MTGM EXTRA! "Give them their reality back..."

Text fighting... Don't do it. That's just one of the lessons this week... Plus, Twitter isn't the place for trying out humour and a listener has wise words about whether or not you should tell somebody if their partner is cheating. Tickets for Joanne's tour Pinotphile are now LIVE: www.joannemcnally.com Vogue's Book Tour: www.fane.co.uk/vogue-williams If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] Please review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/ For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.

• 0:02Speaker 00

  This is a Global Player original podcast.

• 0:10Speaker 01

  Hello.

• 0:11Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 0:12Speaker 03

  Oh no. We've crashed.

• 0:14Speaker 01

  By the way, sorry, before we start, can I please...

• 0:17Speaker 02

  We broke.

• 0:18Speaker 01

  Can I please plug my European tour and my Ireland and UK tour? I've dates, I've dates to sell.

• 0:23Speaker 02

  No, you can't, no.

• 0:24Speaker 01

  I've pork, Dublin, London.

• 0:25Speaker 02

  No, I said no.

• 0:26Speaker 01

  Bournemouth, Berlin. I have a second Lisbon, I have a second Amsterdam.

• 0:36Speaker 01

  Vogue, Vogue, stop, stop it.

• 0:39Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm sick, I'm sick.

• 0:41Speaker 03

  That's what I'm breathing.

• 0:43Speaker 02

  I've, I, I, I'm on an inhaler, I'm very unwell. I know I'm very Darth Vader, but yeah.

• 0:49Speaker 01

  The noise, I thought I'd left the windows open, it's like, hold on. I actually have to turn you down.

• 0:56Speaker 02

  I'm sorry, well, I'll sit back from the mic, I'll sit back.

• 0:59Speaker 01

  You're like, you're like a Victorian child, sick with the consumption.

• 1:02Speaker 02

  It's really, honestly, it's really bad. At the wedding, I couldn't, on the Saturday, I couldn't open my, and look at the size of my mouth. Obviously, I could still fit food in, size of it, but I actually could only half open it because all my sinuses and all my top jaw and stuff were just, I was in bits.

• 1:17Speaker 01

  Your top jaw, what was, what was going on with the bottom jaw?

• 1:20Speaker 02

  The bottom jaw was just fine. I could get that down to let the food in, you know.

• 1:25Speaker 01

  Wow, let the trap door open.

• 1:27Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:28Speaker 01

  For the treats. God, you sound now, you sound awful, I'll be honest, yeah.

• 1:33Speaker 02

  Thank you very much.

• 1:35Speaker 01

  So what does the inhaler do, what does the, are you like, are you, is that like, is this kind of, are you asthmatic now, is what I'm asking?

• 1:43Speaker 02

  I'm not asthmatic, but I have to say, when I do use the inhaler, I make sure people are around. I'm not just using that in private, like. Yeah, like I want people to know how unwell I am and how I'm really getting through this alone and not really complaining very much. So thanks for asking. I might actually get it for a video, Joe, if you wouldn't mind waiting.

• 2:01Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, yeah, we'll get a little clip of that, mate.

• 2:03Speaker 01

  I can see you parking the SUV in the disabled spots and all, making a big deal of the inhaler.

• 2:08Speaker 02

  I do that anyway, hello.

• 2:10Speaker 01

  Looking for your, looking for your parking permit. You're like pumping the inhaler in. You're like, I'm clearly not well.

• 2:17Speaker 03

  Before anybody sends in some angry messages, she does not park in the disabled.

• 2:21Speaker 02

  No, I never do. I'm too much of a rule follower. I don't. And I get annoyed with people when I see them parking in the parent bay when they don't have a child with them. Cause I don't even do it when I don't have a kid with me, I don't park in the parent bay.

• 2:31Speaker 01

  Parent bay now, I mean.

• 2:34Speaker 02

  If I see you in a parent bay, you're dead.

• 2:37Speaker 01

  Very much depends on my mood. If there's no one around, I'm gonna, I, I, I, look, I don't drive either, so I'm not a threat to the parking spots. I've, the licence never came back my way. But I remember my dad, before he passed away, was in a wheelchair, so we had like a permit and everything. So we were very much involved in the disabled parking community. And my mother, if she saw anyone rocking around one of those spots with.

• 3:01Speaker 02

  No.

• 3:01Speaker 01

  Without the paperwork, she was, she was up rattling on the window, taking down red plates. Yeah, yeah. She was all over.

• 3:09Speaker 02

  For how many years after his death were you using the parking pass?

• 3:13Speaker 01

  I still use it to this day, folk.

• 3:16Speaker 01

  That's when I took my licence.

• 3:19Speaker 02

  My dad also had one. I thought, he's left me that in the will. Thank you, dad. Thank you, father. We're joking again. We don't park in disabled fates.

• 3:26Speaker 03

  Fun jokes.

• 3:27Speaker 01

  Fun jokes. Is it fun?

• 3:29Speaker 03

  Oh, let's move on.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  Not all disabilities are visible. I remember I did a tweet once about, back when I used to kind of tweet, which I've given up on now, cause it's literally just not worth it.

• 3:41Speaker 02

  It's too mean on there. I gotta stay away. It's too mean.

• 3:44Speaker 01

  It's also like, you can't really take the piss on there. At least with Instagram, you're only really in the feed of people who choose to have you in their feed. Twitter, you're, you're everywhere, kind of really. You can kind of spread quite quickly. And I've, I've had a couple of run ins on Twitter and it's just like, it's just not worth the hassle.

• 4:00Speaker 02

  Drunk Joanne on Twitter doesn't work. Drunk Joanne on Instagram works very well. It's like chef's kiss.

• 4:06Speaker 01

  That's, that's more workable, I would say. There's less fallout from that. But yeah, a couple of, a couple of glasses of wine. And when I used to hit the Twitter, there was. Yeah. Well, we won't, we let's not rehash issues from the past, but wasn't, wasn't the smoothest of evenings. There was a couple of, a couple of big run ins on there.

• 4:25Speaker 02

  Real big ones, yeah.

• 4:27Speaker 01

  Do you remember that?

• 4:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:30Speaker 02

  Do you know what though? It was like, cause, cause you get to a point of taking shit, so you get to the point, you're like, you, you just, it, it just flips then and you're like, oh no, I'm not taking this shit anymore. And you're actually dead right.

• 4:41Speaker 01

  I snap, but I don't, I actually don't anymore, but I used to snap if someone was really going in on me because I'd get defensive and like, as you know, I don't like confrontation, but if I feel like there's an injustice happening, I used to weigh in. I no longer weigh in. I'm like, I'm like, what did I say? I'm, um, what's your man's name, the guy I love? Keanu Reeves.

• 5:01Speaker 02

  You, you wish you were like Keanu Reeves. Get lost. He's one of those, he's really different.

• 5:07Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, his philosophy is like, if you think it's red and it's blue, think it's red, I'm not getting involved. That's my new philosophy. But sorry, I'm dragging this story out terribly.

• 5:19Speaker 01

  Oh yeah. I was in Dublin Airport and we were all queuing for the security. Everyone's got liquids, you know, sandwiches, alcohol. We're all, we're all the problem and.

• 5:30Speaker 02

  They do change the rules a lot. You just never really know what's going to be on the day. You know, you just got to keep asking because sometimes it's liquid, sometimes it's not liquids.

• 5:38Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's a very stressful environment. It's a very stressful environment and they're screaming at you. Dublin Airport's actually, I think, grand in that regard. They're, they're, they're kind of calm, but in the American airports, you're like, dude, I like, fucking, I don't have a hand, it's a laptop. Chill, chill out. Just very stressful.

• 5:57Speaker 02

  They hold all the cards though. Dublin Airport are very kind, very nice and moves very quickly. I've been in a situation though, remember that time? In the airport in London, I won't say which one, and I was literally just like, oh my God, like how it escalated. It was really a bizarre, but you can't do anything. Cause they know you can miss your flight. Anyway, continue.

• 6:16Speaker 01

  It can, they can be bis.

• 6:19Speaker 01

  I'm not gonna say ****. Well, I did, I just.

• 6:23Speaker 03

  You did, didn't you?

• 6:24Speaker 01

  Yeah. They can, they can. I've seen some very strange, very aggressive interactions with people who, yeah, but do you imagine, can you imagine how annoying it must be for airport security to all day for whatever their nine hour shift, whatever their working day is, to be like, are you taking the piss? We haven't had liquids in our bags. How long? 20 years? No, I did.

• 6:49Speaker 03

  Since 9/11.

• 6:50Speaker 01

  We had them back, they came back in the bag and I agree, I have seen altercations at the airport where I'm just like, stop, like, and some people are just being so mean. It's like, I know, everyone has bad days, but I just feel like a little bit of calm. Be a bit more Dublin Airporters. I would say their head is wrecked. I'm in Dublin Airport, we're all here and we've all made heinous mistakes with our hand luggage, full of liquids and hand grenades, whatever, right? There was a woman is wheeled up past us through, okay, so she's just wheeled through. She's got one of those airport drivers, you know, the people who bring in people with the, who need additional assistance. And she's wheeled straight through and she gave me a look and I, in the moment, thought

• 7:35Speaker 01

  the look kind of went, haha, and I thought it was kind of funny. I was like, you know the way your brain would be killing time in your head? And I was like, I'm pretty sure I saw her walking around in departures. Anyway, she goes through and I'm sitting on the plane.

• 7:49Speaker 03

  Oh dear.

• 7:51Speaker 01

  And it starts getting a bit of, you know, anyway, this woman DMs me almost immediately and she's like, Joanne, I would appreciate if you took that down. My mother, blah, blah, blah, not all disabilities are visible, you don't know what's wrong with the one. Anyway, it was taken kind of.

• 8:05Speaker 03

  Badly.

• 8:06Speaker 01

  It wasn't taken badly, it was taken at face value rather than. Satirically, do you know what I mean? So I said, you know, it's not worth it. I just, I just, I just, so I just took it down. And I, since that, there was a couple of things I thought, and I was like, oh, Twitter's too fucking. I stopped tweeting. I was like, it's not really the place for comedy, I don't think. Certainly not the stuff that I'm trying to work out in my head. I'd be like throwing up a premise and I'm like, is there anything in that? Actually Twitter, you kind of need to put up honed crap and shit.

• 8:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 8:34Speaker 01

  Premises are for the clubs, in, in private, do you know what I mean? So I don't really tweet and, and the, and the, the security gates thing was an exact example of that.

• 8:43Speaker 02

  So didn't go down the trees. Well, what I would say is it's, it's kind of like when you're arguing with somebody via text message. And it just blows up into this absolute world war three. And it's only because you're texting, because as if you picked up the phone and just said, hey, this is what I mean by this. La, la, la, la, la. It'd be totally fine. It's anything written down can be, like, it can be taken any way anyone wants it to. It could be taken completely out of context and read a different way in a different kind of tone.

• 9:09Speaker 01

  Also the text fighting, you've too much time to think. You've too much time to really like lean into how hurt you are. And, and you were talking to them, you'd be like, oh, look, it's gone, forget about it. But when you're explaining your hurt, you know, you can get a bit carried away.

• 9:26Speaker 02

  Text fighting is completely stupid and for total losers. And I absolutely love doing it and never will I ever learn my lesson. I'm just ringing someone. I will always text fight first.

• 9:38Speaker 01

  There's a lot, there's a, as I say, too much time for reflection on the text fighting, I think, you know?

• 9:44Speaker 02

  This is how you made me feel because it reversed back to my childhood, actually, when I was three years old. And you brought up those feelings.

• 9:50Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's too, it's too much. You're better off just ringing and getting it out in the, getting it out in the open.

• 9:56Speaker 02

  Wouldn't you love if you take, do you know the advice that you know in your head? And you're like, that, that's great advice. That's fantastic advice. I'm not going to take it on board, but it's fantastic advice. And if I'd only take it on board, it probably would be great for my life going forward, but I refuse to.

• 10:20Speaker 02

  I was doing a research call today for, I'm doing a TV show tomorrow for my book. And they're like, so you and Joanne, you like to give advice on the bonus episode. Who would be better at giving advice? I was like, me, obviously. But then I was like, but obviously neither of us, neither was, I'm the best of a bad bunch.

• 10:37Speaker 01

  Depends on the outcome you're looking for, you know what I mean?

• 10:39Speaker 02

  I'm the best of a bad bunch.

• 10:41Speaker 01

  I'm just sitting here with my finger over a fucker button 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If it's not my life, I'm happy to do it for someone else.

• 10:50Speaker 01

  Kid a fag.

• 10:52Speaker 02

  Okay. Hi, Joanne Boganshow. Love the pod. I have a PSA.

• 10:58Speaker 02

  What does that mean? Sorry, I don't know.

• 11:00Speaker 03

  Public service announcement.

• 11:01Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 11:02Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 11:02Speaker 02

  Very well, wow. Okay, Donald Trump.

• 11:08Speaker 03

  Let's hope not.

• 11:10Speaker 02

  He's always mailing us in on stupid idiots.

• 11:13Speaker 01

  Trump again, Jesus, great. Never takes the advice. It's wasted on.

• 11:17Speaker 02

  Give us a bloody break.

• 11:21Speaker 02

  Every time the topic of cheating comes up on a podcast, I find myself shouting at my phone. So I just had to reach out. I get why, but everyone always says not to tell the person that they are being cheated on. I really do get the sentiment, but the very high chances are that the person knows something is up, but they're being told they are mad and paranoid. I had twins and a four-year-old, and when I finally found proof of the cheating last year, I was absolutely crushed, but weirdly, I was also massively relieved. The reasoning is often that maybe the couple have an agreement, but that's so unlikely. And also, if that's the case, then no harm done.

• 12:02Speaker 02

  Please, girls out there, especially if you have proof, tell the poor person they are being cheated on. Give them a chance of getting away. It's likely they are already living in hell and have been gaslit to shit. Give them their reality back. We had three kids, under five, a mortgage and a whole life together. It's too hard to walk away from that based on a hunch, so they need to be told the facts. I know you guys do comedy and this email isn't funny, so, but I'm usually hilarious, I promise. And since I've found proof and have a valid reason to leave, I'm getting my spark back. Please spread the word. Telling is almost always the right call.

• 12:44Speaker 02

  Cheaters rely on people keeping quiet. It's seriously time to change that bullshit culture.

• 12:50Speaker 01

  But I like, I like the line where she says, give people their reality back. I think that's a powerful lesson. However, you also don't know, like, sometimes you're like, am I gonna really get involved in someone else's drama? Like then, what if they decide to stay with the person anyway? And then they're embarrassed because they know that you know, and I don't know, there's so many levels to it.

• 13:13Speaker 02

  There is a lot of levels to it, but like, for instance, like, I, I would want to know. Like, I have been with people and in the past, relationships, quite serious relationships, and I was cheated on. And no one told me, but a lot of people I knew knew. And that really pissed me off when, when, when it was over, broke up over different things. But like, just the, just the, like, like the ridiculousness of it. And I felt really stupid then because it was like four people or something, like, not an insignificant number of people. And also, they could be, you don't know what they're doing when they're sleeping with other people. And then they're coming back and sleeping with you. And it's just like, it's, it's, it's, it's dangerous for your health. It's embarrassing when someone doesn't tell you.

• 13:55Speaker 02

  And it actually, that really pissed me off because I found out so long after we broke up that I was like. And also this bullshit of, of like, oh, well, they might be in, in an open relationship. That's a reality now. People are cranking things open. Wouldn't be for me now. I just think that if someone's in an open relationship, they're open about being in an open relationship. They're not closed about being in an open relationship. You know if they are. Do you know what I mean?

• 14:19Speaker 01

  That's not necessary. I don't know if that's true. I know, well, one couple. Well, I suppose I know, so I suppose I'm proving your point to be correct. But it's not in their bio. Some people, it's in their bio. They're, they're very good to identify with the polyamory. Vibes.

• 14:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:33Speaker 01

  But some people are just kind of discreetly.

• 14:35Speaker 02

  I think you know when someone's, yeah, I think you know when someone's being a snake or not though. If someone's being snaky and cheating and like, but I also like, it just fascinates me because it's like, what's the point? Is it, is it just because you want to have your cake and eat it? Or like, what is?

• 14:48Speaker 01

  Sexual, sexual diversity. It's like sex, sex, like you know yourself in long-term relationships. Well, you're actually very blasted in your long-term relationship.

• 14:58Speaker 02

  I think that in one sense, you're very correct. It would be good to give those people the power. And a lot of them are being gaslit and that's the worst thing. I actually, I actually, years ago though, when it happened to me, I didn't even, I didn't even know. I didn't even consider it. That was the worst part. I was like, you absolute idiot.

• 15:14Speaker 01

  That's why I always think if you have suspicions, the chances are you're correct. Because sometimes people are cheating and you're not even aware. But then there's also, we cannot ignore the level of delusion that goes on. And I speak for myself when I say, I saw, I've been cheated on like countless times, mostly by the same person. But when I had suspicions, I didn't want it to be true. So when he denied it, I wanted to believe him, but my gut was like screaming. But I, like, I remember coming home from Edinburgh once, I was away for the fringe. And like, I've probably told this story before. I was living with them at the time and like my, all my stuff was in the wardrobe. Like he cleared away all my side tables and everything.

• 15:56Speaker 01

  And there was a full blown hair in the bed, like a long black hair. And that was not, it didn't belong to either of us. And I honestly, I did all this mental gymnastics because I just didn't want to believe it. Because I was mad about it and I was like, oh, I just didn't want to believe it.

• 16:10Speaker 02

  Lazy bastard, couldn't even change the sheets. You lazy cheating bastard.

• 16:16Speaker 01

  He didn't change the sheets because there was.

• 16:18Speaker 02

  Disgusting. I didn't even think of that. You sicko, sick.

• 16:22Speaker 01

  So funny, you go for the hygiene aspect.

• 16:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:26Speaker 01

  Yeah. I'm like the cell crushing humiliation.

• 16:31Speaker 01

  She didn't even think about it. I was probably napping in her body juices and didn't even think about it.

• 16:37Speaker 01

  I was just so, just did not, didn't, did not want it to be true. So when he was like, and he didn't even go, he didn't even go that hard to deny. He's like, it's not true. And I was like.

• 16:45Speaker 02

  I know, but how would you, that's the thing. So sometimes I always feel like even with somebody, right? If they were to cheat and like, they didn't tell their partner, but like, it was so out of character or something for them and they'd never do it again. Like, is there a point in telling that person and hurting them when you know?

• 17:00Speaker 01

  See, this is the thing. The dilemma rolls on. It's, I think it all has to be taken on a case by case basis. You also, if you're gonna tell someone that their partner's cheating on them, you'd wanna have some pretty hardcore receipts because.

• 17:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:13Speaker 01

  I'd say a lot of the time, the person's like, that's not true. Are they, or they'll say it to their partner, their partner will deny it, and then you look crazy and they'll kind of stick it on you and, I don't know.

• 17:22Speaker 02

  And also be, you're putting yourself in the firing line as well. Like, for instance, when I sleep with Kevin Costner, like, I'm probably not gonna tell Sven about it. It just will hurt his feelings and it was an accident.

• 17:33Speaker 01

  It was an accident.

• 17:34Speaker 02

  You know, it was an accident.

• 17:36Speaker 01

  You just fell into it. You're allowed a Viagra.

• 17:39Speaker 02

  Joanne dusted him and I thought, I'll, I'll have that. Dusted him. Threw him to dust.

• 17:47Speaker 01

  Oh, it's a part of it, yeah.

• 17:49Speaker 02

  We're very sorry to hear that that happened to you because, I mean, that's a very difficult situation considering you've got three kids under five as well. What a fucking R S Y P is.

• 17:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:59Speaker 02

  I haven't used that word in years, but it's, it's essential for this, for that man.

• 18:03Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, I, you know me now, I'm very cynical about the whole thing. I don't know why. I was actually thinking about this last night. Had a couple of drinks last night on it, cause I was working at the weekend. And when I have a couple of drinks, sometimes I get a bit, you know, I'll take, I'll take pen to paper and have some thoughts. And I was like, why?

• 18:21Speaker 02

  Were you journaling?

• 18:22Speaker 01

  I, I wouldn't use that term, but I guess technically, I just don't see the point in journaling. Cause I'm like, anything I write down, I'm like, why am I wasting time writing my own thoughts? I should be writing stuff for stand-up or, you know, creative projects. But I did kind of go, Joanne, you really need to get over this whole, oh, man cheat thing. Cause it's not true. And like, the last guy didn't cheat on you at all. So like, why are you so hung up about this? You need to really, it's time to move on. Then I downloaded Hinge and swiped a bit and then lost all faith in humanity again.

• 18:53Speaker 02

  I do think, I do think that it's, I, I, I don't think gold energy, so I definitely don't.

• 18:57Speaker 01

  They're not. I don't know where I'm going with that. I just have these very dramatic moments. Although I will say, it's the ones you don't think, and it's the ones you do think. So technically, that is everyone.

• 19:10Speaker 01

  I'm back, I've gone back around, I've come back to my original thought, yeah. All of them do it, for God's sake.

• 19:15Speaker 02

  All of them are at it, yeah.

• 19:20Speaker 01

  Were you getting tagged in as many clips of the Eurovision presenters as I was?

• 19:26Speaker 02

  Oh, look, watch. I can do it. A shamrock, a shamrock tongue, which is what we were being tagged in.

• 19:33Speaker 01

  So Vogue, just for our listeners, because that's all we have, Vogue just curled her tongue.

• 19:40Speaker 02

  No, I did not curl my tongue. I made it into a shamrock. You try and make a shamrock?

• 19:44Speaker 01

  Is that not the same thing?

• 19:44Speaker 02

  No, it's not.

• 19:46Speaker 01

  The Eurovision was on at the weekend, the Gay Olympics, as they're called, and there was, it was the Swiss were hosting it, and there was two presenters, two female presenters, and they, I even, I was like, I have to give it to them. It did look like, it did resemble myself in Vogue.

• 20:04Speaker 02

  It definitely did, it did.

• 20:05Speaker 01

  It did. There was one of them where it was quite, she kind of looked like me and she kind of dra, she wasn't, she was dressed like that kind of, you know, street lesbian style that I like to engage. But some people did say, they were like, spit to you, and they said the other one spit to Vogue, except she has, the one on the telly had a fine rack on her, which is not something you display. But that was the only discrepancy in the whole thing, and they were quite like us.

• 20:31Speaker 02

  Obviously no one's seen me in my padded bra that I had on over the weekend, so, sorry.

• 20:36Speaker 01

  And they could both curl their tongue. Now, I cannot curl my tongue, and that is genetic. I am malformed.

• 20:43Speaker 02

  It's not curling. Yeah, I know, but you're taking away from what I'm actually doing. You're making it sound like nothing. I'm creating a shamrock with my tongue, which is an even more special talent. It's my, it's my party trick.

• 20:55Speaker 01

  I think that's all, when you can curl your tongue, that's the only shape it goes into, because the two women on the Eurovision also had their tongue.

• 21:01Speaker 02

  That's curling your tongue.

• 21:03Speaker 01

  Oh, well, they did what you were doing.

• 21:04Speaker 02

  Look at you.

• 21:05Speaker 01

  I can't curl my tongue and I have no earlobes. I'm basically a Neanderthal. I don't know what's more evolved. I'm guessing you. I don't know, it's got like, is it more evolved, or maybe it's less evolved because you can still kind of lick out a lion, whereas that's very much a throwback to Joe's gone.

• 21:25Speaker 02

  Lick out a lion.

• 21:28Speaker 01

  Is it cave, like what's the evolutionary function of you being able to curl your tongue? That's, I think that's what I'm trying to ask. Is it to lick out animals? Is it to, is it, is it, is it to dislodge berries in small, in small places?

• 21:44Speaker 02

  I would say it's more about like a pomegranate fruit, you scumbag. You don't have to talk about licking out lions.

• 21:49Speaker 01

  I'm just thinking back to cave times, which is, and they did do, there was a lot of bestiality back in the day. A lot of bestiality.

• 21:57Speaker 02

  Who told you there was bestiality back in the day? Who told you that?

• 22:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's like, it's, it's all the cave drawings and stuff that they found.

• 22:05Speaker 02

  Well, having sex with animals.

• 22:06Speaker 01

  There was a lot of bestiality going on. You had people riding horses and all that, like olden day animals.

• 22:12Speaker 02

  Olden day animals. Just go, oh god, grin. This is taking a really, we were just trying to have a nice email.

• 22:20Speaker 01

  I was spoken about this before. The first cave they ever found, there was a drawing above the cave and it was either, Jo, you can fact check this for me. It was either a woman going down a lion or a lion going down a woman. I can't remember.

• 22:32Speaker 02

  Maybe the lion was just eating the woman, as in eating her.

• 22:36Speaker 01

  No, no. Zephilia, it's a much cuter name of bestiality, isn't it?

• 22:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:41Speaker 01

  If I had to identify as one, I would, I would, I would definitely, if I had to put one in my bio, I'd go Zephilia. Would you vote?

• 22:49Speaker 02

  Oh, much more than Zephilia. What was that thing that you once said about a horse that like just turned into this massive big conversation that you had decided, would you rather?

• 22:59Speaker 01

  Shag a horse or eat a horse, yeah. Like if you're, basically, if you're willing to eat the meat of an animal, do you not think that animal would rather get like ridden in the traditional Irish sense than eaten?

• 23:10Speaker 02

  I'd rather kill a.

• 23:11Speaker 01

  It threw a cat amongst the pigeons, didn't it?

• 23:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I don't know.

• 23:14Speaker 03

  That's shocking this many years later.

• 23:16Speaker 02

  It is, it is.

• 23:17Speaker 01

  I'll have to feedback. That's a little cliffhanger there.

• 23:21Speaker 03

  Is there any chance it was a dream?

• 23:23Speaker 01

  No, I'm sure.

• 23:25Speaker 02

  You can find us the cave drawing now, Joanna. If there's anything that we know you could do, you can deep dive and find us the cave drawing.

• 23:30Speaker 01

  Cave woman goes down on lion.

• 23:33Speaker 01

  Look, I'll dig it out.

• 23:34Speaker 02

  There's nothing I'd like to see more than that girl's internet history. I'd love to see Jemaine McNally's internet history.

• 23:42Speaker 01

  I'll have to dig it out.

• 23:43Speaker 02

  Particularly the late night ones.

• 23:44Speaker 01

  It's not coming up. It's obviously not high on the search engine, but I'll dig it out.

• 23:49Speaker 02

  It will be after tonight.

• 23:51Speaker 01

  I think it was her, I think it was the lion going down on her. I'm pretty sure that was the situation. Yeah.

• 23:57Speaker 02

  Well, we waited for days of breath.

• 23:59Speaker 01

  Different times, you know, different times.

• 24:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 24:02Speaker 01

  You know, not for us now, but you know, different times. They had no internet back then. They had a lot of time to kill. If we didn't have Netflix, we'd probably get licked out by lions also vogue in the evening, wouldn't we?

• 24:13Speaker 02

  Do you know what? Actually, that is exactly what I would be doing. How did you know? How did you know that?

• 24:19Speaker 01

  I'd see out in the common legs, the kitten bow.

• 24:24Speaker 01

  Just waiting for some poor unfortunate animal to pop.

• 24:35Speaker 01

  Winston with all bear by vogue, stuck in.

• 24:37Speaker 02

  Well, everybody, thank you so much for listening to.

• 24:44Speaker 02

  I found a dog for you, Joanna. I've been sending it to everyone and no one will take her. She's a dash end. She's up for grabs.

• 24:51Speaker 01

  Are you serious?

• 24:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, her owners, right, gave her up after six years because they were, they were working away from home too much. It's like, okay, give it to a friend or something. Don't just put your dog in a shelter. Will I send you her? I'll send you the thing. She sounds amazing. She's gorgeous as well.

• 25:06Speaker 01

  Grace Campbell opened one of my shows at the weekend and she had her little dog with her. And I was eating chicken out of the packet, as is my right, you know, getting the protein because I'm 42 now. And I didn't notice, but the dog was like just kind of staring up at me drooling. And Grace was like, here, we give her a bit of chicken. I was like, yeah, of course. Sorry, I didn't even notice. But Grace was saying she was in the hairdressers one time. There was a woman beside her eating a pack of chicken and the dog was doing the same thing. And Grace said to her, would you mind just give, would you mind giving my dog a little bit of chicken? And everyone said, no.

• 25:34Speaker 01

  Turned down giving a bit of chicken to a puppy. What monster?

• 25:40Speaker 02

  Not my dogs, they just don't.

• 25:42Speaker 01

  She said no, she said, I imagine, no. And swiveled back towards the mirror. I mean.

• 25:47Speaker 02

  Jesus Christ. What kind of, what kind of worlds are we living in? Shocking.

• 25:56Speaker 01

  I have a, um, a delivery here from Harper Collins and I think it's a copy of Big Mouth.

• 26:00Speaker 02

  The 22nd, my book is out. Big Mouth is out tomorrow.

• 26:03Speaker 01

  She's a author.

• 26:05Speaker 02

  She's a.

• 26:08Speaker 01

  She's turned off all her Google alerts.

• 26:11Speaker 01

  She's officially an author now. Yeah, look, I'm, oh, look.

• 26:14Speaker 02

  She's gonna be getting, she's gonna be getting a few legal letters.

• 26:20Speaker 02

  Now you have to read it.

• 26:21Speaker 01

  I'm always so surprised when I read people's memoirs and they see, I'm like, how did this pass legal? They're literally, they're literally naming and shaming people. It's crazy.

• 26:32Speaker 02

  Just maybe don't read the chapter about you, yeah? I said to Legal that you wouldn't mind.

• 26:38Speaker 01

  See how many chapter I'll read, I'm telling you. I put my Google alerts on. Can't wait.

• 26:45Speaker 02

  Everyone, thank you so much for listening. That was the bonus episode and we will see you for the main on Friday.

• 26:56Speaker 04

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