Pod Insights My Therapist Ghosted Me Facelifts, Resharing & Doing More Things About this episode It's important to 'do' things. Get out there! DO things. That's how Vogue & Joanne feel anyway. Plus, the inspiration that is Nora Ephron, manifesting positive outcomes and some news from Joanne.
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This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.
Transcript 0:02 Speaker 00 This is a Global Player original podcast.
0:15 Speaker 01 Hello and welcome to my therapist goes with me with me, Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally, whose hair looks like you've just been to the hairdressers.
0:23 Speaker 02 I just had a curly blow dry. Don't mind me. You can sense the confidence off me. Morale is high.
0:30 Speaker 01 Morale is high. I'd know that smile from anywhere. I don't know where you're taking yourself to later, but I'd love to be going.
0:36 Speaker 02 This is it. This is it now.
0:39 Speaker 01 Where are you off to?
0:40 Speaker 02 This is the...
0:42 Speaker 01 I've nowhere to go with the bouncy blow.
0:45 Speaker 02 You, you, you know me well, Fidge. I have nowhere to go.
0:49 Speaker 03 A bouncy blow and nowhere to go.
0:51 Speaker 02 A bouncy blow and nowhere to go. Is there anything sadder than a woman sitting in her window, looking at everyone, living their lives outside and I've nowhere to go. I'm trying this new, do you know Campo? It's like a, they're specifically for, you know the way I'm starting the regain?
1:05 Speaker 01 Oh, shampoo, shampoo, the, the hair regrowth thing.
1:10 Speaker 02 Shampoo.
1:11 Speaker 01 Heard about that.
1:11 Speaker 02 I'm kind of in cahoots with them. Not in an official way, but they're, they're, I'm trialling their, it's hair, they have a lot of hair thinning products and I'm on a hair journey. So they gave me the blow dry. Isn't it great? Look at me.
1:23 Speaker 01 It is, you do. It really makes a difference. Mine is, mine is...
1:27 Speaker 02 Such a difference.
1:28 Speaker 01 I know somebody who gets a blow dry every week just for themselves. And I think, do you know what? It's good on you. You should do that. You should look in the mirror and say, I think I'm deadly.
1:35 Speaker 02 I went out with a guy, his mother got a curly blow dry every Thursday. And I was like, and I was like, you look fab. It stays. If you get, if you get a, like this one, I can tell now, your man Thomas who did it, like he's, he's hardcore. He's good. I could, I'd get it. I'd get a week out of this, especially now that I've kind of abandoned the fitness.
1:53 Speaker 01 I can't remember if we were going back on a fitness journey. I forget the journeys. Now you're on a hair journey and that's all that matters. You can't be on those journeys. It's one or the other.
2:02 Speaker 02 I only have so much adventure in me and at the moment, the adventure is specifically for hair. So I don't sweat anymore. So basically I could get, I could get a month out of this.
2:10 Speaker 01 I know and I don't, I'm not showing off. I'm not showing off, Joanne, but I don't really sweat very much. I don't sweat very much.
2:16 Speaker 02 You're lucky because you are all fitness. Like if you did sweat, you'd just be a mess.
2:21 Speaker 01 Now, I did have a bit of underboob sweat earlier and I thought those, that collagen's working. Cause I haven't had that before. It's working. Someone even mailed me today and they said, wow, the sunflower seeds are working, but they didn't know I was wearing my big bra, but still.
2:35 Speaker 02 Maybe we could, maybe we could do like a monthly update on the sunflower seeds. What do you reckon?
2:39 Speaker 01 I thought you'd never ask. That's actually perfect for me. I'd love to do that. We'll just.
2:43 Speaker 02 Well, at the moment you're doing a weekly one. So maybe we could.
2:47 Speaker 01 Okay. Sorry. I'm excited about my new breasts.
2:49 Speaker 02 Maybe we could wait for some real results, Vogue. Okay. Same with my hair journey. They're like, you have to calm down. You're not going to get instant results. So maybe in a month's time, you give us, you give us a measurement of the new buds and I'll give a measurement of my new follicles. How about that?
3:02 Speaker 01 Okay. I think that we should do it once a month because you hypocrite, you are a hypocrite. You are living in a glass house and you're throwing stones because you've been talking about your hair journey quite a lot.
3:14 Speaker 02 I'm limiting the two of us. I'm saving us both from appeasing ourselves into an early grave. A monthly update, I think is a stunning idea.
3:21 Speaker 03 We could weigh them in a month.
3:22 Speaker 01 Wear our hair, wear our tits.
3:24 Speaker 02 The problem is my journey is real. Yours is a conspiracy theory.
3:28 Speaker 01 Do you know what? You are not, that's not nice now.
3:32 Speaker 02 It's great that you believe in sunflower seeds for your tits. It's more believable than God. So I'm, I'm glad we've moved on from religion.
3:40 Speaker 01 Joanne, I think I believe in God as well. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Listen, I'll just stop now. I'll stop.
3:45 Speaker 02 Let's, let's focus on the seeds for a while.
3:47 Speaker 01 Right. Would you like my new hairpiece? Do you want to ask me where I was?
3:50 Speaker 02 Love it. Vogue is wearing a, is it a carnation?
3:54 Speaker 03 I was going to say carnation.
3:55 Speaker 01 They don't do them in red carnations. I thought, oh.
3:58 Speaker 02 They do.
3:59 Speaker 01 Well, I don't like carnations, so I thought it was something else. I might take it out now.
4:03 Speaker 02 Jo and I are uncultured pavos. So with the only flower we know is a carnation.
4:07 Speaker 03 And roses.
4:07 Speaker 02 Yeah.
4:08 Speaker 01 And roses. And dandelions. You guys like dandelions, don't you?
4:13 Speaker 02 Love a da- and a buttercup.
4:15 Speaker 01 And a Daisy. You pick them up anywhere.
4:18 Speaker 02 I'm more a wildflower gal.
4:20 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah, yeah, I see where you're going there. I think this, to me, looks like a rhododendrum, I'm gonna assume.
4:24 Speaker 02 Oh, excuse you. A rhododendrum?
4:29 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm. We have a lot of rhododendrons in Hoth.
4:31 Speaker 02 Wow. Someone's been to school.
4:37 Speaker 02 Someone's been raiding the nature table.
4:40 Speaker 01 Well, you might ask why, why I'm wearing the rhododendron. Go on, ask, ask me.
4:46 Speaker 02 Folks, come here, riddle me this. Why is it that you're wearing a rhododendrum?
4:51 Speaker 01 Do you know what? If the listeners see this as a video and it's not a rhododendrum.
4:56 Speaker 02 Oh, do you? Have we not got confirmation?
4:59 Speaker 01 Oh, no, I'm just guessing because it sounded fancy.
5:02 Speaker 02 I'd put my left tit on the fact it's not a rhododendrum, just going from our previous.
5:07 Speaker 01 Can we not reverse Google's image into the AIs?
5:10 Speaker 03 Yeah, just turn your head there a minute, I'll just.
5:12 Speaker 02 Turn your head, Jo will do.
5:13 Speaker 01 Do you know what? I only downloaded ChatGPT the other day because everyone thought that I was stupid, that I didn't have it.
5:18 Speaker 03 Oh, she's ever so good.
5:18 Speaker 01 Kind of shit. It's not, is it shit? Firstly, it's very much a male, no? Quite manipulative. Could be a peeny, you never know. It's peeny season, isn't it?
5:30 Speaker 02 What the hell is a peeny?
5:32 Speaker 01 Oh, like your one from Gossip Girl, I used to love peonies.
5:35 Speaker 02 Stick it into the internet there, Jo. Let it crunch its numbers. What's she wearing?
5:40 Speaker 03 It doesn't say exactly what the flower is, but there's lots of links for AliExpress.
5:50 Speaker 01 Strong possibility.
5:52 Speaker 02 Is it fake? No, is it real or fake?
5:54 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's, no, it's fake. It's fake. Someone gave it to me and I was like, this girl, this lovely lady invited me to the flower show, the Chelsea Flower Show. And for the last four years, I've been threatening to go. And every time I drive by, I live it in walking distance to it. I'm like, I'm gonna go. I'm going this year. And I never go. And lo and behold, the fifth year, I said, no, I'm really going this year. I'm really gonna go. I wanna see what it's all about. And it was actually very pleasant.
6:21 Speaker 02 Talk us through it, folk. Talk us through it.
6:23 Speaker 01 Well, I arrived, because I went with a lovely brand, they sent me a car. And I arrived and I got in the car and I plugged my phone in the charger and I looked at it and I said, I'm gonna forget you. And then I picked it up again halfway through the journey and I said, no, I'm gonna forget you. And then I got out of the car and I realised I'd forgotten my phone.
6:40 Speaker 02 Do you see what you did? You manifested, you spoke it into existence, the forgetting. Apparently the key is to say, remember your phone, remember your phone. You don't say, I'm going to forget, because then you talk yourself into forgetting. That's what I've heard on the manifestation websites.
6:56 Speaker 01 Okay, I am not a huge manifestator.
6:59 Speaker 02 Oh, neither am I. I cruise the websites anonymously.
7:04 Speaker 01 So you're telling me that I manifested a bad thing instead of manifesting a Range Rover?
7:09 Speaker 02 Yeah, I did it only recently when I was flying back to Dublin. I took my backpack off on the train.
7:16 Speaker 01 A whole backpack.
7:18 Speaker 02 A whole backpack, two straps off, stripped. And put it under the seat and I looked at it and then more than yourself, folk, I said, I'm gonna forget that.
7:27 Speaker 01 Oh, no.
7:28 Speaker 02 Off I popped into departures and I was queuing to, and I was like, where's my passport?
7:34 Speaker 01 Oh, my god.
7:36 Speaker 02 My passport, my laptop, my cards, my jewellery, my journal, that I pretend is a joke book, but it's my actual feelings.
7:45 Speaker 01 Oh, my god. Did you get it back?
7:47 Speaker 02 I documented, I did. I couldn't believe it. I rang Lauren straight away. She's like, what am I supposed to do about this? I was like, Lauren! Then went back to the customer care and your man, the customer care train line, and your man at the desk was like, oh, this'll be difficult now, this is gonna be a tough one, but I'll try. And then he rang the train and your man was like, yeah, I have it.
8:10 Speaker 02 Easy, easy. But I had to go and collect it then in some random train station, obviously missed the flight, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, what I'm saying is, shared experience, I told myself to forget the bag, like you told yourself to forget your phone.
8:22 Speaker 01 Okay, okay. Right, well, fine. I hope I don't see a Range Rover in my parking spot with the keys in it for me. I hope I don't see a Range Rover in my parking spot.
8:31 Speaker 02 There you go.
8:31 Speaker 01 With the keys for me.
8:33 Speaker 02 Yeah.
8:33 Speaker 01 A black one, I meant to say.
8:35 Speaker 02 Yeah.
8:36 Speaker 01 With leather interiors, maybe we'll go for a red seat, I don't know.
8:40 Speaker 02 When you went to the flower show, was it like, was it like one of those big floral walls like influencers have at their weddings?
8:45 Speaker 01 No.
8:48 Speaker 02 Oh, what is it?
8:49 Speaker 01 I used to always, I used to want one in my interiors before. Do you ever see those fake garden walls though? They're actually quite cool. It was, it was basically you go in, you can, there's, there's hundreds and hundreds of stalls of really cool brands. And you can go shopping, there's a place that you go and have lunch, there's a place that you can go for cocktails. There's all gorgeous drinks areas. It's kind of like in Ireland, if you do, what's that festival? Ivy Gardens, where they do like the taste of Dublin. And like those kind of festivals, but way more brands and stuff. And then they had gardens that you could go and look at, like what you could do at your balcony, what you could do if you have a big garden. And I, it was, I, do you know what? It was what, what it said it was. It was the Chelsea Flower Show with additional bits.
9:32 Speaker 02 It's middle aged fun. I love it. I'm always looking for something new to do. I'll go for it.
9:37 Speaker 01 Are you though? Are you though? Because I just feel like for me, I'm like, I've, I've lived in London for probably 12 years now. Actually, I'd have to stop for a minute and count and I'm not doing that right now. But I've lived here for so long and I'm like, I really, I really want to go to the flower show. So eventually I did the flower show after five years. Next on my list, I want to go swimming in the Hampstead Heath pond.
9:57 Speaker 02 Yes.
9:59 Speaker 01 And then I'm going to go to Primrose Hill and just look for Harry Styles and also see a bit of Primrose Hill.
10:06 Speaker 02 I might even look at Big Ben at some stage, you know? It's when you live around the place, you just don't care. Do you know what I mean? Like we could be living underneath the Eiffel Tower, but if we were living there, we probably wouldn't even look at us.
10:18 Speaker 01 No, it's like when you're in Ireland, like when was the last time you went to Kerry? Kerry's gorgeous. I want to go to Kerry. I wanted to start doing bits and bobs. I want to go to the Lake District.
10:27 Speaker 02 It's wasted on us. I was at home in Dublin, I didn't even rub the tits of Molly Malone. That's how spoilt we are. It's just like nothing to us.
10:34 Speaker 01 I know.
10:41 Speaker 02 I'm finally back on the road on my new tour of Phoenix, I'm thrilled. We've got tickets for Belfast, we've got tickets for the Gleneagle INEC Arena, Bournemouth, Yeovil, of course, Cork Opera House, we've got loads of tickets for Dublin, we've got London tickets. Anyway, you know the deal, you know where the tickets are. I hope to see you then. Speaking of Harry Styles.
11:04 Speaker 02 I was doing, I was doing a research for a podcast I was doing about books and I was, anyway, I was. One of my favourite books.
11:11 Speaker 01 You better have had my book at the top of your list, honestly. You've mentioned my book in a whole book podcast, I will remember.
11:17 Speaker 02 It was the three books that have got me to where I am in my life. And so far, I've only read your intro. However, next time I'm doing it, fully included. One of my favourite books is Harper and by Nora Ephron, which is great if you're going through a breakup. But anyway, so I was, I was kind of reminding myself about the book. And Nora Ephron, like, well, she's, she never went away, but she kind of comes and goes. And she's very popular and a lot of female writers kind of, you know, list her as their inspiration. And one of the stories around, I was watching a lot of Nora Ephron interviews, it kind of went down Nora Ephron hull. And she wrote like When Harry Met Sally and You've Got Mail and stuff. But anyway, one of the stories came out that, so Nora Ephron also loved cooking. And she, she, she made Julie and Julie, wasn't that the?
12:01 Speaker 01 Oh, I love that, Julie and Julia, I love that movie.
12:04 Speaker 02 Julie and Julia.
12:05 Speaker 01 You made that movie?
12:06 Speaker 02 Yeah, she wrote that film, yeah. And so she's big into food and she's big into cooking herself. And Harper and was written about, and it was autobiographical. Basically, when Nora Ephron was pregnant with her second child, her husband left her for one of her friends.
12:20 Speaker 01 Oh, Christ, ouch.
12:21 Speaker 02 Yeah.
12:21 Speaker 01 Jesus.
12:22 Speaker 02 Grim, brutal, awful. And she describes her one as having a neck as long as an arm, a nose the size of a thumb and splayed feet. It's so beautifully petty, it'd be right up your alley, Vogue.
12:36 Speaker 01 That kind of sounds like she's describing me.
12:39 Speaker 02 It actually does. There's a bang of you off it, for sure.
12:45 Speaker 01 Who is this woman?
12:46 Speaker 02 I think this is very familiar.
12:51 Speaker 02 But she's kind of an institution. You know the term, like we throw around iconic, but no, she genuinely is iconic. But anyway, you know Olivia Wilde and you know she had that very public affair with Harry Styles.
13:05 Speaker 01 Allegedly.
13:06 Speaker 02 Allegedly.
13:08 Speaker 01 Now, I just, I'm not, I don't remember it ever being an affair, but maybe, oh, actually no, because they made that movie together. And then that's when they suppose, okay, yes, sorry.
13:18 Speaker 02 There's always a bit of crossover. You know yourself. Something, you know, and maybe the marriage is dead in the water, but they need, like, they wait for a reason to jump, etc. There's always a bit of crossover. And that gives the person that they're leaving the high horse, if you know what I mean. Because then it's like they did the bad thing, even though the marriage was probably in the bin anyway. But the cleaner, housekeeper, whatever job title she had, sold this story and said that Olivia Wilde's husband walked in on her making a salad dressing. And he said, oh, who's that for? And she said, it's for Harry Styles. And her husband was like, no. Because he knew then she was up to something with Harry. Because she, that's a real gesture of love, isn't it? Like making something for somebody. It's quite love.
14:02 Speaker 01 Intimate.
14:03 Speaker 02 Like you're not.
14:03 Speaker 01 There's a lot of effort that's gone in.
14:05 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah. It's a lot of, it's a lot of effort. So then the husband ran out and apparently threw himself under her car, under the wheels of the car. Yeah. So that she couldn't leave, so she wouldn't drive and give the salad dressing to Harry Styles. Allegedly.
14:20 Speaker 01 I mean, this all sounds very far fetched to me.
14:25 Speaker 02 I actually think the opposite. I'm like, you couldn't make that shit up. That definitely happened. Like, 100%.
14:31 Speaker 01 I don't think someone's gonna lose their shit over a salad. I'm not throwing myself under a car for salad dressing. I need to see sexual intercourse.
14:40 Speaker 02 Okay.
14:42 Speaker 01 Okay.
14:42 Speaker 02 You folk, you've made your position very clear.
14:45 Speaker 01 Well, I'm not hopping under a car for salad dressing.
14:47 Speaker 02 I, I can understand how it got to that point. He's like, he's the, she's cracked, her husband is cracked. He's broken. He's doing that mad thing.
14:56 Speaker 01 So gorgeous as well.
14:58 Speaker 02 He's doing that mad thing. He knows he's being rejected. He knows he's being left for Harry Styles. He knows, he knows his wife is now in love with Harry Styles and working with him on the daily and clearly having an affair. So he goes out, splayed himself, like your one's feet, underneath his wife's car so she can't drive to work. And so when this story came out, it was, it came out, it kind of hit the press and then it was taken back down. I'm sure they were threatening to sue everyone. But then Olivia put out a statement with the, with the recipe of the salad dressing she made and it's the salad dressing from Nora Ephron's book, Heartburn, which is about an affair, which people thought was like a nod to, well, basically the writing of Nora Ephron and also admitting she was having an affair. That's a very long-winded route around. I just thought it was a nice, it was just a fun story.
15:43 Speaker 01 It was just a link to Harry Styles.
15:45 Speaker 02 No, though.
15:45 Speaker 01 I'm happy to hear any, all I heard was Harry Styles, I'm sorry.
15:48 Speaker 02 No, it's about Nora Ephron.
15:50 Speaker 01 I thought there was a book recommendation in there somewhere, but all I heard was Harry Styles.
15:55 Speaker 02 Can you please throw a bit of water on your vagina for half an hour?
16:00 Speaker 01 Will you just give me 10 minutes and I'll come back? Give me 10 minutes.
16:03 Speaker 02 Can you just go and, and, and.
16:05 Speaker 01 I just want.
16:06 Speaker 02 Can you plunge yourself, please?
16:10 Speaker 02 No, no, no, that's not what I meant. I meant in your ice bath and just plunge yourself down.
16:14 Speaker 01 I don't go in there anymore. I gave it up. I gave up the ice bath and I gave up the salads.
16:18 Speaker 02 I think you need to go back.
16:20 Speaker 01 I'm not, I don't want to do the ice bath and I'm not having a salad anymore because a salad is not a meal. I don't want it. It's not a meal. I don't, I'm never, I'm never satisfied. I'm growing up. I'm nearly 40. I'm not having it anymore. I'm not having it.
16:37 Speaker 02 One of my favourite viral videos is, and I don't know if I, maybe you will remember, I'm sure you do remember, because sometimes women on Insta, they send me clips of stuff that I've kind of forgotten existed. And do you remember the video of the Aussie in a pool on her holidays? And someone from the hotel came over to say she couldn't drink in the pool. And she went mental.
17:02 Speaker 01 No.
17:04 Speaker 02 Ah.
17:05 Speaker 01 Why did she go mental?
17:07 Speaker 02 She's, she's obviously, she's all for tits. She's locked.
17:10 Speaker 01 Oh, God.
17:11 Speaker 02 On her holidays. What, you're making a scene? And she just goes rasher to your one. And then she's like, then she starts kind of paddling out to the middle of the pool so they can't get her. And like, the staff are being really calm and stuff. But she's just, like, she's lost, right? I don't know. She could be on something, I don't know. She, she seems like she's just locked. But she's like white wine crazy bitch drunk. And then she notices people are looking at her and filming her. And she's like, yeah, look at this [BLEEP]. Check this out. And she does, and it's just really, really funny. Because it's like, you know, 'tis the season, holidays, pool vibes. Anyway, so I was gonna reshare it. And I had this moment, I was like, hold on a second. Would she want that reshared
17:55 Speaker 02 now? Like, even if something goes viral, I don't know where this conscience has come from. I've started taking mushroom powder in the morning. I think it might be that.
18:06 Speaker 01 Are you on the dirty?
18:09 Speaker 02 What's it called?
18:10 Speaker 01 Dirty. A really nice packaging. Yeah.
18:15 Speaker 02 Did you notice that? Did you notice I'm kind of more whimsical and at peace?
18:20 Speaker 01 Well, you've got a few crystals floating around the place as well. So I thought maybe it had something to do with them.
18:24 Speaker 02 Oh, they're not crystals.
18:25 Speaker 01 I'm really, I've been really taken off guard with this whole conversation. I'm like, taking it back about glass. I'm like, who's, I don't know that girl. Who is she?
18:34 Speaker 02 It's the mushrooms in the mornings. But so I was like, then I reshared the video and I was like, I actually feel really bad about this. I feel bad about this. And I was like, what, at what point is it okay to share viral videos? Like, they're viral. So like, me sharing them has no impact on the virality or anything like that. Like, the job is done. But is it mean? And do you remember when Hasselhoff, David Hasselhoff's daughter took a video of me eating a hamburger off the ground?
19:01 Speaker 01 That was desperate.
19:03 Speaker 02 And then she reshared that. Now, it maybe that's not mean because he's a celebrity, so people think he deserves it or whatever. Anyway, I was asking people about it and they're like, if it's a celebrity, it's fine. If it's not a celebrity, it's not fine.
19:14 Speaker 01 Well, that's not true because I follow things like, like I follow drunk people doing things and like our influencers in the wild or people are sending stuff in. And I guess, like, okay, yes, morally, it probably is wrong if people are really embarrassing themselves and stuff like that. But if you're embarrassing yourself and it's not something like, like you're showing off like their naked body parts or something like that, I guess it's so like, people think it's okay to do. But like, let's say I get papped on the beach. A pab takes my picture. If I see that pab picture and I post that pab picture, that paparazzi can then contact me, tell me to take it down, or he'll sue me. Even though that's a picture of me that he's taken, it's his property and I can't put it up.
19:57 Speaker 02 Oh, interesting. I didn't know that.
19:59 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's kind of mad. Sorry, sometimes on the off occasion, there's a night and I'm like, I'd love to post that, but I don't want to get sued.
20:06 Speaker 02 But I guess what he's doing there is he's like, that's my work. So you're resharing it. And if you want to reshare it, you have to pay me. He's basically, he's probably saying you can buy it off me if you want. So he's just, he's just making sure that it all stays commercial and above board. He's like, I want the money. If you're going to use it, I want the money. Whereas this woman in the pool.
20:26 Speaker 01 Yeah, but, but also, I don't necessarily want him taking a picture of me on the beach. I don't want that. But he's doing that. There's nothing I can do to stop that. Even when I ask him to stop, he doesn't stop. So.
20:36 Speaker 02 It's crazy. It's such an invasion.
20:39 Speaker 01 I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying.
20:41 Speaker 02 But thank God, you have a great ass.
20:43 Speaker 01 Thank you. Oh, remember now, remember it looked like when I had my finger down, one of my handles was walking, it looked like a little willy.
20:49 Speaker 02 I do. That was a highlight for us. Yeah.
20:53 Speaker 01 You are welcome.
20:54 Speaker 02 Me and Jo, me and Jo celebrate that every year privately, don't we?
20:58 Speaker 03 Yeah, we clubbed together and we paid the paparazzi for it. We own that picture.
21:11 Speaker 01 I heard if you have a can of Coke, this obviously is bullshit, that you lose 11 minutes of your life. And I'm like, don't care. I love it.
21:18 Speaker 02 You'd be fucking delighted. You work too much anyway.
21:23 Speaker 01 Do you ever follow this fellow, Jamie East? He's very, very funny. I've spoken about him on the pod before. And he posts kind of cra- oh, you have to. He's hilarious. And he posts kind of like crazy stuff like that. And I'm like, and it is kind of embarrassing things, but I guess it's just, it's a viral. You cannot remove anything from the internet. It's just there.
21:41 Speaker 02 I just felt suddenly bad. I was like, what is this feeling? I feel guilty. I don't know why. What's happened? What's shifted culturally that now I feel guilty? Cause like two years ago, I wouldn't have thought twice about it. I think because the moment has been and gone and I was rehashing my viral moment for a couple of years ago. Cause I just loved it so much. Do you remember the one who fell asleep in the bush at Cheltenham?
22:02 Speaker 01 No. Oh, God.
22:04 Speaker 02 There was a photo went viral, maybe a couple of months ago about a woman who fell asleep. She was napping in a bush in Cheltenham.
22:12 Speaker 02 And obviously the paps got hold of us and the photo, the photo went viral. And so I then was like, oh, I feel bad. Like I'm not resharing this. I feel bad about it. But then I went into where the photo had been originally shared and she's in the comments.
22:27 Speaker 01 Stop.
22:28 Speaker 02 Taking bows and she's like, what? She like really owned us. She was thrilled, which I thought was, I was like, okay. Well, if she's delighted with it, that's fine then. I just didn't want to be. Cause she's a, she's a sleeping woman in a bush. You're like, is this okay to share? Probably not really. But if she says it's okay, then it's okay.
22:46 Speaker 01 If she says it's okay, it's okay. But also I just think that things live in the internet. Did you hear about that Swedish mother who, um, She got fined two grand in damages because she did this TikTok trend with her toddler daughter and cracked an egg on the child's head. And basically, they decided that the act was degrading and reckless. And she put it up online and it went everywhere and it was embarrassing for the child. And she got fined two grand for it.
23:14 Speaker 02 Is this the video? Because I remember that whole egg cracking on your kid trend. And I did think it was, I was like, oh.
23:21 Speaker 01 I don't remember that. I wouldn't do that. I'm very careful about what I post. I think you can't post embarrassing, like, if one of them was crying or something, like, I'd never post something like that or, like, prank them. It's just like, or that one, do you remember this family pretended the daughter was invisible? And they all did, but like, for days, they pretended like the nine-year-old daughter was invisible and filmed it. And I'm like, that's not funny.
23:45 Speaker 02 That's, sorry, that's like, what are we, hazing kid? You're hazing your kids for likes. It's fucking weird, man. But I do remember the egg cracking thing. And a couple of kids had negative reactions, as you would. If Pat cracked an egg on my head, even now as a grown woman, I'd be like, what are you doing? And one of the kids looked really upset and she was kind of teary about it. And her, and the mother and the mother's friend are laughing. And I said, this just feels off. I don't know. It just feels off.
24:15 Speaker 01 Although two grand, you could crack an egg on my head for two grand. I'll sue you. Would you like that?
24:22 Speaker 02 Sorry, can we talk about Kris Jenner's new face?
24:25 Speaker 01 Oh my, oh my God. Actually, sorry. Hang on. I haven't told you the most important part of the wedding. Now, obviously, everybody, this is like, whatever you choose to do, we're not saying to do it or whatever like that. But I'm very interested in plastic surgery. I just am. I love, I've done TV shows on it. I find it really interesting.
24:45 Speaker 02 So the right.
24:46 Speaker 01 I'm S, the number one plastic surgeon in LA.
24:51 Speaker 02 Surgeon?
24:51 Speaker 01 Where is he?
24:52 Speaker 02 Surgeon?
24:53 Speaker 01 Yes. And he was showing me loads of stuff. He was showing, I sat with him as I was eating my wedding cake. He was like, are you squirmish? I was like, nope. And he was showing me everything and it actually made me not one bit scared. I saw a full skull, full skull. I was like, oh my God, he does every, I was like, what do you do? And he was like, I do everything for everyone. And I followed on Insta and it's just, he was so fascinating about the whole thing. And about like, cause you know, everyone's getting their eyelids and everything done like that.
25:25 Speaker 02 Yeah, the blefs, everyone's getting their eyelids, the fat off their eyes. No, no, sorry. The skin off their eyes and jacked it into their tits. I don't know what's happening.
25:35 Speaker 01 Well, because he said to me, right, because I swear to God, my family have heavy eyes. We have heavy, like, like this, right? And some of my family were able to get stuff on, on the, on healthcare because it actually affected their vision. So I was like, do I need that done? And he was like, no, you don't need that done. And he was like, the thing about that blef stuff is that everyone's getting it done. And they're doing it when they don't need it and they don't look good after it then. So there's a warning.
25:59 Speaker 02 Yeah, I think that's a good warning. Cause I'm, remember I was saying last, because you can get your blef, the, the fat around your eyes sliced off. And I was like, put it into my earlobes. Cause remember I said I had no earlobes? So the day I rock up with a full earlobe, you'll be like, oh, okay. I see. That's where she's been gone for three weeks.
26:19 Speaker 01 I never noticed that you have no earlobe. But Kris Jenner.
26:25 Speaker 02 It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. Joe, have you seen her? It's insane.
26:32 Speaker 01 She looks magnificent. Her, Lindsay Lohan, Emma Stone, Emma Stone and Anne Hathaway.
26:41 Speaker 02 Kris Jenner now looks like Kim.
26:43 Speaker 03 Yeah.
26:44 Speaker 02 I mean, it's, it's, it's, I'm gonna say it. It's problematic, but it's also amazing. It's problemagic.
26:54 Speaker 01 It's not, it's not attainable. Cause this guy, his name is Dr. Raddy.
26:59 Speaker 02 Joe, you like problematic, didn't you?
27:01 Speaker 03 Really nice, mate.
27:02 Speaker 02 Yeah.
27:05 Speaker 02 Thanks, dude.
27:07 Speaker 01 He told me that it was 250 grand, up to 250 grand for a facelift. Like, that's a lot of money.
27:16 Speaker 02 It is. But then I told you the lads, my friends are going to a place called Faceland.
27:21 Speaker 01 What?
27:22 Speaker 02 Yeah.
27:23 Speaker 01 No.
27:23 Speaker 02 Please, God, no.
27:25 Speaker 01 That sounds like.
27:26 Speaker 02 Yeah.
27:26 Speaker 01 Is it in Turkey?
27:28 Speaker 02 No, it's somewhere, I think it's, I think it's Belgium, actually.
27:32 Speaker 01 I definitely don't want to go to FaceLand.
27:33 Speaker 02 They're like, oh, it's dirt cheap and you're in and you're out. And I was like, that is not, that's, that's, that sounds good for getting your nails done, not your eyes.
27:42 Speaker 01 No, and you see people who get their teeth done and they're all completely piled down. Like, I broke my front tooth when I was younger, so I have a veneer on the front tooth. And if I took the veneer off, you'd say, oh, God, her tooth's a bit grey, but it's still a full tooth. And people who get them done in Turkey and they've got these little stoves coming out of their teeth. It's awful. Christ.
28:01 Speaker 02 I couldn't sleep at night now and I had little sticks underneath my, underneath my veneer.
28:04 Speaker 01 God, no, they're good. I.
28:06 Speaker 02 I don't want to, I don't want to get in trouble, but maybe FaceLand is a really reputable company, but then Kylie, who's my tour manager.
28:14 Speaker 01 A bad name.
28:15 Speaker 02 FaceLand.
28:17 Speaker 01 I mean, I don't know, maybe it translates nicer in, in Belgium, we just don't know.
28:22 Speaker 02 No, it's called FaceLand.
28:24 Speaker 01 FaceLand in Belgium? Oh, my God, yes, it is called.
28:26 Speaker 02 The facelifts are getting creepily, scarily good. Now, these are the high-end facelifts. These are not.
28:33 Speaker 01 These are the 250 granders.
28:35 Speaker 02 These are the A-list celeb facelifts. Everything always trickles down, so maybe by the time we're looking at getting our faces lifted back on, we will be able to get something like that in FaceLand.
28:50 Speaker 01 I, I just think, I always was hoping that, like, we could, we wouldn't have to get, like, we could just do it with lasers, if they just laser up your face, so you don't have to worry about anything and there's no pain. And I wanted to tell you about this story that I read. Also, I was nearly, I was nearly going to say to you to do a Blake Lively, um, deep dive again, but I just don't know how I feel about it because it just all feels, feels really mean now.
29:17 Speaker 02 Oh, is there an update? I get, I've kind of lost interest in it, which is terrible.
29:24 Speaker 01 I mean, because it's going on for so long and there's always loads of updates. But supposedly Taylor Swift has cut off her friendship from Blake Lively because of the whole thing, because Blake Lively supposedly sent her a text telling her that she had to support her in this, or she was going to leak all of the messages that she had sent her over the years.
29:44 Speaker 02 I don't believe that for a second. I just don't. If you're best mates with someone, you don't behave like that. That's one of those stories where, now, I'll tell you this, I fully believe that Taylor Swift has pulled back from Blake Lively. Like, if you were caught up in some massive, if we were globally, if we had a, if we had a global platform, if we were fa- super famous, if everyone had a lobotomy and decided that we could be as famous as Blake Lively and Taylor Swift, and then you dragged me into some weird scandal, I'd be like, all right, listen, I'm gonna have to pull back for a bit. I want no part in this drama, remember? I'm Keanu Reeves. But I certainly would never be like, I wouldn't, I wouldn't be like, I'm gonna leak all the tech. Like, that's insane. You don't know, behaves like that.
30:29 Speaker 01 Well, that's, that's the update in the case right now. And I just, I don't know, it's, it's feeling a bit, it's feeling a bit mean towards, it's just feeling, like, I can't imagine, I, I know that Blake Lively, she could or couldn't be wrong, Justin Baldonado, he could or couldn't be wrong, but I also think that, like, the amount of abuse that they must be getting, like, how do you deal with that?
30:47 Speaker 02 It's too much.
30:48 Speaker 01 It's too much.
30:49 Speaker 02 Like Katy Perry, like Katy Perry, it's too much. Do you notice when the, like, the narrative turns on a celebrity and then just doesn't stop? It's relentless. So during the week, there was a story about Katy Perry's Vegas residency, like, being an absolute failure and that she's kind of let it all, she's let everyone down, she's lost loads of money. And I was like, it just becomes, it's almost like bots then at some point, they're just beating her like a dead horse, god love her.
31:40 Speaker 04 Still haven't started? Hey, better late than ever. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pickup fees may apply.
31:52 Speaker 01 A fizzy drink in a fancy squiggly glass with a glass straw. Who am I? I'm just like I'm at the Cotswolds.
31:58 Speaker 02 You at the Cot... You've really changed, honestly.
32:07 Speaker 01 I was at a wedding at the weekend. I was in France.
32:10 Speaker 02 It looked amazing.
32:11 Speaker 01 Oh my God. So Svenny and I, before we got married, we were doing our little registry office wedding in his parents' place in Scotland. And then we were going to get married in this place in France. It's amazing. And I went and I was like, God, thank God we didn't. We would have embarrassed ourselves because there were... It was like the nicest wedding I've ever seen in my entire life. Like, that's how nice it was. It was... Do you know what happened to me, though? I got excited. I got excited on the Friday. There was a lot. There was a margarita bar. And I got excited.
32:45 Speaker 02 Oh dear.
32:46 Speaker 01 Yeah, the next day, you know? It was like...
32:51 Speaker 01 I was like, I woke up and I was like, oh, I really... I remembered the last bit of the night, but I definitely didn't remember getting into the hotel room. And I woke up and I was just kind of looking at Sven, like, you know, and you're like,
33:03 Speaker 01 quite nervous. But then I went and as I went up to the wedding party, lots of people were like, oh, how's the head? And I was like, oh, no.
33:10 Speaker 02 That's never, that's never good.
33:13 Speaker 01 I was an absolute saint on the Saturday, though. Saint on the second day, but like, I just was like, why'd I have to? What were they thinking with a margarita bar? It was the only thing that brought them down because it brought me down. So it brought the wedding down.
33:24 Speaker 02 They're your weakness. They're your kryptonite. Margaritas are your k... I feel like you're at this point kind of raising awareness for margaritas.
33:31 Speaker 01 I am. I should bring out my own, like, margarita mix.
33:35 Speaker 02 Basically, we're the only idiots that don't have a drinks line.
33:37 Speaker 01 I told you years ago that you should have had, like, a gin brand or a... But supposedly now, it's not the cool thing to do anymore to have a drinks line.
33:49 Speaker 02 They're all still doing it, though. Although I will be sad when I'm doing my collabs from the Betty Ford.
33:58 Speaker 02 I've news.
33:59 Speaker 01 Go on.
33:59 Speaker 02 I know you'll support this, because I'm always trying to get out a bit more.
34:04 Speaker 01 Okay.
34:05 Speaker 02 I have secured a ticket. I bought a resale ticket for Glastonbury.
34:11 Speaker 01 Oh. I wouldn't get excited, Jo. She's not going.
34:17 Speaker 03 Sounds like she is.
34:19 Speaker 01 Jo, do you want to go to Glastonbury? Because she's got a ticket. She is... I have never... I'm just saying, there is no way that girl's going to Glastonbury.
34:32 Speaker 02 How dare you.
34:33 Speaker 03 Are we not going to run this narrative for a month and then sort of pay it off with her not going?
34:38 Speaker 01 She'll miss her flight to Glastonbury or something. She'll be like, no, I had to get a plane to Somerset.
34:46 Speaker 02 I am going. I've paid for the tent and everything.
34:51 Speaker 01 Tent. She thinks she's staying... She thinks she's staying the night?
34:55 Speaker 02 Yeah, I'm staying for the whole nights, all the nights.
34:59 Speaker 01 Okay, so you're telling me, right, let me just get this straight. You have bought a ticket for the whole time from Wednesday to Monday, yeah? And you're staying in a tent. What kind of tent? A fancy tent?
35:10 Speaker 02 A bell tent. Yeah, one of the ones that there's like a bed in it.
35:16 Speaker 01 I mean, I would... I'd love this for you, because I'm not going this year, so I think that one of us should be there. But like, I hope you're just being honest with yourself about what's going to happen.
35:26 Speaker 02 I am. But what I'll do is, I was like, I'll report back. One of us needs to be on the ground at important events. So we can discuss and dissect and unpack. I'm going.
35:36 Speaker 01 She loves live music, Jo. She loves being around loads of people. She loves not being comfortable in her own home. Look at that fancy glass you have there. Forget it. You won't have anything like that in Glastonbury. I'll be like, I'm sorry, I'm looking for a glass straw.
35:57 Speaker 01 That pin is knuckle.
36:00 Speaker 02 Me and Ross are going. I kind of wangled my way in via, one of his friends was selling his ticket. And Ross was like, my friend Ross, who does a lot of my social stuff with me. And he was like, don't think about it, just do it, just do it. So I was like, okay, it's fair I was 80. I was like, I need to get out more, I need to get out more. And I do tend to just lean into work on weekends, whatever. Anyway, so I'm coming back from Europe and then I get the, and then I go to tour Europe and then I go to Glasgow. And then coming back on the Sunday, cause then we Wimbledon on the Tuesday.
36:31 Speaker 01 I, yeah, we're going to Wimbledon, we're going to Wimbledon.
36:33 Speaker 02 Me and Vogue had a conversation and we were like, we need to get out and about.
36:38 Speaker 01 We don't do anything, like we go for walks and stuff, but we, we need to do stuff.
36:42 Speaker 02 Yeah, we need to do stuff, okay?
36:45 Speaker 01 We're going to the Brits next year. We're going to the Brits next year. We've no tickets, but we're going.
36:50 Speaker 02 I thought it was the BAFTAs, what are we going to?
36:51 Speaker 01 The Brits. We wanna go to the Burberry show.
36:54 Speaker 02 We don't need them, Vogue. It's not even raining.
36:57 Speaker 01 Do you know what? You're dead right.
36:58 Speaker 02 We're going to more events together and the reality of the situation is, I'm quite lazy. Vogue is a little less lazy than me, but also quite socially lazy.
37:07 Speaker 01 Yep.
37:08 Speaker 02 But Vogue gets invited to fun things and I wanna go and it's time to turn my life around. And I'm doing it on Vogue's invitations.
37:16 Speaker 01 And hence why I was at the Flower Show today. I thought, no, get up off your arse. Cause I was gonna come home and watch another episode of Yellow Sun and I said, no.
37:25 Speaker 02 No.
37:25 Speaker 01 Go out. You can do that when you're 85.
37:28 Speaker 02 Well, you can also garden when you're 85, but yeah.
37:30 Speaker 01 Yeah, and I'm learning my bits. I'm learning the trait. I was learning the trait. I can't believe if you went to, now I have to be honest with you, Joanne, it's very full on. It's very, very, very full on. A lot, a lot of people, there's a lot of people.
37:46 Speaker 02 Yeah, I'm gonna see if I can get some sort of isolation tank to set up out the back of the tent. Look, Ross was saying, because Ross was trying to groom me into going, he's trying to seduce me, he's like, "Look, it'll be really chill, you know, we'll go to the healing fields and, you know, we'll watch the sun come up at that Stonehenge place that they have and we'll do yoga." And I held his hand and I said, "Ross, I've already bought the ticket. There's no way in hell you're gonna catch me in the healing fields."
38:12 Speaker 01 You'll see Stonehenge on the way. I've seen Stonehenge, you do see it on the way. You just look out the window.
38:17 Speaker 02 Just get a selfie as I spin past. I said, "If I'm going, I'm going. I'm going all in. I'm not, I'm not gonna be in the healing fields."
38:23 Speaker 01 Oh my gosh.
38:24 Speaker 03 And you think you're going to be at Wimbledon the day after.
38:26 Speaker 01 On Tuesday. That's gonna be interesting.
38:29 Speaker 02 Yeah, I'm playing the main court.
38:32 Speaker 01 She doesn't even know what the main, what's the main court called, John? What's the main court?
38:36 Speaker 02 Is it not called the main court?
38:37 Speaker 01 No.
38:39 Speaker 02 Why, what's it called?
38:40 Speaker 01 Centre court.
38:41 Speaker 02 Oh, why, why complicate things? It's the main one. I'm going there.
38:51 Speaker 02 That's it for this week. Thanks so much for listening. I'm Dwan McNally going to Glastonbury and that's Vogue Williams.
38:56 Speaker 01 So, John, I know that you've got my book, but everybody, my book is finally out. It's there. Big Mouth is out. And there you go, that's all I have to say about that.
39:04 Speaker 02 Congratulations, Vogue.
39:06 Speaker 01 Thank you very much. I'm very, I'm very happy.
39:07 Speaker 02 It's amazing news. Yeah, it's such an achievement.
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