MTGM EXTRA! "Ghosted after HOW long?!"

What's the longest two people have been together before one ghosted the other? This weeks emailer might have a decent claim to the record. Plus, Joanne accuses Vogue of spreading fake news. Tickets for Joanne's tour Pinotphile are now LIVE: www.joannemcnally.com If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] Please review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/ For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:30Speaker 01

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• 1:32Speaker 02

  This is a Global Player original podcast.

• 1:40Speaker 03

  Hello, welcome to the bonus episode of My Carvis Ghosted Me. It is the bonus episode.

• 1:47Speaker 03

  Nice. Is it the bonus?

• 1:51Speaker 03

  Just making sure both of you knew that it was the bonus episode. Good.

• 1:55Speaker 04

  What date does it come out to on?

• 1:56Speaker 03

  Bonus episode comes out on Wednesday, Vogue.

• 1:59Speaker 04

  Oh!

• 2:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:04Speaker 04

  And the main app?

• 2:05Speaker 03

  Comes out on the Friday.

• 2:09Speaker 03

  What our listeners won't know is that we've, that we're recording the hello after we've recorded the podcast and Vogue is, this is, she's exacting revenge for the fact that she doesn't know the email address.

• 2:20Speaker 05

  Yeah, you'll have to wait until the end to see why she wanted revenge.

• 2:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, why she wanted revenge.

• 2:24Speaker 04

  Well, it went down like a sack of shit, so there we go.

• 2:31Speaker 04

  It's hard to keep up with who's a creep these days. Like, are you a creep? Am I not? Are you? Is it okay to say that? You just don't know.

• 2:37Speaker 03

  I have the same strategy or the same philosophy as I do with women and eating disorders. I just, I assume most men are creeps and most women have an eating disorder and then you work back from there.

• 2:46Speaker 04

  Oh, that's a good, I suppose, that's a good starting point.

• 2:49Speaker 03

  That was a joke. That was a joke. I don't believe either of those things. I love men and I don't believe that all women have eating disorders. It's just a joke. Just a little joke. Jokey joke.

• 2:57Speaker 05

  Fun joke.

• 2:57Speaker 03

  Just a fun joke.

• 2:58Speaker 05

  Just for fun.

• 2:59Speaker 03

  Little stereotypical joke.

• 3:00Speaker 04

  You have said way worse on this podcast. I didn't need to preface it with, it's a joke. Now we know, now we know where she draws the line.

• 3:09Speaker 03

  That was right. I know. Well, I don't, I don't think it's fair to accuse all men of being creeps. I actually am a huge fan of men. And, and do you know what? I don't even have to say actually, because they know it. God knows they know it.

• 3:21Speaker 04

  Of course you're a, I'm a big fan of men. I do, I have to say, I do prefer female company.

• 3:26Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 3:27Speaker 04

  I prefer hanging out with girls. I love being around women. But I suppose when I get like, no, there's nothing, no, I just prefer hanging out with women. It's just the way it is. Sorry.

• 3:37Speaker 03

  You're a girly girl. You're a girly wiry. You're a girly wiry girls. I am the same, I would say. My predominantly, I am female focused. But that's why I think we enjoy the company of gay men, because you have that masculine energy in the room. But, you know, they would vomit if they saw your tits.

• 3:58Speaker 04

  What the hell is that?

• 3:59Speaker 03

  Out of fire alarm footage yesterday.

• 4:00Speaker 05

  Right. Now your house is on fire.

• 4:02Speaker 04

  And that's it? You just sleep with that noise going off all the time?

• 4:05Speaker 03

  I've only just gotten back. That's the second time it's happened since I got back. Lauren was here. I don't know what's going on. It just, it's, it's okay. It's every half an hour, so we'll be fine.

• 4:13Speaker 05

  Good.

• 4:13Speaker 04

  Every, it's every half an hour. Well, good luck going to bed tonight. And then for Anna's Joanne, you could probably sleep through most things.

• 4:19Speaker 03

  I could be hugging the thing.

• 4:21Speaker 04

  I have to have, honestly, I got these new earplugs, they're absolutely rotten. They're, they're kind of like wax and I put them in my ears and I can hear nothing. And it is my favourite way to sleep. I might drop the headphones, I don't even need these for the flight anymore. I'm just gonna take those wax earplugs and put them in and I'll just feel like I'm underwater and having a nice time.

• 4:42Speaker 03

  I was listening to Michelle Wolf, who's a comic that I'm a huge fan of. She has a podcast called, I think it's Thought Box and she basically just, she writes, she's a prolific joke writer. And she has this podcast where she just kind of talks about premises of stuff. It's not like really honed stuff, it's just, she had an idea and she just kind of fleshes it out. But she was talking about, and it had never occurred to me really, because as much as I love a long haul, Vogue, you love a long haul, but you love a child free long haul, obviously. But she was talking about, she said, flying with a baby. She's like, it is hell on earth. Then she obviously has to fly because of her job, she's a stand-up, she's on tour. But she's like, you can't, like, the joy of me, like, as in, when you have no kids with you, being able to just zone out, watch a film, blah, blah, blah.

• 5:27Speaker 03

  She's like, you can't, you can't put your headphones in, you can't take your eye off them. She's like, it's absolute hell. She said now, being on stage, working is like the holiday for her. Because outside of that, having the child with her on tour and everything, I'm obviously thinking about this with, you know, I talk about my hypothetical baby. But yeah, you just made me think of that when you're talking about your headphones on the plane. I'm like, maybe because they're a little bit older, you can do that. But I'd say when they were younger, you couldn't, you couldn't zone out, you can't top out your kids sadly.

• 5:54Speaker 04

  I can't fully do it now and Spenny's after playing a total blinder because he had to go back to London today for work, knowing that we're flying tomorrow. He's like, oh, I've totally forgot about this Clean Coast Supper Club. I'm like, oh, did you, did you? I want to see the evidence of it. But when I flew back from Gladiators and I flew into Manchester, then I had to travel an hour and a half to Sheffield. And my mom was like, you must be wrecked. I was like, what? I was like, it feels like I'm on holiday. I know I'm on holiday here, but like, it's like, the three kids are off school the whole time. Like, it's very, like, I think I posted a picture where Gigi was on my back and Astra was on my front. And it's kind of like that all day long here and I love it. And that's what I was so looking forward to.

• 6:38Speaker 04

  But like, now I'm like, okay, I can go, I can go back to work now.

• 6:41Speaker 03

  Would you not have given Spencer?

• 6:42Speaker 04

  For the real holiday.

• 6:44Speaker 03

  Would you not have given Spencer like 1.5 children to kind of split the load and get him to take 1.5 home early?

• 6:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:50Speaker 04

  Well, listen, he offered, he was like, I'll take Shishi. I was like, no, no, no. Auto. If you're taking her.

• 6:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take the problem. Yeah.

• 6:59Speaker 04

  I did send him, I sent him back with all my luggage though. I was like, you've got to take, because it's so many bags to try and take on your own. Because as well, we're over, we're here and we go to Gibraltar. So we have to cross the border in Gibraltar. So we don't get a taxi. You have to drag all the bags across. Like, it's a nightmare. I know. So like, that's why, that's why I'm sitting here and I'm like, oh my God. Why am I so anxious about going home? I think I'm just anxious about like clearing this place up and, and getting, getting across the border. I'm anxious.

• 7:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, I get that. I get, I get that. I was even, I was, I was on back from my seaside break in Margate where I was with my good friend and fellow comic Grace Campbell. And she had with her a teeny tiny dog, her dog called Eddie, who's gorgeous, sweet little thing. But even three days in Margate, I was like, wow. The dog really goes everywhere. Like, there's no leaving the dog. And I've, my biggest wet dream is to own a family of dogs. And I could maybe even birth one myself if I wait long enough for science to catch up with my dreams. But when I saw.

• 8:01Speaker 04

  Thought you were having an alien.

• 8:03Speaker 03

  Who knows what I'm gonna have. It's all to play for.

• 8:06Speaker 04

  Slippery fishy alien.

• 8:07Speaker 03

  Future, the future is bright. AI is here. Who knows what? I could be birthing an Alsatian in six months' time. We do not know. But watching the amount of work that she has to put into that dog, I was like, Jesus Christ, you're kind of putting me off getting a dog.

• 8:21Speaker 04

  I know, but her dog is like her baby. I'm not saying my dogs aren't like my baby, but they're still like, like they don't sleep in my bed or anything like that. Like they can stay at home for a few hours on their own. Like they're gonna be fine and they get walked loads, but they are still dogs.

• 8:35Speaker 03

  She was like, you know, the dog had farted on the train and I was making sure everyone knew it was the dog and Grace was kind of like.

• 8:42Speaker 04

  Oh, everyone knows when it's a dog, by the way. You know that scent.

• 8:46Speaker 03

  Grace was acting like, just like she did, like she, I was like, Grace, we need them to know it's the dog. Yeah. So I was like, it's the dog, guys. It was like an hour and a half train to Margate and you could see people like moving away from us and everything. It was, it was embarrassing, frankly. I wanted to leave Eddie off in William's brothel, wherever we pass it now, but. She's like, no, no, the dog stays.

• 9:05Speaker 04

  It's gonna be, it's gonna be people that knew you on that train and they're like, Jesus Christ, we saw you on like Natalie on the train and she fucking reeks.

• 9:12Speaker 03

  So fu- I was, I was like genuinely kind of like trying to get eye contact to people to point at this little dog in the middle of me and Grace as she fed a chicken and it just all fell on the floor. And I was like, Grace, I, I don't know if dogging is for me.

• 9:26Speaker 03

  That was an accidental slip of the tongue there, but I don't know if dog moming is for me. I've become very, very.

• 9:34Speaker 04

  I would suggest, right, I'm going away. I need someone to help with, with Winston, I was gonna say Winston and Otto, Winston and Bertie. And why don't you have them for a few days and see what you get on?

• 9:45Speaker 03

  Well, the problem is, and I would do that, I genuinely would take them because I do like the company of dogs without there being any real strings attached, which is similar to how I feel about gay men, that's and their friendships. However.

• 9:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:56Speaker 03

  My problem is I've no garden and the idea of running up and down those stairs every time that they need to wet themselves is, it's too much for me. But otherwise I would take them.

• 10:06Speaker 04

  You have a lift, you have a lift.

• 10:07Speaker 03

  Have you seen the lift?

• 10:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, I have. I've been in the lift. A bit scary, but you like the lift. So you can easily take the dogs.

• 10:13Speaker 03

  I'm not taking the dogs, folk. I'll tell you what, move into my house. I'm not there. Move in. But is your family and staff there?

• 10:21Speaker 04

  Spencer, Spencer will be there for some of it, for some of it.

• 10:24Speaker 03

  I'm not gay crashing Spenn, it's free time.

• 10:27Speaker 04

  I went down, there's these blow up water slides. I was, and there's this lovely girl, this Irish girl who was there. She's saying, anyway, I went down these water slides. Holy God, some things in life, I'm like, do you know what? I'm too old for this. There are blow up water slides. I have never had so much water go up my ass and the whole of down there.

• 10:52Speaker 03

  Folk, you, you said this, you told us this before.

• 10:56Speaker 04

  I didn't. It only happened today. I went to the toilet thing because I've got my period and I was like, oh my God, is the tampon gone? But it hadn't gone, but it had flipped the entire way around. So the string was the other way from the water slide.

• 11:12Speaker 03

  What?

• 11:15Speaker 03

  I'm sorry, Vogue, I love and trust you, but I'm gonna have to fact check this story. Like, how wide are you down there that a gush of water can reverse a tampon?

• 11:25Speaker 04

  I, um, honestly, because it was so much water, because you're hurtling down this slide and there was a big puddle at the end of it. It just went roof and I was like, oh my God. And then I was walking around and I was like, something doesn't feel right.

• 11:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think you were roofied at the end of that water slide and you don't know it. And someone did something to you and then put you back, but in the wrong position. Like when, do you know, it's like, because there's just, I'm sorry, there's no amount of water in the world that could reverse a tampon inside you and flip it upside down. Not happening.

• 11:56Speaker 04

  Joanne, I'm afraid that you cannot, you actually, having not experienced it, you cannot judge that. And no, I don't have a giant vagina. Do you remember when I had the electric chair in my home for months? This shit is like swirled it down here and it was a, and it was a regular tampon. Okay.

• 12:14Speaker 03

  Okay, Vogue, I'm just saying you're opening yourself up to photos where it didn't happen. I've never heard, I've never, I've never, like, tampons are hard enough to get out with pure force. Do you know what I mean? That's why they have the string. You have to pull them out. So you're saying the water flipped? What did gladiators do to your body? This is suspicious.

• 12:34Speaker 04

  The water.

• 12:35Speaker 05

  We could get some data on it. There's, there is an email address. If anybody's got any data on this, then do let us know.

• 12:41Speaker 04

  Uh, yeah. Let us know. Has a tampon ever flipped inside you when you went on the water slide?

• 12:47Speaker 03

  Water slide. I think you.

• 12:49Speaker 04

  A blow up water slide.

• 12:51Speaker 03

  I think this was so sort of ayahuasca event and you didn't realise and I think you were unconscious for part of it. I've had situations.

• 12:58Speaker 04

  How desperate are you to go on the water slide now, though? How desperate?

• 13:02Speaker 03

  Not desperate at all.

• 13:05Speaker 03

  I don't need to.

• 13:06Speaker 04

  You might find it to be a very enjoyable experience.

• 13:07Speaker 03

  I don't need to be widened down there. I am perfectly fine with, with my gait. This is gonna, this comes back to your white gay folk.

• 13:17Speaker 04

  My wide gait.

• 13:18Speaker 03

  This comes back to your wide gait. I mean, I've had, and this is where, I know I feel bad for our listeners, but like, I've had situations where I've certainly lost a tampon inside myself. It has gone AWOL and had to be excavated out, but it was still in the same position that it went in in.

• 13:40Speaker 05

  Excavations are powerful, isn't it?

• 13:41Speaker 03

  I think you just put it, my gut says you put it, no, my says you put the tampon in upside down and you forgot.

• 13:47Speaker 04

  I didn't.

• 13:48Speaker 03

  Because you're a secret alcoholic.

• 13:49Speaker 04

  Because I use, because I use the applicator.

• 13:53Speaker 03

  Finally, we can admit it. Thank you, Lou. I was just covering for her. It's her. She's the problem.

• 13:59Speaker 04

  In fairness, now, this is gonna sound bad. I don't know, I wanted to be left in, but when I had had a few drinks, I did put a second tampon in, forgetting about the first time.

• 14:08Speaker 03

  We've all done that.

• 14:09Speaker 04

  And then the next morning, I was like, oh, whoa.

• 14:12Speaker 03

  Oh, we've all done that. Sometimes it's like pulling rabbits out of a hat. You're like, Jesus Christ, how many did I get in there? Oh, yeah, we've all done that.

• 14:21Speaker 04

  Oh, no.

• 14:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, we've all done that. That's where I think they should have a little alarm in them.

• 14:28Speaker 04

  An alarm, but like, maybe to be, I think that they should be like, less, less dangerous. Aren't they, can't you get like toxic shock syndrome?

• 14:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's a real thing. There was a very, she's very famous, well, now, because of what happened to her, but there was a model, I think she's South African or American. I'd have to fact check that, which obviously I won't do, but her parents found her face down on, in the ground, on the ground, in her flat, toxic shock syndrome, both legs amputated. Yeah. Now, I don't know what the stats are. I feel like for the amount of women who are using tampons, that the, maybe it's not that common an occurrence, but I mean, it is a risk for sure.

• 15:05Speaker 05

  Just be careful out there.

• 15:06Speaker 04

  I do, I do.

• 15:06Speaker 03

  Be careful out there.

• 15:08Speaker 04

  Tampons are a dangerous game.

• 15:09Speaker 03

  Jesus.

• 15:10Speaker 04

  But I'd rather, I'd rather that than the alternative.

• 15:12Speaker 03

  Being a woman is a dangerous game.

• 15:40Speaker 06

  Still haven't started? Hey, better late than ever. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pickup fees may apply.

• 15:53Speaker 04

  Girls, I'm not winning much at the moment, so looking to claim a title if it's there for the taking.

• 15:58Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 15:59Speaker 04

  I, I've just been fully, completely, entirely and totally ghosted.

• 16:05Speaker 03

  Love it.

• 16:05Speaker 04

  By my boyfriend of, wait for it.

• 16:08Speaker 03

  No.

• 16:09Speaker 04

  Five and a half years.

• 16:13Speaker 03

  What?

• 16:15Speaker 04

  Uh, I mean.

• 16:17Speaker 03

  I really thought you were gonna say months there. Oh my god.

• 16:23Speaker 04

  I went straight to thinking his mother has done a terrible job, but I can't blame her for that. It's his fault too.

• 16:29Speaker 03

  Oh, I'd say Otto's got a couple of ghostings in him. Let's face it. The stories you're telling about that lad of late.

• 16:38Speaker 04

  He's turned a corner. He's turned a corner. If anything Spain has done, it has turned Otto.

• 16:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, no one can see him anymore. That's a ghosting.

• 16:49Speaker 04

  Okay, this is terrible. If you're a numbers gal, you know, that means we met when the clock struck Covid.

• 16:56Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 16:57Speaker 04

  We aren't, I wouldn't say we're complete numbers girls, but anyway, literally.

• 17:00Speaker 03

  Polar opposite really, but yeah.

• 17:03Speaker 03

  I'm like, so it was the seventies. Carry on.

• 17:07Speaker 04

  Literally three weeks before lockdown was our first date. We got through that, moved in pretty soon because of it, and I've had a great few years, or so I thought.

• 17:19Speaker 04

  The sex probably wasn't the same as it was to start with, but it surely never is five years in.

• 17:24Speaker 03

  Everything changes.

• 17:25Speaker 04

  I've tried my best to think back through any signs, but I honestly don't think there were any. I've had a couple of pretty tough nights, but I'm coming through it now. Sharing it with you is part of my unofficial therapy. So can I start the bidding at five and a half years and see if anyone has been ghosted?

• 17:42Speaker 05

  Sorry, she's had a couple, she says she's had a couple of months of tough nights, not a couple of tough nights.

• 17:47Speaker 03

  I was, I did, I did think, wow, this is a very resilient woman.

• 17:54Speaker 03

  I'd be in an echo chamber on Valium 24/7. Yeah, she's like, I'm over it.

• 17:59Speaker 05

  The weekend was difficult, but I'm all right now.

• 18:01Speaker 04

  Oh my god, I don't even know what.

• 18:04Speaker 03

  Put him over it.

• 18:06Speaker 04

  I don't even know where. I actually think that that's something you're gonna tell people until the day you die, because it's such a shocking. I would like, I'd love more insight into that. Like, what happened? Did he just, did he go home one day and he was just gone?

• 18:22Speaker 03

  I would actually ask for more detail if we can get it from this woman, who was a victim of something, a heinous act of like insensitivity and absolute brutal rudeness.

• 18:35Speaker 04

  Ring his mom and tell her, tell his mom on her.

• 18:40Speaker 03

  It's always.

• 18:40Speaker 04

  I'd tell his mom.

• 18:41Speaker 03

  I'd say, like, look, I've, the mother doesn't, mothers love their sons. That's what I've learned over the years, and they will side with their sons ultimately.

• 18:52Speaker 04

  That is, that is shock, that is dirty shocking behaviour, and he is an absolute pile of shit.

• 18:59Speaker 03

  He's a geebag, but I would need, I would like to have more detail, genuinely. You can contact me privately or via the, via mtgmpod.com.

• 19:07Speaker 04

  Do, yeah, do it via this and we'll, and we'll get back to that one, because that is very interesting.

• 19:12Speaker 03

  That would suggest to me he's having some sort of mental event.

• 19:20Speaker 03

  Like, did he take the furniture? Has he blocked her? Like, what are the details here? Has he, is there someone else involved? Of course there is. Sorry. That's always my take on a show as well, you know, men don't leave to be on their own. Men only jump when there's somewhere to jump to. They're like frogs on lily pads. That's, that's always been the way. Has she heard anything of him since? Has she, how far has she gone to try and contact him? What's the crack?

• 19:44Speaker 04

  Has he just gone, yeah, has he just gone, gone? Now, in fairness, I know this was a terrible thing that happened to you, but I do wish that it had happened to me a couple of times, to be fair.

• 19:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, fair, yeah.

• 19:53Speaker 04

  Imagine going home and they're gone, yes.

• 19:55Speaker 03

  Yeah. Sometimes you're like, a little spooky behaviour on their part would do, would go very far for us, actually. I know. But ultimately, the bottom line is that it's a weakness on his side. Like, it's, it's, it's very cowardly. And like, look, it's

• 20:12Speaker 04

  It's pathetic.

• 20:12Speaker 03

  It is pathetic. That is pathetic, for sure. There are, these are conversations that are very tough to have. And some people literally just don't have the emotional ability to have them. They just do not have them. But rest assured, this will sit, this is a stain on him for the rest of his life. Like, he will remember this as much as you will. And you get to walk away with your head held high and be like, look what this fellow did to me. How embarrassing. And this is, as Nora Orffin's mother said, everything is copy. You'll tell the story and everyone will love the story and lean in and want to hear more. It's a great conversation starter.

• 20:43Speaker 04

  We need, we do need more, we need more. But I do the other email and we'll wait for more of this one for next week. Because I think that that would be really good. If you wouldn't mind sending us the rest in. God, what a wanker, honestly.

• 20:54Speaker 03

  Very strange behaviour.

• 20:56Speaker 04

  Very, just, it is just really odd behaviour, though. It's like, is he having a mental breakdown? Or is he just that much of a dickhead? And it is so pathetic. And as you said, cowardly.

• 21:07Speaker 03

  Immature, I would say. There's no emotional, it's very immature. He just cannot have, he's just not equipped for the conversation. He's just not equipped. He just literally can't do it. He just ran, you know, he just bailed.

• 21:19Speaker 04

  I used to hate breaking up with people, though, it's a death

• 21:21Speaker 03

  Oh, it's horrible, it's awful. But it's just a conversation that has to be had. It's just one of those things in life. You can't bail, you know, unless you're 13.

• 21:29Speaker 04

  You can't just run away.

• 21:30Speaker 03

  Oh, maybe he was 13.

• 21:35Speaker 04

  Was this an Irish college?

• 21:36Speaker 03

  This did happen in the 70s, as far as Vogue, Vogue and our maths has concluded. It was the 70s, so maybe he was 13.

• 21:44Speaker 04

  Okay, here's another one. I would love any of your advice or insight into starting to date after a long-term relationship. Oh, no, this is bad. Long, boring story short, I find myself single after being married for 24 years.

• 21:58Speaker 03

  Very hard, very hard.

• 22:00Speaker 04

  Oh, no, there's good news. As you can imagine, this is all a bit daunting and very new for me, the apps, the putting yourself out there as a 45-year-old. You are so young. The change my body has gone through after having two kids, et cetera.

• 22:13Speaker 03

  Hmm. Yeah. Different beast. Different beast.

• 22:17Speaker 04

  I'm finding it hard to be my usual confident self online. I really wanna lean into my cougar adolescent phase, but don't know where to begin. Thought I would, this is the best thing that I ever did for myself after breaking up with somebody at the age of thirty and thinking that I'd never get my age and I'd never have kids. I was so worried. I thought my life was literally over. I was like a divorced thirty year old. I felt like a fucking loser. And the best thing that I ever did, because I was, I was in relationship after relationship, long term relationships my whole life, and I spent time on my own for the first time. I hated it at the start. And I was like, you know, I actually love this. Each, each, each week it got easier and easier and I was just really, really enjoying

• 22:58Speaker 04

  myself. And by the time I did get into another relationship with Spencer, like I kinda didn't want to be in a relationship because I was enjoying being on my own so much. So I think if you can find a way to start enjoying your own company without having someone to rely on, because when you have a partner of twenty four years, like that's like you're, like you'd never have to go anywhere on your own. You've got that crutch to go to a party, but you just have to try and get over those really hard bits.

• 23:21Speaker 03

  In one way, I think actually when you're with someone that long, you're, you're wired to be in a pair. So you want, you're naturally, you want to jump back into that situation. And I think that for some people, that's the right thing to do. Being on your own, it's hard. I was only thinking about this last week because I'm still writing for Pinafore and like trying to add bits and stuff. And like being on your own, it is, it's fucking hard. And the longer you're on your own, the longer it, or the harder it becomes to get into a relationship again, because you have all your own little weird ways. And I can understand her wanting to get back out there. And also kind of the validation that comes with being attractive or being attracted to somebody and all those flutters and the crushes and all, like it is lovely. But you know what I would say? Apparently

• 24:04Speaker 03

  the dating apps are on the way out. Now, I don't think they're on the way out, but apparently Bumble like over like forty five percent of its staff or something. People aren't using them in the same way. And now it's gone back to this kind of almost vintage nostalgic way of meeting, which is going out. But you know what I started doing? And I never went because that's what I do. But I did book and then cancel almost immediately. But I will go back to them. There's these, I don't know where this woman is based. She, do we know where she's based? Because this is a London thing. Anyway, there's these new ways of meeting people where you book a table, you add your, you add your name to the list in your local area and they book a table for five people through this app. There's no romantic expectations. It's

• 24:47Speaker 03

  just five strangers and you answer a questionnaire beforehand about like your interests and your hobbies and things like that. And then they match you with these people. It could be all women, you don't know, or it could be you and four men, whatever. And then you go and you have dinner in a restaurant and it's like a two hour window and you just get to know them. And I was thinking that's actually a really good way to go about it because it isn't the same pressure of matching with someone on a dating app and then just going one to one and kind of interviewing each other without anyone there. That it's more like a natural way back into a social scene because also when you're married, I don't know, I've never been married, but I'm assuming your kind of social scene has to change as well because usually married people hang out with married people. So if no one around you is married, like you need to kind of meet single people or yeah, people who live

• 25:31Speaker 03

  on their own and in your local area. So I don't know where she's based and I can't remember the name of the app. It's called Find Friends or something. I thought that was, I thought that was a nicer way of doing it. I was thinking about going, doing it that way. And then you just meet interesting people and then it kind of will go towards filling some of the void that's there anyway.

• 25:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think that that's a really nice idea to do that and to try and just get yourself back out there and to meet people instead of having to do it.

• 25:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:58Speaker 04

  By an app. But also now, I don't want this to sound bad, but I get what you're saying about married people kind of sticking together and wanting to go out with married people. Like I'm, I'm very, not that I'm very careful, but like I like having my separate friends and I like spending to have a separate friends and I want him to go out. I just think it's really important to have your own sets of friends and your own interests and not just always be doing stuff just together. Like you'll obviously do stuff together, but also just being your own separate entity is really important to keep that in any relationship.

• 26:27Speaker 03

  Of course. And coming out of a 24 year marriage is a 24. That is a life altering event. Do you know what I mean? You have to reboot everything. So I don't know if we've really given advice. I don't know. I do think the friends thing has felt to me like a more organic way of meeting people because yeah, the dating apps that they're like, they're stressful and they're hard. And also, I know this sounds stupid, get out of the house. And I say that to myself as well. Get out and about. It's always through friends of friends is the best way to meet people. Except there's no one around anymore. Everyone's dead.

• 27:03Speaker 04

  Well, you're forty.

• 27:05Speaker 04

  You're forty. No, people are getting divorced now. It's around that time.

• 27:09Speaker 03

  Not as many as you think, folk. That was very much what I was waiting for.

• 27:13Speaker 04

  Oh, really?

• 27:14Speaker 03

  Yeah. Things seem to be really, people seem to be really buckling down.

• 27:21Speaker 04

  Really giving that marriage a go.

• 27:22Speaker 03

  People are really taking those vows inconsiderably seriously.

• 27:28Speaker 04

  I think I read, I read too many books where there's all these single billionaires and it's just, it's obviously not the reality, is it not?

• 27:35Speaker 03

  No.

• 27:38Speaker 04

  Well, there you go. Do you have any more advice? My advice would be if you're gonna go down a water slide, wear a pad.

• 27:44Speaker 03

  That's not real life. That's Jilly keeper. I do think the longer you're out and the harder they are to get back in. So, yeah, I would say jump straight in.

• 27:53Speaker 03

  Straight in. Ask no questions. Don't even ask a second name. Just move in with them.

• 27:58Speaker 04

  Oh, God, I'm sorry about that. That's really tough.

• 28:00Speaker 03

  Thank you. It is tough for me.

• 28:04Speaker 03

  Thank you, folk. It's not often you give me sympathy like that and I do appreciate it.

• 28:08Speaker 04

  Oh, my God. Imagine you met someone at my birthday.

• 28:10Speaker 03

  I've no one to check my moles.

• 28:13Speaker 04

  I'll check your moles. I have too many. I have to go into a special place.

• 28:17Speaker 03

  I was gonna say, you've enough your own moles, folk.

• 28:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, no one can be checking my moles. I literally have to go somewhere. You've got thirteen hundred marks on your body. Yeah, I know.

• 28:29Speaker 03

  She's like, I had to do a week.

• 28:33Speaker 04

  They're like, I book it and they're like, yeah, it's two hundred and fifty quid to get your moles checked. And then I walk in, they're like, oh, no, sorry. We didn't realise it's actually fifteen hundred quid.

• 28:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, we've had to call for backup. We're getting doctors out of retirement and everything. The team.

• 28:47Speaker 03

  We have to grow it so much.

• 28:53Speaker 04

  Well, thanks everyone for listening. And please do send your emails in to...

• 28:58Speaker 03

  Ah, come on, Vogue, come on, come on, man.

• 29:02Speaker 04

  Can I be honest? I had a few drinks last night again. And I know I said I wasn't drinking again.

• 29:06Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 29:07Speaker 04

  But my brain is a bit foggy. You do it. MTG, hello, hello@[email protected].

• 29:14Speaker 03

  Shut up! She's trolling. She's rage baiting.

• 29:17Speaker 04

  Is it a global? Is it a global?

• 29:19Speaker 03

  This is Jojo C. Washington.

• 29:21Speaker 04

  Ah, hello@mtgmpod. I have two other pods I have to remember, too many emails. I've got my own personal email. It's a lot.

• 29:29Speaker 05

  Joanne wants the email.

• 29:30Speaker 03

  Oh, I'm sorry, folk. I'm sorry that you're too busy with your other podcasts. This is your main podcast. This is your bread, potato and butter.

• 29:39Speaker 04

  Darling, darling, of course, darling.

• 29:41Speaker 03

  That's a real spaniel thing. [email protected].

• 29:52Speaker 06

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