't believe for a second there's another person in the world called Vogue, except for the magazine.
4:26 Speaker 02 Green is not your colour. Joanne, okay?
4:31 Speaker 01 That actually took me a second to get because I have the mouth with these giant green water tanks because I'm, I've obviously fallen victim to the, the pressure and the trend of drinking 19 kilos of water a day.
4:42 Speaker 02 I love that trend. It's my favourite trend. Only if it has Robinson's in it.
4:48 Speaker 01 Between that and the amount of protein I have to get in, I don't have time to sleep these days.
4:52 Speaker 02 Don't you dare forget about your collagen. Oh my God, I can send you some collagen now. You'll be thrilled.
4:56 Speaker 01 Apparently, according to my, my beauty sources, because you know, I take beauty and skincare very seriously, collagen, ingesting collagen has no impact on anything.
5:09 Speaker 02 You see, I don't agree with that because I ingest collagen, I ingest collagen and there's certain supplements that I do take and, but I saw, I saw something as well about when you get, remember you get, we got those injections when we were in Cardiff, remember the vitamin injections?
5:23 Speaker 01 Vitamin inject.
5:23 Speaker 02 And someone said you just weed them out. Like, I'm sorry, but I think that like, you do feel better after you have them. I, I think that they work. I take supplements and I believe particularly magnesium at night really works.
5:34 Speaker 01 Does your stomach acid not just dissolve all this shit away?
5:39 Speaker 02 Well, there is, there's a, there's a probiotic that I take that, that it all, that that doesn't happen with this probiotic. I always think of stomach acid, like if you shoved your whole fist down there, your, your hand would just come out like just bones.
5:51 Speaker 01 Of course it would. It would.
5:53 Speaker 02 Would it actually now?
5:53 Speaker 01 It would. Bit of news, bit of news, bit of fashion news.
5:58 Speaker 02 Go on.
5:59 Speaker 01 I don't know how I missed this. Topshop is coming back. I missed it. Did you hear this?
6:03 Speaker 02 I, to be honest with you, I don't remember it going away. I know the main shop went, but Topshop went on to ASOS. So it's kind of like this whole comeback tour.
6:13 Speaker 01 The shop, I know it's, but it, but it is a genuine comeback. It's not like when Madonna disappears for six months and then it comes back and they call it, this is a genuine, all the shops went. There was no physical, physical purchasing of Topshop available.
6:28 Speaker 02 There was on ASOS, I am telling you.
6:30 Speaker 01 No physical, so I mean like going into a shop.
6:32 Speaker 02 Go to the shop, yeah.
6:33 Speaker 01 Yeah, there was no shop and but I found that when Topshop went, I was kind of glad to see it go because they'd gone very boring. Topshop used to be kind of cutting edge. I mean, it's cutting edge, it's high street fashion could be. And then it kind of went, it got very boring, kind of like what's happened to Zara, to be totally honest. You go in there and they just want to take a nap. Zara used to be.
6:52 Speaker 02 I don't remember the last time I've been in Zara.
6:54 Speaker 01 It's all just beige fucking vanilla stuff now, whereas it used to be kind of, there was like, it's just very officey corporate shit now. Whereas it used to, you'd go in there for like, it's not really my vibe anymore, which is a shame because I still go in there sometimes for nostalgia, just do a lap of the shop to feel like I'm at home. But anyway, Topshop's coming back and I'm really, really hoping they're going to bring something interesting to the market here.
7:19 Speaker 02 They should bring Kate Moss back again. And she did that, that was the first kind of like celeb collab with a clothing brand. Like Kate and them do it now and they do it really well, but I remember when Kate Moss was releasing all those dresses and she was in the window like a mannequin and everything.
7:32 Speaker 01 Yeah. They'll have to do some top tier PR that like Topshop, they've so much money. I mean, I'm surprised it didn't send Kate Moss to space with the rest of the girlies as a kind of a launching of Topshop. That was a missed opportunity in my personal ex-publicist opinion, but there you go. But yeah, we'll have to see if it's going to come back with the bang or if it's going to come back with one of those kind of.
7:53 Speaker 02 A puff.
7:54 Speaker 01 A puff, yeah. Yeah.
7:57 Speaker 02 I would.
7:58 Speaker 01 I'll be watching.
7:58 Speaker 02 I remember when you remember you'd go to London like on a trip and you'd literally, Topshop was your destination. It was the tourist destination to go to. And I'd spend hours in that shop, couldn't afford anything, but then I had a friend who worked there and then she got 30% off and all of a sudden I was rolling around at Topshop.
8:17 Speaker 01 Yeah, you're back in the, back in the game, baby.
8:19 Speaker 02 Yeah.
8:20 Speaker 01 They lost their way as many brands do and as people do. Namaste. So hopefully. Hopefully now I'll be expecting big things from. Lady shop.
8:33 Speaker 02 So watch out, Topshop, or else Joanne will be at it. Uh, Gigi will be thrilled. Gigi has a new fashion style she loves.
8:40 Speaker 01 Go on.
8:41 Speaker 02 Four year old girl. Anytime she puts on, well, basically, I, I, I have a kid's clothing range. If you haven't noticed the kids' clothing range, a little shout out to Jen, um, available at Marks and Spencer's and next. But anyway, there's these pyjamas and she will not wear. She will not, oh, she will not. Seven to eight, she'll be grand.
9:02 Speaker 02 It's stretchy, stretchy.
9:04 Speaker 01 Oh, is it? Okay, I'll pop in, I'll pop in.
9:05 Speaker 02 I'll give you some of the swimsuits, the swimwear.
9:09 Speaker 02 But anyway, so she, she, uh, she comes out in the pyjamas and a short and a t-shirt. She insists on the top. She's like, well, you do the roll thing at my top. So she wants the top rolled up like a belly top and tucked under. So she wants to go around in a belly top and she's four years old. I'm like, oh my god.
9:26 Speaker 01 But you know why that is? I can tell you why that is straight away.
9:29 Speaker 02 Me?
9:30 Speaker 01 Cause her mother holidays 360 days out of the year. So all she sees is mama in a bikini. So that's all she knows. She doesn't, she's, it's, she hasn't seen mama fu- fully dressed in a very long.
9:44 Speaker 01 She hasn't seen mama in very, fully dressed in a very long time. She's a St. Barth's baby. Of course she's not gonna be wearing, of course she's gonna have her navel on show.
9:54 Speaker 02 I just thought it was very, I remember doing it and I remember I used to do it because my mom forced me to play golf when I was younger. And so like, I'd be like this, I know.
10:04 Speaker 02 Uh, we're, it's a golf family. So obviously I would roll up to the golf course and I'd be in, I remember, do you remember those Calvin Klein fake little tops that you could get? And like, you'd get them when you went on holidays in Spain, in Spain. And I used to get, wear one of them belly top Calvin Klein top. And I remember like the, the golf course would be on two sides of a road and you could see one of the holes from the road. And my mom caught me at the hole about to take a shot in a little belly top and shorts. And she was like mortified that I'd gone to the golf club like that.
10:35 Speaker 01 They have quite, they're quite conservative up in the golf clubs, aren't they?
10:38 Speaker 02 Too much sure. There's some golf clubs that are only men. How boring.
10:42 Speaker 01 I know.
10:44 Speaker 01 Don't want to see their bellies. My mother, Pat, has just retired from the golf. She rang the other day to say she's retired from the golf. She's retired from the physical golf, but not the social side of things. She's still gonna go for coffee with the women, but she said, I said, well, why did you retire from the golf? You loved it. She goes, I didn't, I didn't. I said, she goes, I never got good at it. She's been doing it years. And she said, she's not, she didn't, she didn't.
11:05 Speaker 02 Do you know what? That's the perfect example of really giving it a go.
11:08 Speaker 01 Sorry, she's, she's been at it years and she said she didn't improve at all.
11:14 Speaker 01 Yeah. So she's finally given it. She's given it. She's given it. She's tapping out.
11:19 Speaker 02 I appreciate her honesty.
11:20 Speaker 01 Yeah, she's just gonna go to the Christmas parties and the, and the events and stuff, but she's not gonna actually hold any of the golf clubs anymore.
11:26 Speaker 02 Golf is so hard. It is so.
11:29 Speaker 01 It's really hard, yeah.
11:30 Speaker 02 There's like 1% of people that are good at it in the world. I'm sorry. It's like, it's an impossibility. It's, do you know what? It doesn't even seem like that much crack to me. I suppose when we get older, we have to think about things that we'll be doing and maybe we'll be doing the golf. I don't know.
11:44 Speaker 01 You get your steps in.
11:45 Speaker 02 You get your steps in. Golf is, and it's a nice pleasant little light sport, I suppose.
11:50 Speaker 01 I know. One of my friends was saying, he's a ma, he's a male.
11:54 Speaker 02 One of the, yes, okay.
11:56 Speaker 01 He's one of the other ones. And he was saying that he has friends who before they got married, they knew they were gonna be marrying these, these women. And they basically kind of set the bar that they were like, look, I, I'm a big golf person, even though they weren't. And then they started playing golf. So that they could fuck off for nine hours a day on the weekend.
12:15 Speaker 02 It's, to be honest with you, it's, it's kind of unacceptable. It's, it's too, it's a, it's a good six hours to get around an 18. And like, for women who don't know, just so you know, your husband, if he's longer than six hours, he's taking the absolute piss out of you. And that's a really, a really slow game. Spenny like was obsessed, you know the way he does this. He gets really obsessed with things. And he went through a phase of getting obsessed with golf and bought the most expensive golf clubs he could buy, probably used them about three times. Joined as an oversea member, as a golf club in Ireland. And he's like, he is absolutely furious because he just kept getting, he keeps getting the emails about members who have died. Because they're all obviously really old. He's like, how are so many people dying in this place? It's like, we regret to inform you. And he's like, for fuck's sake, what's in the water?
13:00 Speaker 01 It is, it's a, yeah, it's got a Final Destination vibe, doesn't it? It's like, well, it's for the older generation. Well, it's not actually, but a lot of them do take it up. Like, that's why Pat took it up when she was about to retire. She was like, I'm going to need to have something to do. So, and it's not, it's not a particularly fast paced sport. So you don't need to be in your prime and you can kind of like trot around and, yeah.
13:21 Speaker 02 Alzo, Alzo went to, he, he's brilliant at golf, my little brother Alzo. And he went to, he got a scholarship in Berkeley in America to go and play golf.
13:30 Speaker 01 Oh.
13:30 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, he was really, really good. But like, one of the guys that was, one of his friends on the, I can't remember his name now. But he's basically on the PGA tour making millions a year. Like, I mean, like 30, 40 million an year. I'm like, Alzo, what the fuck happened? How, what's, what's happened here? How has he done that? I'm like, you're on the same class.
13:49 Speaker 01 That must be a hard pill to swallow.
13:50 Speaker 02 Honestly, he's like, nah, he, he actually just decided that he didn't want to do it. He didn't want to try and go like to be a professional. It's such a full on thing. I always think about golf wives as well, like, how, like, I feel like you have to move to Florida. Why do they all move there?
14:06 Speaker 01 For the, are they, do they have great golf courses? I dated a golfing guy once and I.
14:11 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
14:13 Speaker 01 He took me out to golf.
14:15 Speaker 02 Golf.
14:18 Speaker 01 I was doing, I was doing the golfing, um, and.
14:24 Speaker 02 The driving range, probably.
14:25 Speaker 01 No, no, no, no, no, it was on, it was around the little mounds, around the little courses. And, um, I, I was, I've no strategy as such. I'm just like, and the amount of grass flying and fuck me, like, at the place. Looked like the moon by the time I was done. There was just craters everywhere. Because I, I just felt like it was better to go with force rather than strategy as such. But when I did hit it, it went really far and it only went backwards once.
14:55 Speaker 01 Yeah, it went forwards most of the time.
14:58 Speaker 02 You'd be better in a sun lounger in the bunker with a cocktail, I think.
15:01 Speaker 01 Ah, yeah.
15:02 Speaker 02 That'd be your golf.
15:04 Speaker 01 Yeah, it just finds me in the sand, dune, tan on my back. I was like, I'm sorry, I didn't realise it was over.
15:10 Speaker 02 Well, let's not slide golf too much because we're going to take it up in about 10 years' time.
15:15 Speaker 02 I'll see you there. I'll see you on the course.
15:17 Speaker 01 I can't do anything until I find my whoop. I've made that decision for myself. I can't do any exercise until the whoop reemerges from America. I can't, there's no point unless it's.
15:26 Speaker 02 Did you bring a suitcase home or no?
15:29 Speaker 01 I haven't lost the whoop. It just hasn't emerged yet. I'm just waiting for it to naturally show itself. I'm not going to rush it.
15:38 Speaker 02 The mic and the whoop have been hiding on her.
15:40 Speaker 01 But I'm not doing any exercise until the whoop is back on my wrist because I don't want to waste the data.
15:47 Speaker 02 I actually, I appreciate that. I do.
15:49 Speaker 01 Yeah, there's no point moving around if I don't know where I'm going or why I'm going there or how many, how my heart rate is, you know?
15:57 Speaker 02 Would you not just get an Oura ring? Because like, mine's gone a bit not gold because I've had it for like three years, but then it's just on your finger forever.
16:04 Speaker 01 I haven't given up on the whoop. The whoop's gonna, I'm telling you, the whoop's gonna come back. It's like a little beam run.
16:08 Speaker 02 It'll come back with the mic. Well, did you bring anything home from New York? Like, did you get the case back?
16:14 Speaker 01 Moving on.
16:14 Speaker 02 Did you bring your case back? Did you leave a case there?
16:17 Speaker 01 No, I just brought back, no, I just had like loads of jackets on me and all, just landed. Shoes on every hand and all, I didn't bother with the cases.
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17:33 Speaker 02 Hey girls, it's important we all stay up to speed with dating trends, dating language and everything else. So I had to share this.
17:39 Speaker 01 Hundred, hundred percent. Hundy P. Yeah.
17:41 Speaker 02 Even I like to be kept up to date on this. I, I had a weird sex dream about someone last night. That's just reminded me, the most random person. Anyway, moving on.
17:52 Speaker 01 Was it me?
17:54 Speaker 02 I wish.
17:55 Speaker 01 So do I. Sounds weirdly an atheist.
18:02 Speaker 01 It'd be nice to know celestial me is getting us.
18:05 Speaker 02 Do you ever wake up though and you're like, I actually felt like a creep. I was like, oh my God, why was I thinking those things?
18:12 Speaker 01 Was it a girl or a boy? Girl or a boy?
18:13 Speaker 02 No, it was a boy, but I was just doing odd stuff now, to be honest.
18:18 Speaker 01 Interesting.
18:18 Speaker 02 I have to tell Sven about that actually, because it's so funny who it was. Anyway, the re, uh, I was at day three with this guy who was the reddest flag, but I really only wanted something casual. So I was putting in the time. I knew I'd go back to his that night. So it was a done deal. The reason I have to tell you about this is because when we got back to his, the conversation turned almost immediately to the size of his penis. Mad, right?
18:44 Speaker 01 For, I assume from him as opposed to from her.
18:48 Speaker 02 Yeah.
18:49 Speaker 01 That wasn't clear.
18:50 Speaker 02 No, I think it's from him. I don't find that unusual.
18:53 Speaker 01 I don't think that's, I mean, if you're going back, like that's kind of what you're going back to see. So he's, it's the preamble.
18:59 Speaker 02 I mean, he should have, you should have asked before you went back. But anyway, we don't know how this is going to turn out. Um, the, the reason, oh no, hang on. He's really muscular and built and before he'd even poured me a drink, he was building me up for the big reveal. Except the language he was using was hilarious.
19:15 Speaker 01 Oh, go on.
19:16 Speaker 02 Girls, tell me, has a man ever revealed his penis to you consensually and described it as deceptively big?
19:26 Speaker 01 Deceptively big.
19:28 Speaker 02 I shit you not. Basically telling me that if I thought it was small, I was wrong because my eyes were lying. Incredible. I had sex with him and can confidently say, I'll never see him again. It was deceptively bad.
19:47 Speaker 01 Hold on a second now. We need to unpack this. So basically, so basically he gaslit her into saying he had a huge dick when he actually didn't have a huge dick, but he was like, you don't know what you're seeing because actually it's really big.
20:00 Speaker 02 I think he had a micro penis and was trying to say to her.
20:04 Speaker 01 Is that what she's saying?
20:04 Speaker 02 Yeah, was trying to say to her, oh, I know that you think it looks small, but it's big. But there are people who are growers, not showers. And that is true.
20:13 Speaker 01 Oh, 100%. So.
20:17 Speaker 02 I think it was just small though.
20:18 Speaker 03 So it's possibly they have big, powerful muscular legs and against those, maybe it just sort of looked less.
20:24 Speaker 01 Oh, well, he's on the roids. He's probably on the roids.
20:28 Speaker 01 That's what it is. Yeah.
20:29 Speaker 02 I've seen anyone's balls when they're on the roids. They're literally like.
20:32 Speaker 01 Yeah, raisins.
20:33 Speaker 02 Vaginas.
20:36 Speaker 01 God loved them. God loved them.
20:41 Speaker 02 God bless. Yeah.
20:42 Speaker 01 God bless them. God bless them. I remember I was with the lad. He was very well hung. And of course, it's always a nice surprise when they don't, when they haven't built you up to it. Do you know what I mean? They just reveal.
20:54 Speaker 02 Yeah.
20:54 Speaker 01 And I was like, Jesus. Fair play. And he goes, yeah, I'm very blessed, very blessed.
21:03 Speaker 01 Very blessed. I'm very blessed. Very blessed.
21:07 Speaker 01 I was like, you are indeed. You're very blessed. Very blessed. Very blessed.
21:13 Speaker 02 Fair play to.
21:14 Speaker 01 He was from Dublin, obviously. Very blessed. Well, sorry to that, sorry to that woman for having to go through that. And sorry to that man for having to live through that.
21:21 Speaker 02 I feel bad for him as well. Like, like it'd be hard to be, well, do you know what? People slag the size of my boobs all the time and it doesn't, and now when I say it doesn't bother me, I did get on to Dr. Hugh. The other day and I was like, is there, I was like, is there anything I can do that's not surgery? And he was like, no.
21:38 Speaker 01 No.
21:39 Speaker 02 And I was like, go on, there must be something I can eat. There must be something.
21:44 Speaker 02 And he was like, you can do fat transfers. And I was like, no, that's, that sounds painful. I don't want to do it. So actually I think. Even though people thought-
21:52 Speaker 01 Would you not gift yourself a set of tits for your birthday?
21:55 Speaker 02 The thing about it is, and I've unpacked this with myself, because obviously I wish that I did have slightly bigger boobs, because I think they'd look nicer in a bikini. But then, on the flip side, I like the way they look in a top when they're not muscle boobs.
22:06 Speaker 01 Yeah, well, there.
22:07 Speaker 02 I think I'm gonna invest, I thought, I'm gonna invest in really good chicken fillets for my bikini. And then just, you know where there's a little, like, there's a little slot where, well, you probably don't, because you've got decent sized boobs, where you put in the padding anyway, take that padding and put in the chicken fillet padding. So that's my, you won't, you won't even know me when you see me in Spain.
22:28 Speaker 01 Uh, uh, listen, I, I, there's a lot to be said for a disco tit, and I, I think you have a great set of disco tits. I'm only saying gift yourself a set of tits because you talk about it a lot, that's all.
22:38 Speaker 02 I know, but that's what-
22:39 Speaker 01 I think you're, I think you're perfect just as you are.
22:42 Speaker 02 Interesting.
22:43 Speaker 01 Everyone's perfect as they are, except for Andrew Tate and Conor McGregor, but everyone else is fine. I'm put in a drum. Everyone else is great.
22:48 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah. Well, then we can, we can definitely talk, Elon Musk ain't great either.
22:53 Speaker 01 Elon Musk's not great.
22:55 Speaker 02 Not great.
22:55 Speaker 01 He's showing us true colours. Yeah. Jimmy Savile, but he's passed.
23:00 Speaker 02 Still not great, not great, not great. There's a lot, there's a lot there. We'd be all day.
23:04 Speaker 01 Margaret Thatcher, not ideal. Let's keep going.
23:08 Speaker 02 I-
23:13 Speaker 02 I, well, I like when we get a little political the odd time.
23:17 Speaker 01 Look at us. We're practically, I know. We're like a little party.
23:23 Speaker 02 Okay, so do you know when you did a shout out for the celebs who blocked me? Hi girls, I heard you're doing a call out for a celebrity who blocked me and why? And I fear I might have the strangest one yet. Oh my god.
23:34 Speaker 01 Ooh, fab.
23:36 Speaker 02 You see, Michael Flatley, famous for making Irish dancing popular, particularly in Riverdance and Lord of the Dance, blocked me on Instagram. My crime, you might ask, loving him.
23:51 Speaker 01 What was it? Did I laugh over what happened?
23:53 Speaker 02 Loving him.
23:57 Speaker 01 Oh, okay. Yeah.
23:59 Speaker 02 My family has always been rather obsessed with Riverdance.
24:02 Speaker 01 I think I'm already team Michael. Go on.
24:06 Speaker 02 My sister and I would force our family to watch our atrocious performances as children. When I grew up, I channeled this obsession into following Michael Flatley on Instagram. I would take the piss a little bit, liking his stories, commenting on his posts. I love you, Michael. And heart eye emojis, et cetera. He seemed to also take a liking to me and would like my posts and react to my stories. Oh, my God. I thought I had an in and if I DM'd him, he'd be open to it. So one Christmas Eve after one too many drinks, oh no, I hate when this happens. I used to go out with a guy and honestly, he used to, he used to sit up drinking on his tober sometimes and just like mail loads of celebrities and it would make me want to die.
24:51 Speaker 02 We decided to send him the link to the Ireland AM Riverdance massage interview. It's a clip of a woman vigorously massaging a man to the Riverdance theme music while the presenter wets himself at laughter in the corner.
25:06 Speaker 02 Truly iconic. I sent the link to Michael and asked him if he has ever received a Riverdance massage. He blocked me there and then.
25:17 Speaker 02 Absolutely heartbreaking that our romance was cut short, but a great story nonetheless. That's so funny.
25:23 Speaker 01 That's so funny. I would say that Michael was attracted to this woman. This is my version of, he's just intimidated and that he was attracted to her and he couldn't trust himself because he's a married man. He was like, oh God, if this, I would love a Riverdance massage from this woman. So that's why he blocked her. That's what I would say.
25:40 Speaker 02 Possibly. I'm going to go look at Michael Flatley now. I think I might follow him.
25:44 Speaker 01 So funny. When I was in, when I, when I, when I was over in New York, I went back to a house party and within an hour of the house party, I had the house parties, I was had, I had Riverdance up on the TV and had everyone watching it.
25:56 Speaker 02 Ah, I mean, if you have to show off being Irish, you have to show off Riverdance. Everyone loves it.
26:00 Speaker 01 Woke up and I was like, oh God, Jesus Christ. Cause now they're looking as much as I did, you know what I mean? So I was like, oh God. They're all trying to look at their phones. I'm like, look at the camera. She's coming in sideways now. Hold on, here she comes. Look at the legs.
26:14 Speaker 02 I remember Svenny's family, they have this thing that sometimes you do a little party trick. And like, we don't really do that with our family. But anyway, off I went, River Dancing around the place. I've never had an Irish dancing lesson in my life.
26:27 Speaker 01 They would know though, you see.
26:29 Speaker 02 They thought I was brilliant. And then Amber, I did that little dot dot to the side and everything. Amber sat and sang Caledonia.
26:42 Speaker 02 I actually had secondhand embarrassment. I was like, please make this end.
26:48 Speaker 01 Can she sing?
26:49 Speaker 02 No.
26:53 Speaker 02 It's fucking awful.
26:56 Speaker 02 I don't know what I've been waiting for.
27:00 Speaker 01 Oh no.
27:03 Speaker 02 Get the Irish to dance.
27:06 Speaker 01 I can't bear a sing-along. I can't bear it. I can't bear a sing-along.
27:09 Speaker 02 Absolutely desperate. I cannot stand. I don't even like going to live music in pubs because it's too small. I don't mind a big gig, but like a pub where you have to sit and listen. Like, you know, there's, yeah, it's a bit much for me anyway.
27:26 Speaker 01 Jo, we've come to the end of the podcast. We said you'd do the goodbye. Are you ready?
27:30 Speaker 02 Yeah, I'm ready. Yeah.
27:30 Speaker 01 Let's count you in. Have you cleared your throat? Have you done your voice exercises?
27:36 Speaker 01 Okay, I'm gonna count you back. Five, four, three, two, one, you're live.
27:42 Speaker 02 That was the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me. It'll be back on Friday, like it always is, except when they're on holiday. If you'd like to send an email, you can. Do it to [email protected] . Make sure you're subscribed, that's important. Buy tour tickets from Joanne and books from Vogue. Bye bye. Jesus Christ.
28:04 Speaker 01 Jo, sorry, just, it's not lo, it's hello, just.
28:08 Speaker 02 There is an H there, yeah.
28:10 Speaker 01 Hello. Remember, we're not from the West Country or wherever.
28:14 Speaker 02 Incredibly impressed. Thank you.
28:16 Speaker 01 That's really good, Jo. Well done. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.
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